The Beauty Queen & The Oil Baron
by djinndjinn
Summary: It's 1967 and Sue Ellen Shepard's world changes when she meets one special man, JR Ewing. Regular updates :)
1. Miss Austin

**Austin, Texas**

**1967**

"10 minutes ladies, please make sure you're ready" came the voice of Mrs Sommers, the head chaperone at the Miss Austin pageant and a former Miss America herself. The nervous chatter in the room and the quick pace of dozens of pageant queen hopefuls became almost overwhelming as the looming start time dawned. Sue Ellen Shepard was amongst the young women, although she was less enthusiastic about the whole competition than her peers seemed to be. "Sue Ellen, what have I told you about frowning? You'll get wrinkles and ruin any chance at finding a worthy husband" Patricia Shepard scolded her young daughter, "sorry mama, I will do better," replied Sue Ellen with her best smile, "that's better".

The curtain opened and the contestants walked onstage for the introductory parade, Sue Ellen was on the arm of her boyfriend Clint Ogden, an unwilling participant at first much like herself, but with a lot of begging from Sue Ellen Clint had finally agreed to escort her, much to Patricia's aversion and disapproval. Sue Ellen forced herself to keep smiling and at least appear to be enjoying the pageant; she could not disappoint her mother and really had no other skills to fall back on, so pageantry was important, no matter her own personal feelings. The swimwear and eveningwear segments went well and all that was left were the talent and question segments, Sue Ellen was confident in her abilities to not only look pretty, but also appear ladylike in all aspects of her performance.

"Many women in our society marry men that they do not love out of a sense of obligation. This can lead to the breakdown in traditional family values and many societal problems. Do you believe that women should marry only for love, only for social standing or for other reasons?" Sue Ellen could feel Patricia's eyes on her as the question was posed; the question was perfect for her well trained daughter, but Sue Ellen despite years of training was still unsure of her mother's worldview and methods. With a deep breath and confident smile, Sue Ellen began to answer the question, "I believe that the number one reason for marriage should always be love, not money nor social status, but love. Because without a loving bond, a relationship is just a business transaction and cannot possibly spread the genuine values that are so important to our society. A woman should look for a man who is compatible not only in a social and financial sense, but in an emotional and spiritual sense. With love, anything is possible". The audience applauded and the judges marked their scores, but there was one member of the audience who was not pleased with the 'love conquers all' spiel that the young woman had been preaching.

Sue Ellen moved backstage confident that she would be making the final cut as long she performed well in the talent portion. Changing into her long, black dress, she thought about the question and the way she had answered it, truthfully she had had Clint in the back of her mind from the moment the question was asked. Clint was not marriage material by the standards her mother set, a lady always marries a gentleman and Clint was just a poor boy, but Sue Ellen had other ideas of what a good husband was. Clint was innovative and hardworking, he may not be a rich man, but he was a good man and she loved him. Her mother was always setting her up on dates with rich men, most of them were conceited, boring or nice but lacked the chemistry and spark she had with Clint. Most recently, she had been set up with Billy Frampton, the son of a billionaire whose wealth was made in the oil, uranium, diamonds and coal industries. Billy, or Mr. Frampton as she had called him their entire first meeting, was a very nice and rather attractive man, but she had stronger feelings for Clint despite his shortcomings in the financial column. Clint was a computing student who worked part-time at a physics lab. Sue Ellen had met him in one of her general education classes at The University of Texas at Austin. They had spent a great deal of time together despite her full social schedule of sorority functions, cheerleading practices and modelling shoots. Clint had asked Sue Ellen to be his girlfriend after half a semester of 'hanging' with each other and they had been together for over a year now. Throughout their year together, Sue Ellen had been on many 'dates' with other men to appease her mother. "Sue Ellen, Sue Ellen, Sue Ellen!" she snapped out of her thoughts as she heard her name being called by one of the backstage workers, she was up next to perform.

Sue Ellen's cover performance of 'My Love' by Petula Clark was met with a standing ovation and it was soon time for the finalists and the eventual winner to be announced. Standing in a row with 5 other beautiful girls, Sue Ellen started to get very nervous, she didn't necessarily want to win the pageant for herself, but more so that her mother would be proud of her. "The fourth runner up to Miss Austin is…" Sue Ellen was not really listening even though she should have had her full attention on the host. "Ladies and gentlemen, your new Miss Austin is Sue Ellen Shepard", as she heard her name she snapped out of the daydream she was in, they really called her name? The hosts were presenting her with flowers and crowning her. She put her best pageant smile on her face and started waving to the audience. It was all a blur, the photographers, the other contestants congratulating her and her mother proudly smiling.

After the initial chaos cleared, she really just wanted to go home and cuddle up with Clint, her mother had promised that she could stay out a little later with Clint if she won the crown, and she did. They spent a few relaxing hours together, celebrating her new title, but really just enjoying each other's company.

Her picture greeted her the next morning on the front page of The Daily Texan, her college newspaper, as well as the front page of the Statesman newspaper, an Austin-wide publication. She was a big deal today, but all her mother could do was remind her that, "you may have won this battle, you're Miss Austin now, but Miss Texas will be an even bigger challenge, and if you work hard enough you could go all the way to being Miss America". Sue Ellen knew that her mother was over the win and onto the next challenge.

To be continued...


	2. The Talk

**Austin, Texas**

A month had passed since Sue Ellen was crowned Miss Austin and her life was busier than ever, public appearances, charity fundraisers and speeches were amongst her duties as pageant titleholder and combined with her schoolwork, modelling jobs, cheerleading commitments and sorority functions she had been spending less and less time with Clint. Sue Ellen was in her bedroom at the Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority house trying to finish an essay for her Contemporary Literature class when there was a knock at the door, "Sue Ellen, your mom is on the phone".

Walking into the common area she sighed, she was not really in the mood to hear her mother chastise whatever action she had a problem with now. "Hello mama" she tried to sound cheerful but the stress and exhaustion in her life was apparent from her tone, "well Sue Ellen, you could try and sound a little more upbeat, a lady always shows her best face to the world and I can just imagine that right now you are not looking your best". She knew that this was coming, her mother was never just content with her daughter, and there was always something to nit-pick, even when she was not there in person. "I'm sorry mama, I'm just tired, I have 3 papers due this week, a test to study for, cheerleading practice in 2 hours, I spent all day touring the new hospital wing and I haven't seen Clint in a week. What did you want to speak to me about?" she spilled more complaints out than she intended to and almost immediately regretted mentioning anything to do with Clint. "Well that sounds like a busy schedule, but I know that my daughter, Miss Austin, will handle it with the grace and poise of a lady. Now, what I called for, oh yes, I wanted to make sure that you don't plan anything for this coming Saturday night, I've arranged for you to have dinner with John Thurman, his father is a big player in the oil business and it would do you well to make some more connections. I've already selected two dresses that I'd like you to try on and you will wear your hair up. He will pick you up at 7.30pm at our house and I think you should just spend the night here, because I wouldn't want you to have to worry about getting back to college that late at night" Patricia finished speaking and waited for her daughter to reply, "Sue Ellen, are you there?". Sue Ellen stood speechless for a minute until she heard her mother asking her whether she was still on the line; she was dumbfounded at the audacity of her mother to completely plan her life without a second thought to Sue Ellen's feelings. She knew that she really shouldn't be shocked, her mother had controlled almost every aspect of her life for the past 20 years, but she could still surprise her. "Uh yes mama, I'm here. But mama, Saturday night I was planning on seeing Clint, we've hardly spent any time together lately and…" she was cut off by the sound of her mother scoffing, "Sue Ellen, I tolerate that boy because you're my daughter, but we both know that he is only a temporary distraction before you marry a wealthy man that I approve of. You will go to dinner with Mr. Thurman and that is final". Sue Ellen was getting angry now but knew better than to make a scene in the middle of the common room, "I'm not committing to anything right now mother, I have to go and study, we'll talk later, goodbye" she hung up the phone and quickly walked to her room. She had mixed emotions, anger at her mother's dismissive attitude toward Clint and frustration that she had committed Sue Ellen to plans without consulting her beforehand. Her free time was precious now and she did not want to spend it having polite conversation with a date that she had no interest in, especially when she really wasn't available, something her mother would disagree with.

**Dallas, Texas**

Jock Ewing and his son JR spent the afternoon reading over drilling reports and discussing future strategy in the offices of Ewing Oil, located in downtown Dallas, "ok, so that's settled, Ewing 12 production is to decrease and Ewing 16 will increase. Is that all for today?" JR Ewing spoke with authority. "I think so, I'm just about ready to call it a day, Julie, type up those notes and you can go home as well. Buy you a drink JR?" Jock made his way over to the bar and made two bourbon and branch drinks, handing one to JR and sipping his own drink. The two men spoke as not only father and son, but also as business partners, JR had been preparing for the role of president of Ewing Oil since he was a young boy. For now, he was only the Vice President, but his father would retire in a few years and he would have control of the company, JR could not wait for that day. Julie Grey knocked on the door to let Jock know that she was finished typing the notes but had just received a late communication from the PR department of Ewing Oil. "Jock, JR, I'm sorry to bother you with this, but PR wanted to know how to respond to this particular invitation, usually they would just handle it themselves, but this one is addressed to you JR", she handed JR a piece of paper. JR started to silently read the letter only to be interrupted by Jock "well boy, what does it say?" he questioned. "Oh daddy, it's just a letter thanking Ewing Oil for our donation and sponsorship of the Miss Texas competition, good move by our accountants by the way, a nice little tax deduction we can get from that" he grinned, "they are inviting me to be a guest judge at this year's pageant". Jock laughed "well that ought to be interesting", he knew his son, a true Texan man, unmarried and taking full advantage of that status, Jock himself would very much enjoy judging a beauty contest if he were invited. "Yes daddy, very interesting indeed" he sipped his bourbon and grinned.

**Austin, Texas**

"Ok girls, that's all for today, great job with that final routine. Remember that we have to be in Houston on Friday by 7pm, the game starts at 8pm so I want everyone here and on the bus by 4.45, no exceptions", Coach Williams spoke to the cheer squad before releasing everyone. Sue Ellen changed clothes and left the gymnasium with a few of the other girls from the team.

After dinner, she returned to the sorority house to find Clint waiting in the common room. "Clint!" she ran and hugged him before looking around to see that they were alone, they embraced in a long, slow kiss before coming apart, "I missed you" she quietly spoke. "Would you like to go for a walk? I think we should talk" Clint replied, the look in his eyes worried her, "sure". Walking almost silently to a nearby park Sue Ellen began to get a terrible feeling. Breaking the silence she started to speak "Clint, I'm sorry that I haven't been around much lately, it's just everything is happening at once and there are so many things that I have to do that I really cannot get out of" she stopped walking and looked at the ground, "I love you and I need you to know that". As she stopped walking he stood in front of her, placing a hand on her cheek and lifting her face he looked into her eyes, "I understand that you're busy and I'm not breaking up with you, but we do need to figure out our relationship, we cannot go on like this. I love you and I want to be with you, so we are going to figure this out one way or another" he smiled at her and lightly kissed her lips to reassure her that he was being truthful. "Now that we've cleared up the elephant in the room, I want to show you that I am serious about making this work. Saturday night, I have planned a special night, just you and me, with no distractions from the outside world. I know that your schedule is open for me because we already arranged to see each other, but this will be much better than any of our previous dates". Sue Ellen's heart jumped at the thought of a perfect, relaxing night with Clint and then fell when she remembered how insistent her mother had been about seeing Mr Thurman. She wanted Clint, but her mother would be very angry with her if she disobeyed her wishes by not going on Saturday. "Clint, that sounds absolutely wonderful, but…" she got quiet, how was she supposed to tell her boyfriend that she was cancelling their plans, that they already had, in favour of a date with a man she had never met nor wanted to meet. "But what Sue Ellen? Don't tell me you can't go, because I checked your schedule, you have no plans, we already agreed on Saturday to do something before I came up with this special event", she looked at the ground again and whispered "I'm sorry, I have a dinner that I have to attend. My mother arranged it and I really couldn't say no, you know what she's like". He listened as she tried to justify cancelling on him "this is what I'm talking about, we have plans and then you go and do something to mess them up. I am making an effort here and you're throwing it back in my face" his voice got louder and angrier as he spoke. She knew that he was right and had no way to defend herself, "I'm sorry, I just can't" her words so quiet that they were almost inaudible. She turned and started to walk back toward the campus leaving Clint standing in the park alone. He thought about chasing after her but questioned the point, she obviously wasn't going to change her mind.

To be continued…


	3. Thoughts

**Houston, Texas**

Sue Ellen sat at the front of the bus, she really did not feel in the mood to celebrate the football teams win with the rest of the cheerleaders so decided not to sit with the energetic girls at the back of the bus. It had been three days since she had spoken with Clint in the park, ending with her walking back to the sorority house alone and upset. She was annoyed with herself, mad at her mother and worried about the strain her commitments were putting on her relationship with her boyfriend. She was juggling so many obligations and everyone had such high expectations of her, it was beginning to show in her appearance.

Laying her head against the window, Sue Ellen thought about the events of the previous day. Unannounced, her mother had shown up at the sorority house to make sure she had made herself available for Saturday night. "Sue Ellen, my goodness, you look awful. Are you sick? I hope you will look better by Saturday or else Mr Thurman will be thoroughly disappointed, I told him you were a lady, not a sickly young girl" were the first words out of her mother's mouth as she not so warmly greeted her daughter. No concern about why her daughter looked so worn out, just that she would make herself and her mother look foolish if she did not clean up her appearance. Apologising and promising to do better Sue Ellen ushered her mother upstairs to her bedroom so that they could talk privately. She knew that it was useless to explain the fight that she and Clint were in or the reason why, Patricia had one thing in mind for her daughter's future and it was not Clint Ogden. If she knew how many issues her interfering and controlling caused it would only make her more determined to push Sue Ellen into that kind of life. "I've brought two dresses over and you have another one here that I think may be appropriate for your date on Saturday, I'd like you to please try them on and I will help you choose" Sue Ellen quietly and obediently tried on two of the dresses while her mother commented on every aspect of her appearance. Walking over to the wardrobe Sue Ellen shared with her roommate Paula, Patricia found the final dress she had selected. As she pulled it out of the wardrobe, another dress fell to the floor, a dress that Sue Ellen had borrowed from a friend before a fraternity party and forgotten to give back. "What is this? Is this yours? I know I did not buy this for you; no daughter of mine would ever wear a dress like this. Answer me Sue Ellen" the dress was a lot shorter and more revealing than appropriate for a 'proper lady' like Sue Ellen, but very appropriate for the type of college party the fraternities often held. There was a side of Sue Ellen that her mother did not see and she did not want her mother to see, it wasn't a bad side and it wasn't a commonly seen side, but it was a part of her personality that she needed to have every once in a while. The life her mother had her living was so rigid and controlled, sometimes she wanted to scream at the frustration and she felt. She passively hid the rebellious side of herself most of the time, just agreeing with what her mother wanted because it was easier, but there were rare times where she did just let it all out. The dress was a reminder of one of those times that she had really let loose and done something her mother would not at all approve of. "I asked for an answer young lady" she snapped back into reality and replied, "Oh mama, no, that belongs to Paula. I would never wear something so un-ladylike" quickly taking the dress from her mother's hand she hung it on the other side of the wardrobe and proceeded to try-on the final dress.

"Good, good, you will wear this black dress and have your hair up; it's so much more elegant that way. Oh, I would like you to remember all the things I've told you before about keeping a man interested, Mr Thurman is heir to a large oil refinery company, it would do you very well to marry a man in the oil industry". Sue Ellen knew that her mother had one plan for her life and only one plan, marry a wealthy man, but she hated the way that she ignored her relationship with Clint in favour of setting her up with men she had no interest in seeing. "Mama, you taught me many things about keeping a man interested, but you forget, I already have a man who is interested in me and I am not going to give him up or betray him so that you can get your happy ending. I will go to this dinner because you are asking me to and deep down I believe that you have my best interest at heart, but I want you to know that I do not enjoy your methods or subtle hints that I should do anything more than be friendly toward Mr Thurman or any other man you set me up with. I have a boyfriend and we are committed to each other, I cancelled plans with him for this ridiculous dinner, but I would appreciate in the future if you would please ask me before committing me to plans. I do have other things to do and a life outside your control and would really like to have the choice about how I spend my free time". Patricia was shocked at her daughters sudden outburst "Sue Ellen, you don't know what you want. You may think your life will be happy with that poor boy, but when you have two children to feed and bills to pay, every thought and conversation revolves around money. Your choice of husband will define the kind of life you live and I will not have you throw that all away because you let your emotions cloud your judgement". She picked her purse and up the two dresses she had brought over and walked toward the door, "I'll see you on Saturday afternoon to help you get ready for your date. Think very carefully about what I said. I'll see myself out, goodbye Sue Ellen" and closed the door behind her.

She was startled when the bus hit a pothole in the road and brought her out of her reverie, back to the present. She would go to dinner tomorrow and then call Clint to apologise on Sunday; maybe she would even drop by his apartment to surprise him with her own special date. She knew she was in the wrong and wished she were stronger and could stand up more to her mother, but even when she did voice her feelings and opinions to her, she ended up agreeing to what her mother wanted anyway. That was something that deeply frustrated her, her passiveness combined with the need for approval and the want to please her mother was holding her back from doing what she actually wanted to do. She sighed and tried to focus on the scenery outside the window, fed up with trying to fix all of her problems in her mind.

**Austin, Texas**

Arriving back in Austin around midnight she said goodnight to her teammates and turned down an invitation to go out and celebrate with the football team. She got ready for bed and went to sleep, not particularly looking forward to the next day or night, but hoping that Sunday would be better and she could get her relationship with Clint back on the right track.

To be continued…

**Author's note: Thank you for the feedback so far. I have written the next 2 chapters and will post them in the next day or so. I really hate waiting for people to update their fanfic, I am impatient, so I decided that I'd just upload them as they are written as long as I have them. No unnecessarily long spacing between chapters. Please feel free to leave feedback, thanks **


	4. The Dinner

**Dallas, Texas**

The grandfather clock in the Southfork living room struck 2pm and a weary, hungover JR Ewing emerged from his bedroom. He could hear the sounds of the family outside by the swimming pool but made his way into the kitchen to make himself a Bloody Mary and take a pill for his headache before he walked outside. The previous night had been one for the record books and he wondered how Jock and Bobby were faring today. Bobby had come home from college for the weekend and he, Jock and JR had spent the night at the Longhorn Bar in Braddock catching up with each other. They had continued drinking into the night, a good idea at the time, but now the morning after, JR wasn't so sure.

Taking his drink and making his way outside he was greeted by Miss Ellie who sat by the pool supervising Lucy, JR's young niece. "Good morning JR, oh well more like good afternoon" she laughed, "mama" he responded looking around for Bobby and seeing he and Jock sitting on the patio looking about as good as JR felt. He walked over to his father and brother and they expressed their sentiments, last night was great, this morning was not. The men spent the rest of the afternoon talking oil and football, two topics the Ewing's were well versed in.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen sat in her bedroom in her mother's house and prepared for her dinner date. She still hadn't heard from Clint and knew that she would have to do some serious grovelling tomorrow. She planned to have a word with her mother after this date; she was going to focus on her relationship with Clint, no more spontaneous dates with men she was not interested in. She would still participate in all the activities that she was obligated to, but she would not compromise her relationship. Her younger sister Kristin entered the room and watched her tease her hair and apply her makeup, she was still only a child, but already in training to become the wife of a wealthy man. For Kristin, it didn't seem like such a bad idea, she hated not being able to have all the extravagances that the other girls in school had. Their family was not poor, but they were also not rich. A great deal of their income went towards Sue Ellen's improvement and training which left a tight budget for everything else. Patricia reasoned that it would all be worth it one day as long as Sue Ellen played her part right.

7.30pm came and went and there was no sign of Mr John Thurman, Clint was never late to pick up Sue Ellen, she was already displeased with this date and now he was late too. Her tolerance level was getting lower and lower by the minute. The clock read 7.50pm and there was a knock at the door, Patricia answered it and invited the man in. "Mr Thurman, how lovely to see you, this is my daughter Sue Ellen and my younger daughter Kristin" she waved her hand in their direction. "It's very nice to meet you Sue Ellen, these are for you" he handed her a bunch of flowers that she thought were rather ugly and slightly tacky. "Thank you" she accepted the flowers and handed them to her mother, "well we'd better be going, we have an 8pm reservation and we'll be late if we don't leave now", whose fault is that? thought Sue Ellen. If he hadn't been so late to pick me up, we wouldn't be rushing to make our reservation. He placed his hand on her back and escorted her out of the house. Sue Ellen got cold shivers at the man's touch and began to seriously regret not being firmer with her mother; she did not like this man and did not want to spend the evening with him.

At dinner, she made sure to follow her mother's rules, laugh at his jokes, ask him about himself and compliment him. She was friendly, but not too friendly, careful not to cross the line between casual pleasant flirting and something more serious. When he asked her to dance she agreed, but was still regretting ever agreeing to this ridiculous idea. She had a boyfriend, but instead of spending the evening with him, she was having dinner and dancing with a man she had no interest in and whose company she did not enjoy. She found Mr Thurman to be loud, obnoxious and greasy, she didn't care how much money his family had, he possessed no class and was not someone she wished to have anything to do with. As they danced, she felt his hand progressively move lower and lower down her back, uncomfortably low. "Erm, Mr Thurman" the uneasiness she was feeling apparent in her tone of voice, "please, call me John" he leered at her while still not moving his hand upward. Moving her own hand to his, she removed it and firmly spoke "I don't think that's appropriate, I have a boyfriend and…" she was cut off by his words "oh I know all about that, I was led to believe that you two were not serious and that you and I would be enjoying a pleasant evening together. I have to say; so far, it has been a most enjoyable night, what would say about maybe taking off now and going back to my place to continue the fun. We still have a few more hours before you need to be home and no one else has to know about our little trip" he ogled her and ran his hand down her back again, this time going much lower than was appropriate for a first date or a public location. As he spoke, she could not believe his audacity to make such a crude insinuation toward her, she was in shock at his words, but when his hand cupped her behind that was the last straw. Pulling away quickly, she slapped him hard, "Mr Thurman, I don't know what kind of girl you think I am, but I do not like your assumptions about me or the intimations you are making and would like to go home now!" she quickly walked to their table and grabbed her purse walking to the door. He rubbed his face and muttered some obscenities under his breath before walking out to pay for their meal and drive her home.

The drive back to her house was silent and she was thrilled when they pulled into her driveway. He walked her to the door and she entered as quickly as possible. They both knew there would be no second date and the chilly atmosphere between the two of them made the goodbye short and unfriendly. Good riddance she thought as she leaned on the inside of the door and let out a relieved sigh. "You're home early" she was startled by the sound of her mother's voice, "yes, I asked that awful man to take me home. I don't know why you ever thought he was worthy of me. You are always telling me how much of a lady I am and how I should act, well someone should have given that man the same lessons. He's a pig, apart from having a lot of money, he has no other redeeming qualities, he's crude, rude and knows no boundaries" she almost shouted her reply at her mother, but instead kept her voice at an even volume with a serious tone. Patricia looked at her daughter, not quite sure of the events that led up to this outburst but proud of her daughters words, it was quiet assurance that she was a lady both inside and out, from what she could tell, her daughter had a great deal of self-respect. "I'm not sure that I should ask what exactly happened tonight, but from the look on your face and your words, I can tell that it was serious. I'm glad you respected yourself enough ask to come home instead of letting a man take advantage of you. That is I assume what you were implying?" inadvertently asking her daughter to explain what happened. Her eyes blazing with anger at the man's assumption as she replied, "Yes mama, he in not so many words asked me to go to bed with him. I of course said no, but I am angrier that he assumed that I would even go there. I don't believe that I looked or acted like I was giving off that vibe that at all". Patricia stood in the living room thinking about what Sue Ellen had just said and how she could have been so wrong about that man. Was her daughter right about her, was she blinded so much by money that she failed to see the person behind the money? Sue Ellen walked upstairs without waiting for a response; she could see her mom questioning her process and smiled to herself. Maybe one good thing did come out of this night; maybe it gave her a mother a new perspective on the way she treats her daughters.

Sue Ellen went to bed and made a mental note to speak to her mom about re-evaluating her priorities and not taking Clint for granted. There would be no more dates with wealthy men selected by Patricia, she would choose whom to date and right now, she was choosing Clint. She also made a mental note to properly apologise to Clint tomorrow, not just a cursory apology, a real, genuine, heartfelt apology. She didn't want to lose him and hoped that he was still willing to try and make their relationship work. The next few months were going to be extra busy, with the semester coming to an end and her commitments to Miss Austin not decreasing in volume she was going to need someone like Clint, someone she could rely on. She didn't even want to think about how busy she would be if she won Miss Texas. Tomorrow, I will make everything better tomorrow, she thought to herself as she eventually drifted off to sleep.

To be continued…


	5. Apology

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen walked into the kitchen greeting her mother and sister at the breakfast table. Her sister asked whether she was busy today and if she had time to coach her on a few cheer moves she was having trouble with. Although Kristin was only a child she wanted to be sure that she made the cheer squad when she got to high school. Kristin admired the way Sue Ellen handled everything, but had differing opinions when it came to her mother's methods and controlling attitude. She really didn't see why Sue Ellen made such a big fuss about dating rich men, she certainly wouldn't mind someone treating her to nice things. Sue Ellen dismissed her sister's attitude as naïve and believed that she would probably change her mind when she got a little older. Money was not the only thing that mattered.

Sue Ellen worked with Kristin for an hour and then asked Patricia if she could speak to her in private. "Mama, I meant what I said last night and earlier this week. I am done with the blind dates you keep setting me up with. The pressure of everything I have going on right now is ruining the relationship I do have and I've decided to do something about it. Therefore, from now on, I will date whom I want to and right now that is Clint, if he still wants me. I understand that you are doing things for my sake, but it's starting to ruin other parts of my life and I can't have that. I will continue modelling and performing my Miss Austin duties and if I happen to make connections with notable people then that's fine. However, I will not be controlled to the point where I can't even decide what to do with my spare time. Please respect what I'm saying, I love you mama and I don't want to ruin our relationship, but I also can't have my life controlled for me. I'm going to go and see Clint now and then go back to campus, I still have a lot of schoolwork to catch up on" she finished speaking and waited for her mom's response. Would she be angry? Accepting? She could normally read her mother, but right now, she wasn't sure what she was thinking. "Ok Sue Ellen. I'll lay off you for a little while. But I don't want you corrupting your sister, she may be our only hope now. So when you are in this house, you are to be the obedient lady that I taught you to be and don't come crying to me when your relationship with that poor boy falls apart and you can't find anyone on your own" she dramatically replied, as if Sue Ellen had disowned her family. She couldn't deal with her mom when she was like this so quietly said her goodbyes and left.

"Clint?" she knocked on the door to his apartment and waited for an answer. She decided not to call first as it would be too easy for him to hang up on her and she really wanted to speak to him. She heard movement and knew that he was home; she just hoped that he would answer the door. The door slowly opened and he stood behind the threshold, not inviting her in but also not slamming the door in her face. Giving him her best wide-eyed pout she started to speak, "Clint, I came to apologise so please just hear me out, I think you'll like what I have to say" she pleaded while still standing in the hallway. Opening the door and waving her in he showed a hint of a small smile, "you use that look knowing the affect it has on me, that's not fair". Walking over to the couch he invited her to sit down, "would like a drink?" he politely asked, still feeling a little awkward and annoyed with her presence after her date, not before. She hadn't called him all week and he hadn't called her, he was still mad that she cancelled his plans in favour of something for her mother and that she was only now coming to apologise, after the fact. "No thank you", she sensed the chilly atmosphere and wondered when things got so bad, they'd had fights before, but never anything that resulted in them not speaking for a week. She knew it was mostly her fault, her life had gotten so busy and she had prioritised many things before the man she loved, if he'd have done it to her, she would be annoyed too. "Look, I hate this, I know I was wrong and I'm so sorry. You were right, I am to blame for most of our issues and I've had all week to think about it. I know that my schedule has caused strain on our relationship and that I should have just stood up to my mom when it came to our time together. I came to tell you that I'm sorry and that I have decided to make some changes to my life. I want to prioritise our relationship so I've told my mother that no longer will I be the pawn in her plan to increase our social standing and wealth. I am going to live my life the way I want to, and that includes a relationship with you, if you'll have me" the final few words were a whisper compared to the rest of the sentence. She was hoping that he could see she was being truthful and really did want things to improve; she couldn't deal with everything if he gave up on them now. Looking into her eyes he saw that she had just poured her heart out and it would crush her if he voiced any of his doubts, "you really mean that?" he ran his fingernails across the palm of her hand sending shivers up her spine, "I do, I love you, please believe me". Closing the gap between them he whispered, "I love you too" and kissed her, sweetly at first, but then more passionately, letting their feelings for each other become clear not through words but through physical touch.

The sound of a phone ringing interrupted their reunion, "don't answer it, just let it ring" she whispered, "I have to, the only people that call on a Sunday are people with something important to say" he placed a light kiss on her nose and got up to answer the phone. "Hello" he listened to the person on the other end as she watched him "ok, as long as it's quick, I'll be right there. Ok yes, goodbye" she could tell from the conversation that he was going to leave, not exactly how she planned their day together. "I'm sorry, that was Andrew from work, they're locked out of the storage room and the security company only have a man at the front desk Monday to Friday, I'm the closest person that has a key. He said all I have to do is open the door though and then I can leave, so it shouldn't take more than half an hour. You can wait here for me if you would like to, I would really like to spend the rest of the day with you" he smiled apologetically and she understood, "ok, I'll make us some lunch and then maybe we can go for a walk or something this afternoon". He left, promising to be quick and she set about making lunch.

She prepared some sandwiches and fruit, Clint didn't keep a lot of ingredients in his apartment so she really couldn't make anything fancier. It was a quicker meal than she expected to make, so she had some free time. Seeing that his bed was still unmade she walked into his bedroom to tidy up. Straightening up the picture frames and books on his desk something on his bedside table caught her eye, a small, black box. Intrigued, her curiosity got the better of her and she opened the box, inside was a beautiful sapphire engagement ring, it looked expensive and Sue Ellen wondered how long Clint had saved to buy the ring. Was this what his special date night was supposed to be? Was he going to ask her to marry him? They had spoken about marriage a number of times, but she always assumed that it would come after college and that she would have a modelling career or something similar to help contribute to their financial situation. Clint would get a good job with his computer engineering and physics degree, but she didn't want to feel useless in her marriage and the modelling jobs she did paid well. She began to consider the possibility of engagement right now, they would have to hold off on the wedding until after the Miss Texas pageant and if she won, then she would be a contestant in Miss America and they would have to delay the wedding again. Contestants were not allowed to be married and she really could use the money that winning the competitions awarded her with. Of course, that was all in the future, she might not even win Miss Texas, but what about her modelling career? After they married she could become pregnant and that would end her modelling days. She sat down and thought about her life, it was all becoming so real. If she wasn't a model or a beauty queen, then she wasn't anything. She would be graduating in a few semesters and she didn't have a fall-back plan if her situation were to change and she couldn't rely on her outward appearance anymore. Maybe her mother was right, maybe becoming the wife of an affluent man would give her everything she needed, financial stability and security, social standing and a purpose. She heard the door opening and shook off that last thought, she was happy with Clint and she was worrying for no reason. They weren't even engaged…yet.

To be continued…


	6. Decisions

**Austin, Texas**

A month had passed and Sue Ellen's re-evaluation of her priorities and although her life was still very busy, she was managing to juggle everything better and she felt better too. Her classes would be ending soon and she was glad to have a small break between semesters. She was taking summer session to make up for a class she had to drop at the beginning of the current semester to fit everything in her schedule. When enrolling before her win, she hadn't accounted for her Miss Austin duties taking up so much time. Being summer, cheerleading season was over, so that was one less commitment for her to fit into her calendar. Her relationship with Clint was going well, her mother had not forced her into any more dates and she was getting more regular and better-paid modelling jobs now that she was somewhat well known.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR Ewing sat in his office high above the city of Dallas, he was reading over drilling reports as Julie hovered behind him rubbing his shoulders. What they had was nothing serious, just fun, a casual relationship that worked for both of them. He was free to do whatever he wanted, not ready to commit to any one woman yet, and so was she, although she would have gladly settled down with JR if he had ever asked her. There was a knock on his office door followed by the voice of his father carried through, "JR, I'm coming in", that was something his father often did, just announced he was coming in rather than asking. It made life rather difficult for JR when he wanted a private moment, only to be interrupted by his father. His daddy was the boss though and there was no way that JR was going to argue with him and get on his bad side.

"Oh, hello Julie, I thought you went to lunch?" he questioned "well Daddy, Julie came in to tell me she was going to lunch and then I invited her to lunch with me, I was just reading over this last drilling report before we got going". Jock accepted his son's answer with a cursory nod and announced his reason for coming in, "JR, tonight I'd like to have a talk with you, so don't make any plans to go out after dinner ok?". JR nodded and agreed but wondered what his father wanted to talk about at home that they couldn't talk about in the office, a question that lingered in the back of his mind all afternoon.

**Austin, Texas**

Sitting on a picnic rug in the park, Sue Ellen's mind drifted to the upcoming Miss Texas pageant. It was being held on the first Saturday of July and Sue Ellen was quietly preparing herself for the biggest competition of her life. She had been in many pageants, but none that were state-wide. This was beginning to worry her, what if she disappointed everyone, not only her family, but the people of Austin. "Sue Ellen?" he waved a hand in front of her face, "are you even listening to me?" Clint's frustration at the revelation she wasn't listening to a word he said began to show "you know what, if you wanted alone time, you could have told me. However, you asked me here, you asked me how my day was and now when I start to tell you, you just switch off. What is wrong with you today?" She blushed out of embarrassment at the fact that he was right, she had asked him the question and then ignored his answer. "I'm sorry, I'm just distracted, the pageant is coming up soon and I'm afraid of disappointing everyone" she confessed, "but what was it that you were saying?" He sighed; she was doing that thing again, ignoring his problems and thinking about her own. Most of the time he didn't mind supporting her, she was more needy than he was, he could make decisions without taking into account everyone else's opinion, but she felt a constant need for approval. Today though, he was frustrated because he was actually asking her for her opinion on a problem and she had ignored him speaking.

Choosing to bury his annoyance, she was emotionally reaching to him again and he knew that she would be anxious for the rest of the afternoon if they didn't talk out what was bothering her. "You'll do fine; you could never disappoint anyone with your skills, besides, it's only a beauty pageant, there are more important things in life," he hadn't really meant it to come out as a criticism, but his true feelings were beginning to show. He didn't particularly care whether his girlfriend was Miss Austin, Miss Texas or just the nice girl he'd met a year ago before the titles, when they were married it would not matter, she would be Mrs Clint Ogden, there would be no need for a Miss anything title. He still hadn't found the right time to propose though, so there was no way she could know his imminent plan for her to drop the Miss from her name. "There are more important things in life? Yes Clint, I know, I'm not a child. Just because winning a pageant isn't the same stress as being a doctor or lawyer, doesn't mean that I don't get nervous about it" she pouted, he just didn't understand sometimes, a pageant queen and model was who she was, she hadn't done much more with her life.

He laughed lightly at the contrast between her child-like pout and her asking him not to treat her as a child, "Hmm, I don't think Doctor Shepard really suits you, Doctor Ogden I could deal with, but then I'd never see you, with all those late nights". She looked up at him with confusion, which one of them was the Doctor in the example. Did he just ask her an important question? "I have a better suggestion though, how about becoming Mrs Ogden instead?" he casually spoke the words as he pulled the small, black box out of his pocket. She gasped as he moved his hand and pulled out the ring that she had found over a month ago, she'd been wondering if he'd forgotten that he even had a ring, it had been so long since that night, the night it was supposed to happen. Deciding to play along in his game she replied, "hmm, I'm not sure, a Doctor gets paid more than a wife and they're more respected. Give me five reasons why should I choose the wife role?" she giggled at the look on his face, he obviously didn't plan on having her play into his game and had no pre-prepared list of reasons exactly why she should marry him. He loved when she was like this though, so playful and relaxed. "Ok then, first and most importantly, I love you and want us to spend the rest of our lives together. Hmm, number two, I love how we are together just like this, it's the definition of contentment. Number three, you're beautiful and charming, what man wouldn't want to marry you? Number four, you will make a wonderful mother someday, and I want to be the father of that child, and the final reason why is…" he moved to place a long, slow kiss on her lips, only stopping when he felt her melting into his arms, "that. Husbands can kiss their wives like that and they don't have to stop. I promise you, there is so much more where that came from". She had mentally said yes the minute that he pulled the box out of his pocket and suggested changing her name, but she realised she had yet to verbalise her response. "Yes, yes, I would love to be your wife".

An hour later, they walked back toward the sorority house hand in hand and said their goodbye. She felt like she did back when they were first dating, despite knowing the engagement was coming, she was still surprised when it happened and was thrilled and excited about being with him. Walking into her room it finally hit her, she was getting married, they were going to be husband and wife and still hadn't properly figured out their relationship. The same worries she had had when she had originally found the engagement ring came back to her, how was her mother going to react? How soon did Clint want to get married? How would he react to the idea of a long engagement so that she could still compete in the upcoming pageants? What about her modelling career? Would he accept her as a working wife? Would they live in his apartment or find somewhere new? It was a little small for the two of them plus a baby and she did always dream of raising her family a traditional white house, a small apartment wasn't quite the same. It was confusing and frustrating; there were so many questions that she didn't have answers for and so many variable responses to those questions. Maybe they hadn't thought things through as well as they thought they had.

**Dallas, Texas**

The family finished eating dinner, although the dinner table hadn't been full for the past few years. Only Jock, Miss Ellie, JR and Lucy lived full time at Southfork. Bobby was away at college and only came home during semester breaks and occasional weekends and Gary was off somewhere in another state, travelling, in jail, running away, no one quite knew for sure, good riddance if you asked JR though. "JR, I'll meet you in the den" Jock reminded JR of their plans and left the room to get a drink.

"What was it you wanted to talk about daddy?" JR questioned, he was in the dark as to what his father needed to discuss at home as opposed to the office. "How many seats are there at the dinner table JR?" Jock prompted his son, "Eight daddy, but you can see that. Why did you need to ask me?" this conversation was not at all what he'd expected. "I'm getting to that boy. There are eight seats, and how many people filling those seats?" "Four sir, sometimes five; you, mama, myself, Lucy and Bobby when he's around". Looking off toward the family portrait hanging on the wall Jock started to speak, "Ewing Oil is my legacy, my father never left me anything when he died, I've always planned to rectify that and make sure to leave my sons something they can be proud of. Your mama and I had been hoping that you'd come to this on your own, but you'll be 28 next week and you're still living the life of a young bachelor with no plans to settle down. I would never tell you to stop having a good time, but I want you to think very seriously about your own legacy, you are the first-born son, carrying on the family name, but so far, there is no sign of John Ross Ewing III. Do you want Ewing Oil to have no heir apparent when you're my age?" Jock laid out his thoughts as JR stood speechless. "You want me to go and produce a son?" he was still confused about the intention of his father, what happened to finding a suitable woman for the role? Now they just wanted some bastard child to fill the spot? "Well yes and no, what would really make your mama and I proud would be if you took that charm that you seem to have and directed it toward more appropriate women, a proper Ewing lady should be suitable for a Ewing life. We want you to find a wife, not just some stranger". JR knew he would one day get married, but right now he was enjoying the single life and was not ready to give it up, instead of arguing with his father and having his birth-right and legacy expectations thrown back in his face he politely agreed, excused himself and left Southfork in search of the nearest bar. He was in the mood for a blonde tonight and no stupid conversation with his daddy was going to stop him.


	7. Doubts

**Austin, Texas**

"Engaged!? What, where, when, how? I want details. Let me see the ring" Paula, Sue Ellen's roommate and good friend excitedly questioned. Showing her the ring Sue Ellen began to tell the story, she was so excited, but Paula could tell that there was something Sue Ellen wasn't telling her. "That's so sweet, Clint is a great guy. But what about your mom? You have to be kidding yourself if you think she'll ever let you go along with this plan. Moreover, what about college? Or the pageants? You have to finish college, but the pageant scholarships are paying most of your tuition aren't they?" Heaving a sigh, Sue Ellen had her thoughts confirmed, there were a number of uncertainties attached to this engagement and she wasn't sure how to solve their problems and still keep everyone happy. "Uh well Paula, I'm going to be honest, I'm not exactly sure, we didn't really get that far in our conversation and you're the first person I've told. But I'm sure Clint will be happy with waiting until I complete my commitments though and as soon as we show my mama that Clint has the potential to earn a good salary I'm sure she'll come around" she tried to assure her friend that everything would be ok, but inside she wasn't completely convinced herself. "Whatever you say, but I know I wouldn't want to be there when you break it to your mother, she scares me. Take my advice, talk to Clint before you do anything, you two both need to be on the same page and present a united front or else the whole thing will crumble before your eyes. Your mother senses weakness and knows your insecurities; don't let her take advantage of you if this is what you really want". Paula hugged her friend and secretly worried about her mental health, Sue Ellen's mom was vicious and scathingly critiqued Clint's every move, she was not going to make it as easy as Sue Ellen had tried to pretend and she hoped that Sue Ellen was prepared for that.

Sue Ellen slept restlessly, her mind racing and thinking of all the worst possible outcomes. Clint could decide that she was too high maintenance with all of her questions and break up with her, the pageant committee could strip her of her title and scholarship and her mother could take matters into her own hands, engineering some more awful dates for her to attend. Awakening feeling worried and uneasy she decided that Paula was right, she and Clint needed to seriously talk about their future and decide what to do. She prepared herself for the day and decided to skip her morning class knowing that she wouldn't be able to concentrate anyway. Making her way over to Clint's apartment she mentally listed everything they had to get settled before going any further with their plans, she just hoped that they were really on the same page.

"Sue Ellen?" he was surprised to see her standing at his door, she usually had class at this time and she was a good student, "are you busy? I think we need to talk" she sounded worried and he grew concerned. "No, I was just tidying up a little but that can wait. What's worrying you?" he ushered her toward the couch and took a seat next to her. "How do you do that? Read my emotions. Am I that transparent?" she asked, her eyes wide, "oh, it's just a look, I can't describe it, but I can recognise it. Now, you're worried about something, so share the problem and we can come up with a solution together" he smiled at her reassuringly. "Let me preface by saying that I am not having doubts about our relationship, but there are so many things about our marriage that we haven't even discussed. I realised last night that we haven't talked about a lot of things or what we're going to tell everyone when they ask us about our married life" he nodded, not really surprised at her words, she had always been a worrier when it came to getting the approval of others to justify her decisions. Placing his hand on hers he spoke, "ok, what kind of things do you want to discuss? We can figure everything out if we just calmly and rationally talk through any doubts you're having. Now, tell me what's worrying you".

Taking a deep breath, she prepared to inform him of her reservations about the marriage, "ok, well the biggest one has to do with timing, when do you want to get married? Because that will affect a whole lot of other things" that's the biggest one? He wondered. Maybe things weren't so bad after all, "well I was thinking sooner rather than later, but tell me your other concerns and we can decide together". Hm, sooner, not really what she had in mind, "ok, as I was saying, when we get married will affect a lot of other things. You know that winning the pageants helps pay my tuition right? Did you also know that to compete in the pageants, contestants must be unmarried? If we get married right away I'll lose my Miss Austin title and won't be allowed to compete in Miss Texas. That means that I won't be able to pay for college, the money I make by modelling isn't enough to cover everything. Then there's the possibility of my modelling career disappearing if I were to become pregnant soon after we marry. That would put us in an even worse position financially, I'd no longer be able to rely on my looks to get through life and I wouldn't even have a college degree because we can't afford to pay tuition for both of us. In addition, where are we going to live? This apartment is nice enough for the short term, but long term it's not a proper place to start a family. But how are we supposed to afford a house if I don't have a job and you're still in college?" she spilled out almost every problematic situation she could come up with and he was taken aback by the thought she'd put into snowballing their problems. "Sweetheart, you're putting way too much stress on yourself, I said I'd rather get married sooner than later, but I didn't demand that we do it right now. I said that because I love you and can't wait to call you my wife, but you're right, it would put us in a much better position if we both finished college before settling down" his words reassured and comforted her. "As for where we'll live, if we wait until after I graduate then I'll be available to work full time, hopefully in a job with a much higher salary than what I'm making now. You're a semester behind me so I'll finish first, that will give us some time to make arrangements for a new living situation. As for starting a family, when it happens we'll deal with it, but I don't want you to worry about having to financially support us or your modelling career. You'll always be beautiful, who cares what those women say. Now, is there anything else you're worried about?" She couldn't believe how amazing he was, she had arrived this morning as a nervous wreck, but with his words he had managed to calm and reassure her, except for one thing, her mother.

"Well, there is one more thing. Now that we've decided to wait until after graduation to get married, I'd like to also wait a little while before announcing the engagement. I don't want to risk my mother doing something to sabotage our relationship before we are in a position to be independent. Especially since her methods lately involve me going on dates with other men, I really don't want to start that again. I can only imagine how pushy she'll be when she finds out about our engagement, it was bad enough when we were just dating. If the key to her future prosperity becomes completely unattainable there's no knowing what she'll do". He listened to her reasoning, not fully agreeing with her, why should they have to hide their celebration? But he knew that her mom could be very manipulative when she wanted to so he agreed, it was probably for the best.

"Is that all?" he was ready to move onto a more positive topic, "yes, that's everything I wanted to talk about. I'm glad we figured all of that out, I feel much better now" she hugged him and spoke the words into his shoulder. "Good, because I have other plans for the day", she looked up at him and realised she had interrupted his day by skipping class and just showing up, "oh, I'll be going then". She got up to leave but was immediately pulled back down and into his lap, "oh no, my plans are right here" he pointed a finger at her jokingly before kissing her, running his hand through her hair as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back.

**Author's note: Thank you for all of the positive feedback so far, it's fun to write this time period. I promise that this is actually a JR/SE fanfic, but good things come to those who wait ;)**


	8. The Fight

**Austin, Texas**

Arriving back from the library Sue Ellen entered the sorority house and was overcome by an ominous feeling. Passing the common room and making her way to the staircase she heard her name being called, "Sue Ellen! Where have you been? I've been trying to call you all day" her mother was here, in person, now she knew why she had that strange feeling. "Oh hello mama, I had class and then went to the library to research information for one of my papers. Why? What's so important that you need to contact me right now?" the two women walked upstairs toward Sue Ellen's bedroom and as she opened the door Patricia noticed something different about her daughter. Looking down at her left hand she worked out what it was, there was a ring on her daughter's finger, an engagement ring. Not saying anything, she started to put a plan together in her mind, no way was she going to let Sue Ellen make a huge mistake and throw away her life by marrying that poor boy.

"Oh, well I called to let you know about an unexpected phone call I received today, you'll never guess who from" Sue Ellen wasn't in the mood to play games but was a little intrigued by her mother's excitement over a simple phone call. "I don't know mama, who?" she politely asked, "Billy Frampton" Sue Ellen's face showed a small hint of a smile. Her few dates with Billy had been enjoyable, he was attractive, very nice and attentive. She could see herself being friends with him easily, but the purpose of their dates hadn't really been to find friendship and they parted company after agreeing that they couldn't just be friends when he had stronger feelings toward her. Her feelings for Clint had been the comparison at the time and even now, she compared the two. They both had wonderful qualities, but she was attracted to each man in different ways. Billy was the son of a billionaire whose wealth was made in the oil, uranium, diamond and coal industries and Sue Ellen often wondered about what would have happened if she had met him first. It would make her mother very pleased if they were to rekindle their relationship, despite never actually having a proper relationship. "Oh? What did he want to speak to you about? Why didn't he call me?" she questioned, now interested in the conversation. "Well he's a proper gentleman, he wanted to make sure I was ok with his intentions before he made any moves," Patricia explained vaguely and Sue Ellen wondered where this was going. "Intentions? Mama, Billy is a very nice man, but I'm not attracted to him in any way other than as a friend. He knows that. What did you tell him?" she hoped that her mother hadn't led him to believe anything else, she didn't want to ruin anything with Clint and certainly didn't want to hurt Billy's feelings by turning him down again. "Well he enquired about how you were; he's seen you around in the media a lot you know, Miss Austin and everything. So I told him about you and how you have the Miss Texas pageant coming up soon and he asked very politely if you needed an escort. So I agreed, Billy will be your escort for the pageant, you two will look great together and everyone knows who his daddy is, maybe they'll see you as proper Miss Texas material, you are already but being seen on the arm of a Texas billionaire will be wonderful publicity." Sue Ellen now understood her mother's excitement; she was one step closer to the fame and fortune of the Texas high society.

Considering the pageant, she thought about Clint and how it had taken her over a week to convince him to escort her the last time. Clint hated the spotlight and attention from being on stage, and she wondered if maybe this was a blessing in disguise. He could still be in the audience, but he didn't have to be onstage. "He offered to escort me?" she wanted to make sure that her mother hadn't promised Billy something more in return for his goodwill. "Yes Sue Ellen, he called me, he asked about you and he offered to escort you when I mentioned the pageant" Patricia wasn't lying, that was how the conversation had gone, though she omitted the part where Billy enquired about Clint and how serious the two were. She didn't intend for Clint to be around much longer and Billy had reappeared just at the right time, she needed to break their engagement, fast. "Ok mama, Clint will be relieved; he hates the spotlight of being on stage". Patricia was pleased with her daughter's agreement without an argument, maybe she would have an easier job getting rid of Clint than she expected.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR Ewing begrudgingly sat having dinner with Carol Parker, the daughter of a congressman and JR's date for the night. She was a nice girl, a pretty girl, but she was just so dull in her conversational and flirting techniques. This was the kind of girl Jock and Miss Ellie wanted JR to marry? JR hoped that his parents would understand when he told them he would not be seeing Carol again; it was just tedious to spend time with her. His mind drifted to the previous day where his father ambushed JR, taking him by surprise and backing him into a corner with no other choice but to say yes to a date with the congressman's daughter. JR suspected that the accidental meeting with the congressman was not actually all that accidental, JR had seen Jock pull the same move on business rivals using hookers for blackmail or to gather information discreetly. Trying his best to continue the conversation but finding it had to pay attention, he found himself wondering if this was as good as it got with nice girls. Were they all like this? Nice girls had never interested him much, he was more interested in feisty women, but most appealing was a woman who didn't want him…at first. He loved the chase, it was thrilling and the rewards were excellent. However, after reaping the rewards, he would quickly lose interest and move onto the next thing that caught his eye. That was his approach and it worked very well for him. Dates with nice, sweet girls really didn't interest him and sitting at the table with Carol reminded him why, this dinner was taking forever and they were only on their appetizers and it was a three course dinner.

**Austin, Texas**

On top of Mount Bonnell, Austin's highest peak, Sue Ellen sat in front of Clint, her back to his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around her. Sitting in comfortable silence, they watched the sun begin to set. Clint sat thinking about how lucky he was to have Sue Ellen in his life and Sue Ellen sat thinking about her meeting with her mother earlier in the week. She hadn't broken the news to Clint about Billy yet, not that she was hiding it, the topic just hadn't come up in conversation. "I have some good news" she broke the silence, now was as good a time as any to tell him, "mm?" his response as encouragement for her to go on. "You don't have to be in the Miss Texas spotlight with me, I know how much you dislike the attention of being on stage. Mama was talking to Billy Frampton a few days ago and he offered to escort me. Isn't that great?" as she started to speak Clint was initially happy, but that happiness quickly faded when she mentioned Billy Frampton's name, that man had eyes for Sue Ellen and she was naïve enough to believe that he was doing it out of friendship.

He sneered as he spoke, "he offered? What were the terms of that gracious offer? Dinner? A weekend away? Sue Ellen, you promised me that you were a one-man woman and now you're dating Billy Frampton?" she didn't expect this reaction, she really thought he would be pleased. "Hold on a minute, I'm not dating him, he's going to be my escort in the pageant, I accepted because of how much you told me you disliked the attention at the Miss Austin pageant and I thought this would take the stress off you. I did not agree to any other dates with him and he didn't specify that I had to do anything for his company. I honestly thought it would make you happy" she was becoming irritated with him now; he was overreacting with no justification. "Oh come on Sue Ellen, you can't be that naïve, he's smitten with you, what man wouldn't be, plus he's rich and handsome, your mother must love the pairing you two make". His words stung, as if she would just forget about him because she spent a few hours with a rich man, did he think that little of her? "Hello? I love you, not him, we've been through this before remember? You won. If you're not willing to accept that then we're done talking about it because I will not apologise for a genuinely considerate action on my part. You told me that you didn't like the pageant side of my life, so I tried to keep you out of it, but as soon as you found out I arranged for another escort, you get mad. That's your problem, not mine" she couldn't deal with his male jealousy issues right now, couldn't he see that she was trying to be thoughtful?

"My problem with this whole thing isn't the 'what' of the situation, it's the 'who'. We know plenty of people that are just friends, but Billy Frampton does not want you as a friend. I'd be your escort if you asked me, I admit that I wouldn't enjoy it, but I'd do it because you asked me to. You know that you're beautiful, but do you see how often men stare at you? You're Sue Ellen Shepard the lovely Miss Austin, model, sorority girl and I'm just the guy standing next to you. Most of the time it's ok, because I know you care for me, but for you to choose him over me knowing that he has feelings for you, well that hurts and it makes me angry. So yeah, I do want you to apologise, because you knew all of this and still agreed to have him escort you". She was taken aback by his outburst, switching out of apologetic, sweet Sue Ellen and into feisty Sue Ellen she started to speak. "I knew all of that? How, how was I supposed to know any of that? You never verbalised that you would escort me in another pageant, you made it pretty clear the last time that you hated the experience. So obviously, I didn't want you to have to do something you hate again. As for men looking at me, like it's my fault that other people notice me? Do not blame me for other peoples actions, I am not in control of that. Another thing, you are not just the guy next to me, I'm pretty sure that it's clear we're together when we're in public. You're wallowing in self-pity right now and it's deeply unattractive. I will not apologise because I did not do anything wrong" she got up and started to walk back toward the path they had come up. The sun had set and it was relatively dark now, she didn't consider the safety of walking alone down a dirt path in the dark, she just needed to get away from Clint and his irrational, jealous lectures. Angrily, she navigated the path, walking quickly, just wanting to get as far away as quickly as possible. She didn't visually notice the uneven ground surface of the path, just felt it as she walked, she immediately regretted the decision to walk alone as she felt herself tripping over something and landing on her hands and knees, her ankle caught between what felt like a fallen tree branch and a rock. Shocked, hurt and angry she felt tears start to pour out and run down her cheeks, she couldn't stop crying even if she wanted to, it was like everything felt inside was coming to the surface.

Clint sat on the rock alone, was she right? Was he overreacting? He felt justified in his judgement of Billy Frampton, he and Sue Ellen both knew that that man had feelings for her. But she had chosen him the last time, that was also true. He still didn't like it though and she seemed to completely disregard his feelings. What about when he escorted her at Miss Austin, did he really complain that much? Maybe he did and maybe she really was trying to be nice and really did think Billy was harmless. He knew that blaming her for the looks she received was a low blow, she was right, she couldn't be held responsible for other men checking her out. But she had ignored how he felt about everything and stormed off, such a responsible thing to do in the dark. At that moment, panic hit him, he just let his pretty, naïve, upset fiancée walk out into the darkness of night, she could be attacked or hurt and he would be to blame, he was supposed to protect her from danger, not put her in it. He got up and quickly made his way down the path keeping an eye out for Sue Ellen. He didn't see her, but he heard small sounds coming from the area in front of him.

To be continued…


	9. Relief

**Austin, Texas**

"Sue Ellen!?" he yelled with panicked voice "Sue Ellen!?" he still didn't see her, but was getting closer to the sounds. "C-c-clint?" she stuttered through the tears, ashamed that he was going to see her in such a moment of weakness, but relieved that he had found her. He ran and saw her with her head hanging low, her ankle seemingly trapped. "What happened?" he questioned as he worked to lift the branch away, "I couldn't see well and I tripped over, then when I went to get up, I couldn't". She threw her arms around him as he freed her ankle and helped her to her feet, "ouch" she had a pain in her ankle, probably a bruise or cut from the branch, and it was painful to walk on. "Does it hurt badly?" he was angry with himself for letting her walk away alone, she could have been seriously injured, "it's painful to put pressure on, but I don't think it's broken. Probably just a cut or bruise" she was mentally assessing whether she'd be able to walk the rest of the way, Clint's mind was doing the same assessment. "Do you think you can walk?", taking a step forward she winced in pain "that's it, I'm carrying you, there's no way you'll make it down alone", picking her up with his hands supporting her back and legs, she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned close to him silently scolding herself for stupidly walking off alone. "I'm sorry" she whispered, "I'm sorry too. For everything" he responded, knowing that it was partially his fault for overreacting in the first place. They would continue their discussion another time but for now he was more concerned about seeing a doctor and making sure she was ok.

They made it back to Clint's car and he drove them to the emergency room, thankfully, her ankle was only sprained from the fall and bruised from the pressure of the branch, nothing permanent or with a long recovery time. As he carried her into the sorority house, he realised that males were not permitted past the first floor, should he risk being caught and getting her in trouble or should he make her ascend the staircase herself? He decided to risk just carrying her to her room; she had a medical reason for breaking the rules after all. Opening the door to her room he realised that she'd been in his bedroom plenty of times, even making his bed and tidying up when she felt like it but he'd never even seen the inside of her bedroom, at her mother's house or the sorority house. Closing the door behind them he walked over to the bed with the pictures of her mother and sister, her friends, her cheer team and a picture of him taped to the wall. Placing her down on the bed and removing her remaining shoe, he asked her if she needed anything before he left, "just my goodnight kiss", she was in much better spirits, the doctor had given her some pain medication and she was feeling pretty good right now. He kneeled next to the bed and kissed her, lingering a little longer than usual afterward, her lying down with that look in her eye turned him on but he knew better than to try and make a move, "I should go" he moved to leave when her hand reached out, "lay with me a while, I'm not tired yet".

He was conflicted, was she inviting him to do more? Should he stay? Her roommate could walk in at any moment, or the housemother. She was enjoying their moment, he had never been in her room before and she didn't want it to end just yet, "Paula's staying with her parents and there's a mixer at one of the fraternities, no one is going to bother us". Listening to her reasoning, he removed his shoes and lay down next to her, "you can come a little closer if you want, I don't mind", he was confused, she was usually rather prudish when it came to intimate things like this. There were ordinarily a lot of boundaries with Sue Ellen, her mother had taught her to always act like a lady and that meant keeping herself for her husband, a very frustrating rule to live by when desire exceeded rational thoughts. He pulled her closer to him, enjoying the closeness they were experiencing but still conscious of her out of character behaviour and mood change from her earlier disposition. He was confused about her intentions, she had been giving him a look that matched his feelings, but he was worried he misread the signals. "Sue Ellen? I really think I should go, I'm not even supposed to be up here" he didn't know why he was trying so hard to leave, he could have laid with her all night, but something told him that she wouldn't feel the same way in the morning. "Oh, well you don't have to, but if you think you should then ok" she sadly pouted, not wanting the evening to end, her inhibitions somewhere else right now. "I do, as much as I'm enjoying this, I don't want to do something that you'll regret, I know your position on things like that" he sat on the end of the bed and tied his shoelaces getting up to leave. "I'll call you tomorrow to check on you, goodnight" he leaned down and kissed her again, "goodnight" she whispered as he walked to the door, checked the hall and discreetly made his way out of the sorority house. Getting herself ready for bed she tried to relax but just could not seem to lie still, Clint's presence had wound her up and then his departure had left her frustrated. She gazed at his picture on the wall and touched her lips where he had kissed her before he left. If she closed her eyes, it was as if she could still feel him there with her and before she knew what was happening she was doing something her mother would most definitely not approve of.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR walked downstairs and outside to the patio, he had returned to Southfork late last night, after dropping off Carol and then going for a drink at the Cattlemen's Club, he felt like he deserved a drink after putting up with his boring date all night. By the time he returned home, Southfork was quiet and everyone was in bed. "Morning mama, daddy" he didn't see Lucy and assumed she was in the den watching cartoons, it was a Saturday morning and she always watched cartoons on Saturday mornings. "JR" Jock grumbled in his morning tone, "how'd that dinner go last night?" he was hopeful that his little setup had worked and JR was beginning to understand what was expected of him. It didn't have to be Carol Parker, it could be any lady that his parents approved of, but to marry an acceptable lady, JR had to first find and date proper ladies. "Well daddy, it was ok, she's a nice girl and all, but I don't think it's going anywhere. She had no personality daddy. I was telling her about the Ewing barbecue and how we serve mama's famous chili and you know what she said? She doesn't eat chili because it's 'too spicy'; this is Texas, what kind of woman doesn't eat chili?" he shook his head, it really had been a dud date. Jock chuckled at his son's recount of the date and decided that JR had suffered enough, he didn't need a lecture from his father telling him to make it work, that girl did sound like a bore and he wouldn't want a bore for a daughter in law.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen woke up with a throbbing ankle and headache to match, the fall must have bumped her head as well, the doctor had really only looked at her ankle and the painkillers he gave her seemed to work on both her head and ankle pain, until now. She sat up and drank a glass of water, taking two more pills. Remembering the previous night, she thought about her behaviour, either this medication had strange side effects or the fall had caused temporary insanity, thinking to herself now she realised that if Clint had been any less of a gentleman she may be lying here with some huge regrets, she was not in her right mind last night. She made a mental note to call and thank him for his help. Then, realising it was Saturday and she didn't have class, she decided to go pick up some pastries and coffee and bring Clint his breakfast.

To be continued…


	10. The Eyes of Texas

**Dallas, Texas**

JR arrived back at Southfork frustrated and unsatisfied, he'd been dating 'nice' women for two weeks and was beginning to lose hope for the future of Dallas' high society, these women were all the same, so boring and lacklustre, the next generation of submissive wives for rich men. He didn't mind submissive women, he enjoyed the power, but it was awfully dull to converse with someone who had no thoughts or opinions of their own. He'd leave those women for the men of Dallas, he was not interested. Seeing no lights on inside the house, he entered and quietly made his way to his bedroom thankful that his father had already gone to bed, he didn't feel like having another argument about the hypothetical John Ross Ewing III and when he would materialise into the world. Noticing the paper on his dresser, he remembered the invitation to judge the Miss Texas pageant, the pageant was this weekend and that improved his mood. He'd slept with beauty queens before but Miss Texas would be the ultimate conquest. Grinning to himself, the real JR Ewing emerged; he went to bed much happier than he'd been any night in the past two weeks.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen sat in a meeting with her mother, Billy Frampton and Mrs Sommers, the head chaperone and pageant director of the Miss Austin pageant. Clint had begrudgingly agreed that Billy should be her escort, after all Billy did offer and Clint didn't actually want to do it himself, he'd mostly just objected because of Billy's feelings for Sue Ellen, but he trusted her when she said that she was not interested in Billy. She had made it clear to Billy that she was thankful for his offer, but she was serious about Clint, not quite going as far as to tell him about the engagement, they were still keeping that a secret for now. The meeting was a final run-through of Sue Ellen's performance to make sure she was prepared to represent Austin in the Miss Texas pageant. As the meeting ended, they said their goodbyes and Sue Ellen left with her mother, they were driving up to Fort Worth tonight to get settled before the pageant tomorrow night. Although everyone kept telling Sue Ellen that she was perfect for the role and that she would do great, she still wasn't completely convinced, she was tense, nervous about messing something up and disappointing everyone who had believed in her. She would be up against 31 other women, 31 other women who were also being told that they had what it takes to win. As they drove toward Fort Worth, she sat quietly in the passenger seat while her mother rambled on about the pageant.

**Fort Worth, Texas**

The morning of the pageant arrived and Sue Ellen awoke more nervous than she'd ever been, she was scared of failing everyone. Paula and Clint were driving up together and Billy was arriving this afternoon. Kristin and her mother wouldn't stop talking and she had to get away for a minute, she needed to be by herself. Walking to the roof of the hotel, she looked out over downtown Fort Worth and tried to calm herself down. Remembering what Clint had said when she'd confessed her fears, there are more important things in life than beauty pageants , she realised he was right, all she could do was her best and hope that it was impressive enough for the judges.

JR Ewing arrived at the convention centre and was introduced to the other judges. He was excited about the opportunity to judge 32 beautiful women and maybe end up in bed with one, or two of them. This was going to be an exciting day and he couldn't wait.

Sue Ellen stood backstage surrounded by 31 other contestants, their escorts and hair and makeup assistants. It was overwhelming and nerve-wracking, in less than 10 minutes she would be representing he city and vying for the state crown. The other girls looked so confident, if they were nervous they weren't showing it but inside Sue Ellen was a bundle of nerves. "Hey, it'll be fine, you look fantastic and I've heard you sing, you have the voice of an angel" Billy stroked her hand a little friendlier than she would usually permit, but she needed that encouragement and didn't bother correcting him, "thank you", she smiled up at him and kissed his cheek.

The contestants lined up and the introductory parade began, Sue Ellen put on her best pageant smile, hooked her arm through Billy's and began to walk. The spotlight was bright, but she could still tell that there were 10x the amount of people here today than there had been at Miss Austin, brushing off the thought she walked confidently toward the end of the stage and back around. The first round was the question and answers, Sue Ellen's question was easy and non-controversial, she was very pleased that she had gotten so lucky; a good impression on the judges was paramount. Her eyes wandered to the judging panel, there were five judges, three women and two men. Fixating her gaze on the youngest of the judges, she immediately thought that he was very handsome and she noticed that he seemed to be immensely enjoying the parade of women in front of him, although quietly cringing at some of the answers they were giving. Miss Galveston hadn't been as lucky with her question as Sue Ellen had, she wasn't aware of the war in Vietnam and couldn't answer the question articulately. Miss Amarillo made the mistake of saying she agreed with the theory of evolution, despite referencing God and creating the world in seven days, Sue Ellen felt bad for the girl; she obviously didn't know the major difference between the two ideas. Standing onstage listening to the other girls answer the questions gave Sue Ellen an idea of who her biggest competition was and who wasn't much of a threat. Her gaze moved back over to the young judge, he had the most striking blue eyes and even though she hadn't made eye contact with him, she could tell that his eyes were an important part of his demeanour, they added mystery to his attractive appearance. There was just something about those eyes that seemed to be hiding secrets, things about the world that nobody else knew or noticed. She wondered who the mystery man was, he had to be a guest judge, he looked nothing like the usual male pageant judges. If they had announced his name at the beginning then she had missed it. She moved backstage with the other contestants to change into her bathing suit for the next category.

Sue Ellen was always self-conscious when it came to the bathing suit category; it was so strange to be standing in front of a crowded theatre in such a tight, skimpy garment. In no public setting other than a beach, lake or swimming pool was it appropriate for a woman to show more than a few inches of skin above her knee, but the bathing suits selected by the pageant committee emphasised and accentuated every curve of the women's bodies. She tried to push her insecurities out of her mind as she walked out on stage and followed the other girls in the designated pattern. As she got close to the judges table, she noticed the handsome young judge looking straight at her, she was embarrassed to be this exposed and have his full attention. Feeling herself blush she walked a little faster, hoping to get out of this bathing suit soon.

JR had been enjoying the show, the first parade gave him a good idea of what was on offer for him here, all of the contestants were beautiful, but a few were special, one in particular, he recognized her escort, Billy Frampton. His daddy had done business with Frampton Industries a few times, but the Frampton's lived and worked out of Austin so they were not frequent business partners with Ewing Oil. This girl had to be pretty impressive to get someone like Billy Frampton to participate in a beauty pageant. There was something different about this girl, so shy but so attractive. It was almost as if she didn't want to be on stage, but she was beautiful and she was a pageant queen, so he had no idea why she would have any doubts. The introductory parade only lasted a few minutes and the women moved fairly quickly, he wasn't able to get a proper look at an of them, but he supposed that's what the individual categories were for. As the women answered questions, he cringed at the stupidity of some of the answers, when did college girls get so dumb? he wondered. Miss Austin, the beautiful girl escorted by Billy Frampton, answered her question clearly, articulately and personably, JR was impressed, he gave her a 10. He wondered what her name and background was and decided that after the competition he would find her. He was sure that she would win, there was just something different about her, something magical.

As the contestants came out in their bathing suits JR began to notice how repetitive the competition was, it reminded him of a cattle auction, he'd been to a few with his daddy and brother, they would bring in one group of cattle, auction them off and bring in the next group that looked very similar to the last. JR never had much of an interest in the ranching side of his family so the cattle up for auction could be the same ones being sold over and over for all he knew. He likened the contest to a cattle auction because of the similarity between the girls prancing around on stage trying to look sexy, they all looked very similar, except for one girl, Miss Austin. This girl had an aura about her, she wasn't trying to look sexy, but she did. There was something else about her though, innocence perhaps, she was a proper lady and that was more appealing than any of the other women flaunting themselves onstage. He knew he had to talk to her, the plan to conquer Miss Texas just got a whole lot more complicated, he didn't want to settle for just having her in bed, he wanted her in his life.

To be continued…


	11. Miss Texas

**Fort Worth, Texas**

The talent portion of the contest was next, each contestant was given a maximum time allowance of 5 minutes to highlight some form of creative skill. Most contestants chose to sing, dance or play an instrument. To get this far in the pageant world contestants had to be skilled in at least one department where they could display an expertise that would set them apart from the rest. Sue Ellen had always sung in pageants, she felt more confident about her singing ability than her dancing. Unless she was dancing with a partner or in a group then she didn't dance, that's why cheerleading appealed, she was part of a collective, no one noticed the individuals involved, just the group as a whole. Patricia had selected three songs for Sue Ellen to choose from and she had picked 'People' by Barbra Streisand. As she walked on stage, she noticed the handsome judge sit up a little straighter; catching his eye just for a second, she felt her heart skip a beat. There was something about his look that made her more determined to impress, as if she had to go a little further to make herself stand out. Little did she know that she was the only girl he had taken any real notice of all night.

The final event of the night was the evening gown competition. "Here is Miss Fort Worth, Tracy Grant. Tracy is 22 years old, 5-feet-8-inches tall with blond hair, a senior at Texas Christian University. Lovely, just lovely" the pageant host gave a small synopsis of each contestant as they stepped forward, twirled to show their gown and turned back to join the line. "Miss Corpus Christi, Mary Lou Barnes. Mary Lou is 20 years old, a 5-foot-5-inch brunette and an art major at Corpus Christi Junior College". Sue Ellen wore an elegant white dress with a sparkly silver bodice and white gloves, she stepped forward as the host spoke "from Austin, we have Sue Ellen Shepard, 20 years old, 5-foot-7-and-a-half-inch brunette. She is a senior at the University of Texas and the eyes of Texas are upon her". JR made a mental note of her name and college; he was interested in this girl and wasn't going to let her slip away from him.

The judge's votes were tallied and the five finalists stood on the stage. Sue Ellen was nervous, more nervous than she had been at the Miss Austin pageant and even then, she had been tense. Her mother, sister, fiancé, friend, escort and representatives from the Miss Austin pageant were all there to support her personally and she really did not want to let anyone down. "The fourth runner up to Miss Texas title is Tracy Grant", Tracy was escorted to the other side of the stage and the additional places were announced. Eventually it was down to Sue Ellen and another girl named Allison, Miss Waco. Anxiously waiting for the results she thought about her reaction if she lost, she had to make sure her public face wasn't one of shame, but of thankfulness for being a part of the contest. She wouldn't want to be known as the sore loser from Austin, her mother would have a fit, actually her mother would probably have a fit anyway if Sue Ellen lost, she raised winners, not losers. "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of Miss Texas 1967 is… Sue Ellen Shepard", no need to worry about that she realised as they called her name. She was presented with flowers and given a congratulatory hug by Miss Waco, a white sash was placed around her chest and the beautiful sparkly silver crown on her head. She walked across the stage to the sound of applause and 'The Yellow Rose of Texas' song playing in the background. Standing at the end of the stage she waved to the applauding audience and took a look around the theatre, she spotted her mother and sister as well as Paula and Clint. Next, her eyes moved toward the judging panel, they all looked pleased with the outcome, especially the attractive, blue-eyed man. Billy joined her at her side and he escorted her offstage.

"Oh Sue Ellen, I'm so happy, my daughter is Miss Texas" Patricia gushed, Kristin congratulated her sister and wandered off to look at the stage, she wanted to pretend she was Miss Texas, after all, one day she would be if their mother had her way. Billy and Sue Ellen posed for a few pictures together and then Sue Ellen answered some questions for the press. Clint and Paula arrived backstage in time to see her answering some final questions, Sue Ellen kissed Clint and hugged Paula and they congratulated her on her win. Amidst all of the chaos Sue Ellen didn't realise she was being watched, JR had been waiting for a time to introduce himself, but she was always surrounded by people. First, she was with Billy Frampton, and then came her mother and a younger girl he assumed as her sister, then photographers and reporters surrounded her, eventually they cleared and he started to make his way toward her. The sight of her kissing some man and then hugging the girl standing next to him interrupted his path, damn, why didn't he realise she was taken, a gorgeous lady like that, of course she's taken, he scolded himself for assuming it would be as simple as introducing himself. Deciding to just go for it, they looked about ready to leave and now was his final chance, he walked up to the small group and spoke.

She was facing Paula and Clint when she got shivers, "my compliments to the queen, congratulations Miss Texas" was all it took; his deep, commanding voice had an invisible power behind it, something inside of her melted. Slowly turning around, she was face to face with the devilishly handsome judge; "thank you" was all she could manage to get out. "Oh how rude of me to speak without introducing myself, I'm JR Ewing", making eye contact as he grinned, his eyes displayed a hint of mischievousness. "How do you do Mr Ewing" she switched out of the casual conversational mode she had been in and into the vocabulary of a lady, he didn't really know how to respond. "You were wonderful tonight truly the Yellow Rose of Texas, as the song goes. I can only speak for myself, but the other judges were very impressed too" he was flustered, this wasn't really how he'd expected their first conversation, it was so formal and he felt like he was making no headway toward what he really wanted.

Clint observed the two exchanging words, making eye contact and never breaking it, he didn't like the man, he had that same look in his eye that countless other men had when speaking to Sue Ellen, but he had something else too, he looked determined. Patricia had noticed the same look, "Ewing? That wouldn't be Ewing Oil would it?" she hoped that it was, if Sue Ellen wasn't interested in Billy Frampton and his family's wealth then Patricia needed to find a suitable replacement. Her daughter seemed to be silently communicating with this man and enjoying his presence; if he was a Ewing of Ewing Oil then she wouldn't object to Sue Ellen dating and marrying him, anyone would be better than Clint Ogden. "Yes ma'am, my daddy is Jock Ewing, I'm the Vice President for now, but when he retires I'll become the President of Ewing Oil", he decided that he'd better make a good impression on her mother, he would need her support if he were going to get anywhere with Sue Ellen. Billy had been standing by and observing, he'd given up on having anything more with Sue Ellen the moment he saw her reaction to JR, Clint had something to worry about if he knew that look. "Ewing Oil? I think my company, Frampton Industries, have done some business with your daddy; you're based in Dallas right?", JR turned his attention to Billy and responded, "yes, Dallas, but we do business all over the state, one day we'll be the biggest independent oil company in Texas". He turned back to Sue Ellen, he hadn't wanted to get distracted by everyone else, but supposed that was what came with the territory of group conversation. "I just wanted to come over and congratulate the prettiest girl in Texas. Well, I can see that you're busy here, so I'll be going. I'll see you around darlin'", little did she know that he really meant it. "Thank you Mr Ewing", she had hoped he would stay a little longer, she was enjoying just being near him, but she knew that they'd get nowhere with everyone participating in the conversation. He'd intended to have a more private conversation, but that could wait for another day, his plans were just beginning.

To be continued…


	12. Yellow Rose of Texas

**Fort Worth, Texas**

"Harry, I want any information you can find out about Sue Ellen Shepard, she's a student at UT Austin, 20 years old and she's the new Miss Texas. I want to know everything and I want to know now", JR hung up the phone, confident that his connections would get him the information he wanted. As he drove back to Southfork he recalled the night, from the moment he laid eyes on her, he knew that she would win, and then when he spoke to her it felt like everything was right. He'd never felt like this before and he sure didn't want to throw it all away. He had meant what he said when he finished their conversation, "I'll see you around darlin'" were his words and he intended to live up to them. Forming a game plan he smiled to himself, it may not be easy, but she'll be mine.

Clint and Paula had driven back after the pageant and Billy had flown back to Austin. Sue Ellen, Kristin and Patricia were staying the night in Fort Worth and driving back to Austin the next morning. It had been a very long day and she was exhausted, Sue Ellen's mind raced as she prepared herself for bed, thoughts of the pageant and of the mystery man floated around in her mind. The man was no longer such a mystery, Mr JR Ewing, an oil baron by all accounts, but she didn't care about his job, she cared about him. There had been something going on, she just didn't know how to describe it. He spoke and she got shivers, he had such a commanding presence, it demanded attention and he got that attention. Her mother had been pleased, actually, everyone had been enjoying the conversation, everyone except Clint. Clint hated when other men looked at her like that, usually Sue Ellen noticed it but brushed off the attention, but this man had something she liked, something inside her craved his attention. She felt a little guilty about how much she had enjoyed JR's presence and how she wished he could have stayed longer, she was supposed to be engaged to Clint, but had spent all night thinking about JR. She loved Clint, but JR evoked feelings inside her that she'd never felt so strongly. They had only just met and already she was having unladylike thoughts about him. She shook off any conscious thought about either man and went to bed, falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

**Austin, Texas**

Arriving back at the sorority house on Sunday afternoon she was greeted by a dozen yellow roses, there was a small card attached, writing was on both sides of the card, she began to read. On the left side of the card was written, "_she's the sweetest little rosebud that Texas ever knew, her eyes are bright as diamonds, they sparkle like the dew; you may talk about your Clementine, and sing of Rosalee, but the yellow rose of Texas the only girl for me_". On the right side of the card was a personal message, "never before have I related to these words so much, I meant what I said last night, truly a Yellow Rose of Texas, congratulations darlin' –JR Ewing". She walked into her room holding the flowers as she read the card again, smiling from ear to ear she was met by Paula, "I know that look, somebody is lovesick. So, who are the flowers from? No wait, let me guess, the very handsome, very wealthy, very determined JR Ewing?" Sue Ellen could only continue to smile as she handed the card to Paula. "Wow, that's very sweet. Hard to believe with his reputation", Sue Ellen snapped out of her dazed mind as Paula mentioned JR's reputation, "what do you mean by that comment? What kind of reputation does he have and how do you know?" Paula sat back against her pillow, "Sue Ellen, I'm from Richardson, Texas, that's a 25 minute drive from Braddock. Everyone knows the Ewings, even if you've never actually met them, you know of them. JR is the kind of man who lives by the motto 'work hard, play hard' and he does just that. In contrast, there's his brother Bobby, he's the All American one, he's about our age, football player, popular guy, but nice guy, you know the type. There is another brother, Gary, no one likes to mention him much, actually, I don't even know what happened to him, he has a daughter though, Lucy, she's about Kristin's age and she lives with their family. They live at Southfork Ranch, I've never been there, but I've driven past, it's a beautiful, stately white house. All I meant by my comment was that JR is known for two things, business and women. He's ruthless but gets things done and enjoys the company of many women. It's not necessarily a bad thing, we're surrounded by guys like that right here, but I just can't imagine him being romantic like that card leads you to believe, or even the way he was last night, he was very sweet, I can see why you're so infatuated. Maybe there is another side to him, but it's definitely not a side that he often shows publicly".

As she finished speaking, Sue Ellen sat down; she believed Paula, she had no reason to lie, but she had mixed feelings. "Last night, we made eye contact a number of times…" Paula interrupted Sue Ellen's sentence, "yea, I was there, you two couldn't keep your eyes off of each other, Clint wouldn't stop mentioning it on the ride back". Sue Ellen continued to speak, "no, even before that, during the pageant, he was watching me. We made eye contact and I knew there was something mysterious about him, you can tell a lot about someone through his or her eyes. JR's eyes seemed to be hiding secrets. Things he knows about the world that no one else knows. I find it very appealing, but I don't want to get hurt and I don't want to hurt anyone. In addition, as you mentioned, Clint was not happy with his attention and was not happy with me. He called me this morning to ask if I'd gotten home alright and it turned into a fight about me flirting with JR. I was not flirting with him, I was being friendly..." Paula giggled, "uh Sue Ellen, you didn't see yourselves from an outside perspective, you two were definitely flirting, it may not have been spoken, but the feeling was there". Sue Ellen wasn't really that shocked, deep down, she knew that she would have kissed JR right there if he'd made a move, something inside her wanted him. Sighing she spoke quietly, "what am I going to do? I'm engaged to Clint but can't stop thinking about JR. I thought it would go away after the pageant, I'd never see him again, but he's sending me flowers with sweet notes and I'm enjoying it", Paula moved to hug her friend; she liked Clint, but could absolutely see the appeal of JR Ewing. It didn't matter what his reputation was, it was his actions that were swaying Sue Ellen and she didn't know if Sue Ellen had enough willpower to not react, she clearly wanted to.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR sat by the Southfork pool reviewing the papers he had been given by Harry McSween, Harry had gathered the information about Sue Ellen very quickly, especially for a weekend, and JR had rewarded him generously. This morning, JR had placed an order for a dozen yellow roses to be sent to Sue Ellen's sorority house daily, he assumed that she wouldn't call him after the first time, but the subsequent flowers and messages that went with them were all part of his plan, make her want him as much as he wanted her. Waiting was the key; if he moved too fast then he ran the risk of losing her because he was coming on too strong, but if he slowly built up to her affections then there was no way she could say no to a 'simple' dinner with him. The file mentioned a boyfriend, Clint Ogden, not a wealthy man, but he would have a decent career after college. JR heard the way her mother had perked up at the name Ewing, and Billy Frampton had escorted Sue Ellen, there was no way her mama would be happier with Clint Ogden than JR Ewing, she was obviously swayed by money and JR had a vast knowledge of the phrase 'money talks'. With his game plan, there was no way he could fail to get a date with her; he just had to be patient.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: **_**The Yellow Rose of Texas**_** lyrics are in the public domain. Thank you so much for the positive feedback, it means a lot :)**


	13. Deep in the Heart of Texas

**Austin, Texas**

It had been a week and Sue Ellen was still receiving flowers, she liked all of the attention. Even if she didn't have a solid plan to actually respond to the notes that went with the flowers, she still delighted in the fact that someone was thinking about her, it made it extra exciting that the person sending the flowers was Mr JR Ewing. Sue Ellen returned from her first Miss Texas duty, a ribbon cutting ceremony at a new children's playground on the other side of Austin. She had been given the schedule of upcoming events and realised that the coming months were going to be extremely busy. Wanting to avoid the disastrous state her relationship ended up in the last time she got busy with obligatory events, Sue Ellen realised that she would have to very carefully schedule time for class, cheerleading, modelling assignments, social events and personal events. She enjoyed every one of these parts of her life, but didn't want to be overwhelmed in one area resulting in her neglecting another. This afternoon she had no classes, but there was a fraternity party tonight, Paula had convinced her to go to because she had missed the last three. Deciding to spend the afternoon with Clint and maybe convince him to come with her to the party, she arrived at the sorority house to change clothes before seeing Clint.

As she walked in the door, four of her sorority sisters ran up to her talking a mile a minute, they were excited, but Sue Ellen couldn't quite understand why. Pulling her into the common room, she was speechless; flowers filled the room, on every flat surface was a vase of flowers. She walked around the room admiring each bouquet, no longer just yellow roses, there were many different varieties of flowers in a rainbow of colours. The other girls followed her around the room as she stopped to appreciate each bouquet, "there has been a parade of delivery men arriving all morning, somebody likes you, a lot" spoke Charlotte. "This also arrived, but it's wrapped, so we don't know what's in it", she handed Sue Ellen a small pink box tied with a white ribbon, "open it, please, everyone is dying to know. You've been gone all morning; almost everyone in this house has seen the flowers. I'm surprised you didn't know, a lot of the girls in my English class this morning asked me about it, word spreads fast around here".

Sue Ellen started to untie the ribbon and replied to the girls questions, "oh, I've been away from campus, I was at a ribbon cutting ceremony this morning", the bow came undone and she opened the box. There was a tiny card on top of whatever was in the box and she picked it up, "Darlin' the yellow roses didn't seem quite enough, time for a new song, 'Deep in the Heart of Texas', or more appropriately, 'Deep in the Heart of JR Ewing', corny yes, but how I feel? Absolutely. I'd like to show you, if you'll let me. Have dinner with me, this Saturday. RSVP yes or no and I'll take care of the rest. –JR Ewing", her emotions were all over the place right now and as she looked into the box it only confused her more. She slid the gift through her hand, a beautiful silver necklace in the shape of the state of Texas, with a heart cutout on the right hand side, where Dallas would be on a map. It was a little clichéd, but he had admitted it was corny and he'd still done it, so she thought it was very sweet. It was working, she wanted to go to dinner with him, no man had ever pursued her this strongly and she was enjoying the attention. "What does the note say? That's a pretty necklace, who sent it?" the other girls were curious about the grand romantic gesture but Sue Ellen wasn't sure she wanted to share the whole story with everyone, especially knowing that it would spread around campus in a minute. "They're from someone very special, that's all I'm saying. Share the flowers around if you'd like, there are more than I could ever know what to do with and there are a lot more where those came from" she smiled to herself and started to walk upstairs leaving the other girls chattering in the room, now more curious than ever.

Changing clothes and putting on the necklace, she started to think about her plans for the afternoon; Clint would be annoyed if she said anything complimenting JR's efforts, but would be upset if she neglected to mention it. He was also a student and would definitely hear about it eventually, so even trying to pretend it didn't happen would mean trouble in their relationship. She didn't want to RSVP no to the invitation, but also didn't want to hurt her boyfriend. Fiancé, not boyfriend, she scolded herself for subconsciously downgrading their relationship status, they were engaged, there was supposed to be an unspoken level of commitment that came with that, and here she was lusting after another man. This was all so confusing, any way she approached the subject would be met with hostility.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR sat in his office, not expecting her to call, but hoping she would. The flowers were romantic, but the necklace is what he hoped to hook her with. All he needed was for her to say yes, an in person meeting would give him the perfect opportunity to persuade her that he was serious about his intentions. He could have just used the usual chase and conquer plan, but this girl was special and for some reason that plan didn't seem to be worthy of her. He had had feelings for women before, but never anything this strong. He was determined to have her and if that meant laying out his feelings then so be it. He'd seen the look in her eyes, there was no way that this was a one-way thing, whatever had happened that night had happened to both of them, she was just having an easier time controlling herself. Or was she?

"JR?" Jock knocked on the door and entered, "have you finished reading over those reports? We need to make a decision by the end of the day", truthfully JR hadn't even begun, he'd been staring out the window thinking about Sue Ellen and lost track of time, "er, yes daddy, I'll be finished soon. Give me an hour and I'll meet you in your office". Jock left the room and wondered what was wrong with his son, he was never this distracted, something or someone must be heavily weighing on his mind.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen and Clint walked through the grounds of the UMLAUF Sculpture Garden, it was a nice, quiet walk and the two of them often went there when they wanted a romantic afternoon out but didn't want to spend much money. Neither had a lot of extra money but neither cared, experiences like this didn't need to be expensive to be appreciated. Hand in hand they silently walked, occasionally speaking about random things but mostly just enjoying the feeling of being there together. Clint had heard about the flowers but hoped Sue Ellen would bring it up on her own, he wasn't happy about it but he didn't want to come off as accusing her of anything when there may not be anything there. The way they were right now it was as if she wasn't even concerned about the other man vying for her affections and that worried him, was she a really unconcerned or was she just a good liar? "Sue Ellen? Please don't be mad at me for asking, but…" he began to speak but she interrupted him, "you heard about the flowers didn't you?" She had been waiting all afternoon to tell him, flip-flopping back and forth in her mind about whether he needed to know or not, now realising that it was stupid to think that he hadn't heard anything or would just ignore it.

"Yes, I did. I don't want to accuse you of anything and have you mad at me, but I'd also like an explanation of what you intend to do about the obvious strain on our relationship. You're my wife-to-be and another man is sending you flowers and gifts, flirting with you openly, and you're letting him. You can't expect me to stand by and do nothing can you?" she listened to what he was saying and agreed, they were engaged and that was meant to mean a certain type of commitment, but she was letting someone else interfere with their relationship. She wanted to agree to call JR and tell him to leave her alone, but she also didn't want to, because inside her, she knew that she wanted JR just as much as he wanted her. "I agree, but hear me out ok? JR has invited me to dinner on Saturday night, I know we agreed no more random dinners with other men, but I have a strong feeling that JR Ewing always gets what he wants and won't be deterred a declined dinner invitation. I think I should go to dinner, listen to what he wants and then politely tell him that I'm not interested" she added the final part as a courtesy to Clint, but knew that it wasn't true, she was interested, very interested. "Sue Ellen" he was getting annoyed, it was obvious that she wanted to go to dinner because she was interested in him and she was trying to hide that behind JR's own motives. "I don't think that's a good idea, if the man can't take no for an answer then that's his problem, not yours, but I will not have you going to dinner with another man just because you don't want to hurt his feelings. How would you feel if I went to dinner with some woman with the intent to tell her that I didn't want to have dinner with her? You realise how dumb that would be don't you? No one accepts an invitation just to tell the person at the event that they don't want to be there". He was making sense, but she didn't want to hear sense, she wanted to justify her own selfish motives, she was curious about just how far JR Ewing would go to get her, never mind how the man she was actually with felt about it. "I'm sorry; I understand what you're saying. I won't go" she conceded to Clint's wishes. He kissed her lightly, "thank you. I know that was hard for you, but soon we'll be married and people will stop interfering in our relationship".

They continued walking through the gardens and Sue Ellen asked Clint to go to the party with her. She had been missing so many social events lately and had specifically asked him to join her for this one, he didn't usually like wild parties like the fraternities threw, if he'd wanted to live his college years like that, then he would have joined one himself, but for her sake he agreed.

To be continued…


	14. The Party

**Austin, Texas**

Borrowing a dress from Paula, Sue Ellen prepared for the party. She hadn't called JR yet, she'd been avoiding it because of her own personal feelings about the finality of saying no. She wanted to say yes, really only agreeing to turn down the invitation because Clint had made her feel guilty. It was weighing on her mind but she chose to try to ignore the feeling and pretend to be happy tonight. "Sue Ellen?" Paula waved a hand in front of her face, she knew that Sue Ellen was distracted by something; she just wasn't sure what it was. Sue Ellen hadn't mentioned the conversation with Clint when she'd returned to college, as far as Paula knew Sue Ellen received an massive amount of flowers and a necklace from her admirer, JR Ewing this morning and then had left the house. Sue Ellen hadn't wanted to talk when she returned and Paula had let the subject slide. "Sorry, I'm ready. Let's go". A large group of the girls from her sorority walked over to a neighbouring fraternity house and entered the party.

They may have had strict rules in their sorority house, but the fraternities on campus lived by a completely different set of rules, there were no boundaries and the party was already in full swing. Letting go of her concerns for now she went to get a drink with her friends. Clint arrived a short time later, got a drink and went to find Sue Ellen; he found her sitting with a few other girls and some guys from the football team. He'd learned a long time ago that football players felt entitled to flirt with cheerleaders, even ones that were taken and he'd given up on asking her to not flirt back. Just because he didn't say much, didn't mean that he wasn't bothered by it though, it was just something that would happen and there was nothing he could do about it. She would switch personality when she was with this group of people. Walking up to the group and pulling her upwards, he kissed her; she was surprised by his public display of affection, but didn't at all mind. "Hi" he whispered "hi yourself" she smiled and pulled him toward the dancefloor. After dancing for five songs, they went to get another drink.

As the night progressed, people started to get more and more intoxicated, Sue Ellen and Clint were no exception. She didn't usually drink but tonight she just wanted to let go of her problems and enjoy life, drinking seemed like the answer. Clint had joined her and they were having a good time dancing and having fun, she had no idea what she was drinking, but it tasted good. They went to sit down for a little while to cool down from dancing, finding a corner of the room with a free chair, Clint sat down and Sue Ellen straddled his lap. The music and atmosphere combined with their alcohol consumption had caused them to soon lose their inhibitions and the feelings of want were heightened. The two began to kiss passionately and she did not object to his hands roaming her body, seizing the opportunity he whispered, "why don't we take this somewhere more private?" instead of responding with words, she kissed him again and pulled him up and out of the house. There were taxis waiting, the drivers knew the deal, college students would be coming out all night looking for rides and they were guaranteed jobs. Still holding her hand, he took the lead, telling the driver his address and they soon arrived back at his apartment.

Entering the apartment, he closed the door and pushed her back against it. He felt around for a zipper or buttons on her dress as she unbuttoned his shirt and unzipped his pants. He guided her to the bedroom as they continued to kiss and touch, he'd waited over a year for this night, she had some personal rules about things like this, but tonight she was a completely willing participant. He was too drunk to think or care about her state of mind, she was smaller than he was and had started drinking before him, she was probably more intoxicated, but neither was thinking about that right now.

Removing her dress and kicking off her shoes, she was left standing in her underwear; he stepped out of his pants, his shirt laying somewhere on the ground in the living room, he lay her on the bed. Something shiny caught his eye, it was her necklace, a small silver pendant in the shape of Texas, with a heart cut out, she had a wide range of jewellery, but he'd never seen this necklace before. "Nice necklace" he continued to kiss her as he made the observational comment, "oh thanks, it was a gift from JR" she hadn't realised what she'd let slip until he stopped kissing her and sat up, "you're wearing a gift from that man, to a party you invited me to after you told me you'd turn down his invitation. Unbelievable. I'd be willing to bet that you still didn't call him either did you?" She was quickly sobering with his tone of voice and realised how vulnerable she was at that moment. She was in her underwear; almost about to do something that she promised herself she would wait for. "I'll take that silence as a no", his tone was angry, like she had betrayed him. She moved to stand up but felt herself pinned underneath him, a position she had willingly put herself in. He spoke again "you made me wait a year to get to this point. I bet JR Ewing wouldn't have to wait a year, he'd have you in bed by the second date" his voice was bitter and she was starting to panic, she was disoriented from the alcohol but alert enough to know exactly how little power she held right now. "Please Clint, I'm sorry, I just thought it was a nice necklace, I didn't mean anything by it. You know that I'm committed to you. I'll leave now and we can talk about it tomorrow" she tried to move again but this time he held her even tighter, moving toward her face he spoke again "no, you're not going anywhere, you're going to give me exactly what we came here for. Exactly what JR Ewing would get if I were him". Holding her arms down, he kissed her hard, not with the loving passion they'd had before, this was resentful and full of frustration. She was incredibly scared, she did not want this and absolutely didn't want it this way; gathering all her strength she maneuvered her knee and kicked as hard as she could. He let go of her in reaction to the pain and she took the opportunity, sliding herself out from underneath his grip and gathering her dress and shoes from the floor. She then realised that his apartment was on a side street, not close to the main road, she couldn't run and easily get a taxi and she was in her underwear.

She ran toward the bathroom and locked the door behind her, feeling safe for a minute. Dressing quickly she realised the severity of the situation; she was scared of what he would do when he recovered from the pain. Tears formed in her eyes and she tried to hold back, but she couldn't. Her cheeks wet and knees weak, she slid toward the ground and cried. Clint was lying on the bed in pain, he couldn't believe what she had done, but then he realised that she had only reacted that way because he had been so forceful and angry. Cursing himself, he heard her crying in the bathroom. He immediately regretted everything, but the damage was done. He may have ruined the trust in the relationship forever.

"Sue Ellen?" he knocked on the door quietly, he'd managed to calm himself down and wanted to help her see that he hadn't intended for things to go so badly wrong. Knocking again, he realised that she was scared, scared that if she opened the door, he would continue his plan and succeed. "Sweetheart, I'm going to call you a cab, just like you wanted. I know you don't trust me right now, but I realise how wrong I was and I'm truly sorry. Please, just open the door". She was sitting the furthest away from the door as she could get, shaking as she cried. She just wanted to leave, but knew that if he did call her that cab, she'd have to open the door to leave. "Thank you, I'll just wait in here until the taxi arrives" she managed to say, her voice shaken and afraid. "Ok, whatever you want. I can even ask for a female driver if you'd feel more comfortable", she didn't respond but he decided to do that anyway.

Half an hour later there was a knock at the door, he'd asked for the driver to come up to announce themselves because he wasn't sure he'd be able to get her out of the bathroom if he didn't. She cautiously opened the door, not looking at Clint, and hurried out of the apartment. Arriving back at the sorority house she realised she had no money but the driver said that Clint had pre-paid. Walking into her bedroom, she changed into a nightgown and cried herself to sleep.

To be continued…


	15. The Response

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen woke up with a dry mouth and pounding headache. As she moved to get a glass of water, she wondered why her wrists were so sore. It all came flooding back to her as she saw her dress and shoes discarded on the floor next to the bed and tears began to form again, how could Clint do that to her? How could she have let herself get into that situation in the first place? Noticing Paula still sleeping, she gathered her things and quietly walked down the hall to shower and get ready for the day.

She walked back into the room and was surprised to see Paula awake now; attempting to hide her emotions, Sue Ellen greeted her friend. "Good morning", Paula looked at her as if she were crazy, "what's wrong? You were at the same party, you were also drinking and you were knocked out when I arrived back. There is no way you feel 'good' this morning. What are you hiding with the fake attitude?" Sue Ellen silently cursed how well her friend knew her but tried to stay calm, she was ashamed of what had happened last night and didn't want everyone to know. "Oh, I was just trying to give off positive vibes, you know the thing, positive thoughts equal positive results" she lied and Paula could tell that something was very wrong. "Ok, now you're scaring me. What happened between yesterday morning and now? Because you were even acting strange after you came back yesterday afternoon" Sue Ellen felt the need to tell someone and Paula was her friend, she started to tell her the whole story. Clint's reaction to the dinner invitation, his insistence that she decline, how they'd been enjoying the party together, their mutual drunkenness and how it led them back to his apartment. She paused before she told her the final part of the night, "Sue Ellen, you look frightened and that's scaring me. What happened when you got to his apartment?" Taking a deep breath and fighting back tears Sue Ellen explained exactly what had happened. "I blame myself for wearing the stupid necklace, but I blame him for everything else. If I hadn't kicked him then I just know he wouldn't have stopped, his eyes were full of rage. He would have…" she broke down and cried. Moving to hug her friend, Paula was angry, angry with Clint and angry with JR for being so insistent, he knew that she had a boyfriend and he knew Texas men but he still pursued her. She realised that it wasn't JR's fault, he had just done what any interested, determined man would do, he wasn't even in the same city as them. "Shhh, it's ok, it's ok, you're safe now", she stroked Sue Ellen's hair and motioned for her to lie down; she looked exhausted and was in no emotional state to go anywhere right now. There was a knock at the door, Paula went to answer it and was face to face with Patricia Shepard, the last person Sue Ellen needed to see right now.

"Oh hello Mrs Shepard, Sue Ellen is sleeping right now, maybe you should come back later", she tried to discourage her from entering the room but wasn't successful, "no daughter of mine sleeps past 9am, it is now 10.30am and she's still in bed? I'll have a word with her" she pushed past Paula as she entered the room. There was an audible gasp as she saw the emotional state Sue Ellen was in, she'd expected to find her daughter sleeping, not crying into her pillow. "Sue Ellen dear, what is the matter?" Sue Ellen didn't respond, instead just turning over and facing away from her mother, she couldn't deal with whatever comment she was about to make. "Mrs Shepard, I think it would be best if you came back later. Sue Ellen's just a little upset right now, nothing for you to worry about though" Paula was trying her best to get rid of Patricia, she was exactly the opposite of what she needed right now. "Sue Ellen, you look awful. Get out of bed and clean yourself up, we're having lunch at noon if you'd forgotten. I'll see you then" she spoke and exited the room, whatever drama Sue Ellen was dealing with would have to wait, they were not going to spend all day dealing with her issues. "Sue Ellen, I'm sorry, she just pushed past me", Paula was not fond of Patricia Shepard and her uncaring attitude, "its ok, she's right, I did forget about lunch. I'd better clean myself up and go". She did what she had done so many times in her life, put on a public face and buried her inner emotions.

Arriving at her mother's house, she greeted her and started to help prepare lunch, "Sue Ellen, I don't know what that little outburst was this morning, but I'm glad to see you've recovered. Now, the reason I called you to have lunch today was to discuss your future", Sue Ellen wasn't at all concerned with the conversation her mother was initiating, she had other things on her mind at the moment. "Sue Ellen? Are you listening to me?" something was distracting her daughter but that wasn't important right now, "yes mama. Go ahead, what was it that you were saying?" the two sat down at the table and began to eat. "Well, I saw the communication between you and Mr Ewing on the night of the pageant and I assumed that there was something there, but it's been a week and a half and you haven't mentioned anything. Billy called me yesterday to inquire about your availability, it appears he also thought Mr Ewing was the one you were interested in, but I assured him that I hadn't heard anything. Now, what I'd like to know is what you intend to do from now on? If you're not interested in Mr Ewing then Billy Frampton is interested and I am completely supportive of that. I tried to respect your wishes and not set up any more meetings for you, but you have to help yourself too" she finished speaking and Sue Ellen felt guilty again. She wanted to say yes to JR the minute he'd sent her the first bunch of roses, but somewhere in the whole situation she'd ended up being influenced into saying no. She hadn't actually turned down his offer yet though.

"Oh, well Mr Ewing has been sending me flowers every day and actually did invite me to have dinner with him this Saturday. I just haven't responded yet" she prepared for the inevitable speech, "excuse me? Why not? A wealthy man asks you to dinner and you take your time deciding when to respond? That is not proper. Are you trying to throw your life away?" Patricia got up from the table and picked up the telephone. "What was the number? You're going to RSVP now," she instructed her daughter and Sue Ellen knew better than to argue, not that she really wanted to argue, her mother was just pushing her back into her original intention. She opened her purse and removed the small card, dialling the number she waited. "Good afternoon, Ewing Oil, how may I direct your call today?" a female voice answered, "hello, I'd like to speak to Mr Ewing please" Patricia was standing close to Sue Ellen, making sure she behaved correctly. "Which Mr Ewing would that be? Jock Ewing or JR Ewing?" Sue Ellen had forgotten that JR worked with his daddy "oh, Mr JR Ewing please", "one moment, who may I say is calling?" "Sue Ellen Shepard". She waited as her call was put on hold and her stomach started to flip-flop with nerves.

"Hello darlin'" were the words that greeted her and she immediately felt better, she was still nervous, but it was a good nervous. "Good afternoon Mr Ewing" she was trying to stay proper, her mother was hovering around listening to every word, "thank you for the flowers and the necklace, they are lovely". JR smiled to himself, she was nervous and he was the one making her nervous, this was definitely not a one-way attraction, "I'm glad you liked them, and please, call me JR", she smiled to herself and then remembered why she called, "well thank you JR. The reason I called was to respond to your dinner invitation", he grinned to himself, women were not all the same, but they also weren't all completely different, gifts, flattery and perseverance could get a man a long way. "I hope that by 'respond', you mean say yes darlin'. You won't regret it, I promise", she'd already planned on saying yes, but his words had put her mind at ease, "yes, I'd love to have dinner with you on Saturday". He knew his plan would work and was thrilled when she finally responded to his efforts, "wonderful, now don't worry about a thing, let ole JR take care of everything. I'll pick you up at 7.30pm on Saturday, would you like me to pick you up at your sorority house or your mother's house?" She was surprised that he knew she split her time between the two, but then realised he must have had some kind of information about her to know where to send the flowers in the first place, "my mother's house will be fine, I suppose the great JR Ewing already knows the address?" she joked. "As a matter of fact, I do, that's something you will learn, the great JR Ewing has ways of knowing," he laughed at her joke and continued the conversation. Hearing a knock at the door, he finished their conversation, "darlin' I'm sorry, I have to go now, but I'll see you on Saturday night" she was a little sad that they couldn't talk for longer, but her mother was standing right there, so it wasn't as if they were going to get into any deep conversation anyway. "I look forward to it, goodbye JR", "goodbye Sue Ellen", they both hung up and smiled to themselves, each very much looking forward to Saturday. "See, was that so bad?" the sound of her mother's voice brought her out of her reflective thoughts, "no mama" secretly a lot happier than she was letting on, she didn't want her mother to completely think she'd won.

Arriving back at college she entered her room much happier than she had been when she'd left, she still hadn't settled things with Clint, but right now she didn't care. Paula noticed the change in attitude and wondered what had happened; she never usually came back from lunch with her mother this happy. "Something you want to tell me?" she prompted, "mmm why do you ask?" "Well, you were in tears this morning and now you look like a lovesick girl again. Something happened, now spill" Sue Ellen was indeed happy and it obviously showed, she started to explain, "JR's picking me up at 7.30 on Saturday…" The two girls spend the rest of the afternoon giggling about Sue Ellen's new situation and ignoring her present relationship, she could deal with the negative later, right now was time for happy thoughts.

To be continued…


	16. Closure

**Austin, Texas**

Clint waited a few days before trying to call Sue Ellen, he wanted to let her calm down before he attempted to apologise for his actions. He'd called the sorority house three times today and had been told either she wasn't there or that she didn't want to speak to him. He really did want to apologise for the way he acted, he'd gotten jealous and angry and his drunkenness had not helped the situation, he trusted that she would call JR and turn down his invitation, she'd told him that she would. Arriving at the sorority house he waited outside, she had cheerleading practice this afternoon and would be returning soon.

She spotted him sitting outside the front door, she had been happy; daydreaming about JR, but her happiness was cut short when she saw Clint. She was still mad at him and was not in the mood to hear an apology. She thought about avoiding the front entrance and climbing in a window, but he'd already spotted her walking toward the house. "Sue Ellen!" he could see her mind working, she was avoiding him, he got up from the doorstep and walked toward her, "Sue Ellen, please just listen to what I have to say". She couldn't even look him in the eye, just his presence was making her uncomfortable, "please Clint, I'm not ready to talk, please just leave me alone" she started to walk back toward the house, hoping to get inside before he could follow her, "Sue Ellen!" he was getting desperate, he didn't want to lose her, not now. Before he could think about his actions, he reached out and grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him, "LET GO OF ME" she screamed, their conversation now being observed by a few bystanders, he let go of her hand and she ran into the house. She was shaken, she knew that Clint wouldn't hurt her out there, but she couldn't stop herself from reacting, it was too soon. Doing the first thing that popped into her mind, she opened her jewellery box and found the ring. She wrote a small note to go with the ring and placed it on her dresser; she would have Paula give the ring back to Clint, she really couldn't deal with this right now.

**Dallas, Texas**

"Grandma…" Miss Ellie's ears perked at the whining tone in her granddaughters voice, "yes Lucy?" "grandma, I'm bored. There's nothing to do around here and I have no one to play with". Miss Ellie sympathised with her granddaughter, Southfork was rather lonely these days, JR and Jock worked a lot, Bobby only occasionally came home from college and Gary, well she wished she knew where Gary was, but he didn't seem to want to be found. "Nothing to do? Lucy dear, there are a lot of things to do, you and I could go swimming, or play with your dolls, or we could go down to the stables and visit the horses…" she was interrupted, "no grandma, we always do those things. I like those things, but I want to do other things, like play dress up or hide-and-seek, those things aren't as fun with only two people" she sulked and Miss Ellie wondered how long her granddaughter had been feeling this way. It had been so different when her sons were young, JR was always with Jock, and Bobby had many friends he would play with or would spend time with Gary out at the treehouse. Then the boys had seasonal hunting trips with Jock and they'd all go and do whatever it was that men did on those trips. Jock loved his granddaughter, but he was a traditional man and he was a busy man, there was no way he would take Lucy hunting or do some other activity with her. "Ok dear, what would you like to do? We could call one of your friends and ask if they'd like to come over and play?" Lucy was quick to answer, "well grandma, I would like that, but Muriel is visiting her aunt in San Antonio and everyone else already has plans. No grandma, I know what I want even more than a friend…" Miss Ellie was confused, Lucy had friends and a whole ranch to play on, but she was complaining about being bored, what more could she want? "Grandma, I want a little brother or sister, someone I can play with and they won't have to leave at the end of the day", she sounded so sure of herself, as if she were certain that her asking would bring her the permanent playmate she wanted. Miss Ellie laughed to herself, Lucy was just a young girl, not yet wise of the ways of the world, unaware of the other things that came with a baby and that it wasn't as easy as asking for a new toy. Lucy had been spoiled from the moment she came back to Southfork, the family subconsciously trying to make up for the unfortunate circumstances surrounding her parents and her early life. She was used to asking her granddaddy, grandma or even uncle JR for things and one of them giving in to her. "Well grandma? Can I have one?" Miss Ellie was brought back to the present, "oh Lucy, well unfortunately I can't bring you a little brother or sister, but maybe if you ask your uncle JR nicely, he'll have an answer for you. Just between you and me, I'd like another little baby around here too", "ok grandma, maybe we can just go and see the horses today instead?" she pulled Miss Ellie out the door and ran off toward the stables.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen sat at her desk, she was trying to write an essay but couldn't focus, maybe she did need to speak to Clint. After another 15 minutes of staring at a blank page, she gave up. She picked up the ring box and her purse and left, determined to find Clint. She made her way to the engineering library and spotted Clint sitting at a table making notes from a textbook, she quietly congratulated herself for knowing where he'd be without looking at his class schedule. Silently sitting across from him she whispered, "I'm ready to talk now, but please, let me speak first. Can we go outside?" he was surprised to see her there and got a bad feeling when she asked to speak first. Packing up his books, they left the library in silence.

"Clint, I think we should talk. The other night, you frightened me, not just in the moment, but afterward. It was as if I was seeing you as a different person and I'm not sure I like that person. Were those your true feelings? Do you really just see me as an object? Something you can have just because someone else wants me. What was happening between us was good, it was mutual and we were both enjoying it, but then everything changed. You let your jealousy get in the way of our relationship and couldn't think of anything else. You scared me and you could see that I was scared but you didn't do anything about it, I asked you to stop and you didn't. Without my own strength, you would have completely ignored my wishes and I'm not sure I can forgive you of that. It's not even just about the physical act, it's about how you made me feel. That's why I think that maybe you and I should take a break, I can't do this right now" she handed the ring box back to him and continued, "I'm not saying we're over forever, but for now I know I can't wear this, I can't be your fiancée". She had tears in her eyes, it was painful to relive the memories and painful to think about them in the past tense, she did love Clint, but she couldn't be with him right now. "I feel the need to tell you this so that you don't hear it from someone else. I've agreed to go to dinner with JR on Saturday and I want you to know that it wasn't dependent on our situation. I would have agreed to it anyway, my mother is involved now and that means that I lose a lot of decision-making power. I have to retain some of me before I become a puppet, only doing what everyone else wants me to. I said yes to JR because I wanted to. I still care about you, but right now, I can't do this, I can't be with you. I'm sorry, that's just how it is".

Clint was shocked, he'd expected her to be mad, he could understand why she was mad, but she'd just broken their engagement. He was losing her and she hadn't even been on a date with JR yet. He'd seen the looks the two were giving each other when they'd spoken and he'd seen the effort JR had put in to get Sue Ellen to even consider him as a potential suitor. If she was considering going back to Clint at some point in the future, that would all be lost after her date on Saturday. "I… I don't know what to say, other than I really am sorry. I'm sorry for how I acted and how I made you feel, and I'm sorry that we can't make this work. However, I understand what you're saying and I respect it. You know the saying 'If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were', I'm setting you free and hoping that one day we'll be able to move on from our problems. I love you and I always will". He reached out and wiped the tears from her cheeks, this time she didn't flinch at his touch, instead reaching up and cupping his cheek. "Goodbye Clint" she kissed him on the cheek and turned, "goodbye Sue Ellen" he whispered as she slowly walked away, leaving him standing on the grass with an engagement ring in his hand and an emptiness in his heart.

To be continued…


	17. First Date

**Dallas, Texas**

JR spent the morning making sure everything was perfect for their date tonight; he didn't want anything to go wrong and her to decide that she didn't want to go on a second date with him. He had only met her once, but the minute he laid eyes on her, he knew he would have her, not only in his bed, but also in his life. He wanted Sue Ellen and he would fight for her, but it would make things a lot easier if she came willingly, no fighting, just choice. At 5.30pm he left Southfork and drove toward the airfield, boarding the Ewing jet he arrived in Austin at 6.50pm, the nights timing was perfect so far, he just had to make sure everything else went to plan.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen's stomach was full of butterflies as she spent the late afternoon preparing for her date with JR. Having only met him once, she knew the physical attraction was there, the flowers and sweet notes he'd been sending her for over a week made her emotional attraction to him even stronger. She'd seen a hint of mischievousness in his eyes the night they'd met and knew that there was whole lot more to him than the sweet notes and a handsome face, she was looking forward to discovering just what that 'something more' was. Patricia walked into her bedroom and inspected her daughter's appearance, "your hair is looking a little flat, I'll make an appointment at the beauty parlour for you next week. Now remember your manners and what behaviours are appropriate for a lady and make sure you do not mention that placeholder you call a boyfriend, men do not want to be reminded of their competition. Especially when someone like JR Ewing could crush that Clint Ogden boy you like to spend time with". Sue Ellen had forgotten that her mother didn't know about her breakup, she contemplated not mentioning it, but then realised her mother would lay off her for a while if she knew that she didn't have to work at breaking them up, "oh mama, Clint is a nice man I wish you'd have given him a chance. But I expect you'll be pleased to know that we're no longer seeing each other". Patricia's face lit up and confirmed Sue Ellen's thoughts, "I'm not even going to ask, but you're right, I am pleased". At that moment Kristin ran into the room, "mama, there's a limo outside, Sue Ellen please don't mess this one up, I'd like to ride in a limousine one day", Sue Ellen laughed at Kristin's opportunistic attitude; she was already so much like Patricia and she still had a lot to learn.

Patricia opened the door, "good evening Mr Ewing, please come in", JR stepped inside the house and was speechless when he saw Sue Ellen, she was even more beautiful than he remembered and she looked so elegant tonight. Sue Ellen's heart started beating faster as her mother invited JR inside and he looked her up and down, she hoped he approved of her appearance. "Sue Ellen, darlin', you look stunning" he kissed her cheek and handed her a bouquet of yellow roses, she had quickly come to associate yellow roses with JR, she couldn't believe that they already had a 'thing' and this was only their first date. After a little small talk and a promise to have Sue Ellen back by midnight, they left. JR placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her toward the waiting limousine.

Sue Ellen was nervous, she had been on many dates with wealthy men, but never with one that she liked as much as JR Ewing, she felt herself get quiet, fearful that she would say something stupid and he would lose interest. JR was nervous but more afraid that she wouldn't enjoy herself, he could tell that Sue Ellen was very tense, "champagne?" he poured two glasses and handed one to her, hoping to break the awkwardness between them and spark the magic that he knew was there. He smiled at her as he handed her the glass and she decided that she was being silly worrying so much, pushing her anxieties out of her mind, she accepted the drink and turned on her charming, ladylike personality. The limo came to a stop and she was surprised, for some reason she had expected them to be going further, "first stop in a line of exciting events for the night" he whispered in her ear, almost as if he'd read her mind. The sound of his voice combined with the closeness of his face and the words he spoke sent shivers down her spine. They entered the historic Driskill Hotel and she was confused and slightly disappointed, somehow she had expected more, she'd been here before with two different dates. Maybe JR Ewing was good at the little gifts, but the actual date wasn't his strong suit. "I told you, first stop of the night, not the destination, patience is a virtue you know", he'd noticed her facial expression and decided that he needed to reassure her that he wasn't just any man, he was JR Ewing and he was anything but ordinary. She laughed and realised that she needed to keep an open mind; after all, he was JR Ewing.

Entering the hotel, she expected to walk toward the Driskill Grill, the hotels five star restaurant, where she assumed they were having dinner. Instead, he guided her in a different direction, upstairs toward double doors with the words 'Maximilian Room' printed on a gold plaque above the doorframe. As they entered the room she looked around, there was a table set for a romantic dinner, a dance floor and a string quartet, they were the only guests in the room big enough to hold hundreds, but despite the size of the room, it was perfect and intimate. "Oh JR" she gasped while taking in the surroundings, "it's not too much is it? I wanted to make an impression", he took hold of her hand and invited her to dance, "no, it's perfect" she sighed contently at the date so far. As they danced she felt her emotions welling up inside her, she was so happy right now and began to think, if this was what a first date with JR Ewing was like, she couldn't wait to see his idea of a second, third or fourth date, there was so much to look forward to. JR smiled to himself, things were going wonderfully so far, he'd been right, there was a strong mutual attraction between the two and he couldn't wait to get to know her better. This was different to other dates, the end goal wasn't to just get her into bed, he wanted more, he wanted a life to share.

They continued to dance and then sat down to dinner, their waiter served them and the sommelier informed them of the wine selections and recommendations. Through dinner they spoke comfortably and candidly, first about their families and work and then about their lives and what they wanted. Sue Ellen spoke about happiness as her goal, but that her mother had other ideas, she hadn't intended to be so honest about her mother's intentions, but for some reason, JR was easy to talk to. JR spoke about happiness and family expectations in much the same way Sue Ellen did. His father had a goal and didn't really care too much about how it was achieved, he talked about not wanting to settle down with any random lady just to make his father happy, he didn't want his son to grow up in an unloving home. Something in his words struck Sue Ellen, they had similar perspectives on their childhoods, there was a continual need to please a parent, but constantly falling short, never quite doing enough or being good enough to get the praise they so desperately wanted. As they ate, she felt their connection growing stronger, it was only their first date, but already she felt so close to him. JR had the same thoughts and feelings, this girl was a not only a good listener, but also had an empathetic understanding of his problems. They may not be the same, but there was an understanding between the two that he'd never felt with anyone else, he could really see this relationship going somewhere.

"On a lighter note, there is a question I have to ask you. Your answer will decide whether there will be a second date or not", his sentence sounded serious, but his tone of voice was joking, she wasn't sure what to expect, "I guess I'd better get it right then. Go ahead Mr Ewing, ask your important question", she played along with his light-hearted tone. "How do you feel about chili?" he asked her completely straight-faced and serious, she was taken aback, that was definitely not what she expected. "Chili? Like the food?" she sounded surprised and he laughed, "yes, the food. What's your opinion on chili?", she didn't even need time to think, just speaking whatever came into her mind "well I am a native Texan and there are a few things that Texans do well, dance, barbecue, football, and live music to name a few. Chili is one of those things; it would be almost offensive for a real Texan to say they don't like chili. I hope that's a satisfactory answer" she smirked. She had no idea what the purpose of his question was, but it obviously made him very happy. "I absolutely agree" he replied, offering no further explanation to his point, he stood up and held out his hand. She realised that part of his mystery was asking questions with no intention to give a comprehensive reason for why he was asking, pushing away the confusion she took his hand and he led them back to the dance floor.

After dancing for a while, he suggested that they move on to part two of the evening, "I told you this wasn't the only event of the night", she laughed at his comment and held onto his hand as he led them out of the hotel and back into the limo.

To be continued…


	18. End of the Night

**Austin, Texas**

Sitting closer together than they had the first time Sue Ellen considered the date so far, she had been very wrong when she thought that JR Ewing wasn't a good date planner, she was having a wonderful time and didn't want the night to end. Realising that she had a curfew she asked him what the time was, "it's only 10.45pm, don't worry, I'll have you home on time, a real gentleman is always respectful of a lady's time commitments", she was glad, they had a whole hour and fifteen minutes left together. They were driving for a while, the windows of the limo were tinted and it was dark outside so it was difficult for her to guess where they were heading. "JR?", "we're almost there" he responded before he even heard her question, it seemed only logical for her to be curious of their destination. A short time later, the limo pulled up to a park next to the Colorado River where a horse and carriage was waiting for the couple. The tour took them on a romantic scenic ride along the river with a view of the Austin skyline as well as the beautiful park they were riding through. JR was happy that it was starting to get a little colder; it gave him the perfect excuse to pull her closer to him under the pretence of 'keeping warm'. When he subtly moved closer to her she felt her heart beat a little faster, she was quickly falling for his charms.

In the limo, they sat in comfortable silence, enjoying the way the date had gone. "So, was my answer correct?" she queried. He was confused, "what answer?" She laughed lightly, "you know, the oh-so-important question about chili you asked me earlier. The one that you asked and gave no explanation for" He remembered and recalled the reason for asking, Sue Ellen was definitely more interesting and a whole lot more appealing than Carol Parker or any of the other boring women he'd dated. "Oh yes, I remember. Yes, your answer was perfect, and you'd already proven yourself as second date material before that point by the way. I just had to make sure that you were also suitable for third, fourth, fifth dates etc. My family throw an annual barbecue and my mama makes the best chili in Texas, I wouldn't want someone who couldn't enjoy my mama's home cooking", she was pleased when he mentioned the probability of subsequent dates and that he was already considering introducing her to his family. They were moving faster than a normal couple, but it didn't scare her, it was flattering that he thought so highly of her.

The limo stopped and she realised they were already back at her house, she was disappointed, the night was going so well and was already almost over. The driver opened the door and JR took Sue Ellen's hand as they walked to her front door, "I had a marvellous time JR" she complimented his planning skills, she had been totally wrong, he was good with gifts and with actual dates. He was pleased to hear that she'd had a good time, he wanted to kiss her, but wasn't sure that he should, a gentleman would never kiss a lady on the first date. She could see his mind working, she wanted him to kiss her, she would have kissed him to make it easier, but that wouldn't be proper. Instead, she just whispered his name and looked into his eyes, "goodnight JR", he looked into her eyes, certain that she was saying a lot more than goodnight but unsure of whether he should act on his assumption, he kissed her cheek, "goodnight Sue Ellen. I'll call you". She was a little disappointed that he'd only kissed her cheek, of course it was nice, but it was more friendly than anything else. He started to turn and realised that they were still holding hands and neither had let go, "Sue Ellen…" she looked up ready to say something but was instead met by his lips upon hers. It was perfect, slow and soft, but full of promise and passion. As quickly as it had happened, it ended and he let go of her hand, "I'll call you", he waited as she entered the house and closed the door.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR sat on the Southfork patio enjoying the lazy Sunday, he wished Sue Ellen was with him right now, but he knew better than to move too fast. "Uncle JR?" the sound of Lucy's small voice brought him out of his thoughts, "yes Lucy?" he had a soft spot for the child when she was sweet like this. He couldn't believe that his brother had been such a coward and left his wife and baby alone, especially when his choice of wife was not suitable for Ewing life. JR had had no choice but to rescue the little baby and bring her back to Southfork, there was no way he was going to let his niece grow up in sub-standard living accommodations because her parents weren't capable of living a normal Ewing life. "Uncle JR, will you go in the swimming pool with me?" he couldn't say no to her sweet face and agreed. They spent the morning in the swimming pool and then she went down to the stables with Jock after lunch.

JR stood on the upstairs balcony and reflected on the conversations Jock had forced him to have in the past few weeks, the demand that he find a wife and produce a son to carry on the family name. He had thought it was pointless and never going to happen after those first few dates, the 'suitable' women of Dallas were lifeless, but that had changed when he'd met Sue Ellen. They'd only been on one date, but already he could see himself making a life with her. Miss Ellie had noticed the changes in her eldest son's attitude over the past few weeks; his daddy had obviously verbally scolded him and he'd begun to make an effort in finding a nice lady to settle down with, but she could tell that he was not happy. She didn't approve of his usual taste in women, but she couldn't deny that they were what made him happy. Somewhere in the last two weeks though, something had changed, she wasn't sure what, but JR was different. She watched him while he was deep in thought, it had to be a woman, his face wasn't showing the usual business success smile, or the indecorous smile he got when surrounded by women of loose morals, no this was something different, this was infatuation, maybe even love.

"JR?" she had walked up to him and broken his thoughts, "hello mama, did you need me to do something?" he greeted her unsure of why she was out here and starting a conversation with him. She didn't usually strike up conversations with JR for the sake of it, he was never her favourite, he'd always known it, even now, the only son living at Southfork, and he still wasn't her favourite. "No, I just wanted to come and see how you were doing, you've been a little withdrawn in the past few weeks", he was surprised, he didn't expect her to actually notice, "I'm fine mama, just fine" his defensive emotional wall had gone up, this conversation wasn't at all expected and he wasn't sure what to make of it. "Oh, ok, well if you ever want to talk, I'm here", he looked up, surprised that she was even offering to listen to his side of anything, usually if something was wrong, it was JR's fault, "mama…" he started to speak but was interrupted. "Mrs Ewing? Mr Bobby is on the phone" Teresa appeared on the balcony and Miss Ellie moved toward the door. JR cut in, angry that she was offering her emotional support now, he was 28 years old and she was offering him emotional support now, and to top it off she had offered to listen and then abandoned his problems at the first thought of one of her other sons. "Mama, I don't know why you're sympathising with me now, thank you, but I've managed to get through the past 28 years without your support. Now, I can see that you have more important things to do so I'll figure my issues out on my own, I always do" he almost shouted at her, but managed to stay at an even tone and volume. He exited the balcony and left Miss Ellie standing alone, considering his words and wondering whether he was right, then realising Bobby was on the phone, she left and went inside, pushing all thoughts of JR out of her mind.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen was on cloud nine as she did her usual Sunday routine, spend time with her mother and sister and then returned to campus to finish any leftover work she had due in the next week. Her thoughts were on her date with JR, she loved just being with him, the way they had talked like they had known each other forever, the way he'd held her when they danced, the way he'd wanted her close to him but was still a gentleman in his actions. She was captivated by his presence and couldn't wait to get to know him, he was a deep man, very layered and complicated, but she already felt close to him.

On Monday morning, she returned from her classes to a new bouquet of flowers and a sweet card thanking her for joining him and promising that he'd call her, she returned to her room and changed, she had Miss Texas duties this afternoon and had to look a little more ladylike and reserved for official duties. Returning late Monday evening Paula informed her that JR had called, but that she had been away, he'd promised to call back. Paula could tell from the look on Sue Ellen's face that she was very much looking forward to their conversation. She was pleased for her friend that she'd managed to find someone who made her so happy, especially so quickly after her last relationship ended.

To be continued…


	19. Surprise Visitor

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen returned from cheerleading practice on Tuesday afternoon and started on her weekly assignments. Fifteen minutes later, she was informed that there was a phone call for her, "hello?" she queried, hoping that it was JR, but it could have been any number of people, "hello darlin'" he replied, happy to finally hear her voice again, "you're not easy to get ahold of you know". She laughed at his remark, "well, I've got to keep you interested somehow, this way gives me a mysterious advantage", he let out a laugh at her joke "mhm, I don't know, a woman who sits by the phone all day waiting for my call does have a certain appeal. But I would rather a woman who is a little mysterious sometimes, gives me something to think about". She smiled at his indication that he'd been thinking about her, especially wondering what she was doing, "well I'll keep that in mind. So, now that we've talked about my day, how was yours?" she wanted to stay talking to him, she enjoyed his conversation even when it was simple like this.

"My day was pretty good, the price of oil has gone up, always good news in the oil industry. Wait, you didn't actually tell me how your day was, don't think you're fooling me. So, how was it?" he really did want to know, he wasn't just asking to be polite. "Sharp mind you've got there, my day was good, very busy, but good. I had class and then I had to cut a ribbon and take photos at some new car dealership across town and then mama called me to help Kristin with her homework after school while she went shopping. Then, I had cheerleading practice and I was just studying when you called, that reminds me, I haven't even eaten dinner yet, another thing I have to squeeze into my schedule". He was overwhelmed just thinking about all the things she was fitting in to her day, he had busy days, but they were usually focused on one or two things, not having to change his personality and acceptable attitude for four different audiences. He wondered how her she ever got time to herself, or how her boyfriend dealt with it. The realisation that she wasn't exactly available was a new thought, he hadn't even considered it earlier, he'd been so focused on getting her to even agree to dinner. Now that he had her interested, he wanted more and her having a boyfriend didn't really factor into it. Funny that she'd never mentioned her boyfriend on their date, he wouldn't be too pleased if he found out about that, JR made a mental note to subtly ask her on their next date.

"My my, Miss Texas is a busy girl, I'd better not keep you then. My reason for calling was to let you know how much I enjoyed our first date and I'd really like the opportunity for a second. You sound busy though, so when is best for you?" Mentally she checked her calendar, tomorrow she had a photoshoot all day, modelling for money was different than the quicker photoshoots she did as Miss Texas. Then all week she had classes and other commitments, there really wasn't a lot of time to herself let alone spend time with JR, she didn't know how Clint put up with her. "Well, I'm pretty busy all week and then Friday is just class and I'm cheering at the home game in the evening, I'd say you could meet me afterwards, but we probably wouldn't get much time alone, so it's probably better to do Saturday if you're free? I have no plans all day or night". He was disappointed that she didn't have any free time earlier, Austin was only a 50 minute flight away, he could easily get there and back. "Oh I don't know, seeing you in a cheerleading uniform does sound pretty appealing," he laughed, "Saturday sounds good, how about we take advantage of your availability and make it a morning date, we'll see where the day takes us". They agreed on their plans and said their goodbyes, both hung up and anticipated the coming weekend. Sue Ellen returned to her room and looked through her cheerleading schedule, they had a game in Dallas in a few weeks, maybe she'd invite JR to come watch.

**Dallas, Texas**

The week had gone by slowly, but it was now Friday afternoon and JR was thinking about his date tomorrow. She had mentioned a football game this evening, but he wasn't sure it would be appropriate for him to surprise her by showing up. They were friendly, but had only been on one date, it wasn't like they had met each other's friends, or even discussed becoming exclusive. Maybe he should go discreetly, watch her and then if the opportunity presented itself he would surprise her, but if it didn't, he'd just see her in the morning. He was going to have to fly to Austin anyway, why not tonight. "Julie, call the airfield and have the Ewing jet ready for an hour from now and book my regular suite at the Driskill Hotel in Austin, I'll be there tonight" he made his plans and drove back to Southfork to pack a small bag.

**Austin, Texas**

Arriving in Austin, JR checked into his hotel, changed clothes and made his way to the University of Texas football stadium. The atmosphere reminded him of when he was in college, he'd had a lot of fun and had continued his way of life after graduation, not that it quite fit with his parents expectations. He hoped that he'd finally found the right woman, Sue Ellen was everything he wanted and everything that his parents expected. Take it slow, he reminded himself; he still couldn't believe that he was even thinking about the future when they'd only been on one date, this was completely new to him.

The atmosphere inside the stadium was electric, home games were always more energetic and helped the cheer squad as well as the football team perform to their best standard. As the cheerleaders ran out onto the field, Sue Ellen was hyped; the sea of orange Longhorns fans was enough to get anyone's energy up but she was also excited about the upcoming weekend, she was in a cheerful, energetic mood. She wished that she had made it clearer that JR could come and see the game if he wanted to, perhaps her wording had been a little off, making him feel unwelcome. JR spotted Sue Ellen as the cheerleaders ran out onto the field; she looked good in her uniform, he would have preferred a shorter skirt for his own private viewing, though in public, the knee-length skirt suited him just fine. He was already thinking about her as 'his girl' and that meant he felt protective of her, he didn't like the idea of other men ogling her. He watched the football game and kept his focus on Sue Ellen when the cheerleaders performed; the Texas Longhorns won the game and the collective energy of the fans was thrilling. JR made his way through the hallways inside to find the entrance to the women's locker room; he had to pay off a few security guards to get into the non-public area of the building, but money wasn't a barrier for him. Quietly, he waited outside for her to exit.

Sue Ellen was on a high from the home game win, it was the best kind of win, the party would start immediately and carry-on into the night, she just wished that JR were there to share it with her. Waiting behind for a few of her friends to finish changing, they all exited the locker room at once, giggling and talking amongst themselves. As she walked out the door, she was shocked; JR was standing there, in person, waiting for her. The other girls noticed that she had stopped talking and watched her walk over to the handsome man. The two embraced and were completely oblivious to the audience they had, they heard the locker room door open again as another group of girls exited and Sue Ellen turned around to her friends, "you go on ahead, I'll catch up later", the other girls left, now talking about two topics, football and the handsome stranger.

Walking out of the stadium hand in hand JR realised that she probably had plans, "did you want to go to that party? I don't want to interrupt your night", she stopped walking and shook her head, "no, there will be other parties, right now I just want to spend time with you. Unless you feel like partying with cheerleaders, football players and other students? Though, I'm not sure I want the other girls dancing with you" she joked, he was good-looking and she had a feeling that he'd been a popular guy in high school and college, he wasn't a stranger to beautiful women. He laughed, "jealous? No, I already have the most beautiful lady in Texas right here, why would I need to go to a party? Come on" he took her hand and they got into a taxi, she had no idea where they were going, but she didn't mind as long as she was with him.

Arriving in Austin's entertainment district, Sixth Street, they walked together amongst other students and Austin residents, "ok, so I didn't really have a plan after this, so it's your choice, we could get coffee, or a late dinner, or we could go to a bar and have drinks while watching the musicians play. Totally up to you. Do you have a favourite? You are the native here". She was pleased that he wanted to spend time with her and was asking for her input into the activity for the night, "well I ate before the game and I'm a little tired from cheering, so how about we get coffee and talk and then maybe we can go dancing or go for a walk, whatever we want". She guided them toward the Hideout Coffee House, Austin's oldest independent coffee house. They had coffee and talked, catching up on the week between their last date and the present, it felt good to just talk, like spending time together was an event in itself. They then walked down Sixth Street, just enjoying the sights of activity around them. Noticing the time, she realised that she had to be back on campus by 1am or else she wouldn't be able to get into the sorority house, they got a taxi back to the campus and he walked her back to the house. He was sad to see the night end, but very happy about her reaction to seeing him. "I'll see you in the morning," he whispered as he moved closer to her and wrapped his arm around her waist, she knew what was coming and moved one hand to his shoulder in anticipation. He leaned down and kissed her, more confidently than their first kiss, he started slow and increased the intensity before slowly stopping and pulling away. She was disappointed when their kiss ended, but realised that they were standing in a public area and she really did have to go inside, "I'll see you tomorrow" she smiled to herself as she entered the house. He watched her disappear behind the door and then returned to his hotel, excited about their budding romance.

To be continued…


	20. The Next Step

**Dallas, Texas**

The next few weeks passed quickly, JR flew down to Austin twice a week and the two spent whatever time they could find together. It was difficult to arrange their schedules so that they were both free at the same time, but they managed. He was beginning to wonder how her previous boyfriend had dealt with her schedule, there was no way a man could be completely satisfied with a few hours here and there, and her boyfriend had done this for over a year. Although she had only been Miss Austin for part of their relationship, so that probably left more time for them to spend together as a couple, she was now Miss Texas and had even bigger responsibilities. JR had subtly brought up Clint in conversation and she had admitted that she had broken off their relationship for various reasons, she never went into detail though and he didn't think it was really his business to pry, especially with the newness of their own relationship. They were still learning a lot about each other. JR had quickly worked out how manipulative Sue Ellen's mother could be, he'd arrived early for a date and sat patiently in the living room while Sue Ellen changed outfit, he could hear the two 'discussing' her appearance and behaviour as if she weren't a real person. She had tried to state an objection, but her mother always seemed to know best; then when she did come downstairs to greet him, she acted if there had been no argument at all, she was a natural at hiding how she was really feeling, but he was determined to break down that emotional wall. There was another wall he was determined to break down too, this one not emotional, but physical. They'd moved a little further in their relationship, but not as far as JR was used to, it was beginning to frustrate him, he didn't want to push her and have it damage their relationship, but he also needed her to realise that he was a man and was used to having his needs fulfilled. He didn't want to outright ask her to do things, especially since she was so ladylike and proper, it almost seemed beneath her to say things of that nature in her presence. However, she also didn't quite seem to get the subtle hints when they were alone together so he wasn't sure what to do about the whole situation.

JR walked into the Southfork kitchen and saw his mama looking through her recipe book, "something special coming up mama? You only keep your best recipes in that book", she looked up at her eldest son, always interested in a good meal, and especially a home cooked one. "Yes, I was thinking of having a trial run for the upcoming barbecue, I want to test out a few recipes I haven't made in years, but the recipes yield quite a few servings, more food than the four of us who currently live here could eat. So, I was thinking of having a small barbecue, Bobby is coming home next weekend and Lucy has wanted to invite some friends around and we haven't had the Andersons here informally for a while and of course you may bring someone if you wish. I do hope to one day meet the young lady who you seem to be so taken with lately, she seemed very nice when I spoke to her on the phone last week". She smiled at the final part of her explanation, Sue Ellen had called to thank JR for the flowers and gifts he'd been sending her in his absence and Miss Ellie had answered the phone. The young girl seemed very sweet and had ended up telling her more than JR had probably intended his mother to know about their relationship, realising only afterward that she'd just told his mother what a romantic man her son was. Miss Ellie had worked out that all of the 'business' trips he was taking to Austin were more pleasure than business. She was pleased that her son finally seemed to be settling down; she just hoped that it would last. "Sounds wonderful mama, you know how much I enjoy your home cooking" he tried to deflect his answer from her final point, he hadn't intended for her to know about Sue Ellen just yet. Of course, he wanted to introduce her to his family, but he wanted to make sure she had enough warning before springing the idea on her; he didn't want her to think they were moving too fast. Though, he wondered if maybe he were worrying about nothing, his mama already seemed fond of her and she hadn't even met her yet. He made a mental note to ask Sue Ellen about their conversation and why she hadn't mentioned it to him.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen hurried back from cheerleading practice to get ready for her date with JR, they were having dinner on the top floor of the Westgate Tower, the tallest building in Austin, his flight was due to land in a few minutes and soon enough he would be at the sorority house to pick her up. She didn't want to keep him waiting and quickly readied herself to look dinner appropriate. She was glad her mother wasn't here, the process always took much longer when her mother scrutinized every inch of Sue Ellen's appearance, she always ended up changing multiple things, never happy with the original look.

JR placed his hand on Sue Ellen's lower back as he guided her into the elevator of the Westgate Tower, he was always pleased to see her, but tonight was special, he was going to ask her out to Southfork for the first time, he just hoped that she said yes. He'd met her family and some of her friends, but she hadn't met any of his yet. Arriving at the 25th floor, they stood by the window, enjoying the view of the Texas State Capitol and downtown Austin from above, they then sat down to dinner. Throughout dinner Sue Ellen could tell that something was weighing on his mind, "are you ok?" she asked, "oh yea, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" taking a drink as he spoke, he seemed nervous, something she wasn't used to. After their first date, he'd seemed very confident, almost cocky, but now he was shy again, "something is on your mind, I'm a good listener you know". He realised that he was going to have to ask her at some point; it was this weekend after all. "Well, my mama and daddy, they're throwing a mini-barbecue, in preparation for our annual barbecue and…" he paused for a minute, more nervous about the step in their relationship than the actual words he was speaking. "Well my brother Bobby, he's coming home from college for the weekend so I thought it would be the perfect time", she knew exactly what he was asking, but he hadn't actually said the words yet. He was very cute when he was nervous and she rather enjoyed the power that she had to make him that way, deciding to make him suffer a little longer she acted confused. "Perfect time for what?" he could tell the difference between her real confusion and when she was faking, and right now she was faking, she was enjoying seeing him like this. "Don't make me say it, you know what I mean", she shot him her best pout and he succumbed, "perfect time to introduce you…", still not giving in she spoke, "hmm, as your friend, your business associate, your personal shopper? Introduce me as what?" Now she was just playing a game, she really just wanted to see how long it would take him to use the word, they'd never even really discussed it themselves, it was more of an unspoken agreement to be exclusive. He sighed, she'd won, "introduce you as my girlfriend", he looked down at the table. She was done with teasing him now and stood up, walking over to his chair, she crouched down so she was at eye level, "yes, yes I'll go to the barbecue with you and yes I'd love to meet your family as your girlfriend". He stood up, lifted her off the ground and kissed her, "wonderful, mama will be so pleased, daddy too. You know my mama already asked to meet you? You must have made a good impression on her during that phone call, the one that you didn't tell me about" he grinned as he saw her trying to come up with an explanation, she'd definitely said a little too much during a simple phone call. "Well technically you did all the work, I just called to thank you, but your mama answered instead and I couldn't just hang up" she kissed him to distract him from the topic of conversation, he did not object to her changing the subject, especially with the method she chose.

To be continued…


	21. The Dallas Ewings

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen timidly boarded the Ewing jet, JR would meet her at the Dallas airfield to bring her to her hotel and then to Southfork. He'd offered her a guest room at Southfork but she wasn't quite ready for that yet, she hadn't even met his family and wasn't sure she wanted to commit herself to staying in their home. She sat staring out the window and remembered her first time meeting Clint's parents, Clint was attending UT Austin on an engineering scholarship and was originally from Longview, Texas, a four and a half hour drive from Austin, so his parents didn't often visit. The first time she'd met them she was nervous, but not half as nervous as she was right now. His parents had been very nice and complimentary toward their relationship, glad that their son had found a nice girl like Sue Ellen, much friendlier than Patricia had been to Clint throughout their relationship. Her mother liked JR, probably more because of his money and social standing than because of his personality, but that was just her mother, always opportunistic and always using her daughter for her own gain. Sue Ellen hoped that JR's parents were as nice as Clint's had been, she wanted them to approve of her, hopefully not thinking that she was using JR for his money, because she wasn't, she really did care about him, she was even beginning to think about using the word love, but it did seem a little soon for that.

**Dallas, Texas**

The Ewing jet landed and Sue Ellen exited the plane, JR was waiting for her as she walked onto the runway. They drove to her hotel and then made their way to Southfork, "JR, are you sure your parents will be happy? What if I say something wrong and embarrass you, or what if they don't approve of me just because they don't like me?" she was worried, she always craved approval and was anxious about making a good impression; she often doubted her own abilities because her mother had raised her with the goal of perfection, anything less wasn't good enough. "Darlin', they'll love you, I promise. You're everything that they ever wanted, you're beautiful, polite, personable, smart and a real lady. You know my mama took to you the moment you had that short conversation, she called you a nice young lady and that was only based on a phone call, I promise that everyone will like you and approve of you", he held onto her hand as they drove toward Southfork.

Pulling into the long driveway, Sue Ellen was in awe, this is where JR lived, it was a beautiful white ranch house surrounded by acres and acres of land. She remembered when she would imagine her future as a little girl, this was exactly the type of home she had pictured, it seemed perfect for raising a family. Her mind flashed back to her engagement to Clint, she had been so worried about where they would live, but with JR, she had no worries about the type of life he would provide his wife and children with. JR parked his car and opened her door, he whispered, "they'll love you, I promise" and kissed her lips lightly. At that moment, the ranch slider door opened and Miss Ellie, Jock and Lucy walked outside, they'd heard JR's car pull into the driveway. "Mama, daddy, this is Sue Ellen", he waved his hand in her direction, unsure of his next move, he rarely introduced women to his parents, "how do you do Mr and Mrs Ewing", Sue Ellen tried as hard as she could to appear put together, but inside she was a nervous wreck, his parents were such imposing figures. Miss Ellie was the first to respond, "lovely to finally meet you Sue Ellen, please, call me Miss Ellie", she pulled Sue Ellen into a friendly hug, an unexpected action for Sue Ellen. Jock welcomed her, although did not hug her. Then JR introduced Lucy, "Sue Ellen, this is Lucy, my little niece", Sue Ellen looked down toward the child, she was around Kristin's age, "nice to meet you Lucy, you know, I have a younger sister who looks about your age, maybe you two will meet someday", she was trying her best to be friendly and likable. "I'd like that, I always need new friends around here, it gets so boring playing by myself all the time. That's why grandma promised me that I could have a little brother or sister soon", JR was shocked, his parents were too old to be having any more children, but he had a feeling that the 'brother or sister' promised to Lucy was actually the long awaited John Ross Ewing III. He hoped that Sue Ellen would one day be his wife and the mother of his children, but they weren't even thinking about that stage of life yet. Everyone laughed at the young girl and her brazen words, "why don't we sit down and have some iced tea" Miss Ellie motioned for them to leave the driveway and sit out on the patio, Teresa filled everyone's glasses and left to go finish prepping the food for the barbecue.

JR sat close to Sue Ellen and held her hand underneath the table, quietly reassuring her that she was doing just fine. His parents asked her questions about herself, her family and her life. They were impressed that JR had managed to find such a well-rounded young lady and it surprised them that Miss Texas was such a nice girl. Jock had always thought of beauty queens as vapid, nothing going for them but looks, but Sue Ellen had a lot of redeeming qualities, she was quickly working her way into their good books. JR seemed to be enamoured with this girl and that pleased his parents, she was everything that a good wife should be. Lucy listened to the conversation and quietly observed her uncle's behaviour, the nice lady he'd brought home had a strange effect on him, she hoped that she would stick around, he was much nicer when he was with this girl. Lucy remembered what her grandma had said about a baby, ask uncle JR, if he stayed with Sue Ellen then maybe she would have a brother or sister sooner than she expected. Lucy was wiser than her years in some respects, she was definitely a Ewing, "grandma, may I go upstairs and show Sue Ellen my dollhouse?" she wanted to get her alone to find out if she really was as nice as she seemed.

Sue Ellen was surprised when the child asked her to go upstairs, she hadn't realised that she'd made such an impression on her. They made their way inside the house, Sue Ellen hadn't been inside yet and was impressed by the interior, it was just as nice as the exterior, she hoped that maybe someday she would be raising her children here. They passed a few closed doors and came to an open door; Lucy proceeded to show Sue Ellen her dollhouse, all of her dolls and their accessories. "Sue Ellen?" Lucy questioned, "yes Lucy?" she was still surprised that Lucy wanted to spend time with her, "if you came to live here, would you do things like this with me? Grandma is fun to play with, but some things are more fun with more than one person". Sue Ellen smiled, she was flattered that she'd made such an impression on the child in such a short amount of time, but Lucy's loneliness reminded her of her own childhood, Sue Ellen had never had much time to do kid things, her mother was always quite controlling, she knew what it was like to be lonely. "I'd love to" she smiled and Lucy was satisfied for now, she wanted Sue Ellen to be around more often, she was a cross between a mother and a friend, two things that Lucy desired.

JR sat on the patio and listened to his parents compliment Sue Ellen, he was pleased that they approved and seemed to really like her, it was a new feeling for him to have his parents' endorsement and support for one of his choices, usually it wasn't so easy to please them. He wondered how Sue Ellen and Lucy were getting along and what they were doing; Lucy had a very distinct side to her, a side that could only have come from somewhere in her Ewing blood, but definitely not from her father. She had learned the art of subtle manipulation from an early age, and everyone spoiled her, if she wanted something, she usually got it. JR excused himself and walked upstairs to find Sue Ellen, he heard the two before he saw them, Lucy was giggling as Sue Ellen made voices to go along with the dolls personalities, she was a natural at pretending, in both real life and while playing with Kristin. He stood and watched for a few minutes before making his presence known, if she was like this with a child she'd just met, then she'd be a wonderful mother. "Lucy, why don't you go and see grandma and I'll take Sue Ellen on a tour of the ranch", JR took Sue Ellen's hand as Lucy ran out of the room.

JR took Sue Ellen on a helicopter tour of Southfork and she was in awe at the sheer size of the ranch. They landed back at the house and walked down toward the stables; she'd always enjoyed riding horses but didn't get to do it very often. JR wasn't much of a horse person, but he enjoyed showing her around the ranch and she seemed to enjoy the company of the horses very much. Entering the stables JR had an idea, "darlin', why don't we go up to the hayloft, you get a great view from up there", naively she climbed the ladder and the two walked to the upper window. Sue Ellen stood looking out over the ranch and contemplated their day so far, "JR, I'm having a wonderful time, thank you for bringing me to meet your family", he wrapped his arms around her, her back to his chest and whispered in her ear, "it was all you darlin', I told you they'd love you". He slowly turned her away from the window, back toward him, and kissed her. Quickly, he turned the kiss from sweet into intense and passionate, he knew that the hayloft was a perfect location to bring a woman, he just had to get her to make the next move, he didn't want to scare her away. It was working, she was lost in the kiss, her fingers moved to the buttons on his shirt and started to undo them, "uncle JR? Sue Ellen? Are you in here?" Lucy's young voice interrupted the moment, JR was ready to just pretend that he hadn't heard her, but she persisted, "uncle JR? Granddaddy sent me to find you and bring you back to the house, uncle Bobby is home". Clearing his throat, JR told Lucy to run along and they would be there in a minute; he heard her leave the stables and then guided Sue Ellen down the ladder. Making sure they looked acceptable, they walked back to the house.

To be continued…


	22. Bobby

**Author's Note: Thank you again for the lovely reviews, it's nice to know that you're enjoying the story. There are two updates again today. This is the first.**

**Dallas, Texas**

Making their way back to the house they saw that a long table and outdoor grill had been set up, "JR? I thought you said it was a small barbecue?" the setup was bigger than she'd expected. "Well it is, but us Ewings like to go all out when we entertain, don't worry, everyone already loves you and there really will only be about ten people here. Mama, daddy, Bobby, myself, you, Lucy and a couple of her little friends as well as Punk and Mavis Anderson, mama and daddy's old friends" he explained the situation to her and she relaxed. It wasn't that she didn't like crowds, she was actually very good with public events, but she hadn't expected such a grand event for meeting his family, it was a little startling. Miss Ellie and Jock were standing by the pool talking to a younger man; Sue Ellen assumed that he was JR's brother Bobby, the two didn't look much alike, but were both attractive in their own way. "JR" Bobby shook JR's hand and greeted his brother; turning his attention to Sue Ellen he smiled at her, "you must be Sue Ellen, I've heard all about you today and from what I can see so far, you do not disappoint", he had a pleasant, friendly personality that made Sue Ellen feel comfortable around him. Sue Ellen greeted Bobby and the five of them sat down at the table next to the swimming pool and talked.

"Mr Ewing? There's a Mr Jordan Lee on the phone for you", Teresa directed her comment at Jock, and he motioned JR to go with him into the house. Miss Ellie excused herself to check on the food in the kitchen, leaving Bobby and Sue Ellen sitting together alone. "My mama couldn't stop talking about how great you are, you must be quite a girl for my brother to bring you here and for my parents to have taken to you so quickly. JR isn't usually this forward with his women" he complimented her. "Thank you, everyone in your family is so nice, I don't know what I expected but…" she paused, "what do you mean by your comment about JR?" She was confused, she was under the impression that he was a popular man, he was attractive, charming and wealthy, there was no way he'd have trouble finding a woman. "Oh, uh, how much has my brother told you about his life?" Bobby didn't want to ruin their relationship because she seemed very nice, but she definitely wasn't his usual 'type'. Sue Ellen was confused and worried now, she wondered if Bobby were going to tell her something awful, "well, we discussed our lives and he told me all about you and your family, Southfork and Ewing Oil. Is there more?" Bobby sighed; JR had conveniently left out his womanizing and wayward morality, "all I meant was that I've known my brother my whole life and I've never seen him like this. He doesn't usually have 'girlfriends', he has women. Dates for parties, dinner dates, women that keep him company. But, he never brings those women home to meet our parents and never looks at them the way he looked at you earlier. I don't know what you two have, but it's definitely different to the way my brother usually acts around women. It's actually quite refreshing, usually there isn't much point in getting to know JR's dates, he doesn't keep them around for long, but it does seem different with you and I know he feels differently, otherwise he'd be here alone, you'd be a date at our annual barbecue, but not an invited guest today".

The colour drained from her face as he spoke and she remembered what Paula had told her the first time JR sent flowers, "_JR is known for two things, business and women. He's ruthless but gets things done and enjoys the company of many women. It's not necessarily a bad thing, we're surrounded by guys like that right here, but I just can't imagine him being romantic like that card leads you to believe, or even the way he was last night, he was very sweet, I can see why you're so infatuated. Maybe there is another side to him, but it's definitely not a side that he often shows publicly"._ Sue Ellen wondered if Paula was right in her initial judgement of JR, maybe the side of him that he was showing her wasn't his real personality. "Sue Ellen?" she had been silent and staring into space since Bobby finished speaking, "oh I'm sorry Bobby, I was just surprised, I didn't realise that JR wasn't a public relationship person, he never had a problem with our relationship or being exclusive. He did everything in such a proper way; our first date, he came to my house, met my mother and we went to dinner. Of course, it had a wonderful JR Ewing touch to it, but it was a proper date, not some casual fling. We've been serious for a while, I never realised that he wasn't used to things like this. Of course, I don't really do casual; did he tell you that he pursued me while I had a boyfriend? We're broken up now and I'm with JR, but he knew I didn't want casual and he never pressured me into that. I just find it hard to believe, that's all" she finished speaking, she was intrigued by the other side of JR Ewing, but also a little worried that the other side was his real side. Bobby started to speak again but was interrupted by the sound of a car parking and the occupants walking toward the house.

"Bobby", Punk Anderson and his wife Mavis greeted Bobby, "nice to see you again. Where are your mama and daddy? And who is this gorgeous lady next to you?" Punk acknowledged the absence of Jock, JR and Miss Ellie and noticed Sue Ellen. "Daddy and JR are inside, Jordan Lee called a little while ago, I suppose they'll be done soon, you can just go in", he turned his attention to Mavis, "mama is in the kitchen finishing some of the food". He then placed a hand on Sue Ellen's back and introduced her, "this is Sue Ellen, JR's girlfriend" he emphasised the word girlfriend to make sure he got a reaction, "girlfriend?" Punk sounded surprised, he knew JR well and he wasn't the girlfriend type, maybe Jock's talk with him had had an effect, he knew how much Jock wanted a grandson. "Lovely to meet you Sue Ellen" Mavis warmly greeted the young girl and studied her appearance and manner, she was a lady and if JR married her she would fit in very well with the other DOA ladies. The ranch slider door opened and Jock walked outside followed by JR, "Punk, Mavis, good to see you", Jock shook Punk's hand and Mavis greeted the men before excusing herself to go find Miss Ellie. "JR, I've just met your lovely girlfriend, she must be very special, I don't think I've ever met a girlfriend of yours before" Punk jested JR, he'd known JR all his life and was close enough to joke with him. JR was a little embarrassed by all the attention that everyone was giving his relationship with Sue Ellen, he'd never been this serious with a woman before, but he didn't think everyone would spend time continually pointing it out, he hoped that she was ok with all of the comments. "She is" was all he said as he walked over to Sue Ellen and took her hand, "if you'll excuse us, I promised Sue Ellen I'd show her the house". The two walked off toward the house and Punk, Jock and Bobby made a few comments about JR's new personality and then moved onto discussing football.

Entering the house JR apologised for everyone's continual focus on their relationship status, "it's ok JR, I suppose everyone is just curious. Bobby tells me that you don't have girlfriends often, I'm not mad, it actually makes me feel good, knowing that you chose me to be your girlfriend, not just some girl you have a casual fling with" she reassured him. He was relieved as she spoke, most of the time his reputation worked in his favour, but with Sue Ellen he felt like it was a barrier to her understanding his commitment to her, "good. Now, how about that tour of the house?" he took her hand and guided them through the house.

"…and in here is my bedroom" he opened the door and she entered the room, looking around and taking in the interior design. "You decorated?" she queried, the room was masculine, but had a few adornments that a man probably wouldn't think about when designing a bedroom space. "Well, mama had a decorator come in a few years ago, so really she did most of the work. I picked out the comforter and furniture from a selection of pictures and mama or the decorator chose those framed prints, the lamps, plants and pretty much all of the little things, women are just better at that kind of thing. Do you like it?" he asked sheepishly. "I do, it's very nice, I was just surprised at the small details, but the explanation makes perfect sense," she lightly laughed at his self-consciousness; he was so cute when he looked for her approval. She just couldn't imagine that this was the same man everyone kept describing as a philanderer, he was always so respectful and sweet with her, of course she had seen his persistent side, he'd wanted her and hadn't given up until he had her, but even then he was sweet. "Good" he replied and guided her out onto the balcony above the swimming pool. They silently stood looking out over the ranch and Sue Ellen thought about his bedroom, it was nice, she could definitely live there, maybe adding a few personal touches when they were married. She had to remind herself to forget marriage for right now, they had only been dating for a couple of months and this was her first time at his house, they weren't even close to marriage yet, but she wouldn't mind if they were, she was falling in love with JR Ewing.

Concluding their tour in the kitchen, they met Miss Ellie, Mavis and Teresa who were putting the finishing touches on the side dishes. Noticing the pot of chili on the stove, JR took a spoon from the drawer, "darlin', I've told you about mama's famous chili, you have to try it", he handed her the spoon and she tasted it. "Oh Miss Ellie, JR's words were 'my mama makes the best chili in Texas' and I'd have to agree with him, this is delicious" she smiled genuinely. Mavis and Ellie had been watching as JR and Sue Ellen interacted, he was definitely different with her, Miss Ellie was proud of her son for finding such a good match, she hoped that it would last. "I'm glad you like it" Miss Ellie responded to the compliment and Sue Ellen offered to help with any final food preparation. JR excused himself to go find the other men while the women finished preparing the food. Mavis and Ellie had been talking about JR's new girlfriend before the couple came downstairs, but they now had a little time to speak with her alone. The young girl was a proper lady, she had style and elegance, but also had a charming personality, the two women had quickly warmed to the possible future Ewing.

The rest of the afternoon was spent outside, the food was fantastic and the company was even better, Sue Ellen liked the Ewings and their friends and was once again thinking about what it would be like to have them as her family. JR drove Sue Ellen back to her hotel and was reflected on how the day had gone, "darlin' that went wonderfully don't you think? Everyone loved you and you fit in perfectly with the family. I hope we can arrange our schedules so that you can come out more often, I know mama would love to see you; Lucy too, she was really taken with you earlier. The annual Ewing barbecue is coming up in about a month, it's a big social event around here and I can't wait to show you off". She was happy about the way that he spoke, he was taking their relationship seriously, even inviting her to public events, and she looked forward to their future. Arriving at her hotel, he kissed her goodnight in the doorway to her room, "I'd invite you in, but your parents know exactly how long it takes to drive here and back to Southfork. We wouldn't want them thinking ill of me would we" she smirked as he realised that she was right and he couldn't argue his way out of the situation, "goodnight" he sighed and kissed her again, not breaking it off until they were both breathless, "goodnight" she whispered as she moved inside, closing the door behind her.

To be continued…


	23. On Horseback

**Austin, Texas**

Over the next few weeks JR continued to make trips to Austin and flew Sue Ellen to Dallas for weekends, the long-distance relationship never felt too straining because of how often they were able to fit each other into their schedules as well as the busyness of their lives when they weren't together. JR had invited Sue Ellen to Southfork for the weekend and the next weekend was Labor Day holiday and the annual Ewing Barbecue. She was quickly becoming a well-known part of JR Ewing's public life when they were seen visiting downtown Dallas together, but the two had not yet publicly debuted their relationship as an official couple, the Ewing Barbecue would mark that event. Everyone close to the Ewings knew of their official title, but the wider community hadn't been introduced to Sue Ellen Shepard as JR Ewing's girlfriend, currently she was Miss Texas who happened to be seeing a lot of JR Ewing.

Sue Ellen and the other cheerleaders boarded the bus to San Antonio for the football game and she was in good spirits, JR had a business dinner to attend tonight, but he would pick her up at the airfield in the morning and he'd promised her that they would ride horses tomorrow. She'd gathered from talking to his family that JR wasn't much of a riding man, he'd always taken more of an interest in the Ewing side of his family rather than the Southworth side, but he had promised her and she wasn't going to let him talk his way out of it. Elaine, one of her teammates and sorority sisters, came to sit next to Sue Ellen, "Sue Ellen?" she asked with an uneasy voice, Sue Ellen began to worry, she was happy and didn't want anything to mess up her night, "yes Elaine?" Taking a deep breath Elaine spoke, "Sue Ellen, I hate to ask you this and I wouldn't if it weren't important, but can I ask why you and Clint broke up?" Sue Ellen was surprised and then saddened to think about her relationship with Clint, it had been so good, but she had been so hurt by his actions toward the end. She'd never really had time between breaking up with Clint and starting to date JR and had never really thought about being single, JR had been there and was everything she ever wanted. "Well first, may I ask why you want to know? I'd rather not go into the details for no reason" she knew how easily gossip spread and didn't want everyone knowing the specifics of their relationship, especially since it was so personal and she was somewhat of a public figure.

Elaine looked down, she was uncomfortable about asking, but Clint hadn't wanted to discuss it and had seemed almost defensive, as if it weren't a normal breakup, "well, Clint and I, we're in the same statistics class and he's been helping me with the assignments, I'm not very good at math you know. We've become quite close, and he asked me on a date, but I didn't want to say yes until I had your approval, I wasn't sure of the relationship you two have. I know you're with JR now, but Clint was your boyfriend for a long time and everyone in the house knew about it, well I just didn't want to jump into anything and have the other girls turn on me because he was still your man. So I explained that to him and asked him about your relationship and he just said that you two broke up but there was something in his voice that told me it wasn't quite done, so I asked why you two broke up and he got defensive and almost angry, like I shouldn't ask such things. I really just wanted to know what you thought about the whole thing, I would like to say yes, but his outburst scared me a little bit. I like you Sue Ellen and I wouldn't want to hurt you, so I'd never do anything that you asked me not to", her words sparked memories in Sue Ellen, the good and the bad. She realised that she had given Clint false hope when she had broken up with him. She had made it seem as if she would one day go back to him, that their breakup was more of a cooling off period rather than a finished forever kind of thing. Maybe at the time it had been, she wasn't sure, but now that she was with JR, Clint was a past memory, not a current thought. She took a deep breath and spoke, "Clint and I, we had a wonderful relationship, he's kind and patient, but you're right, he does have a darker side and that darker side is why we broke up. Look, I was in the wrong a lot of the time and I know that, it cannot have been easy for him, especially with JR in the picture, but most of the time we were able to solve our problems by talking. The reason we broke up I won't detail it, it's quite personal, but he didn't respect my personal boundaries and let his jealousy overrule his rational thought. In that moment I realised that he had another side and it was a side I really didn't like. Clint and I haven't spoken much since we broke up, but I consider him a friend and that's all. If you want to say yes then I have no problem with it, trust your instincts and don't do anything you don't want to, but if you treat Clint well then he'll treat you well too" she felt relieved as she finally verbalised her thoughts and emotions. Sue Ellen wasn't the only one who was relieved, Elaine was calmed by Sue Ellen's words and that she bore no ill will toward her.

**Dallas, Texas**

Stepping off the Ewing jet, Sue Ellen and JR embraced, she was feeling much better after her conversation with Elaine the previous night, like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She hadn't even been aware that she'd never really dealt with the ending of her previous relationship, she'd jumped so quickly into a new relationship that she really hadn't considered it too much. They drove away from the airfield, but toward downtown Dallas instead of Southfork, "JR?" she was confused, "oh I'm sorry, we have to stop off at the office to pick up some files, daddy wants to review them before out meeting on Monday" she accepted his answer but was secretly sceptical, Jock was capable of driving into Dallas himself. "I'm so excited to finally go riding today" she prompted him to see whether he would react, "err, well, are you sure you wouldn't rather we just drove down to the pond? Horses are so dirty and temperamental" he didn't care much for horses and had only agreed to take her riding because she seemed so interested. "JR Ewing, I knew it, you don't want to go. But you promised me we could" she gave him her best pout and kissed his cheek, "fine, I'll take you riding, but you have to do something for me". Tilting her head in confusion, "do what?" she asked suspiciously; JR had a mischievous look in his eye now and she knew that something was going on, she just didn't know what. "Well, look in the glove compartment there and you'll find a clue", cautiously she opened the glove compartment, there was a small envelope with JR's name and address printed on it, "open it" he prompted. She read the first lines of the small paper and realised that it was an invitation "A Night of Music &amp; Dancing. Mr JR Ewing and guest, you are cordially invited to attend the 1967 Dallas Oil Baron's Association Charity Ball…" she was surprised, although she realised that she shouldn't be, next week was their official debut as a couple and they would be attending events together more frequently. Breaking the silence JR spoke, "so, will you go with me? I am taking you riding after all" he grinned at her, she would have agreed anyway, but he loved to make it seem like he was doing people a favour. He parked his car on the street outside the Ewing Oil building and looked at her, "yes, I'd love to, especially since you're being so selfless by taking me riding" she laughed and leaned over to kiss him.

They quickly retrieved the paperwork from the office and she made a quick mental note of the small couch in his office; they then made their way back to Southfork. JR grumbled a little as the ranch hands saddled their horses but she didn't give in, she wanted to go and was sure that he'd have a good time once they started riding. They started in a slow jog trot, but quickly moved into a lope, Sue Ellen had riding experience but didn't often get to go riding and JR learned the skills as a child but hardly ever used them because he didn't see the point. Arriving at the pond, they stopped, dismounted and tied their horses to a tree. "That wasn't so bad was it?" she wanted to get him to admit that he was having fun, she'd seen the look on his face as they were riding. "No, I suppose not, but don't expect this to be a regular occurrence when you're at Southfork", he had to hold some power in the conversation, she was right, it wasn't that bad, it was actually slightly enjoyable, but he wouldn't be doing it often, it was a special event just for her.

They walked around the perimeter of the pond and he told her stories about growing up on Southfork, the outdoors was always more of Bobby's thing, Gary's too, but he rarely mentioned Gary; JR spoke about the hunting trips he'd take with his father and brothers and that he enjoyed the bonding time away from the pressure of Ewing Oil. He didn't often tell people about his lack of real childhood and only alluded to it in his stories, but Sue Ellen could tell that he would have given anything to be his father's favourite son, he didn't hate his parents, but he knew that he was never their favourite and that had damaged him. "I'm sorry for burdening you with these stories" he apologised as they returned to the tree where their horses were standing, she felt bad that he even thought that by expressing his feelings he was burdening her. She stopped walking and took his hand, running her fingers across his palm and wrist, "JR, look at me" she looked him in the eyes and saw the lonely little boy that he had once been, far from the cocky oilman that he was now; he buried his feelings deep inside him. "JR, you are not burdening me, you forget that I know a thing or two about always wanting to please a parent but never being enough, I am so sorry that you had to go through that. We're all flawed people, but I know that your parents love you, they just don't realise how their actions hurt. But you know what, we learn from experiences like that, I know that one day you'll be a wonderful father and you'll have nothing but love for your own son", she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him, she suspected that he probably didn't get a lot of hugs as a child. "I love you," he whispered, so quietly that if someone were standing a few feet away they wouldn't have heard; she was overcome with emotion as he said the words for the first time, verbalising and confirming the way she also felt about him, "I love you too" she whispered back. He moved their embrace from a hug into a kiss, slow and passionate, as if they were letting their physical actions speak for them.

To be continued...


	24. Ewing Barbecue

**Austin, Texas**

It was Friday afternoon and Sue Ellen and Paula were packing their bags and chatting about the upcoming long weekend. Normally Paula would have driven back to Richardson, but Sue Ellen was flying and JR had offered a seat on the Ewing jet, she did only live about 25 minutes away from Braddock and it seemed like the most logical solution. As they boarded the plane Paula was in awe, "marry him" she spoke, half-serious and half-joking; Sue Ellen laughed, "my mother would be proud don't you think? Kristin is just itching to fly on a private jet too. Actually, I have to admit, it is pretty nice to be accommodated like this, even as Miss Texas I have to fly coach with everyone else when I travel to different cities". Paula could tell that Sue Ellen was falling not only for the man JR Ewing was but for the lifestyle he would provide her with. She'd been in love with Clint, but this was different, Sue Ellen would have been happy as a computer engineer's wife, making enough income to live on and have a reasonable middle class life. However, marrying JR Ewing would mean a more pleasant and quiet life in regard to pleasing her mother. She'd finally have everything her mother wanted for her, and for the first time, Paula could tell that Sue Ellen didn't mind living the way her mother wished. The girls enjoyed the short flight from Austin to Dallas and parted ways at the airfield.

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen had become a semi-regular guest at Southfork dinners and everyone enjoyed her company. Jock was especially happy to have another chair filled at the dinner table and if his plans went smoothly then soon they would have a new Mrs Ewing and John Ross Ewing III as permanent dinner guests. He expected that by the time the future Ewing heir was old enough to sit at the table, Bobby would also be focusing on finding a wife and expanding the Ewing family himself. Southfork would be the lively, people filled home that it once was. After dinner, the family retired to the living room, Bobby, JR and Jock talked business while Sue Ellen and Miss Ellie discussed what they were wearing to the barbecue the following day. Lucy asked Sue Ellen to approve her outfit, she liked the idea of having a Miss Texas for her aunt and a younger woman to admire her clothes, the only female influences she had in her life were her grandmother and the society ladies that she was friends with, they weren't exactly knowledgeable about current fashions for young girls.

JR picked Sue Ellen up at her hotel at 9am and they had a quick breakfast in Dallas, they hadn't had much time to themselves the previous night and wanted to be alone for a while before the hectic atmosphere and obligatory socialising took them away from each other at the barbecue. Arriving back at Southfork, Sue Ellen was once again surprised at how big and extravagant the barbecue setup was, she took time again to remind herself of how dedicated the Ewings were to their social events. JR noticed the look on Sue Ellen's face and laughed, "I told you the first time you were here, the Ewings go all out when we entertain, it's tradition". The first guests started to arrive and she wasn't sure whether she should stand in the receiving line to welcome the guests, she wasn't actually a Ewing and no one really knew who she was, she stood off to the side and watched. "Darlin', come stand here with me, I want everyone to meet you and know that you're mine", she cautiously walked toward him and watched as the cars started to arrive en masse. "Sue Ellen, so nice to see you again" Punk and Mavis Anderson greeted her; she met many other people, mostly business associates and society friends. She was then introduced to the men JR called 'the cartel', a group of oilmen that Ewing Oil frequently did business with, they were all charming, but she didn't see quite why he wanted her here to meet all of these people. "Sue Ellen, darlin', this is Marilee Hurst and her father Martin Hurst. Say Marilee, where is Seth Stone, I thought you two were going together?" JR had a joking manner with this woman and Sue Ellen began to wonder what involvement they'd had in the past. "Well thank you for your concern JR, but Seth had to go out of town on business, nothing bad. I see you have a date though, not your usual type, I'm sure your parents are pleased", she spoke with a hostile tone of voice but the words she said were gracious, she knew the social manipulation game well, Sue Ellen didn't like her. "You're right about that, Marilee, Martin; this is Sue Ellen, my girlfriend", Marilee let out a cruel laugh, "JR Ewing? Girlfriend?" she calmed her demeanour and smiled at Sue Ellen, "nice to meet you Sue Ellen, I hope we'll get to know each other". Sue Ellen was shocked as Marilee laughed and scoffed at their relationship, she really didn't like this woman, "thank you, it's nice to finally meet some of JR's friends", she put on her best fake smile and then JR moved onto the next person in line.

A couple of hours later the barbecue was in full swing, the food was fantastic, the atmosphere was energetic and Sue Ellen had met a lot of nice people. She was seated with Miss Ellie and some of her DOA friends and they were discussing the next charity fundraiser. The ladies were pleased that Miss Texas could soon be one of them, it would bring their organization a lot more publicity if they had a well-known member, someone who wasn't just recognizable within their own social circle. As they sat and talked, Marilee watched from afar, she would be joining the DOA soon and didn't like the idea of competing with the perfect Miss Texas. A voice from behind Sue Ellen spoke, "mama, may I steal Sue Ellen, we haven't danced nearly enough today", she was pleased that JR was paying attention to her, she'd begun to wonder if she was really important to him, he'd spent all day talking business with the other men and having vaguely flirtatious conversations with some of the women. As they danced he held her close, she really was the most important woman in his life, aside from his mama of course; he realised that he'd neglected her a little bit today and was determined to make up for it. They danced for a while and then got some food, "are you sure that you don't have any more business to do today?" she didn't want him to miss out on networking opportunities because he was trying to make her feel better. "Yes, I promise, I'm sorry that I wasn't around much this morning, but all business is done now and we are free to enjoy ourselves", she smiled and then led him back to the dancefloor, she was in a dancing mood today and wasn't going to miss out if he was committed to spending time with her.

"How about we go for a walk?" he suggested as the song ended, "I'd like that" she took hold of his hand and let him lead her wherever he wanted to take her. They walked down toward the stables and were just happy to be together, "JR?" she wanted to ask him about Marilee, it had been bothering her all day, "mmhm?" he encouraged her to continue what she wanted to say. "Don't take this the wrong way, but what exactly happened between you and Marilee? She didn't react very well to our relationship", she hoped he would be honest with her. He sighed, he knew that he'd have to one day explain the company he kept, she was such a lady, and he was far from a gentleman all the time, he was afraid that she wouldn't understand, "Sue Ellen, Marilee is a jealous woman and that's it. She and I have a difficult relationship, she's too much like me for her own good, neither of us likes to lose. I won't lie and say that there was never anything between us, but it was definitely not serious and it was a long time ago. She's practically engaged to Seth Stone, her father is grooming him to become a partner in Hurst Oil. She doesn't like to see other people happy, especially the way you and I are happy. Please don't let her snippy remarks and attitude hurt you, it's just who she is, she wouldn't actually harm you, she's just a lot of talk", Sue Ellen was pleased that he'd told her a relative truth, although she wasn't sure about their previous relationship, she had a feeling that it was a lot more than he'd let on. "Ok, I don't like her, but I suppose I don't have to like her. I'll be cordial if we speak again, I'm a master at pretending to like rude people, it comes with the Miss Texas title" she tried to lighten the mood, she hadn't wanted to ruin their time together with negative talk, "come on, if I remember correctly, the view from the hayloft is pretty nice". He was excited that she had suggested re-visiting the hayloft; he had been so disappointed when their last time up there was interrupted. As they entered the stables and walked toward the ladder he recognized that their plan was not going to be realised this time either, he could hear sounds coming from the hayloft and knew that someone had beaten them to it. Sue Ellen knew exactly what was happening above them and blushed; she'd not intended to go quite that far with JR and standing next to him at this moment was embarrassing. The two quietly exited the stables and JR laughed loudly, it was a combination of their unfortunate timing and her blushing that made him less upset about the situation and more amused. "The view's not that great anyway. Come on, let's go back to the barbecue", she was happy that he didn't address the awkward situation, she wasn't sure that she would have been able to speak.

As the barbecue came to an end and the guests began to leave, JR and Sue Ellen sat close together and reflected on the day, no one else mattered in that moment and it was obvious how much the two cared for each other. Bobby said goodbye to a few guests and then noticed Marilee standing near the pool staring at JR and Sue Ellen, she did not look happy. "They're really in love don't you think Marilee?" he knew their history and could see that she was jealous, but he didn't care, Marilee couldn't do anything to him. She didn't say a word and angrily walked away, she didn't actually want to be JR's girlfriend, but she hated the fact that he had a girlfriend. JR and Sue Ellen walked toward the house but were interrupted by Marilee, "he's not worth it you know" she slurred, she had obviously been drinking, "go home Marilee, you're just making a fool of yourself" JR took Sue Ellen's hand and they began to walk away. Marilee was angry that JR had just brushed her off and Sue Ellen hadn't taken any notice of her, she grabbed an abandoned glass of red wine and threw it at Sue Ellen, "Marilee! What the hell is wrong with you?!" JR was angry and now had the attention of every leftover guest, "get off this ranch now, before I throw you off myself!" he motioned to Bobby to deal with Marilee and guided Sue Ellen into the house.

To be continued…


	25. Blessing in Disguise?

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen was in shock, she'd never had a drink thrown at her and didn't quite know how to react in the moment, as they entered the house she realised that her clothes were covered in red wine stains. "Don't worry, Teresa will get the stains out, come on, I'll find you something to change into", he guided her up to his bedroom and she sat on the bed, she still hadn't said a word. "Sue Ellen? Are you ok? I'm sorry about Marilee, I told you she was a jealous woman, although I never realised she would go quite that far", she realised that he was speaking to her and snapped into reality, "oh, I'm sorry, I was just a little shocked, that's never happened to me before". He laughed, of course that had never happened to her before, she was a refined young lady, not some trashy girl who lived in a world where physical fighting was common. "Don't laugh, it's not funny that I'm covered in wine and she's not. I don't even have my overnight bag with my extra clothes; all of my things are at the hotel", he tried not to laugh at her dilemma, he certainly wouldn't mind her taking her clothes off, Marilee may have inadvertently done him a favour. "Darlin' I told you, Teresa will get the stains out. Here, change into this and I'll go find you some proper clothes" he handed her one of his shirts and left the room.

"JR, how's Sue Ellen?" Miss Ellie was concerned for the young girl; she hadn't done anything to Marilee and hadn't deserved to have a glass of wine thrown at her. "She's ok mama, just a little shocked. I just need to find a change of clothes; all her things are all at her hotel. Could you please help me with that", Miss Ellie moved to talk to Teresa and find Sue Ellen something to wear in the meantime. "JR?" Miss Ellie soon realised that although they kept their guest room stocked, it did not include a change of clothes, she handed JR a guest robe and he returned to his bedroom. He knocked before he entered; he didn't want to invade her privacy, although he wouldn't have minded walking in on her in a state of undress. Sue Ellen looked up at him, she was embarrassed to be wearing so little clothing and sitting on his bed, she didn't want him to get the wrong idea, but she felt guilty that she was having such impure thoughts, she really wouldn't have minded if he did get the wrong idea. JR was speechless, she was so alluring and sensual and her obvious self-consciousness just made him more attracted to her, "wow" he didn't realise he'd said it aloud until she giggled, her innocence and playfulness was just adding to his arousal. He cleared his throat and spoke, "uh, so I have good news and bad news. The good news is that Teresa knows how to get wine stains out of clothing and she can do that now, the bad news is that you're stuck in that shirt or this robe, although if you ask me, that's really not such a bad thing". She was pleased that he found her attractive; her shyness and insecurity was beginning to disappear and she wouldn't have minded if he came to sit with her. He didn't move, he wasn't sure what she wanted from him, did she want him to leave her alone, or keep a distance in the room, would she mind if he did what he really wanted to do; being this much of a gentleman was not his usual manner. She stood up and moved toward him, it was almost too much; she looked so appealing, sexy without even trying, "thank you. You know, I kind of like this shirt too". He had to get out of the room before he did something dramatic, something he had wanted for a long time but she hadn't quite offered yet, "great, I'll take your clothes downstairs" he quickly moved toward the bed and picked up the small pile of stained clothing. She was disappointed when he moved away from her and left the room hurriedly, she'd thought that they could spend some time alone together but he'd had other plans. She then realised she was being silly and that he really did need to take her clothes downstairs, she certainly wasn't leaving the room only dressed in his shirt.

JR carried the clothes downstairs, his emotions all over the place, if he returned to her then he wasn't sure that he could control himself; he was conflicted, she had seemed like she was trying to seduce him when she walked toward him, did she want this as much as he did? Bobby noticed JR coming down the stairs, "JR, is Sue Ellen alright? I'm sorry about Marilee, I shouldn't have said anything". JR was confused by his brother's words; he was responsible for Marilee's actions? "This was your fault? What did you say?" he was trying to stay calm, he didn't want to overreact. Sheepishly Bobby replied, "it wasn't bad, actually it wasn't bad at all, I commented that the two of you looked like you were in love. She obviously didn't take it too well", JR calmed, Bobby was right, Marilee completely overreacted and had no valid reason to, she really was just a spiteful woman. "No, she didn't. Sue Ellen is fine; I was just bringing her clothes down for Teresa to wash. If you'll excuse me, I don't want to leave her alone for too long", he left the room and gave Teresa orders to make sure the clothing was handled carefully. Returning to his bedroom he was overwhelmed again, "Teresa is dealing with your clothing now", she walked closer to him, "thank you", she kissed him lightly and he wasn't sure exactly what direction she was planning on taking this. As she went to step backward he held her close and made his move, using words before actions, something he was a master at, "so, we have a little while before your clothes are ready, what should we do?" he spoke low and seductively. She knew exactly what she wanted to do, but didn't want to seem easy, "well, we could play scrabble or backgammon, or maybe watch television" she spoke in playful tone, he knew she wasn't serious and was definitely toying with him. "I have a better idea" he moved so that he was inches away from her face, "uh-huh, and what's that?" she wrapped one arm around his neck and placed a hand on his chest as he moved forward and captured her lips in a passionate kiss.

He knew exactly what he wanted and she seemed to be completely on board with his plan, she put up no resistance as he slowly walked them back toward the bed. Her fingers moved toward the buttons on his shirt as he focused his attention on her neck. She was very much enjoying where this was going as she rid him of his shirt, moving her hands to the buttons and zipper on his pants. He couldn't believe that this was finally happening, they'd never properly spoken about the actual act, he'd never wanted to mention it in case she took it the wrong way and felt too pressured or felt like he only wanted her for her body, that wasn't true. She had to know by now that he wasn't opposed to it though, he'd tried to get there a number of times, but tonight was the furthest they'd actually gone. Usually there was some unfortunate interruption or she tensed up and they cooled down, he was respectful of her choices and didn't want to hurt her, he wanted this to last, not for some stupid mistake to ruin their relationship. She'd undone his pants and he was able to step out of them, he slowly pushed her down toward the bed and continued to kiss her earlobe, lips and down her neck toward her collarbone, easing the buttons on _his _shirt open he moved further downward.

To be continued…


	26. First Night at Southfork

**Austin, Texas**

Patricia Shepard called the Singletree Hotel for a fourth time, receiving the same answer she had the previous three times, her daughter had not returned to her room yet. Looking at the time she questioned whether to call Southfork, it was quite late and not really an appropriate time to call a personal residence, but she had to be sure her daughter was not straying from her careful life plan, she would be worthless on the marriage market if she were tainted in any way. She dialled the number for Southfork, "hello, Ewing residence" a male voice answered, it didn't sound like JR, "hello, this is Patricia Shepard, Sue Ellen's mother, I was wondering whether my daughter was still there?" She was antsy and impatient, she would not have Sue Ellen throw her life away with a little mistake, "yes ma'am, there was a small problem but that is being dealt with as we speak, she should be returning to her hotel soon" Raoul spoke but was distracted by the sound of dishes falling in the kitchen. Patricia kept speaking, but received no answer and then heard rapid Spanish being spoken, she worked out that she must be speaking to a domestic servant, she gave up on getting any more answers. The man had said that Sue Ellen would be returning to her hotel soon and she trusted her daughter to do just that, Sue Ellen knew exactly what was at stake.

**Dallas, Texas**

She was in heaven as his hands skilfully moved to the buttons and began to undo them, "we have to stop" she weakly pushed him away, "why?" he asked while continuing to kiss her neck and earlobe. Involuntarily moaning at his touch, she made a stronger effort to move away from him, this felt so right but for some reason she had a terrible feeling, "I can't", he stopped and looked at her with a mix of lust and confusion in his eyes "you can't? What does that mean?" She sighed at the timing of this conversation, she knew it was coming, but didn't exactly plan to have it like this, especially with the way she was feeling right now and the way she knew he was feeling. Sitting up she looked him in the eyes and asked, "What's 8x12?" now he was incredibly confused, "what?" She giggled, "I asked you what 8x12 equals". "I know what you asked me, it's 96, but I'm searching my mind for a connection between what we were just doing and a math equation" he was beginning to get frustrated, if she wanted to have a conversation, they could have done that earlier, or later, but not right now, right now he needed release, not talk. "How did you know the answer was 96?" somewhere in this conversation there was a point, but he'd yet to make any link to what that point was, "I don't know how, I just know that it's the answer. Darlin' what does this have to do with anything?" he kissed her again, hoping to distract her enough to forget their conversation. Pulling away and looking toward the ground she started to speak, "JR, you know what 8x12 is because of the way you were taught, rote learning, memorization based on repetition of information. You've met my mama, now imagine living with her for the past 20 years, hearing certain ideologies repeated as fact. My whole life I have been trained into submission by my mother to live by her rules and become the perfect lady, one day the perfect wife. A lady possesses a gift meant only for her husband. It sounds so stupid when I try to explain it aloud, lord knows I don't agree with everything my mother preaches, but there is something inside me stopping me from moving any further. It doesn't matter what I want or how wonderful I feel, I just can't. That's what I meant when I said that we had to stop" she moved to stand up, certain that he would be irritated, angry and frustrated with her for leading him on, letting him get this far with her only to tell him no. She didn't intend to tease him, she didn't even intend for them to end up here tonight, but she was very attracted to him and one thing had led to another.

As she stood up and turned, he grabbed her hand and pulled her back down, "its ok, I understand. I can't say that I'm too pleased about finding out right now" emphasising the unfortunate timing of her confession "but it does please me to know that when we do finally go that far and that special gift is unwrapped, and I intend to be the one to unwrap it, you'll be all mine and no one else's. That's actually a very appealing thought" he grinned with a devious glint in his eye. "You mean you're not mad?" she was still unsure of his reaction, she expected much worse, especially knowing his reputation. From previous experience, men did not appreciate being denied something that they wanted, especially something so intimate. Each one of her previous boyfriends had been annoyed with her boundaries regarding that area of their relationship, even Clint, the most reasonable of her exes. She just could not believe that JR was taking it so well. "No, I'm not mad, I promise" he kissed her lips sweetly to show that he meant what he was saying. "As I said, I can't say that I'm too pleased about it, but big picture, just think of how exciting our wedding night will be and that's just the beginning" he laughed as the devious grin that had been on his face just moments before reappeared. She was shocked and thrilled, he had mentioned their future before, but never anything as concrete as his previous sentence, she would love to be his wife one day, and if their earlier passion was any indication, their marriage would definitely be exciting. He watched her expression as he spoke and was pleased when she seemed to react positively to his words.

He reached up and touched her cheek, "we don't have to go any further than you're comfortable with" he whispered and then pulled her into a passionate kiss. They spent the rest of the evening snuggled together, giving each other kisses and caressing. Sue Ellen was very happy with how the situation ended up and for the first time in his life JR Ewing really, properly understood the meaning of intimacy and the feelings it evoked when you were with the right person. Bobby had been right, he'd really only confirmed what JR already knew, JR really was in love. The idea of JR Ewing being in love scared him, but at the same time he thought, if he was going to be in love with any woman he was glad it was Sue Ellen, a real lady and perfect wife material, a flawless mix of sweetness and sensuality.

Teresa stood in the hallway, conflicted about what to do; JR had been so insistent about getting Sue Ellen's clothes washed and dried as quickly as possible, but she had knocked on the door and received no answer. Should she walk in? Leave the clothes outside? She didn't want to get in trouble, JR was scary when he was angry. Bobby walked up the stairs saw her standing outside JR's bedroom door, approaching her he asked if something was wrong, she explained the situation to the gentler Ewing son and was pleased when he offered to take over the responsibility. "JR?" he knocked a little stronger and spoke a little louder, when he received no answer he decided to take a chance and go in himself. Opening the door slowly and quietly, trying to prevent himself from seeing something private, he was surprised to see JR and Sue Ellen asleep together, limbs intertwined, both still partially dressed and looking extremely content. Smiling to himself, he placed the small pile of clothes on the bedside table and quietly left the room. His brother was not the kind of man to choose to sleep with a clothed woman, Bobby knew he had been right, Sue Ellen was very special, and JR Ewing was in love.

To be continued…


	27. The Morning After

**Dallas, Texas**

As the early morning sunlight streamed into the room, Sue Ellen awoke, for a moment she was confused about her surroundings but as she looked around the room, she remembered the previous night. She really hadn't intended to end up in JR's bed that night, but the situation had been out of her control, well, somewhat out of her control, there were other choices she could have made, but none of those choices were as appealing as the one they had made together. She felt terrible about teasing JR, in his mind she had probably led him on, but it was unintentional, she realised that she probably would have gone all the way with him if it weren't for the inconvenient mental reminders of the indoctrination she'd received her whole life. It really was as if her mother were there, whispering all the awful things that would happen to her if she moved any further. No matter how much she wanted to believe that she was her own person, she would always live with the knowledge that she was who she was because of how her mother had raised her, it wasn't that easy to just ignore her conscience, a conscience that was shaped by the way she was brought up. She thought about the way that JR had reacted, it was much different to the way Clint had acted or any of the men she had dated. Clint was the first man she'd allowed herself to almost go there with, but she was very thankful that they hadn't; JR was the man she was truly in love with, the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with and the man that she wanted to give her gift to. She had been in love with Clint, but it was completely different to the way she loved JR; she knew that JR was the man for her, she just hadn't known that there was anything better when she was with Clint. As they lay in bed spooning together, JR's arm tightly wrapped around her waist and his leg underneath hers, she had no regrets. Looking at the clock and realising it was only 5.30am, she snuggled back down and soon fell asleep.

JR awoke as he did every morning, at 6.55am exactly, his body clock was never wrong. This morning was different though, he was snuggled together with his arms around Sue Ellen. He smiled to himself as he remembered the previous night, Marilee's actions really had been a blessing in disguise; they'd never gone this far together and he was enjoying their closeness. Despite the lack of conclusion to the physical action she'd started and her admission that there wasn't going to be any until she was married, he was still surprisingly alright with how the night had ended. He was JR Ewing after all, he had a certain way of persuading people to do what he wanted; she may have said no once, but that didn't mean he couldn't keep trying. His mischievous grin appeared on his face again, he knew how attractive women found him and how charming he could be; Sue Ellen was no different, in time she would either give-in to his powers of persuasion, or he wouldn't even have to try and persuade her, she wanted him last night, but had been guilt-ridden that she'd stopped herself. With a little bit of subtle cajoling, that guilt would disappear. He intended to marry her eventually and if that were the only option then he wouldn't have a problem with it either. He'd rather not have to wait until marriage though, he was a man, a man who was not used to being denied. Sue Ellen stirred a little, wiggling her body in her sleep but not waking up. JR was suddenly reminded just how much of a man he was; if she were any other woman, he would wake her up and they'd rectify the situation, but she wasn't and he didn't want to hurt her feelings. This was going to be a lot more difficult than he had initially thought.

He lay still, his mind trying to find a solution to the problem; if she didn't stop moving then he didn't know what he would do. This wasn't something he could fix himself while she were next to him and she'd made it clear the night before that she wasn't exactly open to offering herself as a solution. There was one other option, but she was too much of a lady for him to even think about suggesting that one. Trying to replace his thoughts with anything to distract him from the current situation, he remembered a few business deals he'd managed to put together at the barbecue. He quietly laughed to himself, no one could put together a deal like ole JR. Sue Ellen was only lightly sleeping and started to wake at the sound of his laugh, it was delightfully evil, he was very attractive when he was like this. She slowly turned over and faced him, "I love that laugh you know, there's something so appealing about a man who's in control", he hadn't realised that she was awake, had she been moving on purpose? "Oh, you know me, I'm always in control", she smiled at him, "mmhm and I love it", she moved her face toward his and kissed him "good morning" she whispered as they came apart, "good morning" he whispered and kissed her again. As she moved her leg, she could tell exactly how he was feeling and smiled smugly to herself; "I saw that smile. I'm glad to know that you're enjoying my pain". She laughed at his facial expression as he spoke, "well, it's not often that I get to enjoy the feeling of being in control in our relationship", he was about to speak when he was interrupted by the phone, "just let it ring" she didn't want to end their nice moment. He stopped himself from answering, he really didn't need to, there were other people in the house. The phone rang three more times and he got impatient, "what do we pay the staff for?" he grumbled and finally answered.

"Hello?" if he'd thought he was getting anywhere with their casual morning flirting, any chance of that was ruined when he heard the shrill voice on the other end of the line, "JR Ewing? What have you done to my daughter? I'd like to speak to her please, now!" Patricia sounded angry and even JR was a little scared, he silently handed the phone over. Sue Ellen had seen JR's face drop and then heard the all too familiar sound of her mother's voice, her stomach dropped as he handed her the phone. "Hello mama", she prepared herself for the verbal chastisement she was about to receive, "Sue Ellen, you better have a good explanation for why you're still at Southfork when you told me that you were staying at a hotel last night. I called the hotel and they informed me that you did not even return to collect your night things so I dread to think about what you slept in or where you slept. It's 7.30am on a Sunday, I can't imagine you're out of bed already, and JR handed you the phone very quickly, that makes me doubtful that you slept alone in a guest room. What were you thinking? You know how important it is that you act like a lady at all times, a small mistake could make you worthless and then you'd really regret it. I know what is best for you, and your behaviour last night and even right now is not acceptable. What do you think would happen to your reputation if word got out about this? I hope it's only innocent, but I've met JR, that man is not interested in keeping virtuous young ladies like yourself pure and chaste. He's a man and men are only interested in one thing and that is not something that unmarried ladies should be partaking in". Patricia finished speaking and Sue Ellen felt the return of all the guilt from the previous night, she had a valid reason for why she stayed at Southfork, but no reason for why she didn't send someone for her things and why she didn't stay in a guest room.

She shook off her feelings, she didn't actually do the things her mother was accusing her of and she shouldn't have to feel guilty for imaginary actions, "mama, yes I have a good explanation. At the barbecue last night a waiter accidentally spilled red wine on my clothes and I had to wait for the maid to wash and dry my clothes. I honestly didn't think of asking someone to go to my hotel and bring my things back here because I didn't plan on staying. JR and I fell asleep last night while he was keeping me company but I promise you, nothing happened. I know the lessons you taught me and I live by those lessons. You are reading too much into the situation, it's much more innocent than you think" she finished speaking and hoped that her mother believed her. She had changed a few details in the story because she really didn't feel like explaining the Marilee situation or why she was wearing JR's shirt, neither fact her mother would be able to know, she wasn't physically there. Patricia listened, her daughter appeared to be telling the truth, but she was still suspicious of the exact details, "kept you company? I dread to think about what that involved, I am not happy, but I will accept your explanation for now. If I were you I would make sure that no one hears about this and I expect that this will not happen again, you have an important reputation to keep. We'll talk tomorrow when you return home and I expect to contact you at your hotel tonight. Goodbye" she coldly ended the conversation and Sue Ellen felt terrible as she hung up the phone. JR had just witnessed first-hand how unfeeling and formal Sue Ellen's mother could be and the immediate affect her words had on her daughter, he understood exactly why she acted the way she did the previous night; he pulled her toward his chest and wrapped his arms around her.

She was calmed by their closeness despite the guilt that her mother had made her feel about this very situation. JR moved one hand from her back and began gently stroking her hair, "don't believe everything she says, remember, I love you and I intend to show you how much I love you", she smiled to herself as he reaffirmed his love for her, especially after the way she had acted last night, "I love you too" . She lifted her head from his chest and placed light kisses on his skin, slowly moving up toward his lips, "thank you, I needed this". She moved to look at the clock and noticed a neatly folded pile of clothing, the clothing she had been wearing yesterday, "JR? Did you put those there?" she motioned toward the bedside table, he glanced over at where she was pointing, he hadn't noticed the clothing when he'd woken up. "No, Teresa must have put them there after we fell asleep" she nodded and spoke, "JR? What are your parents going to think? I can only imagine that they'll come to the same conclusion as my mother. I don't want them to change their opinion about me. Maybe I should leave before everyone wakes up". JR laughed, she was always so self-conscious, almost too concerned about how other people perceived her, "darlin' we didn't do anything wrong, and even if we did, it's no one else's business. Stop feeling so guilty, you have no reason to. Besides, we've missed the window of time where you could leave the house before anyone wakes, Lucy will be downstairs watching cartoons and daddy will already be dressed and probably reading the newspaper, and family breakfast is at 8, so the table is already set. I'm afraid you're just going to have breakfast at Southfork" he grinned, he liked waking up with her and having breakfast together would be an added bonus. She was still slightly panicked about ruining her reputation with his family, but his words did reassure her a little bit. "Fine, but you have to take me back to my hotel this morning; I need to shower and change clothes before we do anything else today". She moved to get up, realising that he'd said breakfast was at 8am and it was 7.40am, she didn't want to be late to her first Ewing breakfast, that would just add extra embarrassment to the whole thing. JR thought about telling her they could shower together, but she already seemed on edge and he didn't want to push his luck, "I suppose we're getting up then?" he responded to her moving out of the bed, "I'll shower first and you can get dressed in here, or you can go to a guest bedroom if you'd like? There are extra toiletries in the guest room bathrooms". She thought about it for a minute and decided to get dressed and he would bring her an extra toothbrush, she didn't want anyone to see her in the hallway and ask her what was going on.

Dressed and ready for breakfast they walked downstairs.

To be continued…


	28. Breakfast

**Dallas, Texas**

Miss Ellie awoke to the sound of a telephone ringing; picking it up she realised that JR had already answered, she knew that she should hang up but the first words she heard sounded angry and she was intrigued, "JR Ewing? What have you done to my daughter? I'd like to speak to her please, now!" Miss Ellie had heard many people sound angry with JR, but none quite like this, she wondered what had happened. As soon as Sue Ellen answered the phone Miss Ellie hung up, she was surprised that Sue Ellen had stayed, but she didn't mind, Sue Ellen was a lovely girl and had been treated badly the previous night, she felt sorry for Sue Ellen for having to deal with this phone call now. As she readied herself for the day, she wondered about what had happened between JR and Sue Ellen that her mother was calling Southfork in a fit of rage. JR had a reputation, but Sue Ellen didn't seem like the type to stray from her proper upbringing, she couldn't imagine that Sue Ellen's mother had been completely justified in her anger, though maybe she had, JR could be rather persuasive when he wanted something. She wondered how Sue Ellen would act at breakfast and decided to welcome her as if nothing were wrong, she didn't want to assume anything other than what she knew, she just hoped that the rest of the family would have the same courtesy.

Teresa brought the food out to the patio and Jock assembled his plate, Bobby walked downstairs and collected Lucy from the den before they made their way out to the patio. "Morning daddy" Bobby greeted his father and Lucy hugged Jock, Jock greeted his youngest son and granddaughter and they began to discuss the barbecue. Miss Ellie arrived at breakfast and greeted her family, noticing the absence of JR and Sue Ellen. As they ate and talked Jock noticed that his eldest son was not present, "Ellie, where is JR? He knows that we eat at 8", Miss Ellie noticed Bobby laughing to himself, he knew exactly where JR was and what he was probably doing right now, "oh, I'm sure that he'll be down in a minute. Bobby, why are you laughing?" Bobby didn't think it was his place to say and replied "oh, I just realised that no one ended up in the pool yesterday, that has to be a first" he covered with a lie he hoped sounded convincing. Jock laughed at his sons comment, he was right, it was surprising, "everyone was suspiciously well behaved yesterday, that is quite unusual. Oh, except for that little argument between Martin Hurst's daughter and Sue Ellen, I never did like that girl". As he finished his sentence, JR walked outside, followed by Sue Ellen, noticeably still wearing yesterday's clothes, everyone was silent as they looked at the couple, "JR, Sue Ellen, come sit" Miss Ellie was trying her hardest to act as if there weren't anything unusual about Sue Ellen still being there. Bobby laughed at the change in atmosphere, it was obvious that his mother was being overly friendly and his father hadn't said a word, JR pulled out a chair for Sue Ellen and they sat. "Sue Ellen? Did you and uncle JR have a slumber party? I like slumber parties" Lucy broke the silence and Sue Ellen blushed, it was somewhat of a slumber party, but not what his parents would be assuming and a little different to what Lucy thought. JR was amused by Lucy's childish naivety and the strange reactions everyone was giving them, "that's exactly it Lucy, Sue Ellen stayed last night because her clothes were ruined by a bad woman, but we made it more fun by turning it into a slumber party". Sue Ellen was mortified at the way JR worded his sentence, it was filled with innuendo and would not help with convincing everyone of their innocence, she sat quietly and looked down at her plate, she didn't want to make eye contact with anyone. Jock smiled to himself, he knew his son, and Sue Ellen was very attractive, he could see why JR would have fun.

Miss Ellie wanted to make it more comfortable for Sue Ellen; she could tell that the poor girl was embarrassed by the attention being put on their previous night. She wasn't sure what had happened between her son and his girlfriend, but she didn't think it was here place to judge them, they were adults and last night had been exceptional circumstances. "Sue Ellen, JR told me that you have agreed to attend the Oil Barons Ball with him, have you selected a dress yet?" she switched the subject, trying to get everyone to move away from the awkwardness. Sue Ellen was thankful to Miss Ellie for taking the attention off the previous night and putting it onto something she could easily discuss, "oh, well I have a few dresses on hold at The Store in Austin, but my mother always likes to approve my evening gowns before I commit to one. Have you selected your dress?" Miss Ellie was not surprised to hear that Sue Ellen's mother had control over her clothing, she had sounded particularly controlling on the phone this morning, "no, not yet. I was going to ask you whether you'd like to come shopping with me tomorrow, Lucy needs a few new dresses too and she's always mentioning how fashionable you are. Isn't that right Lucy?" Lucy nodded, she would love to have Sue Ellen shop with them. Sue Ellen didn't hesitate, she liked Miss Ellie, "yes, I'd like that very much", they made their plans and breakfast ended; it had finished much better than it had started.

JR and Sue Ellen drove back to Sue Ellen's hotel in silence before JR finally spoke, "I'm sorry if that was uncomfortable for you, I didn't think anyone would say anything", she was more embarrassed than angry, "it's ok, you can't control the words of a child, trust me, I know. Besides, everyone else was very nice about it. I think your mama has her suspicions but didn't want to say anything, I am very thankful that she changed the subject though". JR smiled to himself, he was glad that she wasn't upset, hopefully the morning hadn't ruined the rest of the day. They arrived at her hotel and the front desk receptionist informed her that she had a stack of messages all saying the same thing, her mother had called four times the previous night and once that morning to ask whether she had returned, JR was shocked, Patricia was being extremely overprotective and possessive. Sue Ellen apologised for any stress her mother had caused and JR tipped the man for his services. They made their way upstairs to her hotel room and JR sat on the small couch while Sue Ellen went to shower.

JR read the coffee table book, the free magazine, looked out the window, and then looked at the clock, it had been 45 minutes and she was still in the bathroom. He wondered what was taking her so long and then decided that it was a woman thing and he probably didn't want to know. "Darlin'? Are you ok in there?" he knocked on the door and waited. She had almost forgotten that she had company and that her usual routine probably took longer than he was used to sitting down with nothing to do, she opened the door, in her towel and robe still, but her hair had been dried and curled and her makeup was laid out on the countertop. "I'm sorry, I realise this is probably taking a lot longer than you anticipated" she apologised and lightly kissed him, "keep me company while I do my makeup?" she returned to her makeup and started to apply it. JR thought she looked beautiful just showered and bare faced, but the process she was going through to make herself even more stunning fascinated him; he'd seen plenty of women in the morning without makeup, some pretty, others not so pretty, but he'd never taken the time to watch the transformation from private to public beauty. She realised about 5 minutes later that he hadn't said a word, she looked at him in the mirror reflection, he looked entranced, "JR? Are you ok?" He snapped out of his thoughts as she spoke, "yes, uh, I'm fine. I was just admiring your natural beauty", she smiled at his honest comment, "thank you. I'm almost done". She finished applying her setting powder, put away her makeup and looked at herself, "stunning" he whispered almost to himself, she turned around and smiled, "come on, there's one more thing left to do". She held up two dresses, "did you have any plans for today? Which dress would be more appropriate?" JR had no real plans for them, but liked the idea of her wearing the shorter pink A-line dress, she had lovely long legs and he liked when she showed them, "the pink one". She smiled to herself, somehow she'd known that he'd choose that one, it was a little more revealing than the other dress she had shown him. Gathering underwear, pantyhose and her shoes, she went into the bathroom and changed, once again leaving JR alone. He wished that she would have changed in the bedroom, he would have had a better opportunity to finish what they'd started the previous night, but he decided that now probably wasn't the right time.

She emerged from the bathroom and was happy to see the look on his face, she knew she looked good, but seeing his reaction made her feel even better. "So? What did you have planned for today?" JR thought for a minute and then decided, "well, we had a pretty busy day yesterday, so how about I take you to Highland Park Village, we'll have lunch and if you're good then maybe I'll buy you something. We can visit Lakeside Park this afternoon, it's beautiful there at this time of year", she agreed, glad that they were going to have a relaxing day. On their way out of the hotel she left a message with the front desk informing them of their plans and that she would be back later that night, she was sure her mother would call to check-up on her at some point.

As they walked around the upscale shopping mall, all the lovely items for sale enchanted Sue Ellen; she had always had an eye for fashion, but never the kind of money to indulge her fantasies. Patricia was very strict about how they spent their money; Sue Ellen had a wardrobe full of beautiful clothes, but it was a very carefully planned wardrobe, everything had a purpose, there were no items that were purchased just because Sue Ellen liked them. She sometimes received free clothing from her modelling shoots, but those were catalog clothes, not designer clothes; this was different to her usual shopping experience. JR enjoyed seeing Sue Ellen enthralled in the clothing, he usually hated shopping for long periods and never took women with him, usually he would have a sales assistant pick out items and he would try them all on at once. Seeing Sue Ellen examine each item and mentally picture how they would fit into her wardrobe was new and fascinated him, he enjoyed the pleasure it brought to her. They finished shopping, it had taken a little sweet-talking, Sue Ellen was happy to just look and imagine, but JR wanted to buy everything; she'd never had so much money spent on her in one day, it was a nice experience though and she was very grateful to him. They ate lunch and she thanked him again, she didn't know how she would be able to repay him for his kindness, she wasn't really able to give him anything that he didn't already have or couldn't get himself.

Exiting the shopping mall and driving the short distance to the park, they spent the rest of the afternoon walking and talking, just enjoying each other's company. Sue Ellen would have been happy just doing things like that all day, she didn't need to have JR spend money for her to want to be with him and she made sure he knew. They elected to have dinner away from Southfork and afterward JR brought her back to her hotel. She wasn't sure that she could face another round of awkward conversation trapped at a table with JR's family, though she would have to talk with Miss Ellie and Lucy the next day, but at least then she would have dresses to try on and that would lead to different conversations. As she prepared herself for bed, she felt lonely without JR by her side, their closeness the previous night was something she'd never experienced before and she didn't like going back to the way things were. Her mother had been stern with her about her boundaries earlier in the night, but she was beginning to have other ideas about what ladies should and should not do. She knew she wanted to marry JR one day, she just hoped that he had the same idea, because the loneliness she felt now was not something she wanted to feel forever.

To be continued…


	29. A Bump in the Road

**Austin, Texas**

"…and then Lucy, bless her heart, asked whether I slept over and likened it to a slumber party and JR did not help by basically telling everyone that I'd stayed over and we'd had fun, I was so embarrassed", Paula laughed at the mental image of the events unfolding. "You may laugh, but it was not funny at the time" Sue Ellen continued to tell her friend the story, she had to tell someone, she certainly wasn't going to tell her mother or sister, so she made Paula promise that she would keep everything a secret; she didn't want the details spread around. "So, how was the shopping trip with Miss Ellie and Lucy? Not that you needed to do any more shopping, it looks like JR bought you the whole mall", she was a little jealous of the attention JR paid to Sue Ellen, he was proving Paula wrong, she had assumed that he was a philanderer but everything she witnessed said the opposite. Though she was a little envious, she was glad that her friend had found a man who treated her well and she could tell that they were quickly falling in love. "Oh, that went very well actually, Miss Ellie is lovely and I have a suspicion that she may have had a word with Lucy, because she didn't mention anything about the weekend. We tried on a number of dresses, I didn't buy anything though, you know how my mother is. But Lucy wanted my help and she's so much more agreeable than Kristin is, she actually listens to my opinions, we had fun picking out and trying on the dresses. I wouldn't mind the Ewings being my family one day, they're very kind" Sue Ellen finished speaking and Paula smiled, she was happy that Sue Ellen was happy. "So, I've talked all about my weekend, how was yours?" she realised that she had probably neglected her friend a little bit. Paula laughed, "well, it was nowhere as exciting as yours was but…"

**Dallas, Texas**

JR sat in his office with Andy Bradley, Jordan Lee, Wade Luce and his father; they were discussing the particulars of the deal they had arranged at the barbecue. JR was pleased that his father was completely on-board with the way he had arranged everything, usually Jock was a little more fastidious about letting JR take control, but lately he'd eased up on him, JR had begun to live his life 'the right way' and he credited his relationship with Sue Ellen for the change in his sons behaviour. As the meeting ended, Jock suggested that they celebrate at the Cattlemen's Club; they left the office early and made their way over to the club to celebrate in true Texan style.

The afternoon turned into evening and the men continued to drink and talk, moving from oil to football to women. "JR is the luckiest of us all, young and unmarried, but Sue Ellen, she's a looker, those legs and that beautiful face, no wonder she's Miss Texas. Very lucky man you are JR", Andy complimented JR and the other men agreed, there was no harm in their conversation, just a bit of fun between the men. "Thank you gentlemen, she is, she definitely is. I'm not sure I like the idea of you all thinking about my girlfriend though" JR took another drink and Jock spoke, "oh come on JR, you gotta let us old men have something, we're not all as lucky as you are". JR grimaced at the way his father said it, he'd almost implied that Sue Ellen was on their minds more than their own wives, and Jock was his father, he didn't like the idea of his father thinking about his girlfriend like that, especially when JR wasn't even getting all of the real thing. The men laughed at JR's reaction, "don't worry JR, we'll look, but we'd never touch; only you get to do that. Say, is she as good as she looks? Just between us of course" Wade asked and the other men looked at JR intently, the men were drunk and probably wouldn't have been so blunt in their language if they were sober. JR began to get angry, Sue Ellen wasn't a tramp and he didn't like to hear her spoken about like that, "gentlemen, I don't think that's an appropriate question, Sue Ellen is a lady, not some cheap hussy. I will not speak about her in that way and I'd appreciate if you would stop thinking about her in that way too". They looked shocked, "it was only a bit of fun JR, lighten up", JR got up from the table, he was no longer in the mood to celebrate, "I don't think you'd like it if I asked you those questions about any of your wives, so please do not speak of Sue Ellen that way". He paused, "one day she will be my wife" he turned and left the table, angry that they had even thought of Sue Ellen that way and frustrated that he couldn't even do anything about it. Jock smiled, he knew that JR loved Sue Ellen and although it had come out at an inopportune time, he was still pleased that JR had serious intentions.

JR walked out of the club and hailed a taxi, he was drunk, angry and sexually frustrated, he needed satisfaction and going back to Southfork wouldn't do anyone any good. He gave the driver directions and soon arrived, he loudly banged on the front door, "It's JR! Open the door". She was surprised to hear his voice, lately he'd been neglecting what they had shared for so long. She hated that he seemed so committed to his relationship with Sue Ellen; she had always thought that she would make a good Ewing wife, but JR saw it differently. For now, she would settle for whatever she could get, opening the door, she wasn't surprised, he was drunk and dishevelled, she didn't even get a chance to speak before he pushed his way inside her apartment and began to kiss her roughly.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen left cheerleading practice with a few other girls, "are you sure you don't want to go bowling with us? Some of the guys from the football team will be there" Martha giggled as she spoke and the other girls followed; Sue Ellen actually liked bowling, she and Clint used to go bowling when they were first dating. "I don't think I should, it sounds like everyone has already paired off, I already have a boyfriend" she wished it were more of a casual activity, but what had been described sounded like a group date and she didn't want to hurt JR like that. "Sue Ellen, no one is looking for anything serious, it's just a fun night of bowling. Come on, I know you like it" Diane, another one of her teammates, tried to persuade her. "Are you sure? I don't want to feel out of place" she was hesitant, "yes, I promise, now come on", Sue Ellen decided that it would be fine, she wasn't planning on doing anything and knew that JR was just as committed to their relationship as she was.

Sue Ellen was having fun, there were a few girls who had coupled, but most of the girls were just having fun and enjoying the company of the football players. There was no harm in flirting, that's what cheerleaders and football players did, but Sue Ellen was being strictly friendly. Sue Ellen's game wasn't going well, she'd only managed to hit 3 or 4 pins her last 3 tries, "need some help?" she turned and looked up at Michael, a tall, muscular, football player. She laughed "I suppose I do, usually I'm quite good, but tonight…", he took the ball from her hand and demonstrated, "so your leg goes back like this and then you release the ball, ok?" he handed the ball back to her and she did as he had showed her, hitting a few more pins, but not all of them. "Good, but try moving your hand this way as you release the ball" he moved behind her and placed one hand on her waist and leaned down, moving his hand to her arm he took her hand and showed her how to swing the ball. Sue Ellen was conscious of how close their bodies were, she wasn't sure if he were being friendly or if it was something more, "ok, thank you, I think I've got it" she moved forward to throw the ball again and this time hit the remaining pins. "Fantastic, I knew you could do it" Michael congratulated her, truthfully he'd approached her because she was beautiful and he wanted to know whether she was interested, he'd never had much of an opportunity to speak with her before but giving her bowling advice seemed like a good opportunity. "Thank you" she smiled warmly at him, she was sure that he was just being friendly and there was no harm in being friendly toward him. "Can I buy you a soda?" he offered and they spent the rest of the game talking, she thought he was pleasant and sociable and he took her enthusiasm as a sign that she was interested in taking it further.

As they left the bowling alley, Michael took the opportunity, "Sue Ellen? It's still early; maybe we could go and get a drink or something?" she was a little confused, she'd enjoyed their talk, but she wasn't interested in spending any more time together. "Oh, I'm sorry, I can't, I've got an early class tomorrow" she did have an early class, but mostly she just didn't want to go anywhere with him alone. "Just one drink, an hour maximum, I promise" he pushed, "no, I'm sorry, I really shouldn't" she started to walk toward the rest of the girls; she was beginning to get uncomfortable being alone with him. As she turned, he pulled her back to him and kissed her, she was shocked and then angry, she'd never been like anything less than a lady, at least the disgusting John Thurman had taken her to dinner before he made any moves; she pulled away from him and slapped him. "Ouch, what was that for!" he yelled angrily at her as he rubbed his face, they now had the attention of everyone else in the group, "I have never felt so disrespected, I was being friendly and you take it as an opportunity to shove your tongue down my throat. Just leave me alone, please, just stay away from me" she quickly walked back to the rest of her friends, "you little tease! You led me on all night and then when I made a move you slap me. Maybe you should think about what you want before you act like a harlot!" he was yelling across the room at her now and everyone was looking at the two in disbelief. She was stunned and enraged by his words, "excuse me? Harlot? I was being friendly, like any normal person would. You approached me, you showed me how to throw the ball and then you stuck to me all night. I politely responded to you in a friendly manner, I did not lead you on and I did not act like a harlot. I have a boyfriend who is a hundred times more of a man than you are and he knows exactly how to treat a lady, there was zero chance of me leaving here with you tonight. I would look closely at your own actions before accusing other people" she was surprised by her outburst, usually she wouldn't act in such a bold manner but this had angered her. Exiting the building, the rest of the cheerleaders were supportive of Sue Ellen, "I can't believe it", "he's usually so nice", "I can't believe he would assume things like that", she heard the comments but she wasn't really listening. She was just shaken about the way she had been treated and hoped that the news never got back to JR, he was protective of her and she didn't want him to act irrationally, but she was also afraid that he wouldn't believe that she didn't lead Michael on, maybe he would think that she had betrayed their relationship. She began to feel guilty about something that wasn't even her fault.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR awoke feeling groggy and hungover but also aroused; he felt her placing light kisses down his chest, moving further south with each kiss. Not opening his eyes, he whispered Sue Ellen's name and imagined her beautiful body; realising that she was right there with him and he didn't need to imagine anything, he opened his eyes. It all came flooding back, it wasn't Sue Ellen at all, it was Julie. He tried to push her off him and stop her from going any further, but it was too late, she was good at what she was doing and he couldn't help but admit that he was enjoying it. It had been too long and Sue Ellen's insistence that they stay celibate until they were married had finally had unintended consequences. He felt guilty as the wonderful feeling washed over him and he screamed her name, it wasn't his girlfriend and he wasn't alone, he'd cheated on the woman he loved and there was nothing he could do to take it back.

To be continued…


	30. Self-Condemnation

**Dallas, Texas**

JR hadn't communicated with Sue Ellen all week, he felt guilty for what he'd done to their relationship and feared that she would be able to tell that something was wrong if she heard his voice. He couldn't even send flowers because the written cards always sounded remorseful instead of loving. He'd never been in a proper, committed relationship and now understood why. He liked women and he liked options, he didn't like being told no or feeling bad for wanting what he wanted. No commitment and having as many women as he liked was his ideal way of life. There was a huge conflict though, he did love Sue Ellen and he'd never felt this guilty about anything. He'd never known what the guilt of cheating felt like because he'd never been in such a serious relationship, with most of his previous women he never considered any feelings other than his own and it was a new feeling for him to feel remorseful for what he'd done, especially how much he'd enjoyed doing it. He didn't want her to find out and break up with him, he wanted her to be his wife one day, but it wouldn't be right to propose now. If he proposed now, it would be almost as if he were only doing it out of guilt and shame, because he wanted her in his bed so much that he'd marry her to get it. He couldn't do that to her, he couldn't do that to their relationship. He wanted to marry her because they were in love and were ready to make the next move, not because he was secretly trying to make up for his mistakes.

"JR?" Jock tried to get his attention but could tell that JR didn't even realise he was standing there, something was wrong and it had all started at the Cattlemen's Club. Jock and the others hadn't meant to offend JR and Jock wasn't even sure that that's what the issue was, something was bothering JR but he really didn't know what it was. "JR!" he raised his voice and JR snapped into reality, "oh, I'm sorry daddy. What is it you were saying?" Jock realised that his mind was completely somewhere else, "JR, I don't know what your problems are and I'm not sure that I want to know. But please, fix them, you're no use when you're like this", JR's eyes had moved toward the desk as his father spoke and Jock could tell that something was weighing on his mind. "Do you want to talk about it?" JR shook his head no but still didn't seem to be completely paying attention, "JR, go home, or wherever it is that your problem can be fixed. I need you here as a partner, not a deadweight" Jock left the office and JR took his advice, leaving the building in a daze.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen was beginning to worry, she hadn't heard from JR all week and was scared that he was angry with her because of Michael. JR had ways of knowing things and she was sure that he knew by now. As she left her monthly Miss Texas schedule meeting, she decided that it was up to her to make the first move and apologise for her actions, though it wasn't really her fault. She had a grand opening ceremony to attend in Dallas later in the week and she would extend the trip and go to talk with JR; she hated that they weren't communicating.

**Dallas, Texas**

Two days later and still no message from JR, she boarded a plane with the Miss Texas pageant representative and they flew to Dallas. She performed her duties and smiled as if nothing were wrong, but deep down she was preparing herself for an argument. It was a Thursday afternoon and JR would probably be at work, she got in a taxi and made her way to the Ewing Oil office building. "I'm here to see Mr JR Ewing, he's not expecting me, but if he's busy I'll wait," she told the receptionist who called through to JR's secretary, "I'm sorry Miss Shepard, Mr Ewing has left for the afternoon", Sue Ellen was disappointed. She was about to leave when Jock exited his office and spotted Sue Ellen standing in the reception area, "Sue Ellen, how nice to see you in Dallas again. JR's not here, I sent him home. Say, you wouldn't have any idea why he's been acting so strangely the past few days would you?" Sue Ellen's face dropped at Jock's comment, JR had been acting strangely, he must know what had happened. "Well not exactly, but I'm afraid that he knows something and isn't happy about it. That's why I'm here, I wanted to explain before he found out from someone else, but it seems as that he is already aware" she looked upset and Jock felt for her, whatever it was, she was obviously remorseful. "Come with me, I'm heading back to Southfork now; JR should be home soon, I'll make sure you two get to talk" he escorted her out of the building and she began to think of every possible scenario.

Miss Ellie was outside having tea with Mavis, she was surprised when JR arrived home, "JR? You're home early. Are you alright? Were you not feeling well? You've been looking a little sickly all week. You go upstairs and I'll have Teresa bring you some chicken soup" JR wasn't surprised at his mother's reaction, he probably did look awful, he felt awful, unfortunately though, this was not something that chicken soup could fix. He didn't feel like arguing and accepted his mama's orders, he went upstairs and changed into a pair of blue, striped pajamas, maybe a nap would do him good. A short while later, another car pulled into the driveway and two occupants walked toward the patio, "Sue Ellen, what a lovely surprise" Miss Ellie warmly greeted her but Sue Ellen was still not at ease. She saw JR's car in the driveway, but JR wasn't outside; Jock quietly excused himself from the group and went inside to get a drink. "Now dear, you arrived with my husband and you look awfully worried, I'm afraid to ask about the reason for your visit" Sue Ellen felt calmed by Miss Ellie's way of speaking and explained the general reasoning behind her visit, but didn't go into the details of why JR would be upset with her. "Well, he hasn't looked well all week; Sue Ellen, I trust that you are here with good intentions, he's upstairs, you may go and see him, I like you a lot and wouldn't want this silly argument to have bigger consequences than necessary" she squeezed the young girls hand before she walked into the house.

She gently knocked on the door but received no answer, "JR?" she quietly spoke but still received no answer; slowly opening the door, her heart broke as she looked at him asleep in bed; he looked so sad and lonely. Entering the room, she took a seat and watched him sleep. There was a light knock at the door and she went to answer it, Teresa had prepared chicken soup and Sue Ellen thanked her before taking the dish and placing it on the side dresser. JR began to wake; the sound of voices was so near, almost as if she were in the room with him. As she placed the soup down he realised that she was there, "I'm sorry" he whispered, still in a dazed state. She was confused about why he was apologising, but all she really wanted was for him to forgive her, "shh, I'm sorry" she stroked his hair, he looked like a little boy and she felt terrible, she just wanted to comfort him. Her hand rhythmically stroking his hair calmed him, but her words confused him, she was sorry? He opened his eyes and smiled, she still looked gorgeous, probably a hundred times better than he looked right now, but something in her eyes said she was remorseful. Sitting up he noticed the bowl of soup, he really did enjoy Teresa's chicken soup and for some reason, he wanted to eat it now even though he had more important things to think about. She saw him eyeing the bowl of soup and laughed quietly, "you always did like a home cooked meal", taking the spoon she began to feed him. "Sue Ellen, I'm not a child, I can feed myself", she shook her head "shh, I want to say I'm sorry, besides, I like feeding you", she sat on the edge of the bed and they were both in a daze, neither speaking, just focusing on the straightforward task. As he finished the bowl of soup, she placed the empty bowl on the dresser and there was an awkward silence between them, "can I speak first?" she finally broke the silence.

He was still a bit confused about why she was here and why she wanted to apologise; she should be furious at what he'd done, though he'd made sure that Julie told no one and he hadn't told anyone, so she really wouldn't know about his actions. Sue Ellen began to speak, telling the complete and honest truth about what had happened and why she felt so guilty, "so you see, I blame myself for getting into that situation. I wanted to see you and tell you first, but it appears that you already know. I'm so sorry, please forgive me" she looked him in the eye, but he looked away; he wasn't as angry with her as she had assumed, it sounded like she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He would have to have his private detective look into this Michael fellow though, he deserved to be taught a lesson on respect. JR couldn't forgive himself for betraying their relationship though, his actions were so much worse than hers and looking into her eyes was too much. "Darlin', I forgive you. But please, listen to me, there's something I need to tell you too", she was relieved at his words, like a weight had been lifted, but then he finished his sentence and she suddenly felt terrible again. "Darlin' I made a mistake and I have regretted it since the moment it happened. I went out with daddy and some of the boys from the cartel to celebrate a deal we just signed, we were drinking and they were talking about how good looking you are and then I started thinking about you, because you are, you're gorgeous. So anyway, we were drinking heavily and as I left I bumped into a girl that I used to know…" he'd changed a few facts because he could see the way the story was affecting her, it was breaking her heart to think about what happened, "it was one kiss and I regretted it, I am so sorry. I love you and I don't want this to ruin us", he just couldn't tell her the truth, it was too hard. She could see the remorse on his face and she had just confessed to kissing another man, though their situations were very different, they had both strayed and had both felt bad about it. "JR, look at me. I forgive you. I will never again do anything to disrespect our relationship and I expect the same from you. Let's just forget that these two things happened and move on" he was still weary, she wasn't mad and he hadn't told her the whole truth, but she was suggesting forgetting everything which was exactly what JR wanted to do. "I promise, that was the first and last time. Now, come here, you're much too far away from me" he opened his arms and she hugged him, leaning against him feeling safe in his arms.

**Austin, Texas**

It was Sunday afternoon and Michael was driving back to campus, slowing his car as he heard a police siren he began to panic, he had been speeding a little bit, but it wasn't anything serious. "Sir, please step out of the vehicle", the police officer checked his licence and registration and then 'noticed' a small bag of marijuana, and Michael began to panic as the officer found drugs in his car, drugs that did not belong to him. This would not be good for his football career.

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen had been extra attentive to JR the past few days; he was beginning to like the power that she allowed him when she was feeling guilty. Maybe he should have made a bigger deal out of it than he had, maybe he shouldn't have told her about his indiscretion, he could have used the situation to his advantage so much more. The phone rang and JR answered, "Mr Ewing, everything is complete as per your instructions", JR grinned to himself, nobody messed with a Ewing and got away with it.

To be continued…


	31. Fidelity and Infidelity

**Austin, Texas**

The next few weeks passed and their relationship returned to relative normality. In the back of her mind she was a little upset that he'd also betrayed their relationship, but she saw that he was sorry and forgave him. They had both strayed and she couldn't really be mad at him when she blamed herself for allowing herself to get into a bad situation. Luckily, she hadn't even seen Michael around; there was a rumour spreading that he'd been kicked off the football team, but there was no official announcement. She didn't care about the details, she was just glad to be rid of him.

The Oil Baron's Ball was to be held in mid-November and she was excited, she'd never been to a ball before. Of course, there had been her high school prom, but prom was more dress-up and pretend you're someone, rather than actually being someone. Now, she was Miss Texas and girlfriend of millionaire JR Ewing. Her mother had selected her dress and they had a few jewellery pieces on hold but hadn't bought anything yet. She hoped that the Oil Baron's Ball would end better than the barbecue did, Marilee would definitely be at the ball and she wanted to avoid any unnecessary drama. However, the events of the end of the barbecue had allowed her and JR to move further with their relationship and she quite enjoyed that aspect. As she returned to the sorority house, she was surprised to find a bouquet of yellow roses and a gift-wrapped box waiting for her, JR had sent a lot of flowers at the beginning of their relationship, but lately he hadn't been sending as many. She took the two upstairs to open the gift in private. As she untied the ribbon and opened the box she was enchanted, there was a diamond necklace with matching earrings and bracelet; it must have cost thousands, she still wasn't used to the way he spent money so easily, but she definitely liked the way it made her feel. There was no note, but she assumed it had to be a gift for the Oil Baron's Ball; it was fancy, very expensive jewellery, not everyday jewellery. She didn't feel right keeping such expensive items in the sorority house and instead brought them to her mother's house to keep in their safe. Seeing the amount of money JR spent on Sue Ellen brought Patricia great joy, everything was working out wonderfully, they were serious and every time she spoke to JR, she got the vibe that he intended to make Sue Ellen a Ewing one day. Sue Ellen may not be the failure of the Shepard daughters after all.

After calling JR to thank him for the jewellery, she returned to college. Entering the sorority house she noticed orange and black papers everywhere, she picked one up and realised it was a poster invitation announcing a Halloween party. 'Delta Sigma Phi Haunted House. October 31st. Join us if you dare' it didn't need any further explanation. Patricia had allowed Sue Ellen to trick-or-treat until the year her father left, after that, she pushed her agenda on Sue Ellen, young ladies did not beg for candy on the streets, it didn't matter if the other girls were doing it, Sue Ellen was not allowed to. She had been upset for a while, but then had accepted it, her mother had so many ideas and methods, it was much easier to just agree and give-in than it was to argue. She'd thought that she'd missed out on Halloween forever, or at least until she had children of her own; then she started college and all of a sudden, Halloween was a thing that people celebrated. This was a little different though, there was no trick-or-treating and if there was candy, it was usually combined with some variety of alcohol, the girls would use Halloween as an excuse to dress in less than what was normally socially acceptable and the guys had no problems with that tradition. Sue Ellen had decided in her freshman year that Halloween was her favourite party of the college social calendar; only winning the national championships came close to the party that Halloween guaranteed. She'd invite JR and they'd party on her turf, it was a lot different to the world that JR lived in and she was excited to share the experience with JR, especially since she was a senior and this was her last chance to attend such a party. If she went after she'd graduated, it would seem weird, especially since she believed she'd be a married woman by the time next Halloween came around, if not married, then engaged. Ladies with a Mrs in front of their name did not attend college parties, though JR was many years out of college and he would be attending with her, but it was different for men. She laughed to herself as she thought about JR at a college party, for some reason she couldn't imagine him there, despite the fact that she had heard stories of his college days. That was when he'd supposedly perfected his technique with women, he was probably the kind of fraternity guy that she didn't like, the playboy who didn't care about a girl's feelings, just that he was satisfied by the end of the night. She'd managed to avoid too many run-ins with that kind of man, but she laughed at the fact that she now intended to marry that guy. Walking to her room and finding an envelope, she addressed to JR at Southfork, she folded the poster and wrote a note on the back, the side he would see when he opened the letter, 'You promised me that one day you'd make me a queen. Trial run? xx Sue Ellen' she left her room and mailed the letter.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR was distracted by Julie's presence in the office, he couldn't ask her to leave, she was Jock's trusted secretary and it wouldn't be right, but seeing her constantly only reminded him of his actions. He'd forgiven himself and was sure that no one would ever know, but he still didn't like the continual reminder of his biggest failing in their relationship. He regretted not punishing Sue Ellen more for her behaviour, it was twisted, but he always felt better when he took his anger out on someone else. Too much time had passed now though and it would be unjustifiable for him to start treating her badly because he was punishing himself, he did have a little bit of self-awareness. There was a knock at the door, "JR? Did you need anything before I leave?" Julie was trying to break down the wall that JR had built, she'd never seen him like this before and knew exactly what the problem was, Sue Ellen. The girl was perfect, everything JR would want in a wife; Julie hated that, she'd always seen herself as the perfect woman for JR, but apparently she was only good enough to spend occasional afternoons and nights with, there was never even a hint of anything more from JR. Sue Ellen possessed the right breeding and social skills to be a Ewing wife, but there was one thing that JR wasn't getting from her; she planned to use that to break down the barrier, she wanted him and she knew exactly how much he wanted what she could give him, he'd told her in both words and actions. "Oh, no thank you Julie, you may go home", there was something she could do for him, he was a man with needs, but he didn't want to feel any worse than he already did. Instead of leaving, Julie shut the door and walked toward his desk, slowly unbuttoning her top button to expose a little cleavage, "are you sure" she leant down toward him.

Why, why couldn't she just take no for an answer? He didn't have a strong sense of self-control in that area, business, yes, women, no. "Uh, Julie, I said you could leave", he was trying his hardest to refrain; well, not really, it was more of a token gesture. She didn't take any notice of his words, his body spoke well enough for him and she continued to unbutton her shirt, tossing it aside before moving her hands to the zipper on his pants. The door was closed and the office was empty, there was no risk of being caught, he tried to control himself but it had been so long and he was really not used to going this long without. Thoughts of punishing Sue Ellen entered his mind, he would never punish her physically, she was a lady and was certainly not into that kind of thing, but Julie, Julie was more than willing and he would be a fool to hold onto that anger with such an opportunity being presented to him now, or so he reasoned. Pushing her off him for a moment, he cleared his desk, "lie down!" he commanded and she did exactly as he said, she knew she'd gotten what she wanted and couldn't wait.

**Austin, Texas**

"Are you sure you won't come to the party? Most of the team will be there, it's completely just a friendly thing" Martha pushed her again for an answer, Sue Ellen was too cautious sometimes, "no, I really shouldn't. The last time I attended one of these friendly get-togethers with the football team I ended up having to grovel to my boyfriend for over a week. It's not worth it. I'd rather socialise with my sorority sisters tonight, sorry" she apologised again and walked back to the house; she wanted JR forever and wasn't going to let some silly mistake jeopardise their relationship again.

To be continued…


	32. Second Thoughts

**Dallas, Texas**

JR reasoned with himself, his actions were borne out of desperation, a need for physical attention, there was no emotion attached to them. He still loved Sue Ellen and intended to marry her one day, marriage would fix everything, she'd finally be his wife and he wouldn't have to seek affection elsewhere. Besides, what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her; this could actually improve their relationship, he was satisfied and she didn't have to keep telling him no every time he made a slightly suggestive move.

Teresa brought the mail outside to the patio; JR looked through the pile, a few bank statements and a car registration reminder, then a letter that had suspiciously familiar handwriting. Opening the envelope and reading the statement he was slightly confused, he unfolded the paper and laughed, it finally made sense, king and queen suited them, "excuse me mama" he got up from the table and walked to the phone, "I'd like the number for a costume shop in Austin please" he waited as his call was transferred. "Yes, that will be fine, delivery this afternoon would be perfect", he finished the phone call and grinned, he was sure she'd be as confused as he was at the beginning, but then she'd like it.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen studied for two hours and then felt burnt out, she needed a break, "I'm going for a walk, would you like to come?" she directed her question at Paula who looked equally as tired, "sure, anything to get away from medieval literature" Paula laughed and the two left the house. They took a leisurely walk to the park near campus and returned an hour later. Paula laughed out loud when she saw the strange man standing outside their sorority house, the man was middle-aged and wore a royal herald costume, "Paula…" she paused as she saw what her friend was giggling about, "why is there a town crier outside our sorority house?" Paula laughed, "it's like my medieval literature paper came to life. I do wonder why he's here though", the two walked toward the house and the man recognized Sue Ellen as the girl he was supposed to announce to, he remembered her face from when she was crowned Miss Texas, in his line of work, anyone with a crown was worth noticing. "Hear ye, hear ye, I cometh bearing a response to an invitation. A Mr JR Ewing graciously accepts the opp'rtunity to be king to thy queen. As a token of his appreciation, he offers this crown and sceptre to you milady" the man handed Sue Ellen the sceptre and placed the crown on her head as she giggled, she hadn't expected JR to go this far. Paula was amused, a small crowd had gathered to watch, this was definitely better than writing an essay. They thanked the man and made their way inside, allowing their giggles to get louder as they entered the house, the other girls looked a little confused but were used to Sue Ellen getting special attention and assumed it was one of those times again. "I'd better call JR, he'll complain to the company that their service wasn't right if I don't" she dialled Southfork, hoping that he would be home.

**Dallas, Texas**

It had been a week since Sue Ellen had invited him to the Halloween party, at first, he was excited, but then he remembered his own time in college, the way he and his fraternity brothers treated some of the girls was not the way he would want anyone treating Sue Ellen. There was one girl in particular that reminded him of the situation with Sue Ellen, her name was LeAnn Nelson and she was just a naïve young girl when JR had met her. JR had sweet-talked her into bed and it was great, until she came to him and told him that she was pregnant. No way in hell was he going to be a father in college, especially to an illegitimate child with some country girl; he couldn't even guarantee that he was the father. He'd dealt with that problem, but thinking of it now only heightened his fears about Sue Ellen being alone at college. Bobby was also in college now and JR had heard stories, things had not changed much since he was a student. It was something that he'd never even considered before, Sue Ellen lived on campus and attended parties like this all the time, he hated the idea of any other man seeing her the way he did. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea for them to go to this party, maybe it wasn't a good idea for her to go to any parties without him. He'd talk to her at dinner and try to persuade her to see things his way, if she didn't, he'd have to take it into his own hands, he already had her activities being somewhat monitored, but he would have to increase his surveillance if she wasn't going to listen to reason.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen prepared for their dinner date, JR tried to make sure they saw each other at least twice a week, usually Wednesday nights for dinner in Austin and he'd fly her to Dallas for the weekend when possible. She was happy with the direction their relationship was going, they had a few social events coming up and he'd started dropping hints about her being his wife in the future. She didn't expect a proposal before graduation, but she had no definite plans after graduation except for competing in the Miss America pageant, she was open to anything he may have planned for the next year and hopefully the rest of their lives.

As they arrived at the Driskill Hotel, she laughed, they'd been there on their first date and she'd been disappointed when she'd realised that she'd been there before, little did she know the date JR had planned was much different to any she had experienced before. Entering the building they walked toward the Driskill Grill, the hotels five star restaurant, "hm, so we're eating with everyone else tonight?" she joked and he laughed, "I like showing you off", the hostess showed them to their table and they looked at the menus. As they ate their food and talked, JR tried to find the right time to make his concerns known, "so, do you have a plan for Halloween night? It's on a Tuesday this year, that doesn't matter to me, no one will be attending classes on Wednesday, but you have to work don't you? Do you think you'll fly back or stay here and fly out the next morning?" she'd mentioned Halloween, there was no way he could answer the question without stating his opinion. "Darlin', I was thinking, how about you and I just celebrate somewhere in private? I can organize a haunted house tour for us if you really want to go to one and we don't have to worry about being crammed in a fraternity house with hundreds of other people", she listened to his words and was overcome by confusion, "uh JR? Why? Isn't the point of a Halloween party to celebrate with everyone else who is also dressed up? I'd feel so silly if it were just the two of us alone in costume somewhere. Besides, the annual Halloween party isn't really something that you say no to, everyone will be there. Hold on, why am I explaining this? You weren't in college that long ago, don't tell me that you never partied?" she was perplexed, he was definitely a partier in college, even now; he didn't shy away from attention, his suggestions made no sense to her.

JR felt backed into a corner, he hadn't expected her to be so against his suggestion, maybe he was going to have to spell out his concerns, he hoped that she understood where he was coming from. "Well, yes, that's actually why I'm suggesting we celebrate alone. I remember how these things are, one minute you're dancing with me, the next you're alone with some other guy and he's taking full advantage of you. I worry about you, do you understand that? Not only on Halloween, but all the time, Sue Ellen, you're absolutely breathtaking and I know how men's minds work, especially young, single men, I was one not that long ago. I don't like the idea of anyone trying to take advantage of you" he finished speaking and looked at her, trying to gauge her reaction. She was surprised, she didn't realise how much thought he'd put into imagining the worst case scenario, she wasn't sure if she should be flattered or offended. "JR, you realise that I had a life before you right? Men have always paid attention to me, but that doesn't mean that I'm not aware of it and can't handle myself. I distinctly remember a few times where you tried to move further than I was comfortable with, did I give in though? No. I think I deserve more credit than you are giving me, I'm not naïve, I know exactly how these things work, I've been in college for four years and I've lived with my mother my whole life, I know exactly what men want, but that doesn't mean that anyone is getting it. JR, not even you are that lucky, how could you think that I'd just allow myself to be taken advantage of by some random man? Do you not trust me at all?" she was upset, this was not how JR had planned the conversation. He sighed, "I'm sorry, I suppose it came out wrong, I just meant that I worry about you, not that I don't trust you. We'll do what we originally planned. But if anyone makes a move toward you I will not be held accountable for my actions, you're all mine and I feel protective of you, other people need to understand that. I didn't mean to upset you" he tried his hardest to smooth things over; he didn't want to ruin their evening. Somewhere in her mind she was a little flattered that he cared so much, though he sometimes came across a little strong, "it's ok, I understand. I wouldn't like it if we were at a party and random girls were throwing themselves at you, I appreciate where you're coming from", that was enough for JR, he wanted to move on and salvage their evening, "good, now let's order dessert".

To be continued…


	33. Halloween

**Dallas, Texas**

JR sat on the Ewing jet as he flew toward Austin, thinking about what he hoped the night would bring. Though he was satisfied with Julie, he wanted Sue Ellen even more. Something inside him was motivated by the chase; it was as if he always wanted what he couldn't have just because it was unattainable. It didn't matter that he had Julie to fulfil his physical needs, mentally he was caught up in the want for Sue Ellen. He thought about his own time in college, rarely did he attend a party without hooking a girl for the night; tonight he was going to be right back there, he hoped that his mentality stayed sane, he didn't want to scare Sue Ellen with who he used to be.

He changed into his king costume, looked at his appearance and laughed; he wasn't sure what he'd gotten himself into. He hadn't properly dressed up for Halloween since he was a child, in college they'd been pretty casual with Halloween, a mask and maybe a funny hat, people took it more seriously now, he'd even hired a costume because he didn't own anything remotely 'royal' looking. Even in his everyday life, he barely wore anything other than his conservative wardrobe of suits and dress-shirts, maybe the occasional polo shirt, but never t-shirts or anything influenced by fashion trends. He had accessories to match the events he attended, neckerchiefs for rodeos and barbecues, tuxedos for more formal occasions; he even had a safari jacket for hunting trips, but something that 'costumey' and Halloween appropriate was not in his wardrobe. He did look pretty good in his costume though, he'd made sure to choose the least garish one, a plain black pair of pants with a fancy red and gold shirt, crown and robe. If he looked this good, he couldn't wait to see his queen.

**Austin, Texas**

Every bedroom door in the sorority house was open and girls were moving in and out of each other's rooms, borrowing last minute accessories and makeup items from each other. The atmosphere was electric, everyone loved Halloween, it was an excuse to dress up and have fun in an informal way. Some of the girls were dressed rather provocatively, but Sue Ellen retained her ladylike appearance while in costume, she knew it was better for her to dress safe than have JR get upset because she wasn't publicly appropriate. She'd worked out that JR had no problem with trashy women, but he wouldn't stand for that in the women he cared about, she didn't want an argument, just a fun night.

She'd co-ordinated her costume colours with JR, though hadn't seen his costume yet, she wore a red dress with gold detailing, carried the sceptre and wore the crown that he'd had delivered to her personally. The housemother called the girls to tell them that that they were taking pictures downstairs, they always did so before a big event, pictures of past members hung on the walls in the main room, it was tradition to document the group's activities. Paula was dressed as a hula girl, her costume much more revealing than Sue Ellen's; Paula had always been a little more daring than Sue Ellen had, they balanced each other well, Sue Ellen and Paula were more than roommates, they were best friends. After they took group pictures, the girls dispersed, some mingled downstairs, some left the house to go visit their friends and some went back upstairs to put final touches on their costumes. Sue Ellen and Paula walked back upstairs, "are you sure you won't need any of these?" Paula waved the small box in front of Sue Ellen's face and she blushed, "Paula! Anyone could walk past and our door is open. No thank you, I don't plan on doing anything that would require those. Now, put them away" she shooed Paula's hand away, embarrassed about the openness of the conversation and the way Paula flaunted that she didn't plan on spending the night alone. Paula giggled as she teased Sue Ellen, she loved to make her prudish friend squirm, "Sue Ellen, you're so easy to rile. Haven't you heard? There's a revolution happening, we're no longer tied to just one man. Besides, I seem to remember a party or two where you didn't plan on spending the night in your own bed" she grinned as Sue Ellen looked uncomfortable. "I'm only joking, I know you're a good girl, but if I'm not here when you get back, don't wait up" she winked and Sue Ellen finally laughed, her friend knew exactly how to agitate her. She was right though, as much as she liked to think of herself as the perfect lady, there were times where she strayed far from that ideal. "Sue Ellen, your boyfriend is downstairs" a voice in the hallway distracted her from their conversation, "are my cheeks flushed?" she didn't want to explain to JR why she was blushing. She calmed herself and made her way downstairs.

JR watched as she descended the staircase, she was perfect, a lady in all aspects of her appearance, there were many girls in costumes less ladylike and while JR could definitely appreciate them, he would never want anyone else to see Sue Ellen dressed like that. He walked toward the staircase and kissed her, "beautiful" he paused before finishing "a pageant queen and a royal queen, perfect, just perfect". She was surprised at how he was looking at her; his mood was much more romantic than their surroundings, "you look very handsome, my king" she smiled and kissed him again, he had melted her and she felt wonderful. "Shall we go?" he took her arm and they left the house.

The fraternity house was decorated with cobwebs, spiders, skeletons, headstones, and looked just like a haunted house; they must have had help with decorating because the decorations were everywhere and were impressive. Walking inside, JR was reminded of his own college days, he was older and wiser, but he still had that JR Ewing touch. He spotted the refreshments table and the big bowl of 'blood', he laughed, some things never changed, the 'fruit punch' was the ultimate key to making girls friendly. "Let's get a drink and then dance" Sue Ellen spoke first and JR smiled, he didn't even have to push her; though she was a little eager, he didn't want to think about the previous men she'd been to these parties with, he couldn't help but feel a little jealous. They walked around the house admiring the decorations and Sue Ellen introduced JR to some of her classmates, most people already knew of JR, but he still met a few new ones. He didn't like how the football players looked at her, his own brother Bobby was a football player and he'd slept with almost every cheerleader, JR knew the rules that cheerleaders and football players operated under and he hated to think any of those guys even dared to consider Sue Ellen as their next conquest.

The music changed and Sue Ellen pulled JR onto the dance floor, she could tell as they walked around and mingled that he was getting a little jealous of the attention she received from some of the guys, it had never bothered her before, just a little harmless flirting, but she sensed that JR was a little jealous and protective. "Are you having fun?" she questioned him as she remembered how he'd tried to change their plans for tonight, "I am. It actually reminds me a lot of my own time in college," he laughed and moved closer to her, he wanted everyone to know that she was his and his alone; he had terrible jealousy when it came to other men and witnessing their looks. Sue Ellen smiled and then got an idea, "you know, I've only ever heard stories about the great JR Ewing, I'm almost sad that I wasn't there", JR laughed and thought about it, she would probably have ended up hating him if they'd gone to college together. He would have sweet-talked her into bed and then dumped her when he'd finished, that's just what he did and for some reason, none of the girls minded, in fact, it made him more popular and his list even longer. "What's so funny?" she was confused, her statement wasn't a joke, "darlin', you would have hated me if we'd gone to college together", she laughed and understood. They weren't exactly each other's type if you just looked at the situation; their circumstances in life accounted for part of their relationship, any earlier and they would have been completely wrong for each other. "Mhm, I suppose it's good that you're a little older than me then, because I wouldn't want anyone else" she moved closer to him and kissed him, it was brief but passionate and left JR wanting more. "Maybe if you're good, I'll let you experience a little of the old JR," he whispered in her ear as she pulled away and she felt shivers down her spine, he was so sexy when he did that, "let's go get a drink" she suggested though she had already had several.

JR went to get drinks for them and Sue Ellen talked to a few people, some guys and some girls. A new song started and a few of the group went to dance, "Sue Ellen?" Paul, a tall, handsome basketball player held his hand out; she would have felt rude saying no, so she accepted. The song wasn't slow or intimate and they danced fast, but JR did not like seeing her with any other man, no matter how innocent it was. Placing their drinks on a table, he walked onto the dancefloor just as the song ended and a new one started, Sue Ellen didn't notice JR walking toward her and continued to dance with Paul. The two danced and as she twirled JR grabbed her hand and pulled her toward him, switching her from being Paul's dance partner to his. "Hey! We were dancing!" Paul was a little annoyed, he was enjoying being with Sue Ellen, she was pretty and not exactly sober, "yea, you were, but now we are" JR spun her away from Paul before she even knew what was happening. "JR! It was one dance" her voice came out angrier and more annoyed than she actually was; she actually rather liked seeing JR get jealous. Listening to her tone of voice, JR decided there was only one way to fix the situation, "I told you, I can't be held accountable for my actions in situations like these" he grinned smugly and kissed her with fire and passion, she secretly enjoyed every bit of his jealousy.

The night progressed as they danced, drank and mingled, JR really did not appreciate the looks Sue Ellen attracted which only made him pull her closer and act more affectionately than he usually would in public. He needed people to know that they were together; he just couldn't stand the other guys thinking that she was available or not caring that she already had a boyfriend. She was enjoying the party, socialising with her friends and having JR so focused on her, she didn't even care that he was motivated by jealousy, it was flattering how much he wanted people to know that they were a couple. As they made their way over to a seated area, Sue Ellen spotted Paula getting very close with Tom, she giggled as she remembered their conversation earlier, sometimes she couldn't believe how open Paula was, she'd probably end up hearing all about it tomorrow. "What's so funny?" JR noticed her giggling for no apparent reason and followed her eyes, she was watching her roommate kiss some guy, it wasn't funny, so she had to have another reason, "oh, uh, nothing. I just remembered something, nothing you need to worry about". JR wasn't convinced but didn't care enough to ask for an explanation, right now he just wanted her, "you know, everyone else seems to be enjoying something that we're not" he sat down and pulled her onto his lap. She liked where this was going, "and what would that be?" she settled into a comfortable position and ran her fingers across the back of his neck, sending shivers up his spine, igniting his desire. "This", he cupped her cheek and brought her lips to his, he needed her, he couldn't deal with anyone else even thinking they had a chance, she was his and everyone was going to know it. She was glad that they were still in a public area as his hands roamed her body and their tongues danced around each other, she would have given him a lot more if they were alone, though her conscious mind realised that she shouldn't, her physical actions didn't match her thoughts. She was enjoying it and she didn't care that it wasn't very proper behaviour, especially in public. JR was pleased, he could feel her resolve crumbling and her desire taking over, if he'd suggested going back to his hotel, she would have agreed in a second; but he knew better than to do that, if they were going to go any further, it would have to be at her suggestion.

The night wore on and they didn't leave their position, too lost in each other to remember that they were still in the middle of a party. Sue Ellen was pleased with herself as she shifted and got an accidental reminder of exactly the effect she was having on him, she loved being this powerful; it wasn't something that a woman often felt around JR Ewing, "JR, let's go and get a drink" she suggested, grinning. He knew that she was only joking, she wouldn't humiliate him like that, but he wished they were in private and didn't have to stop at this point, "in a minute" he tried to calm himself enough to move freely, but having her on his lap didn't make it easy. Sue Ellen spotted Paula leaving the party and blushed again, she was able to deal with it when it was related to her, but thinking about other people was embarrassing. "Ok, that's the second time you've done that, now, what is so funny?" her mood had changed from sexy to innocent and he was so confused. He followed her eyes again and realised that she probably knew something about her roommates plans, she really was the proper lady deep inside and that made her so much more appealing than a one-sided woman. "It's nothing, come on, let's go get a drink and then dance some more" she stood up and they went back to the lively party.

To be continued…


	34. Regrets?

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen awoke, thirsty and with a pounding headache she looked around the room, it was not either of her bedrooms, it was a hotel room. Confusion turned to panic as she saw a shirtless JR sleeping soundly next to her, she was almost afraid to look or feel her own state of undress; it wasn't supposed to happen like this, not without a ring on her finger and not at a point where she couldn't remember the previous night. She lay completely still and mentally prepared herself for whatever she was about to see when she lifted the covers. Slowly moving the duvet and top sheet, she realised that she wasn't wearing her bra, her heart started beating fast and she dreaded the thought that she wouldn't even remember how it was, this was shameful. She breathed an audible sigh of relief as she realised that she wasn't completely naked, she was still wearing the most important piece of clothing. No longer scared about what didn't happen, she was still worried about what did actually happen, she couldn't remember a whole lot about how they'd ended up there, only recalling small pieces of the previous night. They danced, drank and were affectionate, JR was jealous, Sue Ellen found it appealing, they danced some more; there were flashes of their evening, but nothing to remind her of how this had happened. She couldn't relax, she had no idea what she'd done and it bothered her to think about it, she couldn't stay there, this wasn't romantic, it was frightening. Quietly stepping out of bed, she gathered her clothes and went into the bathroom; as she looked in the mirror she realised that something had happened the previous night; she had little marks of passion down her neck and chest, it frustrated her that she couldn't remember any of it. As she moved to get dressed, she realised that the only clothing she had was her costume from the party. That would be the ultimate walk of shame, showing up at the sorority house in last night's clothes and no fresh makeup. Exiting the bathroom, she found a white robe in the closet, it would be better than her dress right now. She went back into the bathroom to freshen up as much as was possible without any of her things.

JR stirred from his dreamless, alcohol-induced sleep, he remembered more than Sue Ellen did, though he was also frustrated by the previous night. Even in a drunken state, she retained some of her morals, he'd never met a woman so sexy one minute and prudish the next, just when he thought they were getting somewhere, her unconscious mind would kick in and he'd be left aroused and unsatisfied. His ultimate love for her, despite her unrelenting morals, was the only thing stopping him from dumping her; he loved her in every way and would wait until she was ready, but she really didn't make it easy. If she was any other girl, he would have pushed harder and then probably given up, some girls just weren't worth it. Sue Ellen was definitely worth it though; she just made it difficult for him in that one area. As his hand reached out to touch her, he realised that the bed was empty and cold on her side; she must have already woken up, he hoped she was mentally ok with everything, he wasn't sure that he could deal with an emotional woman right now. "Sue Ellen? Darlin' are you here?" he hoped that she hadn't left, that would mean that she was ashamed and that was the last thing JR wanted her to feel.

She panicked slightly as she heard him calling, she didn't know why though, she trusted JR and he hadn't pushed her further than she wanted to go, so she didn't have anything to be afraid of. She slowly opened the door and exited the bathroom; she was shy and didn't quite know how to approach him. JR noticed how wary she was, he hoped that it wasn't complete regret, he knew she had enjoyed herself last night and he didn't want that to all disappear this morning, "good morning" he sat up and motioned her over to the bed, she sat on the side, avoiding eye contact, "JR? What happened last night?" she whispered, she was embarrassed that she even had to ask. JR smiled, it wasn't regret, it was fear of the unknown, that was slightly better, because she didn't actually have anything to regret. "Well, we left the party and went back to the sorority house, but it was after 2am and the doors were locked, so we came back here…" he paused to judge her reaction. Sue Ellen was happy to know that he at least knew what had happened, because as he spoke, she still didn't remember. She looked at him, encouraging him to continue, "look, I don't regret anything and you shouldn't either, we didn't do anything wrong", that didn't really explain anything for her, she wanted details and he hadn't given them, though she could probably guess what had happened, "did we…?" she needed to know although she was pretty sure they didn't. "No" he shook his head and gave her a kind smile; she really was a sweet young lady, she had many sides, but they all led back to the innocent young girl that she was deep down.

JR ordered breakfast for them in an effort to try make her more comfortable with everything, "JR?" he looked at her, she still looked a little on-edge, "I hate to ask, but could you use that Ewing magic to get me a new outfit please". He realised that they were both wearing hotel robes, he had his overnight bag because they were in his hotel room, but she had nothing because she hadn't expected to stay the night, "absolutely" he smiled, he really needed for her to relax. They ate breakfast and she started to become more comfortable, it was silly for her to be so uptight, JR was her boyfriend, and there was nothing to be embarrassed about. It still amazed her how true the phrase 'money-talks' was, within fifteen minutes there were five different outfits waiting for her, she thanked JR and he could tell that although she was relaxing, she was also a little anxious about what everyone would think of her if they found out she stayed with him. She really worried too much about her public appearance, JR was more relaxed because he either didn't care or he was displaying an image that he wanted people to comment on, he liked attention, whether it were bad or good, Sue Ellen on the other hand was always concerned about looking good and pleasing everyone, negative comments really affected her. He offered to go with her back to college, but she didn't think it would be a good idea, as they said goodbye she let him know that she wasn't mad at him, she just didn't think it was good for her image to start rumours. JR reluctantly agreed, he didn't care what people thought, though he understood where she was coming from and it would bother him too if people started nasty rumours.

Opening the door to her room in the sorority house, she was pleased that she'd gone mostly unnoticed by the other girls, she'd forgotten to account for the fact that everyone was partying last night, no one cared where she was, they had their own stories to tell. "Nice outfit, is it new?" she jumped at the sound of Paula's voice, she hadn't expected her to be there, "you shouldn't scare people like that" she jokingly scolded her friend, "and yes, it is new" she answered, though she didn't really want to know why Paula had pointed it out. Paula laughed, "hmm, your bed was unslept in, you're wearing a new outfit and you've still got last night's makeup on, just cleaned up enough to look presentable. My guess is that you didn't spend the night here. Details please" she grinned as Sue Ellen blushed and began to explain. "My friend, so adamant that she would be sleeping here last night, you know, next time I offer you something you should probably take it. You'd be surprised about how many men 'forget'", Sue Ellen smiled, Paula loved to remind her of the physical act, "Paula, I told you, nothing happened and nothing will happen until I'm a married woman. I don't need any of those. Now, I've told you all about my night but I know nothing about yours. I do remember seeing you and Tom leaving together last night though" she moved the topic of conversation away from herself.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR returned home, still a little hungover, but he was happy that Sue Ellen hadn't been too distressed about the previous night. He thought about how perfect the opportunity was, she was drunk, stranded and willing, until the last minute and then became closed off again. It was a lot harder to break that barrier than he'd originally assumed, he'd underestimated Patricia's power in Sue Ellen's life, she really had done her job well, Sue Ellen would be the perfect wife, but she wasn't his wife yet and that left him unfulfilled in one area of their relationship. He didn't want to jump into marriage just yet though, his father was pleased with their current relationship and the knowledge that JR intended to marry Sue Ellen. He wanted them to get to know each other a little more before he committed her to being a Ewing for the rest of her life, it was a big obligation and he needed to make sure that everything was perfect. There was no problem with the emotional side of their relationship, he was in love with her and she with him, but the fact was, they'd not even been together for a year, it would be much too soon for them to get engaged. Sub-consciously, he wasn't sure that a commitment like marriage was even the right decision for him, he liked being free to move from woman to woman, having a wife would end the excitement of the chase, he wasn't ready for that just yet. Sue Ellen was perfect and he couldn't wait to be with her in every way, but she was also just one woman and JR Ewing hadn't mentally moved from multiple-women to one woman yet, he still needed time.

To be continued…


	35. Anger and Disappointment

**Austin, Texas**

"No mama, not that one. Mama, I don't really need a new dress" Sue Ellen tried to deflect the attention away from dress shopping, she couldn't risk her mother seeing any of the marks on her neck or chest, she would assume the worst and Sue Ellen would never hear the end of it. "I don't know why you're being so difficult, but you will do as I say. These three first and then a few more later" Patricia was suspicious, her daughter never turned up her nose at trying on clothes, she loved shopping; something was wrong and she was determined to find out what it was. Sue Ellen reluctantly agreed, hoping that none of the dresses were cut in a way that showed her collarbone or any cleavage, she entered the dressing room and locked the door. "No, no, you look very big in that one, have you gained some weight?" Patricia commented and Sue Ellen flinched, she hadn't gained weight, but her mother would imagine what she wanted to. "Much too short, I don't know who they make these dresses for" Sue Ellen rolled her eyes at the comment, it was a standard size dress and she was tall, they probably made the dress for shorter girls who didn't shop with their mothers. As she stood in the final dress, she dreaded opening the door, the previous dresses had been round necks, but this was a V-neck and clearly showed the evidence of her Halloween night with JR, she could just imagine how many insults Patricia would throw at her when she saw the marks. She took the dress off and changed into her own clothes, she hoped that her mother wouldn't question it though she knew that she probably would.

Patricia was silent at Sue Ellen's refusal to show her the third dress, she was hiding something, Patricia would find out what that was, but for now it was better to say nothing, she'd get her answers eventually if she played her game right. Returning home empty handed, Sue Ellen was grateful that her mother hadn't pushed the subject, she'd gotten away with it; a few more days and she'd be in the clear, just in time for the Oil Baron's Ball. As they prepared dinner, Sue Ellen began to relax, Kristin set the table and Patricia watched and critiqued Sue Ellen's culinary skills, "good, a good wife should always know how to cook, even when she does not have to", Sue Ellen silently listened to her mother repeat the same line she had heard thousands of times before. After dinner, Kristin went to finish her homework and Sue Ellen was left alone with Patricia, "the Oil Baron's Ball is next weekend, I think you should wear your hair up, show off that lovely jewellery JR gave you. Actually, your dress and jewellery are here now, I'd like a dress rehearsal, just to make sure everything is perfect", Sue Ellen was fine until her mother suggested a dress rehearsal, she couldn't put that dress on now, especially not with her hair up. The panic in her daughters eyes tipped Patricia off, something was wrong and she would find out what. "Mama, I don't think that's such a good idea, we just ate dinner and the dress won't fit the way it's supposed to, besides, we know everything looks good, I don't think a dress rehearsal is necessary", Patricia pursed her lips, "it was not a suggestion, now, go upstairs and get dressed". Sue Ellen still feared her mother even though she was technically an adult; she slowly walked to her bedroom and put the dress on, quickly reaching for her makeup bag to at least try to conceal some of the bruises and marks. She was startled by a loud knock on the door followed by her mother entering, she'd been caught and now had to face the consequences.

"I knew it; I knew there had to be something seedy going on. How could you let that man do that to you? I thought I taught you better than that. Did you learn nothing from the way you were raised? You tell me that nothing happened and I'm just supposed to believe you? I think the evidence speaks for itself. How many times do I have to tell you, men are only after one thing. The kind of man that you give that gift to depends on the kind of lady that you are; holding out until marriage and even then, only acting when he makes the first move, is the only way to keep yourself wholesome and virtuous. Do you remember Carol Thomas? She was on the path to finding a good husband and then ruined all of that hard work by losing her morals. Oh, the official story was that she went to live with her aunt and uncle in Seattle, but I think we both know how to read between the lines. I will not have that happen to you, I have worked too hard just to have you throw it all away because you want to feel good. It's called having a little self-control Sue Ellen; JR I can't really blame, he's a man, they're bound to want that. But you, you're supposed to be a proper lady, one day a suitable wife, really, what man is going to want a tarnished woman for his wife? In future, I expect all nights to end on the doorstep and I will expect a confirmation of this, I obviously can't trust you to be alone with that man. When you are married, then your husband will be in charge, but for now, you are my responsibility and I will not have you disobeying me". Sue Ellen was focused on a small knot in the wooden floorboard, she couldn't make eye contact with her mother, it was humiliating to be reprimanded and the intense anger in her mother's words only made her more ashamed. "Look at me!" she jumped and looked upwards, "yes mama, I understand. I won't do it again, I promise", she just wanted to leave.

**Dallas, Texas**

"You don't have to leave. I live alone, no one will disturb us" JR listened as he buttoned his shirt, "I know, but I don't. How would it look if I spent four nights a week away from home? Even I can't pretend that I 'met an old friend' or 'had a late night at the office' that many times. My mama would get suspicious, daddy too. I'm sorry, I have to leave" he sat on the edge of the bed and tied his shoelaces. "But JR…" Julie began to whine before JR shot her a glare, "look, we have fun, but this isn't a relationship, we aren't together, I don't think spending the night is required. Here, buy yourself something nice" he opened his wallet and handed her a few hundred-dollar notes; he could buy anything with money, including silence. Truthfully, he would have dumped Julie in a minute if Sue Ellen had been willing, but she wasn't, and he just didn't have the self-control that she seemed to. Plus, Julie did things that he would never even dream of asking Sue Ellen to do, Julie was common, Sue Ellen was a lady, they were very different. He wondered about marriage to Sue Ellen, would he be satisfied with her? He was convinced that he would, he loved her and he wanted her, but she was holding out on him, though that made her even more appealing, probably not the effect that Patricia had intended.

Julie lay in bed and cried, she knew that JR used her because he couldn't have Sue Ellen, she hated herself for letting him do that to her. She was attached, despite all the times he reminded her that they were casual, there was no attachment and she shouldn't act as if there were. At times like this, she wanted to let him know exactly how she felt, but when he was actually there, they had other things on their minds. She wished that he'd never met Sue Ellen, Sue Ellen was the one that had changed everything. Their relationship had been fine before, he would treat her like a woman he actually cared about and less like an object that he only needed for one thing. Walking into her bathroom, she looked at the small, pink pills; if she stopped taking those, then maybe she could 'accidentally' end up carrying something that belonged to JR. A child would make him commit, Jock would make sure of it. She was seriously considering it, but then remembered JR's many speeches about the future Ewing heir, a bastard child would not do, marriage had to come first. Besides, did she really want to be married to a man who only said 'I do' because of their child? She didn't even really like children. She placed the pills back in the drawer and went back to bed.

To be continued…


	36. The Oil Baron's Ball

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen returned from cheerleading practice and was welcomed by a bouquet of yellow roses on her desk, she read the note and smiled, 'I'm sorry about my behaviour, I hope I didn't cause too much upset. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow night. Love JR'. She had tearfully explained everything to him over the phone and he'd received his own cool reception from Patricia when he'd picked Sue Ellen up for dinner earlier in the week. He hadn't realised how intense the woman was, she had a set path for Sue Ellen and nothing was going to ruin that. JR felt bad for Sue Ellen, she was caught between two very determined people. Placing the flowers in a vase on her desk, she thought about the ball tomorrow night. Patricia had insisted on flying to Dallas with Sue Ellen and spending the night in a hotel, just to make sure that her daughter and her boyfriend behaved themselves. Sue Ellen hated the way people constantly treated her as if she were a child, Clint had done it when she'd had problems or gotten upset, he'd often switch into a speaking manner appropriate for explaining complex information to a much younger person, especially when he thought she was acting petulantly. Her mother did it with everything, always holding the 'parental wisdom' card; her mother always knew best, even when she didn't. Even JR did it sometimes, he'd assert his power and wisdom because of his age and social status, most of the time it wouldn't bother her, she liked seeing him act so powerfully, but when he would tell her that they shouldn't do something and give her no reason why, she'd get annoyed. Like when she was at Southfork for one of her regular weekend visits, she'd asked him to take her riding and he'd make a fuss, convincing her that she didn't really want to do that. She'd eventually ended up going with Bobby who was visiting, but JR had been upset that they hadn't included him, it was as if she couldn't win. Most of the time she was ok with having other people advise her, but when it turned into complete control, she didn't like it so much.

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen had help from both Patricia and Kristin as she prepared for the Oil Baron's Ball; this was her first formal introduction to Dallas society, the barbecue had been more of an informal introduction, this was an official occasion. She wore a pale pink, V-neck, empire waist dress with the diamond jewellery JR had sent her and her hair was styled up in a chignon. There was a knock at the door to their hotel room and Kristin ushered JR into the small living area, Sue Ellen wasn't quite ready yet. "Kristin, please go and help your sister, I need to speak to JR alone" Patricia directed her youngest daughter away from the room and smiled at JR, he got chills as she gave him an overly friendly smile with dead, cold eyes. Sue Ellen could hear the conversation from the bedroom; she rushed checking her appearance before appearing at the door to save him from the hostile exchange with her mother.

As they entered the ballroom, Sue Ellen was awed by the size and extravagance of the event. Even as Miss Texas, she didn't often experience glamour and wealth like this. JR showed her to the Ewing table and she thought about what Paula had told her; the tickets alone cost thousands of dollars, this was much different to anything Sue Ellen had ever experienced. JR went to get drinks for them while Sue Ellen spoke with Miss Ellie and Mavis Anderson; Jock and Punk were somewhere talking business, and Bobby had gone to dance with his date. Returning with their drinks, JR talked to his mother for a minute and then asked Sue Ellen to dance. "Thank you for inviting me JR, this whole event is bigger than anything I could have imagined" she was genuinely excited for tonight, despite the trouble in their relationship. They continued to dance before dinner was served and the Oil Baron of the Year award was announced, JR was disappointed for his father but didn't say anything. Sue Ellen just watched the whole thing from an outside perspective, the Texan oil industry was a lot bigger than she had imagined, she'd dated a few men in the oil industry, but she'd never even heard of many of the people here tonight. JR asked Bobby to dance with Sue Ellen while he settled some business with a few of the cartel members. "It's a lot different to a college party right?" Bobby made her laugh as they danced, he was only a few years younger than she was and he understood her age a little more than JR did sometimes. "May I cut in here?" a voice sounded behind Bobby and they stopped dancing, "Billy, how nice to see you" Sue Ellen smiled, they'd parted on good terms and she had enjoyed their friendship. Bobby took her reaction as his cue to hand her over and allow Billy Frampton to dance with her.

Bobby returned to his date and JR soon finished his business conversation, "Bobby? Where is Sue Ellen?" he questioned his brother, he'd left Bobby with her on purpose, he didn't want her to have to deal with meeting everyone by herself. "Oh, she met someone she knew and they're dancing" Bobby replied casually and JR began to panic, she didn't know anyone here, did she? He walked over to the dance floor and soon realised who she was dancing with, Billy Frampton had been her escort in the Miss Texas pageant, she'd told him about their previous relationship, not much more than a friendship though. He relaxed as he saw that she was ok and continued walking toward the couple, "thank you Mr Frampton, I'll take over now" JR interrupted their dance but Billy didn't mind. He had seen how JR looked at Sue Ellen the minute he'd laid eyes on her, he was happy for Sue Ellen that they they'd managed to make a relationship out of one look, the chemistry was definitely there. "Having fun?" JR wanted to make sure she was comfortable; they danced and mingled, enjoying the evening together.

"Give up now, that girl is no fun, totally frigid" JR heard the insult but wasn't sure that it was directed at them, it couldn't be. "JR, let's go back to the table" Sue Ellen looked nervous and JR realised that it was directed at them, "oh yea, back to the table, but never back to my apartment" the sleazy man slurred, clearly drunk. Bobby had been dancing close to JR and Sue Ellen and had quickly come to their side; "JR" his tone told JR that he would back him up. "Excuse me. That girl happens to be my girlfriend and you are being extremely rude. I suggest you leave now; before I have you thrown out" JR tried to keep his anger in-check, Sue Ellen was clearly uncomfortable and he felt the need to defend her. "Throw me out? Who do you think you are? Besides, I only speak the truth. You won't get anywhere with her, she's a total prude, not even an interesting one, pretty, but not pretty enough to hold that kind of power" the man's comments were enough for JR to get very angry, Bobby stepped in before he could do anything though. The man fell to the floor as Bobby punched him, "stay away from her, she's a wonderful girl, much too good for a vile man like you" Bobby spoke low and slow as JR escorted Sue Ellen off the dancefloor, a small crowd gathered to see what had happened but Bobby walked away from the scene too. "Darlin' are you ok? I'm sorry you had to hear those disgusting comments" he tried to comfort her, but deep down he was angry and confused, she definitely knew the man. "I'm fine, just keep that awful man away from me, forever" she was ok, his words had just reminded her of their awful dinner, another disastrous date Patricia had set up. "JR? Who was that man?" Miss Ellie had witnessed the end of the fight, not hearing the beginning or understanding the context. JR looked at Sue Ellen, he was just as in the dark as his mother; Sue Ellen realised that JR didn't know the man, "his name is John Thurman, his father owns an oil refinery company, I had dinner with him once, it ended early at my request. He is awful, please don't make me explain the whole thing", JR squeezed her hand as a sign of encouragement; she'd be ok with him.

The rest of the night was dampened by the little incident earlier, Sue Ellen had never wanted to think about that man again and he'd reappeared at the most inconvenient time. JR could tell that it bothered her more than she was letting on; he tried to show her a good time though, despite the unfortunate fight earlier. Leaving the ball, JR and Sue Ellen sat silently in the limo before he finally spoke, "are you really ok?" She really didn't want to talk about it, "yes, I told you, I'm fine now, it just made me remember something, but that's all in the past. Thank you for inviting me" she moved a little closer and kissed him, it was sweet and soft, perfect for the moment. JR wouldn't push her on the subject, it wasn't worth her getting upset, nor the two of them getting in a fight over it; as she ended the kiss, he held her close, he felt protective of her. Arriving back at the hotel, JR said goodnight and kissed her in the hallway outside her hotel room. Patricia heard voices, she was waiting up for Sue Ellen, wanting to make sure she arrived safely. "I thought I heard voices. Come on Sue Ellen, it's late enough already" Patricia opened the door and interrupted their final moments alone; JR silently cursed her, she really did everything to control and manipulate, it made no difference whether Sue Ellen entered the room now or in five minutes, Patricia just liked having the upper hand. Sue Ellen sighed and listened to her mother, giving JR a small peck on the cheek she walked into the room, leaving him to go back to Southfork alone. The night had been so wonderful and then horrible and then wonderful again, just being with JR made her happy; she politely told her mother about the ball and then said that she was tired and prepared for bed. JR returned home and talked for a little while with his family, before excusing himself and going upstairs.

To be continued…


	37. Thanksgiving

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen was stressed out, the list of things to do was just getting longer and longer, but they would all be worth it when she finished, especially in time for the upcoming Thanksgiving long weekend, she would be able to relax and actually enjoy a little free time. Thanksgiving in the Shepard home was a small but still formal occasion, her mother would insist that they spend the whole weekend together as a family, but by the time Saturday morning came, they were about sick of spending every minute of the day together, this gave Sue Ellen a whole weekend to relax and do whatever she wished. Things were still a little tense between her mother and JR, they both had very strong personalities, but her mother was beginning to ease a little. Even if she didn't trust JR's motives, she didn't doubt the kind of life Sue Ellen lived with him, he treated her to fine dining and expensive gifts and was her ticket into the social class Patricia had trained her for. Patricia knew that if Sue Ellen became Mrs JR Ewing, her future would be secure and with the marriage, Patricia would share in a small part of the Ewing wealth by proxy. JR had already made it clear that he knew Sue Ellen was not the only one involved in her own life, JR accepted this and accommodated it, making sure he brought small thank you gifts for Patricia and Kristin when he visited. If she played her cards right, she could probably get a house and maybe private school education for Kristin as well as social connections through Sue Ellen. When the time came for Kristin to find a husband, Sue Ellen would be able to introduce her to some wealthy men that she knew personally. Sue Ellen knew her mother was motivated by money, she didn't like it, but she accepted it, JR knew it too, but JR had money and small tokens were a drop in the ocean to him.

"Sue Ellen, you're not spending Thanksgiving with JR are you?" Paula spoke in her sweetest voice, she wanted something and Sue Ellen had a pretty good idea about what it was. "No, you're going to have to drive to Dallas, sorry", Paula had hoped that JR had invited Sue Ellen, a 50 minute flight on a private jet was much nicer than driving home in pre-Thanksgiving traffic, "it's ok, just thought I'd ask. I'll try and leave on Wednesday night, it's a 3 ½ to 4 hour drive, so if I leave straight after class, I can be home for late dinner". The two spoke about their Thanksgiving plans and Sue Ellen wondered about what the holiday season was like at Southfork. They had so many traditions in the Ewing family, she enjoyed hearing about and experiencing all of them, JR's family was bigger than her own and there was really a bond between the Ewings, sometimes they didn't get along, but when anything happened, they'd stick together.

"I'm not sure how that went, I really didn't have a lot of time to study, I have so many other things to do this week", Sue Ellen exited the lecture room as her English test ended and spoke to her friend Julia. "I know, it's like all of the professors got together and decided that this week was when they'd schedule off of their assignments and tests", the upcoming break was much needed, for all of the students. Sue Ellen laughed at the statement, "I think you may be right, they'll deny any such meeting though. I cannot wait for this week to be over, Thanksgiving is my opportunity to just relax and do whatever I want, and right now, I just want to sleep", her friend agreed and they parted ways. Sue Ellen headed to the library; she still had three essays due and hadn't even started researching for two of them, the week was not over yet.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR returned home after a long, hectic day at the office; the upcoming long weekend caused people to panic, as if the world wouldn't still be turning on Monday. He loved holiday weekends for himself, but paying his staff extra was the downside, less profit for Ewing Oil and something his father managed to make JR feel responsible for, as if he were there when the Mayflower docked. "JR?" he snapped out of his thoughts as his mama spoke his name, "oh, I'm sorry mama; I don't know where I was just then. What was it that you were saying?" Miss Ellie smiled, her eldest son was obviously stressed, the holiday weekend would do him good. "I was asking about Sue Ellen? What are her plans for Thanksgiving?" JR thought about his answer, he didn't want to explain that Patricia was being irrationally protective of her daughter and he didn't want to disrupt the temporary peace that he'd reached with her. He'd thought about inviting her family to Thanksgiving dinner, but he didn't want the first meeting between their families to be marred by the hostility present between the two of them. "Oh, she's spending the weekend with her family, her mama and sister. Her mama is quite traditional, she likes to make sure they spend a lot of time together over the holiday", he embellished the truth a little, Sue Ellen had said that Patricia liked to pretend they were a happy family, but by Saturday they'd be bored with that charade. "Oh, that's very nice. Every family has their own traditions. Maybe next year they'll join us?" Miss Ellie was quietly confident and very hopeful that by next Thanksgiving Sue Ellen would have a ring on her finger, she liked Sue Ellen a lot and making her a Ewing would make her a very happy mother and hopefully a grandmother again soon. "Mmmhm, yes mama, maybe" JR didn't make any promises, he had to get back on Patricia's his good side again before he started thinking about inviting her into his home.

**Austin, Texas**

Walking out of her final class on Wednesday afternoon, Sue Ellen was relieved; she'd survived the horrible week and could finally relax. Arriving at her mother's house, she noticed a large bouquet of flowers in autumnal colours, she picked up the small card and read the note; they were from JR, somewhat of a peace offering. She smiled to herself at the thoughtfulness, JR hadn't said anything, he'd just done it. Her mother hadn't said anything either though, she never could admit when she was wrong. She spent the evening teaching Kristin the art of baking pumpkin pie and then they all played a board game, something she didn't mind as long as no one started a fight about who was winning. Awaking on Thursday morning, she helped her mother prepare the turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes and green beans; they always ended up making too much food for just the three of them, but on this day, no one minded. They settled down, watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on television, and then ate their dinner before taking a walk to a local park, the weather was starting to get colder, but it was still mild enough to enjoy being outside. When they arrived home, they sat down to watch some of the TV specials, this year 'Bewitched' had a Thanksgiving episode, Kristin informed Sue Ellen that although she liked the show about the witch, she preferred the other show about the genie. The phone rang just as the episode ended and Sue Ellen answered.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR spent the morning with his family as they watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, it was a tradition, actually almost everything they did was a tradition. Lucy lay on the floor in front of the television, intently watching the parade as everyone else chatted and casually paid attention to the festivities. Teresa prepared the sides for their dinner and Miss Ellie made the Southworth family turkey brine and secret family recipe stuffing, another tradition. As they sat in the dining room and ate, conversation turned to the past and the future, "five here tonight, almost like the old days. Here's to the future though, hopefully we'll soon have seven" he looked at JR and JR knew he meant Sue Ellen and John Ross Ewing III; his father desperately wanted a grandson. Miss Ellie smiled as Jock mentioned the table filling again, she'd like another baby in the house, but she was sad that Jock mentioned it being like the old days; it wasn't just like the old days, Gary wasn't present. She didn't even know where Gary was or whether he was ok, he didn't ever call to check in on his daughter or say hello to his mother, she wished he would come home, but Jock never made it easy. After dinner, the men went outside to throw a football, another tradition. By the time they came inside, they were muddy and cold, but they were happy. JR went upstairs to shower and change into clean clothes. As he showered, he thought about Sue Ellen, he wished she were there with him. He smiled at the thought of her literally being there in the shower with him, but he would have settled for her presence at Southfork. When she was his wife, they could take all the showers together that they wanted, for now he'd have to resolve his current problem alone.

With Sue Ellen on his mind and the family all taking a little quiet time to themselves, he picked up the phone and dialled her house. "Hello, Shepard residence, Sue Ellen speaking", her phone manner was very proper when she was around her mother but she relaxed as she heard who was calling, "hello darlin'" he grinned into the phone, his expression evident in his tone of voice. They spoke about their days and then about plans for the rest of the weekend before Patricia decided that Sue Ellen had been speaking for long enough and it was time for family bonding again. Sue Ellen hung up; happy that JR was happy and content with the way her own weekend was going.

To be continued…


	38. Holiday Season

**Austin, Texas**

By Monday afternoon, everyone on campus knew what everyone else did over Thanksgiving weekend. Four of Sue Ellen's sorority sisters had brand new diamond rings on their left hands; engagement season had officially begun. Even the girls who didn't have rings had stories to tell about the new developments in their relationships. Sue Ellen had been asked numerous times whether JR had said or done anything, and many of the other girls seemed surprised that they hadn't even spent Thanksgiving together. A few girls had expressed their sympathies, but tried to make her feel better by saying that there was still Christmas, New Year and Valentine's Day before graduation. The 'ring by spring' mentality was strong within the college, despite what Paula and some of the other girls tried to convince her about not having to commit to one man. Sue Ellen understood why her classmates were confused about JR's lack of relationship development; it felt like they'd been together for a long time when in reality it had really only been a few months, people assumed that they were at a point where engagement was expected rather than just a possibility. Sue Ellen didn't let any of the comments bother her though, she was secure in the knowledge that when the time was right, JR would make his move; he'd already verbally committed to marriage.

Although she'd had a lovely, relaxing weekend, the next month was going to be hectic. The semester was ending in just a few weeks, she'd have final exams and assignments to complete and with that came stress. She also had large number of parades and community events to attend because she was Miss Texas and holiday season had begun. Her modelling jobs were not stressful, just time consuming, but they paid well, so she agreed to take a few more than she usually would. She wanted to be able to buy everyone nice gifts this year, especially JR, what did one buy the man who had everything and unlimited resources? She loved holiday season, but prepared herself to be stretched thin with all of her commitments.

**Dallas, Texas**

Thanksgiving came and went, the Ewings had a good time together, but by the time Monday rolled around, it was back to regular life. This was a little different though; Thanksgiving signalled the official start of holiday season, meaning that Southfork was a little more decorated and they had more social events to attend. JR couldn't wait to introduce Sue Ellen to some more of the Ewing family traditions; it was at times like these where he couldn't wait to share the season with his own son one day. It wasn't all play though, the office was busier than ever, they had a lot of work to do before they shut down for a longer period of time over Christmas and New Year. The late nights were inevitable, no longer just a convenient excuse in the morning, he really was stuck at the office.

JR boarded the Ewing jet for his flight to Austin, it had only been a week and already he could tell that Sue Ellen had lost the relaxing mind-set that Thanksgiving had given her. When he'd spoken to her on the phone earlier, she sounded stressed and overwhelmed and he'd decided that she needed a reminder of what relaxation felt like. He had rescheduled his business dinner and made plans to fly to Austin and surprise her; she could use a little comfort right now.

**Austin, Texas**

Returning from a late cheerleading practice, Sue Ellen realised that she hadn't eaten lunch or dinner, she was starving and still didn't really have time to eat, she had to do so many things before the end of the week and had no idea where to even start. Walking toward the sorority house, she was greeted by a chauffeur and a waiting limousine, JR had arranged for a relaxing massage before he arrived, though she wasn't informed that JR would be her dinner date, that part was a secret. She realised how tense she probably sounded on the phone and had accidentally worried JR, though she was not upset about his gesture, it was thoughtful and sweet. She decided that it would be better for everyone if she did take a few hours to relax and unwind, she'd be able to look at all of her tasks with a clear mind again.

As her massage ended, she was calm and reinvigorated, the tasks before her really weren't that big, she'd just been overwhelmed earlier. The massage was perfect for clearing her head and she silently thanked JR for being so thoughtful. No one would believe that JR Ewing was this sweet; she was one of the privileged few that got to witness his softer side. The chauffeur had assured her that he would be waiting outside for her when she was finished; as she exited the spa, she realised that JR was standing outside, leaning against the limousine. She walked a little faster and as she got close, wrapped her arms around him; it was so nice to just be near him. "Thank you" she whispered, not breaking their hug; JR held her a little tighter, she seemed to be doing better already. "Come on" he motioned toward the limo, "I'd bet anything that you haven't eaten have you?" she looked at him sheepishly, he was right, she hadn't eaten. The limo brought them to a small restaurant, entering the building she laughed; the restaurant was completely empty. "I don't know how you do it JR, but I love that you can", he smiled; he just wanted her to be happy. He couldn't believe the way he acted around her sometimes, it was like he was a completely different person to the image he portrayed publicly; but being around Sue Ellen brought out a different side to him. As the limo arrived back at her sorority house, she felt so much better than she had earlier in the day, all because of JR. "JR, thank you. I can't express how much this helped me; I know you have your own problems but you still came here and fixed mine. You know, people don't believe me when I tell them about how sweet you can be. I'm beginning to understand how lucky I am to get this special treatment" she grinned as his expression changed; her words had matched his own thoughts. He was a different person around her and it wasn't surprising that no one believed her, "well, it wouldn't be special if everyone saw that side", he kissed her one last time before walking her to the door and letting her get back to reality again.

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR, will Sue Ellen be joining us for the annual Christmas party?" Miss Ellie prompted her son, he hadn't mentioned Sue Ellen's Christmas plans yet and it struck her as a little odd; their relationship seemed strong, she didn't understand why he wouldn't invite her to the party. JR heard his mama asking him the question, but the only thing in his mind was Christmas day, he wished Sue Ellen could be here with him, but that would mean Patricia would also be here. With Patricia came the dreaded meeting of the parents. Introducing their parents seemed so formal and he knew that they'd all take it as a hint, whether he meant it that way or not. So far, their lives were separated, they had their Austin life and their Dallas life, but with an invitation for Patricia to meet his parents, came a stronger assumption that their relationship was becoming more serious. JR was still hesitant about the commitment to marriage so early in their relationship, he wanted Sue Ellen to be his wife one day, but it wasn't an immediate plan. "JR?" he still hadn't given his mother an answer, "oh yes mama, I think she will be here. I haven't asked her yet though". Miss Ellie could tell that something was bothering him; she just didn't know what it was. "Do you know what her plans are for Christmas day?" she pushed a little harder, she was curious; she realised that although she'd heard plenty of stories about Sue Ellen's family, she'd never actually met them, not even when her mother had visited Dallas while Sue Ellen attended the Oil Baron's Ball. "Oh no mama, I'm not sure. Probably just spending the day with her mama and sister; she never mentioned going away for the holidays or anything like that" he didn't know why he was revealing so much information. "Oh I see, well that should be nice. You know, I was just thinking, I've never met Sue Ellen's family. You really should invite them over one day, her mother must think we are very rude hosts, you've been dating her daughter for months now and I haven't even met her. How about next weekend?" JR felt backed into a corner, he hadn't expected to have this happen so quickly, "mm, I'll ask Sue Ellen, they may not be free. Excuse me mama" he got up from the table and exited the room; he needed to get away from this conversation.

To be continued…


	39. Future In-Laws?

**Austin, Texas**

"You know, it's about time that JR invited us to Southfork; he's lucky that I even let you spend as many weekends there as I do. It will be nice to see how you'll be living when you're Mrs JR Ewing though", Patricia hadn't stopped talking about their upcoming visit to Southfork, Sue Ellen completely understood why JR had been nervous about inviting her, her mother was a rather intense person. "Mama, we've only been together for a few months, we're not even engaged. This is simply a nice gesture, please don't turn it into more than it is" she needed her mother to calm down a little bit; she could come off very strong when she wanted something. "Sue Ellen, there is nice and there is nice" her inflection changed as she spoke, she was definitely expecting developments in their relationship, "I can't imagine that he would invite your sister and I to spend the weekend with his family, all the way in another city, without having some intention. No, you'll be a married woman soon enough, even if I have to push things along a little bit", the end of her sentence worried Sue Ellen, she knew that her mother wasn't joking, she really would say or do something to make JR marry her if she thought he was taking too long.

Sue Ellen was dreading the visit almost as much as JR was; it wasn't that they were afraid of their parents meeting, it was more that they were afraid of the conclusions everyone would come to because of the visit. Sue Ellen thought about her dinner with JR where he'd presented the idea, the invitation that he was obligated to extend because his mother had personally asked. "JR, are you ok? You're never this quiet" she observed his behaviour, something was definitely weighing on his mind, "well, yes and no. There's something I've been meaning to ask you" he still hadn't explained what the problem was, just confused her more. Giving him a leading look, she encouraged him to continue, "every year, we have a special Christmas party for some of our friends and associates, y'know, another Ewing family tradition" he tried to lighten the mood and she smiled, the Ewings did have a lot of traditions. "I had planned on inviting you anyway, but when mama asked me about it, she also asked about your plans for Christmas day and then mentioned that she'd never met your family. What I'm trying to say is, your mama and sister are invited to Southfork this weekend, to meet my parents" he tried to gauge her reaction, did she feel the same way he did? Her first thought was confusion; she didn't understand what the big deal was. But then she began to imagine the situation, Patricia and JR weren't exactly on friendly terms since the events of Halloween and she had become more insistent that Sue Ellen marry before anything else. They were content with the way their relationship was at the moment, they were still in the early stages of getting to know each other, but everyone else had a different plan for them. She finally understood why JR was nervous, Patricia had a very strong personality and when she wanted something, she made it happen; Jock was the same, and he wanted a grandson. "I'll talk to my mama, I'm sure she'll be thrilled to visit Southfork. I'll try to convince her to stay quiet for a while though, I know she's a little much sometimes", her words did little to calm JR but he couldn't make anything better happen, this concerned his parents and he would never use his scheming mind to ruin one of their plans.

As they boarded the Ewing jet, Sue Ellen prayed that everything would go well. JR's parents already liked her and her mother was pleased with JR in every way except for his 'inappropriate behaviour', so she hoped that their parents could just bond over how nice their relationship was in general, not dwelling on their future as husband and wife. They were both of the same mind, it was much too soon to be rushing into marriage, despite how they both felt about each other. "Wow, it must be nice to be rich" Kristin walked around the plane admiring their luxurious transportation; it was a lot different to the way they usually travelled. "It is lovely Sue Ellen. Do you see now why all of my lessons were worth it? Why I pushed you so hard and why settling was not an option? It will be even better when it's half yours and you have a ring on your finger", in just one sentence, her mother had complimented her and torn her down. "Yes mama" she nodded her head and agreed, slipping into her role as the submissive daughter and perfect, polite lady.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR waited in his car at the airfield, as the Ewing jet landed and Sue Ellen stepped out onto the runway, his heart jumped, this was the woman he was in love with, nothing could screw that up. He was confident until he saw Patricia emerge from the plane, followed by Kristin; the anxiousness had returned. As they drove to Southfork, Patricia hadn't stopped talking, not even about anything very interesting, just general observations. This was going to be a long day. The large, white house started to become visible in the distance and Patricia smiled to herself, this was perfect, she liked the Ewing family already. The long driveway only made the house seem more impressive, it became grander as they neared. JR opened Sue Ellen's door and then Patricia and Kristin's door, gripping Sue Ellen's hand tight, they walked toward the house. Jock had heard the sound of a car arriving in the driveway, "Ellie, I think they're here", the two walked outside and greeted Sue Ellen's mother and sister. "Lovely to meet you Patricia, I'm Ellie, but everyone calls me Miss Ellie" she introduced herself and Patricia eyed the other woman, she wasn't dressed nearly as nicely as she had imagined the wife of an oil baron would. The large diamond ring on Miss Ellie's finger suggested that her clothing style was personal choice rather than poverty though, Patricia was reassured, Sue Ellen still had a chance for a good life. Miss Ellie noticed the young, brunette, she was maybe a year or two older than Lucy, she presented herself confidently, not seeming fazed by the new situation, "you must be Kristin. I'm not sure where my granddaughter Lucy has disappeared to, but I will introduce you two and I'm sure you'll have a good time" she was hoping that the girls became friends; Lucy could always use more friends. Kristin smiled politely, though silently judged the older woman's clothing, she certainly didn't look rich.

The ladies drank tea while the men drank bourbon and everyone mingled, general conversation filling the air. Kristin was starting to get a little bored, she liked to think of herself as an adult, but she really was only a little girl. "Grandma!" Lucy ran into the house, dressed in full riding clothes and red-faced from running, it wasn't exactly the first impression Miss Ellie had hoped for her granddaughter. Miss Ellie got up from her seat and walked toward her, "Lucy dear, why don't you go upstairs and clean up, put on a nice dress. We have company; Sue Ellen's mother and sister are here. When you come downstairs, I'll introduce you to her sister, you two are around the same age, I'm sure you'll be fast friends", Lucy followed her instructions, she had been excited to talk about her time down at the stables, but her grandma seemed distracted, now wasn't the right time. Returning from her room, she was introduced to Sue Ellen's family; neither her sister or mother had the same kind manner that Lucy got from Sue Ellen, she began to wonder whether Sue Ellen was really just a good actress. Kristin and Lucy made their way upstairs to play with Lucy's toys, but Kristin was more focused on analysing the large house, she didn't understand why Sue Ellen always made a fuss about her mother's intentions for their lives, what was wrong with marrying a rich man? By the looks of it, the Ewings lived a lovely life; even Lucy had a room full of toys, many more than Kristin could ever ask for. She was jealous of the life Lucy was born into and resented Sue Ellen for ever expressing doubt or hesitation at the life plan set out for them.

The morning went well, everyone chatted and no one brought up the future and immediate development of JR and Sue Ellen's relationship, they were both relieved that their parents had steered clear of that topic. As they sat down at the dining table for lunch, the subject of seats and chairs came up again, specifically the eight places around the table, seven of which were currently filled. "Well, I'm hoping that soon we'll have a near full table again, with Bobby finishing college in a few years and these two getting married, we'll soon have at least seven seats filled. Then it will be time for Bobby to take a wife and we'll have a full house again, the way it should be". Everyone listened and then focused their attention on JR and Sue Ellen; in just a few short sentences, Jock had broken the invisible barrier, the one topic that everyone wanted to know about, but the two people involved didn't want to talk about.

To be continued…


	40. Alone?

**Dallas, Texas**

Just as a matter of principle JR wouldn't be pushed into marriage, no matter his own feelings about Sue Ellen; he didn't like being told what to do and didn't like when everyone assumed that he would just roll over and obey, he wasn't submissive. Five pairs of eyes were on the couple, looking for any hint of a reaction, they all wanted to know when it was going to happen, anyone could tell that they were suited for each other and obviously in love, it wasn't that unusual for couples to marry quickly, especially a man of JR's age. "Uh yes daddy, well let's not get too ahead of ourselves" he tried to brush the comment off, though he knew Jock wouldn't be dissuaded that easily. "I don't think it's wrong to ask, I mean you two have been together for what, six months? That is surely enough time to get to know each other, a long courtship isn't necessary. I expect that Patricia here is eager to know when you'll become her son-in-law and I'd like a grandson sooner rather than later. You're not that young anymore JR, and with Sue Ellen graduating in the spring, I don't see any reason why an engagement would not be coming soon", he finished speaking and JR was silent, he didn't really have any good arguments against his father. Looking first toward his mother and then at Patricia, and seeing both women nod in agreement made him feel outnumbered, there was no way out. Squeezing Sue Ellen's hand in support, she needed to know that he was telling the truth as he spoke, "well of course I plan to ask Sue Ellen to marry me, one day, but it will be on my terms and because we want to, not because everyone here expects it. Right now, neither of us feels ready to take that step, but as soon as it happens, you will all know. But please, respect our relationship the way it is at the moment", he tried his best to stay calm, they had company and were seated at the dinner table, this was no time to lose his temper. Sue Ellen smiled, JR had handled it perfectly and had verbally communicated his intent to both his and her family, if she didn't know his plan before, she did now. "Well could you please make it soon, I was promised a brother or sister" Lucy broke the tension with her childish remark and everyone laughed, though the adults silently agreed with Lucy, a marriage and a baby were exactly what was wanted and expected.

After lunch, Kristin and Lucy went off to play and the adults gathered in the living room. Politely excusing herself, Sue Ellen left the room and walked toward the bathroom. JR took her absence as an invitation and quietly excused himself a few minutes later as to not look suspicious, following her direction and waiting outside the bathroom door. Sue Ellen looked at herself in the mirror, this whole day had already been more stressful and tense than she had anticipated, she couldn't take much more. Opening the door she found JR standing outside, he had a sly look on his face and her heart jumped, he was so sexy when he looked at her in that way. "Was there something you wanted" she grinned, the look on his face was definitely not innocent, "mmhm" he nodded, he had intent and she loved playing games before giving in, it always made everything that much more satisfying. "Well, maybe I should go get Teresa and she'll help you" she started to walk away but he pulled her toward him, "Teresa can't help me" he moved his face closer to hers as he spoke, but she was having fun teasing him, wiggling her way out of his grip. "Maybe Raoul or your mama then", JR knew that she was just teasing him, but he needed her, "nope, only one person can help", his eyes darkening with lust, they'd barely had a moment to themselves all day. "Mm and who would that be?" she giggled, knowing exactly how their conversation was affecting him, "I think you know," he whispered before circling his arms around her waist, pulling her tightly against him as he leaned down and captured her lips. Sue Ellen knew exactly what the look in his eyes meant and was happy to oblige; opening her mouth and allowing him to take control of the situation. Sue Ellen wrapped her arms around his neck and ran one hand through his hair as JR moved them toward the wall; he was enjoying the way he felt when she was trapped between him and any object, with nowhere else to go, it gave him a sense of power that he just loved. They were so enthralled by each other that they didn't notice Lucy and Kristin running around the corner, before coming to a complete stop, standing in the hallway watching them for a minute and then giggling. Although Kristin understood the objective of finding a husband, she was still a little girl, boys were not attractive, they were gross. Lucy was the same, why anyone would want to be that close to a boy, she'd never know. The sound of giggles from down the hall brought JR out of the trance their kiss had put him in; he pulled away from Sue Ellen and looked toward the noises, though not seeing anything he knew exactly what had happened. Sue Ellen had been lost in their passion and hadn't heard anything, causing her great confusion when JR ended their kiss abruptly.

"…speaking of my daughter, where has she disappeared to?" Patricia queried, Sue Ellen had excused herself at least 15 minutes ago, as she looked around the room she noticed that JR was also absent, there was no doubt in her mind that they were together, she'd have to have a word with her daughter later about politeness and ladylike behaviour. Miss Ellie smiled to herself, JR was missing from the room too, she was sure that they were together, though she didn't have the same doubts or worries that Patricia did. "I'm sure they're fine" Miss Ellie spoke but Patricia was not reassured, Ellie wasn't the mother of a daughter, she didn't have the same things to worry about that Patricia did. "I think I'd better go and find Sue Ellen, I wouldn't want her to get into any trouble" she stood up as two young girls ran past the door, giggling and whispering to each other, "Kristin!" her daughter had been taught better than to run inside a house. The two girls turned around and were motioned into the room by Miss Ellie, she was curious about what they'd bonded over, she'd felt earlier that the two were close in age, but not in mindset; something had brought them together and she was interested in knowing what that was. "Kristin, you know that running inside the house is not allowed. Now, why were you two running and have you seen your sister anywhere?" Patricia spoke before Ellie, but both got their answer as the girls looked at each other and giggled again.

"JR?" she questioned him, she still had no idea what happened and why he'd pulled away so suddenly. "We've been caught" he grinned at her, no longer embarrassed, but amused; they weren't actually doing anything wrong, her mother couldn't scold him for his actions and she surely wouldn't make a fuss in front of his parents. Sue Ellen saw the look on his face, he wasn't worried, though she was a little concerned about what her mother would say when she returned, she'd only intended a short bathroom break. "If anyone asks, it was all your fault", JR gave her a sceptical look as the words escaped her mouth, "what? It was" she grinned at him, no one would believe that sweet, innocent Sue Ellen caused it to happen, despite both of them knowing that she was just as much a willing participant as he was. "I suppose we should be getting back" she started to move away, but he held onto her hand and pulled her back to him, placing a soft kiss on her lips and then slowly released her. "The last one ended badly", she laughed, no one would believe that JR Ewing was sweet and funny, that side of him was well hidden; the cocky, self-confident side was his public façade, but she found both sides very appealing in different ways.

Lucy and Kristin had explained the situation in very simplistic terms before leaving the room and returning upstairs. Patricia and Ellie were able to fill in the gaps and figure out what had happened, Patricia wasn't happy that her daughter had been so open, but didn't say anything because it wouldn't have been appropriate for the social situation. As Teresa laid out the tea set, JR and Sue Ellen returned to the room, her mother's stare was enough to make Sue Ellen's stomach drop, she'd be getting a lecture when they were alone. JR saw Patricia's look, no wonder he hadn't been able to get anywhere with Sue Ellen, the stare she was getting for a simple kiss was enough to make even JR want to behave; he chose to ignored it, he wouldn't have her mother make him feel guilty for something that wasn't bad or even close to immoral. "Nice to see you two back again. Would you like some tea?" Miss Ellie smiled, acknowledging the situation and then moving past it; Sue Ellen was grateful that they were not dwelling on the subject.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen lay in bed and reflected on their day, it had been both good and bad. She was pleased that everything with Jock and Miss Ellie had gone smoothly, but her mother had made sure to give her the predictable speech about her expectations and the standards a lady should live by. She was sick of hearing about the actions of a lady as if she was never good enough. What she and JR did together was between them and no one else, they hadn't even broken any 'rules', but she'd still been chided, it was frustrating more than anything else. JR had been wonderful though, the way he'd answered everyone's questions and how he'd made his intentions known to their families, she felt secure in their relationship and that made her happy. In some ways she agreed with Jock though, she was graduating in the spring and she didn't have any immediate plans after college, she wouldn't really mind getting engaged within the next six months, it would bring them to their one year anniversary and they would probably be ready for the next step, she hoped that they would anyway. It was lonely sleeping by herself, she longed for his touch and to be close to him, she loved the way they fit together and the way he affected her, no other man had ever had the same impact on her emotions or physical response, JR Ewing was definitely the right man for her.

To be continued…


	41. The Christmas Party

**Dallas, Texas**

"I'm sorry your mama and sister couldn't make it" Miss Ellie spoke but Sue Ellen didn't feel quite the same way, she was glad that Kristin was still in school and had social events to attend back in Austin, Southfork was much nicer without her own family there watching over her every move. The semester had ended and Sue Ellen was finally free of academic stress, at least for a few weeks; her Miss Texas duties were not difficult, just time consuming, she didn't mind sitting on a float and waving to the crowds in Christmas parades. She was free to enjoy her time for the next few weeks and JR had been kind enough to arrange a few special events for the two of them, it was rare that they got time alone where they were able to just enjoy their time rather than worry about everyday life. JR still had Ewing Oil on his mind, but they had begun to arrange for their office closure over the holiday period, only the oil fields would be working, not the people in the offices. In the past week, JR had taken her ice-skating, on a carriage ride, to the theatre and to look at the Christmas lights; she'd begun to wonder if he was actually planning to propose sooner than she'd expected, though it hadn't happened yet.

The annual Ewing Christmas party was in full swing, the drinks were free flowing and everyone was having a good time, "Sue Ellen, Bobby" the two were speaking and heard Lucy calling their attention, she often felt left out at parties like this, there weren't many other children invited and sometimes she needed to make her own fun. This year, she'd learnt the meaning of mistletoe, "yes Lucy?" Bobby looked at his young niece, she had a devious look in her eye, this couldn't be good. "Look up" she grinned and Bobby laughed, JR wouldn't be too happy, but it was tradition. Sue Ellen looked up at the same time Bobby did, she was a little more hesitant than Bobby seemed to be, but everyone knew that mistletoe didn't count as cheating, especially a completely platonic, closed mouth kiss, "well…" Lucy was enjoying this more than she should have. Bobby leaned down and gave Sue Ellen a quick, friendly kiss; "so much for loyalty, both of you" JR had walked over at the most unfortunate time, "JR" Sue Ellen was surprised, this wasn't supposed to happen, it didn't even mean anything. "It's not what it looks like" Bobby started to speak in their defence, "mmhm, sure. I can't believe it, out here in the open too. You know, I expected this kind of thing from you Bobby, but not from you Sue Ellen" JR was angry and Sue Ellen was silent, this wasn't at all how the evening was supposed to go, "JR, you're being ridiculous" Bobby was surprised that his brother hadn't noticed the obvious reason for their actions, "I'm being ridiculous? No, you're not going to turn this back on me" JR was still angry; he couldn't believe that they'd do this to him. "Yes, JR, you are. Look up" Bobby pointed at the ceiling and JR followed the direction of his hand, suddenly realising that he had been wrong, though he'd never admit to it. "Yes, well, come on Sue Ellen, I think you and I have a little business of our own to attend to. Bobby, run along and stay away from my girl", in his own way, JR had apologised and Bobby knew there was no hope in getting anything more than that. Lucy had slowly walked away, giggling at the trouble she'd caused, sometimes it was fun to be mischievous.

Sue Ellen followed JR into the downstairs office, away from the party, "I'm sorry JR, it really was just a friendly kiss and nothing more, you know what tradition dictates about mistletoe". JR had already forgiven their actions, but he had Sue Ellen in a wonderful position, begging to get back on his good side, he wasn't going to waste this opportunity like he did the last time. "It didn't look like it. How do I know that you're not interested in him", in hindsight he knew that what he'd witnessed was nothing more than a platonic kiss, but he loved being the one in the position of power. "JR, I promise, I only have eyes for you, I love you, please believe me" she looked like she was about to cry, one stupid action was ruining their relationship. He'd expected her to argue back a little more, but instead she looked about ready to burst into tears, this wasn't how he'd planned it, she was different to his usual sparring partners. His mood softened as he saw her facial expression, the plan to make her beg for his forgiveness would probably send her over the edge, he wanted to enjoy the victory, not feel like a horrible person because he made a woman cry for no good reason. "You'll never do it again?" he met her halfway, still making her work a little for his forgiveness but still being nice enough that he wasn't attacking her, "I promise" she looked into his eyes. "Ok, I forgive you" moving closer to her, he closed the gap between them and kissed her softly, it wasn't really what he'd planned to happen in the office, but it was appropriate for the circumstances surrounding their conversation. As the kiss ended, he whispered that he loved her too and her heart jumped, she enjoyed the small moments where he expressed his feelings for her, it wasn't something he did very often.

"You know, we are all alone in this big office and it would be a waste to let this opportunity be ruined by our previous conversation" she wanted to be close to him in any way she could, but he needed to make the first move, it wouldn't be proper for a lady to propose such a thing. JR was tempted, her outfit alone had made him take notice; though conservative in style, her red dress was tight enough and short enough to leave little to the imagination about the type of body she had. "How about I give you a tour" his voice suggested anything but an innocent walkabout, "lead the way" she took his hand and he walked her around the room, casually using any opportunity to touch her. Both enjoying the intimacy of their actions and there was an underlying sexual tension between the two, as if it were a competition for who could hold out the longest before making a real advance. "You look very handsome in this photograph" she ran her fingers over a framed picture on the bookshelf, JR took hold of her hand as she traced the frame, moving behind her and kissing her neck, "thank you". He'd made the first outward move, anything was fair game now. He continued to place kisses on her neck, increasing the pressure while his hands roamed her body; in the back of his mind he knew that they probably wouldn't get as far as he hoped, but that didn't stop him from trying. He moved from his position behind her, around to face her; changing the focus of his kisses back toward her lips, he began to walk them slowly across the room until she was trapped between his body and the large wooden desk. Sue Ellen saw no harm in their actions; they weren't doing anything immoral or wrong. As JR 's hands felt around her hips, she leaned back, almost sitting atop the desk, her legs snaking around his thighs as they continued their passionate embrace. JR took advantage of her position, moving his hands higher up her skirt than he ever had before, it was a risky move to make, but she didn't seem to be responding badly at all.

"The files should be in here, I remember looking at them a few months ago" Jock, Punk and Jordan were in the middle of a business conversation, everything always came back to the subject of oil with these men. Jock opened the door and the men entered the room, still caught up in their conversation. JR didn't hear the door open, but as soon as the voices entered the room he knew they were no longer alone. Sue Ellen was mortified as the men entered the room, including Jock, the man she would one day call her father-in-law, this was deeply embarrassing for her. JR gave silent thanks that they hadn't entered the room a few minutes later, the way things were going, they would have been caught in an even bigger compromising position. "JR, Sue Ellen" Jock gave a small nod to his son; he could see that Sue Ellen was uncomfortable and the poor girl probably just wanted them to leave and forget the whole thing. JR was a lucky man, Sue Ellen was a very attractive young lady and the position his son had her in was not one that any sane man would turn down the opportunity to swap places with. "Daddy" JR acknowledged his father, but really just wanted them to leave, Sue Ellen smiled weakly, she needed to get out of this room, they couldn't stay here any longer. JR excused them and they walked into the hall, making sure they looked presentable before joining the party again. "Think of it this way darlin', you'll never forget your first Southfork Christmas party", she laughed, somehow he was able to brush off embarrassment and humiliation, as if they didn't bother him, she wished she was more like that sometimes. "On the positive side, better your father than my mother", JR let out a loud laugh as she made a joke that reflected reality just a little too well. This was the Sue Ellen he wished she could channel more often, the girl who didn't take things too seriously and could actually enjoy an unfortunate situation rather than let it ruin her whole evening.

To be continued…


	42. Crossroads

**Austin, Texas**

"You know, I really thought you'd have different news when we returned. Look at all these girls with rings on their fingers. Where is yours? A diamond bracelet, necklace and earrings are nice, but a ring is really what I expected you to be showing me" Paula joked but Sue Ellen didn't laugh, she'd actually half expected the same thing. With JR's insistence that they would be engaged when it was the right time and his increased interest in doing romantic things for her, she had assumed that he was leading up to ask the question, but he hadn't, Christmas and New Year had passed and hadn't moved any further than they were before the holiday break. Her logical mind knew that it was probably too soon anyway, but her emotions clouded her thoughts, she couldn't wait to be his wife; everyone kept mentioning it, but JR never made any moves towards making it happen. The words echoed in her mind, 'when the time is right', she just hoped that that time was soon. "Paula, you know JR, he always has a plan, but he doesn't always let people know of his plan. I'm sure he knows what he's doing. Now, tell me all about your Christmas, that bracelet doesn't look like something either of your parents would purchase", Paula smiled, Sue Ellen knew her well, "well remember how I told you about Roger, my boyfriend in high school, I was a sophomore and he was a senior…"

Sue Ellen returned from a late cheerleading practice, as she walked back from the gymnasium back to the sorority house she thought about the next few months. She'd be graduating in May and the Miss America pageant was in June, there were a few modelling jobs she already had booked and some remaining Miss Texas duties to complete before the crowning of the new Miss Texas, but after June, she would be free to do whatever she wanted with her life. She and JR were under pressure from both of their families to get married soon, but somehow it seemed too soon, though she wouldn't say no if he did ask her. She was at a crossroads, not necessarily right this minute, but coming very soon, if JR didn't ask her to marry him, she had no idea what she wanted to do, should do or would do. Her whole life, she had been raised to marry a wealthy man, there was never another option or even the possibility that it wouldn't happen, modelling was good for when she was young, but it wasn't a career for life. She had a college education, but no real skills and no real desire to have a career as a teacher or secretary, the two jobs that would be open to her as an English major and a woman, times were changing, but not that quickly. Patricia wouldn't be happy with her daughter having to work at all, come May, JR would be under a lot of pressure to propose. Patricia wouldn't have her daughter working to support herself when she had a wealthy boyfriend that she couldn't get to commit, she'd definitely interfere in their relationship and cause problems, whether it be with good intentions or not. She thought about calling and warning JR, but it was January, they still had months until this was a real problem.

"Sue Ellen, your mom is on the phone" a knock at the door snapped her out of her daydream, talking to her mother was the last thing she wanted to do right now. She walked into the common room and answered the phone, glad that there weren't too many other girls in the room, she didn't imagine this would be a pleasant conversation. "Hello mama" she cautiously answered, not sure what to expect, "Sue Ellen, how are you?" Patricia was uncharacteristically excited about how her daughter felt; something was going on. "I'm fine mama, just busy with school and cheerleading. Did you have a special reason for calling?" she waited, there was always an angle, "actually, I did. Do you remember a man named Robert Collins?" she didn't, but she was sure that her mother would remind her. "No, should I?" Patricia sighed, Sue Ellen was so forgetful when it came to important people, "yes, he owns 'Her Style' magazine; you met him a few years ago at a modelling test shoot. Do you remember?" the vague memories were coming back, but Sue Ellen couldn't believe that her mother even remembered this man, he'd barely spoken to either of them. "Yes mama, I remember. What does he have to do with the story?" she was impatient now and just wanted answers, "well, I was with Kristin at the studio, getting a few pictures taken and he was there again, his magazine is mostly for younger girls, but they also have a section for teens and young ladies. They don't sell very well to the older demographic though and are revamping their approach, they're looking for a new girl to be the face of the new and improved magazine. I happened to mention that you were Miss Texas and the future Mrs JR Ewing and he jumped at the chance to meet you. I've organized a lunch for us to attend on Thursday; I will pick you up at 11.30am". Sue Ellen was surprised, for once, her mother going behind her back did actually not upset her, this could turn out to be a good thing. "Fine mama, thank you" they said the goodbyes and Sue Ellen was relieved, it wasn't a bad conversation after all.

**Dallas, Texas**

"Very fine choice Mr Ewing" JR listened to the jeweller, but still wasn't sure about his choice, he wanted something bigger, more expensive, something that was more possessive and would ward off any potential suitors. He was planning on asking Sue Ellen to marry him, he wasn't sure when or where, but a ring seemed like the first thing to have, making it more real. He knew that he wanted to ask her sometime soon, but not too soon, he really didn't want to rush into anything; the pressure of their families was beginning to get to him but he was fairly sure he could at least wait until July, their one year anniversary, that would be sentimental and appropriate timing. "Can I put this one on hold? I'll think about it and get back to you in the morning" he had to make sure that his choice was right, in both jewellery and lifelong commitment, he needed to sleep on it and return with a clear mind, no good long-term choice was ever made in haste.

To be continued…


	43. Carpe Diem

**Austin, Texas**

"Welcome to 'Her Style' magazine Miss Shepard" Mr Collins smiled, this girl would be perfect for the new face of his magazine, they'd start off slow, taking a page from the popularity of 'Seventeen' magazine, but eventually they'd be the new 'Cosmopolitan', growing and changing with their readers. Of course, he didn't mention his eventual plans, Sue Ellen Shepard and her mother seemed like much too proper ladies to go anywhere near the contents of 'Cosmopolitan', but that was exactly what was needed, the transformation of a simple wholesome lady into a sexy lady, the readers would love it, he'd make them love it. Sue Ellen felt confident coming out of their meeting, the pitch sounded wonderful, she'd get to model doing a number of different things and even give her advice to some reader questions. Mr Collins had been very interested in her influence as Miss Texas and hopefully the future Mrs JR Ewing, this job would be good for both of them. As Patricia drove Sue Ellen back to the college campus, she wouldn't stop talking about the opportunities this would bring Sue Ellen, Kristin and herself; that was Patricia, always thinking about how she could use her daughters to benefit and advance her own interests. Sue Ellen was more excited about finally having something to focus on long-term, she didn't want to just sit around and hope that JR would propose, she liked having something to do and modelling was one thing she was talented at.

"Sue Ellen, I like the blue one. Why do you want me to wear the pink one?" Kristin whined, dress shopping was normally fun, but right now, she wasn't enjoying it, she hated being told what to do when it went against what she actually wanted to do. "The pink one is much more pageant queen appropriate, isn't that right Sue Ellen?" Patricia interjected and Sue Ellen hated to agree, but her mother was right, if she wanted to win, she had to have the pink dress, it was just much more appropriate for the occasion. Sue Ellen felt a little bad for her sister, she knew exactly how it felt to be told no and that your own decision was not good enough, she'd had a lifetime of compromises. "You do want to be a beauty queen like your sister don't you?" Patricia was always encouraging Kristin to be in a competition with Sue Ellen, they weren't even very close in age and she was still having to live up to the expectations and standards set by her older sister. Sometimes her sister would help her, but most of the time she just agreed with their mother or she wasn't present to defend Kristin; she hated that even with Sue Ellen away at college and still managed to overshadow the small achievements that she had. "Yes mama. The pink one is lovely" she conceded to their wishes and agreed. "Sue Ellen, have you given any thought to what you will wear in the Miss America pageant?" Patricia moved past her younger daughter and onto her eldest, Kristin sighed, she would always be in the shadow of Sue Ellen. "No mama, the pageant isn't for a few months though, so we still have time", they continued to look around the store and Patricia wandered over toward the bridal section, "these are lovely don't you think Sue Ellen? Yellow, just like the decoration at Southfork", Sue Ellen sighed, it was always about marriage, even when it wasn't about marriage.

**Dallas, Texas**

"Oh that is so exciting Sue Ellen" Miss Ellie gushed, "so, what kind of things will you be doing? Is it just fashion modelling or is there more?" Sue Ellen was visiting Southfork for the weekend, though JR had been tied up with business all day and they hadn't spent much time together, she began to wonder why he'd even invited her to Dallas this weekend, it seemed like he and Jock knew they'd be busy. "Well it's more of a lifestyle genre, a little bit of everything; they want me to be the face of their new direction, it will be like a women's magazine, but for teenagers and younger women. There will be a relationship advice section, a fashion section, some domestic things like recipes and decorating advice, things like that. The idea was pitched to me with my role being the main girl, people will know my name. My Miss Texas title is a big reason why they asked me, there will still be other girls modelling too though. They also said I would be the one giving the advice to reader questions, but so far most of the answers have been written for me and I just approve them for my name to be signed. It really is a fantastic opportunity, my mother is very pleased". Miss Ellie noticed the way Sue Ellen's voice changed at the end of her sentence, she was heavily influenced by her mother's opinions and attitudes, it was apparent that she worked hard for her mother's approval in her life choices.

"It sounds wonderful Sue Ellen, I'm very happy for you. What does JR think?" she smiled, but did genuinely wonder what her son thought of the whole thing. Sue Ellen was making big life choices in the absence of a marriage proposal, she had to have something to fill her time; Ellie wondered why JR was taking so long to ask, why he was so adamant that she belonged to him, but so hesitant to make the real commitment. "Well, he hasn't really said much. I know he's of two minds about me modelling" she left her comment vague, not wanting to start any trouble. JR liked the idea of dating a model, but he also had classic male jealousy and possessiveness when it came to her, he didn't like when other men made it known that they found her attractive. He was ok with her modelling ladies fashion and other things aimed at a female audience, but anything remotely sexy or suggestive was a problem. Sue Ellen didn't really mind too much though, she would never agree to selling her body in that way and her mother would never approve of such things either. The opinions of her mother and boyfriend also gave her the perfect excuse to turn down any offers of that nature; she'd definitely received a few after being crowned as Miss Texas. In her mind she knew that she would give up modelling when she married JR, she wouldn't have any real reason to continue, Jock had made it clear that Ewing women didn't work and her mother was of the same mindset. Sue Ellen was secretly happy about both her mother and Jock being such strong personalities, she didn't mind working as a model, but she enjoyed shopping and socialising a whole lot more, married life would be a nice change; first she had to actually get a proposal from JR though. Miss Ellie nodded at Sue Ellen's comment, she could just imagine what her son would do if his wholesome, virtuous, young girlfriend acted anything less than ladylike, especially in the public eye. She knew her son, he had an eye for loose women, but he'd never publicly flaunt his association with those types, always choosing acceptable women as dates for formal events, keeping his dirty habits behind closed doors. JR underestimated the amount his mother noticed about the way he lived his life; Sue Ellen was good for him and she really did want the best for them, hoping he would propose soon.

"Darlin' I'm sorry that took so long, the oil business waits for no one" he grinned, he and Jock had just acquired a small oil company, it was an excellent buy for Ewing Oil but they'd had to work hard to negotiate a fair price. All the hard work had paid off though; they were quickly on the way to making Ewing Oil the biggest independent in Texas. Sue Ellen smiled at him, "it's ok, business is important, I understand that", there was no point in starting an argument about why he'd invited her to Southfork when he knew he would be busy, she wasn't even that upset about it, she liked spending time with Miss Ellie. It was times like these that she got an idea of what it must be like to be a Ewing wife, her mother had trained her well, she knew what to expect with wealthy, powerful men, a wife shouldn't add her husband's pressures and a wife shouldn't make him uncomfortable, no, she wouldn't say anything. "It is, but thanks to the oil business and my expertise, we have something to celebrate. How about we all go to dinner tonight, mama?" Miss Ellie smiled and agreed, JR was never dull, but he was extra spirited when he was celebrating.

To be continued…


	44. Valentine's Day

**Austin, Texas**

The next month passed and both Sue Ellen and JR were busy with their commitments, it was Sue Ellen's final semester and she was determined to enjoy every aspect of college life before leaving forever. Her mother would have a fit if she continued to live like a college girl after graduation; no, she was on the path to becoming a wife and society lady and there was no room for mistakes, the plan was carefully crafted and Patricia would not allow Sue Ellen to mess everything up. "Sue Ellen, has JR said anything more about your relationship?" Patricia queried her daughter as they ate dinner, she was anxious about Sue Ellen's future and her own future; they'd invested too much time in JR Ewing for it to all fall apart. Sue Ellen sighed, her mother could never just let things be, she was always interfering; she wouldn't have been surprised if JR broke up with her because her family were too much, he didn't like being told what to do and he wasn't really getting enough reward from Sue Ellen to put up with Patricia's constant nagging. "No mama, I told you, when the time is right for us, not anyone else, he will propose", she was frustrated with having no other line to explain their relationship status, timing was the only thing she could use. "He knows I expect an engagement soon, I just don't understand his hesitation. He's such a determined man and you're perfect wife material, I can't see what the problem is. Maybe I should have a word with him" she spoke and Sue Ellen's eyes widened, the worst thing for them right now would be Patricia's intense personality pressuring JR into something he was undecided about. "No mama, please don't interfere. You could ruin everything" Patricia saw the concern in her daughters eyes, she'd hold off for now, but time was running out, Sue Ellen would not be a career woman, she was set to be a wife and she was going to make it happen.

**Dallas, Texas**

Julie answered the door and tipped the flower deliveryman, JR had sent her a big bouquet of gardenias for Valentine's Day, she liked that he remembered some small details about her, gardenias were her favourite flower. She felt a little guilty that he was even sending her flowers though, it wasn't a friendly action, it was more than friendly, she held a place in his life that really should have been reserved for Sue Ellen. She hated herself for letting JR get to her, she had much deeper feelings for him than he had for her and she knew it, but she said nothing and did nothing, allowing him to use her both physically and emotionally. He never gave her the same courtesy, he was never there for her when she wanted or needed something. She read the card more than once, 'hope these make up for my absence –JR', it was short and simple, void of real emotion; it annoyed her that she was so upset about his lack of attention when he couldn't care less that she felt neglected and used. She knew that JR would be with Sue Ellen today, she'd get the complete JR Ewing romantic experience and Julie would get nothing except a lonely day with only a bouquet of flowers to remind her that she did matter to someone, even if it was rather one-sided. She could find another man if she wanted to and she did sometimes, but she never felt anything toward those men and she didn't want to become the female version of JR, using men for one thing. What she wanted was love, a husband who loved her and did special things for her, the same way JR acted toward Sue Ellen. Before JR met Sue Ellen, he was more caring toward Julie, never committed enough to actually start a proper relationship with her though. She had two opinions on Sue Ellen, in some ways she was jealous of her because she had JR and he was so caring toward her. But then she remembered how JR acted when he was with her in bed, he regretted it at first, but then he justified it, he needed to be satisfied and Sue Ellen wasn't doing that for him, she wouldn't want to be in Sue Ellen's position if she found out about their relationship.

**Austin, Texas**

Valentine's Day fell on a Wednesday, but this didn't deter anyone from making big plans, the sorority house was buzzing with activity as flowers were delivered and the girls did nice things for their fellow sorority sisters. Sue Ellen hadn't expected too much, she knew JR had an important job and his life wasn't ruled by fun holidays like Valentine's Day, he wasn't in college anymore, members of the oil community weren't big into handing out cute cards, flowers and chocolates to each other. It surprised Sue Ellen when JR had cleared his calendar to come and spend the day with her, mid-week and he was taking a day off, both her mother and Paula were convinced that his plans were big; Sue Ellen would be engaged by the end of the day. She didn't want to appear too hopeful though, it would only disappoint her if that wasn't his plan.

JR arrived early, he'd planned a full day, it wasn't busy, but there were set times for each event. As Sue Ellen walked down the stairs, he was speechless, he sometimes forgot just how beautiful she was and today, she looked gorgeous, her navy blue dress with button embellishments was perfect for their destination. "Hello darlin'" he kissed her and spoke again, "you look lovely" she got shivers from his tone of voice combined with the way he was looking at her, she was so in love with this man and it made her feel wonderful that he responded in such a way to her. "Thank you, you look very handsome yourself. Am I appropriately dressed for whatever you have planned? I can go and change if I'm not" she always had a need to please and to be proper, "no, you look perfect" he kissed her again and led them out of the house and into his waiting limousine. "I forgot to thank you for the flowers you sent this morning" she moved closer to him, using her forgotten thanks as an excuse, but really just wanting to be close to him. JR had no problem with her closeness, using the driving time between the sorority house and the airfield as the first opportunity of the day to let her know how he felt about her, not using words, but letting physical actions express his emotions.

The limo arrived at the airfield; the Ewing jet was ready and waiting for them. As the car came to a stop, Sue Ellen was saddened to end their kiss, she loved kissing JR, he was so passionate and his vast experience gave him an edge, his kisses were never dull. She hadn't asked what he had planned, he wouldn't have told her anyway; waiting in anticipation was the key to spending time with JR, he always had a plan, but hardly ever verbalised the details, preferring to keep an air of mystery. "We're flying somewhere? Do I get a hint?" she didn't know why she was surprised, he was JR Ewing after all, but she had expected something local, this was more exciting though. "No hints, it's no fun when you figure everything out beforehand" he knew that Sue Ellen wasn't big into surprises, but this wasn't really a surprise, more gentle anticipation for what she knew would be a wonderful day, she would just have to wait to find out why it was so wonderful. They boarded the plane and ate a light breakfast, a few pastries, coffee and some fruit, he knew Sue Ellen would never verbalise that she was uncomfortable because she was hungry and his plans were for a later lunch, so eating now was the best option. Sue Ellen looked out the window as they flew, still unsure of their exact destination, though the scenery told her that they were nearing the Gulf Coast, the plane landed at a small airport about an hour later. Exiting the Ewing jet, Sue Ellen read the sign on the terminal building, 'Welcome to Scholes International Airport at Galveston', she'd been right, they were on the Gulf Coast.

To be continued…


	45. Galveston

**Galveston, Texas**

There was a limousine waiting for them at the airport and she didn't question JR's plan, this was already better than she'd expected. In her whole twenty years of life, she'd only been to the Gulf Coast three times, once when she was very young, before Kristin was born and her parents were still together. The second time when she was about thirteen and Kristin was just a baby, it was the first vacation they'd been on since her father left. The third time was in her senior year of high school, her geography class had taken a trip to the Aransas National Wildlife Refuge, it had been a three and a half hour bus journey each way, but the scenery was beautiful and much different to that in Austin. She imagined that today would bring her a completely new set of memories to attach to the Gulf Coast location in her mind.

JR observed Sue Ellen as they were flying; she was almost childlike as he could see her mind working to define their location. As the plane descended to land, she looked pleased with herself; she'd obviously guessed they were heading down to the coast. There was a comfortable silence in the limo as they drove toward their first stop; JR hoped that she wouldn't be disappointed with his arrangements, though from the look on her face, nothing could disappoint her today. They stopped near a pier and Sue Ellen saw a large white 1800's replica paddlewheel boat, they were taking a harbour cruise this morning. The boat looked big enough to hold hundreds of people, but they were the only two guests on-board, apart from the crew, the boat was all theirs; their private cruise must have cost JR thousands, especially on Valentine's Day. "JR, this is wonderful, it's so beautiful out here" she commented as they stood on the open deck and admired the harbour. They had a tour guide for part of the cruise, explaining the historic sights and marine life as the boat passed by; the narrated tour was only for main sights and was unobtrusive, giving JR and Sue Ellen time to enjoy the experience together. The boat moved along the coastline, "look over there!" she pointed at the pod of dolphins jumping out of the water, JR liked seeing the dolphins, but he liked seeing how giddy Sue Ellen was even more; they watched the dolphins swim before disappearing under the water.

As they stood outside, Sue Ellen started to get cold, it was still technically winter and though the weather was sunny, it was still chilly outside. "You're shivering, let's go inside" he ushered her away from the deck and they sat down on a small couch facing a large window, perfect for viewing the harbour from inside. JR sat in a relaxed position while Sue Ellen leaned into him, she loved being close to him and right now it had the added benefit of mutual warmth. A well-prepared crewmember arrived with a blanket and two mugs of hot chocolate, JR hadn't even planned that to happen, they were obviously good at their job. JR and Sue Ellen sat and talked, not about anything memorable or spectacular, just a comfortable conversation between two people who cared about each other. They came to a relaxed and content silence as they enjoyed the view out the window and Sue Ellen contemplated how wonderful she felt in this moment, she loved JR and if this was their relationship after only a few months, she couldn't wait to see it develop over a lifetime. JR held her close, he didn't want to let her go, it still surprised him how different he felt with her; he was never a romantic, not long-term anyway. He always had game, but he used it to charm women into bed and satisfy his own interests rather than anything else, he never cared before whether women were actually having a good time or not. A woman like Sue Ellen wouldn't normally be worth the effort he was putting in, she wasn't giving him the reward he was looking for and wasn't giving in to his persuasion, the strong feelings he had for her was what was saving their relationship. It also helped a lot that his family adored her, she would be the perfect wife and his parents would finally stop lecturing him about finding the right woman. There were a few personal drawbacks of marriage though; fidelity and personal taste were the big ones. He didn't know whether he could commit to just one woman for the rest of his life; before Sue Ellen, he hadn't even had to commit to women to get what he wanted, the idea of never having another woman again was one that scared him. At the moment, he didn't really think of Julie as the woman he was cheating with, because he wasn't choosing her over Sue Ellen, he was just respecting the boundaries set in place by Sue Ellen while also satisfying his own needs. He didn't have the self-control that Sue Ellen did, he wondered how she did it, he could barely last two days without companionship or self-satisfaction. Sue Ellen was much too proper be was solving her problem the same way he was. He admired what a perfect lady she was, he was far from the perfect gentleman, but her being so ladylike and pure made him concerned that with marriage came a lifetime of frustration, the way a husband treated his wife was much different to the way he treated his mistress. He would never ask or expect Sue Ellen to behave in the way other women did; she would never do the things they did, the things JR was used to and enjoyed. It concerned him that if he married her, he'd be locked into a lifetime of unhappiness in the one area that he needed to stay sane. It wasn't a conscious battle he was having with himself, it was deep in his subconscious, he didn't know exactly why he was so hesitant about asking her to marry him, he just knew that in the back of his mind, something was holding him back. The one thing he did know was that he loved her and if she wanted to wait, then he would wait; he was smarter than to ruin a good thing because he was impatient. "I love you," he whispered, making it known that he really did care and that although he wasn't quite ready to fully commit, he was emotionally invested. Sue Ellen smiled at his words, this was not a position many women had ever been in with him and she felt privileged and honoured to be the chosen one, she had a feeling that his romantic state was build-up toward the four little words that everyone wanted him to ask.

The boat tour ended and they disembarked, Sue Ellen was enamoured with JR and pleased with the way their day had turned out so far. It was only lunchtime and she already felt like she'd made some memories to last a lifetime, she hoped that by the end of the day, she would have one big memory to associate with the date and location. "JR, I don't think I compliment you enough, you have excellent date planning skills" she smiled to herself as she thought about their first date and how she'd been disappointed, doubting that his date could match the way he'd pursued her. She had been wrong and she felt silly for thinking that JR didn't have a plan, everything figured out exactly the way he wanted it; JR always had a plan and everyone else was just a pawn. "Thank you, a lot of people underestimate me. They shouldn't" he grinned and she laughed, he was talking about more than just her compliment. The limousine stopped outside a beautiful, large building and the driver opened their door, JR took her hand and led her inside. They made their way toward the Galvez Bar &amp; Grill inside the historic Hotel Galvez, Sue Ellen admired the architecture and decoration while visualizing the ways a possible proposal could take place. She blamed her mother for all of this, she couldn't get marriage off her mind and was expecting more than she rationally believed she would get, she couldn't stop thinking about it and it was ruining the moment. She couldn't even enjoy what was happening now because she was thinking about what was to come in the future. They ate lunch and JR noticed that she seemed distracted, "did something happen?" she looked at him confusedly, "no. Why?" she didn't know what he was referring to, they'd just been talking like they normally did, or she thought they had. "Well, I mentioned your birthday and asked you if you had any plans and you didn't respond. That is highly unusual; normally you'd be eager to talk about an exciting event like that. Are you sure nothing is wrong?" she blushed, had she really ignored him like that? She didn't even remember hearing him mention her birthday. "Well, no, not wrong. I just have something running through my mind and it won't go away. It's not important though. As for the answer to your question, no, I hadn't planned anything yet. Why? Do you have something special in the works?" She tried to deflect the attention from what was bothering her; she didn't want to have another conversation about how they were waiting for the right time, her mother had successfully infiltrated her thoughts and she wasn't sure she would be able to stop herself from asking about his intentions, exactly what he didn't need to hear from her. JR could almost read her thoughts, he knew that she was thinking about marriage, but he didn't want to disappoint her by bringing it up; a proposal was not part of today's plan and he'd rather not deal with another conversation about 'the right time', they were finally free of their families and the question was still hanging over them. "I may have a little something planned, but no hints" he grinned and she smiled, this was the kind of conversation she liked, playful and not pressured.

To be continued…


	46. First Edition

**Austin, Texas**

"Sue Ellen, your mom is here. She's waiting downstairs", she was dreading seeing her mother, she was just as unengaged as she was yesterday, not what her mother would want to hear. "Sue Ellen, I was worried, you didn't call me last night like I asked you to", Patricia's words sounded concerned to an outsider, but Sue Ellen knew what her mother meant and it wasn't concern for her daughters safety or wanting to know how fun their date was. "I'm sorry mama, I was very tired last night, yesterday was a long day" she didn't quite know how to break the news that she and JR were still in the same place they'd been for months. "Well, I see your ring finger is still empty. I think I need to have a strong conversation with JR, you aren't getting any younger and if he waits much longer, he may get bored with you, we can't have that happening now can we?" Her mother's words hurt Sue Ellen, the age comment was particularly bad, her whole life was based around how she looked and she did feel pressured to look her best, getting older wasn't something she could control and it wasn't something she thought she had to worry about yet, she wasn't even twenty one. Her mother claiming that JR would get bored also hurt, she knew his reputation and it was a fear she had in the back of her mind, he was notorious for enjoying the chase and then becoming uninterested once he'd reaped the rewards. She always wondered if that would happen to her, especially as she was holding the rewards back from him, what if he married her, got what he wanted and then became uninterested? He said he loved her, but what about his basic human nature? Things like that didn't change did they? They both had issues and insecurities they needed to fix before they got married and the pressure everyone put them under to do it as quickly as possible made their issues seem much worse and more concerning than they probably were. "Mama, you know JR, he doesn't take kindly to people telling him what to do, you may just ruin everything if you try and persuade him to do anything other than what he has planned. Please, stay away from JR" Patricia saw the pleading look in her daughters eye, but she wasn't convinced that he wouldn't listen to her, she agreed to let it go, but next time she saw JR, she would definitely be asking him a few hard questions. Her daughter was the perfect package and if JR Ewing wouldn't commit, then there were plenty of other wealthy men who would.

**Dallas, Texas**

"Uncle JR, look!" Lucy interrupted JR as he read the morning newspaper; he knew she wouldn't go away until he paid attention to her, "Sue Ellen is in the magazine" JR's interest in the conversation was piqued, he knew about her new modelling job, but hadn't thought about it too much, until now. There was an introductory paragraph about the new and improved section of the magazine, the current Miss Texas, Sue Ellen Shepard, would be the face of the campaign. A picture of Sue Ellen being crowned Miss Texas reminded JR of that night, he'd fallen in love with her the first time he saw her. There was an explanation of the updated content as well as the invitation for readers to write in with questions and Sue Ellen would answer them. He turned the page and smiled at how good she looked doing domestic things, he was sure that the aim of the photographs was not for her to look sexy, the demographic was young women, not men; but she made even the simplest tasks look glamorous and appealing. She looked great in the kitchen, demonstrating the cake recipe printed in the magazine. There was another picture of her in a short, white tennis dress alongside an article about spring and summer sports. She even made cleaning look glamorous, something he knew wasn't, he'd never seen Teresa look that happy when vacuuming the house. He laughed at the actual content of the articles; did women really need a magazine to remind them that no one likes a dusty home? No wonder they weren't given high powered jobs. He wasn't too interested in the articles after reading the silly common sense they were advising, but assumed that women must find something about the articles appealing, otherwise no one would buy the magazine. JR was more interested in the pictures of Sue Ellen, he'd have to suggest playing tennis sometime, that skirt accentuated her legs perfectly. Her apron was cute too, the old-fashioned side of him found it very appealing to imagine the two of them as an average income couple where she was the housewife and he was the breadwinner. No maid, ranch house or oil riches would be the downside, but he'd get to see her cook dinner and enjoy it, something they didn't get the luxury of at Southfork. He wondered if she'd be into role-playing those sorts of things, it wasn't dirty and unladylike, just very appealing to his inner man.

"Doesn't Sue Ellen look pretty?" Lucy spoke and JR was reminded that he wasn't alone, "she sure does, that's why I picked her" he grinned, it was the truth, he'd been immediately attracted to her even before he spoke to her. There were more things he liked about her now obviously, but the reason he'd even approached her was because of the affect her whole presence had on him, she achieved sexiness and appeal without even trying. "You know, there is a whole page about dating advice, if you don't marry her soon, some other man may come and sweep her off her feet" Lucy was young, but she was good at picking up on social behaviours. She also enjoyed pushing people and seeing how far she could get before they became annoyed; her comment would certainly irritate her uncle. Sue Ellen was everything the perfect wife was supposed to be and everyone was pushing the two toward marriage, if JR didn't ask her soon, she had the feeling that Sue Ellen's mother wouldn't be very pleased and would take matters into her own hands. She'd seen the way other men looked at Sue Ellen when they were shopping together or there was a party at Southfork. Sue Ellen was the type of girl that people noticed and she would have no trouble finding another man if she wasn't with JR. Lucy didn't understand them though, they said they planned on getting married, but JR never said when or made any indication that it would be soon. It had to be something that only adults understood, because she was thoroughly confused by the situation. "Thank you Lucy" JR replied curtly, the child had a special ability to needle him with few words; they were a lot more alike than he'd ever admit.

**Austin, Texas**

"We just need you to read and answer these questions and then you can leave" Sue Ellen sat in a meeting with the editor of 'Her Style' magazine, they'd received a positive response from Sue Ellen's first appearance in the magazine and were working on the second issue. Sue Ellen didn't have to do much except for model and make a few casual comments for quotes in the articles, she was actually rather pleased with the way the whole thing operated, the writers at the magazine would do most of the work for her and she would still get credit for 'her ideas'. The reader questions were standard high school and college girl problems, dating advice, college life as well as a few about domestic issues like cooking for beginners and keeping a bedroom or dorm room tidy. She didn't feel like it was difficult to come up with answers to the questions and anything she didn't know how to answer was handed over to the magazine staff or she was given suggestions. Exiting the building after her meeting, she made her way back to the campus. She needed to finish some of the class work she had been avoiding, she was beginning to feel the effects of senioritis, she was ready to be done with college assignments forever and if working life was like her job at 'Her Style', it may not be so bad after all.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews, there is a plan in place for what is happening and I've heard your suggestions.**


	47. Unexpected

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen opened the door to the bedroom she and Paula shared, there were clothes everywhere and Paula sat silently on her bed, "what's wrong? You look like you've been crying" she was worried about her friend; Paula was never emotional like this. Paula didn't respond to Sue Ellen's question, instead directing her toward a completely different topic, "are you free this Sunday? I'm getting married and I'd love for you to be my bridesmaid". Sue Ellen was confused, Sunday was three days away and Paula hadn't even been engaged this morning, she and Roger had barely been dating three months, "well yes, but I'm going to need an explanation for everything, because I can't work out why you'd be getting married so quickly and why you're upset. Marriage is supposed to make people happy". Paula moved toward the window, she couldn't face Sue Ellen as she spoke, "I take it all back, you're the smart one, I was the risk taker and I knew the possible consequences, I took all the precautions and it still happened", it took a minute to register with Sue Ellen, but she finally understood what Paula was so upset about. "Is it Roger's?" she hated that her friend had to go through this, "the dates match up, that's the one thing I am happy about, if it was going to be anyone, I'm glad it was Roger. I really do care for him; I think I may even love him. He has a good job and his family are all very nice, though I'm not sure they'll like me much when they find out", Sue Ellen moved toward her friend and hugged her, she needed support, not questions right now.

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR, I'm sorry, something has come up and I have to cancel our weekend plans" she apologised on the phone and JR listened, it had to be important if she was cancelling, she loved coming out to Southfork for the weekend. "Is everything ok? Do you need help?" he wanted her to be able to tell him things, but she hadn't offered much of an explanation, "yes, everything is fine. It's just something that I really have to do and it can't wait. I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you soon", she obviously wasn't going to confide in him and he didn't want to start an argument. The ended their phone call and JR went back to work, though Sue Ellen's pressing issue was now the only thing he could think about, he had to know, what if she was in trouble, or even worse, what if she was with another man? Dialling the number he launched into his request, "Harry, it's JR, I need you to send someone to Austin and report back to me about the activities of Sue Ellen Shepard. An immediate start would be helpful, and make sure it's discreet, I don't want anyone else knowing about this", he felt a little guilty about having her followed, but he had to know what she was up to.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen walked through baby department of The Store, she'd only intended to come in to buy a wedding gift, but something pulled her toward the nursery area. Paula was slowly coming to terms with the pregnancy and the upcoming marriage and Sue Ellen was excited to be included in the events, especially when it meant that she could shop. Roger had been very understanding and about the whole thing, they would marry on Sunday and Paula would finish the remaining ten weeks of the semester in Austin, before moving back to Dallas with Roger. She was lucky that she was only eleven weeks pregnant right now, she was still small and no one would really be able to tell, especially with the A-line and empire waist dresses that were in fashion. At graduation she would be about twenty three weeks, but everyone would know she was married and with a loose fitting dress and her gown on, no one would question how far along she was. Sue Ellen was pleased that everything was turning out fairly well, it could have been much worse. She had already selected a few homeware items for the wedding, a set of plates, cups and bowls as well as an electric hand mixer and bowl; she was sure that Paula probably already had sheets and towels in her hope chest. Browsing the baby section, she selected three newborn sleepers in white, yellow and green, gender neutral because they wouldn't know the sex of the baby until it was born; she also purchased a silver photo frame and crocheted baby blanket. The shopping trip made her think about her own future; she would love to be a mother one day, and hopefully that day would be soon. Paula's wedding and pregnancy was bringing her own feelings to the surface, she really did want to marry JR and she would love a proposal by the time she graduated. Marriage and motherhood would give her a purpose and it would make everyone happy.

"By the power vested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife. Roger, you may kiss your bride" there was only a small crowd, Sue Ellen, Roger and Paula's parents and Roger's best friend David, everyone clapped while the newlyweds kissed and the pastor waited to speak again. "It's my great honour and privilege to be the first to present to you Mr and Mrs Roger Hensley"; the newly married couple walked down the aisle and out of the church. As everyone gathered afterward, Sue Ellen's mind moved toward her own wedding day again, she definitely had wedding fever; she was ready to settle down, be a good wife and have as many children as JR wanted. As much as she had resisted turning into exactly what her mother wanted, she had come to the realisation that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to aspire to, she didn't really want to be a working woman and her life as Mrs JR Ewing would be wonderful, that was all she really wanted, a happy life. The group celebrated the wedding at the restaurant inside the Stephen F. Austin Hotel and when the celebration was over, Sue Ellen returned to the sorority house. She hadn't told her mother that Paula was getting married, she just couldn't deal with that conversation right now, things were tense between them lately and that kind of news would not be good for their relationship.

**Dallas, Texas**

"On Friday morning she went shopping at The Store in downtown Austin, she was there for two hours. She then went to lunch before going to her mother's house; she stayed there Friday night and returned to the sorority house on Saturday after lunch. That afternoon she went to the Gregory Gym and spent thirty minutes running the track before returning to the sorority house. She and a few other girls had dinner at a local diner and spent the evening there, they just talked amongst themselves and were alone, no male guests were present. On Sunday morning, she left the sorority house wearing a pale pink formal dress and drove to a small church downtown; the bride looked about the same age as Miss Shepard, and the groom was a few years older. It was a small wedding, only six guests in total, Miss Shepard appeared to be the bridesmaid and another man was the groomsman, they didn't interact much except for a few friendly words. The wedding party celebrated at the Stephen F. Austin Hotel restaurant before Miss Shepard returned to the sorority house alone just before midnight. On Monday morning, Miss Shepard went to her classes before attending a cheerleading practice and having dinner with two other girls, there was no further activity that we noted". JR listened to the report, it all sounded quite normal, except Sue Ellen was a bridesmaid in a wedding and had kept it a secret from him, something was not quite right about the situation. "Thank you; I will remember your help in the future. No further investigation is required", the man left the file with JR and left the office.

**Austin, Texas**

"Excuse me", a middle-aged woman interrupted Sue Ellen as she walked around the drugstore, she looked up and the woman spoke again, "are you Miss Texas?", "yes" Sue Ellen nodded and smiled, "my little daughter thinks you are very pretty, she's seen your picture in that new magazine" the woman gushed. "Oh, thank you, that's very flattering. Is she here with you?" Sue Ellen looked around for a younger girl, "no, unfortunately she's at school, she'll be upset that she missed you. Would you be able to autograph something for her?" Sue Ellen took a pen out of her purse and signed a small paper for the woman's daughter. The woman watched as Sue Ellen opened her purse, a small blue pamphlet was folded in the side pocket, she could just make out the word 'expecting'. She looked at Sue Ellen's basket of items she was purchasing; a new mascara and eyeliner, a face moisturiser and a small bottle of 'vitamins'. "Is it true that you're dating the owner of Ewing Oil?" the woman became nosey and Sue Ellen wondered why she was asking, "yes, well, he's the vice president, but it's a family company". The woman nodded, "will you be marrying him soon? I read in the newspaper that you were soon to be engaged", Sue Ellen didn't like how she was prying into her personal life, she didn't even have an answer for her own mother, she certainly didn't want to answer some random passer-by. "We'll see. I really must be going, tell your daughter hello from me" she quickly walked toward the cash register and paid for her items, she didn't want to answer any more questions today.

To be continued…


	48. Petulance

**Dallas, Texas**

'A baby for Miss Texas?', JR read and reread the newspaper headline, of course it was in the gossip section which was notoriously unreliable, but it was still published and it had comments from a woman who was claiming the story was absolutely true. Even if it wasn't true, the damage was already done, it would have everyone talking and that kind of talk was not what he needed right now, not for her, not for him and not for Ewing Oil. He was fairly certain that it wasn't true, if he couldn't even get that far, no other man was that lucky either; or so he reasoned, he had doubts in the back of his mind. She had lied to him about her whereabouts the previous weekend and she had complained about feeling ill last month, the article quoted a woman who saw her buying vitamins and spotted a leaflet about motherhood; what if she was expecting? There was no other explanation for why she would need vitamins, she was young and healthy. JR was glad he was the first Ewing at the breakfast table; he couldn't deal with questions he didn't have answers to, he hated not being in control. Perhaps the best thing to do would be to talk to Sue Ellen, then she'd have to explain it to him; but he was angry, if this was true then she wasn't the girl he thought she was and they couldn't be together, he wouldn't have it. JR quickly ate his breakfast, folded the newspaper and left the house.

"Harry, I want to speak to that detective you had following Sue Ellen" JR sat in his office and impatiently waited for his call to be answered. "How can I help you Mr Ewing?" the detective finally answered and JR launched into his request, asking whether Miss Shepard did anything remotely related to motherhood. "Yes sir, when she was shopping at The Store, she shopped in three sections, ladies clothes, home and kitchenware and nursery. She purchased a photo frame, baby clothes and a blanket as well as her other items, but the other things weren't related to motherhood". JR was angry, how did this happen? She would freeze up if he even made a slightly suggestive move, but she gave in to some other man and was now having his baby. "I don't know why you didn't tell me these details when you were here, I told you I wanted to know everything" JR wouldn't be using this detective again, he obviously couldn't follow instructions. "I'm sorry Mr Ewing" the man apologised and JR hung up.

**Austin, Texas**

"Sue Ellen Shepard! Open this door right now!" Patricia had bypassed the common room waiting area of the sorority house and gone directly to find her daughter, this news report had to be false, but the damage was already done to her reputation. Sue Ellen was still sleeping, her class wasn't until eleven in the morning and she'd spent the night finishing an essay, she was tired. The sound of banging combined with her mother's voice screaming her full name startled her out of her slumber; nothing that had her mother acting like this could be good. Groggily she opened the door, Paula was still sleeping but Patricia barged her way into the room anyway. "What is the meaning of this?" the newspaper was in her face and Sue Ellen's eyes widened, this was worse than she thought, she couldn't tell her mother the real reason why she had been shopping for vitamins, Paula hadn't made her pregnancy public yet and she wasn't going to throw her friend under the bus just to protect herself. "It's a huge misunderstanding mama, I promise you, I am not with child. The newspaper is wrong, they made an assumption and that assumption is completely untrue", she pleaded with her mother to believe her. Paula sat up in her bed, the sound of the argument had woken her; "how am I supposed to believe you, you haven't given me much to trust you about lately. I knew I shouldn't have started to let you be alone with JR Ewing again". "It's not her fault, it's mine" she decided that she'd have to go public sometime, and she was a married woman now; the two women looked over toward her, "excuse me?" Paula took a deep breath and began to speak, "the items weren't for Sue Ellen, they were for me. She was going into town and asked whether I needed anything, she was just fulfilling my request". The three women talked, Patricia was upset that Sue Ellen's reputation was being dragged through the mud because her roommate was a scarlet woman; she had tried to warn Sue Ellen against mixing with girls like that for this very reason.

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR!" Jock burst into JR's office, he'd picked up a newspaper on his way to work, the one they had delivered to Southfork every morning was gone. He didn't usually read the gossip column, but the headline had caught his eye as he flicked through to the business section. JR jumped as Jock entered the room, he had been in deep thought since his phone call ended. "Is this true?" his words were forceful and demanding; he wanted a grandson and Sue Ellen would be the perfect woman to provide his grandson, but the two weren't married and the baby be an illegitimate child. The Ewing heir was supposed to be of good breeding and born in wedlock, this was not the plan, JR had once again messed up a good thing. "I don't know Daddy, I haven't spoken to her. I can't imagine that there is any truth in these claims though, Sue Ellen is a lady and ladies don't do things like that" he tried his best to sound reassuring to his father and the hint of bitterness in his voice was apparent, Jock quickly ascertained that the hypothetical child was not a Ewing. "I think you need to control your girlfriend, go and find out what the hell is going on. If this is a blatant lie, then we'll make sure that everyone knows it, nobody talks about the Ewings like that and get away with it" Jock was a tough man and he wouldn't have his family name besmirched.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen skipped her classes for the day, gathering a few of her books she drove over to her mother's house to study, she didn't want to be answering questions all day and Patricia wouldn't have anyone misinterpreting her words and printing them in a newspaper, that would only add fuel to the fire. Patricia wanted to call the newspaper herself and get a retraction printed, but that would only call more attention to the whole thing; ladies did not dignify insults by answering them. Sue Ellen would say nothing and wait for the scandal to go away, people would quickly grow tired of debating a non-issue with no solid evidence.

JR mentally checked her schedule; she had class earlier in the day, but nothing this afternoon. She was either holding her head high and braving the world, or she was at her mother's house. He told the driver to take him from the airport to Patricia's house first, it was closer than driving to the college and then to her mother's house if she wasn't at college. Politely knocking on the door, he made sure that he was calm; the last thing he needed was an angry Patricia on the attack from the minute he arrived. "Good afternoon Mrs Shepard, is Sue Ellen available?" he did his best to act courteously, addressing her formally even though he usually called her by her first name. Patricia was surprised when JR knocked on the door, she hadn't expected him to make a trip to Austin just to discuss a silly little gossip column; she'd mentally downplayed the whole thing after talking it through with her daughter, JR didn't need to be here, he would mess with Sue Ellen's mind and convince her to change the plan. Sue Ellen was in her bedroom and didn't hear the knock at the door, she did however hear JR attempting to schmooze her mother; she knew Patricia was volatile right now, JR didn't have a chance if he said one word out of place. "Mama, why didn't you tell me JR was here?" she walked down the stairs and into the living room; JR looked her up and down and put the two pieces of evidence before him together, Patricia was being friendly and Sue Ellen looked apologetic and physically she was as willowy as the day they met. "Sue Ellen" he greeted her coldly, he needed to hear it from her before he expressed anything; Sue Ellen was taken aback by his tone, he'd been so cordial toward her mother but the same warmth was absent in the way he spoke to her. "JR, firstly, I'm sorry, I never intended for anything like this to happen, and secondly, the story is completely untrue, the newspaper misinterpreted everything" she spoke quickly and looked at him, he still didn't show any emotion.

"So, we'll sue. Nobody spreads lies like that about the Ewings and by association this reflects badly on me", JR couldn't think of any other option, he couldn't just let them get away with it. Sue Ellen looked across the room at Patricia, her mother quietly leaving her alone to deal with JR, she would normally be confrontational, but she chose today to allow Sue Ellen to deal with her own problems, something Sue Ellen did not appreciate, "no, that will only make things worse. We will leave this in today's newspaper. There will be no response and no reaction; everyone will forget about it in a few days" Sue Ellen tried to persuade him to see it their way, but he was not happy. "Just ignore it? That is your plan? No, we need to make sure no one ever spreads gossip like this again and the only way to do that is to make an example of the people who made these malicious lies up" JR had calmed down as she explained the situation, but her choice in retaliation was making him angry again. "JR Ewing is not passive, JR Ewing does not let people spread lies and get away with it" Sue Ellen listened, he was in a vengeful mindset, he wouldn't listen to what should be done, he had his own ideas. "JR, they barely mentioned you, please, just leave it alone", she pleaded but it was no use, "barely mentioned me? They basically claimed that you were a common whore and I was one of several possible fathers, how are you not upset about this? As long as you and I are together, what you do reflects on me. If we do nothing and let people believe these lies then that opens the door for all sorts of people to start fabricating stories. There are people who will take advantage of that weakness; I do not need to be paying blackmailers because they are threatening to leak false stories. I don't think you understand, I am a wealthy, powerful man and by association, the way people see you, impacts on me. We have to fight this, we cannot do nothing" his voice rose as he spoke, he was angry that she let this happen and angry that she was fighting him on his decision. Sue Ellen was annoyed, he clearly only cared about his own reputation and whether she made him look bad. "But…" JR cut her off before she even started to speak, if she just agreed to what he had suggested then they wouldn't have a problem, he was an expert in dealing with unpleasant people. "Sue Ellen" he growled, "stop acting like a child and listen to me. We will deal with this in my way and that is final" he was angry, she was frustrating him and they were getting nowhere, he wasn't going to do it her way so they may as well stop the argument now. "But why…" she whined before realising she really was acting like a child, "fine, if I'm such a bad associate, maybe we shouldn't be together anymore" she blurted the words out before she thought, almost immediately regretting opening her mouth. JR was shocked, both that she had spoken to him that way and that she'd suggested separating, he wouldn't let it show though, he was stubborn and full of pride, letting a woman get to him was a sign of weakness, he wasn't going to let it show that she had disturbed him. "If that's the way you want it then fine. Call me when you decide to see things my way", he got up, collected his hat and walked out the front door. Sue Ellen was left sitting in shock, everything had happened so fast and she wasn't sure exactly how they'd gotten to this point. Who was supposed to apologise in this situation? She didn't even know what the state of their relationship was. Did they just break up or was this just a silly little fight?

To be continued…


	49. Surrender

**Austin, Texas**

It had been over three weeks and neither had called to apologise, they were both too stubborn to see the other's viewpoint. Sue Ellen thought her mother's plan worked, say nothing and act like it never happened and people will forget about it; and they did, no further articles had come of it and she was able to brush off the few people that did still ask her. It helped that Paula had announced her marriage and convinced everyone that she must have conceived on her wedding night. College girls were naïve in some respects, they couldn't tell the difference between a small fourteen week bump and a four week barely there bump, especially when wearing A-line dresses. Little did Sue Ellen know, the lack of negative press coverage was down to JR using his Ewing influence and questionable business ethics. Just because she had told him no did not mean that he would listen to her; he went ahead with his plan anyway, under the radar of course; striking a deal with the newspaper, no lawsuit as long as they dealt with the staff members the way he instructed. Friday was Sue Ellen's twenty first birthday and she didn't have many expectations; she was just planning on having dinner and drinks with a few of the other girls who were already twenty one. Though everyone at college already drank at parties, she didn't want a big party right now, she didn't feel right celebrating while part of her life was in turmoil.

**Dallas, Texas**

"Her schedule is fairly routine every week; college classes, photo sessions, cheerleading, sorority and fraternity mixers, spending time at her mother's house and occasionally meeting with the representatives for the Miss Texas pageant. Are you sure you want me to keep following Miss Shepard?" JR looked through the folder as the man spoke, just because he and Sue Ellen weren't talking, didn't mean he wasn't still interested in her activities. "Yes, keep following her until I tell you to stop. That will be all for today" he stood and showed the man out of his office. JR was stubborn, he was not going to apologise for something that he was ultimately right about; his way had fixed things, she was no longer in a precarious position thanks to him. If anyone was going to make the first move, it would have to be her.

As he undressed and changed clothes, JR opened the drawer where he kept his cufflinks and watch; a small box sat in the back of the drawer, out of sight but not out of mind. JR was reminded of the contents of the box every time he opened the drawer; originally planning to give it to Sue Ellen on her birthday, the plan had changed since he bought it. He was conflicted, her birthday was later in the week and he didn't want her to be upset in thinking that he didn't love her anymore, that's what the whole fight was about, how much he loved her and the lengths he would go to to make sure she didn't suffer. But he was also bull-headed and determined to not apologise for something that he didn't see as wrong. Maybe he should just send a token gift, something to show that he still cared, but not too showy, he didn't want it to be misinterpreted.

**Austin, Texas**

"Sue Ellen, I've been thinking", Sue Ellen sighed, she could almost guess what her mother was going to say next, "now, I don't know what is going on with you and JR, but it doesn't seem like you'll be getting a ring anytime soon. I hate to see my eldest daughter spend her twenty first birthday without a date, so Billy Frampton has kindly agreed to take you out on Friday night", Sue Ellen was annoyed, her mother was always interfering in her life. "Mama, did you not listen when I told you that I already have plans for Friday night? I'm going out with my friends", Patricia sighed, the kind of place she would be going was not at all suitable for a young lady like her daughter, "are you sure that dinner at a nice restaurant doesn't sound more fun? You can order a bottle of red wine; much classier than going to a dance club". Sue Ellen decided to play her mother's game, "you're right mama, I'll talk to Billy, maybe we could do both, he could chaperone me, make sure that I don't disgrace the Shepard name" she had started agreeable but ended up bitter; she hated people telling her what to do when she'd already made up her mind. "Oh Sue Ellen, you're just being silly now, he'll escort you, not chaperone you. Now, why don't you go and pick out a nice dress, something appropriate" she smiled though she was hostile and Sue Ellen knew better than to start a full argument now.

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR? Is Sue Ellen busy again this weekend?" Miss Ellie was suspicious, her son had covered their problems with the excuse that Sue Ellen had a full schedule, but she knew it had to be some kind of a fight or disagreement, Sue Ellen had to at eat and JR hadn't made one trip down to Austin for weeks, not even for a midweek dinner. "Yes mama" he didn't make eye contact, knowing that he was lying to his mother and not wanting to answer any questions about why he wasn't with her. "When does the semester end? I'd love for her to start coming back to Southfork more regularly when she's finished with college, I'd gotten used to her company", JR felt guilty as he listened to his mother speak, at this rate, Sue Ellen wouldn't even be back by the time the semester ended. "May seventeenth is her final exam, but mama, she's a busy lady, you know, preparing for the Miss America pageant and modelling for that magazine that Lucy likes. She may not be able to just drop everything and come out to Southfork because you miss her" he was unintentionally short with his mother; this subject wasn't something he wanted to talk about. "I'm sorry mama, I'm busy, she's busy, we're both just having scheduling problems. I'll be sure to send your regards next time I speak with her. I have to go to work now, but I'll see you later" he stood and left the table quickly. Miss Ellie wasn't sure what was really going on, but it wasn't something that JR was willing to discuss.

It was Friday morning and JR still hadn't received any sort of apology or request for forgiveness from Sue Ellen; it was almost as if she still believed that she was right in the argument. It hadn't occurred to him that she had no idea of his involvement in her fate, she didn't just get lucky, he made her lucky; but she had no way of knowing that, JR had acted discreetly. He had made a small gesture, but not enough for him to look weak, the one thing he was afraid of. Being the polite lady she was, she'd at least call and thank him, then he'd be able to talk her into apologising and admitting that she was wrong. He didn't even know why they were still arguing, the fight had been so small and was now pretty insignificant, but they were similar people, neither one liked to admit defeat, especially when they weren't wrong.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen received a few small gifts from her sorority sisters, gift giving wasn't something they usually participated in, given the amount of girls in the house, nearly every week there would be a birthday, it would be asking too much for everyone to give gifts for every birthday. Parties were more their style, it was collective and individual at the same time. There was a knock at the door of the sorority house and one of the girls signed for the delivery, a bouquet of yellow roses and a small gift-wrapped box. Sue Ellen was surprised when she saw the flowers, she hadn't expected JR to remember or acknowledge her birthday. There was no card with the flowers, but she knew they were from JR, yellow roses was their thing. She opened the box that was with the flowers, inside was a rose gold necklace in the shape of a flower, it was symbolic more than anything and it achieved its purpose. Sue Ellen smiled at the gesture; she'd have to call and thank him, she was beginning to soften toward him, no longer upset that he had tried to take control of her situation, he was only doing what he thought would be best.

Sue Ellen walked downstairs to use the telephone in the common room, "Good morning, Ewing Oil, how may I direct your call today?" Sue Ellen asked for JR Ewing but was informed that there was a problem at one of the oil fields and both Jock and JR Ewing were unavailable right now. Sue Ellen decided not to leave a message, she could always call back later; she would make the first move, she hated not speaking like they had been the past few weeks, she was ready to at least try to see things his way.

To be continued…


	50. Misconstrued Actions

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen woke up on Saturday morning with a pounding headache and weak stomach, signs that her group of friends had celebrated well into the night. She was thankful that her hangover was the only negative consequence she had to deal with this morning, she was alone in her bed and that was the best thing she could have hoped for, she and JR were in relationship limbo right now, but she didn't want anyone else, especially not in an intimate sense. Getting out of bed and ready for the day, she looked at the necklace JR had sent her, it was small and meaningful, not big and expensive; he was being reserved in his efforts, but she didn't mind. She was ready to swallow her pride and just admit that they had two different ways of handling things and his methods obviously worked for him, just as hers worked for her. She had a great need to save face and act graciously all the time, never making a problem out of something that she could just let slide. JR was not the same, he was more confrontational, his reputation preceded him, he operated both secretly and openly, people knew not to mess with him because his methods were unorthodox, they could never predict the exact way he would retaliate. She loved that he was so powerful, it was such an attractive quality, but when he tried to use that power to change something in her life, in a way that she didn't agree with, she realised that she didn't like when he held power over her. She was ready to concede though, she missed him and an apology was more than worth it, even if she didn't necessarily agree that she was wrong in this situation.

Sue Ellen ate breakfast with a few of her friends, some who had been with her the previous night and others who hadn't, "you and Billy would make a cute couple, he's obviously holding out hope that you and JR will call it quits". Sue Ellen blushed as Charlotte mentioned Billy, she was well aware that although he'd given up any pursuit of her when she'd met JR, his feelings for her hadn't gone away, if she and JR were broken up then he would be free to resume his romantic intent. She enjoyed his company as a friend, but as a date, she felt no chemistry between them, she had explained it to him before and they'd agreed to just be friends, but his feelings were obviously still there. "We're just friends, he's a nice man" she wasn't sure how much detail she really wanted to explain so left her comments vague, "mmhm, friends. Don't tell me you two don't have a history", Sue Ellen laughed, they definitely had a history, it just wasn't the exciting, romantic history that the other girls wanted to hear. "We do; we went on three dates and decided that we worked better as friends. He's very busy with his work, but occasionally we'll see each other, he was my escort in the Miss Texas pageant and my mother adores him, but we really are just friends. JR and I are still together and I don't plan on being single any time soon", she spoke with authority, but secretly she wasn't so confident about her relationship, she and JR still had to talk out their problems, that would either make or break them. The other girls looked at her sceptically, but said nothing. After breakfast, Sue Ellen drove to her mother's house and spent the day with her family, something Patricia liked to insist they do, despite their lack of common interests.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR ate breakfast with the family before driving into Dallas, there were a few things he had to do for Ewing Oil and he always focused better at the office. The problem at the Ewing Four field the previous day had delayed his paperwork and he really needed to complete it before Monday. On his drive into Dallas, he thought about Sue Ellen, he hoped that she liked the necklace and flowers he sent her and he was actually a little bit surprised that she hadn't called to thank him. He was ready for her apology and to get things back to the way they were before. A couple of hours later, the phone in his office rang, startling him, he hadn't expected anyone to call, especially not at the weekend. "Hello?" JR wasn't sure he should even bother answering, but he didn't like the idea of missing something important, "Mr Ewing, it's Jerry Macon, you asked me to call if there was any change in Miss Shepard's routine" JR sat up straight, this was either very good or very bad, he wasn't sure which. "Go on" he indicated that he was listening, "well last night, Miss Shepard and a few girls went out to dinner and then to a dance club where they didn't leave until closing, quite some time after midnight" JR wasn't too surprised, it was her birthday after all, "is that all?" JR questioned, it sounded like there was something the man wasn't telling him. "Well, no. You said to report any contact she had with other men, there was a man in the group, none of the other girls brought dates. Miss Shepard looked quite comfortable with this man. I was unable to identify him, but in my opinion, he did not look interested in being just friends with her" he finished speaking and JR sighed, it sounded like she'd moved on from their relationship. "How did they act together?" he wasn't sure he really wanted to know, but something inside him asked anyway. "Well, actually sir, I was unable to get into the club, you see, it's a place where college students and younger people go and the bouncer at the door didn't see why a man in his mid-forties would want to get in; I couldn't actually get past security. However, at the restaurant they went to for dinner, they seemed very friendly, sitting close together and occasionally touching each other, I can only imagine that it was the same in the club. At the end of the night, they exited the club, she was leaning on him for support, and they either hugged or kissed when they returned to her sorority house. I was quite far away as to not draw attention to myself, I'm sorry I can't give you a more detailed explanation" JR was hurt, something he would never admit to though; they hadn't even officially broken up and she was already dating other men. "That gives me a pretty good idea of what happened. Keep on it, I want to know who the man was and if you have to work overtime to find out then so be it", they ended their call and JR tried to get back to work, it was more difficult now that he his mind was working to formulate a plan. Sue Ellen had two things to apologise for now and JR would not be making any further effort to fix their relationship; she hadn't called to thank him for the necklace and now he was sure why, she had moved on, though she'd forgotten to inform him that they weren't together anymore. Exiting the Ewing building, JR walked to the nearest bar, if Sue Ellen could have another man, then he could certainly have another woman.

To be continued…


	51. Accidental Discovery

**Austin, Texas**

"Oh, well, could you please make sure to tell JR that I called… thank you. It was nice to speak to you too Miss Ellie…yes, goodbye" Sue Ellen hung up the telephone and sighed, JR wasn't at Southfork and he wasn't at the office, she was ready to talk and he wasn't anywhere to be found. Giving up, she decided that she would have to try again later or tomorrow.

It was Monday morning and Sue Ellen had received an invitation to attend a ribbon cutting ceremony for a new hotel in Dallas, it was a very last minute and she would have normally turned it down because of the timing, but today, she actually wouldn't mind a free trip to Dallas. She asked for her return flight to be scheduled later in the evening, her Miss Texas duties wouldn't take more than a few hours, giving her a good amount of time to go and see JR in person, she was sick of the stupid fight they were in. She attended her morning class and met the Miss Texas pageant representative before going to the airport and boarding a commercial flight, the downside of being a normal person, no private jet access.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR awoke on Monday morning, hungover, though he knew he had to get up and go to work, his father would not be pleased with his current state. He had spent Saturday night and most of Sunday in a hotel room with some girl whose name he couldn't recall; he hadn't been interested in her personal life and hadn't really asked any details, he'd just made sure she would do exactly as he wanted and he'd rewarded her handsomely for her services and for her silence. As the family ate breakfast, Miss Ellie studied her eldest son, he looked worn out, maybe his work was stressing him out, or maybe it had something to do with Sue Ellen's new 'busyness'; she wouldn't say anything though, he would just deny any abnormality anyway.

Sue Ellen posed for a few pictures and mingled with some of the other public figures at the reception party after the opening ceremony, she was enjoying herself but had the rest of the day's events hanging over her, she hoped that everything went well. Exiting the building and getting into a taxi, she was driven toward the Ewing Building, it was just after one in the afternoon and JR would be taking his lunch break at some point, he was never a very regular eater, sometimes just having lunch in his office because he was busy. As the taxi arrived at its destination, Sue Ellen walked through the main lobby and took an elevator up to the floor where JR's office was located; the receptionist was away from her desk, and the secretaries desks were empty, everyone was probably at lunch, "hello?" she called out but no one replied. Giving up, she took the elevator back down to the lobby.

"This was one of the best ideas I ever had", JR dressed quickly and Julie looked at him, perplexed by his words, knowing JR, he could be referring to any number of things. "I'll agree, because you're full of great ideas, but you're going to have to be a little more specific about the one you're referring to right now" Julie turned and JR zipped her skirt at the back. "The condo" he grinned, "the location is perfect for little getaways like this during lunch and we use it to accommodate out-of-town business associates, making it a nice little deductible on our taxes. Less tax paid equals more profit for Ewing Oil and more specifically, more money for JR Ewing," he explained and Julie laughed, JR was definitely right about that, he was self-serving in a lot of his motives, but somehow managed to make everyone a winner, well, those that he cared about anyway. Looking at his watch, JR realised their hour was almost over, "come on, we don't want daddy wondering where we disappeared to now do we?" he grinned and they left the condo.

Sue Ellen exited the elevator and walked over to a small couch in the lobby, she was unsure of her next move; JR would have to work this afternoon and she didn't want to bother him, but they did need to talk. Her flight wasn't scheduled until eight o'clock and she had the rest of the afternoon free, she may as well stay and try to do something before she had to leave again. Just as she sat down, she saw a couple coming toward the entrance, JR had his arm wrapped around the woman's waist, and she giggled as he whispered something in her ear. Sue Ellen was in shock, she and JR hadn't broken up and she felt betrayed that he would act so friendly and flirtatiously toward another woman. She watched them come closer and she tried to place the woman, she'd met her before but she wasn't sure where. Julie, that was her name, she was Jock's secretary, they'd met at the Ewing barbecue; Sue Ellen hadn't suspected a thing when they'd been introduced, she was suspicious now though. She didn't want to confront JR, that wasn't her style, quietly standing and walking toward the door, "excuse me Miss" the doorman called her back and handed her the small purse, she'd been so distracted by JR that she'd left her purse on the couch next to her. "Oh, thank you" she smiled at the man, though she was close to tears; she couldn't believe what a fool she'd been, obviously the real JR Ewing wasn't the sweet man that she knew, instead, he was the womanizer that everyone had warned her about. In her mind, she figured that if he was this way with Julie, then he was probably this way with a number of women.

"Sue Ellen?" JR asked aloud as he heard a meek voice politely thank someone, it was Sue Ellen's voice, but he wasn't sure what she was doing here, in the lobby of his office or even in Dallas. He couldn't see her, until he finally spotted her walking toward a waiting taxi. "Sue Ellen!" he called down the street toward her and she turned around, she looked like she would burst into tears at any moment. He couldn't understand her visual upset, but it finally hit him, Julie was standing next to him and just a moment earlier he'd whispered a suggestive remark in her ear, it was probably obvious from the way they were acting that they were more than just a secretary and a boss walking down the street together. He'd never intended her to see that, though a small part of him was pleased that she did and that she'd looked upset, because she now knew how he felt when he heard about her and her mystery birthday date. It was sick and twisted, but they were almost even now; he conveniently neglected to count the ongoing tryst he had with Julie, it didn't count in his mind because it was only allowing him something he wasn't getting from Sue Ellen. If she'd been more open and allowed him to take their relationship further, then maybe he wouldn't need other women in his life, in a sadistic way it was her own fault. Sue Ellen didn't stop as he called her name, she couldn't take another fight with JR, especially not while her heightened emotions were clouding her judgement, she opened the door of the taxi and got in, directing the driver to take her to the airport. She didn't care that she still had hours before her flight, right now she just wanted to get as far away from JR Ewing as she possibly could.

To be continued…


	52. Self-Reproach

**Dallas, Texas**

"Why didn't you tell me she'd left Austin? I thought you knew how to follow orders!" JR yelled at the man over the phone, if he'd known Sue Ellen was coming to see him he certainly wouldn't have flaunted his relationship with Julie in public. He'd been so eager for her to come and apologise and she had made that move, but his own stupidity had ruined everything. "I'm sorry sir, this wasn't something that was planned, her normal schedule is all college related on Mondays and the Miss Texas event she was at this morning isn't listed in the scheduled appearances list in the local newspaper, it must have been last minute. I can't tap her phone because it's a communal line and I never saw her physically meeting with anyone out of the ordinary today. I don't know how she managed to board a flight out of Austin without me knowing, I didn't even see her leave the college campus. I am sorry sir, everything just happened so quickly" the man apologised and JR sighed, he couldn't do anything about it now, but in the future he'd have to find a new private investigator. "Fine, now, do you have anything new that is of use to me?" he had to get something out of this phone call. "Oh yes sir, I found out who the man is that Miss Shepard spent her birthday with" JR perked up; at least he would have something to throw back at her when they inevitably did fight about this new situation, "well then tell me" he growled, the man was getting more incompetent by the minute. "His name is Billy Frampton, his family own Frampton Industries, a large conglomerate who deal in a number of different industries. He and Miss Shepard have known each other for…" JR's stomach dropped, Billy Frampton was no threat to him or their relationship, he and Sue Ellen were purely platonic, Sue Ellen didn't see Billy at all romantically and Billy had backed off his pursuit of Sue Ellen the moment she and JR met. JR knew all of this from his conversations with Sue Ellen as well as personally being present at the Miss Texas pageant, something magical had happened between the two of them at that pageant and he knew that they weren't the only two people who felt the electricity between them, it was obvious to anyone watching the scene unfold. He'd messed up this time and he knew it, it was all his fault; the events of the past few days were complete retaliation and revenge for her alleged cheating. He would never have gone to that bar and spent an entire day and night in a hotel with some tramp if she hadn't cheated on him first. Though he now knew that that wasn't what had happened at all and he was to blame for the mess they were in. Of course, she was to blame for the initial fight that had made them stop speaking to each other in the first place so he wasn't totally at fault. There were so many variables though, he couldn't guarantee that his afternoon with Julie wouldn't have happened and she wouldn't have seen them anyway, making the situation unfold in a similar way to how it had happened today. He was torn about who was to blame here, knowing he had a part in it, but so did she; he wasn't so sure she would see it that way though. The man stopped speaking as JR cut him off, "I know all about Billy Frampton, no need to go into all the details. Now, I need you to find out whether she's left Dallas yet or not, someone in your line of work shouldn't have too much trouble finding out that information". He ended the call with his orders and stood up, walking to the bar in his office and pouring himself a drink before searching his mind for excuses and justification of his actions, he'd find a way get her back and keep her on his side this time. He always found a way to do the impossible; it was one of his many talents.

"Another" she waved toward the bartender and he poured her vodka on the rocks, her fourth drink of the hour he noticed, though he didn't say anything, he saw people like this all the time in his line of work, somehow they thought a drink would make all of their problems disappear. It was only six in the evening and she still had another two hours before her flight, but she didn't care, all she wanted was to forget the events of the afternoon. She'd arrived at the airport hours before her flight, only realising then that she wasn't able to check in or go airside. Instead just wandering around the airport aimlessly and dazed, her mind piecing together small bits of information and coming to conclusions that were far worse than she would have imagined if she hadn't seen a hint of it with her own eyes. Even though she had barely seen anything incriminating, she had read their body language, she knew what had happened between them. Perhaps if she hadn't been so virtuous and insistent on remaining that way until marriage, then maybe he wouldn't have felt the need to have his secretary fulfil his desires. Did he realise her side of their relationship? She couldn't bring herself to go that far, it was so built into her that it would make her completely worthless if she did, she was deeply afraid of the consequences and of how it would make her look to other people. She managed to deal with the lack of complete intimacy though, why couldn't he? She knew deep down that this wasn't her own fault, but that didn't stop her from blaming herself and wondering what she could have done to prevent it from happening. What she didn't know was that no person could completely control JR Ewing, not his father, not his mother and definitely not his sweet, young girlfriend, naïve of the ways of the world.

**Austin, Texas**

"Sue Ellen? What exactly did JR do and why haven't you forgiven him already? He obviously cares; look at all of these lovely things", Patricia nagged her for an answer for what seemed like the millionth time, she hadn't explained the situation in any more detail than that they'd had a fight. It was partially true, even if there had been no words spoken between the two of them. JR had decided to take a long-distance approach to making an apology, sending her flowers, jewellery and other gifts to try to make himself look good. She wasn't interested though, she was hurt by his behaviour and an abundance of material items wasn't the kind of apology that would fix their problems. Patricia didn't see anything wrong with his approach though, convinced that some men were just that way, they were easily forgiven of their misdeeds as long as they made up for it in other ways. Sue Ellen knew better than to start a full argument with her mother, but she wasn't ready to talk to JR yet.

"Southfork Ranch" Patricia heard the voice of a woman, it had to be Teresa, it didn't sound like Lucy or Miss Ellie, "hello, may I please speak to JR Ewing, Patricia Shepard is calling" she put on a sweet voice and waited for the maid to go and find JR. She was going to get JR Ewing back in her daughter's life whether Sue Ellen wanted to be with him or not.

To be continued…


	53. Confrontation

**Dallas, Texas**

"Thank you for coming, please enjoy the party" Marilee and her new husband Seth Stone greeted their guests at the wedding reception, JR was next in the receiving line, just ahead of his parents and Bobby was somewhere further down the line, "JR. Going stag today are we?" Marilee observed the unusual lack of companion. "Yes, my girlfriend is very busy, you know, being our state representative" he responded; state representative was probably a little bit strong, Miss Texas was hardly necessary for diplomatic relations, but he wouldn't let Marilee best him. "Really? Well, I heard that your little beauty queen is awfully busy a lot of the time now, there's even been some speculation that maybe you two weren't together anymore" she pushed him for answers, though she didn't much care whether he and Sue Ellen were together or not. "I don't know where you got that information, but it's incorrect. You may want to check your sources again before coming to a conclusion like that in the future" he tried to make light of their current situation, though Marilee wasn't entirely incorrect, he and Sue Ellen weren't really together at the moment, she hadn't responded to any of his apology gifts. He'd spoken to her mother, but didn't think that Sue Ellen would appreciate him teaming up with Patricia against her, he knew how she felt about her mother's interference. "Hm, well you may want to inform Miss Ellie of those details, because she seems to think that you two aren't an item anymore. Those DOA meetings can be quite interesting at times" she grinned at him, she enjoyed beating JR at his own game, "now, if you'll excuse us, we have more guests to greet" she smiled sweetly and JR shook Seth Stone's hand before walking toward the bar. Although he didn't appreciate his own mother spreading the details of his personal life, he knew that she hadn't done it with malicious intent, Marilee probably twisted and manipulated the situation for her own benefit rather than Miss Ellie starting rumours by herself. They weren't completely untrue though, he had told his mother that Sue Ellen was busy and she had probably come to the natural conclusion, they weren't making time for each other because they weren't a couple right now.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen opened the door and tipped the deliveryman again, receiving gifts was expensive; she read the small card, another note asking her to please just speak to him. It had been over a week and she had gotten over the initial shock, there was no harm in just calling him and talking, though she wasn't sure that she could still be with him, no matter how much she loved him, she felt betrayed by his actions and she didn't fully trust him right now. She was on spring break now, though she'd skipped the normal parties and getaway trips, she hadn't felt very festive lately. Her presence in Austin gave her two weeks free from college work and now was the best time to talk out their problems. Slowly walking to the phone, she made sure that neither her mother or sister were close, she didn't need them interfering in her decision, she twirled the cord around her finger as she waited for someone to answer her call. "Southfork Ranch" she heard the female voice, it was Teresa, she was pleased that she didn't have to have an awkward conversation with a Ewing, "hello Teresa, may I please speak to JR, it's Sue Ellen". Teresa smiled to herself, she liked Miss Sue Ellen, and Mr JR had been awfully grumpy without her around, maybe they were finally going to fix their problems; just because she was the maid, didn't mean she didn't hear everything that went on in that house, she knew more about the Ewings collectively than they probably knew about each other.

"Hello darlin'" he put on his most charming voice, he wasn't sure that charm was going to help him but it was worth trying. As much as she hated her lack of self-control, she still enjoyed the effect his words had on her, it was magical, she got shivers when he spoke, especially now, she had not heard his voice in so long. She wanted to be strong and not give in too easily, but if he kept using that tone, she couldn't be sure that she would. "JR" it was short and simple and she tried to stay close to her original intent, "I wasn't ready to talk before, but I am now" she spoke and her voice was shaky, she had very mixed emotions. On one hand she was angry with him for what he'd done, but on the other, she was still very much in love with him and willing to accept anything if it would mean they could restore their relationship; she knew she shouldn't be too eager though, he had hurt her and she hadn't completely forgiven him. JR was surprised and pleased, she wasn't being irrational and she sounded emotionally affected by their conversation already, he shouldn't have too much of a hard time convincing her that he was sorry, it was true after all, he was sorry, both that she'd seen it and that he'd acted that way. Of course, he wouldn't let her know about all of his indiscretions, just the one that she was already aware of, Julie, he could probably even downplay that infidelity if he chose his words carefully enough, there was no reason to upset her further. "Are you sure you want to talk on the phone? I can be in Austin in an hour and we can talk in person if you'd like" he suggested in person because he knew he could have more control over the situation if he were physically present, he liked having the upper hand and a phone call wasn't his preferred method of conversation. "No, the phone is fine" the truth was she wasn't ready to see him in person, she was afraid, afraid that it would bring everything back into her mind and also afraid that she wouldn't be able to resist giving in to him; talking on the phone was safer. JR was disappointed, but agreed, "Sue Ellen, I don't know what to say. I am sorry, for everything, I'm sorry that it happened and I'm sorry that you witnessed it", he was surprised with himself; he wasn't usually this apologetic, to anyone. Sue Ellen's heart sank, his words were the confirmation that she hadn't wanted, everything she thought she saw was true, there was no maybe about it anymore. "Why?" she whispered and JR was confused, "why what?" he didn't quite know what she was asking. "Why did you do it? Why wasn't I enough?" tears were starting to form in her eyes, saying it aloud made everything real. JR didn't really have an answer, at least not one that would be acceptable or understandable. He loved her, but he loved his old life, the freedom and power of having any woman he wanted without any consequences, he wasn't used to the commitment or faithfulness that came with monogamy and he wasn't completely sure that he wanted to live that way. "It wasn't that you weren't enough, it was just that I'm not used to being told no. I respect you enough to abide by your wishes, but I don't have a lot of experience in stopping myself. It was temptation, pure and simple; I love you and want to be with you, Julie means nothing, she was just there in the wrong place at the wrong time" he tried his best to explain in a kind way, not admitting that he'd been unfaithful for a much longer period of time than she suspected. In some aspects he had lied but in others he told the truth, he was in love with her, but he had terrible self-control when it came to things like that. He had wants and needs far greater than she was allowing him to fulfil with her, he had been left with no other options, he just hoped that she understood. Sue Ellen listened to his words, he said that he loved her and she began to cry, cry for the love she felt toward him and cry at the hurt his betrayal had caused. "How long?" she was torturing herself by asking the question, but she needed to know; JR made a split-second decision "just a few times. Julie is complicated, we used to have a thing, but that was over long before you and I even met, it really was just bad timing this time" he lied, but she didn't have to know that he wasn't being honest. Sue Ellen sobbed, it had happened more than once and even though he hadn't blamed her, she blamed herself. "I'm sorry JR, I can't do this anymore" she was overly emotional, nothing good would come from this if they kept talking; finishing her sentence she hung up the phone and let her emotions out.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR sat on the edge of his bed, she'd hung up on him and he hated that he'd hurt her, there was nothing he could say to fix the pain he'd caused her. A part of him still partially blamed her for even starting a fight in the first place though, if she hadn't disagreed with how to handle the newspaper scandal, then they wouldn't have even been fighting. His empathetic human side told him that that argument was crazy and he had been cheating on her long before that, but his irrational mind still blamed her for being the catalyst to their big fight, she never would have known if they hadn't been fighting and she hadn't made a trip to Dallas to apologise. He sighed, he'd never really had to deal with anything like this before; Sue Ellen was his first properly committed relationship, not just a casual fling or open relationship, she expected a high level of faithfulness but didn't take into account his needs or expectations. Maybe he wasn't cut out for a serious relationship, maybe he should have just stuck to the way of life that he knew and enjoyed, at least in that life no one could get upset with him because there were no commitments and no expectations and everyone knew what to expect. He was torn, he had finally been thrown into a situation that he didn't know how to get out of, this was completely new to him, he'd never lacked power or control and he didn't like it one bit.

To be continued…


	54. The JR Ewing Effect

**Dallas, Texas**

JR was still unsure of where they stood; her last words had been _"I'm sorry JR, I can't do this anymore"_ and he was still uncertain about whether she'd meant she was ending their phone call or their whole relationship. He had tried to call her the next day but Kristin had informed him that Sue Ellen wasn't at home, he assumed that she was lying to cover for her sister, but if Sue Ellen was avoiding his calls then they definitely weren't in a good place. He decided that he would try again and if she really didn't want to talk to him, then he would give her space, for now at least. He had a plan long-term and it included Sue Ellen as his wife, he had no doubt that he'd get her back, he just didn't know exactly how he would do it, but he wasn't too worried, he was JR Ewing after all. "Shepard residence" he smiled as he heard the voice, Patricia was on his side at least, she wanted nothing more than for her daughter to marry a wealthy, powerful man and JR Ewing would be the perfect ticket to the high life. "Mrs Shepard, it's JR, I was wondering if Sue Ellen was available, I'd really like to speak to her" he hoped that Patricia would help him. Patricia smiled, JR Ewing was one persistent man, she liked that, Sue Ellen could do a whole lot worse than him, he obviously still wanted her daughter even after she'd made a big fuss about a little problem, something Patricia had failed to include in her lessons. She had never had much of a problem with men doing what they wanted, as long as their wives were still reaping the social and economic benefits of a marriage, it didn't matter too much about the emotional side. Sue Ellen was just overly sensitive, something she would have to make sure Kristin didn't learn, she wouldn't go through all of this drama twice.

"Sue Ellen?" Patricia lightly knocked on her daughter's bedroom door, trying a friendly approach to start the conversation, if she came off too hostile, Sue Ellen would definitely refuse to speak to JR. "Yes mama?" she opened the door and immediately sensed something was wrong, her mother had a strange look on her face, "you have a phone call. Now, come along, you don't want to keep them waiting too long" she made sure to not mention JR's name. "Hello?" she sweetly answered the phone and JR smiled, she wasn't hostile anymore, "darlin', how good it is to hear your voice again", Sue Ellen froze, she wasn't prepared for this conversation, she would definitely have a word with her mother afterwards. "JR…how are you?" she wasn't sure what to say, they'd ended their last call so awkwardly and emotionally and she still wasn't sure how she was feeling about everything. "I'm fine darlin', but I'd be better if you were here with me", Sue Ellen smiled, she almost felt the same way, but she had mixed feelings. She audibly sighed, giving him a sign that she'd begun to soften, "Sue Ellen, please, I really think that seeing each other in person would do us some good" he very much wanted her but he didn't want to force it. "I'm sorry JR, I just can't right now, I'm so confused"; she seemed to be confused a lot lately, her emotions making it hard to think straight; being alone was what was best for her right now, though no one else seemed to think so. "Whatever you want", his new approach was to carefully guide her into the decision, with a little JR Ewing manipulation, they would see each other soon enough.

**Fort Worth, Texas**

"Thank you Mr Ewing, we'll have everything set up just as you have instructed", JR shook the two men's hands and grinned as he left the room; his plan would give them the perfect opportunity to reconcile. "What do you think he's planning?" the event manager had never encountered such an idea before, "I don't know, but he's paying good money, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see; I'm not going to ruin a good think by asking unnecessary questions", his co-worker knew better than to pry into personal details. "I suppose you're right. Whoever she is must be mighty special though", the other man agreed and they went back to work.

**Austin, Texas**

"They want Miss Texas to present a golfing lifetime achievement award? Wouldn't a professional golfer be a better option?" she never knew why she was invited to some of the events that she attended; they seemed out of her personal circle and out of the pageant queen circle. "Sue Ellen, Miss Texas doesn't ask why, she just smiles and politely works the room; you've been in the role for almost a year and still question these things?" Mrs Crawford, one of the Miss Texas pageant organizers, quietly laughed at the questions, she often wondered these things herself, they did get quite a few strange appearance requests. "Just be thankful you're not being asked to feed the alligators at a new wildlife park, last year's queen had to do it three times", Sue Ellen's eyes grew, she immediately felt better about the golf award, there weren't going to be any wild animals present at that event.

**Fort Worth, Texas**

JR waited patiently in the large ballroom, he'd planned everything perfectly; they would be alone and free to talk, he was ready to get back to the way things used to be, he just needed an opportunity to make her see things his way. He hoped that she stayed because she wanted to, but if necessary, he would remind her that he was paying the appearance fee for her to be there and she was contractually obligated to stay for at least two hours.

Sue Ellen's pageant chaperone had received a call earlier in the afternoon, she now knew exactly what Sue Ellen was heading into, but she was sworn to secrecy. She didn't mind so much though, Sue Ellen hadn't been happy without JR in her life and if he was going to this much effort to win her back then he must be sorry for whatever it was that he did to hurt her. She could tell that Sue Ellen wasn't completely over JR either, she wanted him back, but she wanted him to apologise first. If tonight went to plan then both JR and Sue Ellen would be happy again.

Sue Ellen entered the elegantly decorated ballroom and stopped walking, she had been tricked; there was no awards dinner being held tonight. Instead, there was only one table set up, two place settings and one other guest, JR Ewing. She got shivers as he stood and walked over to her, "Miss Texas, you look stunning", he'd done it again, the JR Ewing charm offensive had begun and she was powerless to stop its effect, nor did she really want to.

To be continued…


	55. Starting Over?

**Fort Worth, Texas**

Sue Ellen timidly listened to JR speak, she was beginning to realise just how much she meant to him; any man that would go to this length to get her back was obviously sorry for his actions, if she didn't mean anything then he wouldn't have bothered to even try and win her back. She smiled as he complimented and charmed her with his words; he had an effect on her that no other man had ever come close to. In her conscious mind she'd forgiven him, he had said and done all the right things and forgiveness was the next logical move, getting back to the way they were before the fights was what they both wanted; but her subconscious reminded her that they still hadn't sorted out their deeper issues, the 'why' of the problem. Neither of them was willing to change the way that they lived their life; Sue Ellen had promised herself that she wouldn't do anything like that before marriage and JR still had expectations that he would eventually need to find a solution for, inevitably turning to other woman when Sue Ellen didn't fulfil his requests. Sue Ellen ignored her subconscious in favour of the uncomplicated fantasy JR was sweet-talking her into believing their relationship would be when they reconciled. The two ate dinner and talked comfortably, as if there were no problems between them; both ignoring the deeper issues. "Would you like to dance?" JR stood and held out his hand after they finished eating, Sue Ellen's stomach was full of butterflies, almost as if it were their first date again, "I'd love to".

After dancing for a long while, JR suggested going outside to look at the stars, he had no idea whether they would actually be able to see anything, but that wasn't the point, he wanted her close to him and the chilly night air was perfect for his plan. Sue Ellen smiled, the golf club was on the outskirts of Fort Worth, the stars would be shining brightly and not drowned out by city lights, she liked the romantic side of JR Ewing, she knew that was the point of his suggestion, he had no interest in astronomy in his day-to-day life. Standing together on the patio they looked toward the night sky, "you went to a lot of trouble for all of this" she quietly made an observational comment and JR just nodded and smiled, "there's nothing I wouldn't do for you" he quietly replied, becoming shy as he opened himself up to her. He took hold of her hand and guided her to a small garden bench where they sat close together and silently enjoyed the night scenery. Taking the opportunity JR began to speak, "Sue Ellen", she turned her attention toward him, "I miss you Sue Ellen, I wanted to be with you tonight, my life just hasn't been the same without you", her heart fluttered as she looked into his eyes, there wasn't a hint of deceit. He was being completely open and honest and he was vulnerable, this was a side of himself that he didn't show many people; JR read her expression, she felt exactly as he did. Sue Ellen subconsciously shifted, moving even closer to him and tilting her head, JR took her behaviour as a sign, leaning forward and lightly kissing her before pulling away, awaiting her approval to continue, he was really trying to respect her wishes. Sue Ellen melted as he kissed her and her heart ached when he pulled away, though she was pleased that he was waiting for her ok before making any further moves. She moved her hand toward his cheek and he kissed her again, this time a little deeper, she cupped his cheek and he ran a hand through her hair; the evening had turned out better than either of them had expected.

**Austin, Texas**

"You look happy. I don't suppose it has anything to do with your late night does it?" Paula grinned as Sue Ellen got herself ready, her friend was definitely pleased about something, she hadn't been this happy in weeks. "I am, and yes it is because of last night" Sue Ellen looked over toward her friend and smiled, she was pleased that it was visible how happy she was, her reconciliation with JR was still fresh in her mind. "Well? Are you going to tell me now or am I going to have to ask you over and over until you finally answer just to get me off your back?", Sue Ellen laughed, she knew that Paula wasn't exaggerating, she really would badger her until she got an answer.

"So how exactly is this time different to the last time you were a couple? You didn't really solve any of your issues. You aren't going to give him what he wants, but how is he going to deal with it differently to the way he handled it before? Because you can't keep going through this over and over, it will ruin you" Paula voiced her concerns and Sue Ellen's happiness started to dissipate, faced with the harsh reality of their relationship problems once again. "Well, we didn't really talk about that; he apologised and said that he wouldn't do it again and I believe him. You weren't there, his eyes were not lying, he was being honest, he didn't want to mess up, it just happened. Besides, look at how much trouble he went to just to get me to listen to his apology, I can't imagine he would want to do that on a regular basis" she tried to reason but deep down she knew that they needed to have a proper discussion before getting back together again. Paula sighed, Sue Ellen was naïve and easily convinced, she really did believe that because JR said he wouldn't do it again he meant it and he would be faithful to her. Paula knew that that wasn't always the case, especially with men like JR Ewing; he could have completely honest and good intentions but after a while he would be frustrated and bored with Sue Ellen's stance and seek affection elsewhere, it was inevitable; they were just on two very different levels, playing by different rules.

To be continued…


	56. Contented

**Austin, Texas**

"Can you believe it? We only have a week left and then we're all graduating. I'm going to miss all of you so much; what am I going to do without all of the weeknight parties and our after cheer practice dinners? From what my mama tells me, married life is much different to our lives here; of course, I love Andrew, but lawyers are so stuffy when they're no longer law students and are actually working; he's always so consumed with business. I highly doubt that he'll want to celebrate spirit week or have midnight ice-cream sundaes, he doesn't even care about football, he grew up in Canada. I'm definitely going to miss the fun that I have with you girls", Sandra, the head cheerleader expressed her thoughts and the other girls on the team nodded in agreement. "David is exactly the same way; you know he took me to his parents' house to visit and then insisted that I spend the whole weekend learning how to cook his favourite meals. I'm more of a simple cook, but the recipes his mama makes are the kind of things that take hours; I don't know how I'm going to cope with being his wife, he can't stand when anything doesn't happen right on schedule. I can just imagine that married life won't be as blissful as we were led to believe; I'm sure I'll be missing all of you girls soon enough, wondering why I let myself fall in love", Marie, another cheerleader, giggled as she spoke. A few other girls agreed and shared their own stories; they'd all been groomed to be perfect wives, but were finally realising the reality of marriage, it wasn't as easy as their own mothers had made it look.

Sue Ellen listened to the girls stories, her own was quite different; Patricia had set the expectations high and as a result, Sue Ellen would never have to work after marriage, in a paid job or domestically. Her mother had taught her all of the things that a good wife should be able to do, but the expectation was to never have to actually use many of those skills. The Ewings had housekeepers and cooks and JR was a very wealthy man, she'd never have to wait for him to get a promotion or big account before she could buy something extravagant and special, those things would be available to her anytime she wanted, that was the life that she deserved, or so Patricia told her. She wasn't even sure that it would ever actually happen though; she and JR were barely back together. Almost a month had passed and they were still cautiously dating, at her request. Her conversation with Paula had sparked her insecurities and she had decided that taking it slow was what was best for them; she just wasn't ready for anything more serious yet. JR hadn't been pleased about starting over from the beginning, as if they'd never dated before, but he'd agreed. He had even made the extra effort, taking her words to heart and acting like a complete gentleman on their 'first' date, even refraining from kissing her until she told him that a little kiss wouldn't hurt, they weren't actually strangers after all. "What about you Sue Ellen? You're the lucky one, JR is rich, being his wife will be all the fun parts of marriage with none of the hard things. Why is he taking so long to propose? I'd think he couldn't wait to make Miss Texas the new Mrs Ewing", Nancy asked her and the other girls nodded; JR and Sue Ellen's relationship was always fascinating, they were never predictable and never seemed to do what was expected. "Well, JR and I are just taking things slow at the moment, when the time is right, he'll ask me" she repeated the same standard answer that she'd been giving for months, not elaborating on exactly why they weren't moving faster. "Slow? You two have been together for almost a year and have more chemistry than I've seen between most couples. Plus, he's romantic and very rich, if it were me I'd be dropping hints like crazy. There must be something you're not telling us, because any sane couple would be on their way up the aisle by now", the girls didn't understand Sue Ellen and JR's relationship, but never stopped speculating. Sue Ellen couldn't think of anything to say and brushed it off with a smile and a polite comment, posing a question to another one of the girls and diverting the attention away from her.

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR. I'm going home now, unless you need anything more" Julie added a slightly suggestive comment to the end of her sentence. She missed having JR in her personal life; he'd turned her down multiple times in the past few weeks, choosing to respect his commitment to Sue Ellen, no matter how much he wanted to take Julie up on her offer. "No, no, nothing else. You go on and have a nice evening" he waved her off without looking up from his desk, he'd finally gotten Sue Ellen back in his life and he wasn't going to mess it up by losing control and doing something he'd later regret. His latest refusal of Julie's offer brought Sue Ellen to his mind, their relationship was wonderful since their reconciliation, but he wanted more. It took a lot of restraint on his part to not make any moves that would cause her discomfort, he knew that she wanted to move slowly and start over; he respected her decision, but it was very difficult for him. The phone rang and brought his thoughts back to the present, "Ewing Oil" he was snappy in his response, he hadn't expected anyone to call after business hours. "JR, it's almost six thirty, you said you were coming home for dinner, your mama was worried" Jock gruffly spoke and JR realised that time had escaped him, he had been sitting in his office for well over an hour. "I'm sorry daddy, I got so caught up in these East Texas documents that I lost track of time. We definitely ought to move on the ones the geologist marked in yellow, and I've got a few ideas about a few of the others too", Jock nodded as his son spoke, almost forgetting the reason he had called and getting ready to respond just as Miss Ellie entered the room, walking toward him. "I agree, but we'll have to discuss it in person. Now, you know we eat at seven and your mama is expecting you", JR realised that his father was right, "I'll leave now"; he packed up the papers and left the building. On the drive back to Southfork he reflected; his father was pleased with him at work and he had Sue Ellen back, even Patricia was being friendly, his life was good right now and he intended for it to only get better.

To be continued…


	57. The Keys to a New Life

**Austin, Texas**

"Sue Ellen darlin', are you ok?" JR wondered what was going on inside her mind; she wasn't completely paying attention to their conversation, she was barely even paying attention to the food on her plate. Sue Ellen was brought back to the present as JR called her name, "uh yes, sorry, I'm fine. Now, what was it that you were saying? Oh yes, you bought all of that farmland and accidentally discovered oil. That was very lucky" she tried to cover that she hadn't really been listening but JR knew by her retelling of his story that she was distracted. "Well, there was nothing lucky or accidental about it, but we'll finish talking about that another time. What is on your mind now? You are obviously distracted, now share your problem with me and I'll fix it, I'm JR Ewing, I can fix anything" he grinned and she laughed, only he would think so highly of his own abilities, though he wasn't totally wrong, he did wield a lot of power and could manipulate and scheme is way out of any problem. "You're going to think it's silly" she didn't want to bother him with her problems that were inconsequential compared to what he faced in his own life, Patricia had taught her to never assume that her problems were any match for the stresses a man faced, so she buried her feelings and stayed quiet. "Sue Ellen" he was getting annoyed, if she was going to tell him that she had a problem but not share it then she may as well have not even said anything, "if it's that small then I can definitely fix it". She smiled at his words, there was one thing that he could do that would fix everything, but she was almost positive that she wouldn't be hearing those words any time soon. "Well, it's just all hitting me now. In the past, the end of the school year was a happy occasion; it meant summer with my friends and no school. But now it's a scary thought rather than a happy one, I'm graduating in two days and then I have the Miss America pageant soon and my modelling contract with the magazine taking up the next few months, but come September and school starts again for everyone, I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. What if I don't win Miss America? I won't be Miss Texas anymore and no one will care about me, I doubt the magazine will want to renew my contract when there's a new Miss Texas; I'll be stuck as a catalog model forever. The career span of a model is only a few years, then I will be too old and too irrelevant, they won't want me" she looked as if she would start crying at the thought of being told she was old and irrelevant and JR smiled, it endeared her to him, he wouldn't let any of that happen to her. "Darlin' stop worrying; you could never be irrelevant, especially being married to me. I will give you the life that you deserve and everyone will know your name, I promise, you have nothing to worry about and anyone who says otherwise can speak to me", he reached across the table and held her hand as he spoke. She nodded and smiled as he mentioned marrying her again, though at the moment she wasn't ready to marry anyone, she still had a lot of personal insecurities to overcome before she was able to be a good wife.

Leaving the restaurant, JR directed the driver to an address that Sue Ellen didn't recognize, "JR? Why are we here?" she asked as they entered the foyer of an apartment building, "well, you sounded so down at dinner I thought I should do something to help cheer you up. I was going to wait until Friday when you graduate, but there's nothing wrong with an early gift" he gave her a mischievous look and she didn't quite know what to expect, but she was excited at the prospect of a gift. "Now, you just wait here while I go and speak to the manager", he pointed to a small guest couch and she did as he said. JR spoke to the manager and explained that they were two days early, but everything should be ready and he just needed an extra key. "Come on darlin', let's go cheer you up" he held out his hand and they entered the elevator; Sue Ellen still wasn't completely sure what he was planning, but she had a few ideas, all of them good. "JR?" she asked as they stood in the hallway on the fourteenth floor before he unlocked and opened one of the doors, holding it open and allowing her to enter the room. "Oh my" she gasped as she looked around the spacious apartment, it was newly decorated, a mix of modern and traditional décor, very much like what she would have chosen herself. "Do you like it?" he watched her reaction and knew that she did, but he always liked verbal compliments, "oh yes, it's lovely. It's not really your taste though" she joked, knowing deep down that he'd bought it for her, but not wanting to assume anything before he confirmed her thoughts. "Very observant. Is it your taste though? You will be the one that has to live here, so if you don't like anything then tell me now and I'll call the decorator right away" he closed the front door and moved closer to her, "no, it's perfect. I love it and I love you", she turned as she noticed him walking toward her, "thank you JR", she leaned up and kissed him.

"JR?" she stood in the kitchen making coffee as JR watched. He was enjoying her domestic side and even though she was only making something basic right now he knew that she was a skilled homemaker; Patricia had made sure her daughters learnt skills that appealed to men, Sue Ellen was good at many things, but never too good as to outshine a man in his efforts. He really had Patricia to thank for making pushing Sue Ellen to learn such a repertoire of skills, she would be the perfect wife for him and he intended to make her a Ewing someday, though not as soon as their families would like, he still wasn't completely ready to settle down and become a one-woman man. "Mmhm?" he heard her say his name but was focused on her moving around the kitchen, it was amazing how graceful and sensual she made basic actions; maybe he'd buy her an apron to really authenticate the look. "JR, I love the idea of living here; but I think you forgot to factor in one thing when you bought it" she looked at him with a worried expression on her face. JR thought about it and then replied, "and what is that?" he questioned her, he couldn't think of any downsides to her new living arrangement. "My mother. She is going to hate the idea of me, a single young lady, living all alone in an apartment downtown. This is not a women's residence and that is probably the only kind of apartment that she'd approve of me living in before marriage. She doesn't even really like the idea of me living alone at all; she has much less control of what I do when she's not there to monitor my actions. Did I ever tell you about my senior year of high school? I applied to six colleges and got into four, two of them with almost completely paid scholarships. Neither of those colleges were UT though and neither of them were located in Austin; one was in Houston and the other was in San Antonio, both less than three hours' drive from Austin, but she wasn't happy with that and therefore they weren't options anymore. She didn't want me to leave Austin for college because she wanted to keep an eye on me and make sure I didn't get into any trouble. My mama couldn't afford to send me to UT Austin by herself, so instead made sure that I got more modelling jobs and won more pageants. Then, she had the nerve to try and claim that I shouldn't live on campus because we already lived in Austin; the dorms aren't even co-ed and she didn't want me living there. It took me over a month including three campus visits and two meetings with the resident advisor before I was finally able to talk her into letting me live in the dorms freshman year and then the sorority house for the rest of college. She still doesn't think it was necessary for me to live on campus. Now that I'm graduating, she'll be right back in that place again, constantly questioning what I can do here that I can't do at home, making me feel like a criminal because I don't want to live with her forever. Now do you see the problem?" she really was concerned, she was finally getting along with her mother and this would probably break the peace. "Darlin' I have half of the issue sorted already. I own four floors in this building, this floor, the one below and the two above. I have specified that only women be allowed to rent the apartments on the fourteenth, fifteenth and sixteenth floors, the thirteenth is for men. Technically, you're not supposed to be allowed to restrict tenancy like that, but I gave the manager a speech about women's liberation and how they would really be helping the cause by making a number of high-end apartments like these available just for women. Of course, he took a little more convincing, but he agreed in the end and that's the important part. You didn't really think I'd let you live alone on a floor full of men did you? I agree with your mother, some men just can't be trusted", he grinned as he spoke, he was afraid of her meeting someone with the same mindset as himself but he'd tried to mitigate the circumstances and make sure she got the best out of the situation. She listened and sighed with relief at his forward thinking, "and the other half? How am I going to convince my mama that I should live here instead of move back home?" she was still apprehensive about his plan, "look at the location. You are central to all of your commitments; the modelling agency office is only a five-minute walk from here, the 'Her Style' magazine offices are a five-minute drive and the Miss Texas office is a ten-minute drive. Your mama's house is in the suburbs, it makes sense to live here. Alternatively, you could tell her that I bought you an apartment in Dallas, and that you are moving there with me. Then she'll say no and we'll compromise, you'll stay in Austin and then this place won't seem so bad in comparison, at least she can still drop by at a moment's notice". She giggled at his cunning plan that involved an exaggerated level of deception that only JR would think was a good option, "I think we'll just stick with the location, I can't deal with my mother getting upset with me for an imaginary decision".

She poured their coffee and brought his over to him. "Your coffee Mr Ewing" she smiled and he looked her up and down before sipping his coffee, "excellent, thank you Miss Shepard. How about we go and drink this in the living room?" She followed him out of the kitchen and they sat on the couch, spending the rest of the evening talking and kissing, starting slow just as she had wanted, but moving into much more passionate kisses as their feelings for each other surfaced. JR had decided to make the most of what he could get from Sue Ellen for now, and kissing her like this but not going any further reminded him of being a schoolboy again. Sure, some girls would sleep with him, but he wouldn't be successful every time and making out while slowly working toward his goal was the next best thing in that situation. There were always easy women that would willingly sleep with him, needing no encouragement, but he liked a challenge and he'd started working on a foolproof technique the first time he'd been rejected; it had taken him a little while but he finally perfected it. Alcohol could speed up any situation, but even sober it wasn't impossible. A small show of romance followed by little kissing, then a little touching and some encouraging words and he was eventually able to get almost any girl to give in to what he wanted; any girl until he met Sue Ellen, she was the first girl to turn him down in over a decade. He had a level of respect for Sue Ellen that he never had with women; for now it was something he just had to live with, something he couldn't change and that was ok.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thank you for all the reviews so far, I love hearing all of your thoughts and suggestions.**


	58. Graduation

**Austin, Texas**

"I am going to miss you so much. I promise, I will come and visit you when I'm in Dallas" Sue Ellen hugged her roommate and best friend, "so am I. I cannot believe four years went by so quickly. Did you ever imagine the first day that we met that we'd become best friends?" Paula spoke and Sue Ellen was reminded of all of their good times together, she really was going to miss her, Richardson wasn't that far away, but it wasn't that near either, they wouldn't be as close as they were before. "No, but I am so glad that we did", the two girls hugged and Patricia approached them, "come along Sue Ellen, I think JR is tired of waiting around for you here", her words moved the feelings of boredom onto JR, but Sue Ellen knew that they were her mother's feelings, not JR's. "Roger is probably a bit tired too. I will see you later Sue Ellen", they hugged again and said their goodbyes before Sue Ellen followed Patricia to where JR and Kristin were waiting. "Congratulations darlin', these are for you" JR handed her a very large bouquet of flowers and two jewellery boxes. "Sapphires, how lovely. Thank you JR" she kissed him before her mother cleared her throat and asked to see the items. She showed her the necklace, earrings and bracelet and Patricia was rapt, JR certainly knew how to make an impression, he was definitely not a poor man. "Very nice. An engagement ring would have been nicer though" she complimented and then criticized his gift and Sue Ellen just sighed, nothing was ever enough for her mother.

The four ate dinner at a five star restaurant and Patricia was once again pleased with the willingness of JR Ewing to spend money on her daughter; he would make an excellent husband, wealthy and powerful. "This is your final gift darlin'" JR presented her with the key to her new apartment as they sat in the living room of her mother's home; they'd agreed to keep it a surprise until graduation day and then hopefully it would just flow with the rest of the gifts and her mother wouldn't mind too much. Patricia looked at the small box, inside was a silver key, "a key?" she questioned, not giving Sue Ellen time to respond in her own voice. "Yes, I have bought Sue Ellen a brand new condo. She deserves something big for this accomplishment don't you agree?" JR tried to make it seem as if it really were just a nice gift and Patricia shouldn't have a problem with it. "Oh how nice of you. Thank you JR" Sue Ellen quickly jumped in to the conversation, it would be easier if the two of them made it into a positive and didn't give her mother time to think of the negative side. "Well yes, but I don't think it's a good idea. No, you should live here with your family, not alone. Kristin has been looking forward to you moving back home. Isn't that right Kristin?" she pushed her youngest daughter into agreeing with her, though Kristin couldn't care less whether Sue Ellen came back home or not, she'd been living alone with their mother for four years, she was used to it now. "Well the condo is close to the modelling agency and that magazine office; I just thought it would be convenient for when Sue Ellen has appointments there. Of course she can still spend time here though" JR spoke and could see Patricia's mind working, trying to think of excuses why she shouldn't move somewhere on her own. "Sue Ellen has a car; I think she can get to her appointments fine. A young lady should not live alone, especially not in a building with men; anything could happen. Thank you for the kind offer JR, but I really think Sue Ellen should live here" she wasn't interested in relinquishing control of her daughter, especially if JR Ewing was involved and it didn't include marriage, who knew what they'd get up to alone in an apartment together. "Mrs Shepard, may I please speak to you alone?" JR changed his method; there was one thing he knew would convince her mother.

"Sue Ellen, you will stay at the apartment when you have early appointments and meetings, but you will still spend a good amount of family time here. Just like when you were in college" Patricia and JR re-entered the room after having come to an agreement and Sue Ellen was amazed, "yes mama, of course", she agreed, though she wasn't sure that her mother's idea was reasonable. "There are also rules around this new arrangement; the same rules that I have in this house and that the housemother at your sorority house had. I expect you to follow these rules or else I will know and you will be punished. Do you understand?" she may have been convinced by JR's generous gestures, but she still held her position, she didn't like the idea of her daughter living alone and would hold onto as much power as she could. "Yes mama" Sue Ellen nodded and agreed, she had gotten what she wanted and that was all that really mattered. "If you don't mind Mrs Shepard, I'd like to bring Sue Ellen to see her new condo" JR didn't let on that they'd already been there, "yes, that would be nice. Now Sue Ellen, remember the rules", she sternly reminded her daughter that she was still in control.

"So, how did you convince her?" Sue Ellen poured JR a drink, she hadn't seen the fully stocked bar the last time, but they were making the most of it now. "Well let's just say, your sister will be getting a world class education and your mama will finally get to have that relaxing vacation she's been wanting", JR sipped his drink and Sue Ellen giggled, "bribery". JR laughed, "I prefer the word incentive. This way, everyone wins" he pulled her into his lap and kissed her.

**Dallas, Texas**

"Sue Ellen, how nice to see you again" Bobby greeted her as she and JR arrived at Southfork, "you too Bobby" she smiled widely. She liked Bobby and he liked her, he was like the brother she never had, always happy to do things with her that JR didn't want to, especially riding horses, JR's least favourite activity. "Congratulations on your graduation, I heard that my brother went a little overboard on the gifts" he laughed as she nodded, "yes, well don't tell him that it was too much, I happen to like receiving gifts" she giggled and JR returned to her side. "Should my ears be burning?" he knew that his brother and girlfriend were friendly and often wondered exactly what they had in common, "well yes, but it was only good things being said" she kissed him and he took her hand, leading them away from Bobby, he wanted her all to himself today.

To be continued…


	59. Hesitation

**Austin, Texas**

"Will Mr Ewing be escorting you or do you have someone else in mind?" Sue Ellen listened to the pageant representatives as they discussed the upcoming Miss America pageant. "Oh, I'm sorry, I really hadn't thought about it. I haven't actually asked JR, but I'm sure he'll be happy to escort me" she scolded herself for being so unprepared; it was unlike her to miss something that big. "That's fine; we just need to know by next week, it has to be printed in the program books and they need to know final details by the fourteenth. I think that's all for now", they ended the meeting and Sue Ellen left the building, stopping at the grocery store before driving back to her apartment.

Exiting the elevator, she heard the sound of her telephone ringing and quickly hurried down the hallway to unlock her front door before she missed the call; not many people had her number, so it was probably someone calling for a reason. "Hello?" she answered breathlessly, "Sue Ellen Shepard! What are you doing?" her mother listened to her daughter's heavy breathing and imagined the worst, "nothing mama, I just got home and ran to the phone" she truthfully explained but knew from her mother's tone of voice that she'd already decided what she was doing. "Mmhm" Patricia doubted it, but moved on, "look, I called to see whether you were free for dinner. You promised that you would spend most of your time here but we've hardly seen you this past week. Kristin misses you dearly and the neighbours have been asking about you. I don't like telling people that you've moved to your own place, a lot of people are very judgemental". Sue Ellen tried not to scoff at her mother's words; Kristin missed her? She doubted it. Her sister had been living without her for four years and they weren't ever very close, she couldn't imagine that she missed her too much. Then her mother had the nerve to say that other people were judgemental. Her mother was probably the most hypercritical person she'd ever met. "Mama, I know what I agreed to, but I am a busy person. Just because it's summer, doesn't mean my commitments have stopped. This week I've had three photoshoots and this morning I had a meeting with the Miss Texas people and did a little bit of grocery shopping afterwards. Two innocent and completely necessary tasks. However, to answer your question, yes I am free for dinner. What time would you like me to come over?" she wasn't too pleased about spending her evening with her mother when she was in a mood like this, but decided that she probably should make an effort, it was the polite thing to do. "Well, now would be lovely. You're not doing anything important are you?" she wanted to see how her daughter would react; she had a suspicion that her 'running to the phone' story wasn't entirely truthful. "No mama, I'm not busy now. I'll be there in half an hour" they said their goodbyes and Sue Ellen put her groceries away just as the phone began to ring again.

"Hello?" she was slightly annoyed now; it was probably her mother calling to check up on her again; "whoa, are you ok? Is this a bad time?" Sue Ellen's mood softened as she heard Paula's voice, "oh, I'm sorry Paula, I thought you were my mother calling again" she apologised for her short temper. Paula laughed, "no need to explain any further", she knew exactly how Patricia could aggravate a person. "I am sorry; I shouldn't answer the telephone so rudely. How are you?" Sue Ellen was interested to hear about Paula's life, it was completely different to her own now. "Actually, that's why I called, I have some news. Roger got a new job, it is a great opportunity for us, he'll be earning twice as much and the company benefits are above and beyond what you would expect. Its perfect timing with the baby coming soon" she finished speaking and Sue Ellen sensed a slight hint of hesitation in her voice, "that's wonderful Paula, I'm so happy for you, but why do I get the feeling that there's something you're not telling me?" she wasn't sure what the downside of this whole thing was, it didn't sound bad. "Well, the job is in New Orleans" Paula explained and Sue Ellen realised what she was saying, they would see each other even less than they did now; Sue Ellen only ever saw her when she was in Dallas for the weekend visiting Southfork, it was going to be much harder when she was in a completely different state. "Paula, I am happy for you and I promise, this won't affect our friendship negatively, we already talk on the phone a lot anyway" she really was happy for her friend; a situation that could have turned out so terribly for her had actually blossomed into a great opportunity. Paula was happily married, financially stable and about to start a family; Sue Ellen would have been jealous if she didn't see the wonderful life that JR would provide her with. The two talked a little longer and then said their goodbyes.

"You're late. I don't know what you were doing, but I don't like it. Do we need to have another talk about the rules you live by when you're at that apartment?" Patricia scolded her daughter, she was fairly certain that Sue Ellen had been doing something less than innocent this afternoon, she had answered the phone flustered and then taken much longer than half an hour to arrive at her home. "I'm sorry mama, Paula called and we got talking, I didn't realise the time" she told the truth but knew that her mother didn't believe her, she was always looking for reasons that Sue Ellen couldn't be trusted to live alone. Patricia hated not knowing where her daughter was or who she was with; at least when Sue Ellen was in college there were rules about males in the house and curfews. With Sue Ellen living alone, she could do whatever she wanted and Patricia would never know; the loss of power and control bothered her immensely.

Three days later, Sue Ellen stood in the dressing room at The Store and listened to her mother nit-pick her appearance. "The blue one makes you look much bigger than you are and the red one is too revealing, but the silver one is lovely, you will wear this one", she had been criticising small details all day and Sue Ellen was tired, she decided to just smile and agree, it was much easier than arguing. "Now, I assume that a man as wealthy as JR Ewing owns a tuxedo, you make sure that he has it dry-cleaned and ready for the pageant", Sue Ellen was reminded again that she hadn't actually asked JR to escort her. She didn't know why but she was afraid that he'd say no; it was crazy, but she had a fear of being rejected, the way Clint had protested being her escort in the previous pageant had affected her more than she realised. JR had nothing against beauty pageants, they had met at one after all, but she was still nervous. "Yes mama he does, I'll make sure to remind him" she smiled and kept her concerns to herself; her mother's interference was the last thing she needed right now.

To be continued…


	60. Pre-pageant

**Dallas, Texas**

"Sue Ellen, Sue Ellen!" Lucy ran onto the Southfork patio followed by two of her friends, Muriel and Lisa, "will you autograph these pictures" Lucy excitedly handed her three pages torn from the newest issue of 'Her Style' magazine. "Well yes of course, but why do you want my autograph? I'm not famous" she was a little confused, Lucy knew her in real life; the usual autograph seekers were young girls and their mothers, and occasionally middle-aged men; the latter made her slightly uncomfortable but she signed pictures for them anyway because she didn't want to be rude. "But you are famous, you're Miss Texas. Some of the other girls at school don't believe me when I say that I know you; so now I am getting proof. When you become Miss America, then they'll be sorry" she finished speaking and Sue Ellen got an awful feeling; what would happen to her if she didn't win Miss America? Everyone seemed to expect that she would; but she knew that it didn't really work like that. "Oh, well in that case, of course I'll sign these pictures. But Lucy, there is a possibility that I may not be Miss America; it's a very big competition", Sue Ellen spoke and JR observed the scene; "of course you'll win, you're perfect. Remember, I was a judge in the last pageant. You had that contest won the minute you walked out onto that stage". Sue Ellen smiled; it wasn't often that JR so willingly expressed how he felt, "thank you JR, but I have to be realistic, there are forty nine states that aren't Texas and they all have their own version of me. The competition is so much harder this time around", she needed everyone to lower their expectations, she hated disappointing people, especially the ones she was close to. "I know you'll win; uncle JR will be there with you and he always gets what he wants" Lucy wasn't stupid, she knew how things worked for JR Ewing, he could make things happen that seemed impossible to other people. "She's right darlin', there are ways to guarantee a win" he spoke and she had no doubt that if she asked him to, he would, "no JR; that is dishonest and immoral and I will not wear a crown that I did not earn. I have to be the best and if the judges don't think that I am, then that's just how it is and I have to live with it", she was being completely honest, but she feared that he wouldn't listen now that she'd given him the idea. "I think that's very honourable" Muriel spoke and Sue Ellen was thankful that she had someone on her side, "thank you". The young girls ran back into the house and Sue Ellen returned to her previous conversation with JR.

"Mama, Daddy; Sue Ellen and I would like to finish our drinks outside if you don't mind", JR noticed that Sue Ellen had been distracted all afternoon, he hadn't said anything at first, but now he wanted to know what was bothering her. Miss Ellie smiled, "you go ahead JR", she liked Sue Ellen, she was good for JR; she hoped that things were getting serious between the two, because she'd love to start planning a wedding and decorating a nursery soon. Walking outside, Sue Ellen admired the ranch and JR agreed, though he really only wanted to ask one thing, "Sue Ellen, is everything ok with you?" She knew that it would be better to just explain her concerns to him, but she was still unsure about his reaction and how legitimate her problems even were, "I don't want to burden you with my issues", JR sighed, she closed herself off unnecessarily, probably something her mother had taught her to do, "it's not a burden; I'm asking". Sue Ellen took his interest as a sign, "I know we already talked about this earlier, but it got me thinking. What if I don't win Miss America? I don't want to disappoint everybody but so many people are convinced that I'll win; it's not that simple though. I know you offered to help, but I want to do it on my own. At the same time though, I'm so scared of trying and failing" she explained the problem but didn't voice her concerns about him escorting her. She was fairly certain now that he would do it when she asked, he had been nothing but supportive about the pageant and she realised that she was just being silly with that concern. "I know you don't want my help and I'll respect that, but know this, you're special for so many reasons that have nothing to do with your title and anyone who thinks less of you if you don't win isn't someone that deserves your respect. This is not something you should worry about. Besides, as Lucy said, with me as your escort you'll be sure to win, I always get what I want" he grinned and she laughed, realising that he was right, it wasn't her problem if other people thought badly of her because she didn't win the contest. "Actually, I'm glad you mentioned that, I've been meaning to ask you, but you beat me too it. Will you be my escort?" she shyly asked and internally berated herself for not asking sooner. "Darlin', if you think I'd let anyone else escort you, then you don't know JR Ewing very well", he grinned and kissed her and she was relieved, she already felt better from his words, but his kisses sealed the deal.

**Austin, Texas**

"Sue Ellen, look at what just arrived for you" Patricia brought a large bouquet of flowers into the kitchen and Sue Ellen was surprised, JR only ever sent her yellow roses so they weren't from him, but she didn't have any other admirers that she knew of. "Well, read us the card" Patricia prompted, though Kristin looked like she couldn't care less; the never-ending conversation about Sue Ellen was getting old. "_Dear Sue Ellen, I wish you all the best with the Miss America pageant; I know you will be excellent. –Billy_" she read the card aloud Patricia smiled, "that's very nice of him. Now, you make sure you call and thank Billy, it will serve you well to have Billy Frampton in your social circle, especially if JR doesn't commit soon". Sue Ellen sighed, that's all she was to her mother, a pawn in her game, her ticket to a better life, Sue Ellen's happiness had nothing to do with it. "Yes mama, of course", she was glad that she actually liked Billy; she could do a lot worse, especially with her mother's choice in men.

**Atlantic City, New Jersey**

Sue Ellen's eyes wandered around the hotel lobby as Kristin stood by Patricia's side and they checked into their hotel. JR had kindly booked and paid for two of the penthouse suites, one for Sue Ellen and her family, and the other for himself. Patricia was always happy to accept gifts like that and JR knew it; it was a lot easier to make small gestures and keep her happy than it was to deal with an angry woman. Looking toward the hotel gift shop, Sue Ellen casually scanned the items for sale, candy, flowers, a few tacky souvenir trinkets and some postcards. There was a small newsstand outside the gift shop, she began to look over the magazines, and then the newspapers before one headline in particular stuck out to her, 'No More Miss America'. She was surprised, though the Miss Texas organizers had warned her; she hadn't expected it to actually happen. There was a protest planned for the following day by a group of feminists who disagreed with the whole idea of beauty pageants; Sue Ellen wasn't close enough to read the press release in the newspaper, but she already knew the general ideas. "Sue Ellen" Kristin tapped her on the arm and she realised that they'd finished checking in and were ready to go upstairs to their room; she followed her mother toward the elevator and hoped that nothing would go wrong tomorrow.

"This is a strange city, not my taste, but the hotel is nice at least", Patricia was always complaining about something and Sue Ellen was used to it. "I like seeing the ocean, it's very relaxing" she responded, deciding to make polite conversation because it was easier than talking about the pageant again. "It wasn't the ocean I was talking about. I suppose it doesn't matter much though, we're not here to sightsee. When you win that crown, the location and objectors will be irrelevant", she was confident that Sue Ellen would win, she raised winners and she expected nothing less. Sue Ellen felt sick, "mama, I'm going to the roof, I need a little time by myself", she left the room and walked up the stairs, the pressure was too much, she had to get some fresh air.

To be continued…


	61. Miss America

**Author's Note: I know some of the dates and general events are a little messed up in comparison to the actual historical events. I looked at the real competition and realised that it wasn't just a generic thing that happened and I should probably include some element of realism. Please excuse the artistic license throughout the story; I did my best to make everything somewhat historically accurate.**

**Atlantic City, New Jersey**

Sue Ellen felt ill as she stood backstage at Boardwalk Hall, Atlantic City's convention centre and the home of the Miss America pageant; she was preparing for the biggest challenge of her life. "Have you been eating too much?" Patricia asked as she helped her daughter into the sparkly silver dress. "No mama, of course not" she'd been the same weight since high school and it knocked her self-esteem down a little more every time her mother picked at her appearance, she was never enough. "Mm, well this dress is a little tight. I told you that after you finished college and stopped cheerleading regularly, you'd have to be careful about keeping your figure, your best years are now and you're not getting any younger you know" she gave the same speech that she'd given a million times before and Sue Ellen tuned out. "Maybe after the pageant you should move back home. I'll make sure that you eat properly and you can go running with Kristin and help her practice her cheerleading; it's a win-win situation", Patricia may have believed that it would be the best scenario, but Sue Ellen wasn't so keen. The last thing she wanted to do was move back home; her mother would drive her crazy, she already did now and they didn't even live together. "We'll discuss it after the pageant mama" she sucked in and her dress zipped up, she was convinced that the seamstress had made a mistake in alterations, it had fit perfectly before and she was positive that she hadn't gained weight.

"Fifteen minutes ladies" a stagehand informed the contestants of their schedule and Sue Ellen's stomach dropped again, she felt sick at the idea of competing and losing and having everyone know that she'd failed. There was nervous and excited chatter amongst the other contestants and Sue Ellen was reminded of her competition; the other girls were gorgeous and perfectly poised, she had a big challenge ahead of her. JR arrived backstage and noticed how pale Sue Ellen looked, "are you alright darlin'?" she looked up and weakly smiled, she doubted her own abilities now more than ever. "I'm fine, just fine" she put on her best pageant smile, completely fake confidence, but outwardly, no one could tell. Patricia and Kristin left to go find their seats and JR took her hand as they lined up with the other girls and their escorts. The music began to play and they filed out on stage, Sue Ellen was more confident with JR at her side, but the sheer size of the venue was just another thing on her mind. There were over ten thousand people seated in the audience and this was not her territory; only a small handful of spectators were there to cheer for her, the rest couldn't wait for her to mess up and be eliminated. JR could feel her hand shaking as they walked onstage; he had no idea she got so nervous at these events, she had no reason to. She was everything a pageant queen should be and he'd already guaranteed her a place in the top sixteen, though he hadn't informed her of his interference. She had insisted that she had to do this on her own, and she would; but there was no harm in making sure that she was successful, all it took was a little Ewing magic.

The preliminary round consisted of the talent competition, eveningwear, swimwear and an onstage question. Sue Ellen sang wonderfully, but so did the other contestants; she looked elegant and graceful; but so did the other contestants. By the time the swimwear competition started, she was apprehensively confident and a little confused by her emotions, she knew that she was doing well, but her scores were being compared with forty-nine other girls who had all done excellently too. The swimwear competition had the captured all of the escort's attention from backstage, fifty beautiful girls in a skin-tight fabric, it was a man's dream; though they were gentlemen and they'd look, but never touch, not in public at least. JR admired the women as they walked onstage; Sue Ellen still had that wonderful sweet, shy, sexiness that had been so appealing to him at the Miss Texas contest. He admired the other contestants too, just because he was here for Sue Ellen, didn't mean he was blind to the other women in the room; no one came close to the whole package that Sue Ellen offered, but it was enjoyable to watch them put their best selves forward. The final category was the onstage question; Sue Ellen listened to the other girls answer and was quietly confident; her own chances of making the top sixteen were improving by the minute.

"…Miss Oklahoma, Miss Kansas and Miss Texas" the host announced the top sixteen finalists and Sue Ellen smiled as she stepped forward; she was getting closer to the crown and she wasn't so nervous anymore. The preliminary competition had gone well and she was now in with a real chance of becoming the next Miss America. It scared her a little bit that the pageant was televised and if she lost, people that she knew in real life would witness her failure; she pushed that thought out of her mind though and prepared herself for the rest of the pageant. JR watched as she regained her confidence; he had guaranteed that she would get at least this far, but he was fairly sure that his 'donation' had nothing to do with it, she really had gotten here on her own.

"…and the tenth finalist is, Miss Louisiana", Sue Ellen felt faint, as if she were going to collapse; her worst fear had come true, she hadn't made the finals and her downfall had been televised for everyone to see. She was shocked and felt humiliated; everyone in her life had told her that she was a shoo-in for the Miss America title, yet here she was, standing on stage in the back row, the row that only meant one thing, she'd lost. As the music played and the other eliminated contestants exited the stage, Sue Ellen took one last look toward the audience, a final farewell to her life as it had been; Miss Texas, known and loved by many, now just a memory. "Damn", JR was shocked, he'd been unable to guarantee her anything more than the top sixteen but was sure that she'd be good enough to win on her own. The final scoring system was ranked, not determined by percentages like the earlier competition and he had only been able to influence two judges on the panel; he was powerless after a certain point. He hadn't been worried about it; he was a judge in the Miss Texas contest and she'd outshone all of the other contestants, he was sure that these judges would see it the same way. He had obviously miscalculated something though and he was angry with himself now; this wasn't even about Sue Ellen anymore, it was about him, JR Ewing never lost, especially in business and this was just another form of business.

Patricia was sure that Sue Ellen would make the finals and it came as a complete shock when her name wasn't called as part of the top ten; Sue Ellen had obviously done something wrong, she should have been Miss America and now her chances were ruined. Her mind ran though the consequences of this loss; Sue Ellen's social status would drop and would heavily affect the rest of her life. The lack of a relevant and current pageant title would cause her appeal as a named model to drop and she'd probably not get her contract with 'Her Style' magazine renewed now, both would negatively affect her personal income. With all of the consequences, especially the lack of social relevance, the list of prospective husbands would become smaller and smaller as she aged; JR Ewing had to propose soon or else her daughter may just be destined for life as a spinster.

Sue Ellen held back tears as she exited the stage; she wouldn't let the other girls see her cry, she would hold her head high and when she was alone, then she'd reveal her inner emotions. "I don't know what they were thinking, but you should still be up there, you were fantastic" JR did his best to comfort her, but he was still angry that he hadn't been able to fix the competition himself; they could have avoided heartbreak if she'd won. Sue Ellen couldn't process too much right now, instead just collapsing into JR's arms and burying her head in his shoulder, not crying, but not saying anything either. Patricia made her way backstage, "what happened? Why are you not in the finals? What did you do wrong? You must have made a bad impression on one of the judges. Or maybe one of the other girls made too much of a good impression on the judges. I bet that's what it is; the competition is rigged, you were wrongly eliminated. It has to be that" she rambled on and on and JR wasn't sure whether he should say anything. "JR, if another girl could influence the judging panel like that, why didn't you? I thought you cared about Sue Ellen" she blamed him and now he was angry, "Mrs Shepard. I know for a fact that that judging panel is not being influenced by anyone on the outside" he didn't want to outright say it, in case someone was listening and especially not in front of Sue Ellen; she didn't need to know that he'd paid for her place in the top sixteen. Patricia noticed the tone of his voice and realised that he'd done exactly as she'd suggested another girl had done, she just didn't understand why her daughter had been eliminated now, surely a man as wealthy as JR Ewing could afford the cost of influencing a panel of beauty pageant judges. JR cut the volume of his voice to a quiet, almost whisper tone; "the final competition is determined by judges rank scores of the girls, not their percentages. You can't guarantee anything with that kind of system, especially with only a small amount of ins on the panel", Patricia knew that he was confirming his involvement; he'd done everything possible, but it wasn't quite good enough. Sue Ellen didn't hear a word of the conversation; glassy eyed and completely dazed, she remained in the position she'd taken as she walked offstage, in the comfort of JR's arms.

Sue Ellen had had to snap out of her disorientation, it was time for the crowning and all of the contestants were required onstage. The third and fourth runners up were announced and she politely clapped, though she wasn't completely paying attention. "No more Miss America!" there were shouts from the balcony seats and Sue Ellen spotted a small group of protestors being escorted out of the building by security. Sue Ellen had read one of the brochures distributed by the women's liberation group; she was surprised at how many of their ideas she agreed with, though she'd never voice her opinion. The things the group were against were the very things her mother had taught her to live by. She was a contestant in the pageant, but she often felt like a cow in a cattle auction herself. "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of Miss America 1968 is…" Sue Ellen's attention was turned back to the stage but she soon stopped listening, she didn't want to hear it; she didn't care anymore, it wasn't her night and it would never be her night again. As the audience clapped, so did the contestants; no matter how distraught each girl was about not winning, none of them showed that side; they all politely congratulated the new Miss America.

Sue Ellen turned on the shower in her hotel room and stepped inside the stall, the warm water ran down her body and the salty tears ran down her face. She was finally alone and allowed herself to express some of the negative emotions she was feeling. She needed to cry, her life was over, she would be a nobody once she passed on her Miss Texas crown next month, and all of the benefits that came with her title would soon disappear. She cried not only for the loss of the competition, but for all of the things she was losing as a consequence.

To be continued…


	62. Self-pity

**Austin, Texas**

"Sue Ellen?" Patricia lightly tapped on her daughter's bedroom door, "Sue Ellen. I made some iced tea and I thought you might like some", she waited for Sue Ellen to open the door but received no answer; she entered the room herself and looked at her eldest daughter. "Now dear, you'll dehydrate yourself if you don't stop. Come downstairs and sit with us, I'm sure you'll feel better after that". Sue Ellen sat up and looked at her mother, her eyes puffy and red from crying, the last thing she wanted to do right now was have a polite conversation and iced tea with her mother and sister; they were the least sympathetic people she'd ever met. "No thank you mama, I'm not thirsty" she lay back down and waited for her mother to take the hint and leave, "I don't think it's good for you to stay up here all alone; wallowing in self-pity is not going to help now. What's done is done, you need to move on and focus on what you do have while you still can. You're still Miss Texas and a popular model and soon you'll be Mrs JR Ewing; concentrate on what you have now and you'll flourish; but if you stay locked up like this and shut everyone out of your life, then you're on the path to being a nobody, self-destruction is not the answer. Now, please get out of bed, freshen up and I'll go setup on the patio" she left the room and Sue Ellen did as her mother said. She still didn't feel like facing the world, but she would at least appease her mother and have tea. She splashed water on her face and brushed her hair before changing into a dress and walking downstairs.

"The fourth of July is next week; do you have any plans? Kristin's spending the day at her friend Susan's house and I've been invited to a party at the Montgomery's lake house, you're welcome to join us if you'd like" Patricia made conversation and Sue Ellen did her best to participate, but she was still emotional and distant in her thoughts. Her Miss America loss had really surprised her and she was still in shock, she didn't feel like celebrating anything right now. "Mhm, the Ewings are hosting a small barbecue", JR had invited her weeks ago and she'd accepted, but she wasn't so sure she wanted to go anymore. The thought of everyone expressing their sympathies about her loss made her even sadder; she really had not expected to lose. Even though she had been telling people repeatedly to not get their hopes up and that it wasn't a guaranteed win, somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that she was just being modest. It would have seemed conceited to have too much self-confidence, but she did think she had a good chance and everyone kept telling her that she'd win; the early elimination had knocked her confidence and taken her by complete surprise. She was having a hard time dealing with it; crying was the only thing that made her feel better. If her mother had let her return to her apartment instead of insisting she come back to her house, she probably would have gone straight for a bottle of vodka and drank enough to blackout; she hated how she felt and was upset with herself for failing, she just wanted to forget everything.

**Dallas, Texas**

Julie worked at her desk and observed JR; he was on edge about something, but she wasn't quite sure what. The oil business was running well, so something in his personal life must have gone wrong. She'd watched the television broadcast for reasons she couldn't explain, she didn't even like beauty pageants and she especially didn't like Sue Ellen, so why she tortured herself by watching the Miss America pageant, she had no idea; but she was secretly pleased when Sue Ellen had been eliminated early in the competition. It made her feel better about herself to know that JR's 'special' girlfriend was about to be thrown to the bottom of the social heap again; she would be irrelevant soon enough and JR would probably lose interest in her. She hoped that he'd naturally break things off with Sue Ellen and then he'd be free again for her to pursue, she missed him, not just in bed, but his companionship. "Julie, make copies of these and file them. If daddy asks, I've gone to lunch" JR exited his office, gave Julie her orders and left the Ewing Oil building. He was in no mood to talk; he was angry at his connection in the pageant office, he'd paid good money for results and what he got was less than satisfactory. Sue Ellen should be Miss America right now, but instead, she was miserable; she'd not said two words to him since the pageant ended and he knew that she was holding all of her emotions in.

He just wanted to comfort her and make everything better, but there wasn't anything he could do now; his connections weren't strong enough to get her what she wanted and she'd put up her emotional wall, he couldn't even offer kind words or actions to make her feel better. She wouldn't let him do anything too personal to comfort her after her loss either, not with her mother around; Patricia had hovered over them from the moment the pageant ended. Sue Ellen hadn't had much time alone with JR or by herself and he feared that when she finally did, she'd let everything out in a self-destructive way; he'd gathered from their time together that she'd never been taught how to deal with emotion in a healthy way. He was much the same way; he would use women or business to comfort himself when he was down. Personal problems would be ignored and he'd throw himself into business, or he'd have a hard time at the office and find himself a woman to relieve the pain; it didn't necessarily work in the long run, but in the moment it helped. He wasn't sure what Sue Ellen's weakness was, but she had to have one and with a build-up of negative emotion, it was sure to burst in the worst way. JR hadn't been able to fix her problems as they happened and was still trying; he'd returned home on Sunday afternoon after flying Sue Ellen and her family back to Austin. Sue Ellen had barely communicated with anyone after the pageant and he'd decided to give her a little space, it was what she had asked for and what was probably best for her right now. He would let her rest for a while and then in a few days she'd be ok, at least he hoped she would. He didn't want this one little thing to have a big impact on their relationship; he knew that she placed great importance on being Miss America, but to him it was just another title. He was happy that she was Miss Texas and didn't need for her to be Miss America; he really only put effort into helping her chances because it would make her and her mother happy. He wanted her to understand his perspective, that it really didn't matter to him either way, but he didn't think that she would really want to hear the 'beauty pageants aren't important' line from him. After all, her mother had brainwashed her into thinking that being a pageant queen was the most important thing she could do, aside from being married to a wealthy man of course. He hoped that with the space he was giving her, she would naturally come to her own conclusion and they could resume their good relationship soon.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen ran her finger around the rim of the glass and stared off into space, she wasn't really thinking about anything, just letting her mind drift in and out of conscious thought. She refilled the glass and downed the clear liquid, she already felt better. This was exactly what she needed, time alone to cry, drink and forget the pain, at least temporarily.

To be continued…


	63. Solace

**Dallas, Texas**

"He'll do it when he's ready Jock, I don't think we should pressure him" Miss Ellie tried to persuade her husband to stay quiet for a little while longer, if they interfered any more, they may ruin the whole thing. "A year Ellie, it's been almost a year since I had that little talk with him and we're still no closer to having a grandson and more importantly, an heir" he was frustrated, he wanted to retire and hand over the company to his son at some point and he wanted to know that it wouldn't end with JR. No one but a Ewing would ever own Ewing Oil and he needed to know that the future of the family company was secure before making any further moves; but for that to happen, JR needed a wife and a son. John Ross Ewing III already had a name and a legacy; his future was bright, and he wasn't even real yet. "I know and I understand your frustration, I want a grandchild too. He has Sue Ellen and they seem to be serious, I don't want to rush them though. Look at what happened just a few months ago; they had some kind of disagreement, Sue Ellen didn't visit for weeks and I wasn't sure that she would ever return; but she did, and they did it on their own. I think we should let them be, let them figure out their relationship before we start messing with things and pushing them into marriage. She's still young and JR doesn't turn thirty until next year, there is plenty of time for them to get married and have a child on their own before we should start interfering. You know how JR is; sometimes I think he just does things because he knows it will annoy other people. What if us pushing him to get married actually pushes him to delay marriage? Sue Ellen will be his wife one day, but we have to be patient. They are perfect for each other and she'll be a wonderful wife, her mother taught her well; but it's amazing that JR even likes her and I don't want to be responsible for ruining a good thing. Do you not remember this time last year, when he first started dating suitable women? He never outright said it, but he was completely bored with those women, they are not his type, but somehow Sue Ellen is different and I am so glad he found her. Sue Ellen is the best thing to happen to him in a long time and I think we should let them make their own decisions, I trust that we all have the same goal" she hoped that her husband would listen to her rational argument, though she wasn't sure that he would. "Oh, I have no doubt that he'll marry her, but I don't understand the delay. JR says he'll ask her when he's ready; he's already said he's going to do it, so why not just do it? Sue Ellen isn't in college anymore, she didn't win that other beauty pageant and I can't imagine her mother wants to see her daughter working for a living; there is no reason for them to wait anymore and I don't understand why they aren't even engaged yet. Ewing women don't work and she's expressed a desire to be a mother; she could be a Ewing very soon if JR would just ask. I will never understand how that boy's mind works sometimes; it is brilliant for us in business, no one can ever quite tell how he'll approach something. However, when JR uses his mind to mess with all of our lives, I do not like it. Things would be much easier if I could just put him over my knee like when he was a little boy. Then he'd be much more agreeable we'd all be happier" he shook his head, it really would be easier if he could just spank his son into submission, but things didn't work that way anymore and adult JR was unpredictable and difficult to control. "Oh Jock; please, just don't say anything to him, not yet anyway and especially not when Sue Ellen is here later in the week", she had a little more sensitivity and understanding than her husband. From what she'd managed to gather from the little bits of information JR gave her, Sue Ellen was devastated after losing Miss America and now was not the right time for hard questions.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen couldn't remember much about the past three days; she'd lost the pageant and tried to cut off her emotions but hadn't been too successful; drinking, crying and spending a lot of time alone had helped and she already felt a little better. "Sue Ellen?" there was a gentle knock at the door of her apartment and she was surprised; JR was here, but he hadn't called to tell her that he was coming to visit. It was Wednesday evening and JR had decided that she'd had enough time to wallow on her own; it was time for her to accept it and move on, and the Ewing fourth of July party would be the perfect distraction, everyone always had a good time. Sue Ellen contemplated ignoring his knocks for a minute, but she was feeling a bit better and he had flown all the way to Austin just to see her, he deserved to at least have his knocks answered. JR waited patiently; he had a key to her apartment, he was the owner after all, but he would wait for her to open the door before just barging into the room. "JR" she gave him a small smile as she opened the door, she actually felt better just having him there, JR entered the apartment and waited for her to make the next move. Sue Ellen was shy, she didn't quite know what to say to him, "would you like a drink?" she asked and he nodded; making his drink gave her something to focus on. JR sat on the couch and waited for her to bring his drink; "how are you?" she asked, making conversation to be polite, but still unsure of how to comfortably talk to him. "I'm fine darlin', the better question is, how are you?" he took the drink she handed him and motioned for her to sit down. She contemplated her answer and then started to speak, eventually telling him everything she was feeling and all of her concerns; JR was pleased, it seemed like they were finally getting somewhere.

"I'm sorry I burdened you with all of that; my problems are trivial compared to yours. I'm sure you have much more important things to worry about and this wasn't exactly how you envisioned tonight" she felt guilty for expressing her emotions, her mother had taught her that a woman's problems were always less important than a mans and she shouldn't add more worries to his already full list. JR sighed, just when they'd made progress, she would always start apologising and doubting her validity. She was right, his problems were much more important than beauty pageants and modelling jobs, but he liked it that way; it wouldn't be good for either of them if she were concerned about truly important things like business and the dirty dealings that came with it. "Darlin' how many times do I have to tell you? I asked because I care. If I didn't care, I wouldn't ask. I don't care about a lot of people's problems, but I don't ask them about their lives. Stop apologising for having concerns. Now, you just leave everything up to me and I promise, you'll have a good life in return. How about another drink?" he stood and poured two more drinks, he was ready to turn the mood around; sadness had no place in their relationship anymore.

Sue Ellen yawned, a mixture of exhaustion from the past few days and the alcohol they'd consumed tonight; she giggled as she apologised, "I'm sorry, I'm just a little tired. It's not you" she made it clear to JR that she was enjoying their night; he'd made sure to cheer her up and she felt a whole lot better already. "That's ok, it's getting late, I suppose I should be going anyway", he mentioned leaving and she felt sad, "you don't have to go" she spoke before realising what she was saying, partially affected by the alcohol and partially because she just didn't want to spend the night alone, she liked having him close. "I really should" he walked closer to her, knowing that if he was to stay the night it had to be because she 'convinced' him to, not because he pressured her into it, "no, don't be silly. All you are going back to is an empty hotel room. There's a perfectly good guest room here", she mentioned the guest room, but secretly they both knew he wouldn't be sleeping there. "Hm, you're right, you do have a two bedroom place and we are two people; and if I were to go back to the hotel I would have to call the car service to come and pick me up, and you never can rely on their punctuality. Besides, I'm going to be picking you up in the morning anyway" he added a few reasons to stay, he wasn't sure why they were skirting around the whole thing, they both wanted him to stay, but for the sake of future questioning, it had to be a logical step, not just because they just wanted to. "Exactly; so stay. Please" she added before stepping closer to him, their conversation had eliminated any tiredness she was feeling; now she just wanted him. "It just makes sense" he closed the gap between them, hooking his arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him as he kissed her; their passion quickly taking over.

To be continued…


	64. Fourth of July

**Austin, Texas**

"Yes, have someone at reception bring it up" JR spoke to his driver and gave the instructions to have his overnight bag brought up to Sue Ellen's apartment. He hadn't even checked into his hotel, telling his driver to cancel the reservation if he hadn't called to be picked up after eleven the previous night; staying in his hotel was the backup plan, not what he really intended to do. "Who was that?" Sue Ellen came back into the bedroom after showering, she was in a great mood, JR had stayed the night and there was no awkwardness between them this morning. They both understood the boundaries she had before marriage and he was respectful of that, not pressuring her into anything more than she was comfortable with. She loved waking up with him and couldn't wait until they were married, then they wouldn't have to control themselves and she would get to experience everything he had to offer; for now though she was happy to just have him here. JR had come to terms with the fact that she wasn't as easily persuaded as he'd imagined, but he was ok with that; it was crazy to think that he was so emotionally attracted to her that the physical element of their relationship could wait. For now he was ok with spending the night in her bed without consummating their relationship, he would take what he could get and fill in the gaps without her, he didn't want to lose her by pushing her too far. He'd officially given up any personal relationship with Julie, though he did occasionally seek the affection of other women, they were women that he had no emotional connection with and he paid for their services. It wasn't cheating in his mind because there was no attachment, he would see those women once and never again; he justified that it was actually good for his relationship with Sue Ellen, neither of them were left unsatisfied now. "I called the car company, I'm having them deliver my bag and someone will bring it to me" he got out of the bed and started to dress in the clothes he'd worn the day before. Sue Ellen admired his body; of course, she always saw his chest when they were swimming at Southfork, but it seemed more private and intimate now. JR had a nice body, he wasn't as toned and physically fit as Bobby was, but she didn't care; he was much more attractive to her than his brother or any man she'd ever met, she didn't need him to look overly athletic, he already had many more attractive features. "Why don't you go take a shower, I'll get dressed and make us some breakfast" she enjoyed the quiet domesticity they had right now.

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen was always surprised by how the Ewings celebrated different events; nothing was ever just a small gathering, there were always decorations and catering to match the occasion. Today was no different, it was Independence Day and Southfork was covered in red, white and blue streamers, flags, balloons and other patriotic decorations. The barbecue was smaller than the annual Ewing barbecue or the Ewing rodeo, but it didn't feel any less festive; the Ewings invited their closest friends and associates and everyone knew that they were guaranteed a good time if they attended. As JR drove up the long driveway, Sue Ellen had mixed emotions; she was excited to be back at Southfork, she loved it there, but she was also nervous that someone would mention Miss America and she'd have another breakdown. It was still quite a traumatic event in her mind, even if she felt better now, she wasn't sure that she would feel that way all day. JR took hold of her hand when they got in the car and hadn't let go the entire drive back to Southfork, she loved the little gestures between them, it was subtly romantic and made her even more attracted to him.

"Sue Ellen" Miss Ellie hugged her and the two women went to sit on the patio, it was hot, sunny and there was a light breeze, the weather was perfect for an outdoor celebration. The two women chatted with each other for over an hour before the first guests started to arrive. Sue Ellen didn't feel so silly anymore when she stood with the Ewings and greeted the guests, she had been accepted by JR's family and the people of Dallas, and no one was surprised to see her in attendance today. The party started as soon as the band began to play, JR asked Sue Ellen to dance and she gladly accepted, she was having a great time already. A little while later, Sue Ellen giggled as they left the dancefloor to get a drink, "something funny?" JR queried, "well, yes and no. Do you remember our first date?" she could see he was confused, "I do…" he paused and waited for her to continue. "I was just thinking, this whole barbecue; it's so…Texas", she emphasised the final word and JR wasn't quite following where she was heading. "Well yes, we're in Texas. But what does that have to do with our first date?" She giggled again, "it doesn't really. I just remembered something you said and it linked back to where we are now". He gave her a look and she continued to speak, "you asked me about chili and I said it was one of those things that Texans just do well. I also mentioned barbecue, dance, football, and live music. When we were dancing just now, it reminded me of that moment. I don't know why I thought of it, I just did. Take the Texas two-step as an example, I don't even remember learning how to dance like that, I just know. But I love it and I love Texas; we really do things well here and I don't think I could ever live anywhere else. I suppose that's part of what we're celebrating today; the fourth of July is about the US as a country, but what is our country without Texas?" she finished speaking and JR just smiled, it was nice to see her enjoying herself and he loved hearing that she remembered little details about their dates. "I agree. Texas is my home and will always be my home. I suppose it's a good thing that you and I are agreed on the importance of Texas; you'll never decide that we should move away and start a new life in some other state. Can you imagine JR Ewing in Vermont or Massachusetts? It just doesn't work; Texas is my state and yours too. But, I do have to take credit for a few things, us Ewings throw the best parties in Texas and I think we should get a special mention. Don't tell me you've ever eaten better chili than my mama's, or seen prettier land than Southfork, or been on a better date than the ones I plan. No, us Ewings have the best and are the best and we only share the best with those closest to us" he grinned and she couldn't tell whether he was joking or not, "of course, how could I forget to mention the Ewing family, my mistake. Forgive me?" she jokingly pouted and he kissed her, "you're forgiven. Now, let's go and get a drink" he took her hand and they walked toward the bar.

"Come on, the best view of the fireworks is from the balcony" JR led her upstairs and onto the large balcony above the swimming pool, it was private enough for the two of them, but still public enough to enjoy the party. "JR?" she looked out over the ranch, not directly at JR, as she spoke, "how did you do it?" JR always had a number of schemes happening, but he didn't quite know which one she was referring to right now. "Keep everyone quiet" she gave him a knowing look, there was no way this just happened naturally, "today, three people mentioned Miss America and four people asked when you and I were getting married. But do you know how many of them were Ewings? Zero. Not one of your family members mentioned either of those two things; not even Lucy and she was certain that I'd win. So, how did you do it?" JR grinned, he loved that she thought he had that much power; it was true that he'd bought Lucy a few gifts to keep her quiet and he'd mentioned in passing to Bobby that she was still upset about the loss. But he couldn't believe his parents hadn't said anything; he hadn't even asked them to. He didn't want to get in an argument with his father, so he'd just avoided mentioning it and somehow it had worked; "I don't know what you are talking about". Before she could respond, the fireworks started and he turned his attention away from her; she decided to leave it, she didn't actually need to know the specifics, she was just thankful that he had done it. The little shows of power only increased her attraction to him and he knew it.

To be continued…


	65. Sibling Rivalry

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen stepped into her apartment and her eyes immediately welled up with tears, she'd been fighting the urge to cry all night and she no longer had the self-control to contain them. It had been a lot tougher to pass on the crown than she had imagined; the whole pageant reminded her of how good she had felt as Miss Texas and how bad she had felt when she lost Miss America. Being asked to ceremoniously pass on the title to the new winner was an emotional task; her whole identity was related to her pageant wins and now that part of her life was over. She knew that it wasn't entirely true, she did have other things to fall back on, but a lot of advantages had come from her status as Miss Texas, even her relationship with JR wouldn't have happened if she hadn't been Miss Texas. Now, she was just a former pageant queen; she was sure that her modelling career had peaked and she would be yesterday's news soon enough. The tears started as she closed the door, she was alone and she no longer had to maintain a calm façade, she was free to let out her real emotions.

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR, Bobby is going to sit in with you today so you be sure to explain what you're doing. You hear me?" JR refrained from rolling his eyes, but he did let out an audible sigh as his father explained the day's events, "yes daddy, of course". He couldn't wait for the summer to be over if it meant getting Bobby out of the office; Ewing Oil was his territory, it was the only place where he was fully appreciated. In their personal lives, his parents each had a favourite son and JR wasn't that son for either of them; at least in business he had his father's respect and he was needed. His father had insisted that Bobby start to learn the ropes at Ewing Oil, much to JR's annoyance. He liked being the only son that could really talk business; of course, Bobby had picked up a surface knowledge of the oil business throughout his life, but he'd never been the one to go to work with Jock as an almost full time activity. JR had missed out on a real childhood, but he'd gained an in-depth knowledge of how business really worked and had been moulded to take over the presidency one day. JR felt threatened, he hated the idea that Bobby would start coming to the office more regularly and Jock would dote on him. He feared that Jock would try to get Bobby's level of understanding and skill to catch up to where JR was at, and eventually give Bobby the title of president because he was his favourite, despite JR dedicating his whole life to learning everything about the oil business. He knew that as his father's namesake, he was in line for the presidency, but he had seen the situation unfold many times in his life. JR had always been the best, but Bobby was his father's favourite, JR's large achievements were negated by Bobby's small successes and there was nothing he could do about it.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen awoke the next morning feeling much better, she'd cried all the tears she needed to and was ready to move on and take advantage of the opportunities she still had. She was still a successful model at her agency and she was still contracted as a 'lifestyle guru' for Her Style magazine; her life hadn't suddenly ended just because she was no longer Miss Texas. She was also in a good place with JR, they were approaching their one year anniversary and she was pleased with how things were between them; the deep attraction she'd felt in the very beginning was still there, but there was also a wonderful comfortableness between the two of them now. Their families expected a proposal any day, but Sue Ellen could tell from JR's reactions that he still wasn't quite ready to make that next step. Truthfully, she wasn't sure that now was the right time either, they had really just gotten back on the right path after going through a rough patch just a few months ago. It hadn't been a public fight and neither of them had wanted everyone to know about his indiscretion with Julie, so as far as their families were concerned, they had just had a small fight. She had questioned everything about their relationship and it had taken her a long time to forgive him of his mistakes. The past few months had been wonderful, but they'd also started their relationship with a clean slate; in some ways they'd really only been dating for a few months because she'd had to start fresh with her trust in him.

As much as she was completely in love with him and she believed that JR felt the same way about her, before he asked her to become his wife, she wanted him to be sure that it was what he wanted for their relationship, and that had to come from JR's personal decision, not because anyone else pressured him. She'd learned a few things about JR in their time together; he didn't enjoy being told what to do and pushing him to do one thing often had the opposite effect; it was better to just leave decisions to him, there was much less mess that way. Her mother was still as persistent, but she'd quickly learned to only partially listen to her mother. She was pleased that her past few visits to Southfork had been calmer; there were less direct questions about marriage. She didn't like when anyone put her on the spot; it was one thing that she really had no control over; as far as she was concerned, whenever JR asked her, she was ready and she'd be happy, but he had to make that decision on his own and she was not going to interfere with his thoughts. It was all very confusing for her, there was a battle in her mind between her emotions and her thoughts, she wanted to be his wife now, but she also wanted to wait; she was almost glad that it wasn't up to her, she was terribly indecisive, she really believed that she was made to follow, not lead.

**Dallas, Texas**

"So I want you to just look over these maps and statistics and then pick out the tracts that you think we should bid on" JR passed a pile of documents to his brother. He'd never actually listen to what Bobby thought and he'd already decided which ones he would move on, but this gave him an opportunity to get Bobby to be quiet and out of his direct attention for a while. Bobby looked at the stack of papers and sighed; he didn't have half the knowledge that JR and Jock did and he knew it, he did his best, but at most he was guessing and hoping for the best. JR looked up over his own papers, his brother looked confused and almost distressed, "don't worry Bob, they're small, it's only a few million, it's a drop in the ocean if you screw up", he grinned as he saw Bobby's face drop, he really was worried that he was going to cost the company millions. JR had neglected to inform his brother that they'd already made the decision and his selections would have no real impact on Ewing Oil, but it was more fun this way; he enjoyed mind games.

To be continued…


	66. Second Best

**Fort Worth, Texas**

"Well gentlemen, how about a drink?" Bobby was enjoying this aspect of his summer work experience, it didn't involve him sitting in the office and he really didn't even have to talk much business, he just had to make sure that their prospective business partners were treated well and ended up with a favourable opinion of Ewing Oil at the end of the night. As they were about sit at their table Bobby's plan was put into action, "Bobby Ewing? Is that you?" a young, blonde woman and her brunette friend approached the men, "Stella, how nice to see you, it's been a long time", he didn't really know this woman, but he had witnessed Jock and JR do the same thing multiple times, it wasn't a difficult task, he was a people person. "Forgive me gentlemen; this is Stella, an old friend of the family, and her friend…" he waited for her to name her companion and took note of the other men's faces, they certainly wouldn't object to the next part of the plan. "Are you two here alone?" the girls nodded and he invited them to join him at their table, the men he was schmoozing were hooked and Bobby had just guaranteed that they would definitely be doing business with Ewing Oil.

JR flicked through the weekly report from his private investigator, pleased to see that Sue Ellen was filling her time with appropriate activities and appeared to be emotionally stable. It wasn't that he didn't trust her, but he always liked to have a good amount of information about the activities of his associates, it helped him to know what he should be paying attention to. "JR?" Jock knocked on his office door and then entered the room; he wasn't the kind of man who would wait to be invited in, especially in his own company. JR quickly closed the folder and turned his attention to his father, "yes daddy?" Jock threw a manila folder on the desk and spoke, "what the hell are these? I thought I told you to show Bobby what to do", JR grimaced, his father was upset with Bobby's performance but felt the need to blame him, it wasn't a totally fair decision. "I did, and he told me that he understood; but obviously he didn't" he looked over the documents and could see why his father was upset. He didn't know how, but Bobby had selected two pieces of land that were useful only for farming or development and another two that were potentially productive but not the most lucrative, he'd somehow passed over the three tracts that were actually worth bidding on. "Mhm, well I will speak to Bobby myself. But, if he tells me something different then you bet there will be hell to pay; Ewing Oil is a family business and I intend for both of my sons to be a part of it". Jock conveniently forgot to mention Gary in the plan and JR wasn't sure whether he'd genuinely forgotten he had three sons or whether he was purposely ignoring his biggest disappointment. JR didn't care too much either way, the further away Gary stayed from Dallas, the happier everyone was; even his mama, at least that was the way JR saw the situation. Where Gary went, turmoil followed and his mother always ended up with a broken heart, he didn't care where Gary was or what he was doing, he was just glad that he wasn't in Dallas and wasn't interfering in their lives. "Yes daddy, of course" JR replied; he knew that Bobby would backup his story, he had explained what to do and Bobby had said that he understood; as far as his story went, he had told the truth, it wasn't his fault that Bobby didn't have a natural talent for recognizing oil potential.

**Austin, Texas**

"So, last month's theme was 'summer in the city' and that seemed to be received well, so next month the theme is 'summer at the lake'. The two contrasting themes should work well together", Sue Ellen listened and nodded as the ideas were pitched to her; she was glad that the magazine editors still treated her the same way even though she was no longer Miss Texas and hadn't won Miss America. "These are the categories we have so far; fashion, food, activities, best places to go and helpful tips. Since we're located here in Austin and Lake Travis is so close, we've arranged for the outdoor photoshoot for this Friday; Sue Ellen, we'll also need you to come in next week for any reshoots and to final information. Does that sound alright to everyone?" Margaret, the magazine features editor, informed the staff and everyone agreed. "Ok, that's all for today. I'll see you all at next week's meeting", they left the room and Sue Ellen confirmed the details of her next photoshoot before leaving the offices; Sue Ellen was pleased with the way her job at the magazine worked, the only real work she ever had to do was modelling, almost everything else was done for her.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR was expecting Jock to be upset with Bobby when he arrived back at Southfork, but instead he was greeted by the sounds of laughter and clinking glasses; "JR, buy you a drink?" Jock greeted his eldest son with a smile and JR was more confused than ever. "Mhm" he nodded that he would like a drink and then turned his attention to Bobby, "we celebrating something?" he wasn't sure what had changed his father's mind; just this afternoon he'd been upset that Bobby was useless at recognizing good opportunities. Jock spoke before Bobby had the chance to, "we are. Collins &amp; Lawson Oil, that little company based out of Odessa; remember them?" JR nodded, Ewing Oil had tried to do business with them in the past, but things never quite worked out; "well those two were in Fort Worth doing a little business and I got a tipoff. They have a field that I'd love for us to acquire, so I sent Bobby out to meet with them and see whether they'd still be interested in doing business with us and he did brilliantly. He's a natural I tell you", Jock put his hand on Bobby's shoulder and JR could see he was proud. Bobby had set up a business meeting between Ewing Oil and a prospective business partner; it wasn't even an actual deal, just the plans to talk about a deal. It bothered JR that Bobby was praised for the smallest achievements while he had to get a deal signed and sealed before his father would congratulate him. "That's great", he weakly smiled and was glad that his mother chose that particular moment to walk into the room, it saved him from having to listen to endless praise for Bobby.

**Austin, Texas**

"That's great girls. Now, I want you two over there by that sailboat and you three sunbathing here", the photographer lined up the next photo pose and snapped away. Sue Ellen was having fun; although it wasn't actually a relaxing day at the lake with her friends, it was still a day at the lake and that was always enjoyable. "Wonderful. That's all for the swimsuit cover-ups and shorts, next we'll do swimsuits and then sundresses", they were shooting pictures of the girls first and then bringing in male models later on for a few establishing shots of the 'lake party'. The magazine's target demographic was young women, so the clothes had to be the main draw in the pictures, but young women also liked young men and the bigger group shots would do nicely to balance the layout. The photographer snapped pictures of each girl in different poses and scenarios, it was better to get all of the possible pictures now and then select the ones they wanted later, rather than having to come back and reshoot pictures because they didn't turn out as expected. By the end of the afternoon, the models were nearing the end of their enthusiasm and were beginning to get tired; Sue Ellen was pleased to finish the day with a campfire photoshoot, it didn't take much attention or work, all they had to do was look cozy and happy. As they roasted marshmallows over the campfire, Sue Ellen realised how romantic the lakeside setting was; she made a mental note to suggest more nature based activities like this to JR, though neither of them were particularly outdoorsy she had a feeling that it wouldn't matter too much when they were together.

To be continued…


	67. Scheming

**Austin, Texas**

"Is it that bad?" Sue Ellen noticed that JR had barely touched the food on his plate and became self-conscious, it was the first time she'd cooked a full meal for the two of them and she was a little nervous about her performance. "What?" JR looked up at her and realised that he hadn't been paying too much attention to the present events; "the food. I know you like steak, so I thought it would be nice. But if you don't like it, I can make something else, or we can go out". JR looked at her and then at his plate, realising that he had hardly eaten any of his dinner and she was worried that it was because of her. "No darlin', the steak is delicious, cooked just the way I like it. I guess I just have other things on my mind", he didn't quite know what to say, there wasn't much he could do about his current situation. He would never make his father his enemy, and in Jock's eyes Bobby was the golden child, especially with him working at Ewing Oil for the summer. Trying to overthrow him right now would do more damage to JR than to Bobby; he had to be smart in his approach, but he wasn't quite sure how he would do it. "Well, do you want to talk about it? A wise man once told me that a problem shared is a problem halved", she didn't mention that it was actually Clint who'd taught her to share her problems. Before him, she had just bottled everything up inside her until she exploded, usually in a self-destructive, unhealthy way; her mother had never really taught her how to cope with her own problems, just those of her future husband. She ran her fingers over his hand, "you always manage to help me solve my problems by talking them through, it's only fair that I do the same. That's what wives are supposed to do for their husbands, so I suppose the same rule applies to unmarried couples too", she wanted him to confide in her, she always felt needed when someone chose her to ask for advice. He could see from her expression that she really did want to help and he didn't want to upset her by making her think that he didn't trust her, "its Bobby". Sue Ellen was confused for a second, "Bobby?" she prompted him to continue, "daddy's taken him into the company; he's started talking about running things together, as a team. Ewing Oil is mine, I am in line to be the president and I will not have Bobby swooping in and doing the bare minimum amount of work for all the praise. I dedicated my life to Ewing Oil, I did everything daddy asked, even the dirty jobs out on the rigs when he insisted that I learn everything about oil. I spent my free time working on building Ewing Oil into one of the biggest independent oil companies in Texas; what did Bobby ever do? He spent his weekends and summers at the lake, partying with his friends; he can't even read a goddamn map for goodness sake". Sue Ellen could see that he was completely frustrated; she let him continue to speak, he obviously needed to get it all out, "…so of course, the next logical move was for daddy to bring him into the office, make him my responsibility, and then blame me for Bobby's incompetence. Then, just as I thought daddy was finally beginning to understand exactly how useless Bobby is; he goes and does the most basic thing in the world and gets praised like he's just struck oil. Do you know what he did?" he questioned her more for emphasis than anything else. "He basically did the work that my secretary could do if I asked nicely. He arranged a business meeting. That's it. We haven't even made a deal yet and daddy's already praising him like he's the best thing to happen to Ewing Oil since daddy himself", he let out a frustrated sigh and realised that he had probably come across more aggressively than she'd ever seen him.

Sue Ellen was a little shocked by his outburst, but she was happy that he was opening up to her; she liked being the one he was leaning on for support. "Ewing Oil is yours JR, you're the first born son and you're the one your daddy has been preparing for the job. I'm sure that Jock is just excited that Bobby is finally taking an interest in the business; but he knows that you are the driving force behind the success", she continued to stroke his hand and he calmed a little bit. "I know that, and I know that Bobby would fall flat on his face if daddy did trust him to make deals. However, I don't want to take the chance of that happening, because you know who will be left to clean up his mess? Me; and I'll never get any praise for it, it will just be expected; that's the way it's been forever. I made three excellent deals last week and daddy gave me a small pat on the back; Bobby sets up a meeting and gets a whole special celebration"; he pouted and Sue Ellen realised how affected he was by his upbringing; his parents were nice people, but their treatment of their eldest son had had some lasting effects. "That's terrible. Your daddy really should appreciate you more; doesn't he realise how much effort you put into Ewing Oil? You are partially responsible for the success of the company. You; not Bobby", she quickly moved into supportive mode, exactly the way she'd been taught. "Well, I'm sure logically he knows that; but you know how blinded he is by Bobby" he spoke bitterly and Sue Ellen could hear the resentment, it was time to change her tactics. "Your food is probably cold now, how about I get you a drink?" alcohol always made her feel better, she was sure JR would feel the same way. "Mhm", he got up and moved to the couch and Sue Ellen poured him a drink; "JR, we haven't known each other for _that _long, but in the year that we have known each other, I have become privy to the fact that JR Ewing always has a plan. So, what is the fate of Bobby Ewing?" she grinned at him, she knew that he was already plotting Bobby's downfall and she loved it. JR was multi-layered, the mix of vulnerability and evil genius were really an appealing combination and she couldn't wait to witness everything come to a head; JR would certainly win and she looked forward to their mutual satisfaction. Even though she liked Bobby, she was in love with JR and she would support him in any decision he made; she loved to see him on top and she was sure that he would come back to his rightful position. "Well darlin', I'm working on it. There's one thing you can guarantee though; never be fooled when I'm down, because when I am, there's only one way to go, and that's up" he grinned and let out a loud, evil laugh and she knew that he was ok, Bobby was soon to be back in his rightful place. Swallowing the rest of his drink, he roughly pulled her down toward him and kissed her, urgently and fervently. It wasn't a romantic moment, but Sue Ellen had no complaints, she loved seeing all of the different sides of JR Ewing and this one was intense and passionate, it aroused a different side of her own personality, quietly forgetting her ladylike persona, she was quick to recognize and match the intensity of emotion he was displaying.

To be continued…


	68. Rise and Fall

**Dallas, Texas**

"But Mr Ewing, it's a good deal, for both of our companies", the man was thoroughly confused, he thought he'd hit it big with Bobby Ewing, then JR Ewing came along and tried to persuade him to change his decision. "I have my reasons. If you want to keep doing business with Ewing Oil then I suggest you call off this deal. You'll get your money as long as you do what I want, it's a win-win"; JR had been unable to convince his father that Bobby was totally useless, so sabotage was the next best option. Bobby was only working at Ewing Oil for the summer, but already Jock had tried to include him in the work that JR did; come September, Bobby would be back at college, but JR couldn't risk Bobby having an influence at Ewing Oil now, it was too dangerous. "Whatever you say Mr Ewing" the man agreed and decided that it was in his company's best interest to do what JR wanted, he was a powerful man and not someone he wanted as an enemy. "Good, good; I trust that my father and brother will never know about this. Pleasure doing business with you", JR shook the man's hand and left the office; he had every intention of making a deal with this company in the future, but it had to be his deal, not something he was obliged to give credit to Bobby for. As JR left the building, he grinned to himself, three deals squashed and only two to go; he was on his way back to the top and Bobby was soon to be back where he belonged.

**Austin, Texas**

"Sue Ellen?" Patricia knocked on the door to her daughter's apartment and waited for her to answer; Sue Ellen was surprised, her mother hadn't called and she usually played bridge with her friends on a Thursday evening, it was unusual for her to be here at this time. "Mama, Kristin, how nice to see you. Please, come in", she faked enthusiasm, she didn't particularly want to spend the evening with her mother and sister, but she would if she had to. "Were you busy?" Patricia scanned the apartment; it didn't look like anything was new or unusual. "No mama, just doing a few chores. You should have called; I would have changed into a more welcoming outfit and prepared some tea" she was always on alert when her mother was around, a lady had to be prepared to become a hostess at any minute and she'd caught her off guard. "No, no, it's fine. Besides, you can go and change clothes now. I'll make the tea", Sue Ellen wasn't sure exactly why her mother was there, but she wasn't going to argue, "alright, I'll be back in a minute", she left the room and went to change clothes.

Kristin had stayed quiet and hadn't been assigned a task, so she walked around the apartment, snooping in Sue Ellen's personal things and looking at the decorations. Sue Ellen re-entered the room and noticed her sister's attention focused on the framed picture, "the Ewing barbecue" she smiled as she remembered that day, she'd been so nervous to meet all of JR's acquaintances, but the day had ended wonderfully, it was the first time she and JR had spent the night together and she loved it. "Yes, who would have thought, almost a year later and you two still aren't engaged", Patricia brought the tea set to the living room and Sue Ellen sighed, was that why her mother was here? To remind her that she was still not a married woman? "Mama, JR and I have barely been together a year, and the barbecue was in September, that was ten months ago, not a year", it wasn't a strong argument, but it was all she had right now. "Yes, well, it's been almost a year since you started dating him. Just a few weeks after the Miss Texas pageant wasn't it? That anniversary must be coming up soon, perhaps he'll propose then", she was sure that JR would propose sometime soon, she'd had enough talks with him for him to understand exactly what her plan was. "I don't know mama, maybe. But it isn't up to me, it's JR's decision and he'll make it on his own", she poured three cups of tea and Kristen started talking about something; Sue Ellen didn't really care too much what it was, she was just glad that Kristin had moved the attention off her.

"It's black, and sparkly. Wait, no, it's more just sparkly, I'm not actually sure about the colour; it's dark though", Kristin tried to describe the purse to Sue Ellen but she was just confusing her, "I'll know it when I see it". Sue Ellen knew there had to be a reason for their visit and this was it; Kristin just had to borrow something that belonged to Sue Ellen and she had to have it now. "Let's go and look" Patricia suggested and started walking toward Sue Ellen's bedroom before she had the chance to say no; it wasn't that she was really hiding anything, but she didn't appreciate the way her mother would use the opportunity to snoop around the room. "No, no, no…" Sue Ellen took each purse off the shelf and held it up, each one rejected because it wasn't right; Patricia knew her youngest daughter had the situation handled and took the opportunity to have a look through the rest of Sue Ellen's room, it was neat and tidy, but she knew there had to be something secretive somewhere. There was a fresh pile of clean laundry ready to be put away and she looked through it, it was all normal items until she noticed a blue men's dress shirt, two pairs of boxer shorts and two pairs of socks, that was unusual, Sue Ellen lived alone. She looked up and Sue Ellen was still trying to find the purse that Kristin wanted, she took the opportunity to look through a few more of Sue Ellen's things.

The bedroom had a large walk-in closet, she was impressed, with both the size of the closet, and the amount of lovely things her daughter had; JR Ewing certainly wasn't shy about spending money. Most of the racks and shelves were filled with Sue Ellen's things, but there was one small section of men's clothes; "that's it!" she heard Kristin yell excitedly and Sue Ellen sounded relieved that she'd finally found what they were looking for. Sue Ellen looked around the room, her mother was no longer there and she began to panic as she saw the light in her closet was on, "Sue Ellen Shepard, would you like to explain these?" Patricia held up a white shirt and a red tie and Sue Ellen knew that she was not in a good position. "Do you not remember the number one rule I had before I let you move in here? The one rule that applies at my house, in the dorms, in the sorority house, hotel rooms, Southfork, here, and anywhere else you may stay the night while you're still unmarried" she was angry, Sue Ellen had betrayed her trust and if she'd broken this rule then she'd probably broken some of the others too. "Sue Ellen, the rules exist for a reason. You know that the only way to find a good husband is to make sure you're the kind of girl that men want to marry. Giving a man the benefits of marriage before the wedding is wrong, you'll never be fully rewarded for your efforts and once you give away that gift, you can never get it back. I'm teaching you all of this for your own good. Now, please explain". Sue Ellen thought about lying for a moment, but her mother was pretty good at recognizing deception, she would be better off just telling the truth, "well mama, JR just keeps a few of his things here because it makes it easier than having to pack a bag full of clothes every time he visits Austin. He usually stays in a hotel, but there have been a few times where he's stayed here. He always stays in the guest room though" she lied about that small detail, it was easier than explaining exactly how intimate they could be without consummating their relationship. Patricia looked sceptical, "mhm. Well, I think you should move back home with me. There's no reason for you to stay here anymore anyway; your meetings are during the day and we don't live that far from town. Yes, you'll move back where you belong. Pack your things, I'll come over in the morning and help you move", it wasn't even a discussion, she'd made the decision and put Sue Ellen in a position where she really couldn't argue without seeming like she wanted to stay for a dishonest and immoral reason. Kristin observed the whole thing, she couldn't believe that Sue Ellen would be so stupid to keep JR's things in her own room; if she were going to use the guest room story they should at least have committed to using the guest room closet. In some ways, Kristin hated the way their mother treated them, but in others she was grateful that Sue Ellen was much older than she was; it gave her many opportunities to make plans around her sister's mistakes, she wouldn't be caught for some of the silly details Sue Ellen forgot to plan out.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR got ready for bed, satisfied that the impending events would be enough to get him back on top and push Bobby back to where he should stay, away from the real power at Ewing Oil. However, even if he failed, there were only a few months before Bobby returned to college and would be out of his way. But he was impatient, he wanted the power back now and he was doing everything he could to make sure he got it. The phone rang as he was getting into bed and he answered it, not really thinking to leave it to Raoul or Teresa, "JR?" she spoke and he immediately knew that it was Sue Ellen calling, she had a shaky voice and he could tell that she'd been crying. "What's wrong darlin'?" he asked before she tearfully recounted the whole story.

To be continued…


	69. One

**Austin, Texas**

"I still don't understand why you won't let me talk to your mother; I can be mighty persuasive when I want to", JR was annoyed, he wasn't a passive person and this wasn't easy for him. "I know you can be, but in this particular situation it would end up hurting us more than helping; my mother already thinks the worst of you and trying to persuade her to see this differently will only enhance that. She's already started talking about which men are still available, she would absolutely replace you if you stepped out of line; it wouldn't matter whether I wanted to go on a date with another man or not, she would make sure that I did and that you never saw me again. Please, just don't say anything. Let her calm down, and then maybe in a few weeks you can start that persuasive Ewing charm again", she begged him and he could see that she really was distressed about just how far her mother would go if she were angry enough. "Ok, I won't say anything. For now. However, maybe in the future your mama could use a little reminder about who is paying for that nice, private school Kristin is starting at in the fall and the reason she has that opportunity. She can't have it both ways", he looked at her and she looked visibly relieved that he wasn't going to get confrontational, at least not at the present moment. "Thank you. For this and for everything else; I have never met a man quite like you JR; my mother is not an easy person to deal with, so thank you for not exploding", she was continually surprised, sometimes she wondered why JR even wanted her. "Good, I like being one of a kind, and I'll gladly deal with your mother if it means I get to have you. Because I know that I don't tell you as often as I should, but I do love you", he lifted her hand to his lips and softly kissed it, "now, let's order dinner, because with this new ten o'clock curfew I don't want to waste a minute of our evening together.

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR, I want you to look over these contracts, and Bobby, you'll come with me to look at the Davis land. Ewing Oil is thinking of buying it but I want to see it in person first, it'll be a good experience for you", Jock spoke and JR was happy, at least Bobby was out of his way for the day and visiting land with their father wasn't exactly something JR needed to be there for. Jock was having a hard time with finding tasks Bobby could do, he wasn't as naturally talented in the technical department as JR was and it was becoming increasingly clear through his work. He had shown potential in the public relations field, networking and securing business meetings for Ewing Oil, but somehow he wasn't quite good enough for those meetings to actually materialise. Jock wasn't sure exactly what Bobby's future at Ewing Oil was, but he definitely had one, he was a Ewing and he was going to be part of the family business. As Jock and Bobby left the building, JR grinned to himself, his sabotage had worked and he was back to being the useful son again. It wasn't a permanent solution, but for the rest of the summer it would do. He was sure that Jock would be going over basic information with his brother and that would leave JR free to operate on his own terms, just the way he liked it. Things were good for him right now; the only immediate thing he had left was the small task of getting back on Patricia's good side, though he didn't think it would be too difficult, she was a woman who was easily swayed by money and that was something he had a lot of.

**Austin, Texas**

Kristin opened the door and saw JR standing with a bouquet of yellow roses in one hand and a bouquet of mixed flowers in the other. Inviting him into the house, she went to get her mother; she couldn't wait to witness another polite conversation between JR and Patricia, it was obvious that the two didn't particularly like each other right now. Patricia arrived and sent Kristin to tell Sue Ellen that JR had arrived, "these are for you Mrs Shepard" JR handed her the bouquet of flowers and she knew that she couldn't be too hostile toward him, not when he was trying to at least make a small effort. Sue Ellen walked down the stairs and JR was speechless, he often saw her dressed up for an evening out, but tonight she looked even more beautiful. "Happy anniversary darlin'" he kissed her on the cheek, handed her the flowers and they said their goodbyes before leaving the house.

Sue Ellen giggled as they entered the Driskill Hotel and took the stairs up toward the door marked 'Maximilian Room', she was experiencing déjà vu and was almost positive that inside the room would be a table, dancefloor and string quartet. "What's so funny?" JR asked, though he knew what she was giggling about, he wanted to hear her explain it. The doors opened and they entered the room, "oh JR" she gasped and then hugged him. "Do you like it?", he asked but already knew that she did, "yes, our first date was wonderful, and this just makes the memories even better", she looked into his eyes as she spoke, hoping that he could see exactly how she felt about him, "I love you JR, thank you". JR kissed her as he pulled her onto the dance floor, this was even better than their first date, there was no awkwardness and he didn't have to be quite as restrained in his physical approach as he had in the beginning.

"JR?" she took a sip of her champagne and reflected on their past year together, they'd had ups and downs, but she was so in love with him that the only things she cared about now were the good parts. "Mhm", he observed her, she was thinking and he was fairly sure that she was thinking about their relationship, they'd definitely had an interesting year, something he wouldn't have wanted to have with anyone else. "Did you ever think we'd get here?" he looked at her curiously, he wasn't quite sure of the meaning behind 'here'; "our relationship", she clarified, it was clear by his expression that he hadn't understood quite what she was asking. "I had no doubt. At the Miss Texas pageant, before we ever made eye contact and before we even spoke, I knew it. There were thirty-two women up on that stage and I couldn't see any of them but you. From the minute I laid eyes on you, I knew you would win and I knew that you would be mine one day. From that moment it was simple, I had to know you, no matter how much effort it took. Even when you didn't call me that first week that I sent flowers, I knew you would respond eventually. What happened between us that night was not a one-sided thing, I just had to be patient and wait, and eventually it worked, you did call me and we did go out. We may not have had the perfect relationship this past year, but I want you to know, I am trying and I do love you. So yes, not only did I think we'd be here tonight, I knew it", he looked straight into her eyes as he spoke and she got shivers, everything about him was appealing and he knew exactly how to melt her, "oh JR" she couldn't verbalise exactly how she felt, but he knew.

"I had a wonderful time JR; the dinner, the company, the carriage ride, everything. This second first date was perfect. Thank you" she kissed his cheek and moved closer to him as they sat in the limo on their way back to her mother's house. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself darlin'", he took it a step further and kissed her on the lips, this wasn't actually their first date and he wasn't bound by social etiquette. The limo stopped and he walked her to the door, Sue Ellen giggled as they stood outside, remembering the end of the night last year, "can I make a confession?" he looked intrigued and she continued to speak, "our first date, at the end of the night. I wanted so badly for you to kiss me, I'd wanted that all night, and then we were right here and you kissed me on the cheek. I can't describe it, that little kiss meant so much to me, but I wouldn't have minded if you…" she was about to continue when JR let out a small laugh, "I was trying to be a gentleman. Do you know how much self-control it took for me to just kiss your cheek?" Sue Ellen smiled widely as he confessed that they had felt exactly the same way, "I can imagine" she joked. JR was pleased to see how genuinely happy she was, "we got there in the end though, let's call it fate, and tonight we don't have any of those silly first date rules to follow, so I can do exactly what I know we both want", he took the opportunity to end their conversation and kissed her. Sue Ellen was thrilled, she was finally getting the end of the night kiss that she'd originally wanted, "happy anniversary JR" she whispered before wrapping her arms around his neck and opening her mouth to welcome his kiss.

To be continued…


	70. Virtuous?

**Dallas, Texas**

"This one is my favourite, no, this one", JR walked past Lucy's bedroom door and heard a small portion of her conversation; "I hope that when I'm older I'll be taller, I don't think these would look as good on me as they do on the models. My grandma says I'll grow, but it doesn't feel like it. Have you seen how tall Sue Ellen is? I doubt I'll ever be that tall", JR grew more interested and paused, standing out of sight but close enough to hear the rest of the conversation. "I don't care about being tall, I just hope that I'm pretty", Muriel replied, "it doesn't matter night now though, my mama says that girls our age shouldn't dress like that, she says that bikinis are for older girls. I don't quite know why, but I don't mind, I don't think they are really my kind of bathing suit anyway". JR's ears perked up at the words Sue Ellen and bikini, "well hello girls", he casually strolled past the door, keen to see exactly what they were looking at. "Oh, hi uncle JR" Lucy expressed almost no emotion as she spoke, JR wasn't her favourite Ewing to deal with, "what's that you two are reading?" he pointed at the glossy magazine and looked at the pictures on the page. "It's the new Her Style magazine; Sue Ellen sure does look pretty in these pictures. Do you think she could get me some of the clothes? Grandma always buys my clothes in the children's section, never the juniors section", JR picked up the magazine and leafed through the pages, picture after picture of girls in summer clothing; dresses, skirts, shorts, and finally bathing suits. "Damn", he whispered to himself as he saw what he'd been dreading, Sue Ellen looked great, but the pictures weren't something he wanted other people seeing, especially young men. He flicked to the next page and got an even bigger shock, there were male models in the next few pictures, and they didn't seem at all bothered by the immodestly dressed young ladies they were modelling with. "No Lucy, these clothes are much too grown up for you. Do as your grandma says and maybe in a few years you can shop in the juniors section", he faked a smile and left the room; he and Sue Ellen would be having a little talk about her modelling career soon.

**Austin, Texas**

"Please, just take a look at the offer and consider it. It's a really good deal, they're offering ten times your normal fee", Sue Ellen sighed, "no, I told you after the Miss Texas pageant and I'm telling you again now, I do not pose for companies like that. The money is not worth ruining my reputation and facing my mother's wrath, and I can only imagine how JR would react. Tell them thank you, but no, and for any future offers like that you can tell them the same thing", she had a wholesome image to uphold and she wasn't going to let some trashy photographer ruin that for her. "Fine. Let's go over your schedule for this week then", her manager moved on, but looked visibly upset, Sue Ellen was turning down a very well-paying gig for moral reasons, but he was losing out on a whole lot of commission as a result.

Opening the door and entering her mother's house, she realised that something was different; Kristin and her mother weren't supposed to be home until tomorrow, but the house didn't feel empty. "JR" she gasped as she noticed him sitting in the living room, "you frightened me. What are you doing here? Did we have a date that I forgot about?" she moved toward him but was confused when he didn't stand up or even smile. "No, this is a surprise visit. Where have you been?" he was straight faced and she was confused, "I had a meeting with my manager. You knew that, you have my schedule", he nodded and she was beginning to wonder if there was something she was missing, "is something wrong?" she asked, genuinely confused. "You could say that", his answer still didn't give her any clue what he was upset about, "well, what is it?" JR stood and picked up a copy of the magazine from the coffee table, "this", he handed her the magazine, too calmly for her liking; she was beginning to get nervous. "I don't understand", she flicked through the pages and looked at the pictures, there was nothing out of place and she didn't know what he was so upset about; "you know how I feel about this kind of thing. I thought you felt the same way". Now Sue Ellen was more confused than ever, "JR, I don't understand. You've never had a problem with me modelling before. What is so different about these pictures?" she looked over the pages again. "Let's recap; you won't wear a bikini at Southfork because it's too revealing for a family get-together, but you'll put one on for the whole world to see; especially those male models. Do you have no self-respect? What do you think people we know are going to say? I've already had Lucy wishing she were as tall as you, I can just imagine that the boys she goes to school with won't be thinking about your height", he sounded bitter and angry, and Sue Ellen was upset.

"JR, they're harmless pictures. I am paid to do as I'm told, I don't get to choose what to wear. But that's beside the point, it's not wrong or indecent, I'm standing with other girls on the lakeshore, it's completely appropriate. I would never do something that would hurt my image and I don't think these are going to cause anyone we know to be shocked. You can see much worse pictures in store windows or any other magazine. It's not even aimed at men, the target demographic is young girls and teenagers, and these are the clothes the companies want them to buy. It's my job, I don't choose what happens on shoot days, I just do what I'm asked to", she was upset with the fact that he was blaming her for 'ruining' her image when she had barely done anything even close to wrong. "Hm, yea sure, today it's bikini pictures on a lake, tomorrow it's lingerie, or worse. Sue Ellen, you are much too special to be seen like this by any old stranger. Leave that to the common girls of this world, you don't need to model at all, I can provide you with everything you'll ever need or want"; she wasn't sure whether to be flattered that he cared so much or angry that he didn't trust her enough to say no to 'inappropriate' offers. She sighed, "JR, don't you trust me? I know when to say no. Actually, just today I turned down a huge offer from a magazine that was willing to pay me ten times the usual amount. I turned them down because I don't believe in selling myself like that and because I know how much you would hate if I did. But the Her Style pictures really are just a bit of harmless fun, the theme was summer at the lake and we did all the pictures that went with that theme. It's completely fine for the situation; I promise, no one is going to react the way that you think they will. I love you, but right now you're being unnecessarily overprotective"; JR listened to her speaking and was relieved when she said that she'd turned down a big offer today, she did have some common sense. "I don't like it, but I suppose there's nothing I can do about these now. I would really appreciate it if you kept your work modest though, I don't like the idea of other men looking at you the way I do", he would have a talk with her modelling agency and the magazine company tomorrow, he'd guarantee that she only did completely moral work from now on. "Of course, I'm sorry you had to get so worried about these pictures. I promise you, I know my limits and I would never break those", she wasn't sure why she was apologising to him, she hadn't even done anything wrong but somehow she felt the need to make it right. "Good. Now, I'm here in Austin, so if you're free, how about we go to dinner?" he grinned, in his mind he'd won the argument and he had her back in submission, he may as well make the evening into a positive one. "I have a better idea; mama and Kristin are away until tomorrow morning, so we have the house all to ourselves…", JR grinned, "that's much better", he whispered before kissing her. It was nice to finally get time to themselves, and he wasn't going to let their earlier disagreement get in the way of him enjoying himself. Besides, he deserved this, she had to earn his forgiveness and this was the perfect opportunity.

To be continued…


	71. Matrimony

**Austin, Texas**

"Congratulations Mr Ewing, DalTex Pictures is now the majority shareholder in Southern Publications", Mr Hardesty spoke and JR smiled as he finished signing the paperwork, "good, good. Now, I trust that no one will ever know that I own DalTex Pictures. I don't want my name linked in any way, that's why I came to you, you're the best when it comes to dummy corporations. I will be leaving all of the current management in place; there are just a few small changes that I have to make to one magazine", he grinned as they ended their meeting and JR left the building; he had one more purchase to make today and then he would feel much better. This was the best way he could think of to make things work; Sue Ellen could continue to model, but he could also guarantee that he approved all current and future work before it was even offered to her; there would be no more nasty surprises for him.

**Frisco, Texas **

"Remind me again who this girl is?" JR wasn't too pleased about giving up his Saturday with Sue Ellen to attend a wedding, "Sandra Perry, she was one of the girls on the cheerleading squad. She's marrying a Canadian man named Andrew Boucher, he's a lawyer". JR nodded at her statement, it sounded vaguely familiar, "were you two close? I don't think I ever met her". Sue Ellen thought about it for a moment, "actually, that day you surprised me after the football game, I think she was in the group of girls I walked out of the locker room with, but no, we weren't really that close, just as teammates. The whole cheerleading squad was invited though and Hidden Cove Park is only a forty five minute drive from Southfork, so it would be rude to not attend, especially since everyone knows that you live close. Cheer up, I know you'll have fun; there will be drinking and dancing…and me" she leaned over and kissed his cheek, she was thankful that he'd agreed to be her date, she certainly didn't want to cause any more problems in their relationship. "How old is this Andew guy?" he was concerned that Sue Ellen's friends were all college aged and he would be bored with the conversation; even with Sue Ellen he often found himself realising that he was just that little bit older than she was, especially when Bobby was around. "Relax, he's twenty seven and he's a lawyer, he's not some frat boy. The other girls also have boyfriends that are around your age, maybe a little younger, I promise; you'll find someone to talk to. Besides, even if you don't, you can talk to me", she hoped that she was right, she didn't want to accidentally throw him into a situation where he ended up flirting with the whole table of cheerleaders because there were no men for him to talk to.

They arrived at a large, red brick, church in Frisco and JR was surprised, "oh, it's a church wedding. Do you know if it will be a long ceremony?" Sue Ellen giggled, "JR, you are like a child, so many questions. No, I don't know if it's a long ceremony, but Sandra never was a patient girl, I can imagine that she just wants to get married". JR let out a sigh of relief, he hoped she was right, "well, let's hope that I don't burn, I'm sure the good Lord knows I have sinned since the last time I was in church", Sue Ellen gave him a look and he knew it was time to stop talking, "let's go inside". Fifty minutes later, JR was relieved to hear the ceremony come to an end and the organ begin to play as the newly married couple walked down the aisle and left the church. The reception was held in a large pole marquee set up near the Hidden Cove marina, the location was beautiful for a wedding and the food and beverages available were good, but JR wasn't having a particularly enjoyable time. "Wasn't she beautiful?", "the music was lovely", "Andrew looked so happy", JR was ready to leave, but he was stuck standing next to Sue Ellen as she socialised with her former college friends. This wasn't something he was used to, there were less adults here than he'd expected and he realised that apart from Sue Ellen and the college aged girls that he slept with, he had nothing in common with twenty one and twenty two year olds, he'd always felt older than his age, and today that was feeling was maximised. If he weren't here with Sue Ellen, he probably would have already snuck off with a female guest, but he and Sue Ellen were in a good place and he wasn't looking to hurt her again by cheating on her at a party they attended together. He still had his little black book, but it never interfered with his time or dedication to Sue Ellen, it was a temporary solution to the pre-marriage problem. "Darlin', I'm going to the bar, what would you like?" he needed something to do, he was bored, and boredom was not a good thing. "Well, it's a wedding, so I suppose I'll have champagne. Thank you" she kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear, "I'm sorry about the crowd; I honestly thought there would be a lot of older people here". JR was relieved, she had noticed his feelings, that was something, "its ok, but you have to promise to dance with me later" he kissed her ear as he finished speaking and moved down her neck, temporarily forgetting that they were in public. Sue Ellen sighed, he always knew exactly how to make her feel good, "champagne it is", JR broke the brief romantic moment and made his way to the bar.

"Ok, this party may not have been my ideal, but you have to get the name of this caterer, this food is fantastic", JR raved about the food and Sue Ellen giggled, "of course, we come to a wedding and the one thing you get excited about is the food. I'll find out for you later". The band started to play and JR stood, he hadn't had too much fun this evening, but dancing with Sue Ellen always made him feel good. The music temporarily stopped and the bouquet toss was announced, Sue Ellen's cheerleading friends pulled her into the crowd and somehow she caught it, "when are you getting married?" "you and JR are perfect", "why aren't you engaged?" Sue Ellen was overwhelmed, she never would have put herself in the crowd if she'd realised that the questions were going to start again. Looking around for JR, she spotted him talking to a few older gentleman, she smiled to herself, he'd finally found some people he could relate to; deciding to let him enjoy part of the evening by himself, she danced with her friends and talked to the ones she hadn't caught up with yet.

"Excuse me ladies", JR took her hand and pulled her away from the group, "you look happy" she kissed him briefly, "I am happy", he kissed her again. "That man over there", he waved in the general direction of one of the older men, "his name is Charles Lavoie, he's a big name in Canadian oil drilling. Now, Ewing Oil doesn't do a lot of international drilling, but we're always open to hearing about what works in different locations", Sue Ellen smiled, "good, I'm glad to hear that you didn't have such a terrible night after all". They danced until the party started to wind down and then drove back to Dallas. Sue Ellen was pleased that the day had ended better than it had started, though catching the bouquet and the subsequent questions combined with the wedding atmosphere had made her wonder whether JR would ever actually propose. She gave up on thinking about it as she got ready for bed, it wasn't her decision and she wasn't going to force JR into making a decision, it had to be because he wanted to ask, not because anyone told him he had to; besides, they were happy right now and that was all that really mattered.

To be continued…


	72. The Beginning of the End?

**Austin, Texas**

"Another shampoo ad? Fall and winter cold medicine? Insurance?" Sue Ellen looked over the list of companies she would be modelling for in the upcoming month, the fun photoshoots had stopped for some reason and she was down to the ones she found particularly dull. "I'm sorry; I know you prefer fashion shoots, but your name somehow didn't make it onto the list and by the time I tried to rectify that, all the good ones were taken. I'll try and get some better ones for next month. On the positive side, you still have your magazine contract; you're the star model over there", Sue Ellen smiled as her manager apologised, there was a small silver lining, though she wasn't sure that JR would be too pleased if she kept modelling for fashion magazines. "I suppose you're right, and while you try and get me my regular assignments back, think about how much money I'm making at Her Style magazine and how that was arranged privately. You don't get any commission from that work, so you better make sure that I start getting the jobs I want, or else I may not be your client for much longer", she smiled sweetly but her words were harsh; she'd learnt a few things from the JR Ewing school of business.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR stood at the window of his office and looked out at the city of Dallas; the offices were finally quiet and he didn't have a million stupid questions to answer, it was the end of August and Bobby was finally back at college, far away from Ewing Oil, right where JR wanted him. Things were going well for him right now; he was screening Sue Ellen's modelling jobs and making sure she only got the ones that met his standards, and as a bonus, he was making a steady profit from his investments in both the magazine company and the talent agency. All would be well if he hadn't sensed how unhappy Sue Ellen was with the new 'changes' at both of her jobs; maybe he was being too harsh, maybe he should let her do a little more fashion modelling, it was almost fall and the clothing would be changing, she wouldn't have to wear anything revealing. He didn't want to completely ruin her life, just protect her from any negative feedback and repercussions on her reputation.

**Austin, Texas**

"What do you mean I can't get back in the list?" Sue Ellen was confused, she hadn't done anything wrong; in fact, she thought she was doing quite well. "I'm sorry, those are just the instructions I've been given, I don't make the rules, I just follow them", Mr Harris, the casting director spoke but Sue Ellen still didn't understand. "Instructions? Who is making these decisions? I thought you were the person in charge. I don't understand, I've never been told that there was anything wrong with my work", she was getting flustered, this meeting wasn't giving her the answers and results she'd hoped for. "I'm sorry, I actually don't know. I've never met the new owner, I just assumed it was a financial investment for them. They didn't do much restructuring within the organization, just a few changes to the modelling assignment lists", he wished that he could explain, but truthfully he didn't quite understand himself, if it weren't for the very specific orders, he would have put her straight back onto the fashion department casting list. "Do you have a way to contact them? I'd really just like an explanation. I'll keep doing whatever assignments I'm given, but I would like to do fashion again if that is possible. I even miss doing cigarette ads; at least I got to be the pretty girl in those ones", she was a little bitter, for some reason she was only being given the really boring jobs that didn't require a glamorous model, it wasn't exactly self-esteem boosting. Maybe her mother had been right, maybe she was getting old and the modelling industry was already over her; "I'll see what I can do", he tried to reassure her, the last thing he needed was an unhappy model.

**Dallas, Texas**

"Sue Ellen?" she lay by the pool at Southfork and enjoyed the sun, it was nice to be away from the distractions in Austin, "yes Lucy?" she sat up and looked at the young girl. "How old are you?" for a second she began to panic, what if she really was beginning to look haggard, was she really past her prime? "Lucy, what have I told you about that question", Miss Ellie had tried to teach her young granddaughter to be more tactful in her language, but she hadn't quite understood; at least Sue Ellen was still relatively young, unlike some of the DOA ladies, "sorry grandma. I'm sorry Sue Ellen", she apologised and Sue Ellen felt a little bad, it was probably an honest question and nothing more. "It's ok Lucy; just remember in polite company that you never ask a lady her age. But for you, I'll answer; I'm twenty one", she politely responded, though it still didn't make her feel good, she was beginning to realise that a lot of girls her own age were already further ahead in their lives than she was, she was just an unmarried, former beauty queen and has-been model. Lucy made a sound, almost gasping, "wow, you're so old, you're fourteen years older than I am"; the numbers were making her feel sick, it wasn't that she really was old, but hearing Lucy call her old made her feel old. "Lucy!" Miss Ellie hadn't realised that Lucy would make such a comment; "would you excuse me please" Sue Ellen stood and walked into the house, subconsciously taking the stairs up to JR's bedroom. JR had been talking to Jock over by the patio and hadn't been taking too much notice of the women by the pool, "Sue Ellen?" he called out to her as she ignored him and walked into the house; without thinking, he excused himself from the conversation and followed her upstairs.

"Am… am I… am I old?" she stuttered through her sentence as she cried, standing in JR's ensuite bathroom, "no, of course you're not old. What's brought this on?" he was unsure of what had happened, one minute she was happily sunbathing and the next she was an emotional wreck. "Well, it's everything; Lucy…" he heard Lucy's name and knew that she'd been causing trouble again, she was quickly turning into a mischievous young girl. Jock was always too light on her when it came to punishment and JR was dreading her teenage years; his parents were getting older and he would probably have to take on more of the parental responsibility with her if he wanted to keep her in line with his high expectations, he wouldn't have her sullying the Ewing name. "Say no more darlin', Lucy is just causing trouble. You are not old; you are young and beautiful…and I love you", he paused between the end of his sentence and added that he loved her, as much as it made him feel self-conscious to say it, it was what she needed to hear right now. "Thank you JR, I love you too. But love won't fix my problem" she began to cry again and he was now sure that there was more going on than she was explaining. "Problem?" he questioned and she tearfully explained her thoughts about why she'd stopped being asked to model where they required someone young and glamorous. "…and if they think I'm too old, then that's the end of my modelling career. First I lose Miss America and now this"; JR felt guilty, he'd caused a lot more damage than he'd intended to. He only really wanted to stop her from selling herself in a sexy way, to keep her for himself and keep her out of the eyes of other men, but he was a busy man and it had been easier to stop her doing any glamorous work than to look over every proposal that was sent to him for approval. He hadn't realised that his actions would make her feel so inadequate and bring out all of her insecurities; he would have to reverse or at least change the way her was approaching the problem. "Shh, it's ok, I promise, everything is going to be fine. I have a feeling that you'll be back to your old self in no time", he hugged her and knew that it was his own fault that she was in this position; he had underestimated how complex she actually was.

To be continued…


	73. Ewing Barbecue Two

**Dallas, Texas**

"Will _she_ be there?" Sue Ellen and JR tied their horses to a tree and walked around the pond as Sue Ellen listened to JR talk about all of the former Ewing barbecues. It was a tradition that almost everyone the Ewing family had ever met was invited and Sue Ellen was nervous that this year was going to have some nasty surprise in store for her again. JR didn't take too long to realise what she was referring to, "well yes darlin', it's not my choice, her father and husband are Ewing Oil business associates, we can't just uninvited them", Sue Ellen nodded, the barbecue was just as much about having fun as it was about networking and making business deals. "I understand, but she had better stay away from me. I don't like that woman, she's never once said a kind word to me and I don't even know why; I'd never even met her until last year", she was still a little scarred from the experience of having a drink thrown at her; "didn't I tell you last year? Marilee is a spiteful woman, she doesn't like many people, it's not really personal toward you, she's that way with everyone", he held back a grin, her feisty attitude made her one hell of an exciting woman in the bedroom, but outside of that, he didn't care too much for her. "Besides, mama said she's joined the DOA now and she's very much into focusing her energy on their charity events, maybe she's different now", he doubted it, but Sue Ellen didn't need to know that. "Mhm, maybe", she was dreading seeing that woman and hearing that she'd joined the DOA didn't make her too pleased; she thought the DOA ladies liked her, but if Marilee were there, she may not be able to continue being the charming young lady she usually was. "Good. Now, let's get back to the house; I don't want to be caught out by the sun setting on us, I'll be damned if I'm stuck out here all night"; Sue Ellen laughed to herself, the sun wasn't setting for at least an hour and they still had plenty of time to get back to Southfork. It was extremely obvious that he hated riding horses and couldn't wait to shower and change back into his regular clothes.

It was the Saturday after Labor Day weekend and Southfork was bustling with activity, the annual Ewing Barbecue was being held and no one of importance in Dallas would willingly miss the event. "Miss Ellie, you put all of this together yourself? It's wonderful", Sue Ellen admired the amount of work that went into planning the party, "thank you Sue Ellen. But it's a Ewing tradition now, once you do it so many times, it becomes somewhat of a habit. The caterers know what food we like and the staff are very good at their jobs, I just oversee the whole project", Miss Ellie was never too comfortable with accepting all the compliments, she hadn't done it alone and everyone who helped deserved to be recognized. "Well, it's a lovely party", she looked around and imagined herself as a Ewing, hoping that one day she would be one, one day soon hopefully. "Sue Ellen!" Lucy ran down the stairs dressed in her barbecue outfit, "help me pick out a pair of boots". Lucy was fairly independent but she still looked to Sue Ellen for guidance and approval; Sue Ellen was everything she'd been missing in her life, a young, female influence; she never really knew her own mother and she liked having Sue Ellen around. Sue Ellen followed Lucy upstairs to her room and helped her before they joined the rest of the family to welcome the arriving guests.

"Seth is such a good husband; he's always buying me gifts and taking me to new places, and when he works late at the office with my daddy, he always apologises and makes up for it", Marilee bragged about her marriage and the DOA ladies politely listened and conversed with her. Sue Ellen sighed; polite, friendly and courteous Marilee was almost as bad as catty, spiteful Marilee. "What about you Sue Ellen? I thought that you and JR would be engaged by now", Marilee asked the question, knowing that JR was never really the kind of man that liked to make a commitment, and if anything, he was the sole reason why they weren't yet engaged. The other ladies made comments in agreement with Marilee's question, they were all eager to hear exactly why JR was taking so long to make Sue Ellen his wife. "Well, we're taking our relationship slowly; there isn't any real rush to get married, we'll do it when it's the right time", she weakly explained, but she knew that she wasn't even convincing herself with that response. "Really? But what about the Ewing heir? I know that Jock Ewing can't wait to have a grandson. I would have thought that was reason enough for JR to propose; I know how much he wants to please his daddy", Marilee goaded Sue Ellen, she was pleased that Miss Ellie wasn't at the table, it gave her more freedom to say whatever she wanted. Sue Ellen was surprised, she didn't expect Marilee to be so upfront in inferring that JR would only marry her to please his father by providing the future Ewing heir. The other ladies were hooked into the conversation now, Marilee was speaking the words that they were all too polite to say out loud; Sue Ellen didn't know how to respond, "there's plenty of time for that. The difference between getting married now or sometime in the future isn't great. Everyone will have what they want, but at the moment JR and I are happy with the way things are and I'm sure that when the time is right, he'll propose. But it isn't up to me to decide when he will ask. So, if you really wish to know, you'd be better off asking him, because I don't have an answer for you", she started off trying to be polite and diplomatic, but her frustration with the situation and the continual questions affected the way the rest of her reply was phrased. Marilee smirked, "hm, if he doesn't act fast, Bobby may beat him to it. Even Gary's already been married once, though I'm not sure that counts; that girl wasn't exactly Ewing material"; Sue Ellen was shocked, how could Marilee speak so openly in such a harsh and judgemental way? She didn't even try and disguise her feelings behind kind words. "As I said, it's JR's decision, not mine. But right now, we're happy with the way things are", she smiled politely and the other ladies took it as a signal to change the topic of conversation before this turned nasty.

"JR! IS IT TRUE?" Bobby screamed at his brother and immediately had the attention of every guest at the barbecue. Sue Ellen turned around and watched from her seat, she wasn't sure exactly what was happening, but Marilee sure looked amused. "It's not what you think Bob", JR tried to reason with his brother, someone had blabbed, he didn't know who, but he would find out. "So you did", Bobby was angry, he couldn't believe that JR would go to such lengths to keep him out of the business; before anyone really knew what was happening, Bobby hit JR. One of the ranch hands that Sue Ellen recognized as Ray ran toward them and tried to break up the pathetic fist fight, it was better he intervene sooner rather than later, Bobby was always much more of a physical fighter and it wouldn't have taken much to defeat JR. As quickly as the whole thing had started, all three men were in the swimming pool and Sue Ellen was left standing watching the whole thing in confusion; "every year" Marilee chuckled to herself, this was not the first and would definitely not be the last time someone ended up in the Southfork swimming pool.

To be continued…


	74. Motivations and Actions

**Dallas, Texas**

"What was that all about?" Sue Ellen sat on the edge of JR's bed and watched him look through his closet for a clean shirt, "just a little business problem. Nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about", he didn't feel like explaining the whole chain of events. He still hadn't quite worked out how Bobby knew about it, he'd paid good money for silence and someone had broken their promise; he was already formulating a plan for the downfall of the snitch. "Business problem? Bobby is barely in the business. What's he so upset about?" she was a little confused; JR had alluded that he would deal with Bobby and she didn't understand why Bobby would be angry with JR, he was usually very discreet with his underhanded business deals, "he's not in the business; that's the point". She let out a small gasp as it all came together in her mind, JR had done exactly what he intended and somehow Bobby had found out; "he can't be upset, you were just doing what was best for Ewing Oil, any sane person would have done the same". She defended his actions, he was her boyfriend and she felt like she should support him no matter whether he'd done something wrong or not, he needed someone on his side. Her mother had taught her that a wife needed to be her husband's biggest supporter; if she wasn't there when he most needed her, then he wouldn't look too kindly on her when he was at his most successful. "Exactly, Ewing Oil is what's really important here. Too bad that Bobby uses his fists instead of his head", he knew that he wasn't completely acting in the best interests of Ewing Oil when he squashed Bobby's business dealings, but he would never admit it out loud. Part of the motivation was his own ego, he wanted to be the sole Ewing son at Ewing Oil and he would do anything to improve his position. "It's not your fault that Bobby isn't as smart as you", she continued to boost his ego until he felt a lot better, confident that he could talk his way out of any problem; he wasn't concerned with Bobby anymore, instead he just needed to make sure that his father saw things his way. "Thank you darlin'", he was sincerely pleased with the way she was acting, she was the perfect, supportive girlfriend and she would make an excellent wife. He wasn't sure she'd feel the same way about his actions if she ever found out about his hand in her modelling career though, it was one thing for him to do it to other people, but if he hurt her, he wasn't completely certain that she'd be so forgiving. It didn't matter too much though, he had hidden his involvement well and she didn't have the intuition or resources to go and look for that information.

**Austin, Texas**

"Good news, I managed to get you back on the list. You have a photoshoot on Thursday for a car advertisement", Sue Ellen was pleased to hear that she was back on the list but surprised that she'd been given a car advertisement, those were usually difficult to get, they paid well and the companies were selective about which models they used. "That's wonderful, thank you", she stood to leave and then turned around, "just out of curiosity, did you get an answer for why I was taken off the list?" it wasn't an urgent question, she really was just curious. "No, truthfully I didn't have to do much at all, I came in on Monday morning and there was a message from Mr Harris saying that there had been another change and you were on the list again. There is just one stipulation; everything must be tasteful. I suppose the owners want to make sure that this stays a reputable company. I didn't question it; we both got what we wanted"; Sue Ellen agreed, it wasn't as if she were planning on doing any improper work anyway, tasteful was fine with her.

**Dallas, Texas**

"Are you sure there's nothing else you need?" Julie wasn't stupid, she could tell that something was going on and JR was not happy about it, Jock had been cold toward his eldest son all week and she suspected that one of JR's unorthodox business deals had gone wrong. "No, no thank you. You can go home if you're finished everything you need to do today", he could use the company of a woman, but it couldn't be Julie, she was too close to Jock for him to spill any secrets and he didn't want to hurt Sue Ellen by rekindling an old personal relationship. "Has daddy left already?" he wanted to make sure he stayed at the office at least as long as Jock did, it wouldn't help him if he added leaving early to the list of 'offenses' against him right now. In his own mind, the Bobby thing wasn't really hurting them and he shouldn't have been treated the way his father was treating him at the moment. Ewing Oil would still get the deals with the companies he had postponed meetings with; they would just be credited to the good work of JR Ewing, not Bobby Ewing, there really wasn't that much harm in his actions. "Yes, he left about ten minutes ago", Julie started to shut the door to his office, closing her and JR inside together, but JR was too quick for her, he had promised Sue Ellen that there was no more him and Julie and he intended to keep that promise. "You can leave" he dismissed her and she could tell by his tone that he wasn't going to give in. She left the room and JR packed up his desk before he made two quick phone calls, "yes, my regular suite in an hour, thank you", he grinned to himself, he'd be able to release some of his tension soon. The encounters he had with these women were anonymous and meaningless enough that he didn't think they would hurt his relationship with Sue Ellen, there was nothing personal between him and the women he hired, it was purely a business transaction and it was purely confidential; Sue Ellen never had to know and would never know.

**Austin, Texas**

"Ok sweetie, I want you to lean against the car door", Sue Ellen cringed every time the photographer called her sweetie, it wouldn't have bothered her if he weren't so sleazy, she got a bad vibe from him. This wasn't what she'd expected when she had accepted the gig, it was a lot different to the work she'd been doing the past few weeks; this was more about selling herself as well as the product. It made her uncomfortable to know that it was about her physical appeal to male customers more than female; maybe JR had been right in asking her to stop with that kind of work. "Good, now I want you to sit on the hood and look into the distance", posing like this made her uncomfortable, it was definitely about her sex-appeal; she became even more self-conscious as the male model was directed to watch her and interact as if she were the one of the benefits that came with owning this car. "Good girl, now lay down", she heard the direction but knew she couldn't do that, "uh, I don't think I should", she didn't want to cause a scene, but she also didn't want to ruin her reputation by posing too provocatively. "Excuse me?" the photographer wasn't pleased with the model's interruption, she wasn't paid to add ideas, she was paid to pose. "I, I just don't think that would be good for my image. Besides, you have plenty of other pictures in different poses, I'm sure there are a lot of good ones", she wanted to remain strong, but he looked angry and she really didn't know whether she could keep arguing, she was a people pleaser. "Do you want me to call your agency and tell them that you're being uncooperative? I can get a new model here in no time", it sounded almost like a threat and she didn't want to get in an argument, she was in the weaker position, she had just been put back on the list and she didn't want to lose that position again. "No", she whispered and did as she was told; not pleased about her actions but also relieved that she hadn't been fired.

To be continued…


	75. Consequences

**Austin, Texas**

"What the hell are these?" JR threw an envelope of pictures down on the coffee table and Sue Ellen suddenly wished she hadn't asked her mother to give them time alone, JR was angry and she was scared. As she picked up the pile of photographs she realised exactly why he was so upset, these pictures weren't at all what she'd agreed to model the last time they'd gotten in an argument and she was almost ashamed of herself that she'd even allowed herself to pose like that. "How did you get these?" JR was livid, that wasn't the question that needed answering right now, "never mind how I got them, what the hell were you thinking? How could you let yourself be seen like this?" Sue Ellen was speechless; she didn't really have an answer. "I…I'm sorry JR. I didn't want to, but the photographer he…" JR cut her off, his protective side had changed the focus of his attention and his general mood from angry to defensive. "The photographer did something to you? What's his name? I'll deal with him", Sue Ellen had no doubt that he would deal with the photographer, he was definitely angry enough; "well, I didn't want to pose like that, but he said that he'd call my agency and tell them I was uncooperative. JR, I just got back to doing my regular work, I can't have negative feedback now, I didn't feel like I had any other choice", she was close to tears now, defensive of her actions but only because she felt like she had to be, she didn't actually think what she'd done was the right thing. JR was relieved that the photographer hadn't physically touched her, he had just threatened her; though that wasn't much better and wasn't going to save his career. "Sue Ellen, you always have a choice. You do not need to be a model, you choose to. I don't like that you're choosing your job over your dignity. You are my girlfriend and I would gladly provide for you if it meant you didn't have to sell yourself like this. Hell, I bought you an apartment for graduation, you don't need to work, I can give you all the money and things you'll ever need and want. I let you model because it seems to make you happy, but from the sound of all the stories you've been telling me lately, it isn't making you happy anymore. I don't think you should do it any longer; I'll set up a fund for you and you'll have everything you need", he finished speaking and waited for her to react, it would go one of two ways and he wasn't sure which one she would choose.

Sue Ellen was a little surprised, was he suggesting that she quit modelling? "I'm not going to quit, I like modelling, especially now that I'm back doing fashion. I was complaining these past few weeks because I wasn't getting the work I wanted, but I am now and this is just one small bump in the road. I didn't want to pose like that, but you're going to deal with the photographer and I'm sure that you'll never let anyone see those, so it's like it never happened, right? I promise, I know my limits, this was just one little mistake. I love you for offering to provide for me, but until we get married, I'm not sure that I want to quit modelling just yet", she didn't want to admit it out loud, but she liked modelling because it made her feel special and important. She actually like that people recognized her from magazines and gave her attention that other girls didn't get; she wouldn't say it out loud because it would make her seem narcissistic and conceited, but attention was one of the things she loved about modelling. JR listened; this wasn't as easy as he'd hoped, "let me explain more clearly. When I said that I didn't think you should model anymore, I meant that I don't want you modelling anymore and you won't be modelling anymore, I was trying to be as kind as possible but you're being argumentative. We've had this discussion before; those bikini pictures? Remember? You told me that I was being overprotective about harmless pictures and that you knew your limits; that you'd never pose immodestly. I think these pictures prove that you don't have quite as much self-control as you originally thought. I'm standing by my position, modelling is just too provocative these days; I won't have you in that environment anymore", he was determined; she would not argue with him and would not get her way. There was too much at stake for her to ruin everything over a few silly pictures, she did not need the money and she didn't need the infamy that would come if he allowed these pictures to be used, it would ruin the good-girl image that she had.

"You won't have it? JR, you are not my husband, you have no authority to make those demands. I told you, I won't do it again, but please, give me another chance, I don't want to quit modelling now", she was no longer apologetic, she was angry; he really wanted her to just quit. What was she supposed to do with her time if she stopped modelling? He hadn't even proposed, she was nothing and no one yet, she had to be a model if she wanted to stay relevant. JR didn't like that she was arguing, "you may not be my wife, but if you ever do want to be Mrs JR Ewing, you'll take my suggestion and quit. Otherwise, you'll be single and jobless, because mark my words, these are the last pictures you will ever pose for. Your career is over; your modelling days are through. If you'd like our relationship to be over too, then keep arguing", his eyes were full of rage and she'd never seen him like this. No wonder he was so feared in the oil community, when he wanted something, he got it; he didn't quit at the first hurdle. Sue Ellen could tell that he was completely serious; she'd just ruined her own career with her inability to say no when her gut feeling was telling her to. There was no doubt in her mind that JR wouldn't follow through on his threats to make sure that she never modelled again, she didn't even know that he was already in control of the work she did have and she was on the losing side with either decision she made. "Fine!" she yelled, JR had won and she really was not happy with the situation; she turned and started to walk away, determined to make him suffer at least a little bit; she wouldn't stay there and watch him act pleased with himself. "Where do you think you're going?!" he shouted and grabbed her wrist, he wasn't going to let her get away that easily; for some reason, the way she had just screamed at him was very attractive, he was turned on by this side of her. "Upstairs, I don't think you need me here to celebrate your victory", she spoke bitterly, "not until I say so" he pulled her back to him and she was confused, she couldn't quite read his emotions, there was anger, but there was something else. Was it lust? "This is my house, I can do what I like!" she was arguing just for the sake of arguing now, interested in why he wanted her here, "I think we've determined that I'm the one in control here" he spoke in a low, husky voice before he kissed her. She was shocked, how did they go from arguing about photographs to arguing about their relationship to this? This wasn't a romantic kiss, it was demanding and filled with raw emotion, as much as she hated that he'd won, she loved that she was seeing a different side of him and she loved how he was making her feel right now.

To be continued…


	76. Aftermath

**Austin, Texas**

"JR?" she lay on the couch in his arms, both exhausted from fighting and then making up; it was finally calm and she was beginning to realise exactly what she'd agreed to. "Mhm", he continued to stroke her hair, he wasn't really in the mood to talk but he'd answer whatever she was about to ask, "JR, I will quit modelling because you're asking me to, but how am I supposed to do that? I have contracts and people who are relying on me. It's not that easy to just hand in my notice and say I'm done with it forever". JR smirked, he owned part of both companies, she would have no trouble 'resigning', "darlin', that is not something you need to be worrying about, you just do exactly what you would if you were leaving any job, hand in your notice. I promise, no one will be upset with you, and if they are, you just tell me. I will deal with any problems; business is my area of expertise", he would have preferred that she never even had to deal with business problems, that was an area that men were more suited for, but he'd tried to let her do as she pleased, a decision that hadn't turned out so well. Sue Ellen smiled, JR was up to something and right now she didn't really care what it was, he wasn't upset with her anymore and she was exactly where she wanted to be.

**New Orleans, Louisiana**

"…my manager, he didn't seem very surprised at all, it was strange. Then, after I spoke to him, I drove over to the magazine offices and they told me that there was some 'restructuring' going on in the company and my section had been cut; I was made redundant in a position that I intended to quit. They paid me for the rest of my contract, granted there were only two more months left before we were due to renegotiate, but they still paid me to leave a job that I was already planning to leave. I honestly don't know what to believe, it all seems so coincidental, JR asks me to quit, then I don't even have to quit, it's already done for me. When I tried to tell him about it, he looked surprised, but I really don't know whether he was or not. He made it pretty clear that he had the power to end my career, but I'd already agreed to do it on my own, so I'm not sure what he would get out of it by having me laid off instead of resigning myself. Besides, I was told that it was a companywide decision, JR doesn't deal in modelling and publications, he couldn't have manipulated that. Could he? He is the most confusing man I have ever met", Sue Ellen sighed, "I'm sorry, I came all the way to New Orleans to see you and little baby James and all I've done is complain about my relationship". Paula smiled, "it's ok. You're in love and love is not easy, especially with a man as complicated as JR Ewing", she laughed to herself as she finished speaking, complicated was an understatement; Sue Ellen's life was never boring. Sue Ellen smiled at Paula's observation, "you're right, and I do love him. I honestly think that's why I worry so much about what he thinks. I've dated many men before, only a few of them have been my boyfriends, and only a few were people that I really cared about. But JR, he's different. I really love him and I really care about how he thinks of me, I don't want to disappoint him. With most of the men my mother set me up with, it was all show, of course I wanted to make a good impression, but that was because I wanted a good public image, not because I really cared about what each individual man thought of me. Even Clint, I cared what he thought, but I didn't always listen to him", for a second her mind drifted back to when she and Clint were together; she'd thought they had problems, but they were nothing compared to the things she and JR faced together. "I'm sorry, I'm doing it again. I promise, no more talk about my problems. So, how's life as a wife and mother? This little boy is adorable, I can't imagine that there's ever a dull moment", she cradled the baby in her arms and for a brief moment she felt like a mother. She couldn't wait to have a child of her own; all she needed was a proposal from JR, she loved him so much and was looking forward to being his wife and the mother of his children one day, she hoped that that day would be soon. "You're right about that, there is never a dull moment", Paula jokingly replied, Sue Ellen would have a much easier time than she was having; she didn't imagine that the Ewings would expect the mother of John Ross Ewing III to do all the work.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen ran five miles and around the streets and parks in her neighbourhood and returned home, showering and changing into regular clothes. She then decided to go shopping, it was a nice day and she had no other commitments. Returning home from her shopping trip with four bags of new clothes, she looked at the clock and was shocked; it was only one thirty in the afternoon. She had never realised before how much time there was in a week, or even a day; she had been so occupied with college work, modelling and pageant work, she had never really had a lot of free time. She sat down, made herself a cup of tea and read a stack of magazines for the rest of the afternoon. Patricia returned home from whatever it was that she did all day and noticed her eldest daughter sitting in the living room reading magazines, "have you been doing that all day?" She wasn't upset that Sue Ellen was no longer a model, as long as JR Ewing was supporting her and kept his promise to marry her, she didn't care too much what her daughter did, as long as it didn't hurt her reputation. "No, I went running and then I did a bit of shopping this afternoon. I just made some tea and started reading these magazines a little while ago"; she'd actually lost track of time, she'd been sitting there for over an hour, but her mother didn't have to know that. Patricia could see from Sue Ellen's facial expression that she wasn't completely happy with her new life of leisure, though she would soon change that way of thinking, "oh, good. This life is actually good practice for you", she managed to always find some vaguely positive side, "how so?" Sue Ellen didn't quite know what her mother was getting at. "Well, when you're Mrs JR Ewing, you'll have a lot of free time. JR won't always be there to do things with you. I imagine that you'll join that nice organization that Miss Ellie is the head of, what's it called? Oh yes, the Daughters of the Alamo. You'll meet lots of new people through the Ewings, but I suspect that you'll still have some alone time. The way you're living now is good practice. I'm pleased that you're keeping up with your physical fitness; you make sure that you always keep yourself looking nice, you don't want to give your husband any excuse to find fault with you, especially with your appearance. As for your mental ability, perhaps fashion magazines aren't what you should be reading all the time. I'd recommend reading the classics during this time, a well-read lady is always able to make conversation. You want to appear educated and worldly, but never smarter than the man you are conversing with. Maybe you could restart those tennis lessons again too; I know you always enjoyed tennis, and wealthy men love tennis", Sue Ellen tried hard not to roll her eyes, especially at the final words in her mother's sentence; it had started as a somewhat well-meaning conversation, but had turned into the classic Patricia Shepard life lesson. "I'll keep those tips in mind, thank you mama", she tried to be sincere before excusing herself and going upstairs; although she'd been alone all day, she wanted to be alone again, it was preferable to listening to more of her mother's 'wise words'.

To be continued…


	77. Conflicted

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen spent her days moving from hobby to hobby, and her nights with JR, the Ewings or her own family. It was enjoyable, but she still felt unfulfilled; it was difficult to make friends with people when she was in her position. Her friends from college were all married, had jobs or still in college; the gap in their lives was getting bigger and bigger and it was becoming harder for her to relate to their lives at all. She had no money problems or work stories to tell, she didn't even have any real relationship drama to complain about; her life was at a standstill, just progressing through time, but never actually developing. She tried to distract herself from the distance between her and her old friends by making new friends, but the ladies she met at her activities were different. They were nice, but they also had completely different life circumstances to her; she was just JR Ewing's girlfriend and a former Miss Texas, but she wasn't Mrs JR Ewing, she wasn't even engaged to be Mrs JR Ewing. It was beginning to get very frustrating for her, how was she supposed to keep explaining their relationship situation? There was absolutely no reason for JR to not have proposed already unless he was getting cold feet about their relationship; it seemed that everyone was ready for an engagement, everyone except for JR.

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR? Are you busy?" Miss Ellie knocked on his bedroom door and he was surprised, "no mama, please come in", he opened the door and Miss Ellie entered the room, "how are you JR?" he was a little bit confused, his mother didn't usually seek him out for conversation and hardly ever just asked him how he was. "I'm fine mama. Why do you ask?" she was either going to ask him for a favour or want to know details about his private life that were private for a reason. Miss Ellie felt a little strange, she hadn't been in JR's bedroom for a long time and she hadn't seen the small changes that had occurred over the past year. "That's a lovely picture", she pointed at the framed photograph of he and Sue Ellen, the first personal photograph he'd ever placed in his room by himself, not because a decorator or his mother put it there. "Thank you" he looked at the picture and remembered the day it had been taken, it was when he and Sue Ellen were first dating and every date was an opportunity to impress her. He'd surprised Sue Ellen with a romantic sunset dinner on a yacht on Lake Buchanan and he had been almost certain that the romantic atmosphere and location would allow him to get her into bed; remembering the date now, he realised exactly how much he'd underestimated her willpower. "You and Sue Ellen look very happy together", she admired the photograph, they were a photogenic couple and as far as she could tell, they were very well suited to each other; "thank you, we are", JR was still unsure of where this conversation was heading.

Taking a deep breath and hoping that her words weren't misinterpreted, she began to speak, "JR, forgive me if this isn't my place, but I'm curious"; as soon as she started to speak, JR knew exactly where this was heading, "mama…". "No JR, please, just hear me out", she had been waiting too long to ask and wasn't going to be deterred by his unwillingness to even discuss the subject, "Sue Ellen is a lovely girl, she's charming, polite, beautiful and she loves you. However, I'm afraid that she'll start to have doubts about your seriousness if you wait much longer. I know you've said that you want it to happen at the right time, but when exactly is the right time? Because Sue Ellen has graduated, she's no longer Miss Texas and she's not even modelling anymore; now seems like the perfect time. If you're not serious about her then I don't think it's very fair to keep her hoping and waiting; there is only so long a woman will wait for a man to make a decision before she has to make it herself. You've met Mrs Shepard; I don't doubt her seriousness when it comes to her daughters lives. I'm not trying to tell you to exactly what to do and I know that even if I did, it would be difficult to make it happen, you and your father are two very stubborn men. But please, consider everything that's at stake here, you are not the only person affected by this", she finished speaking and hoped that he didn't take it the wrong way, he was lucky that it was her giving him this speech though, Jock would have been a lot tougher on his eldest son.

JR took everything in; he was conflicted, he loved Sue Ellen and couldn't wait to make her his wife, but he also realised that marriage was a big commitment and he wasn't sure that he was ready to make that kind of commitment and actually stick to it. He had been a bachelor for so long and he enjoyed the variety that came with that; even though he wasn't married yet, it was already more difficult to satisfy his deepest desires and keep his girlfriend happy. Having to be so secretive about his meetings was irritating, he'd never before had to hide a whole part of his life and it was exhausting to have to work around a schedule to stop Sue Ellen from knowing. He wasn't sure if he was ready to commit to having only one woman for the rest of his life; it was a mental challenge as well as an emotional one, he had his own hang-ups involving the physical side of their relationship and it was difficult for him to think any differently. Sue Ellen was a lady, he most definitely wasn't a compete gentleman; they may be compatible in life, but he wasn't sure about in the bedroom. Of course, he wanted to have her in that way, but husbands and wives were supposed to be proper, a majority of things that turned him on were anything but proper; it scared him that he could possibly be locking himself into a lifetime of unhappiness. He always felt bad when he treated Sue Ellen in any way that wasn't suited for the lady that she was; she was fragile and there were times when he thought that he was too rough with her, it shouldn't happen and it wasn't something he could control. He often ended up regretting treating her like that afterwards but he failed to realise that Sue Ellen wanted him any way that he wanted her; it didn't upset her when he kissed her out of anger or frustration. It had confused her at first, but then accepted that it was just another part of his personality and she enjoyed how passionate it made him. She wasn't as fragile and proper as he imagined her to be, she didn't need him to always act romantically; sometimes she just wanted him to act on his desires without considering the ladylike side of her as the dominant side. In JR's mind, there was a distinct line between the kind of things husbands did with their wives and what they did with their mistresses; he didn't want to marry her only to make her upset because he had to seek other women for satisfaction; that would just hurt them both and their families. He didn't really know what he was waiting for, nothing looked like it would change in the near future and he didn't want Sue Ellen to change for him, he wanted to marry the lady that he fell in love with. It was a problem that he'd been going over and over but had yet to come up with a solution. Neither of them realised it, but they had a huge communication issue that was affecting their relationship; if they just talked it out then they probably wouldn't have had as many questions for each other.

"Mama, I love Sue Ellen and I am very serious about her, but as I've said before, I want us to get engaged at the right time. I can't explain when that will be, because if it had happened then I would already have proposed, but I promise, it will happen", he didn't know how to explain without going into all the details, they weren't something his mother needed to know. Miss Ellie wasn't surprised at his words, they were the same ones he'd been saying for months, but she was beginning to understand that even JR himself didn't quite know what he was waiting for. "Look, I am serious", he walked to his dresser and found the small box in the back of his drawer. His actions surprised her, he wasn't just saying that he wanted to marry Sue Ellen, he physically had a ring and was waiting for the right time; "it's beautiful" she admired the huge diamond, "it will look lovely on Sue Ellen's finger…whenever you decide". She smiled and took his revelation as a cue to end their conversation, she had gotten a small piece of new information and that's all she really needed or wanted, as long as he was serious about Sue Ellen, she was satisfied for now. JR stood and looked at the photograph again, the conversation with his mother had just revived all of his confusion; he didn't know when the right time was and he wasn't sure that he ever would.

To be continued…


	78. Companionship

**Austin, Texas**

"Good, but try moving your elbow like this", Sue Ellen had taken her mother's suggestion and started playing tennis again, something she had done in high school and then occasionally when she and Clint were together, but for some reason she had slowly stopped playing; she was enjoying getting back into something that she used to enjoy. Her tennis instructor was a very attractive man named Jack and she enjoyed their 'lessons'. She didn't really need an instructor, she wasn't planning on entering any competitions and she already knew how to play fairly well, but hiring an instructor was easier than trying to make consistent plans with her friends; everyone seemed to have things going on in their lives and no one had as much free time as she did. Jack was obligated to meet and play with her twice a week and over the past month they'd become friendly; it had become a habit to meet at eleven for their game and then have lunch in the clubhouse afterwards. Sue Ellen hit the ball but it bounced and hit the net, she wasn't having a good day and her game was way off, "what was that?" Jack's instructor mind kicked in, she may be his opponent, but she was also his student, he was supposed to be correcting her habits, not playing off her weaknesses. "Nothing, I'm fine. You serve", she really just wanted to focus on the game, not on her own problems. It was the week after Thanksgiving and she was still feeling a little bit of disappointment from yet another holiday where she hadn't gotten engaged; her mother had done it again, hyped up a simple event so much that she was left totally disappointed when it passed just as any other day. In her subconscious, she had taken her mother's words to heart; she really did believe that JR inviting her family to Thanksgiving dinner at Southfork meant that he wanted their families together to make the announcement, but instead it was just another awkward dinner where the 'when the time is right' excuse was used again. It was really starting to bother her, she was totally ready to make that commitment and it hurt her that JR didn't seem to think they were; she now shared the same opinion as their families, if not now, then when?

"Your game was a little off today, is something bothering you?" Jack couldn't help but care for her, she was sweet and sensitive as well as being pretty and approachable, she was quite unlike most of his other students, mostly middle aged women, a few children and some older men. He and Sue Ellen had managed to build somewhat of a friendship alongside their professional relationship, he had quickly realised that she was seeking personal interaction and friendship more than actual tennis instruction, she was lonely and from the sound of her stories, her boyfriend didn't help the situation. "It's nothing; just my own stupidity, I really should know better than to listen to my mother", she wasn't sure that she wanted to spill all of her secrets to someone she'd really only known for a few months, she liked Jack, but she still wasn't sure it was the right thing to do. "Hey, it's affecting your tennis game, I'm obliged to fix that", he grinned and she knew he was joking, he did care and he would eventually get the information out of her, she may as well explain it now and get it out of the way. "It's JR…" she began to explain the situation, pleased to have someone who actually wanted to help.

**Dallas, Texas**

"Tennis, lunch, shopping, tennis, riding, swimming, book club, shopping, lunch, charity fundraiser meeting…" JR sat in his office rereading the list of Sue Ellen's activities, nodding as he noted that everything was exactly as it should be, she wasn't doing anything that she shouldn't. Sue Ellen didn't know it yet, but her new friend Jack was no threat to their relationship, JR had had him investigated the minute she started taking tennis lessons and casually mentioned her male instructor. He had found out some interesting information about Jack and he was secure in the knowledge that Jack was and would only ever be interested in Sue Ellen as a friend and he didn't feel it was necessary to drive him away; he always had the information to blackmail him if he needed to. He felt a little guilty about having her followed when she hadn't done anything to make him distrust her, but he had to make sure that she was definitely the right woman for him. He had sensed how disappointed she'd been on Thanksgiving, everyone had expected a proposal, even JR had been planning on asking, but at the last minute, he'd been struck with doubts, about himself, her and their relationship. Their relationship had been different lately and he didn't want to ask until everything was perfect; the moment had passed and he'd decided that it would have to happen another time. The pressure was beginning to get to him; his father had asked him again when he'd be getting a grandson and JR didn't quite know how to explain how he was feeling about the whole thing, emotions were never a big topic of conversation in the Ewing family.

JR's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the intercom and his secretary speaking; "JR Ewing here", his secretary hadn't been very detailed about who exactly was calling, he would have to talk to her about that later, he didn't enjoy not knowing what kind of conversation he was about to have. The voice on the other end of the line surprised him, it was a woman, he hardly ever spoke to women in a business capacity; "good afternoon Mr Ewing, my name is Ms Williams, I'm the accounts administrator at The West Lake Hills Academy", JR knew the name, but it was completely escaping him where he knew it from. Ms Williams noted his pause, he obviously did not comprehend why she was calling, "we have your name as the primary billing account for a Miss Kristin Shepard…" JR nodded, "mhm", and Ms Williams took it as a sign to keep talking, explaining that although the tuition had been paid, the extracurricular fees had not; it seemed that Patricia had enrolled her youngest daughter in almost every extracurricular activity the school offered, billing all of the costs to her school account. "No, I will not be making those payments. Mrs Shepard and I have an agreement, I pay for the tuition, but everything else is her responsibility. I suggest you speak to her if you'd like those payments"; he couldn't believe her nerve, he wasn't even married to Sue Ellen and already her mother was using him for her own gain, she wasn't even being discreet. He knew that Patricia would ask him to pay the rest of the fees and the more he thought about it, the more he worked out a plan in his mind; everything was negotiable, especially when one person had something the other desperately wanted. He'd originally paid the tuition for Sue Ellen's sister to attend a private school as part of a negotiation package with Patricia, but she'd broken her side of the agreement, Sue Ellen was no longer living in her apartment and had more rules than ever, resulting in a breakdown in their privacy and relationship. Paying private school tuition for a child that wasn't even his wasn't ideal, but it was also not really hurting him financially; if Patricia wanted him to keep paying and wanted to keep ordering him around with ridiculous requests, then they would have to renegotiate their deal. In a way, the inopportune phone call was actually a good reminder about his powerful position.

To be continued…


	79. Reminders

**Austin, Texas**

"Talk to him, just talk to him. He really just may not realise how you feel", Sue Ellen went over and over the words in her head. Jack was probably right, JR wasn't exactly good at starting the conversation and talking about his feelings, and if she were completely honest with herself, neither was she. She probably didn't help the situation by passively sitting by and saying nothing, letting him think that everything was fine. They'd both missed out on normal love and emotion as children, both coming from families with deeper issues than the happy image they portrayed to the world; it wasn't easy for either of them to express how they really felt or deal with their own emotions in a healthy way. Sue Ellen was determined to change that though; she wanted them to get back to how they were in the beginning, happy and in love as well as connected more deeply than they were at the moment. It had taken her a week to finally decide to approach the subject, she was sick of dinners where they hardly spoke and when they did, it wasn't the same. She hated feeling that when he kissed her it was because he felt obligated to, not because he really wanted to. Their whole relationship was strained, probably caused by the never-ending marriage questions and JR's attitude toward the whole thing, as if he couldn't get away from the subject quick enough; but that wasn't totally to blame, at some point, they'd stopped sharing a real emotional relationship and she hated how that made her feel. They had a date on Thursday evening and she decided that she would broach the subject with him then; it was almost mid-December and she wanted to enjoy the holiday season, last year had been wonderful, they'd had so many romantic moments and she desperately wanted to feel like that again.

Returning home from a shopping trip, she stopped outside the front door, listening closely to the conversation; "you'll tell Sue Ellen that she can't see me anymore? I don't think you quite understand who holds the power in this agreement", JR was at her house and she had no idea why. She placed her shopping bags quietly on the front porch swing and pressed her ear to the door, wanting to hear the conversation but not wanting to make her presence known yet. Her mother said something, but she wasn't close enough or facing the door for Sue Ellen to hear exactly what it was. She heard JR though, "no, you listen to me. In case you've forgotten, I am the one who is paying Kristin's tuition and I am the one that is funding Sue Ellen's nice lifestyle, which I am sure you benefit from; I don't have any problem with those things, but let's be clear, I am the one that holds the power here. I love Sue Ellen and I want us to be happy and completely committed when we get engaged, but right now, it's quite difficult with the constant hovering, interfering and ridiculous rules. All it takes is one phone call and you lose everything. Don't doubt my love for Sue Ellen, that will never change, but be warned, you do not want to mess with me, because I will always win". Sue Ellen could almost feel the anger though the door; she had no idea what her mother had done, aside from her never-ending interference, but that had been going on from the moment they started dating, that wouldn't make JR react like this, it had to be something more. She predicted that JR was just about ready to leave and she really didn't want to be caught snooping; collecting her shopping bags and taking her keys out of her purse, she entered the house, loudly enough to make her presence known, but hopefully not obvious that she had been outside long enough to hear their fight.

"JR", she acted surprised, it wasn't too difficult, she had been surprised to hear his voice earlier, "what are you doing here?" JR was quick, he didn't want her to worry about his hostile relationship with Patricia, it would only upset her and their relationship didn't need any more distractions, "well, I know we're going to see The Nutcracker on Thursday, but I couldn't resist coming to see you a little before Thursday. I remembered that last year you were a little sad that you missed the tree lighting ceremony in Zilker Park, so I've come to take you to dinner. Then we'll go see the tree lighting and the trail of lights", he really did want to spend time with her, even if it wasn't quite the same as what they'd had before. It would be much easier for them to be happy together if everyone would just stop interfering in their lives. Sue Ellen looked over at her mother for confirmation that she could go, she knew that with dinner, the tree lighting and looking at the lights, they probably wouldn't be home by her new ten o'clock curfew. Reluctantly, Patricia nodded, realising that JR was right, he did hold the power and if she wanted to keep receiving the benefits, she had to stay on his good side, especially since he and Sue Ellen weren't married yet. "No later than midnight, I mean it", she directed her look at JR and he decided not to argue, he didn't want to upset Sue Ellen, though he did find it ironic that any man of his age would be taking orders about curfews from his date's mother, it was just so unlike anything he'd ever experienced. Excitedly, Sue Ellen ran up the stairs to change outfit, completely forgetting about the argument she'd overheard and the conversation she needed to have with JR. For tonight, all she wanted to do was enjoy the evening with her boyfriend, maybe things would sort themselves out and she wouldn't need to say anything, it was wishful thinking, but she didn't care.

To be continued…


	80. Separation?

**Dallas, Texas**

"Oh JR, that was wonderful", they walked hand in hand out of the theatre, "I'm glad you enjoyed it", he was, The Nutcracker really wasn't that bad, Sue Ellen loved the arts and if he was honest with himself, ballet wasn't that bad. He smiled at her and she hated that she still had that nagging feeling, that although things seemed ok between them right now, they still had a lot of issues in their relationship and she didn't know why. JR led her out of the building and handed the valet his parking ticket before surprising Sue Ellen with a kiss; there was no denying that he loved her, but the past few months had been tough. He partially blamed himself, there had been so many little things that had distracted him lately; Bobby, Ewing Oil, Sue Ellen, his father, his mother, other women, himself, everyone and everything. It all contributed to his uneasy feeling about his position of importance, or nonimportance, that though everything was better when he was in control, other people didn't always consult him before making decisions. It made it difficult for him to even think about committing to marriage when he wasn't sure about where he stood in life. He hoped that Sue Ellen understood his concerns and wasn't too upset by his hesitation; it wasn't just her, it was him, he liked to be clear about his success before he made a move. As he kissed Sue Ellen, he could tell that something was bothering her, it wasn't the same, she wasn't completely giving herself to him. "Is something wrong Sugar Plum?" he was concerned that he was losing her, he wanted her, but he wanted to wait; she smiled as she heard him refer to her as her favourite character in The Nutcracker, "it's nothing". Just as he was about to respond, the valet arrived with his car and distracted him from the conversation; something was clearly bothering her and he would find out what it was.

Sue Ellen was quiet during the short drive and JR wasn't sure what had happened, she had been so excited as they watched the ballet and afterward she had seemed happy, but then she changed, something was on her mind and he hated that she was keeping it a secret. They drove to The Adolphus, one of Dallas' oldest and finest hotels and Sue Ellen's mood improved; she loved the way JR was when he was romantic like this. The interior was gorgeous and especially stunning with the Christmas decorations placed around the building; it bothered her that she wasn't enjoying it the way she should have been because she was so worried about his answer to her question, the question she hadn't asked yet, but had been thinking about for weeks. They made their way toward The French Room and Sue Ellen tried to block out her negative thoughts, JR was acting mostly like his normal self again tonight, maybe she was overreacting. He was a busy man, and he didn't like imperfection, maybe he really was just waiting for the right time, the perfect time, maybe that was all it was and she was overthinking it. "We'll have the chef's tasting menu", he didn't feel like reading the menu and deciding what he wanted to eat, and he didn't want to waste time on that task, there were more important things on his mind right now. Sue Ellen smiled at the waiter as he took their order and left the table, it was a little late in the evening for her to be eating a full three-course meal, she would have been happy with a salad, but she didn't say anything, JR seemed distracted. "Thank you for this" she smiled and took his hand, trying to make an effort to be normal and relaxed, "I'd do anything to make you happy", he meant it, all he really wanted was their happiness, and he was working so hard to make things work in his favour and by association, hers too. Sue Ellen felt tears as he spoke, if he would do anything, then why hadn't he proposed yet? Why was she lonelier now than she had ever been before? She wasn't happy and it hurt her to hear him commit to making her happy but not actually do the one thing she wanted. JR noticed her tears and knew something was seriously wrong; "will you excuse me for just a moment", she got up and walked toward the bathroom. JR sighed, she obviously didn't want to voice her issues, so he'd do what he could to salvage the evening, though it was difficult to know what to avoid when he didn't know what the problem was.

"Thank you JR, the ballet was spectacular and dinner was wonderful", they stood in the doorway of her hotel room, she thought it was best to not stay at Southfork at the moment, the tension and questions were just too much for her. She opened her purse to find her room key and as she found it, JR took the opportunity to kiss her again, he was trying so hard to save the date, but it wasn't working, she was bothered by so much and one good date didn't fix it. JR pulled away, "ok, please darlin', you've got to tell me what is wrong, because I cannot keep trying to guess. I hate guessing, I like knowing all the facts and right now, I don't know where we stand", she looked into his eyes, he looked lost, "let's go inside and talk".

Entering the hotel room, she suddenly felt awkward, what if she was completely wrong and he really did have everything planned out. What if she messed everything up by questioning his commitment? JR cleared his throat and waited for her to start speaking, he didn't want to start the conversation, it had to come from her; "are you losing interest in me?" she took a deep breath and just asked, it was the easiest option. JR was surprised, "why would you say a thing like that?" he thought that he made his feelings for her clear, but she was still questioning him, so he obviously hadn't been clear enough. "Maybe you're losing interest in our relationship because I won't give you what you want; or maybe because I did give you part of what you want and now the challenge is gone. Maybe you're not interested in just having an average girlfriend; the appeal is gone now that I'm no longer Miss Texas. Maybe my mother was right, I'm getting old and unattractive", now she was just speaking her thoughts, not coherently or logically though. JR's head was spinning with her words; "maybe…" he couldn't take any more maybes, "stop"; she looked up at him, stunned and unsure of what to do. "Sue Ellen, you are the most important thing in my life", it was relatively true, of course Ewing Oil and his father's respect were hugely important, but in his personal life, he wanted Sue Ellen and it wouldn't hurt to tell her that she was special, "I love you, can't you see that? None of the things that you mentioned are true, and even if they were, they aren't things that would make me love you any less. Please, explain to me exactly why you feel the way that you do, because I don't understand". Sue Ellen took another deep breath, almost on the verge of tears and uttered one word, "marriage"; JR looked at her confused, "marriage?" Sue Ellen had to laugh a little, for an observant man, he sure was blind to the obvious problem. "Yes, marriage. I love you JR and you say that you love me, but I don't know what more I can do to make our relationship one that you consider marriage worthy. I totally understand that you're busy with Ewing Oil, but I like supporting you with your problems and lately, that hasn't been happening. I feel like you're shutting me out and maybe you're doing that because you are losing interest in me or our relationship, or… I don't know really. But it hurts me when you tell people that our relationship is great and that we'll get married at some point, but then you also say that you're waiting for the right time. After Thanksgiving…" she trailed off, she didn't want to give away too much, make herself too vulnerable, she already felt overexposed. "Thanksgiving", he whispered to himself, he had honestly been planning a proposal and it just wasn't the right time, he hadn't intentionally tried to make her feel uneasy about their relationship, "is that what you think? I'm so sorry, I didn't ever mean for you to feel my problems as your own. I have just been so preoccupied with work and then at home I have my parents, and you know, I never liked following direct orders. I never meant to hurt you or make you feel like you weren't enough, you are. I love you, and I have every intention of asking you to be my wife… when the time is right", he would never tell her the reason for why he was doubting his decision so much, he didn't want to hurt her feelings and some things really were better to keep to himself. All Sue Ellen could focus on was the end of his sentence, "when the time is right, when the time is right, when the time is right", the phrase repeated over and over in her mind; "JR, please, when is the right time? Because I don't know how much more I can take". He didn't have a real answer and paused, "I…", he always had an answer and was mad at himself for letting his words fail him. "I think that answers the question", she sadly acknowledged that there was no certain date and she didn't know whether she could deal with that uncertainty. "JR, I'm very tired, I'd like to go to bed now", he took her hint and walked toward the door, it wasn't worth fighting about, she was upset and anything he said now would just be taken the wrong way, "goodnight sugar", he kissed her on the cheek and left the room. She closed the door behind him and leaned back against it, letting the tears fall freely down her cheeks.

To be continued…


	81. Take Flight

**Dallas, Texas**

It was Friday morning and Sue Ellen was supposed to be staying in Dallas until Sunday; JR had only realised that she'd changed her mind when his mother had asked him at breakfast whether everything was ok? Sue Ellen had cancelled the shopping trip with Miss Ellie and she was concerned about their relationship; it was so unlike Sue Ellen to cancel plans on the day. JR had been very surprised when Miss Ellie mentioned it; he had thought that they could talk through their problems this evening, after he returned from work and they had spent a little bit of time away from each other; Sue Ellen obviously had other ideas. Making a quick excuse with his father about why he would be late to work, he left Southfork in search of Sue Ellen, hoping that it wasn't too late. "I'm sorry Mr Ewing, Miss Shepard already checked out", JR nodded at the hotel receptionist's words and realised that the situation between he and Sue Ellen may be more serious than he'd thought. "Did she say where she was going?" he needed to know whether she was still in Dallas or not, "I'm sorry sir, I'm not sure, you could ask the doorman though, she may have taken a taxi", JR nodded and thanked the woman before walking toward the doorman. After handing the man a few hundred-dollar notes, he finally got an answer, "Dallas Love Field, about an hour ago"; he was pleased, the airport was only about twenty minutes away and she couldn't have gotten a flight out that early, if he left now, he'd be able to catch her.

"One ticket" he gruffly spoke the words, not thinking about anything other than getting airside, "certainly sir, where is your destination today?" he realised that he hadn't been very specific, "Austin, as soon as possible", the check-in agent printed his ticket and he quickly walked toward the passenger gate, hoping that she was still there. He looked at his ticket and saw that he was booked on the flight to Austin scheduled to leave in just twenty minutes, if Sue Ellen were still here, they would be on the same flight and she would be waiting at gate three. Reading the ticket, he noticed the price of the flight, he usually flew the Ewing jet short distances and his secretary booked any longer flights for him, so he never really thought about the price of an airline ticket; although having been purchased very last minute, it was still a lot cheaper than he expected. Sue Ellen sat facing a window, she hated the sneaky way that she was leaving Dallas, but she didn't feel like she had much of a choice. Right now, she was confused more than anything else; she had no idea how she was supposed to feel. It wasn't that their discussion the previous night had caused her to love him any less, but she wasn't sure that he returned the same feelings that she had. She wanted him to make the decision because he wanted to, but if she pushed it any further, it would either make him resent her or give in and ask because he felt he had to; neither of those options were what she wanted. He spotted her sitting alone and began to approach her, "flight DAL217 to Austin is now boarding at gate three; passengers in rows fifteen through twenty-three please make your way to the boarding gate". He lost sight of her as the crowds of people stood and lined up to board the plane, and when he finally did see her, she was handing her boarding pass to the flight attendant before she walked into the jet bridge and disappeared from his view. "Damn", it took him a second to realise that he had a ticket, he hadn't intended to actually use it, but he was going to have to; he joined the line and waited, getting more frustrated by the minute, he usually never flew coach and never had to line up. "Please fasten your seatbelts as we prepare for take-off", he did as the stewardess said and hoped that they would leave soon. He now realised why his ticket was so cheap and why he never flew coach, he was crammed into a small middle seat, he couldn't wait for the aircraft to be a safe altitude for him to stand up and go find Sue Ellen.

Sue Ellen sat silently and looked out the window as the plane ascended and levelled; she had packed her bags in a hurry and not thought about packing a book or magazine in her carry-on luggage, so the only thing she had to entertain her were her thoughts. "Hello darlin'", she heard his voice and assumed that she must have been daydreaming, but as she turned, he was there, standing in the aisle looking directly at her. "I must be imagining things; JR Ewing wouldn't be caught dead flying coach", she smirked, sure that she really was just hallucinating. "Excuse me ma'am, may I swap seats with you, the lady and I need to talk", he directed his attention at the older woman seated next to Sue Ellen, she agreed and he handed her his boarding pass as well as some money to sweeten the deal and prevent her from coming back. The third seat in her row was empty and he sat down in the aisle seat, keeping a little distance between them for now; "what are you doing here JR?" she sighed, he probably regretted pausing with his answer last night, but his presence now didn't make up for the fact that he had had those thoughts and hesitations. In her mind, his pause when asked when the right time to marry her was, meant that he didn't know and wasn't planning anything, that he was completely content to just exist as they had been; she didn't feel the same way and she didn't like being the one with the stronger emotions. "You didn't give me much time to explain myself last night, and then this morning I find out from my mother that you left Dallas, so naturally I had to come and make sure you weren't running away from me", he grinned as he finished speaking, she was running, but he was quick and able to catch up. She smiled to herself, briefly hoping that he had changed his mind and he was ready to marry her, but her rational mind quickly kicked in, realising that if he had changed his mind, it was because she had forced him to or he'd given up on fighting, neither option was worthy of the great JR Ewing.

He spent the rest of the hour-long flight explaining all of the things he loved about her and their relationship, but never really saying why he was so hesitant to commit; she was flattered by his compliments, but she definitely noticed his avoidance of any real explanation. "Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to begin our descent into Austin, please fasten your seatbelts, make sure your seats and tray tables are in the upright position and prepare for landing"; JR buckled his seatbelt and hoped that she believed him, and that everything was right in their relationship again. She looked at him, his face looked hopeful, but she still didn't know whether she could live with such uncertainty; "JR, I… I need time to think", his face dropped at her words, "it's not really you, it's mostly me. I'm sorry; I just think I need a little space and time by myself. I don't know how I feel about what you're saying, and I need time to figure out how I do feel". He was shocked, he never thought that she would be the one to say that she needed space from him, he always had it the other way around with women, though Sue Ellen was definitely different to most women he knew. "I…ok. Whatever you need", he gave in, deciding that it was better for her to return to him on her own than for him to force himself on her; "I'm not saying we're broken up, or that I don't love you. I promise, it's just for a little while", she tried to lessen the effect the little break would have on their relationship. The plane landed and Sue Ellen returned home; JR took a taxi to a private airfield before catching the Ewing jet back to Dallas, using the time alone to think about their relationship and the strange stage they were in right now; already planning a way to get her to return to him.

To be continued…


	82. Christmas

**Dallas, Texas**

"Would you call Miss Shepard in Austin please", JR returned to the office from a late meeting and gave his secretary the orders to call Sue Ellen, it had been a week and he still didn't like the idea of giving her space, it wasn't like the distance between them was actually helping anything. He wanted her, she wanted him, to him it seemed simple; they should stay in a relationship and when the time was right, he would propose. He was on the verge of asking, but had yet to go through with his decision, and her request for space wasn't helping; he had to get her back before she completely changed her mind. His intercom buzzed and he picked up the phone, "I'm sorry Mr Ewing, Miss Shepard isn't home", JR sighed, she was either spending a lot of time out of the house, or she was avoiding his calls, "thank you", he hung up and went back to work.

"I'm going home, will you be close behind?" Jock stood in the doorway of JR's office and informed him that he was leaving, though he was really just there to check up on him and make sure that he was still working, he couldn't have JR distracted right now. "Yes sir, there are a few things I have to finish here, but I'll be home for dinner"; the two men said their goodbyes and Jock left. "JR?" Julie knocked on the door, knowing that JR was vulnerable right now and it was the perfect opportunity for her to 'comfort' him; JR looked up, Julie had gotten a new haircut or something, he didn't quite know, but whatever it was, she looked fantastic. "We're the only two left here; I was just about to leave, but I can stay if you need me", she entered his office and closed the door behind her, knowing that if she were close enough to him, he wouldn't be able to resist. JR knew it was a bad idea, with Julie, it was both personal and business, it wasn't right; at least with the professionals he paid, it was fairly anonymous and there was no personal connection or expectations. "You look tense, I could give you a massage", she walked closer to his desk and stood behind his chair, whispering in his ear, she spoke again, "I know you like my technique". JR let out a sigh, all the memories of their former relationship coming back to him; she was skilled, in more ways than one. He knew it wasn't right, but he and Sue Ellen weren't really together, and she'd never do what Julie was about to do; besides, she deserved it, she was ignoring his attempts at communication, he couldn't be blamed for turning to other women. "There is something you could do for me", his breathing became heavier as she kissed his neck. She made her way back to his front, kissing him while unbuttoning his shirt and pants; "it would be my pleasure", she kneeled and smirked, JR Ewing was so predictable, and she loved it.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen walked through the grounds of the UMLAUF Sculpture Garden, it was a nice, quiet walk, perfect for thinking and reflecting. She and Clint had spent a lot of time together there, but she also had some memories with JR; mostly she just enjoyed the general atmosphere though. It was winter and it was cold, well, cold for Texas anyway; she bought a cup of coffee from a street vendor and walked through the park, thinking, but not thinking. She was relaxed and happy; for the first time in a long time, she wasn't concerned about anything, the break she and JR were taking wasn't permanent, it was temporary, she needed this time to reconfirm her thoughts. She loved JR, and she wanted to be with him, but she really wanted to be his wife, she wanted to spend her life with him, support him, and be the mother of his children. She hoped that their time apart would lead him to the same conclusion, because anything else would be devastating. Across the park, she spotted a couple that reminded her of she and JR; they were so happy and in love, it was obvious to anyone observing them. For a moment she was jealous, remembering all the good times that they had had last year; the holiday season had brought out JR's romantic side and she had fallen more and more deeply in love with him every day. Wiping away a tear that fell from her eye, she reminded herself that their distance was temporary and that she would soon have that kind of love in her own life again.

"Merry Christmas mama", Sue Ellen handed her mother a large wrapped box and Patricia smiled widely, knowing that it would be something expensive and beautiful. Though Sue Ellen hadn't explained exactly why they were spending Christmas in Austin rather than Dallas, she knew not to say anything just yet, at least not until after she reaped the rewards of her daughter's future marriage; "oh, it's lovely. Thank you dear", Patricia examined the details of the ornate silver jewellery box. "I'm glad you like it, it's an antique", Sue Ellen knew that the gift would buy her a few more days of silence before her mother started questioning why she and JR had barely seen each other over the past few weeks. "What about me?" Kristin sulked, she would have preferred all the attention on he, but she knew that wasn't realistic; Sue Ellen refrained from rolling her eyes, but inside, she sighed, her sister was always so impatient and whiny. "I didn't forget about you, don't worry. Here, I hope you like it", she smiled and handed her sister the large box and watched as Kristin's face lit up at the size of the present. "Is this the one from the TV? I love it, thank you Sue Ellen... Wow, combined with my new talking Barbie and Stacey dolls, the new dresses I got and the pretty gold necklace, Lisa and Jennifer are going to be so jealous", Sue Ellen was happy that Kristin seemed to be enjoying her new Easy-Bake Oven, even if it was only because the girls at school would be jealous. "There's one more gift", Kristin excitedly noticed the red and gold wrapped box and hoped that it was for her; "it's for you Sue Ellen", Patricia handed her daughter the box and wondered who it was from, she didn't recognise the gift-wrap. Kristin's face dropped, of course the mystery gift was for Sue Ellen, Sue Ellen always got the good things. Sue Ellen gasped as she opened the box, "oh JR" she whispered to herself as she folded back the tissue paper and revealed the beautiful glass sculpture. She knew that it was expensive, but the cost wasn't what had caused her reaction; the sculpture was one that she had admired months ago in an art gallery in Houston; she was sure that JR had forgotten, but she had been proven wrong. She had thought that the time alone would give her time to think, but all of a sudden her mood changed, she was lonely and she didn't want anything other than to be with JR, as his girlfriend, wife or anything else, she didn't care, she missed him and she didn't want their relationship to be over.

To be continued…


	83. Beating the January Blues

**Dallas, Texas**

"I'm not ready yet… I need more time to think…" the words repeated in his mind and he was beginning to understand exactly how she had felt the past few months; his own words were now being said back to him, except he was no longer in control. She had made the first move and called him just after Christmas to thank him for his lovely gift and he had tried to prolong their conversation; he had thought that she was finally ready to resume their relationship, but she had quickly made it clear that she still needed time. It was almost the end of January and she was still talking about time. At first, he had tried to make the most of his new freedom, but that quickly lost its appeal, mostly because it wasn't his decision to separate for a while and he wasn't really enjoying the time apart, though it was giving him a fresh perspective on things. In the meantime, he had Julie, she was willing to do almost anything he wanted, whether it be physical or just listening to him rant about his problems, though he had quickly realised that Julie and Sue Ellen were not interchangeable and were not the same. During their time apart, he had come to understand that the emotional side of Sue Ellen appealed to him as much as the physical side, there was so much about Sue Ellen that he loved, and he wasn't willing to let her go.

He thought about something his mama had told him almost a year ago, when everyone was first pressuring them to get married; she had told him "marriage is a long, hard, difficult road. But, it's also wonderful". At the time, he wasn't sure that he wanted anything hard or difficult, he was content to just have fun and enjoy events in his personal life as they came, it was so different to his work life where he was constantly having to think ten steps ahead of everyone. He didn't think he wanted to have to work hard at his relationship; what was the point of being in a relationship if it was all hard work? It had taken a long time, but he finally understood, he was ready to start trying. "Yes, the next twelve days…no, no cards apart from this one tomorrow. I will be back in ten days with further instructions… thankyou", he paid the florist and left, quietly thinking to himself; if it had worked before, it would surely work now.

**Austin, Texas**

'_Austin's Whirlwind Romance' _Patricia read the morning newspaper as she drank her coffee, skipping forward to the society pages to catch any gossip she may have missed, her attention caught by the half-page story featuring a large picture of very familiar looking man and a less familiar woman. _'Sorry ladies, there's one less eligible bachelor in town today as Mr William 'Billy' Frampton III and his girlfriend of five months Miss Charlotte-Ann Richmond announced their engagement last night at the annual Daughters of the Alamo Midwinter Charity Ball…'_, she let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. Rereading the story, she took another deep breath, "Sue Ellen Shepard!"

Sue Ellen brushed her hair and dressed in her running clothes, intending to get in a little exercise before she had to eat breakfast with her family. "Sue Ellen Shepard!" she cringed as she heard her mother's voice, she could hear the anger and demand and knew that it was not going to be a pleasant morning like she had hoped. Checking her appearance one last time, she exited her bedroom and made her way downstairs.

"I don't think you quite understand; you aren't getting any younger, you're already past your social circle prime and the list of eligible men is getting smaller every day. Billy Frampton was perfect; he came from a very wealthy, very respectable family, he was very good to us, and he adored you. I will never understand why you had to be so difficult, but I accepted it, because you promised me that JR Ewing was the right man for you. Look where that got you", she shook her head and continued to speak. "I haven't asked lately, but I have eyes. I haven't seen JR in weeks, so I take it that my assumption is correct, you two are no longer an item", Sue Ellen didn't say anything, she really didn't want to explain how she and JR were right now. "I am very, very disappointed. This is going to take a long time to reverse; you'll be lucky if I can get you a husband under thirty-five"; Sue Ellen wasn't sure how much more she could take, she'd probably burst into tears if her mother kept talking like this. "Well… what have you got to say for yourself?" Patricia pressed her daughter for answers, she needed to know that it wasn't over between she and JR, he was their final good option and she was enjoying the benefits of the Ewing money already, she wasn't ready to give that up. "I…" Sue Ellen began to speak just as she heard the doorbell, she sighed in relief, "I'll get the door", she was glad, she'd been saved by the bell, she didn't even care if it was a salesman or some other annoying, unwanted guest, she was just happy to get away from the conversation with her mother.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR looked at his watch again, ten in the morning; the florist should have delivered the single yellow rose by now. He didn't expect her to call him, he had even said on the card that he was giving her time to think, so he didn't know why he was so anxious right now. He assumed that he was just nervous about her reaction, hoping that she took it as a compliment and nothing else; he really didn't have an ulterior motive, not today anyway.

"I've missed this", Julie sat across the table from him at the Cattlemen's Club, she looked beautiful and he was almost starting to rethink the reason why he'd brought her to lunch, "mm?" he wasn't sure what she was referring to, but he was sure that she wouldn't be happy at the end of the meal. "This, us, you, me, out in public. Of course, I love our little private rendezvous, but I miss just having meals together, or going shopping, or even just walking down the street. I'm so happy right now". JR immediately felt a pain, his stomach dropping, his body telling him that he needed to just say it, "actually, that's what I've been meaning to talk to you about, that's why we're here…" Julie's face dropped as he began to speak and she was holding back tears by the time he finished. How could one woman have so much power over him? Sue Ellen wasn't even in the same city and she was controlling his thoughts and actions; Sue Ellen Shepard was the worst thing to happen to JR Ewing in a long time, except no one saw it but her. She hated her, but no one would understand, even if she tried to explain it; Sue Ellen had everyone brainwashed and she couldn't do anything to stop it.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: I'd just like to thank everyone who is consistently reading and reviewing the story :)**


	84. Nine Yellow Roses

**Austin, Texas**

"Delivery for Miss Sue Ellen Shepard", Patricia answered the door and accepted the flowers, counting them as she had done each morning for the past week, each day adding one more rose to the bouquet. "Nine yellow roses", she handed the flowers to Sue Ellen with a smile; Patricia was happy that JR seemed to be making a romantic effort again and that it was having the desired effect, she could tell that Sue Ellen was enjoying the small display of affection and it wouldn't be long before they solved whatever problems they were having. Sue Ellen smiled to herself as she took the flowers and put them in a vase; JR was good at pursuing and romancing women and she very much enjoyed being pursued romantically, they were a perfect match. In the back of her mind though, she knew that romance wasn't the solution to all of their problems and wouldn't actually make their relationship any better in the long run. She was still lonely and lost, her only friends were mere acquaintances and her life was full of meaningless activities, especially when she had no one to share her accomplishments with at the end of the day. What use was buying a new dress if she had no one to compliment her appearance? Or beating her personal best five mile run time if she had no one to congratulate her? Of course, she knew people and she got the social interaction that she needed to function, but they weren't her friends and they weren't really people she cared about; what she wanted was a husband and a family, people who really cared about her; unfortunately, what she had instead was a lonely, unimportant life. "I wonder how long JR will keep sending flowers?" Patricia interrupted her thoughts and Sue Ellen smiled, she knew that JR was capable of sending flowers indefinitely, he'd proven that when he was first courting her. "I really think it's time to call him, a man won't wait forever"; her stomach dropped as she heard the words, although she was enjoying the attention, she wasn't sure she was actually ready to talk about their problems. Alternatively, maybe it wasn't the actual conversation, but the consequences of the conversation. She was afraid of the argument that would follow if he hadn't changed his way of thinking, because she knew she hadn't changed hers and she wouldn't; so they would probably end up in the same disagreement that they were currently in, but possibly with worse consequences. She wasn't ready for the finality of a break-up. "Sue Ellen?" Patricia could see that her daughter was not fully present in their conversation, "uh yes mama, I'll call after breakfast", she was dreading a possible negative conversation, but hoped that she was just being paranoid. After all, JR had been the one to start the whole thing again; he had to know that she would be taken in by the romantic ideal, and he knew exactly what she wanted; if he was making moves again, something had to have changed with him.

**Dallas, Texas**

"Grandma?" Miss Ellie looked down at Lucy as they waved goodbye to the helicopter, she knew exactly what the next sentence was and still had no real answer, well not one that would please her young granddaughter. "Yes Lucy?" she began to walk them toward the house, hoping that by the time Lucy asked and was told why, they would be in her bedroom and she could distract her with the task of gathering her school books. Lucy pouted and began to speak, using her whiniest and most childish voice, not exactly endearing her point; "I want to go hunting and camping with granddaddy too, it's not fair that I'm not allowed to. I know how to shoot a gun, granddaddy showed me, and I know all the survival skills, we learned them in girl scouts. I'm just as good as uncle Bobby at reading a map, we learned that in geography. It's not fair, just because uncle JR says I'm too little, what does he know?" Miss Ellie knew that although Lucy was making some slightly valid points, there was a whole lot more to the situation than just JR saying no. "Now come on Lucy, you know that's not fair to JR, he wasn't the one that made the decision, and he isn't the only one that thinks the same thing. I happen to agree with your granddaddy and uncles; you are much too young and too precious to be going off into the woods hunting. Besides, camping is dirty, smelly, and uncomfortable, you would hate it after a while. I would miss you too, Southfork is a big house and it gets awfully lonely here all by myself", she smiled, hoping to convince Lucy that she didn't actually want to go camping. Lucy would have to get used to the idea of being left out of certain events, Jock was a man's man, and although he loved his granddaughter, there was no way she was ever going to be allowed to go camping or to other traditionally masculine events with the Ewing men. Jock didn't mind taking her to see cattle auctions, riding horses or even doing some other manly things with her, but it was a different thing when it was grandfather, granddaughter bonding time compared to when it was serious men's business, the two just didn't really mix. "Now, gather your books, you're going to be late for school", Miss Ellie watched her pack a few books into her backpack and could see Lucy's mind working. Lucy was always a thinker, even when she didn't say things aloud, she was always analysing them, she reminded Miss Ellie a little bit of a young JR in that way. 'This is why we need Sue Ellen, she makes uncle JR all happy, which is always good for me, she's really pretty and fun, and she's grandma's friend', Lucy's thoughts moved to Sue Ellen, wishing that she would just come back. Miss Ellie was about to ask what Lucy was thinking, but before she had the chance to, Teresa knocked on the door and informed them that one of the ranch hands was downstairs waiting for Lucy.

**Haleyville, Arkansas**

"This was a great idea, just what we need", Jock slapped his sons on the back as they checked into the Haleyville Hotel, "ok, ten minutes should be enough, go upstairs, change clothes and get your guns, I wanna shoot something this afternoon". JR had grumbled a little at the impromptu hunting trip, mostly because it was still winter and he didn't want to sleep in a cold, wet tent; but Jock had insisted that they needed Ewing bonding time and Bobby was only home for a few days, it was the perfect opportunity for a long weekend. JR had agreed, as long as they stayed in proper accommodation and were home by Sunday evening, he had a personal delivery to make on Monday morning and he was not going to miss that, not even for the opportunity to bond over something other than oil or money; for once, he had somewhere much more important to be.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen waited until Patricia left to take Kristin to school, finally having the house to herself, she phoned Southfork before realising that JR actually worked for a living and it was only a Friday, if she wanted to speak to him, she probably should have called Ewing Oil. "Southfork Ranch", Sue Ellen panicked as Miss Ellie answered the phone, it was too late to hang up now, "Hello Miss Ellie, it's Sue Ellen". Miss Ellie was surprised, she had been left with the impression that JR had really messed things up between he and Sue Ellen, no doubt because he was so hesitant to move forward with their relationship, but she hadn't expected Sue Ellen to call the ranch this morning, or at all really. "Sue Ellen, how nice to hear from you. Are you well? Everyone has been missing you around here; I really wish you would come for a visit sometime. I know that JR would like that very much, I don't know what happened between you two, but I'm sure you can work it out". She realised she was probably coming on too strong, she hadn't seen Sue Ellen in weeks and she had no idea what actually happened between them, but she really did miss her, and she couldn't stop herself from expressing it. Sue Ellen was flattered by the depth of interest that Miss Ellie showed, she really did seem to care; "I'm just fine Miss Ellie, and I miss everyone too. Southfork really was becoming like a second home to me", she and Miss Ellie talked for a few minutes, never going too in-depth, but catching up enough for Miss Ellie to realise that Sue Ellen was not as happy as she was pretending to be. Sue Ellen got a little distracted by their conversation, but quickly remembered why she called, "I'm terribly sorry Miss Ellie, for a moment I forgot what day it was. I was actually calling to speak to JR, but I realise now that I made a silly mistake, JR will be at work now". Miss Ellie smiled, if JR wasn't going to be the one to fix their relationship, then at least Sue Ellen was taking the initiative, she informed Sue Ellen of the impromptu hunting trip and JR's current unavailability, but that she would tell him that she called when he returned. The two women said their goodbyes and ended the call, Sue Ellen hadn't realised it, but she missed so much more than just JR, she missed the way her life was when she was with him. She looked forward to Sunday evening, hoping that when JR got the message, he would call her back; she was ready to talk now.

To be continued…


	85. Delivery

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen put on her nightgown and got ready for bed; she had been on edge all day, always waiting and expecting JR to call, but he never did; she assumed that Miss Ellie would have told JR that she had called, and she hoped that she had just forgotten, not that JR was purposely ignoring her. She was a little nervous, but also excited, the flowers were growing in number and it felt an awful lot like they were really leading up to something special and important. Although she was tired, she found it difficult to get her mind to rest, something was definitely going on, she just didn't know what it was, and that bothered her.

Across town, JR checked into his suite at the Driskill Hotel, there was something lucky about this room and he hoped that that luck wasn't coming to an end anytime soon. He was exhausted, the hunting trip had been anything but relaxing, he just wasn't an outdoorsman the same way his father and brother were. He showered and changed into his pajamas before getting into bed and going to sleep, he wanted to be rested before he saw her in the morning; he hadn't been planning on being this tired before he did see her, the hunting trip had been enjoyable enough, but the timing wasn't great.

**Dallas, Texas**

"Why is it that boy is never here when I need him?" Jock complained to his wife as they sat at the breakfast table, the table looked even emptier than usual with just the two of them, "and where's Lucy? That girl needs to eat soon or else she'll be going to school hungry; though with these overcooked eggs, I can't blame her for skipping breakfast", he was mostly just in a mood and there wasn't anything anyone could do about it. "Lucy will be down in just a minute, and as for JR, he said it was important and I believe him, I'm sure he'll be back in no time", Miss Ellie smiled to herself, knowing that JR's little trip to Austin wasn't a coincidence. He was there to see Sue Ellen, and by the way Sue Ellen had called looking for him earlier in the week, she had no doubt that they were about to fix their problems. "Mm, we'll he'd better be, or else he'll be working overtime. The oil business waits for no man, I need him here, not off in Austin doing whatever it is that he's doing", Ellie would have laughed if her husband weren't so serious. He obviously hadn't connected the dots and she wasn't going to say anything about it now, but she was sure that he wouldn't be so upset about the Austin trip when he heard the news about the Shepard-Ewing reconciliation.

**Austin, Texas**

His body clock never failed him, no matter how tired he had been when he went to bed; he always awoke at the same time. He checked his appearance one final time before he left the hotel, stopping at the florist before directing the chauffeur to Sue Ellen's house. He was nervous, but he wasn't sure why, this was what she wanted, and what he now realised that he wanted. It had taken him months, but he finally understood why she was frustrated and why she had suggested space. He had been sceptical at first, but the little break in their relationship had clarified a few things for him; he wasn't happy to live the life of a bachelor when he had tasted the life of a man in love. It just wasn't the same to wake up in the morning alone or next to any random girl, he wanted Sue Ellen, and he was prepared to do anything it took to get her.

Sue Ellen awoke to the sound of another one of Kristin's temper tantrums, from what she could hear, it was something about hairbrushes, ponytails and pleated skirts, she wasn't really paying attention and she didn't really care, but she did know that she wasn't going to get any more sleep this morning. She looked outside, trying to determine the temperature and which activity she would do today, she had a tennis lesson later on, but it was still early and she didn't enjoy sitting around doing nothing, it was so dull. It was mornings like these that she missed college and the way her life had been then; she was never bored in college, always too busy to even think about the concept of boredom, but now, she moved from activity to activity but never really had a focus. She wished that she had held her ground a little more with JR when he had asked her to stop modelling, because at least with that, she had something to spend her days doing, and she had a reason to motivate her to stay in shape. Lately she had begun to wonder exactly what the point of everything was, she had no job, no boyfriend, hardly any friends and no motivation or reason to really do anything; the flowers had changed her way of thinking, but had yet to actually lead anywhere. It was a sunny day, and she decided that running would be a good activity, it was always enjoyable and she got a small sense of accomplishment from running.

The limousine drove past the Shepard home, seeing Patricia's car in the driveway and knowing that Kristin's school started at nine, he decided to wait a few minutes before approaching. JR looked out the window as the chauffeur took a leisurely drive around the neighbourhood to kill some time; just ahead of them was a tall woman, jogging on the footpath before entering a local park, he could only see her from behind, but he knew it was Sue Ellen. "Fine, fine woman", he mumbled to himself, she sure did have a way of making simple activities look sensual and appealing. The limousine turned down a street going in the opposite direction and he was annoyed that he lost sight of her; he ordered the driver to take him somewhere where he could get a cup of coffee, this was probably going to be a longer morning than he had expected. If he knew Sue Ellen, she would be embarrassed if he showed up on her doorstep straight after her workout, even if he told her that she looked good, she would never believe him; it was better for him to just wait for her to finish her exercise, shower and then hopefully greet him with a smile.

Blow-drying her hair, she vaguely heard the sound of the doorbell; luckily, she was done now, with her hair dry and styled, she made her way downstairs to answer the door, realising as she walked that the flowers were usually delivered about this time. She'd expected Ed, the deliveryman that had delivered the yellow roses each morning for the past eleven days, but instead, as she opened the door, she was greeted by a man dressed in a business suit, cowboy boots and a signature Stetson hat, although his face was covered by the bouquet of yellow roses, she knew exactly who it was. "JR!" she couldn't help but throw her arms around him, almost squishing the roses between them as they embraced; luckily, JR was quick to react, moving the flowers into one hand and out of the way as she hugged him. "Hello darlin'. May I come in?" he grinned, there was no way she was disappointed or upset, she was exactly where he wanted her and that was just perfect.

To be continued…


	86. Nervous Excitement

**Austin, Texas**

It had only been a brief meeting, but in that small amount of time, her whole outlook changed, JR seemed different and for the first time in a long time, she had hope that things really were changing for the better. Sue Ellen styled her hair and put on the red, silk evening gown that had been delivered to her on Tuesday morning, in place of the usual yellow roses; next, she opened the safe in her mother's bedroom and took the three boxes that had been delivered each morning this week, a new piece of jewellery each day. JR was planning something, she could tell, all the gifts were leading up to something more than just a Valentine's Day dinner, and she hoped that it was exactly what she thought it was. She caught herself thinking ahead again, and scolded herself for overanalysing his actions; it would only lead to disappointment if she built it up in her head and then realised that she was wrong. "Sue Ellen, the limousine is here", Patricia eagerly rushed into the room, things were finally working out exactly the way she wanted them. She'd had a surprise visit from Mr JR Ewing earlier in the week, he was planning to propose and wanted her permission, it wasn't something she was ever going to say no to, her daughter's hopes of finding a wealthy man were almost gone. JR Ewing would have to do, especially now that Billy Frampton was engaged to another woman; but he did have his own advantages and he had served their family well so far, JR Ewing would make a fine husband. "I'm ready mama", she checked her appearance one last time before collecting her small clutch purse and walking downstairs.

The Ewing jet was one experience she had missed more than she realised, it was always so much more exciting and enjoyable than flying commercially; the plane left just as the sun was setting, giving Sue Ellen the most beautiful view of Austin from above. Looking out the window, she was taken back to Monday morning, JR had arrived on her doorstep at just the right time, she had been ecstatic and even happier when he'd alluded to his change in attitude about the direction of their relationship. Being JR Ewing, he never really said it aloud, but she knew that something was different; something had to have changed for him to be there in Austin asking her on a date after so much time apart. The hour-long flight passed a lot more quickly than she remembered, but she didn't mind, this was just the beginning of the evening; exiting the jet, she expected to see JR waiting for her, but instead, she was met by a chauffeur and a limousine, with no sign of JR yet.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR paced back and forth, waiting was a lot more difficult than he'd thought it would be, maybe he should have met her at the airport, that way, she would be with him already. His stomach was churning in a way he hadn't felt in a long time, and he felt like the small box in his jacket pocket was burning a hole in the lining, it wasn't something he was enjoying. He took another drink, bourbon, just enough to calm him, he was saving the champagne for later in the evening, the two drinks were quite different in their effects and also their meanings, he didn't want to start drinking champagne alone, that wouldn't be a good start to the evening. Just as he thought he was about to go crazy with anticipation, he saw the lights of a limousine approaching, it was go time.

Sue Ellen realised that she really didn't know much at all about JR's plan, she had been surprised with the limousine at the airport and had been wrong about their destination. She had guessed by the driving direction, that she was heading to Southfork, but the limo had driven straight past the large, white house and front gate, continuing down the stretch of countryside road before making a turn onto a gravel road, away from any streetlights or houses. She had absolutely no idea where she was, but she wasn't worried, JR always planned his surprises well and she trusted his judgement. The car stopped and she waited, looking out the window on the opposite side to where she was seated, she realised that there was a white structure in the distance, it was circular and reminded her of a gazebo. As her eyes adjusted to the contrast of light coming from the structure and the darkness of her surroundings, she realised that it was actually a medium sized marquee tent. It was similar to what one would see at a garden party or charity event, not big enough for hundreds or even tens of people, but exactly the right size for just the two of them. The excitement she had felt earlier increased as the door opened and JR stood before her, dressed in a tuxedo and looking even more handsome than she remembered him; extending an arm to help her out of the limousine, she felt her heart beating, everything was already so romantic and the night was just beginning.

In the distance, a loud clap of thunder sounded, unnoticed by either JR or Sue Ellen as they danced in the small corner of the tent where a dancefloor had been installed. Sue Ellen sighed in contentment as JR tightened his grip on her waist, at this moment, she was happier than she had been in months and nothing could have bothered her. JR had opted for a record player instead of a string quartet, and only one waiter to serve them dinner; he wanted the evening to be about them, with no distractions and no witnesses to his possible emotional state when he finally asked her the question. The song ended and JR suggested they sit down for dinner; "JR?" Sue Ellen had almost forgotten, but as they approached the table, she looked around the tent, straight out at darkness, "yes?" he was almost afraid she was going to ask why he was doing all of this, but she surprised him with a much less serious question. "Where exactly are we?" she felt a little silly asking the question, it was almost irrelevant right now, but her curiosity was increasing with the little hints of nature around them and she had to know. JR sighed in relief before turning the question back on her, "where do you think we are?" She could see that it wasn't going to be as easy as just answering the question, nothing ever was with JR. "Well, the limousine drove past the main Southfork house and onto a gravel road, and I can hear the slight sound of water in the distance, but other than that, I'm not sure. If I were to guess, I'd say we're still somewhere on Southfork land, but the actual location is escaping me", JR smiled, she wasn't that far off the mark, "you're right, we are on Southfork land, and there is water near us. So, one more hint and I'm sure you'll guess; do you remember the first time we said I love you to each other?" Sue Ellen smiled widely as she remembered that day, "…the pond", she whispered, so far into the memory that it wasn't really an answer toward him, but more toward herself. "Your steak Mr Ewing, Miss Shepard", the moment was interrupted by the waiter, "thank you", they both responded before switching conversation topics and starting to eat.

To be continued…


	87. Texas Rain

**Dallas, Texas**

They took a break between their main meal and dessert, using the time to dance and really just be close to each other. Sue Ellen jumped as a clap of thunder sounded in the distance, this time closer to their location, but still not near enough to affect their evening, "it's ok, I checked the weather forecast earlier, we're set for a fine night. Nothing to worry about", in all honesty, he was a little worried, hoping that wherever the storm was, it was drifting away from them, not toward them; he didn't want to worry her with his thoughts though. The lone waiter placed two plates on the table before leaving the room again; "Chocolate Crocante de Cajeta", JR emphasised each word and Sue Ellen looked up, "I'm impressed, I didn't know you spoke Spanish", she grinned, she was pretty sure that he didn't speak Spanish and had been practicing the words to show off. JR laughed, "I don't, but this dessert is special to me and I wanted to share it with you. Before Teresa worked for us, we had another maid, her name was Maria, each year on my birthday she'd make this dessert, it was special, only ever on my birthday, never for Bobby or Gary's birthdays or any other occasion. Then, when I was about seventeen or so, she left us; I know I shouldn't have really cared, it's such a small thing when you think about it, but I always missed having it on my birthday. We had another maid after Maria, her name was Gloria, but she was never really a very good cook, I'm not sure why mama hired her. Then, a few years ago, Teresa came to work for us, and no disrespect to my mama, but Teresa is an excellent cook. I described exactly what I wanted and she immediately knew what I was talking about; I asked her to make this for tonight because I wanted to share something special to me, with you". He looked her in the eye as he finished speaking and she was touched by his story, it was so much more than just a delicious dessert, "oh JR", she couldn't help but stand and walk over to his side of the table, kissing him as words couldn't express how much she enjoyed when he opened up to her. JR was surprised, he had told her the story with the intent of making her feel special, but he didn't quite realise how she would react, "I like this better", he whispered as he pulled her into his lap, taking advantage of their unusual dinner circumstances. It wasn't often that they had enough privacy to enjoy their dessert in such an intimate position. They took turns taking bites of the food and kissing, enjoying the taste of each other's lips mixed with the chocolate brownie/mousse/ice-cream hybrid.

"Will there be anything else Mr Ewing?" the waiter could see that he was no longer needed, all of the food had been served and cleared away and the happy couple were just enjoying each other, "no, no thank you", JR tipped the man and watched him leave. They were getting closer and closer to the point of no return, if he didn't ask soon, the night would be almost over and the peak moment would have passed, leaving Sue Ellen disappointed again and probably doing irreparable damage to their relationship. However, that wasn't going to be a problem, he had planned everything out perfectly and the evening was running smoothly so far. Sue Ellen shivered as the night air turned chilly, no longer calm and still, but now breezy and crisp, no matter how nice the weather had been during the day, the night reminded her that it was still technically winter. "Are you cold darlin'?" he noticed her slight shake, "no, nothing a little dancing won't fix", she smiled and pulled him onto the dancefloor, not wanting to ruin the nice mood by complaining about the temperature. JR found a record with more contemporary, upbeat music and they danced together, it didn't matter that the music wasn't slow and romantic, they still felt as close to each other as they had earlier. In the back of JR's mind, he knew that he should really find the right moment soon, he didn't want it to just pass him by, not again, especially not after the hesitation disaster on Thanksgiving. "All this dancing has made me thirsty, let's get a drink", he poured two glasses of champagne and sat back down at their table, now just decorated with the centrepiece and tablecloth. Sue Ellen took the opportunity to sit in his lap again, she just loved how intimate and relaxing it was, along with sleeping next to him, this was one of her favourite places to be, and if he'd hurry up and ask her, she wouldn't have to wait too long before they could do things like this every day. As she settled in the right position and took a sip of her champagne, the effects of nature once again frightened her; this time a bright bolt of lightning lit up the sky before the sound of thunder boomed, sounding alarmingly close to their location. "It's ok, just another Texas thunderstorm, I'm sure it'll be over before it starts", JR reassured her, but secretly he still wasn't sure that that was entirely true; his research had told him that the weather was forecast to be fine tonight, he would have moved their date indoors if it hadn't.

"More wine?" he only really asked to be polite, pouring her another glass as she replied, "it is good wine, and good wine should never be wasted", she didn't really know what she was saying, the wine was indeed good, and it had gone straight to her head now that they were freely drinking and no longer eating. "French darlin'; I knew they were good for something", he grinned, it wasn't often that JR would admit that someone did something better than Texans could do it; "mm, here's to the French", she held her glass in the air to toast them, "here's to Texas", he added to the list before thinking and finishing, "no, here's to us. May this be the beginning of a long, wonderful life together", once again, he'd taken something simple and personalised it, and it had melted her heart. "Hear, hear!" she spoke and then kissed him, loving that he could make her so emotional using just a small sentence. "Sue Ellen…" he began to speak, deciding that now was the perfect time to tell her exactly how he felt, she sat up, hearing the seriousness in his voice, "I…", he was silenced by the huge lightning bolt outside and the following thunderclap that gave no doubt that they were a lot closer to the storm than he'd imagined. Sue Ellen jumped again, her heart beating fast, though she wasn't sure if it was because of the shock of the thunderstorm or the way he'd been looking at her, she was sure that he was about to ask_ the_ question. "I think we should get out of here, we may be dry for now, but this tent isn't made to withstand storms. Plus, we're running off generator electricity, I don't think that mixes too well with extreme weather conditions", Sue Ellen nodded in agreement, actually a little scared of what would have happened if they hadn't made the decision to abandon their current location. JR moved to switch off the generator, he didn't mind paying the damage fee, but he'd rather not have anyone electrocuted when they came to dismantle the set-up in the morning. "JR…" she quickly realised that they should have made this decision earlier, the rain had arrived and it was heavy, she could see the roof of the marquee beginning to struggle with the weight of the rain, although it was made for outdoor use, this was Texas and it was canvas, it wasn't entirely waterproof. "Let's go", he took her hand and held a glass lantern in his other hand, it was meant mostly for decoration, but right now it was the only real source of light they had; he led her toward his car, hoping that they could still salvage the night. Sue Ellen shivered as the cool rain pelted her skin, she could honestly say, this wasn't how she had envisioned the night. "No, no, no" JR stopped walking, spotting the worst possible thing that could happen, a tree branch had fallen straight onto the hood of his car. It would be fixable in the morning, but right now, they were stranded, the branch was much too heavy for one man to move, and even if he did, he wasn't sure the engine would run properly and he'd rather not take the chance of driving a car that could possibly explode. "Come on", he redirected them, thinking quickly as another flash of lightning lit the sky in the distance; Sue Ellen didn't know where he was leading her, but she followed anyway, trusting that he knew Southfork a whole lot better than she did, and he'd never let them get into any real danger.

To be continued…


	88. The Question

**Dallas, Texas**

"What is this place?" Sue Ellen looked around the dark room, "it's a cabin, used by the ranch hands in times like this, when the weather suddenly turns. Originally, it was where the ranch hands lived, back when my grandpa Southworth first owned Southfork, before the ranch had a lot of workers and before the ranch house was where our house is now, the old ranch house was on the other side of Southfork". He used the candle in the lantern he was holding to light some of the candles in the room, "unfortunately, no one's lived here for a long time and I suppose we just never updated it. There's no electricity, but I'm pretty sure the bathroom is plumbed, luckily for us", he grinned, just imagining having to tell Sue Ellen, a proper lady, that the bathroom had no indoor plumbing. Sue Ellen didn't really care about the specifics, she was just happy to be out of the rain, "well, it's lucky that you know Southfork as well as you do", she shivered as another gust of wind rattled the old, wooden structure. "Mm, the ranching side of being a Ewing may not be my favourite, but daddy made sure I learned everything… You must be freezing, here", he took his jacket off and draped it around her shoulders before focusing his attention on the fireplace. Sue Ellen watched him throw a few logs of wood from the small basket into the fireplace, and use the box of matches to start a fire; it was a side of JR that she'd never witnessed before and it was a side that she found appealing.

"I'm sorry about your car", she lay back against him, seated on the floor, in between his legs as they watched the flames of the fire, "it's alright, the insurance should cover any damage, and if it doesn't, then I get to go car shopping. Mostly I was just annoyed that it left us stranded out here, at least until morning", she smiled at his words, their situation wasn't entirely terrible, "you know, I don't really mind, I like when it's just the two of us". JR grinned, she'd just confirmed his new thoughts, being all alone, cut off from the rest of the world wasn't so bad, it was actually quite perfect, "I do too…I love you Sue Ellen". Sue Ellen turned her body to face him and gently kissed his lips, "I love you too JR", she was always touched when he told her that he loved her, especially when it was for no real reason, just because he felt like it. JR looked across the room at one of the chairs where Sue Ellen had laid his tuxedo jacket to dry after she found a box of blankets; he needed to get the box in the pocket of his jacket. Something inside him was telling him to move, now seemed like the time to start the conversation and he didn't want to let the moment pass again; it just felt right.

Sue Ellen excused herself, partly because she needed to use the bathroom, but mostly because she could feel a change within JR, he seemed anxious, maybe a few minutes alone would do him good. JR didn't know how, but she seemed to have been able to tell exactly what he wanted and he sighed as she closed the door to the small bathroom, he stood and walked across the room, his jacket was still damp, but the box was in perfect condition, that was all he really needed anyway. "Did you miss me?" she joked as she returned to the room; "of course… more than you know" he whispered the second half of his sentenced before he kissed her lightly. His nerves returned, "JR?" she sensed the change again, he seemed different. "I'm fine darlin', come on, let's sit", he moved back toward the fireplace and directed her to sit opposite him, still close enough to touch her, but he also wanted to be able to look her in the eye when he spoke.

Sue Ellen watched him, there was definitely something going on, he was acting so shyly, almost like he was afraid, "JR? Are you sure you're all right?" He looked her up and down, everything was perfect, this was definitely the time, it was now or never, "yes sugar, in fact, I'm better than all right. Finally, everything makes sense, everything is exactly the way it's supposed to be", he smiled at her, enjoying the small look of confusion on her face. "That's wonderful; but I don't follow. Care to explain?" she was happy for him, he seemed content, and that's all she really wanted, their happiness, together. "I'm sorry about the way I've been treating you", he broke the eye contact that they'd established, instead focusing his attention on the flames dancing in the fireplace, "JR…" she began to say something, but he interrupted her, "no, please, let me speak, I need to tell you why I acted the way I did". She was touched, she didn't think that he'd ever acknowledge that he'd hurt her feelings, but she was interested to hear the thoughts and motivations behind his actions.

"…and you see, the idea of bringing someone else so closely into my life, well, it's difficult for me. I've always done things alone, because I've always had to. I've never had anyone who was so supportive and always on my side, not even in my family. Then I met you, and you changed the way I thought about things; you made me trust you and you always supported me. It's such a new and different feeling, one that I wasn't sure I was totally comfortable with and one I resisted for a long time. I'm honestly so sorry if I hurt you or made you feel like you weren't good enough, it wasn't like that at all. It was all me, I had a lot of personal challenges to face before I was able to see clearly exactly what I want. Then…" he paused for a second, needing the time to think about how he would phrase the second part of his speech, he had to acknowledge that she had been right in asking for space, although he hadn't seen it in the beginning. "Then, when you suggested that we take a break, that we needed space and time apart, I wasn't too happy about that. But you were right, we did need that time apart, because during that break, I had a lot of time to think. I realised exactly how much I love you, how much I missed you and how much I want you in my life". He looked her in the eye as he finished speaking and she knew that everything he said was the truth, he had benefitted from their time apart, and he wanted to make things better. "I missed you too JR, I love you", she felt like she was about to cry, she'd never really seen him this open and it was making her emotional; "shh, don't cry", he gently wiped the lone tear from her cheek and pulled her into his arms to hug her; she smiled, she loved when he was sweet like this. As the came apart, JR knew it was time, reaching into his pocket, he took hold of the small box, "Sue Ellen…" she looked up at him, seeing nothing but love in his eyes and she felt like the luckiest girl in the world, just blessed to have a man like JR in her life, a man who loved her. JR took a deep breath and started to speak, "I've had this ring for almost a year; I was waiting for 'the perfect moment', but as each special event in our lives passed and I let some small detail get in the way, I realised that there really is no such thing as 'the perfect moment'. Tonight of all nights has really proven to me that the location, food, weather, company, all of that stuff, it doesn't really matter; I thought it did, and I really wanted everything to be perfect. But it really comes down to this; I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you", he moved onto one knee and opened the ring box to reveal the ring, a huge, circular diamond surrounded by a cluster of smaller diamonds, "…Sue Ellen Shepard, will you marry me?"

To be continued…


	89. The Answer

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen was in shock, from his words, the beautiful ring and the realisation that this was really happening; "yes", she whispered, holding back tears. JR could barely hear her but grew concerned at the tears forming in her eyes, "please tell me those are happy tears"; realising that she mustn't have been heard, she cleared her throat, "yes, yes I'll marry you". JR didn't think any more words were necessary, instead choosing to kiss her, using the passion in his kisses to say everything words couldn't.

Sue Ellen moaned involuntarily as he moved his kisses from her mouth down her neck, he already knew her so well; he knew exactly how to get to her. Slowly laying her down on the blanket they had placed on the floor earlier, she was slightly conscious of her own moral boundaries, but right now, too happy to care about morality. It was only when she realised that his skilled hands had managed to unzip the top half of her dress and were now working on getting her bra off, that she started to become more aware of exactly what was happening. "JR…" she moved her own hand to his, gently reminding him that although she was in love with him, she couldn't allow herself to do that, not yet anyway. JR had almost forgotten her rules, so happy that he was finally getting what he wanted and relieved that she'd said yes and he hadn't been embarrassingly rejected; he had been so lost in the moment, his biological mind logically moving toward the next step, his conscious mind not thinking about the social or emotional consequences of his actions. "Sorry sugar, I just thought you might be more comfortable out of the dress…" he grinned, knowing that the answer to his assumption was yes, she would be more physically comfortable not wearing a tight, slightly damp, evening gown. "I…" she didn't know what to say, he always phrased things in a way that wasn't directly what he meant. He almost laughed to himself as she hesitated; it wasn't as if they'd never spent the night together before, and they were going to be married, it wasn't beyond the realm of possibility that he, JR Ewing, of all men, wouldn't try and get her into bed once again. He was smart enough to know when enough was enough though, when to give up and not pressure her any further; moving his attention back to her lips, he hovered above her slightly as she lay underneath him. "I made you a promise a long time ago, I'll wait as long as you want, even if that means until our wedding night…You can't blame me for trying though" he grinned and kissed her again before she had the chance to respond. This time, Sue Ellen had no problem with his actions, she trusted him to keep his promise, and it wasn't as if she had to remain entirely abstinent, just enough to ensure that she kept her virtue, there was nothing wrong with enjoying time with the man she loved.

Sue Ellen moved her hand as the sunlight flickered through the dirty window, shielding her eyes from the bright light. Gone were the rain and clouds or any sign of the powerful storm that had been there just a few hours earlier; now, the sun was shining as brightly and the sky was as blue as any other Dallas morning. As she moved her hand to block out the sunlight, another sparkly object caught her eye; the large diamond ring was now prominently displayed on her left hand. She smiled to herself, remembering the night before and how wonderful her life had turned out, everything was perfect right now, there was nothing and no one that could ruin the way she felt. Everyone was getting exactly what they wanted, their families would be so pleased, her friends would finally get the answers they asked every time they saw each other, and she finally had a solidified place in society; she was no longer just 'JR Ewing's girlfriend', now, she was 'JR Ewing's fiancée', and would soon be 'JR Ewing's wife'. She hadn't realised it as she was growing up, but she craved the social recognition of being 'someone' almost as much as her mother did; the past few months of living life in-between being Miss Texas and being the future Mrs Ewing had made her realise just how insignificant she was when she was just herself. Those feelings were not enjoyable, and they weren't at all indicative of the way she wanted to live her life. It wasn't a conscious thought, but deep down, being married to a wealthy man like JR gave her purpose and status, this marriage was about more than just love, it was about securing her future.

JR awoke as small rays of danced around the room; slowly opening his eyes, he realised exactly what the rays of light were. "Do you like it?" he watched her playing with her new ring for a few minutes before he finally spoke, breaking her out of whatever deep thought she was in, "it's beautiful, I love it", she replied in a dreamy, dazed voice, still a little sleepy and also caught up in their new relationship development. "I'm glad. It took me a while to find it, but when I saw it, I knew that was the one", Sue Ellen smiled as she heard his words, he'd put so much thought and effort into everything, "was what you said last night true? Have you really had this ring for a year?" JR cringed a little, at the time it had seemed romantic to tell her that he'd been planning it for so long, but now, he wasn't so sure. He didn't want to be questioned about why he had waited so long, he'd given her the best explanation he could come up with last night and there was really no more for him to say. He certainly wasn't going to admit that he'd had any doubts about their sexual compatibility, he wasn't going to jinx that part of their relationship before they even got close enough to find out. "It is", he said no more than those two words and Sue Ellen sensed the hesitation in his voice, "the important thing is that we're here now. That's all I ever wanted, for us to be happy, together. I love you JR, and what you said last night was correct, nothing else matters". He was still continually surprised by how she could take so much out of so little, it was the opposite of how he would have expected a child of Patricia's to turn out; "good, I'm glad", he kissed her lightly before realising how uncomfortable their current position was. "Now, remind me again why we chose to sleep on the floor?" Sue Ellen laughed, it may have been cozy last night, but this morning, it was a little hard and cold, "the fireplace was warm and romantic, and the bed looked like the sheets hadn't been changed since your grandpa Southworth was alive". JR chuckled, "now I remember. Darlin', I hate to rush you to get up, but my back is killing me and I could really use a proper cup of coffee, so how about we get up and get dressed and we can head back to Southfork to freshen up and tell everyone the good news. Or we could go to a hotel if you'd prefer to tell everyone later", he also needed to use the bathroom and still had a small hint of his morning problem to get rid of, but he wasn't going to mention those two. "That sounds wonderful. I must look a mess right now", for the first time since waking up, she realised that she probably looked awful, she'd spent all night sleeping on the floor of an old ranch cabin and she'd been soaked by the rain the night before. "You look beautiful, you always do", he wasn't lying, he really did think she looked good, he'd seen a lot of women in the morning and Sue Ellen pulled the look off well. She kissed him lightly, now conscious that she probably had morning-breath, "thank you for lying. Now, go get dressed and I'll fold up these blankets".

**Austin, Texas**

Patricia Shepard drank her coffee as she read the Saturday morning newspaper, though she wasn't really reading the articles, she was too distracted to do anything other than think. Why hadn't Sue Ellen called last night? Her mother should have been the first person she told of her engagement. Surely she hadn't said no, she wouldn't have said no, not to JR Ewing, and not to the last chance at a good life. She almost dropped her coffee mug as she jumped at the sound of the phone ringing; "good morning, Shepard residence, Kristin speaking", her young daughter didn't have a clue what was going on and acted completely normally as she answered the phone. "Mama, Mrs Campbell is on the phone for you", Kristin informed her and she sighed, Sue Ellen would call when she was ready, she probably just forgot in all the excitement of the engagement celebrations.

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen was glad she was able to change into a more suitable pair of shoes for walking than the high heels she had worn with her evening gown the previous night. Her overnight bag had been moved straight from the limo into the trunk of JR's car, he was obviously planning on having her stay at Southfork or taking her to her hotel after their date, though neither really mattered now. "I'm sorry it turned out like this. I'll have to get daddy to make sure we get phones installed in all of the shelter cabins; otherwise, one day there could be a real emergency and no one would be able to call for help", JR held her hand as they walked through the fields toward the stables. "I told you JR, stop worrying, it wasn't your fault, and besides, it wasn't a real emergency, and I actually liked our little adventure, it was about as close to camping as I'd ever want to get", she grinned as JR laughed, she knew that JR didn't much enjoy camping either and would appreciate her joke.

"Ray!" JR called into the stables, knowing that Ray would help them out, he was the one ranch hand that JR actually didn't mind socialising with; Ray was one of Jock's best workers and Jock sometimes even invited him to go hunting with them. As long as he stayed on the ranch side of Southfork and just did his job, JR had no problem with him taking a little of Jock's attention, it gave him more opportunities to make oil deals by himself. "JR, Miss Shepard", Ray tipped his hat and noticed how well dressed the couple were, "what do you need me to do?" he asked, before JR launched into the list of problems and tasks. Ray nodded, taking everything in his stride; he was ready to help, without knowing how or why, he just was.

To be continued…


	90. The Announcement

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen sat on the edge of JR's bed, playing with her new favourite piece of jewellery as he tied his tie, "so, I was thinking, seeing as we were lucky to arrive when no one was home, how about we sneak out quickly, as if we were never here. We'll get lunch, maybe I'll take you shopping, and then we'll come back and tell everybody the good news. We'll have to make sure that we avoid downtown Dallas though; too many people know me there, and I don't want anyone to see the ring yet", JR told her his idea for their day, and she nodded. "JR?" She sounded hesitant and JR began to worry, what if she was having second thoughts? He didn't know whether he would be able to deal with that kind of rejection, "yes darlin'?" he asked, still unsure of what she was about to say. She stood up and walked over to him, squeezing his hand to reassure him as she heard the doubt in his voice; although he liked to give off a confident vibe, deep down, he was sensitive and fragile; she could almost sense his worry about what she was going to say next. "Well, I know we agreed to tell everyone the good news at cocktails this evening, but I have this awful feeling inside me. My mama will have a fit if we tell your family before we tell her; but it's also not really the kind of news that you tell someone over the phone. I'm just worried, that's all". JR sighed in relief and turned to face her, "darlin', that is nothing to worry about. There is a very simple solution to that little problem. Austin is only an hour's flight away. Call your mama and invite her and Kristin to dinner, I'll have the Ewing jet fly to Austin and pick them up at five". Sue Ellen thought about it for a second, wondering why she didn't see the simple solution, "that's a great idea. I hope mama doesn't have plans already". JR grinned, "I have a feeling that she'll be anticipating an invitation", he didn't tell Sue Ellen, but her mama already knew that he was planning to propose; he had done the gentlemanly thing and asked her permission. Patricia had a lot of power over Sue Ellen's life and as much as he hated to admit it, she could make or break their relationship, he wanted her on his side. If he knew Patricia as well as he thought he did, she would be going crazy in anticipation of the news, she couldn't wait to get her hands on more Ewing money. Sue Ellen didn't know what to make of his last comment, but just assumed that he meant in general; her mama was always asking when he was going to propose, it probably wouldn't be that much of a surprise. "I'll call now…I love you", she kissed him softly before walking over to the phone; JR smiled to himself as she walked away, he was a lucky man and he couldn't have been happier at that moment.

**Fort Worth, Texas**

"You always manage to find new ways to surprise me", Sue Ellen looked over the menu and laughed, she couldn't believe that she was just discovering this side of JR Ewing. "I'm glad, I wouldn't want to be boring. So, what are you surprised about?" he read the menu as he spoke, although he already knew exactly what he was going to order, he always had the same thing. She giggled, happy to be in such a good mood and happier that they were having a relaxing day; "how do I phrase it? This place, it's nice, but it's so… Not you", JR looked up at her, amused by her enjoyment of this 'new' side of him. "Story time", he folded his menu and looked at her seriously, "remember last night, when we were having dessert? I told you a little story about the maids that have worked for us over my lifetime? Well, remember Gloria?" Sue Ellen closed her menu as he began to speak, interested in how the homely little breakfast restaurant fit into his life, "the bad cook", she nodded and encouraged him to continue the story. "That's the one; well, it was actually rather lucky; for a few months, daddy and I did a lot of business with a company in Fort Worth, and we'd leave Southfork early in the morning, to beat the traffic, but mostly to avoid having to eat Gloria's overcooked eggs. Instead, we'd eat breakfast here, at this lovely little pancake house", he laughed as he remembered the story, his father had been the first to suggest breakfast away from Southfork, it had been their little secret, Miss Ellie never knew, she always thought that they were too harsh on Gloria and wouldn't have approved of them purposely avoiding family breakfast. In a way, it was one of the few times that JR and Jock bonded over something that wasn't about oil, women, money or power. "Anyway, sometimes I come here, when I want a little privacy, and good food. I thought Fort Worth would suit our needs for today, shopping and lunch where no one important will recognize us"; Sue Ellen smiled at his story, he was a hard man to analyse, he never revealed too much about himself, but she enjoyed when he did. "And here I was thinking that we drove sixty miles just for the pancakes. I like the story, and I like when you share things like that with me"; JR thought about her words, although she would soon be his wife, there were probably thousands of little things she didn't know about him, things that he liked to keep hidden. In the spirit of love and trust he made a small promise to himself to be a little more open with her, she was the one person who would always be on his side.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR held onto her left hand tightly, making sure the ring stayed hidden from sight until the moment when they finally told their families, "excuse me" he spoke, getting the attention of everyone in the room, "Sue Ellen and I have some news we think that you'll all be pleased about". He'd had their attention when he asked for it, but now, five pairs of eyes were staring directly at him, waiting for confirmation of the news they had all speculated would be announced tonight, especially all being gathered here like this. "I know you've all been waiting a long time to see me stand here and say what I'm about to say… I've asked Sue Ellen to marry me, and she accepted"; the next few minutes were a blur filled with handshakes and hugs combined with calls for champagne. Sue Ellen was relieved, she didn't know why, but she had been worried that something would go wrong and the Ewings wouldn't want her anymore. She realised that she had nothing to worry about as Miss Ellie hugged her and welcomed her into the family; the rest of the evening was spent showing off the ring and explaining all the details. She was happier than she had been in a long time and she had JR to thank.

To be continued…


	91. What Ifs

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen drank a cup of tea as she flicked through a bridal magazine; she was supposed to be focusing on visualising what kind of wedding she wanted, but all she could think about was the last time she had been engaged… Clint. She had no idea why, she loved JR and she was over Clint, she hadn't even seen him for almost a year now, but for some reason, the memories of her relationship with Clint kept running through her mind. With Clint, everything had been so simple, they were so open with each other, right up until the engagement, and then everything had crumbled and fallen apart. Coincidentally, that's also when JR Ewing entered her life. Of course, she knew that she was idealising her relationship with Clint, they'd had their own set of problems and their future never would have really worked, but still, for the most part, her relationship with Clint was one of the best times of her life. She hated herself for even thinking those thoughts, she was supposed to be in love with JR, he was everything she and her mother wanted in a husband, but she still had a small amount of unresolved feelings and emotions in regards to Clint. JR was stable and dependable and she loved him so deeply, but Clint was her first love and he would have done anything for her; the two men were on completely different levels in reality, but in her mind, she was confused. "No", she spoke aloud and Kristin looked up at her, wondering what could possibly be wrong in Sue Ellen's perfect little life now. "I'm going for a walk", Sue Ellen stood up and announced to her younger sister before she left the room, she needed to get away, she needed to think and clear her head, she couldn't continue on this path of thinking, it would be dangerous and disastrous for her relationship with JR.

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen readied herself for bed, still getting used to the idea that she no longer had to stay in hotels when she was in Dallas; not that she'd _had _to stay in hotels before, she'd mostly chosen to, not wanting to impose on the Ewings. Now that she and JR were engaged though, Miss Ellie had insisted that she start to act more like a Ewing and the guest bedroom across the hall from JR's bedroom was now 'Sue Ellen's room'; her second home, until the wedding when she would move into JR's bedroom, making it their bedroom and Southfork her home. It wasn't as if she had never spent the night at Southfork before, but tonight was the first time that it was in such a definite position; she was JR's fiancée, almost a Ewing, and that was something that really took some getting used to. JR promised her that one day, she would be the mistress of Southfork; he was the oldest son, the Ewing heir, and she would be his wife, one day all of this would be theirs. The window of her bedroom looked out at the acres and acres of Southfork land, it was beautiful and surreal; it still surprised her that she'd managed to get this lucky in life. There was a light knock on the door, but she didn't hear it, only realising that JR had entered the room as he placed a hand on her shoulder; "you were deep in thought…" he observed, "mm, I was just considering…everything", she replied distantly. JR didn't push her, she seemed to be preoccupied with thoughts and if she wasn't sharing them now then he didn't want to drive her away by interrogating her, "ok, well I came to say goodnight, so uh, goodnight", he gently kissed her cheek, "darlin', just remember that I love you". Sue Ellen smiled at his kiss and his words, he was such a sweet man with her, "I love you too", she turned and kissed him properly, breaking her deep thought process and focusing on the current situation, that was what was important right now.

**Tokyo, Japan**

Clint Ogden opened the door to his twenty third floor, one bedroom apartment in downtown Tokyo, he unpacked his three bags of groceries before he made himself a small bowl of miso soup and rice. He'd been living in Tokyo for about eight months and Japan was a lot different to America, but he was finally starting to get used to it. He'd taken a job with a large electrical engineering company in Texas after graduation and had quickly made connections that gave him the opportunity to work in Japan researching new electronics technology; he was learning a lot and he was silently confident that he would one day be able to support Sue Ellen in the way that JR Ewing did. Not everything he did was for Sue Ellen though, a lot of it was for himself, but on bad days, the thought of arriving back in Texas and reclaiming the heart of Sue Ellen Shepard did motivate him to do better and achieve more. He read through the pages of one of the two weekly newspapers he ordered specially from Texas; one newspaper from Austin, where he'd gone to college, and one newspaper from Longview, his hometown. The newspapers gave him the small connection to home that he needed to help him feel like he still belonged somewhere. His fingers finally reached the society pages of the Austin newspaper, it wasn't a section that he often read, but today, it was impossible for him to tear his eyes away. _'The Beauty Queen &amp; The Oil Baron'_ the headline read, _'…oil magnate, John Ross 'J.R.' Ewing, Jr. and our very own former Miss Austin and Miss Texas 1967, Sue Ellen Shepard, have made their first public appearance since they announced their upcoming nuptials last week. The couple were seen together at the annual Texas Independence Day ball…' _Clint felt his stomach drop as he looked at the photograph of the couple; it took up almost half the page and was difficult not to stare at. Sue Ellen looked even more beautiful than she had when they were together, and he began to relive the awful night that he had finally ruined their relationship. It probably would have come to a natural end with JR Ewing in the picture and Sue Ellen's mother's interference, but he had fast-tracked their breakup with his own behaviour. Clint sighed, he'd really lost her, she was going to marry someone else and there was nothing he could do about it.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen didn't know why, but something inside her changed, it was as if it all became clear; she was in love with JR, she was going to marry JR, and she deserved to be happy. With JR, she had no worries about her future wellbeing or happiness, she would be part of a family like she always wanted, she would never have to worry about money or status, and she had the support of her own mother, the one person she was deeply afraid of disappointing. Clint had no place in her life anymore and she shouldn't worry herself sick thinking about the 'what ifs' of life. After her thoughts fell into place, she threw herself into visualising her wedding; what kind of dress she wanted, the guest list, the colour palette, the food, the entertainment, all of the aspects and things that she knew everyone would be judging her on. She felt like her old self, the wedding gave her something to work toward and plan for; her life finally had a purpose again.

To be continued…


	92. The Date

**Dallas, Texas**

"Ladies", JR walked onto the patio, but soon wished that he hadn't; the outdoor table was full of bridal magazines and his beautiful wife-to-be had the serious look on her face, the one that meant that she was in the middle of a decision. "Oh JR, great, you can help us", his mother motioned for him to sit down; he had assumed that once they got engaged, the actual planning of the wedding was up to the women in the family, and so far, it had been. "JR, we've decided on a number of smaller details, but we've just realised that before we can go any further, we need confirmation of the date. Sue Ellen said you two hadn't discussed it yet", JR smiled, that was easy, the sooner the better in his mind, he'd already waited almost two years to get Sue Ellen into his bed, he didn't want to unnecessarily prolong that wait, especially now that he was committed to being a one-woman man. "That's right, but we can discuss it now if you'd like", he took hold of Sue Ellen's hand, "how about July", Sue Ellen and Miss Ellie looked at each other, "July, it'll be a little hot, but it could work, that gives us…sixteen months to plan everything. We'll definitely be able to get that band that Mavis recommended now", Miss Ellie looked at her calendar as she spoke and Sue Ellen nodded, she was still slightly shy about being too forward with her choices, she always liked when Miss Ellie approved something first. "Whoa, hold on, sixteen months? I meant this July", Sue Ellen let out a slight laugh and Miss Ellie followed, "oh JR, no, how could we possibly organize a wedding in just four months, the dress alone will take at least four months. Any good wedding takes at least ten months planning, preferably longer if you want the best caterer and florist".

JR looked from his mother to his fiancée, neither were joking; no wonder weddings were left to the women to plan, he didn't know exactly how much planning went into an event like a wedding, "I don't understand, the Ewing barbecue doesn't take ten months to plan. Does it?" truthfully, he really just expected the barbecue to happen every year, and it did, he had no idea how far in advance his mama started planning. "Well no, but a barbecue is a lot different to a wedding. We use the same companies for the barbecue every year, the caterer knows our preferences and we just hire a few more wait staff to serve our guests. There is a lot of planning, but nowhere near the detail that goes into a wedding". JR sighed, there was a reason women did what they did, he was already tired of this conversation, "ok, so ten months, preferably more. That makes it December at the earliest"; Sue Ellen listened to the whole back and forth between JR and his mother, now she knew why she had been so nervous about bringing the wedding date up in conversation. Miss Ellie nodded, "yes, but December is a hectic month, it's right in the middle of holiday season, and the weather is unpredictable, I'm not sure that it's the best time"; JR thought about it for a minute, his mother was right, December wasn't a good time businesswise either, especially if they were going to have any decent honeymoon afterwards. "January is busy for Ewing Oil too"; Sue Ellen decided to make a suggestion, "how about the one year anniversary of the date we got engaged?" Miss Ellie and JR both thought about it before Miss Ellie spoke, "it could work, but it's Valentine's Day. Do you think people would skip their own celebrations to come to a wedding?" JR thought about it for a second, if people didn't care about his wedding enough to skip their own celebrations, then they weren't the kind of people he wanted at his wedding. However, that being said, he didn't really have too many close friends, and he didn't want Sue Ellen to be upset at the small turnout on their wedding day. "Actually, if I remember correctly, by the time we got to the cabin, made a fire and got dried off, it was past midnight. Technically, we didn't get engaged until the fifteenth", JR smiled at Sue Ellen's reasoning, perhaps she was smarter than he'd originally given her credit for, "I like the way you think darlin'. Mama? How does February 15th 1970 sound? Will that be enough time?" Miss Ellie looked at the calendar, it was a Sunday, it would definitely work, "it's perfect".

**New Orleans, Louisiana**

"You look happy", Paula handed Sue Ellen another martini, "I am happy", Sue Ellen took a sip of her drink and smiled, "you remembered"; Paula laughed, "yes, always vodka, never gin". Sue Ellen was happy to finally have a real friend to talk to again; the ladies at her book club were nice, but she wasn't actually friends with them. Jack was a good listener and always gave good advice, but that was what she mainly used him for, they weren't really friends in the way she and Paula were friends. "So, Roger is out of town on business, and Mrs Smith next door is looking after baby James until morning; my night is all free. I want to know everything", Paula had missed having a close friend that was just her friend because she wanted to be, not because their husbands worked at the same company, or because their babies were in the same playgroup.

"…and my mother has already started looking for new houses, ones that are 'closer to Kristin's school'. I think she's hoping that I'll mention it to JR and he'll buy one for her, I'm smarter than that though. JR doesn't owe my mama anything, especially not after the amount of money he's already spent trying to win her over. Kristin's private school education is paid for by JR, I highly doubt that he'll want to pay for a home next to the school too, just so my mama can feel important. I don't know why she's so greedy, but she always wants more", Paula giggled as Sue Ellen recounted the story, she'd missed this kind of girl-talk, especially gossiping about Patricia Shepard, Sue Ellen always had new, unbelievable stories about her mother. Paula thought about it for a second and then responded, "you know, your mama should just focus her matchmaking energy on herself, then she could marry the wealthy man herself instead of pushing you and Kristin so hard"; Sue Ellen laughed cynically, "actually, I think she's secretly doing that. However, you see, wealthy men aren't too interested in women like my mama unless they're young, beautiful and open to anything. My mama is a gold-digger, but she doesn't have age and beauty on her side; Kristin and I do, and she'll use that to her full advantage at any opportunity". Sue Ellen finished her drink and prepared another, losing count of how many she'd had, but not caring, she wasn't going anywhere tonight and she was enjoying herself, she deserved to have a good time with her old friend.

"…JR is so sweet, he's even told me to clear my calendar the second weekend of May because he's taking me away for the whole weekend. I can't believe how romantic and loving he is; it's not like he has to impress me to get me to date him anymore", both women were drunk and Sue Ellen was still talking about how sweet JR was. Paula was beginning to wonder whether they'd ever been anything more than sweetly romantic; that just wasn't the complete picture she had of JR Ewing before she met him. She'd heard stories about what a womanizer and playboy he was, but the JR Ewing that Sue Ellen knew was anything but that man. "Let me get this straight, JR is taking you away for the weekend and you're excited about maybe going to the beach?" Paula giggled; Sue Ellen was so naïve, if anything, JR was planning to try to seduce her in a romantic location, something that gave her the illusion of a honeymoon without the actual marriage. "Yes, I remember hearing him asking me about Corpus Christi a while ago", she replied innocently; Paula looked at her sceptically, "ok, honest question; how do you do it? How do you have so much willpower? I know it wasn't JR's idea, so tell me your secret, because with a man like JR, you have to be going crazy". Sue Ellen giggled, "only about half of it is willpower, the other half…" The two women spent the rest of the night drinking and giggling, feeling like college girls again, Sue Ellen the naïve good girl with the hidden side, and Paula, the naughty, rebellious one that took great joy in hearing the not-so-innocent admissions of her supposedly-innocent friend. She wasn't so worried about Sue Ellen anymore, she may still hold her virtue, but she wasn't totally frigid.

To be continued…


	93. Life

**Dallas, Texas**

It was now mid-April and Sue Ellen and Miss Ellie sat in the Southfork living room, surrounded by little bits of paper with various wedding details written on them. "Ok, so let me just list everything and we can check off the ones we've done, venue, check; date, check; band, check; photographer, check; flowers, check. Guest list, almost confirmed, I just need you to get those final addresses for me and then I'll send the list to the printers. Catering, almost confirmed, we just need JR to do a final tasting. What's next, oh yes, the dress and bridesmaids. Now, I know you'll want to take your mama with you when you go to try on dresses, but if you wouldn't mind, I'd love to come too, but only if its ok with you, I would never want to intrude on your time with your own mother". Sue Ellen looked at Miss Ellie, flattered that she was so thoughtful and respectful; her own mother would have just invited herself, no matter whether Sue Ellen wanted her there or not. "Oh Miss Ellie, I'd love you to be there", Miss Ellie smiled at her, "you're going to be a Ewing; family help each other". The two women hugged before moving on to the topic of bridesmaids and flower girls.

"JR, I need you to fly to San Angelo this afternoon to sort out those refinery contracts, it'll be easier in person", Jock walked into JR's office and started giving him orders. JR didn't think it would be wise to mention that Sue Ellen was waiting for him at Southfork; Jock was happy now that they were engaged, but in his mind, Sue Ellen was now in the wife role, business always came first, especially when his wife was happily waiting at home, she didn't need him right now, Ewing Oil did. "Yes daddy", he started to gather the documents he would need and hoped that it wouldn't be a long trip. It was an unusual feeling, one that had become more and more frequent after their engagement, but he felt like he wanted to spend as much time with Sue Ellen as possible. He never thought it was possible, but he was actually looking forward to having a wife waiting for him at home after a long day at the office, someone to share his problems and successes with. JR Ewing really was in love.

Sue Ellen felt a little strange eating dinner at Southfork without JR by her side, but everyone had been very kind and welcoming, it wasn't awkward after a little while and she'd been reassured by Jock that JR was due back from San Angelo in coming hours, he'd just had to sort out a few business problems. Lucy insisted that Sue Ellen spend the whole night with her and Sue Ellen was glad to have some distraction from the slight discomfort of being a stranger in another family's home. Without JR and without a wedding ring, she wasn't really a Ewing and she didn't feel entirely comfortable making herself at home, not yet anyway. After Lucy went to bed, Sue Ellen retreated to her bedroom, reading a book before getting lonely and wandering across the hall into JR's bedroom.

JR arrived back in Dallas just before midnight, cursing himself for being so late; he probably could have sealed the deal without having dinner and drinks afterwards, but at the time, it seemed like the polite thing to do. Quietly walking up the stairs, he opened the door to Sue Ellen's room and slight panic set in as he saw her bed was empty, but he reassured himself that she was probably just downstairs getting a drink or something; at least he hoped she was, he would go and look for her soon. Walking across the hall and into his bedroom, he almost laughed aloud as he saw her; she looked so young and pretty as she lay on top of his bed asleep, her book still in her hand. He quietly changed into his pajamas and got ready for bed before taking the book out of her hand and gently positioning the blankets on top of her. She looked too peaceful to move and he didn't think she'd mind sleeping next to him, she had come into his bedroom after all.

Sue Ellen rolled over in her sleep and woke herself up as she bumped into something, she gasped as her sleep disorientation confused her mind, not knowing where she was, why she was there and who was next to her. JR heard her gasp, waking herself up, "shh, it's ok", he turned over and pulled her to him, still surprised about how good it felt to have her next to him just like this, nothing sexual at all, just comforting to be close to her. Sue Ellen relaxed, mumbling a few words before falling asleep in his arms; "lonely… bedroom… reading… fallen asleep", JR smiled to himself, this was exactly what he wanted and exactly where he wanted to be.

**Austin, Texas**

The next few weeks passed quickly, between planning small wedding details, doing her usual leisure activities and travelling to Dallas more frequently, she felt wonderful, happy to have a full life again. It was finally coming up to the second weekend in May, the weekend JR had asked her to go away with him. She giggled to herself as she remembered her conversation with Paula, she couldn't believe that she'd been that open with her friend, it was the alcohol consumption that caused her to spill so many details, but that didn't make it any less embarrassing. Packing her things for the trip, she couldn't help but laugh at herself when she thought about JR's reaction to each piece of clothing she selected; she knew it was a little crazy to care so much about what he thought of her, but she did anyway. She wanted him to love her as much as she loved him. There was a knock on her bedroom door followed by her mother entering, impatient about having to wait more than a few seconds for a response, "Sue Ellen, I think we need to have a little refresher talk… about boundaries…" Sue Ellen sighed, she was sensible and had more self-control than anyone seemed to think possible, but she still managed to get frequent speeches from her mother about what was appropriate behaviour; the sooner she was married, the better.

**Corpus Christi, Texas**

"Oh JR, come and look at the view", Sue Ellen stood on the balcony of their hotel room, well technically it was her hotel room, he had arranged for adjoining rooms, but she had a feeling that he didn't plan on them spending too much time separately. "It is beautiful, just like you darlin'" he stood behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, waiting for her to turn around and kiss him like he predicted she would. Sue Ellen knew she should be used to his small compliments by now, but every time he said anything nice, she fell more deeply in love with him. "JR…" she turned and kissed him passionately and JR smiled to himself, both because he was happy to be with her and because he was hopeful that that wasn't his only prediction that would come true.

To be continued…


	94. Corpus Christi

**Corpus Christi, Texas**

"Oh JR, isn't this lovely" Sue Ellen looked out at the ocean as JR struggled with his horse, "mhm, lovely. Darlin' wouldn't you be happier walking?" Sue Ellen looked over at him and wasn't sure whether to laugh or cringe, as much as he had protested to hiring horses and riding down Malaquite Beach, she had assumed that he would get over his dislike once they were actually riding, but so far, he didn't seem to be enjoying it very much. "JR" she softened, "we can go back to the stables, return the horses and then walk down the beach if you'd prefer that", she didn't want him to really hate their afternoon, it was supposed to be fun, not a chore. "No, no, you love horseback riding, and that's what we're doing", he shifted his weight, clicked his tongue and squeezed his legs to change the horse's gait; if they were going to ride, it was going to be fast, at least that was exciting. Sue Ellen watched him as rode ahead of her; he was so confusing sometimes, but if he was offering, then she certainly wasn't going to protest, this was what she wanted anyway.

"Bourbon and branch for me, white wine for the lady", JR ordered their drinks and turned his attention back to their dinner conversation; Sue Ellen sighed happily, she was having a wonderful time so far, JR was in full romantic mode and she loved it. She smiled as she remembered his words as they'd arrived in Corpus Christi, "darlin' think of this as our honeymoon before our honeymoon", she had laughed to herself, maybe Paula was right, maybe JR was planning on trying to seduce her tonight. Normally that thought would have caused her to panic a little more, but she was trying harder to relax a little bit, they were going to be married and there were things they could do as a couple that didn't go beyond the boundaries she had set for herself. Maybe tonight, if she could relax a little more, she would let him go a little further than they usually did, maybe she'd give him a reward for being the best fiancé in the world, he deserved it. They continued their general talk, mostly JR telling her about many of his business achievements, not detailing exactly how he did things, but giving enough information that she was impressed and vaguely turned-on by the power that he possessed. Sue Ellen hadn't realised it when she was younger, but money and power made a man so much more attractive, just knowing that he could make seemingly impossible things happen was a very appealing quality. JR was quick to see how interested she was in his business life, they really were a perfect match, she would be a very understanding wife, she already seemed to realise how important Ewing Oil was to him. "Now that's what I like to see", JR's eyes lit up at the big, juicy steak and Sue Ellen laughed, it was true, the quickest way to make a man happy was to feed him well; well perhaps it wasn't the quickest, but it was the most publicly acceptable way. "How's your fish darlin'?" he realised halfway through his dinner that she'd hardly said anything, "it's delicious; you know, we are on the coast, you should have ordered seafood just for the experience", she laughed as she finished speaking, almost knowing word for word what his reply would be. "Come on now darlin', you should know by now that when there's steak on the menu, nothing else exists", she giggled, it was close enough.

After finishing their dinner, JR took her dancing, choosing a club where the music was traditional and not too contemporary; he wasn't a big fan of public dancing unless it was formal, it was a personal hang-up, he never liked to feel uncomfortable, especially in front of a woman. Sue Ellen realised that she was learning new things about JR every day, little actions gave hints about his upbringing; he had no problem dancing to modern music when they were alone, but as soon as they were at a public club, he was more rigid and uptight, suggesting that they get a drink every time a fast song played. She didn't know why, but it was as if he was afraid of being too casual, though she didn't know why, it wasn't as if they were going to run into anyone they knew in Corpus Christi. She didn't ask, feeling that JR was the type of man to tell her things on his own terms, and he didn't enjoy being pushed for answers; they were having a good time dancing and drinking and she wasn't going to ruin the night by asking awkward questions about his past.

**New Orleans, Louisiana**

"Oh Paula, I don't know what I did wrong. It's as if he wants me but then when he's actually presented with the opportunity, he doesn't want me, I just don't understand him sometimes", Sue Ellen was almost in tears as she remembered how their romantic weekend had gone so wrong. She had thought that by offering him something more, he'd be pleased, but instead he seemed angry and disappointed. "Sue Ellen, please, explain exactly what happened, because I'm just as confused as you seem to be", Paula hated seeing her friend like this and she didn't understand it either. She'd suggested that Sue Ellen be a little more open, not completely giving-in, but not acting so uptight, she and JR were engaged to be married after all, it wasn't completely ridiculous to assume that they would further their relationship. She thought that she was helping Sue Ellen by suggesting a few intimate things that couples could do that didn't involve going all the way, and from what she'd heard about JR, it seemed like a good suggestion, but for some reason, Sue Ellen's efforts had failed miserably. Sue Ellen explained their activities for the day, up until they left the club and arrived back at the hotel, "…so there we were, it was fun, it was relaxed, it seemed like a good time to do something nice for him after he spent all day doing nice things for me. Of course, I was a little nervous, I've never done that before, not even for Clint and he actually asked me to once, but I said no", Paula listened, not surprised that Sue Ellen had rejected Clint's advances. Back in their early college years, Sue Ellen was the most morally obedient girl she'd ever met, it was only from being in college and being friends with Paula that she learned to loosen-up a little bit. Paula nodded, prompting Sue Ellen to continue with her story, "so we were getting closer and closer to that point, and that's where I'd normally push him away or gently redirect his attention, but instead, I did as you told me to. He didn't seem to mind my attention until right at the last minute, just when I was about to… he switched personalities, he… he called me a tramp, and then he pushed me away", she started to cry as she finished telling the story. Paula stood and moved closer to Sue Ellen as she began to cry, hugging her and telling her that everything was going to be ok. Secretly though she was just as confused as Sue Ellen was, in her own personal experience, men almost never turned away from that kind of attention, especially eager men like JR Ewing, she had never thought he would be the prudish type, every story she'd ever heard about JR was the opposite. "I don't understand what I did wrong, I thought he'd like it", Sue Ellen continued to cry, just needing to let out her emotions, it was the first time since it happened that she'd really spoken about it. She'd run back to her hotel room and cried herself to sleep before JR woke her up the next morning and explained that he was just protecting her, but he never explained what he was protecting her from or why he had acted so harshly; they'd flown back to Austin later that morning and hadn't spoken since then. She'd called Paula in tears and had gotten on the first flight out of Austin that night, needing to talk to someone before she really turned self-destructive, she was self-aware enough to realise that she always turned to alcohol when she felt bad, but living in her mother's house, drinking herself out of her problems wasn't really an option. Paula hugged Sue Ellen as she cried herself out and eventually fell asleep; she watched her sleeping friend and began to wonder who JR Ewing really was, because every time she tried to guess, she was wrong.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR buttoned his shirt and left a few hundred-dollar bills on the bedside table. He couldn't work out why he felt so strange, the events of the previous night had really shaken him, it was as if Sue Ellen wasn't who he thought she was, and he didn't know how to deal with that or how he even felt about it. It wasn't that he had a problem with other women doing those sort of things, but not women like Sue Ellen, it just wasn't right, it wasn't ladylike and he didn't like it.

To be continued…


	95. The Dress

**Austin, Texas**

"I think the lace sleeves on the first one are lovely, but the shorter train on the second one is more appropriate for the outdoor setting", Patricia and Ellie sat in the bridal shop and gave feedback on each dress, "yes, I agree with Patricia, we wouldn't want the bottom of your dress to get dirty or torn". The bridal consultant listened to the two women and went to find a third dress that combined both aspects that they liked, leaving Sue Ellen sitting alone in the dressing room, feeling lonely and unsure. Unsure of where she and JR stood in their relationship, unsure of whether she should even be here right now, trying on wedding dresses for a wedding that she wasn't sure would actually happen. It had been a week and she and JR still hadn't spoken to each other, it was as if he was upset with her for her actions, but he didn't want to confront her; as they'd left Corpus Christi for Austin, he'd given her a quick explanation, saying that he was protecting her, but that really just confused her more. "I think you'll love this one", the bridal consultant re-entered the room and held up a beautiful off the shoulder dress with a tiered skirt. It had lace, a few sparkles and had a ball gown style skirt that was round and pretty, without the length of a long train; even in her melancholy mood, it was perfect, this was the dress, she had to try it on and show her mother and Miss Ellie. She couldn't stop smiling as the bridal consultant buttoned the back of the dress, something inside her had been triggered, she could already imagine herself walking down the aisle wearing this dress to marry JR; whatever problems they had now, they could fix them, she was certain. Patricia and Ellie let out a collective gasp as Sue Ellen walked out of the dressing room, just from the smile on her face they could tell that this was the dress and as they looked at each detail, they were convinced of that fact.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR and Jock walked into the Southfork living room, just in time for pre-dinner drinks; JR was surprised to see Sue Ellen sitting with his mother, in the middle of a conversation, not having noticed that the men had arrived home. "Good evening mama; Sue Ellen, you didn't tell me you were coming, I would have met you at the airport or sent a car", he wasn't sure why because just a few days ago he'd been mad at her, but now, he just wanted to kiss her and forget their problems. She had come all the way to Dallas, that had to count as her making the first move to apologise, though he knew that he also had something to apologise for, he wasn't as good at conceding, he preferred when other people said they were wrong before he would admit anything. "I invited her, we went wedding dress shopping today in Austin; I invited Mrs Shepard to join us too", JR sucked in a breath as his mother spoke, Patricia was here too? That was the last thing he needed, "…but unfortunately she couldn't make it". JR let out the breath he'd been holding and spoke, "oh, well darlin', give my best to your mama when you see her", he didn't really mean it and they both knew it, but neither of them was going to speak badly of Patricia in front of Miss Ellie, "I will", Sue Ellen nodded. JR walked over to the drinks cart, "can I freshen your drinks?" he asked, wanting to make an effort and wishing he could get Sue Ellen alone right now, he wanted to make things right between them and get back to the way things were before. He knew that she wanted the same thing; he could see it in her eyes.

Sue Ellen wasn't surprised when JR casually invited her to go for a walk with him after dinner, it was exactly what they needed, time alone together to sort out their problems; she was determined to go back to being the happy couple they had been before that weekend. "I'm sorry I didn't call first; your mama insisted that I come back to Dallas with her and stay for dinner; I didn't really have much time alone", they walked along the fence line of the paddocks next to the house, "I'm not upset with you, in fact, I'm glad my mama insisted, it gives us time to talk". He reached down and found her hand, "Sue Ellen, about that night…" Sue Ellen didn't know why, but she felt the need to interrupt and apologise before he hurt her anymore, although she could see that he was sorry, she still wasn't sure that he didn't still think those things of her and she wanted to make her position clear before he said anything more, "no, JR, I…I'm sorry. I think I just had too much to drink and got a little carried away. I shouldn't have acted like that, I know I was wrong". JR had been sure that there would've been more of a fight and he couldn't believe she was being so passive and apologising, though he didn't mind, at least he didn't have to lecture her about ladylike behaviour, "and I'm sorry that I said those things to you. I was just surprised, but I know that I must have hurt you, I didn't mean to". Sue Ellen listened to his words and decided that she didn't want to ask him why he said what he did, she didn't want to fight any more, "thank you. Can we please just forget the whole thing and go back to the way we were before?" JR looked at her, she looked emotionally exhausted and ready to move on, he wasn't going to start an argument with her, especially when she'd just apologised to him and taken most of the blame, something he loved other people to do, "nothing would please me more right now". Sue Ellen smiled widely, just happy that things were good between them again; he leaned down and kissed her, hooking his arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him as they deepened their kiss; it felt good to be like this again, happy and carefree.

**Austin, Texas**

The next few months passed quickly and without any real drama between the couple, Sue Ellen felt blessed to have such a good life and she made sure that the Ewings knew how grateful she was. She always politely thanked them for their hospitality even after they told her that she was practically family and didn't need to keep thanking them for every little thing. The wedding was almost completely planned, there were a few last minute details that would be sorted closer to the date, but as far as major planning went, they were basically finished. Sue Ellen still continued to take regular trips to Dallas though because JR liked having her around when he came home from work mid-week; it wasn't a problem for Sue Ellen, she liked being at Southfork, and it wasn't as if her life in Austin was busy and important. It was coming up to Labor Day weekend and the annual Ewing Barbecue, something Sue Ellen now enjoyed a lot, despite the inevitable drama that seemed to occur every year. JR had assured her that he would not be the one that ended up in the swimming pool this year, at least not because of Bobby, he couldn't guarantee that no one else would be upset with him though. He and Bobby had been getting along with each other fine now that they didn't have to work together in every aspect. Jock had made sure Bobby did his summer work experience at Ewing Oil in a separate office, training him to do the basics before he learned anything else, last year had been enough to put off any father from forcing his two sons to work together, at least for now.

To be continued…


	96. Ewing Barbecue Three

**Dallas, Texas**

"Only five months to go, I bet you can't wait", Sue Ellen politely nodded and responded to the questions and comments, however she wasn't so sure that Marilee meant them in a sincere way. It was almost as if she were waiting for Sue Ellen to admit that she was just another money-hungry woman, like she wanted her to say it aloud to prove a point. Sue Ellen wasn't going to give her that satisfaction though, it wasn't true and she certainly didn't want anyone else thinking the same way that Marilee did; she loved JR and she would have even if he weren't rich. She had loved Clint, and he wasn't at all wealthy, but none of these people knew that; to the average Texan, she was just another beauty-queen who married above her. However, in the company of these women, she wasn't the first middle-class girl to hook a man worth substantially more than she; the DOA ladies weren't all born into wealth no matter how much they liked to pretend they were. Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of two men yelling and arguing, something Sue Ellen had come to expect at the Ewing barbecue, it was as if they attracted drama; Sue Ellen had flashbacks to last year, though she was happy that neither JR nor Bobby seemed to be the ones involved this time. "You stole my oil; my woman; everything; you ruined my life Jock Ewing!" the crowd gasped as a drunken man pointed a gun at Jock Ewing; it wasn't the first time this had happened, but it didn't make it any less shocking. Before Sue Ellen could ask anyone what was happening, the drunken man was tackled to the ground and Miss Ellie was mumbling something to her husband. Sue Ellen wasn't sure what was going on, but she knew that it wasn't random, the elder Ewings looked fed-up and the Ewing sons looked angry; but none of them looked surprised. As the crowd dispersed and went back to socialising, Sue Ellen heard murmurings that helped her figure out who the man was; 'Digger Barnes' and the phrase 'Barnes-Ewing feud' told her all she needed to know. She may not be a Ewing yet, but she knew that there was a long history between the two families; one she'd casually ask JR about at a later point in time, right now didn't really seem like a good time to ask JR anything, he didn't look very happy or like he was in the mood to talk.

Sue Ellen watched JR move around the room as he readied himself for bed; it was something she loved to do, just sit and observe; it fascinated her for some reason. She sat on the end of his bed and listened to him rant about Digger and the rest of the Barnes family. She knew that her waiting game would work, and it had; he hadn't been in the mood to talk earlier and she didn't nag him to explain how he was feeling; her mother had taught her that men didn't appreciate women doing that kind of thing. It had only taken a few hours for JR to calm down a little and start to explain what had happened and why he was upset. "My daddy owes that man nothing; he did everything for Digger Barnes and that drunken idiot repays him by trying to kill him, multiple times. I once asked daddy why he puts up with Digger Barnes, and you know what he said? He said that he didn't know where he'd be without Digger; well I know, my daddy is a better oilman than Digger Barnes ever was, and he could have done it all on his own; Digger just happened to be there in those early years. It's the same with that son of his, Cliff Barnes, he's a total loser too, he likes to think that he can compete with me, but he's wrong. I humour him, let him think that he's competition; but we both know that he's not. I suppose it's tradition, daddy vs Digger, me vs Cliff; of course, it's not much of a fight", he let out a small laugh and then sighed, he knew that letting Digger Barnes get to him was pointless, and it was even more pointless to let Cliff Barnes get to him. Cliff wasn't any threat to him and he hadn't even been at the barbecue today, but he was still on his mind. Sue Ellen played her role well, listening and offering small words of encouragement, but never overstepping her boundaries; JR realised more and more each day what a good wife she would make and how much he loved having her there just to listen and do those small things for him, it was new and it was comforting. By the end of the night, her encouraging words combined with his self-confidence meant that he was feeling like his old self again, ready to take on the world and win. With Sue Ellen by his side, he was sure that he would one day own Dallas; maybe the joking promise he'd made to her on Halloween two years ago would come true; together they'd be the king and queen and no one would stop them.

**Austin, Texas**

"But I don't look good in yellow, I want a different dress", Kristin whined as Sue Ellen sighed; Lucy was never this difficult to deal with, she loved when Sue Ellen gave her fashion advice. Sue Ellen thought about it for a moment, this was her day and she wasn't going to let her sister ruin it. Making use of one of her mother's manipulative lines, she spoke, "do you want to be a bridesmaid or not? Because I'm sure Lucy would have no problem sharing the role of flower girl with you" Sue Ellen glared at her younger sister and Kristin was silenced. As much as Kristin disliked the dress, she wanted to be a bridesmaid, she liked to think of herself as more mature than she actually was; being the flower girl was childish, and that wasn't how she wanted people to see her. Sue Ellen was glad when Kristin stopped talking and accepted her decision, it meant there was one less fight; the wedding party had been one big headache so far. Truthfully though, she was a little disappointed that Kristin had so adamantly said that she wanted to be a bridesmaid and not a flower girl. Sue Ellen had already had a hard time with the wedding party numbers and accepting that her photos were going to appear unbalanced. JR had only wanted Bobby as his best man, but Sue Ellen wanted Paula, Kristin and Lucy on her side; with both Paula and Kristin as bridesmaids and Lucy as a flower girl, the whole procession was going to look uneven. It was something that had been difficult for her to overcome, though she realised that she was lucky in her life if that was the toughest decision she had had to make so far. Being engaged to JR Ewing was a blessing, she didn't have any real worries of her own and the ones she did have were trivial in the grand scheme of life. Sue Ellen sighed and calmed herself as they left the bridal salon; 'five months, five months, five months', she kept repeating in her mind. Only five more months until she no longer had to worry about what her sister and mother thought; five more months and she would be free of her old life and the pressures of having to please her mother, no longer Sue Ellen Shepard, she would be Sue Ellen Ewing, and she couldn't wait.

To be continued…


	97. New Year

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen smiled as JR kept his hand firmly around her waist while they socialised with the other guests at the New Year's Eve party; she loved when JR showed his affection for her in small ways like that. "I bet you two are excited for the honeymoon" Punk Anderson spoke and Sue Ellen tried not to giggle, "I mean because February in Dallas isn't exactly tropical", he added as he noticed Sue Ellen blushing at his words. Mavis watched the young couple as her husband spoke; it was obvious that neither had their mind on the weather, "yes, getting out of Dallas for a little while will be perfect. I don't remember whether you ever told me where you are going?" she looked at Sue Ellen for the answer but Sue Ellen redirected her attention. "Your guess is as good as mine; JR is planning the honeymoon" she smirked, JR had been awfully vague with the details he did give her, but she didn't mind, she trusted his planning skills, and even if the location wasn't great, as long as the hotel room was nice, she didn't think she'd mind too much where they went. JR kept quiet throughout the conversation, trying to decide how little information he could get away with spilling, he wanted their honeymoon to be a surprise and he didn't want her to be able to guess too much information before they were actually married. "I can assure you, the weather is nothing like Dallas, and even if it is, all the more reason to stay indoors", he grinned, letting everyone know that he didn't plan to spend too much time exploring the location. Sue Ellen blushed as Punk laughed; it wasn't that she minded JR's plan at all, but he'd just told their family friends and that was a little embarrassing; Mavis decided to save the poor young girl from any further embarrassment by informing Punk that they should go and get another drink, something Punk didn't object to at all.

"Ten, nine, eight, seven…" Sue Ellen looked into his eyes as the crowd chanted the numbers aloud; things were finally good in their relationship and she was on her way to having everything she ever wanted, life couldn't be more perfect right now. "Three, two, one, HAPPY NEW YEAR!", the band started to play Auld Lang Syne as JR pulled her into a passionate kiss, not caring one bit that they were in public, surrounded by half of Dallas' elite; the crowd didn't care about them either, everyone was having too much of a good time to pay attention to them. As they came apart, Sue Ellen leaned toward his ear, "happy new year JR", JR moved and looked her in the eye, whispering "happy new year darlin'" before he kissed her again.

JR awoke with a pounding headache and dry mouth; as he sat up and drank from the glass of water on his bedside table, he was disappointed when he noticed that he was completely alone in his bed. On the rare occasions that he and Sue Ellen did sleep next to each other, he always awoke happier; he still couldn't believe that he, JR Ewing, was getting married in just over a month, and he was actually looking forward to it. He laughed to himself as he got up and moved into the bathroom, maybe his daddy had been right, maybe all he really needed was a good woman in his life, and he'd finally found that woman. Across the hall, Sue Ellen groaned as the brightness invaded her sleep, she'd put a pillow over her face to block out the sunlight, but as the pillow fell to the floor, the sunlight was now directly streaming into her eyes. The bright light made her feel even worse than she usually did after a big party and she cursed herself for taking a new glass of champagne every time a waiter walked past her last night; it had been fun at the time, but she was seriously regretting it now. Looking at the clock and deciding that it was more than past an acceptable time to get up, she walked into her bathroom and started to get ready for the day, though she hoped that everyone felt as bad as she did, because she wasn't sure that she was up to doing anything strenuous today.

"This is nice" Sue Ellen and JR walked around one of the outer fields of Southfork land, away from any distractions, where they could just enjoy each other and not have to worry about the rest of the world. JR agreed and they walked in comfortable silence for another few minutes before Sue Ellen decided to speak again, "JR?" She wanted to bring up a topic that had been on her mind since Jock mentioned it at Thanksgiving; theoretically, it could happen, and she wanted to know how he felt about it. He stopped walking and looked straight at her as he heard her voice change, she was more serious now. Deciding to just come straight out and ask, she spoke, "JR, do you think I'll be a good mother?" he was a little shocked, that wasn't what he'd expected her to say, though he was pleased that she was already thinking about that part of their future, it just confirmed how serious she was about their relationship. "You will be a wonderful mother" he looked her in the eyes as he spoke, wanting to reassure her, "what's brought this on?" he didn't want her to worry herself about that, it wasn't real yet and even when it was, he had no doubt that she would be a good mother, she was already quite maternal toward Lucy. She saw the look in his eyes, he wasn't lying, he really did have confidence in her ability; "well, it was something your daddy said", JR sighed, his father wasn't too tactful when it came to the subject of Ewing grandsons, he'd probably scared her. "Daddy's just excited, don't let his words get to you" he wanted her to know that his father meant well even if he came on a little strong sometimes; "but JR, he's right, the dates match up", she looked scared and he was confused, what exactly was she talking about? "Dates?" she calmed a little as he looked so confused, it was humorous in a strange way, he'd probably given no thought at all toward the process, only the actions required to become pregnant and the end result. "Yes JR. Theoretically, we could have another little Ewing at Southfork by the end of the year, and that terrifies me"; he saw how worried she was and pulled her toward him, wrapping his arms around her, "I promise, when the time comes, you will be a wonderful mother. Nothing else matters". Truthfully, he hadn't even thought about the things she was concerned about, in his mind, John Ross Ewing III was the hypothetical golden-child, his son, his heir, and not much more, he hadn't actually thought about the pregnancy or parenting a child. A Ewing grandson was mostly about the business of having an heir, not the personal enjoyment of being a father and raising a child. "You really think so?" she mumbled into his shoulder, not wanting to break their hug, "I know so", he whispered words of encouragement in her ear, her kindness, patience and maternal actions toward Lucy gave him no doubt that when the time came, she would be ready. She was slightly reassured, but still apprehensive, she didn't want to become anything like her own mother, "thank you", she moved her head away from his shoulder and kissed him, wanting him to know that she did love him and appreciate him, and that he would also be a good father when the time came.

To be continued…


	98. Mother-Daughter Talk

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen walked toward the exit of the shopping mall with three bags of new clothes, mostly things she didn't really need, but she thought JR would enjoy seeing her wear, she liked to please him visually. Although she'd bought a few unnecessary things, she had also done some shopping that she needed and she was sure JR would love; she'd spent all afternoon trying on various nightgowns, trying to find just the right ones for her honeymoon, and a very special one for her wedding night. She wanted everything to be perfect for when they finally were married and finally free to do everything they'd waited for; that kind of anticipation and expectation called for the best of the best and she didn't want him to be disappointed. Her attention was on the door as she walked, but three brightly coloured posters in the window of a travel agency distracted her; it was driving her crazy not knowing where they were going on their honeymoon. Purchasing clothes and accessories to bring with her was a nightmare when she didn't know the climate or social customs of their honeymoon destination, and letting go of control of something so important was a little unnerving. She'd been so heavily involved in wedding planning and getting all of the details just right that it scared her a little bit that she was leaving all of the post-reception details to JR; he'd promised that she would be surprised but she had never really enjoyed surprises very much. She tried to convince herself to just trust him, after all, he'd planned hundreds of dates for them and she'd enjoyed almost every one of them, his judgement and track record were good, and he wanted to have an unforgettable honeymoon just as much as she did. She forced herself to continue walking toward the exit, it wouldn't do her any good to go and look at the various locations that were being advertised, JR was unpredictable and she'd probably never guess their destination.

**Dallas, Texas**

"Everything is finally coming together the way I wanted it, the way I planned it. JR is finally settling down, hopefully soon we'll have the grandson we've always wanted, a wife and a son does wonders for a man's sense of responsibility. Then there's Bobby, he'll be graduating in May and coming to work with me, exactly the way I envisioned when the boys were younger; and even Lucy, she seems to have settled a little bit since the news of the engagement" Jock congratulated himself, though he wasn't really responsible for any of the events. Miss Ellie listened and agreed, "yes, I'm very pleased about everything too. I knew it would all work itself out"; she had hoped that this day would come sooner and the circumstances would be more welcoming and inviting for Gary to be included in the plan, but that didn't matter anymore, what was happening now was good and that's all that was important. Teresa appeared in the doorway, announcing that Mavis Anderson had arrived, "thank you Teresa" Miss Ellie then turned her attention to Jock, "I'll be back later tonight. The bridal shower ends sometime in the evening" before she stood and left the house with Mavis.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen put away the leftover food and started to clean the tables as Patricia looked through the pile of gifts Sue Ellen had received from her friends; a tea set, cashmere blanket, crystal vase, champagne glasses, silver photo frames, kitchenware and bedroom décor items were the most popular gifts. Patricia was pleased with the amount of gifts; anything that Sue Ellen wouldn't use at Southfork would probably end up staying in Austin with her, and Southfork probably already had all of these things, leaving the majority of the presents for she and Kristin to use in their home. "It was a lovely party", the two women sat down to have tea at the end of the night, though Sue Ellen was more tired than Patricia was, she'd done the majority of the post-party clean up while her mother tried to hide her excitement as she examined each gift; she was so transparent when it came to money. "Yes, it was so nice to see my college friends again", she honestly replied, it was true, she had missed the girls she went to college with more than she had realised. The bridal shower had given them the perfect opportunity for a reunion where she was actually happy and excited, unlike previous occasions where something was always just a little wrong in her life.

"Sue Ellen", Patricia knocked on her daughter's bedroom door, it was the day after the bridal shower, a week before the wedding, and Kristin was at a friend's house all afternoon; now seemed like the perfect time to have this conversation. Sue Ellen opened her bedroom door and Patricia invited her downstairs, it wouldn't be very wise to speak of such things in a private space like the bedroom, she wasn't sure that Sue Ellen could be trusted alone with all of the new knowledge she was about to give her. Sue Ellen sat down as her mother looked at her seriously, "my dear, there are a few things you should know…about after the wedding", Sue Ellen blushed as she realised the intended direction of their conversation and that she was going to have to listen to her mother speak about it. An hour later, Sue Ellen walked slowly through the park near her house, still a little shocked by the biological facts her mother had given her and the way she'd spoken about it, as if it were a chore that wives had to do, not something that she was actually expected to enjoy. She'd known all about the 'joy' that came with the physical act, being in college was eye-opening and she'd graduated with a lot more knowledge than she'd started with in freshman year; but the way her mother had described it was anything but joyful, it was so mechanical and unfeeling; now she was just confused. She loved JR, and it was incredibly difficult for her to keep telling him no because she had such strong feelings of want, but she'd kept her promise to herself and her mother and she hadn't done anything before marriage. But now that she was finally almost allowed to tell him yes, she was being fed a different message from her mother, that men enjoyed it, and it was a woman's duty to perform, not because she wanted to, but because that was what was expected of her. She shouldn't expect to be wowed or excited by the intimate act, but she should always act like she was, because men did not want to know that they failed at pleasing a woman. It was all very confusing; if it wasn't enjoyable for a woman, then why would all of the girls she went to college with be doing it? A lot of those girls weren't traditional, they were modern women who did things for themselves, not just to please men; it didn't make sense that they'd be doing those things if they didn't enjoy them. As she returned home, she heard Kristin inside the house; any opportunity for further conversation was now gone. She'd have to figure it out on her own, though that was probably best anyway, she knew that her mother wasn't always right, and her sorority sisters were also not always right; it was up to her to make up her own mind about how she felt about it.

To be continued...


	99. February 15, 1970

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen packed the last of her belongings into boxes and taped them up, her bedroom now just a room in the house, no longer really 'hers'. The furniture and a few décor items were staying, but all of her clothes, framed pictures and other personal items were being forwarded to Southfork where she would be living after they returned from their honeymoon. Her wedding and the permanent move to Southfork afterward had been just the motivation she needed to sort through all of her things, letting go of anything juvenile or inappropriate for her new life as Mrs JR Ewing. There were quite a few things she had from high school and college that she hadn't realised meant so much to her, she left those things at her mother's house as well as anything pageant related, they wouldn't be much use to her anymore, but Kristin was still young and she would be following in Sue Ellen's footsteps soon enough. Kristin wasn't thrilled about the new arrangement, of course she liked the idea of having nice things, but Sue Ellen's old pageant dresses and hand-me-down clothes weren't exactly her idea of luxury. Sue Ellen was over a decade older than Kristin and the things that fit her now weren't the same things that were in style a decade ago; she felt like she was always an afterthought when it came to her mother's priorities. Of course, that wasn't entirely true, she had plenty of nice things of her own, but in her mind, she didn't really see it that way, especially compared to the girls she went to school with. Sometimes she felt like people only paid attention to her because of who Sue Ellen was; first Miss Austin, then Miss Texas, and now Mrs JR Ewing; the second-best feeling was always there. Maybe the wedding wouldn't be so bad after all, at least Sue Ellen would be living in another city, it would give Kristin the opportunity to make her own identity, one separate from just 'Sue Ellen's little sister'.

**Dallas, Texas**

It was Friday evening and JR and Jock said goodnight to the secretaries before they left the Ewing Oil building, heading straight for the Cattlemen's Club where JR would be having his bachelor party. He didn't really have a lot of friends, so the 'party' was fairly small, though Bobby and Ray had done their best to round-up a group of men to celebrate with them, no one turning-down the invitation of free drinks and the high possibility of seeing an 'exotic dancer' entertain the group. JR had promised himself that he would be returning to Southfork with his father and possibly his brother at the end of the night; he wasn't going to ruin his relationship with Sue Ellen by cheating on her two nights before their wedding day. He'd managed to stay almost completely faithful since their reunion and engagement, only slipping up a few times and actually regretting it and feeling guilty when he did; Sue Ellen was everything he wanted and he was ready to have her, it had been a long wait though and he was grateful that it was almost over. Entering the Cattlemen's Club, JR pushed any worries or concerns out of his head; they were here to have a good time and with all eyes on him, there was no way that he would do anything stupid like be unfaithful.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen's stomach was in knots; her wedding wasn't until tomorrow afternoon and already she was beginning to feel pre-wedding nerves. It wasn't a bad feeling, more anticipation and excitement than anything else, but there was a little stress and anxiety; she was still worried about pleasing JR, in every aspect of their marriage. There was a knock at the front door and she went to answer it, opening the door to the biggest bouquet of yellow roses she'd received in a long time; in all of the wedding excitement, she'd almost forgotten that today was Valentine's Day, but JR hadn't. Although they were flying to Dallas later that night and she would see JR then, she couldn't wait to thank him, picking up the phone she dialled the number and waited. JR was clearly hungover as he answered the phone, but he assured her that he'd had a good night with his father, Bobby and a few associates and that he couldn't wait to see her later that evening. Sue Ellen thanked him for the flowers and they said their goodbyes, keeping their conversation brief because of his headache and her emotional state. She sighed happily as she put the flowers in a vase, it still didn't feel real, she couldn't believe that she was actually getting married tomorrow. Later that evening, Patricia, Sue Ellen and Kristin boarded the Ewing jet; Sue Ellen said a silent goodbye to her old life, knowing that she would never return to her old home for more than a visit, even Austin itself was on its way to becoming the secondary city in her life. In less than twenty-four hours everything was going to change and her life would never be the same.

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen awoke to the sound of workers setting up outside; as she lay in bed, she began to feel sick again, the realisation that today was her wedding day was daunting; it was the day that everyone had been talking about for years, and it was finally here. There was a light knock on the door followed by Miss Ellie announcing herself, Sue Ellen invited her in and Teresa followed with a tray of breakfast food for Sue Ellen. She politely ate what she could, though she really didn't feel very hungry; "are you feeling all right Sue Ellen?" Miss Ellie asked with concern, the young bride looked pale and had barely eaten any of the food on her tray. "Yes Miss Ellie, I suppose it's just nerves; I don't want anything to go wrong, and I don't want anyone to be disappointed," she confessed; Miss Ellie watched the young girl, realising how overwhelmed and pressured she was feeling. "Sue Ellen, there is nothing for you to worry about. Let me take care of the details, today is your wedding day and you should enjoy it, not spend the time worrying about other people. You will look beautiful, everything will run smoothly, and by the end of the day, you'll be a Ewing. Please, trust me; everyone is looking forward to the wedding and no one will be disappointed, I promise you. Now, finish your breakfast, you'll need all the energy you can get today; Teresa will be back for the tray in a little while and JR is here too, so no free walking around the house for now. Remember, if you need anything, just ask someone to help you, we're all here for you, this is your day", she hugged Sue Ellen and left her to finish her breakfast before she got out of bed and showered. In a small way, Miss Ellie's talk had actually helped; it wasn't that she had said anything new or profound, but it was just the reassurance that she needed.

A few hours later, Sue Ellen checked her hair and makeup again as she stepped into her dress, she felt wonderful, any nervousness and self-doubt had disappeared and had been replace by anticipation and excitement. She couldn't wait to see JR and finally be married, in a way, her whole life had been preparation for this point in time and she was confident that she was ready. Patricia buttoned her daughter's wedding dress and couldn't believe that she was actually holding back tears, she was never emotional like this, but today seemed like a good reason to have these feelings; Sue Ellen was finally doing exactly what she'd been raised to do and Patricia couldn't be happier. She'd had a few doubts about JR Ewing in the beginning, but now she was sure that he would make a good son-in-law and husband for her daughter, and the Ewing family were very loving and accepting of Sue Ellen; everything was perfect. Kristin sat silently in the corner of the room, she was a bridesmaid, but so was Sue Ellen's old college roommate Paula, and compared to her, she really did look like a child, not the mature adult she wanted to be. Lucy nudged her grandmother, excited to give Sue Ellen the gift they'd carefully chosen for her, "I think it's time to do 'Something Old'…" Sue Ellen hugged each woman as they presented her with their gifts and as they finished, there was knock at the door and Bobby asked how long they'd be, it was just gone two in the afternoon and the wedding was due to start whenever they were ready. Sue Ellen took a deep breath and nodded at her mother and Miss Ellie, it was time.

To be continued…


	100. The Wedding

**Dallas, Texas**

"Through ordination from God and the authority vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife, whom God hath joined together, let no man put asunder. You may kiss the bride", the pastor had barely finished his sentence before JR kissed her, not that she minded; she was ecstatic to be married to JR. As he pulled away and looked at her, nothing else mattered, not their friends or family, not the outside stresses on their relationship, not little details or the hours of planning that had gone into the wedding. The only thing that was important was their love, they finally had each other and in the moment, that was all either of them cared about. Their guests applauded but neither heard and for a brief moment it felt like they were the only two people in the world; JR kissed her again before the string quartet started to play the recessional music and they walked back up the aisle together. Sue Ellen had hoped that the dreamy state the ceremony had put her in would last, but the photographs quickly brought her back to reality; she wasn't sure why she'd ever expected everything to run completely smoothly, not with her sister's complaining, her mother's directing and JR's short attention span for cosmetic things like posed photographs. She'd given the wedding photographer a checklist of photos she wanted taken and was thankful that all of the family ones were listed first, then the wedding party photographs and finally the photographs of the bride and groom. The order meant that the group got smaller as the time passed, and she was relieved when they finished taking pictures; nothing had gone wrong and she had one less thing to worry about. Not that it was her responsibility to worry, but that didn't stop her from overthinking it, she'd spent months planning the wedding and she didn't want anything to mess it up.

The newlyweds slowly walked back toward the reception and Sue Ellen took a minute to admire all of the hard work she and Miss Ellie had put into planning the wedding. Southfork had been transformed into the perfect reception location; she couldn't imagine having her wedding anywhere else. The yellow and white theme really was lovely, with hints of peach in other areas of the decoration; Sue Ellen was very pleased with the overall look of the wedding. It made her feel special and important to know that the hundreds and hundreds of guests were gathered there to celebrate her wedding, she was a Ewing, she was a somebody. As they came back to the house, the master of ceremonies announced their arrival and Sue Ellen couldn't stop smiling as everyone applauded when they walked to their table, it was thrilling to be the centre of attention. She thought back to her pageant wins and how she'd felt when she was crowned; being Mrs JR Ewing was definitely better than winning a pageant, not only because she'd won the ultimate prize with her new husband, but because there was no bittersweet side to it. There was no loser in their marriage, her win wasn't another girl's loss, and their marriage was guaranteed not to disappoint anyone today; everyone was getting exactly what they wanted, as far as she knew anyway. JR smiled widely as he and Sue Ellen entered the wedding reception, all of his new feelings still struck him as strange sometimes, he had never felt about a woman the way he felt about Sue Ellen, and tonight he would get to feel even more than emotional pleasure. Everything in his life was perfect, he finally had the whole package, a wonderful woman who pleased both him and his parents and he couldn't have been happier in that moment; all of his previous doubts about their relationship were now just distant memories. At a table on the opposite side of the room from the wedding party, Julie Grey sat glaring at the new bride, Sue Ellen had done it, she had done the one thing that Julie would have loved to be able to do, she'd been the girl who finally got JR Ewing to settle down.

After dinner and the speeches, JR and Sue Ellen made their way around the room, saying a few words to each of their guests, though it proved to be a lengthy and slightly tiring task with the amount of guests they had invited to the wedding. Sue Ellen was glad when it was time for their first dance, she felt like she'd hardly had any time alone with JR all day, dancing with him was magical and she loved doing it. JR held onto his new bride tightly as they danced, enjoying the feeling of closeness that they experienced when they danced together, both physically and emotionally; that although there were hundreds of people watching them, they felt like the only two people in the room. The newly married couple barely noticed when the MC opened the dancefloor and invited other guests to join, dancing for three more songs before resuming their hosting duties; splitting up and socialising with their guests separately for a little while. "Sue Ellen, you look beautiful, I am so happy for you", Paula hugged her best friend; although she'd seen the ups and downs of JR and Sue Ellen's relationship, she was confident that they were past a lot of their issues and would be a happily married couple. Sue Ellen hugged her friend and thought about their relationship, although their lives had taken completely different paths, she couldn't think of anyone who understood her in quite the way that Paula did, she was very grateful to have such a good friend, even if they didn't get to see each other often. Miss Ellie interrupted their reunion with a few people she wanted to introduce Sue Ellen to and Sue Ellen spent the rest of the reception moving busily moving between her tasks as a wife, host, family member and guest. The cutting of the cake and the bouquet toss were the final official duties she had to perform and she was pleased when the MC announced that it was time for the final dance, it gave her time with JR, and secretly she was actually quite excited about spending their first night together as a married couple. As the song ended, JR dipped her and kissed her and their guests applauded; JR took her hand and they walked toward a waiting limousine, saying goodbye to their families and close friends before getting in the limousine and leaving the party.

It was no more than ten seconds after the door of the limousine closed that JR pulled her into his lap and kissed her passionately, her dress spread out covering almost the whole backseat, though neither of them was paying much attention to the fullness of her dress fabric. After a few minutes, JR pulled away, "I'm not sure I said it enough tonight, so I'll say it now. I love you Sue Ellen Ewing, from the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you'd be my wife, I love you, and I always will", he looked her in the eye and cupped her cheek as he spoke, watching her react to his words, especially the way called her by her new name. Sue Ellen's heart melted as he confessed his early feelings for her, "and I love you JR Ewing. I think part of me knew that I loved you from the first moment I saw you", she smiled as she recalled the Miss Texas pageant, she hadn't anticipated how much that one event could change her life, but now, she couldn't imagine her life any other way. JR let out a small laugh as she spoke, he knew that she'd felt the same connection at that pageant, "it took you long enough to call me back", he joked. She'd had a boyfriend at the time of the pageant and he'd still pursued her, technically she wasn't actually a free woman and he wasn't really entitled to expect her to call him, but that didn't stop him from joking that she was the reason for their overdue first date. Sue Ellen laughed, of course he would think of it like that, as if it were that easy for her to just drop everything in her life and go on a date with him. She'd had a lot more going on in her life than just being Miss Texas; technically their first date was only supposed to be a friendly dinner, she'd actually had a boyfriend/fiancé when he'd asked her; "I was a busy girl, I didn't even know you, I had to make sure you were serious before I called you back. You have no idea how many strange men are interested in beauty queens", she grinned. JR was enjoying their little trip down memory lane, it was just what they needed after a night of constant people pleasing, this was all for them, and no one else; "oh, I was serious, and I bet you're glad you made that phone call now aren't you?" He grinned, knowing that she couldn't really say no. "I'm very pleased that I made that call", she smiled at him and kissed him again, enjoying the closeness and playfulness of their interaction; it hadn't even crossed her mind to ask where they were actually heading. She pulled away and looked at him seriously, "I do have one question though", he looked at her, encouraging her to ask, "how long would you have kept it going?" It took him a second to realise what she was asking, "the flowers…well after the large order that accompanied the dinner invitation there was a three day RSVP time limit in my mind before I was ready to fly to Austin and invite you in person. Then you'd have had to say yes, you wouldn't have been able to resist me". Sue Ellen smiled, he was so cocky and confident, and it was strangely attractive, "and what if I was just not interested?" JR pretended to think hard about it before he grinned, "I'm JR Ewing, I always get what I want", he replied before he brought his lips to hers again, staying locked in their passionate kisses until the limo arrived at its destination.

To be continued…


	101. The Wedding Night

**Dallas, Texas**

As the limousine slowed and came to a stop, Sue Ellen realised that she still had no idea where they were or what their honeymoon plan was. She'd packed an assortment of clothes and accessories, for both hot and cold climates, formal and informal atmospheres, and she hoped that JR not be disappointed. They'd only been in the limo for about thirty minutes, meaning that they were either at the airport or JR had some other plan for them; she couldn't do much more than guess though, the tinted windows of the limousine and the darkness of the night meant that she couldn't see a thing outside. "JR?" she knew that she was probably not going to get an answer, JR loved to be the one in control of things, only giving people enough details to get by, but never ahead; "enjoy the anticipation", he could almost hear her thoughts, questioning what his plan was and where they were. The chauffeur opened the door and they stepped out, into an underground carpark; she was left just as confused as she had been inside the limousine, though she was sure that wherever they were, it would be an exciting night. They took the elevator to the top floor of the building, Sue Ellen quickly realising that they were in a hotel somewhere in downtown Dallas, though she wasn't sure which one. JR watched her as they walked through the hallway toward their suite for the night, she looked so happy and the excitement of their mystery location made her appear so innocent and youthful; she really was stunning, both physically and emotionally, and she was all his. They came to a stop outside a door and Sue Ellen let out a small gasp of surprise when JR unlocked the door and picked her up, carrying her across the threshold and into the room; wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him, as she didn't feel like ending their closeness just yet. JR closed the door with his foot and walked further into the room, lightly placing her back down on the floor but being careful to not break their kiss, he was enjoying the moment and didn't want it to end too soon, though he knew that this was just the beginning of the night.

Sue Ellen stood on the balcony of their hotel suite and looked out at the city lights, it was the first moment she'd had alone all day; JR was inside getting champagne for them and she'd wandered outside after exploring the suite. Her stomach was churning again with a mixture of nervousness, anxiety and a little excitement about what the rest of the night would bring; they were actually married now and there was nothing stopping them from consummating their relationship. It was something she'd never done before, but JR had and she didn't want to disappoint him with her inexperience. She was almost a little afraid of his vast experience, especially with the way her mother had described her duties to her, she was afraid that it was going to hurt and she wouldn't be able to fake enjoyment like a good wife should; she didn't want JR to be angry or upset with her. Inside, JR took off his tuxedo jacket and bowtie, loosening his top three buttons before he collected the drinks tray that had been placed in their bedroom; he then walked out onto the balcony in search of his bride. Sue Ellen jumped as he placed his hands on her shoulders, she'd been deep in thought and hadn't heard him come outside; "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" he apologised, he hadn't realised that she wasn't really there when he walked outside. "No, it's ok, I was just thinking and I didn't hear you come out", she turned and her breath caught as she looked at him, his slightly dishevelled, semi-casual look was incredibly attractive. She smiled at him, she always felt safe around JR and she didn't want him to think she was uncomfortable now; JR poured two glasses of champagne and they toasted to their new life. They spent a little time standing outside talking about their day and drinking the bottle of champagne, just enjoying each other's company without any pressure to be doing other things; it was nice to finally have some time together to just relax with each other after a long day. As they drank and talked, JR occasionally took advantage of pauses in the conversation, mixing kisses into their time together; it was fun and relaxed, slowly bringing them closer to the point in the night where they'd become one. JR knew that there was no need to rush her, they'd get there eventually and it wouldn't be good for either of them if she was too tense to enjoy anything; he'd decided that it was best to slowly ease into that final act and he was actually enjoying the quiet romantic evening. The anticipation and excitement was heightened with the knowledge that there were no rules anymore, she didn't have to push him away and say no; they had the rest of their lives to be together and rushing into it tonight wasn't necessary. Sue Ellen shivered in his arms as they kissed, it was a mixture of the cool night air on her skin and the pleasure he was giving her just through his kisses, he was a very good kisser and that gave her good expectations for other areas of their relationship. JR felt her shiver and assumed she was cold, "let's take this inside sugar", he suggested, taking her hand and leading them back into the hotel room. Sue Ellen followed him, glad that he was taking the lead because there were two places they could go once inside, to the living room area or to the bedroom, and she was much too self-conscious to suggest going straight to the bedroom.

JR paused for a second as Sue Ellen closed the balcony door behind her, making a split-second decision, he decided to change the speed of their actions, pulling her to him and kissing her passionately, more demanding and forceful than he had been outside; not that she minded, she was happy to go wherever he did and follow his lead. It was just rough enough for her to enjoy without being frightened, he knew exactly where and how to touch her and she was on cloud nine as his fingers skilfully moved along the buttons on the back of her dress. The anticipation of what would come next mixed with the way his fingers and lips touched her skin made her heart pound and she felt lightheaded; no man had ever made her feel that way before and every time she was with JR it just kept getting better, she was still amazed that the best was yet to come. As he finished unbuttoning the buttons he could reach, she suddenly felt exposed and self-conscious; she'd spent hours picking out the perfect nightgown for this occasion, but she hadn't actually thought about when she would change into it. She felt sexy and attractive in the special nightgown, but all she had on under her wedding dress was a regular slip dress, it was all wrong in her mind, this wasn't how her husband was supposed to see her for the first time. JR sensed a small change in her as she pulled away from him, he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, "are you all right?" he asked. She decided to cover the real issue with semi-related concern, it would seem silly to say how she was really feeling, "my wedding dress, it needs to be hung up after I take it off. Otherwise it will get wrinkled", she blushed a little as she finished her sentence, her cover story sounded almost as silly as her real issue. JR smiled a little, she was stressing about non-issues again and he was pleased that that was all it was, those things were easier to fix than real problems, "no need to worry about that, there is a hanger and garment bag in the bedroom closet for your dress, and your suitcase is there too". She calmed as she remembered discussing the plan with him in vague detail, he was right, she didn't need to worry, her things had been delivered earlier in the night and someone from Southfork would be collecting her dress for dry-cleaning tomorrow. Everything was already arranged and she was stressing for no reason; though she still needed an excuse to change clothes now, she didn't want him to think she was plain or boring when he saw her, she wanted him to be wowed. "You know, this tux is a little uncomfortable and it's getting late anyway. How about we go and get ready for bed, then you can hang your dress up and put your mind at ease", he suggested changing clothes for two reasons, one because he actually wanted her to feel better, and two because it would lead them straight to where he wanted to be, the bedroom. Sue Ellen kissed him and apologised for causing a fuss before she moved into the bedroom; JR made a small comment about checking that the doors were locked and left her alone for a moment, he sensed that she had a few more things going on in her mind at the moment and the alone time would do her good. Sue Ellen changed out of her wedding dress and into her new nightgown, a short, bright white, silk and lace babydoll style nightgown with matching peignoir; she wanted JR to think she was sensual and attractive while still being ladylike and respectable. She got the feeling that he wouldn't like his wife to look or act too forwardly in a sexual manner and anything sexier than what she was wearing would be unacceptable; her outfit was perfect, at least she hoped so. She hung the dress in the bedroom closet and went back to the bathroom to check her appearance; JR walked into the bedroom, turning the main lights off, leaving just a bedside lamp on, and began to change clothes, sitting on the edge of the bed and removing his shoes and socks first, then his pants. Sue Ellen looked at herself in the mirror, her stomach had that feeling again, anticipation, excitement and fear, she knew that the very special and important event of the night was just around the corner and she tried to mentally prepare herself for it. She loved JR and she wanted to give herself to him, but the small pieces of negative information she'd been given were really in the forefront of her mind, she was afraid of disappointing him and she was afraid of the physical pain she'd been led to believe would come from their encounter. It was a wife's duty to allow her husband these pleasures though and she wasn't going to do anything that would make her a bad wife; taking a deep breath, she opened the bathroom door.

To be continued…


	102. First Time

**Dallas, Texas**

JR heard the bathroom door open and turned, his jaw dropping as Sue Ellen stood looking both elegant and sexy, she was the perfect woman and she was his wife. Although he wasn't finished changing his own clothes, he didn't care, standing and walking toward her, taking in every little bit of her appearance. "So beautiful", he whispered and she got shivers, it was as if every emotion he was feeling was conveyed in his voice. Sue Ellen looked into his eyes, ready to reply to his words, but instead, she was silenced by his lips covering hers and his tongue invading her mouth; he needed to kiss her, needed to touch her. One hand encircled her waist, pulling her even closer to him than she already was, untying the belt of her peignoir and revealing her nightgown in its full glory. His other hand moved down her back, lower than it had ever been before, but she was his wife now, he didn't have to stop and she didn't want him to stop. The way she felt as his fingers touched her skin was electric, she'd never felt this sensitive to such small actions before and she loved the way that her body was reacting to him; his touch felt good and she was so happy that he was hers, for the rest of their lives. It was freeing to not have to constantly remind herself of their boundaries, they were married, they could go all the way and it was acceptable, it was expected. They continued their passionate kisses and JR's hands roamed her body while he used the force of his own body to slowly move them back toward the bed. Sue Ellen thought he looked very sexy in his white shirt and boxer shorts, but she guessed that he'd look even sexier wearing nothing; her hands slowly unbuttoning the remaining buttons before she pushed his shirt off his shoulders and he moved his arms to let it fall to the floor. She broke their kiss for a moment, taking a small amount of time to look at him and take it all in; she wanted to remember these moments forever. It wasn't that she'd never seen him in his underwear before, or that they'd never spent the night together, but tonight was different, tonight she was actually allowed to think all of the impure thoughts she had about him, he was her husband, she still couldn't get over it, it was a novelty and she was enjoying it. JR wondered why she stopped kissing him, but when he looked at her, he knew; she was so young and innocent, it was actually sweet and nice to see her be so taken with the little details. In their brief pause, he took the time to look at her too, she was beautiful, but she was so shy sometimes, as if she didn't believe that she could ever affect him the way that she did. "I love you", he whispered before he kissed her again, he couldn't control himself, he was in love with her and he wanted every part of her, it was a deep attraction that he'd never felt with anyone else and he never wanted to feel with anyone else.

His hands moved to the straps of her nightgown, slowly sliding them down to reveal her chest and body, and Sue Ellen suddenly felt self-conscious again, he'd never seen her like this before and she didn't know how he'd react, she was deeply afraid of disappointing him. JR moved his kisses from her lips down her neck and toward her chest, slowly sliding her nightgown off in the process; Sue Ellen moaned as his lips touched her in her most sensitive areas on her neck and then in a completely new way when he reached her chest. It was already overwhelming and he'd barely even started on the list of ways he knew how to please a woman; JR laid her on the bed and kneeled over her, taking a moment to just look at her, it was the first time he'd ever seen her this way and he was not disappointed, she really was stunning. Sue Ellen always enjoyed when he was kissing her or touching her, but when he looked at her the way that he was now, she grew shy and self-conscious, the look in his eyes was a mixture of love and lust, and it was a little embarrassing and overwhelming for her knowing that she was the cause of his look. She couldn't believe that she was able to have that kind of effect on any man, especially one as powerful and experienced as JR Ewing, he was a man who could have any woman he wanted, and he'd chosen her. She covered her face with her hand as he continued to look her up and down, but JR slowly leaned down toward her, moving her hand out of the way and whispering to her that she was beautiful and she shouldn't be embarrassed.

She sat up a little and moved her hand around his neck, pulling his face closer to hers she kissed him passionately, his closeness and his words were overwhelming her senses and all she wanted to do was be close to him. She moved her hands across his chest and back as she kissed his neck and enjoyed the sounds and feelings of him reacting to her touch; it was nice to know that she had a similar effect on him that he had on her. She was becoming less and less nervous about the rest of the night; he was caring and loving, taking things as slowly to make her feel comfortable, she was sure that he wouldn't hurt her or make her do anything she didn't want to do. Her hands moved down his back as he pushed her back down toward the bed, hovering above her slightly, but not putting any of his weight on her; as her hand reached his lower back and moved further down, she realised that she hadn't actually looked down there yet and hadn't realised that he was still wearing his boxer shorts. She continued to kiss him as she hooked her thumbs on the waistband of his boxers and slid them down, waiting for him to kick them off; JR was relieved when she made the move to remove his underwear, their actions had made his boxers rather tight and uncomfortable. Sue Ellen felt him moving and then heard the sound of the fabric falling to the floor, she opened her eyes and pulled away from their kiss for a moment, taking a little time to look at him the way he had her. She was genuinely curious about the whole thing, she'd never actually seen a man this close before and it was all new to her; even when she and JR had been close, they'd always been dressed at least in underwear. This was her first time seeing a man's body in real life and it was slightly terrifying as she realised the size was a lot bigger than she'd imagined or read about in books. She was fairly innocent and naïve, she knew the biology of what was about to happen, but she didn't really understand it, she now realised why her mother had said it would be painful. Her thoughts must have been clear on her face because JR started to speak as she was still trying to process it all, "just relax darlin', I promise, we won't do anything that makes you uncomfortable". He'd had experience with virgins before and he knew exactly what was going on in her mind, he wanted her to know that it was going to be fine; they would take things slow and gentle and it wouldn't be as bad as she was thinking. He knew it wouldn't be that bad and she would eventually enjoy it, but he wanted her to know it and believe it before he went any further, he didn't want her to be upset on their wedding night. Slowly, he resumed kissing her, lightly touching her in all the right places and helping her relax; they had the rest of their lives to get it perfect, but for now, he just wanted her to be comfortable enough to actually want to do it.

To be continued…


	103. The Benefits of Being Married

**Dallas, Texas**

The morning sunlight streamed in the window through a small space in the curtain, landing directly on Sue Ellen's face, gently waking her up. Still half-asleep, she buried her head deeper into the pillow, but the brightness in the room was enough to make any further sleep difficult. As she moved her body, she began to realise exactly where she was and whom she was with; she and JR were actually married, she was his wife and they were on their honeymoon. It almost felt like a dream, she even pinched herself to see if it was, but she was reassured that it was completely real, she really was married, and she was happier than she could have every hoped to be. JR slept soundly next to her and she took a moment to look at him, really look at him, taking in everything about his appearance and burning all of the memories into her mind, she wanted to be able to look back at this moment in the future and remember exactly the way everything was. After a few minutes, she slowly and quietly got out of the bed, making her way to the bathroom to check her own appearance; she wanted to look nice for JR when he woke up. She looked in the mirror at her appearance, for some reason she'd expected to look different, but of course, she didn't. She knew it was silly to think that their activities the previous night would have any bearing on her physical appearance the next day, but she'd still had the thought in her mind. She realised it was probably from all the years of her mother's warnings, 'I'll know. You won't be able to hide it from me', she would say; Sue Ellen let out a small laugh, it was scaremongering and that's all. Although she now realised that it wasn't really something people could see or would know about, she was still glad that they'd waited. In some ways, she really did feel like she'd presented him with a gift last night; he was the first and the only man who would ever get that side of her, and that was something that was important to her. Combing her hair, splashing a little water on her face and lightly brushing her teeth, she checked her appearance one last time before she walked back into the bedroom. Even if she couldn't get back to sleep, lying in his arms was the only place she wanted to be, she felt safe with him and it felt wonderful to have a man who loved her. JR stirred a little as she got out of the bed, but didn't awake; as she gently moved the covers to get back into bed, he still didn't wake up, but automatically reached out for her, making a place for her to lie. Sue Ellen smiled as he welcomed her, even asleep his body knew that she was missing and had come back; it felt so wonderful to be wanted and loved.

Sue Ellen lay in his arms, listening to the steady sound of his breathing; it was comforting just to know that he was there. As she lay closely to him, he moved slightly and she felt another part of his body against her; it brought back so many memories of their wedding night. She had been so nervous, but he was so loving and gentle, taking it slowly and carefully to make her as comfortable as possible. The experience was memorable for as many good things as there were bad; it had been a little painful at the beginning, but it was nowhere near the horror and burden that her mother had described, and after the initial pain, it was actually rather pleasurable; she could understand why people did it. She'd known that she would have to figure out a lot of her own feelings about things, because taking other people's advice and applying it straight to her own life wasn't completely helpful; she was her own person and no two people's experiences were exactly the same, she was starting to realise that now. She wasn't entirely innocent though, knowing that she was capable of giving herself immense pleasure, she imagined that with JR's experience and love, their honeymoon and marriage would be continually developing and the best was yet to come. She lay in bed thinking about everything, suddenly remembering a sentence she'd read in a magazine advice column months ago, 'it just keeps gets better and better' the columnist had written in response to a young girl who Sue Ellen had related to in reading, and if the advice was correct, then she had a lot to look forward to.

JR began to stir, his body clock was always alert and the sunlight in the room made it difficult to sleep any longer. Not opening his eyes yet, he moved his hand and pulled his wife closer to him, smiling as he realised that she was indeed his wife and he couldn't be happier to have her. Last night had been amazing, they had actually done the one thing that he had wanted for years and it was wonderful; he wasn't normally a slow, gentle man, but with Sue Ellen everything was new and exciting. She wanted him to 'teach' her everything he knew and he was happy to do just that; it was almost ego-validating to know that he was the first and only man to ever see her in such a way, that she had saved herself for him and their marriage, and now that they were married, she was all his. He slowly opened his eyes and smiled as he saw Sue Ellen looking at him, her eyes focused on his face, almost as if she were trying to memorize every detail; "good morning" he whispered. Sue Ellen watched him as he slowly awoke, it was something that she enjoyed just for the pleasure of getting to know him, she actually liked looking at the little details, the things that most people never noticed. "Good morning" she replied to his words before she leaned down and kissed him; JR pulled her down to him, deepening their kiss just because he wanted to, but not pushing her to do anything more. She was content to just stay that way all day if he'd let her, she loved kissing him, though if he wanted to do other things, she wouldn't be opposed to that either; of course, she would never suggest it herself, it wasn't proper, but she very much enjoyed the attention he was giving her. They lay there just kissing and cuddling, enjoying the feeling of excitement and intimacy that came from touching each other, especially now that they were married and their actions could go further if they wanted them to. JR had realised a long time ago that Sue Ellen was the woman he was in love with, he wasn't usually into long foreplay, preferring to get straight to the actual act; but with Sue Ellen he didn't even mind if they didn't go further. He'd waited over two and a half years for her, knowing that their long-term relationship was more important than short-term satisfaction; though he was sure that he wouldn't be disappointed this morning, she was into him just as much as he was her. Feeling like he was ready, he increased the intensity of his kisses, hoping that she would take his hint and respond, "darlin'?" he asked, verbally checking that she was ok, "I love you JR" she replied before kissing him again, letting him take it wherever he wanted.

Sue Ellen lay in bed, spooning with JR, smiling in a way that could only come from one thing; "I love you JR", she whispered, sure that she'd said it a million times before, but never feeling like it was enough, she wanted him to know that she was serious and she would do everything to make their marriage work. "I love you too Sue Ellen", he never grew tired of hearing her say those words, it meant so much to him. Casually looking at the bedside table, he realised that it was almost eight in the morning, "darlin', I hate to do this, but we have to get up"; Sue Ellen groaned, "why?" she didn't want to move from their position, she loved their closeness right now. "I've got another surprise for you, I promise, it'll be worth it", he kissed her forehead and threw the covers back, standing and waiting for her to get up. Sue Ellen slowly moved, getting up, but once again getting distracted by his body, it was still slightly shocking to see him like that, not that she minded though. He noticed the way she was looking at him and grinned, walking toward her and kissing her lips lightly, "how about we take a shower together, have breakfast and then you get your next surprise", she smiled and nodded, following him into the bathroom.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing, I hope you're all enjoying the story. Reviewer Honkytonkangel, check your PM, there's a more in-depth response there :)**


	104. The Honeymoon

**Dallas, Texas**

"Do I get a hint?" Sue Ellen sat close to JR in the back of the limousine, still wondering where they were going and what his plan was. "I suppose you can have one small hint", he thought for a moment, deciding how much he wanted to tell her, so far she didn't know a thing, not even that they were heading to the airport right now, "you're not going to need any of the winter clothes you packed". She laughed; she assumed that he'd looked in her suitcase this morning, because she hadn't told him about her packing conundrum. "So I guess we're going somewhere hot and sunny? That sounds wonderful right now", winter in Texas wasn't as warm as non-Texans assumed it was and she always missed summer when it was gone, a honeymoon somewhere tropical sounded perfect. She assumed it was somewhere tropical, though his sentence was vague enough that it could have really meant anything; either way, she knew that JR had something wonderful planned.

Sue Ellen looked out the window as they flew, first over land, and then over sea, still not really knowing where they were going; their flight was heading to Miami first, but JR assured her that Miami was not their final destination, it was merely a necessary stop because there were no direct flights to their destination from Dallas. "You don't like surprises very much do you?" he observed her as she looked through the flight book provided by the airline, she had been studying the map intermittently throughout the flight, as if she were trying to match up the locations outside to the printed flight routes. She laughed, she hadn't realised how obvious she was being, "no, not really; especially now that I know there is a surprise, I can't stop thinking about it" she confessed. JR smiled at her childlike inquisitiveness, it was endearing; "I'll keep that in mind for future reference. Now, I suppose you've earned another hint. We'll be staying at a beach resort somewhere in the Caribbean, the sand is white and the water is clear blue. The resort has everything including a swimming pool, tennis court and three restaurants; one of them even has live entertainment. But don't worry, the islands have a lot more to offer than just our resort, there are designer shops, historical sites and other activities. I don't plan on doing anything too strenuous though, I want us to have time to enjoy being together" he grinned at her, letting her know that their honeymoon would include a whole lot of time alone together. Sue Ellen's face lit up as she heard the word Caribbean, she'd been tossing up between three possible destinations, the Florida Keys, Mexico, or the Caribbean, though Mexico was ruled out as soon as she heard they were flying to Miami. She'd never been to the Caribbean before, but she'd seen pictures and it looked lovely, she grew more excited as JR continued to describe the island, it sounded like the perfect honeymoon paradise. "Oh JR, it sounds wonderful. Thank you" she unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned over to kiss him, wanting him to feel loved and appreciated, he was already proving himself to be a wonderful husband.

**Saint John, United States Virgin Islands**

Almost seven hours after they left Dallas, they began their descent into the island paradise; the surprise of their exact destination had been spoiled in Miami when they picked up their boarding passes for their connecting flight, though Sue Ellen didn't mind, it didn't make it any less exciting. The sun was just setting as the flight came in to land and Sue Ellen was only able to get a brief glimpse of the landscape from the air before it became completely dark outside. The boat ride from the island of Saint Thomas, where the airport was located, was almost surreal; Sue Ellen couldn't believe that they were really here. JR was relieved when she didn't question the lack of customs and passport control at the airport, technically they were in a US territory and he didn't want her to feel gypped. Though being here now, he didn't think she would, it really didn't feel like anywhere he'd ever been, and it was totally different to Texas; this place was exactly the way his travel agent had described, it was the best of both worlds. His father had asked that he stay within the US, just in case Ewing Oil business required him to cut his honeymoon short and come back to Dallas in a hurry; travelling was always easier when there was no border hassle. He'd listened to his father, initially planning a trip to the Florida Keys, thinking that it was the closest thing he would get to a romantic island honeymoon, but in a moment of brilliance, he'd thought to ask the travel agent about island territories and she'd suggested the US Virgin Islands. He knew his father's request was directed at staying within the continental United States, but technically, he hadn't actually said that, and in JR's mind that's all that mattered.

They checked in and were shown to their private villa, one of a series of villas in the resort; JR nodded approvingly as the bellhop showed them around and Sue Ellen just looked around in amazement. Their accommodation was bigger and more luxurious than she could have ever imagined; the things JR was capable of constantly surprised her, she'd never met anyone with such power and force before. It took a little getting used to that she was his wife, and she could really have anything she wanted just by mentioning his name. Sue Ellen wandered into the bedroom as JR started to discuss hotel facility details with the bellhop, she was content to let JR decide what they would do, he was good at making decisions and she trusted him. The view from the bedroom was spectacular, the beach was almost close enough to touch and the ocean view was just beautiful, there were yachts anchored in the bay, and hills on either side of the beach, it really was picture-postcard perfect. "Thank you", JR tipped the bellhop and he showed himself out, "Sue Ellen?" he called out, she'd left the room but he wasn't sure where she'd gone, "I'm in the bedroom", she replied before deciding to go and find him herself. JR was just walking through the living room as she came running out of the bedroom, "I missed you" she whispered as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him; he didn't know what had caused her sudden excitement, but he wasn't complaining, deepening the kiss and slowly unzipping her dress, leaving no doubt as to his intentions. Sue Ellen giggled as her dress fell to the ground, everything was such a novelty now, it was all new and exciting, and in a small way, she still felt like she was breaking the rules by allowing him to do things like that. The best part of the feeling was when she realised that it wasn't wrong and she was allowed to let herself enjoy his attention. JR smiled to himself as she giggled, she really was very cute and innocent when she acted that way, he liked knowing that she was actually enjoying herself, she deserved it after years of self-discipline, and he loved knowing that she was learning everything from him.

JR looked at his watch as they lay on the couch together, spooning in their afterglow, "I made a dinner reservation for eight", he casually commented; it was just after seven local time, an hour ahead of Dallas. "I suppose that means that we have to get up then?" she replied, not wanting to move from her spot in his arms. "Well, I could call and cancel, but we hardly ate anything today and I'm hungry, and I'm afraid I'm not much use for anything when I'm hungry" he grinned as he spoke, though she couldn't see his face. She laughed at his casual comment, slowly turning to face him, almost sure that he was grinning, his voice just had that inflection, "we couldn't have that now could we?" she lightly kissed his lips before moving to stand up. "I'm going to take a shower…" she turned back toward the bedroom and JR took the opportunity to watch her body move as she walked, it was a different experience to when she was fully clothed. As she disappeared from sight, he stood and began to follow her path, "maybe I'll join you" he replied, as if he were speaking to her, but knowing that she couldn't hear him, not that it really mattered though.

To be continued…


	105. Wedded Bliss

**Saint John, United States Virgin Islands**

"Oh JR isn't it beautiful?" Sue Ellen admired the view of the islands from the sea, JR had booked a private sailboat tour of the waters around the USVI and it was the perfect start to their honeymoon. When they'd landed last night it was almost dark and Sue Ellen had missed the opportunity to see the landscape in its full daytime beauty, but the boat tour was a good way to see the different parts of each island and what they offered. Their tour guide pointed out the main points of interest, but otherwise left them alone to enjoy the cruise. Their boat docked briefly for lunch in Charlotte Amalie, the capital city, and JR promised Sue Ellen that they'd come back on another day to explore further, it looked lively and interesting and Sue Ellen spotted a few designer stores that she'd like to visit. Returning to the boat, the captain sailed the toward Trunk Bay where they spent the rest of the afternoon anchored; spending their time split between swimming, diving off the boat into the clear ocean, and sunbathing on the deck. Sue Ellen sighed with contentment as they watched the sun set while the boat sailed back to Saint John; their first full day here had been relaxing and romantic but also filled with excitement, fun and new experiences. JR watched her throughout the day, enjoying the way she would react to things and the satisfaction that came from knowing that she was all his and he was responsible for giving her those new experiences. It didn't escape his notice the way that a few men had looked at her on their brief walk around Charlotte Amalie, but he was already less bothered by it than he had been when they were dating. It was obvious that she was in love with him, so much that half the time she didn't even notice the way she attracted attention. JR was sure that the huge diamond on her ring finger was a repellent to any man who thought about approaching her, it was almost a symbol of the power he held; any woman who had a diamond that expensive had to be married to a man with the means to crush any potential threat. "JR?" Sue Ellen yawned as she watched JR moving around the bedroom wearing just a towel, "would you mind if I took a nap before dinner? I'm a little tired", she yawned again and giggled as JR followed. "No, I think I'll join you", he'd actually had other plans earlier in the day, but they could always delay their 'activities' for a few hours; right now her yawn was just reminding him of how tired he was too, a nap together would be good, and would re-energize them for the evening. Sue Ellen stood and walked into the bathroom to shower, needing to rinse off after their swim in the ocean earlier; while she showered, JR called and made an order for their dinner to be delivered to their room later in the evening. There was no rule that dictated that they had to go out to dinner every night, and tonight he really would prefer to just stay in; he was sure that Sue Ellen wouldn't mind.

JR awoke as he did every morning, his body clock never differentiated between workdays, weekends or vacation time; although they were an hour later than Dallas time and it was now almost eight, he lay and watched Sue Ellen sleeping for a while, it didn't seem right to wake her up when she was sleeping so peacefully. Absentmindedly, he ran his hand along her side, from her shoulder, down her arm, to her hip and to the top of her thigh, appreciating each little curve of her body and the softness of her skin; he felt like the luckiest man in the world, she was his wife, and she'd saved herself all for him. She lightly stirred as his hand accidentally brushed her inner thigh, and he was surprised when she let out a small moan in her sleep, he grinned as he daringly did it again, wanting to see whether his assumptions were right, and when she moaned again, he decided it was time to wake her up. She'd successfully caused him to need her without even waking up, and from the evidence in front of him, she wanted him just as much; he placed small kisses on her shoulder and began to move upward, by the time he got to her lips, she was awake, ready and looking forward to whatever he had planned.

Sue Ellen looked through a guidebook as they ate breakfast on the balcony of their villa, today she wanted to do something fun and interesting, but not too time consuming or tiring. JR had suggested that she find a morning activity and they spend the afternoon on the beach. Sue Ellen decided on visiting the Annaberg Sugar Plantation Ruins, it was on the same island, it was historic and interesting, and it incorporated the scenic walk she wanted to do. JR was a little surprised at how interested she was when they visited the site, reading every plaque and looking carefully at the ruins themselves, he hadn't realised that she was interested in history. "I may have been an English major in college, but I took my fair share of history classes too", she explained as she caught him watching her with interest, he didn't even want to know how she'd guessed his thoughts, just accepting her answer to his question, he had a few things to learn about his wife. Returning to their resort, they changed into their swimsuits and headed down to the beach, relaxing in the sun and swimming in the ocean for the majority of the afternoon. "It's funny, I thought I'd be more tired after that walk today, but I feel wide awake", Sue Ellen casually commented as she dried herself after her shower, she'd been a little disappointed when JR hadn't joined her, but she wasn't going to let it affect her mood. JR looked up at her in surprise, had she already finished her shower? He'd been meaning to join her, but he'd gotten distracted by his phone call to the concierge about dinner reservations. He stood and walked toward her, taking the towel out of her hands and gently drying her body, "funny that, I'm feeling wide awake too. Now that an afternoon nap is ruled out, I suppose we'll just have to find some way to entertain ourselves", he looked into her eyes, his hands dropping the towel but not their contact on her skin. Sue Ellen shivered as his skilled hands touched her, "hm, and what do you suggest?" she looked up at him for a moment before he kissed her, she had her answer.

It was Thursday morning and as Sue Ellen woke up she looked over toward JR, she expected him to be awake already and she was surprised when she saw him still asleep, though she realised why as she looked at the clock, it was still early. She watched his chest move up and down steadily and looked at how the lines around his eyes were relaxed; he looked so peaceful when he was sleeping. She could almost see little pieces of the young boy that he once was, he wasn't in control of himself when he slept, his waking façade of confidence and cunningness was gone; not many people ever saw him this way and she felt privileged to be one of them. She was sure that when Miss Ellie saw her son sleeping, she probably saw the little boy that she'd once known, the one that had been handed off to his father too soon and had been hurt by his parents actions. She felt terrible for JR sometimes, he never really spoke directly about his childhood, but she knew, she knew it wasn't a totally happy one; in some ways, they were perfectly suited for one another, her own childhood hadn't been the picture of happiness either. Being married to JR felt right, he loved her and she loved him, neither of them expressed disappointment that the other didn't live up to some insane standard they'd set in their mind; Sue Ellen hoped that it stayed this way forever, that their love for each other never morphed into something destructive and unlike love. JR rolled over, slowly waking himself up, "good morning", he whispered as he opened his eyes and saw her lovingly watching him, "good morning. I love you", she leaned over and kissed him, content to just kiss him if he was still sleepy, she didn't need anything more, she just wanted to show him how much she loved him.

To be continued…


	106. Ladylike Tendencies

**Saint Thomas, United States Virgin Islands**

Sue Ellen gleefully walked through the stores, there were a variety of goods for sale and she'd been enjoying the new knowledge that everything was duty free, making the designer items even cheaper than they were back in Dallas. It wasn't that JR couldn't afford to buy her full priced items, but she still had somewhat of a budget-friendly mind-set, her mother had always taught her to shop smartly, to think about what she had and how any new item would fit with her existing ones. Even when JR had been supporting her financially, after she quit modelling, she had still stayed within her means; but now, she was able to buy whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted and it was a thrill to find so many things for even better prices than she would get back home. JR watched her shop, fascinated by the whole process she went through before even deciding to try the clothing on. She would feel the fabric, close her eyes, picturing how it would fit with anything she owned already, if it didn't, she would think about what kind of things she would need to buy to go with it, and then she'd look at the item again, deciding whether it was worthy of being taken to the dressing room. Watching Sue Ellen was interesting just for the thought process that went into everything, but he was thankful that he didn't have a sister, he couldn't imagine having to do this when his mother took he and his brothers shopping when they were children, even back then it had been tedious. Sue Ellen sensed that he was probably a little bored after a few hours of watching her shop, and she suggested that they stop for lunch and explore the island in the afternoon. They ate lunch and their waiter suggested that they visit Blackbeard's castle and Fort Christian; JR was more interested in the two sites than he had been in the sugar plantation ruins, the idea of pirates, folklore, cannon fire, and strategic defence were all interesting to him. After looking around the town and finding a restaurant with live entertainment, they made dinner reservations for that evening and then took the ferry back to Saint John.

A few hours later, they returned to the island of Saint Thomas for a night of musical entertainment and dancing. Sue Ellen was happy as they ate dinner and watched the group of dancers move to the music; it was a lot different to the typical dinner entertainment in Dallas and it was difficult not to smile at the general energy and excitement in the music. Calypso and steel drums weren't the type of music that JR was used to dancing to, but after a few drinks and watching the locals and other guests dance, he finally asked Sue Ellen if she wanted to join in. Sue Ellen watched JR, at first, he was a little reserved, but after a while, he realised that they didn't know anyone here and no one was paying attention to him, it wasn't so difficult to enjoy dancing to the music when the pressure was off. They danced together for the rest of the night before taking the last ferry of the night back to Saint John just after midnight.

**Saint John, United States Virgin Islands**

JR awoke as he always did, getting out of bed and taking some pills for his hangover before ordering room service breakfast to be delivered later and collecting the newspaper outside of their door. He decided to let Sue Ellen sleep for a little while longer, she'd drunk just as much as he had last night and probably didn't feel like getting up right now either. He grinned to himself as he saw the red scratch marks on his back as he walked into the bathroom; they'd returned to their resort a little drunk last night and Sue Ellen had shown him a different side of herself, one that was a little rougher and sexier; for some reason, he didn't mind seeing her like that. He thought it would be unappealing to see his prim and proper wife act so blatantly sexual, but he had been the one to initiate it, she'd really just responded to his actions; as long as she let him be in the dominant position and she did things on his terms, he didn't mind her acting like that. He took a quick shower before moving outside to read the newspaper, choosing the balcony of their bedroom over the one connected to the living room, he wanted to make sure that he was close enough for Sue Ellen to find him if she did wake up and wonder where he was.

"JR?" Sue Ellen broke the silence of their walk, they'd just been shopping at Cruz Bay, purchasing a few locally made products and gifts for their families, and they were now just walking through the town, looking at the sights. "In all the excitement of being here, I actually forgot to ask. How long are we staying?" she wanted their honeymoon to last forever, knowing that once they returned to Dallas, their lives would be much busier, it wouldn't just be the two of them anymore. "Unfortunately, we're leaving the day after tomorrow. I have to be back at work on Monday", JR sighed, he was genuinely sad that it had to end so soon; as much as he hated missing out on the business of Ewing Oil, he also really loved the time that they'd spent together on their honeymoon so far. He was also going to miss their daily routine, which on a good day included, morning afternoon and evening bedroom activities. The general idea of privacy was a bonus of the honeymoon too, at Southfork everyone was in each other's business. "Oh", Sue Ellen replied sadly, she'd hoped that they'd stay longer, but she understood why they had to leave, JR was the vice president of Ewing Oil, and a week away from work meant that he had to catch up on everything when he returned home. JR noticed her reaction, "hey, we're not leaving just yet, so don't get all sad on me. I want to enjoy the time we do have left", he smiled at her and lightly kissed her lips before continuing to walk down the street. Sue Ellen realised that he was right, they couldn't change it, so worrying about the time they did have was pointless, she should just accept it and enjoy the moment.

They returned to their resort and had lunch at one of the beachside restaurants before deciding to take advantage of the hotel facilities, playing two games of tennis before deciding to spend the rest of the afternoon at the swimming pool. "JR!" Sue Ellen gasped as he took his shirt off while they changed into their swimsuits; JR turned as he heard her shocked gasp, unsure about why she was pointing at him. "Did…did I do that?" she was worried that she'd hurt him last night, he had red scratch marks on his back; JR smiled at her, she really was naively innocent, "yes. But don't worry, you didn't hurt me". He wasn't sure how to explain it in a way that didn't go into specific details about why it was more pleasure than pain; Sue Ellen watched him as he spoke, he didn't seem to be upset with her, but she was confused, she didn't understand. "I promise, I'm fine", he walked over to her and kissed her softly, maybe he'd have to be gentler with her, she was obviously not completely comfortable with everything; his initial thoughts about her total ladylike temperament were right, she was much too proper to enjoy anything like that.

To be continued…


	107. Homecoming

**Saint John, United States Virgin Islands**

They spent their final day relaxing at the resort and surrounding area; first playing two games of tennis in the morning, then taking a long lunch at a waterfront restaurant near their resort. They took a long, leisurely walk along the beach after lunch before relaxing at the swimming pool for the remainder of the afternoon, enjoying the poolside drinks service. Sue Ellen sighed happily as they returned to their villa after dinner, they'd had a perfect, relaxing day and the final dinner of their honeymoon had been wonderful; she couldn't believe they were leaving tomorrow, the week had passed much too quickly for her liking. Sue Ellen stood outside on the balcony, waiting for JR to return, he'd suggested that they have a drink before going to bed, though he was sure that whatever they did would lead them to the bedroom anyway. As she stood alone outside, she contemplated what their life would be like once they returned to Dallas; JR would return to work and would probably be busy, it was her wifely duty to support him with anything he needed and she completely understood and accepted that his job was stressful and time-consuming. Personally, she would join the DOA with Miss Ellie, she was already an unofficial member, and she'd probably continue some other leisure activity, but she didn't want to make herself too busy, she wanted to be there for JR whenever he needed her. She thought forward a little further than their immediate return to Southfork, she hoped that in a few months they would be adding a new Ewing to the family. She really did want a child and she knew how desperately Jock and Miss Ellie wanted a grandson; so far, everything was perfect, she was enjoying being a wife and hoped that one day soon she would be enjoying motherhood too. JR opened the door to the balcony and walked toward his wife, she was deep in thought again, but this time, she heard him walking toward her, "I love you JR", she whispered as he handed her drink to her. It was times like these that he never quite knew what to say, she was obviously reacting to something bigger than just them in the moment, but he didn't know what it was, "I love you too", it was always an appropriate thing to say and he meant it, he did love her and he would always love her.

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen yawned as their flight landed, returning from a trip always seemed longer and more tiring than the beginning, it was just after five in the evening local time, but it felt much later. Walking through the arrivals gate, they were welcomed by the family; Jock, Ellie and Lucy were there waiting for them, Bobby was still at college and hadn't been able to come home for the weekend, but Jock assured them that he said hello. They arrived back and Southfork and Lucy jumped straight into asking them about their trip, waiting to see what kind of gifts they'd brought back for her. "Hush Lucy, I'm sure you'll be pleased with whatever you are given", Miss Ellie tried to calm her granddaughter, Sue Ellen looked a little tired from travelling, and dealing with Lucy right now probably wasn't ideal. Sue Ellen changed her expression, not wanting to appear impolite, "yes Lucy, I'm sure you'll love everything we brought back for you", they drank their drinks while Teresa unpacked their suitcases and then Sue Ellen asked JR to help her bring the gifts downstairs. Entering their bedroom, she realised that this was another moment she should memorize, it was actually 'their' bedroom finally, though right now, the decoration was still very much 'JR's room'. JR watched her mood change as they entered the bedroom, no longer tired, she appeared to be more dreamy than anything, "is everything all right darlin'?" she turned slowly as she heard his voice, "it's silly", she blushed, he probably wouldn't think anything of it, but in her mind, it was something important. "Tell me, I'd like to know", he encouraged her, he was curious about her sudden change of mood; "well, this room, it's ours now", he smiled at her, she really did take small things seriously, but he didn't mind, he liked that she was so pleased about their marriage. "So it is", he looked around, "I suppose I messed up then didn't I?" she looked at him confusedly as he took her hand and pulled her out of the room, "JR?" her question was answered when he picked her up and carried her over the threshold, just like he'd done on their wedding night. She giggled as he held her, she loved him and it was apparent that he loved her, she kissed him as he placed her back on the floor before she pulled away, "I suppose we should go downstairs now" she spoke, before gathering the gifts for the family and walking downstairs with JR.

JR awoke on Monday morning, groaning as he realised that he actually did have to get up today, he wasn't on honeymoon anymore. His father had told him all about the week he'd missed at the office and he was excited to get back to work, he really did love the oil business, but he also loved his wife, and leaving her side right now wasn't what he felt like doing. He was a little annoyed with his body clock at times like these, he didn't actually need to be awake this early in the morning, breakfast wasn't until eight, but he'd always woken up at this time, it was just a natural routine now. He sat up and drank from the glass on his bedside table before laying back down, trying to decide whether he should wake-up his wife. On one hand, she was probably tired from the trip and didn't deserve to be woken up early for no reason, but on the other hand, their mornings were always better when they started the day right, and she didn't like waking up alone. He decided to let her choose what to do, she'd set her alarm clock for when she really needed to be up, and that gave them plenty of time to do other things if she wanted to, or she could choose to sleep for the remaining minutes before they actually had to get up. He leaned over, kissing her neck and cheek before moving to her lips; Sue Ellen began to stir, she was still a little sleepy, but his attention was quickly energizing her, "good morning" he whispered as he kissed her lips lightly, waiting for her to make the next move and decide where they'd take their actions. Sue Ellen was still a little self-conscious about so much intimate attention when she was sure she looked a mess, but she was slowly realising that JR really didn't care about that, she kissed him back and she soon forgot all about her prior concerns.

JR and Jock arrived at the Ewing Oil offices, having driven in together so that Jock could explain everything he missed in detail; JR was happy to spend a little time alone with his father, he finally felt like things were really good between them and Jock had even made a few comments about JR's future presidency of Ewing Oil. Things were on the right path, he had a wife and now he just needed a son; Jock wanted to make sure that Ewing Oil would always be owned and operated by Ewings, he wanted JR to secure the future of the Ewing name before he handed over all the control and responsibility to JR. The workday went well and JR was able to work fast and catch-up with everything he'd missed during his week away; he was happy that they'd chosen February to get married, it wasn't the busiest time of year and it was manageable to deal with. Sue Ellen and Miss Ellie went shopping in Dallas and then had afternoon tea with a few of the DOA ladies; Sue Ellen enjoyed the company of the women, they weren't necessarily her friends, but it was nice to have other women to relate to. Things were different now, she was actually someone, she was a Ewing; she already felt more accepted with the DOA women than she had with her book club and tennis friends in Austin; it was amazing that through the simple act of marrying JR, her whole outlook on her social life had changed, she felt good. JR and Jock returned to Southfork after work and JR was pleased to see the way Sue Ellen reacted to his arrival, it made him feel special and loved to know that she was there waiting for him to return and she would always be there. She actually liked to hear about the little details of his day and he liked sharing those things with her; it was nice to have someone who would always be on his side.

To be continued…


	108. Guilty Pleasure

**Dallas, Texas**

"I missed you. How was your day?", Sue Ellen asked as she hugged her husband as he stood in the Southfork driveway having just come home from work; JR enjoyed their new routine where she was always there to greet him; it made him feel good to know that he was someone else's number one priority. Getting married was a big change in his life, he never thought that he'd actually look forward to coming home at the end of the day, or actually want to have just one woman, but so far, he hadn't even thought about his old life, his new one was too satisfying. They walked into the house together and JR said hello to his mother before excusing himself upstairs to get ready for dinner; Sue Ellen waited a few moments before making her own excuse to follow him upstairs. She didn't want the family to know exactly what they were planning to do, what they usually did when he returned home from work. Although it was completely normal for a newlywed couple to want to be close to each other, she felt like it wasn't polite to be too obvious about their intentions. JR went along with her wishes even though he wasn't as shy as she was, he had no problem just taking her upstairs with him, no excuse needed. Out of respect to her, he'd usually request some silly thing like her help picking out a tie for dinner, or he'd leave the room and wait for Sue Ellen to make some excuse for why she had to go upstairs too, he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable about it and he knew she was still a little shy.

Lucy Ewing walked out of her bedroom excited about showing off the new dress Sue Ellen and her grandma had bought for her earlier in the week; she was pleased when she spotted Sue Ellen walking up the staircase, "Sue Ellen!" Lucy's excited voice made Sue Ellen jump, she had one thing on her mind and it wasn't Lucy. "Sue Ellen, I love this new dress you bought me", Lucy twirled in the hallway and Sue Ellen smiled, "I'm glad", normally she would have a little more time for the child, but she hadn't seen JR all day and he'd looked so good just a few minutes ago when he returned from work, she couldn't wait to see him again. "I'm not sure about these shoes though. Do you think you could help me to pick out another pair of shoes to go with the dress?" she liked having a younger female around the house and she wanted to spend time with her. Sue Ellen sighed, she really wouldn't mind spending time with Lucy at a different time of the day, but not right now, "well I'm a little busy right now, but the shoes look lovely, I don't think it's a problem. How about after dinner, you and I spend a little time together and I'll help you select some more outfits for the week, complete with shoes and everything", she wanted to offer an alternative plan before Lucy got upset that she couldn't spend time with her right now. Lucy sighed as Sue Ellen told her she was busy, she had thought that having Sue Ellen around permanently would mean that she would have a friend at Southfork, someone to hang out with when she got lonely, but she had been wrong, it was only like that sometimes. When her uncle JR was home, Sue Ellen was always with him and she didn't have time for Lucy. She did perk up a little about their after dinner plans, but she knew that Sue Ellen was only offering that time because Jock and JR usually discussed business for a while after dinner, Sue Ellen had no other plans at that time, Lucy felt like she was second-best.

JR heard the sounds of Lucy and Sue Ellen in the hallway, he waited a moment before getting impatient, cocktails were in forty minutes and he wanted to enjoy his time with his wife before it was family time again. "Sue Ellen?" he opened the door and walked out into the hallway and Sue Ellen gasped at how handsome he looked; she loved his messy, casual look, his tie loosened, his sleeves rolled up and his shirt buttons undone enough to reveal part of his chest. "Lucy, be a good girl and go and see grandma; Sue Ellen will help you later", he'd heard part of their conversation and had no problem telling Lucy to leave them alone, this was his time with his wife and he wasn't going to have her monopolize it. "But…" she wanted to argue, she and Sue Ellen hadn't finished speaking yet, "no buts. Go play now, by yourself, downstairs with mama, or Teresa, or anyone. Sue Ellen is busy now and she'll help you later" he replied sternly, he wasn't in the mood to argue with a child, he didn't really care where she went as long as she left them alone. "I'll see you later Sue Ellen", Lucy glared at JR and then ran toward the stairs, she hated the way JR would say things, it was his tone more than his words. "No running!" JR shouted after her, he wouldn't have her falling down the stairs on his watch. His own parents weren't too good at disciplining her, so he always felt like it was partially his responsibility to parent her and be the sensible adult when it came to the youngest Ewing. If he let her run down the hallway and she fell, his father would definitely find a way to blame him rather than Lucy. Sue Ellen watched as the two interacted, she believed that JR just wanted what was best for his niece, and she was being a little bratty right now, so of course he had to shout at her. She blushed as she felt a small pang in her lower abdomen, in an indirect way, his show of power was a turn-on and she was even more attracted to him now than she had been a few minutes ago. "Damn child's gonna break her neck one day, she won't be so disobedient then", he mumbled under his breath as he watched Lucy change her pace and start to walk down the stairs before he turned his attention back to his wife. He was half expecting Sue Ellen to be sympathetic toward Lucy, the two seemed to have a good relationship so far and he was a little harsh, but as he turned back toward her, he was shocked to see the way she was looking at him. Taking her hand, he pulled her into their bedroom, slamming the door shut as he pushed her against it; there would be no further discussion.

Jock Ewing parked his car in the driveway and started to walk toward the house before stopping for a moment as he heard a loud noise; "JR!" he grinned to himself as he looked up at the partially open balcony door as heard the pleasured cry. JR was a very lucky man, and Jock hoped that soon he would be too; from the sounds of it, a Ewing grandson wouldn't be too far away. Half an hour later, the family gathered for cocktails, Lucy was still sulking but neither Jock or Miss Ellie really noticed, they were both more aware of the two Ewings who were late, though neither of them minded their lateness, they both knew exactly what the newlyweds had been doing upstairs. Both Jock and Miss Ellie were happy that JR finally seemed to be settled and family-oriented, and they hoped that there would soon be a new addition to the family; if getting a grandson meant a few late arrivals to pre-dinner cocktails then that was a small price to pay. Upstairs, Sue Ellen rushed to fix her hair and makeup; she was always happy when JR was kind and gentle with her, but the rare times he changed things around, his rougher dominant side always pleasantly surprised her. She was a romantic at heart, but sometimes she wasn't interested in romance in the bedroom, and tonight had been one of those times; JR was always the dominant one in their relationship, but at times like these when he was totally in control, it was even more exhilarating and thrilling. There was just something about him having complete control over her that she found appealing; of course, she wouldn't want it like that all the time, she loved when he was kind and romantic, but every once in a while it was exciting to do something different. JR watched her brush her hair as he tied his tie; she didn't look upset, and she certainly hadn't acted like she was troubled by his actions, but he felt guilty. Sitting in front of the mirror was a lady, his wife, not some tramp who he paid to act out his sexual fantasies. He hated the idea that he was cheapening her with his actions; she was so pure and innocent when he married her, and he wanted her to stay that way; he was far from pure or innocent and he felt like he was spoiling her respectable, ladylike being every time he slipped and accidentally lost control. It wasn't necessarily her fault, it was of his doing, she'd just looked at him that way and he'd reacted; he scolded himself for not being able to control his own behaviour. That was the one thing he never wanted to lose, he always wanted to be the one in control, the level-headed one; it gave him the upper hand in business, when other people were fretting about little things, he was taking control of the bigger picture. However, this wasn't business, it was personal, she was a lot more fragile than a business opponent, and he cared about how his actions affected her; he didn't want her to be distressed or upset, and he always wanted her to know that he loved her. He hated that he let himself get carried away, that part of his life was supposed to be over, he was married now and husbands and wives didn't do things like that, husbands were supposed to be supportive and loving, not dominant and controlling. It was a complex problem, she didn't look upset at all, but he felt more guilty than he had in a long time. "JR?" she now stood beside him, he jumped a little as he heard his name, he hadn't seen her stand up or walk toward him, "are you all right?" JR nodded, pushing the thoughts out of his mind for now, "yes darlin'. Are you ready?" She thought something was a little different about him, but it was probably best if they didn't start a discussion right now, it was almost dinnertime; she nodded and they walked downstairs together to join the family.

To be continued…


	109. Miscommunication

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen sighed as she dressed in pajama pants and a tank top, the comfortable and less revealing sleepwear that she wore once a month. Her sigh wasn't about being upset about the process itself, she was more sad about what it represented; she wasn't pregnant and she was afraid that she'd disappointed her husband. JR sat in bed wondering what was taking Sue Ellen so long, he only had to wash his face and brush his teeth before changing clothes and getting into bed, it didn't seem like women should have that much more to do, but somehow it took a lot longer. "Darlin', are you all right in there?" he stood and called through the bathroom door, he wasn't sure whether it was just Sue Ellen being a woman and taking her time, or whether she was upset about something. She'd seemed a little distant all day, she'd gotten up before him this morning and she'd only hugged him when he came home from work, it wasn't what he was used to; they'd been married for almost a month and it was never like this before. Slowly, Sue Ellen opened the door, "I'm fine. Come on, let's go to bed", she walked past him and pulled the sheets back, getting into bed and waiting for him to join her. JR was confused, she never wore pajama pants, always nightgowns, and she never just walked past him like that, usually she'd hug him or kiss him, something to show that she cared; he switched off the light and joined her. JR lay in bed, unsure about what to do, he didn't want to try approach her again only to be rejected, he'd already asked her what was wrong and she'd brushed him off, but he also didn't want to go to sleep with her upset or angry with him; this wasn't something he had a lot of experience with.

Sue Ellen heard him getting restless and realised that she was probably making him uncomfortable, something a wife should never do, he worked much too hard to worry about her problems. "I'm sorry, it's my problem, not yours", she whispered and turned over to face him, although it was dark and she couldn't really see him, it was nice to know that he was there. "There's no problem that I can't fix, it's obviously bothering you, so tell me and I'll make it better", he hoped that he was doing the right thing, no one had ever really taught him how to properly deal with emotions and he'd never encountered the kind of feelings he had with Sue Ellen. She began to tear up, not just for one reason, it was everything; he really could be so sweet when he wanted to, it was a shame that no one ever believed her, she felt so privileged to be loved by him; he was everything she ever wanted in a husband. That was why she was so afraid of disappointing him by not giving him what he wanted, by not making the family proud; he gave her everything, and she felt like she never gave him anything. "Don't cry" he pulled her closer to him, now more confused than ever, he didn't have a clue why she was so upset; his kindness only made her more emotional, she felt like she didn't deserve to be treated so well. "I'm sorry", she whispered, vaguely apologising for both her current state and the actual problem, though it didn't do much to settle JR's mind; JR sighed, "Sue Ellen, please, just tell me what's wrong", he wasn't sure how long he could comfort her without knowing the reason for her tears, he hated not being in the know. "I'm sorry, I feel like I failed you and the family, especially your daddy, I know how much you both wanted it", she mumbled incoherently, he didn't have a clue what she was talking about, "my daddy? Darlin', what does he have to do with all of this?" he still couldn't work out what was making her so upset. Sue Ellen stopped crying, realising that she was probably making no sense, he didn't seem to understand where she was coming from, "I…I'm not pregnant. I'm sorry JR", she looked at him as she spoke before lowering her head, she was ashamed, she'd assumed that with all of their activity since the wedding, she would have no problem giving him the ultimate gift, a son. But with the arrival of her monthly 'friend' this morning, she realised that she'd have to wait a little while longer, she had been feeling terrible all day, both physically and emotionally.

JR was almost relieved when she told him why she was so upset, at least it was something he could fix, they'd only been married for a month, there was plenty of time for them to get things right and have a child. It was too early for anyone to ask those questions anyway, even if she was pregnant, they wouldn't know it for a few months. "Shh, calm down darlin', it's all right, you're stressing for no reason. You didn't fail me; of course I want a son, but it will happen when it happens. There's no point in getting upset about it now. We've only been married for a little while, not even daddy expects it to happen that quickly. I promise, no one is upset with you, we all love you", he hugged her, hoping that his words were the right thing to say, he was a little out of his depth right now. Sue Ellen's heart leapt as she listened to his words, he had an amazing way of making everything seem fine; he was right, they had only been married a few weeks, no one was truly expecting the news just yet. Her thoughts were caused by the pressure that she felt from all sides, especially from Jock Ewing, the man was convinced that there would soon be another Ewing at Southfork and she had convinced herself that it would happen quickly. She honestly hadn't even thought about the possibility that she may not get pregnant soon after they were married. From what she understood, she was young, healthy and they weren't doing anything to prevent it, it was only a matter of time before it did happen. JR's words combined with her new, rational thoughts calmed her, she felt reassured that she was stressing unnecessarily, it would happen when the time was right and she shouldn't worry about it right now. "Thank you JR" she hugged him and lightly kissed his lips, relaxing in his arms, he was her husband and he loved her, he wasn't disappointed or upset with her, she realised that now.

JR felt her relax and he wondered whether it would be all right to resume their normal bedtime activities now that she wasn't upset anymore, he liked finishing the day with a smile on his face, and they hadn't even gotten close to that today, he was already missing the intimate attention that he'd become accustomed to. "Sue Ellen" he whispered as she snuggled into his side, she lifted her head at his words and he took the opportunity to kiss her, he would see how she responded before taking it any further, but he'd take what he could get right now. She was a little surprised when he kissed her, she assumed that he'd want to avoid too much intimate contact with her right now, they wouldn't be able to go all the way and she didn't think he'd want to get excited for no reason. She kissed him back anyway, it felt natural and good and she was happy to take whatever he was offering. His hands slowly moved to her tank top, sliding underneath and pushing it upwards with the intention of taking it off, Sue Ellen jumped a little as his hands touched her bare skin; he was taking things further than she'd anticipated. "JR" she gently pushed his hand off her, it was all very confusing, she'd assumed that men would want to avoid contact at times like these, but he seemed to be going forward as if he didn't care and she wasn't sure that she was entirely comfortable with it. Her mother was very traditional and she had always made her feel like it was another dirty, unmentionable part of life and that she should avoid doing anything delicate when she had her monthly visitor. JR was confused, she was hot and cold tonight, he didn't know what her problem was right now, they'd fixed the emotional problem, or he thought they had, and he assumed that that meant they could resume a normal relationship. "What's wrong?" he stopped his actions for a moment, "I don't think you should do that, we can't go any further", he looked at her in confusion as she spoke, "why not?" Sue Ellen blushed, she thought that their earlier conversation had explained that clearly, but he obviously didn't understand, "erm… women's problems", she lowered her face, blushing and hoping that he understood, she wasn't sure she could explain it any further, it wasn't something she ever really spoke about and certainly not with a man.

JR wanted to kick himself for not realising before, he'd stupidly assumed that a doctor had told her she wasn't pregnant, but he now realised that it was something much simpler than that, it all made sense now, even her new sleepwear, "I'm sorry, I didn't realise". He felt silly for not connecting the dots earlier, he'd never been in a situation like this before; a steady, committed relationship was a new thing for him; he assumed that in the past, women just avoided getting his attention when they were in that situation, because he couldn't recall ever being told no for that reason. Sue Ellen felt a little bad for him, he probably had no experience with that kind of thing and she hadn't been very clear in her words, "it's all right, you didn't know". She looked him in the eyes and moved her body closer to his again, she still wanted to be close to him, that hadn't changed. She was conflicted, she didn't really know what to do now; she could feel his semi-excited state and knew that he had to be disappointed right now, she felt like a tease for taking it to that point and then telling him no. The thought of helping him finish crossed her mind, but she didn't want him to react like he had in Corpus Christi, he seemed to think it wasn't ladylike for her to do that and she wasn't going to risk it again. JR felt her move closer to him and for a moment, he really hated the standards he had in his mind, physically he wanted her, but emotionally he didn't want her to even attempt to fix the physical need in another way, it wasn't right, but he hated himself for thinking that way. "Sue Ellen…" he whispered and she looked him in the eyes, for a moment, he was tempted to just ask her, but something stopped him, "good night" he lightly kissed her and closed his eyes. He didn't know how he was supposed to act right now; he was mad at himself for not comprehending her words and he was mad at himself for making a move toward her afterwards. He rolled over, facing away from her and tried to calm himself down; in the moment, he really hated that he thought so highly of her, because there was a much easier solution to his problem. Unfortunately for him, he couldn't bring himself to ask her to do that, it wasn't an action worthy of a classy lady like Sue Ellen and he wasn't going to lower her to that. Sue Ellen would have been hurt by his actions if she hadn't had prior experience with this side of him before; she knew that there was a massive internal struggle happening with JR right now, he was treating her this way because he loved her, not because he was trying to make her feel bad. She closed her eyes and went to sleep, hoping that things would be back to normal again soon.

To be continued…


	110. Thanks, but no thanks

**Dallas, Texas**

JR looked at the calendar and took a drink, only one day longer. Sunday was the day he'd been waiting for and he was excited, waiting in eager anticipation. After their little talk, Sue Ellen had suggested that she visit her mother and sister in Austin for a few days. It was actually quite perfectly timed, she and JR had a few days apart without temptation and frustration, her mother got the visit she'd been insisting on, and Sue Ellen was returning on Sunday morning, just in time for their one month wedding anniversary. There was a knock at the door and Jock entered the room, "JR, the geologists are here, we're meeting in my office", his thoughts were drawn back to business and he followed his father out of the room.

After the meeting, the other men left the office and only Jock, JR and Julie remained; Julie made her way around the table clearing glasses and coffee mugs and straightening up the furniture, she took her job as Jock's secretary seriously and she would never want to leave the office in a mess. "I say we move on those three today, we know we want them, and they'll be great buys in the long run. We've done all the surveys, and we know we can get the permits, I don't think we need to think about it any further. If we don't do it quickly then someone else will beat us to it", JR nervously waited for his father's reply, he said that he trusted him to make decisions, but the real test of his trust was in his actions. If Jock didn't listen to JR and move on the three fields today, then he wasn't really as confident as he wanted JR to believe; "I think you're right. Julie, get Tex Jackson on the line, he has property, we have money, it's a deal waiting to happen". JR grinned as his father backed him, he finally felt accomplished, his father was taking him seriously in his own pursuits, and not just the ones he was assigned. This deal was one he'd found and investigated himself and he was almost positive that there was oil on that land, his father's trust and confidence in his ability would not go to waste and he would not be disappointed, JR knew exactly what he was doing.

JR packed up his things and said goodbye to his father and the secretaries before getting in the elevator to go home. Julie watched as the elevator doors closed and took it as her cue to leave too, if she could 'accidentally' bump into JR in the parking lot, she would hopefully be able to convince him to go for a drink with her; their after work drinks usually ended in one place, the bedroom. There was just something about JR that made her crazy with desire, she wanted him so badly and she hated that he'd rejected her in favour of another woman, especially a perfectly boring girl like Sue Ellen, she didn't understand what he saw in her. She'd overheard Jock and JR discussing Sue Ellen's visit to Austin and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to try her luck with JR again, he may love Sue Ellen, but she knew exactly how much he enjoyed their time together too. She knew a million ways to satisfy JR Ewing, and they'd taken her a lot longer than the month to learn; JR and Sue Ellen had only been married for a month, there was no way he enjoyed being with Sue Ellen as much as he did her. The elevator reached the ground floor and she walked toward the parking lot; seeing JR in the distance, she walked a little faster, hoping to catch up to him. "JR!" he heard someone call his name and turned around, slightly surprised but not totally shocked that Julie had followed him out of the office, he knew she missed him and wanted him, and he had noticed the way she'd been looking at him all day, their meeting in the parking lot wasn't entirely coincidental. He stopped walking and waited for her to come to him, he wasn't going to accept any responsibility in making moves, "Julie" he smiled at her, waiting to see exactly how she would approach the subject.

**Austin, Texas**

Kristin's eyes lit up as she unwrapped and opened the boxes that Sue Ellen had brought with her to Austin; Kristin had decided she was able to deal with Sue Ellen's new lifestyle and her mother's lack of attention, as long as she benefitted from it in some way. The new dresses and toys Sue Ellen had bought for her were making it a lot easier to deal with the constant talk of Southfork, the DOA, shopping sprees, JR and the Ewings. Patricia beamed as her youngest daughter opened all of the expensive gifts; Sue Ellen had finally done something worth celebrating, her marriage to JR Ewing was already proving lucrative for their family. She had devised the plan over twenty years ago and it had finally panned out, if she couldn't find herself a wealthy man to marry, her daughters were the next best thing. All of the time, energy and money she had put into making Sue Ellen the perfect wife had finally paid off and she couldn't be happier, all of her sacrifices finally felt like they were worth it. Sue Ellen watched the joy on her sister's face as she opened all of her gifts and it felt nice to know that she was the source of that happiness. She had initially resisted the idea that marrying a wealthy man was the answer to all of their problems, but she couldn't deny that money seemed to make everyone a lot happier and more pleasant; even her mother's company was somewhat pleasurable, she no longer felt like a constant disappointment and that was a wonderful feeling to have. "Thank you Sue Ellen", Kristin smiled at her sister, genuinely pleased with her new possessions and in a good mood, "you're welcome" Sue Ellen replied. She wasn't sure whether Kristin was really pleased and being polite or she was just a good actress, her sister could be a brat at times, but she knew exactly when manners would get her further than petulance. Kristin stood and hugged Sue Ellen, something she rarely did, the Shepard family weren't big physical affection people; Sue Ellen was caught by surprise but smiled when she realised that her sister was actually showing some kind of love for her, it wasn't often that they had moments like this in their relationship.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR awoke on Saturday morning and reached out for his wife, it had become a habit to pull her close when they were sleeping, it wasn't a totally sexual thing, he didn't mind even if it didn't go any further than cuddling, he just liked to know that she was there. As his arm reached out across the bed but failed to touch her, his mind quickly realised where he was and where his wife was; he was alone in their bed at Southfork and she was in Austin at her mother's house, he would have to wait until tomorrow before he could hold her. He decided to get out of bed, it was no use trying to go back to sleep and there wasn't anything exciting happening in his bedroom this morning, so getting up was the most logical thing to do. As he shaved, he thought about their few days apart and how it had made him feel, he never thought a woman could have the effect on him that Sue Ellen seemed to, he actually missed her just being there. He enjoyed having someone there to listen to him, support him, someone who thought so highly of him and wanted him, someone who loved him even with all of his flaws; he hadn't expected to get all of those things in a wife. He'd always assumed that a wife was just a pretty adornment, someone who made him look good and provided him with marital pleasures, a woman to provide an heir to the family name and fortune; but with Sue Ellen, he'd gotten so much more and he felt like the luckiest man in the world. He laughed to himself as he thought about Julie's offer yesterday, for half a second, he had been tempted, Julie had a lot to offer, but then he realised that he'd gotten first prize and he didn't want to settle for second. "I'm a happily married man", he'd told her, and he meant it, he was married and satisfied, he didn't need anyone else. "Just one drink; it's Friday and I know your wife isn't waiting at home for you", she'd replied; the old him would have gone for that drink with her, knowing exactly where it was leading, but he was really trying to be a good husband, he didn't want some meaningless encounter to ruin his marriage. Julie had already come between he and Sue Ellen once before, he wouldn't let that happen again. On top of his loyalty to Sue Ellen and their marriage vows, he disliked the insistent tone that Julie had, he didn't like when women assumed they were in control, he was always the decision maker and very rarely did he ever give up that position, he certainly wouldn't have Julie Grey telling him what to do. "Goodnight Julie" he'd ended their conversation by walking away from her, and he felt proud that he had been able to say no, he had never thought of himself as the marrying type, but so far he was proving himself wrong, it was one of the few times he actually enjoyed being wrong. He finished shaving and moved to the shower, his thoughts returning to Sue Ellen in Austin, he missed her and wished that he were with her. Finishing his shower, he realised that it was Saturday and he had no real plans, he could go and see her if he wanted to, he was rich, there was nothing stopping him from flying down to Austin. What use was owning a jet if he didn't do something fun with it occasionally? He laughed to himself as he made the plans, JR Ewing wasn't usually spontaneous, but it felt good today.

To be continued...


	111. A Chance Encounter

**Austin, Texas**

JR rang the doorbell and waited, Sue Ellen's car wasn't in the driveway, but he hoped that it was just because they'd sold her car when she moved to Dallas, not because she wasn't home. He stood on the doorstep waiting, silently annoyed with himself for not calling first, he could have at least enquired about her plans for the day without telling her that he would be visiting, if she had plans and was out all day, then he'd just wasted a trip to Austin. His thoughts were pushed out of his mind as he heard voices inside and the door began to open, "JR, how lovely to see you. Please, come in" Patricia smiled as she invited her son-in-law into their home, she was being a lot friendlier than JR had ever seen her before and he wasn't sure what to think of her new attitude. As he walked into the living room, he began to regret his decision, Sue Ellen didn't seem to be home and he couldn't think of anything worse than having to spend the day speaking to Patricia Shepard. "Please, have a seat, I'll tell Sue Ellen to make an extra cup of coffee", he breathed a sigh of relief as she mentioned Sue Ellen, she was just in the kitchen preparing the coffee. An hour later, they had covered all the polite topics of conversation and JR was ready to leave, he loved his wife, but socialising with her family was draining, this wasn't how he'd envisioned spending their Saturday together. His prayers were answered when Patricia announced that it had been nice talking to him, but she had to take Kristin to her dance class; finally, he and Sue Ellen had a moment alone together.

"JR Ewing? Is that you?" he panicked as he heard the woman call his name and approach their table, Sue Ellen was just in the bathroom and would be back any minute, and he really didn't want to explain his connection with the other woman. "Amber, how nice to see you. How are you?" he smiled back, though he couldn't care less about how she was, they only had one connection, and it wasn't one that really required social niceties. In the light of day, it seemed as if they were two old friends saying hello, but both knew that their friendship was one in name only, their relationship was purely business, but not the kind of business that one would speak about openly. "I'm good; you know how the business is. I haven't seen you around lately, don't tell me you're no longer in the oil business", JR smirked, he would never leave the oil business, it was his life, "no, no, I've just been busy in the office with existing deals, but I suspect Ewing Oil will be looking for new business soon". He looked her up and down, they'd had some good times together and it was at that moment that he realised how distant he'd been from the social side of Ewing Oil, he'd hardly been to any business dinners, parties, or private engagements in the past few months. He wasn't sure whether it was of his own doing or whether his father had manipulated it so that he was tied to the office, he really did miss the social scene though, he used to have a lot of fun at those gatherings. Sue Ellen exited the bathroom and noticed her husband speaking to a tall, blonde woman, they seemed to be rather friendly and she wondered what their relationship was, she'd never met the woman before and as far as she knew, JR didn't really have a lot of friends. JR spotted Sue Ellen approaching and adjusted his persona, "I look forward to that", Amber replied, not noticing the young brunette woman approaching them or JR's change as he moved further back from her; "darlin' there you are. I want you to meet Amber, a business acquaintance", Sue Ellen eyed the blonde woman, she didn't look like anyone she'd ever met in the oil industry, but if JR was introducing them, then they had to be just business acquaintances; she wasn't completely sure though, something about the situation was just a little off. "Amber, this is Sue Ellen, my wife", her facials changed as she heard his words, she never thought of JR Ewing as the marrying type, he was a man who liked variety, she just couldn't imagine him settling for one woman for the rest of his life. "How do you do", Sue Ellen spoke, she was taught to always be polite when meeting new people and she wasn't about to let her gut feeling interfere with her behaviour. "Hello", she smiled at Sue Ellen and felt a little bad for her, she seemed like the perfect wife and she just couldn't imagine JR wanting her forever, she would end up hurt one day, "I really must be going, I'll see you around sometime JR, nice to meet you Sue Ellen". She may not be well versed in polite society, but she knew when her presence was not needed and when to exit a situation, she didn't want to cause problems, that wasn't her job and it wouldn't help her, it was better to leave now.

Sue Ellen watched as the woman walked away and she wondered what had happened, the woman had left very quickly and it made her suspicious about what their conversation had been about before she approached them. "JR?" she asked as they sat down again at their table, "yes darlin'?" he knew what was coming and thought fast, he couldn't exactly tell his wife what their real business connection was. "Who was that woman? She doesn't look like a normal oilman", she wanted him to answer honestly, but she also wanted him to give her a reassuring answer, she didn't want her gut feeling to be correct. JR had prepared an answer, "that's because she's not. She works in public relations darlin', so she's not really in the oil business, just the business of keeping oilmen happy"; Sue Ellen wasn't sure what that meant exactly, but it sounded reasonable, and she wasn't going to annoy him by asking multiple questions, it would just make her look paranoid where there seemed to be a perfectly acceptable answer. "Oh, ok" she replied as the waiter arrived with their meals, JR was pleased when she seemed to accept his answer, he had further information planned as a backup, but he didn't really want to spend the afternoon lying to her. "Mmm, perfectly cooked", he complimented the food and Sue Ellen's thoughts moved on from their surprise meeting, she wouldn't spend the afternoon worrying about something that had an innocent explanation, she wouldn't do that to herself or their relationship. JR was her husband and he loved her, he hadn't done anything to make her distrust him and she didn't think it was fair of her to treat him any differently.

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen lay in the hotel bed with a satisfied smile, she couldn't believe that just a month ago she'd been so scared about doing exactly what they'd done tonight, in the very same room as their wedding night; she realised now that it was something to enjoy, not fear. Her mother had done exactly what she'd done her entire life, made everything into a duty and an obligation without explaining the personal satisfaction and joy that could come from the same action, she knew that she had a lot of things to learn on her own, but she hadn't quite realised how many. She was always learning new things about marriage, but so far, it was much more satisfying than she'd been led to believe; she wasn't just acting out of obligation, she actually enjoyed being the supportive wife, it wasn't just something that she had to put up with in order to have access to money and status. Initially she had been wary about JR's experience and her inexperience, but she thought differently now, he was so gentle with her, and he knew exactly where and how to touch her. She was happy to let him take control and she hoped that he enjoyed it as much as she did because she would hate to think that she disappointed him. "I love you JR", she rolled to her side and kissed him lightly, "I love you too Sue Ellen", he replied, and deep down, he meant it, though there was a new feeling emerging on the surface; emotionally he loved her, but physically, he had just realised that he wasn't completely satisfied. His accidental meeting with Amber, one of a group of girls that attended parties to 'entertain' men, really had him thinking about his old life, he loved the freedom and excitement of being a bachelor, and he was beginning to miss that. He was stuck, Sue Ellen was the perfect wife and he was supposed to be a good husband, but he couldn't help but want more, need more.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Response to the guest reviewer who asked about the direction of the story (AU vs canon backstory). It definitely started as a backstory and I am trying to stay reasonably close to the show, but I have a feeling that there are a few details that aren't exactly the same as the show. Things that are different are usually mistakes on my part because I made something up and wrote it, and then when I looked at the DVDs in hindsight I realised it wasn't correct or didn't quite fit. In general though, it is meant to be read as it is taking place in the original Dallas universe. I have a broad outline (but only a few chapters ahead written) of where the story is going and where the characters should end up to make sense with the characters that we met in the pilot episode. I hope that somewhat answers the question and I seek and appreciate any feedback about the story, thanks :)**


	112. The Three B's

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR", Jock burst into his office without knocking, though he was fairly used to it by now, "yes sir", he knew his attention was required immediately, his father had spoken in an insistent tone. "I need you to fly to Midland this afternoon, probably stay a few days, spread around a few B's. Some of the ole boys need a reminder about what doing business with Ewing Oil is all about; how it benefits everyone to deal with us instead of someone else". JR nodded as his father spoke, "yes sir", he grinned, he had definitely missed the social side of the oil business, and a few days spreading a few B's was just what he needed. He had concluded that he and Sue Ellen had been spending too much time together lately, things were more enjoyable when they came together after a long wait, he didn't like when life was too easy. A little time apart was just what they needed, it would give her time to miss him, and it would give him time to remember what his life was like before; he didn't actually plan on partaking in all of the activities he would provide, but there was nothing wrong with enjoying from afar. "Good, go home and pack a few things, the jet will be ready at three. You know what to do", he slapped JR on the back and left the room, he trusted that JR knew exactly what to do; JR had connections and ways of making things happen that he didn't question. Jock didn't care how things happened as long as Ewing Oil reaped the rewards, and they did, in the years that JR had been working for the company they had grown exponentially, they were well on their way to making Ewing Oil the biggest independent oil company in Texas.

"Good idea, the furniture stores will get publicity and the homeless will get beds; it's a win-win. Now, what about food…" the DOA ladies were gathered outside by the Southfork swimming pool for their weekly meeting and Sue Ellen was eagerly listening and joining the conversation. She was enjoying being involved in such important plans, it felt good to be a part of something that mattered. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see a car coming up the driveway and she turned her head to see who it was; "excuse me", she muttered a few quiet words and stood as she realised that JR was home. She had to go see him and find out what was going on; it was strange and unexpected because it was only just past one in the afternoon, he would normally be working at this time. "JR" she arrived at his car just as he was closing the door, "afternoon darlin'", he lightly kissed her and they walked into the house together where he explained that he had to go out of town for a few days on business. Sue Ellen's heart dropped as he told her that he had to leave, she had already experienced a little time without him when she went to her mother's house for a few days, and she wasn't ready for another break yet. "Whatever Ewing Oil needs", she smiled and didn't let on that she was upset, he shouldn't have to worry about her feelings when it came to business, she knew that his job would keep him busy when she married him, her job was to encourage and support him, not nag and make him feel bad. "I have to go and make a few calls now and my flight leaves at three, but I'll be back in a few days", he said as he finished packing everything he would need for his trip, Teresa was busy with the DOA function and he'd elected to just do it himself, he wasn't totally incapable. "Ok", she quietly responded, she couldn't act excited about his sudden trip, but she wasn't going to act negatively either, "call me when you're coming home, I'll pick you up at the airport", she wanted to be helpful, but it seemed as if he didn't need her. "No need darlin', I'll just leave my car at the airport, I don't know when I'll be coming home and I wouldn't want you to go to any trouble", he was in a hurry and he didn't notice her reaction to his words, he didn't need her to start worrying about making plans, he was perfectly able to drive himself. "Oh, ok", she whispered, his argument seemed reasonable, but she felt useless, she didn't like that he was so self-sufficient that he didn't seem to need her for anything. He picked up his suitcase and walked toward the door, "you can come downstairs and kiss me goodbye though", he grinned as he walked out the door and she quickly followed, it wasn't much, but she would do whatever he wanted.

**Midland, Texas**

JR stood in a hotel suite with a group of associates, he was throwing an informal get-together to hopefully make a few deals for Ewing Oil, "gentlemen, gentlemen, have you forgotten your previous experiences with Ewing Oil? We offer so much more than just oil…" he grinned as the men nodded, it always surprised him how it only took a little visit from the Ewing Oil Goodwill Ambassador to loosen the purse strings and get the business relationship flowing again. If they didn't come willingly, then JR had other methods, the three B's were certain to provide enough incriminating evidence that they had to work with Ewing Oil. Booze, broads and booty had a certain way of bringing out both the best and the worst in men; a friend of Ewing Oil had nothing to worry about, but making an enemy of them was a bad idea, especially with JR Ewing running half the business. Ethics were not Jock Ewing's strong suit, but his son, JR Ewing had even less ethical values than his daddy did, he wanted to succeed, and he would do anything necessary to make that happen. "Well…?" the first of the group of men spoke and JR grinned, they were intrigued and his trip wouldn't be for nothing, his daddy would be proud of him when he returned home. "All in good time, but first, let's have a drink", he clicked his fingers and a group of 'waitresses' entered the room, "ladies, get these men a drink, and anything else they'd like"; he would never directly say it, because it wasn't exactly legal, but the women he hired had a lot more skills than regular hotel waitstaff.

**Dallas, Texas**

"Did my husband call?" Sue Ellen asked Teresa as she and Miss Ellie arrived home from their shopping trip; she'd been wary about leaving Southfork for most of the day when she hadn't spoken to JR yet. She didn't want to miss his call, he was a busy man and would probably call when it suited him, she didn't want to inconvenience him by not being available when he did call. "No Mrs Ewing", Teresa replied and Sue Ellen didn't know how to feel, on one hand she was pleased that she hadn't missed his call, but on the other, she was upset that he'd been gone almost twenty-four hours and hadn't called her yet, he hadn't even bothered to tell her he'd arrived safely. "Thank you", she replied and walked inside the house; she unpacked and put away all of her things from the shopping trip and reasoned that his job was obviously time consuming and tiring and he'd probably just forgotten to call. He had probably returned to his hotel room after dinner and gone straight to bed, forgetting and not yet being used to having to call his wife; he had been going on business trips for over a decade, but this was the first one where he had a wife waiting for him at home. He would call when he remembered to and he would be home in a few days, it wasn't the end of the world and she was probably just making a big deal about nothing. She pushed the thoughts out of her mind and walked down the hall to find Lucy and give her the new clothes she had bought for her, that would occupy her thoughts and time for a while.

To be continued…


	113. Business Success

**Midland, Texas**

"Pleasure doing business with you boys", JR nodded and shook hands with each of the men, his little trip had been a success and he'd managed to make agreements with all of the companies involved. Ewing Oil would have a busy few weeks coming up with contract negations and he had guaranteed them business for at least the next two years. "Pleasure doing business with Ewing Oil, your daddy taught you well junior. Say hi to him for me and tell him I'll be seeing him real soon", Mr Williams, a refinery owner, slapped him on the back and shook his hand again; he was very pleased with their agreement; Mr Williams was the oldest of the men and he knew Jock well, but he liked how JR did business. JR went all out to wine, dine and especially entertain potential business partners and he was a no-nonsense negotiator; his company would have signed contracts with Ewing Oil anyway, but he held out, he liked JR's style and he knew that JR wouldn't disappoint in his 'persuasive techniques'. The rest of the men followed suit and left; JR grinned to himself, once again he had proven himself as completely capable, he would make his father proud when he returned home. He took a limousine to the airport and boarded the Ewing jet back to Dallas, finally able to enjoy a moment alone to bask in his success. He looked out the window as he congratulated himself and he grinned as he remembered the way he had celebrated at the end of the night; he didn't feel guilty, he felt relaxed and rejuvenated, it was good for him and his marriage, or so he reasoned. Sue Ellen never had to know, and she never had to experience the side of him that was demanding and domineering; he tried to be gentle, kind and romantic with her, but that behaviour wasn't what came naturally to him all the time and he didn't like treating her any other way. He reasoned that he could preserve her fragile being and true ladylike nature if he occasionally used other women to release his darker desires on; it was ok for him to act on those desires, but as a man, not as a husband.

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR should be home this morning", Jock casually commented to the family over breakfast, in his mind he was just concerned about the business deals that he would be bringing home with him, he didn't even notice the look that crossed Sue Ellen's face, first joy and then confusion. JR hadn't called her once since he'd been away and she didn't know what was wrong, he was busy, but there had to be time when he could spare a few minutes to call and say hello, it wasn't like she needed a long conversation, just something to show that he cared. "Good, and Bobby's coming home for the weekend in a few days, we'll have a nice big family dinner", Miss Ellie optimistically continued the conversation; the mention of big family dinners triggered the question in Jock's mind again, "speaking of family dinners, Sue Ellen, any news you'd like to share with us?" Sue Ellen blushed as he asked the question again, "no sir, not yet anyway", she didn't want to go into a whole conversation; although they were only talking about the future heir as a concept, she felt like everyone was picturing the actual process that went into making an heir, it was embarrassing now that it was real. "Oh, well, you two have only been married for a couple of months I suppose there's still plenty of time for that, I don't doubt you're having fun practicing", he grinned as he stood from the table and excused himself to leave for work and Sue Ellen was thankful when he didn't take the conversation any further. She would love to have a child, but she didn't enjoy constantly talking about it, especially not with her father-in-law, he was quite demanding and she felt like it was a constant pressured waiting game whenever he asked the question, he wanted a grandson and he would keep asking until he got one. It didn't help when he made small references to the act, she was still quite shy about their married status and it felt strange to know that everyone knew she wasn't the pure, innocent virgin anymore. Those qualities and characteristics had been part of her identity for so long and she was still getting used to the idea that no one assumed it of her anymore; it sometimes shocked her that people would make it known that opposite was now true. They didn't necessarily mean to embarrass her, but her mother had raised her to be closed about anything intimate and she wasn't used to people acting so freely, she was beginning to realise that the sexual revolution was a very real thing and not everyone felt the same way she did.

Miss Ellie went to lunch with Mavis and Lucy went to school, but Sue Ellen elected to stay home for the day, she didn't really have any friends in Dallas, and she was hoping that JR would come home to Southfork when his flight landed, not straight to the office. She lay by the pool sunbathing and soon fell asleep, not even rousing when a car parked in the driveway and the driver approached her. JR watched his sleeping wife as she lay outside in the sun, she was so young and beautiful, he felt things for her that he had never felt for anyone else, and seeing her like that just confirmed his previous justifications for his actions. To be a good husband, he needed to treat her like the lady she was, he couldn't cheapen her with his dirty habits, he really was just doing what was best for them, she would never find out and they would both be happy. He sat down next to her and watched her sleeping, time apart had been good for them, he had gotten everything out of his system and he felt good about their marriage; it wasn't as confining and limited as he'd been worried about. She stirred as a hand brushed over her face, gently moving her hair out of her eyes, "JR" she whispered sleepily, still not fully awake or comprehending that he was home; "good morning" he smiled down at her and she smiled back, quickly forgetting that she was upset with him for not calling. "How was your trip?" she sat up and listened as he told her about his successes, it was obvious how pleased he was and she was happy to listen, she only wanted the best for her husband and it gave her great joy to see him so excited.

JR entered the Ewing Oil offices and greeted the secretaries before walking to his father's office; Jock already knew about his successes, but they still had to go over the paperwork and have their customary celebratory drinks. This was a big deal, they'd secured consistent business for at least the next two years and their company would grow substantially with the new dealings; the family business was quickly becoming exactly what he'd always dreamed it would be. Jock was pleased about the timing of everything; JR was married and it wouldn't be long before he had a son and heir; and Bobby was graduating from college next month and would be coming to work for Ewing Oil; together, the three Ewing men would make Ewing Oil great. Jock's intercom buzzed and Julie informed him that JR had arrived and was coming to see him, he stood and poured two drinks, ready to start the afternoon the right way.

To be continued…


	114. Ewing Oil

**Dallas, Texas**

"Congratulations Bobby", Sue Ellen handed him the small gift-wrapped box and card before she sat down next to her husband again, "thank you Sue Ellen, JR", Bobby nodded as he read the card before unwrapping and opening the box. "Wow", he whispered as he removed the leather watch from the box, it fit his style perfectly, the silver face was sleek and refined, but the brown leather strap added a touch of casualness to it, it was a perfect all occasion watch, suitable for the ranch and the office. Sue Ellen watched as he opened the box and examined the gift, she'd spent over an hour in the store trying to choose just the right one to suit Bobby's personality and needs, and she would be devastated if he didn't like it. "I love it, thank you", Bobby stood and kissed Sue Ellen on the cheek and shook hands with JR before moving on to the next gift. An hour later, they finished the celebratory cake and Lucy excused herself upstairs, the rest of the family slowly following, it had been a long day with and everyone was tired. "Bobby loved your gift darlin'", JR kissed Sue Ellen as he got into bed, "our gift JR. I bought it, but you gave me the idea", she didn't know why, but she never could just take a compliment, she always felt like she had to say something in return. "Hm, so I did", he grinned, he loved when she made little confidence-boosting comments, it was nice to know that he was the authority and he held the decision-making power in their relationship. They lay in silence for a moment before he spoke again, "what kind of watch would you choose for me?" he was genuinely curious, she'd bought him gifts before, for Christmas and his birthday, and occasionally just because she was thinking about him, but she'd never bought him a watch. Sue Ellen closed her eyes, "white gold face with a silver dial and stainless steel band; expensive and masculine. At first glance, it would appear simple and you'd wonder why that one was special, but there would be something about it that just drew your attention and held it. Looking a little closer, you would see the small details, the quality and workmanship that make the watch so unique and worth every penny. While the other watches in the store would have all of those features cluttering up the face, this watch would have a nice, clean appearance; style and sophistication at first glance, the complexities and intricacies only apparent on closer examination", she finished speaking, her tone of voice having changed from normal to dreamy and whimsical. JR was stunned as she described the watch, he knew the way she shopped, but he'd never heard her thought process like that, she had a certain way of speaking, almost in metaphors, personifying and analysing something in a way that he himself never did. He smiled to himself as she spoke, she was describing him and he enjoyed hearing those little thoughts, "sounds perfect"; Sue Ellen opened her eyes and looked at him, he was looking at her with so much love and adoration that she couldn't help but kiss him, she couldn't believe how lucky she was to have him for her husband. "I love you", she whispered as she pulled away, "I love you too", he wasn't ready to let her go, instead wrapping his arms around her and kissing her again before gently rolling them over and giving her the intimate love and attention that she deserved.

"To Ewing Oil, a truly family owned and operated company", Jock raised his glass and JR and Bobby followed; it was Bobby's first official day at Ewing Oil and Jock saw it as a momentous occasion, he was thrilled that his sons would one day run the company together, and his legacy would live on. Bobby smiled widely as his father welcomed him into the company and even JR didn't seem too upset, in his mind he knew that Jock wasn't a fool, he wouldn't let his inexperienced, young son run anything of real importance, no matter how much he favoured him, it just wouldn't be good for the business. JR was aware of Bobby's potential to have an impact, and would keep an eye on the new situation, but he wasn't too worried, Bobby wasn't competent or sneaky enough to try anything underhanded to move up through the ranks, JR felt secure in the knowledge that his job and position in the company was safe, at least for now. They finished their drinks and Bobby went to pour another before JR stopped him, "I'd better not; if you'll excuse me, I have work to be getting back to", he wouldn't have minded drinking all afternoon, but he did have an actual job, with real responsibilities. Bobby was a little confused, JR didn't normally say no to another drink, though he realised that he'd never really known him in a business capacity, things were a lot more serious at the office than they were at Southfork or a bar. "I suppose I'd better get back to work too", Bobby excused himself from Jock's office to a smaller room that had been converted into an office for him, it would do for now until they figured out a permanent title and location for him.

An hour later, Bobby stood and left his office to get a cup of coffee, walking past Jock's office, he heard voices and realised that there was some kind of meeting going on inside, one that he hadn't been informed of or invited to. He continued walking and waited in the reception area while Julie made him a cup of coffee, his first day wasn't as exciting as he'd expected it to be, he didn't really enjoy analysing maps and statistics, but his father insisted that he continue to learn the basics before he did anything else. He thought back to his summer work experience, he'd thought that the physical and social side of the job was more enjoyable and interesting than the theory, he'd liked visiting the oil fields and schmoozing with potential business partners, it was a lot more exciting than the dry reading that he was currently doing. "I'll see you gentlemen next week", Jock and JR's meeting ended and they walked into the reception area to show the men out, "Bobby", Jock noticed his youngest son's presence and decided that it was a good time to introduce him. He hadn't quite gotten used to including Bobby since it was only his first day, he'd forgotten to invite him to join the meeting to observe real business dealings, and JR hadn't said anything either, whether intentional or not, Jock wasn't sure, but on his part, it was an honest mistake. JR watched as Julie stood and waited for Bobby to finish his conversation before she handed him a cup of coffee. He couldn't help but roll his eyes at the situation, it was only Bobby's first day and already he was lazing around the office drinking coffee and chatting to the secretaries instead of studying and working hard to learn everything about the oil business. JR said his goodbyes and returned to his office, he was almost relieved at the realisation that he really had nothing to worry about, there was no way that their father would see some great potential in Bobby and promote him to anything meaningful and important, Bobby was there for one reason and one reason only, he was a Ewing.

To be continued…


	115. Promotion and Pregnancy?

**Dallas, Texas**

"Julie, one more thing; tell JR that I want to see him when he's free this afternoon", Julie nodded and walked toward the door. She stopped as she reached the door and turned around, "if Bobby asks?" she knew exactly what Jock meant when he said to ask JR, he meant only JR, but Bobby had become accustomed to walking around the offices throughout the day and he was bound to find out about the private meeting Jock had just requested. Jock shrugged, "private business, he knows not to pry", Julie nodded and left the office, walking next door to JR's office. "JR", he looked up and noticed Julie standing in the doorway, she was still beautiful, he couldn't deny that, and he began to question whether perhaps he had been too hasty in breaking off their relationship completely. "Your daddy wants to see you for a private meeting when you are free", she noticed the way he was looking at her and smiled, it would only be a matter of time before he came back to her, she just had to be patient. "Oh, uh, thanks", he snapped out of his thoughts as she mentioned his father, a private meeting sounded serious and he was curious as to what he wanted to talk about; perhaps he would be getting the presidency sooner than he'd expected, though somehow he doubted it; his father was only sixty-one, he didn't seem ready to retire just yet. On top of that, Jock insisted that JR provide a son before he handed over control, he wanted to know that there was an heir to the Ewing name and fortune, he wanted a guarantee that all of his hard work would stay in the family, benefitting future generations, not just his own. It was something that JR and Sue Ellen hadn't succeeded in just yet, though it was still early in their marriage and JR wasn't too worried about it, he was confident that it would happen and they were doing everything they could to make it happen; in the meantime, there was no point in worrying about it. He finished the work that he had been doing and an hour later, he left his office, going next door into his father's office, "daddy. You wanted to see me". Jock looked up at his eldest son as he knocked and entered the room, "yes, come in, and close the door. I don't want anyone overhearing this"; JR did as his father said and began to wonder exactly what was so private and secretive, he was now fairly sure that the meeting had nothing to do with his future presidency.

JR sat in front of his father's desk, waiting for an explanation, "how do you think Bobby's been doing lately?" JR didn't answer immediately, momentarily confused about the direction of the meeting, he had assumed it was either some big oil deal, or he was getting a promotion; Bobby's performance was the last thing on his mind. "Fine, fine, as good as can be expected from a recent graduate with little experience I suppose. Why?" he wasn't sure whether his answer was acceptable or not, but he didn't really know what else to say, he wasn't going to tell his father that his favourite son's natural talents didn't lie in finding and profiting from oil. "Mhm, well that's really what I wanted to discuss with you. I want Bobby to get some real experience, he's been studying the theory of the oil business for three months now, but I think we've neglected to really show him and teach him how to actually use that theoretical knowledge in a real-world situation. I want to start bringing him in on our meetings, at first just to observe, but in time, I want him to feel comfortable making deals on his own and I want to feel comfortable letting him do that. I will retire one day and I want both of my sons running the company", he paused as he read JR's face, he had looked a little surprised in the beginning, but now he was just straight-faced, listening to everything before he showed any hint of a reaction. JR sensed that his father was waiting for his reaction, "I agree daddy, but we have to start off slowly, I don't want anything going wrong, we've worked too hard to make this company what it is". He wasn't really too pleased, but he'd known that the day would come eventually, his brother couldn't stay in the theoretical learning stage forever, he had to actually become a real part of the company at some point. JR just had to be smarter than Bobby to make sure that he held on to his position, he wouldn't have his younger brother ruining what he'd worked for his entire life. "Good, I'm glad. I wanted you to know first because I don't want anything to go wrong, especially not deliberately", Jock spoke in a warning tone, he wanted JR to know that he wouldn't tolerate the manipulation and sabotage that had happened a few summers ago, he was the boss and he made the decisions, whether JR liked them or not. Jock had already made up his mind about involving Bobby more, but he decided to let JR think that he'd played a part in the overall decision, it would benefit him in the long run, especially if JR started to mouth off about Bobby's incompetence. In the future, JR would not be able to claim that he was against the idea from the start, because he'd just played a part of the decision making process, he'd just said that it was a good idea, and even if he didn't think it, he'd said it, and Jock had enough evidence to counter any potential arguments.

"To Ewing Oil, past, present and future", Jock held his glass up to toast the new business arrangement and the rest of the family followed, congratulating Bobby on his new position in the company. Sue Ellen felt a little sick for some reason and really didn't feel like eating, but she politely listened and added small comments to the dinner conversation, she didn't want to bring any attention to what she was sure was just a passing illness. She really wasn't in the mood to answer more pregnancy related questions because she was almost positive that she wasn't pregnant, it just disappointed everyone when she didn't have good news. Miss Ellie watched Sue Ellen as Teresa cleared their dinner plates and brought out the dessert, her new daughter-in-law seemed to be having a hard time eating and looked like she was forcing herself to enjoy the food, first pushing around the food on her dinner plate and then eventually giving her slice of chocolate cake to JR to finish. Miss Ellie was definitely suspicious, she'd experienced the same thing three times in her own life and she hoped that Sue Ellen was acting that way for the same reason, she and JR had been married for six months, it was about time that they had some news to share with the family; "is everything all right Sue Ellen? You hardly touched your dinner". Sue Ellen heard Miss Ellie's enquiry and realised that her attempts at acting normally hadn't been very good, she wasn't feeling well at all and it really showed, "yes Miss Ellie, I'm fine, just a little tired". Miss Ellie added tired to the list of 'symptoms' and smiled, she was sure that Sue Ellen was hiding something and she couldn't be happier, "why don't you go upstairs and rest, I'll have Teresa bring up some tea for you". Sue Ellen would have turned her down for appearance sake, but resting sounded good, she was actually feeling worse now than she had been when dinner started, "I think that's a good idea. If you'll excuse me", she apologised for leaving the dinner, but no one minded, it was almost over anyway. JR watched as his wife left the room and he began to wonder if there was something more than tiredness to Sue Ellen's behaviour, she had been rather quiet and she did usually eat more, maybe everyone's wishes were coming true, "I think I'll go check on her", he excused himself and walked upstairs to their bedroom. "Sue Ellen?" he didn't see her, but he quickly realised why as he heard the sounds coming from the bathroom, tiredness was the least of her worries right now. Sue Ellen flushed the toilet and brushed her teeth before making her way back into the bedroom, she was beginning to wonder whether her intuition and calendar were wrong, that maybe she actually was pregnant. "JR", she jumped as she opened the door into the bedroom and noticed her husband's presence, she was embarrassed that he'd probably heard her getting sick, she didn't want to worry him or disgust him, "are you all right darlin'? Are you sick?" it was obvious in his tone that he was both concerned and a little curious. "Yes, I think I must be coming down with something, or perhaps something I ate. I'm sure I'll be fine in the morning. I think I will have a rest now though", she took her nightgown and went back into the bathroom to change, leaving JR confused, they were alone, she didn't have to pretend that it was just a random illness or food poisoning with him. She returned to the bedroom and kissed him on the cheek, she didn't want him to catch whatever it was that she had; JR was even more confused when she refused to kiss him on the lips, he couldn't catch pregnancy, perhaps she really was just sick. It was still early, too early for him to go to sleep, he decided to let her rest and went back downstairs to finish talking with his father and brother; he and Sue Ellen could talk properly tomorrow, for now she really just needed to rest.

To be continued…


	116. Health

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen sat in Dr Harlen Danvers office, she felt a lot better than she had the previous night, but both JR and Miss Ellie had insisted that she see the family doctor just to be sure nothing was wrong, or, as they both hoped, to confirm that something was very right. "You mentioned that no one else appeared sick. Have you eaten anything different to the rest of the family? Perhaps ordered a different meal at a restaurant?" she thought about it for a moment, her days were normally spent with JR or Miss Ellie, surely if it was food related, they would also be sick; perhaps everyone's suspicions were correct, perhaps she was pregnant. She was still sceptical, choosing to believe the calendar dates rather than hoping that she was magically pregnant; of course, she was at the doctor's office, this was the perfect opportunity to find out. "I don't think so…" she couldn't remember eating anything different, "oh", she gasped as she remembered the catering tasting for a DOA fundraiser that she and a few other ladies had attended, Miss Ellie wasn't on the planning committee for that particular party and she hadn't attended the tasting. "Yes, and if it is what I think it is, then there are three other women with the same issues I've had", she explained the situation and the doctor nodded. "Well Mrs Ewing, it sounds like a case of mild food poisoning. I have reason to believe that you consumed contaminated food, which resulted in food poisoning", he explained that she just needed to keep drinking clear fluids, avoid any strong or heavy foods and rest. She listened and he continued to speak, "I would like to run a few tests though, just to be safe", Sue Ellen nodded, she liked that the doctor had listened and formed a rational judgement, he didn't just jump on the pregnancy assumption like the rest of the family seemed to every time she mentioned feeling a little sick. "Thank you", she stood and left his office after he explained what tests he wanted done and how long the results would take, assuring her that it was nothing to be worried about.

JR sat in his office, rereading the same page of writing over and over again, it was hard to concentrate when he knew that across town his wife was at the doctor's office finding out whether she was carrying their child or not, he was almost positive that she was, but Sue Ellen seemed unconvinced. He forced himself to focus on the contracts instead of thinking about his personal life, Sue Ellen had promised to call when she got home, there was no point in him sitting there unproductively waiting. "JR?" Bobby knocked on his office door and broke his thoughts, "yes Bob?" Bobby thought that JR looked distracted, but he didn't say anything, his brother would just deny it anyway; JR jumped up as Bobby reminded him of their meeting with the cartel, one he had completely forgotten about, he quickly made his way to Jock's office, it wouldn't look good if he were late to an important meeting. Sue Ellen arrived home and changed into her nightgown again, Dr Danvers had told her to rest and a little nap would appease the family when they inevitably asked her about what the doctor had said and whether she had been following his instructions. She quickly called JR's office to tell him that she was fine, but she was informed that he was in a meeting; she didn't want to disturb him with something unimportant, so she just left a message, she could answer any of his questions when he got home. She lay down and went to sleep quickly, she hadn't realised that although her stomach-ache was gone, she was still quite tired and a nap was exactly what she needed right now. JR finished his meeting and his secretary gave him the message from Sue Ellen that she was 'fine', he was a little annoyed that he didn't get to speak to her and that she hadn't expanded on what 'fine' meant so he tried to call her, but Teresa informed him that his wife was sleeping. He didn't want to disturb her and decided that he would just wait until he got home to find out whether she was pregnant or not, though it just made the afternoon drag on, he hated anticipation when he was the one waiting.

"It's a shame that Linda, Evelyn, Nancy and Sue Ellen are all sick, I would've liked to get their opinions at this meeting", Mavis Anderson commented to the group of DOA ladies at the table and the other women nodded in agreement. Miss Ellie listened and began to realise that perhaps she had been wrong about Sue Ellen's condition; it was too much of a coincidence that the four ladies had all taken ill with food poisoning at the same time. They finished their meeting and Mavis and Ellie did a little shopping in Dallas before Mavis drove Miss Ellie back to Southfork; Teresa informed her that Sue Ellen had returned home hours ago and gone to her room but she hadn't seen her since then. Miss Ellie knocked on the door and received no answer but opened the door anyway, she had to make sure that Sue Ellen was all right; "Sue Ellen?" she had only been lightly sleeping and the sound of Miss Ellie's voice caused her to open her eyes. She looked at the clock and realised that she had been sleeping for much longer than she had planned to; it was probably about time she got up and out of her bedroom, it wasn't good to be cooped up all day. Miss Ellie was a little saddened as Sue Ellen explained that the doctor thought it was food poisoning, but she hid her emotions, she didn't want Sue Ellen to feel like she had disappointed her, it wasn't something that she had any control over. Sue Ellen spent the rest of the afternoon outside by the pool, she was still resting, but at least she was also getting some fresh air.

It was Friday morning, two days after Sue Ellen's doctor appointment; she felt much better and everyone had all but forgotten about her illness, until breakfast when the phone rang. "Miss Sue Ellen", Teresa notified her that the call was for her and she felt as if she were being watched when she stood and left the table, though she was sure that it was just in her mind, no one would really care that much about her phone call. "Hello?" she listened to the nurse on the other end of the phone, and her heart dropped, it was the news she'd been expecting and had really known all along, but for some reason, she was still disappointed about the official result. She returned to the table just as Jock, JR and Bobby were getting ready to leave for work, "who was that darlin'?" JR enquired, he wasn't really being nosy, it was just an honest question, but she didn't appreciate him asking in front of the whole family, it meant that she would now have to once again disappoint everyone with the news. "It was a nurse from Dr Danvers office", the whole family stopped what they were doing and looked at her, it was exactly what she hadn't wanted, "well…" Jock interrupted impatiently, as if she were pausing to torture them, "my tests came back clear, the doctor is sure that I just had a little food poisoning earlier in the week, but other than that, I'm perfectly healthy", she tried to make it into a positive thing, but she knew that everyone was disappointed right now, including herself. No one really knew what to say, they didn't want to bring up the potential pregnancy again, but it was the only thing on everyone's minds, "that's great darlin', healthy is always a good thing", JR kissed her and everyone moved back into what they were doing before the phone call. "We'll celebrate your good health when I get home from work", he whispered in her ear and she blushed, she hoped that no one else heard what he said to her, though looking around the room at everyone, she was sure that no one was paying attention to her anymore.

To be continued…


	117. Strengths and Weaknesses

**Dallas, Texas**

"Stop arguing and believe me, it's not going to work. Those fields are long-term investments and we're not currently looking for business in that area. We need something with a quick turnaround", JR sighed as he tried to explain to Bobby why he was saying no to his idea, it wasn't a good business move, that's all, but Bobby seemed to think that his older brother was out to get him. "But…" Bobby began to argue but JR cut him off, "no buts. I'm not saying those fields are bad; we could turn a tidy profit from them if we did purchase them, but right now we're just not in the market for something with such a long projected profit potential. We need to make a deal that's going to payoff and benefit Ewing Oil this financial year, not in five or ten years' time", JR knew he was right and their father would back him up if Bobby started to complain, so he had no problem being honest about why Bobby's idea wasn't being taken seriously. Bobby sighed, JR was making sense and he was starting to realise that he still had a lot to learn; he hadn't thought about the need for immediate return on investment, he'd only been thinking about profit in general, his father and brother were more experienced and knowledgeable and he probably should listen to them. "Ok fine, we'll do it your way", he stood and left the office, not wanting to discuss it any further; JR couldn't help but laugh at how childish his brother was acting and he grinned as he realised Bobby's inexperience and petulance were his two big weaknesses. He wasn't stupid, even if JR sometimes made him feel like he was, but he still had a lot to learn. Inadvertently, Bobby had just made JR aware of a deal that he could file away for a later point in time, the land Bobby wanted to buy was a good purchase, just not right now; there was nothing stopping JR from buying it in the future and taking the credit for the deal.

**Austin, Texas**

"Happy birthday Kristin, these are from JR and me", Sue Ellen handed her sister a small box and watched he face light up in excitement, she knew that anything Sue Ellen bought her was going to be good, she had great taste and she was rich now. "Thank you Sue Ellen", Kristin gasped and thanked her sister as she revealed the silver diamond necklace and matching earrings; she was only just ten years old, but she acted much older and already appreciated the finer things in life, Patricia had managed to train her youngest daughter to seek wealth much earlier than she had Sue Ellen. "Oh they're lovely, they must have been very expensive", Patricia wasted no time analysing the diamonds and concluding that Sue Ellen must have spent a small fortune on the gift, her marriage to JR was paying off. Sue Ellen hated the way her mother always made everything about money, it was so unnecessary to talk about, yet she constantly felt the need to mention it, "JR is a very generous man", she didn't want to get into a further discussion so she kept her reply short. "He is", Patricia agreed, "speaking of JR, will he be coming to the party tomorrow? I know he had a business dinner tonight, but tomorrow's Saturday, surely he doesn't work weekends", Sue Ellen suppressed an eye roll, she had already explained the situation to her mother, but she wouldn't leave it alone for some reason, it was like she wanted there to be some drama between them, though she couldn't imagine why. "Well JR is a very busy man, he works when he has to, and sometimes that means weekends. He said to send his regards though and told me to invite you to dinner sometime", she fibbed a little, bending the truth to match their actions. JR did have a business dinner tonight, but she wasn't sure that he actually had anything to do over the weekend, he could have come if he'd wanted to, but spending his Saturday at a ten year old's birthday party wasn't his ideal day. It was something Sue Ellen completely understood and she was happy to cover for him, he worked hard all week and he deserved to relax on the weekends, she was sure that he could find some way to entertain himself for a few hours until she returned home in the afternoon. "How nice; you know, you haven't had us out to the ranch for a while, perhaps we could visit for the weekend sometime", Sue Ellen was offering a dinner invitation, but Patricia was an opportunist and quickly turned it into a weekend-long event. "Sure mama, I'm sure the family would love to see you and Kristin", Sue Ellen smiled and agreed; some things just weren't worth arguing about.

**Dallas, Texas**

"I have a feeling the Cowboys are gonna be winners this season. I've met Landry, he knows what he's doing", Bobby justified his opinion by launching into a story about his college football days and the two men were hooked, they may not be on the same page businesswise, but football had a way of bringing people together. They spent a good part of the night comparing stories about different players and coaches through the years, both NFL and NCAA, and Jock watched as his youngest son managed to use his football knowledge and experience to persuade their potential business partners to work with them. Bobby was a natural, he was personable and friendly and he was able to find common ground with people before resorting to less ethical tactics; it was always preferable to try doing things the right way before doing them the wrong way and he'd already started to think about how he could better utilize Bobby's talents to benefit Ewing Oil. The three B's were a tried-and-true method, but they didn't all have to be used at once; for the dirtier negotiations he had JR, but for the harmless ones where people just needed a little persuading, he could use Bobby; people weren't afraid of him in the way they were JR. Of course, Bobby would have to know how to negotiate by exerting his influence and putting the pressure on, but most of that work was JR's field of expertise. In the way that friendly and relatable were synonymous with Bobby Ewing; scheming and conniving were words more suitable for JR Ewing; Bobby's relatability would be a great asset to the company. Their drinking continued well into the night and by the time the Cattlemen's Club started to empty, the five men were well past sober. Exiting the bar, Bobby showed his age by suggesting that they continue the festivities elsewhere, their new business partners declined and Jock said something about not being as young as his sons, but JR didn't see the harm in joining his brother, his wife was in Austin anyway, staying out was just as good as going home.

To be continued…


	118. Justified

**Dallas, Texas**

JR picked his car up at Ewing Oil and then drove back home, arriving just as everyone was finishing breakfast outside on the patio. Bobby was nowhere to be seen and JR assumed that his night had probably been just as good, if not better than his own had; Bobby was single and unattached, he didn't need a cover story for where he'd spent the night. "Good morning JR", Miss Ellie smiled at him as he walked toward the house, "morning mama", he smiled and took the cup of coffee and scrambled eggs Teresa handed to him before sitting down and joining the breakfast conversation. Jock knew the look on his eldest son's face but he didn't say anything; he couldn't say that he was pleased about JR's behaviour, but he understood it. It was only natural for a man to want to have a little fun, monogamy wasn't an easy thing to get used to, especially for men like JR; his wife visiting her mother was the perfect opportunity for him to get whatever extramarital desires he had out of his system. Jock wanted JR's marriage to work, and if bending a few of their marriage vows while his wife was away was what JR needed to be happy and remain a good husband, then he was prepared to look the other way. He truly believed that what a husband did in private was no one's business but his own, as long as it stayed private; in public he was expected to act charming, loving and committed, the picture of happiness, with a wife by his side. As long as JR held up his end of the deal, was discreet about his side actions, and still attentive to his wife, Jock wasn't going to say anything about it; he understood his eldest son and he'd been pleased with his performance since the wedding, he wasn't going to do anything to disrupt that behaviour streak. As much as JR had resisted, marriage had been good for him, he had stepped up to his responsibilities and had gone above and beyond the expectations he set for him, there was only one more thing that Jock really wanted now, a grandson. The family chatted a little before they finished breakfast and each went off to do their own thing; Mavis arrived to meet Ellie for their shopping trip, and Jock went down to the stables to see Ray, taking Lucy with him because she wanted to go riding, leaving JR home alone, at least until Bobby decided to return. JR enjoyed when he had a little peace and quiet, sometimes it was nice to have Southfork all to himself, especially when he was a still a little tired and hungover from the previous night; he walked upstairs and changed clothes, deciding that spending the day by the pool was about as much as he wanted to do right now. Although he'd had a wonderful night with another woman, he was looking forward to Sue Ellen's return later in the day, they always had a good time after a separation, no matter how brief; it wasn't even completely sexual, he really did enjoy her company, whatever they were doing. He always felt more refreshed after a little time apart, it gave him time to miss her and made their reunion even more enjoyable, though he sometimes wondered whether he felt good because he usually used their time apart to satisfy his buried carnal desires rather than because he couldn't bear to be away from his wife. He pushed those thoughts out of his mind, he loved Sue Ellen, and he only went to other women to satisfy the wants and needs he had that were too good for a lady like her, he wouldn't sully her like that. Ultimately though, Sue Ellen was the only woman that truly mattered to him.

Bobby arrived home a few hours later, finding the ranch empty except for his brother who was asleep under an umbrella by the pool. If he'd been in a more energetic mood, he would have jumped into the pool to splash water on JR and disturb his nap, but he was tired and hungover; what JR was doing looked more appealing than exerting real energy. He changed clothes and joined JR, lying outside by the pool in the shade while Teresa brought him a Bloody Mary and some pills for his headache. JR wasn't really sleeping, he was just relaxed by the stillness of the empty ranch, it wasn't often that there was no one there; he heard Teresa placing a tray down on the table and decided to get up and do something, it wouldn't look good if Sue Ellen came home and found him almost passed out. He walked inside, grabbing a newspaper and a cup of coffee and spent the rest of the afternoon in the downstairs office; he was happy and relaxed, ready for his wife to return home.

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen helped her mother clean-up after the party, she was more tired than she'd imagined she would be, she'd almost forgotten how exhausting entertaining a group of children could be. The children had been the easy part of her day though; socialising with the mothers of the children was much more difficult. She had thought the marriage proposal questions had been hard to answer, but the baby questions were even worse, she didn't have an answer, no matter how much she or JR wanted it, neither could just make it happen, it was out of their control. As tired as she was, she had enjoyed the day and it had just confirmed her thoughts, she didn't just want a baby to please the family, she wanted to be a mother for herself too. It was the combination of the two things that made her emotional every time she realised that it hadn't happened yet; the monthly biological reminders were bad enough, but the constant talk of babies at Southfork was beginning to take its toll. Logically she knew that being six months married without conceiving was normal, her doctor had assured her so, but emotionally she had begun to wonder if she was doing something wrong, whether there was some greater force stopping her from reaching the ultimate happiness. She tried to push the thoughts out of her mind and remain positive; she didn't want anyone to know just how much it was affecting her, not even JR. Of course, he knew that she was upset about it, but he didn't know just how upset she really was, and he wouldn't; for now, she played the loving, dutiful wife role and she would continue that until she could provide what they all wanted. Being an emotional mess wasn't in her job description and she hid any hint of just how deeply she felt things, she didn't want him to have anything more to deal with than he already did. "Sue Ellen?" she'd been distracted and hadn't realised that she'd been wiping the same spot on the table for the past few minutes, Patricia had noticed though, she was unsure of what was bothering her daughter, but she didn't want to ask. Instead, she took over the cleaning and told Sue Ellen to put away the leftover food; she just couldn't deal with any problems today.

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen was surprised to find Southfork quiet and seemingly empty when she returned home, though she knew that both Bobby and JR had to be around somewhere, their cars were in the driveway. Teresa informed her that Bobby was sleeping upstairs and JR was in the office; she realised why it was so quiet when she went to find her husband. Walking into the office, she found him reclined in the chair with his feet up on the desk and his hands behind his head, the newspaper he'd been reading still on his lap as he lay lightly sleeping; she smiled at the sight, he was so handsome, and he was all hers. She walked over and picked up the newspaper, folding it and placing it on the desk, trying to be quiet; though she realised she hadn't done a very good job when she heard his voice, "you're home", he smiled at her. She turned as he spoke, annoyed with herself for ruining his nap; she was relieved when she saw his smile and she realised he wasn't upset with her. He held out his hand to pull her down into his lap before softly kissing her; she didn't know what made him act so sweetly sometimes, but she didn't care, she liked when he was kind and gentle and she wasn't going to ruin it by asking hard questions. "I missed you", she whispered after a few minutes, "good, because I missed you too", he replied, it was true, he'd thought about her a lot today, and he was glad to have her home. They spent the next hour talking and kissing, enjoying the relaxed mood of just being together, if it went further, then that was great, but even if it didn't, they still enjoyed their time together. JR knew it deep down that although other women were great, they were really only useful for one thing; Sue Ellen offered so much more, and she was the only woman he really wanted to spend his time with. If showing his worst side to other women meant that Sue Ellen only saw his best side, then that was what he would do, it was all justified in his mind, he was just trying to make their marriage the best it could be, and right now, it felt pretty close to that.

To be continued…


	119. Double Standards

**Dallas, Texas**

It was the Tuesday after Labor Day weekend, and the first day back at school and work after the Ewing Barbecue; Sue Ellen sat outside Southfork, underneath an umbrella as she watched Lucy and Muriel play in the pool. She was mostly waiting for JR to come home from work, but she didn't mind being the adult supervision for Lucy and her friend, the weather was nice, and she really didn't have to do anything except be there, the girls were happy to entertain themselves. Her mind wandered to the Ewing Barbecue that had just passed, and the previous barbecues that she had attended, she'd gotten used to dramatic happenings at events like the barbecue and it was almost shocking that no one had ended up in the pool this year, everyone had been very civilised and well-behaved. Miss Ellie had insisted that Sue Ellen invite her mother and sister and she was surprised when the day passed without something going wrong within her own family, her mother and sister had acted completely normal and polite. She had been sure that her mother would do or say something that would make her feel uncomfortable or Kristin would act like a total brat and ruin everyone's good time, but that hadn't happened, the day had gone well and they had gone back to Austin without any drama, she was grateful to them for that. She and JR had mingled with their guests and she felt wonderful every time he used the word 'wife', he said it with such pride, as if he were showing her off to anyone would listen, it made her feel happy and secure and just added to the love that she had for him. Her happy thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car driving and parking in the driveway before the driver got out and slammed the door shut; she looked up nervously and saw JR storming toward the house, she immediately stood and followed him. JR didn't acknowledge her presence as she called his name as he entered the house and she began to wonder whether he was angry at her, though she couldn't imagine why he would be; "Teresa, the girls are in the pool, will you please watch them", she spoke quickly and hurried up the stairs behind her husband.

JR vaguely heard his name being called but he didn't register that his wife was following him until he got to the top of the stairs and felt her hand on his shoulder. "JR", she looked up at him, her big, brown eyes full of concern; he forced himself to take a deep breath and calm down, he wasn't sure what he would do if he didn't, he was so angry, but it wasn't right to take it out on his wife, she wasn't the one he was angry with. Silently, he took her hand and pulled her into their bedroom, slamming the door behind him; Sue Ellen jumped at his forceful manner, but she didn't say anything, she would do whatever he wanted her to, she just had to wait for him to do or say something. He paced back and forth, trying to regulate his breathing and calm his temper; "JR?" she watched him as he moved and wished that he would just talk about it, it couldn't make the problem any worse. "Ewing Oil is mine", he clenched his jaw as he spoke and Sue Ellen was surprised at how angry he seemed, something really bad must have happened, "of course Ewing Oil is yours", she softly replied, trying to bring him down to a calmer level of emotion. "I am the eldest Ewing son, Ewing Oil is my birthright, but that doesn't mean that I haven't worked hard to earn everything I have. I was the one that put in all the long, hard hours of work, I was the one that sacrificed my whole life for Ewing Oil, whenever daddy needed me, I was there, no matter whether I had plans or not. My daddy is a tough man, he's not easily pleased, and when he gets angry, he gets really angry, but do my brothers know that? No, I don't believe they really do. Sure, they've seen daddy angry, but not the way I have. I was the one that bore the brunt of my daddy's anger, his harshest discipline, his unfair judgements and expectations, all because I am the oldest. I accepted that, that's just the way it is, and everything I do is for the good of the family and Ewing Oil, but for some reason, that's still not good enough. Then you have my little brother, the fair-haired boy, given everything that I had to work for, oblivious to the other side of being a Ewing. I don't hate my brother, but I hate everything he stands for; just once, I'd like to be in his position, but that will never happen, because he is daddy's favourite son, he doesn't even have to try, he just is". Sue Ellen stood and listened as he spoke, slowly moving toward him and pulling him into a hug; he had started off shouting, but by the end of his speech he was much quieter, sounding almost defeated as he finished speaking. Of course, he would never show any kind of emotion that could be interpreted as weak, and when she wrapped her arms around him to comfort him, he pushed her away; it wasn't that he didn't need her, but he didn't want her to know that he needed her. Sue Ellen said nothing as he pushed her away, she knew not to take it too personally, his daddy was a sore spot for him emotionally, and she wouldn't push him any further than he was willing to go.

She watched him for a moment before speaking again, "what happened?" JR looked up at her and was comforted by the way she was looking at him, she seemed to genuinely want to listen to his problems and make everything ok; it was nice to have someone who was always on his side, he'd never really had that before. "Bobby happened. Everybody loves Bobby Ewing, he's such a good guy", JR spoke in a sarcastic tone and then explained about his father's decision to make Bobby the director of public relations, something JR saw as a code name for fulltime socialising and zero real work. Bobby didn't know the first thing about what the PR division of Ewing Oil did, but he got the job title and the praise, and he would leave anything difficult up to the other people in the department. It wasn't that JR wanted Bobby's job, he didn't, he was very pleased with being vice president, but he didn't like that Bobby always managed to get the fun, easy side of life that never involved real hard work. JR hated that their father would praise Bobby for his accomplishments when he was virtually ignored for the same and greater things. The double standard was something he was used to, but that didn't mean it didn't still hurt him to experience it. He had accepted the announcement when Jock made it that morning, because praising Bobby for largely unearned or unremarkable achievements was standard practice in the Ewing family. It was the last straw when Jock praised Bobby for all of the new connections and handshake deals they had made at the barbecue though, because a majority of the deals he credited to Bobby were actually JR's doing, not Bobby's. It was something his father didn't acknowledge and Bobby hadn't corrected him about, and when JR had spoken up about it, they had both told him that Ewing Oil was what was important and who made the deals was irrelevant as long as they were valid. JR hated that, it was total hypocrisy, from both his father and brother, they had just praised Bobby's performance, but the minute anything was credited to JR, it was suddenly irrelevant; he had said nothing after that, knowing that it was pointless to argue against the status quo when it came to anything involving Bobby. It had taken all of his willpower to return to Southfork after work instead of calling one of his 'friends' or going to a bar, but it wouldn't help his case if he wasn't home for dinner, and he wasn't going to do anything to make his father even less sympathetic to his case.

Sue Ellen listened to his story and silently cursed Jock for the way he had raised his sons and continued to treat them, he had no idea how much he hurt his eldest son with his actions; not that JR would admit he was hurt, he always claimed anger or annoyance, even when they weren't really the right adjectives. "That's not right; you don't deserve that kind of treatment. Your father should recognize all of the hard work that you put into Ewing Oil; it isn't fair to dismiss the time and commitment you have dedicated to the company", she didn't mention Bobby, it wasn't really his fault, it was mostly up to Jock. Bobby had never known any different, he couldn't possibly understand the pain that JR felt when his efforts were constantly dismissed or went unrecognized, because he had never felt like that, it had always been the opposite for him. Jock Ewing's divisive parenting strategies meant that each of his sons was missing something, something another brother had; if each of their best qualities were combined, then they would probably be one well-rounded man; but they were three men, not one; three very different men, each missing something important, something Sue Ellen was sure was down to nurture, not nature. "I'm sorry JR", she didn't know what else to say, she couldn't do anything to make it better, she just had to follow his lead and offer whatever he needed; "thank you darlin'", he meant it, it was nice to have his opinion validated for once, he wasn't alone in thinking that it was unfair. He stepped closer to her, now much calmer than he had been when he first arrived home, "let's change the subject, I don't want to talk about my day anymore", he looked her up and down, only now realising that she was in her bathing suit and a short cover-up. "Ok, what do you want to talk…" she began to speak but was cut off by his lips on hers, she had her answer, there would be no more talking now.

To be continued…


	120. Peak Oil

**Dallas, Texas**

"Well, I'd better be going, I don't want to miss my flight", Bobby stood and said goodbye to the family before he left the breakfast table; Sue Ellen noticed as JR's mood changed when Bobby spoke, he obviously wasn't happy about whatever Bobby was doing today. "Come on JR, we'd better be going too", Jock stood and waited for JR to follow him, though he didn't really need to, they drove separate cars to the office anyway. JR reluctantly stood, he was still bitter about Bobby's new position within Ewing Oil, his brother was slowly taking over his role and he wasn't pleased about it. He knew how these things worked, Bobby taking responsibility for more meant that JR had to give up some of his responsibilities; a meeting here and there would soon mean that JR was no longer involved in anything other than final negotiations and that just wasn't acceptable to him. Then there was the issue of Bobby's inexperience, with the way things were heading in the oil industry, Bobby would be more use to them spreading around a few B's rather than actually doing any serious business, they would need all the friends they could get. JR would prefer to be the one doing any real business, he always felt calmer about anything when he was in full control, and right now he didn't feel like he had much control at all. He didn't mind Bobby working as an employee for Ewing Oil, but he didn't like the idea of him actually negotiating as one of the Ewings of Ewing Oil, he just wasn't that confident in his brother's ability. Sue Ellen had hoped that JR would have to go inside and get his hat or something, she wanted to talk to him and ask what was wrong, but unfortunately, he stood, kissed her on the cheek and followed his father; she would have to wait until he returned from work to find out what was bothering him. Miss Ellie looked at her watch, "are you ready Sue Ellen? We're supposed to be there at nine, and you know how the traffic is at this time of day", in thinking about JR's problems, Sue Ellen had almost forgotten her own plans, "yes, just let me get my purse and we'll go", she walked into the house and collected her things. Sue Ellen drove Lucy to school and then she and Miss Ellie made their way to an underprivileged school on the other side of Dallas, the DOA had fundraised to buy new textbooks and classroom furniture for them and the school was holding a special morning tea to thank the DOA for their generosity.

JR arrived at Ewing Oil and spent most of the day in his office looking over paperwork and making decisions about which fields they would focus on in the next year, and which ones would have their production cut back. It was real work, with real consequences and he knew that he had to get it right, because if he didn't, there would be hell to pay with his father, not to mention all of the people that relied on Ewing Oil for their livelihoods. Bobby was in Washington to meet with a few senators and spread a little goodwill, having as many powerful and influential people on their side as possible was always preferable and they didn't want anything to happening that would disrupt their business, especially not now with the whisperings of a possible uprising by potential foreign oil powers. JR analysed all of the information in front of him and made some hard decisions, what was best for Ewing Oil wasn't necessarily what was best for their workers or the US economy, but he had to do it, they had to do whatever it took to remain independent. Across town, Sue Ellen and Miss Ellie mingled with some of the school board members, teachers and other DOA members, though Sue Ellen found it hard to concentrate on the good deeds they were celebrating, she was too preoccupied with concern for JR's wellbeing, Bobby's promotion was really taking a toll on him. She felt that it was her duty as his wife to always support him and she truly just wanted him to be happy, because when he was happy, she was happy. It wasn't fair that JR had to work so hard for things and got little praise when he did succeed, while Bobby just cruised through life doing minimal work, but getting more praise for his accomplishments. She really felt bad for JR, the amount of hurt that he expressed had to be just a small amount of what he actually felt; it just wasn't right the way he was treated, no one ever seemed to be on his side. In that moment, she made the decision, she was going to do everything she could to help JR get back on top again, he deserved to be the one in control, and he deserved to have his efforts recognized; no longer would she just listen an empathise with him, she decided to take an active role in bettering his position.

"How was your day?" Sue Ellen sat and watched as JR removed his suit to change before bed; she hadn't had much luck that afternoon when he returned from work, but she really wanted him to talk to her, to confide in her, so she tried again. She wanted their marriage to be open to communication and for him to know that he didn't have to deal with everything himself, she was there to listen and support him. She even had a small plan if he wanted to hear it, though she would wait for him to ask before suggesting it, she didn't want to appear too presumptuous. JR stopped what he was doing and looked at his wife, it always surprised him how much she seemed to genuinely care, she didn't have to ask him, and he didn't have to answer beyond a standard polite response, but something about the way she asked made him want to tell her. "It was ok, I had to make some tough decisions, some people are going to lose their jobs, and I won't be very popular within the business, but I only did what I had to, Ewing Oil always comes first. I just hope that Bobby knows what he's doing, because we need all the support we can get, the situation isn't going to fix itself". Sue Ellen listened as he spoke, she didn't quite understand the oil business, but she gleaned from his explanation that they had an oversupply of oil and he'd had to cut back production to protect Ewing Oil from falling prices. She also gathered that he was concerned about a rumoured uprising by foreign countries and loss of control of the market for companies in the US; it seemed like an awful lot for him to be dealing with by himself and she hoped that Bobby and Jock understood JR's decisions and would back him up. He didn't deserve to have to take all the responsibility, it sounded like most of it was out of his control anyway. After listening to him speak, she decided to shelve her thoughts about how he should deal with Bobby, he already had so much going on and listening to her potential takedown plan probably wasn't something that would interest him. For now she would just hold on to her ideas, she could always share them at a later date if needed, but right now he needed her to listen and support him, not throw more onto his plate.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Please excuse any real-world historical inaccuracy, I tried to simplify the situation as best I could but I am not an expert on the oil industry or its history :P Thanks everyone for reading, and to those who have left reviews lately, it's much appreciated. **


	121. Lucy's Birthday

**Dallas, Texas**

"Remind me again why we had to have the party here rather than at Southfork?" JR sat on the bench and reluctantly laced his roller skates, "because, Lucy's your niece and you love her, and this is what she wanted …and your daddy already bought her a horse". Sue Ellen couldn't help but laugh at how competitive JR got when it came to giving gifts, he didn't like to lose, even when it was something small and fairly insignificant; so when Jock bought Lucy a horse, and Bobby practically bought out the toy store, JR felt like he had to do something better to compete. Lucy was one spoiled little girl, she always got what she wanted and no one ever told her that she couldn't have something; it was as if the family were trying to compensate for the bad start she'd had in life by giving her everything she asked for now. It was something Lucy knew how to manipulate; she was given everything and anything she wanted in day-to-day life, but her birthday was the time to ask for bigger and better things. Sue Ellen hadn't realised that what a big part she played in the whole thing until it came to the week before Lucy's birthday and she had no idea what to buy her; clothes, toys and jewellery were things she already bought for Lucy on a whim, to buy the same things for her birthday didn't seem enough. "Hm, that's true, but why do we have to skate? I'm already paying for the whole thing, whether I participate or not is irrelevant", he didn't mind ice-skating, but roller rinks were a little different, he didn't feel completely comfortable about his ability and didn't like people to see him in a weak position. His doubt about his own capabilities paired with the rink filled with thirty children from Lucy's class that were attending, meant that he didn't feel much like participating. He would have preferred to just sit with his parents and the other adults in the café, but his wife had other ideas, she was a child at heart and she enjoyed things like this. He couldn't deny her the chance to have a little fun, he hadn't been in a very good mood lately with his preoccupation with business and she deserved to enjoy herself. "Because, skating is fun, and you promised you'd skate with me. Now, come on", she pulled him up and onto the rink and they started to skate, taking it slowly at first but speeding up as the small children started to whiz past them. JR's competitive side got the better of him and he quickly shed his inhibitions, he didn't like the idea that some nine or ten year old kid was faster and better than him, and when Bobby and his date skated past them, it was the last straw; he was here now, and he may as well enjoy himself. Sue Ellen was a little surprised when JR skated for more than five minutes without grumbling about the throngs of children crowding the rink, and she was even more surprised when he voluntarily increased their speed. She looked over at him and saw him smiling; she said nothing, but she knew that he had been wrong; it really wasn't as bad as he'd thought it would be and he was actually enjoying himself.

"Admit it, you're having fun", Sue Ellen grinned as she watched JR eat a piece of birthday cake, he had stopped whining and she felt the need to jokingly remind him how sceptical he had been earlier, he would definitely deny it later on, so she wanted confirmation now. "Never", he grinned back at her; she was right, once he dropped his attitude, skating was actually quite enjoyable. He almost felt like he did back when they were first dating, they used to do a lot more little date activities like this; they had to find something to fill their time, especially since his favourite pastime was off-limits back then. They hadn't really 'dated' for quite some time now and he hadn't realised how much he missed just interacting with her as a person. Lately he'd been treating her as his wife more out of duty than anything else, she was someone who would listen to him complain, accompany him to dinners and parties, and fulfil his needs when he asked. He hadn't really realised it, but he had been neglecting the personal side of their relationship, the things that had made him fall in love with her in the first place. He wasn't really surprised that Sue Ellen hadn't said anything, her mother had probably drilled into her that she should never mention her unhappiness, it wasn't unusual for a wife to come second to everything else and that a good wife would do whatever her husband asked, or didn't ask. He didn't want her to have to feel like that though and he made a mental note to try to be a better husband from now on. "Liar", she smirked, his behaviour and expression said everything, he may not have originally wanted to come, but now that he was here, it hadn't been such a terrible decision after all. He finished his cake and took her hand, leading her back out onto the rink; she noticed a small change in his behaviour and wondered what had happened, she didn't question it though, she was enjoying the change.

"Isn't that your uncle and his wife?" Lisa questioned Lucy and drew attention to the couple as the group skated toward the back corner of the rink, JR had Sue Ellen pushed against the wall and neither of them seemed to care that they were being watched. "Gosh, they are so embarrassing", Lucy cringed as they skated past them, she had thought that they were over that part of their relationship, but apparently they weren't; it was bad enough at Southfork after they got married, but this was in public, in front of all of her friends. "I think it's sweet", Muriel chimed into the conversation, she always saw the best in people; Lucy rolled her eyes and the other girls in the group giggled as they skated past the couple. "…so embarrassing", Sue Ellen vaguely heard the words but she didn't register what was going on around them until JR pulled out of their kiss. He heard the group of girls giggling as they skated past and he snapped back into reality, "I'm sorry darlin', I suppose I just got carried away", he wasn't usually so forward in public and he didn't feel comfortable continuing when he knew that they had been spotted. "Don't apologise", she whispered, as she looked him in the eye, it had been so spontaneous and it reminded her of the feelings she'd had for him when they were first dating, she didn't want him to act as if he regretted doing it. JR grinned as she spoke, he liked knowing that she enjoyed their time together just as much as he did; "we'll continue this when we get home", he kissed her lightly and then took her hand and started to skate again. He had other things going on in his life, but for the rest of the day they were irrelevant, his wife needed his attention and he intended on giving it to her.

To be continued…


	122. Washington

**Dallas, Texas**

"This is nice, I missed our dinners together", Sue Ellen made casual conversation as their drinks were delivered, she was surprised when JR had suggested they have dinner in town together, just the two of them, because lately they hadn't really spent a whole lot of personal time together. It wasn't that they didn't see each other or spend time together at all, but it had become quite routine and almost a little boring, they were a married couple, but sometimes it was if that was all they were, performing the duties they were assigned in the marriage and not much else. It was family time at Southfork for breakfast, cocktails and dinner, and everything going on at Ewing Oil had been heavily weighing on JR's mind lately, he hadn't been much good for conversation when they were together in their brief moments of aloneness. Sue Ellen didn't know what changed in him recently, but she wasn't complaining. In the past week he seemed to have been putting in much more of an effort to be a good husband, taking more of an interest in her life and activities and acting more like the man she'd first fallen in love with, he seemed to be trying to find a balance between his work life and his home life. She wasn't going to question his behaviour, there was one thing she knew about JR Ewing, he was unpredictable and it was best not to question his motives or plans, it wouldn't get you anywhere. "So have I, but we're here now and that's all that matters", he looked at her nodding and felt like he needed to explain a little further why he'd been so distant, it wasn't anything she had done, or anything that she could control, and he wanted her to know that. "I'm sorry we haven't done this in a while, I've been busy at the office lately and I have to do everything I possibly can for Ewing Oil and for my position. I can't have anything go wrong, not now", he didn't elaborate any further, but Sue Ellen knew exactly what he meant. Things were a little chaotic right now, in the oil business and within Ewing Oil, especially with the way Jock treated Bobby; now was not the time for JR to start taking it easy, not if he wanted to remain on top. "It's ok, you don't need to apologise for your job, I understand that Ewing Oil is important and I'll support you in any way you need me to", she reached across the table and touched his hand lovingly. She really did understand and she wanted to be the wife he needed, it wasn't fair for her to make him feel guilty when he was just doing what was expected of him, he was a powerful man, and with that power came responsibility and accountability, things that took time and attention. She had known those things before she married him and it wouldn't have been fair for her to get upset about them now, he was just doing his job, he didn't need anything more to worry about. She tried to make sure that he didn't have to worry about anything else so she mostly kept her thoughts to herself, only telling him things when he expressed an interest in knowing about them and generally keeping their conversations light and casual. She had worries and stresses of her own, but they were nothing in comparison to his, she wouldn't weigh him down with her insignificant problems, even if they didn't feel so insignificant sometimes. "Thank you darlin'", he smiled at her, she tried so hard to please him and he appreciated her efforts, "now we've spent enough time talking about business tonight, so let's shelve that subject. Tell me about your week"; they spent the rest of the night talking, dancing and enjoying being together, their evening reminding them of the little reasons why they'd fallen in love, it wasn't a marriage of convenience, there were real feelings there; even if the emotional side wasn't always the centre of attention, deep down it was always there.

Sue Ellen returned to the ranch a little before five, she had been out riding for hours, but she had made sure to keep an eye on the time so that she would have enough time to shower and make herself look nice again for JR when he returned from work. Their date night had renewed their romantic relationship and she almost felt like she had back when they were first married, all it took was a little love and attention and she was happy; she wanted to hold on to that feeling for as long as possible. She showered and was just blow-drying her hair in the bathroom when JR slammed the bedroom door, she heard at the sound but she didn't investigate any further; Southfork housed five other people, random loud noises were not uncommon occurrences. "Sue Ellen!?" she jumped as he appeared in the doorway, she hadn't expected him home just yet, and she definitely hadn't expected him to be in such a bad mood. Quickly switching off her hairdryer, she held her hand on her chest and calmed her breathing, "JR, you scared me. What are you doing home so early? Is everything all right?" she studied his demeanour, something was wrong; it had to be business related, because he would have acted differently if he had just come home to see her. JR softened his expression as he noticed her obvious shock at his arrival, he'd let his annoyance influence his actions and hadn't thought about how it would come across, "sorry, I came into the bedroom and you weren't there. I didn't mean to scare you", he avoided answering her questions, now realising that she probably wasn't going to be too pleased with him when he did tell her. They walked into the bedroom and Sue Ellen asked him again why he was home early; it wasn't that she was upset about it, but it was unusual, and that meant that something was wrong; she would prefer that he just tell her instead of making her try to guess. "…three or four days at the most", he finished explaining the situation and Sue Ellen composed herself, she wouldn't let him know how disappointed she was that he had to go to Washington for a few days, it wasn't his fault that there were bigger things happening in the world than their renewed relationship. "I understand; Ewing Oil has to come first", she gave him a small smile and looked at him, "besides, no one negotiates a deal like you do", she grinned, she wanted him to know that she was all right and that she supported him. "Ain't that the truth", he laughed, "Bobby was there a few months ago, but politics and especially politicians are fickle. Constant reminders are required if we want real allies, and there is no one better at giving reminders than JR Ewing", his mood changed as he spoke, manipulation and negation were two of his strengths and he was looking forward to using his skills again. He hadn't had much of a chance do anything like that lately, not with Bobby in the company; but this was his time to shine, he would get them what they wanted, at any cost. Sue Ellen watched her husband as he spoke, his whole demeanour changed when he spoke about 'reminders', he had a plan and something told her that it was delightfully evil; there was something so attractive about him when he was like this, it was the complete opposite of romantic, but it wasn't any less appealing. Sue Ellen zoned out for a moment, catching herself staring at his lips as he spoke, "are you all right sugar?" his words brought her back into reality and she blushed at the direction of her thoughts, they weren't at all ladylike, but something in his tone of voice had an effect on her, it was involuntary. JR wondered why she was so quiet, but he quietly realised what it was when she blushed, he broke into a smug grin, it was a boost to his ego to know that she was having impure thoughts about him, even if he didn't usually like to think of his wife in that way. "I… I'm fine. What time do you have to leave?" she turned toward their closet with the intention of helping him pack for his trip, she needed to distract herself from her thoughts. He was quicker than she was though, taking her hand and pulling her back to him, "later…" he whispered, his face inches from hers before he closed the gap, kissing her roughly and passionately. He was leaving for three days and he decided that he may as well leave as a satisfied man, with a satisfied wife; it was a one off thing, he could resume the romance when he returned, but for now, there were more important things on his mind.

To be continued…


	123. Silver Lining

**Washington, D.C.**

JR sat back and relaxed as the plane levelled, using the quiet time alone to consider everything; personally, the trip had been a success, he hadn't lacked companionship or satisfaction; but professionally, the oil business was in a lot more trouble than even he could attempt to fix. No longer was the United States just self-sufficient and self-reliant, they heavily dealt with foreign countries, countries who were beginning to realise the power they could hold if they banded together; it was a bigger issue than anyone had ever faced. JR was lucky that Ewing Oil was a private company, they had no shareholders to answer to, but he did have his father, and Jock wasn't going to be happy about the current situation. Jock Ewing was an original wildcatter, he was around before all the modern technology, regulations and politics that were associated with the oil business; JR wasn't looking forward to telling his father that things weren't looking too good, Jock would probably blame him and not see the bigger picture. JR took a drink and sighed, he had done the best he could and he had gotten a few people on his side, but the problems were more than he or any one man could fix, and they were just going to have to deal with that. For now, Ewing Oil was safe, they still had their producing fields and were in a position to purchase new fields if needed; it was more to do with the global price of oil and the wider industry that was cause for concern. JR sighed again, pushing the thoughts out of his mind for now, it wasn't much use worrying about it, it was out of his control.

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen sat at her dressing table as she applied her makeup and prepared herself for cocktails and dinner with the family. It was the fourth night in a row that she was going it alone and she wasn't particularly looking forward to another night without her husband, she still felt like an outsider in the Ewing family sometimes, especially when JR wasn't there to validate her presence. Finishing her hair and makeup, she heard Lucy and Bobby speaking in the hallway; taking a deep breath and putting on her best smile, she left their bedroom and made her way downstairs. Cocktail hour really wasn't as bad as she had psyched herself into thinking it would be, it was November and the topic of conversation amongst the women centred on the upcoming holiday season, it was a fairly neutral topic, something Sue Ellen didn't mind adding her own comments to. She was thankful that she had already spent a Thanksgiving weekend at Southfork, it gave her something to comment on in the conversation, and it made this year's celebration seem much less scary than it would have been otherwise. Just as Lucy was explaining her role in the Thanksgiving play her class was rehearsing, Teresa appeared in the doorway to tell them that dinner was ready. Everyone stood and made their way into the dining room, sitting down just as a car pulled up outside and parked in the driveway, the driver closing the door loudly and walking inside the house. Sue Ellen's mood lifted as her husband walked into the room, he hadn't told her that he was coming home tonight, but she didn't care about that, she was just happy to have him here now; "oh, good, looks like I'm just in time. Hello darlin'", he addressed the family and kissed Sue Ellen on the cheek before sitting down to eat. Sue Ellen smiled at him, he seemed like he was in a good mood and she hoped that it was because his business trip had gone well, because from what he had told her, it sounded like they could use all the help they could get right now. JR grinned as he sat down casually, not acknowledging the surprised looks his family were giving him, he liked being a little unpredictable, and this was harmless; besides, he didn't really want to bring down the mood just yet, there was plenty of time for that, especially after he explained everything to his father.

"JR", Jock gruffly reminded him of their after dinner meeting, JR's timing had meant that they really hadn't had time to discuss the details of his trip to Washington when he got home, and they had a general rule to not speak about business at the dinner table, so after dinner was the assigned time for that kind of talk. "I may be a while, you go do something and I'll meet you upstairs later", JR gave Sue Ellen a light kiss and sent her upstairs. He gave her specific orders to do something, because she didn't need to stand around waiting for him to finish his meeting, and he didn't want her to do nothing but sit and worry about him. He knew that she would do that if he didn't tell her not to, she took her wifely support duties seriously and she always put his needs before her own, even when it was unnecessary. Sue Ellen made her way upstairs, she was a little saddened that her husband's first night home was taken up with more business talk, but she understood, Ewing Oil had to come first, and she had to be understanding and supportive, no matter whether she felt like it or not. "Well…?" Jock looked at JR and waited for his response, he didn't expect that JR had great news, but his earlier mood had thrown him, JR hadn't seemed too down when he arrived home. Jock wasn't uninformed, the general murmurings within the industry weren't positive, things were changing in the global economy and there wasn't much they could do about it. "Well, the good news is that everyone is on our side, the price of oil is rising, and Ewing Oil has enough reserves to last us a good while yet, we're not in any immediate danger. The bad news is that in general, the supply in this country is dropping, and our peers are becoming increasingly reliant on foreign countries, that could be potentially disastrous. As I said though, Ewing Oil isn't in any real danger right now, and the people in Washington are looking in the same direction that we are", he tried to throw a positive spin on the situation. Having government policies on their side was always beneficial; they didn't always have that luxury. Jock sighed, JR was right, things weren't as bad as they could have been, "fine", he looked like he was thinking and was about to elaborate, but he chose not to, there really wasn't much more to say right now, "we'll talk about it at the office tomorrow. Now, go see your wife, that poor girl's waited long enough for her husband to come home". He meant what he said, Sue Ellen really was perfect wife material, she did everything JR asked and was a credit to the Ewing name, she deserved to be rewarded for her attentiveness every once in a while; and Jock really wanted a grandson, he wasn't going to stand in the way of their reunion.

To be continued…


	124. Thanksgiving Morning

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen awoke on Thursday morning feeling anxious and full of dread, it was Thanksgiving and all of the excitement she had been feeling about the holiday season was now gone. Jock had successfully killed her spirit again last night and she was not looking forward to a whole weekend of 'family bonding' at Southfork, especially not with her mother and Kristin joining them. They had been having such a nice evening, Lucy's class play was cute and enjoyable in a childish sort of way, and even JR kept his complaining to a minimum. Afterward, they had returned to Southfork and had a special dinner to celebrate Lucy's accomplishment; everything was going well, until Jock mentioned the one thing she had come to hate talking about, his first grandson, the Ewing heir, John Ross Ewing III. It made her feel like a failure when it was suggested that it was very surprising that they hadn't had a child yet, because it certainly wasn't due to a lack of trying, it just hadn't happened, and there was nothing she could do about it. There were only so many times they could say, 'it'll happen when it happens', before people started to think that she was barren; and if she couldn't provide an heir, then what use was she? She sometimes got the impression that she really was just a means to an end; that she was given all the benefits of being a Ewing in return for use of her womb, but every day that she wasn't pregnant was just another day that the investment in marriage didn't pay off. It wasn't so much JR that made her feel that way, he was almost as disappointed as she was every time she had no news, although she sensed that he didn't really think about the whole thing until someone else brought it up in conversation; whereas she was constantly thinking about it, in almost everything that she did. It was mostly other people's comments that bothered her, they were usually harmless things, said by people who didn't know any better, or just expected it to happen; but it still hurt when she had to tell them that there was no news to tell. It was especially damaging to her self-esteem when people insisted that they saw a 'baby bump', she knew in her mind that she hadn't gained a pound since she married JR, that she looked almost exactly as she had in her glory days as Miss Texas, but to be told that she essentially looked fat wasn't pleasant, it hurt. Jock and Miss Ellie were the worst though, they didn't comment on her appearance, but another Ewing baby was a constant topic of conversation; it was probably just excitement on Miss Ellie's part, but Jock was all business, and that didn't make Sue Ellen feel very loved. Jock didn't seem to understand that it wasn't something a woman could control, evidently it seemed that they hadn't had much trouble conceiving any of their sons and he compared everything to his own experience. Any and every hint of illness was almost always attributed to a possible pregnancy, and when she recovered and was still not pregnant, it wasn't very pleasant to have to say the words; health seemed to be a relative concept, sometimes she felt like not being pregnant was almost an illness in itself.

She sighed as she looked at the clock, it was just before seven and they had to get up soon, she and JR were picking her mother and sister up at the airport at eight forty. She was not looking forward to a whole weekend at Southfork with her family and the Ewings, she loved all of them, but family focused holidays had a way of bringing certain questions to the forefront. She was sick of dealing with everyone's questions, because she didn't have any new answers, and it broke her heart every time she had to say it aloud. She had stupidly assumed that the hard questions were over when they got engaged, but that had really only provided a brief period of relief; as soon as they were married, the questions started again, not immediately, but fairly soon after they returned from their honeymoon. The baby questions were harder to answer than the marriage questions because it wasn't something they could control. Dr Danvers had told her not to worry and to relax about the situation, she and JR were both healthy adults and it was normal for it to not happen immediately; he told her that there was no real cause for concern right now and that they should try and let things take their natural course. It was all well and good for the doctor to tell her to relax, but it was hard to relax when she constantly feared disappointing everyone; it was exhausting. JR awoke as he always did, but he didn't immediately make any moves to get up, he didn't have to go to work, and Sue Ellen's family weren't landing for over an hour, he still had plenty of time before he had to be anywhere. He lay in bed and relaxed for a moment, though his mood changed when he heard Sue Ellen sigh; he didn't know how he knew, but he knew she was upset, and he was fairly sure why, she hadn't said anything the previous night, but it was obvious that his father's constant questioning upset her. He had told her before to just ignore his father's comments or at least not take them so personally, his father was just excited about having a grandson and didn't know when to not say anything; it didn't really help though, she still seemed to get upset every time he even went near that topic. JR somewhat understood where she was coming from, but he didn't understand why she got so upset every time it was mentioned; they would have a child when the time was right, it wasn't really in their control any longer, and it wasn't something to get upset about. She never verbally expressed how she really felt about it, that she questioned her worth if she couldn't provide a child; JR just assumed that it was a normal disappointment she was feeling, and he didn't question it any further. He had no doubts that they would have a baby one day, but it wasn't something to stress out about just yet; his father wasn't even close to retirement, they still had plenty of time before he really needed an heir, and in the meantime, it wasn't all doom and gloom, trying was half the fun. "Cheer up, it's Thanksgiving", he rolled over and kissed her shoulder before slowly moving up her neck toward her lips; Sue Ellen was surprised when he spoke and started to kiss her, she hadn't realised he was awake. She was even more surprised that he was initiating something in the morning, they hadn't done that in a while, not that she minded though, she could use a little early morning relaxation, especially before she had to go and meet her mother.

"Sue Ellen!" her mother seemed to be in a good mood as she greeted her at the airport and Sue Ellen was pleased, if her mother was in a good mood, it was one less thing for her to worry about. "JR, how nice to see you again", she greeted JR before the four of them made their way to the car; "Sue Ellen, you're glowing. Something I should know?" it only took one sentence and Sue Ellen's mood dropped; she was really dreading her mother and JR's parents conversation, all together they would have a multitude of questions; it just wasn't something she wanted to deal with anymore. "Thank you mama, I suppose I've just been exercising more since we last saw each other", she blushed as she realised her accidental double entendre, she may have been glowing, but it wasn't because she was pregnant; although it probably could be attributed to a form of exercise, though not the kind of exercise one would publicly mention. With any luck though, their morning activities had sparked the beginning of the journey that everyone was waiting for.

To be continued…


	125. Thanksgiving Day

**Dallas, Texas**

"Wow, look at all of the people in the crowd, and all of the performers", Lucy and Kristin sat on the couch and intently watched the parade on television while Sue Ellen sat next to JR, half-focused on the parade and half-focused on the conversation that the other adults were having. She was happy that watching the parade on Thanksgiving morning was part of the Ewing family tradition, she had always enjoyed it as a child and it would have saddened her if something so meaningful to her was unimportant to other people. It wasn't really about the parade itself, it was more about the memories associated with it, gathering around the television with a cup of hot cocoa on Thanksgiving morning reminded her of happier times; even when her parents had been fighting, they always spent Thanksgiving together and tried to make it enjoyable. Of course, by the time Saturday rolled around, the family-bonding façade was transparent, but for those few moments, it was nice to be part of a real family. "Everything looks so exciting and magical. I've never been to New York…" she spoke more to herself than to anyone else, voicing her thoughts aloud without intention; JR heard her and pulled her closer to him, for some reason, he felt so connected to her; he didn't know what, if anything, had changed, but he wanted her close to him, he really did love her. "New York is an experience; sometime when I'm not busy with work, I'll take you for the weekend", he meant it, he would like to get away more often, but the oil business wasn't something he could just take a break from; even when they were dating he had really only been able to organize one-day trips and date nights. In his line of work, success wasn't something that just happened, he had to constantly work to be the best, and that took a lot of brainpower, long hours and hard work. "I'd like that", she smiled and leaned further into him, his arm around her and her head on his shoulder; it was about as close as they would willingly get to intimacy in front of their families. The parade played in the background and the family relaxed and enjoyed each other's company for the next hour until Teresa announced that dinner was ready.

"Grandma?" Lucy watched as Jock carved the turkey, a Ewing tradition, though one they really only observed on Thanksgiving and Christmas, any other time it was Teresa or Miss Ellie who carved the meat. "Yes Lucy?" Miss Ellie silently willed her granddaughter not to say something cheeky, she had a habit of stirring drama, "why do we call it dinner when it's clearly closer to lunchtime than dinner", she looked at her grandmother innocently and Miss Ellie laughed, relieved that it was a normal question. "Well, I don't really know, that's just what it's called and this is the way we've always done it, it's tradition. My family always ate at this time, and when your granddaddy and I married we just followed the same schedule", she looked at Jock to see whether she had missed anything out, it really did seem like the most logical answer. Jock nodded and then spoke, "that's right, but your grandma forgot one thing", Miss Ellie looked surprised, she had said all of her own reasons, she didn't realise her husband had another, "football", JR and Bobby laughed and Miss Ellie smiled, it was true, it wasn't really a Ewing Thanksgiving without football. "The Cowboys game starts just after three this afternoon; eating earlier means that we can relax and watch the game without getting hungry and ruining our appetites before dinner", he chuckled, his wife wouldn't be pleased if they snacked during the game and didn't eat their dinner. "Oh, ok", Lucy accepted his answer, she didn't particularly care about football and she didn't want to spend all afternoon talking about it. Jock finished carving the turkey and handed the knife to Teresa to serve the food; he held up his glass and made a toast, "to the one thing we should all be truly thankful for; to family, past, present and future", everyone held their glasses up, "to family". Jock sat down and waited for Teresa to serve the food, he had thought about mentioning Ewing Oil, but it wasn't just the Ewing family at the table, and it didn't really seem like an appropriate thing to say. He thought it was better to stay focused on their families as they were now and how they would hopefully be growing in the future; it didn't escape Sue Ellen's attention that he had looked directly at she and JR when he mentioned the future. Jock really was expecting a grandson any day now, and that expectation made everything more stressful for Sue Ellen, she already didn't have control over the situation, but she was beginning to feel guilty about it, as if it were something she could control and she wasn't doing enough to make it happen.

Their dinner went well and everyone managed to steer clear of directly asking when they were going to have a baby; Sue Ellen wasn't sure whether JR had said something, or whether the family were all just sick of asking and being given the same answer. She hoped that they had decided to mind their own business, but she realised that was wishful thinking, she didn't really think they would ever get tired of asking, it would always be in the back of their minds, until the day that she finally had news. It had even been alluded to at the beginning of the meal, though she was glad that those comments hadn't gone any further, it was draining to have to keep answering the same questions repeatedly, and it upset her when she didn't have good news. After dinner, everyone went outside; the men stayed close to the house and threw a football around, while the women went for a leisurely walk around Southfork. Sue Ellen couldn't help but laugh as they returned to the house, she had never seen JR in such a dirty state, he was covered from head to toe in mud and he didn't even seem to mind. "Who won?" she didn't really need to ask, Bobby was the football star of the family, but she wanted to see her husband pout, there was something she found attractive about his slightly wounded ego. "Bobby", JR rolled his eyes and wondered why she insisted on asking, his brother had always been better at physical things, though he was the better businessman, so he didn't mind, he'd rather be the best oilman in Texas than the best football player. "My poor husband", she gave him a sympathetic look, though she knew he wasn't really _that _bothered by Bobby's win, he cared more about oil than football, it was fun to play along though. JR grinned as he formulated a plan, it was about time they spent a little time alone and he knew just how to do it, "damn right your poor husband, Bobby has the advantage of youth, my poor old body just can't cope", he melodramatically explained the situation, grinning as he watched her try to keep a straight face. She stopped herself from laughing at him, she rather enjoyed when he acted like this, it was a less serious side of him, one she didn't get to see very often; "poor old body?" she moved closer to him, so only he could hear her words, "didn't feel that way this morning", she whispered. She was unsure of whether he would mind her speaking like that, but she did it anyway, she was feeling bold today for some reason, and he seemed to be in a good mood, though he also had certain boundaries that he didn't like her to cross. JR was slightly shocked when she alluded to their morning, but he was too involved now to care, she was a little flushed from her walk and his mind was focused on one thing. He grinned, getting her upstairs with him wouldn't much of a challenge, "I think you'd better help me inside, just to be safe", he wrapped his arm around her waist and 'leaned' on her for support, though it was more to annoy her than anything else. He got his desired reaction when she realised what he'd done, "JR!" she looked down at her clothes, now covered in a line of mud and dirt from his arm, "oops, I suppose you'll have to change clothes too", he grinned as he watched her get annoyed and then realise why he'd done it, her expression changing accordingly. "I can't believe you did that", she giggled as they walked toward the house, realising that they were the only ones outside anymore and it was going to look strange when they walked into the house; "you'll thank me later", he kissed her lightly before taking her hand and guiding her upstairs. She couldn't believe how cool he was as they walked past the living room, completely ignoring their mothers, Lucy and Kristin; she wasn't used to attention like that, but he didn't seem to care at all. She was glad that Jock and Bobby were already upstairs cleaning up, it would have been more embarrassing to walk past them, they seemed to be more in tune with exactly why JR would want to bring his wife upstairs with him, because despite his words, it had nothing to do with support, and everything to do with desire.

To be continued…


	126. Responsibilities

**Dallas, Texas**

"I'm sorry darlin', there's just so much to do here", JR didn't like disappointing his wife, but he had to do what was best for Ewing Oil, and right now that meant late nights and early mornings. The holiday season was always a busy time for them, but this year was even more challenging, there was so much going on in the oil business and they couldn't afford to fall behind. "Oh, ok. I'll see you when you get home then; drive safely", Sue Ellen understood, he wasn't the only one that had to pull late nights, his father and brother were also busy with Ewing Oil; it was just part of being a Ewing. She had known that Ewing Oil was important and time-consuming before she married him, and it wasn't fair to blame him for having responsibilities; the late nights alone at Southfork were part of being a Ewing wife. JR could almost hear the disappointment in her voice, it was the fourth night that week that he'd had to work late and he knew that she missed him, her whole life was wrapped up in pleasing him, and when he wasn't there she was lost, unsure of how to fill her time. "I promise, we'll have dinner together this weekend, just you and me", he hadn't had dinner at Southfork since Sunday and that was just family dinner, they hadn't had dinner alone together as husband and wife for weeks now. "Thank you; I love you", Sue Ellen smiled, it pleased her to know that she wasn't the only one who missed their time together and that he really was trying to make an effort. "I love you too, I'll see you later", he ended the conversation quickly as he looked at the clock, Bobby was supposed to be coming to see him at any minute and he didn't really want anyone else to hear him say the word love, it made him feel self-conscious when he said it aloud. Sue Ellen looked at the clock, it was only just after five, but she already knew the night would go slowly; JR had indicated that he wouldn't be home until late, it wasn't just dinner he was missing, it was the relaxation time in the evening too. The selfish part of her wished that he didn't have to work so hard, but she quickly suppressed that side of herself, she wouldn't let him see how it affected her, she wasn't supposed to complain, it was just a fact of life and she had to accept it.

"I'm going to head home now", Bobby knocked on JR's door and informed him that he was leaving; JR looked at the clock, it was almost eleven, he should probably leave soon if he wanted to see his wife at all. He had hardly spent any time with her in the past week and he wasn't totally oblivious to the fact that she was hiding her disappointment; he didn't enjoy seeing her like that, but he also had a lot of other important things that needed his attention. He looked at the stack of papers on his desk, he really did have to get them read, edited and signed before the end of the week; the holiday season meant that the administrative side of the oil business shut down for a period and they had to be ahead of the game to avoid any problems. "I'll be right behind you", he decided that another half-hour at the office was enough to get a little more work done and give him time to get home in time to see his wife before she went to bed, he didn't care if it was only to lay in bed with her and talk before they fell asleep. He worked fast, his goal in mind as he finished a good chunk of the work he had to do; he locked his office and drove home, pleased that there was almost no traffic at this time of night. Entering Southfork, he quietly made his way upstairs, something he'd perfected years ago, and walked toward his bedroom. He smiled at her efforts as he entered the room, the bedside lamp was still switched on and his wife was leaning against the pillows, but she was not awake; it appeared that his late night was just too late for her and she'd fallen asleep waiting for him. He quietly readied himself for bed before gently removing the book that was lying in her lap and turning off the light. Sue Ellen stirred as he took the book out of her hands, "how was work?", JR smiled, even in her sleep she was concerned about him, "work was fine, go back to sleep", he kissed her on the cheek and lay down, intending to get as much sleep as he possibly could, she wasn't the only one that was tired.

Sue Ellen awoke early on Saturday morning and smiled, it was the first time that week that she'd actually woken up with her husband still asleep next to her; the late nights and early mornings were part of his job, but that didn't mean she enjoyed having an absent husband. JR had promised that he was all hers today and she was content to do whatever he wanted, she just wanted to spend time with him. Looking at the clock, she realised that it was still early and they really didn't need to get up urgently, so instead of moving, she snuggled back down and fell back to sleep. JR awoke at his natural time, slightly panicked as he looked at the clock, he'd meant to get up an hour ago and he'd overslept, he had so much work to do and he was late. It took him a moment to realise that it was Saturday and he had promised Sue Ellen that he would take a little break from work; if his father wasn't going in, then he didn't have to either. He took a moment to watch her sleeping, he hadn't done that in a long time and he'd really missed it; he had been so busy the past few months that he had had hardly any time to appreciate the little things. He'd been busy getting to and staying at the top, it wasn't a position that he could just achieve and then cruise through life with, he had to keep moving, or else someone better would come along and take everything from him. His life was never easy, he was never just given things and he always had to work for what he got; that's why Bobby's position in Ewing Oil annoyed him. It had taken him his whole life to get to be Vice President of Ewing Oil, he had to go through the ranks and do almost every job in the company before he was 'ready' for the VP job, his father had insisted that he learn from the bottom up. In contrast, it only took Bobby a mere three months of working fulltime at Ewing Oil before he was promoted to what translated as third in charge; he did a little of the dirty work, but it was more of a token gesture than anything meaningful. Bobby was in a higher position than JR had been when he'd first started working fulltime at Ewing Oil, and that fact still annoyed him. JR knew that he was a better oilman than Bobby would ever be, but their father's biased views about his sons meant that didn't matter, his favourite son would always be the first choice, no matter whether he was the best choice or not. Sue Ellen began to move as she awoke and JR realised that it was silly to be worrying about his younger brother when he could be focusing on his wife; he could figure out a way to beat Bobby later, but right now he had more important things to do.

To be continued…


	127. Ewing Support

**Dallas, Texas**

"That boy's late", Jock looked at the grandfather clock in the foyer as he joined the rest of the family in the living room; he was annoyed, JR was nowhere to be seen and they were supposed to be leaving in ten minutes. He had even reminded JR earlier that he if he had work left, then he could go in early in the morning, but he was to be home in time for cocktails; he may not want to go to Lucy's school Christmas concert, but they were Ewings and they supported each other in things like this, no matter how trivial. Jock himself hadn't really wanted to attend, especially when there was so much to be done at the office, but he loved Lucy and he would never disappoint her; Lucy was the daughter he never had and he would do anything to make her happy. Sue Ellen nervously ran her finger around the rim of her glass as she glanced at the clock again, "he said he'd be here, he's probably just stuck in traffic or something". She felt the need to defend her husband, she couldn't be annoyed at JR the same way his father was, he had said he would be home and she believed him; they weren't leaving for another ten minutes anyway, and he was a man, he was able to get ready in a very small amount of time if needed. "He'd better get here soon, I don't want him making a scene by entering late, this evening is supposed to be about Lucy, not JR", deep down, Jock was actually a little excited about seeing his granddaughter's performance and he didn't want anything to go wrong, especially not something preventable. Performing arts wasn't really something he'd ever encouraged with his sons, but Lucy was a girl, she was supposed to do things like this, and naturally, being a Ewing, she had a lead role in the production this evening. "I'm sure he will, he promised he would", she exaggerated a little, promise was probably a bit strong, but he had verbally committed to coming home and she didn't expect that he would break that, especially when it was something that would disappoint his father. Just as she finished speaking, they heard the sound of a car parking in the driveway, Sue Ellen sighed with relief as she realised he was home, she wasn't sure how much more of Jock's criticism she could take, he scared her a little when he was angry.

"…'_tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la, la la la la"_, Sue Ellen teared up a little as she listened to the children sing, she loved the holiday season, there was just something so joyous and magical about it. She couldn't wait until she and JR had their own children to share memories and traditions with; her own childhood hadn't been amazing, but there were a few good moments and she treasured them. She watched Lucy onstage and she felt proud, she'd only been a Ewing for ten months, but already she had maternal feelings toward her. Deep down though, she knew that Lucy was only her niece, and that was only by marriage; she wasn't her mother and she would never have a real maternal relationship with her; she accepted that fact, but she wanted more, what she wanted now was a child of her own. Instinctively, as if he sensed her emotions, JR took her hand in his, running his thumb along the side of hers; he hadn't necessarily wanted to come tonight, but now that he was here, he could understand why it was important; it wasn't about the play itself, it was about Ewings supporting Ewings. He thought back to his own childhood, it hadn't been much of a childhood really, instead of playing like the other kids, he'd spent most of his time learning about the oil business, he'd never really had time to explore hobbies outside of that. He'd had to work for everything he had, always needing to be the best; but even in all of his work, he'd learned the importance of family, everything his father did was for Ewing Oil and the family, and everything he did was mostly for the same reasons. His work wasn't necessarily the same as applauding at a Christmas concert, and he would have never done anything remotely similar when he was a boy, but he understood why his father wanted the whole family here tonight; they were Ewings, and they stuck together. JR looked over at his wife; her facial expression was saying more than just 'proud aunt', there was a need, a wishful longing. He suspected that she was thinking about their future son again, it wasn't uncommon, she had formed a bond with Lucy and she was eager to expand their family as soon as possible; unfortunately though, they hadn't had much luck in that area of their marriage yet. He wanted a son, but he suspected that his need and want wasn't as deep as that of his wife and parents, he never expressed his feelings though. Of course, he was disappointed each time Sue Ellen said the words, but he always remained positive about it, it wasn't an immediate requirement, they still had plenty of time to have a child. Sue Ellen on the other hand, she was more emotionally attached to the idea; it was something she desperately wanted, not because she wanted a Ewing heir, but because she wanted a child, someone to nurture and love as her own.

"You were wonderful Lucy", Miss Ellie hugged her granddaughter, "mhm, better than all of those other girls, a real Ewing", Jock congratulated her with the ultimate compliment, making the Ewing name proud. He had never had a daughter, but Lucy was the next best thing, he gave her everything she ever wanted and provided her with the life she deserved, the life her parents were unable to give her. The rest of the family congratulated Lucy before making their way to the Oil Baron's Club for a celebratory dinner. "I'll have my usual", JR ordered and looked around the room absentmindedly, he wasn't paying much attention to the conversation, the family were still going on about how great Lucy was, and he really wasn't that interested anymore. He would never admit it, but he was a little jealous of the attention Lucy got for something as useless and trivial as singing, especially from his father. He had never had an interest in performing arts or anything similar, but he knew that even if he had, Jock never would've allowed him to even think about pursuing it, let alone praised him for his accomplishments in that area. JR was used to the double standards his father set and assumed his jealousy was related to that, though he soon realised how silly it was to feel that way. Lucy's childhood was already different to his own childhood, Lucy was a girl and she wasn't held to the same standards as a Ewing son; comparing himself to her was stupid, especially since he was at over twenty years older than she was. Lucy was definitely Gary's daughter though; his brother had always had a head for useless things; as a boy, he'd written poetry, painted and gone for long walks around the ranch by himself, while JR was with their father learning everything about being a real Ewing, a successful man. Gary was never interested in anything of real importance, not even learning how to properly run the ranch; sure, he was able to work it when he wanted to, but more often, he just seemed to enjoy the land for what it was, without human interference. It was something JR just did not understand, he understood land could be beautiful, but it was also an asset, something useful, not only there to look at. "JR?" he snapped back into reality as he heard his father's voice, "…the Wilson contracts, did you read them?" JR took a drink and relaxed, he knew it was just a waiting game, his father was just excited earlier, but now that he'd gotten that out of his system, he was back to talking business, just the way JR liked it.

To be continued…


	128. Brothers

**Dallas, Texas**

"I don't like it", JR paced around their bedroom while Sue Ellen sat on the bed, watching and analysing her husband; she couldn't quite work out exactly what was bothering him, but she didn't ask, she just listened. "Ewing Oil… my deals… legacy… Bobby…" he was speaking in riddles and he'd been drinking, it wasn't a good time to ask for a rational explanation, so instead, she just sat and listened, nodding and only speaking when spoken to, supporting him when he looked to her for confirmation that he was indeed correct in his opinion. She watched as he poured more bourbon into his glass and began to wonder what had happened tonight, it must have been something big, because she had thought that JR had gotten used to Bobby's presence at Ewing Oil months ago, it wasn't a new thing anymore, so something must have happened to make him act like this. They had had the annual Ewing Christmas party tonight and Sue Ellen had spent the first half of the party on JR's arm meeting-and-greeting their guests, but the second half of the evening she had hardly seen him, he was off talking business with the other oilmen while she was socialising with the ladies. Their business and social duties came first and didn't leave a lot of time for them to just be together as a couple, that's just the way social events worked, they were as much about business networking as they were about having fun. It was only now, after their guests had left, and Southfork was quiet again, that they had a minute to talk and really spend any time together; though that didn't seem to be happening right now, not the way she had expected anyway. In JR's current state, he was much too preoccupied with his problems to focus on his wife or their relationship; she accepted that that was just the way it was, he obviously had bigger things on his mind. Finishing his drink, his expression changed, it was as if he just had a moment of clarity and Sue Ellen wondered what had triggered it, "I can't destroy him, but I can make him regret crossing me. I just have to be smart about the way I do it", he seemed less angry and more conniving now, he had a plan, but he wasn't verbally communicating it to his wife. She still had no idea exactly what Bobby had done to make JR so irritated, but she was pleased that he seemed to have thought of a way to fix his problem. This was the JR Ewing that she knew and loved, he didn't let other people's actions negatively affect him; instead, he changed things and manipulated them in his own favour. From the way he spoke, Bobby would have to watch his back at all times, because JR would take him down and would be on top again soon enough, there was no doubt in her mind. "JR?" she stood and walked over to him, he'd stopped pacing and she wasn't sure what he was doing now or what he was thinking; JR turned as she spoke his name, truthfully he hadn't even really processed that she was sitting there watching his every move, he'd been too preoccupied with his thoughts to notice her actions. His mind was clear now though, she looked good standing in front of him in her party dress, they hadn't spent much time together tonight but he decided that it was time to change that. There was something about a good plan that made him see things more clearly and boosted his ego, manipulation was his game and he was the master; Bobby wasn't a threat unless he let him be, and he had just made the decision to put him back in his place, by any means necessary. As a courtesy, he would at least try to do things the right way first, but there were no guarantees, not in his world; if Bobby wouldn't go willingly, then it wasn't JR's fault if he got burned by his further plans. "What happened?" she looked up at him, her big, brown eyes were full of concern and emotion, she just wanted to help him, but right now her help wasn't what he needed or wanted. "Nothing for you to worry about, I've got it all figured out now", he looked her up and down once more before he kissed her, the passion in his kiss was enough to silence any further questions or comments.

Sue Ellen awoke on Sunday morning; sitting up and watching her husband sleep, she grinned to herself as she remembered the wonderful way they had ended their night. She liked when he was gentle and loving, but she also appreciated the other side of him, she wasn't a fragile porcelain doll that would break if he was the slightest bit rough with her, though most of the time he seemed to think she was. It wasn't often that JR dropped his inhibitions and just did what he wanted with her, and she enjoyed the rare occasions when he did. Glancing at the clock, she decided that she should just get up and let JR sleep, she wasn't tired anymore, but he would probably be hungover today after the way he'd been drinking last night. It was better for him to stay in bed and sleep now than to get up and be grumpy with her all day because she woke him unnecessarily. Quietly, she got up and readied herself for the day, making her way downstairs for breakfast where Jock, Miss Ellie and Lucy greeted her; Bobby didn't seem to be around and she assumed he was sleeping, probably in a similar state to JR. She couldn't really say she was too disappointed by his absence though, she liked Bobby, but she would always defend her husband, and JR didn't seem to be too fond of his brother right now. It was probably better that she didn't have to chat with him this morning, because she didn't really know what the situation was and how she was supposed to feel; she would have to ask JR to clarify that for her later. After breakfast, Sue Ellen gave in to Lucy's request that they go riding together, Lucy wanted to ride as much as possible now that she was on winter break, and it was always fun to have someone go with her. Sue Ellen didn't think that JR would mind, there was no way he would want to go riding, and she didn't think he would be up to doing anything strenuous today anyway, not in his current state. Sundays at Southfork were unofficially designated family days, they used the time to relax and unwind from the previous week and to prepare themselves for the upcoming week; usually they just stayed on the ranch, hanging out by the pool, riding horses or entertaining themselves inside. JR awoke in a bad mood, he was hungover and his wife was nowhere to be seen; showered and dressed, he walked downstairs, thankful when he saw that Teresa had made a fresh pot of coffee, and that the house was somewhat empty; the last thing he needed right now was a noisy environment. Sitting in the living room, he spent the next hour drinking his coffee and reading the newspaper in peace; in the back of his mind, a plan was forming, he would take Bobby down and he would be on top again soon, because nobody ever beat him in business, especially not his brother.

To be continued…


	129. Vulnerable and Powerful

**Dallas, Texas**

"Are you forgetting who originally brought you into business with Ewing Oil? I don't take kindly to my associates switching sides; I did you a favour and it's only right that you show me the same courtesy. From now on, if you want to deal with Ewing Oil, you go through me. Not Bobby, not my daddy, me. Understood?" he looked at the man and was satisfied that his point had been made. It was JR's fourth meeting of the day and he was beginning to tire of the idea that doing business with Ewing Oil meant making deals with any of the three Ewings that worked there. He didn't see it that way, his deals were his deals, he worked hard for them and he should be given credit for them; ultimately they benefitted Ewing Oil, but they also benefitted him; he knew the ins and outs of the details and he knew how to negotiate to get the best results. Ewing Oil had thrived under his method of leadership; he took things a step further than his daddy did and he would stop at nothing to be the best, even when that meant he had to use less than ethical methods to get what he wanted. His way of doing things had been working well for them for the past decade, Ewing Oil was quickly on its way to becoming the biggest independent oil company in Texas; that is, until Bobby joined the company; JR saw his brother's presence as stifling to their business success. Jock didn't seem to see things the way JR did anymore, he didn't see why Bobby's moral methods of negotiation weren't what was best for Ewing Oil and that made JR mad. JR always made sure that he went into a negotiation with the upper hand, he always had some kind of information that would encourage people to work with them; but Bobby, he seemed to think that that wasn't necessary, that they could just wine-and-dine their associates and they would automatically want to work with them. Jock encouraged free use of the three B's, but Bobby somehow managed to make it seem as if it was all just because they were being nice, not because they were secretly collecting incriminating information to use later if necessary. It was the contrast of Bobby's methods with JR's that meant that some of their business associates were realising that dealing with Bobby was a more pleasant experience, though JR saw it as Ewing Oil settling for less than what they were capable of. He didn't care whether people found him to be a nice person or not, in fact, he actually enjoyed the reputation that he had, but he didn't appreciate the way that people forgot all about that when Bobby was around, it undermined his power and influence. He had had spent the day making his way around Dallas reminding a few of their associates that he was the Ewing that made the decisions at Ewing Oil; restoring the balance of power, at least that's the way he saw things. Of course, his father was still the president and ran a majority of the company, but JR was really the negotiator, the one that could make seemingly impossible things happen, he didn't have the boundaries that other people had, and that worked in their favour most of the time, he was responsible for a lot of Ewing Oil's current success. Leaving the man's office, he was satisfied that their Dallas partners were once again on his side, he always had the power, he just had to show that he could and would use it. His final stop of the day was to somewhere less savoury, though thoroughly enjoyable for all of the men involved; it was a necessary connection to have, and it definitely came in handy when he needed the fourth B, blackmail. He could always trust the group of women to be loyal to him, he was the one paying them and they were the kind of women that responded to monetary influence. The situations they manufactured were always for the benefit of Ewing Oil and never required their business associates to pay for the services. JR was confident that he had full control of the situation, but he decided to visit them anyway, for old times' sake; it had been a while since he'd sampled their services and he thought he deserved a little reward for his hard work today.

Sue Ellen and Miss Ellie walked around The Store as they did a little last minute Christmas shopping; Sue Ellen had already bought all of her big presents, but she always enjoyed shopping, so when Miss Ellie had asked her whether she wanted to go into Dallas, she immediately agreed. She could always find more small gifts for everyone, because there was no such thing as too many presents; that was a lesson she had learned from JR, he was a man who knew exactly how to buy his way into woman's affections, or at least influence them positively. "Let's go up to the children's department, I want to buy a few more things for Lucy", Miss Ellie spoke and Sue Ellen followed as she led them up the stairs, she would go wherever her mother-in-law wanted, she already had everything that she actually needed. "I'll just be over here", Sue Ellen motioned toward the toddler clothing, she had already bought enough for both Lucy and Kristin, but she only had one gift for Paula's son James; she may not see her friend very often, but she still cared about her, and the least she could do was send a nice gift at Christmas. She quickly found a few things that would be perfect, and then just walked around looking at the rest of the accessories, blankets, toys and other cute things. She didn't realise how much of a mistake she had made until she was right there, standing in the middle of the nursery section, staring straight at the large display of baby clothes. It wasn't that she had deliberately walked toward those particular clothes, it was more as if she had been drawn there subconsciously. "Oh aren't these lovely, so festive. I can't wait until there's a little Ewing to wear something like these", Sue Ellen jumped as she heard Miss Ellie's voice, and she held back tears at her comment, she wanted a child so badly and it hadn't happened for them yet, it was disappointing, frustrating and embarrassing. "Yes, they're lovely… was there anywhere else you wanted to go? I think I have everything I need"; she knew that she couldn't blame Miss Ellie for her reaction, she was just an excited grandmother, but that didn't mean that she wanted to discuss it. She would never cry in the middle of a store, but she was having a hard time controlling her emotions and she really didn't want to dwell on the subject for any longer than necessary. Miss Ellie sensed that her daughter-in-law was a little uncomfortable but she didn't question her, it wasn't her business to pry, "no, I think I found everything that I wanted. I'm ready to go home if you are?" Sue Ellen nodded and they silently made their way downstairs to purchase their items before they drove back to Southfork. Sue Ellen didn't like when her emotions affected her outward mood, she had always been taught to publicly display a happy façade, but it was difficult sometimes, especially when she felt so powerless. Just wanting a baby wasn't enough, it wasn't something that money or status could influence or buy, it was purely biological and that wasn't at all comforting; she felt useless and weak, and those feelings just made her even more stressed out. Her worst fear was that as time went on, her worth to the Ewing family would diminish, and she would be left with nothing. Of course, JR brushed off her thoughts as silly female emotions, assuring her that that would never happen, and that she shouldn't even worry about it because he was sure that they would have a baby soon enough; but his words didn't comfort her. It was fine for JR to be confident and unconcerned about the situation, he was the one with all the power, if she couldn't have a baby then he wouldn't really lose anything except time if they got a divorce and he had to remarry to find a mother for his son. It was different for her, she was the vulnerable one in their relationship, being infertile and divorced would make her completely unmarriable and that really scared her. She loved JR, and she was fairly certain that he loved her, but that didn't mean that she didn't fear the unknown sometimes; it wasn't a completely rational fear, and it wasn't something that was always at the forefront of her mind, but it was a thought entered her mind in moments where she got stressed or started to worry. Returning to Southfork, she pushed the negative thoughts out of her mind; it wasn't actually a reality yet and JR didn't seem concerned about it, she was causing herself unnecessary stress and that wasn't good for anyone.

To be continued…


	130. Rekindled Relationship

**Dallas, Texas**

"Sue Ellen? Where's JR? I assumed he'd be here with you when we arrived. Is everything all right between you two?", Patricia and Kristin followed Sue Ellen through the airport parking lot and Sue Ellen suppressed an eye roll, her mother was always pushing for drama even when there was none there. "Everything's fine mama; JR sends his regrets that he couldn't be here to meet you, but he's very busy with work, today is Ewing Oil's last business day before they shut down over the holiday break. He'll be at Southfork for dinner though", truthfully, she hadn't even asked JR to come, she knew he was busy at work and she knew how he felt about her mother, she wasn't going to force him to come when it wasn't necessary for him to be there, he would see her mother at Southfork later anyway. "Oh, good, I wouldn't want anything to go wrong. You may be married, but that doesn't mean you're in the clear"; Sue Ellen listened to her mother and sighed, she never could just take things for what they were, she just had to remind Sue Ellen that her achievements weren't enough and that she could always do better. Across town, JR sat in his office, frantically checking and rechecking his paperwork, their office was closing for eleven days between Christmas and New Year, and they had to be ahead in all of the administration work so that when they returned, they weren't bombarded with a pile of things that needed attention. They also had to have plans in place for anything that could possibly go wrong at their various oil fields; the office may be closed over the holidays, but their fields remained open, and they had to be prepared for any issues that could come up. JR had a vague plan about how he would inch Bobby out of the Dallas operations, but that wasn't what was on his mind at the moment; for now, he just needed to get everything that immediately needed attention done, he could worry about Bobby later.

"So… how's life in Austin? I heard that you made mostly A's and a few B's this semester. Mama must be proud", Sue Ellen and Kristin rode their horses slowly around Southfork as they spent time 'bonding' as sisters. Sue Ellen knew that Miss Ellie meant well when she suggested it, but she still wasn't too pleased to actually be here; the whole situation was somewhat awkward for both of them, they hadn't been alone together in months, and Sue Ellen really had no idea what to say to her sister. Kristin scoffed at her sister's sentence, "come on sis. Mama? Proud of an academic achievement? If you believe that, then you're all Ewing and no Shepard", she laughed casually as they neared the pond, "sure, she was happy, but I think she was happier when my dance teacher presented me with a high distinction certificate. She said that ballet would be a good talent for the Young Miss Austin pageant next year. I have to agree a little though, I'd much rather be Miss Texas than some nerdy girl. Good grades won't get me a husband, but good looks will". Sue Ellen was a little shocked at her sister's response and the casual way that she brushed off their mother's personality. It was surprising and a little disconcerting to hear her sister so freely accepting and agreeing with the ideas and values that their mother pushed, that she didn't see anything wrong with the idea that being beautiful was a better goal than being smart. It just sounded so wrong coming from a child of Kristin's age, she wasn't even old enough to think boys were attractive, let alone be thinking about how to find her future husband. Sue Ellen hadn't agreed with everything her mother had taught and she had fought with her about some of her ideas, but she had still ended up living the life that her mother planned for her; if Kristin was already agreeing with her mother, then she wasn't sure she had much hope of doing anything else with her life. It wasn't that Sue Ellen was unhappy with her life, she wasn't, she loved JR and the Ewings, and Southfork, and everything that came with her new life; but she sometimes questioned whether she would have ended up with the same life if she had been allowed to make a few more of her own decisions. She had always known that the way her mother planned her life was a little strange, she never really did the things that everyone else was doing, but hearing about it from a third-party perspective now was giving her a completely new insight into just how different Patricia's method of parenting really was. "That's true, but don't give up on academics yet. Good wives should always be educated and worldly, wealthy men don't want a wife who is unable to hold a conversation", Sue Ellen tailored her reply to appeal to the side of her sister that was influenced by her mother and she was surprised at how naturally it came out. It was a speech she had heard a million times before, beauty and grace were only part of what being a lady was about, a college degree was always an asset, not only for the educated mind, but for the connections made in those four years. "I know, I'm not stupid. Remember, I got all A's and B's", Kristin rolled her eyes and squeezed her legs to make her horse's speed increase, she was annoyed, and riding faster seemed like a good solution to her current mood. Sue Ellen was in no position to claim that aspiring to be a beauty queen was wrong, she had been Miss Texas and she didn't seem to mind the glory that came with that title, it wasn't fair of her to try and discourage her from wanting the same thing for her own life. "Kristin!" Sue Ellen shouted as her sister took off in front of her, they had been taking it slow for a reason, Kristin wasn't an experienced rider and she really shouldn't have done that, it wasn't safe. She sighed and clicked her tongue, pushing her legs into position as she galloped off toward her sister, they hadn't even really been arguing and Kristin had overreacted, but she was still responsible for her safety and she wouldn't have her mother blaming her for Kristin's actions if she did get hurt.

"How was work? Did you get everything done?" Sue Ellen yawned as she changed for dinner, her mother and sister had only been in Dallas for a matter of hours and already she was exhausted from entertaining them; that didn't give her an excuse to neglect her husband's needs though, she would always put him first. JR looked over at his wife, her family had only just arrived and already he could see the difference in her demeanour, she really wasn't completely comfortable with them around, and he couldn't say he blamed her; her mother's constant social commentary was enough to make anyone go insane. He was thankful that they were only staying until the twenty seventh, he could deal with four days, but anything more than that was exhausting; he wasn't sure how Sue Ellen had survived living with Patricia Shepard for over twenty years. "Work was fine; busy, but I managed to get everything done. Short of an explosion at one of the fields, everything should be fine for the next eleven days, I planned for almost anything", he gave her the quick version of his day, he didn't want to bore her with the details. Sue Ellen smiled, he'd been so busy lately and he deserved a break; she was glad that he had planned enough that there wouldn't be any little things he had to go into the office for. They had eleven days to just enjoy time together as a couple and as a family, and she intended on doing whatever he wanted to do to help him relax; his happiness would be good for both of them. "Good, I'm glad. You deserve a break", she walked toward him and took hold of his tie, straightening it, partially because it was crooked, but mostly just because she wanted to touch him; JR was a little surprised when she approached him so intimately, he hadn't sensed that she was in that kind of a mood when they'd started their conversation. He could understand why she'd changed and was happy now though, he hadn't been the most attentive husband lately, but with his commitment to a break, she had to be pleased that they would actually get a little time to themselves again. It wasn't entirely his fault that their relationship had been a little distant lately, he had so much more going on in his life than just his marriage and sometimes he had to prioritise other things over their relationship. He understood why she was saddened by his late nights and happy with the small things that he did for her though; he may have more in his life, but being a good wife was her whole purpose in life, she always put him first, even when he didn't do the same for her. "Sue Ellen", he whispered as he looked down at her, they were so close, and it was exhilarating, it didn't matter that they were married and had done it a million times before, there was just something about the closeness and intimacy of their actions that made him feel different, it was a nice feeling. She sensed a change in his voice and looked up at him as he spoke her name, shivering as he ran his hand over her cheek; opening her mouth to respond, his lips on hers silenced her and it was as if all of his pent-up emotions were coming out as he kissed her. She moaned as he deepened the kiss, both of them aware but not at all caring that they were expected downstairs in five minutes; right now they had much more important things to attend to.

To be continued…


	131. Understanding

**Dallas, Texas**

"Thank you for doing this with me. I know you don't really enjoy riding, but I wanted us to do something together, something quiet and relaxing, just the two of us", it was the day after Christmas and she wanted to unwind after their busy day yesterday, it had been enjoyable, but with that many people around, it was hard to really relax, and she was exhausted. What she really wanted was to spend a little time getting reacquainted with her husband; it wasn't that their marriage had been bad lately, bad wasn't the word, it was just a little distant, he had been busy with work and they'd neglected to really focus on anything other than the surface of their marriage. They had dated for almost three years before they actually got married, and they used to spend a lot more time just being together as a couple rather than acting their roles as husband and wife. All Sue Ellen wanted was a little reminder that they hadn't changed so much that they were no longer the same people that they were in the beginning. They could definitely use a little extra boost, something to remind them of just how deep their feelings for each other actually were and why they fell in love in the first place and this week seemed like the perfect time to start that process. JR only had a limited amount of days where he was free to just enjoy himself without having to think about Ewing Oil all the time, and Sue Ellen intended on taking advantage of that; not that JR minded, he did love his wife, and he knew that he hadn't been the best husband lately. "It's fine darlin', I know you like riding and I'd much rather be here with you than battling the crowds of people out there today", he knew that most public places would be busy, he wasn't the only one that took the days between Christmas and New Year as a break. The normally relaxing parks and recreation areas would be overrun with people, and the stores would be full of shoppers looking for a bargain. He didn't see any reason to join the chaos, he was rich, he didn't have to wait for a sale to buy nice things, and Dallas wasn't going anywhere, he could enjoy the attractions anytime he wanted. He'd never admit it, but she was right, it was actually rather relaxing to just slowly ride around the ranch on horseback, it was peaceful and they were finally getting to spend some time alone together as a couple. It was nice to get away from the house for a few hours, he liked his family, and he tolerated Sue Ellen's family, but that didn't mean he wanted to spend all day with them or that he didn't appreciate a little peace and quiet. He liked when he and Sue Ellen had time together to just enjoy being husband and wife without having to attend to other people too, so when she suggested riding their horses down to the pond for a picnic, he only protested a little bit, he had to keep up appearances, but he wanted to please her too.

"I missed this", they walked hand in hand around the pond, talking about everything and nothing as they just enjoyed each other's company. It was exactly the relaxed feeling that Sue Ellen had been looking for when she suggested spending the day together and she was pleased that they'd fallen straight back into their behaviour from when they were dating and first married, before he got busy with work; it wasn't awkward to be together, it was nice. JR sighed as she spoke, she'd just confirmed his thoughts from a few days ago, she'd acknowledged that their relationship had been missing something the past few months; it wasn't intentional, but that didn't matter, she still felt it, and he knew that he should have put more of an effort into being a husband. He didn't want to hurt her with his actions, but it happened anyway, and it annoyed him that it had taken so long for him to notice the way things had become; he'd been so caught up in work and everything that concerned the oil business that he didn't really notice the way things were between them. It was an asset to have a wife who hung on his every word and was always there to serve him, but it was also a problem; she never voiced any complaints about his behaviour, she just sat by and accepted things as they were, because a good wife never complained about her husband's work. "So did I…" he stopped walking and turned toward her, pausing as he tried to think of the right way to apologise for his lack of attention lately. He wasn't usually a remorseful man, but there was something about his young, innocent wife that made him want to do right by her, she really tried to be a good wife and the least he could do was put a little effort into being a good husband. "Sue Ellen… I'm sorry that this is such a big deal, something simple like a picnic date shouldn't be complicated or rare, but unfortunately it is, and I take full responsibility for that. It's my fault that we haven't spent much time together lately, I let everything else get in the way of our relationship and I'm sorry about that, I didn't even realise I was doing it until a few days ago. I love you and I want you to know that I will always love you, even when I'm busy with work, or I'm tired, or I don't show as much interest in something as I should; it's not an attack against you, it's just me being preoccupied with everything else. I promise, I will try and make sure that we don't get to this point again, you're my wife and we should spend more time together, but unfortunately things don't always work on a marriage-friendly schedule, there are things that need to be done and there's no way around them. I need you to understand that, please, I might not always show it, but I do love you", he looked at her and suddenly felt vulnerable, he was never this open with his feelings and even though they were the only two people around, he still felt exposed, like he'd said too much.

Sue Ellen listened to her husband as he acknowledged and explained his actions from the past few months, she wasn't mad at him, she understood that his work had to come first, but it was still nice to hear that he was sorry about the way things had been and that he was committed to trying to improve them. "Thank you, I love you too. When we said those vows to each other on our wedding day, I meant it, I love you and I will do anything for you. I know that marriage isn't always romantic and I'm not upset with you for making that a reality; all I want is for our marriage to be the best that it can be, but I understand that you can't always be here with me, I understand that Ewing Oil has to take priority sometimes, and I will always support you. You're my husband and I'm your wife, it's my duty to be here for you when you're down or stressed about something, it's not my place to nag you or tell you what to do; I just want to be the best wife I can be, and if that means waiting for you, then I will. But thank you, thank you for acknowledging and committing to try and improve things, I couldn't ask for anything more. I love you JR Ewing, and I don't intend on giving you up", she smiled at him as she finished speaking, she didn't want their day to be too serious and she didn't want to dwell on their problems any longer. All she wanted was to have a nice day with her husband, no problems or worries, just a good time for them as a couple, and if helping him work through his guilt was the way to get there, then she would do just that. JR was relieved as she finished speaking, she really was an understanding woman, he wasn't so sure he could be as understanding if he were in her position, but he was grateful that she took everything in her stride and was committed to being a good wife. That's all he could really ask for, he wasn't in control of all of the variables, but he could somewhat control his wife, though he was pleased that he didn't need to, she was already on his side. "Good, because I don't intend to give you up either, you're stuck with me, forever", he grinned at her facial expression as he spoke, glad that the mood was no longer heavy; "it's a burden, but I suppose someone has to do it", she responded and it was her turn to laugh as his expression changed. JR was just pleased to see her laugh, he loved when they were casual with each other and there was no pressure; moving closer to her and closing the gap between them, he kissed her, deeply and passionately, without a care for anything else but their relationship right at that moment. A few minutes later, Sue Ellen pulled away, there was only one direction that their actions were heading and she feared the consequences of anyone seeing them if they continued for much longer; they were in an open area, and anyone could pass by. As much as she wanted to go there, she wouldn't compromise her privacy or dignity like that, though that didn't mean they were cancelling their activities, they were just postponed until they got back to Southfork; "come on, let's eat. I made sure that Teresa packed all of your favourites". JR was a little disappointed when she pulled away from him, but he understood why she did, he wouldn't want anyone seeing his wife like that anyway, and with the way things were going between them right now, he wouldn't have to wait long before he got his satisfaction.

To be continued…


	132. Clarification

**Dallas, Texas**

"Oh JR, it was a wonderful symphony, thank you for taking me", Sue Ellen was still gushing as she removed her jewellery and dress and changed into her nightgown, she was very much enjoying the change in JR and she wanted him to know that she appreciated his efforts. "I'm glad to hear that", he walked over and stood behind her as she looked at her appearance in the mirror, brushing her hair and tying it in a ponytail as she prepared to brush her teeth and remove her makeup. She shivered as he placed his hands on her shoulders and they made eye contact in the mirror, his touch was electric and she never grew bored of the effect he had on her, "I… did you enjoy it? I know that the arts wouldn't be your first choice activity if someone asked you what you wanted to do, but do you at least somewhat enjoy it? I would hate for you to be miserable on our dates, they're as much about your happiness as they are mine". JR was surprised as she started speaking, he hadn't expected that question at that particular moment; she went from one end of the spectrum to another, from not saying enough, to overthinking things; one thing always remained consistent though, she was always thinking about him, even when she didn't have to. "Yes darlin', I enjoyed it, just because something may not be my favourite thing, doesn't mean that I can't appreciate the talent and hard work that goes into making it; and besides, if I really didn't want to go, we wouldn't have gone. I brought you because I know you enjoy those kinds of things, and seeing you happy makes me happy", he moved closer toward her ear and whispered, "and between you and me, I may have found myself actually enjoying the music, but that'll be our little secret, I have a reputation to maintain". His hush-hush comment made her laugh and he was glad that she wasn't dwelling on the situation, he really didn't feel like having such a serious conversation after what had been a perfectly lovely evening. She was allowed to be happy about things she enjoyed if she wanted to, she didn't have to second-guess herself and worry about his feelings all the time; he was a grown man and he was perfectly capable of voicing his own likes and dislikes, she didn't have to keep asking him about his feelings before deciding her own. He wasn't lying when he answered her, if she had suggested something that he absolutely did not want to do, then he simply would have said no and it would have been the end of the conversation; there were very few things she could suggest that he would deny her though.

Sue Ellen pulled back and looked at him, switching back into a serious conversational mode, "thank you for telling me that. I love you and all I want is to be a good wife and make you happy. Sometimes I just need a little confirmation that I am doing the right thing and that you are happy, that's all", she looked him in the eyes as she spoke and JR was sure that she spoke the absolute truth, it was just who she was. "Darlin', I am happy, so just relax and enjoy yourself. I promise, if I'm ever unhappy, you'll know. But until then, stop worrying. As you just said, our marriage is about both of us being happy; that means that you're allowed to enjoy something just because you like it, you don't have to always look to me for approval, though it pleases me that you do. I love you, and I don't want you to drive yourself into unhappiness by making my happiness your only goal though. So, how about we just forget this whole thing? I'm happy, you're happy, and until further notice, there doesn't need to be a constant discussion about it". He wasn't sure whether he'd been too harsh, but he brushed the thought off, he wasn't attacking her, he was just explaining how he felt; she didn't need to be so concerned all the time, and hopefully his message had gotten through and she would finally relax. Sue Ellen's heart beat faster as he finished speaking and pulled her into a hug, his words were reassuring, he wasn't upset or angry with her, in fact he seemed to be more concerned that she was over-worrying herself and making herself unhappy. His concern was touching and she was pleased that they had had that conversation, it had cleared a few things up for her, though deep down it was still all very confusing. She truly believed that a good wife was always a follower, not a leader, and her husband's happiness should always come before her own. She asked him questions to garner his feelings about certain things and form her opinion on issues; she didn't want to appear too happy or excited about something that she knew he had no desire to talk about or do. Even though he told her to stop being so concerned about it, it wasn't that easy, she was a natural worrier and she was quite traditional, she would always put his needs before hers, that's just how it was. As he wrapped his arms around her, she got a familiar feeling in her lower abdomen, he had a way of making her want him even when he didn't particularly indicate that that was where they were heading, it was just another thing in a long list of hang-ups she had. She felt guilty for wanting her husband even when she wasn't sure that he wanted her, it made her feel promiscuous; she had always believed that she was a good girl and good girls weren't supposed to feel the way she did, and they certainly didn't act on those feelings. JR felt her tense up as he hugged her and he was confused, he had thought that their conversation would clear up any problems, but she still wasn't relaxed, "is something wrong darlin'?" he pulled back and looked her in the eye. His eye contact was almost too much for her to handle and she stuttered as she spoke, "n…no"; JR grinned as he realised what the 'problem' was, though it wasn't really a problem, they were married and there was nothing wrong with the way she felt, she just needed to believe that and loosen up a little. "Good, because there's something you can do to make me very happy, something I want you to enjoy too", he added the final part of his sentence for her benefit, he needed to reinforce his previous message. Marriage was harder work than he'd originally anticipated and it was a constant learning experience but he hoped that she would take his words to heart and relax, she didn't need to be so uptight all the time. He only gave her a second to process his words before he kissed her, giving her no doubt that her thoughts weren't wrong and he was thinking the same way. Picking her up and carrying her to their bed, he skilfully removed her nightgown and did exactly what he wanted, hoping that his actions and words had finally gotten through to her.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thank you for the recent reviews, I hope everyone is enjoying the story, I'm enjoying writing it (just to clarify, I do have a life lol, I've been writing a few chapters each weekend though, hence why there's usually a new chapter every day, they don't take that long to write when you're focused and enjoy doing it). I would love a little feedback about anything in the story or writing, but in particular about the pacing. Is it too fast/slow or just right? Does it make sense? I have a calendar reference in front of me, but I'm unsure whether the timing comes across clearly in the writing (for reference, it's December 1970, was that clear?), thanks.**


	133. Emotion

**Dallas, Texas**

"…go upstairs and pack, we'll leave in an hour, I don't want to get there too late, we have to be up early tomorrow". Sue Ellen got an uneasy feeling as she heard Jock giving directions to his sons as they arrived home from work on Friday evening, it sounded like they were planning a trip somewhere, and it sounded immediate. If that was the case then she would be very disappointed, she had been waiting all week to finally get to spend a little time with JR; he had gone back to work on Monday and had been busy ever since. It didn't take her long to realise that the attention he'd given her during his holiday break was short-lived, he had to focus on Ewing Oil and she understood that, but it still hurt to realise that she wasn't at the top of his list of priorities. The three men entered the house and briefly acknowledged the women in the living room, though they quickly moved upstairs without any real explanation; whatever their plans were, they were obviously more important than family time. Sue Ellen followed her husband upstairs, she wanted an explanation, but she dreaded the result of their conversation, she was almost positive that JR wouldn't be spending much time with her this weekend, despite his promise to focus on their relationship as a married couple. JR rummaged through his closet, looking for his safari jacket and pants, they were going hunting and he needed an appropriate outfit; "JR?" he jumped as he heard Sue Ellen speak, he hadn't heard her enter the room. "What's going on?" she dreaded his answer, she could see that he was packing to leave, and it didn't seem as if he'd even given her a second thought. "We're going hunting", he replied simply, still focused on his closet, "but…" Sue Ellen was hurt, he had promised that he would take her out for dinner and dancing tomorrow night and she had been looking forward to it all week; JR stopped as he heard her tone of voice, she sounded hurt, confused and almost a little angry. Turning toward her, he realised how his actions must have looked to her; just two weeks ago, he had made a promise to pay more attention to their marriage, and now, at the first chance he got, he was leaving, choosing his father over his wife. He didn't really mean for it to happen like that, he had genuinely just been thinking like a bachelor again, he had forgotten to consider that he had a wife waiting for him at home, a wife who he had been somewhat neglecting for the past few months and who he had just recommitted to spending time with. "I'm sorry darlin', I didn't plan it; actually, no one really planned it. We were having lunch with some of the members of the cartel today, the conversation turned toward hunting, and it reminded daddy that we hadn't been for a while. You know how these things are, one thing led to another and all of a sudden we had plans to go hunting this weekend. I couldn't exactly say no", he covered his actions by making it seem as if he had no choice but to go hunting; it was partially true, but the real truth was simply that he hadn't even thought about her feelings when he agreed.

Sue Ellen sighed, she didn't mind him going hunting with Bobby and Jock, he was allowed to do that if he wanted to, but it would have been nice to know in advance. However, from his explanation, it sounded like there wasn't a whole lot of prior planning to the whole thing and it really wasn't his fault that she didn't know. She was more disappointed than angry, but she understood; he had given her a speech last week about each of them having their own interests, and she was on board with that idea, but she still wanted time for them to be a couple together. "Ok… when will you be back?" she whispered, unsure of how she was supposed to act now, she wanted to be happy for him, it wasn't often that he went hunting and he deserved to do things that he wanted, but the selfish side of her was just upset with him and his lack of consultation, intentional or not. "Sunday evening", he was conflicted, on one hand he felt guilty for disappointing her, but on the other, he was annoyed that she was acting like he had betrayed her; he was allowed to go away for the weekend if he wanted to, and he didn't have to ask her permission first. Logically though, he knew that that wasn't really what she was saying and she was just disappointed, "hey, how about Monday night we go out for dinner, just the two of us? Then next weekend we'll do something better, I promise", he didn't enjoy disappointing her, but he wasn't going to cancel his plans for her either; postponing their evening was the next best option. Sue Ellen looked at him and smiled, she still wasn't entirely happy, but he was trying, and that was good enough for her, "sure, that sounds nice. Do you need any help packing?" she decided to move on and not make a big deal about it anymore, it wasn't in her control and pressuring him to change his plans wouldn't do her any good.

"Are you sure you don't want to join us? You're welcome to", Miss Ellie watched her daughter-in-law and couldn't help but feel bad for her, she was young and still somewhat of a newlywed, JR was her whole life and she hadn't yet figured out that she was allowed to have her own friends and interests beyond her marriage. It wasn't a big deal to Ellie that Jock had gone away for the weekend, she and Mavis had already had plans together and her plans had nothing to do with her husband. "No thank you, I think I'll just stay in, maybe read a book, or clean out my closet", truthfully, Sue Ellen wasn't comfortable intruding on her mother-in-law's plans, even if she was invited. The Ewings and the Andersons had a well-established friendship and routine, once or twice a month they would all have dinner together, before they split and went their separate ways, the men to the Cattlemen's Club, and the women to an event, tonight was the ballet, something that neither of their husbands had much interest in. Sue Ellen liked the Andersons, but they were Jock and Miss Ellie's friends, not hers, she would feel awkward inserting herself into their plans. Miss Ellie politely left the room, silently worried about Sue Ellen; she was only twenty-three but she didn't seem to have any meaningful friendships, though as she thought about it, neither did JR, he seemed to care more about Ewing Oil than he did other people sometimes. She sighed it wasn't right, but there wasn't anything she could do about it. Sue Ellen tidied their bedroom and then wandered downstairs in search of something to do; Lucy was at a sleepover and Teresa was the only one home, though she was busy cleaning and she wasn't nearly desperate enough to disturb the maid just so that she had someone to talk to. Southfork was a big house when she was there all alone and she decided that she didn't enjoy the stillness and emptiness, it was a home that was meant to be filled with people, it just didn't feel right any other way. After walking around the house three times, she ended up in the living room, pouring herself a drink and deciding to read a magazine, hoping that it would distract her from her thoughts, though it didn't, her mind wandering as she sat in the large room alone. She would have liked to see the ballet, but she would rather see it with JR or a friend, the only problem was, she didn't really have any friends to call and invite, and she hadn't had any real friends for a while; she had a lot of acquaintances, but not a lot of friends. She still felt like somewhat of an outsider in Dallas, though even in Austin she hadn't managed to maintain many of her college friendships after she graduated, her life had gone in such a different direction that she had a hard time relating to anyone nowadays. The people she socialised the most with were the Ewings, though she was sure that that was only because she was there, not because they really liked her; that's why spending time with JR was so important to her, he was the most significant person in her life and he was the only one she really wanted to be with. A wave of sadness washed over her as she realised the true state of her life, if she didn't have JR, then she didn't have anyone, that's just the way it was. Without conscious thought, she finished half of the bottle of vodka in the downstairs drinks cart, not realising exactly how much she had had to drink until she stood to get another drink, the room moving a little as she walked. Making an executive decision, she went upstairs and changed, getting into bed before she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, her emotional state questionable, though there was no one around to notice.

To be continued…


	134. Reunited

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen stood in the elevator and watched the numbers tick over, rapidly ascending toward the top of the building; for some reason, she felt nervous, though she had no idea why, she was only meeting JR for dinner, something they had done a million times before. It wasn't their first date or anything, but it almost felt like it was, she hadn't seen him properly in over a week; a morning kiss as he left for work and a quick explanation before bed about his day was not the same as spending quality time together as a couple. The men had returned to Dallas early on Sunday evening, just in time for cocktails and dinner, telling stories of their hunting trip to the family before heading off to bed early; it didn't matter that they owned the company, they still had to go to work on Monday, whether they were tired or not. The whole weekend had been less than ideal for Sue Ellen, she was sad and lonely and it didn't help that JR didn't seem to really notice or care that she had spent her whole weekend waiting for him to return. A normal weekend wouldn't have mattered too much, she could deal with him having his own plans that didn't involve her, but she would have appreciated a little advanced warning, it meant that she could at least pretend that her mother was begging her to visit Austin instead of sitting around Southfork like a recluse. It wasn't that she didn't know anyone in Dallas, she did, she was friendly with a lot of the DOA ladies, but they weren't close enough that she actually wanted to socialise with them out of choice, it was more social obligation and keeping up appearances than anything else. The elevator bell dinged and the doors opened as she walked out into the reception area of Ewing Oil; "can you please call through and tell my husband that I'm here", she smiled at JR's secretary and waited, not noticing the glare Julie was giving her from the other side of the room. Julie sat at her desk as she finished typing the documents for Jock, it was just after five and she was free to leave any time now, but she wanted to finish her work for the day so that she didn't have to do it in the morning. As the elevator doors opened, she instantly regretted her decision, JR's perfectly boring little wife had just arrived and she looked stunning; seeing Sue Ellen standing there brought to the forefront the feelings of jealousy and anger that she had buried months ago. She was still bitter about the fact that JR had barely given her the time of day since he married Sue Ellen; sure, there had been one or two quick afternoons, but it was nothing like the old days. Now, it always felt like he was using her when he did pay attention to her, it wasn't because he really cared anymore, she may as well have been a hooker for all he was concerned. She couldn't understand it, Sue Ellen just was not JR's type, she couldn't believe that they were really compatible, especially not in the bedroom; it had taken her years to work out how to properly please JR Ewing, and she couldn't imagine that a dull girl like Sue Ellen would be willing to do those sorts of things.

"Hi sugar", JR came out of his office and walked over to Sue Ellen, looking her up and down before he lightly kissed her. He took her hand and led her toward his office, his smile getting wider as he processed her appearance; just because he was a busy man, didn't mean that he didn't appreciate his wife's beauty, and tonight, she looked stunning, "come into my office, I just have a few small things to finish and then I'm all yours". Sue Ellen's nervousness lessened as she watched his reaction to her, it wasn't their first date, but he looked at her as if it were, she had no doubt that he loved her and that he wasn't purposely neglecting her, it was just something that happened. He had a particular way of making all of her upset just disappear with just one look and she found it difficult to even be angry with him anymore; following him into his office, she remained quiet, waiting for him to direct her actions, she didn't want to disturb him or get in the way. "Would you like a drink?" he asked more as a rhetorical question than anything else, if he was having a drink, then she would too, she always followed his lead. "Thank you", Sue Ellen quietly responded as he handed her her drink, she wasn't sure what she was supposed to do, he had said that he still had work to do, but he just seemed to be standing and looking at her. JR broke the silence, clearing his throat and speaking, "I just have to finish reading and sign these contracts and then we can go. Don't worry, I'll be done in plenty of time to make our reservation. I'm sorry I don't have any magazines or anything, there might be some in reception, I could get my secretary to bring one in for you if you'd like", Sue Ellen shook her head, she was content to just sit on the couch and wait for him, she didn't mind. He wasn't sure whether she would get bored with doing nothing, but she insisted she was fine, so he kissed her lightly and walked back to his desk, his full attention focused on the documents in front of him. Sue Ellen sat and began to watch him as he worked, realising that she had never really done that before, every other time she met him in his office, he was usually ready to leave right away; she had never just observed him in his natural habitat. She relished in the opportunity to do it now, he was a fascinating man, so focused and confident, the oil business was his element, and it gave a completely new dimension to his demeanour. She watched him, observing and analysing every little bit of his appearance and behaviour; she always thought he looked good, but the way he looked in a business environment was especially interesting and exciting. He sat back in his chair, his jacket off and his shirtsleeves rolled up, it was the relaxed look he got when he knew he didn't have any further meetings for the day and he was on his own to work. Sue Ellen took in his appearance, the only thing that would make him look sexier would be a loosened tie, maybe a few buttons undone and dishevelled hair, though she was glad he didn't look too casual right now, that look was reserved for her as his wife and she'd only just arrived. She took note of how his expression changed as he read the pages depending on whether he agreed or disagreed with the words; how he twirled the pen in his hand and how he muttered little comments to himself. She was almost disappointed that they had to go out to dinner, because the 'JR Ewing, Vice President of Ewing Oil' look was very attractive and if she were any less of a lady, she would have shown him exactly how he affected her. She was a lady though, and she tried to be a good wife, following her husband's directions and not making too many decisions on her own; she would never make the first move, even if she wanted to.

JR read the final page of the documents and was satisfied with the changes he had made, he could consult with his father tomorrow, but for now, he was finished. Looking up, he noticed Sue Ellen staring at him, subconsciously running her finger around the rim of her glass, it was something she only really did when she was nervous or distracted, though from the look on her face he sensed that it wasn't a bad thing she was thinking about. He grinned as he realised he could use the situation to his advantage; it wasn't something they had ever done before, but she was his wife, they hadn't really been together in over a week, and they were all alone in his big office, he would have to be crazy to not take the opportunity when it presented itself. "All done", his words broke her thoughts and she tried not to blush as they made eye contact, she didn't want him to know where her mind had been, though she wondered whether he had ever had the same thoughts, he was a man after all. "Good", she smiled at him as she walked toward his desk and she was surprised when he pulled her down into his lap, she had assumed that he would stand and they would leave, but she liked this option more, she always enjoyed being close to JR. "So…how was your day?" Sue Ellen didn't know what to say, she didn't really want to talk, but she didn't want to be the one to kiss him first; JR was surprised at her question, he didn't understand how she had so much self-control, especially with the way she had been looking at him earlier. "Busy, but productive. How was yours?" he brushed a piece of hair out of her eyes as he spoke and Sue Ellen sighed, "my day was fine. I went shopping and had lunch with some of the DOA ladies", she didn't want to mention that she had specifically purchased a dress for their date, he would think she was crazy, it was only supposed to be a casual dinner, but she wanted to look nice for him. "Well, keep doing whatever you're doing, because you look stunning", he had admired her appearance the moment he saw her, and he wanted her to know that he appreciated her efforts, though he didn't want to appear too involved, it wouldn't be good for his reputation if it got out that he noticed all of the small details about her. "Thank you", Sue Ellen smiled as he complimented her and was pleased when he finally bridged the gap between them, kissing her with all of the emotion her felt, it had been far too long since they had been this close and now was the time to make up for all of their missed opportunities.

To be continued…


	135. Obligations

**Dallas, Texas**

"But you promised you'd take me dancing on Saturday night", Sue Ellen whined as JR packed his bag, she couldn't believe he was doing this again, he had promised to pay more attention to her, but they were only a few weeks into the new year and already it felt like Ewing Oil was taking over his life again. The worst part of the whole situation was the fact that JR didn't even seem to care about the effect it was having on their marriage; he either didn't understand just how much she needed him around, or he did understand and still chose to ignore it; either way, it hurt her. JR sighed, his wife's nagging was the last thing he needed right now, he was already overworked and stressed out, he didn't need her to around making him feel guilty about his obligations, "I know I said that, but this is business, I have to go, Ewing Oil is depending on me". Sue Ellen pouted, it wasn't fair that Jock and Bobby got to stay in Dallas, but JR had to go out of town on business, "Ewing Oil is depending on you? You specifically?" she was annoyed, she could almost count on one hand the amount of dates they'd had this year, his preoccupation with the oil business was getting worse, and she couldn't work out why. Their marriage had been a little distant toward the end of the previous year, but he had been so attentive during the holiday break, and when he recommitted to spending time with her, she really believed him; so far though, his actions this year had been anything but those of a completely loving and committed husband. "Yes me!" he growled at her, now angry that she was questioning his motives; it was honestly just a business trip, one that was totally necessary and would probably involve a lot of meetings in boardrooms, something he didn't mind, but he didn't particularly enjoy either. It wasn't a fun trip where his only goal was to spread a little goodwill and influence a few people to view Ewing Oil favourably; if he was lucky he may have time for a little fun, but that wasn't the purpose of his trip, and he didn't like being talked to as if he was deliberately ditching her. "The oil industry is volatile right now and I have to do whatever it takes to make sure that we are still successful despite the changes going on, so that means that if there are people in other cities and states that can help us, it's up to me to make sure that they do. I am the vice president, it's my job to be on top of these things; and if you know anything about me, then you know that there is absolutely no way I'm sending Bobby out there to negotiate something this important. Then there's daddy, everyone knows him and everyone respects him, but a lot of our contacts have always dealt with me, they know me, and they trust me. There may be three Ewings at Ewing Oil, but I'm the one with most of the power". He paused and walked closer to her, seeing the expression on her face as he had started speaking, she was shocked by his outburst and he realised that he had probably come off more aggressively than he'd intended to; he didn't want her to be upset, he just wanted her to understand where he was coming from. He calmed his voice as he spoke to her, "look, I'm not leaving to hurt you, and if I had any other choice, I would stay in Dallas, but I don't, so instead of getting upset and nagging me, I need you to support me and understand that it's my job and it's important". He didn't want to fight with her, he was already stressed and he didn't need her adding to that; it frustrated him that she was even questioning him though, that wasn't her place and it wasn't what he needed. He couldn't understand her, she usually spent all of her time trying to please him by being a good wife, and as much as he appreciated her efforts, most of the time he didn't really need her to try so hard. This was different though, this was one of the times that he really required her to just support him unconditionally and not question him, but instead of doing that, she decided to start an argument.

Sue Ellen watched his expression as he explained everything and she was annoyed with herself for pushing him to that point, he was clearly strained and she wasn't helping the situation; she didn't know what had gotten into her, she knew not to question her husband, especially not about his work commitments; she obviously wasn't thinking straight. "I'm sorry, I understand, Ewing Oil has to come first. You go and do whatever you need to do, and I'll be here waiting for you when you return. Is there anything you need me to do right now?" she swapped her irritated demeanour for a more submissive personality, knowing that that was what her husband needed right now and she had spoken out of line; the last thing she wanted was for him to leave town while he was angry with her. She trusted him, but she was still afraid that he would one day wake up and realise that he didn't really love her and he didn't want to be married to her anymore, and that was something that she was not prepared for; she had to stay on his good side, or the consequences would hurt her greatly. JR watched her as she changed back into the lady he had married, quiet and timid, willing to do anything for him; he didn't really need her to do anything, he was perfectly capable of packing his own suitcase, but he knew she would take it personally if he turned down her offer to help. "Mhm, I'll be gone for four or five days, so I'll need as many ties, maybe one extra. You go and pick your favourites, and I'll be sure to think of you each morning as I get ready", he humoured her by assigning her a small task, but she didn't appear to notice, she was just pleased that he didn't seem upset anymore and he still wanted her around. Sue Ellen watched as JR packed his things, she really did love him, and she could deal with a small amount of personal discomfort as long as he was happy. It wouldn't be forever, it was just until he got things under control again; she was sure that once the oil business evened out again, he would have more time for her and their marriage would go back to the way it was a few months ago, she could deal with everything as long as she held onto that hope.

To be continued…


	136. Eavesdropping

**Dallas, Texas**

"…daddy, it's about trust. You keep saying that JR has the knowledge and experience that Ewing Oil needs, and I understand that, but I'm a part of Ewing Oil too. How am I supposed to get to the same level of understanding if you never let me do anything?" Sue Ellen paused as she walked past the downstairs office after dinner, she knew that it wasn't polite to eavesdrop, but she couldn't help herself, it was something that interested her and affected her husband, she had to know what was going on to make sure that JR wasn't faced with any avoidable challenges. Jock sighed, Bobby had a point, but things weren't good for Ewing Oil right now, and he couldn't risk sending an inexperienced man like Bobby out on the road to negotiate things when he had JR available to him. He wanted Ewing Oil to truly be a family business, but he wasn't about to risk everything by putting the wrong man in charge of negotiations; Bobby was very good at the social side of business, making people feel welcome and special, but he didn't have the same understanding of the whole industry that JR had. While Bobby had had a life outside of Ewing Oil and had gained other skills, JR was always right there working for him and learning everything he could about the oil business. Even while he was in high school and college, JR had been there and done every job in the office, in the fields, and anywhere else that Ewing Oil required him to be. Jock had trained JR and taught him everything he knew and JR had taken that knowledge on board and even learned a few things on his own; he had established a hunger for big business and developed new strategies for getting what he wanted, and what was best for Ewing Oil. As much as he wanted to include Bobby in every aspect of the business, there were just some things that were best left to JR, because although he wasn't his favourite son, he couldn't deny that JR was truly the best man for the job right now. Pausing for a moment before he spoke, he carefully chose his words, he didn't want to make promises that he couldn't keep, but he also didn't want to disappoint Bobby, because he was a good man, and he had a point. "I hear what you're saying, and I'll consider it. But I don't want to make any hasty decisions, especially not before we hear what news JR comes back with. However, with that being said, I agree with you. So, how about later in the week, after JR returns, the three of us sit down and discuss the possibility of you taking on a little more responsibility?" Bobby smiled as his father spoke, he knew that the discussion would lead to more opportunities for him, his father had all but given him a better job with more power and influence, he was just being cautious before he officially committed to it.

Sue Ellen stood silently outside the door, shocked that Jock was so open to the idea that Bobby should have more say in what went on in Ewing Oil. JR had always said that his brother didn't have what it took to be totally successful, that he wasn't suited to real work, that he was only good at one thing in the oil business and it wasn't anything to do with oil itself. Sue Ellen had never worked with Bobby, and she liked him as a person, but she couldn't help but agree with her husband, JR knew what he was talking about, he knew what was best for Ewing Oil, and he wouldn't be happy when Jock called him for their meeting. "Thank you daddy; I'll let you get back to your reading now", Bobby smiled at his father, he had gotten what he wanted and he didn't feel the need to disturb his father's time alone any longer; walking toward the exit, he turned as his father called his name. "Bobby", Jock sat behind the desk as he thought about their conversation, "you do realise that you'll have to work more closely with JR if you want to learn everything about the business", he thought Ewing Oil as a family company was a wonderful idea, but the reality of his sons working together harmoniously wasn't an easy feat. The fact of the matter was that experience had shown that they seemed to work best separately, and he couldn't imagine that JR would be too pleased about his younger brother's increased presence in his working environment; he needed Bobby to be prepared for JR's backlash, because it definitely wouldn't be a smooth, effortless transition. Bobby sighed, he couldn't understand his older brother sometimes, he wasn't trying to steal anything that belonged to JR, he just wanted to experience the same things that he did, and in his mind, they could work alongside each other toward a common goal without one of them being better than the other. Unfortunately, JR didn't seem to see it the same way, and he would do everything in his power to make sure that he was never in a vulnerable position, even if that meant scheming against his family to ensure his own personal success. "Yes daddy, I understand. I want this, I want to be a productive member of Ewing Oil, and if that means I have to work with JR, then I'll do it", he wanted to present a positive front to his father, although inside, he was less sure about working alongside JR and possibly being under JR's management. He knew that JR wouldn't be very happy about it and when JR was upset about something, it didn't matter who the person was, he would try and destroy them. He had learned that the hard way when he had worked for Ewing Oil a few summers ago, and again just last year when he had first started working there full time; he was always assigned the small, out-of-the-way jobs and never anything important if JR had anything to do with the decisions. "Good, as long as you understand", Jock nodded and waved his son out of the room, he wanted to get his reading done before his wife came and asked him to play backgammon, she always did and he enjoyed that she did, but he also had other work to do, and Bobby's presence had interrupted his alone time.

Sue Ellen continued to listen outside the door until she heard what seemed to be the end of their conversation; not wanting Bobby to catch her in a compromising position, she quickly exited the hallway and made her way upstairs. She would relay everything to JR when he called her later, and hopefully he would thank her; it didn't matter to her that Bobby wasn't really a threat, she was on JR's side, and she would always ensure that she helped him wherever she could. He would definitely want to know about the changes at Ewing Oil before they sprung a meeting on him when he returned, and she was sure that he would come up with a brilliant plan, but she wanted to make sure that he had enough time to do it. Meanwhile in the living room, Lucy Ewing sat reading a magazine as she drank a cup of hot cocoa; she was engrossed in the pages until she heard the clicking of high heels and noticed Sue Ellen quickly making her way upstairs. Just as she was about to call out to her, she heard the office door open and watched as Bobby walked out into the hallway, just seconds after Sue Ellen had come from that very direction. She didn't know exactly what was going on, but she was fairly certain that it was something important; Sue Ellen didn't run up the stairs for no reason, she was trying to get away without being noticed, and Lucy couldn't wait to find out why.

To be continued…


	137. Changes

**Dallas, Texas**

"Miss Sue Ellen", Teresa walked into the dining room as the family ate breakfast, though Sue Ellen was really just picking at hers, too wrapped up in her thoughts to really enjoy the food on her plate. Her conversation last night with JR had confused her more than anything, and she didn't feel very reassured that he would still be on top when he returned to Dallas; he had said almost nothing when she told him of the conversation that she had overheard, it wasn't the reaction she had expected from him. Hearing Teresa call her name, she looked toward the door, surprised and even more confused now; Teresa was holding a very large bouquet of yellow roses and she immediately knew they were from JR, she just wasn't sure why; a happy mood was the last thing she expected him to be in right now. Standing and walking to take the flowers from Teresa, her actions were interrupted by Lucy's smart commentary, "secret admirer Sue Ellen?" Lucy grinned as she watched the surprised look on Sue Ellen's face; she loved to stir up a little bit of trouble occasionally, and her comments were harmless enough that no one really took it personally, it was just Lucy being Lucy. Sue Ellen was caught off guard by Lucy's comments and blushed as she noticed the whole family staring at her waiting for a reply to Lucy's question; "no, of course not Lucy; they're from JR. He always sent me yellow roses when we were dating", she was still surprised that JR had even sent her flowers and couldn't come up with a better explanation, though she was being truthful and she didn't really need a full explanation, her husband was just being kind. "Oh, that's nice. What does the card say?" now she was just being nosy, it surprised her that JR would send his wife flowers out of the blue, because she honestly never thought of her uncle JR as a very romantic man, that is, until he met Sue Ellen. His behaviour around her was so different when he first introduced her to the family, though he'd gone back to his usual self after a few months, at least it appeared so to her; she was suspicious of his motives, and still suspicious about what she had seen a few days earlier. In a highly unusual occurrence, she had seen Sue Ellen quickly run up the stairs, as if she were trying to make a hasty exit before she was caught. It wasn't normal for Sue Ellen to act that way, and it definitely didn't mean nothing, it meant something, she just wasn't sure what that something was yet; for all she knew, the answer she was looking for was written in the card. "Lucy!" Miss Ellie thought it best to cut short her granddaughters line of questioning before she said anything too rash, Sue Ellen was a fragile girl whose husband had been away for days and was simply making a nice gesture toward his wife. She herself had nothing to explain to anyone if she didn't want to, she hadn't done anything wrong and she didn't deserve to be interrogated. "Sorry grandma", Lucy apologised, though it was more for show than anything else, she was just being curious, she hadn't meant it offensively; Miss Ellie looked at her granddaughter and Lucy sighed, "I'm sorry Sue Ellen, it's none of my business, I wasn't thinking". Sue Ellen smiled, she didn't know it yet, but Lucy was a devious little girl, she meant everything that she did or said, but she always played the innocent; "thank you Lucy". For a moment, she thought about just reading her the card anyway, but she decided against it, she wasn't sure that JR would appreciate her telling the whole family that he was 'missing her', because as he often reminded her, he had a reputation to maintain.

Sue Ellen and Miss Ellie returned from their DOA meeting late in the afternoon, heading straight upstairs to get ready for dinner. Sue Ellen hurriedly undressed and walked into the bathroom to shower, not noticing the suitcase on the luggage rack in the corner of their bedroom. Meanwhile, JR parked his car in the driveway for the second time that day; he had arrived back in Dallas that morning, quickly dropping his things at Southfork before heading straight to the office. He would have liked to have seen Sue Ellen, but he couldn't blame her for being there to greet him on his arrival, he hadn't actually told her that he was coming home that morning. Arriving home from the office with a smile on his face, it appeared to anyone who greeted him that he was just happy because his out-of-town meetings had gone better than expected and he was looking forward to seeing his wife. Although those things were true, he also had another reason; thanks to his wife's spying, he was now one step ahead of his father and brother and he already had a plan for how to deal with their upcoming changes; he was confident that he was still the best Ewing at Ewing Oil and nothing would change that. He grinned to himself as he entered their bedroom, seeing that their bathroom door was open a crack and Sue Ellen was standing inside, wearing only a towel, completely oblivious to the fact that her husband was just a few yards away. Closing the door quietly, he walked toward the bathroom, "hello darlin'"; Sue Ellen jumped as the door swung open but her mood quickly changed from frightened to ecstatic. JR hadn't told her that he was coming back to Dallas today and if she had known, she would have been there to greet him, but she didn't care about that now, it had been much too long since they had been together and she was just happy to have him home. "JR!" she threw her arms around him, overjoyed that he was actually there and he seemed pleased to see her; despite desperately wishing he would return home, she hadn't known what to expect when he actually arrived back in Dallas. He had left in a mood and she had dropped a bombshell on him about Bobby and Jock's conversation, but he didn't seem to be bothered by any of that right now, and if he wasn't thinking about it, then she decided to drop those thoughts too, all she wanted was him.

"To the future success of Ewing Oil", Jock held up his glass and toasted, the rest of the family following; it was a proud day for him and he was pleased that it had been a smooth decision. He had been prepared for JR to argue and dispute the changes, but he had surprised him, maturely agreeing that any experience was good experience for Bobby and that he deserved to be more involved in the business operations. Sue Ellen observed each of the Ewing men, trying to work out exactly why they all seemed so pleased with the deal; she had been sure that there would have been some kind of disagreement, but from each of their facial expressions, it seemed like they were all happy. She had yet to get a real answer out of JR about his reaction to the whole thing, despite it being two days since he arrived back in Dallas. She made a mental note to approach the subject with him again later, she wanted to know why he was so agreeable; she knew he had a plan, JR Ewing always had a plan, unfortunately though, he hadn't shared it with her and she felt left out. "Mrs Ewing, dinner is ready", Teresa interrupted the celebrations and broke Sue Ellen's train of thought. JR escorted his wife into the dining room, enjoying that no one but he knew his exact plans, it was just the way he liked it. He realised though that Sue Ellen was probably curious and confused about what he had done with her information and why he didn't seem to be upset by the new arrangement. He made a mental note to thank her properly for helping him with the situation later, he wasn't going to tell her the details, but he could at least thank her for the valuable information she had supplied him with, she deserved that much at least.

To be continued…


	138. Devious

**Dallas, Texas**

"Feels good knowing that Ewing Oil is truly a family company now", Jock commented on the new state of affairs at Ewing Oil again, the third time that night, and what felt like the millionth time that week. Sue Ellen was confused, JR had told her that he had a plan, but so far, it didn't seem like it really existed, everything was just running a little too smoothly at Ewing Oil. She was concerned, she didn't want to believe that JR's power and influence was falling, but it certainly seemed that way; the man she had known when they were dating never would have allowed his brother to just move into an almost equal position in the company. After dinner, Jock, JR and Bobby gathered in the downstairs office to discuss business, it was a semi-frequent occurrence, although they worked all day, the oil business didn't just stop existing because they left the office. Sue Ellen made her way upstairs to entertain herself for a while before JR came back, she didn't feel like playing backgammon with Lucy or Miss Ellie, and she wanted to be available for JR when he finished his meeting. Picking up a book, she read for a while before getting bored, whatever the meeting was about must have been important, because JR had been downstairs for a lot longer than she had originally anticipated. Her mind wandered, thinking back to when they were first married, it was so different to how they were now, she was always so unsure now, his attention was split so many different ways and sometimes she felt like she was the last thing on his mind. She understood that he was a busy man, but she missed being the centre of attention; their one-year wedding anniversary was coming up in just a few weeks and JR hadn't once mentioned it, let alone suggesting doing something special to celebrate. She would like to go away on a vacation, but she set her expectations low; it just didn't really seem possible with everything that was going on right now at Ewing Oil, especially Bobby's involvement. Even though she hadn't seen any evidence that JR had a plan, she knew that he wasn't nearly trusting enough to leave town for more than two or three days unless for business purposes; she sensed that he was almost afraid of what would happen when he was gone.

"So it's settled, you'll both go", Jock was pleased with the decision as his sons continued to agree that it was best for Ewing Oil for them to work together, building Bobby's knowledge and experience so that they would one day be able to successfully run the company together. It was all part of the larger plan for the company and his legacy; it didn't matter that the oil business was in a bit of trouble right now, he wouldn't stall his company's plans just because they weren't at their best. In fact, now was the perfect time to be educating and training Bobby, because when business turned around, they would be bigger and stronger than ever. JR faked a smile as he shook Bobby's hand, repeating to himself that it was all part of the plan and he couldn't make a fuss just yet; right now he had to play the supportive, encouraging business partner, not the enemy; that way, his future suggestions for Bobby's job within the company would be taken seriously. At first, Jock had been slightly suspicious of JR's response to the decision, he had almost been too accepting, he had really expected more drama, but now, a few weeks after the decision, he continued to be pleasantly surprised by JR's behaviour. JR had taken on the role of mentor willingly, actually taking time to include and consult with Bobby before making a decision; the whole transition had really gone a lot smoother than he'd expected, especially on JR's end. Of course, JR still overreacted to Bobby's mistakes sometimes, but that was just who he was, JR was a natural and assumed that everyone else had the same common sense thought processes that he did, it just didn't occur to him that Bobby hadn't spent his whole life watching and learning and he had some catching up to do. His critical comments were fairly harmless in the grand scheme of things though and Jock really believed that a little bit of criticism was necessary for growth; he may not have criticised Bobby much growing up, but he had to agree that it was required sometimes where Ewing Oil was concerned. Bobby wasn't as natural as JR was, and it showed in his quick decisions, but that didn't mean that he didn't have potential; Jock was sure that JR realised that now, and that he was really trying his best to do what was best for Ewing Oil.

"Sorry that took so long darlin'", he walked upstairs and entered their bedroom, finding his wife sitting in one of the armchairs as she read a magazine; he smiled at the thought that she was always where he expected her to be, and she was always waiting and willing to do whatever he asked her. Sue Ellen looked up as her husband entered the room, he was grinning and she immediately knew that there was more to his expression than just the fact that he was pleased to see her, no, he had that look in his eye, she couldn't describe how she knew, but she knew, he was up to no good. Secretly, she loved his evil side, there was something so raw and sexy about him showing just how in control he really was; of course, she would never want that side of him working against her, but she loved watching him scheme and plot to take someone else down, it added a bit of extra excitement to their marriage. If she was honest with herself, sometimes she enjoyed their intimate activities more when he was angry or malevolent than when he was sweet and romantic; she actually liked when he wasn't so slow and gentle and his actions weren't so calculated and cautious. It wasn't that she didn't love that he wanted to treat her like a lady and respect her, but sometimes variety was nice, he didn't always have to treat her so delicately, she wouldn't be offended if he occasionally just acted on his deepest desires rather than repressing them in order to maintain her ladylike purity. Of course, she never verbally explained that to him, he was always so quiet and looked disappointed in himself after those occasions, and despite her reassurance that he hadn't hurt her, he still seemed to blame himself, as if he had almost ruined her with his actions. So, instead of furthering the discussion, she just kept quiet, she feared that if she approached the subject herself, he would take it as a criticism, that she was dissatisfied with how he normally treated her, and she didn't want him to think that at all, because it wasn't true. Secretly though, she hoped that whatever he had just done downstairs was enough to put him in the mood to just act without thinking, she wasn't in the mood for slow and gentle right now, "I take it your meeting went well?" JR grinned, everything was falling into place nicely; despite it not looking like it, he was in full control of everything, just the way he liked it. "It did. I'll be introducing Bobby to some of our Odessa connections tomorrow. Oh, that reminds me, I may be home late tomorrow, I'm not sure how long our meetings will run, those men will talk your ear off if you give them the opportunity", Sue Ellen raised an eyebrow, that didn't exactly sound like it was good for JR, "Bobby's going with you? You're happy about that?" now she was even more confused, she thought that Bobby was supposed to be the enemy in the whole situation, but JR wasn't acting like it. JR's grin widened as he watched her mind work, trying to figure out why he wasn't upset; "mhm, I said 'introduce', not 'sign a deal with'. It's all part of the plan darlin'"; once again, Sue Ellen gave him a confused look, surely introducing Bobby to everyone was the next step in making him a legitimate partner in Ewing Oil, the opposite of what JR wanted. JR laughed, he was glad that she hadn't been able to work out his plan from his description, although it wasn't really that indicative, because she didn't really know anything about business; he decided to give her a little information, just enough to answer her question, but not enough to give away his plan. "I won't bore you with all the details, but let's just say, Bobby will be so busy keeping our out-of-town connections happy that he won't have time to get anywhere near actually making a business deal", he grinned and watched as Sue Ellen realised what he was doing. "JR Ewing, you are the most fascinating man I have ever met, and I love you", she smiled up at him, she was happy that he had finally let her in on what he was up to and awed by the way his mind worked, he was a master manipulator and she honestly didn't know how he did it. "Thank you sugar", he looked into her eyes and was surprised by the way she was looking at him, there was love, but there was also something else, he wasn't sure whether he was misreading her though. Deciding that only a fool would let the opportunity pass by without investigating for himself, he kissed her, lightly at first, but then more passionately, his desire for her quickly taking over, though he waited to see how she would respond before making any further moves. Sue Ellen almost sighed in relief as his lips met hers and as he deepened the kiss, it was the only thing she had really wanted since he walked into the room, and even if it didn't go exactly where she wanted it to, she was just happy that the barrier was broken and they were in that position now.

To be continued…


	139. Sue Ellen's Little Sister

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen sat in the packed auditorium as she waited for the pageant to start; it had been a long time since she had ventured into the pageant world, she had carefully avoided almost all of Kristin's events after her own Miss America loss. Losing the Miss America pageant was a painful memory that she didn't care to remember, even though it technically didn't matter anymore because she had already attained the number one goal in her life, the primary reason she had even done pageants in the first place. Things were different for her now and her pageant days were ancient history, she was a married woman, she didn't have to base her whole identity around a 'Miss' title, she already had a better one, 'Mrs'. This wasn't Kristin's first pageant and if her sister was anything, she was confident, but Sue Ellen was still nervous and apprehensive about the whole thing, she knew how tough the competition could be, and how horrible their mother would make her feel if she didn't win the crown tonight, she hoped that Kristin did win, for her own sake. The lights dimmed and the host appeared on stage, introducing the pageant and the order of events for the night; next, the contestants walked out in a line for the introductory parade, unnaturally wide smiles and false cheerful personalities abound. As the pageant began, Sue Ellen couldn't help but smile at the realisation that she wasn't a contestant anymore and she never had to worry about impressing a large group of strangers in that way ever again, it was liberating and something she hadn't really considered before now. Patricia Shepard sat in the audience and watched the young girls as they paraded across the stage in an orderly line, each pausing for a few seconds when they reached the end of the stage so that the audience to get a closer look at each of them. Some people believed that beauty pageants were shallow and demeaning, especially for girls as young as Kristin, but Patricia thought differently; finding a wealthy husband was a lot easier when a girl was beautiful, talented, poised and well versed in social etiquette, all of which pageant training and participation taught. Sue Ellen may not have won Miss America, but that didn't matter, she had been Miss Texas, and had caught the eye of JR Ewing, a wealthy oilman; the pageant had served its purpose and had benefitted Sue Ellen well. She was a married woman, the wife of a very wealthy and important man, and any day now she would permanently cement her position in the Ewing family, she would be the mother of the next Ewing heir. Things were working out perfectly for Sue Ellen, they were exactly the way Patricia had always imagined her daughter's life, and she intended for Kristin to follow in her older sister's footsteps. "Some competition", Patricia commented under her breath, in her opinion, the other girls were no match for Kristin's beauty, grace and talent; she would easily win as long as she showed the judges her best self. Sue Ellen almost rolled her eyes at her mother's comment, she was rather presumptuous and judgemental for a woman who had never actually competed in a beauty pageant before; she had no idea what it was like to be up on stage, it wasn't as easy as she imagined it to be. Although Sue Ellen slightly agreed with her mother, the other girls were good, but Kristin was better, she was still nervous, because despite their own strong opinions, they weren't actually the ones judging the competition, and they had no control over the final result.

**Dallas, Texas**

"Hey Bob, come in here a minute, there's something I'd like to discuss with you", JR decided that it was time to start putting the next phase of his plan into action, starting with a favour from his brother, of course, it would be disguised as a compliment. Bobby had been a little suspicious of JR's motives when he had agreed to mentor him and really try to include him in his decisions, but he was slowly coming around to thinking that perhaps JR had really changed and wasn't as paranoid as he had been in the past. JR often acted as if he were jealous, even when he had no reason to be, and Bobby had really expected his brother to fight a little more for his position when Jock had told him that they would be working together. Bobby knew that he didn't have half the knowledge or experience that JR had and he wasn't really a real threat to him, but it didn't usually stop JR from treating him as one; this time seemed different though, JR seemed to actually be ok with his involvement and was acting more accepting than he ever had before. In the back of his mind, Bobby knew to always be a little suspicious of his brother, but right now, it didn't seem necessary, JR wasn't acting as if he was threatened by him at all, and it pleased him to be able to relax at Ewing Oil knowing that his brother wasn't plotting his downfall. "JR", Bobby entered JR's office and sat down, "buy you a drink?" JR made two drinks and handed one to his brother, carefully planning how he would approach the subject. "Now Bob, I need you to answer me honestly here ok? How confident do you feel about our work?" he didn't really need Bobby to be that good at talking business, all he needed to be good at was socialising, and he was, but he didn't need to know that JR felt that way. It was something JR had originally been annoyed about just a few months ago; it seemed as if Bobby had only had to do the fun parts of the job and none of the hard work. What JR hadn't considered at the time was that with Bobby focused on the social side of business, he didn't really have time to actually learn and interfere in the real deals, leaving JR to work independently, the way he liked it. He had been too hasty in getting annoyed at Bobby's position, it was actually better for him if his brother wasn't an equal, and he wanted to sneakily ensure that he went back to that position, he just had to make sure that his intentions weren't too obvious. Bobby smiled at JR's question, he had actually learned a lot since he had started working with JR, and he was ready to take it further and start working on his own, "confident enough to trust and want to test my ability. What did you want to discuss?" JR grinned; everything was falling into place nicely.

**Austin, Texas**

"Congratulations Kristin, I knew you could do it", Sue Ellen hugged her sister; "yes, congratulations dear", Patricia gave her daughter a brief hug, not lingering for too long though. "Can you believe it? Both of my daughters are pageant queens. Of course, you still have a long way to go before you're Miss Texas, but even Sue Ellen had to start small before she gained that level of success", Patricia beamed with pride, she hoped that the future held many more experiences like this, she enjoyed having two successful daughters, some women she knew didn't even have one. Kristin's smile dropped as her mother mentioned Sue Ellen again, it was bad enough living with her and hearing all about Sue Ellen's wonderful achievements, but today was supposed to be about her, and even now, after she had just won a title for herself, it was still about Sue Ellen. Sue Ellen was shocked, it was her sister's special day but for some reason her mother was focusing on her win that was years ago now instead of Kristin's current success; she really did feel bad for her sister, she saw first-hand with JR and Jock what it was like for a parent to favour one child over another. "Excuse me ma'am, did you just say Miss Texas?" a reporter from the local newspaper covering the event was hovering around as he waited for Kristin to finish speaking to her family, he was obliged to get a few quotes from the winner, but the story would be even better if he could link her to Miss Texas. Patricia looked at the man and saw only one thing, an opportunity for publicity, "yes, my eldest daughter, Sue Ellen", she motioned toward Sue Ellen, "she was Miss Texas 1967, but she started off at pageants just like this one. We're so proud of Kristin for following her wonderful example". Kristin was mortified, she hated that all anyone ever saw her as was Sue Ellen's little sister, she could never just do anything because she was her own person, it was frustrating and upsetting, and right now, she wanted to be anywhere but there. Sue Ellen cringed, she couldn't believe the way her mother acted sometimes, she really didn't care about her children's feelings at all, "yes, that's true, I was Miss Texas. But that was a long time ago and I haven't been in a pageant for years, it's Kristin's time to shine now, and we are very proud of her", she smiled and tried to hint to the reporter that he should start asking her sister questions, it was only fair. The reporter seemed to take the hint that the former Miss Texas didn't want to speak about her past, so instead of dwelling on it, he focused his attention on the younger girl; it was the less exciting story of the night, but it was the one he was actually being paid to write. The newspaper office had archives; he could find any supplementary information about the beautiful former Miss Texas there, she was a lot more interesting than her sister seemed to be. From the interview he was getting from the young girl, he was grateful that he had a backup plan; the young winner was anything but charming right now, her passive aggressiveness was almost bordering on being actually aggressive. Arriving home, Kristin went straight to her room, eventually crying herself to sleep; she hated her family sometimes, even if they didn't mean to, they had a way of ruining anything that belonged to her, it just wasn't fair.

To be continued…


	140. Tip-off

**Dallas, Texas**

JR sat in his office and finished reading over the paperwork his father wanted him to be familiar with before their meeting later in the day; it was a group meeting, but he didn't mind, it wasn't really anything too important and Bobby's presence didn't present any real complications. In fact, he was rather pleased with the way the business was running at the moment; everything was finally falling into place and soon enough, Bobby would be out of the office, doing whatever he could to benefit Ewing Oil, just not within the Dallas–Fort Worth metroplex. If all went to plan, it would leave JR free to operate independently again, and that's all he wanted, things to go back to the way they used to be. The way he had arranged things was really what was best for everyone; Bobby actually was very good at the jobs JR gave him, he was personable and friendly, and he was quickly learning how to take advantage of the three B's. He would be an asset for Ewing Oil in his new role and JR was confident that he would actually enjoy it more than sitting in the office; he just had to find the right time to push his brother into his new job and most importantly, he had to be delicate about it. He couldn't risk his father finding out about his actions and overreacting to the way he had plotted, it was a positive thing for Ewing Oil, but Jock wouldn't see it that way if he found out about it before JR was ready for him to know.

"JR?", Bobby knocked on his door and entered his office; "yeah, Bob?" JR looked up at his brother and wondered exactly why he was there, they were supposed to be doing separate things this afternoon and he was too busy to just sit and chat. "I was just looking at the schedule for next week and noticed what I assume is a mistake on Monday. I just wanted to clarify it with you before I changed it"; JR was confused, "scheduling? Did you ask my secretary? She organizes all of my meetings", he didn't have a clue what Bobby was talking about and he didn't have time to sit around waiting for Bobby to try and find the words to explain, he was much too busy to be bothered with simple administration work. "I did, and she told me that as far as she knew, everything was correct"; JR gave Bobby a puzzled look, he couldn't understand what the problem was, it didn't appear to him that there actually was a problem. Bobby noticed the look on his brother's face and realised that he really had no idea what Monday was, "maybe it would be easier if I specified the problem". If he were a stranger, he would have been offended by the way JR was looking at him, as if he were speaking too slowly and pointlessly and had no business wasting his time with this senseless conversation. "Monday is the 15th; Monday is also the meeting with Carleton Fuller from Fuller Machinery…" he didn't want to embarrass JR by directly asking him, but it was obvious that he had forgotten the significance of Monday's date. "Yes Bob, on Monday I am planning to attend that meeting. Is that what you wanted to know? If it is, I don't understand the problem, and if it isn't, then please enlighten me, because you're taking up my time by prolonging this conversation", he was annoyed now, Bobby wasn't making sense and was wasting his time; he had better things than this that he could have been doing with his time.

Bobby would have laughed if he weren't so disgusted, he couldn't believe that JR had forgotten and even with the date to remind him, he still didn't remember; his brother didn't know how lucky he was to have a wife like Sue Ellen, and a brother like him to remind him of his husbandly obligations. Bobby knew just from observing the interactions between JR and Sue Ellen that Sue Ellen was a lady who tried very hard to hide her true feelings about things, she was almost too polite and too supportive sometimes, to the point where she had no personality of her own. If his observations were correct, Sue Ellen was a people pleaser, and she wouldn't dare say anything to JR about his inattentive behaviour, even in a situation where she was completely justified. She was always projecting a happy image, even when Bobby sensed that she wasn't actually feeing very happy; it was easier and more acceptable for her to pretend everything was fine than confront the issue head-on. "It's your wedding anniversary JR, and I can almost guarantee that your wife will be heartbroken if you choose business over her on a special day like that", he calmed his speech, "look, I know you've been busy and I know Sue Ellen understands that too. I think she deserves to know that Ewing Oil isn't your entire life though, at least not on your anniversary".

JR's expression changed as Bobby spoke; he had genuinely forgotten, and he was annoyed that Bobby had had to remind him of something he should have remembered himself. He didn't ever mean to hurt Sue Ellen with his actions, sometimes it just happened and it was out of his control; he got so busy with everything else in his life that his marriage came last in his list of priorities. He had actually intended to organize something months ago, in true JR Ewing style, but it had slipped his mind as business picked up, and now they were just days away from their anniversary and he had nothing planned. "Damn", he spoke more to himself than to Bobby, he wasn't sure what to do now, and he was still annoyed that he had needed Bobby to remind him of his duties as a husband, it wasn't really right. "Hm, thanks Bob. Do you want me to reschedule that meeting, or do you want to go?" in all honesty, he knew should have allocated that meeting to Bobby in the first place, it wasn't anything he couldn't handle, even JR had to admit that. "No, I'll take it. You just focus on your wife", he smiled and took his cue to leave the room, he didn't really have anything else to discuss. Pausing as he reached the door, he turned, "hey, don't feel too bad about not remembering; we're all busy with work and it's only natural to forget things sometimes. I only remembered because it's my birthday next week, and as I recall, last year you weren't there to celebrate with us because you were on your honeymoon". JR smiled, sometimes he actually enjoyed having a brother, he did give good pep talks, it was probably from all of his years playing football and being a team player, something that didn't come as naturally to JR. As Bobby left his office, JR jumped into action, picking up the phone and giving instructions to his secretary to mark down his wedding anniversary as an important date to remember in future, and making plans to have flowers delivered to Sue Ellen. Next, he made another phone call, it was too close to the date to do anything more elaborate, but a nice weekend away with his wife sounded perfect. He could always pretend that it was a surprise getaway, and it would look like a nice, well-thought-out, romantic gesture on his part, instead of what it really was. Sue Ellen would love it, she always made a point to emphasise how much she enjoyed their time alone together, and his plan was to give her everything she wanted, three days of his time and attention.

To be continued…


	141. Weekend Getaway

**Denison, Texas**

Sue Ellen gently awoke on Saturday morning, the early morning sunlight softly illuminating the room, unfortunately also shining directly onto her side of the bed. It took her a moment to realise where she was and why she was there, but as the initial confusion wore off, she smiled to herself, pleased with the way things had changed in the past 48 hours. She had been so sure that JR hadn't planned anything for their anniversary, he hadn't mentioned keeping her calendar clear for the weekend, or even booking dinner for them on Monday to celebrate, in fact, he hadn't even mentioned their anniversary at all, not even in casual conversation. She had almost come to believe that he had forgotten all about it; that is, until several large bouquets of yellow roses, and a small invitation note arrived for her on Thursday afternoon, right in the middle of a DOA meeting. She wasn't sure whether the timing of JR's gesture was coincidental or intentional, but it fuelled the women's gossip nonetheless, something she didn't realise she disliked so much until it was all about her. She was sure she heard Marilee whisper something about infidelity and JR trying to make amends, but she attributed the comments to Marilee just being a nasty, spiteful woman rather than anyone who actually spoke the truth. She trusted JR and she was sure that he had only been distant lately because of his work, not for any other reason. The flowers were just the beginning of the change, JR had come home from work on time and in a good mood, and for the first time in weeks, he had taken her out to dinner, just the two of them, not for any reason other than because he wanted to spend time with her. She was always so confused by the way JR acted, he had highs and lows and his moods and behaviour were largely unpredictable; he didn't make it easy for her to be his wife, she never knew how he was going to be when he returned home from work, or what he needed her to do for him. There were times when he paid almost no attention to her, or only vaguely trusted her enough to divulge his thoughts and problems; in contrast, there were other times when he acted exactly like the JR she had met at the Miss Texas pageant, the gentleman who romantically pursued her and made it known that he wanted her. Married life was a lot more difficult than she had expected it to be, mostly due to the unpredictability, but that didn't change her opinion on her husband at all; when she said her marriage vows at their wedding, she meant them, and she intended to keep trying to be the best wife that she could.

After a few futile efforts at keeping the sun out of her eyes, she gave up on trying to go back to sleep. Looking at the clock, she realised that it was almost seven and JR would be awake any minute now; seizing the opportunity, she decided to get up and make breakfast for the two of them, planning to have it ready and waiting for JR when he woke up. Quietly slipping out of bed, she tied her robe and made her way downstairs to the kitchen; she hoped that she still remembered how to cook properly, because living at Southfork, she hadn't once had to cook a meal. Even when she visited Austin, she didn't really have to do much; her mother was in the process of domestically training Kristin and she insisted that she practice her hospitality skills when Sue Ellen was there. Entering the kitchen, she stopped for a moment to admire the view of the lake from the large window; she was almost sad that they hadn't been here before now, because it really was the perfect place for a romantic weekend getaway. The large, white house was built on the lakefront of Lake Texoma, almost in the same architectural style as Southfork, it was even decorated similarly to Southfork outside, with white deckchairs and yellow umbrellas by the pool, and similar yellow and white striped awnings overhanging the windows. It had a completely different feeling to Southfork though, especially the interior, it was much calmer and airier than Southfork was. Where Southfork had dark wood interiors, the lake house was full of bright whites and light neutrals, it was automatically visually calming and a nice change from their everyday life; it gave Sue Ellen a real feeling of a mini-vacation, as if they really were somewhere completely different, not just outside of Dallas. Even though Southfork was a large ranch and had no neighbours, there was always something happening there; the house was always full of people, and the land was a working ranch. Of course, there was peace and quiet if one went looking for it, but at the lake house it was the opposite, stillness and quietness was the default and one had to drive into town to feel the hustle and bustle of everyday life; it wasn't any better or worse, it was just different. Sue Ellen acknowledged that her perception was probably biased; JR had told her that they would occasionally take family trips to the lake when he was younger, so if that was the case, then the house still would have been full of people, and the peace probably would have been disturbed. She would have probably have had a different impression of it then. It wasn't that she disliked living at Southfork, but sometimes she wondered whether their marriage would have been easier if they didn't live with the whole Ewing family; whether they would have had stronger communication if he just came home to his wife rather than the entire family. When there was trouble at Ewing Oil, it affected the mood at Southfork, and it made it difficult for Sue Ellen to get through to JR sometimes, especially when she had to sit through hours of tense conversation with no clue as to why things were so icy. JR tended to repress his real emotions when the family was around, bottling everything up and letting it stew until it grew so bad that he exploded; it made it a lot more difficult for Sue Ellen to be supportive and helpful when he was so wound up that he could barely have a rational conversation. Sometimes she wished that they lived alone so that he could have the luxury of coming home to a calm, quiet space, an environment where he could openly vent about his day without risking someone overhearing him and taking further offence. She really wanted to be a good wife, a good listener and communicator, but it wasn't easy. That's why she was enjoying the tranquillity of the lake house so much, it was a beautiful place, so idyllic and quiet, and it was just the two of them, there was no one else around to interfere in their business. She couldn't believe that it was only an 80-minute drive from Southfork, it was a world away from their life in Dallas.

JR awoke to the smell of coffee and food, and the sound of a tray being placed on the nightstand; he smiled as he opened his eyes and noticed that his wife was doing that thing again, the thing where she just sat there and watched him sleep, as if it were a fascinating activity. "Good morning", she leaned down and lightly kissed his lips as he opened his eyes and smiled at her; "morning darlin'", he sat up and looked over at the nightstand, surprised at just how much food she had made, though he knew shouldn't have been, all things considered. He had called ahead and had the pantry stocked, and her mother had trained her well, she knew how to cook, clean, iron, sew, and look after a man, she just hardly ever got the opportunity to use her domestic skills. "Mm, that was wonderful darlin'", JR set aside the tray as he finished his breakfast, "but I do have one little request", he grinned and paused while she looked at him, her eyes full of concern, as if she had done something wrong and all she wanted was the opportunity to correct her mistake, "tomorrow you let me watch". Sue Ellen was almost relieved when he gave a light-hearted request instead of a serious one, she would have been devastated if he had criticised her food after she put so much effort into it, though that didn't matter now, she was worrying for no reason again. "Absolutely", she smiled at him and giggled when he pulled her toward him, kissing her and untying her robe, making his intentions clear. She really did love the lake house already, if only for the fact that they were alone and were free to do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted; she hoped that JR chose to take advantage of that, because she had certainly missed his attention lately.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: The house they are at is the one shown in the episode **_**Post Nuptial**_**. The exact location of the house was never mentioned, but it appeared that they were on a lake somewhere, and from the pictures of lakes near Dallas, Lake Texoma seemed to be the most likely location. **


	142. Lakeside Thoughts

**Denison, Texas**

"This is beautiful", Sue Ellen admired the view as they walked along the lakeshore, her arm linked through his; she couldn't believe that they were actually here, away from Dallas and actually doing something romantic and enjoyable. "I'm glad you like it, that's why I chose the location", JR smiled and kept walking, content to not talk unless she wanted to, he was actually just enjoying the peace and quiet; it was a lot different to his regular life. Sue Ellen smiled at his words, it sounded like he had really thought about her when he made the decision, though his statement was really only half-true; JR had mostly chosen the lake house because it was close and available, and he had arranged it very last minute, though he couldn't deny that her happiness was important to him too. Sue Ellen leaned in closer to her husband, enjoying the moment, hoping that their happiness lasted and this was a sign of things to come. She felt bad for thinking it, but before this weekend, it felt like it had been months since they'd actually spent quality time together, though she knew that wasn't entirely true; they still went out to dinner and still spent weekends and evenings together, it was just that his mind was elsewhere a lot of the time. JR was a busy man, an important man, he had people depending on him for their livelihoods and he had a company that was dependent on a lot more than him just showing up each day. In addition to his regular office work, he also had the task of finding ways around uncontrollable setbacks and that wasn't an easy job at all, especially not now, not with the way the industry was. His life was consumed by a lot more than just his wife and Sue Ellen acknowledged and accepted that, but that didn't mean that she enjoyed it; she would do whatever it took to be a good wife, but she also wished that it was easier sometimes, more fun and less serious. JR knew that he probably didn't pay as much attention to her as he should, but he didn't see any way of changing it, or any particular reason to. He was who he was and he had responsibilities because of his life circumstances, she had known that when they were dating, and she had still wanted to marry him; he couldn't be expected to change his priorities just because they were married now. Of course he enjoyed being with his wife, but he also enjoyed doing other things and socialising with other people too, and he didn't need her in the same way that she needed him. Where Sue Ellen had the luxury of no real commitments and freedom to do whatever she wanted to with her time, he did not; because of that, JR had to stretch his free time across many different categories, and he deserved to be able to use his time however he wanted. If he wanted to go hunting with Bobby and Jock, then he was allowed to do that, he didn't have to ask her first, he was the decision maker in their relationship, and she always followed his directions. Because of the way their lives differed, she felt the distance between them more than he did; she got lonely when he wasn't around, because he was her whole life and everything she did was to please him. However, JR's priorities were split between work, personal and family life; he had less time, and more commitments than she did, and that didn't necessarily mean good things for their marriage. For now though, they were content and happy, and neither intended on doing anything to ruin the mood.

Their walk took them along the lakefront and into a wooded park area, allowing them to walk up a small cliff to a lookout. Sue Ellen shivered as the wind picked up and reminded her that they were still very much in winter; she had worn a light jacket, but being on a lake and in an exposed elevated area, the temperature was more suited for a heavier coat. JR noticed his wife shivering and quickly looked around to check that they were alone before standing behind her and wrapping his arms around her. Although he knew it was the right thing to do, he was still self-conscious about public displays of affection, as if somehow just touching his wife would make him less of a man, even if it was exactly what they both wanted. "I love you", Sue Ellen relaxed into his arms and they stood admiring the view, until they heard the sound of people nearing; at that point, JR awkwardly dropped his arms and mumbled something about heading back to the house. Sue Ellen wasn't sure whether to laugh or be offended at his actions; it was painfully obvious how uncomfortable JR was with being seen as any way emotional or affectionate, and she was very used to that by now, but she was also his wife, and he should have been proud to be with her, whatever the circumstance. Sue Ellen brushed it off as they turned around and walked back down to the lakefront, toward the house; she wasn't going to ruin their day by starting an argument, especially not a non-productive argument, JR was set in his ways and it was unlikely that anyone would get him to change, it was just who he was.

Returning to the house, JR built a fire while Sue Ellen made him a drink, he seemed like he needed one for some reason. JR wasn't sure what was wrong with him today, he felt quieter than usual and he was very much content to just be with Sue Ellen, they didn't have to be talking, they just had to be close to each other. He didn't know how to feel about his new mindset, he didn't usually dwell too much on his emotions, but it seemed that the more quiet he became, the louder his thoughts were. He did love Sue Ellen, and he did want to be a good husband, but he also wanted to have everything else, and it seemed like he could never figure out exactly how to have both. He loved that Sue Ellen was unconditionally supportive of him, especially in business, it was exactly what he needed from her, but he also sensed that in acting that way, she was hiding her true feelings about things, that she said things she didn't mean just because they were what he wanted or needed to hear. He didn't often think about other people's feelings, but he did care about Sue Ellen, and he didn't want her to make herself miserable in pursuit of his happiness. He was the vice president of Ewing Oil, and with that came a great deal of responsibility, things that he couldn't and wouldn't ignore, things that took up a lot of time and attention and were often unsatisfying for long periods of time before they were successful. He couldn't afford to slack at work, so he put all of his time and energy into making Ewing Oil a success, but in doing that, he unintentionally pushed Sue Ellen away; at times almost ignoring their relationship and only using her as a sounding board and stress release. It wasn't good for either of them for him to act that way, but he didn't know how to change it; he needed her to be there and do those things for him, but he didn't want her to be miserable doing it. He wanted her to be happy and to be the one to make her happy, but it was a lot more difficult than he ever could have imagined. "JR?" Sue Ellen handed him his drink and sat down on the couch next to him; JR pushed the conflicting thoughts out of his mind, there wasn't a lot he could do about the excessive demands in his life, and right now he didn't have to focus on any of those demands. They were alone, just the two of them, away from Dallas, Southfork and Ewing Oil, if he really wanted to improve their marriage, then now was the perfect time to start.

To be continued…


	143. Lake Texoma

**Denison, Texas**

Sue Ellen giggled to herself as she caught her reflection in the mirror as she walked upstairs, her face was flushed and her hair was a mess, but she felt wonderful. She didn't know how or why, but JR was in a great mood this morning, and when JR was in a good mood, everything was instantly better for their relationship. Things really were unpredictable with JR; just yesterday he had gone from happy and attentive in the morning to moody and distant during the day, and then changed again when they had returned to the house, showing her the sweet, romantic side of him again. It was all very confusing and she really had no idea about the way his mind worked sometimes; he had so many different sides and it was difficult to predict which one would show itself at any given time. This morning had been particularly wonderful, they'd done something that they hadn't done since their honeymoon, something that just wasn't possible at Southfork with everyone else living there; they'd actually had impromptu relations outside of the bedroom, in the dining room of all places; it was new and exciting, and it gave her a hunger for more. She enjoyed any time she had with her husband, but the sameness of their everyday life could get repetitive; it was always nice to do something a little different, and it amazed her that JR actually seemed to agree today. She often got the sense that he didn't like to stray too far from their set norm and he almost felt guilty if he did, as if he had treated her badly by being anything other than a complete gentleman; what he didn't seem to understand was that she didn't care about gentle, at least not all the time. It was a bit of a strange thought for her to process at first, she had assumed that a man with his reputation would be up for anything, but with her it was always sweet and loving, except for the rare times when he was so emotionally wound up that he just let loose. Again, it was an all or nothing thing, there was always a reason behind his actions, and if he was rough, it was because he was angry or upset, not just because he was just open to trying new things with her. It was actually quite frustrating, she wasn't opposed to mixing it up occasionally, though she would never actually suggest it to him, because of his obvious mental hang-ups and set ideas about husbands and wives should act. She followed wherever he led them and she had hoped that he would see that she wasn't upset by his actions, but he didn't, and things never really changed between them in that sense. That's why this morning was so surprisingly wonderful, there was no anger behind his actions, just love and desire, and it made everything just a little bit better; it was fun to do things that they never got the opportunity to do back home. She had just been preparing breakfast, something JR insisted he enjoyed watching her do, but for what reason she had no idea, though she supposed it was comparable to how she liked watching him work, it was so masculine and appealing, and her acting like a real housewife was feminine and had a similar effect. Or so she assumed, she really had no idea, they never discussed things of that nature, things that appealed to the other; the only thing she really knew how to do was to follow his lead and go wherever he wanted, very rarely was she the one in control, it just wasn't how things were in their relationship. She didn't dare just start doing something new without him being the one to initiate it; their trip to Corpus Christi was still burned in her mind and she wasn't sure she could take that kind of rejection again. She honestly still wasn't sure whether he was mad at her back then because she was acting unladylike for an engaged woman, or unladylike in general, but she wasn't going to try again to find out, she couldn't handle those emotions again. That's how their marriage was, she followed his forged path, whatever direction he took them in, and this morning he had taken them to a completely new place, somewhere the she liked and hoped he opened his mind to exploring more of.

Being that it was Valentine's Day and that JR hadn't planned their mini-vacation until just a few days ago, it was a lot more difficult to get tickets on a boat tour than he had expected, and they'd ended up booking onto one with other people, unfortunate, but not the end of the world. JR was in a good mood from their excellent start to the day, he was a lot more pleasant and accepting than he usually was and he hadn't even complained about the fact that their boat was already ten minutes late or that there were three small children running around the marina making noise. Sue Ellen was surprised but didn't say anything to him, she knew his good mood wouldn't last forever and that he'd be back to his impossibly picky self in no time, so instead of asking him, she just enjoyed the way he was right now. Their boat approached and the passengers from the previous tour departed as the group they were part of lined up to board; Sue Ellen held onto JR's hand as they walked to the bow of the boat, they wanted to get the best unobscured view and they moved quickly to ensure that they did. The tour took them around Lake Texoma, the captain pointing out areas of interest to the passengers via loudspeaker; Sue Ellen listened intently and laughed at herself when she got irrationally excited about crossing the state line into Oklahoma, it wasn't that there was anything particularly exciting about Oklahoma, she'd just never been there before and it was interesting information. JR mostly enjoyed seeing Sue Ellen enjoying the trip, he wasn't exactly a stranger to the area and he'd seen everything that the captain was pointing out. He found himself rolling his eyes as the passengers oohed and aahed over the large houses that dotted the lakefront; he happened to own one of those houses, not that that helped him much right now though, all it really did was remind him that he was a millionaire who was unable to secure a private boat tour. After having lunch aboard the ship and taking in the sights, the two-hour cruise came to a close as they returned to the marina and disembarked. They decided to head into town to get coffee and explore for a while before they went to go back to the house, it was still early and there wasn't really a whole lot to do at the lake house itself. It was still just a little too cold to go in the pool and they had gone for a long walk yesterday, and apart from the other obvious activity, there wasn't any great rush to get back. They were together now, and they had both been missing just feeling like they were dating and having fun as a couple; their afternoon would certainly take them to the bedroom, or any other room of the house, but they didn't have to rush it, neither of them was going anywhere urgently.

To be continued…


	144. Cornered

**Denison, Texas**

Sue Ellen walked around a small shop located inside the town information centre, unaware of the two college-aged young men watching her; JR was occupied by the man at the information desk and had left his wife to shop while he confirmed their dinner reservation. Even with his last minute plans, he had been able to buy his way into getting a table the best restaurant in town, a fine dining establishment located within one of the local golf clubs; luckily, golf clubs catered to men like him and the Ewing name and money was able to get him everything he wanted. Sue Ellen picked up a small crystal bowl and admired it, deciding that it would look lovely in the lake house; "hello beautiful", Sue Ellen looked up at the young man standing next to her, he reminded her of some of the fraternity guys she went to college with. She knew his type well, he was handsome and he knew it, and his good looks combined with his confidence meant that he likely had an attitude to match, that's usually how it was. She gave him a small smile before politely excusing herself, walking a little further away from him, hoping that he would get the hint, she wasn't interested. She was a happily married woman and she really didn't feel like talking to anyone right now, not even someone who was just being nice, though she'd met many men like him before, he wasn't just being nice, he really thought that he would get somewhere if he persisted. The man followed her, not taking her hint to leave her alone, "hey, that's not nice", he moved in front of her, Sue Ellen didn't appreciate him following her or cutting her path, but she didn't say anything, she wasn't going to be rude, she just wanted him to leave her alone. "You know, I really thought that Miss Texas was supposed to be courteous and charming, but so far all I see is a snobby little b…", he was cut off by his friend who had been observing the situation, "Mark, don't speak like that in front of the lady". He smiled at Sue Ellen as if he were trying to be the hero, though she sensed he was even less genuine than his friend was, she didn't know who they were or why they were bringing up her Miss Texas title, but she didn't care, all she wanted was to shop in peace. "I'm sorry about my friend here, he doesn't understand women", the other man looked her up and down as he spoke, making Sue Ellen even more uncomfortable; "let's start again shall we? I'm Eddie, and this is my friend Mark", he motioned to his friend and waited for her to speak.

She felt trapped, she hadn't wanted to be in the conversation, but she was now and it would look even more rude if she didn't say anything, "Sue Ellen", she gave a small smile and scanned the room, looking around for JR, spotting him at the information desk, still completely enthralled in conversation. "Nice to meet you Sue Ellen", Eddie smiled at her, she was even more beautiful than in the pictures, and he found it difficult to keep his mind in check. He, and probably a good chunk of the young male population of Texas, had had more than a few fantasies about her over the past few years and it would give him exclusive bragging rights if he was the one to finally make those fantasies a reality. "You're very beautiful, perhaps even more so now than when you were Miss Texas", Sue Ellen heard his compliment, but she wasn't very flattered, she got a bad vibe from him and it made her uncomfortable. "Thank you", all she wanted to do was leave the conversation, but it would seem rude if she did, after being called snobby by his friend, she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of proving them both right."You know, my sister, she was a big fan of the whole pageant thing, she just had to have all of those publicity photographs from the newspaper, and when you started modelling for that magazine, well, my mom, she bought every issue for her. She was your biggest fan, and I have to say, I was a pretty big fan myself", he whistled and Sue Ellen shuddered. He wasn't going to go so far as to tell her that he had had his own little collection of her photographs, and that her bikini pictures were passed around the locker room at his high school, he didn't want to scare her away, he just wanted her to know that she had fans outside of the typical demographic. Sue Ellen felt ill, he was at maximum her own age, probably a year or two younger, there was no way he just admired her for her charity work and she shuddered at the thought of him using her pictures for anything else. "Me too, big fan. Those blue bikini pictures", Mark jumped into the conversation and whistled as he finished his sentence, giving no doubt as to why he was a fan, and it had nothing to do with philanthropy. Sue Ellen's face went pale, JR had been right and she felt guilty and dirty now, she had really been naïve enough to believe that the only people who read Her Style magazine were young and teenage girls. She had really defended that belief and it made her feel physically sick to know that she had been wrong; she was a completely pure young lady back then and the idea that her image was used for anything less than pure greatly offended her. Eddie noticed the way her expression changed and he smacked Mark's arm as if to punish him for misspeaking, he realised that any chance of this conversation going anywhere was gone now, his friend had said too much and scared her. Sue Ellen didn't know what to say, offering a weak smile in response to their comments, it was really creeping her out now and all she wanted was to leave.

JR finished his conversation, satisfied with the arrangements for their dinner tonight; looking around the room, he spotted Sue Ellen, standing with her back to him and chatting with two college boys; he was surprised at how the sight made him feel, a mixture of jealousy and cocky pride. He didn't like the idea of any other man looking her way, but it also made him feel good in a strange way; she was all his, and at the end of the day it was his bed that she would be in, and he was the only man that had ever and would ever know her in that way. "How about we all continue this conversation over a drink?" Mark was oblivious to the way Sue Ellen was feeling and continued to pursue her, he really thought that he still had a chance, and he was even feeling generous enough to share her with Eddie if it meant that he got the chance to fulfil his fantasies. JR made his way over to the threesome and heard the end of Mark's sentence, something that really annoyed him, he couldn't believe that Sue Ellen had actually let the conversation go that far, she should know better than to flirt with men. Sue Ellen didn't know what to say, she felt like she was being backed into a corner, "sorry boys, she's busy, she has plans with a real man, and even if she didn't, neither of you two little boys would be in her league. Now, why don't you two run along", Sue Ellen sighed with relief as JR came up behind her, though she knew it probably wasn't going to be that easy, Mark seemed to really believe that he had a chance with her. "Hey, I don't know who you think you are old man, but we were talking to her first. So you can take your attitude and get to the back of the line, because Miss Texas here, she's all mine"; Eddie had been right when he had said that Mark didn't understand women, and it was now abundantly clear that he didn't understand when someone was serious either, because it was clear that JR was in no way joking.

JR was angry now, he didn't put up with anyone speaking to him like that, especially not some little college boy, "I must not have made myself clear, I'm JR Ewing, and this is Sue Ellen Ewing… my wife. So, if Miss Texas belongs to anybody, it's me". Eddie and Mark's faces dropped, both now looking at her left hand, she was holding the crystal bowl so that her hand was somewhat obscured and neither had noticed the large diamond ring on her finger before. JR grinned as the two boys awkwardly stood there, he knew that he'd won, but for good measure he had to make sure that he got his point across, "I trust that there'll be no more trouble. Now, come along darlin', let's go home, we have a few things to discuss…in private", he emphasised the end of his sentence and made it clear that their discussion would end in one place. Although truthfully, he did actually need to have a word with her about her behaviour, he wouldn't always be there to save her and he needed her to understand that flirting with other men wasn't acceptable for a married lady. He still believed that she had done something to encourage their behaviour and he wanted to make sure that it didn't happen again in future. He had a jealous side, but he would frame his feelings as concern and anger rather than jealousy, he didn't like her having the power of knowing that he still got jealous about attention from other men. He was sure that there would be some kind of an argument, she didn't enjoy when he accused her of things like that and she had a feisty side when confronted with her own actions. It wasn't a side of her that he saw very often anymore, but he knew it existed, he'd seen it a few times when they were dating. She was quiet and submissive most of the time, but occasionally she did argue back, and although he'd never admit it, he actually quite enjoyed that side of her, she was sexy when she was mad. Sue Ellen didn't care about how things were between she and JR right now, she was just thankful to have a real exit strategy; they paid for the crystal bowl and made their way back to the lake house. She could feel the tension in the car and she prepared herself for an argument when they got inside; she would never tell JR about what the young men had said prior to his arrival, because he would certainly use it as ammunition against her, but she was surprised at how tempted she was to do it anyway. She didn't enjoy arguing, but she loved making up, and the bigger the fight, the better the sex; it was a slightly messed up idea, but that's just how it was, and the devilish side of her was tempted to bring them the most pleasure through the most pain.

To be continued…


	145. Anniversary

**Denison, Texas**

It was Monday morning and JR was relaxed as he drank his morning coffee, sitting on the couch in the living room with his wife leaning against him; "happy anniversary darlin'", he smiled as he handed her two wrapped boxes, giving her a light kiss and waiting for her to open her gifts. They'd decided to bring breakfast into the living room for a more comfortable experience while they exchanged gifts, though Sue Ellen had a sneaking suspicion that there was an ulterior motive to their new 'comfortable' location. Opening the first box she gasped, JR always bought her the most exquisite jewellery and she had yet to be disappointed by any of his gifts; inside the box was a beautiful set of tanzanite and diamond jewellery, including a bracelet, necklace and pendant earrings. "Oh JR, they're beautiful, thank you", she moved closer to him and kissed him; she couldn't believe how well their anniversary weekend was going, things were so different here, it almost felt like the old days again, back when everything was new and exciting. She really hoped that this was a new chapter for them and that their relationship would continue on this path when they returned to Dallas, she liked this version of JR, he was so attentive and loving, and she hoped that it wasn't just a passing phase. JR pulled away slowly, not breaking their kiss too early, "I'm glad you like them, I spent hours in the store choosing just the right ones", he smiled at her, "you're not finished yet though", he motioned toward the second box and watched her gleefully unwrap it. "Thank you JR, I love it", Sue Ellen examined the large wooden jewellery box and smiled, it was beautiful and would fit perfectly with their bedroom décor. JR never failed at gift giving and she hoped that her gifts were as well received, she had put a lot of thought into it, but she still found him a difficult man to buy for, he had almost no actual hobbies and he was a millionaire who already had everything he really needed or wanted. "I love you JR, happy anniversary", Sue Ellen stood and moved to grab the two boxes on the coffee table, quickly returning to her spot, snuggled closely at his side; she handed him the first box and nervously waited for him to open it. JR watched her as she handed him the box, her smile was weaker than it had been just a moment ago and he assumed that it had to do with her lack of self-confidence when it came to pleasing him; even after a whole year of marriage, she still constantly worried about what he thought and downplayed her own capabilities. JR made a conscious effort to not show any negative emotion as he unwrapped the box, it was easier to pretend to be happy than to have to console her because he accidentally said something wrong. As he opened the box, his smile grew and turned into a completely genuine smile, her gift showed that she really did know him well and that she didn't need to be so self-conscious all the time, "it's perfect", he looked into her eyes as he spoke, wanting her to know that he was totally serious. Sue Ellen let out a small sigh of relief, she had spent days looking in different stores for the perfect watch, and she'd finally found one that matched her JR Ewing approved mental image; months ago, he had asked her to describe the watch she would choose for him, and she had finally found something that matched the exact description. JR brushed a piece of hair out of her eyes as he looked at her, sometimes it still surprised him that he was actually married to such a beautiful, wonderful woman; as much as he took her for granted, he did love her, and this weekend had reminded him of that. He knew that things would be different when they returned to Dallas, there was so much more to his life than just his wife, and unfortunately, he couldn't always focus on her needs; but for now, none of that mattered and he was content to take full advantage of what he had right in front of him. "I love you", he looked at her as he spoke, wanting to make sure that she knew that he meant it; Sue Ellen was touched, this was all she needed, a husband who loved her and made it known. All of the pain she endured in his absence and his preoccupation with other things was worth it when he reaffirmed his love for her, she felt like crying, though she knew that that was unnecessary, she was just so happy, she really loved him, and hearing him say it back to her so sincerely made her emotional. "I love you JR", he noticed the way her voiced changed when she spoke and made his move, kissing her to cut off any risk of her becoming an emotional mess, he loved that she was so attached to him, but he found it difficult to deal with her when she was overly emotional about it.

"Thank you for this JR, I love spending time with you, just the two of us", they walked along the lakefront again, holding hands and talking about anything that came to mind; they'd been inside the house all morning, not that either of them were complaining about being inside, they just needed a little fresh air now though. They'd had a wonderful morning, christening the living room and the kitchen, and Sue Ellen hoped that they could eventually make it around the whole house, she was enjoying this version of JR immensely and had wondered why it had taken a year for them to get to this point, it wasn't like she had ever denied him of anything. "So do I darlin', I'm sorry we don't get to do this much back home", he acknowledged that they didn't get nearly as much time together as they should have been able to, but he stopped before he made any promises to change that; he would try, but he couldn't commit to anything. He knew that his plan for Bobby's position in the company was about to make him even busier with work at the office and he hated that that inevitably meant less time for his wife, but he had to do what was best for Ewing Oil and sometimes that meant other areas of his life had to suffer. All of his hard work wasn't just for him, it was for everyone involved, his father, his future son and his wife, he had to build a name and a legacy for himself, he had to be the best, and that meant focusing his energy on getting to that point. "I…", he began to speak, but he was cut off by Sue Ellen as she stopped walking and just hugged him; she was having serious déjà vu right now and she really didn't feel like rehashing old promises, all she wanted was to enjoy the moment, even if it was only temporary state of happiness. JR held her tight, wondering why she had just randomly chosen to hug him, not that he was complaining though, "I love you JR, and I understand. But please, let's just enjoy our anniversary, no talk of the future, just us, here and now", she pulled away and looked him in the eye, she just wanted something to hold onto, she knew that it wasn't forever, but for the time they did have together, she wanted it to be amazing, not spent brooding over the unknown future. "Absolutely darlin'", JR grinned, he was actually rather pleased that she didn't want any promises from him, it made it easier to justify his actions in his mind; he had to do what he had to do, and she understood and supported that. Right now though, none of that mattered, he had the most beautiful woman in the world standing in front of him, begging him to pay attention to her; he had less than 24 hours left alone with her and he didn't intend on wasting any more time thinking.

To be continued…


	146. Promotion

**Dallas, Texas**

"I have to say, Bobby did an excellent job with that meeting, and I think he could really be an asset for us", JR stood in his father's office as they discussed the current state of Ewing Oil, recapping the past few months of business and looking toward the future. JR had had a plan for a long time and it was finally coming to fruition, he would soon be back in his rightful position, his power his alone, not shared with Bobby. He had to make sure that he acted slowly and carefully though, because he couldn't have his father getting suspicious of his motives, that would just set him back. Jock nodded and agreed, he was proud of the progress that Bobby had made and he was glad that JR was acknowledging it; he really seemed to be maturing and seeing his brother as an ally, not an enemy, exactly the way it was supposed to be. They talked for a little longer and then JR returned to his own office, finishing catching up on paperwork that had accumulated and ending the day with a drink to congratulate himself for planting the seeds for the next phase of his plan without seeming suspicious. On his way home from work he stopped to pick up flowers for Sue Ellen, he was a happy man, and he wanted to make sure that he had a happy wife, he couldn't have anything distracting him from his plan.

Sue Ellen was pleased with the way JR had been acting since they had come back from their anniversary weekend, he really seemed to be making an effort to keep her happy and satisfied and she was enjoying his attention immensely. She had purposely cut him off from making a promise when they were at the lake house, because she didn't want him to make promises that he couldn't keep; but so far, he hadn't presented her with any opportunity for dissatisfaction, he was the JR that she knew and loved, and she hoped that he continued to stay that way. In the past few weeks, since returning from their trip, instead of coming home from work angry or frustrated, he was relaxed and happy; she didn't know exactly what his plan was, but he kept reassuring her that he was about to be back in power again, and his constant conflict with Bobby would be a thing of the past. She was truly thankful that things seemed to be getting back to the way they were before; it was both a selfish thanks and a selfless thanks, she really wanted him to be happy, but she selfishly enjoyed the way he changed when he spoke about regaining his power, it was a turn-on, and she liked it.

Sue Ellen was just getting ready for dinner when she heard JR's car in the driveway, she didn't really know how, but she had come to recognize the difference in engine sound between the cars at Southfork. Standing in her closet, she could tell that it was JR's car and that he was in a good mood, there was something about the force that he slammed the door with, it wasn't angry, but it was powerful. JR walked up the stairs with a grin on his face, he'd finally done it, he'd finally convinced his father that Bobby was perfect for a specific division of their work, and his father hadn't suspected anything other than genuine concern for the future of Ewing Oil. He needed someone to share the excitement with before his father made the official announcement, he hadn't even told Bobby yet, but he'd liaised with JR and they'd come to the decision to 'promote' Bobby. Ordinarily, the idea of Bobby getting a promotion would have bothered him, but he had orchestrated this whole thing, and he knew exactly what he was doing; Bobby wouldn't be getting any work that JR hadn't already had first refusal on, not that he'd be told that, he would just be happy with the new role he was playing. When Bobby had first worked for Ewing Oil, JR was bothered by the fact that he was given the fun, easy jobs, and that he really didn't have to do a whole lot of work, but he'd quickly come to realise that he actually preferred it that way, it was better than the alternative. He liked having control of the actual decisions within the company and he didn't enjoy having to consult with his brother before making any little moves, it was bad enough that Jock sometimes tried to control his deals, but at least he knew when to trust JR and leave him to do his own work. He didn't see his months of training Bobby as a total waste though, because he was now a much better oilman than he had been when he first joined the company, and three great minds were always better than one. Bobby's training would benefit Ewing Oil in the long run, because he would be out on the road representing Ewing Oil, something JR wouldn't want any old idiot doing, they had a reputation to maintain and he needed someone with a sharp business mind, even if it was mostly a social job. "Sue Ellen?" he entered the bedroom and found her standing waiting for him, smiling as if she already knew that he had good news, though he didn't quite know how she could have known, he'd been pretty tight-lipped with the exact details of his plan, he couldn't risk her accidentally saying something that would tip-off his father or brother. He handed her the bouquet of yellow roses and hugged her, wondering exactly how much she had already known when she whispered that she was proud of him; he hadn't even explained the situation, but she knew that he had good news, she just knew.

"…and so, I'll be around a lot more often, because I can send Bobby to do all of those unimportant and boring out-of-town meetings while I focus on the work we have here in Dallas. It's perfect, Bobby's much better at that superficial social rapport than I am, and he is perfectly able to handle the work I approve for him", he grinned as they lay in bed together, it felt good to finally be able to explain his plan, though he still left a lot of information out, she didn't need to know everything. Sue Ellen smiled, she loved seeing him happy like this, and she loved that the change meant that he would be able to spend more time in Dallas with her rather than having to leave town for extended periods of time for out-of-town meetings, leaving her all alone. "I knew you could do it", she turned and kissed him on the cheek, she wanted him to know how proud of him she was, and she was, she couldn't believe that he'd been able to change things without anyone really noticing his manipulation. She had been confused when he had first accepted Bobby into the company without argument, but she had quickly realised that he was playing a long game and that she just needed to watch and learn, and she did just that, marvelling at the way he slowly worked the situation to suit his own personal preferences. "Thank you darlin'", he kissed her lips lightly before looking at the clock, "I hate to say it, but we have to get up, otherwise we'll be late to dinner, and you know how daddy hates that". He kissed her once more before they got out of bed and eventually made their way downstairs for cocktails and dinner with the family. Sue Ellen knew not to say anything to the family, but secretly she couldn't have been happier, things were finally going JR's way again, and when things were good for JR, they were good for her, and their marriage.

To be continued…


	147. New Chapter

**Dallas, Texas**

"Remember your job is to pass out the three B's; booze, broads and booty. Everything you need is in here", Jock waved toward Bobby's briefcase, "and in here", he tapped his head, "distribute favours to anybody who can help Ewing Oil. With everything that's going on right now, we need all the help we can get, and I have every intention of keeping Ewing Oil independent, stockholders are the last people we need to be pleasing right now". As much as he had debated the idea, he knew that it was the right thing to do, Bobby was the perfect man for the job, and it was what was best for Ewing Oil. Bobby's new job as the Ewing Oil roadman, dealing with all of their out-of-town contacts, would free up JR's time to focus on the office and their business in Dallas. JR was more valuable to Ewing Oil in the office handling all of their local business than he was doing the required pimping and promoting. It was necessary for Ewing Oil to stay popular and spread a little goodwill around, but it was a waste of JR's business talent to have him travelling and people pleasing when he was required for other important work in Dallas. Bobby on the other hand, he had more success out of the office than he did in the office, and it only seemed logical for him to take over the necessary in-state duties and occasional out-of-state work, though his job would mostly consist of travelling around Texas. Most of the important out-of-state work would still be JR's domain, because Ewing Oil was mainly a Texas based company, so when they did out-of-state work, it was considered highly important and required someone who knew exactly what they were doing. It would be irresponsible for him to send an inexperienced Bobby to Washington to meet with senators, so JR would deal with those types of things; he had more experience and was more knowledgeable about the oil business when it came to the men in Washington. In addition, he had a lot of personal connections there, and politicians liked to know who they were dealing with before sharing any information. For the general schmoozing though, Bobby was perfect. The changes would be good for Ewing Oil and would please JR's wife too, Jock wasn't blind, he knew that Sue Ellen took it hard when JR had to go away on business, even when she tried her best to pretend that she wasn't missing him terribly. He also knew that having JR go away on business often wasn't good for the expansion of the Ewing family; so with any luck, JR's increased presence in Dallas would hopefully also increase the likelihood of having John Ross Ewing III with them by Christmas. He'd been waiting over a year and was getting frustrated with the slow progress, but he hadn't given up hope yet; Miss Ellie assured him that Sue Ellen had confirmed that she and JR were still very much trying to conceive and that Dr Danvers had said there was no reason to worry just yet, everything was completely normal. Therefore, instead of questioning it constantly the way he had in the beginning, he patiently stayed quiet and waited for the announcement. "Yes daddy, I'm ready", Bobby was confident that he was prepared and was actually excited about his new job, he was looking forward to getting out of the office and talking to people, he had always enjoyed that aspect of the oil business more than the maps and contracts. "Good, you know what to do. Now, you'd better get going, you don't want to be late", Jock shook his hand and Bobby left the office, his first set of meetings were in Midland and he would then make his way through three other cities before coming back to Dallas to review and get his next set of duties. His job was to make sure that potential business partners had a good perception of Ewing Oil, and he was completely ready for that challenge. As much as he didn't want to admit it, JR had taught him a thing or two about getting what was best for Ewing Oil and sometimes that meant he had to be a little devious, something he hadn't really understood at first, but he understood now, sometimes it was just necessary.

Sue Ellen walked around The Store as she browsed the ladies clothes, she was looking for something specific and she had yet to find it, nothing was really catching her eye and the things that did just didn't seem to fit right today. JR had committed to taking her out to dinner to celebrate Bobby's new job and his rightful position, though they wouldn't be telling the rest of the family the reason for their celebration, JR still had to act as if he wasn't completely overjoyed that he was working alone again. JR had been so attentive to her lately, he really seemed to be on a high from Bobby's new positon in the company and his own regaining of sole control of second-in-command power, and when JR was happy, she was happy, because everything was much more relaxed when he didn't have to stress about where he stood in Ewing Oil. Although he had been the vice president all along, he had still had to share his decision making with Bobby, and that took away from his overall authority; but now that Bobby was out of the office, he was back where he belonged, and he couldn't have been happier. As she looked through the clothes on the racks she began to get frustrated, there was nothing that wowed her, and if it didn't dazzle her in the store, then JR certainly wouldn't be impressed when she met him for dinner later. She liked to look nice for him and she found that if she dressed just a tiny bit sexier for their dates than she did for family dinners, they both ended up very happy at the end of the night. There was definitely a fine line between sexy and slutty though, and she made sure that she only picked things that were tasteful and classy, because she didn't want to disappoint him, he was very particular about how his wife looked. Not finding anything that she liked, she left frustrated and disappointed; she didn't have time to drive to Fort Worth, and she'd already browsed every store in downtown Dallas, she would have to settle for something she already owned. Arriving back at Southfork, she looked through her closet, her eyes welling with tears as she became more upset about her lack of spectacular clothing; her mind was telling her that it was irrational, but her emotions took over as the tears began to spill onto her cheeks. Ten minutes later, she splashed cold water on her face and reapplied her makeup, staring at her reflection as she questioned her behaviour, she hadn't even really been that sad, but her emotions had all come to the surface at once and she had been unable to stop the tears. She didn't know why it had happened, but she hoped that it was a one off thing, because it would be highly embarrassing if that happened with other people around. She finished getting ready and was back to being happy again when JR arrived home; pushing her earlier behaviour out of her mind, she took her husband's hand and followed him out of the house, she was going to have a good time because she wanted to, whether she had a new dress or not.

To be continued…


	148. Positive?

**Dallas, Texas**

"Yes, I'd like to make an appointment with Dr Danvers today please", Sue Ellen played with the telephone cord as she waited patiently for the receptionist to check the open appointments. "…Sue Ellen Ewing… yes, two o'clock is fine, thank you", she hung up the phone and looked at her calendar again, smiling to herself as she looked at the date, she was officially a week late and she was sure that it really meant something this time, there were too many coincidences for it not to be true. She'd been feeling tired, emotional and had been sick two or three times in the past week, and with the predicted date of her monthly visitor coming and going without event, she put everything together, coming to the obvious conclusion. It even made sense that she had felt like nothing fit her properly when she was shopping, of course, her body wouldn't change that quickly, but something inside of her was telling her that things were different and her mind was convinced that she already looked different. Out of superstition and worry of spreading false hope, she didn't tell anyone about her suspicions, not even JR, she didn't want anyone to worry about her or question her before she had any real answers. She was confident that her appointment with Dr Danvers this afternoon would confirm her suspicions and she would finally have good news to share with the family soon, they'd been waiting a long time for her to say those words.

Julie sat at her desk, deep in thought; JR appeared to be happier and more relaxed lately and she hated that she didn't know why, it made her feel like an outsider and going from being an insider in JR's life to an outsider was not a pleasant change. She had really thought that she was getting somewhere with JR earlier in the year, he'd been busy and stressed, the two most common times where he usually turned to her for companionship; but it was already early April and she hadn't been with him once this year, his faithful husband shtick was getting old quickly. JR's mood had doubly improved since Bobby had gotten his promotion and had become less present in the office; if she didn't know JR, she would have just thought that he was pleased with business, but she did know him, and she was sure that there was something more. It was almost as if he had planned everything and it was killing her not knowing for sure; she was sure that if it had been any time before February 1970 she would have known as soon as he formulated a plan. She really hated Sue Ellen for taking JR away from her, even though that wasn't really the reality of the situation, JR had never actually been hers to claim, she was always just someone he used for his own personal gain. She was sure that there was absolutely no way that JR Ewing was a one-woman man, it just wasn't possible, he had to be sleeping with other women, he was not the kind of man to willingly give up that lifestyle. She was sure that if she tried hard enough, she'd be back in his bed, and his life, in no time, and that's exactly what she intended on doing.

JR sat in his office and grinned to himself as he read the reports Bobby had sent back from his latest set of meetings, there was a mixture of positive and negative emotion written in the internal documents and JR was pleased that he had managed to dodge some of the meetings. Bobby was a lot better at being cordial than he was and it was probably best for Ewing Oil that he was the one to attend the meetings. It was apparent in the written reports that JR wasn't alone in his opinion of some of their potential business partners though; Bobby had had the displeasure of meeting with a few different men that JR had been putting off for months, some boring, others rude and arrogant and some just partially incompetent but necessary for Ewing Oil's business. It was frustrating to rely on people who you really didn't enjoy doing business with and JR was pleased that he'd managed to push the responsibility for those matters onto Bobby's plate; it hadn't been the main reason why he edged Bobby out of the office, but it was definitely an extra benefit. Things were good for him right now, he had his power back, Ewing Oil was still in the black despite the global oil industry and the world economy having issues, and his personal life was better than it had been in months. He and Sue Ellen had really connected during their anniversary weekend and even discovered some things they didn't know about their marriage previously; thankfully, their happiness had continued when they returned home and they'd yet to encounter any further issues in their relationship. He was pleased with her as a wife, she really tried to understand and please him, but she was also learning to do things for her own happiness too, it was better for them that way. Things between them were more enjoyable when she didn't smother him and solely focus her attention on him, he still had enough space to breathe and do his own thing and they had more topics to talk about when they did spend time alone together.

Sue Ellen left Dr Danvers office with a smile on her face, she was confident that the doctor had all but told her that she was pregnant and she couldn't be happier. She still had to wait a few days for her test results and for the doctor to actually confirm everything, but to her that was really just a formality; she felt it within her, she knew deep down that she was going to have a baby and that it was real this time. It was a wonderful feeling to have to know that she was finally going to be able to give the family the news that they'd been waiting for for so long now. Jock and Miss Ellie made no secret of wanting a grandson, and it was clear that JR felt the same way; even Lucy still occasionally whined about the lack of other children around Southfork and asked when Sue Ellen would have a baby. Though Sue Ellen was sure that Lucy was beginning to realise that even when the baby arrived, there would still be at least a ten-year age difference between them and playing together was probably not something that would actually happen. She'd been starting to feel like a real failure, like if she wasn't the mother of the Ewing heir, then she wasn't anything, but with the news, she would finally solidify her position in the Ewing family. Arriving back at Southfork, she was pleased that no one else appeared to be home, she didn't want to have to answer any questions about her whereabouts this afternoon before she had official confirmation. Heading upstairs, she smiled to herself and hoped that the next few days went quickly, because she wasn't sure how long she could keep the secret to herself, or how long she wanted to keep it to herself, she was just so happy.

To be continued…


	149. Diagnosis

**Dallas, Texas**

"…well yes, I can come in today, but I don't understand why you can't just tell me over the phone", Sue Ellen listened as the nurse explained that Dr Danvers had specifically requested to see her in person and that she wasn't authorized to go and look at her patient file to find out the test results. Sue Ellen sighed, it didn't make her feel at all secure to know that the doctor wanted to see her in person to tell her the results, but she reassured herself that it was probably just a standard prenatal check-up and that she would need to go to an appointment anyway. She was sure that the doctor had just requested to see her to combine the two events and save time, but she was still nervous; she had convinced herself that she was pregnant and it would be devastating if the results said anything else. "Sue Ellen?" Miss Ellie walked down the stairs just as she finished her phone call, "are you ready?" in the midst of her thoughts, she'd completely forgotten that they had a DOA meeting, "yes", she picked up her purse and made her way out to her car. Miss Ellie thought that Sue Ellen looked a little distracted, but she didn't say anything, she didn't think it was her place to pry if Sue Ellen didn't want to talk about it.

"I've got a meeting and probably won't be back this afternoon, so if anything happens, you deal with it", Jock finished his drink and left JR's office, his meeting probably wouldn't take all afternoon, but they'd likely end up at the Cattlemen's Club socialising afterwards and he didn't want JR to expect him back. JR was the vice president and he was perfectly capable of overseeing things for the day, so Jock saw no reason to return, it wasn't as if Bobby were there needing his guidance. JR grinned as his father left the building, they'd been busy lately, but today he had a clear schedule for the rest of the afternoon and he was almost finished his paperwork, he could take a long lunch if he wanted to, he had missed doing things like that. Julie quietly worked at her desk, running out of immediate work to do soon after Jock left the building; on her way back from dropping some papers off in Jock's office, she knocked on JR's door, it seemed like the perfect time to offer her services, professionally of course.

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Miss Ellie was beginning to worry about her daughter-in-law, she seemed awfully distracted today and now she was turning down lunch plans with some of the DOA ladies after the meeting, it was unusual behaviour for Sue Ellen and she hoped that it wasn't anything serious. "No, you go on ahead, I think I'll just head home, I'm a bit tired today", Sue Ellen bent the truth as she talked her way out of the rest of the plans for the day; she was a bit tired, but she was more nervous than anything. Lunches with the DOA ladies could take hours if they got talking and today she didn't feel like talking nor did she have time to sit and listen, she had to be free in time to get to her doctor's appointment at two; Miss Ellie agreed and they went their separate ways as the meeting ended. Sue Ellen's stomach churned as she looked at her watch, she still had two hours before her appointment and her nerves were getting worse. No longer did she feel secure in her knowledge that it was just a standard prenatal appointment, there was something inside her telling her that something was wrong, there was no reason why Dr Danvers couldn't have specified why he wanted to see her this afternoon and delivered her results by phone, something didn't add up.

"I've missed this", Julie smiled at JR and touched his hand across the table as the waiter left with their lunch orders. She was surprised how easy it had been to get to this point, she had really thought that she would have to flirt a little more, but to her surprise, JR had actually invited her to lunch, completely of his own free will. "Mhm, it's been a while now", JR grinned at her, they used to do this regularly, of course, back then it was more than lunch that they were having, but today he was committed to just lunch. There was nothing wrong with two work colleagues and old friends eating together, not that it would have stopped him if there was something socially wrong with the situation though, he did what he wanted and didn't care about what other people thought. "So, how have you been?" it had been a while since they just sat down one-on-one and he didn't really know what to say but it seemed like an appropriate question to get the conversation started. He knew he had made a good decision in reinstating their friendship when Julie launched into some story about a disastrous date she'd been on with a well-known oilman; she started off being coy but soon revealed details, juicy details, things that he could mentally store away until a later point when they would come in handy. Julie was good at many things, but gathering information was one of her specialties; it was something that she did constantly, even when she wasn't asked to; she really was an asset for Ewing Oil, and she wasn't too bad personally either.

Sue Ellen drove home in a daze, her mind subconsciously numbing any thoughts or feelings until she was safely alone in the privacy of her bedroom at Southfork; only then did she feel free to express any emotions. JR didn't know how long she had been that way, but as he entered their bedroom when he arrived home from work, he immediately knew something was wrong. His wife was lying on their bed in the fetal position with faint tearstains on her cheeks; she was still fully clothed and her eyes were open, but she was largely unresponsive to his presence. He didn't know what to do, he hadn't expected to come home to this and he didn't have a clue why she was upset, but it was clear that something was wrong. He didn't want to get the family involved unless completely necessary, and he didn't particularly feel like getting the doctor to come and visit before he knew the problem himself, he decided to try and see whether he could get any answers though he wasn't sure whether his methods were at all correct, he'd never encountered anything like this before. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he stroked her hair and whispered her name, trying to get her to communicate with him or even just respond to his actions; he needed to know what was wrong before he could fix the problem but he didn't know how to get that information. Sue Ellen was still in shock as her thoughts returned to the present, she didn't know how to process the information that Dr Danvers had given her and she hated herself for thinking so far ahead without knowing anything for sure, she felt like she had set herself up for disappointment. She had really believed that she was pregnant, everything pointed toward it, but her tests had come back negative and Dr Danvers had called her in for an appointment to re-evaluate her symptoms. After questioning her about her life and marriage, he had concluded that she was having a delayed reaction to stress and anxiety from the past few months and that her body had displayed symptoms similar to pregnancy, but she was never actually pregnant. It was devastating and she didn't know how to react, or more importantly, what to tell JR, she hadn't planned on being an emotional mess when he returned home, but she hadn't had much control over anything after she shut their bedroom door, her emotions all coming out at once. It calmed her to have JR whispering her name and stroking her hair, but she was still unsure of what to say, she didn't know how to explain it and every time she tried, she ended up crying and mumbling. JR didn't know what to do, she wasn't making any sense and he couldn't seem to get her to completely calm down; picking up the phone, he did the only thing that seemed to make any sense to him, he called Dr Danvers.

**Author's Note: I'm sorry that this wasn't what a few of you wanted, I'd already written this chapter prior to uploading the previous one and had planned on keeping the story somewhat canon with the show rather than AU, so things couldn't really work the way that some of you wanted them to. That being said, the whole story isn't written and there's nothing to say that it has to stay that way if everyone wants an AU story rather than following the continuity of the show. I'd love to get a little feedback on that, so please do feel free to comment on that if you have an opinion one way or another. Thanks :)**


	150. Concern

**Dallas, Texas**

"Stress and anxiety?" JR looked at the doctor as if he were crazy, Sue Ellen had no job or real responsibilities, she didn't even have that many friends, her days consisted of shopping, DOA meetings and being there for him when he returned home from work, so what she had to be stressed or anxious about was a mystery to him. Dr Danvers looked at JR disapprovingly, his reaction wasn't at all what Sue Ellen needed right now, she was unstable and emotionally drained, and having JR act as if she didn't have the right to feel that way was not good for her recovery. "Yes, it appears that she's been internalising negative emotions and burying them rather than dealing with things as she feels them", he explained to JR about the talk he and Sue Ellen had had about her life and marriage. He didn't want to break doctor-patient confidentiality so he made sure to not go into too much detail about their conversation, but he said enough for JR to realise that her calm, perfect-wife exterior was just a façade and that she felt everything on a personal level, even when it wasn't directed at her. The late nights at the office, the business trips, his position in the company, his rivalry with Bobby, the way he chose to spend his free time, the way he spoke to her when they were alone and treated her when they were with the family; she felt something about everything, but she said nothing. JR truly had no idea that she thought so much about what he did and how she could change herself to better suit the situation rather than the other way around. He had assumed that sending her flowers and taking her out to dinner would make up for the times when he couldn't be there for her; he had believed that because she had said so, but apparently it couldn't have been further from the truth. She never made mention of the way she felt or that she didn't think his efforts were good enough, she always accepted his apologies and promises and never countered his arguments, so he really had no idea that she was so upset about everything. He occasionally heard her whine about his decisions, but she usually quickly changed back into the submissive wife that he expected her to be; he had assumed that when she did that, she was realising that she was being unreasonable, not that she was faking acceptance for his sake. Things were a mess; selfishly he was thinking about the strain that this was going to put on their relationship, he couldn't really dedicate any more time to her than he already did and he really didn't need anything else to worry about right now. There were enough serious things going on in the world for him to be concerned about and his wife having a breakdown was an unnecessary strain; this had all come at a terrible time for him. He knew it wasn't about his feelings and what was convenient for him, but the selfish and uncaring side of him didn't really see it that way, she was his wife and she needed to learn how to deal with the things that came with that role. "So where do we go from here?" he asked the doctor, subconsciously doing exactly what Sue Ellen had been doing, burying one set of feelings and displaying another; they weren't completely false feelings, he really did want her to get better, he just didn't want to have to do anything differently in his own life.

Jock, Miss Ellie and Lucy had just been chatting in the living room when Dr Danvers arrived and was met by JR who ushered him upstairs without explanation; they didn't know what was going on and were growing more concerned by the minute as Miss Ellie remembered the way Sue Ellen had been acting earlier in the day. "Thank you doctor", JR shook his hand as he walked him to the door, he felt a little better now that Sue Ellen was getting medical help, but he was still hesitant about the whole situation. Just because she was sedated now didn't mean that she was cured, she would wake up with the same issues that she went to sleep with and she was the only one that could fix her problems. The thing was, he wasn't sure that he was ready for a wife who openly told him how she felt about things; what he really needed was her to act the way she had been acting, and mean it. He needed her to be understanding and supportive of his decisions, but he needed her to act that way because she actually believed that it was the right thing to do, not because she was playing a character; in a way, things had been easier when they were unaware of her issues. "JR?" Miss Ellie stood and walked toward him, concerned at the way he looked, but more concerned about his wife, something was wrong with Sue Ellen, she just knew it. "I don't want to go into detail mama, I don't think it's fair to Sue Ellen, but she'll be fine, she's just exhausted right now. I think I'm going to have dinner upstairs, will you have Teresa bring me up a tray please. None for Sue Ellen, she's sleeping at the moment", he was weary, he didn't feel like going through the whole thing again, especially not before he had a chance to speak to his wife about it. Therefore, instead of trying to explain, he opted for a very basic summary, Sue Ellen would be fine, her problem was more mental than anything and he was sure that with the right mindset, she would be all right, he couldn't deal with thinking anything else about it right now. Jock didn't like what he was hearing, he didn't like being out of the loop, but from the way Miss Ellie acted he knew better than to start questioning JR, there would be plenty of time for answers in the morning, but now was not the time or place to start asking difficult questions.

JR sat in a chair next to their bed as he watched Sue Ellen sleeping, he empathised with her for her feelings regarding what she believed to be a pregnancy; he knew how much she wanted a baby, and he understood it, he wanted a son himself and it was disappointing to have each month pass without news. It must have been difficult for her to hear the news that she wasn't actually pregnant, from the way the doctor had described it, she had been convinced that she was and that the test was just to confirm, so to be told that she wasn't, he understood why she would be upset. It troubled him that she had been keeping so much inside though, so much that her mental and emotional thoughts had caused physical symptoms; the balance in her life was clearly not correct if she was getting physically sick or breaking down in tears for no reason, it just wasn't healthy for her and that worried him. The doctor had been brief in his explanation of the issues, he had been trying to uphold confidentiality while also explaining the extent of the problem, but he had emphasised to JR that speaking to Sue Ellen would provide him with more insight into her problems and help them to work through their issues. Right now though, she was sleeping and JR was tired too, it wasn't the right time for either of them to talk, but tomorrow was a new day and he intended on getting some answers, as gently as possible of course.

To be continued...


	151. Contemplation

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen walked through the grounds of the Zilker Botanical Garden in Zilker Park; it was a nice, quiet walk, perfect for thinking and reflecting. She didn't really know what she was supposed to be doing, but sitting around her mother's house all day didn't sound at all appealing, she had to get out of the house and do something, but she really didn't feel like doing anything, so a long solitary walk seemed like the most logical thing to do. She hadn't even really wanted to visit with her mother and sister, but JR had insisted that she needed time to clear her head and relax; she wasn't sure exactly why he'd sent her to Austin to relax though, he knew how she felt about her mother. Now that she was here though, she had to agree that the time alone was actually quite nice, it wasn't that she couldn't spend time alone in Dallas, but there was always something happening, always something requiring her attention. She hadn't lived in Austin for over a year and she hadn't had any real friends in Austin since she graduated college almost three years ago, so the risk of running into someone she would actually have to spend time socialising with was minimal. Her loneliness prior to her engagement wasn't something she ever thought she'd be thankful for, but today she was, she didn't want to talk or pretend anymore, she just wanted to be happy again, make all of the pain go away.

She couldn't believe how things had changed in such a small space of time, just last week she had been on top of the world, she had really believed that everything was finally working out and she had the key to everyone's happiness, but that happiness had quickly disappeared. She had been foolish and had gotten ahead of herself before she had any real confirmation, and ultimately, she had set herself up for disappointment, at least that's how she saw it; she blamed herself for everything, even the things that were not her fault and she had no control over. Her life had been up and down for a while now, with JR's job demanding the majority of his attention and her assuming the role of quiet, supportive wife, it didn't leave a lot of room for them to spend much quality time together as a couple. She had really thought that things were getting better though; after their anniversary trip everything seemed to be going well, but apparently, that wasn't so. She didn't realise it, but the way they reunited after long absences didn't do anything good for their relationship. It was one thing to insist that they forget the past and focus on the present and the time they had together, but the way things were between them meant that they never talked about their problems and never addressed the seemingly little things that caused issues in their relationship. She said nothing about her feelings because she didn't want to burden him with any more problems or upset him by wording her thoughts wrong and making it seem as if she were blaming him for the way she felt; he already had so much to worry about and he didn't need his wife adding to that. The problem with her method was that by not addressing the issues directly with him, she buried those feelings and they grew inside her, causing her to feel things more deeply and personally than they were probably intended. All of a sudden a late night at the office or a business trip felt became a question as to whether her husband was avoiding her, and if he was then what was she doing wrong? A weekend hunting trip or going out drinking with his father felt even worse, because those were things he chose to do instead of being with her. Rationally she knew that it wasn't personal, he was a busy and important man who had responsibilities, and when he wasn't working he was entitled to his own life and to do what he pleased with his time, but the everything combined caused her to worry and question her own self-worth.

Then there was everything else in her life, she wanted a baby so badly, and the disappointment she felt each month that it didn't happen was heart-breaking. It was even worse to see the way that the family reacted to the delivery of no news at all, she felt useless and lonely; no one really understood what she was going though. There was so much pressure on her and JR to produce the Ewing heir and it really upset her when it didn't happen immediately, she had never expected it to be so difficult. She could almost see the way Jock's opinion of her was changing, he was beginning to wonder whether she was worth the trouble he'd gone to to strongly encourage JR to marry her, and she had begun to internalise that way of thinking herself. She felt like she would never be a real Ewing until John Ross Ewing III was a real person, a son would cement her position in the family and would relieve her of the stress of worrying about what would happen if she couldn't have children. JR tried to understand her position, but he never fully did; she needed it to happen more than he did, he was already a Ewing, but she was just his wife, she was replaceable if she was deemed unfit for the role; he was the key to John Ross Ewing III, she was essentially just the egg donor. On top of that, she worried about JR and his position in the company, she really wanted the best for him, she didn't like seeing him be treated badly or unfairly, and she wanted to be there to support him in any way he needed her to. Her role as Mrs JR Ewing was another thing that caused her to worry; being a Ewing meant that she had a whole list of people to impress, she had to be the perfect wife not only for her husband, but also for his family, their friends and the general society that they were a part of. It wouldn't look good for either of them if she showed anything less than happiness in public, and in private it felt the same way, she didn't want to upset or disappoint JR so she just kept all of her less than positive feelings to herself.

She had somewhat known that she was suppressing her emotions, but she hadn't realised the effect it would have on her; the physical signs of stress were a wakeup call, the way she dealt with things wasn't healthy and she needed to change. It was difficult for her to understand what she needed to do differently though, she was torn between two ideals and it confused her. For so long she had been told that a good wife was passive and submissive and so she believed that the way JR acted was normal and acceptable and she had to learn to live with that. But then Dr Danvers gave her a different perspective, although she wanted to be a good wife and do all of those things, it wasn't good for her or JR or their marriage if she kept everything inside; if they couldn't talk openly about small things, then they'd have a much harder time talking about the big things. She wasn't sure that JR would appreciate her saying anything more though, he seemed to expect her to act the way that she had been acting, accepting and not arguing with his decisions, she couldn't imagine that he would want to have an open discussion about things, especially not things that he couldn't really change. She didn't know where to go from here, she couldn't keep saying nothing, but she didn't want to cause him any more distress than he already had in his life and she didn't want to be a bad wife. Perhaps her trip to Austin was a good idea, she did need a little time away from Dallas to clear her head and think about everything.

To be continued…


	152. Home

**Dallas, Texas**

JR looked through his closet and picked out a shirt and tie to wear, it was a bit of a strange feeling not having Sue Ellen moving around the room as he got ready for work, he was so used to her being there now that he had forgotten what it was like without her. It was what was best for them right now though; he'd encouraged her to take a little trip to Austin to visit her mother and get away from the 'problems' that Dallas presented her with and he hoped that her trip was enough to clear her head and she would come back with a better way of thinking. The whole situation had been a wakeup call for him, he really hadn't realised that she had such strong feelings about his problems; he only told her things because she was his wife and he needed someone to rant to, but if she couldn't handle them, then it wasn't worth the stress it caused her. Because of the effect it had on her, he had made a personal commitment to himself to not burden her with unnecessary stress anymore; it had become quite clear that that did more harm than good and she didn't see things the same way he did. He couldn't do anything about the amount of time he spent with her and away from her, but he reasoned that those things would be less of a strain on their marriage if she didn't have to worry about why he was away; she didn't need to know the details of his work if they were going to upset her. He had a plan for her return to Dallas, she would no longer have to worry about him and he wouldn't really have to change anything about the way he treated her in their marriage; if he approached it correctly then it would be a win-win situation, at least that's how he saw it.

**Austin, Texas**

"…all of the lovely things you have …he has responsibilities and so do you …what would people think?" Sue Ellen listened as her mother rambled on about all of JR's good qualities and all of the positive things that came with being a Ewing. Almost everything she mentioned had something to do with power, money or her reputation; it was obvious that her mother cared an awful lot about those things and not much about anything else, especially not Sue Ellen's emotions. "…so I think it's time to go home to your husband", Sue Ellen listened and politely smiled, she actually agreed with her mother on that point; even with the way she felt at Southfork sometimes, it was her home now and she missed it. It was true, absence really did make the heart grow fonder, she actually missed Dallas and her life there, she missed being Mrs JR Ewing, part of the powerful, renowned Ewing family, she missed the ranch and the family, but most of all she missed her husband. Sometimes she was sad about the way things were, but her time away had taught her that being with JR in any capacity was better than being without him, she wanted to be his wife and she would live her life whatever way he wanted her to if it meant that she got to stay with him. Her trip to Austin had been nice enough, but she was glad to know that it wasn't permanent, she had almost forgotten what it was like to live with her mother, but she remembered now; being in Austin no longer felt like being at home, Dallas was her home now and she was ready to return to her life.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR walked down the stairs just as the phone began to ring, answering it, he was surprised to hear Sue Ellen's voice, he hadn't expected her to call, but he wasn't disappointed. He was pleased with her words and tone, she sounded calm and collected, not like the last time he had spoken to her, and she was calling to tell him that she would be returning home later that day. He was relieved, he had been worried about her mental state, but it seemed that her breakdown was really just temporary and a little bit of time alone was exactly what she needed. He hoped that when she did return that things would improve and go back to the way they were supposed to be. He had already decided not to burden her with his problems anymore and at least try to make her feel as if she wasn't the last thing on his list of priorities, but he needed her to make an effort too, he couldn't be the only one to change. He needed her to be the wife that she had been taught to be and he needed her to really mean it, he hoped that the purposeful lack of stress in her life would mean that their marriage would improve. He couldn't think of any other way to change things, his attention was already stretched thin and he had to put Ewing Oil first, that's just the way things were and the way they had always been; she had known what she was getting into when she agreed to marry him. She couldn't claim ignorance of reality, she had dated him and wanted to marry him knowing full well that he was the vice president of a multimillion dollar company and that he had a long list of responsibilities; he couldn't be held responsible for her disillusionment with marriage. The things that he could change he would try and make an effort with, he would try to be more attentive and present in her life, but he couldn't commit to anything and she had to understand that.

He understood that part of her problem was the need for a child, but that was something that neither of them could control at present. A son was something he wanted and needed, but for him personally, it wasn't an urgent requirement, there was plenty of time before an heir was needed and he didn't see the point in worrying about it when it didn't happen immediately. He thought that she was worrying unnecessarily about the whole thing, she was a Ewing because she was his wife, she just needed to believe that; the lack of a son wasn't something that anyone was holding against her, they'd only been married for a year after all. He was sure that it would happen eventually; medically she had been assured that everything was fine and she just had to wait for everything to fall into place, for JR that was enough of a confirmation and he didn't see the point in worrying about something that couldn't be manipulated or influenced by power or money. What he needed when she returned home was for his wife to have a complete change in attitude, he needed her to be an optimist instead of a pessimist, he needed her to understand that she didn't have to be so concerned about everything, especially the things that she couldn't control. The things that would make their relationship good were things that she actually had the ability to change; her listening to him and supporting him and meaning it was the biggest thing she could do, he didn't need her to worry about how to fix his problems, he just needed her to be there to listen and agree with him. He had a part in improving their relationship too though and he intended on doing just that, he would only tell her things that she needed to know and no more, all she had to do was play her role correctly and he would deal with everything else. He didn't need her to fix his problems, but he sure as hell didn't need her to be so weighed down with his issues that she became a problem herself. It really wasn't that difficult, but he hoped that she understood what he expected from her and what he didn't expect from her and she did just that, no more and no less.

To be continued…


	153. Change

**Dallas, Texas**

"How was work?" Sue Ellen looked through her jewellery box as JR selected a new shirt and tie for dinner, it had been a month since she returned to Dallas and things seemed to be better between them, she was less stressed and worried about things, because JR seemed to be less worried about things, and when JR was happy, she was happy. "Fine darlin', just fine. We signed some contracts and looked into a few new fields; things are going well", he smiled at her and gave her a basic overview of his day. As part of their new routine, he had taken to omitting anything negative from their conversations; he didn't want her to concern herself with his problems and not telling her the problems in the first place seemed like the easiest way to do that. It was working, Sue Ellen felt happier and freer than she had in months, she didn't know exactly what JR was doing, but she felt less worried when she thought about him now, she didn't feel like she needed to be concerned about every little thing that he was involved in because he didn't seem to be worried. She knew JR, if he wasn't worried about something then it meant that he had everything under control and that meant that she was free to spend less of her own time and energy thinking about his problems and more time focusing on herself and her own happiness. Things even seemed to be better in her relationship with Jock and Miss Ellie; she assumed that JR must have said something to them because they hadn't once mentioned the Ewing heir since she returned home and Miss Ellie had even steered a few of their private conversations toward Sue Ellen focusing on her own happiness. She finally felt good again; JR's job was secure, Ewing Oil was still successful and she didn't feel so much pressure on her to be the perfect wife or provide a Ewing heir immediately anymore, it was ok for her to do things just because she wanted to and she knew that now. "Good", she walked over to JR and finished tying his tie for him, something she enjoyed doing for no real reason other than being close to him. JR didn't really need her to do anything for him, he was a fully capable grown man, but he couldn't deny that he enjoyed the satisfaction she seemed to gain from serving him; if little things like that made her happy, then he wouldn't be the one to tell her to stop.

"JR", Jock gave him a look and nodded toward the downstairs office, they had a few things to discuss after dinner, but it was family time now and business could wait, at least for a few hours. Sue Ellen noted the way that Jock looked at JR, but she didn't think anything of it, they had work discussions after dinner regularly and JR had told her that everything at Ewing Oil was fine, so she believed him, she was really trying to not worry unnecessarily anymore. "…that sounds nice, when is it?" Miss Ellie spoke to her granddaughter and Sue Ellen turned her attention to their conversation, listening as she tried to gauge what they were speaking about, "…it's next Friday…" Sue Ellen listened as Lucy described what she assumed to be a school dance, though she wasn't completely sure since she had missed the beginning of the conversation. "It sounds lovely; have you decided what you'll wear?" Miss Ellie engaged her granddaughter in conversation, the men seemed to be discussing football again and she'd rather listen to Lucy talk about an elementary school dance than listen to Jock and JR discuss the Cowboys strengths and weaknesses. Sue Ellen continued to listen to their conversation, still not speaking though, she didn't want to disrupt or intrude on their private moment; she was content to just listen and speak only when spoken to, it was what she had been taught to do her whole life. "No, but I still have a week, I'm sure that I'll be able to find something this weekend, Cindy's sister even offered to take us shopping with her, she's home from college now", Sue Ellen continued to listen, surprised that Lucy hadn't come to her and asked her to take her shopping, she usually valued her fashion advice. Miss Ellie listened, "Cindy? Do we know her parents, or her grandparents?" she was surprised, she'd never heard of this girl and she thought she knew all of Lucy's friends; there was something about the situation that gave her a strange feeling. Lucy sensed the apprehension in Miss Ellie's voice, "I'm not sure, her father owns a film company", she replied nervously, hoping that she didn't push her for more information, she was fairly sure that Cindy's parents didn't socialise with the same crowd that Jock and Miss Ellie did. Cindy was the 'cool girl' in school, and it was a privilege for Lucy to even be invited to hang out with her, she'd look like a loser if she had to explain that her grandma said she couldn't go because she didn't know her parents. "Oh, I don't think we know anyone in that industry", she made a comment that didn't really relate to the question at hand and Lucy suppressed a sigh, all she needed was a simple yes, she didn't want to discuss it, "please grandma", they weren't negotiating a business deal, it didn't really matter where her friends parents made their money. "Well we really shouldn't discriminate just because someone doesn't work in the oil industry, so I suppose you can go", truthfully she would rather have just said no, but she didn't have the heart to tell Lucy that she couldn't go. She couldn't think of a really good reason to and she sensed that there was something more to the situation than a simple shopping trip. Lucy was at an age where she was beginning to really care about what her peers thought about her, and she didn't want to be the one to ruin that for her. Sue Ellen listened to the conversation and was about to ask Lucy about the dance when Teresa appeared in the doorway and informed Miss Ellie that dinner was ready; she would have to wait until later to approach the subject.

After dinner, JR and Jock moved to the downstairs office to talk business while Lucy made her way upstairs to her room; Sue Ellen spoke to Miss Ellie for a little while before excusing herself and going to find Lucy, she wanted to offer her friendship and make sure that Lucy wasn't upset with her. It had really surprised her when Lucy had pushed so hard to go shopping with her friend and her sister rather than ask her for her help, she used to always ask her for her opinion and approval and she didn't like that Lucy seemed to be moving on. She liked feeling special and she enjoyed that Lucy would constantly remind people that she was a former Miss Texas; she didn't want to think that that was ending and Lucy was over her; Lucy was one of the last people to really appreciate her achievements, everyone else had all but forgotten her reign as queen of the state now. "Come in", Lucy responded to Sue Ellen's knocking; entering the room, Sue Ellen suddenly felt awkward, she didn't know what to say to her, she wasn't going to just come out and ask Lucy whether she was upset with her. "I was just wondering whether you needed my help choosing your outfit for school tomorrow? You know I'm always here to help", she felt somewhat maternally attached to Lucy and she didn't like the idea that her 'daughter' was rejecting her for someone else. "Actually, I was just reading a magazine, but if you want to help me then we can do that", Lucy smiled and accepted her aunts help, she didn't have anything against Sue Ellen, she just didn't feel the same need for her help that she had in the past, she actually enjoyed being a little bit more independent now. Sue Ellen sensed that Lucy seemed to be less enthusiastic about it than she had been in the past, but she didn't say anything to her, it wasn't as if Lucy had turned down her offer. She didn't want to start inventing problems that didn't exist, she was probably just being silly and overthinking things, turning them into more than they actually were, she had a habit of doing that and this was probably just another one of those situations.

To be continued…


	154. Midland

**Dallas, Texas**

"Telephone for you Mrs Ewing", Maria, Mavis Anderson's maid, approached Miss Ellie as she stood by the refreshment table after the DOA meeting, nodding, Miss Ellie excused herself and walked inside. Across the patio, Sue Ellen stood talking to Linda Bradley and a few other ladies, she noticed Maria speaking to Miss Ellie and the nosy part of her was curious as to who would be calling her mother-in-law at this time of day anywhere other than Southfork. For a moment she was worried, the majority of the people she was friends with were here in person, so that meant that the call was serious; instead of instantly worrying though, she tried to think rationally, if there was a problem then Miss Ellie would tell her, if not, she needed to calm down and stop being so fearful. "What do you think Sue Ellen?" she snapped back into reality as she heard her name mentioned, "I'm sorry?..." she blushed as she realised that she didn't have a clue what question was being asked of her, "the new menu at the Oil Baron's Club, worth the hype? Or is it just more of the same?" Sue Ellen felt silly for missing the question, but immediately smiled and answered, presenting a confident façade to the other ladies. From the other side of the patio, Marilee Stone stood observing JR's perfect little wife, smirking as she noticed the slight red flush on her face; Sue Ellen tried so hard to always appear calm and collected, but underneath it all Marilee was sure that she was a bundle of nerves. She would never understand why a man like JR Ewing would continue to be attracted to a boring girl like Sue Ellen; she was the definition of vanilla. No, there was one reason and one reason only why they were married, JR needed a wife and an heir and Sue Ellen was just charming enough to fit the part without causing any problems for the Ewing family. Taking a sip of her iced tea, she thought about her own marriage, she was very happy with Seth, his job at her father's company kept him busy, so when he was home he was the doting husband she wanted, but when he wasn't home, he pretty much left her alone to do whatever she pleased. Their arrangement suited her just fine, she had never enjoyed being solely attached to one man and she wasn't too concerned about what her husband did either, as long as she was kept in the lifestyle she had grown up with. She'd really only gotten married because it was expected of a lady in her social situation, but she had been lucky enough to find a husband who didn't expect too much of her and accepted who she was. As long as their relationship looked good in public, he didn't particularly care what she did with her time and she didn't particularly care what he did with his, but they also enjoyed each other's company on the rare occasions when they were alone; their marriage really was the best of both worlds.

"Do any of your husbands ever order anything other than steak anyway?" Sue Ellen participated in the conversation, though only half of her attention was really focused on the other women; she was still watching the door to the house, surprised, and a little worried that Miss Ellie had been inside for so long. "Excuse me", she quietly stepped away from the conversation and walked toward the house under the guise of 'freshening up' as her curiosity got the better of her. Although she had an excuse, she didn't need to use it, walking into the house she was greeted by Miss Ellie, "oh good Sue Ellen, I was just coming to find you. That was Julie, Jock's secretary, there's a problem at one of the oil fields in Midland, he and JR are there now but the problem doesn't look like it's going to be as easy to fix as they expected, so they're probably going to have to stay the night". Sue Ellen stayed stoic as Miss Ellie explained the situation, she didn't like when JR was away, but it was inevitable and she wasn't going to make a fuss about it. "Oh, I hope everything's all right", she smiled and exchanged a few more words with Miss Ellie before excusing herself in search of a bathroom, she needed to validate her excuse for walking into the house and truthfully, she needed a moment alone to get her emotions in check. Although she knew that JR was an experienced oilman and things like this were routine, she still worried about his safety, there was a reason why the men who worked on the oil fields were paid so much, it was a dangerous job and she couldn't help but worry about her husband, it was just in her nature to worry. After a few minutes alone in the bathroom, she felt much better; she remembered what JR and Dr Danvers had told her, she shouldn't concern herself with things that were out of her control, it wasn't good for her or anyone else. Making her way outside again, she pushed the fears out of her mind, she couldn't do anything about the situation in Midland, but she could control the way she acted in reaction, so instead of worrying herself sick, she presented a confident front to the world, slowly internalising some of that confidence as she socialised with the other women.

**Midland, Texas**

"…kids with firecrackers?" JR looked at the sheriff in disbelief, "what am I paying the security for!?" he shot the foreman a dirty look, the situation could have been easily avoided if the people he paid to oversee the site had just done their jobs right. "I…" the foreman stuttered as he noticed the way JR was looking at him, he didn't really have a good explanation and he knew that JR Ewing didn't mess around, he wasn't going to get away with this, even if it was an honest oversight in practice. JR sat and watched the man as he waited for an answer; as a courtesy he would do his best to listen to the explanations offered, but Ewing Oil had just lost millions of dollars' worth of crude oil because of the lax security at the site and bad risk management. Someone had to be held responsible, it wasn't something he could just let slide, he had a business to run and he couldn't go around pardoning costly mistakes, especially simple ones. It would be dangerous for him to take anything less than a serious approach to the way he dealt with the issue; he couldn't set a precedent for acceptance of careless work.

Jock made conversation with some of the workers and watched as the fire crews worked to extinguish the blaze. JR was inside the office with the sheriff and the foreman and he was well capable of dealing with that situation, so Jock's job was something different, he made sure to pose enough leading questions to the crew to give him a better idea of what exactly what had happened and whether anyone in particular seemed to be at fault. Later, when they had a chance to speak to each other alone, they would compare notes and determine what to do about the whole situation in the aftermath. They'd worked out their system years ago, at first JR had been the one outside with the workers, but it soon became apparent that his real strength lay in one-on-one business talk and he could better assist Ewing Oil if he was the one dealing with the officials while Jock dealt with the workers. It worked well for them and Jock had no doubt that although they had just lost millions of dollars' worth of stock, they weren't out yet; their insurance would compensate them for their losses and the field seemed to be salvageable. They'd been lucky this time, it wasn't a good situation, but it could have been a hell of a lot worse, and for that he was thankful.

To be continued…


	155. Disagreement

**Midland, Texas**

"…a couple more days probably; we still have a few things that need to be dealt with here, the sorts of things that are easier to control in person than from the office", Jock made a quick phone call to his wife to inform her of their plans. He and JR hadn't expected to have to stay in Midland for more than a day, but they'd found that their orders were taken more seriously when they were there watching as opposed to making phone calls from Dallas. He knew his wife well enough to know that although she knew not to worry too much about him, after a few days of little communication, she would be concerned and start to think the worst; it was a fairly natural reaction to have, especially when the updates she did receive came from through Julie, not him personally. They'd been married for over thirty years and he knew his wife well, a quick phone call to inform her of the situation was enough to calm and reassure her; she didn't need to know the details and she didn't ask, she knew not to pry, so she didn't, it was a system that they both understood and respected. "Junior", he noticed JR sitting in the corner of one of the office trailers at the drill site, he was reading a stack of papers, completely engrossed in whatever was written on them. He sighed as he walked over to JR, he was a damn good oilman, but as a husband, he seemed to lack empathy or common sense; from his conversation with Miss Ellie, it appeared that Sue Ellen would've been in the dark about the whole trip if it hadn't been for Julie's updates. Apparently, JR hadn't even called his secretary to tell her to call his wife to update her on the situation or inform her of his safety; it wasn't a necessity, but it was a nice courtesy. JR looked up and nodded to acknowledge his father, "I just spoke to your mama, she said everything's fine back home and she'd pass on the message to your wife that we're safe. However, I think Sue Ellen would probably prefer to hear the news from you personally, you know how women are", he gave JR a look as he spoke, his suggestion wasn't optional. "I will, after I finish reading over these fire reports", JR acknowledged Jock's comments but didn't think too much of them, if his mother already knew, she would surely pass on the information to Sue Ellen, it wasn't necessary for him to call her immediately. Besides, she would probably start questioning him if he called her, he didn't have time for that right now and she didn't need to know all the details, she had a problem with overanalysing things. Jock looked at his eldest son as he brushed off his comment, for a man who'd had so many women in his life, he sure didn't understand them very well; a quick phone call took very little effort for a man to make but meant everything to a woman. It was no wonder Sue Ellen had had a problem with overanalysing and worrying about everything, it appeared that she always found out about things at the very last minute and probably had much too much time to think and speculate about things without any facts, something a little communication from her husband could have prevented. "Junior", Jock spoke again and JR took notice, standing up and making his way over to the office phone; his father was confusing sometimes, he sent mixed messages, first Ewing Oil was the most important thing, but apparently now it was his wife that had to take priority. He didn't know what to think, but he didn't argue, making the phone call was easier than facing the wrath of Jock Ewing.

**Dallas, Texas**

"Lucy, you'd better change if you want to be ready in time", Sue Ellen knocked on Lucy's bedroom door and entered, making her comment as she stood in the doorway before turning to walk away. She'd only intend on passing on the message, not staying and chatting, Lucy hadn't actually asked her for her help and she didn't want to intrude by hovering around annoyingly. Lucy turned around from where she was sitting at her bedroom vanity, looking at Sue Ellen as if she were speaking in tongues, "I'm ready". Sue Ellen looked at her niece and subconsciously raised an eyebrow, "you're not wearing a dress?" she was surprised, her red bellbottom jeans and yellow top seemed more casual than dressy, she could only imagine the way her own mother would have reacted if she or Kristin had tried to claim that as a dance appropriate outfit. Lucy rolled her eyes, Sue Ellen was supposed to be cool, but for some reason she was acting strangely, "no", she shook her head, "everyone's wearing jeans". Sue Ellen paused as she gathered her thoughts, thinking carefully about how to phrase an opposition to Lucy's outfit, it just didn't seem appropriate and she felt responsible for making sure that Lucy didn't embarrass herself or the Ewing family. She hadn't realised how much of an impact her mother had had on her opinions, but it had to have been significant, she couldn't let Lucy go out dressed like that, it wasn't right. "Are you sure you don't want to dress up a little more? The yearbook photographer will be there", she didn't want to push too hard, but she also firmly believed that casual clothing had no place at a dance. "No", Lucy was getting frustrated now, she didn't understand why Sue Ellen was making such a big deal about it, she was wearing a new outfit, it just happened to be pants and not a skirt, but it was still nice, it wasn't the end of the world. Truthfully, she had more reason than just liking her clothes, she couldn't change, not now, it would seem so uncool; last weekend, she and Cindy had gone shopping and purchased coordinating outfits, she was finally in with the coolest girl in school and she wouldn't do anything to mess up that friendship. Sue Ellen looked around the room awkwardly, she didn't feel comfortable forcing Lucy to change clothes and it didn't seem like she was going to make that decision herself, so she decided to do the next best thing, "all right, well if you're sure. I'm just down the hall if you need me", she smiled and backed out of the room, closing the door behind her. Her initial instinct was to just let it go and allow Lucy to make her own decisions, but the Ewing voice inside her told her to do something about it; she didn't want to speak out of place, but that didn't mean that she couldn't drop hints to get her point across.

"Good afternoon Miss Ellie", she walked into the kitchen as her mother-in-law helped Teresa prepare the dinner, Miss Ellie greeted Sue Ellen and they began to talk, Miss Ellie informing her that Jock had called and that everything was ok, but he and JR would be away for a few more days; that information was news to Sue Ellen. JR and Jock had been away for three days and JR hadn't called her once, everything she knew about their trip was because Miss Ellie had told her. She didn't understand JR sometimes, he seemed to think that by not calling to tell her what was going on that he would somehow spare her from worrying, but instead it was the opposite, she would constantly worry when she hadn't heard from him. She would've preferred that he just called and told her what was happening, no matter whether it was positive or negative, at least then she would have real facts to base her thoughts on instead of using her imagination to think of the worst possible situations. He couldn't shield her from real life forever and she wished that he would understand that; she was trying her best to not overreact to things that she couldn't change, but he had to start being more open and honest with her for it to really work. The two women chatted for a while longer, talking about a number of different things before Sue Ellen found the perfect time to make a comment about Lucy's school dance, prompting Miss Ellie to go upstairs to pay her granddaughter a visit before she left. It was a perfect manipulation, even if Lucy accused her of interfering, she had no way of proving it; as far as Miss Ellie was concerned, Sue Ellen hadn't once mentioned trying to change her or that she thought she wasn't dressed appropriately; she had simply mentioned the dance, that's all. As she walked out of the kitchen, the phone rang and she answered, her heart speeding up as she realised that it was JR, finally.

To be continued…


	156. Home Again

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR!" Sue Ellen walked quickly from the pool to the driveway as she heard his car arriving at Southfork, she was surprised, but thrilled that he was home, "hello darlin'", JR casually greeted his wife, kissing her on the cheek as he motioned her to walk with him into the house. He didn't have quite the same level of emotion that she did and he couldn't bring himself to fake it just for her, it would only lead her to believe that her concerns had been valid, but they weren't; they'd been perfectly safe the whole time they were in Midland and he didn't see any reason to overhype it. Sue Ellen was surprised and a little offended that he didn't seem very excited to see her, but she put it down to tiredness and possibly stress, he'd been working hard for the past few days and that was probably all catching up to him now that he was home. Entering the bedroom, Sue Ellen launched into nervous chatter, she was still a little unnerved by the whole thing, there were so many things that could have gone wrong, oil was a dangerous business, "I was so worried, especially when you didn't call. I thought you'd been hurt, or…" JR turned and looked at his wife, "shh… everything was fine, I told you. There was a fire on the first day, but we weren't the ones fighting it and it was mostly extinguished by the time we got there. The reason we were there for so long was more administration than anything else. We had to make sure that everything was done per instructions and the workers seem to work better when someone in authority is standing and watching, inspecting and making sure that it's up to code. I promise, we weren't in any real danger". He unintentionally told her more than he'd planned to, but he was beginning to realise that that was probably exactly what she needed to hear from him. His original plan to tell her nothing in an attempt to shield her from bad news obviously wasn't working in the way he intended it to, she seemed to worry about the unknown just as much if not more than she did about the facts.

"You…you're sure you weren't in danger?" she looked up at him with tears in her eyes; she hadn't realised that she'd done it again, but the lack of communication and her tendency to overthink things meant that she'd been holding in a lot of feelings. JR felt a rare emotion, he actually felt a little bit guilty, his father had told him to call his wife and he did eventually, but perhaps he could have avoided her worry if he had just openly communicated with her in the first place. She seemed to have a need for constant approval and reassurance and he'd gotten the method of dealing with her all wrong, perhaps he needed to rethink the way he talked to her, she was a lot different to him and he tended to forget that sometimes, assuming that everyone saw things the way he did. "Sue Ellen, look at me. I am the vice president of Ewing Oil and daddy is the president, I promise you, we pay people a lot of money so that we don't have to personally deal with problems like that. However, it is our company, we have to make an appearance when there's a situation, it would be terrible publicity if we avoided going out there and left everyone else to deal with it. We really were just there to assess the situation and make sure that everything got back on track after the fire; there was no danger, I was perfectly safe the whole time", he looked her in the eye and hoped that she knew he was telling the truth, he needed her to understand and accept his word. Reassurance and dealing with a lot of emotion wasn't something that came naturally to him and he wasn't sure how much more he could say after those comments, he needed her to be an adult and realise that sometimes his job led him toward dangerous situations, but that was just how his job was and he couldn't change it. He did his best to delegate the dangerous work to other people, but he had a responsibility to the company and their employees to make sure that everything was ok. Sue Ellen felt better as he reassured her, it was the kind of thing she'd needed to hear days ago but hadn't heard from him, so her mind had gone to the worst place, "I'm glad you're home safely. I love you JR", she looked him in the eye as she spoke; ultimately she worried because she loved him and she didn't want to lose him, and she wanted him to know that.

"JR, will you be home for dinner?" Jock knocked on JR's office door and entered, asking him the question though he already had a fair idea of what the answer was going to be. "Hm, well I've got a few more things to catch up on here and I don't think they can really wait, so I'm going to stay. I'll try to make it home in time for dinner if I can though". Jock nodded and didn't oppose JR's decision, usually he would have insisted that JR be home for family dinner, but their four-day absence from the office meant that the paperwork had been piling up and a late night was probably necessary. It was just something that came with the job and he appreciated JR's willingness to do whatever was necessary for Ewing Oil's success. As president of the company, Jock was able to assign a lot of the paperwork and other administration duties to his employees and sometimes that meant that JR ended up with a lot of reading and writing to do. It was good for JR to do that work though, he needed to learn and know everything in preparation for the day when he took over the role of president of Ewing Oil; only then would he be able to assign more of the duties he disliked to other people. Jock nodded, said goodbye and left the office and JR went back to working. JR was surprised when a few minutes later there was a knock at his office door, he'd assumed that he was the only person left in the office; "do you need any help with anything?" Julie stood in the doorway and JR grinned, he knew her game, but she was offering to help and that meant anything, he could look and not touch, he was capable of that, "sure, have a seat".

To be continued…


	157. Sleep

**Dallas, Texas**

1.37am, Sue Ellen squinted at the clock as she awoke to the sound of water running and a light under the bathroom door. Was JR just getting home now? That just wasn't right; Jock was the president of Ewing Oil, surely he had some responsibility in running the company and could have stayed behind to help JR with his work instead of leaving him to do everything himself and come home exhausted. Arriving home after midnight was not good for JR's wellbeing or their marriage. The bathroom door was closed, so she thought it best not to intrude, but she lay awake listening as he brushed his teeth, waiting for him to finally come to bed. It was only a Tuesday night, well technically Wednesday morning, he still had three more days of work before the weekend and he needed to sleep now or else he'd be exhausted for the rest of the day. JR looked at his reflection as he finished brushing his teeth, in some ways he was a very happy man, he'd needed a woman's attention after the stressful week he'd had and he'd gotten it; but in other ways he was a guilty man and he had no right to feel happy right now. In the next room was his wife, the woman he should have come home to as soon as he was finished work, she put so much effort into pleasing him and would never say no to anything he requested of her, but instead of doing that, he'd settled for a woman he didn't love and who really was second best. Despite knowing her game from the beginning and telling himself that it wasn't fair to Sue Ellen, he had still allowed himself to fall into Julie's trap, and for that, he did feel a little bad. He'd made a mental commitment to himself a long time ago about other women, sometimes they were necessary, but if he absolutely had to then it really should be someone he had no personal or emotional connection to, it had to be just sex, nothing more. With Julie though, it was more, even when he tried to convince himself and her that it wasn't; they had a history and a mutual understanding of each other, Julie was the one woman he'd really trained to please him in every way, without holding back his innermost desires. He could trust her to do whatever he asked, or didn't ask, and he didn't have to censor his requests or be gentle with her because of her delicate, ladylike disposition; she was everything that Sue Ellen wasn't in the most intimate sense, but that didn't mean that he wanted anything more with her. It was a complicated issue, he loved Sue Ellen and he would never want anyone else for his wife, but sometimes he needed things that she couldn't give him and that Julie was very capable of and freely willing to give. The problem was, he also had a personal, caring relationship with Julie; they had an understanding of the way the other was and she helped him in ways that Sue Ellen didn't or couldn't. Julie had her uses, but it really wasn't fair to Sue Ellen to have anything more than a business relationship with her. It didn't help the situation that Julie was already a sore spot for Sue Ellen; she'd had to come to terms with the intimacy of their relationship once before and he didn't want her to have to deal with that again. When he and Sue Ellen were dating, she'd found out just how close the president's secretary and the vice president really were, but he'd sworn that they were over after she found out about them and for a long while he'd meant it; it would devastate her to find out that they'd resumed that relationship once again. As much as he needed other women, he didn't want to deliberately hurt his wife and he needed to decide what to do next; the way he'd felt earlier in the evening was wonderful, but the way he felt right now was not.

He looked at himself in the mirror once more and sighed to himself before turning and switching the light off, walking back into the bedroom and slipping into bed next to his wife. "You're home. How was work?" Sue Ellen mumbled sleepily as she felt him finally getting into bed; JR's stomach flipped as he heard her speak, he hadn't realised that she was awake and he felt even worse now; she'd probably been waiting up for him, worrying about him all evening, all while he was at the office with Julie, not working at all. "Busy, but it's nothing for you to worry about. I'm sorry I woke you, go back to sleep darlin'", he couldn't discuss his work with her, it wasn't good for her mental health, and he certainly didn't want to discuss the rest of his night with her, he was already having guilty thoughts. In the past, it hadn't really bothered him to have her and occasionally have other women too, but things were different now, she worried so much about him and it would ruin her to have more things to worry about, more things to think about and compare herself to. He knew that if she found out what he'd done that she'd blame herself and ask what was wrong with her; she'd take it as a personal failure when the simple truth was that it wasn't her fault at all, he just wasn't cut out for monogamy and sometimes he needed more than what she could provide him. "Ok, I love you", she mumbled as she drifted in and out of sleep and JR's stomach felt worse now than it did earlier, she was so devoted to him and he just couldn't give her the same attention. The way he felt was wrong, he couldn't do this to her, at least not with Julie, "I love you too Sue Ellen", he whispered, though he was sure that she was already asleep again. Silently, he made a new vow to himself, he would try harder to be the husband everyone expected him to be, and if the need did arise for other women, then it would be completely meaningless sex and nothing more; Julie was off-limits from now on.

To be continued…


	158. Chairwoman

**Dallas, Texas**

"Jordan, Andy", JR nodded and shook the two men's hands as they entered Jock's office for the meeting; they were set to sign a deal between their three companies today, but he couldn't celebrate until the paperwork was actually signed, there was always something that could go wrong in business. "Julie", Jock spoke into the intercom and asked her to come in and join the meeting; he needed her to take the minutes so that they had a written record of everything that happened prior to the contracts being signed. As the meeting began, JR silently cursed his father for inviting Julie into the meeting, she hadn't stopped looking at him the whole time they'd been seated, it was distracting and was beginning to get rather annoying; she was too much like him for her own good, she was persistent. It had been over a week since he'd slipped and slept with her and he'd been trying hard to avoid a repeat of that situation, even going as far as to tell her that it couldn't and wouldn't ever happen again, but she didn't make it easy, she almost saw his words as a challenge, not a warning. Julie watched JR as she took notes during the meeting, smiling to herself as the men negotiated with each other; she would have JR again, even if he tried to claim that they were over. The fact that he'd had her more than once after he'd married Sue Ellen confirmed to her that she had been right all along; she had always known that there was no way he was happy with Sue Ellen and his actions had proven her point. JR Ewing was not a one-woman man, especially not when that one-woman was boring Sue Ellen, and if he was going to stray outside his marriage then she would be there waiting and wanting; it was a given that it would happen eventually, it was really just a matter of timing, and she had nothing but time. "Well gentlemen, how about a drink to celebrate?" Jock smiled as they finished signing the papers; the deal would be good for everyone involved, it was big, bigger than anything Ewing Oil could go in on by themselves, but partnering with some of the cartel members meant that they could mutually expand their companies; things were beginning to look up again. "Julie", he called her name and looked at her, motioning her to make drinks for everyone; of course, being the good secretary she was, she'd already laid out the glasses in advance, she knew how these meetings usually ended and was prepared.

"I nominate Sue Ellen", Miss Ellie listened to the DOA ladies as they spoke, discussing their latest charity fundraiser, a big sister program for underprivileged teenagers in Braddock. She hoped that by nominating Sue Ellen for the job of chairwoman for the committee overseeing the project that it would give her daughter-in-law something of her own to focus on, something that she could be proud of because she made it happen, not because JR had struck oil or the DOA as a whole had done something good. It was obvious to anyone who paid even the slightest bit of attention to her that Sue Ellen still didn't really have an identity of her own, she was lost in the shuffle of life as a Ewing wife, something Miss Ellie would really like to see change if it was possible, she wanted Sue Ellen to be happy. She wasn't sure whether Sue Ellen had ever really had had her own identity; she had always been Patricia's daughter, a pageant queen, model, JR Ewing's girlfriend and then wife, but all of those were just titles, roles that she played to please others, not really for herself. From observing Sue Ellen and Lucy interacting, it appeared that she enjoyed acting maternally and as a friend, but Lucy was growing up, she was asserting her independence more and more each day and the loss of closeness was beginning to affect Sue Ellen, she was getting lost again, unsure of her place in the world. The big sister program was only temporary, just for the upcoming summer, but it would keep her busy and give her something positive to focus on; Sue Ellen needed her own successes and this sounded perfect; additionally, she was one of the youngest ladies in the DOA, she probably knew modern teenagers better than the rest of the members. "I second the nomination", Mavis Anderson watched Ellie as she looked at Sue Ellen, she didn't know the depths of the issue, but she knew that if Ellie was nominating her daughter-in-law for the role then there had to be a good reason for it and she would help her make it a reality. Sue Ellen listened as Linda Bradley spoke about underprivileged teenagers in Braddock and the big sister program that the DOA was running over the summer, it sounded interesting and enjoyable and she was glad that she was on this committee and not the homeless shelter committee. It surprised her when Miss Ellie nominated her as chairwoman for the committee, but instead of shyly shrinking down, she was actually rather flattered and pleased, accepting the nomination gracefully and thanking everyone when she was voted into the role. She hadn't had much of a free social life when she was a teenager, her mother had controlled almost every aspect of her life, leaving little time for her to choose to do what she wanted, and she was determined to give the girls in the program better lives and experiences than what she had had. As she thought about it, she felt a little bad for even comparing herself to the girls they would be helping, they were genuinely underprivileged, her mother had just been controlling, but she had always made sure she had everything she needed to succeed; that didn't matter now though, she was determined to do the best job she could.

"Bobby!" Jock was genuinely surprised as his youngest son appeared in the doorway of his office; he hadn't expected him back until tomorrow afternoon, so he either had very good news, or very bad news. "Daddy!" Bobby grinned as he greeted his father, he'd returned home from San Angelo after meeting with a few refinery owners to negotiate doing business with Ewing Oil in the wake of their new deal with the cartel, the response he'd gotten down there had been overwhelmingly positive and he was sure his father would want to know ASAP. Jock listened as Bobby explained the details of his meetings, his grin growing as he realised that things were looking very good for Ewing Oil now; the overall industry was still in a bit of trouble, but Ewing Oil had still come out on top and for that he was very thankful. "So, Cattlemen's Club or Longhorn Bar?", Jock grinned at his youngest son, he was a real Ewing, a successful man in every aspect of his life, "go get JR, we're going to celebrate", he picked up his jacket and put it on as Bobby left his office; things were finally working out the way he had always planned.

To be continued…


	159. Summer

**Dallas, Texas**

"Sue Ellen!" JR grumbled as he pulled his pillow over his head to block out the noise, it was Saturday morning, there was no reason for her to be awake and moving around this early and he really needed her to be quiet, he was hungover and not in the mood to do anything other than go back to sleep. Sue Ellen rolled her eyes as she moved into the bathroom to finish getting ready; it wasn't her fault that JR had chosen last night to go out drinking with Bobby and Jock, not arriving home until just a couple of hours ago, and she wouldn't break her plans just because JR was hungover. It was the first day of Lucy's summer vacation and she'd promised her that they would go riding and then swim before breakfast; she'd been surprised when Lucy had asked her of her own free will, but she wasn't going to question it. Lucy distancing herself from her had hit Sue Ellen harder than she had expected it to, but she hoped that her wanting to spend time together now meant that their distance had only been temporary and she was ready to resume their former friendship; she'd grown somewhat maternally attached to Lucy and she wasn't ready for that to end. Her relationship with Lucy had always been what she wished she and Kristin had had growing up, a sisterly bond with the wisdom of age to fall back on; unfortunately Kristin had always been more mature than what was expected for her age and they'd never been very close. Patricia Shepard's parenting style was all about being the best, and that meant that her daughters were always in a competition with each other, it was something Kristin resented and Sue Ellen never really bothered to change, she always won anyway, she was the older sibling and her achievements were always more impressive than Kristin's. She had given up on having a close relationship with Kristin long ago, but Lucy was different, she had no mother or siblings at Southfork and she had always seemed very receptive to the idea of Sue Ellen joining the family, not only as JR's wife, but also as a friend and mother figure for her. It had been good for a few years, Lucy was just a little girl when she'd first met Sue Ellen and she had really needed someone like her in her life, but she was quickly growing up, she was already a preteen, and in just a few years she would be a teenager. Sue Ellen knew all too well how mothers and daughters fought and although she wasn't Lucy's mother, she still wasn't looking forward to their relationship changing for the worse, she always took everything personally and a rejection from her niece would hurt just as much as a rejection from a friend.

"Sue Ellen?" she exited the bathroom just as she heard the faint tapping on the bedroom door, "I'll be out in two minutes. You go to your room and I'll meet you there", she walked quickly to the door and hurried Lucy away from their bedroom, with the way JR was acting this morning Lucy would surely be in the firing line if she stuck around for much longer. "Uhhh", JR dramatically sighed as his niece knocked on the door and his wife spoke to her, everything was so loud this morning; perhaps he should have just stayed away from Southfork last night, it wasn't as if he hadn't had the option to, there had been plenty of women throwing themselves at he and Bobby. However, in an effort to try to be a good husband, he'd returned home to his wife at the end of the night, though it didn't appear his actions had done much good anyway, she was up and out of bed already and it was only just after six in the morning. He may as well have been gone for all she seemed to care. "JR, I promised Lucy I'd go riding and then swimming with her, but I've left you some pills and a glass of water for when you wake up", she pulled the pillow off his face to speak to him and as she looked at him her annoyance disappeared, quickly replaced by sympathy. He looked worn out and he'd made it clear that he felt terrible, she probably hadn't helped him by moving around the room so early in the morning either, "go back to sleep now, I love you", she kissed him on the forehead and left the room.

Returning from her horse ride and re-entering their bedroom to change into her bathing suit, Sue Ellen tried her hardest to be silent, JR had been grumpy earlier and it didn't matter whether she sympathised with his position or not, she really didn't feel like dealing with any more of his moodiness today. Stripping out of her jeans and shirt, she quickly changed into her bathing suit and cover-up before picking up her dirty clothes and throwing them into the laundry hamper. She stopped briefly to pick up JR's shirt that was lying on the floor where he'd missed the hamper last night, his aim wasn't the best when he was drunk; tossing it in on top of her clothes quickly, she didn't notice the smudged red mark on the collar and left the room without thinking anything more of it. An hour later, JR awoke to the sound of giggling and splashing outside their bedroom window, it seemed louder than it probably was in reality, but that didn't stop him from muttering a few expletives to himself and blaming his mood on everyone but him. His headache and sensitivity to sound was obviously Lucy's fault, she was being loud and inconsiderate; it had nothing to do with his excessive drinking last night. Opening his eyes, his mood lifted a little as he spotted the glass of water, two pills and the Bloody Mary that were sitting on his nightstand; he vaguely remembered Sue Ellen saying something about leaving him water and pills for his headache, but the Bloody Mary was a pleasant surprise. It was nice to know that Sue Ellen cared enough to at least attempt to look after him even when she wasn't there to tend to his needs; she was a better wife than he was husband, but he'd never openly admit it. To admit that he wasn't the best husband he could be would open the floodgates to questions about his failures and misbehaviours, something he did not want to discuss with anyone, especially not his wife. Deep down, he knew that he failed miserably at being monogamous and even keeping Sue Ellen in his list of top priorities was difficult sometimes, but he didn't want to be the one to open that conversation for discussion, those talks never led anywhere good. The truth of the matter was that he was the way he was and that probably wasn't going to change, so trying his best was as good as he could do, but he wasn't going to make more promises that he couldn't keep, and avoiding talking about their problems was easier than arguing. Taking the pills and swallowing his drinks, he got out of bed and showered before making his way downstairs; he had no real plans for the day, but if Sue Ellen would agree to stay with him and relax at Southfork, then he would be a happy man. Sometimes he just needed her to be close to him; he really did love her, his biggest problem was that he really just wasn't cut out for marriage and the responsibility that came with it. Truthfully, he enjoyed the life of a bachelor too much to completely let it go, but that didn't mean that he couldn't still want to be with Sue Ellen; it was a complicated situation, but not one he chose to dwell on often. "Morning mama", he stepped outside onto the patio and greeted his mother for breakfast, pushing his previous thoughts out of his mind for now.

To be continued…


	160. Oil

**Dallas, Texas**

"I'll talk to Jock about it, I know that we're not using all of our pastures, even when my daddy ran the ranch we never used all of our land at the same time. I'm sure there's a small piece free for us to use", Miss Ellie smiled at Sue Ellen as she led their committee meeting, encouraging her to continue. She had been pleasantly surprised by Sue Ellen's take-charge attitude since she had assumed the role of chair for the project and she wanted to see Sue Ellen continue to develop in that way, it was a nice change from the meek, quiet girl that she usually was. It was apparent from her enthusiasm that Sue Ellen seemed to really enjoy being in control of something; she'd been involved in a lot of charity work when she was Miss Texas and in the past year as a member of the DOA, but this was her first time leading and she was enjoying the new experience. As she led the meeting, they discussed the activities they would provide for the underprivileged teenage girls and she delegated tasks and responsibilities to each of the women in the committee. "Ok, so let me run through this one last time before we finish. Each lady will be assigned one girl to spend time with one-on-one and will organize one group activity for the girls when they come together once a week. Miss Ellie and I will organize horse riding and a bonfire night at Southfork; Marilee will provide use of her yacht for a day trip to Lake Ray Hubbard; Linda will organize a VIP visit to Six Flags Over Texas; Evelyn will…" she listed each of the things assigned to the women before calling the meeting to a close. Sue Ellen smiled to herself as she and Miss Ellie left Mavis Anderson's house; it was nice to feel like she was needed and it was nice to be in control, two things that she lacked in her marriage as of late. It felt good to be responsible for bringing other people happiness, especially since it was a group that she somewhat identified with, it hadn't been that long since she was a teenager and she remembered how difficult it had been, she imagined that being underprivileged would have made it even more unpleasant.

"I'm sorry for interrupting Jock", Julie knocked and entered his office, disturbing the meeting between Jock, Bobby and JR though she hadn't really interrupted anything important, they were mostly just tossing ideas back and forth about the pros and cons of cold weather drilling, it wasn't urgent. "Yes Julie?" the three men turned as she entered the room and JR was surprised that she didn't even seem to be paying attention to him, it was unusual behaviour for her, usually she was always trying to get his attention in some way. "The foreman from Ewing Eight is on the line, he said he needed to speak to JR urgently", Jock's face paled as Julie spoke, Ewing Eight was one of the original wells, the foreman was experienced and well able to manage the drilling there on his own, if he was calling Dallas then something had to be wrong. JR's stomach flipped as Julie said that the foreman wanted to speak to him specifically, he'd made a few changes a while ago, changes he'd really only briefly run past his father; if something was wrong, then he would definitely be getting the blame. "Put it on speaker, I want to hear this", Jock commented gruffly to JR as he picked up the phone, "Joe?" JR cautiously answered the call, keenly aware that his father was now watching him with great suspicion. "Mr Ewing, you told me to call if there was any change; well, there has been. I think we're close, really close; if my estimations are correct, probably in the next few hours or so. I just thought you'd want to know", JR's face changed from a concerned expression to a gleeful grin as Joe spoke, he wasn't in trouble at all, things were fine, better than fine, they were excellent. He'd been right, there was more oil on the Ewing Eight land than they were currently drilling for, and his chance exploration had finally paid off; his father would have to be pleased with him, his decision was about to increase Ewing Oil's profits by millions. "Thanks Joe, I'll be there this afternoon", he grinned at his father as Jock and Bobby looked at him confusedly; "well? Spit it out boy", Jock was not pleased about being left in the dark on whatever JR was so happy about, he was the president, he should have known about everything Ewing Oil was involved in, but it appeared that he didn't. "Well daddy, if we leave now, we'll be able to witness Ewing Oil's newest well hitting oil. Come on, I'll explain everything in the helicopter", he was too excited to stop and chat, the thrill of seeing them strike oil again was energizing and he didn't want to miss it. "Fine, let's go", Jock was still a little angry about not being informed of the exploration work at Ewing Eight, but as JR gave a small explanation, his anger began to subside. JR was a good oilman, he knew how to make money and he did have Ewing Oil's best interests at heart, even if his methods of doing business were often uncustomary. He couldn't really blame JR for his actions now, they'd just made them a huge profit, something that was to be celebrated in any circumstance.

"Sue Ellen?" Miss Ellie knocked on the bedroom door and waited for her to answer, she had good news, but it probably wasn't what Sue Ellen wanted to hear. It hadn't been so obvious in the beginning, but it was becoming increasingly clear now that Sue Ellen had had a hard time adapting to life as a Ewing wife after the honeymoon period ended and it wasn't getting any easier for her. For Ellie, Jock's work and responsibilities were expected and accepted, she understood what he had to do and she'd adapted her lifestyle to accommodate his schedule; she was available to be with him whenever he wanted her to, but when he was busy, she still led a full life of her own, something Sue Ellen hadn't mastered yet. That was why she felt it was so important to include Sue Ellen in DOA activities and why she wished that she would be blessed with a child soon, those things would give her life meaning and purpose, they'd provide something constructive for her to focus her time and energy on instead of spending her time constantly thinking and worrying. "Hello Miss Ellie", Sue Ellen smiled warmly as she opened the bedroom door, she was in a good mood from the events of the DOA meeting earlier. "Please, come in", she opened the door wider and allowed her mother-in-law into the bedroom, her smile dropping as she noticed her facial expression. Miss Ellie was conflicted, on one hand, she was happy for Jock, she knew how much he loved seeing an oil well hit; but on the other hand, it was going to be a blow for Sue Ellen to hear that her husband was going to be away for the night again, an all too common occurrence lately. "Sue Ellen, I just got off the phone with Jock…" she felt awful as she explained the situation, especially when she realised that Sue Ellen was mentally questioning why JR hadn't called her himself. Her son had never really been very considerate of other people's feelings, it was just the way he was and everyone accepted it; unfortunately, he'd married Sue Ellen, a sensitive girl, they were just on two completely different levels with their communication needs, leading Sue Ellen to feel disappointment and upset on almost a daily basis. "Well, they struck oil, that's always good news", Sue Ellen put on her best fake smile and accepted the message; deep down, she knew that it wasn't good for her to bury her feelings, but it didn't seem appropriate to get upset in front of her mother-in-law, especially about something so silly. "Yes, I'm sure they'll be home tomorrow", Miss Ellie smiled and left Sue Ellen to finish getting ready for dinner; she was secretly concerned about the effect everything had on her, but she said nothing, she didn't think it was her place to interfere in JR and Sue Ellen's marriage, at least not yet anyway.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thanks everyone for continually reading the story and thank you for all the recent feedback and reviews. As for the storyline, I am listening to what you're all saying so don't worry if it's going a bit slowly right now, I tend to write a few chapters at once which means that the feedback only gets taken into account down the line rather than immediately.**


	161. Big Sister, Little Sister

**Dallas, Texas**

"We could go shopping, or to the theatre, or the spa, or for afternoon tea at the Adolphus. Whatever you'd like to do, this is all about you", Sue Ellen smiled at her 'little sister' Mary as she suggested activities for their day; she wanted the girl to like her, so she gave her the option to do whatever she wanted if none of the activities she suggested sounded appealing. It was obvious from her appearance and general manner that she was from a less wealthy family; she was polite in a very basic way, without the social niceties or etiquette that Patricia had taught her daughters to practice, her clothes were old and casual, her brown hair lacked the touch of a good stylist and she wore little makeup. Despite her appearance and demeanour being less than acceptable for a proper young lady, Sue Ellen saw her as a challenge rather than a lost cause; she was a pretty, relatively polite girl and with Sue Ellen's mentoring and the Ewing money behind her, she had a lot of potential. Putting her 'little sister' thought charm school wasn't exactly the point of the charitable program, they were just supposed to bring a little happiness to girls who didn't have much more than their basic needs met in everyday life, but Sue Ellen saw their arrangement as an opportunity for self-improvement as well as personal enjoyment. Although Sue Ellen liked to pretend that she was her own person and had her own opinions, it was obvious that her mother had greatly influenced the way she saw things and what she believed; she still equated being a proper young lady to being happy, even though it hadn't exactly brought her total happiness in her own life.

Sue Ellen watched Mary as she scrunched her face at the list of suggested activities; that was something they'd have to work on, it was rather rude to make her negative feelings so obvious to a conversational partner; she would need to learn how to control her body language if she wanted to succeed in life. "Those all sound nice, but I don't think they're really me", Mary gave Sue Ellen a shy smile as she replied, unsure of what to think of the wealthy, former Miss Texas, she seemed nice, but they were polar opposites. Sue Ellen smiled at Mary as she replied, at least she was a little bit more polite in spoken language, that was a start. Truthfully, Mary's words hurt a little, but she didn't let it show on her face; charity wasn't supposed to be about her, it was about bringing happiness to others. It did confuse her a bit though, of course Mary was allowed to want to do something different, they were just in the ideas stage right now, nothing was concrete; the problem was, Sue Ellen had really thought that her suggestions sounded fun. The activities she had listed were things she enjoyed herself, she knew Lucy and Kristin enjoyed them as well as the other ladies she socialised with, and she assumed that any other girl would too, but it appeared that she had been wrong and now she didn't know what they were supposed to do. "Well, how about we go and get a cup of coffee, or tea, or cocoa, whatever you'd prefer, and we'll sit down, talk and get to know each other", Sue Ellen smiled at the young girl, she seemed a little shy and she probably just needed a bit of time to open up and reveal her personality. She hadn't given up hope of success yet; it would be easier to find an activity to do together when they actually knew each other on a more personal level.

Returning home just in time to get ready for dinner, Sue Ellen wasn't entirely surprised to see that JR's car wasn't parked in the driveway, it had become the norm for JR to arrive home mere minutes before dinner was served, or sometimes not at all, choosing, or being forced to work late instead. For all the talk about cocktails and dinner being family time, Jock didn't seem to be too bothered by JR's lateness or total absences; it was something he had control over if he really wanted to change it, but he never did. Of course, he was the president of Ewing Oil and he was free to run the company in whatever way he saw fit, but to Sue Ellen, it didn't seem very fair that JR was left with so much responsibility and barely any free time while Jock got to enjoy his life and do whatever he wanted with his time. Even when JR did come home on time, he was often tired and stressed, making him less than pleasant company; it wasn't good for his personal wellbeing or their marriage. With his moods being so unpredictable, his exhaustion when he was home and the late nights, the most intimate part of their marriage had really begun to suffer; it wasn't that they'd completely stopped, but it was much less frequent and it even felt different, like they weren't connected so closely anymore. She'd thought long and hard about it, trying to work out whether it was something she'd done or if it was external problems impacting on their relationship, and she'd come to the conclusion that there was one definite turning point in their relationship, something she felt personally responsible for. Their marriage had always had its ups and downs, but they usually recovered from whatever difficulties they were having, it was usually just a matter of taking a time out from the hustle and bustle of everyday life to really appreciate what they had together, resulting in better communication and relations between them. Recently though, things had been more down than up and it was beginning to really hurt Sue Ellen, she didn't know how much more she could do herself, she tried so hard to be the wife that he wanted and needed, but he also had to put some effort into being a good husband, it just wouldn't work otherwise.

Things had really changed in their relationship after she had taken ill with what she assumed to be a pregnancy, but what was really just the mental stress and exhaustion of her life as JR Ewing's wife catching up to her. After she'd returned home from her mother's house, JR had begun to treat her differently, more delicately, as if the smallest bit of bad news would hurt her, so instead of talking about his thoughts and problems, he withheld them from her, both physically and mentally. His commitment to hiding anything serious or negative from her translated into a significant amount of the intimate attention he previously gave her being directed elsewhere, leaving her frustrated in more than one area of their marriage. In the past, whether he planned it or not, he used to vent his frustration in the bedroom, though she knew he always regretted when he did that, he had a complex about treating her like a lady; however, whenever they did anything of that nature now, it was always slow and gentle, things were just different. She sighed to herself as she parked her car in the driveway and noted that Bobby's car was parked outside too; although she knew how much JR disliked when Bobby was too involved in the business, she found herself wishing that he were more available for general company duties. Having Bobby around to help him would lessen JR's workload and possibly improve their marriage by giving him more time to spend with her without worrying about Ewing Oil; unfortunately, she knew JR would never entertain the idea, he liked to be in control and having Bobby around was not included in his ideal business plan. Walking inside the house, she faked a smile; it wasn't good for her image if she looked gloomy and upset, she had everything she had been taught that she should want in life thanks to the Ewings and it would look awful if she seemed ungrateful for all of that. "Good evening Miss Ellie, Lucy", she smiled at the two before excusing herself upstairs to change and get ready for dinner; even if she wasn't completely satisfied, she could at least pretend to be, burying her feelings was something she was well-versed in, she'd been practicing her whole life.

To be continued…


	162. Football

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR?" Sue Ellen exited the bathroom and entered the bedroom, sliding into bed next to her husband, "mhm", JR looked up at her from the book he was reading, closing it and putting it on the nightstand as he read her expression, she wanted to talk, and the least he could do right now was pay attention to her. "Do you still have that private box at the Cowboys stadium?" although it wasn't really the ideal time to start a conversation, she decided to ask him now anyway, if she waited until she had his full attention then she'd be waiting a long time. "I do, well, we do, technically Ewing Oil owns it", JR looked at her confusedly as he spoke, Sue Ellen had been a cheerleader in college, but that was about as close as she got to an interest in football, why she would be asking about his private box now was a mystery to him. "Oh good, do you think it would be possible for me to take Mary there sometime, perhaps tour the stadium too?" she paused and looked at him before continuing to speak, he probably needed a little more clarification. "As much as I'm trying to get her interested in other things, she really seems to enjoy sports; though an interest in sport alone isn't going to get her a college scholarship, so I'm working hard to improve her tennis skills so that she can make the team when she goes back to school in the fall. I want my impact on her to be longer lasting than just this summer, she's smart and she deserves better than what she has. She works so hard to do the things I want her to and act the way I instruct her to, she's a good girl really, so I think she deserves a reward for her behaviour; seeing something from a perspective that other people of her economic means never do will give her something to really remember. A Cowboys game from a private box seems like a good idea, don't you think?" she finished speaking and waited for his response.

JR listened as she spoke, she started off making sense, but then she launched into something completely foreign to him, who the heck was Mary and why was Sue Ellen so concerned about her life? In that moment, he realised that he really hadn't been paying a whole lot of attention to his wife lately, the name and story vaguely rang a bell, she was doing some charity work for the DOA, but he didn't really know the details. It appeared by the way she spoke just now though that she'd obviously shared some information with him before and assumed that he knew what she was talking about, unfortunately for her, and for him, he just hadn't been listening and this was all new information to him. "It sounds great darlin', you're doing a good thing helping that girl. I'll call my contact tomorrow and arrange a tour of the stadium for you two later in the week", he was JR Ewing, he could easily make things like that happen; "thank you JR", she smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek as he confirmed her idea without argument. "Sue Ellen?" it surprised her as he continued to speak, "you do realise that there probably won't be much happening there right now, football season doesn't start until September". He couldn't help but laugh as he watched her face drop, of course she didn't realise that there wouldn't be a game on, or any players hanging around that they could meet, she only followed football in a very vague sense, not really taking notice of details like season schedules; she was a cheerleader at heart, not a football fan. "JR", she whined and began to pout as he laughed at her; truthfully, he was right, she didn't really think about whether the season was on or not, but it still hurt that he was laughing at her. She had been ultrasensitive about the way he spoke to her lately, he had been treating her like a child, as if she needn't concern herself with details of his business, and now it felt like he was laughing at her naivety, it just hurt to think that he underestimated her ability to think at an adult level.

JR frowned at her as she petulantly whined and pouted, he had been amused by her enthusiasm for something she knew nothing about, but he hadn't meant it in a nasty way; he loved that she wanted to please her new friend even when she had no real interest in football herself. He was quickly reminded that she was sensitive though, her pout making it clear that his joking comments had offended her; he knew she hated when he spoke down to her and it appeared that she didn't appreciate his little reminder. However, with the way she was acting right now it almost seemed appropriate to treat her like a child, she was behaving like one; he hadn't meant to offend her and he hadn't said anything terrible, she was overreacting again. Deciding that he didn't feel like having her upset with him, he chose to make amends for his misspoken words, he didn't enjoy apologising, but it wasn't something that was worth fighting about, "I'm sorry darlin', I didn't mean to upset you. Maybe if Mary would like to, you could bring her to a game next season, then she'll have the full experience", he smiled and willed her to accept his suggestion, he had made the move to apologise, the ball was in her court now as far as he was concerned. Sue Ellen looked at him as he finished speaking, silently scolding herself for once again overreacting to something he said, she needed to stop being so sensitive about his little comments, he didn't set out to upset her, she was too easily offended. "No, I know you didn't, I overreacted. Your idea sounds great, thank you JR", she moved closer and kissed him, hoping that he wasn't upset with her for the way she acted. Their conversation had unintentionally reminded her that she needed to remember to control her response to his words and not be so emotional about things, because if she couldn't handle a little light teasing, then she was sure that he'd never open up to her about his bigger problems again either. JR was surprised when she kissed him, he didn't understand women sometimes, but he wasn't going to argue with the turn of events, instead, turning off the bedside lamp and kissing her back; it was a much more enjoyable way to end the evening than getting in an argument.

To be continued…


	163. Requests and Demands

**Dallas, Texas**

"No mama, of course I want to see you and Kristin, it's just that I'm a little busy right now", Sue Ellen twisted the phone cord around her finger as she listened to her mother complain about what a terrible daughter she was for not inviting them to Southfork more often. She knew her mother and could read her tone of voice, her request was only partially about wanting to come to Southfork, the other half was something more personal, something she hadn't bothered to mention to Sue Ellen and was hoping that she didn't question. It was clear that her mother was withholding details from her and although she wanted to just come straight out and directly ask her what the real problem was, she didn't; she'd been raised to respect her mother's authority and although she was married and lived in another city, she still feared the punishment of speaking out of turn. She rolled her eyes as her mother began to question exactly what she was busy with and guilted her into explaining the reasons why she couldn't also include Kristin in her plans. It didn't escape her notice that her mother stopped short of asking to be included herself, but she didn't stop to think too much about it as she was preoccupied with responding to her mother's accusations of avoidance and snobbery. She looked at her calendar as she sat and listened to her mother speaking, from the way the conversation was going, it seemed inevitable that she would end up hosting her mother and sister for at least a weekend, probably longer if her mother got her way. It was almost a shame that they'd missed the Fourth of July party, it would've been the perfect weekend to invite her family, she would have been able to introduce them to a few people and wouldn't have had to spend all weekend playing hostess.

Taking a deep breath, she spoke, "mama, I've just looked at my calendar. I'm free two weeks from now, we could do the weekend, say the 23rd to the 25th, that's Friday through Sunday afternoon. How does that sound to you?" she waited for her mother to respond, noticing the unusually long pause she took before she spoke again, another unusual thing for her mother to do. "You're sure you aren't free next week? I know Kristin would just love to spend a little bit longer at Southfork, a weekend just isn't enough time to experience everything"; Sue Ellen rolled her eyes again as her mother spoke, no longer did it sound like she just wanted to visit, it was becoming more apparent that she already had plans and needed a babysitter. "No mama, I told you, I have commitments and they really aren't things I can just drop or things that Kristin would be interested in. I am free two weeks from now if you would like to visit, but if it's inconvenient for you then we can reschedule for a later date this summer", she smiled to herself as she replied, it felt good to have the upper hand in the conversation. She'd learned a few things from JR about negotiating; she hadn't completely turned down her mother's request, but she'd made it clear that if she wanted it to happen, then they'd have to work on her terms. It would be clear from her mother's response to the offer whether she was actually interested in visiting her or whether she just needed someone to take care of Kristin while she was off doing whatever it was that she had planned. "I suppose that's fine, we'll come up on the Friday and I'll leave on Sunday evening, but I meant what I said about Kristin, she loves Southfork and she's on summer vacation, it's the perfect time for you two to spend some time together. I have to go now, but we'll speak later in the week to discuss the finer details", they said their goodbyes and Sue Ellen hung up, relieved that the conversation was over, but also a little annoyed that she had been ambushed and pushed her into a decision that she hadn't really agreed to. It was just like her mother to end the discussion as soon as she got her way; she was getting the Kristin-free week that she clearly wanted and she definitely expected Sue Ellen to plan everything, including paying for their flights. It was something she didn't mind doing, JR had no problem with her spending money, but her mother's entitlement was rather irritating, she just expected Sue Ellen to fund her lifestyle without question; she had raised her daughters to marry wealthy men not only for themselves, but for her own wellbeing too. She pencilled their visit into her calendar and sighed, a weekend with her family was ok, but a whole week entertaining her sister was not something she was looking forward to.

"JR?" Sue Ellen had been thinking about it all afternoon, her mother was definitely hiding something, she had been very insistent that Kristin stay a week and she had pushed hard for next week specifically, it just seemed suspicious seeing as Kristin didn't go back to school until the fall. JR looked up at his wife as he changed for dinner; he'd been making a special effort to come home on time the past few days and actually spend a little bit of time listening to her and asking her about her day. Their conversation earlier in the week had been a reminder to him that she was a dedicated wife and although he had other things going on in his life, she didn't know about any of that and still expected him to at least pay attention to her when they were alone together. "Yes darlin'?" he watched her as she nervously looked at him and tried to word her sentence in an inoffensive way, though he wasn't at all offended by what she was inferring, he was actually flattered; she didn't want to know how he did it, she just needed his help finding out a little bit of information about someone. "I can do that…" he nodded and waited for her to explain the situation, surprised when she mentioned that it was her mother's actions that she wanted him to look into; he'd always been a little suspicious of Patricia's motivations, but he never thought he'd hear his wife asking him to investigate further. Sue Ellen was relieved when JR didn't seem upset about what she was alluding to; being with him for four years, she had learned a few things about how he did business; he always had the upper hand, even when he pretended not to, and sometimes he went to somewhat unethical means to get that upper hand. Her mother was probably a lot more transparent than the usual people he had investigated, but she didn't personally have the skills to find out the information she wanted, so using JR's resources seemed like a good idea, and she was glad that he'd agreed without argument. Her mother was hiding something and she was determined to find out what it was.

To be continued…


	164. Answers and Annoyance

**Dallas, Texas**

"Your mail sir", JR's secretary smiled and placed the stack of envelopes down on his desk before waiting for him to give him further directions. Opening the boring mail first and making a pile for his secretary to reply to, file or dispose of; reaching the final item, he grinned to himself as he recognized what it was; giving his secretary her directions for the pile of now-opened mail, he waited until he was alone to open the brown, manila envelope. "Well, well, well" he muttered to himself as he began to read, lapping up the new information in the report; Sue Ellen hadn't been wrong, her mother had a motive far greater than just wanting to see her daughter and the Ewing family; in true Patricia Shepard fashion, everything always came down to money, and this was no different.

"Mary", Sue Ellen whispered sternly as she watched, and heard, the younger girl eating, "do you remember what we discussed about soup?" the look in her eyes made it clear that she was not pleased right now. Sue Ellen felt strongly about etiquette and she felt it would reflect badly on her mentorship if the other DOA ladies saw Mary slurping her soup. Although she hadn't really intended on appearing strict around Mary, she wanted the girl to like her, not fear her, her mother had once again influenced the way she acted and she was unconsciously acting the way Patricia had so many times during Sue Ellen's childhood. Mary looked at Sue Ellen, surprised at the cold look she was giving her, it was different to the way she had acted during their previous 'lessons'; Sue Ellen had always taken a gentle approach in the methods she used when trying to train her to be what she referred to as a 'proper lady'. "I'm sorry", Mary looked Sue Ellen in the eye and apologised, it was easier than arguing about the correct way to eat soup; manners seemed to be awfully important to Sue Ellen and to humour her and do as she said really wasn't that difficult, it just took a little bit of practice. Sue Ellen watched and listened as Mary apologised, her expression softening as she realised how she must have sounded; the last thing she wanted was to imitate her mother's version of parenting, especially since Mary wasn't actually her daughter and she had little real authority to hold over her if they did argue. There was nothing to keep Mary from leaving their relationship if she felt mistreated, something that would personally offend and upset Sue Ellen if it did happen. However, it was clear that the girl was trying and that was all that really mattered right now; not all hope was lost, if she tried hard enough then she had a chance to really better herself and her social situation.

Although Mary didn't see any real problem with the way her life was, Sue Ellen saw her as a project, someone she could focus her time, energy and money on and really achieve something with; Patricia had instilled the idea that there was always something better than what one already had, and with the right training, everything was attainable. Of course, her mother had taught her lessons with the idea that a wealthy husband and good social connections were the ultimate prize, but Sue Ellen could see a little something more in Mary's future. If she met a wealthy man while in college then that would be wonderful for her, but to get a college education would do her the world of good in itself, it would provide a gateway to a better life for her family, something they clearly needed if she was eligible for the DOA charity program. Sue Ellen wasn't stupid, she may have been raised with a certain set of ideas about her future and never intended on using her degree, but she went to college with plenty of girls who did and were now professionals. She knew what having a college degree meant in society, it was always better to have one than to not, and that's what she wanted for Mary, she had an attachment to her now and she wanted her to really succeed. To prepare her for future success, Sue Ellen was employing all of her known techniques, a lot of which were straight out of the Patricia Shepard handbook; it wasn't something that she necessarily wanted, but she'd never known another way and it just made sense. If she could make her into a proper lady, then she would already have an advantage over the other girls when it came to both the social and business worlds; good manners were always in fashion and to instil those teachings would serve her well in later life. "No need to apologise; just remember what we discussed", Sue Ellen smiled as Mary listened and did as she said, spooning the soup from front to back and gently sipping it from the side, silently and elegantly enjoying the food. Relaxing, she resumed their conversation and went back to eating her own food.

Sue Ellen smiled to herself when she heard JR's car parking in the driveway as she finished applying her makeup before dinner; she'd had a good day, both Lucy and Mary seemed to actually enjoy her company and it made her feel good to be needed and have her opinions validated. "Good evening darlin'", JR entered the bedroom with a grin and Sue Ellen gave him a quizzical look, she was happy for her own reasons, but she didn't remember JR mentioning anything about a special meeting or deal he was working on this week, so what he was smiling about, she had no idea. Standing to meet him, she gave him a quick kiss and was relieved when he spoke, "I think you may be interested in this", he handed her the envelope and watched her face as she read the report. JR found Patricia's whole M.O. oddly satisfying to read about, she so desperately wanted to be someone, but she just wasn't, and he enjoyed reading about the lengths she would go to for money. Sue Ellen couldn't help but roll her eyes at the information JR's private investigator had gathered, it was so like her mother to put her greed in front of her responsibilities. In the past, it had always been her that was used in the game and it surprised Sue Ellen that her mother was now actually personally involved in her strategy. From the day she turned eighteen, Sue Ellen had been her mother's ticket to a better life; she'd been on countless awful dates with wealthy men, all while her mother directed her life from the side-lines. Things were different now though and Sue Ellen was a little annoyed that her mother chose now to pursue her love of money through her own actions; it could have saved her a lot of pain and frustration growing up if her mother had focused more on controlling her own life and less on controlling her daughter's lives. From what was written in the report, it appeared that her mother had been specific about the dates she wanted Kristin to visit Southfork, not for Kristin's sake, but for her own. She had been invited to spend a week in Aspen with a not so handsome, but very wealthy older gentleman, and she was doing everything she could to make it happen, even if it meant ignoring her primary responsibility as a parent and lying to her eldest daughter. It was almost unbelievable how focused on money her mother was, it was clear to Sue Ellen that her mother had no interest in this man for any reason other than his bank balance, he wasn't worldly, college educated, attractive, nor close to her age, and he only seemed to be interested in outdoor hobbies, something her mother detested. If she hadn't lived with her for the majority of her life, she wouldn't have believed that her mother could ignore their obvious lack of compatibility in pursuit of money, but she had, and she did, and she couldn't help but smile at it, her mother really was a special kind of woman.

To be continued…


	165. Negotiation

**Dallas, Texas**

"But Sue Ellen…" Lucy whined and pouted as Sue Ellen tried to persuade her to include Kristin in her plans with her friends; she didn't much care for the younger Shepard and she didn't particularly want to have to spend any more time with her than was completely necessary. For reasons unknown to Lucy, Kristin was snobby and conceited, she held a very high opinion of herself and looked down on others even though she really had no place to, she wasn't rich or powerful, she was just a middle class suburban girl who thought she was more than she actually was. Kristin just wasn't a fun person for her to hang out with and she didn't want to be forced into socialising with her any more than she had to. Lucy was just about at her limit playing the obligatory role as same-age companion and Sue Ellen's request seemed unreasonable; why should she and her friends have to include Kristin in their plans? Kristin was barely even related to her, it just seemed unnecessary and annoying. "How about we make a deal?" Sue Ellen swallowed her frustration and decided to negotiate; it was her best shot at getting what she wanted. She had spent past few days doing every activity that she thought Kristin would like, but now she was almost out of ideas, and tomorrow she had a DOA meeting, something that she knew Kristin wouldn't enjoy and she didn't particularly want to bring her to. With JR, Bobby and Jock at work, she and Miss Ellie at the DOA meeting and Lucy going to her friend's house, she didn't want to leave Kristin alone at Southfork, so as a last resort, she'd asked Lucy to include her in her plans and entertain her for the day. She had to feel for Lucy with what she was requesting of her, it really wasn't her responsibility to host Kristin, but she was at her wit's end with playing gracious and loving sister, especially after hosting her mother for a weekend too. She'd known it when her mother first suggested the idea that a week was definitely too long for her sister to be at Southfork and she regretted not protesting a little more, because dealing with Kristin was exhausting and she was more than ready for her to go back to Austin.

Lucy listened as Sue Ellen mentioned a deal, although she usually got pretty much everything she wanted, she still lived under the somewhat maternal rules and guidelines Sue Ellen set, and a deal sounded like a good opportunity for negotiation. "If you agree to include Kristin in your plans tomorrow, I'll agree to take you shopping and buy you whatever you want. I'll even hold back my honest opinions on the items you choose", she knew it sounded like a good offer to Lucy, it had been over a year since they'd completely agreed on everything fashion-wise, and Lucy was always pushing the boundaries with her. They'd started to disagree on what was appropriate for a young lady and what was not, something Sue Ellen had very traditional ideas about; her mother really had indoctrinated her into a certain way of thinking and she just couldn't get away from it, no matter how hard she tried. Lucy's face changed as she comprehended what Sue Ellen was saying; Sue Ellen would buy her whatever she wanted and she wouldn't have any say in whether it was 'appropriate' or not; she could actually buy stuff that matched what all her friends were wearing without argument. It wasn't often that she got such an opportunity, Miss Ellie had always bought her clothes when she was younger, but her taste was boring and old fashioned, and then Sue Ellen had married JR and had brought a whole new dimension to her wardrobe, she was cool and Lucy actually enjoyed having Sue Ellen choose her clothes. That had begun to change as she got older though, the things Sue Ellen chose for her just didn't match the current fashion or allow her to really fit in with the popular girls at school, something that didn't make a whole lot of sense to Lucy. For a young woman, Sue Ellen had very conservative taste, something that had become more apparent after she married JR for some reason; it was frustrating for Lucy to live with, because it wasn't as if they couldn't afford nice clothes, she just wasn't allowed to buy them. However, Sue Ellen's negotiation sounded like she was willing to calm down and allow Lucy to assert a little bit of independence; all of a sudden, including Kristin in her plans didn't seem like such a terrible idea after all. "Deal. Lisa's having a pool party tomorrow, so make sure that Kristin brings her bathing suit", Lucy held out her hand to Sue Ellen, she wanted to make sure that it wasn't an empty promise; from watching Jock and JR do business, she'd come to learn that a handshake meant trust and agreement, and a handshake deal was not easily broken. "Thank you Lucy", Sue Ellen smiled and shook her hand, smirking to herself as she exited Lucy's bedroom, the handshake had been unexpected, she really was a little Ewing.

"Mrs Ewing, Mr Ewing is on the telephone", Teresa walked out to the pool area as Sue Ellen and Kristin lay sunbathing, "thank you Teresa", Sue Ellen stood and excused herself, walking over to the patio to take the call. Kristin watched her sister with interest from behind her sunglasses, she always took great notice of people's body language and expressions, they gave away so much more than words did, and from the way Sue Ellen's face was changing, she wasn't receiving good news. "Everything all right sis?" she smiled sweetly as Sue Ellen returned to the pool area, it was obvious to her that Sue Ellen was using her pageant smile, not her real smile; she wasn't happy, but she was trying her hardest to pretend she was. "Everything's fine", Sue Ellen didn't even flinch as she answered, she was used to JR's absence by now and she was used to hiding the sadness and loneliness that came from being a Ewing wife at Southfork without her husband. Kristin raised her eyebrow as if to question what the purpose of the phone call was and Sue Ellen held back a sigh, her sister was so nosy sometimes. She changed her expression to something more serious, but still supportive, before she spoke, "that was JR, he was calling to let me know that they've got a lot going on at the office today, so he may not make it home in time for dinner. Being the vice president of an oil company is a demanding job, so sometimes he has to do things that seem extreme; but he always makes sure to call and let me know if his plans have changed and he always tries to be here when he's really needed". She didn't know where the lies came from, but she felt the need to impress her sister and make it known that their marriage was a happy one, even if that wasn't the whole truth; "how considerate of him", Kristin smiled at her sister, though her eyes said something more sinister. Although Sue Ellen appeared to have the perfect life, she had everything Patricia had emphasised was important, there was just something not right about the way she was acting; it was almost as if she was trying to convince herself of her happiness more than she was trying to convince her sister. "Yes, JR's very considerate", Sue Ellen nodded in agreement, her pageant smile firmly plastered on her face now, "more iced tea?", she was desperate to get away from their present topic of conversation now, it was beginning to depress her that JR wasn't actually as considerate as she had made him out to be. "Please", Kristin smiled and held out her glass, happily playing along with Sue Ellen's charade; her sister really was an fascinating person to observe, there was so much more going on behind her eyes than she was letting on and she was interested in finding out more about what her sister was hiding.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: The general idea of Sue Ellen controlling Lucy's actions and wardrobe choices was slightly hinted at in the early episodes, but they never really expanded on the Sue Ellen/Lucy relationship, instead focusing more on the Pam/Lucy relationship. I hope it somewhat makes sense that a younger Lucy and Sue Ellen wouldn't have started out with the icy relationship we were presented with when the show began though. Thanks for reading :)**


	166. Dallas and Austin

**Austin, Texas**

"Did you have good time at Southfork?" Patricia poured three glasses of iced tea as she questioned her daughters about their time in Dallas; she knew how to play the game, a brief overview of the trip was as far as their conversation was going to go, but she would still get all of the information she wanted. She was good at polite conversation, and so were her daughters, they all knew the purpose of their tea-table talk and didn't expect anything more meaningful. Patricia didn't particularly care about how much time they had spent riding horses or swimming, she was much more interested in their shopping trips and the social connections Kristin had made, but not once did she appear disinterested in the conversation, it just wasn't the proper thing to do. Although Kristin was still too young for her social connections to really matter, Patricia made sure to encourage Sue Ellen to introduce her to as many people as she possibly could. Thanks to Sue Ellen now being a Ewing wife, Kristin would have an easier time finding a suitable husband when she was old enough; Sue Ellen was now personally acquainted with a lot of wealthy people, and there was no harm in getting Kristin introduced to that world early. If she was lucky and everything went to plan, Patricia wouldn't have to worry about putting Kristin through all four years of college; hopefully Sue Ellen's connections would find her a husband much earlier than graduation day, or heaven forbid, the year and eight months after graduation that it had taken for Sue Ellen to finally walk down the aisle. Though, as she thought about it, Kristin was really the backup plan right now; her week with Theodore James Westwood IV at his vacation home in Aspen had been wonderful, he was immensely wealthy and she really felt like she was getting somewhere with him. If she played everything right, she could be a wealthy woman in her own right within months, and she wouldn't have to rely on Kristin and Sue Ellen for her future prosperity.

"Mama?" she snapped back into reality as she heard Sue Ellen speaking her name, she had been participating in the conversation, though she wasn't really listening and hadn't heard the question. "I'm sorry, what was that dear?" she turned her attention back to her eldest daughter and waited for her to repeat her words. "I asked about your week; this is an awfully big house for just one person. It must have been strange, the stillness and quietness", Sue Ellen spoke politely and innocently, as if she had no idea where her mother had been for the past week or what she had been doing, though the opposite was true, at least to some extent, she didn't particularly want to know the details of her mother's trip to Aspen. Patricia watched Sue Ellen closely as she spoke, it appeared that she really was just making conversation and inquiring, she had no idea that her Kristin wasn't the only one who'd been on a getaway trip last week; "oh yes dear, very quiet, but you know me, I keep busy", she smiled and then changed the topic of conversation. Sue Ellen held back a smirk as her mother brushed over the question, she wasn't going to drill her for answers, she already knew everything she wanted to, but it was still interesting to see the way her mother avoided the subject. The way Sue Ellen saw it, her mother was a hypocrite, she had no problem making her plans for her daughter's lives known, but she was awfully secretive about her own life, she never would have accepted a vague answer like that from Sue Ellen. "Good, I'm glad", Sue Ellen smiled politely and went back to drinking her iced tea as Kristin started to speak about something.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR returned home from work and was surprised when he didn't find Sue Ellen waiting for him in their bedroom, it was unusual behaviour for her, she loved welcoming him home at the end of the day. Walking out into the hallway, he knocked on Lucy's bedroom door, she was the closest Ewing and she would probably have an idea of Sue Ellen's whereabouts; Lucy smirked as JR genuinely asked where his wife was, he honestly didn't seem to remember that she was in Austin delivering Kristin back to her mother. So much for the loving, caring husband he'd pretended to be when he and Sue Ellen were first married, this was the JR she'd grown up with, the one that didn't take a whole lot of notice or care much about other people's lives, unless they affected him personally of course. "Well, if you'd noticed the now empty guestroom across the hall from your bedroom, you'd remember that Kristin has _finally _left Dallas", JR didn't appreciate her sarcasm, but he did have to laugh as his niece emphasised her relief at the fact that Kristin was gone. It appeared that he and Sue Ellen weren't the only ones that didn't particularly enjoy Kristin's presence, her personality was very similar to Patricia's, and that wasn't a good thing. "Sue Ellen flew down there with her this morning, but she said she didn't plan on staying long. Her return flight was supposed to land just before five, so she's probably on her way home as we speak", Lucy continued to speak and JR nodded as if he now remembered everything. Thanking Lucy, he left her bedroom, feeling like an idiot for not remembering and honestly barely registering at all that his wife had plans to leave Dallas, even if it was only for a few hours. It appeared that even when he mentally committed himself to trying to pay more attention to her, he still didn't manage to actually do it, everything else in his life always seemed to take priority over his wife, and he didn't really have an answer as to why that was.

**Austin, Texas**

"Would you like a chilled beverage Mrs Ewing?" the stewardess appeared in the aisle next to her seat and Sue Ellen smiled, a drink was exactly what she needed after the week she'd had, "yes please. I'd love a glass of white wine, if that's possible of course, otherwise, club soda will be fine". Although it was somewhat unusual for alcohol to be served on a short domestic flight like this, that didn't seem to be a problem for her today, the stewardess disappearing and quickly reappearing with a glass of white wine, just as she had requested, "thank you". It was good to be a Ewing; she had the best of the best and she felt like she was someone special, a fact that JR loved to remind her was true, she was his wife and anything she wanted was hers, there was no price too high for her satisfaction. Sipping her wine, she began to relax, her week from hell was finally over, she was free of her mother and Kristin for at least the next month, hopefully the rest of the summer; though, her mother would probably insist on visiting Southfork for the annual Ewing Barbecue, and if her mother didn't insist, then Miss Ellie certainly would. However, none of that mattered right now, Labor Day wasn't until September, she still had plenty of time to enjoy her own life at Southfork before the strain of entertaining and pleasing her family was thrust upon her again. Sue Ellen smiled to herself as she reclined in her seat, drinking her wine and reading a magazine. Although she hadn't been thrilled about having to fly back to Austin herself to bring Kristin home, Patricia didn't feel comfortable allowing Kristin to fly alone and expected Sue Ellen to hold all parenting responsibilities while Kristin was with her, she began to think now that perhaps being her sister's babysitter all week wasn't so bad after all. The service she was receiving on her flight home now was first class, and it was exactly what she deserved after being the one catering to her family all week. Just under an hour later, her flight landed in Dallas and she made her way back home, smiling to herself the whole way, feeling more relaxed than she had in weeks; leaving the highway, she cruised along the more rural roads that led through and past Braddock, all the way back to Southfork. Coming to a stop in the Southfork driveway, she sat in her car for a moment, just looking up at the house and thinking to herself. Although she sometimes still felt like an outsider in the Ewing family, there was no doubt that Southfork was her home now, she felt so much better at Southfork than she did at her mother's house in Austin; this was where she was supposed to be.

To be continued…


	167. Give and Take

**Houston, Texas**

"Well sir, I think we have an agreement", JR grinned as he laid out the paperwork for the man to sign; it was just a tentative agreement, the secretaries would change some of the details and fill out the particulars, making them ready for the lawyers to check before they were signed and returned later in the week. However, JR wasn't concerned about the fact that the contracts weren't completely binding yet, he was certain that the deal would go through, they'd made a lot of progress in today's meeting and agreed on a deal that was good for each of their companies. Now that he was secure in the knowledge that Ewing Oil was a winner once again, he was ready to lighten the mood. In true Texan style, Mr Miller grinned, almost as if he had read JR's mind, "Kathy, would you please come in here", he buzzed his secretary and ordered her into his office to make their drinks, the contracts were signed, they were celebrating, it was time to show a little hospitality to his guest. Having Ewing Oil as an ally was only a good thing, negotiating with JR Ewing could either go excellently, or terribly, the man was ruthless when it came to business and it always paid to be on his good side. JR grinned to himself as the secretary formerly identified as Kathy entered the office, he remembered seeing her on the way in, appreciating then the way her hips moved as she walked in front of him to show him to Mr Miller's office; she was a young, tall and blonde, a classic Texan beauty. Looking her up and down, he appreciated the way she positioned herself at the bar as she set about preparing their drinks; she knew her best physical features and she clearly knew her role within the company, she was there for primarily aesthetic purposes, her administrative duties were secondary.

JR briefly though about Julie, she played somewhat of a similar role in Ewing Oil, though hers was more toned down, she was sexy, but it was more of a subtle flirty sexy than an overt sexy; she would perform personal services for their associates if JR asked her to, but those were rare occasions. Truthfully, he didn't like the idea of every man in Dallas having had a piece of her, so he usually used hired professionals for his blackmail purposes; however, there were occasionally situations where he specifically needed someone like Julie. She knew Ewing Oil and she knew JR, her brainpower and manipulative talents were useful to him when he required a more detailed picture of a situation; Julie knew how to get information out of men, a talent JR appreciated and rewarded her for. If he just wanted pictures to blackmail someone with, then he could use a hooker, but information required a more delicate approach; it was simple, there were very few hired women that he actually trusted to keep their silence after he'd paid them, and some things were just too risky for him to assign responsibility to an unqualified girl. Sometimes it was necessary to use Julie for other purposes, but he would never pimp her out in the way that Kathy earned her salary at Miller Industries. JR watched her hips sway as she walked over and handed him his bourbon, making sure she paused for a few seconds to give him a chance to notice her cleavage. He grinned to himself as he sipped his drink, he knew would end up in bed with someone tonight, but it wouldn't be this particular woman, she was too close to the company he was dealing with, he wouldn't implicate himself like that, it was too obvious. However, that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy the view, after all there was no harm in looking.

**Dallas, Texas**

"No dresses or skirts?" Sue Ellen watched Lucy as she moved around the clothing racks in the juniors section of The Store, she was beginning to regret promising Lucy that she would hold back her honest opinions, there was so much more that she wanted to say. Lucy was smart, she knew not to waste the opportunity on something silly, if Sue Ellen was going to buy her anything and everything she wanted and not complain about how 'unladylike' her choices were, then she was going to take advantage of it. The clothing stores were now full of new season fashions, just in time for Lucy to choose a completely new back to school wardrobe. She had thought out their whole trip, she would ask Sue Ellen to go to The Store first, they would buy the basics there and it would ease her into the idea of letting her choose her own things. Then, when Sue Ellen was feeling a little better about everything, thinking she'd won the game, she would request that they visit some of the trendier stores in the mall, that's where she planned on purchasing the majority of the clothes she wanted. "No dresses or skirts, at least not for school. Only little girls and middle-aged women are wearing dresses now. I want to look cool, and denim jeans and corduroy pants are cool. Haven't you read any magazines lately?" she looked away from Sue Ellen and rolled her eyes, the stylish Miss Texas had been replaced with a conservative, traditional woman, it was as if marrying JR and joining the DOA had aged her well beyond her actual age of just twenty-four. Sue Ellen never seemed to think that anything she chose was acceptable, instead, overriding Lucy's preferred choices with cutesy dresses and dainty accessories, they were fine a few years ago, but now, they weren't at all what she wanted to wear. It was as if Sue Ellen wanted to keep her dressed like a little girl forever, but she wasn't a little girl, she was almost a teenager, and she wanted to dress like all popular girls at school; why her aunt didn't seem to understand that was beyond her. Sue Ellen had a mental response to Lucy's comment, but decided against voicing it, just nodding and allowing Lucy to walk over to the next rack of clothes; their discussion wasn't worth getting into a fight about, especially not in public like this. The truth of the matter was that Lucy wasn't actually her daughter, she had no real authority over her other than being the adult in the situation; the closeness in their relationship was based solely on their attitudes towards each other, and she really didn't want Lucy to hate her or stop wanting to spend time with her. She needed all the friends she could get, especially with JR being so busy all the time; if Lucy wanted to have the freedom to choose her own clothes and Miss Ellie was ok with the idea, then it wasn't her place to tell her no.

Besides, there were worse things in life than a little girl being interested her appearance and wanting to fit in, at least she cared enough to assert herself in order to get what she wanted, it was more than what Sue Ellen had done at Lucy's age. The more Sue Ellen thought about it, the more she realised just how much her mother had controlled every aspect of her life and how she had just accepted it; it was hard to admit, because she didn't want to be like her mother, but by trying to redirect Lucy's interests, she was imitating her mother's parenting style. Sighing, she looked over at the younger children's clothing section, gone were the days where she could purchase a stack of cute and feminine new outfits, place them on Lucy's bed and only get positive thanks in response to her gesture. Turning her head, she noticed the racks on the other side of the children's section, little boys clothing; for a brief moment she wondered whether it was any easier with a son, the choices seemed a lot simpler and boys typically didn't care as much about their appearance as girls did. However, her heart sank as she realised that it would be years before she ever got to shop in that section; John Ross Ewing III was taking a lot longer to announce himself than anyone had expected, a sad fact that impacted her every day of her life. No one said anything anymore, but she knew that everyone was thinking about it, if she didn't produce a son soon, the Ewing family would think there was something wrong with her, and would probably start to wonder whether their investment in her as a Ewing wife was worth all the hassle. "Can you please hold these, there are a few more things I want to get before I try everything on", her thoughts were interrupted as Lucy handed her a pile of clothes, though she wasn't upset about it, the topic of possible infertility was one she wasn't ready to confront just yet, it was too painful.

To be continued…


	168. Reflecting

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR", Jock waved his arm at JR and JR stood, giving his wife a quick kiss on the cheek before grabbing his hat and briefcase and leaving the house. "Lucy, you'd better be going too, you don't want to be late for school", Miss Ellie smiled at her granddaughter and waved her out of the room before checking her watch, leaving the room herself as she muttered something about going upstairs to finish getting herself ready for her morning with Mavis. "Miss Sue Ellen?" Teresa cleared the rest of the family's dirty plates from the table before hovering in the room as Sue Ellen stared absently out the window, not touching her food, but also not making any moves to leave the dining room. Sue Ellen was brought back into reality as she heard Teresa speak her name, "oh, I'm finished now. Thank you Teresa", she stood and left the dining room, making her way upstairs to 'finish getting ready', though she wasn't sure what for, her plans for the day consisted of riding her horse and sunbathing by the pool, neither of which required any more getting ready than a quick change of clothes. Walking into their bedroom, she paced around for a while, unsure of what to do with herself now that she was there; straightening the frames on the wall and reorganizing the top of her dressing table, she looked around the room, everything was clean, tidy and organized, there wasn't much more she could do in there right now. Sighing to herself, she picked up a magazine from her nightstand and walked downstairs, telling Teresa that she was going to sit outside for a while and asking her to bring her a cup of coffee. Sitting down, she looked at her watch and sighed, it was only just after 8.30am and she was already antsy, it was strange to have so much time on her hands again now that the school year summer vacation period was over.

Earlier in the summer, she had asked the ranch hands to have her horse tacked up and ready to ride at 9.30am every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, but she made a mental note to change the time again now that Lucy had started school again and her mornings were free of disruptions. It was clear from her restlessness this morning that she had gotten used to having more people around her and more things to fill her day with and she was having a hard time adjusting back into her normal life. Although the people she had been around for the summer were younger girls that she had effectively been babysitting, they were still people she was socialising with and she felt at a loss now that the school year had started and her 'friends' were busy with their own lives again. Sipping her coffee and looking out at the ranch, Sue Ellen felt a bit silly as she reflected on her thoughts, it seemed a bit sad that she was considered her niece, her mother-in-law, her sister and her DOA 'little sister' to be her closest friends; because the cold reality was that that she had no real friends anymore. Things had been so much easier when she was in college, she was a cheerleader, sorority girl, Miss Texas and all-round popular student, she had been happy with the way her life was back then. In college, even when a close friend wasn't there, there was always someone around who wanted to hang out and do something together, even the people she considered mere acquaintances had been closer than the 'friends' she had now. Outside of the Ewing family, the DOA ladies were probably the people she socialised with the most, but she didn't really consider any of them to be her real friends. The DOA ladies were nice enough to meet with a few times a week for meetings or the occasional social get together, but they were all playing a game, it was all about keeping up appearances and staying relevant in Dallas society, it was all superficial, not real. The truth of the matter was that she had no real friends and she hadn't had any in quite some time; after college graduation, her life had gone one way and her friends lives had gone another way, they'd just drifted apart. The problem was, she hadn't made any new friends to replace the ones that she had lost, and didn't know where to begin to make new friends now. Her husband wasn't nearly present enough for them to enjoy quality time together like they used to, her in-laws were just that, she had no hobbies or interests outside of the DOA and shopping and she had no baby yet; her life felt empty. Finishing her coffee, she walked upstairs and changed into her riding clothes before slowly making her way down to the stables; as she walked across the ranch, she made the decision to increase her morning rides from three times a week to five and change the time to 8.30. The changes would give her something to do in the mornings, at least in the meantime; anything had to be better than sitting alone waiting for time to pass.

Returning back to the house at midday, Sue Ellen quickly showered and changed clothes before walking downstairs for lunch on the patio, alone, again. For a moment, she regretted not taking Miss Ellie up on her offer to spend the day with her and Mavis, but she quickly reminded herself that her mother-in-law was merely being polite and that it would be intrusive and rude to impose on their time together. Teresa brought out the plate of food for Sue Ellen's lunch, asked her whether she needed anything else and then returned to the house, leaving Sue Ellen to enjoy her lunch in peace, though the quietness of the ranch house seemed more unnerving than relaxing. It was too quiet, too empty; everyone that inhabited Southfork was somewhere else right now, doing something productive or enjoyable with their lives, that is, everyone but Sue Ellen, she was just sitting at home by herself, lonely, sad and bored. She ate her lunch and walked upstairs, her mind dazed as she moved around the bedroom, subconsciously changing into her bathing suit and cover-up. As she looked at herself in the mirror to check her final appearance, it suddenly occurred to her that she didn't really feel like being out in the sun all afternoon after she had just been riding all morning and she was acting out of routine rather than want. She hesitated, uneasy with the new realisation, one that should have been obvious to her before, but wasn't; she didn't have to do anything that she didn't want to do; unfortunately, it was easier to act on a scheduled routine of monotonous activities than it was to do something different, because truthfully, she didn't really know what she wanted. Making a snap decision, something she hardly ever did, she changed out of her bathing suit and into nice, publically acceptable outfit, grabbed her purse and got into her car, leaving the ranch; she didn't really have a plan or a destination, but she was going to do something different this afternoon, and she was going to enjoy it.

To be continued…


	169. State of Mind

**Hillsboro, Texas**

Sue Ellen Ewing sat alone in a small diner drinking a cup of coffee and watching the cars and pedestrians pass by the front window; her spontaneous decision to do something different had quickly turned her into an even more confused mess. So far, her pursuit of a meaningful activity to occupy her afternoon had been a bust; she'd driven from Southfork, through downtown Dallas and then straight out of town, only stopping when she saw a sign indicating that she was nearing Waco. Texas was a big state, if she kept on driving, she'd end up somewhere interesting, or she'd end up miles away from home, in the middle of nowhere; Hillsboro was a smallish town, it didn't quite qualify as the middle of nowhere, but it was close. On top of the fact that she'd not ended up anywhere interesting, she'd neared Waco, a city half way to Austin, and Austin was somewhere she didn't want to be anywhere near right now. Waco was also a two-hour drive from Southfork, she wasn't there yet, but if she wanted to be home in time for dinner and her happy wife charade, then she needed to head back now, especially since she'd be driving through rush-hour traffic by the time she got into Dallas again. Finishing her coffee and leaving some money on the table, she walked into the bathroom to freshen up before walking back out to her car, sighing to herself as she reversed and headed back toward the highway. She wasn't sure exactly what she'd hoped to gain from this trip, but whatever it was, she hadn't succeeded; she was still as lost and lonely as she had been earlier in the day.

**Dallas, Texas**

A mere three hours later, Sue Ellen stood in the bedroom she shared with JR at Southfork, doing the same thing she did every day at this time, primping herself for cocktails and dinner with the family. Brushing her hair, she looked at herself in the mirror, the reflection looking back at her seemed different, though she wasn't sure how, she hadn't changed anything about her appearance. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew what it was, her eyes were reflecting her thoughts and feelings, when she smiled, it never seemed completely genuine anymore, it was more like she was playing the role of a happy woman rather than actually being a happy woman, though her conscious mind didn't connect the dots. What her conscious mind did tell her was that she wasn't happy at this particular moment and for some reason, she was dreading going downstairs again tonight. She felt guilty for having those thoughts though, the Ewing's were nothing but kind to her and she didn't want to appear ungrateful; the family may possibly interpret her demeanour as an insult if she appeared anything less than happy, especially during family time. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy spending time with the Ewing family, in fact, it was probably the most exciting part of her day; however, it wasn't exactly fulfilling or uplifting to listen to everyone else speak about the happenings of their day, all while silently questioning her own purpose and place in the world. She wanted more in her life, the problem was, she wasn't exactly sure what it was that she specifically wanted or how she could go about attaining that further happiness. Thinking about it a little more, she made the decision to really sit down and think about her life and her priorities tomorrow, though right now her only concerns were about dinner and the image she was displaying to the family.

Checking her appearance one final time, she turned her attention to her husband, sighing as she watched JR rushing around the room, oblivious to anything other than his own thoughts and actions. It was obvious that he'd had a busy day at work and had things on his mind and she hated that he never willingly shared his thoughts with her anymore and when she did ask, he only ever gave her brief responses. His silence was confusing and hurtful, it made her feel like she had done something wrong or she wasn't enough, as if anything she did say wasn't helpful to him or just made the situation worse, so he avoided telling her anything at all. She didn't know how to change their relationship back to its former state, one where they actually communicated with each other, even if it was only her giving him encouragement and him feigning interest in her activities, at least they'd talked about something. Her mother had only taught her how to be a supportive wife, and that meant listening, offering comments where appropriate and doing as her husband told her to, but nothing more; anything more wasn't the responsibility of a wife, she was there to support her husband as he required her, not to cause more problems by demanding attention. She didn't know what to do in the present situation, her presence didn't seem to be required very often in private circumstances and in public, JR acted as if they were the same happy couple they'd always been. It was possible that he didn't really see the problem and really believed that everything was fine, though she wished he'd at least voice that opinion so that she had the opportunity to counter that thought and open the topic for discussion. What Sue Ellen didn't know was that JR's attitude was combination of a number of different circumstances, both personal and business related; he didn't want to burden her with unnecessary worries, and he was relieving his stress through other outlets, making her offers of help seem unnecessary, however thoughtful they may be. However, what JR didn't realise was that his indifference was more harmful than helpful; she needed him more than he needed her, but he neglected to think about the situation from her perspective to see that. "You ready darlin'?" JR finished tying his tie and turned toward his wife, properly noticing her for the first time all evening. He'd known she was there and they'd had a brief conversation, but he hadn't paid much attention to her after that, it just never occurred to him to devote a little more time and energy to his wife, he had a lot of other things on his mind and she didn't need to concern herself with those issues. "Yes", Sue Ellen nodded and smiled, adjusting her facial expression to reflect the happy woman she pretended to be; she had learned to do at a young age how to hide the outward signs of the sadness within her. Taking her hand, JR led them out of the room and downstairs for another evening of cocktails and dinner with the family, oblivious to the deeper mental and emotional issues his wife was dealing with.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thanks everyone for reading :) ****Response to guest reviewer Messe; I think it was less about Sue Ellen being dull and more about her not having a clue who she was as an individual, so she just took the things that she thought she was supposed to do and applied them to her own life in an extreme sense. In a way, she was always playing a role rather than just being herself, so prior to marriage she was the college girl, beauty queen and model, but after marriage, she felt like she needed to act differently, because good wives acted a certain way. I know it was partially because Linda Gray was only hired to play a secondary character and no one thought about developing Sue Ellen, but in the early episodes, Sue Ellen really had little real personality, and when she did show some independent thought, it seemed like people were shocked rather than expecting. Hopefully the past couple of chapters make her personal struggle more apparent. If you have any more thoughts or ideas then feel free to PM me, I'm always happy to discuss Dallas :)**


	170. Internal Conflict

**Dallas, Texas**

Arriving back at Southfork from their DOA meeting at just after two o'clock, Sue Ellen and Miss Ellie separated, Sue Ellen heading upstairs to change into her bathing suit and Miss Ellie putting her things away before walking outside to tend to her rose garden. Walking back downstairs, Sue Ellen sighed to herself, her life was monotonous; it wasn't that she didn't enjoy sunbathing, swimming, horse riding, DOA meetings, restaurant lunches, walks or shopping, she did, but there was only so many times that she could repeat the same activities on a loop before she grew bored with them. It didn't help that they were almost the only things she did anymore now that her life with JR had essentially stalled, not developing or growing, in fact, almost receding in development to a point where they seemed more like roommates with occasional benefits than anything else. She had an inkling of an idea that JR was somehow trying to shield her from his problems by not discussing them with her, but it felt more personal than that, it felt like he didn't share anything with her anymore, not even his general thoughts or observations about the world. If he was trying to protect her feelings, then he was doing it all wrong, because the way he was treating her now made her feel just as confused and stressed than she had when she was worried about his business problems; essentially ignoring her wasn't the same as protecting her. The romantic man she had married seemed to be long gone now, and the promises he made on anniversaries and birthdays seemed empty when she looked at the reality of their life together. He never spent time with her anymore, he didn't send her flowers or buy her 'just because' gifts, he didn't take her out anywhere other than to business social events of family dinners, and he spent more time at the office than he did at home. She knew that just having a good relationship with JR wasn't going to automatically make her life feel completely fulfilled, because he could never completely match the level of time or energy that she devoted to him; but even a little bit of his attention meant a lot to her and was all she asked of him. In her mind, it seemed like a reasonable expectation, if he really loved her, then her happiness should be one of his goals, however, it didn't seem to be high on his list of priorities, and unfortunately, the clear lack of meaningful relationship between them just made her feel more confused and alone.

Logically, she knew that JR probably didn't know just how terrible she felt all the time, she was always hiding and downplaying her insecurities and always had her 'happy wife' mask on when she was around the family; with the lack of time they spent alone together, he probably saw her as a happy wife more than anything else. He wasn't a mind reader and he had other, more important things to do than further investigate his wife's possible hidden feelings, so if she said she was ok, then he tended to believe her and not question her moods, generally attributing anything out of the ordinary to 'women's problems', not anything he had to be concerned about. Rationally, it occurred to her that if she wanted him to know how she felt, then her best option was to talk to him and tell him how she felt, because suffering in silence did nothing to help the problem. However, emotionally and socially, she felt like a bad wife for feeling the way she did and for considering involving her husband in silly issues like her feelings; her mother would never approve of her burdening her husband with her problems, especially when they were so trivial in comparison to the things JR dealt with in his life. Patricia would see her as ungrateful and ridiculous for not appreciating the things she did have and always finding issue with the things she didn't have; her mother saw things in black and white, correlating money with happiness and not seeing the requirement for more than just financial fulfilment. It was her mother's voice in her head that held her back from voicing her real thoughts and opinions, especially if there was a possibility of her image being negatively affected. She had been taught that a good wife didn't complain unless completely necessary, and her mother's version of necessary was fairly narrow; so instead of opening the topic for discussion, she suffered in silence, burying everything deeper and trying her hardest to distract herself from the way she was feeling. She knew that a discussion about their relationship and her feelings was probably necessary and long overdue, but right now, it wasn't something she had the self-confidence to do.

Walking outside, she smiled at Miss Ellie and took a seat next to the pool, opening her magazine to a random page, she began to read, her eyes moving over the words, but her brain not processing the meaning or significance of anything in the article. "Sue Ellen?" she jumped slightly as Miss Ellie sat down on a chair next to her, "I'm finished tending to the roses now and I was going to have some iced tea, would you care to join me?" she smiled at her daughter-in-law and motioned toward the patio table. Sue Ellen nodded, standing and walking over toward the refreshments in a daze, her sense of time completely lost right now. If Miss Ellie was finished with her gardening then that meant that she'd been outside for a lot longer than she thought; however, her mind couldn't account for the past half hour, aside from the vague recollection of the magazine article she had been trying to read. Sitting down, Miss Ellie watched Sue Ellen's facial expression as they spoke about a mix of superficial and safe topics such as the weather, the DOA meeting earlier in the day and the new chef at The Gardens restaurant. Although she appeared to be smiling, Sue Ellen's happy expression was not genuine and it didn't reflect anything close to what was really going on in her mind. She had been blessed, or cursed, with large, brown eyes, and her eyes really were the window to her soul, giving away more information about her true feelings than she ever dared say aloud. Miss Ellie had been noticing Sue Ellen's distant expressions and lack of true happiness for a while, but she hadn't thought it was her place to say anything, until now; it had been apparent after the DOA meeting that something wasn't quite right and that Sue Ellen had much more going on in her mind than she ever let on. The DOA meeting itself had been great for her, she enjoyed feeling useful and in control of something, especially now that she was the chair of another committee group; and she enjoyed the social interaction with the other ladies. However, as soon as the meeting was over and they were in the car, it didn't take long for Sue Ellen to turn quiet and distant again, as if she was having a deep discussion with herself in her mind. Miss Ellie brushed off her concerns again as they arrived back at Southfork, Sue Ellen was a grown woman, she was capable of making her own decisions, even if they weren't the ones Ellie herself would have made. However, her thoughts changed as she observed Sue Ellen's obvious distraction as she attempted to read her magazine, her page remaining unchanged the entire time Ellie tended to the rose bush behind Sue Ellen's chair. She decided that just trying to open the discussion couldn't do any harm; if Sue Ellen wanted to talk, then she was there to listen, but if she didn't, then they could just enjoy their iced tea together and then separate again. It was Sue Ellen's decision to make though and if she didn't want to talk, then she wasn't going to push her.

To be continued…


	171. Tea Talk

**Dallas, Texas**

"Sue Ellen?" Miss Ellie decided that it was now or never, they had discussed a wide range of general topics and Sue Ellen's glass of iced tea was almost empty; if she didn't question her about her problems now, then Sue Ellen would leave the table and the conversation, closing the opportunity for discussion until another day. Sue Ellen distractedly ran her finger around the rim of her glass and looked up at her mother-in-law as she spoke, her tone sounded different to the rest of their conversation and Sue Ellen's stomach dropped, she suddenly felt anxious and uncomfortable, though she wasn't entirely sure why, Miss Ellie hadn't even said anything yet. "Sue Ellen, please forgive me if this seems out of line and know that you don't have to answer anything you don't want to", she looked at Sue Ellen as she spoke, making eye contact and continuing, "I'm concerned about you. You seem very distracted lately and I can't help but worry that that distraction is something bigger than just being preoccupied with thoughts. Is everything all right?" she didn't break eye contact as she finished speaking, wanting to make sure that Sue Ellen understood that she was asking out of concern, not nosiness. Sue Ellen panicked, this was exactly what she didn't want, she would hate for the Ewing family to think that she didn't appreciate or enjoy her life as a Ewing, because she did, she just wished that her life had a little more substance, that was all. However, she wasn't sure how to explain that without seeming like she was ungrateful or dissatisfied; saying that she was bored, lonely or sad was a recipe for disaster, at least that's how she saw it. "Oh? I'm not sure what you're talking about; really Miss Ellie, I'm fine", she didn't really know why, but her first response was to defend herself and deny that there was a problem, though she knew that if Miss Ellie was asking her if she was ok, then it was clear that she did in fact have a problem. Miss Ellie sighed, it wasn't going to be as easy as she had hoped, if Sue Ellen didn't want to admit that there was even an issue, then there was no way she was going to open up to actually discuss what the specific problems were.

In an act of subtle coercion, Miss Ellie refilled Sue Ellen's glass of iced tea before refilling her own; Sue Ellen was now trapped into the conversation for a little longer by her need to demonstrate proper social practice and remain polite. Miss Ellie softened her expression, hoping that Sue Ellen would let her guard down just a little, "Sue Ellen, I'm not trying to hurt you or punish you, I'm really just concerned about your wellbeing. Lately, you've don't seem to have been acting like your usual self; you seem quiet and distant", she didn't think adding the word sad would help the situation, though she did think it, "I just wanted you to know that I'm here if you do want to talk. I love you as if you were my own daughter and I just want to see you happy", she took hold of her hand and squeezed it before letting go and waiting for Sue Ellen to respond, or not respond, she wasn't really sure how she would react. Sue Ellen felt as if she were about to cry when Miss Ellie expressed her love for her, she couldn't remember one time where her own mother had said those words and it saddened her that she was hurting Miss Ellie with her moods. She felt guilty as she processed Miss Ellie's words, she had never intended for Miss Ellie to worry about her, she never wanted to burden anyone with her issues, least of all her mother-in-law and she felt awful that they were having this conversation; she obviously wasn't as good at hiding her true feelings as she had thought. Miss Ellie looked at Sue Ellen with a kind face, Sue Ellen's large brown eyes were watering and her upper lip was quivering as she attempted to hold her emotions together and present a neutral façade; it seemed to her that they may be getting somewhere now, but it appeared that Sue Ellen was fighting it. Sue Ellen looked at Miss Ellie's expression, she seemed to really care, but she couldn't tell her the depths of her issues, she wasn't ready for that yet, she couldn't even properly express her feelings to JR, and he was supposed to be the person closest to her; "oh Miss Ellie, I'm sorry if I worried you. It's really nothing terrible, I suppose I've just had a hard time adjusting back into my life since Mary and Lucy went back to school; I've just been a missing the companionship a little. Truly, that's all it is, I'll be fine once I find something else to occupy my time", she gave a small explanation that was somewhat truthful, though she lied about how deep her issues truly ran. Her loneliness was due to so many more things than the one example she had given, but she really didn't want to explain her emotional issues or her marital problems to her mother-in-law, she was just too close to it all and she didn't feel that it was good for her to know her true feelings about everything.

"You grew attached", Miss Ellie made an observational comment, "I remember when Gary started school, I didn't know what to do with myself. Luckily, I still had Bobby to look after though, I don't really know what I would have done without another son to focus on", her comments didn't really help Sue Ellen, though she did notice the obvious lack of emotion related to JR, he really had been Jock's son to raise. "So what did you do when Bobby started school?" Sue Ellen took an interest in the conversation mostly because it took the focus away from her problems, "I threw myself into charity work. That's why I'm so highly ranked in the DOA now", she smiled at Sue Ellen, it was possible that the same solution could work for her, she was already heavily involved in DOA work and she seemed to enjoy it, so joining a few more committees could be just what she needed to fill her extra time. The other solution was for Sue Ellen to have a baby of her own to focus on, someone that required her love and attention around the clock, she would never get bored with motherhood, it was full of challenges. However, becoming a mother wasn't quite as easy as being elected chair of a DOA committee, and although no one ever said anything, Miss Ellie assumed that there had to be a biological problem with either Sue Ellen or JR when it came to procreation. In her own marriage, children had come easily and plentifully, she and Jock had never had to deal with what she assumed was going on in JR and Sue Ellen's marriage; what she did know though was that Sue Ellen was extra sensitive about the subject of children, so she tried to avoid it where possible. Sue Ellen smiled weakly, she loved being in the DOA, it gave her something meaningful to focus on and occupied her time nicely; however, she wanted more in her life than charity projects and tea with the ladies afterwards. The DOA was a perfect side activity, but she didn't want it to be the only thing that gave her life any purpose; Miss Ellie's story was nice, but it didn't really help her own situation. Miss Ellie noticed as Sue Ellen's expression changed when she thought about the DOA, it was good for her, but she sensed that she didn't want to treat the DOA like a fulltime job, Sue Ellen wanted more, she just had to figure out what that more was, and Miss Ellie was determined to help her do just that.

To be continued…


	172. Distant

**Dallas, Texas**

Miss Ellie watched Sue Ellen's expression as they spoke, there was more to her moods than just lost attachment and extra free time, Sue Ellen was unhappy, though she didn't make it easy to understand exactly why she felt that way, she didn't seem to want to admit the depth of her feelings. "So, you'd be interested in joining more DOA projects?" she wanted Sue Ellen to say no, and for the opportunity to arise where she could question her further, she had a feeling that more DOA meetings wasn't what Sue Ellen wanted, but Sue Ellen never communicated that, though she wasn't communicating much of anything really. Unsurprisingly, Sue Ellen didn't really seem to want to be in the discussion and promptly agreed that more DOA commitments were exactly what would fix her problems; it seemed as if she had just agreed to end the discussion though. "That's all?" Miss Ellie questioned her daughter-in-law, she sensed that there was more to the story than just a little bit of boredom, but if Sue Ellen didn't want to explain anything else, then she didn't really want to drag it out of her either; pushing too hard could damage their progress if she wasn't careful. Sue Ellen looked up at her when she asked the question, it seemed leading, as if she were looking for more information than what she had provided, "yes Miss Ellie, DOA work is probably just what I need to fill my time", she gave a weak smile and hoped that her words were convincing enough to end the discussion. The two women sat in silence for a few moments, both unsure of what to say; they both knew that the DOA was a convenient solution to the problem, but not the correct solution, however, social politeness was preventing either of them from voicing their honest opinions. Miss Ellie just wanted Sue Ellen to open up and answer her questions honestly, but all Sue Ellen wanted to do right now was leave the table, she felt like she'd already revealed too much. "Would you like anything else Mrs Ewing?" Teresa appeared by the table to clear the empty glasses, a welcome distraction for Sue Ellen and a minor annoyance for Miss Ellie, "no thank you Teresa", Miss Ellie turned her attention back to Sue Ellen, though she sensed that their discussion was over, at least for now.

Walking into their bedroom and shutting the door, Sue Ellen began to cry; everything was so confusing and she didn't understand anything she was feeling. She didn't know why, Miss Ellie really seemed to want to help, but she couldn't bring herself to explain anything to her; as much as she longed for someone to listen to her and care, she couldn't discuss her problems with Miss Ellie, she was too close to the whole situation, it wasn't right. She felt silly for feeling the way she did, she couldn't explain why she was so closed off, though she blamed her mother for part of it, she was usually to blame for things like this. Miss Ellie had openly asked her whether she was ok, and she had lied and said that she was, though that couldn't have been further from the truth; she had literally had the opportunity to get a third-party perspective on her life and had done everything she could to avoid it. She didn't understand herself sometimes. Fifteen minutes later, she walked into the bathroom, splashed cold water on her face and then reapplied her makeup; she had to go back downstairs and act as if everything was ok, otherwise Miss Ellie really would be concerned. "…homework first and then you can go in the pool", Sue Ellen smiled to herself as she heard that Lucy had arrived home from school, at least Miss Ellie wouldn't be so focused on her life anymore, she could still enjoy an afternoon by the pool as she had intended.

"JR, after dinner", Jock nodded his head towards the downstairs office as the family congregated in the living room for cocktails, JR nodded as his father spoke and then went back to listening to Bobby's story about a run-in he and Ray had had with a few men at the Longhorn Bar. Sue Ellen sat silently as she watched JR and Bobby speaking to each other, her jealousy and hurt growing as the evening passed; they were brothers and although they fought a lot, they also occasionally got along with each other, this just happened to be one of those times. She knew that she had no right to demand that he pay attention to her and only her, but that didn't stop her from getting upset about his lack of attention. She was his wife and she felt like she deserved more than a quick kiss on the cheek and a hello when he arrived home before he essentially ignored her for the rest of the night; however, she never said anything to him for fear of his response. She had an irrational, or rational, fear of being irrelevant, and at the moment, she felt just that; there was no way his actions were just him trying to protect her anymore, he had to be bored with her and she blamed herself for his feelings, she was a failure as a wife. Miss Ellie watched Sue Ellen out of the corner of her eye as she and Jock spoke, Lucy hadn't materialised for dinner yet and JR and Bobby seemed to be too wrapped up in their own conversation to notice that Sue Ellen was sitting all alone, looking as if she was on the verge of an tears. She sighed with relief as Lucy came down the stairs and took a seat next to Sue Ellen, she was glad that Sue Ellen had someone to talk to and occupy her thoughts, even if only temporarily.

After dinner, Miss Ellie observed Sue Ellen as JR and Jock headed into the downstairs office to discuss business and Lucy headed upstairs to occupy herself for a while; Sue Ellen had that look in her eyes again, the one of loneliness and despair. It hadn't been as obvious earlier in the day, but Miss Ellie knew now that Sue Ellen's issues were deeper than just losing the constant companionship Lucy and Mary had provided her with during the summer; she and JR had barely said two words to each other during cocktails and dinner and that seemed indicative of a larger problem. Sue Ellen hovered in the foyer as everyone separated after dinner, she didn't have a clue what to do now, though she felt like she should, it was the exact same problem she dealt with every evening after dinner. She could see Miss Ellie watching her as the family cleared the room and as Teresa walked into the dining room to clear the dishes, Sue Ellen made her exit up the stairs; as much as she liked Miss Ellie, she just couldn't deal with another discussion with her right now, she was mentally and emotionally exhausted. Walking upstairs, she headed out onto the balcony above the swimming pool to get some air, she had all evening to do whatever she wanted, but she just couldn't deal with being in their bedroom right now, she spent entirely too much time in there already. Miss Ellie turned as Teresa left the room, not entirely surprised that Sue Ellen was gone; it appeared obvious to her now that Sue Ellen had a lot of things going on in her mind, none of which she wanted to talk about. She sighed to herself as she headed upstairs, she would think about how to approach the issue tomorrow, because as much as she wanted to respect Sue Ellen's wishes to remain silent, it hurt her to see her hurting herself by bottling everything up; however, for now, she would leave her alone, exactly as she wished.

To be continued…


	173. Trance

**Dallas, Texas**

"You enjoyed that didn't you?" Miss Ellie noticed the way Sue Ellen's mood had improved since the previous day and decided to try to open the discussion again. They and a few of the other DOA ladies had spent the morning at SMU, giving a speech and then holding a meet and greet with both students and alumni to bring awareness to the good work that the DOA was involved in. It wasn't so much a membership drive as it was a fundraiser, they had to keep their audience wide if they wanted to receive donations to expand their philanthropic actions. SMU was a private college and that meant it was full of wealthy students and alumni, and with the increased social awareness that was present on college campuses, it seemed like the perfect place to promote their organization. Sue Ellen was surprised at just how good it felt to be on a college campus again, even if it was a much smaller school than UT Austin, she still felt the atmosphere that came with being on campus, something that she hadn't realised she missed. During the meet and greet, she had spoken to a number of sorority girls, some even recognized her as the former Miss Texas, others just as Mrs JR Ewing, though it made her feel special either way; she enjoyed when people gave her attention as if she were someone famous or important, it made her feel good about herself. After the meeting, she and Miss Ellie had gotten lost on the way back to the parking lot and ended up taking the scenic route around the campus before finding the correct direction to go in; she really enjoyed just being part of college life again, even if it was only as a guest speaker. "I did", she couldn't help but smile as she replied to Miss Ellie's observation and she didn't even mind giving her an explanation, "it reminded me of being a college girl again. High school was ok, but I loved college, I really did", she smiled to herself as she thought about how good it had felt to finally get away from her mother, even if it was only a few miles from home and she still saw her multiple times a week. College had been good for her, and getting a degree at the end of her four years was really just a bonus; nothing could have replaced the experiences she had had or the way she had felt there, she had really had a wonderful experience during her time as a student.

Miss Ellie watched Sue Ellen's face as they drove through Dallas and back towards Southfork, she didn't even seem bothered by the red traffic lights that they kept getting or the other drivers going slowly in front of her; she seemed wrapped up in her own thoughts again, except today, they were happy thoughts, not sad ones. It was a nice change to see her acting like this and it was insightful to hear Sue Ellen reflect on her time as a college student, though she worried that as soon as they arrived home and she realised that they weren't heading back to SMU any time soon, that she would revert back into her withdrawn mood again. Wanting to know more and seizing the opportunity, she spoke again, "tell me about it… your time in college I mean", she prompted Sue Ellen to explain what it was that she had enjoyed so much about college, any thoughts Sue Ellen had had to be somewhat insightful, she appeared to be happier than she had been in weeks. Dreamily, Sue Ellen replied, forgetting that she was speaking to her mother-in-law and just voicing her honest thoughts, "the four years I was in college were the best four years of my life. I was a very happy young lady; I was popular and had a lot of friends and a wonderful boyfriend, I was a cheerleader and sorority girl, I was a relatively successful model, I was Miss Austin and then Miss Texas, and then I met JR. Everything was just perfect". She smiled to herself as she reminisced about her college experience; as academically challenging and sometimes boring as those four years had been, and as happy as she was to leave the studying, exams, quizzes and essays behind after graduation, she knew in her heart that she would redo it in a second if she had the chance to. Miss Ellie listened intently as Sue Ellen spoke, she had only known her for a short period of time before she graduated college, but she remembered the way she had been back then. When JR had first introduced Sue Ellen to the family, she really was the bubbly, happy young lady that Sue Ellen had just described, she wasn't misremembering or nostalgizing history. Along the way, sometime in the four years that had passed since then, something had changed; the young lady sitting next to her right now was far from that same person that Sue Ellen had described; she just didn't know what had changed or when that change had happened. "It sounds lovely", Miss Ellie didn't really know what to say, she wanted Sue Ellen to keep talking and to open up to her, because it would certainly give her a better insight into what was going on in her mind. However, she knew she had to be delicate with how she approached the situation, otherwise, if she were too direct, she ran the risk of startling Sue Ellen out of her thoughts and having her emotional wall go up again. "It was", Sue Ellen was still somewhat in a dreamy state of mind, only slightly paying attention to the road as she drove, mostly lost in her thoughts.

"So what about after college?" Miss Ellie spoke in a soft tone, hoping that Sue Ellen didn't notice that she was directing the conversation to gather more information; "after I graduated, things were good for a while. I was still Miss Texas and I got a modelling contract with a magazine, JR even bought me an apartment so that I didn't have to drive back to my mother's house after my meetings. My life was good, then…" she smiled and then frowned as she got lost in her memories, her life had been good up until the Miss America contest, then everything had started to unravel. "Then?" she knew she was taking a chance by asking her to further explain, but Miss Ellie was genuinely interested now, their conversations over the past couple of days had been more open and insightful than any conversation they'd had with each other in months, if not years. She didn't want to waste the opportunity to get inside Sue Ellen's head, this was possibly the last open conversation they would have for a while; Sue Ellen was never this open and she assumed that today was an exception to the rule, not an amendment. "Then everything fell apart", her vision blurred with tears in her eyes as she remembered the events that followed in the months after her graduation, "first I lost the Miss America pageant, then my mother insisted I move back home with her, then JR asked me to stop modelling and I was let go from my magazine contract. That was when everything really started to go downhill…" she didn't really realise it, she was too far into her memories to really notice, but she was speaking everything she was thinking and Miss Ellie was listening intently. "Downhill?" Miss Ellie listened and was surprised by some of the things Sue Ellen was telling her, she knew that she had been upset about the Miss America loss and that she had stopped modelling a few months later, but she didn't realise that JR had had a hand in that decision, though she wasn't entirely surprised. She had always assumed that JR tolerated Sue Ellen's modelling career rather than supported it, he was a man that enjoyed the idea of being able to support his woman, no matter whether she was his wife or not. JR was also known for being in control of everything he was involved in, and she had no doubt that JR was somehow involved in Sue Ellen's modelling career, whether she knew it or not.

"Yes, you see, being a model gave me something to do with my time and it gave me great personal satisfaction when I got positive client feedback. During my late high school years and all throughout college, I was a model, and it was one of the consistent things in my life after graduation. I enjoyed the people I worked with and I know it sounds a bit strange, especially with the small amount that it was, but I enjoyed making my own money too. When I gave up modelling, I didn't really know what I was supposed to do and I didn't really know anyone anymore, so I just kind of drifted through life. I played tennis, joined a book club, went shopping, went running and walking around my neighbourhood, for exercise and for fun; and then, a few times a week JR would come down to Austin or I would fly up to Dallas and we'd go on a date. It was a big change from the way my life had been just a few months before; I had been so busy in college, I almost never had time where I was just alone, and then all of a sudden, I had no commitments, nothing that I absolutely had to do. It made it harder that everyone I had known in college or through my modelling agency, their lives were all so different to mine and I found it difficult to know where I fit in to everything. It was just a big change for me, one I suppose I didn't handle very well", she sighed to herself as she voiced her thoughts, finally admitting to herself that she hadn't been happy for quite a while. "So then Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went, and so did my life, everything just dragged and I really didn't know what I was supposed to be doing. I love JR, I really do, but sometimes I don't understand him", the tears that had been gathering in her eyes finally spilled over, running down her cheeks, "I thought that the engagement and marriage meant that I finally had everything I ever wanted, but…", she could no longer control her emotions, bowing her head as she began to cry. In an act of love and support, Miss Ellie reached across to touch Sue Ellen, though all it did was startle her, turning her head and looking up, she finally realised exactly what she'd just done, just as everything went black.

To be continued…


	174. Accident

**Dallas, Texas**

"When can I see my wife, and what the hell happened anyway?" JR growled at the nurse at the desk as he paced angrily around the hospital waiting room, though he was less angry than concerned, no one seemed to be able to give him any information about Sue Ellen's state or what had happened. "I'm sorry Mr Ewing, Mrs Ewing is with the doctor now and all it says here on the ambulance report was that there was an automobile accident, I have no new information for you", the nurse felt bad for him, but she couldn't help him. JR grumbled but accepted her words, he'd already offered money for information, but it appeared that she really was telling the truth and had no further updates for him at the moment. Sitting down on the closest chair, he held his head low, unable to control his thoughts from spiralling out of control, only thinking of the worst possible conclusion, that his wife was dead. "JR!" he was surprised when his father walked hurriedly into the room, though he assumed that Julie had informed him of the earlier phone call when Jock returned to the office from his business lunch and that he was here now to support JR. "I came as soon as I got back. How is she? How's your mama?" JR was shocked, he was only Sue Ellen's emergency contact and had only been notified that she was in the hospital, not his mother too. "I… they only told me that Sue Ellen had been involved in a car crash, they didn't even mention mama", he looked up at Jock as if he were begging for forgiveness for not inquiring about his mother's state, though he hadn't actually done anything wrong, he hadn't known. Jock stood and marched over to the reception desk, demanding information but being given the same information that JR was, that there had been an automobile accident and that the doctor was in with the patients now. Silently, he sat back down next to JR, tapping the floor with his foot as he watched the swinging doors, willing a doctor appear, and willing him to have positive news.

Sue Ellen awoke to a light being shined in her eyes and her name being spoken gently, though she didn't recognize the voice that it belonged to, "Mrs Ewing?" she squinted as the light blinded her and slowly opened her eyes as the man turned it off. Looking around the room, she slowly realised that she was in a hospital bed, though she had no idea why, "I…" she coughed before she could speak any more words and was quickly silenced by the doctor who told her not to say anything until he had finished the examination. After he checked her breathing, blood pressure, vision and spinal movement, the doctor slowly explained the information that he had been given in her file; hers and another car had been found in the middle of an intersection outside of Braddock after an apparent collision between the two. From the information given in the ambulance report, it wasn't clear exactly who was at fault, though it didn't really matter right now, what mattered was her health and recovery. "Mrs Ewing, you are lucky, physically, you should be fine in a few days; you just have a few cuts and bruises, but no broken bones. I also believe you may have a mild concussion, so you may experience brief nausea, headaches, dizziness and/or confusion; I recommend…" he continued to speak, but Sue Ellen zoned out as she thought about everything he had just told her, specifically that she had been in a car accident. Sue Ellen gasped as she remembered snippets of what had happened and tears began to fall down her cheeks as she worried about Miss Ellie, "my…my mother-in-law?" she questioned the doctor as he continued to speak. "She's fine, a few cuts and bruises, but overall, it appears that you came out worse, so please, take my advice seriously. Do you have someone who can assist you at home?" Sue Ellen listened and sighed with relief as she heard that Miss Ellie was ok, though she still felt guilty and blamed herself that they were even in an accident, it had to have been her fault; she had been emotional and not paying attention to the road. "Y…yes", she nodded as the doctor asked her about her home recovery, Teresa was always at Southfork, she would be able to tend to her during the day. "Good; now, I'll be back on my next round, but as long as your stats still look ok next time I check you, I think you'll probably be able to go home later this evening"; she sighed with relief as he spoke, it meant that he wasn't so worried about her that he thought her condition required overnight observation.

"She has to live, she just has to", JR muttered mostly to himself. The swinging doors opened and both Jock and JR jumped up to greet the doctor, "Mr Ewing?", they both responded and were relieved when the doctor explained that both Miss Ellie and Sue Ellen only had minor injuries and would be released later in the evening pending a final check-up. "Can I go see my wife now doc?" JR was antsy, he needed to see Sue Ellen for himself and every minute they stood in the waiting room was another minute he wasn't with her, "yes, Mrs Sue Ellen Ewing is in room 301, and Mrs Eleanor Ewing is in room 305", both men thanked the doctor before heading toward the corridor to see their wives. As she sat alone in her hospital room, Sue Ellen let the tears she had been holding in finally spill out and was completely unprepared when JR walked into the room; JR took one look at his wife and ran over to her bed, sitting beside her and wrapping his arms around her as she cried into his chest. JR assumed that she was crying because of the shock of the accident, though that was only partially true; Sue Ellen felt ashamed of the way she had unloaded her feelings onto Miss Ellie and guilty for causing a road accident that could have killed both of them or other people. However, the biggest reason for her tears now was the fact that she still had unshed tears from the unfortunate trip down memory lane earlier in the afternoon; all of her memories from the past four years were still fresh in her mind and she didn't know how to deal with them. "Shh, darlin', you're safe now. Everything is going to be just fine", JR didn't really know what had happened, for all he knew, Sue Ellen could have been at fault, but right now he was just relieved that she wasn't badly injured, or dead. They had insurance on her car and he would settle any legal cases out of court if that became an issue, so he wasn't worried about either of those things; right now, the only thing that was important was that his wife, and his mother were ok; though from Sue Ellen's sniffling, her emotional state right now seemed questionable. Sue Ellen's breathing calmed as JR held her and somewhere in the back of her mind she felt a sense of irony at the fact that this was probably as close to real intimacy as they had been in weeks, if not months, and it just seemed so sad that she had to nearly die for it to happen. "I love you JR", she mumbled; somewhere in between the hysterical crying and calm, steady breathing JR's presence provided her with, she fell asleep, though not before she made her feelings for him clear, he was her husband and she really, truly did love him. JR watched her as she slept, his guilt over the way he had been treating her lately gnawing at him; he justified a lot of things in his life, but they all seemed so silly right now; he loved Sue Ellen and he never wanted her to doubt that he did. "I love you too darlin'", he whispered, kissing her on the cheek and brushing the hair out of her eyes; although she was already asleep and probably didn't hear him, it still made him feel better to say it aloud, he knew that she needed to hear those words from him more often than she did, especially recently.

To be continued…


	175. Recovery

**Dallas, Texas**

"Now darlin', Teresa made you some soup and crackers, and there's some orange juice and coffee here too", JR didn't know why, because she could see it for herself, but he felt the need to explain what was on the tray. "I have to go to work now, but if you need anything else, there's a little bell here for you, Teresa knows to listen for it", he gave her a kiss on the cheek and walked toward the door, turning back toward her for a second before he reached for the doorknob. "I love you Sue Ellen", although he stood closer to the door than he did to her, he still made eye contact as he spoke and Sue Ellen felt reassured that he truly meant it; it seemed a little strange to her that he had suddenly started saying those words freely again, but she was thrilled, not upset. It felt good to finally have his attention again, though it saddened her that she was in no physical condition to really enjoy it. Walking downstairs, JR was surprised to see Jock standing in the foyer speaking to the sheriff, "Fenton" he greeted him and stood next to the two men, joining their conversation; "JR", Sheriff Fenton Washburn was on first name basis with the Ewing family, though he wasn't sure that JR would necessarily be receptive to his request this morning. "As I was saying to your daddy, I need to get a statement from both Mrs Ewings, it's just standard procedure", JR sighed, Sue Ellen seemed ok this morning, but they had only stuck to safe topics of conversation, skipping over the accident entirely. He had to go to work this morning and he didn't particularly want to leave her when she was in an emotional state after giving her statement, which he was sure would be the case, she was an emotional woman and had barely had twenty-four hours to recover from the accident, he couldn't imagine her bouncing back that easily.

"Does it have to be today?" he didn't know whether it was her fault or not, but he didn't care, he felt protective of his wife and he didn't want anyone to cause her any more unnecessary pain, she'd already been through enough with the accident. "Look JR, just between us, although Mrs Ewing's car seems to have driven through the intersection without stopping at the stop sign, the driver of the other car was unlicensed and had no insurance. Right now, I can't make a clear judgement to say that one person was completely to blame, because both drivers committed an offence; however, with Mrs Ewing's statement, I can close the case, citing insufficient evidence to pursue charges. Braddock County doesn't have the resources or the patience to go after minor traffic offenders, and this was fairly minor, no one was seriously injured or killed and the damage to both vehicles was about even; so please, just let me see Mrs Ewing, gather a statement and close the case". JR nodded, he would have preferred that the other driver was charged with something, however, it sounded as if Sue Ellen had caused the accident, and the other driver had just been caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. It made him a little angry that Sue Ellen had been driving so recklessly and could have seriously injured herself or his mother, but the sheriff was right, the accident had been fairly minor in the grand scheme of things and it would probably do more harm than good to get angry at her now. "Fine, but let me go upstairs and tell her first, and please, no difficult questions, she's very fragile right now", JR showed more care for wife than he was usually comfortable with displaying, but he wasn't going to stand by and let anyone hurt her.

"Darlin'?" JR knocked on the door and entered their bedroom just as Sue Ellen was finishing her breakfast; Sue Ellen looked up at her husband in surprise, she'd expected him to have left the house ten minutes ago and his presence here now worried her, he was never late to work, something was wrong. "Sugar, the sheriff is here, he needs to get a statement about the accident. Don't worry, you're not in trouble, I promise, and I'll be sitting right there with you. All he needs is a few words from you about what happened, and then he'll close the case"; Sue Ellen nodded as JR spoke, she knew exactly what she was going to say, and none of it involved her talk with Miss Ellie or the subsequent tears that distracted her from the road. She just hoped that Miss Ellie also left out those details when she gave her statement. "I'll get dressed", she whispered before getting out of bed and walking over to her closet, wincing as she realised that her whole body was stiff and the last thing she wanted to do was get dressed and make herself look good, all she wanted was to go back to bed and sleep until she felt better. JR waited and watched as she changed into a casual outfit, brushed her hair and applied a small amount of makeup; she looked so young and vulnerable right now, but she was no less beautiful. As he watched her get ready, his gut reminded him of just how close she could have been to death yesterday and he felt guilty about not appreciating the simple moments in their life together; he truly did love her and losing her would have been heartbreaking.

"I… I turned for a second and then…." Sue Ellen explained her version of events, conveniently leaving out that she had been in tears and had barely even recognized that she was still driving the car; she honestly didn't really remember how she'd driven from SMU, through Richardson and toward Braddock, it was all a blur, one that she didn't particularly feel like revisiting. "And then?" the sheriff needed more information than that, though it was becoming increasingly clear that she hadn't been paying much attention to the road for a lot longer than the second that she claimed to have turned away for; "and then, nothing. I… I don't know. The next thing I remember is the doctor shining a light in my eyes at the hospital. I'm sorry, I really don't remember much else. The doctor said I have a concussion though, and memory loss is a symptom of that. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful", she continued to apologise for her lack of conclusive statement, hoping that the sheriff believed her; she knew that she was probably the cause of the accident, but she would never admit it. "Ok, thank you Mrs Ewing", he nodded at both she and JR and JR stood; helping his wife back upstairs, JR closed the bedroom door and was surprised when she started weeping again, "JR, it was all my fault, I don't remember it, but I know it. What if…" he didn't really know what to say, he'd had exactly the same thoughts, though it didn't seem appropriate to tell her that, "darlin', stop worrying about the past. Nothing happened; you're fine, mama's fine and the other driver's fine. There's nothing you can do now and imagining the worst case scenario isn't going to help anyone", he held her to his chest as she cried, no longer thinking about how late he was going to be when he finally arrived at work, for some reason, that just didn't seem important right now. "Shh", he whispered as she cried, though her breathing was getting steadier and she was beginning to calm, "darlin', I want you to change back into your nightgown and rest", he laid her down on the bed and opened her drawer, pulling out a nightgown and handing it to her.

Half an hour later, she was finally calm and asleep and he felt ok about leaving her alone for a while, Teresa was home, as was his mother, though he didn't want to burden her by asking her to take care of Sue Ellen, she had also been in the accident. Walking down the hall to his parent's bedroom, he knocked on the door, "mama?" Miss Ellie opened the door and was surprised to see JR still at home, she'd expected him to be at work by now, "JR? How's Sue Ellen?" JR sat down on the small couch in his parent's bedroom and explained everything, inferring that Sue Ellen needed someone to look after her while he was at work, though not directly asking his mother to be that person. Miss Ellie was surprised when JR alluded to Sue Ellen's fragile mental state, though she didn't say anything, from the way JR was speaking, it sounded as if he was referring to her shock and guilt related to the accident and that he didn't have any idea of how deep her real issues ran. "JR, I will look after Sue Ellen today and forever, I love her like my own daughter. However, when she's physically recovered, I really think you two need to sit down and talk to each other, and I don't mean five minutes before or after dinner or before you leave for the office in the morning, I mean set aside a good amount of time so that you two can really sit-down and talk. Perhaps you could take her away for the weekend or something, I think the time together would do both of you a world of good". JR was surprised, he didn't quite understand what his mother was getting at, though he didn't really have time to sit and discuss it right now, he'd already had his morning meetings delayed, he couldn't do the same for his afternoon meetings. "Sure mama", he gave her a kiss on the cheek and thanked her for her willingness to look out for Sue Ellen while he was gone before leaving the house and heading into the office. Miss Ellie sighed as JR left; although he appeared to be caring right now, she wondered how long it would be before he was back to being his usual self again, and whether Sue Ellen would have the emotional strength to open the discussion about their problems. She knew JR, he would never willingly be the one to start a dialogue about their issues, so it was up to Sue Ellen to be more outspoken and less submissive. She needed to be willing to say things aloud when they bothered her instead of bottling them up inside, otherwise they didn't have a hope in hell of fixing anything, no matter how much time they set aside to talk.

To be continued…


	176. Happy

**Dallas, Texas**

"How are you feeling darlin'?" JR watched his wife as she dressed and got ready for breakfast with the family, she looked and seemed as if she felt a lot better than she had a week ago, but he wanted to hear it from her before he came to any conclusions. "I feel wonderful. Thank you for looking after me", Sue Ellen walked over toward her husband and lightly kissed him on the lips; she couldn't believe how different he'd been acting this past week and she wanted him to know how much she appreciated his efforts. Since her accident, he had been loving and attentive to her needs, making sure that she had everything exactly as she liked and really making an effort to be an active participant in their marriage. He had been making a special effort to come home on time every night and had started spending whatever free time he had with her and they'd actually been having real conversations with each other, not just making superficial comments back and forth as they got ready for cocktails and dinner. He'd even started to tell her about the events in his day again, though only the good ones, he still didn't think it was good for her to worry about his business problems. Sue Ellen turned to walk back to her dresser, but she was stopped by JR's hand in hers, pulling her back to him, "any time darlin', I'm just glad that you're here and that you're healthy. I love you, you do know that don't you?" he looked straight into her eyes, before cupping her chin and leaning down to kiss her, starting off slowly but deepening it as they continued. "I… yes, and I love you too JR", she answered as their kiss ended; she was still surprised by his behaviour, but she wasn't going to question him, this was the man she wanted and she didn't want to break whatever good spell they were in by asking for an explanation.

"Good, now, I've got a surprise for you", he took her hand and led her out of the room, much to her surprise. Sue Ellen thought of protesting, she wasn't wearing any jewellery yet and by her own standards that meant that she wasn't ready for breakfast; however, she thought it best to just let him take her downstairs, he seemed excited to present her surprise to her. Leading her out onto the patio and then toward the driveway, Sue Ellen was confused, though her confusion quickly turned to excitement as she spotted the brand new black Camaro parked in the driveway, "JR!" she gasped and then hugged him tightly before leaving his side to examine the body of the car. "JR, my old car…" she was used to JR spending money on her, but it almost felt like too much for him to buy her a brand new car instead of just having her old one repaired, especially since she had been responsible for the damage to her old car. "Darlin', your old car wasn't worth the money it was going to cost to fix, and to be honest, I didn't feel comfortable with my wife driving around in a car with an accident history. I wanted to give you a gift, so I did. Now, will you take these keys off me so we can go for a drive before breakfast", he grinned and handed her the keys before opening the driver door for her.

"I love my new car, thank you JR", they returned from their drive around Southfork just as the rest of the family were sitting down for breakfast on the patio; "I'm just going upstairs to put my jewellery on, but I'll be back in a moment", she kissed him before walking back inside the house. Miss Ellie watched her son and daughter-in-law as they walked hand in hand from the driveway to the patio; they looked truly happy and she was pleased for them, but inside, she was still concerned about Sue Ellen's mental and emotional state. After the accident, Sue Ellen had gotten the care and attention from JR that she had been desiring, but Miss Ellie was worried that she would fall to pieces again when JR inevitably went back to his normal routine. Although they seemed to be on the same page with each other again, Miss Ellie highly doubted that JR and Sue Ellen had had any real conversation about the cause of the car crash, which even though she had told the sheriff otherwise, was certainly Sue Ellen's fault. The picture of the two of them happy was wonderful right now, and she dearly hoped that it stayed that way, but she had her doubts, and with Sue Ellen's tendency to hold all of her emotions inside of her, it was bound to end badly if they didn't change the way they communicated with each other. The girl that she had spoken with in the car before the accident was deeply troubled, and she highly doubted that all of those problems had just disappeared because JR was paying a proper amount of attention to his wife again. It was a recipe for disaster for them to not talk about their issues, even if they were in a good place presently. Miss Ellie held her tongue for now though, it didn't seem appropriate to say anything to JR in front of the rest of the family at breakfast, but she vowed to herself that she would encourage each of them to try a new style of communication in their marriage. All she wanted was the best for her family, and although they seemed happy right now, Sue Ellen had been clearly lost and miserable just a week ago and she sensed that she and JR were heading for an even bigger fall if they didn't make a permanent change.

"How was your day?" Sue Ellen gave her husband a quick kiss and handed him a drink as he entered their bedroom after work, "good, good. Bought some land, sold some land, made a lot of money" he grinned as he spoke, he'd had a good day at work and there was something about the way his wife was looking at him that gave him the feeling that his day was about to get even better. "Thanks for the drink darlin'", he returned her kiss and asked about her day, he had really started to enjoy their time together again for some reason and he was genuinely interested in hearing about how she was; the accident had reminded him of how much he loved her and how devastated he would have been if he'd lost her. JR stopped what he was doing as he took notice of Sue Ellen's actions, first as she walked into the closet to choose a dress for dinner and second as she stripped down into her underwear in preparation to change outfit. For the first time in months, JR Ewing had an uncontrollable urge to be with his wife; there was no plan or obligation, it was completely random, and it surprised him just as much as it surprised her. "JR?" Sue Ellen jumped as she turned and noticed him standing in the doorway of the closet, though she only had a second to react before he was kissing her, and by that time, she didn't really care to scold him for sneaking up on her. She didn't know what had all of a sudden come over him, but she didn't care, this was exactly what she'd been wanting for months and she wasn't going to complain or question it; she finally felt like she had her husband back.

To be continued…


	177. Dissimulation

**Dallas, Texas**

"Sue Ellen", Miss Ellie smiled and waved her daughter-in-law over toward the table by the pool, they were alone together at Southfork and now seemed as good a time as any to continue their discussion from a week and a half ago, "join me for some iced tea?" Sue Ellen smiled as she sat down at the table, she was happy and content, everything seemed to be right in her life again, and all of a sudden, the monotony of her daily activities was less bothersome. Instead of worrying about what she was going to do with her time or having someone to talk to, she found herself thinking about the time she and JR had been spending together and counting down the minutes until she saw him next. Although she had never lost her focus, it was now more pronounced; she was constantly working and thinking of ways she could improve herself so that he was pleased with her when he did see her again; she loved when JR payed attention to her, it gave her great satisfaction to know that he cared and appreciated her efforts. Her former problems felt like a distant memory right now and she assumed that the way she had been feeling a few weeks ago was just a hurdle in her life, one that she had overcome and she no longer had to worry or think about. With the Ewing barbecue next weekend and her extra DOA activities, she would be occupied for a good while, and then it would be Thanksgiving, the start of the holiday season and the beginning of a full social schedule for her and JR and the rest of the Ewing family.

Since the accident, her imagination and hope had come back to her; no longer did her thoughts and fantasies about her life with JR seem unrealistic like they had in the past few months, now, they seemed as if they really did were possible and hopefully probable. With the way JR had been acting lately, it gave her hope that her fantasies about the kind of life she had always wanted, and specifically, the life she wanted with JR, were finally realistic. She had a husband and family who loved her; they were more than financially stable and they lived in a lovely home; she had her health and her youth; she had a good circle of social acquaintances and activities to fill her time; and with any luck, she would make new, real friends when she had a child. The temporary loneliness she had been feeling was just that, temporary; there was so much more waiting for her in the future and for the first time in a long time, she actually felt good about the reality of her life. Her renewed sense of hope and her new positive outlook on life made her feel optimistic and happy, and with the renewed frequency of their marital activities, she hoped that she and JR could give her mother, Jock and Miss Ellie the news they'd been waiting for. With Christmas just three and a half months away, it would make the perfect occasion to give their families the news of the ultimate gift. The way their marriage had been lately was what she could only describe as perfect, and a child, namely a son, would be the icing on the cake, the one thing that would complete and validate their life as a married couple and her place in the Ewing family.

"It's a beautiful day isn't it?" Sue Ellen commented on the weather not just because it was a conversation starter, but because she really thought that things seemed brighter and happier lately. "It is. Southfork is always beautiful, but I think I love the late summer and early fall the best", Miss Ellie decided that it was best to get all of the introductory comments out of the way before she approached the subject that she really wanted to talk about. However, as they spoke, covering a lot of different topics, Miss Ellie began to question whether she was doing the right thing in planning to ask Sue Ellen to continue their conversation from before the accident. Sue Ellen seemed so happy right now and she would hate to be the one to ruin her mood by reminding her of her less pleasant thoughts and feelings. Her thoughts were brought into the present moment as Sue Ellen spoke, "have you decided what you'll wear for the barbecue yet? I was thinking of going into Dallas tomorrow to do a little shopping; we could make a day of it if you'd like to", Sue Ellen smiled and hoped that Miss Ellie said yes. In the back of her mind, she knew that she didn't really have any friends, so she compensated with the companionship of her husband and her in-laws, however, that didn't even cross her mind as she asked, she really did enjoy Miss Ellie's company. "No, I haven't, and I'd love to, but unfortunately, I can't tomorrow. Punk and Mavis are redecorating their home, so Mavis and I are going to look at new furnishings tomorrow; she wants a second opinion before purchasing a few things. Punk's exactly like Jock, he'll give you hell about furniture or décor that he doesn't like, but only when you've bought it and placed it in the house already. So in an effort to avoid that mistake again, the next time you have to buy something for the home, you suggest going shopping together, and then all of a sudden decorating is a woman's job again", she laughed as she finished speaking, though she felt bad as she watched Sue Ellen's face drop. "Oh", Sue Ellen subconsciously spoke before faking a laugh at Miss Ellie's story and attempting to hide her disappointment behind a false smile. "That's ok; the barbecue isn't until Saturday. Perhaps we could go later in the week?" she gave a weak smile as her mood deflated.

She felt silly as she realised that she was jealous of the friendship Miss Ellie and Mavis had, they were close friends and so were their husbands; she didn't really know the history behind their relationship, but it seemed nice that Jock and Miss Ellie could spend time together even when they were spending time with their friends. For a moment, she found herself wishing that JR had more friends, or even just one real friend, one who was married and they could do couple activities with; it would have made her life easier if she already had an established social circle to join when she became his wife. However, JR didn't seem to really do the whole friendship thing, but unlike her, he had a lot of people and things in his life to occupy his time, she doubted that he was lonely or dissatisfied, he never appeared to be. In all the time she had known him, and from the stories she had heard about his life before her, it didn't appear that JR really considered anyone to be a real friend. He had business and social acquaintances, he had his family, and as much as she hated to think about it, before her, he had a long list of women to 'keep him company'; but none of those people were close enough for him to just hang out with and therefore include her in his plans. As much as she hadn't wanted it to and she didn't think it had reason to, the loneliness she had been feeling before the accident was starting to return; she wasn't as satisfied with her life as she had tried to convince herself that she was.

"Sure, I'm only busy tomorrow; though on Friday I'll be busy here, getting all the last minute details sorted for the barbecue. How about after the DOA meeting on Thursday?" Miss Ellie watched as Sue Ellen's mood improved when she proposed a new time for them to go shopping; before the accident, she hadn't fully realised just how co-dependent Sue Ellen was, but she did now, and it seemed awfully sad. It wasn't that she minded going shopping with her daughter-in-law, in fact, she enjoyed spending time with her, but it seemed sad that a twenty four year old woman's best choice for shopping companion was her mid-fifties mother-in-law. Truthfully, they had little in common apart from their family connection; they didn't even really share the same taste in clothing, so it screamed lonely when Miss Ellie was the closest thing to a friend that Sue Ellen could find. It was clear from the way she spoke that she had no close friends, or anyone of her own age that she could call when she wanted to make plans. However, she really believed that Sue Ellen had a lot to offer in a friendship and had the ability to be truly happy if she could find the self-confidence and independence to make a few changes in her life. "After the DOA meeting on Thursday it is", Sue Ellen felt temporarily happier as she and Miss Ellie made plans, but the loneliness that she had been burying and ignoring was beginning to return; she would never admit it to herself, but she needed more than just JR's love and attention. Miss Ellie watched Sue Ellen as they talked, it appeared that there was a lot going on in her mind right now, but somehow it didn't seem the time to say anything. She had a feeling that questioning Sue Ellen about her life choices at this moment in time would be more harmful than helpful; though that didn't mean that she didn't plan on having that discussion with her at some point in time, it seemed like a necessary step.

To be continued…


	178. Gossip and Criticism

**Dallas, Texas**

"…you just have to try their smoked salmon, its heavenly", Miss Ellie stood and listened to the group of women chatting about the restaurants of Dallas as they mingled after the DOA meeting. Adding her own comments where necessary, but mostly just half-listening, she looked around the room, spotting Sue Ellen deep in a conversation with a few other ladies. She was pleased when she recognized the look on Sue Ellen's face, she looked happy, actually happy, not just fake happy; being in the DOA was good for her, it provided both social interaction and validation in her life. As she watched Sue Ellen, her thoughts wandered to the situation that she was sure was still an issue, because in her mind, there was no way that Sue Ellen had just gotten over all of her issues without actively working through them. With those thoughts came a new problem though, her own confliction and confusion; there never seemed to be a right time for the conversation that she believed they needed to have. There were times when Sue Ellen seemed sad, lonely and depressed, and she felt completely awful for her; but there were other times, like now, that she could barely recognize that Sue Ellen was the same woman, there wasn't a hint of unhappiness in the way she presented herself. It was confusing and she had mixed feelings about what the right course of action was; on one hand, if she had the conversation when Sue Ellen was down, then she risked magnifying whatever feelings Sue Ellen did have and worsening the effects they were having on her life. On the other hand, she didn't really want to ruin Sue Ellen's good mood and apparent current happiness by bringing her thoughts back to her problems. She felt an obligation as Sue Ellen's new mother figure to look after her and make sure that she knew she didn't have to suffer alone, however, every time she thought about doing it, it seemed that the timing, context or location was just totally inappropriate for the reality of the conversation. Sighing to herself, she turned her attention back to the conversation, she would talk to Sue Ellen eventually, she just had to find the right time to do it.

After the DOA meeting, the two women headed into Dallas to do a little shopping, each purchasing a new outfit for the barbecue. Looking at her watch, Sue Ellen realised that it was almost three in the afternoon and she was hungry; they had had light refreshments while they mingled after the DOA meeting and had then gone shopping, getting caught up in moving between stores, not realising the time. "How about we go for coffee?" Sue Ellen suggested, she was enjoying being out doing something and she didn't particularly want to race back to Southfork just because they were finished shopping. Truthfully, there was nothing urgent waiting for her at the ranch and it made her feel better when she had something to occupy her time. Lucy was often at her friends' houses after school now, JR wouldn't be home from work until after five, and the swimming pool, horses, books and magazines weren't going anywhere; she just didn't see the need to leave just yet. "Good idea", Miss Ellie commented and the two left the store they were in, walking a short distance down the street and entering a small café.

"…and then Shirley said that their marriage is just for show, that neither of them have been very faithful to their wedding vows or really want to be married to each other anymore, but they won't separate because they both have more to lose from a divorce than they have to gain. He's trapped in the marriage because technically her father owns the company he works for and he'd have to start in a much lower position with a different company if they divorced. Then, on her side, she won't leave him because being her father's only child, and a daughter at that, the inheritance she is set to gain when her father dies is dependent on her being married, with her husband running the company and their son joining the company when he graduates college, she'd jeopardize everything with a divorce. Therefore, despite their dissatisfaction and lax commitment, they both just pretend to be happily married, because it's better than losing everything; but underneath all of that, they're almost strangers, and apparently neither of them really cares what the other one thinks. Can you believe that?" Sue Ellen recounted the story with glee as she and Miss Ellie finished their coffee, she liked to think that she was a nice person who just enjoyed a little bit of harmless gossip, however, from Miss Ellie's facial expression, it didn't appear that she felt the same way. "Sue Ellen!" Miss Ellie scolded, "you shouldn't speak like that; I'm sure it's hard enough for Marie to have problems in her marriage without having to listen to other people gossiping about it. It sounds to me like Shirley had been told these things in confidence, and I'm disappointed in both of you for further spreading them around. Think about how you would feel if I told everyone about the problems you and JR have; you wouldn't like it very much would you?" Sue Ellen was surprised and embarrassed, she'd only ever felt the motherly side of Miss Ellie in a kind, caring way, but right now she felt like a teenager being reprimanded and she didn't like it very much. "I… I'm sorry Miss Ellie, I didn't think of it like that", she looked down at the table and thought about what Miss Ellie had said, suddenly feeling defensive and needing to have the final word, she added in a whisper, "however, JR and I don't have any problems, our marriage is perfect".

Miss Ellie didn't know what to say, she didn't enjoy Sue Ellen's backchat or attitude, but in a way, she almost felt sorry for her; she wasn't sure whether Sue Ellen tried hard to make her marriage appear perfect, or whether she truly believed that it was, but either way, her words had been false. "No marriage is perfect Sue Ellen, least of all yours; you'd do well to remember that", she spoke in a vaguely warning tone and Sue Ellen was stunned, she didn't know how the conversation had turned so serious all of a sudden, in her mind, they had just been casually chatting, and now her marriage was being called into question. "I know that Miss Ellie, however, JR and I are very happy together and there probably wouldn't be very much for people to gossip about; that's all I meant by my comment", she smiled, though she didn't feel entirely happy. She wasn't sure whether the feeling in the pit of her stomach had to do with her upset about Miss Ellie's accusations, or whether it was because, deep down, she knew that her comments held a lot of truth. Miss Ellie sighed, frustrated by Sue Ellen's denial; she hadn't planned on having this conversation right now, but it looked as if now was the time anyway, "really? Is that how you honestly feel? Because I have to say, it didn't sound as if your marriage was entirely happy a few weeks ago when you burst into tears on the way home from a DOA meeting, getting so emotional that you turned your attention away from the road and caused an accident". Sue Ellen cast her eyes down at the table as Miss Ellie spoke, she wasn't really saying anything that she didn't already know, but that didn't make her words any less painful, "I…" She didn't really have a defence for herself, she and JR did have a few problems in the past, but as of right now, they were in a reasonably good place, and she didn't want to think back and remind herself about the bad side of their relationship. Miss Ellie noticed Sue Ellen's reaction and felt a little guilty, "I'm sorry Sue Ellen, that didn't come out in the way I had intended. I don't blame you for that accident, nor am I condemning you for having problems; all I meant was that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage, and criticising someone else's marriage doesn't improve your own marriage". Sue Ellen looked back up at her mother-in-law, she appeared to be genuinely apologising, though it didn't make her feel any better, all the problems she had buried were at the forefront of her mind again now, "I understand, thank you", she paused, not knowing what else to say, "are you finished your coffee? We should probably leave before the traffic gets too heavy"; the look in her eyes told Miss Ellie everything she needed to know, their conversation was over for now, "yes, let's go".

Arriving back at Southfork after a mostly silent journey home, Miss Ellie touched Sue Ellen's hand to stop her for a moment as they arrived at the top of the staircase, "I'm not the enemy Sue Ellen, I love you like a daughter, and that means that I just want what's best for you; I want you to be happy. I know you don't want to talk about it right now, but I want you to know that I'm here for you if you ever need someone to talk to, or even just to listen", she squeezed her hand before letting go. "Thank you Miss Ellie; I'm sorry I appeared rude earlier, it was wrong for me to say those things", Sue Ellen waited a moment for Miss Ellie to smile and acknowledge her words before she turned to walk back to her room. "Oh, Sue Ellen, one more thing" Miss Ellie called her back, needing to make sure that Sue Ellen understood that burying her problems wasn't a long-term solution, "whether you talk to me or not is completely your choice to make, however, I do think that you and JR need to talk. Putting in a little bit of extra effort to communicate your feelings can go a long way, because you'd be surprised how many things men don't understand or don't think about. If you tell him how you feel as you feel things and don't bottle them up and let them become bigger issues, you'll save yourself a lot of time and worry. By talking to each other, you may very well find out that he really has no idea that certain things upset you; its natural, men don't analyse things like we women do, so sometimes we need to stop thinking so hard and start communicating at a more basic level. I promise, talking to him cannot make anything worse and should ideally only improve your relationship", she finished speaking and Sue Ellen nodded, "thank you Miss Ellie", she responded quietly before opening the door to their bedroom and entering, leaning back against the door as it closed.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thanks for all the recent reviews :) T****o reviewer Alexia, yes ;)**


	179. Mothers and Daughters

**Dallas, Texas**

"Oh Ellie, Southfork is so beautiful, thank you for inviting us", Patricia sat opposite Miss Ellie at the table outside by the pool, "it's nice to have you here again; you know you and Kristin are always welcome, Sue Ellen is family now, this is her home too", Miss Ellie smiled politely as they made small talk. She wasn't entirely comfortable around Patricia, but she knew how to be a gracious hostess and how to socialise with people even when she didn't particularly care for them. Patricia sighed dramatically, "yes, well I'm glad you feel that way; sometimes I get the feeling that Sue Ellen would rather separate her two families than think of both of them as one. She doesn't visit nearly as much as I'd like her too, and with Kristin's schedule, it's difficult for us to make the trip to Dallas more than every few months. I'd like to be more involved in her life, but she's so closed off", her comment sounded somewhat caring, as if she missed her daughter and just wanted to spend time with her, though Miss Ellie sensed that there was something more to it than that. "Yes, I know what it's like to miss a child, my son Gary, Lucy's father, he's not around nearly as much as I'd like him to be. In fact, all of my sons, they're grown men now, but that doesn't mean we as parents stop being interested in their lives. Perhaps you and Sue Ellen could agree to make more phone calls to each other, so that when you can't arrange your schedules for in-person visits, at least you're still involved in each other's lives", Miss Ellie smiled and hoped that Patricia took her advice. A phone call wasn't too time consuming, stressful or invasive, and for the relationship Sue Ellen appeared to have with her mother, it was probably better that they didn't spend too much time in the same physical location; Sue Ellen never seemed fully relaxed around her mother, and more stress was exactly what she didn't need right now. "I think I'll do that, I'd like to be more involved in her life", Patricia smiled and answered sincerely, though there was a hidden meaning to her words; truthfully, although Dallas was only a one hour flight from Austin, she felt completely removed from Sue Ellen, and she didn't like the loss of control.

"JR, daddy says we have to be out of here in five minutes, he wants us to all be home on time tonight, no exceptions", Bobby opened the door to JR's office and JR cringed as his brother reminded him of their dinner commitments. This evening was one that he wasn't particularly looking forward to, Patricia and Kristin were in Dallas for the weekend and his mother had planned a special family dinner, one that she expected everyone to be on time for. Although he and Sue Ellen were on good terms with each other at the moment, their relationship was always a little strained when Patricia was around, she was a stressor in Sue Ellen's life, and that meant that she was a stressor in his life too. Finishing his paperwork and tidying his desk, he sighed and poured himself a small drink, downing it before leaving his office and meeting his father and brother in the reception area. Arriving back at Southfork, JR took a deep breath before he entered the house, "Patricia, Kristin, how nice to see you again, you're both looking lovely tonight", he turned on his Texan charm as he greeted his wife's family, "oh JR", Patricia accepted his compliment with ease, pretending to be embarrassed, but secretly loving the attention. Looking around the room, his eyes locked on Sue Ellen's and he sighed, she already looked miserable, and her family had only been in Dallas for six hours. Unfortunately for Sue Ellen, she still had a whole weekend of entertaining and hosting her family before she could feel comfortable and relaxed again; she was on edge, though it wasn't entirely obvious to everyone else, the smile on her face making it difficult for someone less experienced to detect her unhappiness. "I made you a drink", Sue Ellen walked over to JR and handed him the glass, "thank you darlin'", JR gave her a kiss on the cheek and took her hand, leading her toward the couch where they sat for the rest of the cocktail hour before moving on to dinner.

Sue Ellen sighed to herself as she changed into her nightgown and robe before walking into the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face; the good mood she had been in for the past week was quickly deteriorating, first with Miss Ellie's words to her yesterday, and then with the arrival of her mother and sister today. JR lay in bed as Sue Ellen moved around the room before bed; after being married for just over a year and a half, he still didn't quite understand what exactly took her so long to get herself ready, for the day, for dinner, for bed, for anything, though he'd given up trying to understand it a long time ago. Instead of thinking about it, he'd gotten into the habit of reading every night before bed, well, on the nights that he was at home at least. However, tonight, he couldn't concentrate on the words on the page, he was too distracted by Sue Ellen's sighing and loud closing of drawers; it was apparent from the way she was moving around the room that she was frustrated or upset, though he wasn't sure which one it was. Walking out of the bathroom, Sue Ellen untied her robe and laid it aside before slipping into bed next to her husband; sighing, she gave him a kiss on the cheek, told him she loved him and said goodnight, turning off the light and laying down to go to sleep. JR was surprised at how little she seemed to want to interact with him, she was usually the one pushing him to talk, always asking him about his day and interested in his stories, but today, she had barely said a word; it was just so unlike her. After a few moments thinking about it, he decided to just let her be, if she really wanted to talk, then she would say something, and if she didn't, then she wouldn't; so instead of saying anything, he just lay down and closed his eyes, ready for a nice, quiet night's sleep.

He may have had a plan to sleep quietly, but apparently Sue Ellen didn't, and after her third sigh and fourth change of position, he began to get irritated, eventually deciding that the silence needed to be broken; flicking on his bedside lamp, he spoke, "are you all right darlin'? You seem… tense". Sue Ellen sighed again, "I'm fine…" she responded in the way she always did, before she heard Miss Ellie's voice in her head again and reconsidered, "it's not you, I promise…" she took a deep breath before continuing, "it's my mother. I'd almost forgotten what it was like to be around her, but I remember now, and I feel like I have to control everything I do or say, even the small things. Frankly, it's exhausting", she actually felt a little better as she verbalised her problem, perhaps Miss Ellie had been right about not bottling everything up. JR groaned inwardly as she spoke, Patricia had a real talent for causing distress, and Sue Ellen didn't deal well with negative emotions, they were a terrible match for each other; "darlin', I don't know what she did or said, but just ignore her, she's not worth the worry. You have nothing to prove to your mother anymore, you're my wife now and I'm very happy with you just the way you are; your mother is no longer the number one authority figure in your life. Now, would it make you feel any better if I told you that I don't like your mother very much either?" he joked, not really knowing what else to say. Sue Ellen laughed lightly, "no, not really, but thank you for listening", she moved closer to him, "and you're right, I know I shouldn't care so much about what she thinks. I guess she just knows how to get to me, and she puts in every effort to make me feel inferior", she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek; "good", JR replied before pulling her closer to him and kissing her lightly on the lips. As their kiss ended, Sue Ellen felt a lot better; although JR hadn't even really said anything very helpful, she felt calmer just knowing that she didn't have to deal with her problems all alone. "I'm sorry I disturbed your sleep", she whispered, "I know you're probably tired from work, and we have the barbecue tomorrow, so l promise, I'll stay still and actually go to sleep now. I love you". JR smiled to himself, he didn't completely understand women, and he didn't really understand why it had, but whatever he'd done had obviously been good for her, and he wasn't going to question it, "I love you too darlin'", he moved and turned off the bedside lamp before laying back down, pulling her toward him as he fell asleep.

To be continued…


	180. Ewing Barbecue Five

**Dallas, Texas**

"Bacon, eggs, toast, fruit salad, coffee and juice? Are you sure you want to eat that much? You'll already be eating so much at the barbecue, and you know you won't have time to do a lot of exercise today", Patricia looked at the food Teresa placed in front of Sue Ellen and Sue Ellen blushed, hating that her mother could make her feel embarrassed about something that wasn't even her doing. Miss Ellie cringed as she listened to Patricia judge and criticise Sue Ellen's eating habits, she was much too harsh on her daughter and it was completely unnecessary, Sue Ellen was tall and slender and was physically active enough that a few pieces of bacon and some eggs at breakfast weren't going to hurt her. The rest of the family watched uncomfortably as Sue Ellen's mother criticised her and Sue Ellen said nothing in her own defence, instead just looking down at her plate uneasily before passing it to JR for him to eat. Signalling to Teresa that she didn't need to prepare a plate for JR anymore, she picking up her fork and began to eat her fruit salad instead. JR looked from his wife to his mother and then to his mother-in-law before sighing to himself and passing Sue Ellen's plate back to her, "don't be ridiculous" he spoke mainly to Patricia, but he also thought the other two women at the table were acting stupidly, "the barbecue lunch isn't served until after one, that's hours away. I won't have my wife fainting from hunger", he glared at Patricia and looked at Sue Ellen to make sure she was eating before changing the topic of conversation, "now, what time are our guests arriving?"

Miss Ellie stopped walking as she passed JR and Sue Ellen's bedroom door on her way to her own bedroom; she knew she shouldn't, but she couldn't help but stop to listen as she heard Sue Ellen's sobs inside the room. "…what did I tell you, just ignore her, she's not worth getting upset about…" she smiled to herself as she listened to her eldest son's words of encouragement and comfort toward his wife. She had been worried about their communication and she still wasn't convinced that they had sorted out the issues in their marriage, but she was proud and glad that they seemed to be communicating on some level. If she had time to sit and analyse the situation, she assumed that her investigation would probably conclude that the way Patricia treated her daughter explained a good amount of why Sue Ellen was the way she was. "I…I know, it's just so hard. She was partially right, I won't have much time to exercise today, and I don't want to get fat…" she continued to cry and Miss Ellie felt a little guilty standing outside the door, however, she didn't want to leave until she heard what JR had to say, she needed to make sure Sue Ellen was properly taken care of. JR paused before he responded, looking at his wife as if she were crazy; he didn't understand women sometimes, she was making something small into something huge, despite the fact that he was telling her everything she needed to hear. "Women…" he muttered to himself before wiping away her tears, "look, you're not going to get fat… I'll make sure of it", he grinned at her mischievously before moving toward her quickly, taking hold of her shoulders and then kissing her, slowly guiding her back toward the bed. "JR!" she pulled back for a second in surprise before resuming their physical contact; she was stunned by his behaviour, though not upset by it, his touch and especially his kisses had a particular way of distracting her, and by the time he had her lying on the bed, all thoughts of her mother were ancient history.

Miss Ellie stood outside the door, listening and waiting for the rest of JR's explanation, his response hadn't sounded particularly supportive and she was worried about Sue Ellen's emotional state, especially when Sue Ellen said his name with such a confused inflection. "Sue Ellen?" she lightly knocked on the door and grew more concerned when she received no response, however, opening the door, she blushed as she realised why neither JR nor Sue Ellen had responded to her, they were occupied with something much more interesting than talking about Patricia Shepard. JR pulled away from Sue Ellen as he heard the door closing and was a little annoyed that someone had just walked into the room without properly announcing themselves, and even more annoyed that he didn't know who that person was. However, with his wife pinned underneath him and the effects of their kiss beginning to appear in other places, the idea of walking out into the hallway to investigate was wholly unappealing. "JR?" Sue Ellen blushed as she watched him looking at the door, she hadn't heard anything, but from his expression, it seemed obvious what had happened; "you know, I never really considered it before, but we probably shouldn't just rely on common courtesy to keep people out", he joked, hoping that whatever had just happened hadn't killed the mood. "Mm, you're probably right", Sue Ellen responded, less embarrassed now, it could have been a lot worse than it was, and if she was honest, talking was the last thing she wanted to be doing right now. "I'm always right; now darlin', where were we?" JR turned his attention back to his wife and resumed their kisses; they had at least forty five minutes before they had to be downstairs, plenty of time for them to get that exercise Patricia was so insistent Sue Ellen have, and still be ready in time to welcome the first guests.

"Dance with me darlin'", Sue Ellen jumped as JR appeared behind her, whispering in her ear before taking her hand and excusing them from the group of people she had been chatting to. The barbecue was now in full swing and although she had accompanied him for the first hour of socialising with their guests, she had been making her own rounds for the past two hours. Although unexpected, his presence now wasn't a bad thing; she'd always rather spend time with JR than with people she only vaguely knew and was only talking to out of social obligation, and she was pleased that he'd come to find her. Technically the annual barbecue was supposed to be a fun event, a time to just relax and enjoy some good food and good company, however, being a Ewing meant that she had a responsibility not only to enjoy herself, but to make sure that everyone else did too. As she danced with JR, she began to relax, realising that it was the first time all day that she had really spent any time thinking about her own happiness, allowing herself to just enjoy the party for what it was, without the added pressure of playing the part of the perfect hostess. Across the patio, Miss Ellie stood talking to a few people, casually observing the happenings around her; it pleased her to see Lucy including Kristin in her group of friends, and Bobby dancing with a girl she recognized as the daughter of one of the state senators. However, what pleased her most was the image of JR and Sue Ellen dancing with each other, looking more in love than they had in months. Before she had a chance to think about or try to further analyse the change in their relationship, her attention was drawn away from the happy couple, over to the swimming pool where the inevitable and expected fight of the day was happening. Although she disliked violence and thought it was childish to throw someone into a swimming pool, she had to laugh to herself; it just wouldn't have been a Ewing Barbecue without someone ending up in the pool, it was an unintentional tradition now.

To be continued…


	181. Women's Intuition

**Dallas, Texas**

"It's just two nights darlin', I'll be back on Friday", JR sighed as he opened and closed his drawers and gathered a few things from his closet for his business trip to Houston, he somewhat understood why she was upset, but he didn't enjoy being made to feel guilty about having an important job. "I thought travelling out of town was Bobby's job? Why do you have to go?" Sue Ellen's rational mind knew that two days really wasn't very long and she'd survived longer without him before, but her selfish, emotional mind wasn't ready to give him up and let him go just yet. They'd had a blissfully happy past few weeks, ever since the accident at the end of August, he'd been attentive and loving, and now, in mid-October, she was back to feeling like one of the top priorities on his list again. She enjoyed having a husband who was present in her life and she didn't particularly like the idea of him leaving town, even if it was just for a few days, because in her previous experience, when JR started to work above and beyond normal business hours, their relationship as a married couple was the thing that suffered the most. "Sue Ellen", he sighed frustratedly, "we've had this conversation before; I need you to just take my word and not argue with me. I have to go, it's important business and it's not something I want Bobby negotiating. Daddy is relying on me to go there and fix the problems, so I have enough on my mind without you nagging me too. Now, I'm going to leave Dallas, go to my meetings and then come home, it's not a big deal, it's just something that I personally need to handle. So please, just relax, don't worry about me and before you know it I'll be home again. Ok?" he looked at her expressionlessly, not in the mood to have a long discussion right now. "Ok", Sue Ellen whispered, the look on JR's face told her everything she needed to know, his business trip was not up for discussion and she was better off just accepting it and doing as he said, two days really wasn't that long anyway. "Good girl", he kissed her on the cheek before turning his attention back to his packing, dismissing any further discussion on that topic.

Sue Ellen felt awkward as she stood next to her husband, unsure of what to do now; he was so self-sufficient and independent, he never seemed to really need her for anything; in contrast, she was clingy and dependent and she always looked to him for approval or guidance on her decisions. Zipping his suitcase, he turned to look at her and his mood softened, she looked young and lost, almost like a child, "two days darlin', you'll be fine. I'll tell you what though, to make up for the time I'm gone, we'll do something special together on Saturday. Maybe dinner and the theatre, or the symphony. Or we can do something during the day if you'd like. You decide. That can be your little task for the next couple of days, it'll occupy your thoughts so much that you won't even have time to miss me", he chuckled lightly and kissed her once more before carrying his bag to the door and going to find Raoul. Sue Ellen stood quietly in their bedroom as he temporarily left the room, unsure of how to feel right now. Part of her hated the way he patronized her and treated her like a child, as if she needed a special task to make her feel important, but what was worse in her mind was the fact that he had been right, the little task he assigned to her did make her happy, and she hated herself for that. Leaving the room, she followed him downstairs to say goodbye before he left. Watching his car drive down the driveway, she felt a tear falling down her cheek and felt silly for crying, JR had done everything to convince her that it wasn't a big deal and she had come around to his way of thinking, yet for some odd reason she was still upset and had the uncontrollable urge to cry.

Sitting down at the breakfast table on Thursday morning, Sue Ellen began to read the society pages in the newspaper as she waited for Teresa to get her breakfast. "Oh, Miss Ellie, look at this… Nancy and Victor got engaged… it says here that it happened last Friday, she certainly kept that quiet didn't she", she handed Miss Ellie the newspaper as she finished speaking, just as Teresa placed the plate of bacon and eggs down in front of her. "I'm sorry, excuse me", Sue Ellen didn't know what came over her, but she suddenly felt nauseated and had a strong feeling that if she stayed by the table any longer, it would not be a pleasant experience for anyone. "What was that all about?" Jock looked up from his newspaper as Sue Ellen ran out of the dining room and back upstairs; "maybe she's secretly in love with Victor, whoever he is, and the thought of him getting engaged was enough to make her sick", Lucy cracked a joke and laughed, though no one else joined her. "She did look a little pale when she came downstairs", Miss Ellie looked toward the stairs with a concerned look, "perhaps I should go check on her", she stood, intending on going upstairs, though she paused when Bobby spoke, "mama, perhaps we should just leave her for a moment. If she's sick then she's not going to want anyone seeing her like that, and if she's not, then she'll come downstairs in a minute", although he was concerned for his sister-in-law, Bobby saw things a little more rationally and less emotionally than his mother did and his words convinced her to wait a moment before doing anything else.

A few minutes later, Bobby and Jock stood, gathered their things and headed to work, walking out of the foyer just as Sue Ellen walked back downstairs; re-entering the dining room, she breathed entirely though her mouth, just knowing that if she didn't she would be back in the bathroom again. "I'm sorry about that Miss Ellie, I don't know what came over me", she looked at Miss Ellie and smiled before turning toward Teresa, thankful that her former plate had been cleared, "I think I'll just have coffee this morning; thank you Teresa". Miss Ellie watched Sue Ellen as she re-entered the room, pleased that she appeared to have a little more colour in her cheeks now and didn't appear to have suffered too much from whatever it was that she was doing upstairs. As Sue Ellen apologised and gave a quick explanation for her sudden absence, she began to run through possible diagnoses in her mind, her hopeful conclusion only further supported by Sue Ellen's request only for coffee and not for food. "You don't need to apologise, I'm just pleased that you're feeling better now", she smiled knowingly, though she said nothing that hinted toward her assumptions; she had learnt the hard way that saying something too soon always came back to bite her, and this time she really didn't want anything to go wrong.

To be continued…


	182. Enceinte?

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen gasped as she looked at the dates on her calendar, she felt anxious, scared, optimistic and excited all at the same time and she hoped beyond hope that she wasn't setting herself up for another disappointment. She had officially missed her period last month, and she was now four days late this month; although in her heart she was sure that that meant something, her rational mind was still unconvinced. Despite all the signs pointing to the logical conclusion, that this time it was actually real and she really was finally pregnant, she felt like it made sense for her to still be at least a little sceptical, she had believed her body and her calendar before and she had been wrong. It was an assumption that had caused her great pain and disappointment and she wasn't sure she would be able to handle that kind of news again. She and JR had been married for just over a year and eight months and in her mind it didn't even make sense that it had taken this long, everyone including her doctor had been so positive that it would just happen, but it hadn't. However, lately she had been emotional, sensitive to smell, sick and if she were honest with herself, she had gained a pound despite not dramatically changing anything about her diet; if it wasn't real this time, then she wasn't sure it would ever be real. "Sue Ellen?" she jumped as she heard Miss Ellie knocking on the bedroom door and she quickly opened the drawer on her bedside table and placed the small planner notebook back inside, she wasn't certain of anything just yet and she couldn't deal with Miss Ellie questioning her about the calendar she was looking at. "I'm sorry, I'm ready now, let's go", she opened the door and walked into the hallway as if she had just been getting ready for the DOA meeting, not letting on that she had just had a life-changing revelation, she wasn't ready to share that news just yet.

"I'm so glad you're home; I missed you", Sue Ellen rushed downstairs as she heard the sound of JR's car parking in the driveway, meeting him just as he walked toward the house. JR looked at his wife confusedly as she walked toward him quickly and threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly. He'd only been gone for two days and he'd even called her last night to check in with her, but from the way she was acting, it appeared that she had genuinely missed him and had been eagerly awaiting his return home. The sincerity and depth of her emotions startled him, of course he loved her, but he never felt the same deep need to be with her all the time as she did with him, and the way she acted when they reunited still surprised him. However, he couldn't say it didn't please him to know that she was so deeply in love with him, her actions had a certain way of boosting his ego and reconfirming his assumptions about their relationship. Although he may not have been entirely faithful to her, he had no doubt that he was the only man she had ever been with and was the only man she was interested in being with, and those were two very appealing thoughts. Pulling back from their hug, he looked at her more closely, there was something different about the way she was carrying herself today, though he couldn't pinpoint exactly what that something was. Taking her excitement and general good mood at face value, he decided not to analyse the situation too much right now, instead, hooking his arm around her waist and pulling her into a slow, romantic kiss, one that quickly developed into something more fiery and passionate. As their kiss ended and they separated, JR's mind went into overdrive and he began to question exactly what had happened in the two days he'd been gone. He had never known Sue Ellen to be so direct with what she wanted, she was usually a follower, not a leader, but today, that was different; he may have been the one to start the kiss, but it had soon become clear that he wasn't the one controlling their actions, though surprisingly, he didn't really mind. There was something about her newfound forwardness that he found appealing, though he didn't really know why, he usually disliked when women tried to control a situation, even a non-sexual one. However, with Sue Ellen's earlier mood, he assumed that she was just overly excited to see him and wasn't trying as hard to repress her emotions as she usually did, and for that, he couldn't be upset with her, he loved that she wanted him so much, it made him feel special and important.

"I don't know what happened while I was away, but if this is the welcome I get when I return after just two days, then perhaps I should leave town more often", he grinned as he spoke, though he felt a little bad as he watched her expression change from ecstatic to concerned and almost depressed at the thought. "Please don't", Sue Ellen whispered as she looked at the ground, she knew he was joking, but that didn't stop her from wanting to cry; she couldn't control it, her emotions had been all over the place lately, and she now had a fair idea why that was. JR looked at his wife's face, completely confused about what had just happened, only a few seconds ago she had been a strong, sexy woman, but now, she was back to her usual, meek, delicate and ladylike self; he loved her either way, but he didn't really understand her. "Hey, don't cry, I was only joking", he looked into her eyes as the tears welled up and then came spilling down her cheeks, it was the strangest transition he had ever witnessed and he wasn't entirely sure how to react; "I know…" she mumbled before wiping the tears from her face, "I'm sorry, I just missed you. Let's go inside", she looked around and realised that they were still standing in the driveway, and as much as she loved the family, she didn't particularly want anyone else coming outside and witnessing her emotional state. JR shook his head lightly, he would never fully understand women, one minute she was ecstatic, the next she was in tears, and now she seemed ok again; the strangest part was that barely any words had been exchanged between them and what was said was fairly harmless, so her reactions were completely over the top. Taking her hand, they walked inside the house together.

To be continued…


	183. Mothers and Sons

**Dallas, Texas**

"Mama?" JR walked outside in search of his mother, it was Sunday afternoon and Sue Ellen was upstairs taking a nap, Lucy was at Muriel's house and his father and Bobby were out on the ranch, it was the ideal time to do a little digging into Sue Ellen's puzzling new personality. In a way, her behaviour was reminiscent of the depressive state she had been just a few months back, and although she outwardly appeared to have recovered from that, he was concerned that perhaps she hadn't and she was on the verge of another breakdown. He wasn't completely convinced that that's what it was though, because she seemed to have genuinely ecstatic moments, moments which were almost over the top happy in comparison to a normal level of happiness, and he didn't believe that she would go so far as to fake that level of emotion if she was depressed. He had done his best to eliminate every source of stress or anxiety from her life and he really believed that his efforts had been working; as far as he was concerned, they had a very happy and healthy marriage. Aside from the car crash and her mother's visit, both of which had happened weeks ago now, he saw absolutely no reason for her feel down or be unhappy with her life. In fact, after the car crash, he'd made a real effort to be home and spend time with her, so if she was unhappy now, then he wasn't sure he could offer her what she needed, because he was already giving her so much of himself. He still wasn't convinced that that's what her problem was though, however, something had happened while he was away, he could sense it; Sue Ellen's reaction to his return to Dallas was completely over the top for what it was, a two day business trip. Over the past few weeks they had been close, but ever since he had returned, she had been more clingy and emotional than he'd seen her in a long time, and it didn't make sense to him.

"JR", Miss Ellie walked around the corner toward him and smiled, it wasn't often that JR sought her out and from his tone of voice, he sounded as if he really wanted to talk. "Oh good, you are out here. Are you busy?" he looked at the small watering can she was holding and suddenly felt as if he was interrupting her, "no, not busy, I was just watering my pot plants, but that can wait. You look as if you have something on your mind. Shall we sit?" she motioned toward the patio and took a seat; if JR was coming to her and wanting to talk then it had to be something important, they just didn't have that kind of relationship in day-to-day life. "Should I call Teresa to bring out some tea?" she broke the awkward silence that JR had left them in as he sat down, for a man who had come to her to talk, he wasn't exactly chatty. "No mama, that's not necessary. Look, I uh…how do I say this?" he paused as he looked for the right words, he and his mother never spoke like this and he suddenly felt completely out of his depth, talking about feelings and emotions was such a feminine thing to do and he wasn't sure how to get his point across. Taking a deep breath, he spoke, "you and Sue Ellen spend a lot of time together. I was just wondering whether you'd noticed anything…" he paused as he thought of the right word to describe her new demeanour, one that didn't give too much information away, "…different about her lately?" He didn't particularly want to explain what he meant in detail, their marriage was their business, however, the majority of the time that Sue Ellen wasn't with him, she spent with his mother, so logically she seemed like the person to ask for insight into any changes that had been occurring.

Miss Ellie nodded, she was pleased that JR had come to her with his concerns this time, however, she was still a little angry with him for ignoring her advice and request to have a proper discussion with Sue Ellen weeks ago. She had her suspicions about what Sue Ellen's current issue was, but that didn't mean that she didn't still suspect Sue Ellen had deeper issues than just possibly being pregnant and hormonal, issues that JR hadn't exactly helped with his enabling attitude. Sue Ellen loved to pretend that she didn't have any problems, and JR often wasn't present enough or paying enough attention to notice the way she really felt, he also didn't seem to have a problem accepting her answers at face value and allowing her to bury her real feelings. Their combined behaviour was a disaster waiting to happen and if she was right about Sue Ellen's condition, then this was a terrible time for her to have to deal with any more problems; the emotional strain of her issues would not be good for the health of the baby or herself. "When you say lately, do you mean the past few days, weeks or months? Because, yes, as a matter of fact, I have. However, before I give you my opinion on this whole thing, I'd like to hear what you think", she looked JR in the eye as she spoke, wanting to make sure that he knew she was serious about the topic of their discussion. If he wanted her help now, then he'd better be looking to actually help his wife, not just find an explanation for her behaviour, something to blame her for and absolve himself of any responsibility; she wouldn't stand for him downplaying Sue Ellen's problems or mistreating her any longer.

JR was surprised at how serious his mother looked and he began to wonder whether perhaps he'd made a mistake in coming to her for information; that's all he really wanted, information, he didn't want her judgement or opinion on whatever Sue Ellen's supposed issues were, he just wanted a rundown of any noticeable changes in his wife's behaviour. "Well I'm particularly interested in the past few days, specifically from the time I left for Houston to the time I returned home. From what you're saying though it sounds as if there's something else I should know…?" he left his sentence vague, hoping to gather the information he needed without having to say too much himself. Miss Ellie observed her son, he was so evasive when he spoke, as if it were a business negotiation and he was doing everything he could to gain the upper hand before he personally committed to anything, carefully thinking about his words and then speaking in doublespeak when he did talk. "That's right. But as I said, I'd like to hear what you think before I give you my opinion", she gave him a look as if to tell him that she could negotiate just as well as he could, though she knew that JR would certainly win the game if they were in a real competition, he was Jock's son after all. JR sighed, he had come outside on a simple fact finding mission, not to be made to feel guilty by his mother as he was right now; "she's all over the place, emotionally I mean. One minute she's up and the next she's down, and from what I can tell, even she doesn't seem to have a particularly good explanation for her behaviour. I was just wondering whether you'd noticed the same thing and I thought that you might have a better insight into what was causing her mood swings; second to me as her husband, you're probably the person she spends the most time with", he finished speaking and waited for her to respond. He was a little annoyed that he'd had to explain his thoughts first, but he pushed his annoyance out of his mind as he reminded himself of the purpose of the conversation, he just wanted to help Sue Ellen. If explaining his feelings to his mother was what would get him the information he required, then it was worth a little personal annoyance, or at least he hoped it was, his mother hadn't actually said anything worthwhile yet.

To be continued…


	184. Enlightenment?

**Dallas, Texas**

"Mhm", Miss Ellie nodded in agreement as JR spoke, although he was missing a large chunk of the problem, she was pleased that he at least acknowledged that Sue Ellen had feelings and wasn't always the happy girl she tried so hard to pretend she was. "I agree. Now, I have a fair idea of why she's been so up and down over the past few weeks, however, I'd like you to think about the past few months right now. Imagine being Sue Ellen for a moment, think about how she spends her time, what she does and who she does it with…" she paused as she watched JR, he looked confused, though he hadn't interrupted her with a questioning comment yet, so she continued to speak, "now, think about your own life over the past few months. If you were Sue Ellen, how would you feel about your involvement in her life? I'm not talking about the last few weeks, after the accident, I'm talking about the months preceding that event", she finished speaking and waited for him to think about what she had said. She knew JR, if she just came straight out and accused him of neglecting his wife then he would shut the conversation down immediately, however, if she allowed him to come to the conclusion himself, then he would be more receptive to the conversation, or at least she hoped he would, JR was an unpredictable man.

JR listened to his mother and grew annoyed as she spoke so vaguely, this wasn't the conversation he'd been hoping for, though he couldn't say that it wasn't somewhat enlightening. "Mhm", he nodded, it seemed as if his mother had the same idea that he'd had, though she blamed him for it and he didn't like that. "Mama, I don't want to believe that her condition has returned and truthfully, I'm not sure that it has, because this time seems different to the last time. However, if she is in that kind of state again, then I think I had better call Dr Danvers, because it's no longer something I'm qualified to help her with. I know you think that I didn't really do anything to help her, but that's not true; after she returned home from Austin, I did everything in my power to make sure I didn't burden her with my issues or let her stress herself out worrying about me. If that's what her issue is now, then I can't be held responsible; and if those aren't the things fretting about, then I don't know what her problem is; she doesn't work, she doesn't have to worry about supporting herself, she has a wonderful family support system and she occupies herself with her hobbies. If she has problems with those things, then that's beyond my control. I have provided her with everything she needs and wants and I try hard to make sure that she never has to deal with anything too serious. As far as I can see, I did my part to try to resolve the problem, but obviously my efforts aren't good enough", he was frustrated and defensive, he really felt as if he were being attacked and he needed to argue his way back into the winning position, he didn't like feeling like the loser. He had come looking for a simple informative conversation, but what he'd gotten was a guilt trip, or, at least that's how he felt, as he thought back on their conversation, he realised that his mother hadn't actually explicitly accused him of anything.

Miss Ellie listened to JR as he spoke, although she didn't agree with his sentiments, his response wasn't exactly surprising to her. In his eyes, he probably had done everything that he could do, however, he didn't quite see the situation the same way that she or Sue Ellen did, he didn't understand that a successful marriage was hard work and it took more than putting in a bare minimum effort in to make it work. Being in the same room with his wife wasn't the same as spending time with her, withholding huge amounts of information from her didn't mean that she didn't still worry about his issues and want to be there for him as a supportive wife, and dismissing her issues as unimportant or non-existent did nothing to help her. She took a deep breath and paused as she thought about how to respond, she didn't want to say something too harsh and have JR walk away from the conversation with an attitude and a further diminished lack of empathy for his wife; Sue Ellen needed JR on her side, especially now. She was fairly sure that Sue Ellen was pregnant and the answer to JR's question about her mood swings was tied to that condition, but with JR coming to her for answers, she had thought it would be a good opportunity to open the discussion about the deeper issues in their marriage before she told him of her suspicions. However, she was beginning to wonder now whether that had been the right decision or not.

"JR, calm down, I'm not accusing you of anything or saying that your efforts were worthless, I'm just asking you to empathise with your wife for a moment. Ewing Oil makes you feel important doesn't it? It gives you something to focus your time and energy on and you're always thrilled by the challenges it presents, right? Now, think about Sue Ellen; that girl loves you, and I know you think her hobbies fill her time, but they don't, not really, and on top of that, they don't satisfy her in the same way your work does. She would do anything to make you happy and she puts your happiness and being a good wife to you as her number one priority in life. I'm not trying to make you feel like a failure, because I know you think you've been trying hard and it's been working well, and I'll admit, in recent weeks, yes, things do seem to be good between you two. However, you need to understand that she feels everything and takes everything personally. You pay attention to her for a while and she gets her hopes up that it will always be that way, so when you get busy with work and begin to spend less and less quality time with her, she falls hard. Again, I'm not saying it's your fault, because I more than anyone understand the demands Ewing Oil puts on a man, I'm just pointing it out to you so that you're aware of how her mind works. I care about Sue Ellen and I want her to be happy, but you have to understand that her version of happiness is directly connected to the relationship you two have; her hobbies, the family and her material possessions are important to her, but they're secondary in comparison to how she feels about you. Does any of that make sense?" she looked at him and hoped that at least a small part of what she had said was getting through to him; Sue Ellen deserved a husband who cared about her as much as she cared about him and right now, their relationship was unbalanced in that area.

JR sighed, all he had wanted to know was whether his mother had noticed Sue Ellen's mood swings, but instead of that simple information, he'd been given a lecture on marriage and how in her opinion, he wasn't being the best husband he could be, something he disagreed with and still didn't completely understand her perspective on. "Yes mama, I understand that and I really do try my best, however, as you said, Ewing Oil is important and I cannot always dedicate my full time and attention to my wife, no matter how much I would like to. I've also explained my reasoning behind why I can't share certain parts of my life with Sue Ellen, because as history has proved, it's not good for her to know everything. I hear what you're saying though and in future, I will try to be a little bit more empathetic toward Sue Ellen; I suppose I just have a hard time finding the right work/life balance". His mind wandered as he spoke the last few words, that was really his problem, he had spent his entire life trying to please his father and that meant putting Ewing Oil first in every decision he made. That had worked fine for him for the first twenty-eight years of his life, however it had all changed in 1967, and now, four and a half years later, he had a wife, a dependent wife, and he still wasn't completely used to being married and having to think about another person when he made decisions in his life. It was as if he was being pulled in two directions and the choices he made never seemed to be able to just happily coexist with each other. If he focused on pleasing his father, then his relationship with Sue Ellen suffered, and if he focused on Sue Ellen, then he had less time to think about business, and he risked losing his father's trust and dependence, something he never wanted to happen, especially with Bobby involved in the company now. In his mind, it wasn't even a real argument, he had been indoctrinated into thinking that Ewing Oil was the most important thing in the world and his hard work was completely justified. If Sue Ellen truly wanted to be a good wife, then what he really needed her to do was be quiet and support him, not start causing a fuss about having a husband with important responsibilities.

Miss Ellie nodded, she sensed that JR was about as close to a real understanding of the issue as he was ever going to get, and that he did seem to be genuinely open to at least trying to improve his marriage, and for now, that was good enough for her. "Good, I'm glad. As I've told you before, marriage is a long, hard, difficult road; but it's also wonderful. Your biggest problem with Sue Ellen is communication, please don't take this offensively, but neither of you are great communicators, which means that small things tend to grow into bigger ones, even when they don't really need to. That young girl loves you, and I think you love her too. I'd hate to see that fall apart because of a small miscommunication problem. However, I trust that after our conversation, you're now a little bit more receptive to opening up the discussion and changing a few things", she smiled at him and he gave her a weak smile in return. Looking around the patio, JR felt awkward, he'd gotten answers to his question, though he was more confused than ever. His mother's words hadn't done anything to ease his mind about the possible return of Sue Ellen's former emotional condition or whether her recent behaviour was something else entirely. She had even alluded to having an idea of what the current problem was; however, desperate to leave the conversation, he decided not to question her any further. "Thank you mama", he nodded before standing, "I think I'll go and see whether my wife is awake yet. Perhaps take her out for dinner later", he tipped his hat and smiled before he left the table and walked back inside the house.

To be continued…


	185. Positive

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen felt sick as the nurse showed her in to the doctor's office, she was anxious and excited, though also a little cautious and worried, and combined with the physical symptoms she'd been having, she really just didn't feel good in general. She had been for an appointment on Monday and explained everything she had been feeling, along with the calendar references to back up her thoughts; however, the doctor had been fairly tight-lipped during the appointment, giving no real indication as to what he was thinking or whether he believed that her suspicions were even close to being correct. So now, on Thursday morning, she didn't really know what to think of being called in to receive her test results in person; the last time this had happened, she'd been devastated and had crashed hard emotionally and she wasn't sure she could deal with that kind of disappointment again. "Mrs Ewing. How are you feeling today?" Dr Danvers smiled as he entered the room and shook her hand and Sue Ellen smiled back weakly, "well, I'm a little tired and nauseated but I'm getting used to feeling that way, it's my new normal. I'm also feeling rather anxious, but I think that has more to do with the anticipation of my test results than anything medical. Other than that, I'm fine", she gave a short answer and waited for him to speak again, all she wanted to know was whether she was going to have a baby or not, the chitchat about her general wellbeing could wait. "Mhm, yes, the nausea and tiredness are to be expected, though they should taper off after the first trimester. Now, you mentioned in our last appointment that you'd been having some emotional ups and downs? Is that still the case?"

Sue Ellen blinked at the doctor in disbelief, was he confirming the news she had been waiting for, or was he just speaking in general terms? "I'm sorry doctor… did you say trimester? Am I…?" she looked at him with wide, hopeful eyes and it suddenly occurred to him that their introductory conversation had skipped ahead and they were discussing her condition without him having actually confirmed it to her. "Oh, I'm sorry; I should have opened with your results. Yes, the tests came back positive. Congratulations Mrs Ewing", he gave her a warm smile and handed her a box of tissues as the tears began to stream down her cheeks; he'd seen plenty of patients react to the news of a positive pregnancy test in this way, though not all of them had been crying due to happiness. However, he knew that Sue Ellen's tears weren't tears of sadness or tears related to the hormonal changes her body was going through, they were tears of joy at the news she had been waiting for for so long now. As much as he was supposed to hold only a professional opinion and relationship with his patients, personally, he was very pleased for her and for the Ewing family; he knew from talking to both Jock and Miss Ellie at their general check-ups that they were both eagerly anticipating the news of another grandchild. However, even more than Jock and Miss Ellie, he was thrilled to be able to give Sue Ellen the news. The young woman had been questioning him about her fertility since the day she returned from her honeymoon and he was genuinely pleased that he was finally able to give her some real, solid, positive news, not a vague answer about her health, age, lifestyle and marital relations being on her side and letting nature take its course.

The rest of the appointment had been a blur of information and as Sue Ellen left the doctor's office and walked through the parking lot toward her car, she couldn't believe it had actually happened. It amazed her that she felt so different now than she had just a few hours ago, because in her heart, she had already known it, the doctor's tests had really just confirmed it for her. She felt wonderful as she thought about it, it was as if everything she had gone through in the past had a reason now, it had finally led her here; her life finally had purpose and direction and she felt finally felt secure and happy when she looked toward the future. Just six weeks ago, she had been JR Ewing's lonely, bored and depressed wife, but now, she was carrying JR Ewing's child, the future heir to the Ewing Empire; a child was also someone that would depend on her and look at her with love and admiration, and selfishly that pleased her, she liked the thought of being needed. A child would provide her with purpose and direction in her life, a child was a readymade companion, and a child would secure her place in the Ewing family; there really wasn't anything bad about the situation, at least not that she could think of right now. As long as she was a better mother to her child than her own mother had been to her, something she was confident she would be, and as long as external circumstances and influences cooperated with her vision, she imagined that the pregnancy was just the wonderful beginning of her new life, a life she couldn't wait to start living.

Looking at her watch, she realised that it was only just after eleven in the morning, and seeing as that she was already in Dallas, she decided to do a little shopping before she headed back to Southfork. She briefly thought about driving over to Ewing Oil to tell JR the good news, however, she decided it was best not to disturb him at work, he was a busy man who didn't need his wife interrupting his business day, especially since her news wasn't going anywhere, it could wait a few hours. Walking into The Store, she headed straight upstairs to the children's department, more specifically, the baby clothes; however, as she headed toward the racks and shelves of garments, she had a sudden realisation, something that hadn't occurred to her before this moment and that she felt silly that she was just realising it now, she could be having a girl. Despite the fact that she knew a pregnancy could result in either a boy or a girl and she had no choice in the matter, she had still always imagined it to be a boy. Jock, Miss Ellie and JR were always talking about the future John Ross Ewing III, something that didn't bother her, she'd love to have a son, however, she had only ever heard them speak of the future child as a male, so naturally, she began to think of it that way too. A daughter had only ever been part of her thoughts during times when she was with Lucy, Kristin or Mary, but even then, it was a maternal feeling toward each individual girl rather than an imagined future with a daughter; the baby she and JR had been trying to conceive for so long had always been a boy. However, as she walked around the gendered clothing racks, she realised that she would be happy with either sex, she desperately just wanted to be a mother, and whether that was to a son or a daughter was irrelevant, at least to her personally. Having a son as their first-born child would make things easier for both she and JR as a couple though, because there were so many things that were dependent on the future little Ewing being a male child, but if she had a daughter first, then it wasn't the end of the world. She had always wanted a family and that meant more than one child; if their first child was a girl, then they could always try again for a boy in the future; JR would still have the chance to get his son, his namesake. A Ewing daughter would live a charmed life, and their son would be given everything he needed to be successful and follow in JR's footsteps in the future. As she thought about it, it didn't seem so scary after all, there was a positive side to both possibilities, and even then, there was still only a 50% chance of their baby being a girl, and that meant that there was an equal chance of it being a boy. Either way though, she couldn't control it, so it really wasn't something to stress about. Dismissing her current thoughts, she turned back to the clothing, selecting a few yellow items in the meantime; just because she didn't know the sex of her baby, didn't mean that she couldn't still shop for it.

To be continued…


	186. Timing

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen was pleased that no one else was home when she had arrived back at Southfork from her doctor's appointment and shopping trip; it gave her time to adjust to the new emotions she was feeling without being questioned about why she was smiling so much or having to explain what she had been doing all morning. She knew that she had to tell JR before she told anyone else and she planned to do that when he arrived home from work, however, she was still undecided on whether she wanted to tell the rest of the family the good news today or whether she should wait a while, just to be safe. Dr Danvers had estimated that she was about six weeks pregnant and that although she was fit and healthy and it was relatively unlikely, there was still a risk of miscarriage, a statistical risk that dropped after the first trimester. She was torn between being completely thrilled and wanting everyone to share in her excitement, and being a nervous wreck that feared the way people would look at her and talk about her behind her back if she did lose the baby. She'd spent enough time with the DOA ladies to know that they gossiped gleefully about anyone's misfortune and if anything happened to her, she wouldn't be an exception. Then there was the problem of her mother, she knew she would be upset with her if she told the Ewing family the news before she told her, however, Sue Ellen didn't particularly want to see her mother or sister unless completely necessary, and at the moment their next trip up to Dallas wasn't scheduled until Thanksgiving, five weeks away. However, if the dates Dr Danvers had estimated were correct, by the time the two families were gathered together at Southfork for Thanksgiving dinner, she would be just past the eleven-week mark and her first trimester would be almost over. Then, by the time everyone went back to work and started socialising again after the long weekend, inevitably spreading the good news, she would be far enough along that she wouldn't mind it being public knowledge. She smiled to herself as she opened her shopping bags and looked at the two outfits she had purchased for her baby, she then neatly folded them and placed them into an empty dresser drawer; the news was good news, and whether they told the family now or in five weeks didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.

JR sighed to himself as his final meeting of the day ended without an agreement and he began to wonder whether he'd lost his touch, it was highly unusual for JR Ewing to have this much trouble negotiating a deal and he began to wonder what had happened to him. The only thing he could think of to blame for his distraction was his current concern for his wife's wellbeing, and that frustrated him; if Sue Ellen really wanted to be a good wife, then the best thing she could do for him was support him unconditionally and not give him more things to worry about. Although he was a grown man, he still feared his father's reaction to his failures, and if he couldn't get a contract written and signed by next week, then his father would not be pleased. JR always had to work twice as hard to show that he was the best Ewing at Ewing Oil because his father's favouritism toward his younger brother was so apparent. If he couldn't make a deal with this company, a deal that should have been relatively simple for him, then he had no doubt that his father would start to doubt his capabilities and start to see Bobby in an even more favourable light than he already did. In Jock's eyes, despite the fact that Bobby's role was all about handing out favours to those who could help Ewing Oil and had nothing to do with negotiating actual deals, he and JR were of equal importance to the overall running of the company. JR knew of his father's general plan to make him president when he retired in a few years, however, the way he saw it, there was no reason why Bobby would automatically move into a higher position within the company at that point too; Bobby wasn't nearly as experienced or devious enough to be the next vice president. However, if JR kept going the way he was going and failed to easily negotiate basic deals, then his father's opinion of him would surely drop, and that worried him; he couldn't lose to Bobby, it wasn't an option. Walking over to the bar in his office, he poured himself a drink and downed it before gathering his things and heading downstairs to the parking lot, heading back to Southfork.

Sue Ellen spent the early afternoon outside by the pool, enjoying the last remnants of the summer heat before the fall weather arrived, and then in the late afternoon, she headed inside to take a nap, something that didn't go unnoticed by Teresa or Miss Ellie. Waking up an hour before JR arrived home, she changed clothes, headed downstairs to say hello to Lucy and Miss Ellie and then returned to her room to change for dinner. As she heard JR's car parking in the driveway, she walked downstairs and made him a drink before meeting him in the foyer just as he walked in the door. Greeting him with a hug and a kiss, she handed him the glass and was surprised when he downed the drink in one gulp; he wasn't in a good mood and that worried her, she wanted the moment she gave him the news to be perfect, but now was not that moment. The rush hour traffic leaving downtown Dallas hadn't been any worse than usual, but to JR, it felt as if it were moving at a snail's pace and combined with his already dark thoughts and frustrations of the day, he wasn't in a particularly good mood as he returned home. However, the sight of his wife standing in the foyer waiting for him with a drink in her hand and a smile on her face did somewhat improve his mood; it pleased him to know that Sue Ellen would always be on his side, even if no one else was.

Miss Ellie watched Sue Ellen with interest as the family ate dinner, it seemed obvious from her pale face and lack of involvement in the conversation that it was taking all of her willpower not to leave the dining room. So far, she had noted eggs, strong seafood and some chicken dishes as foods that Sue Ellen seemed to have an aversion to lately, and as she watched her daughter-in-law gag slightly as she chewed and swallowed the food, she added steak to the list. Sue Ellen had to be pregnant, it all made sense, and if she had come to the conclusion just from watching her, then there was no way that Sue Ellen didn't know it yet; though from the way JR had been acting lately, she wasn't entirely sure that Sue Ellen had let him in on the little secret yet. An hour later, Sue Ellen sighed with relief as she lay down on the bed, far away from the smell, taste or visual reminders of food; as much as she was pleased about her condition, she couldn't wait for the next few weeks to pass, food aversion and nausea were particularly unpleasant symptoms. Unwittingly, she fell asleep, and as JR returned to their bedroom after talking to his father for a few minutes, he was both concerned and confused at the image of his wife lying on the bed, she wasn't even under the covers, so her nap appeared to be unintentional. That behaviour worried him though, because it didn't strike him as particularly normal to need as much rest as she seemed to have been getting recently and coupled with her mood swings, he didn't know what was wrong with her. Perhaps it was time for him to give Dr Danvers a call.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thanks for all the recent reviews; I'm glad you're pleased with the direction of the story. Thanks for reading :)**


	187. The Good News

**Dallas, Texas**

Returning home from work on Friday evening, JR was in a much better mood than he had been the previous day; things had been good at the office and he'd had less trouble concentrating, though consciously, he didn't really know why, it wasn't as if anything in his life had changed. However, deep down, he knew that he and only he, not his father, brother or wife, was responsible for his moods and actions, and all he really needed was to stop feeling sorry for himself and get on with his work. JR Ewing had a reputation to uphold, and if he showed himself to be weak, especially by letting other people's words and actions control him, then his power would start to slip away. Walking in the door, the sight of his wife waiting for him with a drink only improved his good mood and it doubly pleased him that today she appeared to be the happy young woman that he'd married, not the weepy, emotionally unstable young woman that he worried so much about. Giving her a quick kiss, he guided them up the stairs and into their bedroom. "Did you have a good day at work? You look happy, much more relaxed than you did yesterday", Sue Ellen knew to perform her wifely role and take an interest in his life before moving the focus of the conversation onto her, it was only polite. "Mhm, I am", he took a sip of his drink before recounting his day to her, "I signed a deal I've been working on all week, it's a good deal for Ewing Oil, one I know for a fact that Wade Luce and Jordan Lee were both interested in, but ole JR was better than both of those men. Then, if that wasn't already a positive event, the geological reports on a couple of pieces of land Ewing Oil is interested in came back positive, so we'll probably start moving towards making an offer to purchase them next week. The market is a bit unpredictable at the moment, but daddy always taught me to take advantage of other people's uncertainties, and Ewing Oil can definitely afford to purchase and benefit from new fields; so while everyone else is sitting around talking about what to do, we'll be out doing it. Meanwhile, Bobby called from Houston and he's extending his trip until next Wednesday, so I don't have to deal with him in my ear all day at the office either. So yes, today was a good day", he gave her a warm smile as he began to speak, but as he relayed the events of his day to her, the warm smile turned into a devious grin, one Sue Ellen knew well and loved to see.

Finishing his story, JR watched his wife's smile grow, there was something more to her current happiness than just being pleased that her husband was a successful oilman, it was almost as if she had her own reasons to be happy, and the thought of that pleased him. As much as he liked that she made him her number one priority, he didn't like the idea of her being miserable outside of the time they spent together, because he did want her to be happy, but it just wasn't feasible for him to devote as much time and energy to her as she could to him. "Now, are you going to tell me why you're so happy? Because as great as my successes are, I have a feeling that your good mood has nothing to do with my work", he looked her in the eye as he spoke sincerely, he was feeling good today and he was actually genuinely interested in what she had to say. Something had to have happened to her, because she was happier right now than she had been in a long time, and the nosy side of him wanted the details of exactly what that something was. Sue Ellen blushed as he spoke, although she knew he was joking, she couldn't help but feel embarrassed at the thought of him knowing that sometimes she did only act interested and ask him questions because she was trying to be a good wife, not because she really loved hearing about the oil business. "I am happy, and in a funny sort of way, my mood has everything to with your success, well, our success"; JR looked at her with great confusion as she paused for a moment to deal with the sudden anxiety she was feeling. Then, as he analysed her words during her brief pause, his confusion grew even more, she was speaking in riddles again and that was something she only did when she was nervous; whatever was on her mind had to be big.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed past the anxiety as she realised that it didn't make any sense for her to feel so nervous about his reaction, she was about to tell her husband the news they'd been waiting for for over a year, it was supposed to be a happy occasion, and her fretting about it was ridiculous. "I'm pregnant, JR", she said it faster than she meant to, though as JR's jaw dropped, she realised that he'd heard her loud and clear; "pregnant?" he asked more rhetorically than anything else, though as he processed the information, a large grin appeared on his face. "Pregnant", he repeated the statement to himself before he stepped forward and kissed her, softly at first but then more passionately, letting her feel the love and appreciation he felt for her. His wife had just given him the most wonderful news and he was genuinely thrilled; he was going to be a father, Sue Ellen was going to be a mother, his parents would be getting the Ewing heir they'd been wanting and waiting for for so long and his position as president of Ewing Oil was secure. With John Ross Ewing III now in existence, he'd fulfilled his father's request to have a third generation Ewing lined up to take over the company before his own retirement. Everything had finally fallen into place and he couldn't be happier. Pulling away from their kiss, he looked at her, studying her face and the way she was looking up at him, her eyes were filled with love and emotion and her smile told him everything he needed to know; she was going to be just fine. He felt relieved as he assured himself that his concerns about her returning to a depressive state had been wrong; whatever difficulties she had been facing in the past few weeks were probably just due to being a hormonal pregnant woman and were hopefully only temporary. "That's wonderful news darlin'", he hugged her tightly before looking at her again, "and wonderful news calls for something a little more celebratory than bourbon. So, you wait right here and I will be back in two minutes", he leaned forward and gave her a long, passionate kiss before he turned and left the room, and as the door closed, Sue Ellen let out a breath she hadn't realised she was holding. Everything seemed so clear now, JR's reaction left her with no doubt that he was thrilled with the news and the rest of the family would be too; she had been overly anxious earlier for no good reason, but now that she had the assurance that everything was going to be ok, she could finally relax and enjoy it.

To be continued…


	188. Celebration

**Dallas, Texas**

"Darlin'", JR handed her a glass of champagne as he poured one for himself, "thank you", Sue Ellen accepted the drink and beamed at him as she thought about the situation. Although she had had her suspicions for a while now, she still couldn't believe that it was actually real, that she was finally able to give everyone what they wanted, and she finally had what she had always wanted, a real, happy family. Everything in her life was finally good and all of a sudden, all of the pain and negative feelings she'd had in the past didn't seem so terrible anymore, because they had finally led somewhere positive. Her mind moved further into the past as she assessed everything; when she was a teenager and then a college girl, she had always imagined her future to look something like it did now, including the traditional white house, loving husband, children and a big extended family; it was still so surreal that her fantasy future was finally a reality. "To you, and the baby", JR clinked his glass against hers as he made his toast, his day really couldn't have gotten any better, his work had been good, but now, with the news of his wife's pregnancy, both his work life and his personal life were about to get a whole lot better, especially where his father was concerned. "Now, tell me, why'd you go to the doctor for the pregnancy test?" he listened intently as she explained all about her woman's intuition and how she had just known. She gave him a basic, non-graphic account of her physical symptoms and then explained about how she had gone to see Dr Danvers earlier in the week, how he'd confirmed the news to her yesterday and how thrilled she had been when her assumptions and wishes had been confirmed. She then explained that she was six, almost seven weeks along and JR smiled as everything came together in his mind; six or seven weeks ago made the date of conception sometime around the time they grew close again after the accident. He didn't know much about pregnancy, but he knew enough to know that her early pregnancy hormones explained a lot of her recent behaviours, including her eagerness and energy in the bedroom a few weeks ago as well as why she had been so emotionally up and down recently.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I didn't want to get your hopes up before I knew anything for sure. I know how painful it is to think one thing and then find out that you were wrong…" she switched from an excited mood into something more subdued and sad as she continued to speak, candidly explaining her worries that her mind was playing tricks on her again and her fears about everyone's reaction if she spoke too soon. JR was surprised at just how openly she was speaking; she was usually meek and quiet when it came to her own thoughts and feelings. However, her words did explain a lot of her behaviour over the past few weeks and he felt relieved to have confirmation that all the things he had been worried about recently were related to the pregnancy, or at least he thought they were, she never detailed any of her thoughts about her boredom or loneliness. "Darlin', I've told you before, you need to relax and stop worrying so much about what other people think of you. Of course everyone wanted this baby, but no one was angry at you when it didn't happen immediately. Now, forget all of the negative thoughts and feelings you've been harbouring, because you are about to make everyone very happy, and with everyone else happy, I want the mother of my son to be happy too". He looked her in the eye to make sure that she understood before he paused and grinned to himself, changing the mood as he spoke again, "this is wonderful news. Mama and daddy are going to be so pleased"; Sue Ellen didn't know how he did it, but somehow, he had the ability to switch between moods easily, something she found a little more difficult to do. However, his kind words and current excitement were beginning to make her feel better, and deep down, she knew that he was right in his assessment of her. She did take things more personally than the way other people intended them to be received, and everyone would be pleased with her now that she and JR had good news, so really, it was silly to be concerned about her old worries and fears now, they were irrelevant.

Looking at his watch, JR realised that the time for his parents to be pleased about their news was sooner than he had realised, "darlin', as much as I hate to cut short our alone time, we should probably start getting ready for dinner; you know how daddy despises lateness". Sue Ellen nodded, JR was right, Jock hated when anyone was late to dinner, though with their news, they could probably get away with it today; however, she didn't plan on telling the Ewing family just yet, so instead of dillydallying, she hurried and changed for dinner. Fifteen minutes later, JR took his wife's hand and led her out of the bedroom, "mama and daddy are going to be thrilled", he squeezed her hand in excitement as they walked down the hallway and he was confused when instead of squeezing his hand back, she stopped dead in her tracks and her face paled. "Darlin'?" he turned back toward her and looked at her, "what's wrong?" he didn't understand her sometimes, just a moment ago she had been as happy as he was, but now she was somewhere else and he had no idea what was going on in her head. "I… JR would you mind if we didn't tell your parents the news just yet?" she looked at the floor and whispered her words; as assuring as JR had been, she still had a nagging feeling in her mind, something that was telling her to wait until the time was right before telling everyone the good news. JR watched his wife and sighed, they didn't really have time to have a deep conversation right now if they wanted to make it to dinner in time, but it was obviously something she felt strongly about, so he decided to allow her a small postponement for now. Putting his finger under her chin, he tilted her head up from looking at the floor, "ok, that request obviously means something to you, so we won't tell them right now. However, after dinner, you and I need to talk about why you feel that way", he gave her a light kiss before taking her hand and leading her downstairs to meet with the rest of the family. Whatever was on her mind would have to wait until later, but when they were alone again, he fully intended on finding out what was going on in her head, because there was obviously something affecting her, her sudden request to keep the pregnancy a secret didn't seem normal to him.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: I know she shouldn't be drinking alcohol, but it was 1971, times were different; even on the show they toasted her pregnancy with champagne**


	189. The Sound Of Children

**Dallas, Texas**

"Thank you for coming; please, make yourself at home and if you need anything, just ask me or one of the other adults", Sue Ellen smiled and politely greeted the children and some of their parents as they arrived at Southfork for Lucy's birthday party. "Cindy!" Lucy spoke excitedly as her friend arrived and she rolled her eyes as Sue Ellen repeated her same, overly polite and impersonal greeting. For a younger woman, Sue Ellen took things so seriously sometimes; her friends were other young girls, not DOA members or business associates, they didn't care what Sue Ellen had to say or even whether she was there to greet them at all; she really didn't need to be so stiff and formal. A few minutes later, both Jock and Miss Ellie walked outside to join the receiving line and Lucy relaxed a little, her grandparents knew most of her friends parents and their greetings were less stuffy and more friendly, exactly what she'd expected. "I'll go check on the food", Sue Ellen felt awkward as her in-laws struck up real conversations with their guests and she politely made her exit as she realised that she wasn't needed anymore. Walking inside and entering the kitchen, she spoke with Teresa for a moment, checking that the food preparation was all running smoothly, though once again, she felt awkward and useless as she realised that Teresa was a professional, she had everything under control and didn't really need any help. Leaving the kitchen, she walked upstairs and as she closed the bedroom door behind her, she began to cry. Although she'd been a Ewing for almost two years now and was carrying the next Ewing grandchild inside her, she still felt like an outsider sometimes, and today that feeling made her feel useless, sad and alone.

JR sat in the downstairs office drinking his bourbon and reading the morning newspaper in an attempt to get away from the noise of the birthday party going on outside. Usually at a party like this, he would be with the rest of the family socialising, however, this year, Lucy had asked for a party for just her friends, not their parents or any of their family friends or business associates, and his father, being the doting grandfather that he was, had agreed to that request. Because of that, he figured that aside from a few obligatory polite appearances, there was no requirement for him to be a prominent person at the party, no one important was going to be there, and standing around watching a bunch of young girls doing whatever it was that they were doing outside just didn't appeal to him. Hearing the door to the office gently open and close, he looked up from his newspaper, "daddy?" his father was acting as if he were breaking in to the office and it struck him as an odd thing to do in his own home; "JR!" Jock jumped slightly as he realised that he wasn't alone, though he relaxed as he realised that it was only JR that had caught him, he wasn't going to judge him for sneaking away from the party, especially since he was probably doing exactly the same thing. "Buy you a drink?" JR moved past the reason why they were both inside the office, if his father wasn't going to mention it, then neither was he, so instead of starting a conversation, he just stood and walked over to the bar to make his father a drink. Jock nodded at JR's statement and walked over to the desk to find the sports section out of the newspaper JR had been reading, he then sat down and gratefully took the drink JR handed to him before the two of them settled into a comfortable silence as they drank their drinks and read their newspapers.

Half an hour after disappearing upstairs, Sue Ellen pulled herself together and walked back downstairs, reappearing in the kitchen as if nothing had happened. She was pleased when Miss Ellie tasked her with making sure that all the food was arranged correctly on the table outside, it wasn't a big task, but it was something that made her feel useful and important, something Miss Ellie sensed Sue Ellen needed more of in her life. Meanwhile, in the downstairs office, Jock sensed a change in outside volume and looked at his watch, "come on junior, we should probably make another appearance before your mother comes looking for us". JR sighed as his father spoke, though he said nothing, his father was probably right; even if they weren't really required and Lucy wasn't particularly paying attention to her family right now, it was still polite to occasionally show their faces, and it was better to do it willingly than to have his mother chastise them for avoiding the party.

Hours later, as the party wound down and the final guests left, Jock, JR and Bobby stood on the patio, looking out at the ranch as the women began the party clean up, "you know, for all the noise and chaos, I think I just might miss parties like these when Lucy gets a little older. There's just something about children that makes me feel young again", Jock made a casual statement just as Miss Ellie walked past the three men and she had to laugh at his words. It was easy for him to be nostalgic, he hadn't had anything to do with planning the party or entertaining the children, of course he felt young as he watched from afar. "Southfork is a family home, it should be filled with the sounds of family, more specifically, the sounds of children, Ewing children", he gave JR a look as he spoke and it took all of JR's willpower not to tell his father right there that he would be getting his wish much sooner than he expected. However, the pleading look Sue Ellen gave him as she walked past him on her way into the house was enough to bring him back to a rational state of mind, "daddy, I totally agree; Sue Ellen and I are working on it", he grinned as he spoke, leaving no confusion as to exactly what he was referring to. It did annoy him a little that he wasn't able to share the good news with his father just yet, however, as he reminded himself of the reason why he'd agreed to wait until Thanksgiving, he felt better about his decision. He'd agreed to Sue Ellen's request for one reason and one reason only, he couldn't stand Patricia Shepard and spending any more time with her than absolutely necessary was not something he particularly wanted to do. Inviting Patricia and Kristin up to Dallas for the weekend any time before Thanksgiving so they could tell their families the news at the same time became a much less appealing idea as he thought about it. He had considered just telling his parents and then telling Patricia when she was in Dallas for Thanksgiving, however, Sue Ellen had reminded him that if they willingly told his parents before they told her mother, then she would hate them and they would never hear the end of it. "Good, good", Jock smiled to himself before looking at his empty glass, "looks like it's time for a refill", he looked at his two sons and they both followed him inside the house.

To be continued…


	190. Dinner

**Dallas, Texas**

"That's it, next time Lucy says she wants to have dinner with a friend, she invites her friend here instead of going over there; this house is too damn quiet", Jock grumbled as Teresa collected their dinner plates, "Southfork is supposed to be a family home, but look at it now, so still and silent". Sue Ellen smiled weakly and nodded at Jock's sentiments, though truthfully, she was a little annoyed at him for complaining about the lack of people at the dinner table, it wasn't something that he had no control over. Bobby was out-of-town on business more often than not and his absence tonight wasn't unusual, but JR was in Dallas, he just happened to be working late at the office. If Jock really wanted JR in attendance, all he had to do was ask, but instead of requesting he finish work at a reasonable time and come home for dinner, he made it clear that there was work to be done at the office and JR felt responsible for making sure that work got done. Jock was JR's weak spot, he would do anything to please his daddy and it annoyed Sue Ellen that Jock never seemed to notice the effort that his eldest son made. It was as if he just expected JR to be the best and do what needed to be done, but he never thought to thank him for his effort or even acknowledge the hard work that went into making things happen. On the other side, she'd seen first-hand the way that he treated Bobby for his accomplishments, accomplishments that in comparison to JR's accomplishments, were small and fairly insignificant. The worst part though was seeing the way Jock's obvious favouritism affected JR, even if he didn't admit the depth of his feelings very often, she knew it hurt him and it saddened her that JR tried so hard and received so little from his father, it simply wasn't fair. She knew from experience what it was like to work so hard to please a parent but to always come up short and she empathised greatly with JR. She had been lucky enough to get a little peace and separation in her life when she moved out of mother's house after she married JR, but for JR, both fortunately and unfortunately, his work and home life were completely intertwined with the Ewing family and there was no escaping dealing with his father's inflated expectations every day.

Subconsciously, as she thought about JR's childhood and then her own, her hand moved to her abdomen and she made a silent vow to herself that no matter what, their child would always know that they were loved and wanted. She prayed that she would never become her mother, because she couldn't bear the thought of ruining another child's life the way her mother had ruined hers and the way both Jock and Miss Ellie had messed up JR's. Sue Ellen didn't personally have a problem with Miss Ellie, she loved having a loving mother figure in her life, however, her personal view didn't stop her from recognizing that Miss Ellie was partially responsible for JR's childhood and the way he was now. It was painfully obvious that Bobby was Jock's favourite son and Gary was Miss Ellie's, but with three sons and only two parents, JR was the son that was no one's favourite. The combination of being both the first-born son and the least loved son meant that he had always been burdened with the highest expectations while simultaneously being allocated the least love and good attention from his parents; it really explained to Sue Ellen why her husband was the way he was. Even though JR was a grown man, Sue Ellen knew that deep down, the sad little boy was still there; she had witnessed his emotional barrier come down a few times and every time it did, her heart broke for him. The rare stories he told her of his life were all too familiar and the thought of a parent treating their child in the way JR's parents had treated him and the reminder of how her mother had treated her upset her, especially now that she was about to become a parent herself.

Her thoughts were broken as Teresa walked into the dining room with three plates of dessert and she found herself completely distracted as the smell of the pecan pie reached her nose. The first few weeks of her pregnancy, she had had terrible food aversions and morning sickness, but in the past week, that had tapered off and had been replaced by random cravings and inflated excitement about certain foods, though, in her experience, the same food hadn't appeared twice yet. The whole thing struck her as odd, but a quick phone call with the doctor had assured her that whatever was happening to her was perfectly normal, and she saw no reason to doubt that, because really, what did she know? She had never been pregnant before. "I suppose there is one good thing about having less people here though", like Sue Ellen's had, Jock's mood improved immensely as he caught sight of the pecan pie and both Miss Ellie and Sue Ellen gave him a curious look as he spoke, "there's more pie to go around". Sue Ellen relaxed as the conversation moved away from the family, or lack of family, at Southfork and on to the upcoming Oil Baron's Ball, that was neutral territory and something she was actually looking forward to.

After dinner, she retired upstairs to the bedroom to take a relaxing bath; JR was guaranteed to be home late, and she'd already read every magazine in the house, so she needed something else to occupy her time alone. As she lay in the water and relaxed, her mind moved back to the Oil Baron's Ball; it was being held next weekend, the weekend before Thanksgiving, and she made a mental note to shop for a dress alone. It wasn't that she disliked Miss Ellie at all, however, shopping for dresses alone sounded like the safest option if she wanted to wait until Thanksgiving to make her pregnancy known. She'd gained a little over two pounds and although she didn't have a noticeable bump yet, her belly area was no longer as flat as it had been pre-pregnancy and her figure was beginning to change. She was glad that the fall weather had arrived in the past few weeks, because it gave her an excuse to wear thicker fabrics and more layered looks, which right now, was all she really needed to hide her changing body. The biggest reason she was most thankful for the fall weather though was that it gave her a proper excuse as to why she wasn't swimming, one the rest of the family wouldn't question. She would never wear a bikini at Southfork, but even her one-piece swimsuits showed every curve of her body, and if the new bras she'd had to purchase were any indication, she wasn't sure her that any of her swimsuits would even fit modestly anymore. As she thought about the changes her body was going through, she began to feel overly self-conscious about her appearance, her whole life, her identity had been based on how she looked and she still wasn't sure that she was mentally prepared for the upcoming changes, though it was a bit late to be having second thoughts now. What calmed her and reassured her though was the way JR had been treating her the past few weeks, it was obvious that he was pleased about the baby, but more specifically, when they were intimate, she had no doubt that he appreciated her more womanly figure, and that was exactly the confidence boost she needed. Finishing her bath, she changed into her nightgown and headed to bed, it was still early by normal standards, but she found herself tiring more and more easily lately, and coupled with the relaxing bath she'd just taken, she was asleep in no time.

To be continued…


	191. Thanksgiving Lead-up

**Dallas, Texas**

"Seth Stone… I don't understand… Martin Hurst's company… Ewing Oil has made far more deals…" JR drunkenly grumbled about the Oilman of the Year award as Sue Ellen quietly made commiserative comments and helped him out of his tuxedo. She empathised with him for his loss, because he was probably right, he worked damn hard and he deserved to be rewarded for his efforts, however, apart from losing the Oilman of the Year, they'd had a rather nice evening together at the Oil Baron's Ball, and she didn't want to focus on the negatives of the situation any longer. "I know, I know; it should have been you up there", she whispered gently as she slid his shirt off his shoulders and began to work on getting him out of his shoes and pants, "I don't know what the silly people on the committee were thinking". She spoke in soft, low tones as she undressed him and she began to feel more like his mother than his wife as he pouted and complained when she tried to get him to put his pajamas on; sober JR could be childish sometimes, but drunk JR was even worse. "Come on, let's go to bed, you'll feel better in the morning", she kissed him lightly and led him over to the bed, and despite his resistance and insistence that he didn't want to go to bed, she was entirely unsurprised when he fell asleep almost straight away. Leaving him to sleep, she prepared herself for bed and fell asleep fairly soon after he did.

JR awoke on Sunday morning with a hazy recollection of the previous night and a terrible headache. "Sue Ellen?" he called out for his wife as he awakened, though squinting at the clock, he realised why she wasn't in the bedroom; it was a little after ten in the morning, and having had only two drinks at the ball, there was no way she was hungover, so she would have been up hours ago. Sitting up, he smiled to himself as he spotted the glass of orange juice, two pills and pot of coffee that had been placed on the nightstand; Sue Ellen had a few weaknesses, but none of them related to her domestic skills. Half an hour later, he wandered down the hall in search of both his wife, and hopefully some food to settle his stomach; "you wrote this all by yourself? It's very creative, I like it" he stopped outside Lucy's bedroom door as he heard Sue Ellen's voice, and he continued to listen as curiosity got the better of him. "Mhm, we're focusing on creative writing in my English class at the moment, and with Thanksgiving next week, my teacher wanted us to use our imaginations to come up with a story where our own families were Pilgrims", JR could almost hear the pride in Lucy's voice as he listened outside the door. "It's very good, thank you for sharing it with me", Sue Ellen felt proud and a little emotional as she and Lucy spoke. She'd thought that she'd lost Lucy's attention and adoration forever, but times like these gave her hope and allowed her to see that she was just growing up and becoming more independent, but that didn't mean that she wouldn't ever need her again. "…and you know what, I think your grandma and granddaddy would like to hear it too, especially since they're two of the main characters…"; JR listened outside the door as Lucy hesitated and became shy, and he found himself grinning with pride as Sue Ellen used her maternal persuasion to talk Lucy into sharing her story with her grandparents. It pleased him greatly that he'd married a woman who tried so hard to be the perfect wife and from the evidence in front of him, looked like she would make a wonderful mother, she was a natural with children. JR listened and sensed that the conversation was about to end, and not wanting to be caught eavesdropping, he knocked on the door, as if he were just walking past. "Oh, hi uncle JR. Thanks Sue Ellen", Lucy brushed past him as she left the room and he was pleased to have Sue Ellen alone. Sue Ellen was more than surprised at JR's pleasant mood as he appeared in the doorway, she had expected him to still be upset and angry about last night, however, if he wasn't going to mention it, then neither was she.

Four days later, on Thursday morning, JR awoke after a difficult night's sleep and instead of being pleased and looking forward to the holiday celebration and the day off work, he was instead filled with feelings of dread and apprehension. Ultimately, the day was going to be a good one, they were finally going to give their families the news they'd been waiting years for and he knew that everyone would be thrilled, however, before they got to that point, they had to deal with Patricia Shepard and all of the stress and anxiety that came with her arrival. It wasn't really his own sanity that he was worried about as much as it was Sue Ellen's. He disliked Patricia, but he dealt with her in a polite manner, however, Sue Ellen and her mother had a difficult relationship and no matter how hard Sue Ellen tried to keep things neutral and good between them, there was always conflict, and conflict was the last thing she needed right now. He may not have been the best husband to her, but that didn't mean that he didn't care and feel protective of her, and when it came to her mother, Sue Ellen was extra sensitive; their already tense relationship combined with her pregnancy hormones gave him no doubt that he would be dealing with his wife's tears before noon. Looking at the clock, he relaxed back into the pillows, they still had over an hour before they had to be up and downstairs for breakfast, and being a pregnant woman, Sue Ellen needed all the sleep she could get. He really was thrilled that she was pregnant and since learning of that development in their relationship, something inside of him had changed. It wasn't that he hadn't loved her before, but now that she was carrying his child, the heir to the Ewing name and fortune, he had a deeper understanding of what love really meant and he felt more connected to her than he had in months. It was something he couldn't really explain, but despite the fact that he loved his life as a bachelor and then as a husband who occasionally enjoyed the company of other women, he really was looking forward to having his own little family and he felt protective of that new development. No one, especially not Patricia Shepard, was going to ruin this for them.

To be continued…


	192. Family Thanksgiving

**Dallas, Texas**

"You look very… womanly", "Is that a new dress?", "Kristin's been taking dance lessons. Have you been keeping up with your exercise regimen?" "More snacks? Are you sure you want to eat that much before dinner?" Sue Ellen repeated the words in her mind and wanted to cry, though she held herself together for the sake of her image and because she didn't want to give her mother the satisfaction of knowing how deeply her criticisms hurt. Being in the same room as her family and her in-laws wasn't at all where she wanted to be or what she wanted to be doing right now, but socially, she was obligated to be there, at least physically anyway. Although she often hated being ignored, today she was content to just blend into the background and not be the centre of attention, so that's exactly what she did, sitting quietly on the couch as she 'watched the parade', though truthfully, she hadn't been paying any attention to the television. She was relieved when no one seemed to notice her lack of participation in the conversation, but she knew that despite the fact that everyone was occupied with conversation or the parade on the television, if she slipped out of the room for a while, her disappearance would be noted fairly quickly. The long list of questions she'd face when she did eventually return was enough to put her off the idea of leaving, so instead, she found herself physically present, but mentally and emotionally distant. Her mother had a wonderful talent for making something wonderful into something awful and she already felt emotionally drained. Despite the fact that her mother and sister had only been in Dallas for a little over an hour, she was already ready for them to leave, because in that hour, her mother had taken every opportunity to direct their conversation back toward Sue Ellen's changing body and none of her comments were positive.

Although Sue Ellen tried to ignore her mother's words and remind herself that she was pregnant and it was completely natural for her body to change, she still found herself feeling sad and hurt that her mother always made such comments toward her. What hurt the most was that the comments and criticisms her mother made weren't just about her appearance, they were catty observations about the way she lived her life and she felt more self-conscious than she had in a long time. She hadn't realised that she'd changed so much physically, because no one had said anything to her, not even the DOA ladies, and they were known for their Southern 'charm'. Truthfully, she wasn't really sure that she had actually changed all that much, because she was still just barely pregnant and her mother was known for being overly critical, she was always looking for negative things to comment on, so really, even if she weren't pregnant, she would have found something else to critique, it was just who she was. However, just because it was who she was, didn't make the thought of her mother always having something negative to say any more bearable, especially in her heightened emotional state, and being in the same room with her or having to spend the weekend with her was the furthest thing from what she wanted to do. She had been looking forward to finally telling their families the good news, but now, she was dreading it; her mother's presence had reminded her that no matter what state she was in, she would always find the negative side, and with pregnancy came weight gain, her mother's favourite criticism.

JR eyed his wife as she stared off into space and although he hadn't personally heard her say anything, he just knew that Patricia was responsible for her mood. The drive home from the airport had been filled with small talk and then when they arrived at Southfork, his father had pulled him and Bobby into a conversation about the football game later in the day and he'd lost track of what the women were doing and discussing. Now, watching the parade and socialising as a family in the living room, he had a free moment to ponder what had happened in his absence, because Sue Ellen had gone from looking relatively happy to downright miserable, and he had a suspicion that her pregnancy mood swings alone were not to blame for this change. They'd discussed it at length and had decided that sometime before dinner would be the right time to tell the family their good news, however, from the way Sue Ellen looked right now, he wasn't sure she would be able to hold herself together long enough for them to present the news in a united, happy way. Although dinner wasn't for hours and now definitely not an appropriate time to make their announcement, he knew that in Sue Ellen's emotional state, her mood was only going to worsen and if he let her hide her unhappiness for much longer, there wouldn't be an appropriate moment all day. What she needed to do was deal with her emotion, and he knew one way he'd like her to do it, though with the rest of the family present, it definitely didn't seem appropriate to call Patricia out on her rudeness, nor did he think Sue Ellen would actually do it even if the opportunity did present itself. She definitely needed some time alone to deal with her emotions though, because he was fairly tuned into the signs now, and from the sad, empty look in her eyes, she was heading straight for an emotional meltdown. Excusing himself, he walked into the kitchen and asked Teresa a few leading questions, finally getting an answer that he could use to his advantage.

"Miss Sue Ellen?" no one took much notice of Teresa as she appeared in the living room, collecting a few empty glasses and making a quiet comment asking Sue Ellen about the pumpkin pie she had baked for the family, so when Sue Ellen followed her out of the room, it didn't seem unnatural and no one questioned her exit. Sue Ellen was a little confused as Teresa said that she had a few questions for her, she was usually so competent, however, she didn't care why she was being asked to clarify simple things, because it gave her the perfect excuse to get away from the family for a while, exactly what she'd been wanting for the past hour. Walking into the kitchen and seeing JR standing there waiting for her, she soon realised that her original judgement of Teresa was correct, she was well capable of performing her duties as the Southfork maid, duties that included doing as her employers asked, and it was clear to her now that JR had been behind the mystery pie questions. JR watched his wife as she breathed a sigh of relief at being away from her mother and the stress of the party for a moment, but he could tell that she wasn't entirely relaxed yet and she was still repressing everything she felt. Sighing to himself, he realised that she was still on an emotional down and it was going to take her more than a few minutes alone to collect her thoughts and bring herself back to a stable emotional state. He didn't understand her sometimes, but he knew that all he could do was wait it out, because from what she'd explained to him, even she felt like her emotions and moods were out of control sometimes, so getting angry or frustrated with her would just upset her even more and aggravate the problem, not fix it. However, just because he couldn't get upset with Sue Ellen didn't mean that he couldn't be angry with Patricia for causing today's problems, because despite not hearing her say a whole lot and not having a confirmation from Sue Ellen, he was almost certain that whatever she was upset about right now was due to something her mother had said. For the sake of social politeness and having not personally been present to respond to any of her cruel comments, he'd kept his mouth shut, however, when Sue Ellen was feeling better and they re-joined the party, he was done playing the charming Texan gentleman where it came to Patricia. He was sick and tired of dealing with the aftermath of her actions without dealing with the problem directly, so from now on, if she was going to be rude, then he wasn't going to feel obligated to bite his tongue and be civil toward her either. She treated her daughter terribly and he wouldn't just stand by and watch it happen anymore, because, for all his own faults and mistakes, he did love his wife and he was protective of her.

To be continued...


	193. Thanksgiving Announcement

**Dallas, Texas**

JR eyed the television as the parade ended and Lucy and Kristin turned their attention to the backgammon set on the table; quietly walking over and switching it off, he made eye contact with Sue Ellen to confirm that she was ready. It had taken a little while, but she seemed to be in a good place emotionally at the moment, and with everyone gathered in the living room and the general atmosphere in the room appearing to be light and pleasant, now seemed like the ideal moment to make their announcement. "Ahem", JR loudly cleared his throat as he stood next to Sue Ellen and one by one, the family quietened down to listen to what he had to say. "Sue Ellen and I have some news to share", he paused for a just a moment, though his pause appeared to be too long for Jock's liking, "come on JR, don't keep us in suspense". Taking a deep breath, JR, took Sue Ellen's hand, "the long awaited Ewing heir is finally here, Sue Ellen's pregnant, we're going to have a baby", he grinned from ear to ear as he finally spoke the words he'd been holding in for weeks and that everyone had been waiting for years to hear. "A baby?" Miss Ellie was the first to speak, excitedly repeating the words as if she were confirming them in her mind, and it wasn't long before Jock joined her excitement, "a baby! That is news". Sue Ellen couldn't stop smiling as JR delivered the news, she was happy, truly happy, and she felt like she was finally able to just relax and enjoy herself for the first time in months, because everyone finally had what they wanted, and it felt wonderful to be the one responsible for everyone's happiness.

As if it were choreographed, both Miss Ellie and Jock stood and walked over to the couple, Miss Ellie hugging Sue Ellen tightly as she congratulated her, and Jock hugging JR and giving him a pat on the back. "I just can't believe it. My oldest boy finally got himself a baby. Damn, I'm proud of you, damn proud of you!" JR couldn't help but feel a little emotional as his father expressed positive feelings toward him, it was a rare occurrence in his life, "thank you daddy". Patricia hung back as Jock and Miss Ellie enthusiastically congratulated the couple, and when Sue Ellen was free again, she gave her a quick hug, "congratulations dear", she and Sue Ellen had a more formal relationship and although she was happy about the new development, she didn't feel entirely comfortable with energetic, informal displays of affection. Sue Ellen didn't particularly mind that her mother was reserved with her affections, she was used to it by now, and a quiet congratulations and quick hug were better than a judgemental look and a critical comment, this was a happy occasion and she didn't want her mother's negativity to ruin the moment or her memories. After the new grandparents had finished congratulating the couple, the rest of the family joined in the celebration and both Sue Ellen and JR beamed with happiness and pride as they temporarily became the most popular members of the Ewing family.

Sue Ellen was glad that her body had somewhat sorted out its sensitivity to the smell and taste of certain foods, because as the family sat down to eat their Thanksgiving dinner, her mouth watered at the sight of the feast that had been prepared. However, her excitement and happiness were quickly squashed and replaced by guilt and self-consciousness as her mother eyed her plate and for some reason, saw it completely necessary to make a comment, "are you sure you want to eat all of that? I notice you've already gained a bit of weight, and you know the baby is still tiny, so it's not the one responsible for all of that. Pregnancy is no excuse to let yourself go". JR closed his eyes and tried to control his temper as his mother-in-law criticised her daughter again, they were at the dinner table and what he truly wanted to say wasn't exactly family-friendly, however, as he looked at his wife, it became clear that he had to say something. "You know what? I've tolerated this for long enough, but no more. Sue Ellen may be your daughter, but she's my wife, she's carrying my child and I am in control now. So help me God, if you do or say one more negative thing to her or if I even get the sense that she's upset by something related to you, you can say goodbye to the Ewing privilege that our marriage affords you and you can say goodbye to the opportunity to be a part of your grandchild's life". He looked her in the eye as he spoke and put special emphasis on the phrase 'Ewing privilege' so that she knew exactly what he was referring to, and that he was dead serious. JR had dealt with Patricia enough to know that although she would hate the idea of never seeing her grandchild, the idea of losing access to the money and social connections that came from her daughter marrying into the Ewing family was worse. Although Patricia could see the anger and seriousness in JR's eyes, she found herself questioning him, "is that a threat?" even if he had the intent to financially cut her off and sever familial ties, surely there was no way Sue Ellen, nor the rest of the Ewing family would allow him to be so cruel. "No, it's a promise", he was angry and determined, and he no longer cared whether everyone else could see his true feelings, Patricia needed to be dealt with once and for all, it had been a long time coming.

Sue Ellen sat uncomfortably at the dinner table as her husband and her mother had words with each other, neither one of them was the type of person that liked to lose, so the situation was bound to get messy. However, deep down, she was actually thrilled that JR had said something, she was humiliated by her mother's constant criticisms and the malevolent part of her personality enjoyed that her mother was finally being put in her place. If she had it her way, she wouldn't see her mother nearly as much as she currently did, and she didn't really see any real reason why JR should have to keep being financially generous toward her mother and sister, so his threatening promise didn't bother her at all. What did bother her though was the fact that they were having their conversation in front of the rest of the family when it probably should have just been between the two of them, it didn't seem proper to publicise their issues. Clearing his throat, Jock broke the uncomfortable silence the entire table had fallen into, "Sue Ellen, you eat whatever you feel is necessary, I want my grandson to be happy and healthy, and I know Ewing men, we're happiest and healthiest when we're well fed", he winked at her before asking Bobby to pass the sweet potatoes. Frankly, he agreed with JR, Patricia had overstepped the mark too many times, however, this was neither the time nor the place to be having a serious discussion, and with the way JR was looking at Patricia, he knew that he had to intervene if he wanted this Thanksgiving to remain a positive one in everyone's memories.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Credit for some of the dialogue goes to D. C. Fontana and Richard Fontana who wrote the episode **_**Act of Love**_**. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	194. Parents

**Dallas, Texas**

The news had spread like wildfire after Thanksgiving and by Monday afternoon, even those who had never personally met Mr and Mrs JR Ewing knew about the future heir to the Ewing throne and the vast empire and fortune that came with it. JR had known that his father wanted a grandson and a solid succession plan before he would seriously consider retiring and making JR the president of Ewing Oil, however, he hadn't quiet realised just how serious his father was about that, not until it was finally real, which, as of last week, it now was. Being only sixty-two years of age and knowing that his grandson hadn't even been born yet, Jock didn't feel that it was necessary to begin the retirement process just yet. However, it did feel good to know that if he ever did decide that he was done with full time work and wanted to take a step back from the business, he wouldn't have anything to worry about in regards to the future of Ewing Oil and his insistence that it always remain a family company. Walking around his office as he thought about the past few days, JR stopped to look at a framed picture of he and his father that had been taken when he was just a young boy, over twenty years had passed since that day, but the memory was still fresh in his mind. He hadn't had much of a childhood outside of Ewing Oil and he would have enjoyed a little bit more balance and diversity in his life, but he had truly enjoyed being Jock Ewing's son and the future heir to the Ewing empire, and he couldn't wait to share some of the same experiences with his own son. In a way, although he wanted his future son to share in the same father-son bonding experiences with him as he and his father had had, other memories of his childhood and the stories Sue Ellen had shared about hers made him hesitant about becoming a father. He knew Sue Ellen feared becoming her mother, but in a way, he also feared becoming his father. It wasn't that his father was a bad man or someone he disrespected, it wasn't that at all, however, as much as he loved his father, they hadn't had the kind of relationship that he wanted to have with his own son. If anything, the relationship Bobby and Jock had was something he wanted for he and his own son, however, even that relationship wasn't one he wanted to replicate, because the fact was, Jock Ewing had three sons, but only one of them was his favourite, and only one of them truly felt his love in all areas of life.

Then there was the relationship he had with his mother, and although he wasn't a woman, he wanted his future son to have a better relationship with him than he had had with his mother, and he knew that with even just a little bit of love and attention, that he probably would have at least that. He didn't remember a whole lot about his very early childhood, but he remembered enough to know that when Gary was born, his mother cast him aside as if he were nothing to her, handing him off to his father to raise without so much as an explanation why or a reassurance that it wasn't his fault. As a small, shy child, the change from the comfort and kindness of his mother's parenting style to the harshness of his father's parenting style had come as quite a shock, and he'd never really forgiven her for just forgetting about him the way she had. Her actions all those years ago had established the distant and confusing relationship they still had and he still held onto some of the resentment, anger and upset from that time in his life. He knew that his mother loved him, because she wasn't an evil woman, but to a young child, knowing that a parent's love existed, but not feeling it, was a fairly damaging thing. Whatever close relationship had existed between he and his mother in the past had ceased when she handed him off to his father to raise and they'd moved into a new territory from that point, one that was polite and generally acquainted, but not close, not the way she and Gary were, or even the way she and Bobby were. Really, it was only a few years ago, just before he started dating Sue Ellen, that she began to take an interest in his life, and even then it was more about judging his life choices and trying to push him toward 'the right path' than it was about wanting to get to know him. No, he was determined to have a better relationship with his son than he had with either of his parents, and he knew that Sue Ellen was too, because they'd had equally dysfunctional childhoods and neither one of them wanted to repeat their parents mistakes.

He was especially conscious of the way he'd been raised as a sibling, because he and Sue Ellen had always discussed having multiple children, and not recreating the sibling mess of his own childhood was incredibly important to him, because he never wanted another child to have to deal with the things he'd had to, it just wouldn't be fair. His parents had done the absolute worst thing they could with their three sons, they'd never attempted to treat them equally, or even pretended that they were trying to, and their obvious favouritism, out of proportion punishment and unequal standards caused irreversible damage to the individuals involved and ruined any potential for a real, genuinely close sibling relationship. If he and Sue Ellen were lucky enough to have more than one child, then he wanted them to have the opportunity to develop a close sibling bond, not grow up hating each other because one child was treated like a prince and the other like a peasant. He knew for Sue Ellen it was important to her that their children have something more to bond over than a mutual dislike of their parents, because she always regretted that Patricia's parenting pitted her and Kristin against each other in a competition and never gave them the opportunity to just be sisters. Patricia had a high level of expectation for Sue Ellen, but for Kristin, that level was even higher, because Sue Ellen had always set the bar so high, and to impress her mother meant she had to do more and do better. It was a totally unfair competition in many areas, but even their age difference alone meant that Kristin was always playing catch up and being compared to Sue Ellen, and she resented her for it. Sue Ellen wanted so much more for her children and JR was right behind her in that wish, because with their future child on the way and his future as the president of Ewing Oil now secure, he had almost everything he wanted in life, and to ruin that with bad parenting skills would be the ultimate disappointment. The sound of his intercom buzzing broke his thoughts and putting the photograph back on the shelf, he returned to his desk and to his work, though today, the thoughts of his future life never quite left his mind.

To be continued…


	195. Planning

**Dallas, Texas**

"I've been ready for that child; have been for a long time. That kid is going to have everything", Jock took a sip of his bourbon as he and Punk sat at their table in the Cattlemen's Club, "a Shetland pony, a go-kart, one of those big trainsets, a remote control plane, whatever he wants, he'll have. I spoil Lucy, and she appears to be a very happy young lady; I spoiled Bobby rotten and he turned out to be the best of the lot. Yes sir, that kid's going to have everything", he paused for a moment as he took another sip of his drink, "my grandson, John Ross Ewing III", he grinned as he said the words, "Ellie doesn't like me making it so obvious, but I damn sure hope it's a boy". Punk, being the good ol' boy that he was, and being Jock Ewing's friend of many years, knew exactly what he meant when he stated his desires for a grandson and had no problem with his thoughts. It wasn't that he wouldn't love a granddaughter, of course he would, Lucy was evidence of that, however, a grandson was special, the first grandson held an important place in the family, one that Jock had been ready and waiting to have filled for a long time. Not only was John Ross Ewing III responsible for carrying on the family name, he was the future heir to both Ewing Oil, a large percentage of the Ewing fortune and he was the future patriarch of the Ewing family; he was wanted, needed, and long-awaited. Every man dreamed of having a son, and he'd been lucky enough to have three of his own, and no matter how much one of those sons had disappointed him and continued to frustrate him, he didn't regret any of his children. Now, his eldest son was about to become a father himself and he was about to make him a grandfather again and he couldn't have been happier about the expansion of the Ewing family, his family. "I'll drink to that", Punk held his glass up and made a toast, though he and Jock were the only two people at the table, "to John Ross Ewing III", the two men grinned and clinked glasses as they toasted before continuing their discussion.

"Look at this one Sue Ellen, isn't it just precious", Miss Ellie held up a pink, infant sized snowsuit as they perused the baby and childrenswear department of The Store, "can you believe that they really fit into these things? It's been a long time since we've had a baby on Southfork…" her mind wandered as she looked through the racks of clothing; she had enjoyed being a mother to her babies, though it was when they became children and teenagers that the real parenting challenges appeared and she couldn't pretend that she'd enjoyed all of those. She hadn't been a proper hands-on mother to her sons for years now, they were grown men who ran their own lives, and even Lucy was almost a teenager now and although she still needed her grandmother's love and attention sometimes, she was becoming more and more independent every day. With the current and future changes in her role as a grandmother and surrogate mother to her granddaughter, Miss Ellie was thrilled that JR and Sue Ellen were finally giving her another grandchild, someone she could focus her pent-up motherly attention on. She wasn't naïve though, she knew things would be different with this grandchild, its parents were actually present and capable and as much as she may have liked the opportunity to do it again, she couldn't be a mother, she had to know her place, as a grandmother. However, being a grandmother wasn't a punishment, a child was a blessing, no matter where the child came from, and just from spending a little bit of time with Sue Ellen, she had no doubt that she would get to show her maternal side with her new grandchild. Sue Ellen had already begun asking the questions that any first time mother would ask, and she, being a mother to three sons and a surrogate mother to a granddaughter, felt good and useful when she was able to answer the questions and reassure Sue Ellen that everything would be ok. She despised how poorly Patricia treated Sue Ellen and how much that mistreatment had damaged Sue Ellen's self-esteem, but in a selfish way she did enjoy the closeness in their relationship that came from the distance Sue Ellen had in her relationship with her own mother. She was pleased and felt privileged to be the person that Sue Ellen felt comfortable coming to for advice and reassurance. Sue Ellen was a wonderful daughter-in-law, she was a pleasant young lady, she was eager to learn and carry out the Ewing traditions, she adored JR and would do anything to make him happy, and as a mother, Miss Ellie couldn't have asked for a better wife for her son or woman to one day be the mistress of Southfork.

Sue Ellen looked up at her mother-in-law as she held up the tiny item of clothing and she smiled and then giggled as she realised what it was, "its adorable Miss Ellie, but the baby is due in late May, I don't think it'll need a snowsuit". Miss Ellie laughed to herself as Sue Ellen's words repeating in her mind as she put the snowsuit back on its hanger; Sue Ellen was right, they were in Texas, a place where the summers required no more than light cotton clothing and a baby would easily overheat in anything thicker. Looking around at the racks, she realised that almost everything on display at the moment was more winter oriented and unless they wanted to buy the baby's 1972 winter wardrobe a year in advance, they'd probably be better waiting until the spring clothing came into stock. "I think you're right, and I'm not sure we'll find any clothing here that's appropriate for the summer just yet", she laughed as she spoke, "I didn't even consider it before now, but I think we should rearrange our planned schedule. We'll wait until the spring to buy the majority of the baby's clothes, and instead of decorating the nursery in the spring, we'll focus on that and buying all of the other items that aren't seasonally dependent in the next few weeks. As I said before, it's better to start thinking about these things early, because believe me, by the time the baby is ready to come, especially in the summer, you won't feel like doing anything too taxing, and then when you feel that way, you won't have to worry, because everything will be ready and waiting for that little angel". Sue Ellen nodded, Miss Ellie made a lot of sense and she'd raised four babies herself, she trusted what she said, "I agree. Have you thought about how we should decorate the nursery? I was thinking something bright and colourful, but then I began to think that maybe that would be too distracting for the baby. I'd really like your opinion; I'm so new to all of this", Sue Ellen blushed as she admitted that she didn't really have a clue what she was doing, but she was reassured as Miss Ellie agreed with her idea and launched into a discussion about wallpaper, furniture, toys and decorations. Selfishly, she realised that she loved the idea of being pregnant not only for the baby that would result at the end of the process, but for the sheer pleasure of having a real title and role that came with real things to focus on and do, and she loved having someone to learn from and share the experiences with. She couldn't remember a time in her married life where things had been better for she or JR and she felt blessed to be experiencing that now.

To be continued…


	196. Sunday Morning

**Dallas, Texas**

As she rolled over on Sunday morning and gently awoke, Sue Ellen's stomach dropped as she felt the cold, empty sheets on JR's side of the bed. There was absolutely no way that he had just gotten up early, not with the way he'd been drinking at the party last night, and somewhere inside her, she knew he hadn't come to bed at all, a thought that worried her deeply. It was the week before Christmas and they'd had the annual Ewing Christmas party last night, it had been fun, but by the end of the night, she'd been exhausted. There was something about being pregnant that meant that her energy was drained much faster now than it usually was, and having to play hostess and make sure that she and JR fulfilled their social obligation to personally meet and greet each guest at the party was more tiring to her now than it normally would have been. As the final guests began to leave the party, she had said her goodbyes and stayed as long as socially expected before Miss Ellie noticed that she looked tired and released her from her social duties. Quickly explaining to JR where she was going, he'd made a quiet comment to her about joining her later, though he said something about having a few more drinks with the other men first; she'd then slipped upstairs to go to bed, falling asleep almost as soon as she lay down. It wasn't that she didn't trust JR to be out on his own, because she did, and she had to if she wanted them to have a good marriage, however, there was something inside her that was telling her that something was wrong. If the feeling she had wasn't distrust or suspicion about his fidelity, then she figured that it was anxiety related to his safety, because the thought of him being hurt or worse, dead, was something she feared, and it was something she just couldn't deal with right now. She wasn't sure whether it was her pregnancy hormones or whether she'd always been an emotional mess, but whatever she was feeling this morning translated into a steady stream of tears and an increasingly worsening feeling in her stomach, one that she could only attribute to anxiety, though she hated not knowing exactly what she was anxious about.

Across town, JR awoke with a pounding headache and looked around the room at the unfamiliar surroundings as he tried to work out where he was and why he was there; he was conscious enough to recognize that he was in a hotel room, but an exact explanation as to why he was there wasn't as obvious. However, he wasn't stupid, if he was naked and hungover in a hotel room, there was definitely more to the story than what he would publicly admit; he knew he'd had female company last night, but he didn't know who, though he didn't particularly care either, and he was thankful that whoever she was appeared to have left already. The situation he was in right now wasn't exactly new to him, he'd slept with plenty of women in his lifetime, but the hangover he had this morning was one of the worst he could remember. His headache, shakiness and excessive thirst were expected, but the lack of memories related to the previous night's activities was something that bothered him, he didn't like to not be in control, and not remembering things made him feel uneasy. Picking up the phone, he called down to room service to get some pills for his headache and some coffee to help him wake up; he then dialled the outside extension number and called the phone at the Ewing condo. It was too late now to return home and pretend he'd spent the night, so he needed a story for when either his mother or his wife inevitably asked him where he'd been all night. If no one was at the condo, then he could pretend that he'd spent the night there, and if someone was there, then he'd use them as his alibi. After five or six rings, someone finally answered the phone, "hello?" JR sighed with relief as he recognized Bobby's voice, and he was thrilled, but also empathetic when he listened to the way he was speaking, he sounded almost as bad as JR felt, and it made JR feel a little bit better to know that whatever had happened last night hadn't just affected him. After a quick conversation, he deduced that he, Jock, Bobby, Ray and Punk had gone to the Longhorn Bar after the party last night, and at some point, he, Bobby and Ray had moved on to another bar; the rest was for him to figure out on his own, though he had a fair idea of what had happened. He didn't ask Bobby whether he had companionship or not, because he already knew the answer if he was at the condo and not Southfork, but he did make it clear that he was going to need to pretend that they'd both spent the night at the condo. JR was the natural liar of the family and already had a story for them to use, their reasoning for staying in town was purely to do with convenience; the condo was closer to the bar and it seemed more logical to stay there than to get taxi all the way back to Southfork at that time of night. In his hungover state, Bobby didn't really argue with his older brother's request, truthfully, he felt so bad right now that he would have said or done anything to get JR to stop talking.

"Sue Ellen?" Miss Ellie knocked on the bedroom door and grew concerned when her knocks went unanswered. She and Lucy had been the only people at breakfast this morning, and from the state Jock had come home in last night, she had a fair idea of why neither Bobby nor JR was at breakfast. However, Sue Ellen had gone to bed almost as soon as the party had ended and it was unusual for her to miss breakfast, even in the first few weeks of her pregnancy, when she'd had bad morning sickness, she'd always made an appearance at mealtimes. Opening the door, she gasped as she found Sue Ellen crying in bed, it had been a long time since she'd seen this girl and she wondered what had happened to cause her to act like this, because from being around Sue Ellen, she knew that her tears almost always had a reason. Walking into the bedroom, she closed the door and sat down on the edge of the bed, "Sue Ellen?" she spoke calmly and softly as she tried to get her to calm down and verbalise her feelings. After a few minutes, she was able to surmise that JR had done something to worry or upset Sue Ellen, though she couldn't quite work out what, especially since Sue Ellen and JR's marriage had appeared to be good in the past few months. "Shh, everything's going to be fine", she stroked her hair until Sue Ellen's breathing calmed; "he could have called me. He knows I worry", the mumbled words were all Miss Ellie needed to hear before she worked out why Sue Ellen was so upset. Once again, JR's lack of forethought was coming back to bite him and she sighed to herself as she silently cursed his inconsiderateness; JR, like Jock, Punk, or any other married man, was allowed to have a night out with his friends, but Sue Ellen was right, it would have been nice if he'd at least called her. She quietly explained that sometimes men didn't think about things like women did, but she was sure JR was fine and that he'd be home soon, and in a way, Sue Ellen actually felt reassured by Miss Ellie's explanation. A few minutes later, Sue Ellen pulled herself together and felt silly for crying about something she couldn't control, "I'm sorry Miss Ellie, I overreacted. You're right, I'm sure JR just didn't realise that I'd want to know about his plans. I did tell him I was going upstairs to sleep anyway", she smiled at her mother-in-law and got out of bed, walking toward her closet and pushing past whatever negative feelings she'd been having about JR. Miss Ellie wasn't convinced that Sue Ellen was really over it, but she let it go for now, leaving her to finish getting ready by herself, but also making a mental note to have a word with JR about being a more considerate husband. He'd been doing so well over the past few months, and she really was pleased that he and Sue Ellen seemed to be happy for the most part, but sometimes he needed a little guidance, and she was prepared to do whatever she needed to to make sure that their marriage stayed strong. After all, they had a baby coming in just a few months, and if their relationship was weak at that point, then it would be extremely strained under the stress of raising a child; no, she wanted them to have the best life they could, and if that meant interfering a little bit, then so be it.

To be continued…


	197. Monogamy

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR!" Sue Ellen dramatically stood and ran over to greet her husband as he and Bobby walked in the door; cringing at the excessive noise she was making, he mumbled something about spending the night at the condo and turned his attention to Teresa to ask for some coffee. It wasn't exactly the warm welcome she'd been hoping for, but she was still relieved that he was home safely and she felt better about whatever had happened last night as he explained that he'd stayed at the condo, his story backed up by the fact that he and Bobby had arrived home together. It wasn't that she didn't trust him, because she did, but sometimes she still couldn't believe that he'd chosen her to be his wife and she still had insecurities about not being enough for him, and her lack of self-confidence often led her to overthink things and imagine scenarios that were exaggerated or completely false. She also had the added insecurity of knowing that he had cheated on her when they were dating, she'd seen he and Julie with her own eyes and she wasn't so naïve that she really believed Julie was the only woman he'd been with during those years. However, although their marriage had had its ups and downs, she wanted to believe and mostly did believe that he'd been faithful to her, and she had no evidence of anything to dispute that belief. Seeing he and Bobby enter the house at the same time and not hearing Bobby dispute JR's explanation made her feel better about everything and she was now convinced that Miss Ellie had been right when she said that men were just not as considerate as women and that she'd been worrying for nothing. Re-entering the room, Teresa handed both JR and Bobby their coffees; "if you'll all excuse me, I'm going to go change into some fresh clothes", Bobby made a quick comment and then walked upstairs. "I'll go and see if Jock needs anything", Miss Ellie excused herself too as she realised that she wasn't needed nor wanted there anymore, leaving just JR and Sue Ellen standing in the foyer area.

"I'm glad you're home safely, I was so worried", Sue Ellen leaned forward and relaxed as she hugged him, though her relaxed mind-set didn't last long as she noticed the faint scent of women's perfume on his shirt collar and the familiar feeling of intuition related anxiety returned to her stomach. There had to be another explanation, she didn't want to believe that he'd cheated on her, but the evidence before her clearly showed that another woman had been close enough to him for something to happen, and he had spent the whole night away from home, so naturally, she began to think the worst. She tensed up as she processed it and tried to come to a different conclusion other than the obvious one, and she relaxed a little as she tried to convince herself that it had occurred at the party, not after the party. They had greeted all of their guests last night, half of whom were women, and he hadn't changed clothes since then, yes, that was where the perfume smell had come from, there was a totally innocent explanation, or so she reasoned. JR suddenly felt awkward as he felt her body tense in the middle of their hug; he hadn't been entirely truthful in his earlier explanation and he hoped that his lies had been convincing enough for her to not question him, though her body language was telling him that that may not be the case. "I'm sorry darlin', I suppose we just lost track of time, and then it was too late to call when we got to the condo, especially since I remembered that you were tired at the end of the party last night and you said you were going to bed. I didn't want to wake you", he paused after he gave her his rehearsed explanation and hoped she didn't question him. "Bobby had the right idea, I'm going to head upstairs and change into some fresh clothes too; no one wants to wear the same clothes for more than twelve hours", he gave her a light kiss before turning and walking up the stairs, breathing a sigh of relief when she didn't make any move to follow him. It wasn't that she'd done anything wrong or upset him, but he really needed a few moments alone to clear his head before talking to her again. He didn't like the way he felt this morning, it wasn't how he liked things to go in situations like these; he usually had a better recollection of what had happened and he usually had more time and space between his other women and his wife, and the way the situation was playing out this morning was not ideal. Infidelity wasn't anything new to him, but he usually handled it better; out of town business trips were ideal, working overtime provided a good excuse, late lunches and 'afternoon meetings' were a guilty pleasure of his, and providing entertainment and benefits to persuade potential business partners to do business with Ewing Oil was one of his personal favourites. All of his usual methods had one thing in common, he was always in control of the situation, but this morning, control was the last word he would have used to describe the way he felt.

His biggest annoyance was that he had to completely fabricate a story, there was risk that came with a full lie rather than a half-truth and he didn't like the potential consequences of that risk; in business, he was a risk-taker, but with Sue Ellen's delicate disposition, he'd rather err on the side of caution. He understood that the safest way to make sure that she stayed happy and healthy was to pay attention to her and not do anything that would upset her, however, truthfully, he was selfish, and he liked the idea of having both the perfect traditional, ladylike wife, and other women in his life. Monogamy was expected of his wife, but he didn't hold himself to the same standard, and in his mind, everything made perfect sense. His wife was there to listen to him, support him unconditionally, love him and do whatever he asked of her, but in choosing a true lady to be his wife, it felt wrong to also expect her to do the things that he enjoyed, sexually speaking. She was supposed to be conservative, demure and shy and for the most part, that's exactly how she was, except for the very rare occasions where she took a more dominant approach. Mentally, he just couldn't bring himself to see her in any way other than as a lady and he usually found himself feeling guilty if he did treat her rougher than he was supposed to. He didn't want to upset his wife, so it made total sense to him that he would seek other, lesser women to fulfil his darker, dirtier fantasies; he couldn't control what he liked, but he could control the way he sought satisfaction, or at least, that's how he reasoned it in his mind. There was also a more selfish side to his actions though, one that had nothing to do with how Sue Ellen felt and everything to do with power and ego; JR Ewing almost always got what he wanted and he enjoyed women, money and power the most. The previous night had played out less than ideally, but from the lack of further questioning by his wife, he was fairly sure that he'd gotten away with it this time, and for that, he was grateful. She was pregnant, and fragile, and he never intentionally meant to hurt her; ignorance really was bliss in this situation, and he wanted it to stay that way for as long as possible.

To be continued…


	198. Work

**Dallas, Texas**

"Mama", Bobby greeted his mother as he walked into the living room for pre-dinner cocktails, "daddy said he and JR would try to make it home in time for dinner, but he sends his apologies if they get stuck at the office. There's a lot going on that they have to get done before we shut down over the holidays", he gave a casual explanation as he walked over to the bar to pour himself a drink. Turning as Sue Ellen walked into the room, he politely greeted her and asked for her drink preference "would you like wine or club soda?" He didn't think much of his sister-in-law's presence, she was just there, as usual, though she did have the forlorn, sad expression on her face again today, the one that usually meant she was upset about something JR had done, or not done. "Just club soda tonight, thank you", Sue Ellen spoke softly and quietly and it was clear that she wasn't in a happy mood this evening, after all, it was the fourth night this week that JR had been absent from cocktails and she was getting lonely in her withdrawal from being the centre of his attention. She knew not to expect too much from JR, he was a busy man and he had important responsibilities to deal with, however, when things were calmer at work and he had more time to pay attention to her, she always managed to convince herself that it would stay that way forever. So when he inevitably got busy with work again and wasn't able to give her so much of his time and attention, she had a hard time adjusting back into her regular life.

Bobby had to feel a little bit for Sue Ellen, her whole life was about pleasing JR, but if he knew his brother as well as he thought he did, then she was setting herself up for disappointment in the long run. No matter how attentive JR could be in short bursts, he had a million other things on his mind, and his wife was not a top priority. It was nice to know that she tried hard to be a dedicated, traditional wife, but really, she probably would have been happier if she did more things for her own benefit instead of focusing on JR all the time. In general, he didn't really have a problem with JR enjoying the company of women, it was only natural for a man to feel that way, however, in observing the effect JR's absence had on his wife, it occurred to Bobby that what JR was doing in his free time was less than upstanding. He wasn't stupid, JR may have been actually working right now and many of the other times he spent nights at the office outside of business hours, but that didn't mean that he was always working, and it wasn't entirely fair to Sue Ellen for him to blame Ewing Oil for his distance. Bobby's role in the business involved travelling and spreading goodwill to anyone who could help Ewing Oil, but while he was dealing with mostly out-of-town associates, JR was providing the same services to their associates within the local area. JR had been the one that taught him how to use sex as a weapon in business negotiations, and he'd never discouraged personally partaking in the very thing he was promoting, so even if JR wasn't actively seeking other women outside of his work, he was definitely not abstaining from fully participating in whatever business deals he was negotiating.

"Thank you", Sue Ellen took the glass that he handed to her before pausing, "is JR working late again tonight?" she hated the way she felt when he wasn't around and she hated that she couldn't stop thinking about the 'what if' of the situation. Although she was almost certain that JR really did have work to do and was at the office with his father, she still had a niggling suspicion that there was something more to his actions, something she really didn't want to believe. She and JR had been so close in the past few months, but now, all of a sudden, he'd gotten busy with work again and the wall had gone up between them. On one hand, she loved that she was married to such a wealthy, powerful man, but on the other, it annoyed her that his work always took precedence over her and their relationship. "Mhm, he and daddy have a lot of paperwork to deal with in preparation for the upcoming break", Bobby gave his standard answer and didn't really expect her to take the conversation any further, so it surprised him when she did, "I see. Don't you also work at Ewing Oil?" it wasn't really what she said that surprised him as much as it was the way she said it, as if she were accusing him of not pulling his weight. "Yes Sue Ellen, I do. However, my job is primarily about working with potential business partners, not working in the office dealing with paperwork, at least not in the way daddy and JR do", he answered sharply and politely, but deep down, he was annoyed at her accusations, she was the last person he had to impress with his work. "I understand", Sue Ellen nodded and took a sip of her club soda, Bobby's words had reaffirmed what JR had always said about his brother, he wasn't on the same level as JR was, he never did the overtime or extra hard work that the oil business required, he just drifted by, doing what he was asked, but nothing more.

Her dismissive attitude made him more upset than he liked to admit, because for a woman who did nothing worthwhile all day, she sure did judge as if she were in a higher position than he was, "I'd keep out of it if I were you. I don't think JR would appreciate your concern about my job status, he has me exactly where he wants me right now, and the only reason I stay there is because I happen to like my job the way it is. However, if at any moment I decide that I want a more office-based role, I know that daddy would have no problem with me joining the day-to-day operations, and I think we both know how JR would react to that change", he gave her a menacing look as he finished speaking and she knew it was time to stop talking. Bobby was right and she knew it; even if JR believed his brother wasn't worthy of working at Ewing Oil, he didn't actually wish for him to try to be more involved. Sitting across the room, Miss Ellie listened to Lucy while she observed Sue Ellen and Bobby as they appeared to be involved in a tense discussion, and she sighed with relief as Teresa appeared in the doorway and interrupted their conversation, "Mrs Ewing, dinner is ready". As everyone moved into the dining room for dinner, Sue Ellen mulled over Bobby's words again and frowned to herself; it wasn't a fair situation at all, Bobby worked less than he was capable of and JR worked more than he probably should have had to, but neither wanted to change the way the system operated. In a way, she was more upset for herself than anyone else, because with JR working so much, their relationship was what suffered the most and she couldn't do anything about it, and even if she could, JR wouldn't want her to.

To be continued…


	199. Thoughts and Decisions

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR, I want you to work through lunch today and I want you to work as fast as you can, because at five o'clock, we're out of here", Jock walked into JR's office, gave him his instructions and then left. The faster he and JR got their work completed, the faster they could leave, and after the hectic week they'd just had, he was definitely ready to go home. Jock was lucky enough to have a wife that understood and supported his work ethic without complaint or resentment, but that didn't mean that he didn't have empathy for her situation. Keeping the family together and connected was just as important to him as it was to his wife and he made every effort to participate in as many family activities as possible, and to be home for special family dinner on Christmas Eve was something that was important to him. The work they were doing at the office now was important, but not necessarily time-sensitive, if they didn't get it all finished today, the only consequence would be that they would have a little more paperwork waiting for them when they reopened after the holiday break. Working through their breaks and recruiting the secretaries to lend a hand with the more basic administration work would hopefully get them to a good point by the end of the day, but if five o'clock came and they weren't finished, he would not hesitate to lock up and go home anyway, being with family was more important today. JR nodded at his father's instructions and went back to focusing on the paperwork in front of him; truthfully, he was just as ready to be done and have a little break from working as his father was and the sooner he got it done, the sooner he could relax, at least for a little while.

JR always enjoyed the holiday break, it was really the only time he got to take time for himself and his wife, away from the stress of the oil business, however, it was a double-edged sword, because with the nine day break from the oil business came an even stricter expectation for how he was supposed to fill his time. For the next few days at least, he would be spending a lot of time with his family and his in-laws and although the pressure was off he and Sue Ellen to provide answers about when they would be having a child, he still didn't particularly feel like making conversation with everyone about the future. He liked his family for the most part, and he tolerated Sue Ellen's family, but there was only so much time he could spend with them together before the smallest things began to grate him and he became irritable and not so charming. In the past, he'd always had Ewing Oil and his little black book to keep him sane and allow him a place to escape, but now, more than ever, he had to be careful about his actions and how he was perceived, especially by his father and his wife. His father was watching his every move and evaluating him to make sure that when the time came, he would be a good successor for the president of Ewing Oil, because with Sue Ellen's pregnancy and the future of the Ewing family secure, Jock felt as if he were finally able to really consider retiring in the next few years. Then there was Sue Ellen, she'd been clingier and needier than ever this week and he feared the consequences of her finding out about the things he tried so hard to hide; he'd made the mistake of not being careful enough about covering his actions last weekend and for that, he was annoyed with himself.

He'd entered into marriage without really understanding the full extent of what it involved, but he'd managed to adapt his former lifestyle to allow him to continue to do what he wanted as well as keep his parents and wife happy, however, last weekend, his self-control had slipped and he'd made the mistake of allowing Sue Ellen to get suspicious. She was usually quiet, unquestioning and accepting of his responsibilities, supporting him in his pursuit of the presidency of Ewing Oil and he didn't quite know what had triggered the change in her, but she'd been less accepting and more questioning about his actions lately and he knew it had to be because of something he'd done. Things had been relatively good between them since she'd told him the news of her pregnancy and he'd thought that it was the beginning of a new Sue Ellen, one that had purpose, focus and meaning in her life that wasn't directly related to him and his problems, and that thought had pleased him. However, with whatever it was that was making her act differently, she had changed again, back into the insecure, needy, emotional girl that she had been in the early weeks of her pregnancy and at other points in their marriage and it had come at an entirely inopportune time, he needed her to be supportive, not inquisitive right now. What annoyed him the most about her rediscovered clinginess and sudden interest in his activities was that aside from his unmemorable indiscretion on Saturday night, he hadn't actually been doing that wasn't work related this week, so whatever suspicions she did have were completely unfounded at the moment. When he said he had to work late this week and didn't have a lot of time for them as a couple, he meant exactly that, and feeling like he was being interrogated when he wasn't actually guilty of doing anything wrong was the last thing he needed right now.

Things were finally going well in his life and his wife having another emotional breakdown just wasn't something that factored well into their life plan, especially now that she was carrying their child, the future Ewing heir. No, he needed to regain control over his actions and her thoughts, because he couldn't have her risking their child's or her own health and he couldn't have his father questioning him about their relationship and blaming him for her unhappiness again. His father didn't particularly care about how he and Sue Ellen made their relationship work, just that they did and she was pregnant and about to provide the grandson he'd been wanting for years now. However, with her pregnancy came the idea that she was really a Ewing now and somehow Jock felt as if he had some kind of a claim on her, an idea that irked JR. He disliked that his father would question him to make sure that he was taking care of her properly and make him feel guilty when it appeared that Sue Ellen wasn't entirely happy, as if he were responsible for every little mood swing she had. It seemed inauthentic to JR though, because he knew his father was really just concerned about the child Sue Ellen was carrying, not her personal wellbeing, so his 'helpful' suggestions just weren't something he wanted to hear. Thinking about it as he read over his paperwork, he made a decision; even though he hadn't done anything wrong this week and his wife's questions and actions had been unfounded, he decided that instead of being extra careful about his actions from now on and he needed to cease doing those things, at least for a little while. It would be much easier to regain her trust if he was actually being truthful with her, and honestly, spending time with his wife wasn't a negative thing for him at all, so it didn't seem like such a bad idea, especially since it was the holidays now. The fact of the matter was, he did love his wife and he did enjoy her company, he just happened to also enjoy the company of other women and selfishly indulged in that activity, mostly just because he could. He didn't want to permanently change the way he lived his life, but temporarily, he was capable of being a one-woman man.

To be continued…


	200. Bastard

**Dallas, Texas**

"…although it doesn't seem like it, you're actually very lucky that you showed symptoms. Seventy percent of infected women show no symptoms and left untreated, the consequences can be a lot worse than what you're experiencing right now, especially in pregnancy", Doctor Krane handed Sue Ellen a box of tissues as she spoke and waited for Sue Ellen's crying to subside before she continued her explanation. She empathised greatly with her patient and knew she probably didn't want to hear the supposed positive side of her condition, because really, from Sue Ellen's point of view, there was nothing positive about the whole situation, but medical ethics meant that she had a responsibility to inform her of the necessary details. "With a short dose of antibiotics, the infection should be cured within a week and the chances of you or baby being negatively affected greatly decrease because of the early action. I know it's probably the last thing you want to do, but you need to speak to Mr Ewing and make sure that he and anyone else who you or he have been sexually involved with get treated, even if they have no signs or symptoms. Otherwise, the infection can be passed back and forth between sexual partners. I also strongly advise practicing abstinence that during the next two weeks and after that, unless you're one hundred percent sure that your relationship is sexually monogamous, I advise you use protection". Sue Ellen sat quietly and listened as Doctor Krane, her obstetrician, laid out all the facts for her and she felt physically sick as she got confirmation that her suspicions and worst fears were not just figments of her imagination. No, not only had JR had cheated on her, but he'd managed to involve her in his dirty little secret too, and if she hadn't been in the thirty percent of women who did show symptoms, his actions could have seriously endangered both her health and the baby's health.

She was angry, upset and humiliated and although she'd been crying just moments ago, she suddenly felt different, no longer did she want to express her feelings through tears, no, now she felt a strong urge to throw something across the room, or more specifically, throw something straight at her lying, cheating, disgusting husband. "I understand, thank you doctor, I'll be sure to tell him that and you don't have to worry about me, I don't plan on making myself sexually available to anyone, including my husband, for the foreseeable future; I don't need anyone but my baby… Is that all for today?" she nodded and then coldly and abruptly ended their conversation; her emotional wall had gone up and she didn't feel like discussing it any further. Doctor Krane checked her notes as Sue Ellen ended their conversation, and although she would have liked to discuss the emotional effects Sue Ellen was feeling, it didn't seem as if Sue Ellen would be willing to participate in that right now, so it could wait until their next appointment, "yes, I believe so. Unless there's anything else you'd like to ask me?" Sue Ellen shook her head as the doctor asked her, speaking in a tone as if she were hinting and waiting for her to start crying again, though she wasn't in the mind-set for that now, she hated her husband too much to cry over him. "Ok then, I'll see you again in two weeks for your twenty-week check-up", she handed Sue Ellen a pamphlet and wrote her a prescription before shaking her hand and leaving the room to allow her to change back into her clothes.

"One one-way ticket to Austin please, preferably tonight", Sue Ellen looked at her watch as she waited for the travel agent to search for available flights; it was just after three in the afternoon and she figured that she had enough time to return to Southfork, pack a few things, confront JR about his cheating and then leave. She couldn't stay, she just couldn't. She hadn't quite figured out exactly how she was going to approach the subject with JR, but she knew she had to, she couldn't just bury her head in the sand and ignore her negative feelings like she usually did, because this was a bigger issue than just an argument between two married people. Any number of other women were involved and as much as she hated those women for sleeping with her husband, a married man, they deserved to know that they were possibly infected, even just for the good health of society. "There are two flights available, six o'clock or eight o'clock tonight", Sue Ellen thought about it for a moment and as much as she wanted to leave Dallas as soon as possible, six just seemed too soon, "eight o'clock will be fine. Thank you", she handed over her driver's licence for identification and paid for her ticket in cash before leaving the travel agency.

Miss Ellie stood in the newly painted and wallpapered nursery with a catalog in one hand and a tape measure in the other as she measured and imagined each potential piece of décor, thinking about where it would go, how it would fit in with the rest of the room and what purpose it served. Most of her thoughts led her toward one conclusion though, a lot of things that were marketed toward decorating a nursery and planning for a new baby had little purpose other than being visually appealing, not that she minded though, she couldn't wait to have another grandchild. She was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of a car door slamming outside and walking toward the window, she spotted Sue Ellen walking determinedly into the house; she didn't really know how she knew, but she knew, something was very wrong. "Sue Ellen?" she met her daughter-in-law at the bottom of the stairs and although Sue Ellen appeared to be acting more calm and collected than she had just a moment ago, it didn't escape her notice that her eyes were shifting between focusing on their conversation and focusing on the grandfather clock in the foyer. "I'm sorry Miss Ellie, I'm fine; the traffic was terrible and I suppose that made me a little irritable, but I'm home now and I think I'm going to go and have a little nap before dinner, I'm feeling a bit tired", she lied and gave a quick explanation for her mood before excusing herself from the conversation.

"Miss Sue Ellen?" Teresa knocked on the bedroom door and waited for Sue Ellen to answer, though part of her wished that the younger Mrs Ewing wouldn't answer, she didn't like being the bearer of bad news and that's exactly what she was right now. Sue Ellen sighed and stopped her packing for a moment as she heard Teresa outside the door, she didn't exactly want company right now and with the phone having rung about half an hour earlier, while she was 'napping', she was fairly sure what the message was. "I'm sorry to disturb you Mrs Ewing; Mr Ewing's secretary called earlier and she said that his meetings were running late and he'd asked her to call you to tell you that he was sorry, but he wouldn't be home for dinner tonight", she spoke quickly and apologetically and waited for Sue Ellen to dismiss her. Sue Ellen sighed sadly, an automatic response to the news that her husband would be working late again, but she soon came to her senses as she realised that she didn't have to feel sad, she was angry at him, "thank you Teresa", she nodded and closed the door. Walking over to her small suitcase, she finished packing her things, enough for at least a week because she didn't really know what her plan was, all she knew was that she needed some time to think and collect her thoughts and she couldn't be around JR right now.

As she methodically packed her suitcase, she reflected on the situation, things never just stayed consistently good for them, they were on a constant rollercoaster ride of ups and downs, and right now, they were headed straight down. The week before Christmas had been like a nightmare, but the holiday break had been like a dream come true; she'd had a loving and attentive husband and she'd really believed that things were on the up for them again, but then he'd gone back to work and they'd returned to reality. Everything had really come crashing down today though, because instead of her doctor telling her tests had shown that the uncomfortable sensations she'd been experiencing were due to the UTI she assumed she had, the tests had instead brought much worse news. A few minutes later, she pulled a monogrammed notepad and pen out of JR's nightstand drawer, wrote him a quick note containing number of unpleasant words, and then stapled it onto the pamphlet Doctor Krane had given her, leaving him with no question as to why she was leaving, or by the time he read it, why she had left. Walking downstairs, she instructed Raoul to put her bags in her car before she returned upstairs to get ready for cocktails and dinner. As she changed and reapplied her makeup, she planned exactly how she was going to explain her sudden departure to her in-laws without arousing suspicion just yet. Selfishly, she gained a little bit of joy as she imagined JR in a few days' time when he inevitably had to explain to Jock that his wife's trip wasn't as temporary as she'd made it out to be and she wasn't planning on returning, at least not right away, and that her motivation was all because of his actions. She normally thought that Jock was too hard on his eldest son, but today she found herself not caring one bit whether JR was sad or not, he deserved every bit of punishment that he got.

To be continued…


	201. Miss Shepard

**Austin, Texas**

"…and how long would you like to stay, Mrs…?" the hotel receptionist made a judgement about her marital status based on the large diamond on her left hand, though Sue Ellen was quick to correct her, "Miss Shepard. I'm not entirely sure yet, though it'll be at least a week". She opened her purse and pulled out her wallet, handing the receptionist her old UT Austin student identification card; it was the only form of ID that she still possessed with her maiden name on it and she was glad that she'd sentimentally kept it, because right now, she didn't want to be known as Mrs JR Ewing. The receptionist looked at the card and then at the young, pregnant woman's left hand again before handing the card back to her, not questioning her any further because it seemed fairly obvious to her what was going on; the young woman wasn't here for pleasure as she had stated earlier, she was running away from something, or someone. Entering the information into the hotel's check-in register, she handed Sue Ellen a key and called the bellhop over to take her suitcase upstairs. Giving her a pleading look, Sue Ellen slyly handed the receptionist a hundred dollar 'tip' and the middle-aged woman nodded, she didn't need it to be explained, as far as anyone else was concerned, there was no guest by the name or resembling the description of Sue Ellen Shepard/Ewing staying at that hotel.

**Dallas, Texas**

JR paced back and forth in his bedroom as he reread the scathing note his wife had written and he felt ill every time he thought about the pamphlet she'd so kindly left him, the one that gave a fairly graphic description of everything that could go wrong. He let out a frustrated sigh as he thought about the situation, he was angry, but not at himself, he was angry at his wife; there was no way that this was his fault, there just wasn't, because despite what she believed, he wasn't that stupid or irresponsible. He didn't like having to consciously remember to do it, but he always used protection when he was with any woman other than his wife. He knew that a man of his wealth and status couldn't afford to be doing what he was doing without taking some steps toward ensuring his own personal safety, protecting his assets and making sure that the Ewing name stayed favourable. No, if she had a STD, then it was because she had been whoring around, not him. However, in the back of his mind, he knew that that wasn't true, she was so sweet, innocent and completely in love with him, so much that most of the time, she didn't even really notice the interest other men took in her; deep down, he knew that there was no way she had strayed outside their marriage vows.

As he mentally ran through his recent encounters, as the pamphlet had said to do, it suddenly hit him, "DAMN!" There was a possibility that his unmemorable drunken tryst a few weeks ago had had much more of an effect on him than he'd originally assumed and he felt both stupid and angry about the lack of control he had over the situation, he didn't even know who the woman was. Frustrated and angry, he walked downstairs and grabbed a bottle of bourbon and a glass from the drinks cart in the living room, taking them with him and walking back up to his bedroom to think. In light of the current state of affairs, he decided that it probably wasn't a very smart idea to go out to a bar to drown his sorrows, because knowing him, he would be tempted to leave with a woman, and that seemed like a stupid thing to do right now. Sue Ellen's note made it clear that she did not intend to return to Dallas in the near future and she was angry, disgusted and disappointed in him, but JR wasn't too worried about the situation right now. Not only was she financially dependent on him, she was also emotionally dependent on him and running home to her mother wasn't going to offer her the comfort, coddling or financial stability that living at Southfork with her husband did. No, in JR's mind, his wife wasn't thinking straight right now and she just needed a few days to calm down and reflect, and having heard from his parents that she was in Austin visiting her mother, he was sure that she would be back at Southfork and in his bed in no time. A few days with Patricia Shepard was enough to make anyone reconsider their life-choices and if he knew Sue Ellen, she'd be regretting her hasty decision soon enough.

**Austin, Texas**

Four days later, Sue Ellen sat alone on a park bench in Zilker Park as she reflected on the past few days; she'd come to Austin in an attempt to escape the pain that was present in Dallas, but she wasn't really sure that she'd been even somewhat successful. Dallas was the Ewing's home, but Austin was where she'd called home for the majority of her life, she'd grown up in Austin and she was comfortable there, though not comfortable enough to make contact with her family, that was something that had to wait, she couldn't deal with her mother just yet. However, even with it being a familiar place, surrounded by landmarks and memories that should have been comforting to her, deep down, she knew that Austin wasn't her home anymore; it was part of her past and it was here in the present, but it wasn't where she saw her future self. She'd done everything that she thought would make her feel better, visiting all of her favourite places, doing a little shopping and spending a lot of time alone with her thoughts, but none of her attempts to improve her mood or feelings about the situation had been much help. She was angry, upset and disgusted but most of all, she hated herself for still having some positive feelings toward her husband, because as much as she hated him and wanted nothing more than for him to painfully suffer the consequences of his actions, she also felt some love for him and it felt wrong to admit that she did. She'd removed her wedding and engagement rings on her first night in Austin, but after just half a day of not wearing them, she felt guilty and empty, as if she were wronging the vows she'd committed to on her wedding day, especially 'for better, for worse… in sickness and in health'. By the time she finished eating dinner on her second day in Austin, she felt guilty and dirty for allowing men to flirt with her as if she were an available woman, which despite being furious with her husband, she was not. On Sunday morning, she'd slipped the simple silver wedding band back on her finger, though she'd left her flashy engagement ring locked in the safe in her hotel room; she only wanted a visual sign to indicate that she was married, not one that told everyone that she was a trophy wife.

Sighing to herself, she felt empty as she stared out at the large grassy field area where some college students were playing a friendly game of football. She didn't really know what she was doing with her life, because it seemed obvious to her that Austin wasn't her home anymore, but she was nowhere near ready to even think about going back to JR. As she felt a few soft movements in her tummy, she began to cry, her baby was giving her a physical reminder that she not only had to figure out her own life, but the life they would live together, with or without JR. If she'd learned anything from Lucy's presence at Southfork though, she was sure that if she did decide that she wasn't willing to forgive JR and wanted out of their marriage, he wouldn't make it easy for her to leave, at least not with their child. The baby she was carrying was the future Ewing heir and to JR and his daddy, that was more important than anything else, even infidelity, lying and common decency. Everything was a huge mess and she really had no idea where she was going to from here.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: I love reading the comments left in response to each chapter and the reviews for the last chapter were fantastically spirited (and yes, I totally agree with all of your thoughts). Honkytonkangel and MarciaLynn, I love that you've nicknamed Patricia the Wicked Witch of Austin, because she really is awful; JR SE Fan, you're always there to make the funny comments that just say it like it is, and Alexia and Sanda, you're the sweetest :) T****o everyone else who has been reading and reviewing, thank you :)**


	202. Considerations

**Dallas, Texas**

"Good afternoon, Shepard residence, Kristin speaking", JR listened and was a little disappointed when Sue Ellen's younger sister picked up the phone instead of his wife, it was Thursday afternoon and Sue Ellen had been gone for almost a week, and he thought that that was surely enough time to calm down. He thought it was time to establish some form of contact with her and a phone call seemed the most appropriate first step, though just showing up on her mother's doorstep would have possibly been more effective; however, he didn't feel like dealing with Patricia and his wife all in one go, so he chose to just call her instead. "Kristin", he adjusted his voice to reflect a charming and charismatic tone before he continued to speak, "how are you? How's school?" he made polite conversation with her, though he was actually vaguely interested in her schooling because for some insane reason, he was still footing the bill for the private school she attended, despite Patricia's side of the original negotiation falling flat years ago. Giving him a short, polite answer, Kristin's mind began to wander, because as much as she liked JR Ewing, he'd never been particularly interested in her life, and from the overly jovial tone in his voice, she knew that there was some hidden meaning behind his phone call. "Good, good. Now, is your sister there by any chance? I'd like to speak to her", he paused and waited for Kristin to answer and he was surprised when she sounded more confused than anything else at his question and he genuinely believed her when she said that she hadn't seen Sue Ellen since their visit to Southfork over the holidays. Covering his tracks by acting as if he'd forgotten that she was actually visiting a few college friends this week, he said goodbye to Kristin and hoped that she didn't get suspicious. If Patricia found out that her daughter had left her husband's house and wasn't planning on coming home to her mother's house in the meantime, she would throw a fit and JR would be the one she blamed for everything, and JR really didn't want to deal with Patricia as well as his wife. Patricia Shepard had very conservative ideas of acceptable behaviour for a lady, and being out, alone in the world was not one of them; no, JR wanted to avoid involving Patricia for as long as possible. Leaning back in his chair, he considered the situation; if she wasn't staying with her family in Austin, then where was she staying? He'd willingly allowed her a few days alone to cool off without his interference, but that was when he'd believed she was under the rule of Patricia Shepard and he'd assumed that she would return home with her tail between her legs soon enough. Now he was worried though, because things were a lot different than he'd originally assumed and he didn't like the direction his thoughts were taking. Picking up the phone, he dialled a familiar number; if she wasn't going to play fair, then neither was he.

**Austin, Texas**

Staring absentmindedly out the window of a coffee shop, Sue Ellen let out an audible sigh when she lifted the mug to her mouth and realised it was empty; focusing on drinking her coffee had been the only thing distracting her from the boredom and loneliness she felt, and now that it was finished, she felt empty and lost again. Despite the fact that Austin had been her home for over twenty years, the minute she'd graduated college, a large percentage of her social connections had disappeared, then when she stopped modelling, her social circle got even smaller, and now, two and a half years later, she had almost no friends or acquaintances. The only people she knew in Austin now were her mother, sister and their family 'friends', and none of those people were people she wished to make contact with. There was one thing and one thing only that made Dallas look appealing right now and that was that at least in Dallas she had had some social interaction, even if it was only with her mother-in-law and the DOA ladies. However, her present loneliness wasn't bad enough to push her into actually making any plans to go back there, because despite the fact that she did miss having someone to talk to, her entire life in Dallas was connected to JR Ewing and going back there would mean seeing him, the exact opposite of what she wanted right now. She'd had a lot of time to think about everything that had happened and she was now entirely convinced that JR's cheating was not a one-off incident, there was just too much evidence pointing in the direction of him being a serial cheater for her to believe that he'd only strayed once. She'd been too naïve and trusting when she believed his insistence that he had to work late nights at the office, even when Jock and Bobby were at home, and the more she thought about it, the more she was convinced that he hadn't been anywhere near as lonely as she had been every time he went out-of-town on business. She felt foolish and humiliated as she analysed the way their marriage had played out, because with the knowledge that he'd cheated on her when they were dating, realistically, it was silly and naïve to think that he'd changed when he'd married her. It pained her to think about all the times where she had driven herself into an emotionally fragile state in pursuit of making their lives perfect, because now, those efforts seemed like a total waste and she felt like an idiot for worrying so much about them when it was apparent that he couldn't care less. Sighing to herself, she stood and walked out of the coffee shop, though as the door closed behind her, the emptiness and loneliness consumed her again and she felt hopeless as she realised that not only did she have no direction for her afternoon, she had no direction for her life in general.

**Dallas, Texas**

"She withdrew how much!?" JR was speechless as the man on the other end of the line detailed the four large cash withdrawals from their joint bank account. In the grand scheme of things, the withdrawals were pennies to JR Ewing, and in their everyday life, he didn't really have a problem with his wife spending money, because it gave him great satisfaction to know he could well afford her expensive tastes. What rendered him speechless though was hearing someone else repeat the number back to him over the phone, because he didn't usually pay much attention to her spending habits and just hearing the sheer amount of money she could burn through in less than a week was a bit of a shock to him. However, as he wrote down a few numbers, the total sum of her withdrawals made a little more sense. He didn't know where she was staying, but he knew it wasn't with her mother and with the amount she'd withdrawn, it was safe to say that she wasn't living in poverty. She had more than enough to cover her general living expenses and participate in her favourite hobby: shopping, and if she were doing that, then she was living a more normal life than he'd expected, and that gave him hope. In the past, she'd ignored her problems and buried them so often that when they did finally come to the surface, she was usually an emotional mess, one that needed to be calmed down by intervention of either her husband, her mother-in-law or by a doctor. So if she was successfully surviving in Austin alone, without any support and without having had a breakdown, then truthfully, she was dealing with things better than he had expected. It was a thought that annoyed him somewhat because of course he wanted his wife and child to be happy and healthy, but he hated the idea that they could be that without him; he liked being the one she relied on, even if it was only for the power trip. Walking over to the bar in his office, he sighed to himself as he poured a drink and considered the situation; after some deliberation, he decided that the smartest thing to do would be to wait until his private investigator got back to him with a full report of Sue Ellen's activities before he decided his next move. A lot was riding on the contents of that report and his actions following it, because she'd been gone almost a week and by the time Sunday afternoon arrived, his cover-excuse with his parents would be expired and they would certainly start to get suspicious. They had an image to portray to his family and to the world and separating or divorcing for any reason, but especially at this point in time, just before the birth of their child, was not an option; no, she would be back at Southfork soon, whether she liked it or not.

To be continued…


	203. Austin

**Dallas, Texas**

"…she's been paying for everything in cash and using her maiden name, she even paid the hotel staff to deny that she was staying there. It's as if she knew you'd be investigating, but she didn't go as far as to actually disappear. I have an exact schedule of everything she's been doing and most of her activity has been in public areas, so she's not too worried about being seen, it appears that she just doesn't want to be contacted". JR listened and read over the file as his private investigator relayed everything Sue Ellen had been doing; the man was right, she hadn't been doing anything extraordinary or secretive, mostly just shopping and wandering around Austin aimlessly. JR recognized that some of the places she'd visited in the beginning as places that had special personal significance to her, but now, as the week had passed and she'd had more time to think, he was sure that she was completely lost. He couldn't think of any reason other than boredom for why she would want to spend her time in some of the locations she'd been spotted; if she was bored, then she was lonely, and if she was lonely, then she was vulnerable; now was the perfect time for him to go find her and bring her home. "Thank you, this is very useful information. I want your men to keep following her and keep me updated. I'll be flying down to Austin tomorrow and hopefully bringing my wife back with me. However, if she puts up some kind of fight, then I'm prepared to deal with that too, so I want you to be prepared to stay on her trail for a little while longer if need be". JR had contemplated dragging her back to Southfork kicking and screaming if he had to, but he'd decided against that as soon as he began to think of the disastrous consequences that could have. Combining the anger she would feel toward him if he physically forced her back to Dallas with the anger she was already harbouring, she may not hesitate to let everyone know exactly why she'd left, and he couldn't have that; he needed to take a gentler approach with her than he normally would, whether he actually wanted to or not.

"Delivery for Mrs Ewing", Teresa signed for the furniture delivery and showed the men upstairs to the bedroom that had been painted and wallpapered in preparation for the arrival of the new Ewing baby in just a few months and as the men carried the items upstairs, she began to consider the situation as it was. With the way Mr JR had been acting this week, Miss Sue Ellen's hurried departure last week, and the unusual lack of contact Miss Sue Ellen had had with her husband this week, she was beginning to suspect that it was not entirely guaranteed that the new Ewing heir would actually be sleeping in the nursery. Showing the deliverymen out, she went back to preparing dinner and a few hours later, when Miss Ellie arrived back at Southfork, she informed her of the arrival, much to Miss Ellie's delight, "that's wonderful news, perfect timing too, Sue Ellen's coming home on Sunday". Teresa smiled and nodded, not letting her employer see any of her thoughts and hoping that those thoughts were wrong and Miss Sue Ellen was coming home.

**Austin, Texas**

"Hello darlin'", Sue Ellen jumped as she heard a familiar voice behind her and turning around, she chided herself for still finding him attractive despite all of the terrible things he'd done to her and the anger she felt toward him, "what are you doing here? Didn't my note make my feelings perfectly clear?" she glared at him and looked around the hotel lobby for an exit, though she found none that appeared to be suitable for getting away from the situation. JR noticed the flash of attraction that crossed her face for a split-second before she glared at him and he grinned to himself; although she was angry at him, all hope was not lost, and with the right sweet-talking, he'd have her back in Dallas before anyone noticed that she'd attempted to leave. "I've never been good at staying away from the things I want", he looked her in the eye as he spoke and grinned at her as he made a decision about how to handle the situation; he had a new approach, instead of being apologetic or aggressive, he'd just flirt with her until she inevitably fell under his spell again. "Yeah, that's the problem. Even in marriage, you pursue the things you want and you don't care who gets hurt in the process. As long as JR Ewing is satisfied, to hell with everyone else", she glared at him angrily, though as she spoke, her deeper emotions came to the surface and she felt like crying, however, she tried her hardest to ignore that side of her emotions, she couldn't show him that she was vulnerable. "Now darlin', that's not fair; I've always taken care of your needs and I never meant to hurt you. I'll admit, what happened last week was a mistake and I take full responsibility for that, but…" Sue Ellen glared at him and put her hand up, silencing him as he began to try to justify his actions, "do not call me darlin' and do not try to justify your actions and make me look like the one who's being irrational. This is your fault and no matter how you try to talk your way out of it, the fact is, none of this would have happened if it hadn't been for your selfish and disgusting actions. I've done nothing but love you and serve you as the best wife I could be. How could you do that to me? Does our marriage mean that little to you?" she paused and turned away from him, walking toward the elevator, "I hate you JR and I don't want to talk to you right now, so please, just leave me alone".

JR was speechless at the way she had spoken to him, he'd never known her to be so disrespectful and the thought of any woman disrespecting him made him angry. "Now wait a damn minute! We're not done here!" he followed her and grabbed her arm, completely ignoring the fact that they were still in the hotel lobby, an open space where everyone could see them; "LET GO OF ME", she turned and spoke in a serious tone, though she did not shout, she didn't want to make a scene. JR slowly let go of her arm as he came to his senses and realised that they'd gathered a small audience; the hotel lobby was not where he'd envisioned their meeting taking place, but he'd been so wrapped up in the moment that he didn't even think of suggesting they relocate to somewhere more private. Considering his options, he realised that she had the upper hand in the current situation and there wasn't much he could do without causing a scene. Although he was her husband and it was socially accepted that he had authority over her, she'd been staying at this hotel for over a week now and the staff knew her and sympathised with her; in their eyes, he was an outsider and he was causing trouble. "This conversation is not over, however, I'll let you have what you want, for now anyway. I'll see you around… darlin'", he grinned at her and called her darlin' just to irritate her before turning and walking out of the hotel. He hadn't been lying, their conversation was not over and his original plan to bring her back to Dallas with him still stood, however, he decided that one small change to his approach was necessary. She was being more stubborn and standoffish than he had expected, but he suspected that would all change once she realised that she wasn't in a position to call the shots; taking a left and then a right, he walked out onto Congress Ave, straight toward the nearest bank.

To be continued…


	204. Despair

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR?" Miss Ellie took advantage of the small break in the breakfast conversation, "what time is Sue Ellen's flight landing?" she asked the question innocently and casually but she noticed that JR appeared tense at the mention of his wife's name, though she didn't really know why. "Oh mama, I'm sorry, I must've forgotten to tell you. I spoke to Sue Ellen last night and she's decided to stay in Austin for a few more days. She'll be back sometime in the middle of the week", he wasn't exactly lying, but he hoped that his mother didn't start questioning him, he was doing the best he could to get her back at Southfork and he couldn't deal with any more Sue Ellen related questions right now. "Oh, ok", she didn't entirely believe when JR said that Sue Ellen had chosen to stay in Austin, there was something else going on, but she didn't question it, not with the way JR had been acting lately, she wanted to enjoy her Sunday, not have to deal with JR's sour mood. Finishing breakfast, the family split and went their separate ways for the morning, Bobby, Lucy and Jock walking down to the stables, JR into the downstairs office to read his newspaper and Miss Ellie upstairs to finish hanging a few decorations on the walls in the nursery. Sue Ellen's schedule change was slightly inconvenient, she'd hoped to have the nursery almost entirely furnished and decorated this week so that she and Sue Ellen could move onto buying the rest of the necessary items, however, a few days delay didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, it was really just a tentative plan. The baby wasn't due until the end of May, so they still had over four months to finish preparing for the new little Ewing; Sue Ellen's week and a half trip to Austin wasn't really a big deal to work around, it wasn't as if either of them were employed, they could shop anytime they wanted to.

**Austin, Texas**

Closing the hotel room door behind her, Sue Ellen allowed her pent-up tears to finally flow. Monday had been her worst day in Austin since she'd arrived a little over a week ago; she felt helpless, angry, stupid and her self-confidence was rapidly dropping. The first blow of the day had come when she was told by the cashier at the bank that all of her credit and charge cards had been temporarily frozen and the primary account holder, Mr John Ross Ewing Jr, had limited her cash withdrawal allowance to a meagre $1000, barely enough to cover her expenses for the next week. It had come as a complete shock to her, though as she thought about it, she felt stupid for not considering the possibility before, it was a very JR Ewing thing to do. She was entirely financially dependent on him and he knew it and he wasn't stupid, he wanted her back at Southfork and if she wasn't going to come willingly, then he was smart enough to know he could eventually force her back out of necessity. She hadn't intended on leaving the bank with so much cash, only enough to last her for a few days, but in a moment of panic and fear that JR would change his mind and cut her allowance to an even smaller sum, she'd withdrawn the entire amount. Feeling like a walking target, she'd made her way back to her hotel and carefully locked the majority of the cash in the in-room safe; she'd then left the hotel and taken a leisurely walk through a nearby park, hoping to clear her head and decide her next move. The thought of forgetting JR's indiscretions and just moving back to Southfork without any consequences sickened her, she'd ignored so much already and it had led her straight into a dependent, unhappy life, so to put herself back in that situation again was wholly unappealing. As she thought about it, she realised that although she hated him at this moment, she still loved him and if he had come to her with a real apology, acknowledgement of his wrongdoings and a promise that he'd change his behaviour, she may have considered giving him a second chance. However, he hadn't done that; he'd approached her with an attitude and a plan, as if he'd already decided how their conversation would go. It had been clear from the few words that she'd allowed him to speak that he thought she was upset for one reason and he was reluctantly prepared to take responsibility for that one incident, but anything else was fair game for his excuses, justifications and then anger and aggression. JR really did not see the bigger picture; she was furious with him for cheating on her with some trashy, diseased woman and involving her in his disgusting habits, but that was just the tip of the iceberg when it came to reasons why she hated him and couldn't stand to be around him right now.

Walking through the park and thinking about her options, she'd thought she'd had a brilliant idea; JR was banking on her running out of money and returning to him because she had to, but he didn't consider on the fact that she was in Austin, a place where she had an established work history and industry connections. Making her way through downtown Austin, she'd walked straight into her old modelling agency's office and made polite conversation with some of the staff and models there before requesting to see her former manager. However, the second blow of the day had come when the cold reality of the modelling industry had been laid out for her; at almost twenty-five years of age, with a significant gap in her work history and being almost five months pregnant, she wasn't exactly suitable for the casting the agency was doing. The worst part was that her former manager had pretty much squashed any thought she'd had of working for a different agency either. The updated headshots alone would cost her more than the amount she currently had access to and without an established history at a new agency, she would have to prove herself all over again and start from the bottom, something she didn't really have the time nor the money to do right now. Her modelling glory days were long gone and without modelling, pageants or her husband, she really was nothing and no one, a realisation that hit her hard. Politely thanking her former manager for his time, she'd made her way back to her hotel feeling deflated and disheartened and as she closed the door, she finally allowed herself to cry and feel sorry for herself and the situation she was in. In just a matter of weeks, her life had gone from the height of happiness to the overwhelming sadness and helplessness that she felt now and she saw no indication that the future looked any brighter.

**Author's Note: $1000 in 1972 is around $5700 in 2015 money. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	205. Motherly Concern

**Dallas, Texas**

"Jock?" Miss Ellie removed her simple jewellery as she prepared for bed, though she wasn't sure she would actually get any sleep tonight, her mind was racing with a million thoughts and none of them were good. "Mhm", Jock encouraged her to say what was on her mind, it seemed obvious that she was thinking about something, and if he wanted to get any sleep tonight, then it was better to let her say it now than stay awake worrying about it all night. "I'm worried about Sue Ellen…" she paused as she thought about the situation, it was Wednesday night and Sue Ellen still wasn't home from her trip to Austin, that in itself was unusual, but the fact that she hadn't even called to give an estimated timeframe of when she would be returning to Dallas was what worried her. "Sue Ellen? What the hell for?" her comment had Jock's attention as soon as she said it, he hadn't expected that to be what she was so worried about and he didn't understand why she would be worried either. "The girl is in Austin with her mother and you know that woman wouldn't let anything happen to her; she's fine, now, come to bed and stop worrying", he brushed off his wife's concern before he even allowed her to explain, as far as he was concerned, she was worried about nothing. "That's what I'm worried about; you cannot honestly tell me that you think Sue Ellen would willingly spend more time with her mother than was necessary can you? Sue Ellen is very polite and will do what is necessary for her public image, but to extend her visit to Austin just because she wants to, not because she has to, that seems suspicious", she paused as she tried to gather exactly how to explain what she was thinking, because Jock didn't seem convinced. "Then there's the way JR's been acting since she left for her little trip; they were so happy a few weeks ago, but now, he's been moody and more aggressive than usual and he seems so indifferent when I ask about when Sue Ellen's coming home, as if he doesn't want to talk about it and isn't excited. Something is off about the whole thing and I'm worried; you know Sue Ellen doesn't deal with stress and problems very well in her normal life, and now she's pregnant. I know from experience how difficult pregnancy can be, both emotionally and physically and I don't want her to have to deal with that all alone; even if she is at her mother's house, I still feel she would be better off here at Southfork. Look, I can't explain it completely, but I have a bad feeling about this whole thing and I know that I'd never forgive myself if something did happen and I'd just ignored the warning signs", she sighed and walked into the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face, leaving Jock to reflect on what she'd just said.

Sitting in bed, Jock thought about his wife's words, specifically the part that was related to JR. The truth was, he had noticed a change in JR's attitude over the past week or so, however, he had no complaints about his aggressiveness or moodiness because in an odd way, it was good for business. Each of his sons had a different temperament and was good at different things, and it just so happened that JR did his best work when he was angry, frustrated or feeling gypped. Jock knew that he treated his eldest son worse than he treated his youngest, but it worked well for Ewing Oil and Ewing Oil was a huge part of their lives, so he thought it important to maintain the status quo. He had Bobby for the work that required a charismatic, people-person kind of man, but for the serious negotiations and getting the job done properly and profitably, JR was the man for the job, and when he was focusing too much on outside things, his standard of work began to drop. He had noticed the change in JR's attitude and the standard of his work lately, but he was rather pleased about it and it hadn't occurred to him to consider Sue Ellen's position in the whole situation, so when his wife brought it up, he didn't really know what to think. Naturally, he was concerned about Sue Ellen's wellbeing, he wanted a healthy grandchild, preferably a grandson, and in an ideal world, a child would live with its parents, so Sue Ellen's mental and physical state was important too. However, he didn't really think it was his, his wife's or anyone else's responsibility to make sure that she was in a good place; Sue Ellen was a married adult woman, she had a personal responsibility and her husband had a marital responsibility to ensure her wellbeing. As far as Jock was concerned, it wasn't his business what she did with her time or his responsibility to seek answers and to remedy situations that were wrong, at least not until either JR or Sue Ellen proved themselves incompetent or irresponsible. If a situation did arise where JR appeared to be ignoring his responsibility as a husband to care for and ensure the safety of his wife and unborn child, then he would not hesitate to step in and do something, but from what he could tell, that wasn't the case right now and his wife was overthinking things.

Changing into her nightgown and getting into bed, Miss Ellie looked at her husband, he appeared to be thinking and she wondered exactly what he was thinking, because he hadn't said anything in response to her concerns. "Jock?" he snapped back into reality as she said his name, "hm", he contemplated how to respond, he'd been married for long enough to know that telling her she sounded paranoid wouldn't go down well, "I understand what you're saying, but I think we need to let those two kids sort out their own problems before interfering in them ourselves. Hell, we don't even know that there is a problem yet. That being said though, I know you're concerned and the Ewings are a family that looks after each other, so I don't see any harm in calling Sue Ellen, you have a valid reason and I'm sure she'd be happy to talk to you. For all we know, she's coming home tomorrow anyway and there's nothing to worry about. As for JR, I'll have a word with him and see if I can gather any information about whether they're having any problems. I don't intend to push it though, he's a grown man, he's capable of making his own decisions without his daddy telling him what to do", he mentally added a remark about Gary needing more guidance in the ways of adulthood than JR, but he knew better than to vocalise those thoughts. Miss Ellie smiled at her husband, it was about as close to a sensitive response as she was going to get and it pleased her that he hadn't disregarded her concerns out as if they were the ravings of a silly, paranoid wife, because as far as she was concerned, they weren't. "You're right, I could save myself a lot of worry if I just call her and ask her myself, so I think I'll do just that. I know she has a doctor's appointment next week and we are supposed to be interviewing baby nurses sometime soon too, so it isn't as if she's never coming back. I'd really just like to know a timeframe of when she intends on returning and I want reassurance that everything is ok. I know they're adults and they can run their own lives, but I worry, it's the mother in me", she felt better as she voiced her thoughts and made a plan and saying goodnight to her husband, she turned off the bedside lamp and lay down to go to sleep.

To be continued…


	206. Intervention

**Dallas, Texas**

"Good morning Mrs Ewing", Julie smiled at Jock's wife and the two exchanged pleasantries before Julie politely informed her that Jock had left the office to meet Jordan Lee and Punk Anderson at the Cattlemen's Club for lunch and wasn't expected back until later in the day. "That's ok; I've actually come to see JR. Is he free?" Julie looked over toward JR's secretary who picked up the phone and informed him that his mother was there to see him. "Mama, how nice to see you, please, come in", JR was surprised and slightly shocked to hear that his mother was there, she never came to visit him at the office, but he did his best to hide his surprise. Entering his office, they made small talk while he poured her a glass of water before Miss Ellie got to the crux of why she was there, completely shocking JR with her change in tone, it was so unexpected, "JR, I want to know what's going on between you and Sue Ellen and I want the truth. I know Sue Ellen isn't staying at her mother's house, I phoned Patricia this morning and had a most unpleasant conversation with her, apparently she didn't even know her daughter was in Austin, let alone supposedly staying with her. Something is going on and I want to know what", she looked at him seriously as she spoke and waited for his response. JR looked and listened to his mother, quickly making a decision to give her a shortened, sanitised version of the story. However, as their conversation continued, it became increasingly clear to her that he was lying and she needed to hear Sue Ellen's side of the story before she would get any real answers. What worried her more than getting answers though was the fact that Sue Ellen was pregnant, emotional and all alone; if she knew Sue Ellen as well as she thought she did, she was probably feeling pretty low right now, especially if she had spent most of her time wandering and thinking, not socialising or talking. She made up her mind, she needed to go and check that Sue Ellen was ok and hopefully bring her back home with her, because despite JR's insistence that his wife was fine and would be home soon, she felt that that was probably the furthest thing from the truth at the moment. Politely accepting JR's explanation so that he didn't suspect anything, she left his office and asked Julie to find out where Sue Ellen was staying and to inform her as soon as she knew; Jock would understand.

"JR, what the hell is going on?" Jock burst into his son's office in the early afternoon, last night's conversation with his wife was still fresh in his mind and as he'd thought about it, he had begun to get angrier and angrier; even if nothing was going on, it wasn't right for JR to be so ambiguous and indifferent with his mother about his wife's actions. "Going on where, sir?" JR jumped slightly as his father appeared in his doorway unannounced and angry and he was racking his brain to work out what the problem was, as far as he was concerned, everything was just fine in business, and his father had no idea of his personal issues. "At home. You and Sue Ellen. Why isn't she home yet? I went home to get a few papers and I hear the news from Teresa that your mother has flown to Austin to go and sort things out with your wife. That is not news I expected to hear, especially since you've been saying that Sue Ellen is just visiting her mother. So once again, I ask you, what the hell is going on?" JR panicked as his father mentioned that his mother had left Dallas in pursuit of Sue Ellen, he hadn't expected that at all; he'd known she was upset, but to fly all the way to Austin to see Sue Ellen seemed extreme, especially after he'd assured her that his wife would be home in a few days anyway. "Well sir, we've got a few problems, but I'm working on fixing them and things should be back to normal very soon if all goes to plan. I can almost guarantee that she'll be back home at Southfork within a day or two", he hoped that his father didn't question him about what their problems were, because Sue Ellen was right, almost everything wrong with their marriage could be traced back to him. "Almost guarantee? That's not good enough JR; I want that girl back on Southfork by tomorrow at the latest and I'd rather have her come back because you've made the effort to make things right, not because your mama did; she's your wife and first and foremost, she's your responsibility". He paused before speaking again, "if you were going to have problems, why didn't you do it before she was going to have a baby? You took long enough to get there", he knew his comment was a little harsh, it wasn't as if they'd planned on having problems, and it wasn't anyone's fault that it had taken a year and a half for Sue Ellen to get pregnant, but he was angry and when he was angry, he just said what he was feeling. JR had basically lied to him when he'd pretended that everything was fine and from the sound of Teresa's relayed message from his wife, things between JR and Sue Ellen were worse than JR was letting on. "Well, sir, I didn't exactly choose the time. Ever since she's been pregnant, she's been acting peculiar. She's turning into a very unreasonable young lady. I've been to see her though and we've come to an agreement, I have no doubt that she'll be home in just a few days and we'll sort out our problems in no time. Our baby deserves nothing but the best and I know that means a mother and a father, especially ones that are in a loving relationship", he made a few snide comments and played the victim before telling his father what he wanted to hear.

Jock listened and didn't entirely believe JR's act, Sue Ellen was an emotional pregnant woman yes, but JR had to have done something to set her off, especially if she'd fled Dallas, "you've got your mother worried sick. She's looking forward to having that grandchild at Southfork, and so am I, so if you know what's good for you, you'll do everything in your power to get that girl back, even if it means making a few compromises you don't want to make". JR nodded, he wasn't going to argue with his father when he was like this, "yes, sir. I know how much this baby means to you, both of you and I promise, I'm doing everything I possibly can to bring my wife and baby home", he made sure not to repeat his father's words about compromise, only the general idea of getting her back to Southfork. "Good; you know that I'm not going to stand for any more foolishness. Whatever it takes, you bring Sue Ellen home. We want her back at Southfork", Jock spoke in a low, even tone and JR knew exactly what he meant. "I'll do my best, sir", he nodded in agreement; he wasn't exactly afraid of his father, but he knew better than to cross him and he was glad that he already had a plan in motion to bring his wife and child back home to Southfork, and now, with his father's permission, he could take a harsher approach if necessary. "No, don't try your best to make it happen, just make it happen, by whatever means necessary", he gave JR one final warning comment before he turned and walked out of the office; his wife may not be successful in bringing the girl home, but he knew JR would be. As the door closed, JR picked up the phone and dialled the bank and he wasn't at all surprised to hear that she'd withdrawn the entire allowance that he'd set for her; she didn't trust him at all right now and she obviously felt safer knowing exactly how much money she had access to. He then phoned his private detective to get an update on her movements as well as have his mother's movements in relation to his wife monitored. He knew it wasn't much use to fly down to Austin now, his mother would beat him to Sue Ellen because of her head start anyway, however, he wasn't too concerned about their meeting, he didn't believe Sue Ellen would be too quick to open up and talk about their private business, especially not with his mother. As much as he disliked Patricia Shepard, he didn't entirely hate the sense of decorum she'd instilled in her daughters; Sue Ellen was always concerned about how other people saw her, so he highly doubted that she would start mouthing off about his indiscretions, even if she wanted to.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: The JR &amp; Jock dialogue was inspired by the conversation they had in the episode **_**For Love or Money**_**, so partial writing credit goes to Leonard Katzman. Thanks for reading :)**


	207. Avoidance and Denial

**Austin, Texas**

Sue Ellen was startled out of her deep sleep at the sound of a phone ringing; it was mid-afternoon, not an inappropriate time to call, but she was both physically and mentally exhausted and after returning to the hotel from her routine walk this morning, she had almost immediately fallen asleep. "Hello?" she groggily answered the phone, but she became more awake as the person on the other end of the line began to speak, "good afternoon Miss Shepard, this is Marie at the reception desk, I'm sorry if this is an inconvenient time", she paused and waited for Sue Ellen to give her some indication that she wasn't interrupting. "No, no, not an inconvenient time, please continue", she was still slightly dazed, but she was slowly waking up and becoming more aware of her surroundings and she'd been at the hotel long enough to know that the reception staff didn't call for no reason, so there was obviously something happening. "You have a visitor and I know you've requested that no one know you're staying here or contact you, but it is still hotel policy to inform our guests of any visitors", Sue Ellen listened and sighed, she may be almost out of money, but she still didn't want to deal with JR, "thank you. Please have security escort my husband from the building and inform him that I do not want to speak with him right now", she'd gotten used to asking the staff to do things for her, she was a paying guest and she figured that she might as well take full advantage of the privileges that came with that. "I'm sorry Miss Shepard, I should have been more specific, your guest is not your husband, she's a Mrs Eleanor Ewing, she says she's your mother-in-law", Sue Ellen's stomach dropped as she heard that it was Miss Ellie, not JR that was downstairs, that made things a whole lot more complicated. She didn't really want to see anyone, but it seemed awfully rude to ignore Miss Ellie, especially if she'd travelled all the way from Dallas to speak with her, "I'll be right down".

Unlocking the door to her hotel room again and holding it open for Miss Ellie to enter, Sue Ellen was glad that she was a somewhat tidy person and surprisingly, she found herself thankful that her mother had taught her to always keep her living area 'company ready'. She'd originally suggested that she and Miss Ellie have their conversation in the hotel's restaurant or lounge area, but Miss Ellie had insisted on something a little more private, almost as if she were expecting her to emotionally break down as soon as they started talking, something Sue Ellen had no intention of doing. "Shall I order us some tea?" Sue Ellen made polite conversation as they entered the room and walked toward the small sitting area by the window, "that would be nice", Miss Ellie smiled, though she wasn't entirely happy, things were almost worse than she'd expected. Sue Ellen was acting as if nothing was wrong and in her experience, when Sue Ellen acted like that it meant that she was heading for a huge emotional breakdown when her suppressed emotions eventually came to the surface. Motioning for Miss Ellie to sit down, Sue Ellen walked over to the phone to order their tea and as she did that, Miss Ellie occupied herself by looking at the items on the coffee table; the newspaper, magazines and hotel guide seemed fairly normal, however, a small notepad and pen caught her eye. Glancing over at Sue Ellen as she spoke on the phone, Miss Ellie nosily read the contents of the paper from afar and was taken aback at the words and numbers that were neatly written in columns, however, she didn't get to analyse it much because her attention was quickly drawn away from the paper as Sue Ellen returned. "They said it would be ten or fifteen minutes", Sue Ellen paused as she realised the total awkwardness of the situation they were in; it was obvious that things weren't completely normal, she was in a hotel after all, but she didn't want to mention it and she didn't particularly want to talk about it either. "It's lovely to see you Miss Ellie. How are you? How's everyone at Southfork?" she deflected the attention away from her situation and hoped that Miss Ellie took her hint. Miss Ellie smiled politely and gave her daughter-in-law a short rundown of what had been happening in her absence, she figured that it was best to get the small talk out of the way before they started a serious conversation.

Finding themselves in an awkward silence when the small talk ended, Sue Ellen breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of someone knocking on the door, "that'll be our tea", she stood and answered the door, showing the room service attendant where to place their tray before showing him out again. "Sue Ellen, please, talk to me", Miss Ellie finally broke the silence as she and Sue Ellen began to drink their tea, it seemed silly to avoid the obvious elephant in the room, "how are you, really?" she made eye contact with Sue Ellen in hopes of showing that she deeply cared for her and wasn't there to cause trouble. "I'm just fine Miss Ellie, honestly. I just needed a bit of a break, Dallas was exhausting and Austin was my home for many years; I'm sorry if I worried you by coming here, that wasn't my intention at all", she avoided making eye contact with Miss Ellie, she could lie to her, but she couldn't look at her while she told that lie. "I'm sorry you felt that way about Dallas", she paused, "I think there's more to it than that though, don't you?" she took Sue Ellen's hand, "I think you left Dallas because of whatever problems you and JR were having and it saddens me that you really believe leaving Dallas was the only real option you had. You could have come to me and I would have listened and given you whatever support you needed, you know that. Please Sue Ellen, JR may be my son, but you're my daughter-in-law and I love you and I want the best for you", she squeezed her hand as she spoke and hoped that something was getting through to Sue Ellen. "Miss Ellie, I told you, I was tired. Nothing more and nothing less; I'm sorry that I worried you, but really, that's all it was, I just needed a break", Sue Ellen felt defensive and when she was defensive, her automatic response was to deny that there was a problem, something Miss Ellie knew and expected. "Dear, I'm not blind. I know a little of your life with JR. I really think it would help if you talked it out", she offered her support again but from the look on Sue Ellen's face, she didn't appear to be too receptive to her suggestion. "There's nothing to talk about. JR and I are doing just fine. We're looking forward to having the baby and making you and Jock happy grandparents", Sue Ellen knew she was lying and didn't really believe most of what she was saying, but she felt compelled to pretend that everything was ok. If she showed her vulnerability, she knew she would end up spilling everything and it wasn't right for JR's mother to have to hear about what kind of husband and man her son really was.

"Sue Ellen, you have to live your life for yourself. You can't always be concerned about pleasing Jock and me, or even JR", Miss Ellie temporarily ignored Sue Ellen's obvious avoidance of admitting that there was a problem in her marriage, and instead decided to address Sue Ellen's other issue, her need to please everyone and always present a happy façade, even if it wasn't what she was actually feeling. "I lead a very full and satisfying life Miss Ellie, but you're right, occasionally I do need to focus on my own needs, and that's exactly what this trip was all about. JR and I are fine, I'm sure he's told you that", she smiled through the pain of pretending that everything was ok, because it wasn't, not at all. "Actually, quite the opposite as far as I can tell; JR has been angry, moody and aggressive since you left and when I asked him about your trip, he alluded to some bigger problems between the two of you than just you being tired and needing a break", she paused for a moment then changed the direction of their conversation. "When Jock and I were first married we had problems too..." she didn't expand on her story, but she did get Sue Ellen's attention; looking up at her mother-in-law, Sue Ellen shook her head, Miss Ellie and Jock may have had problems, but she had a funny feeling that their marriage was nowhere near as dysfunctional as her and JR's. Jock genuinely seemed to love his wife and even if he was a ruthless bastard in both his business and occasionally in his personal life, it never overlapped his relationship with his wife, something JR hadn't managed to master yet. "But you two are so happy now. How did you fix your problems?" she didn't ask Miss Ellie to elaborate on what their problems were, it seemed too personal and she didn't really want to set an expectation of sharing personal stories, however, she was interested in a general solution. Smiling, Miss Ellie made a wistful comment, "well, there were two things. The first involved a horsewhip, but that's not really what I was referring to with that example. The second… I had JR. Somehow children make it all seem more permanent and whatever problems you had before the baby seem insignificant and petty in comparison to being a parent", she gave a small smile as she spoke. The fact was, even if she and JR had a weak relationship now, she and Jock had loved and cherished him when he was a baby, their first baby, their only baby, and what she had told Sue Ellen was true, in her own experience, a baby really did fix more problems than it created. She did recognize that in Sue Ellen's situation though, the baby didn't really seem to be the problem or the solution, it was just an innocent party caught up in its parents drama right now and to have a happy and healthy childhood, Sue Ellen and JR needed to sort out their problems.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Their conversation isn't over, I just split it between this and the next chapter because it got really long. Dialogue partially inspired by the episodes **_**John Ewing III: Part 2**_**, written by Arthur Bernard Lewis, and **_**Black Market Baby**_**, written by Darlene Craviotto. **


	208. Mediation

**Austin, Texas**

Listening to her mother-in-law's words, Sue Ellen grew confused, Miss Ellie's example didn't really relate to what they'd just been speaking about, "what exactly did JR say?" For all of the problems they had in their marriage, it didn't seem plausible to Sue Ellen that JR would just change when their child was born, their problems were much deeper than what she assumed her in-laws had been. However, she did partially understand what Miss Ellie was saying, because in the midst of the mess of all the problems going on right now, the baby was the one thing that gave her life any meaning and she very much was looking forward to being a mother, even if her personal situation was less than ideal right now. "Well, to be honest, he didn't really. JR has never been much of a talker and when I asked him what was going on, he gave me a very general overview, though he never specifically said. From the talks you and I have had in the past though, I got the feeling that to properly understand what was happening and figure out how I could help, I really needed to come here and speak to you. However, JR said enough for me to conclude that you two have been having some problems, problems that aren't going to be solved by a separation from each other like this". Sue Ellen nodded and sighed at Miss Ellie's explanation, it seemed rather convenient for JR to brush over his wrongdoings and act as if they were just having a few small marital problems, ones that could be fixed if they just talked to each other; not that talking was a bad thing, but it wasn't a master fix. "Miss Ellie, I don't mean to be rude, but it's a lot more complicated than the way JR explained it, and to be honest, a separation is exactly what we need right now, because I'm not getting any feedback from JR that he even wants to sort out our issues, so why would I go back to him? I get the feeling that he wants me to do what I did last time this happened, just accept it and move on, regardless of whether the actual issue has been resolved or not, and in this case, it hasn't. He hasn't even made any real effort to apologise or show that he is remorseful for what he did, nor did he even try to commit to changing his behaviour, quite the opposite in fact, to the point where he seems to be punishing me for reacting to his provocation". She sighed as she stopped herself from saying any more, she didn't want to get into the details, but she didn't know how to make Miss Ellie understand her perspective. The way Sue Ellen saw it, JR was at fault, JR held the power in their marriage and the only thing Miss Ellie could hope to gain from this conversation was an insight into her son's life, but she wouldn't find a solution, because it wasn't up to Sue Ellen to make that move, not really.

Miss Ellie listened as Sue Ellen gave her a little more information about what was going on, though it really didn't explain much, it just confirmed her suspicion that JR was in fact the one at fault in the situation. "Punishing you? Sue Ellen, please, I can help you if you just let me in" her attention was heightened as Sue Ellen finished speaking and she began to question exactly what it was that JR had done and what he was still doing to her. Sue Ellen felt the familiar stomach pains that came with her nervousness to physically remind her that she was uncomfortable in a situation. "I…" she didn't know what to say, telling her mother-in-law that she was about to run out of money because of her husband's controlling nature seemed wrong, but she also felt wrong telling her that everything was fine, because it clearly wasn't. Miss Ellie noticed Sue Ellen's eyes quickly glancing at the notepad on the coffee table and she suddenly realised that the information written on the page was exactly what she had first thought it was. Sue Ellen knew how to budget, Patricia had controlled and directed her income and expenditure for most of her life, but the moment she'd married JR, she'd lost the need to stick to a predetermined sum; but now, she was back to calculating and allocating her money down to the last penny and Miss Ellie had a fair idea why. "Sue Ellen, look at me", she reached over to touch Sue Ellen's hand, "what did JR do to make you finally leave Dallas?" she decided that asking her point blank was the best route to take. She wasn't asking her to be nasty about it, she really did genuinely care about Sue Ellen and want to help her in any way she could, but to do that, she needed to know the details. Sue Ellen seemed vulnerable right now and Miss Ellie knew that when Sue Ellen was vulnerable, she was more likely to let her true feelings come out. Having been so distracted by her anxiety stomach pains, she hadn't realised how close to tears she was and as Miss Ellie took her hand and spoke to her gently and genuinely, she felt the first tear roll down her cheek , "oh Miss Ellie, where did we go wrong…" She didn't know how or why now, but all of a sudden, she found herself wanting to and actually voicing all of her thoughts and feelings, much like she had just before the car accident just before she got pregnant, without regard to social politeness, just the cold, hard truth of the situation.

**Dallas, Texas**

"I can't believe you sometimes JR, you disgust me!" Miss Ellie didn't even bother knocking on JR's bedroom door before she entered the room in an angry state. "That girl has done nothing but try to be the best wife she knew how and you of all people have to know how hard that is for her, so how you can turn around and treat her like she's nothing to you is beyond me", she looked at him as he tried to respond, "no, no excuses. I know too much for you to talk your way out of this. There is no reasonable explanation for what you put her through. You neglected that girl from the day you brought her into this house; I know you may not see it that way, but it's true. A few weeks of attention builds up her hopes and then those hopes all come crashing down when she realises the reality of the situation, a reality you allow and do nothing to change. Your first mistreatment of her was for the business, but she understood that; in pursuit of being a good wife, she really tried to accommodate your needs and be there for you, even when you didn't have the time for her, because she knew how important Ewing Oil was to you. However, the mistreatment that has had greatest impact on her, an impact that has very nearly ruined her both emotionally and physically, is that despite the fact that you had a loving, dedicated, willing, besotted, absolutely beautiful wife waiting for you at home, somehow that wasn't enough and you felt the need to be with other women. When you married Sue Ellen, I really hoped that you'd left your old lifestyle behind and had committed to being a loving, faithful husband, but obviously I had too much faith. How could you do that JR? Then, to make it worse, you didn't even have the decency to keep your dirty little secret to yourself and ended up endangering your own health, your wife's health and the health of your unborn child? That is despicable and disgusting and I am disappointed beyond words", she shook her head at the thought, she really didn't know what else to say, she was angry and appalled by her son's actions, but the fact of the matter was, she wasn't actually the one he had to seriously apologise to, she wasn't Sue Ellen.

"I partially blame myself for the way things have turned out, because I witnessed your wife cry and look lonelier than any young woman should more than enough times and I let it slide because I naively believed that you and Sue Ellen were adults who were capable of communicating and empathising with each other. I know better now though and I'm not going to sit by and do nothing anymore. This is serious JR, Sue Ellen is on the verge of leaving you, despite your cruel attempt at dragging her back to Dallas", she glared at him in disapproval as she acknowledged his financial manipulation of his wife's actions. She didn't tell him that she had personally put a stop to his cruelty, making sure that Sue Ellen had access to more than enough money until she figured out her next move, he didn't need to know that, not yet anyway. "I want her to come back because she wants to and she feels comfortable doing so, not just because she feels that she has nowhere else to go. Now, here's what you're going to do, and this is an order, not a suggestion. You are going to think long and hard about your actions and how they affect not only you, but everyone around you. Then, you are going to fly to Austin, make a heartfelt apology that you really, honestly mean and then you are going to get down on your knees and beg your wife for forgiveness. If you're lucky, then she'll listen and cautiously accept your apology and hopefully she'll come back to Southfork and if she does come back to Southfork, you'd better get your act together and start living the way a good husband and father should, not only for your wife and child, but for yourself. There is nothing more important than family and from the way you've been acting lately, I think it's safe to say you've forgotten that", she paused to regather her thoughts and then spoke again; "you were a small child when I stopped interfering in your life. I gave you up too soon. I should have held onto you a little longer". She paused for a long moment before sighing to herself; looking him in the eye, she finished what she felt she had to say, "please JR, for me, for your daddy, for your wife and your child and ultimately, for yourself, please take this seriously. You will regret it if you get to my age and you have nothing meaningful in your life. You're still young and you have all the opportunity in the world, please listen to me and reconsider your actions and choices", she spoke as she looked him directly in the eye before she smiled weakly and turned to leave the room, leaving him to consider what she had said and hopefully follow through with her requests.

To be continued…


	209. Reflective

**Austin, Texas**

Walking out of the elevator and down the hallway back to her hotel room after breakfast on Saturday morning, Sue Ellen was surprised as she unlocked the door and was greeted by the image of hundreds of yellow roses carefully placed around the room and against her better judgement, she found herself actually smiling at the gesture for a moment. She quickly reminded herself that she couldn't allow herself to get caught up in the grandeur of JR's 'apology' though, because all the gifts in the world didn't equal the two things she really wanted, a real apology and an honest future commitment. It had been two days since she'd told Miss Ellie everything and although Miss Ellie's promise to personally deal with the situation seemed to have been partially acted upon, nothing much had really changed. Sure, JR had reinstated her access to their joint bank account, sent her a few material gifts and written a few generic apology notes to go along with the gifts, but none of those things were anything more than what she was entitled to and deserved for just being his wife. JR was capable of so much more than his current effort and she knew it; she'd experienced his honest, loving, apologetic side in the past when his actions hadn't been half as bad as what he'd done to alienate her this time. It didn't seem right to just call him and start the process of forgiveness now just because he sent her a few flowers, gifts and made the bare minimum effort to be the husband that she deserved; he had so much more to prove and say before she could even begin to think about going back to him.

Miss Ellie had been appalled at her eldest son's behaviour and had vowed to have a strong word with him, and from his quick change of attitude and behaviour, it appeared clear that that had happened. However, because of Miss Ellie's involvement, Sue Ellen was hesitant to believe that the efforts JR was currently making were genuine as opposed to him reacting to his mother's chastisement and just reaching out to her because he had no other choice. No, JR was going to have to show that he was honestly and genuinely repentant for his actions and he really did want to change his lifestyle and repair their relationship; anything less simply wasn't good enough, she deserved better. Miss Ellie had said nothing but positive things to her in response to her questions of where she'd gone wrong and moments where she blamed herself for JR's actions, and she had confirmed to her what she'd already known deep down, that it wasn't really her fault and she didn't deserve the way JR treated her. Miss Ellie's words fed into the teachings she'd heard her entire life; her mother had raised her to believe that as long as she did exactly what was expected of her and she did it to the highest standard, then she was entitled to all the trappings of a wonderful, decadent life. To that same idea, Sue Ellen had added that if she was a loving, caring, dutiful wife, then she deserved an equally loving and dedicated husband; she didn't want to be a clone of her mother, so she'd needed to ground the idea in emotion rather than money. If money was the most important thing, then she would be Mrs Billy Frampton right now, but it wasn't and she wasn't, she was Mrs JR Ewing, but recently, she'd not been treated the way she should have, not emotionally, physically or financially. She firmly believed that she deserved more than what she had been given lately and to run back to her husband at the first sign of change would send him the wrong message, especially since she believed that he'd only changed his attitude toward her because his mother told him to. No, JR Ewing had a lot of work to do before he was anywhere near getting his wife back.

**Dallas, Texas**

Looking up from his newspaper as he ate his breakfast, JR greeted his parents as they sat down at the breakfast table, though neither of them seemed particularly pleased to see him right now. His father hadn't said anything about the situation with Sue Ellen since their discussion in his office a couple of days ago, but it was clear from the way he'd interacted with him that Miss Ellie had told him everything Sue Ellen had obviously told her and his father was equally disappointed. At first, JR had been aggravated at Sue Ellen for telling his mother the details of what had happened and for allowing her to have a say in their marriage, because the way he saw it, their marriage and their problems really weren't anyone else's business. However, after cooling down from his initial annoyance and after really considering what his mother had said to him, he realised that she was right and that he couldn't blame Sue Ellen for the situation, especially since she never would have had anything to complain about if it weren't for his actions. As much as he didn't want to admit it, everything his mother had said made sense; Sue Ellen did try hard and deserve better than what she was given, there was no good excuse for his actions and his mother had stood by and waited for them to fix their issues before really interfering. The only person to blame for Sue Ellen's indefinite absence from Southfork was JR and he knew it.

In identifying that he only had himself to blame, he'd found himself feeling things that JR Ewing didn't feel very often; he was ashamed, embarrassed and actually remorseful, both for what he'd done and the effect it had had on his wife and very nearly on his child. He'd never intended for Sue Ellen to find out that he was cheating on her and hadn't really considered what effect his actions would have on her in a situation where she did find out, so when the veil was lifted and she not only had a suspicion, but complete proof of his misdeeds, he didn't know how to react. He'd originally gone to Austin to see her with the intent to apologise and bring her home, however, he hadn't expected her intense anger and hostility toward him and in his surprised state, he'd made a huge mistake, he'd tried to excuse his behaviour instead of just taking responsibility for his actions and the repercussions of those actions. Reflecting on the conversation that day, he saw why she'd been upset and why his presence hadn't been welcomed, he'd underestimated just how angry and upset she really was and he'd approached her in the wrong way. Looking back at his reaction, financially cutting her off in response to her justified emotional outburst was the wrong thing to do, but at the time, it had seemed like the only logical step. Honestly, he was hurt by her words, especially when she'd said that she hated him and he'd really reacted on an emotional level more than a logical one; if she wasn't going to return to him out of love, then he'd get his satisfaction from making her beg; it was twisted and cruel, but it felt good in the moment. However, now, almost a week later, with his parents now knowledgeable of the situation and having had time to really consider his actions, he realised that he was the one to blame for everything, and for that, he felt ashamed, embarrassed and remorseful. In response to his feelings, he'd begun sending Sue Ellen flowers and gifts; a gesture that was partially because he wanted to soften her up in preparation for his in-person apology, but partially and more honestly, he was just buying time for himself. He'd never admit it to anyone, but he was scared of what would happen when he eventually did fly to Austin again to apologise. He wanted his wife back, he was sure of it, but Sue Ellen was an angry, disappointed woman and no matter how much effort he put into apologising to her, he couldn't control her reaction to him and that made him uncomfortable. He didn't like the vulnerability that came with the situation; this was all new to him, JR Ewing wasn't known for his apologies, he was known for his ruthlessness. He needed to mentally prepare himself for the situation, because the way his life had worked up until this point was all but useless right now, and that worried him.

To be continued…


	210. Father, Son, Husband?

**Austin, Texas**

Sighing to herself as she lay down in bed for an afternoon nap, Sue Ellen felt tears running down her cheeks; she wasn't entirely sure what she was crying about, because nothing out of the ordinary had really happened today, so she attributed her current state to general emotion and frustration. Physically, she felt terrible; she was beginning to feel out of breath just doing simple tasks, she felt bloated and unattractive, as if every ounce of the twelve pounds that she'd gained so far was pure fat; she'd recently developed bad indigestion, and as if that wasn't enough, the baby didn't seem to want to stay still today. She hadn't been this physically uncomfortable since the beginning of her pregnancy and her physical discomfort combined with her emotional state meant that she was not in a good place right now. Emotionally, she was overwhelmed and confused by her conflicting feelings; she was still in a lot of pain and felt a lot of anger toward JR for his actions, and she didn't trust him or his change in attitude toward her, it seemed too convenient to be genuine. However, a huge part of her did love him and really wanted to trust that he was sorry and did want to change; so the thoughts running through her mind were hugely conflicting and were frustrating to deal with. "Baby, please, I know you like doing that, but mama's tired", she spoke the words aloud as the baby started to move again; she'd long since gotten over the self-consciousness of talking to the baby as if it were able to respond to her like an adult. She usually enjoyed feeling the baby move and having a reminder that she wasn't all alone, but right now, she felt overwhelmed by everything and she didn't feel well, so to have her quiet nap time constantly interrupted was frustrating and irritating, though she knew she only felt that way because of her general mood, it wasn't the baby's fault. After ten or fifteen minutes of constant crying, her tears subsided and in her post-emotional state, she quietly fell asleep, sleeping most of the afternoon away and only awaking in the early evening, just in time for dinner.

**Dallas, Texas**

Eating an early breakfast, JR left the house before the rest of the family awoke on Sunday morning; things were tense at Southfork right now between JR and the rest of the Ewings and he couldn't deal with another awkward meal with his family. His parents had begun questioning and noting his every move, Lucy was starting to get suspicions and ask questions about when Sue Ellen was coming home and Bobby, despite being no angel himself, had expressed his disapproval of JR's actions, both cheating on his wife and being stupid enough to allow himself to get caught. It was time for him to fly to Austin, make amends and bring his wife home, anything less was unacceptable to his parents and was uncomfortable for him as a member of the Ewing family.

**Austin, Texas**

Feeling a little bit better than she had the previous day, Sue Ellen made her way downstairs for breakfast and then over to a nearby day spa for a massage, manicure and pedicure; she always felt better after she took good care of her own needs. Returning to the hotel around noon, her stomach dropped at the sight of her husband pacing back and forth in the lobby, a large bouquet of yellow roses in one hand and a small gift box in the other; she was nervous about having a real conversation with him, but he'd earned at least that much and she was ready. Looking up, JR suddenly felt more nervous than he had in a long time, this was his chance to make things right between them, or at least begin to, and he had to make sure he didn't say or do anything that would ruin the possibility of getting his wife back. Studying her appearance as he walked toward her, he found himself noticing things that he hadn't noticed in a long time and discovering new things about her, things he regretted missing the development of. She was still the most beautiful woman in Texas, almost the same as she had been the first moment he'd laid eyes on her, but now, there was something different about the way she carried herself and for that he felt responsible, for both the good and the bad. He accepted that for any period of time they were away from each other there was bound to be a few minor physical changes, hair length, nail colour, new outfits etc., but he regretted missing out on seeing their baby grow and develop and watching his wife's body adapt to that development. They hadn't seen each other in over a week and in the grand scheme of life, that really wasn't a long period of time, but she was pregnant and if he remembered correctly, she was midway through her pregnancy now and he could tell. In just that small space of time, it seemed as if the baby had grown and Sue Ellen's abdominal area had gotten significantly larger, though he knew his mind was probably exaggerating. However, even if his mental image was exaggerated, it still didn't stop him from regretting the time they were apart and the significant events he'd missed.

The annoyance, anger and smugness that he'd had a few weeks ago and up until a few days ago, before and during the time when the original issue had come to light, was all but gone now and in its place was remorse, regret and shame. In the moment, cheating on his wife didn't seem like such a terrible thing, in general, he only did with other women things that his wife didn't or wouldn't do anyway, and he put enough effort into being safe and discreet that what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her, so in his mind, he felt somewhat justified. However, when his infidelity did finally come to light, she was justifiably angry and upset and looking at the situation now, he understood her reaction and why she had written him that note and left town; he also knew and understood now that the way he'd reacted to her reaction was completely the wrong way to go about things. Empathy had never been one of his strong traits, so it had taken him a lot longer than it should have to see things from her perspective, and if it hadn't been for his mother basically forcing him to acknowledge his wrongdoings, it probably would have taken him even longer. Now that he had though, he understood Sue Ellen and he agreed with her, she'd only done what any sane woman would do in her situation and for that, he didn't have any right to be angry with her. Slowly walking toward her, his stomach flip-flopped as he came to terms with the significance and severity of the situation. If he didn't get this meeting right, then he very well may never get his wife back, and without his wife by his side, the opportunity to prove himself to be the husband, father and son that everyone wanted and expected him to be and he wanted to be would quickly disappear. Standing in front of her, he looked down at her and gave her a genuine, hopefully remorseful-looking smile, "hello darlin'", he hesitated about whether to kiss her on the cheek and decided against it for the moment as he handed her the bouquet of yellow roses and waited for her to respond.

To be continued…


	211. Meeting

**Austin, Texas**

"JR", she greeted him as she exhaled, not having realised that she'd been holding her breath from the moment she'd seen him; she didn't want to be attracted to him, not right now, not with everything that he'd done to her, but that didn't mean that she wasn't attracted to him, because she was, very much. "You look beautiful", he looked her in the eye as he genuinely complimented her, "thank you", she was flattered as she accepted his compliment, but she was also confused, this wasn't the same JR that had visited her last week and their conversation so far wasn't at all how she'd envisioned it. Handing her the bouquet of yellow roses and small gift box, he took notice of her physical features in more detail; she really was a beautiful lady. "Can we go somewhere a little more private to talk? I have a few things I'd like to say", he couldn't believe how nervous he was, JR Ewing wasn't supposed to feel like this, he was supposed to be in control of the situation and feel confident that everything would work out in his favour. However, today, he knew that wasn't entirely true, he had the power of persuasion, charm, and hopefully love on his side, but the final decision of the fate of their marriage wasn't his to make. He knew that Sue Ellen had to come back to Southfork willingly, he couldn't force her back, not now that his parents knew why she'd left; he may have been able to get away with manipulating her actions and decisions in the past, but not anymore, his parents simply wouldn't accept his negative behaviour toward his wife any longer. Sue Ellen motioned toward the hotel restaurant, "the steak is wonderful", she wasn't sure that she really wanted to commit to a whole lunch with him, but the reality was that it was lunch time, she was hungry, the hotel was her safe territory and she sure as hell wasn't going to invite him upstairs to her room. "Lead the way", JR grinned to himself as they walked a few feet toward the restaurant, lunch was a much friendlier gesture than he'd expected from her and if she was this friendly now, then maybe there was hope for their relationship. "Corner table please", JR asserted his power and the hostess changed her direction and led them toward a corner table, away from the rest of the patrons.

JR broke the somewhat awkward silence that they'd fallen into after placing their drink orders, "thank you for seeing me darlin'", he really was trying, his mother's words had had an effect on him and he now realised that his life didn't exist in a vacuum and his actions had consequences, whether he intended them to or not. "Well, I thought I at least owed you the courtesy after you sent me all of those flowers and lovely gifts. Thank you for those", she smiled at him, though her guard was still up and she was consciously reminding herself not to get too emotionally involved with his thoughtful, charming side, because although the flowers and gifts were lovely, they were still only material gestures and they didn't make up for any of his lies or deception. "I'm glad you liked them", JR smiled briefly before their conversation lulled again and they found themselves in another awkward silence. After their drinks arrived and the waitress left the table, Sue Ellen decided that it was time to stop the polite conversation and get on to the real reason why he was in Austin right now, "you said you had something to say and I'm here now, so please…" She looked at him from across the table as she spoke and as they made eye contact, he saw past her emotional wall for a moment, her expressive brown eyes divulging so many things that were unsaid. "I…" he didn't know how to start the conversation, it wasn't a pleasant subject, "well, there's a lot, but first and foremost, I wanted to say that I'm sorry". He looked at her as he spoke before casting his eyes down at the table as he thought about what he was apologising for; whatever way he looked at the situation, all paths led back to him being the one who was responsible for her heartbreak. Sure, her mother was to blame for her low self-esteem and Sue Ellen herself was to blame for her feelings and reactions to certain events, but ultimately, if JR had been a good husband, in more ways than just being a faithful husband, then most of her pain wouldn't have existed. "You're sorry?" Sue Ellen spoke in a tone as if to tell him that she was waiting and expecting further explanation; she could see that he was trying, but she needed more than just a sorry, she needed answers, true remorse and a recommitment and she wanted to make sure that he understood that. JR sensed a little hostility in her words and the confidence he'd had when she first suggested lunch was all but gone now; she may have been friendly when they were exchanging social niceties, but this was a real, raw conversation and she was emotionally affected by it. Gathering whatever confidence he still had, he spoke again, "I am. I'm sorry for everything; for the infidelity, for the emotional neglect, for the lies and the distrust, for the lack of emotional understanding or consideration I put into my actions, for ever making you think that you weren't good enough, for everything. I'm sorry for everything", he was self-conscious as he finished his brief explanation and he braced himself for hostility and anger and he didn't blame her for feeling that way toward him.

As JR spoke, all of the pain she'd felt over the past few weeks returned to her and she suddenly felt uncomfortable being so close to him and she regretted asking him to lunch, she wasn't ready to be acting as if things were good between them, because they weren't. "Sorry is just a word JR, and while I can appreciate the gesture and the effort it took to say those words, I can't honestly sit here and say that I forgive you, because I don't, not yet anyway", she took a sip of her club soda as she gathered her thoughts and watched JR looking around the room uncomfortably. "Why JR?" she came back from her brief pause with just two words, two words that JR didn't completely understand the meaning of; "why what?" in his mind, he'd apologised and admitted his wrongdoing, but in her mind, that was only half of the discussion. Frustrated with his lack of understanding, Sue Ellen sighed, "why did you do it? Why wasn't I enough? Why didn't you say anything to me if you were unhappy? Why did it go on for so long? Why, why, why", she felt herself getting more emotional as she spoke, it was painful to relive the experience and being here with him right now was almost too much. "I…" he didn't really know how to explain his actions, they were wrong, but at the time, he'd had a justification for most things, and for the rest, he either hadn't cared about how she would feel or he simply didn't think about her at all, "you want the honest truth? I cheated because I could; it wasn't you at all, it was all me. The emotional neglect happened from a combination of my drive for control of Ewing Oil and because ultimately, I'm selfish and never considered your feelings. Almost everything I do can be attributed to three motivations, money, power and greed", he sighed and stopped himself from explaining it too much in-depth, he didn't know exactly how much she knew about him and he didn't want to ruin any more of her opinions or mental images of him. "Look, Sue Ellen, I've made a lot of mistakes, but none worse than hurting you as much as I did a few weeks ago. I am truly sorry, for everything, but especially for the pain and hurt I've caused you recently". He paused and took a deep breath, "I know it's asking too much right now, but I really hope that in the future, you'll find a way to accept my apology and believe my commitment to you is real. I promise, if you agree to come back to Southfork and take me back as your husband, I promise I won't let you down. I'll make you proud to call me your husband, our child proud to call me their father and mama and daddy proud to have me as a son again. All I ask is for another chance, one more chance to prove myself capable of being those things", he sat quietly as he waited for her to respond, and as Sue Ellen sat in silence as she considered his words, he began to wonder whether he'd said too much. He had rambled a little more than he intended to, but he hoped that she understood and saw how sorry he was and how much he did want a second chance. "Sue Ellen?" he broke the long silence that had come over them, though as he did, he immediately regretted it, "I'm sorry JR. I can't do this right now. I have to go", she spoke quickly and quietly before standing, taking her purse and leaving the table.

To be continued…


	212. Development

**Austin, Texas**

JR was left dumbfounded as he watched his wife walk away from the table and possibly away from their marriage. He wanted to go after her, but logically, he knew that wasn't the wisest thing to do right now, not when she was so emotionally sensitive and especially since he'd basically given her the entire apology and explanation he'd had planned and rehearsed; he really had nothing more to say, at least nothing that would honestly improve the situation. Watching her for as long as she was visible before she turned a corner and disappeared out of his line of sight, he found himself completely confused about what to do now. He had explained and taken responsibility for his actions, apologised to her and he'd thought that he'd made it clear that he genuinely did want to fix their relationship, so it frustrated him that his efforts apparently weren't enough for her. The secondary thought in his mind after his frustration was worry, worry about the future of their marriage and what that meant, especially since she was halfway through her pregnancy already; and in a thought that was related more to the present than the future, he was worried about his parent's reaction when he arrived back in Dallas alone. His mother empathised with Sue Ellen on an emotional level and would probably understand her decision not to return to Southfork and resume her life as Mrs JR Ewing right now, however, his father wasn't the same way at all and he definitely wouldn't understand why JR failed to bring his wife home with him. To Jock, it was all well and good to try the nice way first, flowers, gifts and apologies, but if that failed to work, he saw no reason why JR should have to continue letting Sue Ellen call the shots. Sure, marriage was about compromises and both parties being happy with decisions, but ultimately, the husband was in control and the wife was supposed to follow, especially when her husband directly asked or told her to do something. For Sue Ellen to be the one making the decisions and JR seemingly just accepting them and not putting his foot down to make her do what he said, would not sit well with Jock, especially since Sue Ellen was carrying the future Ewing heir. Jock had told JR to use whatever means necessary to bring Sue Ellen and their child back to Southfork and JR knew that to his father, that meant anything, even kidnapping her and forcibly bringing her back was acceptable if it proved to be the only way. JR however did have a little empathy and didn't want to alienate her any further than he already had, especially since he actually wanted her back as his wife, not just because she was the mother of his child, so for now, he accepted her decision.

"Are you ready to order sir?" he was brought back into the reality of his current location as the waitress appeared at the table. Looking at his watch, JR decided that although everything was a mess right now, he still needed to eat, and Sue Ellen had said that the restaurant was excellent, "mhm, I'll have the steak, medium and I mean medium, not medium-rare, not medium-well, just medium. Oh, and another", he motioned toward his glass as he spoke, a drink was exactly what he needed right now. "Yes sir, and for your wife?" the waitress assumed that Sue Ellen had just temporarily left the room, though she was quickly corrected, "my wife wasn't feeling very well, so she went upstairs to rest, she insisted that I stay though, said the steak was wonderful…" For some reason, he felt as if it was necessary to give an explanation about her whereabouts, though logically he didn't know why, the young woman was just a waitress, she didn't care or need to know where the man's wife had gone. "Very well sir", she wrote down his order and collected his empty glass before leaving him alone with his thoughts again.

**Dallas, Texas**

As her flight landed in Dallas on Tuesday morning, Sue Ellen suddenly felt confused and nervous; she was finally back in Dallas, though it wasn't because she wanted to be or felt she was ready to be; the only reason she was here right now was because of the love she had for her unborn child. She had a prenatal check-up later in the afternoon and as much as she didn't want to be in Dallas or talk to her obstetrician, the person who had indirectly revealed JR's cheating in the first place, she knew she had a maternal responsibility to make sure that her child was as healthy as possible. Exiting the airport building and walking toward the long-term car parking area, she crossed her fingers and hoped that her car was still there; she had been gone for over two weeks and JR had been angry for most of that time, so it wasn't entirely unbelievable to think that he'd been mad enough to have her car towed. Entering the parking structure, she sighed with relief as she spotted her shiny black Camaro, just as she had left it; perhaps she'd demonized JR in her mind, or perhaps he just hadn't thought about anything other than finding her and bringing her back to Southfork, and the location of her car was of no relevance to him. Putting her luggage in the trunk and getting into her car, she left the airport, heading downtown toward the hospital as she considered her next move; she had three options, she could check into a hotel and wait for JR to find her again, she could fly back to Austin, or she could go back to Southfork. She sighed to herself as she realised that none of her options were very appealing and none of them really offered a solution to her problems, because ultimately, her problems were emotional, not locational and whichever one she chose, she would still have the same thoughts and issues to deal with.

Across town, JR sat in his office at Ewing Oil as he read over some papers, though his mind was completely distracted and he wasn't really paying attention to the words on the page at all. The sound of his intercom buzzing brought him out of his distant thoughts, "yes?" he snapped at his secretary, though he immediately regretted it, she didn't deserve his bad mood. "Put him on", he listened to his secretary as she explained that his private detective was on the line and needed to speak to him urgently and his mood improved immensely as the man delivered the news he'd been waiting for for weeks; finally he had confirmation that Sue Ellen had left Austin and was back in Dallas. He hoped that she had come to her senses and was returning home to her husband, but he wasn't so naïve to really believe that she was, however, whatever she was there for didn't really matter now, she was back in Ewing territory and he wasn't going to let her leave so easily this time.

To be continued…


	213. Confusion

**Dallas, Texas**

"…your blood pressure is a little high and although you appear to be healthy in other areas, I do worry about your mental health and the way that affects both you and your baby. High levels of stress can be detrimental during pregnancy and can lead to premature birth; low birth weight; low immunity and increased risk of infection, and in some cases, the stress of a mother during pregnancy can affect the baby's life for much longer than the period of gestation or their first few months after birth. As your doctor, I must urge you to reduce your stress levels and work on lowering your blood pressure; I want you and your baby to be healthy and if we deal with the problem now before it becomes a real concern, then I think you have a much higher chance of a healthy pregnancy and safe birth". Sue Ellen sat quietly and listened as Doctor Krane frowned at the blood pressure reading and then gave her a speech about reducing her stress levels, a speech Sue Ellen really didn't appreciate at the moment. It wasn't her fault that she was so stressed right now, she wasn't the one that had cheated and she wasn't the one who had revealed the cheating, she and her child were just innocent victims in the situation. "I understand and I'll try my best. I want my baby to be happy and healthy," she sighed to herself as she considered the situation, how was she supposed to reduce her stress? If she stayed away from Southfork, whether it be in Austin or Dallas, she would still feel pressure from Jock, Miss Ellie, JR, her mother and society in general to do the 'right thing' and accept her husband's wrongdoings for the sake of their marriage, their child and most importantly, for the sake of keeping up appearances. The women's liberation movement could only do so much and the reality of her situation was that, being a 'single', pregnant woman, she would be viewed as selfish, unstable and unfit to be a mother if she purposely decided to stay away from her marital home and support system for much longer than she already had. She had always been concerned about what other people thought about her, so the judgement she would receive from society would cause her distress and that wasn't good for her health at all.

In her mind, she knew that staying away from Southfork and JR was not a realistic permanent solution. If she was to reduce stress in her life, then logically, moving back to Southfork wasn't a stupid idea, her presence there alone would reduce the external pressure she had on her. However, she knew that JR would get the wrong idea and any progress they had made toward improving their marriage would regress and their relationship would possibly worsen if she did return now before they resolved any of their problems. She had no doubt that even if she told him she was moving back for her health and the health of their child and that it didn't mean anything about the state of their marriage, he wouldn't see it that way, he would see it as some kind of personal victory and any progress they had made would be lost. It was a complicated situation and it was one she really didn't have an answer to right now, though that didn't stop her from giving the doctor her standard, people-pleasing answer. Doctor Krane accepted Sue Ellen's answer for now, she knew Sue Ellen and she knew that it would do more harm than good for them to get into a discussion about the reason for her stress, especially since she wasn't a psychiatrist and she wasn't trained to deal with in-depth mental health issues. However, she did make a note of her concerns on Sue Ellen's patient file and instead of scheduling Sue Ellen to come back in four weeks, she scheduled her next appointment for two weeks' time; even if it wasn't of immediate concern, she wanted to keep an eye on Sue Ellen's wellbeing. Thanking the doctor and leaving her office, Sue Ellen left the hospital building and walked toward the parking lot, but as she unlocked her car and got in, she was suddenly struck by the overwhelming urge to cry. Everything was so complicated and confusing right now, her whole life was a mess and even simple tasks like deciding her destination seemed overwhelming in the present moment. "What am I going to do?" she mumbled aloud to herself as the tears began to stream down her cheeks; crying wasn't a solution, but it was necessary part of her life right now, especially since she knew that if she repressed her feelings then she was doing the exact opposite of what the doctor had told her to do.

"I'm looking at her right now, she's just sitting in the gazebo in Central Square Park; it's very close to the hospital…" JR listened as his private detective informed him of Sue Ellen's live movements; she was much easier to track now that she was back in Dallas; "ok, keep an eye on her and keep me updated. That's all for now", he could have been there in less than ten minutes, but JR knew that just showing up at her current location would frighten her more than it would endear him to her, so he stopped himself from making any sudden moves. However, he saw no harm in knowing where she was, even if he did nothing with that information in the present moment. Her check-up at the hospital answered the question of why she was back in Dallas and it pleased him that her current mental and emotional instability wasn't affecting her so badly that she was neglecting their child. However, just knowing that she was back in Dallas and she was acting somewhat rationally just wasn't enough for him and what he wanted to know now was what her plan was now that she was here, though from what his private detective had told him, it sounded as if even she didn't really know what she was doing. From what he understood, she had gotten into her car, sat there for fifteen minutes, not moving or even turning on the ignition, she had then gotten out and walked to a nearby park and had now been there for almost twenty minutes, just sitting and staring off into space. Those simply weren't the actions of a decisive woman and he had no doubt that she was confused about their marriage, he sure was. Looking at his watch, he saw that it was nearing three in the afternoon; in just a few hours, it would be dark and she would be forced to make a decision about what her plan was now that she was back in Dallas. Making a decision that may have seemed quick and nice to an outsider, but was really rather well-thought-out and manipulative, he decided that if she didn't make contact with him by the end of the day, then he would leave her alone for a few days before he made an effort to contact her again. Her lack of communication was the biggest sign that she obviously wasn't ready to talk to him just yet, and for right now, he was ok with that, because she had come to Dallas on her own and that was more progress than both he and his mother had managed to make in their attempts at persuasion. If he played his cards right and gave her the space she so clearly wanted, then she may just come back to him without him really having to do anything; it was a mind game, but he liked mind games and he was ready for this one.

To be continued…


	214. Father-Son Talk

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR", Jock stopped his eldest son as he was about to walk upstairs after dinner, it was time he and JR had a serious discussion, because things simply could not continue the way they were, it wasn't good for anyone. It had been almost three weeks since Sue Ellen had left Southfork under the guise of visiting her mother, though not long after she'd left he had found out the real reason for her departure, one that deeply disappointed and angered him. After listening to Miss Ellie's plea to allow JR and Sue Ellen a little time to deal with their problems themselves, he'd calmed himself down enough to prevent him from doing anything drastic to get Sue Ellen and more importantly, the baby she was carrying, back to Southfork. But now, weeks after hearing the news and having JR assure him that he was working on bringing his wife home, he was just about done with waiting; if JR wasn't going to man up and take control of the situation, then he would have to do it himself. "Yes daddy?" JR was confused as his father stopped him from walking any further and pointed toward the downstairs office, sometimes they talked business after dinner, but he hadn't been aware that they were doing that tonight, especially since he couldn't think of anything that needed discussing right now. "I want to talk to you, alone", JR listened to his father's words and immediately noticed that his tone was serious, and in his experience, when his father was serious and wanted to speak to him alone, something was usually wrong, though right now, he really had no idea what it was. "Yes sir", he followed his father into the office and gulped as Jock closed the door behind him, it was a signal to anyone outside the room that he didn't want to be disturbed; something was definitely wrong.

"I have a few things I want to say, things I should have said a long time ago", Jock walked straight toward the bar and started to make two drinks as he spoke, they may have just had dinner, but this was a situation that was easier to handle with a drink in his hand. JR simply nodded as his father spoke, he still didn't really understand what was going on, "thank you", he took the drink his father handed to him and waited for him to speak again. Staring into space for a moment, Jock gathered his thoughts and then began to speak, "you know, I never did stop you boys having a good time. Hell, I always did. But there comes a time and a place when fun stops and you start facing up to your responsibilities. You've always had that place in business but apparently that understanding didn't translate to your home life, though I don't really know why not, Sue Ellen really was the perfect choice for your wife and the mother of the Ewing heir, you should have been happy to marry such a suitable lady, especially one that really loved you". He shook his head at the idea of any of his sons disrespecting their wives to the extent that JR had, it simply wasn't gentlemanly and he'd thought he'd raised him better than that; he thought he'd set an example for JR with his own marriage, he and Ellie were very happy and they were committed to each other. "No more JR. I told you that I wanted Sue Ellen and my grandson back on Southfork no matter what, but so far, you've failed to make good on your promise to do just that. I'm giving you an ultimatum, today is Thursday, you have three days before I personally deal with the situation", he spoke in a serious and slightly threatening tone and JR knew what his father meant. Jock wasn't an evil man, but he understood that sometimes difficult choices had to be made and not everyone would be happy with them. If the situation got to a point where it was up to him to bring Sue Ellen and his grandson home, he would first try it the nice way, but if that didn't work, then he wasn't at all hesitant about using his power to override her decision and bring her back whether she wanted to be there or not. If JR wouldn't do it, then it was up to him. He simply could not have a Ewing grandchild living away from Southfork, it just wasn't right.

"From now on, I'll see to it that you stay on the right side of enjoying yourself. It's in everyone's best interest for your wife and child to be here at Southfork and for you and your wife to be happily married. I know that Sue Ellen won't want to come back to this house or your marriage without a promise of change, so you'd better work on what you're going to say and how you're going to keep that promise". He scowled at JR for pushing things so far that needed reminding of the basic concept of monogamy and commitment; he was thirty-two years of age and had been married for almost two years, fidelity should have been ingrained in him by now. "I want Sue Ellen happy to be your wife. I want my grandson here, healthy, and proud to be a Ewing, proud to have you as his father. You have to start acting like a man and being a man means facing up to your responsibilities as a father and husband. The time for playing around is over, that's the way it has to be". He sighed as he finished speaking and as he watched JR's face; nothing he was saying was new or profound information, so really, there shouldn't have been anything for JR to think about in an inquisitive way, it was how it was and that wasn't going to change. Seeing the deadly serious expression on his father's face, coupled with the long speech he'd just given him, JR thought it best not to offer any response other than a complete agreement, "yes sir, I understand". He decided not to go into detail about his current response to the situation, his father simply wouldn't understand his waiting game, Jock wanted Sue Ellen back at Southfork now, not in a few days or weeks when she eventually decided to return on her own like JR assumed she would. Finishing his drink, Jock slapped JR on the back, "good. I trust you'll handle this; you have until Sunday…", he placed his empty glass on the table for Teresa to collect later before he turned and walked out of the room, leaving JR alone to think about everything he'd just said and hopefully start working on a solid plan for getting his wife and son back home to Southfork, permanently.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Part of Jock's speech adapted from the episode **_**John Ewing III: Part 1**_**, written by Camille Marchetta.**


	215. Worry

**Dallas, Texas**

"No messages at all?" Sue Ellen's face dropped as she quizzed the hotel receptionist on Thursday evening as she returned after a day at the spa. At first, she had been relieved at JR's lack of communication upon her return to Dallas, she didn't want to talk to him and she was glad that she didn't have to keep telling him that; it was emotionally exhausting to have to deal with the constant reminders of JR's betrayal. However, having been back for four days now and having had no contact at all with him, her relief was slowly turning into sadness, loneliness and self-doubt. It wasn't JR's style to not send her apology gifts or even try to make contact with her if he wanted her back, or even just to let her know that he knew she was back in Dallas, because she had no doubt that he knew, he was JR Ewing, he knew everything that went on in Dallas. In her mind, influenced by her low self-esteem and pregnancy hormones, she decided that if he had stopped trying to contact her, then he'd stopped thinking about her and had decided that she wasn't worth the trouble anymore, perhaps he'd given up on their marriage altogether. She may have been angry with him and not ready to simply forgive him and go back to living a normal life with him, but she still needed to be Mrs JR Ewing, she needed the name, the money and the familial support that came with being a Ewing; she needed him to keep trying. "I'm sorry ma'am, no messages", the receptionist gave her a sympathetic smile before Sue Ellen thanked her and turned to head upstairs to her room.

"Jock?" Miss Ellie spoke to her husband as she prepared for bed; "mhm", Jock looked up at her and encouraged her to speak. "I'm concerned about Sue Ellen. I called her hotel in Austin earlier today and they said she had checked out, but she didn't say anything about her destination. She was in a terrible state the last time I saw her and I'm very worried about her right now. She's five months pregnant, emotional and all alone; she shouldn't have to be dealing with any of this let alone having to do it alone, especially in an unfamiliar place". She sighed to herself sadly as she thought about the situation; she had hoped that when JR married Sue Ellen that that was the end of his philandering lifestyle, however, instead of stopping, it appeared that he'd just learned to hide that side of himself better. There had been some times when JR and Sue Ellen were legitimately happy and she had no doubt that he really was being faithful and good to his wife, but those good times were intermingled with a lot of bad times, times neither she nor Sue Ellen hadn't even realised were bad times until much later. Miss Ellie felt guilty for her role in the whole situation; she had spent countless hours counselling and consoling Sue Ellen and reminding her of the responsibilities and privileges that came with being a Ewing wife, because in her own experience, it was hard, but it was worth it. She felt guilty for all the times she had reassured Sue Ellen that JR's distance from her wasn't her fault and was all down to his dedication to Ewing Oil and his need to be the best. However, she now knew differently; JR was dedicated to Ewing Oil, but when he was away from Southfork, he wasn't thinking solely about Ewing Oil and he wasn't thinking about his wife nearly as much as she had been thinking about him. She was angry at her eldest son for treating his wife the way that he did, because Sue Ellen had done nothing but try to be the best wife she could and she had felt an enormous amount of guilt and responsibility when they relationship wasn't picture perfect and she wasn't as happy as she was 'supposed' to be.

The way Miss Ellie saw it, JR had treated Sue Ellen so badly that his actions had caused her fragile emotional state to worsen, eventually getting to the point where she felt worthless and confused about her thoughts and actions and honestly questioned whether she had played a part in causing JR to act the way he did. However, although she blamed JR for the majority of the situation, she also felt guilty for the role she had played in the whole ordeal and had thought about it a lot since her discussion with Sue Ellen last week. If she had said or done something earlier than she could have helped Sue Ellen become a stronger, more independent person, one that didn't rely on her husband for her entire identity. She had watched her daughter-in-law get lonelier and more isolated from her peers from the moment she quit modelling when she and JR were dating, but it had really worsened after they had married and JR began to reacquaint himself with being the vice president of Ewing Oil, not just a newly married man. Sue Ellen had thrown herself into being the best, most dedicated wife she knew how to be, but JR had had many more responsibilities than just being a good husband, legitimate responsibilities. Miss Ellie felt bad for sitting by and watching Sue Ellen drift through her life at Southfork; time she had spent alone while JR was busy was time that she didn't necessarily have to spend alone, if she'd had more friends in Dallas, then perhaps she would have had a happier life. She had thought that giving Sue Ellen more responsibility in DOA activities would help bring more substance and meaning to her life, however, it became clear after a while that the DOA really was just a distraction from the general worries of her everyday life. Sue Ellen liked feeling useful, but she never totally understood that she was allowed to dedicate a large part of her attention and energy to other things; it didn't have to be 90% JR and 10% everything else. She and Sue Ellen had had many talks about Sue Ellen's feelings, but they never really came up with a conclusive solution and they never really fixed any of her issues. In hindsight, there probably wasn't anything Sue Ellen could have done to stop JR from cheating, because she wasn't in control of his actions, but she could have protected herself better, she could have worked on improving herself before she tried to improve their marriage.

Miss Ellie sighed to herself, it was a complicated situation and every day that Sue Ellen wasn't at home with her family was another day that her guilt and concern grew. She had seen Sue Ellen in a bad emotional state before the car crash a few months ago and if Sue Ellen didn't start dealing with her issues more openly soon, then she feared that she was heading straight for another breakdown, one that could hurt not only herself, but her child too. "I had a word with JR earlier, gave him an ultimatum; Sue Ellen will be back at Southfork by Sunday, I'll make sure of it", Jock was annoyed with Sue Ellen for causing his wife so much distress, however, he wasn't heartless and he did empathise with the young woman. Even he understood that JR had treated his wife terribly and he understood why she didn't want to see him right now, however, he was just about done with dealing with this situation, it was time for Sue Ellen and his grandson to come back to Southfork where they belonged. At this point, he didn't even care whether she moved back into the bedroom she and JR shared, all that mattered was the fact that the Ewings were together. "Oh Jock", Miss Ellie sighed as she considered her husband's words, he may have meant well with his ultimatum, but he was pushing JR to do something drastic and if JR was being pushed, then any empathy he had left would go out the window in pursuit of what he wanted. "I know what I'm doing, just trust me. The girl will be fine. I'll personally ensure that JR treats her with nothing but kindness and respect once she's back home, and I promise, things will improve simply by having the family together, especially when our new grandson arrives", Jock gave her a kiss on the cheek before picking up his book again, effectively ending the conversation. Miss Ellie sighed, she wasn't going to argue with Jock about this, her words simply wouldn't change anything at this stage, however, not arguing with him was not the same as not doing anything about the situation and she intended to personally make sure that Sue Ellen was ok. She would have to wait until tomorrow to make any moves though, because it was much too late to do anything right now, especially since she didn't even know where Sue Ellen was anymore. Changing into her nightgown, she got into bed, her mind not resting just yet as she planned her new approach to the situation, one that was completely different to both Jock and JR's way of doing things. She needed to remind Sue Ellen that she wasn't alone and had a lot of people that cared about her, because if she knew Sue Ellen, her self-esteem was plummeting by the hour.

To be continued…


	216. Visitors

**Dallas, Texas**

"I'm sorry ma'am; no one is answering the phone. I can take a message and have it delivered to Mrs Ewing later in the day if you'd like", the receptionist gave Miss Ellie a sympathetic smile, it was obvious that the older woman was rather disappointed by the news. Thinking about it for a moment, Miss Ellie made a decision, "no, bring me upstairs. I want to see her myself", she didn't add any particular reason for her request, but inside, she knew that she had to see Sue Ellen personally, she was concerned and she would never forgive herself if something happened to Sue Ellen and she could have fixed it. "I'm sorry ma'am, the hotel policy states…" the receptionist began to explain the hotel's guest and visitor policy, though she was quickly shut down by Miss Ellie, "I don't care what the hotel policy states, I want to see my daughter-in-law and I want to see her now". Pausing for a moment, she calmly and clearly spoke again, taking a page from the Jock Ewing book of manipulation, "we Ewings hold a lot of power in Dallas and I know that one word to a few friends and business associates about the poor customer service at this establishment could make or break the hotel's popularity. I'm sure your manager and the owners would not be happy about that at all". She rarely took advantage of the Ewing name and the power that came with it, however it seemed like the only way she was going to get what she wanted right now and from the look on the receptionist's face, she was right. "Of course ma'am, I'm sorry for the inconvenience", she motioned a bellhop over toward them and instructed him to escort Mrs Ewing upstairs. It was technically against hotel policy, but she knew that the elder Mrs Ewing was right, and from the look on her face when she'd originally enquired, she wasn't there to cause trouble, so it really was the best option to just allow her upstairs.

With tears running down her cheeks, Sue Ellen read and reread the small story in the society section of the newspaper. She had been questioning JR's lack of communication and wondering whether he'd given up on her and their marriage, but she'd been holding out hope that she was wrong; however, from looking at the newspaper article this morning, she felt stupid for ever considering that JR was just giving her space like she'd asked him to. It was almost undeniable now that he had moved on and she was no longer someone he was concerned about, and although she had been incredibly hurt and angry with him, she had still never really considered a life without him as her husband and it hurt to think that she was nothing to him anymore. The content of the article itself was mostly just speculated drama about her hotel stay and general activities that her husband was suspiciously absent from; it was somewhat expected that the press would report on their marital problems sooner or later, because in Dallas, it was difficult for a Ewing to do anything without someone noticing. She had been somewhat prepared for the story because of her lack of expectation of privacy and anonymity when she was in Dallas, however, she wasn't at all prepared for the photograph that accompanied the story, a photograph of JR and a congressman's daughter, a beautiful, young, single woman. If she had looked at the picture from a logical, critical perspective, she would have realised that the picture had been taken at a mixer where hundreds of other businessmen and their wives or daughters were present and there was no evidence that JR had done anything other than pose for an event photographer when asked. However, she wasn't thinking logically right now and all she saw was her husband and another woman, a woman who didn't look at all upset by his presence, a woman who was young, thin and beautiful and a woman who was probably wooed by the JR Ewing charm, straight into the bedroom. She was crying, but she couldn't entirely pinpoint what she was crying about; she was angry and hated JR and everything he had done to her, but she also loved him and was incredibly hurt and frankly, a little jealous that he had been able to move past any emotional issues so quickly, leaving her behind without a second thought.

She had heard the phone ringing, but in her current state, she really didn't feel like answering it, so instead, she just left it to ring out and hoped that whoever it was just assumed that she wasn't there. However, from the polite knocking on the door a few minutes later, she knew that she hadn't been so lucky; deciding that she needed to tell whoever it was to leave face-to-face, she made her way over to the door and spoke through it, not even attempting to open it. "Please, I don't want to see anyone", she mumbled through the door and when she heard Miss Ellie's voice, not that of a hotel employee, she was more than surprised. Standing outside the door, Miss Ellie grew more concerned at the shakiness in Sue Ellen's voice, she had obviously been crying and if she was crying, then she was hugely emotional and it wasn't good for her to not have anyone to confide her emotions in because in the past, it had always proved disastrous to keep things to herself. "Sue Ellen, I'm here to help, I don't want to upset you", she spoke in a quiet, soft voice and urged her daughter-in-law to open the door. She had to get to her before JR did, because if JR's mood at breakfast had been any indication of his attitude toward the situation, his presence here was the last thing Sue Ellen needed. She shook her head at the thought of Jock ordering JR to bring Sue Ellen back to Southfork by Sunday; she firmly believed that forcing the situation was the wrong approach. Sue Ellen was emotional and hurt, JR hated being told what to do and felt as if he'd done his apologising, and neither of them were in a good place to rationally discuss and actively try to resolve their issues. She was relieved when the door opened and Sue Ellen invited her inside, however, her relief was short-lived as she assessed Sue Ellen's appearance; it was clear that she had been crying and not just a few tears. It had been weeks since Sue Ellen had left Southfork, and if she was still this upset, then Miss Ellie knew she had reason to be concerned.

Hours later, after a lengthy conversation, a long, emotional crying session and a lot of self-esteem boosting words from Miss Ellie, Sue Ellen was finally asleep, though Miss Ellie was still concerned. She didn't entirely trust her eldest son, but she doubted that the photograph Sue Ellen was so upset about was actually something that she needed to be worried about. Jock had been pretty clear with JR about his expectations of him and she doubted that he would risk going to bed with someone as well-known as a congressman's daughter, not now. In addition to her doubt, she was also fairly sure that a lot of JR's attitude had to do with his pent-up sexual frustration; his father was watching him like a hawk and he'd been home every night since the news had become public knowledge within the family. She didn't really want to think about JR's sexual habits, however, it seemed to be the topic of conversation a lot nowadays, and it wasn't hard for her to conclude that this was possibly the longest he'd been without female companionship in his entire adult life, and it was obvious that it was beginning to get to him. Sue Ellen had every right to be upset about his infidelity during their marriage, but in this case, Miss Ellie had an inkling that she was overreacting just a little bit.

"Sue Ellen?" Miss Ellie jumped as she heard her eldest son's voice boom through the door into the hotel room and she was surprised when Sue Ellen didn't even stir at the sound, though she assumed that the young woman was probably exhausted from the emotional strain. Quickly getting up from her seat next to Sue Ellen's bed, she made her way over to the door and shushed JR as she allowed him to enter the room. She had briefly thought about telling him to leave, however she knew that Sue Ellen and JR did need to talk to each other and there was no way he was just going to leave without doing that, not with Jock's ultimatum hanging over his head, so she allowed him into the room. JR was surprised as his mother opened the door and even more surprised when she began to give him orders, however, he didn't argue with her, firstly because she was his mother, but mostly because her request made sense. He could see with his own eyes that Sue Ellen was asleep in the bedroom and he didn't want to disturb her or upset her even more than she already was, that wasn't the objective of his visit; he just wanted to bring his wife home. Miss Ellie was relieved when JR complied with her request, though she was still worried about how Sue Ellen would react when she awoke, because the way she was exhausted from their conversation earlier, she wasn't sure that Sue Ellen was ready to have another serious conversation just yet, especially not with JR. She knew one thing for sure though, there was absolutely no way she was going to leave Sue Ellen and JR alone, not with Sue Ellen's fragile state and JR's strong intentions; no, she needed to be there to mediate, or at least just be present to keep JR in line and give Sue Ellen a little moral support. If history had proven anything, it was that although they may technically have been adults, they didn't necessarily act like it sometimes and a parental figure was exactly what they needed right now.

To be continued…


	217. Introspect

**Dallas, Texas**

"How is she mama?" JR whispered as he and Miss Ellie stood in the living room area of the hotel suite. Before he'd entered the room, he honestly hadn't been entirely sure how he was going to approach Sue Ellen and convince her to come back to Southfork, however, now, with his mother present, he knew he had no other option but to profusely apologise, make a lot of promises and beg her to come back. His mother had made it abundantly clear to him in the past that she wasn't going to sit by and allow him to treat Sue Ellen badly anymore and he was fairly sure that making an executive decision as her husband and ordering her to come home to face her responsibilities, was not something that she would approve of. "She's tired, emotional, hurt and she's dealing with it all alone JR, it's not a good situation at all. For the sake of your wife, your child and your marriage, I really hope that you understand the seriousness of the situation…" she paused before deciding she needed to know, "did you sleep with the girl in the picture?" JR listened to the first part of his mother's response and felt a little guilty, he knew he'd hurt Sue Ellen with his actions, but it had been weeks since she'd found out and left town, so if she was still this upset, he'd greatly underestimated the extent of the effect his actions had had on her. The second part of her response just annoyed him though, because he had absolutely not slept with the congressman's daughter, he hadn't even spoken to her for more than five minutes, but somehow the press had spun it into a much more dramatic story than it really was, one that had hurt his wife's feelings and made their situation worse.

"Damn! Is that what she thinks?" he sighed and then spoke seriously, "mama, I did not sleep with that girl; that photo was an obligatory press photo, I work for Ewing Oil and that means mixing with a lot of people, including politicians and their families. It was no big deal; the press just like to make drama where there is none". He shook his head and sighed to himself, things really were complicated right now; not only did he have to apologise for the lying and cheating that was actually his fault, he now also had to apologise for things that were really out of his control and were completely innocent actions on their own. Miss Ellie sighed, she believed JR, but what she believed and what Sue Ellen believed were two completely different things and in Sue Ellen's emotionally clouded state, she wasn't thinking very clearly or logically, so just hearing JR deny sleeping with the woman may not be enough. In fact, Miss Ellie feared that if Sue Ellen was in a particularly bad place, hearing him deny it may just bring up bad memories and upset her even more. "Ok, I understand, but please JR, if she says anything, please don't get angry with her, she's a very confused young lady right now", she sighed to herself again as she gave him a quick rundown of their conversation this morning. She decided that it was better for JR to have some idea of the context of his wife's behaviour and emotions rather than going into the conversation blind, because it was clear from experience that even when they spoke to each other, they still ended up missing the point and not communicating very clearly with each other.

A few hours later, JR stood by the window, staring out over downtown Dallas; at his father's request, he had taken the day off work to come here and fix things, but so far, all he had done was listen to his mother explain the severity of the situation and watch Sue Ellen sleep. His mother had kept repeating that Sue Ellen was a confused young woman, but in her analysis, it appeared that she hadn't even stopped to consider his feelings in the whole situation; he was just as confused as Sue Ellen was and his feelings were made worse by his lack of friends and the conflicting parental expectations placed upon him. When he was with his father, his mindset was very much one of tough love; he would do whatever it took to get his wife and child back on Southfork and her feelings about the matter really didn't matter in the short-term. However, when he was with his mother, he held a more empathetic, human view of the situation, one where he wanted his wife to come back because she forgave him and was willing to give him a second chance, not because she had no other choice. He knew that the situation was his fault and it was his responsibility to fix it, but just once, he would have liked someone to be on his side. He, like Sue Ellen, had no real friends, but in a way, he was jealous that at least she had his mother to speak to, something he had never had; Miss Ellie was someone Sue Ellen could express her vulnerabilities to, someone who would listen to her and validate her feelings and actions. In contrast, JR had no one, not his mother, not his father, not Bobby or anyone else; no one was on his side, and selfishly, he thought that that was rather unfair. Even if he knew that it was his own fault for alienating himself from forming any real friendships or having anyone sympathise with his situation, he still felt somewhat gypped, as if someone had taken the opportunity away from him and was punishing him unfairly.

As conflicted and annoyed as he was about the whole thing, as he stared out the window, the biggest emotion he felt was regret; everything in his life was terrible right now and in a way, it was all of his own doing, so really, he had no one to blame but himself. The thrill and freedom of being with other woman was really only enjoyable in the moment, because their trysts never lasted and in the end, all of his actions caused more harm than good, so it really was all for nothing. His mother had been right when she reprimanded him about the way he treated Sue Ellen; he took her for granted and then when she was gone, instead of realising his mistakes, he blamed her and still couldn't see that it was his actions that drove her away, at least not until it was much too late. In his heart, he knew that if he had just been a better husband, then they could have avoided so many of the negative things in their lives. Sue Ellen just wanted the simple fairy-tale life that she had been conned into thinking that she would live as Mrs JR Ewing, and if he had just stuck to his marriage vows and kept her best interests in mind, then she could have had that life. He knew what he had to do, but knowing it and actually doing it were two different things. He could make all the promises in the world, act like the best husband he knew how to and honestly change his behaviour, but it would all be for naught if Sue Ellen wasn't prepared to accept his apologies and changes, forgive him and move on with their lives together. He sighed to himself and turned around as he heard his wife gasp, it was an unmistakeable sound and if he knew her as well as he thought he did, she was both surprised and confused to see him and although anger was present somewhere inside her, it was not the main feeling she was currently expressing. Perhaps he did have a chance at forgiveness, at least a small one.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: They talk in the next chapter, I promise. Combining the scenes made the chapter much longer than a standard chapter, so I decided to just end this chapter here and continue the scene in the next chapter.**


	218. Heart-to-heart

**Dallas, Texas**

"Wh…what are you doing here JR?" Sue Ellen's voice was shaky and confused as she awoke from her nap; the first thing she had expected to see was either an empty room or her mother-in-law, not her estranged husband. "How did you get in?" she asked JR and then turned toward Miss Ellie, shooting her a questioning look as if to ask whether she was the victim of some elaborate plan, one where Miss Ellie really wasn't on her side at all. JR knew his wife, she wasn't just confused, there was something more, she was scared, "I'm sorry if I scared you darlin'. I came to apologise and to explain", he paused for a moment before he continued to speak, "mama didn't know I was coming and I didn't know she was here, she just let me in when I knocked". He felt the need to explain that his mother wasn't involved, he needed his wife to have someone she could trust, because he knew what it was like to not have that. Coming out of her sleepy state and processing his words, Sue Ellen sat up and nodded at her husband, "ok", she whispered as she got up and walked over to pour herself a glass of water. She didn't really know how to respond to his words because of course she wanted to hear an apology and explanation, but at the same time, she wasn't entirely sure how much more he could say and whether it would actually make her feel any better. She'd already heard his apologies, explanations and and empty promises to be a better husband and even though they were the things she wanted to hear, they hadn't made her feel any better. She couldn't really explain what she wanted from him, because she knew that for him to prove that he was being honest and she could trust him, then she really had to forgive him and give him a second chance, but she wasn't really sure that she was ready for that.

She was able to think rationally enough to know that keeping her distance from him wasn't a permanent solution though, especially not for much longer, not now that she was pregnant and their child was due in just a few short months. The reality of their situation was that even if she decided that she couldn't forgive him and couldn't be married to him anymore, they were tied to each other for life and she knew that it wasn't practical or fair to their child to be hostile or indifferent toward each other because their child deserved so much more than that. They had spoken extensively during the time they were dating, their early marriage and even in her early pregnancy, about the kind of life they wanted for their child and the kind of parents they wanted to be as well as the kind of parents they didn't want to be. Their child deserved everything its parents hadn't had during their own childhoods and for both JR and Sue Ellen, that really meant having two parents who unconditionally loved their child, but for Sue Ellen especially, it also meant having two parents who loved each other and made it known that they loved each other. She had only a few memories of her own father and many of those were tarnished by her mother's commentary after he had left them, commentary that was less than complimentary; she had made herself a promise a long time ago that she would never speak of her child's father the way that her mother spoke of her father. JR had had a different life to her, he'd had both of his parents present in his life and they were happily married, however she knew that although Jock and Miss Ellie loved each other, they had failed to adequately show their eldest son that they loved him and their actions had had a very strong, damaging effect on JR. She and JR had discussed it before, neither of them wanted to end up like their parents and if she was honest, right now, she was heading straight toward becoming her mother, a woman who relied on her husband financially and only financially and never let anyone forget it. Sipping her glass of water, she looked at Miss Ellie and then at JR, she was ready to listen and she was ready to try to work things out. Even if it was going to be uncomfortable and unpleasant in the short-term, it was what was best for their baby and what was best for their future as both individuals, a married couple and as a family unit, and she was willing to try for the sake of those things.

Miss Ellie hung back and removed herself from the situation, standing on the opposite side of the room as she made the decision to let JR and Sue Ellen to attempt a rational, adult discussion without her assistance; however, she was still present in case things started to get out of line. Sitting opposite each other in the small living room area of the hotel suite, Sue Ellen waited for JR to speak. She had a few things she wanted to say to him, but for some reason, she found herself silenced by her insane need to be socially polite, to speak only when spoken to and to remain cordial until the time arose where he changed the tone of their conversation. Observing his wife, JR noted to himself that she appeared to be nervous, though it didn't surprise him, he was rather nervous himself; this really was his final chance for forgiveness and to save their marriage. He knew that if their conversation today ended with him leaving without her and their relationship still not in a good place, then they would never get another chance, because his father would alienate her forever when he fulfilled his promise to bring her back to Southfork upon JR's failure to do so. Clearing his throat, he decided to just say what he was feeling, it couldn't make the situation any worse, "I know you don't believe me when I say it, and I don't blame you for feeling that way, but I wanted to say it again and I hope that you'll believe me when I say that I am sorry". He paused for a moment to regather his thoughts, in his mind, it had sounded a lot better and more convincing, but aloud, he understood why she was cautious about his apologies, they were so hollow and impersonal, though he never meant for them to be that way. Sighing frustratedly to himself, he found himself willing her to speak, even if it was something he didn't want to hear, he needed something to base his words on because his own mind was failing him right now.

Sue Ellen sighed to herself too, she felt silly for expecting anything more from JR than what she'd already received; the way that he was and the way that she wanted him to be were two completely different things and she felt as if she had set herself up for failure when she hoped for more. From across the room, Miss Ellie stood observing the situation; things between the couple really were more strained and difficult than she had imagined and she was beginning to wonder whether they were even capable of fixing their problems on their own. The way it appeared to her was that JR wasn't very good at articulately apologising and Sue Ellen needed and wanted more from him than she was getting, but neither of them was very good at clearly communicating their thoughts, wants or needs. Deciding that her intervention was required, she cleared her throat and walked toward the couple, picking up a chair from the small dining set, she set it down so that she was able to sit an equal distance between JR and Sue Ellen, because the last thing the situation needed was for her to appear to be taking sides. "Sue Ellen", she looked toward her daughter-in-law and spoke in a soft, calm voice, "why don't you start by telling JR what you told me, starting with how you felt this week, then, if you're prepared to, we can move back further". She thought that allowing Sue Ellen to voice her most recent feelings would be a good start, because the way she saw it, JR definitely remembered the past week and would be more capable of explaining some of his thoughts and actions in that time period. If they started with hard questions about the past, a past where there was a lot going on in the wider context of their lives, then it would be more difficult to pinpoint his thoughts and motivations and she feared that the conversation would end up going nowhere. Looking at Miss Ellie, Sue Ellen silently thanked her, it may have been an uncomfortable topic, but Miss Ellie's presence alone made it easier to talk about.

"…so you cheated because you could? That still doesn't really explain anything", an hour later, Sue Ellen was satisfied with JR's explanation that he had really been trying to give her her space this past week and that he hadn't forgotten about her or moved on. She also believed that he hadn't cheated on her since their separation, though that really wasn't something to brag about, it was what she expected a good husband to do. Moving on from the past week's events, she had begun to question his wider motives, the ones that were responsible for his intermittent infidelity throughout their marriage; it was difficult to answer the question of why he had cheated on her recently before getting a real explanation as to why he had cheated on her in the first place. The way she saw the situation, something had to have happened to make him want to cheat on her, because she could honestly say, she had never had the urge to cheat on him and she simply didn't understand his reasoning; just because he could do something wasn't enough reason to actually do it. She somewhat understood why he cheated while they were dating, she didn't like it, but she understood it, but they were married now and she didn't understand why he would need or want to seek physical affection from other women when he had her, unless she was the problem, though that's really not what she wanted to hear.

JR sat frozen as she questioned his motives, he didn't really know what to say in response to her questions; he had cheated because he could, but he had also cheated for reasons that he didn't want to have to explain to her, reasons that were more about his own thoughts and insecurities than they were about her. In his mind, he saw himself as somewhat sexually deviant, but he'd married a lovely, pure lady, one he didn't want to tarnish with his impurity. The kind of things a man did with his wife were completely different to the things he did with his mistress and it made sense to him that he would separate the two sides of himself. He'd even taken the necessary precautions to make sure that she was never negatively affected by his actions, however, he had completely underestimated her emotional awareness and how his actions could hurt her, even when she didn't know about them. To tell her that he had cheated simply because he could was a lot easier than explaining the complex thoughts that ran through his mind, because there honestly was no one reason for his actions. Part of it was purely about temptation and power, but the deeper side of it was absolutely about his personal opinions regarding marriage and the roles of a husband and wife. "I…" he looked Sue Ellen in the eye as he tried to voice his thoughts, but instead, he found himself silent, he simply didn't know how to tell her, because he couldn't imagine her ever really understanding his point of view. Sue Ellen watched her husband as he stuttered, she knew that there was something more was going on in his mind and she was determined to find out what that was, because they had actually made a little progress this afternoon and she wasn't ready to give up just yet.

To be continued…


	219. Progress?

**Dallas, Texas**

Observing her husband, Sue Ellen began to wonder exactly what was going on in his mind; JR Ewing was usually so articulate and strong, but right now, he seemed quiet and confused and she wondered what had caused him to behave that way. Endeared by his vulnerable side, she found herself softening toward him and changing her approach to the situation; she wanted to help him help himself because if she could get him to open up and really talk to her, then perhaps they had a chance of fixing their issues. It was obvious to her now that there was a lot more to his actions than just doing something because he could. JR Ewing was a man of complex thoughts and feelings, but he had never learned how to express his emotions in a healthy way; she wanted and needed to hear those things though and she was prepared to make a little effort of her own to find those things out, even if JR did make it difficult. "Let me rephrase the question, or I suppose, really just explain what I'm asking", she paused for a moment to look at him and then spoke again, "I was a cheerleader, I was Miss Texas, I was a model, and then I became Mrs JR Ewing. I never lacked attention, from both men and women, and I could have had any man if I wanted to, lord knows I've had more than enough offers and opportunities…" She knew that her plan could backfire and have a negative effect on her, because JR did have a jealous side, however, she was prepared to try anything to get him to talk openly. "I think you already know this, but I have always been faithful to you; during the time we were dating and during our marriage, I have never willingly succumbed to the advances of another man, and as for unwillingly, you personally dealt with any man who came near me, whether it was with completely platonic intentions or not". She vaguely referenced the fact that she knew of his tendency to investigate the people she interacted with, though she didn't elaborate because that really wasn't the point of their conversation. JR looked at his wife as she spoke, unsure of where she was heading with her thoughts and whether she was intentionally trying to annoy him by reminding him of all the men that could have had her, though most importantly, hadn't had her. "My point is, you know for a fact that I have been faithful to you, not just because you made sure that I was, but because I wanted to be. I want you to understand exactly why I'm upset and confused by your actions. I was always there for you and you knew that; you also knew that if I had wanted to or been any less of a lady, then I could have easily not been there for you, both physically and emotionally. But I was, and do you know why?" she paused for a moment for emphasis before speaking again, "because I love you JR. For me, there is no other man that could take your place or that I would want to take your place. So I ask you this, why didn't you love me enough to want to be faithful to me? What did I do wrong? Because I know you say that it was all you and nothing to do with me, but that doesn't make sense, because just because there are other women there for you to have, doesn't mean that you automatically want them or have to act on your desires. I don't understand why you felt that it was necessary to be with other women when you had me. It must have something to do with me, because it simply doesn't make sense otherwise", she felt herself tearing up at the thought of not being enough for her husband, because to her, he really was enough and it felt awful to think that they were on totally different levels of affection and understanding.

Feeling trapped in the conversation, JR was unsure of how to respond; she was right, indirectly it was about her, though it was more to do with her being his wife and a true lady than her as a person. He could honestly say that he loved her and enjoyed being with her, physically and emotionally, so it had nothing to do with her personally, it was really all about the way his own personal belief system worked and how difficult it was for him to see things in any way other than his established perspective. He didn't really know how to tell her that though; he didn't want to hurt her any more than he already had and to be honest, he wasn't sure whether he could even change the way he thought about the whole situation, so he saw no real purpose in explaining everything to her. On top of his beliefs, there was the more obvious explanation, the one that he had already told her but she didn't seem to understand. Simply stated, he had less self-control than she did and it didn't come naturally to him to just be friends or acquaintances with a woman without some kind of attraction or need to conquer; he was a natural philanderer and sometimes his instincts got the better of him. He found himself speechless, neither of his explanations sounded good and he knew it, so it was difficult for him to be questioned about his motives and expected to give a convincing answer, because he didn't really have one. "Darlin', I love you and I know it may not make sense to you, but it's because of the love and respect I have for you that I did what I did", he gave her a vague explanation and immediately regretted it. From the look of devastation on her face and the tears running down her cheeks, he was sure that although his comment was well intentioned and was made without malice, she found no comfort, only anguish in his words. Stuttering through her tears, Sue Ellen spoke, "you're right JR; that makes no sense to me and I don't understand it at all. You cheated and lied because you love and respect me? How does that even begin to justify or explain your actions? Husbands who love their wives don't intentionally do things that will cause their wives pain, they just don't".

She continued to cry before she regained her composure and decided to ask him directly, "give me an example, a real example of a situation where you did what you did because you loved me, not because you're a selfish bastard". She was just about done with giving him a chance to voice his feelings and explain, because with every word he said, his explanations got more confusing and ridiculous; nothing he said made sense and she began to wonder whether he was deceptively hiding something from her or whether he genuinely didn't know how to explain. First he said that he cheated because he could, but it had nothing to do with her, then he said that he did it because he loved her and now she was just confused, because the two things were very different motivations. JR looked at his wife as if she were crazy for asking him for an example; personally, he would never want to hear the details of her and another man, so for her to want to hear about him and another woman seemed ludicrous. Self-consciously, he was also aware that his mother was sitting just a few feet from him, silently observing their conversation but not saying anything; he had never even imagined having to sit down and explain his indiscretions to wife, let alone having to do it with his mother present as well, and the reality of the situation was embarrassing. "JR?" Sue Ellen watched him as a panicked look crossed his face and she grew impatient as he stayed silent, "I'll make it easier for you; name one thing that you get from other women that you don't get from me? Because I am at a loss as to how your actions aren't impacted by my shortfalls or only happen because you love me. One example, that's all I ask", she knew she was probably setting herself up to be hurt, because she tried to be the best wife she could be and it would be devastating to be told that her efforts weren't good enough for him, but she needed to know. Gulping, JR felt guilty and dirty as he mentally imagined all of the things that other women did that his wife would never do; he couldn't tell her that he liked things like that though, she was a true lady and her ladylike temperament was the exact reason why he kept those things a secret. His secrets were supposed to be just that and he hated that one little drunken mistake had ruined his whole life. "That's what you don't understand darlin', my actions have nothing to do with your shortfalls and everything to do with my shortfalls. As you said earlier, husbands who love their wives don't intentionally do things that will hurt their wives; you're my wife and I respect you too much to ask you to do the things that other women do for me because those things aren't ladylike, proper or delicate like you are. Does that explain anything?" he hoped that his vague, but also somewhat specific explanation was enough to satisfy her because it was just about as far as he was willing to discuss it.

To be continued…


	220. Revelation

**Dallas, Texas**

Standing up and walking across the room in frustration, Sue Ellen didn't know what to say to him; he had obviously thought about it a lot, but from what she could tell, he had never once stopped to consider how she actually felt, not just how he assumed she felt. "Corpus Christi; the sixth day of our honeymoon; sometime during the first week back at Southfork after our honeymoon; almost every time that you came home from work angry or upset; the lake house for our wedding anniversary…" Turning around as he walked toward her, she began to throw random phrases at him and for a moment, he had no idea what she was talking about, though as he remembered some of the specific events, he began to catch on. "Did I seem upset or damaged by any of those events? You don't seem to understand; I love you and I want to make you happy", she sighed and continued to speak, "I'm not made of glass JR, I won't break if you are the tiniest bit rough with me. I'm also not always concerned about being proper; sometimes I just want to enjoy being with my husband, and to be honest, that doesn't always mean slow and gentle. I would have thought that from experience, you could tell that I didn't hate those things, not at all, because from the way I remember it, some of our best moments were also the most 'improper'. I know it might seem unbelievable to you because you have some strange idea that I couldn't possibly like or want things like that, but honestly, that is the furthest thing from the truth. Take a moment to think about all of the situations I just mentioned; I have never once been offended by the way you treated me in the bedroom, except on occasions where you made me feel dirty or and wrong for wanting to please you. You were always the one that felt and acted guilty about anything slightly out of the ordinary, but up until right now, I really didn't see how much it all affected you". She was mostly just upset about their huge miscommunication, because if he had honestly been going to other women for things that she was willing to do but he had made her feel guilty for wanting to do, then she didn't understand him.

"I'll tell you very clearly right now; I was pure when I married you, I entered into marriage as a naïve young lady, I had no expectations, I had no likes or dislikes, all I knew was that I loved you and I wanted to be with you, and I trusted that you understood that. I looked to you and wanted you to teach me how to be a good wife, how to please you…" she felt silly and vulnerable as she validated the things her husband considered dirty and improper. The biggest thing that made the actions dirty was the fact that he did them with any woman that crossed his path, not that he enjoyed them. "JR, look at me", she walked toward him and stood in front of him, suddenly feeling exposed, as if her words could make or break the situation, but she reasoned with herself that if she didn't make the effort to communicate with him, then he would never understand, because his opinion was pretty firm. "My whole life I was told that ladies acted in a certain way and liked certain things, and from the way you're speaking, you were raised with the same expectation of a gentleman. But you know what? That's silly. We're married, we can do whatever we want with each other, there are no rules that say we have to act a certain way when we're alone, especially if that's not how you or I like it. I don't condone you straying outside our marriage, but listen to me when I say this; I want to be with you and I want to please you. I love you and I hate that you think that I wouldn't accept that part of you, because I would and I do. I love you for you, all of you, not just the good parts. Please JR; please try to understand where I'm coming from and what I'm saying. For the sake of our child and our marriage, we cannot keep living the way that we have been, it's not healthy or right", she finished her speech and hoped that he at least somewhat understood what she was saying, because if he didn't, then she wasn't sure that they would ever get back on the right track.

Dumbfounded, JR stood and listened to his wife as she preached about her hidden preferences, though as he thought about it, he felt silly as he realised that those hidden preferences really weren't hidden at all. If he had paid the slightest bit of attention to her in the situations that she had mentioned, and not just thought about himself and his own guilt, then he would have seen that he was feeling guilty for no reason. She was right, she had never complained about the way he treated her in the bedroom and had never seemed unwilling or upset by his actions. It was all his doing, he was the one that had made everything seem dirty and wrong, not her; she had been the pure virgin when she met and married him and he had been so afraid of ruining her ladylike disposition that he had treated her as if she would break from the smallest show of passion. It wasn't that their sex life was bad, because it really wasn't, he could honestly say that when they were together, even if it was slow and gentle, he still enjoyed it and wanted to be with his wife in that way, but he felt stupid and annoyed at himself for being so closed off about other options. He had sought affection from other women for things that his wife would have been willing to do and wanted to do, but his stupid opinions and beliefs had gotten in the way of being able to see that. Deep down, he knew that even if they had been open with each other right from the beginning, he still would have had a hard time staying faithful to her, because he did have low levels of self-control when it came to women, however, with a more communicative relationship, they could have avoided a lot of the problems they had. "I'm sorry Sue Ellen. I've been so stupid", he paused for a moment as he looked down at her and studied her face; she was so young and beautiful and it seemed so wrong that she had tearstains on her cheeks; she shouldn't have had to shed tears because of the way he treated her, she deserved so much more than that. Gently brushing his thumbs over her cheeks to wipe away any remaining wetness, he looked her in the eye and spoke, "I wish we could go back to the beginning and start all over again. I wish I could have known back then what I know now, because if I had, I never would have done some of the things I did. You're such a wonderful woman and you deserve so much more than me, but I'm selfish and I don't want anyone else to have you, I want all of you, I want to be the man in your life, the only man in your life. I want to be your husband, lover and your best friend, but I know that I don't deserve any of that right now", he sighed to himself as he spoke regretfully and reflectively; he wanted his wife back and he was willing to try anything to improve their marriage, but it wasn't entirely his decision to make. "I messed up so badly and for that I am so sorry, I never intended for any of this to happen and I never would have made the same decisions if I had the insight to realise the impact of my actions. I can't change the past though, I can only apologise for it and I do, I am so sorry, I hope that you can see that. If you'll let me, I would really like the opportunity to show you how sorry I am and what a good husband I can be, because I promise, I really will try to be a good husband. I love you and I can see now how my actions in the past were bad for our marriage; I will never act like that again if you give me another chance to be your husband, the right way this time", he paused and then finished speaking, "please darlin', one more chance. I promise you won't regret it".

Being so close to her husband and listening to him speak, Sue Ellen finally felt the emotion she had been looking for in his responses; it seemed as if he finally understood why she was so upset and he was finally prepared to make some changes in the way he lived his life. "No more women?" she looked up at him, wide-eyed and hopeful, she wanted to believe him, but she didn't want to trust him too easily and then be hurt again; "no more women", he spoke honestly and optimistically, he wanted her to know that he was interested in making things work. "No more secrets, no more lies and no more ridiculous double standards. I mean it JR", her second sentence was a statement rather than a question, she needed to hear him agree to her requests; "no more secrets or lies, I promise. But darlin', I cannot make any promises about double standards, simply because you're a woman and there are always going to be a few double standards. I can however promise that I will talk to you and openly communicate with you about things that I see as problematic and I will not just go ahead and do something myself that I would never accept from you. I know better than that now", he grinned at her as if he was making a joke and she found herself smiling, though she was annoyed at herself for doing so, she didn't want him to know how close she was to giving him the second chance he was looking for. "You promise?" in an instant, she changed from happy and playful to sad and vulnerable, she needed to know that he was being entirely truthful, because she wasn't sure she could deal with this kind of situation again, it had almost ruined her this time. "I promise. I love you Sue Ellen and I want to show you that I love you. Please, one more chance, that's all I ask", JR usually hated begging, but in this case, he found himself meaning every word he said; it would be difficult, but he wanted to try. "One more chance. I love you JR and I want our marriage to work", she looked up at him again before moving even closer to him than she already was. Her physical attraction to him hadn't diminished at all and now that they were in a better emotional place, she was ready to resume their physical relationship, well, at least a little bit, she wasn't entirely sure she was ready to go all the way again, but she was looking forward to the new chapter in their lives. "So do I darlin', so do I", leaning down, JR cupped her cheek and tilted her face up toward him before he kissed her with all the passion he had been suppressing since her departure. So consumed in their own actions, neither JR nor Sue Ellen even remembered that Miss Ellie was still in the room and they definitely didn't notice when she stood from her watchful position, walked toward the door and quietly slipped out into the hallway, leaving the couple to continue their reunion, alone.

To be continued…


	221. Afterglow

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen grinned to herself as her breathing returned to a normal rate and she began to giggle as she looked around the living room from her position on her husband's lap, a position she'd taken a million times before, though rarely quite this intimately. It really was amazing what could happen when they just let go of their inhibitions and gave themselves to each other freely. In the moment, they'd been so into their actions and needing each other that they hadn't even made it to the bedroom before consummating their relationship, she had no complaints though, only compliments. In hindsight, she realised that she probably shouldn't have given herself to him so freely so soon because he had only just apologised, but honestly, she had been just as deprived, if not more, than he had for the past few weeks, and being pregnant, her hormones did not make willpower any easier. The reality was, what she probably should have done and what she wanted to do were two very different things and she was totally happy to not do the 'right' thing right now; she needed to listen to her own advice and stop feeling guilty about enjoying their conjugal rights. "What's so funny?" JR enjoyed that his wife was in a good mood, though after what they'd just done, there was no way she wasn't going to be in a good mood, he certainly was; "nothing, not really. I was just thinking about all of those times when we were dating when we couldn't take our relationship any further; we spent a lot of time in this position, though not quite in this state of undress", she giggled as she looked down at their unclothed bodies. "If I had known then what I know now, I'm not sure I could have held out as long as I did". She spoke in a joking manner, she never would have actually given her virtue to any man that wasn't her husband, it just wasn't who she was, but she did feel bad for her past-self, she really had no idea what she was missing out on.

JR winced at the memory of her insistence that they wait until marriage before taking their relationship any further, he'd had more than a few uncomfortable evenings during that time, "that was all your doing darlin'", he grinned as he spoke, "I happen to remember a number of times where you were presented with the opportunity…" His words trailed off as they made eye contact again and his thoughts were suddenly clouded by his deep attraction to her, leaving him speechless for a moment; brushing a small piece of hair out of her eyes, he leaned up slightly and kissed her gently. Pulling away after a moment, he spoke softly, "I love you Sue Ellen", his words were simple, but powerful and as much as she didn't want to completely forgive and forget, she found her resolve melting, willing her to give him everything, because she loved him and it had been much too long since she had felt his love. "Make love to me JR", her request was simple and to the point, but it meant a great deal to him, no longer were their actions fuelled by the passion of the moment, now they were consciously making a decision to be together, "it would be my pleasure". As he moved his hands from her face to her thighs, Sue Ellen wrapped her arms around his neck and made sure her legs were securely around his waist as he moved to stand up, picking her up and carrying her into the bedroom.

"JR's late", Jock Ewing looked at his watch and then moved to pour himself another drink as the family gathered in the living room for cocktails. Miss Ellie had given him the condensed version of the day's events and she seemed confident that JR and Sue Ellen were on the right track again. So naturally, after the talk he and JR had had yesterday, he had expected the couple to return home as soon as possible, because JR knew how anxious he was to have Sue Ellen and his grandson back on Southfork. "I don't expect he'll be home for dinner. He and Sue Ellen are on good terms again, but they still have a lot of personal issues to resolve before they're completely whole again. They'll be back on Southfork by Sunday like you asked, but I doubt they'll be here tonight", Miss Ellie tried to word her comment as if she really believed that they were sitting in Sue Ellen's hotel room and discussing their issues like adults, however, she knew better than to believe that. She had seen and heard a lot more than a mother wanted to know about her adult son's life and although she had brought a lot of it upon herself by playing mediator, and it had been rather insightful, she didn't want to dwell on the thoughts, those things were JR and Sue Ellen's business now. She did however find her husband's comments a little demanding and ridiculous; he'd told JR to bring Sue Ellen home, but he'd also told him to make up with his wife, exactly what JR had and was currently still doing. If Jock had stopped for a moment to consider JR's perspective and feelings, then he probably would have understood why he wasn't home right now; he didn't though, and in response to his wife's announcement, he made a few grumbly remarks about the family sticking together and his son obeying his orders. Miss Ellie sighed with relief when Teresa appeared in the doorway, cutting off his rant with the announcement that dinner was ready; it wasn't that she disliked her husband, but his comments were petty and ridiculous. JR and Sue Ellen were a married couple who had been away from each other for weeks, it was only natural that they would want a little time to get reacquainted before returning home, so if Jock didn't like it, then tough, because it wasn't his decision to make, and it was a silly thing to get upset about.

Gently running his fingers along her side, from her shoulder, down her arm, to her hip and to the top of her thigh, appreciating each little curve of her body and the softness of her skin, JR found himself honestly regretting a lot of his past actions. His wife was now quite visibly pregnant and it saddened him that he had missed out on part of that experience, especially since they could have avoided most their problems if he had just had a little more self-control and had been a little more understanding toward her wants and needs. Their afternoon had been thoroughly enjoyable; they hadn't done a lot that would be considered particularly adventurous in the grand scheme of things, but what they had done was a welcome change from the conservativeness of their old sex life. Their somewhat cautious actions of the day were partially due to her pregnancy and being unsure of what was completely safe, but mostly it was simply because they'd only just realised that they could do other things together without it being 'wrong' and they were still coming to terms with that realisation. As they lay spooning together, silently satisfied and completely comfortable with each other, JR absentmindedly ran his hand along her body, causing Sue Ellen to gently curl closer to him as she began to relax and eventually, she fell asleep, JR following shortly after.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thanks for all the recent reviews, they're much appreciated and I'm glad you're enjoying the story :)**


	222. Evening Alone

**Dallas, Texas**

Awaking later in the evening, slightly disoriented, it took Sue Ellen a moment to realise where she was and what had happened. As she lay still in bed for a moment, she began to return to reality and place her memories in context; she remembered everything, her heartbreak of the morning, Miss Ellie's visit, her emotional exhaustion induced nap and then JR's visit and their discussion. What she remembered most vividly though was the eventful and thoroughly enjoyable afternoon she'd had alone with JR. It was somewhat unfortunate that in the two years they had been married, she could still count on two hands how many times they'd simply spent the afternoon together in bed. For the most part, in those two years, she had been quite a happy young lady, so to think that she had been missing out on a huge part of JR's love and attention simply because she was just that, a lady, was hard to deal with. They had made a commitment to a new start though, so she tried not to dwell too much on the sad parts of their former marriage and instead, she looked forward to the future, a future where she was about to have everything she had wanted when she first married JR. She had always wanted to please him and had tried her hardest to be the best wife she knew how to be, but it'd still taken them almost two years to figure out that there was more to their marriage than just playing the lady and the gentleman and they were allowed to do whatever they wanted with each other. Their newfound awareness and understanding was an exciting thought though, no matter how late it was.

From her discussions with Miss Ellie and her time alone, Sue Ellen realised that she had to have more to her life than just JR though, she had to be her own person, not just Mrs JR Ewing. So, although she was going back to him and she was happy to be going back to him, she was determined to take that advice to heart and actually have a life of her own, one where she had an identity outside her role as JR's wife. Thinking about what it was that she wanted to do, she found herself considering all of her past activities. She genuinely did miss the DOA, she liked helping people and being a part of something, so she would definitely start attending meetings again when she returned to Southfork. She liked tennis and horse riding too, but her doctor had recommended that she not do anything too physically demanding or dangerous during her pregnancy, so she had stopped months ago. She also missed modelling, but she had shelved that for now, though not because she really wanted to, the harsh reality of the industry was that even if she wanted to, she was no longer able to just be a model, she had been out of it for too long and it wasn't an easy thing to get back into. Although none of her previous activities would automatically give her a fulfilling life, she still liked the idea of having something to do with her time; it didn't particularly matter to her what that something was, she just didn't particularly want to go back to the monotony her old life. There was one huge change coming in their lives though, one she was prepared and excited for; in just a few short months, she and JR would be parents and she would fulfil her longtime desire to become a mother. Even if she had no solidly planned activities outside the home, her child was reason enough to keep living and she was motivated to improve her life and circumstances for the sake of the baby. As her mind moved toward the baby and then by coincidence, the baby began to move a little, she suddenly realised that she had awoken for a reason, and gently slipping out of bed, careful not to wake JR, she walked into the bathroom.

Physically and emotionally exhausted, JR was pretty much dead to the world from the moment he fell asleep hours earlier and he really only began to awake when the smell of food filled the air in the bedroom. "Steak?" he spoke in a tired, groggy voice and willed himself to open his eyes, though he was pleased at what he saw when he did; "mhm. Medium, not medium-rare, not medium-well, just medium", Sue Ellen smiled at him and repeated his predictable and demanding order before she leaned down from her seated position next to him and kissed his lips lightly. JR grinned to himself and began to really wake up as she spoke and then kissed him, "a beautiful woman and a good meal, what more could I ask for?" Sitting up, he gave her a proper kiss before turning his attention toward the food, his stomach grumbling as he looked at it and thanking him as he took a bite. Falling into an easy, casual conversation as they ate, Sue Ellen was fairly comfortable and relaxed, but she did have a few nagging thoughts in the back of her mind. There were a few things she needed to ask JR before they completely resumed their relationship, things she really should've asked him before she allowed him back into her life so intimately. However, foolishly, she hadn't asked him and they'd already done the one thing that her doctor had warned against, so if he gave the wrong answer when she did ask him, there really wasn't much she could do about it now. She was annoyed at herself for being so caught up in the moment that it had slipped her mind, but she found another part of her mind defending her actions, because as much as she had been told by her doctor, it simply wasn't a natural thing for her to think about before being intimate with her husband. JR was the only man she had ever been with, so she never thought of contraception as something that she required for protection, and although the primary focus of their marital activities had been on loving each other, conceiving a child was a secondary aim, so they had never discussed nor used any kind of preventative measures. It honestly wasn't a reality in her life, so to forget to raise the subject earlier was an honest mistake, though it wasn't one she felt that she could simply ignore now that she was thinking about it; the potential consequences were too great to just pretend they didn't exist.

Finishing their food, JR set aside the tray and moved his attention back to Sue Ellen, telling her he loved her before kissing her, intent on showing her how much he loved her and how sorry he was for letting her go. He was conscious of wasting time, they'd already been apart for much too long and he didn't want to waste the opportunity that he had right in front of him. "JR?" Sue Ellen felt herself melting into him again and feared that if she didn't say anything now, she'd end up feeling like an idiot again afterwards, "mhm", JR wasn't particularly interested in talking, but he wasn't going to tell her to be quiet, he wasn't going to risk her getting mad at him now. "Can I ask you something without you getting offended?" she managed to get her words out, but it wasn't easy, "mhm" he continued to kiss her as she tried to phrase her words, though it became more difficult as his kisses intensified. "Did you go and see a doctor after you read my note?" she was worried about her health, but mostly about his response. She wasn't entirely sure whether he'd actually experienced symptoms like she had or whether he was just a carrier, and if he was just a carrier, then she wasn't sure that he would have actually seen a doctor, especially if he was angry at her and didn't want to take responsibility for his actions. Abruptly, he stopped kissing her and pulled away to look at her, "good lord woman, you chose to ask that now?" he was frustrated at being interrupted this far into their activities, but he calmed himself down for a moment to answer her rationally, because getting angry with her honest question wouldn't do either of them any good. "I did, the good doctor gave me some pills and a long lecture and then sent me on my way", he sighed in shame and frustration, "now, you can call him if you'd like, though he probably wouldn't appreciate it right now, being after hours and all. Or, alternatively, you can choose to believe me and stop talking so we can resume our activities", he looked at her lustfully as he spoke; despite her annoying interruption, he was still deeply attracted to her and was in need of release. Enjoying the look in his eyes and feeling her equally attracted to him, Sue Ellen found it difficult to say anything other than yes, so instead of questioning him any further, she found herself kissing him back, accepting his answer and moving past the conflict. Her head told her that they had much more to discuss, but her heart and her body told her that their conversation could wait until tomorrow, because for now, they had much more important things to do.

To be continued…


	223. Homecoming Anxiety

**Dallas, Texas**

Checking out of Sue Ellen's hotel on Saturday morning, they took JR's car back to Southfork together. Although it was the more complicated solution to the two-car problem, JR insisted on having Sue Ellen travel with him and he would arrange for her car to be brought back to the ranch later by one of the ranch hands. He wanted to arrive home together, partially because he wanted to spend time with her and partially because he wanted their first appearance to the family to be one where they were together as a couple, not as individuals; it was what his parents wanted and it was what he wanted. Sue Ellen was happy to be going home, she really had missed Southfork and the Ewings; however, as JR got off the highway and began driving through Braddock, rapidly approaching Southfork, her stomach began to flip-flop. She was nervous and scared and she wasn't sure that she was ready to face the family again, not after she had lied and told them she was just going to her mother's house for a few days. She knew that Miss Ellie knew everything, because she had told her the whole story, but she didn't know how much Jock, Bobby or Lucy knew and she was afraid that they would be angry or annoyed at her for leaving Southfork so abruptly, without warning or explanation. As they drove, JR noticed the change in Sue Ellen's demeanour as they neared Southfork; she had been happy and easy to talk to when they had left the hotel, but their conversation had gotten slower and more difficult as they drove, eventually leaving them sitting in silence as they passed one of the outer boundaries of Southfork land.

Looking over at his wife's pale face and wide eyes, JR made the executive decision to pull off the main road, onto a smaller, dirt road; they obviously needed to talk and he would rather do it now than later at Southfork where everyone could hear them and would judge them for whatever it was that was wrong. Having lived there his whole life and having needed to get away from his parents every once in a while, JR knew all about the ranch, so he knew exactly where he was going, however, his unannounced detour was a little unnerving for Sue Ellen, "JR? Where are we going?" her voice was shaky and weak as she tried to hold her emotions together, it wasn't that she was scared or upset with JR personally, it was everything else that was the problem and his surprise change of plans just wasn't something she was particularly prepared for. Parking under a large oak tree, JR turned to look her in the eye, "you seemed upset and I was concerned; what's wrong darlin'? I want to help" he spoke gently and softly because in his previous experience, it was better to approach her kindly when she seemed upset rather than to demand answers from her. Sue Ellen was touched by his concern, it had been a long time since she had seen his caring, loving side just appear naturally, and seeing it now made her even more emotional than she already was, though it was a good emotion, not a bad one like her other feelings this morning. "Oh JR…" she began to explain her concerns about everyone's reactions to her return to Southfork and by the end of her speech, she was in tears.

"Shh darlin', I know for a fact that no one will be upset with you, everyone loves you and they're all looking forward to your homecoming. Daddy can be a little harsh sometimes, but he means well and he's really just excited about having the family together again; Bobby, I can guarantee that he will understand why you had to get away for a while; and Lucy, well, she'll forget all about your leaving after a few hours of you being home. You have no idea what it was like at Southfork over the past few weeks, everyone missed you and was asking about you. Do you know why? It's because they care about you. No one was upset or angry with you for leaving, especially not mama or daddy. I promise you, no one will be anything less than thrilled when we return home, together", he reassured her that her fears were unfounded and hugged her close to him when he finished speaking, a loving, caring husband was what she deserved and he was determined to give her nothing less than that. However, as he hugged her and dried away her tears, he did begin to question whether her statement the previous day had actually held any truth. She was so determined that she was a strong, unbreakable woman, not a delicate, fragile lady like he saw her, but right now, she was anything but strong. He didn't want to hurt or upset her with his actions, so her request that he stop treating her so gently was confusing to him. How could he treat her like he treated his other women if she was so emotionally fragile?

As JR spoke, Sue Ellen's tears lessened and stopped and as he hugged her, her breathing returned to normal, "I… I'm sorry JR, that was silly. I'm fine, really", she felt weak and stupid as she actually listened to his words, once again, she had convinced herself that her thoughts were real issues, but when it came down to it, they actually weren't and she was overthinking the situation. Drying her eyes and reaching into her purse for her small makeup kit, she touched-up her makeup and in just a few minutes, it was impossible to tell that she had been crying; "thank you JR. I needed to hear it from you", she leaned over and kissed him lightly before telling him that she was ready to go home. JR was confused about her outburst, because it was clear that she had genuinely been hurt by her thoughts, but she was ok now, so he didn't really know what to think. He decided to keep his thoughts to himself though, because she had acknowledged that her thoughts weren't completely rational, so he didn't think it needed a further discussion; however, he made a mental note to keep her emotional health in the forefront of his motivations; never again did he want her to be upset because of something within his control.

"Hello?" JR and Sue Ellen walked into what appeared to be an empty house and JR was somewhat disappointed, it was hardly the welcome home he'd had been expecting, especially after his father had made it sound so urgent that he return to Southfork with his wife as soon as possible. Taking Sue Ellen's hand, they walked through the living room, dining room and kitchen before stumbling upon Teresa who informed then that Bobby was out somewhere and Miss Ellie, Jock and Lucy were down at the stables watching Lucy practice her barrel racing. "That's odd, it's still winter, the Ewing rodeo is still months away", Sue Ellen made a genuinely confused comment and JR just laughed, "darlin', you've obviously been away from Southfork for too long if you think it's too early to be practicing. The Ewings are winners because of our hard work and dedication. While the rest of the contestants are enjoying the winter downtime, little Lucy is out there improving her skills little by little. By the time the rodeo arrives, she'll be miles ahead of the other girls and the ones that underestimated her last year won't know what hit them. Game plan darlin', game plan", JR grinned, he knew his father, if he was down at the stables watching Lucy ride, it wasn't simply because he wanted to spend time with his granddaughter, there was always a secondary motivation. "Now, shall we go upstairs and change into something less formal? As much as I'd like to take advantage of the empty house and spend the afternoon alone with you, that's going to have to wait until after we say hello to everyone, because I know they want to see you". Sue Ellen was intrigued by JR's explanation about the rodeo, though from what she knew of Jock Ewing, it did make sense, he hated losing almost as much as JR did, she didn't have much time to dwell on her thoughts though because before she knew it, JR was leading her upstairs to change clothes.

To be continued…


	224. Back to Real Life

**Dallas, Texas**

"Oh Sue Ellen, I'm so glad you chose to come home", Miss Ellie, Lucy and Sue Ellen walked back up to the house together, JR and Jock were a few yards in front of them, but they were having their own conversation, so it was almost as if they weren't really there. "Yeah Sue Ellen, it's nice to have you home. Uncle Bobby simply doesn't understand the basics of coordinating shoes and outfits and uncle JR is always so grumpy when you're not around", Lucy made a humorous comment and smiled at her aunt before she grew quiet again. She didn't want to admit it out loud because she didn't want to be seen as needy or attached, but she did like having Sue Ellen around, not just for her fashion advice and ability to calm JR, she liked her as a person and she was glad that she was home. Sue Ellen laughed aloud at Lucy's comments, but she was more curious about what she didn't say, because although she and Lucy hadn't been close in a while, during her time away, she did find herself missing every member of the Ewing family, even domineering-Jock and sometimes-obnoxious-Lucy. "Thank you Lucy; I'm not sure I can teach Bobby how to give good fashion advice, but I do plan to keep JR happy", she looked toward her husband and as if by magic, but probably just a strange coincidence, he turned around from his conversation with his father and looked straight at her. Although she had intended her comment in a general way, the moment she made eye contact with JR, all of her thoughts of how to please him and be a good wife to him turned into how she was going to fulfil his deepest desires. She blushed as his blue eyes stared at her and a small grin appeared on his face, it was as if he knew what she was thinking and agreed with her, and that thought was somewhat embarrassing to have in front of the family. She was pretty good at being obedient, caring and gracious, so she didn't particularly need to improve those wifely skills; their biggest issue was in the bedroom, and she was looking forward to the beginning of a new chapter in their lives, one where she didn't have to be a lady all the time. Looking from Sue Ellen to JR and then back again, Lucy rolled her eyes, they were back to that stage in their relationship again, the one where she was going to witness more PDA than she cared to. However, from experience, she wasn't totally dreading their new relationship development, because if JR and Sue Ellen were happy, then JR had less time to snap at her for silly things and she had more time to be the spoiled Ewing grandchild, a role which she very much enjoyed. Her time as the only Ewing grandchild was coming to an end, however, she wasn't too worried; she had her grandfather wrapped around her little finger and her grandmother was too kind to tell her she couldn't have or do things that she really wanted. She didn't expect her life to change too much in the coming months, she was already doted upon and she didn't foresee that changing anytime soon, especially since the new grandchild was just a baby and they would never be competing for the same things or the same kind of attention.

Arriving back at the house, JR groaned to himself when his mother invited Sue Ellen upstairs to look at the nursery furniture that had arrived while she was away; he was invited too, however, he chose not to go, partially because he'd seen it before and partially because he knew what he was getting himself into if he said yes. Knowing the women as well as he did, he knew that the furniture would not be the only topic of conversation and they would end up in a discussion analysing every little detail, no matter how insignificant it was, and then all of a sudden, their small tour of the nursery would end up being much longer than originally anticipated. He had seen the nursery a number of times and he thought it was nice, but he didn't understand the big deal about making every little colour, furniture item and accessory coordinate, especially since the baby probably didn't care at all what their bedroom looked like. He left the women to their chatter and made his way downstairs to make himself a drink and read the newspaper for a while. Selfishly, he'd been hoping that after their quick hello to the family, they could go off on their own and resume their activities of the previous day and earlier in the morning; it had been weeks since he'd been with a woman and now that he had his wife back, he wanted to take advantage of that. He realised now though that he wasn't the only person that had missed having Sue Ellen around and enjoyed her company, so instead of having her all to himself like he had at the hotel yesterday, he now had to share her. He didn't like the thought of sharing her though, because first and foremost, she was his wife, not Lucy's aunt or his mother's daughter-in-law. He honestly believed that as her husband, he should always have final decision-making power over her, however, he didn't dare say that right now, not around his mother, she was much too enamoured with his wife to let him make 'sexist' comments like that. Giving up on spending the next hour with her, but hoping for a little time later in the afternoon, he walked over to the bar, made himself a nice, large drink and then picked up the daily newspaper; if he was going to be alone, then he may as well spend the time wisely.

"Oh Miss Ellie", Sue Ellen gasped in surprise and delight as she walked into the nursery; she'd left in the midst of the decorating process and hadn't seen much of the significant progress that had been made in the weeks that she was away. No longer was the former guest bedroom simply just freshly painted and wallpapered, it was now an actual bedroom, fit for purpose. The furniture, decorative pictures for the wall, toys and other items she had helped select for the baby, but had only seen in the store or in a catalog were all here now and they had been set up perfectly, just as she had originally imagined. The clothes she had bought for the baby months ago and a few more that Miss Ellie had selected or they had received as gifts had been placed in the dresser, the non-perishable items such as diapers, bottles and pacifiers had been stacked and arranged in an orderly fashion, ready and waiting for the baby nurse to access. All that was missing now was the baby that the room was designed for, though Sue Ellen wasn't too eager for the baby to be here just yet, she wanted a healthy child and that meant being pregnant for a few more months before she could finally see her son or daughter, not just feel them moving inside of her. "It's perfect, I love it. Thank you", Sue Ellen felt herself getting emotional at the thought of having missed the experience of putting everything together, however she quickly reminded herself that Miss Ellie didn't like her doing much physical work anyway, so even if she had been there, she probably wouldn't have been the one arranging things. "You really like it? I know it's what we discussed, but anything you don't like, we can change", Miss Ellie was receptive to her daughter-in-law's moods and wants, she simply wanted her grandchild to be born into a happy marriage and a happy family, and if that meant changing a few things to please Sue Ellen, then she would do whatever was necessary. "No Miss Ellie, everything is exactly as we discussed and seeing it in person makes me even surer of my decision. It's a beautiful room", she paused for a moment as she wondered whether to apologise for her absence; she knew Miss Ellie wasn't upset with her, she knew everything that had happened and she understood why she had left, but still, Sue Ellen felt a little bad for leaving all of the hard work for her mother-in-law to deal with. Instead of verbalising her thoughts on the matter, she simply turned to Miss Ellie and hugged her, "thank you, for everything", her words and actions were loving and said more than enough and Miss Ellie knew exactly what Sue Ellen was getting at, so instead of opening the topic for discussion, she simply hugged her back. It was good to have Sue Ellen home and things back to normal again.

To be continued…


	225. Wake-up Call

**Dallas, Texas**

Awaking early on Wednesday morning, five days after returning to Southfork, Sue Ellen sighed to herself as she slid out of bed and walked into the bathroom. She was looking forward to having a baby and for the most part, her pregnancy had been going well and had been medically normal, however, she was ready to be done with the side effects. Her food aversions and mood swings had tapered off after the first trimester, but now, in the middle of her second trimester, she was full into the period of steady weight gain and the constant need to use the bathroom, two things that were both annoying and somewhat unpleasant. There were two more 'symptoms' that she had, however, they weren't necessarily bad things and she didn't dislike them the way she disliked the rest of the pregnancy side effects. Her anger and upset with JR over the past few weeks had temporarily quelled the desire she felt for him, but now that she was back on good terms with him and they were trying to start anew, she found herself wanting him more, more passionately and more frequently. Luckily for her, JR had no problem helping her fulfil those desires, especially since he had also been without companionship for weeks and had a few pent-up frustrations of his own. Much to her surprise, in the areas that she self-consciously saw herself as a little bloated and chubby, JR saw her as womanly and sexy, reassuring her and showing her that he especially enjoyed her new curves. He never verbalised it, but she knew that he was glad that her growing belly gave him a legitimate excuse to ask her to try different positions and techniques, because, for some reason, it simply wasn't enough for her to just assure him that he wasn't hurting her and that she wanted to try new things with him. She knew that they probably needed to work on their communication a little more, because her words weren't getting through to him the way she intended them to, however, she decided that it could wait for a little while, because things really weren't bad at all, they were simply different to how she had originally envisioned. Returning to bed, she gently lay back down next to JR and closed her eyes, it was only 5.30am, they didn't have to be up for another hour and a half, so logically, sleeping for a little longer seemed like a good idea. However, just because something was logical didn't mean that it was what happened, and after half an hour of tossing and turning, she finally gave up trying to sleep, instead, turning to face her husband and watching him as he slept, her third favourite thing to do when they were in bed together.

Resting in the realm between sleep and full consciousness, JR was somewhat aware of his wife's presence and actions; he could sense her tossing and turning and then her eventual watchfulness, and somewhere in his subconscious, he found himself drawn to her. "Sue Ellen", his words were faint and spoken sleepily and they made Sue Ellen smile, but as soon as he reached out to touch her, she found herself wanting more than to just watch him sleep, she wanted him. Kissing his cheek, neck and then moving down his shoulder and chest, Sue Ellen gently roused him out of his sleep, and catching him with his guard lowered and his excitement heightened, she made her move. The old Sue Ellen never would have done something like this, she was always a follower and never a leader in the bedroom, or anywhere else really, however with the recent developments and the understanding she and JR now had, she made a decision to be a little bolder this morning and make moves toward what she wanted. Disappearing under the covers and putting into practice everything she had read in magazines and had learned from her discussions with Paula, Sue Ellen quickly had JR's full, waking attention, and if the sounds escaping his mouth were anything to go by, she wasn't doing a bad job, especially not for her first time.

Finding himself awake and aroused, JR's mind moved quickly through a number of thoughts. First he was confused, because he rarely spent the whole night with women, so waking up like this was a novelty; then he was mistaken about his location, because if he did spend the night with a woman, then it was usually Julie, however, the way she performed was slightly different to what he was experiencing right now. Then, finally, as he fully awoke and realised that he was in his bedroom at Southfork and it was his wife beneath the covers, he didn't know what to think, though his mind was quickly made up. Very briefly, he felt that it was an action beneath her and it wasn't right for her to be doing that; then he felt a little guilty for allowing her to do such a thing and allowing himself to enjoy that she was. However, he soon remembered the context of her actions and the recent vows they'd made to try to improve their marriage; she was trying to be more open and daring and he needed to be an equal participant for that to work. It wasn't too difficult to do that though, not now that she was in the midst of trying her hardest to please him. Only moments after his train of thoughts passed through his mind at rapid speed, he discarded his prudish beliefs in favour of more current thoughts, ones that were not concerned about who was giving him pleasure or what preconceived notions he had about her, just that he was very much enjoying her actions.

Roughly and quickly throwing the covers back so that he could watch her, he found himself temporarily speechless at the sight of his wife. As much as he'd thought of her as a lady when they were dating, he couldn't honestly say he hadn't had this exact fantasy a million times before, and now, here she was, willingly doing this for him and looking incredibly sexy as she did. At first, Sue Ellen wasn't entirely sure what she was doing, because in this aspect, she was a virgin; so she was glad that she remembered as much as she did and was able to try to do the things she was 'supposed' to do. However, she eventually found herself abandoning the 'should' of the situation, instead, readjusting her actions according to the various sounds and facial expressions her husband made and not simply following whatever mental plan she had thought up prior to actually putting her thoughts into action. As her mouth tired and she grew more selfish in her own desires, she made an executive decision, she was the one that had started it, so technically, she was the one in control, and what she wanted was a little satisfaction of her own. Giving a final little bit of attention to her current task, she slowly made her way back up, kissing, touching and nibbling at various parts of his body, all the way back to his lips; "my-god you're sexy", JR barely had time to compliment her before she kissed him and then readjusted her position, causing him to groan. Rarely did he enjoy being the one that wasn't in control of the situation, but right now, he couldn't wait to see where she was taking them, because if the past few days were any indication, he would be a very satisfied man soon.

"Are you sure you've never done that before?" JR sighed contentedly to himself, pulled her closer to him and kissing her before simply holding her against him, gently stroking her hair with his fingers. He was in awe of her talents and desperately wanted to be the only man that had and would ever experience that side of her. However, the jealous part of his personality told him that she was too good to be true and that if she had tried to do that when they were dating, then she had probably done it with her other boyfriends too. Visualising his Sue Ellen in that position with Clint Ogden or Billy Frampton was enough for him to want to throw up; she was his and only his and even if she had been with those men before she had even met him, he still felt entitled to all of her. Sue Ellen heard his comment and wasn't sure whether to be offended or flattered; she wanted to think that he meant it as a compliment, but a big part of her knew that he was honestly questioning her and didn't necessarily believe that he was her first. "JR!" she quickly sat up so that she could look straight at him, "you are the only man I have and will ever do that for", she sounded hurt as she spoke and he suddenly felt bad for breaking her good mood. "I did what I did because I love you and I wanted to please you", she looked down at the sheets, not wanting to make eye contact as she spoke her final sentence, "were… were you pleased?" She genuinely seemed upset by his words and all of a sudden, he felt incredibly guilty, she had honestly had good intentions and they had both enjoyed her actions, up until the point where he ruined it with his idiotic comment. "Of course I was pleased darlin'. I love you and I love that we're able to do things like that", pulling her back down to him, he kissed her more passionately than he had just moments ago, "I'm sorry for upsetting you. I believe you and I'm very grateful to you for wanting to please me", he looked her in the eye as he spoke and hoped that his comments appeared sincere, because it honestly hadn't been his intention to upset her, the words had just slipped out. Listening to his words, she smiled, "thank you", she gave him a quick kiss to show him that she wasn't upset with him and then she snuggled back down in bed, content to just lay in his arms until they absolutely had to get up. Ordinarily she hated waking up early, but in situations like this, it was completely worth it.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Was that too sexual? Someone asked me a while ago whether I would write more intimate stuff and I was hesitant because to be honest, I wasn't entirely sure about my own ability to do that or how it would fit into the FF rating system. I did try to not be too explicit with this chapter though, but if it's too much, then the subsequent chapters can be edited slightly. I always like feedback, whether it's positive or critical, so I'd like to know what the general consensus is. Thanks :) ****Also, thank you for all the reviews of the previous chapters :)**


	226. Life Changes

**Dallas, Texas**

"Sue Ellen", Mavis warmly welcomed Sue Ellen back to the DOA and immediately brought her into the conversational group she was a part of; she knew more about Sue Ellen's absence than the other ladies in the DOA did, so she was trying to make an effort to include her and make her feel a part of something. The young woman had had a difficult few weeks and needed something to occupy her time, and she had exactly the task to suit those needs. "Clothes, books, toys, cosmetics, anything that the girls may enjoy; they don't have a lot, so anything we can give will be a welcome addition to their lives", Sue Ellen listened as Linda Bradley explained their newest project and she was excited to be included in the group, she really had missed being useful and wanted. The DOA was the perfect outlet for her desire to give as much as she took; with JR, it was difficult for her to give him anything that he didn't already have or have the ability to attain himself, so she was left trying to please him on a personal, emotional level rather than a material level. As a member of the DOA though, she got to work with people who were far less privileged than she was and had clear needs and wants; it gave her a purpose and a direction, she liked having something to focus her attention on. Throwing herself into the conversation, Sue Ellen took on the somewhat self-appointed role of chairwoman of the committee, though technically she was just a member, not the one in control; she simply enjoyed planning and thinking of how they were going to go about completing their task though and she got excited to have something to do. She enjoyed planning fundraising balls and dinners where the aim was to raise funds for a bigger project, but she also enjoyed shopping and putting together care packages; she really had missed being needed and wanted and it felt good to be back again. From across the room, Miss Ellie smiled with pride as she observed her daughter-in-law mixing and mingling with the other ladies; she knew all about the issues Sue Ellen held, ones where she often found herself lost and lonely, and it was nice to see that she wasn't always that way. She hoped that everything remained this good forever, because from the way JR and Sue Ellen had looked as they came down to breakfast, things seemed to be going well for them as a couple as well as individuals, and with their baby set to arrive in just a few short months, they were on the right path.

Sitting in his office, JR found it difficult to concentrate on his work for any decent length of time as his mind was filled with images of his wife; just when he thought he knew everything about her and was beginning to take that for granted, she came at him with new and exciting information. It had been a while since anything like this had happened to him and in his previous experience, it had never quite been this intense; but now, with the recent developments in their relationship, he found himself more enamoured with her than ever before. Looking over his calendar for the upcoming month, he noticed the two days in the middle of the month that had been highlighted in pink by his secretary, pink for personal commitments, not work ones. In just two weeks, it would be Valentine's Day and then their second wedding anniversary, and after making rushed plans last year and knowing how he felt about her right now, he knew that he had to do something big, something special; his wife deserved a treat. Scanning over his upcoming events and meetings, he made a few notes for his secretary; the important meetings could be rescheduled and the less important ones could be delegated to either Bobby or his father. Ewing Oil was important, but with the happenings of the past few weeks, he had a feeling that his father would understand his request for a few days leave; he had insisted that JR be a good husband and father and doing something nice for his wife was an action that directly played into both of those roles. He wanted his wife happy and healthy, because if she was happy and healthy, then their baby had a higher chance of being that way too. He knew Sue Ellen's desire for their marriage was for them to be closer and spend more time actually doing things together, not exclusively intimate things, just in general, she had expressed to him that she wanted their marriage to be about them and their family, not just entirely focussed on fulfilling their roles as husband and wife. She had enjoyed the way their relationship worked when they were first dating and then were first married; when they actually went out on dates and made time to simply just be together. JR knew that she craved the affection and attention that she received and was able to give when they were in a loving relationship and he wanted to please her and fulfil her desires, because now that he remembered how good they were together and the potential they had to be even better, he felt the same way.

Down the hall from JR's office, Jock was dealing with a whole other set of issues, namely, how to deal with JR from now on. He'd always known that JR had a less than ethical approach to business, he'd taught him a number of his tricks himself, however, he'd always emphasised that there was a time and place for his actions and that as well as succeeding in business, he had personal responsibilities, such as making sure that his wife was happy and satisfied. Happy, supportive wives were exactly what businessmen like them needed, their work was very demanding and adding a chaotic personal life to the mix simply wasn't a good idea and didn't benefit anyone in the long run. Jock understood JR's desire to be with other women and he understood him occasionally being with other women, because JR was a natural philanderer, he didn't necessarily condone it, but he understood it. Now though, he felt guilty for standing by and doing nothing with the knowledge that when JR was out of town on business, he probably wasn't spending his nights alone, because as harmless as it had seemed at the time, he hadn't recognized the bigger issue. What JR had failed to understand and what Jock absolutely did not approve of was the side-women JR had in Dallas and the negative effect it had on his wife and their marriage. He saw a difference between JR having a little fun while he was away or as part of a business deal, and JR simply neglecting his wife in favour of other women. He didn't really know all the details, but from what his wife had told him, it appeared that JR had forgotten that first and foremost, after Ewing Oil, Sue Ellen was supposed to be his number one priority. For months, he had just focused on his own needs, neglecting and upsetting his wife in the process, firstly hurting her by not being there enough and then with the knowledge that he hadn't been respecting their marriage vows the way she had. Jock was a male chauvinist and he didn't particularly enjoy having to consider a woman's feelings about a situation before making his own decisions, however, he loved his wife and he would never purposely do something that would cause her pain, directly or indirectly, so for JR to do so was something he disapproved of.

Jock felt a little responsible for the way JR had acted, partially because he'd taught him to use sex as a weapon and a bargaining tool, and partially because he had had the power to guide JR in a better direction and had really only done the bare minimum at that. He'd told his eldest son to respect his wife, to call her, to love her and to do things for her, but at the same time, he'd driven him to dedicate excessive time and energy to Ewing Oil, sending him to out negotiate deals, sort issues and keep up the good image of Ewing Oil with their associates. He had Bobby for a lot of the 'fun' work, the parties, the women, spreading the three B's, but some things really were best dealt with by JR, and having taught him to do things a certain way, he felt guilty and a little responsible for the whole situation. However, after his talk with JR and the visit JR and Miss Ellie made to see Sue Ellen last week, it appeared that things had changed for the better and were actually good between the couple now. Sue Ellen was back at Southfork and she and JR seemed to be in love and very much lusting after each other, sometimes a little too much for what he cared to witness, however, that wasn't the point, the point was, he was pleased with their progress and changed relationship and he wanted things to remain that way. He had meant what he said to JR last week, he wanted Sue Ellen happy to be his wife and he wanted his grandson proud to call JR his father. JR had to start treating his wife with more love and respect and that meant changing a lot of things that he did; there was no other way to go about it, it was what it was and that was final. The conundrum Jock was in now though was how to continue to get the best performance out of JR while also keeping him on the right path in his personal life. He wasn't sure that he could trust JR to do the essential social tasks that came with being the vice president of Ewing Oil; business lunches, parties, out-of-town events, spreading goodwill, he feared that the temptation would be too great and JR would find it difficult to control himself, especially after living his life a certain way for so long. However, Jock knew that he couldn't simply just have JR do nothing that involved social events and he couldn't just tell him to change his methods of operation, because JR had been doing things the same way for years and they worked well for him, so making any major changes now could be disastrous for Ewing Oil. It was a challenge Jock was willing to tackle though, because he would not allow JR to hurt his wife and child, it wasn't right and it wasn't acceptable; things had to change, he just had to figure out how to change them.

To be continued…


	227. Saturday Morning

**Dallas, Texas**

Grumpily leaving her bedroom and making her way downstairs, Lucy Ewing did something she hadn't done in a long time, she turned the television on and lay down on the couch to watch Saturday morning cartoons. She felt as if she was a little old to be doing this now, but honestly, it was preferable to remaining in her bedroom, a bedroom that unfortunately shared a wall with her uncle JR's room. She'd been young and naïve when JR and Sue Ellen first married, or maybe they'd been different; quieter and less obvious? She wasn't sure, but she was older and wiser now and with her aunt and uncle not appearing to understand the concept of filtering themselves, remaining oblivious to what was going on between the two was more difficult and unpleasant than it had been in the past, especially when they were in the next room. She was sure that she wasn't the only one who had noticed, because although Southfork was a relatively big house, the bedrooms were all fairly close together, so it wasn't as if a few extra feet was going to save anyone from hearing what they didn't want to hear. Lucy had a feeling that the rest of the family probably thought exactly what she did, but they were all too polite to say anything about it, because from what little she understood about the world, it wasn't exactly an appropriate topic of discussion in polite company. What she did know for sure though was that there was an empty guest bedroom down the hall on the opposite side from JR and Sue Ellen's room, and being the apple of her grandparents eye, she was sure that a few sweet words would get her the new bedroom she wanted, without having to mention the real reason. It wasn't exactly a permanent solution, because it didn't address the real issue, but it was a start and all she really wanted was a little peace and quiet.

Collapsing onto the bed, exhausted and satisfied, Sue Ellen tried her best to bring her breathing back to a normal rate, though as her mind raced through a repeat of their morning activities, she found herself giggling, an activity that didn't exactly promote steady breathing. Turning toward his wife from his position, half next to her and half on top of her, JR wondered what she was laughing at, "what are you thinking darlin'?" Blushing, Sue Ellen found herself slightly embarrassed about her thoughts, partially because she was still such a lady about some things, and partially because one of her thoughts really wasn't what she wanted to be reminded of when she was in bed with her husband. Looking him in the eye, she grinned at him and then kissed him, "I was thinking that I love you, all of you, and as much as I love when we make love, slowly and gently, it would be a lie to say that I don't also immensely enjoy this. So please, promise me that we'll never stop…" she may have enjoyed the activity, but she still didn't feel comfortable using the vulgar word that described a different kind of sex in comparison to making love. Looking at his wife, JR found himself smiling at her comments; it was amazing how she could switch from sexy to cute in a matter of seconds. He had underestimated her when he assumed that because she was a lady, she was prim and proper and would never enjoy anything that didn't fit into that category, because that was the furthest thing from the truth. "Oh, I promise", he felt giddy at the thought of having her, anytime, anywhere and in any way he wanted her; yes, she was just one woman and that wasn't really what he was used to, but she was a hell of a woman and she had yet to disappoint him, so he was looking forward to their future together. "Good", she giggled again and then found herself blushing even more at the second thought she had had earlier; "tell me…", JR prompted her, she wasn't exactly good at hiding her true feelings and something told him that she wasn't just pleased about his commitment, no, there was something else going on in her mind. "How…?" she wasn't sure how he did it, but somehow he always knew that what she said and what she was thinking were often two different things; "my mother, she would kill me if she knew that I just said that. She wouldn't approve of the fact that we're doing it and enjoying it, but that's not her business, however, she would make it her business if she ever heard me speak of things of that nature". She blushed again as she imagined it, her mother had barely even acknowledged that a wife could actually enjoy her duties, only that they were expected of her, whether she liked it or not. So she highly doubted that her mother would approve at all of her expressing such an enthusiastic response to her husband, or, god forbid, actually taking the initiative to change the way that side of their marriage operated when she saw a problem. Letting out a loud laugh, JR found himself amused by both his imagined version of telling Patricia that he deflowered her daughter in such a way, uncovering a side of her that wasn't always a prim and proper lady, and also by the fact that Sue Ellen honestly had had such a thought. For some reason, Sue Ellen often forgot that she was an adult, an adult who had been married for two years and was simply enjoying being with her husband; she really had no reason to feel guilty about what she was doing, and her mother was the last person whose opinion she should care about. "I won't tell if you don't", he grinned and closed the gap between them, silencing any further discussion; just because they couldn't dive straight back into their new favourite activity, didn't mean that they couldn't still enjoy being together.

In the midst of trying to convince her grandparents that to allow her to move to a new bedroom, Lucy paused her persuasive argument for a moment as JR and Sue Ellen appeared, shooting them a dirty look as they greeted everyone and sat down to breakfast, as if it was any other day. She thought that it was ridiculous for two seemingly aware people to be so oblivious to the fact that they were not the only people in the house and the walls were not soundproof, so whatever went on in the 'privacy' of their bedroom really wasn't particularly private. Politely greeting JR and Sue Ellen as they sat down for breakfast with the family, Bobby found it difficult to control himself as he noticed the look his niece was giving the couple, choking on his coffee as everything fell into place in his mind. In a moment, it all became strikingly clear that Lucy's request was not a coincidence and she was making a move to distance herself from something that everyone else was too polite to acknowledge. As much as he was amused by her argument, he was also surprised and impressed that the young girl had hidden her real feelings so well, because she wasn't known for staying silent about her thoughts. "Something wrong Bob?" JR didn't even notice the look Lucy was giving him, he never paid that much attention to her anyway, and when Bobby choked on his coffee, any attention that would have gone to his niece was now directed at his brother. "Hm? Uh, no, just a little tickle in my throat", he covered his actions with a casual excuse, and because neither JR nor Sue Ellen were aware of everyone else's experiences, JR didn't even think to dwell on the explanation, instead, moving on to simply eating the plate of food Teresa had placed in front of him, not questioning anything else. Observing the situation unfolding, Jock found himself amused; he wasn't aware of Lucy's real reason for wanting a new bedroom, but from the look on Bobby's face and his reaction to seeing his brother and his wife, he had confirmation that he was not the only person in the house that was completely aware of the couples actions. Miss Ellie hadn't told him all of the details about the visit she and JR had made to Sue Ellen's hotel room, just vaguely mentioning that they'd had a lot of issues to sort out and that when she had left, she was confident that they appeared to have come to an understanding. From the change in their behaviour as a couple though, he would have had to be deaf and blind not to come to the conclusion that a lot of their issues stemmed from problems in the bedroom, problems that they were now actively working to fix. Chuckling to himself, he mentally patted JR on the back, it had taken him a long time to realise it, but JR really had it all and if he made sure not to mess it up with selfish actions, life would reward him greatly. He knew that it would be a challenge for JR, but now that he was aware of the issues, Jock was working on his own plan to make sure that JR stayed on the right path. Finishing their breakfast, the family spilt up and went their separate ways for the day as they usually did on a Saturday; JR didn't really know what everyone else was planning to do and to be honest, he didn't particularly care, because today, he had a date with his wife. It was all part of their plan to rebuild their relationship and strengthen their marriage, because as great as sex was, it was only part of a successful marriage.

To be continued…


	228. We Need To Talk

**Dallas, Texas**

"Have a seat JR", Jock motioned toward the chair in front of his desk and JR cautiously sat down; he really had no idea why his father had wanted to see him privately this morning and now that he was here, he was a little worried. Walking over to the bar in his office and making two drinks, Jock returned and sat down, handing JR his glass before speaking; "I want to talk JR, about Ewing Oil and your future here…" JR suddenly felt ill, he'd expected the news of his promotion to president of Ewing Oil to be delivered in a much happier and more celebratory tone than the sombre, serious tone his father was currently speaking in, so the fact that he was speaking in such a way was a warning sign to him that something was wrong. "It's no secret that when I retire as president, you, being the eldest son and the current vice president, will assume the position; that was how I always intended it to be and that is how I intend for it to stay". He started off his speech by assuring JR that he wasn't intending to change the order of things, because he knew that JR had to be wondering what he meant by his original statement and the last thing he needed right now was to be dealing with an angry or irrational JR. "I'm not getting any younger and although there's no guarantee that Sue Ellen's having a boy, though I damn sure hope she is, if everything goes to plan, then you could be the president of Ewing Oil very soon. I'm not planning on retiring this year, or even next, but sometime in the future I know that I'll have to start taking a few steps back from the business, and when I do that, I want to know that I'm leaving my legacy to a man who will respect and honour the way we do things around here". He looked at JR as he spoke and then paused for a moment to regather his thoughts.

"Scandal is not good for business, so I'm going to require a few concrete assurances and guarantees before I make anything legal, because Ewing Oil is our livelihood and I will not have our reputation or profits damaged by your actions. I know that in the past I've not really enforced any boundaries around your behaviour, because, for the most part, nothing was ever bad enough for me to believe you really needed talking to, however, recent events have prompted me to think differently. You're about to become a father, your wife has just returned to you after a serious absence and if everything in my life goes to plan, you could soon be the president of this company and that's something I'm not sure that you're personally ready for just yet. Business wise, absolutely, but there's more to being the leader of a company than just good business skills. I know you've been trying to fix your marriage and I'm pleased with how that's been working out for you and Sue Ellen lately, however, it's not enough for me to just accept your word that you'll try to be a better husband and father, because that doesn't really guarantee anything. I need more than that; I need something to hold you to, something that is really going to make you think twice in situations where you may be tempted to deviate from the right path". Opening a folder on his desk, Jock pulled out a thick stack of stapled pages, "this is an updated version of your contract; I have had the lawyers amend a few things and add a new clause. If you agree to abide by the morality clause as detailed, then I guarantee that upon my retirement, you will become the president of Ewing Oil; I have had the lawyers remove the clause that made your position dependent on your parental status, specifically having a male heir ready and waiting. Ewing Oil is yours JR, as long as you live by a certain set of rules", Jock handed his son the new contact and waited for him to say something. He knew it was a risky move, but he didn't really know how else to handle JR; he had raised him to believe that power, money and Ewing Oil were the most important things in life, so he knew that to get through to him, he had to use those things as a bargaining tool.

JR was shocked at his father's proposal and was honestly a little unsure of how to react. On one hand, he was thrilled to have a written guarantee that Ewing Oil would be his one day, because he deserved it. On the other hand though, he was highly annoyed that his father was making his business success dependent on his personal success, because they weren't mutually exclusive; whether he was a good husband had nothing to do with his ability as an oilman and he didn't like the idea that his father was making moves to legally link them. It also annoyed him that despite showing that he could be a good husband, his father still didn't quite trust him and thought it necessary to take more serious steps to guaranteeing his good behaviour; he was really trying to be a better man, but it was difficult when everyone constantly expected him to be a bad person. "I understand", JR flicked through the contract. "Good. Well, that's all I had to say for today, unless there's something you wanted to talk about?" Jock politely gave JR an opportunity to voice his feelings before he dismissed him. "No sir; I'll read the new clauses and have my lawyer take a look at it and I'll get back to you in a few days. Does that sound acceptable?" JR stood and waited for his father to say yes and then dismiss him, he was just about done with this conversation. "That's fine", Jock nodded and JR took at as a sign to leave, standing up and walking out of the room, now with a lot of thoughts running through his mind. It shouldn't have been a difficult decision to make, because he had made a promise to his wife to be a good and faithful husband, however, making that commitment legally was a whole different story. If he messed up, then he would have no wife and no company and that was a thought that scared him more than he would ever admit.

"Miss Ellie?" Sue Ellen broke the comfortable silence as they drove back to Southfork from their charitable morning activity, one she had very much enjoyed. "Yes dear", Miss Ellie prompted Sue Ellen to finish her thought, she was pleased that Sue Ellen appeared to be a little more open with expressing her thoughts and feelings lately and she wanted to encourage her to keep doing that. "How do you think JR would react if I took that opportunity? It's not a real job, but it is more consistent and time-consuming than just being a part of the DOA", she had been mulling over the thoughts all morning, ever since the offer had been made to her. This morning, as part of their DOA activities, they had gone to meet with and deliver the care packages they had made for underprivileged teenagers and as part of that, they'd been offered a tour of the charity's facilities. Sue Ellen had enjoyed shopping for the items in the care packages and then seeing the joy that they brought the recipients; she liked shopping and she liked helping people, so it gave her great pleasure to be a part of something with such a purpose and then see her hard work pay off like that. As part of the tour of the building, they had been shown another department, one that was focused more on women than teenagers, more specifically, helping women to dress the part for the working world so that they could better themselves by getting professional jobs, allowing them to earn their own money and be self-sufficient. Sue Ellen had found herself drawn to the racks of clothing as they were shown a demonstration of what a dresser did; her fashion-oriented mind was quickly drawn into the process and she found herself enjoying helping the other volunteers to coordinate and sort outfits for the women they were assisting. Her enjoyment and talent hadn't gone unnoticed by the manager of the department and after only a half an hour of participating, she was offered the opportunity to join the team, strictly as a volunteer, but she didn't care, it wasn't as if she was one of the women that needed a paying job. She'd been thrilled just by the idea that someone actually liked her and valued her enough to want her to work for them and personally, if it were just her she had to think about then she would have agreed on the spot. However, she knew that she had other things to consider before she accepted the position, specifically, her husband and her child and the roles she played for each of them.

Miss Ellie smiled knowingly as Sue Ellen spoke; she'd had a feeling that that was what was on her mind, "well, first and foremost, I think it's a wonderful opportunity and I think if JR loves you the way he says he does, then he'll think so too. That's just my opinion though and I know that that's not exactly what you're asking, but I can't give you JR's opinion because I'm not him, so instead of trying to, I'll just say this; talk to him before you start stressing about it. Calmly approach the subject with him and explain why you want to do it because I have a feeling that he'll understand and be a lot more receptive to it if you approach the situation in that way. If you sit around thinking about it and exaggerating it in your mind, then when he does find out, it's going to end up being more of an elaborate story than the simple facts. Talk to him first before you start assuming things, you never know, he might just surprise you with his opinion", she smiled at her daughter-in-law and allowed her a few minutes to think about what she'd just said, hoping that when Sue Ellen considered everything, she decided to take her advice. "Mm, I suppose you're right, I do tend to exaggerate issues and put them off until they become bigger than they should be". Sue Ellen sighed to herself as she came to the realisation that a lot of the communication problems she and JR had had in the past were largely preventable if she had just said how she was really feeling in the moment instead of holding everything in. "For what its worth though, I don't see why he would have a problem with it, because as you said, it's not a 'real' job. I know that its more time consuming than just being in the DOA, but it's not a full time position; ten hours a week, that's comparable to taking up tennis again. You need something for you and I think this is perfect", Miss Ellie gave her a few more words of support and Sue Ellen began to feel a little better, though she was still nervous for some reason. She didn't know why she so desperately needed his approval, but she did and it scared her to possibly hear him express his opinion, one that was possibly negative. They were in such a good place right now, but she was damaged by her previous experiences and she was afraid of their marriage crumbling; she knew that there were a lot of reasons for him to say yes and approve of her decision, but the only thoughts running through her mind were ones related to JR's disapproval. They needed to talk, but she was scared of the consequences of that talk if things didn't run as smoothly as she hoped.

To be continued…


	229. Pushover

**Dallas, Texas**

"Darlin', Ewing women don't work, you know that…" JR sat down and looked at his wife confusedly; the DOA was a social organization as much as it was a charitable one, so he understood and supported her being a part of it, but this was different, this was an activity outside the DOA and it resembled a job more than Sue Ellen cared to admit. He couldn't pinpoint his feelings exactly, but he knew that he wasn't entirely comfortable with her taking the position that was being offered to her, even if it was unpaid and essentially just voluntary charity work. It was different to her wanting to find a hobby to fill her time; a book club, tennis lessons, horse riding etc., those things were all very clearly hobbies, things she did because she was the wife of a wealthy man and she needed something to occupy her time. The DOA was an expected and socially accepted form of work too, but he feared that if people found out that she was putting in hours at another organization, they might mistakenly believe that she was actually a paid member of staff and in his mind, that said something about his ability to support his wife. Realistically, no one would actually believe that JR Ewing, vice president of Ewing Oil, was unable to support his wife, but somewhere in his mind, JR wasn't thinking rationally and honestly believed that her decision to work would reflect badly on his reputation. On top of his feelings of inadequacy, he was also worried that in having another thing to focus her attention on, she would be less dedicated to him and their marriage and he didn't like that idea. They were finally in a good place and were working to establish a new routine in their marriage and he wanted to make the most of having her all to himself now, because in just a few months, her attention would be split between he and their baby. Having her attention split three ways didn't appeal to him at all and was something he didn't particularly want to seriously consider. As much as he had taken it for granted, he now realised that he liked being the most important person and thing in her life, he liked being the one she did things for and made decisions according to his preferences, and selfishly, he didn't want to give that up.

"I know that JR and I agree; I don't want to be a career woman, I like being a Ewing wife and I have no problem with you supporting me, but this is different. Do you remember when I used to ask you for approval about everything? You told me that although you appreciated that I wanted to please you, it was unnecessary and unhealthy for me to base my every decision around your wants and needs, because I needed to and was allowed to do things for my own happiness and satisfaction. For a long time, I didn't quite realise how true that was and it meant that I ended up in a bad emotional place, a place I don't want to return to. This isn't about me rebelling and trying to spite you and it's not about me trying to boost my ego, this is about me needing something more in my life than simply being your wife. I love being your wife, but during the day, when you're not here, I need something to focus my attention on. I've tried filling my time with different activities, but they all feel so empty and pointless when I finish for the day and realise that I achieved nothing of any significance; I usually return home feeling isolated and useless and I hate that. That's why I love being in the DOA, I get to meet people and our activities give me a purpose and a real sense of satisfaction; but we only meet twice a week and it's only for a few hours; the rest of the time, being Mrs JR Ewing means nothing to anyone. I cannot go back to living the way I used to live, I cannot just sit around Southfork doing nothing all day; I get lonely and bored when I have nothing to do and then it starts affecting our marriage negatively and I don't want that. I love you and I want to be the best wife I can be, but I know from experience that my best self is the woman who is involved in things and isn't sitting around waiting for her husband to come home, and I think that if you think about it rationally, you'd see that too. Do you remember when we were dating and I quit modelling because you asked me to? That was hard, really hard, because I gave up not only my work life, but my social life too; but I did it because it made you happy and I like making you happy. I admit, it was nice to have my own money and my own responsibilities and I never really realised how much that meant for me until you selfishly cut me off a few weeks ago. However, I've forgiven you for that and I trust that you won't do it again", she glared at him as she remembered how awful he had been to her just recently, and for a second, she wondered whether she was crazy for returning to Southfork as his wife. She pushed those thoughts out of her mind temporarily though, because they weren't adding anything helpful to their conversation."Look, I know my argument probably doesn't make a lot of sense to you, but please, just listen to me and try to understand where I'm coming from. I really want this and I want it for the right reasons; I feel like I can make a difference to other people and I feel like it would be good for me. We promised that we were going to communicate better and that's exactly what I'm trying to do", she paused and looked at him, "I want to do this and I would like you to support my decision". She was more annoyed than upset by his opposition to her request, she hadn't exactly been asking for permission to do it, she simply wanted to be courteous by informing him beforehand, and hopefully in response, hear a few words of encouragement from him; so when she didn't get that, she was confused and frustrated.

Sighing heavily to himself, JR didn't exactly know how to respond; she was right, she had given a lot up for him and she had never complained about the life that he gave her in return. He could also admit to himself that he knew she wasn't happy when she was lonely and bored and he did prefer a satisfied wife to one who was clingy and needy because she had nothing but him to focus her attention on. He was now also remembering the context of their conversation; he was trapped, even if he didn't want her to do it, he couldn't say no, because it would upset her and if his parents saw his upset wife, there would be hell to pay, and he couldn't have that, not after the conversations he'd had with his father recently. Sitting silently for a few moments as he tried to figure out how to respond rationally, he began to realise how silly his own arguments were. He was a millionaire and his wife was a former beauty queen and now society lady, she'd been doing charity work for years and there was absolutely no way anyone would be confused by her new position, in fact, she'd probably get more positive attention and validation than she did now, and that would reflect well on him. He also realised that she was right about their commitment to communicating better and his father was right to hold him to a higher standard than he had in the past, because a good husband would listen and consider his wife's wants and needs before making a decision, and he wanted to be a good husband.

"Ten hours a week; hours when I'm working", he nodded and spoke and it was almost as if he were speaking to himself and not his wife, trying to convince himself that it wasn't that bad after all. Waiting silently for another moment, he then spoke again, this time more softly than before, "tell me about your role…" He smiled at her weakly as he opened the topic for discussion again; he was embarrassed about his initial negative reaction, a reaction he now realised was an overreaction, and he felt silly that he was showing her two completely opposite sides of himself, it made him look wishy-washy and weak. He realised that he probably needed to be a better listener and communicator, but that didn't come naturally to him and it wasn't something he was entirely comfortable with. Even now, after all of their arguments, he still found himself tempted to play the controlling husband who had final say over his wife's decisions, no matter how ridiculous it was in reality. Smiling to herself, Sue Ellen launched into an excited speech about the organization itself and her future role there. She had been ready for a fight if he wanted one, but she was glad that it hadn't come to that, and now that he seemed somewhat agreeable, she found herself willing to accept the fact that he hadn't even said that he was sorry or acknowledged that he was wrong. In the back of her mind, she hated that she was so dependent on him and required his opinion and approval of her actions to make her feel better. She hated that she was such a pushover and that she often forgave him more easily than she should, but she also reasoned that she loved him and in their marriage, they'd already wasted too much time fighting. It simply wasn't worth arguing about, not now that she had what she wanted and not knowing how JR was; a fight would get them nowhere and she would much rather just move on.

To be continued…


	230. Deal

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen smiled to herself as she left the hospital after her twenty-three week prenatal check-up appointment; she felt wonderful both physically and emotionally and it obviously showed. Her obstetrician had immediately made a friendly comment about how happy she looked and she had been pleasantly surprised when she took her blood pressure and noted that it had returned to a normal, healthy level. She had only been 'working' for four days, but she was already feeling more positive, useful and satisfied with the way her life was; it wasn't a huge time commitment, because her job was only to dress women, she didn't actually have to sort through the donations or seek sponsorships, but the hours she did work were fulfilling and rewarding. Even JR seemed to realise that he had overreacted, because despite his initial worry about her not giving him the attention he wanted, he soon realised that that was the furthest thing from the truth. The reality of their lives was that he worked a lot and her moods were affected by what she decided to do with herself during those periods. Having too much free time gave her too much time to think and worry and to become a narcissistic, unhappy woman; but to be out of the house, doing something worthwhile, gave her a sense of satisfaction, self-worth and occupied her time in a substantial way; her life had meaning now, no longer did she just simply exist. Her new life choice had had a knock-on effect on her marriage too; she may not have been working a paid job, but at least she had something of her own, something she could define her personal successes by; it was something that somewhat bonded she and JR on a new level, one that they hadn't had before. Now, when JR spoke about his day, she also had something to contribute to the conversation, things that didn't involve her gossiping about the other society ladies or showing him her new shopping purchases. It also gave her something other than herself or her husband to focus her thoughts and attention on, at least for a little while; that meant that when she did return home afterwards, she was excited to see JR for reasons other than just because she was lonely and wanted companionship. She knew that when the baby came, she would have to re-work her schedule again, to accommodate JR, motherhood and her voluntary work, but she knew she was capable of doing all three and she wanted to make it work.

"Daddy", JR stepped into his father's office, an amended copy of his new contract in his hand; if his father wanted to negotiate the terms of his future presidency of Ewing Oil, then he was going to be an equal participant in the negations, and he intended on being the winning party when they came to an agreement. He'd originally gone to see Harv Smithfield, but he'd soon realised that that was a mistake, because Harv was the lawyer who had originally drawn up the contract, he couldn't work for JR, he was already working for Jock. So now, JR's lawyer was Brooks Oliver, he wasn't JR's ideal, but he was a fine lawyer and JR was sure that getting the small changes he was proposing approved was more dependent on his father's opinion rather than anything a lawyer could change; he just needed a lawyer to write the documents and make everything permanent and legal. "Junior", Jock looked up at JR and noticed the contract in his hand, nodding at him, he told him to close the door and take a seat. Sitting down, JR placed the contract on the desk, "I'll get straight to the point of my visit. I've had my lawyer look over the contract and he's come up with a few things that we never discussed and I would like to have in writing before signing anything", he paused and looked at his father for a moment. "It's come to my attention that what is written in this contract is really only binding during the period between your retirement and your death; technically, I'm only being given control to run the company as I see fit, but I have no legal ownership. I need assurance that when you tell me that Ewing Oil is mine, that means forever, not just for the next few decades. I worked hard for this and it is my rightful inheritance, so I want to know that when the time comes, Ewing Oil will remain in my hands, and eventually, will be passed on to my son and his son, and so on. Just as we had always discussed and planned", he felt a little awkward referring to the fact that his father was going to die someday, but he needed to say it, he needed to protect his own interests and the interests of his family. "I've already made a promise to my wife to be a loving and faithful husband and I intend to keep that promise, so yes, I will agree to the terms of the morality clause, however, I want you to agree to my terms too. It's really no different to what we've always discussed and what the original succession plan was, I'm just making sure that there is no confusion or place for challenge, because just as you wanted me to follow in your footsteps, I want the same for my son and all future men that bear the name John Ross Ewing". He handed his father a copy of the amended contract and waited for him to say something, anything.

Jock didn't know what to think of JR's proposal; his son wasn't entirely wrong, but that didn't mean that he agreed with everything he was saying. He'd assumed that there would be some kind of negotiation, because he'd taught JR how to do business and one of their first lessons had been about never accepting a first offer, but he was also a little angry and offended that JR was inferring that he couldn't be trusted to follow through on his promise in his will. He had three sons, and yes, Bobby had the potential to be a capable and successful businessman, however, it was always his intention that JR be the one to take over the role of president upon his retirement and then owner upon his death. Perhaps if things had been different and he'd raised his sons to have the same skillset, so that they truly were equals and could run the company together in a partnership, perhaps then he would've considered them to truly be equals, however, that wasn't the reality of the situation. Despite the fact that Bobby was his favourite and he'd given him everything, he couldn't deny that JR had worked hard and had earned his position, and in the long run, JR had the drive and skills required to achieve the title they were aiming for; JR was capable of making Ewing Oil the largest independent oil company in Texas.

Flicking through the contract, he read the amendments JR's lawyer had made; "ok, new deal. Upon my retirement there will be a fifty one, forty nine percent ownership split, in your favour; I want to step back from the business, so you will be free to run the company how you see fit, however, I still want to be involved, at least on paper. Upon my death, you will receive the remaining forty nine percent, and it will be stipulated that Ewing Oil is to remain a family business, though I know how much you care about it, so I don't doubt that it will remain that way. I'm willing to agree to your wishes, because even though you seem to doubt my final intentions, I am being honest when I say that it was always my intention to leave Ewing Oil to you, so I will make it legal now if you wish to see it yourself. However, you need to remember that all of this is dependent on you staying within the boundaries that have been set. One move the wrong way and Ewing Oil is no longer yours, nor your sons. I'm serious JR, I want this family to do things the right way, and you have the power to make sure that that happens. That is my final offer", he looked at the contract once more and then began to write down what he was offering; if JR agreed, they could have a meeting with their lawyers in the next few days; he wanted JR legally bound by his rules ASAP.

Sitting quietly as he considered it for a moment, JR then nodded, "deal, thank you daddy. I'll call my lawyer and we'll set up a meeting to go through the amended documents sometime next week. Is that ok with you?" It wasn't ideal, he would have preferred to gain ownership and control of the entire company upon his father's retirement, however, he wasn't stupid, he knew the position he was in now and he wasn't going to argue with a majority percentage agreement for the short term and promise that it would all be his one day. "Fine, fine. Now, get out of here. I want you working hard and making us money, not sitting around making idle chitchat", he spoke jokingly, though he was half-serious. JR was taking three days off next week for his wedding anniversary, and although he was pleased that his son was making an effort to be a good husband, he needed JR's full attention as a business partner right now; they couldn't afford to fall behind in their work. "Yes daddy", JR nodded, shook his father's hand and then left the office, grinning to himself as he closed the door; he may not have gotten exactly what he wanted, but things were pretty damn good right now and he was happy. For once, both his personal life and his business life were issue-free and he was excited to simply just get to enjoy life without having to worry about all of the challenges that he was facing.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: I chose Brooks Oliver because he was the only lawyer I could think of that didn't specialise in criminal law; the detail of who JR's lawyer is isn't really a huge deal though, so if there's someone else that would suit better, then just imagine that person :P Also, yes, I know Jock split Ewing Oil in his will and made JR and Bobby compete for it, he didn't just leave it to JR. However, that was after a point in the show where Bobby had shown that he was somewhat capable of being the president of Ewing Oil; at this point in history, he's still the Ewing Oil pimp, JR is the serious businessman.**


	231. Surprise

**Dallas, Texas**

Walking into their bedroom as she returned home from a DOA meeting on Friday afternoon, Sue Ellen was surprised to see three gift boxes sitting on her side of the bed and she smiled to herself as she looked at the small card attached to the ribbon on the biggest box. It wasn't as if she expected the gifts to be from anyone else, but it always made her happy to know that JR was making an effort and was thinking of her even when he wasn't physically there with her. Opening the first package, a large, rectangular box, she gasped as she saw what was inside; JR had impeccable taste and the beautiful, dark blue evening gown was no exception. Removing it from the box, she smiled to herself as she noted the empire waistline and bigger bust; JR must have had some input into the dress, even if he'd had his secretary organize the actual ordering, wrapping and delivery; no one else knew her body quite the same way he did, especially her new body. Moving her attention to the next box, she removed the lid and crinkled her forehead in confusion; it was February, what use were bathing suits and cover-ups to her right now? Yes, they were pretty, but it was still fairly cold in Dallas and she doubted that they'd be using the pool any time soon. Looking at the bathing suits for a few more seconds, she then moved onto the third and final box and laughed at herself as she realised that JR had probably intended for her to open the boxes in a different order. Everything made perfect sense now, the smallest box contained only a short, handwritten note, a guidebook and a pen and she grinned as she looked at them. JR was taking her on vacation to Cozumel for their anniversary and in addition to the gifts he'd given her, he wanted her to have some say in what they actually did on their vacation. Looking at her watch, she decided that she had just enough time this afternoon before JR came home to go and get a manicure and pedicure in preparation for their trip; she liked to look nice for JR and she liked to look nice for herself, and a vacation was a perfect excuse to pamper herself a little bit.

Pulling into the Southfork driveway, JR grinned to himself as he noticed his wife leaving her position on the balcony above the swimming pool, appearing outside on the patio just a few seconds later. She'd obviously received the gifts he'd sent her and he was pleased that she was reacting the way he'd intended; he wanted his wife to be happy and he wanted to be the one that made her happy. "I love you!" her excitement was evident as she ran toward him as he got out of his car, she didn't seem to be able to stay still and evilly, his mind went to other places that she could exert her energy. "I love you too darlin'", he gave her a quick kiss and then pulled away to speak again, "I'm assuming you got my gifts. Did you like them?" he grinned as he prolonged the conversation; it was obvious that talking was the last thing on her mind right now. Sue Ellen nodded and smiled, "mhm, I did, and I loved them", she paused for a moment and then grinned, "I did have a few questions though, perhaps you could answer them for me… upstairs", she raised an eyebrow at him and turned back toward the house, taking a bold position as she assumed that he would follow him. It wasn't much of a risk for her though, because as much as he was teasing her with his questions and slight physical delay, JR wanted exactly the same thing she wanted; he knew that there would be no discussion when they entered the bedroom, at least not until much later in the day.

**Cozumel, Mexico**

Just under three hours after they left Dallas, around midday local time on Saturday morning, the couple landed on the beautiful Mexican island and their waiting limousine drove them the short distance from the airport to their resort. Initially, JR had considered returning to the St Thomas and St John, where they had honeymooned two years ago, however, he decided against it for two reasons. The first reason was purely related to travel time; to fly to the United States Virgin Islands from Dallas meant seven hours of travelling, and in Sue Ellen's current state, although travel was safe and possible, he didn't want to exhaust her or make her uncomfortable by forcing her to spend a whole day on airplanes and in airports. The second reason was cheekiness; late last week, he had realised that a trip outside of the United States was possible this time, because his father hadn't said anything about not leaving the country, so he really wanted to take advantage of that and bring his wife somewhere new and different, but still beautiful and relaxing. Mexico seemed like the perfect destination, and after a little bit of discussion with his travel agent, he'd booked them a five day vacation in Cozumel; it was a lot closer to home than the USVI and at this time of year, the weather was a lot nicer than in Dallas. He had been able to book the entire trip without her knowledge and he was pleased that he had, because seeing the excitement on her face when he returned home on Friday was very rewarding. Prior to booking their honeymoon, he had insisted that she apply for a passport, however, because they technically hadn't left the United States, the passport was still pristine, no stamps or marks, and looking at it last week, he felt a little guilty for promising her such a grand life and then never delivering on that promise. He was determined to be a better husband now though, in whatever way he could.

On their honeymoon, they had stayed in a resort that had a number of private villas and Sue Ellen had absolutely loved that experience, but this year they were staying at a resort where the building was designed more like a hotel, and the grounds were what made it a resort. Initially, as their limo pulled up outside the building, she had been a little disappointed, not by the vacation or the effort JR had gone to, just simply by the type of accommodation he had chosen. A large hotel wasn't nearly as private or romantic as she would have liked and she was worried that they weren't going to be able to spend as much quality time alone together as she wanted. As she was now aware, thanks to Lucy's dramatic request for a new bedroom a few days ago and the passive aggressive remarks toward she and JR that followed, they weren't exactly silent when they were together. As embarrassing as it was to face with the family after that realisation, she was eventually able to deal with it, however, she knew that she would be completely mortified if other guests reported them to the hotel security. She wanted to enjoy her vacation with her husband in any way they wanted to, she didn't want to have to censor herself or her actions simply out of courtesy to other guests, so it did disappoint her a little that they didn't have the same amount of privacy that they had had on their honeymoon. However, as they exited the elevator on the top floor and walked toward the large, double doors, all concerns about a lack of privacy disappeared and she realised that she was being silly worrying about something that probably wouldn't ever actually happen; JR had rented the penthouse suite for them, so they had an entire floor to themselves. As the bellhop opened the door for them, Sue Ellen gasped at just how beautiful even the view from doorway was and as they toured their accommodation for the next five days, she was speechless. They were quite literally just a few hundred feet from the ocean and it was apparent that the resort had been designed with that in mind; ceiling to floor windows opened onto a large outdoor balcony that overlooked the ocean, and in the interior rooms, there were as many windows as structurally and architecturally possible. The amazing view was the focal point of the room and the architecture and clean, spacious, interior design did a wonderful job at emphasising that. She felt like a newlywed again and she couldn't wait to show JR just how happy she was.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thanks for all of your lovely reviews and kind words, they mean a lot to me :)**


	232. Vacation

**Cozumel, Mexico**

"You're sure I look ok?" Sue Ellen self-consciously assessed her appearance in the mirror again; despite the fact that she saw her own body every day and she was well aware that she was pregnant and showing, she was in complete shock as she changed into her swimsuit and cover-up. The weather in Dallas had started to cool down right around the time she found out that she was pregnant, so she hadn't worn a swimsuit for a few months now and she hadn't seen her pregnant body in a swimsuit, ever; and now that she had, she was still a little shocked and self-conscious. "Darlin', you look more than ok, you look absolutely beautiful. I know that you don't think pregnancy suits you, but even pregnant, you're still the prettiest lady in Texas, and you're definitely the prettiest lady on this island". He wasn't lying, he did think she was beautiful and he wasn't afraid to tell her that, but his motives weren't purely motivated by trying to make her feel better. He was also aware that he didn't have a hope in hell of getting her out of the hotel room and downstairs if he said anything less than overly complimentary, so naturally, he complimented her and tried his best to boost her ego enough to get her to see things his way. Even though on some level, she knew that he had his own motives in trying to get her to see herself as more than she gave herself credit for, she still found herself smiling at his comments and accepting the compliments; a compliment was a compliment and she needed all of the confidence boosting comments she could get right now. "Thank you", she smiled at him and gave him a light kiss before briefly turning around to look at herself from a different angle, she wanted to be completely sure that she looked acceptable before going out in public; her self-consciousness was still there, even if she was trying to ignore it and move past it. "From the back, you don't even look pregnant", JR didn't understand why she gave him an annoyed look, but he didn't question it, he didn't want to get in another long discussion about her body image issues, because it was clear that she had a lot of them. Repressing her self-doubts, she looked at herself one last time before making a snap decision, "let's go", she took his hand and led him toward the door, if they didn't leave the room now then she was afraid that they never would.

"…yes, it's just bourbon and water, and a virgin margarita for my wife, she's pregnant, she's trying to not drink very much alcohol", JR found himself getting annoyed at the bartender as he had to explain what he wanted; for a resort marketed at English-speaking tourists, the man didn't seem to understand him very well. He wasn't a big fan of foreign places, even other cities in Texas were a little annoying to deal with at times; sometimes he didn't want to have to explain what he meant, he just wanted people to listen and pay attention. A medium steak was a medium steak, three dozen yellow roses every day meant three dozen roses every day, and a bourbon and branch meant a bourbon and branch. He liked the way things operated in Dallas, no one ever questioned him about his requests, they knew better than to do that, and most importantly, they understood that he was a good customer and they would do well to make every effort to please him. "Sí señor", the bartender nodded as he finally seemed to understand, "I will have them brought over", oblivious to JR's annoyance, he gave him a friendly smile; "fine, fine, thank you", JR nodded and tipped the man before walking back over to the little palapa hut where his wife was now engrossed in a magazine. Breathing a sigh of relief as he saw how relaxed she appeared to be, he began to let go of his prior annoyance and started working on becoming more calm and relaxed himself. He wanted this to be an enjoyable vacation and even if he was annoyed with the standard of service, he didn't want his opinions to ruin Sue Ellen's holiday, she didn't need the stress or deserve to have to deal with his bad moods.

A mere twenty minutes later, JR began to get antsy as he finished reading the financial magazine and the rest of the newspaper he had purchased for the flight down from Dallas. He made a mental note to purchase a book to read, because sitting and just relaxing was not something he was used to and now that he was supposed to be doing it, he didn't really know how. They had a swimming pool at Southfork and the family spent a lot of time relaxing beside it in the summer, but this was different; in Dallas, he never just sat around doing nothing, he was always reading documents for work or a newspaper, talking to his father or brother, or having fun with his wife. Not wanting to force her to take off her cover-up to go swimming just yet, he cleared his throat dramatically and suggested a walk along the beach; dipping their feet in the ocean was sure to make her want to swim and in the meantime, it was an activity that actually allowed him to exert his energy in some way. JR Ewing simply wasn't used to or suited to sitting still and doing nothing but 'relaxing' for long periods of time. Completely oblivious to her husband's thoughts, Sue Ellen smiled and agreed to the his suggestion; any time she spent with JR was nice, it didn't particularly matter to her what they did during their time together, though she couldn't say she didn't enjoy certain activities more than others. Just being alone with her husband was enough for her, but to be in a foreign country, on a beach, on vacation for more than just the weekend, that was a bonus, and she didn't intend on having anything mess that up.

To be continued…


	233. Tête-à-tête

**Cozumel, Mexico**

"JR?" Sue Ellen smiled to herself contently as they entered the elevator, she was completely happy and satisfied right now and she wanted her husband to know. JR wasn't oblivious to her mood, he had been observing her all evening, well, all day really, and it pleased him that she appeared to be very happy; just knowing that he was responsible for a lot of that happiness made him happy, because he now saw things differently to how he had in the past. The old JR had been mostly focused on satisfying his own desires, of course, he wanted to have a happy wife, but he also hadn't entirely realised just how much her happiness depended on how he treated her and what he did when he wasn't with her. She wanted a husband who could give her as much of himself as she gave him of herself; he understood that now. It had taken him a long time and a lot of things had happened in that period, bad things, but now, he finally understood that their relationship and their lives, both as individuals and a couple, were better when they did things equally and for each other. He'd thought long and hard about his beliefs and expectations, and for the first time, he had begun to see things from a perspective that wasn't entirely his own; Sue Ellen's speech in the hotel room had prompted him to take a look at the way he assumed things without evidence or anything real to base them on. Yes, in his mind, ladies acted a certain way, but when Sue Ellen, a true lady, told him in no uncertain terms that just because she was a lady, didn't mean that she always had to act that way and that she quite enjoyed not having to be so proper all the time, he was dumbfounded, but also receptive. For some reason, it had taken her yelling at him for him to finally realise that he was being ridiculous when he insisted on stuffy, conservative roles in their marriage, especially when it wasn't what either of them wanted. What they did in their marriage was no one's business but their own, at least as long as they were happy and demonstrating that they could be adults. Sue Ellen's mother was naturally nit-picky, they couldn't do much about that, and although his parents meant well when they interfered in their everyday lives, it often ended up putting more pressure on them than anything else; so for them to take anyone's opinions more seriously than their own simply wasn't a good idea, and he finally understood that. The past few weeks had been wonderful; he wasn't sure what to make of it yet, because he kept expecting to find himself wanting more, but surprisingly, his wife was keeping him totally satisfied, both in an out of the bedroom. They seemed to have finally come to a common understanding and their marriage was benefitting immensely from that understanding and their new methods of communication.

"Yes darlin'", he was interested in what she was thinking, because all throughout dinner, she had appeared dreamy and meditative; something was going on in her mind, and if the recent past was anything to go by, she was a fascinating woman and she was thinking something interesting. Exiting the elevator and walking into their hotel room, Sue Ellen said what was on her mind, "when I came back to Dallas, I made a total commitment to you; I want to wipe out all of the bad times and start over. Promise me that things will always be this good", she knew that they'd made and broken a lot of promises in the past, but this felt different, it felt more real this time, as if she finally had every part of her husband. Pulling her toward him as they entered the living room, he stopped her from walking any further, concerned that she was speaking almost as if she was still holding a certain amount of resentment toward him. "Sue Ellen, look at me", holding her shoulders and then using one of his hands to tilt her face up to his, he made sure that they maintained eye contact as he spoke, "darlin', I love you, and I promise, I do not intend to do anything to bring us bad times again. I want our marriage to remain strong, no matter what else is going on in our lives", he spoke with a little bit of awareness of their situation, but he fully intended on making sure that their relationship remained strong, even when other things weren't easy. Listening to her husband's words, Sue Ellen felt better for a moment, however, his comment about their lives saddened her a little bit; things were going to change, whether they wanted them to or not. They wouldn't always be alone on an island together, they did have real lives to get back to and some things were simply out of their control. In their lives, smooth sailing was a rare occurrence, at least for long periods of time; unfortunately, rough patches were to be expected. Ultimately, they couldn't control anyone but themselves, however, they were in control of how they dealt with situations and she was completely prepared to work with him in any way that he needed her. Even if everything else in their lives was good, she wasn't stupid, she knew that the baby would change their relationship, but whether it was positive or negative, she really did feel like she had some control over that, and she was determined to make it a positive experience.

Looking away for a moment as she processed her thoughts, she then looked him in the eye again, "I love you JR, and I want the same thing. I want us to be happy together and work with each other, not against each other. Promise me, please, promise me that when we get back to Dallas, nothing will change in regards to our love for each other. Promise me and really show me that you've made the same commitment that I have to our marriage and our relationship; promise me that we'll always talk about and really discuss our lives with each other, and that includes really, honestly listening to each other. I don't completely understand the way your mind worked before, but I want to make it clear that I am here for you, all of you, not just the good parts, or the parts you think are appropriate for me. Your problems are my problems; your happiness is my happiness. Please, please promise me that everything will be good between us from now on, because I really want to make things work. If you have any doubts, then tell me now, because I don't think I could stand the pain of having you go back to your old ways. I'd hate to not be your wife anymore, but I have to do what's best for me, and if being together is going to cause me more pain and distress, then I'm willing to give it up, because I want to be happy, not miserable".

JR looked at his wife confusedly, she'd been so happy just a moment ago, but now she seemed sad and she was voicing doubts about their relationship, doubts he absolutely did not want to hear, especially since he was serious about their relationship and was trying to make an honest effort to be a good husband and a better man. "Oh, Sue Ellen…", he sounded defeated and sad as he spoke, he had really only asked out of curiosity about why she was so happy, he'd never intended to upset her. "What's brought all this on darlin'?" he asked her a question, though he didn't really expect her to answer it, it wasn't really something he wanted to discuss, even if they were supposed to be making an effort to communicate with each other better. Pausing and looking her in the eye again, he did the one thing he knew would convince her, his kisses always said so much more than his words did, because emotionally, he just wasn't a good verbal communicator. Surprised by his actions, but also immensely attracted to him, Sue Ellen found herself more convinced of her place in their marriage and his position on their relationship, he did love her, he just wasn't very good at expressing his feelings sometimes; it wasn't exactly surprising, Jock Ewing wasn't the kind of man that encouraged emotional expression. Pulling away, JR stroked her cheek and looked her in the eye again, "I love you Sue Ellen and I promise, I want our marriage to work and if you'll just give me a chance to show you, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. The fact is I already have what I always wanted… you. I was too stupid and too vain to realise it before, but I do now, and I am trying and will continue to try damn hard to be the husband you deserve, that is the husband I want to be". It annoyed him that no one seemed to believe that he could change, but he understood why people had doubts, and he understood that they only way to change people's beliefs about him was to prove them wrong. Things in his life were good now, he and Sue Ellen had opened a world of possibilities with their previous discussion, he was about to become a father and make his parents grandparents again, and as long as he kept to his commitment to his wife and child, then Ewing Oil was his too. He wanted to prove everyone wrong and he wanted to have a good life for himself, his wife and their child, so he was determined to do everything the right way.

Looking up at him again, Sue Ellen gulped, she wanted to believe him, and honestly, she did believe him, he hadn't done anything to make her not believe him; she was being silly and worrying about non-issues again, that's all it was. "Do you think you can stand living with just one woman?" she didn't really know why she was asking him, it would be awful to hear anything other than the answer she was looking for. Sighing exasperatedly and then calming himself, JR spoke, "yes darlin', as long as the one woman is you", he looked at her tenderly for a moment and then grinned to himself as he noticed the way her eyes lit up and a smile appeared on her face as he confirmed what she wanted to hear. He didn't understand her sometimes, she was a very confusing woman; none of what he had said was really new information, but apparently, she'd needed to hear him say it again, and if that was all it was, then he wasn't going to question it. Breaking into a grin of her own, Sue Ellen felt relieved and happy as she got the confirmation that she had been subconsciously looking for; for some reason, even with him showing her that he loved her, she needed to hear it again, and now that she had, she felt a lot better. Sensing the change in her mood, JR seized the opportunity and kissed her, the way he had wanted to when they originally entered the room, he loved his wife and he wanted to be with her, and he realised that sometimes, she needed both verbal and physical communication of that want, and he was happy to oblige. As his skilled hands moved to the zipper on her dress, she worked on undoing his tie and removing his jacket, quickly moving on to his shirt and pants. It seemed crazy to outsiders that they could go from tender and caring to passionate in a matter of seconds, but to them, it was just one of the many things they loved about their marriage, and they intended on taking full advantage of it, especially with their new location. A vacation was the perfect time to get to know other parts of each other, both physical and emotional.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Dialogue partially inspired by the episode **_**Hello, Goodbye, Hello**_**, written by Leonard Katzman.**


	234. Lucky

**Cozumel, Mexico**

JR awoke as he did every morning, his body clock never differentiated between workdays, weekends or vacation time. They were an hour ahead of Dallas and it was now almost eight, but they didn't have anywhere to be, so instead of getting up, he just lay and watched Sue Ellen sleeping for a while. Observing her, he considered every aspect of their lives; she was a beautiful, sweet, loyal and surprisingly, sexually exciting woman, and as much as she seemed to think she was the lucky one in their marriage, that she was fortunate to be married to him, he didn't see it that way, he was lucky to be married to her. When he'd met her, she was Miss Texas, a cheerleader, a model and an all-around popular young lady, and even without her mother's interference, she probably could have had any man she wanted; but she hadn't wanted any other man, she'd chosen him. He hadn't been particularly worried about her only dating him because of his money, firstly because he actually liked the idea of being able to give a woman whatever she wanted, but mostly because she had never shown him a side of herself that was only financially motivated. Yes, her mother was a greedy, indiscrete woman, but Sue Ellen herself appeared to want to distance herself from that idea; during the time they had dated, she had tried her best to be a little self-sufficient and independent, as much as she was allowed to anyway. He still didn't completely understand what had happened to her relationship with Clint, he'd never gotten a definitive answer from Sue Ellen or his private investigator, but he did know that he was middle-class at best and she had dated him despite Patricia's disapproval. That action alone showed him that she wasn't a total clone of her mother and she did have some control over her own life. She had dated other wealthy men, but she never moved any further with them, because she didn't have any romantic feelings toward them, and combined with the fact that he knew she was dating a poor boy at the time they met, JR knew that she wasn't just interested in his wallet, she was interested in him. He was lucky to have met, wooed and married her, and any time he thought differently, he was wrong; she was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Staring at her as she slept, he admired her physical appearance; he liked the idea and the reality that his wife was there, next to him, completely nude; it was always a sign of a good night when he awoke next to her in this state. Knowing from experience that although she enjoyed sleeping, she enjoyed other things more, he placed light kisses on her shoulder, neck and up toward her lips, gently waking her up. "Mm", Sue Ellen slowly awoke, smiling to herself sleepily as she became more aware of his actions; she had no doubt where they were heading and she was looking forward to every minute of it. Slowly moving to look at him, she felt like a newlywed again, as if being here with him was a novelty, not something ordinary, "good morning, husband". She giggled to herself as she spoke, it had been a long time since she made a point of using his married title and it almost seemed silly to be so excited about it now. JR grinned to himself as she giggled, she was a fascinating woman; she easily and frequently switched between different parts of her personality and he enjoyed the way he reacted completely differently to each side of her. Her sweet, innocent side was endearing and completely unlike her sexy, take-charge, passionate side, but he loved every part of her and he enjoyed that she took pride in the small things about their marriage. "Good morning, wife", he decided to go where her mind obviously was; he understood exactly why she liked to use his title, because when they'd first married, he had taken a great deal of pride in introducing her to people as his wife, letting them know that she was his and his alone. Smiling dreamily, she snuggled closer to him, gladly participating as he resumed his actions; she enjoyed the intimacy of feeling so connected to him, physically and emotionally, and knowing that she was the one he had chosen to share this side of himself with, she felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

Running his hands along every curve of her body, he moved his kisses down her neck, enjoying the soft sighs he got in response and the moans he elicited as he moved further down toward her chest. There was something about being intimate with her that he enjoyed; once he had a woman in bed, JR Ewing didn't usually encourage romance or sensuality, but everything was different with his wife, and it was made all the better just knowing that it was only one of a million things that they could do together, without silly restrictions. Desiring him to keep moving further down, Sue Ellen was a little disappointed when he didn't, instead, moving his kisses back to her lips, however, her disappointment began to disappear when he gently started to change position, sliding his leg between hers and moving her ever so slightly onto her side. Moaning quietly as he continued his sensual actions, Sue Ellen felt it in her heart, she was in love with this man and he was in love with her, and she was thrilled that no other man had or would ever know her in this way. JR smiled to himself as he threw himself into pleasing both he and his wife. There was something to be said for making love, it really was an intimate pleasure, one that was best enjoyed in moments where they had total control over their schedule and location, because it was so much better when it wasn't rushed and they could do whatever they wanted, without having to consider anyone or anything else. Subtly guiding his hand to where she wanted it, Sue Ellen was satisfied that he knew what he was doing, and without any further prompts, she threw herself into equally participating, at least as much as their position and her condition allowed her to.

Lying snuggled together, in no hurry to go anywhere, Sue Ellen broke the comfortable silence they'd fallen into, "I love you", her words were simple but heartfelt, she really did feel like the luckiest girl in the world and she wanted him to know it. She had a wonderful husband, a wonderful life with her husband, a lovely family, she was very blessed with her financial and social circumstances and was able to give back in ways that made her feel good, and very soon, she would have the gift she had been wanting for years and her life would be complete. "I love you too darlin'", JR reciprocated her feelings before kissing her again, he loved that she wanted him to know how she felt, but he always felt as if he could better convey his emotional feelings for her through physical actions and material gifts and gestures. Understanding him completely, Sue Ellen sighed happily to herself, everything really was perfect right now and she was completely happy and satisfied; as much as she loved Dallas, she almost wished they could be on vacation forever, because things always seemed so much simpler and freer when they were alone.

To be continued…


	235. Dating

**Cozumel, Mexico**

Spending the majority of the morning in bed and then the majority of the afternoon relaxing at the beach and then by the pool, JR and Sue Ellen eventually left the resort on Sunday evening, heading into San Miguel, the largest city on the island. Originally assuming that the town would be quiet on Sunday, however, the concierge had informed them that quite the opposite was true, Sundays were a time where the community gathered together to socialise and they would not be without entertainment or company if they visited. Walking along the waterfront and down a few of the smaller streets, Sue Ellen was in her element as she found a number of beautiful, unique, handmade gifts to bring back for the family. Enjoying the relaxing atmosphere of being on an island, always near the ocean, they slowly wandered toward the town square, or as it was known locally, the zólaco, and as they approached, they were not disappointed. Sue Ellen was giddy as she took in the sights; she really did love all the new things she got to experience when she was with JR and being in a completely foreign place made new experiences especially exciting. Seeing the lively town square, Sue Ellen smiled to herself; sometimes she still couldn't believe that JR really did things like this for her. If she knew him as well as she thought she did, then she knew that he was completely out of his comfort zone deliberately heading into the social hub of a foreign area, one where the name Ewing meant nothing. Observing a crowd of people dancing, others chitchatting and socialising and the general hustle and bustle of life, she was content to do whatever JR wanted; she was just happy to actually be out doing something with him. Knowing she liked to dance and observing that the dancing wasn't too crazy or different to what he was used to, JR pushed past his own feelings of awkwardness and led her over to the area where people were dancing. He may not have been totally comfortable doing it, but he really was trying to make an effort to keep her happy and he knew she would be disappointed if they didn't do it at all, and besides, they didn't have to stay long, they had dinner reservations in an hour.

Returning to their room after dinner, JR a little drunk and Sue Ellen high from the excitement of the night, they barely made it into the living room before they were locked in a passionate embrace, Sue Ellen falling comfortably into her husband's lap. As she worked on removing his jacket, tie and undoing the buttons on his shirt, JR slowly unzipped her dress, first making sure to expose her chest for his benefit and then working his hands up her thighs; they enjoyed touching each other, especially when it was in the lead up to a bigger event. For some reason, throughout the time they'd been here, Sue Ellen felt like her younger self again, the college girl and then newlywed that she had once been, and with that came a feeling of excitement at the idea that she was totally in love and infatuated with JR Ewing, and that she could act on those feelings. There was something so exciting and appealing about the fact that he was her husband and she was his wife, and being away from Dallas made everything so much easier and freer. Of course, in Dallas, they could and did act on their feelings for each other, however, living at Southfork and being so publicly known around town meant that privacy was rare and the general affection they showed for each other on vacation wasn't as easy to show at home. Living in a house with four other people, they had to tone down their actions a little and control themselves more, something they tried to do, but weren't very good at if Lucy's comments were anything to go by. However, if she was honest with herself, apart from saving them from embarrassment and others from having to see or hear things they'd rather not, Sue Ellen didn't really see why they had to be so quiet and reserved. Southfork was just as much their home as anyone else's and they were married; why shouldn't they be allowed to act like it?

It annoyed her that they couldn't do normal things in Dallas without fear of people watching them and making comments; just once, she would like to be able to go on a date with her husband and not worry that people were judging them or they would end up in the society gossip pages of the newspaper. She wanted to be able to let loose with him and do things that weren't their usual dinner dates, she wanted to do the things that they did on vacation in their normal lives, because their vacations were so rare. It wasn't even just the whole dating feeling they had when they were on vacation, it was even just the little things like being able to kiss him whenever and wherever she wanted to, or wearing a bikini for his pleasure, those weren't really things she had the privilege of in Dallas. As much as it was other people stopping them, it was JR too; he didn't like the idea of people seeing him as anything other than the serious oilman that he was in business and he didn't like the idea of being spotted by people he knew if they went on a date and actually acted romantically toward each other. It was different now that they were married, in his mind, it seemed almost less acceptable to act like that when it was clear that she was already his and he wasn't a boyfriend trying to romance his girlfriend; he knew it was silly to worry about and he was working on opening up, but he wasn't quite there yet. They were on vacation now though, and in the present moment, those things were nothing to be concerned about; gently sliding the dress up and over her head, he then stood up, cautiously, for both his and her benefit, gave her a second to wrap her legs around his waist and then walked into the bedroom.

To be continued…


	236. Valentine's Day 1972

**Cozumel, Mexico**

Awaking on Monday morning, JR quietly slipped out of bed, using the phone in the living room to call down to reception; it was Valentine's Day and he had special plans for them, plans that started with a romantic morning in bed with his wife. Just minutes after he called, there was a light knock at the door, exactly as he had asked, he didn't want to risk waking his wife before he was ready; tipping the room service attendant, he carried the flowers and the tray into the bedroom and placed them down on the nightstand. Awaking to the smell of food and the feel of light kisses all over her body, Sue Ellen sighed contently, if she could always wake up this way, then she would be a very happy and satisfied woman, but even just every once in a while, it was nice to be pampered and romanced. "Good morning", she spoke sleepily and sat up gently to look at him; she could smell that they had food, so she assumed that he'd want to eat first and resume their activities after that. "Good morning", he leaned over once more and gave her a long, slow kiss before pulling away and moving to a better position, sitting on the bed in front of her and placing the tray of food in-between them. Stretching over again, he took the large bouquet of yellow roses from the nightstand and handed them to her, "happy Valentine's Day darlin'"; traditionally, JR Ewing wasn't a romantic unless he was trying to get a woman into bed, however, with Sue Ellen, it was so much more than that. Something about their separation and reunion had caused him to stop and think, to reconsider what he was doing and how he was acting, and from those thoughts, he finally realised that he loved his wife and he liked doing romantic things for her; he enjoyed seeing her happy. Of course, the romance wasn't a totally selfless action, she was always more enamoured with him after he did something sweet or thoughtful and he benefitted greatly from those feelings she had for him, however, it wasn't his primary motivation, he really did want to be a good husband.

Hours later, after a romantic, deeply satisfying morning in bed, the couple finally left their resort for their planned activities of the day. JR didn't want to overschedule them, they were supposed to be on a relaxing vacation and he wanted her to have some energy left for later, but he knew she would be disappointed in the future if she remembered that they took a vacation to a foreign place and never actually experienced anything that their location had to offer. Therefore, in the spirit of being a good husband and a good Valentine, he had booked them a private tour of the island for the early afternoon, and then a private sailboat for the late afternoon and evening. He'd planned it so that they would eat dinner on the boat, partially because he didn't want them to have to rush off anywhere else, but also because he knew how much she enjoyed little things like being able to experience the sunset from another perspective. Their dinner tonight would be lovely, but what he had planned for tomorrow evening was what he was really looking forward to seeing her react to; he'd put a lot of effort into proposing to her, and he wanted her to remember their second wedding anniversary in the same way. Their private tour took them around the main sights the island had to offer and Sue Ellen basked in the experience, she loved to travel and experience new things, and doing it with JR made everything so much more special; she really loved her husband and she loved spending time with him. Listening to the stories, taking in the sights and watching the joy on his wife's face, JR smiled to himself, he was happy, genuinely happy. Surprisingly, he was actually enjoying the experience of being somewhere totally unlike Texas, and even if he hadn't particularly enjoyed it, he really did love seeing how happy it made his wife. Vacations were good for them and he vowed to himself to really try to make more time for them as a couple from now on, because even if it was just a weekend away, he knew Sue Ellen would be thrilled, and honestly, so would he.

In the late afternoon, relaxing on the upper deck of their private yacht after just having given his wife one of her Valentine's Day gifts, JR was surprised when she handed him a gift-wrapped box of her own. Ordinarily, Valentine's Day was about him giving her gifts, not the other way around, though he wasn't upset about receiving a gift, it was always nice to know she was thinking about him. Untying the bow and lifting the lid of the box, he grinned to himself as he realised what was inside. Sue Ellen broke the silence as she noticed the grin on his face, "there are two; one for now, and one for when I get my body back after the baby is born". It had taken a long time for them to get comfortable with the idea that she didn't always have to be demure, she could be sexy too, but unfortunately, the timing of their reunion wasn't exactly in line with their new understanding. Pregnancy was not the best time to be attempting to squeeze herself into any kind of tight, sexy lingerie, so she hadn't really tried; even just buying new nightgowns was getting harder and harder, for some reason, there didn't seem to be a very big market for pretty maternity wear, let alone sexy maternity wear. However, despite her past struggles, knowing that Valentine's Day was coming up and wanting to give him a special treat, she made a quick, discreet visit to a store in Fort Worth, away from where anyone would see her, and eventually, she was able to locate something loose, but still sexy, as well as a much less conservative piece.

Letting out a loud, pleased laugh, JR couldn't help but get excited at the mental images her gift and explanation were eliciting; it pleased him greatly that she was totally willing to go the extra mile for him, to do things that were primarily for his satisfaction, it made him feel manly and loved. In the back of his mind, he scolded himself for being such an idiot in the past, because if he hadn't been so narrow-minded, he could have had already had two very exciting years with his wife. It wasn't that their marriage had been dull, loveless or sexually dissatisfying, not at all, but nonetheless, it was more predictable than he was expecting, and knowing now that he could have had so much more, he definitely regretted a lot of his past actions and blamed himself for not having those two years of fantastic memories. "Do I get a fashion show?" he grinned to himself, even if he didn't get one right now, he knew their afternoon wouldn't be dull and their evening would prove exciting. Deciding that getting there was half the fun and that it would be more pleasurable for both of them if she teased him for a while, Sue Ellen grinned back at him, "yes, but not until tonight. I want us to be completely alone together, away from any potential disruptions or distractions. For now, you're going to have to settle for admiring me in my bathing suit and letting your imagination do the rest", giving him a sly grin, she then stood, slowly removed her cover-up and stepped into the hot tub, looking over her shoulder at him as she took each step, inviting him, or daring him, to join her. Standing and following her, JR grinned to himself as he stepped into the warm water, yes, the rest of the day was going to be fantastic, and hopefully, the rest of their lives would be too.

To be continued…


	237. Second Anniversary

**Dallas, Texas**

Exiting the elevator and chatting to the secretaries for a few minutes, Bobby then remembered why he'd come in to the office this afternoon; he had news his father was definitely going to be pleased with and he wanted to tell him in person. "Is daddy in his office?" he looked at Julie and when she nodded and told him to go ahead, he said goodbye and walked down the hall. Knocking on his father's office door but receiving no answer, he just walked in; it wasn't exactly polite to enter a private office without permission, but he was Jock's son, not a burglar or business rival, he didn't see the harm in getting himself a drink while he waited for him to return from wherever he was. Walking over to the bar, he realised that making a drink didn't take nearly as long as he had imagined, so with a bourbon in his hand, he wandered around the office, looking at the photographs on the wall and then out the window at the view of downtown Dallas. Wandering around the office and back toward the desk, he noticed his father's weekly agenda was open and in plain sight, so naturally, the nosy side of him had to look at it. "Bobby!" re-entering the office, back from a quick trip to the bathroom, Jock noticed his youngest son had made himself quite comfortable; he didn't mind that he'd made himself a drink or that he'd come in without invitation, but he didn't like that he'd walked in on his son disrespecting his privacy by snooping at the contents of his desk. Jumping slightly as he heard his father's voice, Bobby panicked for a moment and then calmed himself down; he wasn't really doing anything wrong, so it seemed silly for him to act like a guilty man. "Afternoon daddy", he smiled and walked over to the bar to make his father a drink. "Afternoon. See something you like?" Jock couldn't help himself, even if Bobby was his favourite, he still felt the need to question his son's actions, at least briefly. "Oh, I was just waiting for you to get back. I have some good news", he handed his father his drink and didn't wait for him to ask before he launched into a recount of his latest business trip and the exciting new avenues of diversification he saw Ewing Oil had a potential to succeed in. He had seen something interesting in his father's calendar, but he wasn't going to risk annoying him by asking him about it; JR would be back at work on Thursday and he was sure that he would be able to gather the answers he was looking for simply by being in the office. Impressed with his son's business negotiation skills and ingenuity, Jock promptly moved on from being suspicious, instead, jumping into a discussion with Bobby about natural gas; it wasn't something he'd ever really considered, they were an oil company, not a general energy company, however, if there was money to be made, then he was always interested in hearing about it.

**Cozumel, Mexico**

A thousand miles south of Dallas, JR and Sue Ellen were much too preoccupied with their anniversary activities to think about much else. They'd spent a wonderfully relaxing day together, completely alone, well, with the illusion of being alone at least, they did have the private yacht crew at their service, however, they'd been instructed to leave them alone unless their services were specifically requested. Their day had been uneventful in the best, most relaxing way, but that was about to change. Toasting their marriage as the sun set, JR became aware of the quickly disappearing light and slowly moved into position, deciding that it was now or never; he had a plan in his mind and he wanted things to happen the way he imagined them. Before she really knew what was happening, Sue Ellen felt herself getting emotional again, it was a level of emotion reserved only for her husband and she knew something big was happening, though it took her mind a moment to catch up to her heart. "Sue Ellen Ewing, will you be my wife and the mother of my child?" she didn't know whether to laugh or cry at his gesture, so instead, she ended up with a mixture of both, happy tears running down her face. Their second wedding anniversary had been wonderful so far and the way he was acting right now was sweet, romantic and perfect for the moment, but it also made her giggle. Her husband was down on one knee, holding an open ring box, as if he were proposing, just like he had done three years ago, but instead of asking her to marry him, he was renewing and adding to his original promise, and just as she had back then, she felt optimistic and ecstatic.

If she looked at her life from an objective perspective, she probably would have thought she was crazy for continually seeing him as the loving, caring man that she did, but she wasn't objective, she was very much personally involved and she did see him in a different way to everyone else. Even after all of their drama and the cycle of disappointment and heartbreak she'd gone through in the short period that they had been married, she couldn't imagine her life without him. There was something magical about her relationship with JR, something she couldn't explain, but she knew she loved him and she wanted to be with him, so she was willing to try everything to make it work. "Yes JR, yes I will", as much as she knew that logically, he wasn't saying anything more than he had in the past, or even just on this vacation, for some reason, this felt more special; grand romantic gestures really did make everything more impressive and memorable. Sue Ellen couldn't stop smiling to herself as he slid the three-toned gold interlocking ring onto her finger; she always loved their anniversaries, but this was one she would remember forever, especially after hearing his explanation for why he had chosen the ring. The three interlocking rings were supposed to be representative of them as a couple and now as parents; he tried to brush it off as if the jeweller had just suggested it, but she had a feeling that he'd spent a long time in the store choosing the perfect one. No one ever believed her when she explained that there was a lighter, less serious side to JR Ewing, a side that definitely existed, but rarely came into public view; so she was sure that no one would believe this either, because it really was unbelievably sweet, a word JR didn't think described him, but definitely did in her eyes. She didn't need to prove anything to anyone though, because their marriage was about them, not their friends or family; so whether people believed that JR was capable of changing was of little importance to her right now, all she cared about was the commitment and love they shared.

Sighing with relief and happiness as she accepted his proposal, JR slid the ring on her finger, explained it's significance to her and then kissed her. It pleased him greatly to see that she was so emotionally touched by the gesture and it made him feel less uptight and awkward about showing his own feelings; even if he was no stranger to grand romantic gestures, it wasn't any less nerve-racking to actually do those things. Deepening their kiss, he was thrilled, their lives were absolutely perfect right now; their marriage was wonderful, they were united in their vision of the future as a nuclear family of three and in just two days, he would officially and legally be the heir and future owner and president of Ewing Oil. He had no plans to cheat on his wife, so he saw no reason why his father's retirement in the next few years wouldn't be a guaranteed partial handover of power and ownership. He was even a little more relaxed about Bobby's presence within the company; it was nice to know that he wasn't competing with his younger brother for power and control anymore; he could deal with Bobby being there now, because even if he did try to move up through the ranks, he would never really get anywhere. As his wife's hands moved to loosen his tie a little, the thoughts of Ewing Oil became less and less vivid; he could fours on his work and legacy later on, because he had a more pressing engagement right now.

To be continued…


	238. Back to Reality

**Dallas, Texas**

Walking out of the airport and entering the waiting limousine on Wednesday evening, Sue Ellen felt her mood drop; they were home, and she wasn't completely sure how to feel about it. Of course she was looking forward to seeing the family and getting back to her charity work, she liked being a Ewing and she liked helping people, however, she wasn't sure she was completely ready to get back into the swing of real life again just yet. Selfishly, she wished their lives could always be like they were on vacation, though she knew that their reality was anything but the vacation fantasy they'd been living for the past five days. Prior to their anniversary trip, they'd been spending a lot of time together, rediscovering and redefining their relationship, but she'd been spoiled by their vacation and she wasn't sure she wanted to go back to confining their relationship to their bedroom at Southfork, down the hall from JR's parents, brother and niece. She didn't want to have to censor themselves in their own home, it seemed so silly, but sometimes it felt like they were adults who lived like teenagers; there was nothing wrong with husbands and wives showing their affection for each other, but there was no doubt that it was awkward when there were four other people in the house. For a while after their reunion, they'd been so wrapped up in each other that they were oblivious to anyone else's presence, however, the honeymoon state of mind didn't last forever and now, more than ever, it was quite obvious that they couldn't continue to live their lives exactly as they had been.

Noticing the way his wife's mood dropped, JR empathised with her. He understood exactly what she was feeling, because as much as he loved his family and had always considered Southfork his home, he wasn't oblivious; he, more than anyone, knew of the many drawbacks and annoyances that being a grown man who lived with his parents presented, and he could only imagine that Sue Ellen felt even more awkward. At least he had a real connection to Southfork; he had never known home to be anywhere else and he felt as if he had just as much right to live there as everyone else, especially since he was the eldest son, Southfork was his birthright. However, for Sue Ellen, her only tie to Southfork was through marriage, and honestly, most married women probably didn't expect or want to live with their in-laws, especially not during the early years of their marriage, the years that should have been about discovery and settling into their own routines and traditions as a new family. JR had never considered it before, it had always seemed so logical to him, he lived at Southfork, so when they married, his wife would move in with him; however, thinking about it now, he wondered whether perhaps living at Southfork wasn't what was best for them. The Sue Ellen he'd married had obviously had a lot of thoughts, but she had also been raised by Patricia with the belief that wives were their husband's ultimate supporter and it wasn't a wife's job to express discontent, so she hadn't said anything and he hadn't been aware enough of her feelings to ask her directly. Unfortunately, because of who they had been in the past, they were officially two years into their marriage and he still had no idea whether she'd entered into their marital living arrangements reluctantly; they'd been terrible communicators up until very recently, and it showed in his memories of their early marriage.

As the lights of Southfork came into view, JR took her hand and looked her in the eye as he spoke, "I love you, and I don't intend to break any of my promises. Ewing Oil will be mine soon, our marriage is in the best place it has been in a long time and we're about to have a baby. Our lives are good, so to hell with anyone who says differently or tries to ruin our good time", leaning over and closing the gap between them, he kissed her softly and sweetly; he wanted her to feel his love for her and believe him when he said what he said. In the back of his mind, he knew that opening the discussion about their future living arrangements was probably something they needed to do, however, even if they felt as if they were ready now, he was able think clearly enough to recognize that at this point in their lives, moving was simply not the best decision. Sue Ellen was due to give birth in just fourteen weeks and he wanted her to have a healthy, supported, stress-free pregnancy and he wanted to bring his child home from the hospital to a real home, not a newly purchased house that they'd barely had time to make their own. If they were to leave Southfork, then ideally, he would like to build a house, however, even he, JR Ewing, couldn't make a grand house appear out of nowhere in less than fourteen weeks. He was also keenly aware of his wife's past fragile mental state and how easily she got overwhelmed and stressed when she felt as if she were failing at perfection; knowing her as well as he did, he had a fair idea of how much pressure she would put on herself to be the perfect housewife if they moved out. He had a feeling that as much as she would want to do it all, becoming a mother and the mistress of her own home all in a short space of time would be overwhelming for her and he cared too much about her and their child to suggest it right now. He remembered what it was like when Lucy was a baby, after he'd fulfilled his father's wishes and had her brought back to Southfork; they'd hired a baby nurse, but his mother had taken over the primary carer role and it had taken a physical and emotional toll on her. JR loved his wife and if she wanted to leave Southfork at some point in the future, then they would have a discussion about it, however, for now, he saw no real option but to stay, because even if their presence was annoying during day-to-day life, familial support was exactly what they were going to need very soon.

Feeling a little better as JR reiterated his promises to her, Sue Ellen felt herself relaxing into him as he kissed her. Logically, she knew that she was probably just in a post-vacation funk and it would go away soon enough, she had a lot of good things in her life in Dallas; however, she made a mental note to talk to JR about their future, especially after the baby was born. She loved the Ewings and she loved Southfork, but being pregnant and reconciling with JR, she had begun to consider what she wanted for her future, and at some point, she really did want to fulfil her younger-self's fantasies, fantasises that up until 1967 had never included living with her in-laws. It wasn't an immediate need, she knew that what was best for their child was to be surrounded by family, stability and support, and Southfork was the perfect place for that, however, sometime in the future, she really would like to at least discuss it with JR. As the limousine pulled into the driveway, she realised that she didn't feel as down as she had earlier; JR was right, their lives were good and they needed to focus on the good, not the unknown or the bad.

To be continued…


	239. Sign on the Dotted Line

**Dallas, Texas**

Pacing around his office, Bobby looked at his watch again and sighed, it had only been half an hour, but that was half an hour too long for him. He was frustrated by the secrecy surrounding the meeting that was happening in his father's office, because anything that involved two lawyers, his father and brother had to be important and he was jealous and annoyed that apparently he wasn't important enough to be invited to or even informed of the meeting. He was just as much a Ewing as his father or JR and although he wasn't the president or the vice president of Ewing Oil, he was still technically third in charge within the hierarchical management of the company, so when he wasn't included in important Ewing Oil business, he was confused and frankly, a little offended. His father had seemed interested in his proposal to expand their fuel exploration to include natural gas, but he'd also said that he couldn't commit anything until he and JR discussed it, a comment Bobby found rather annoying; he wasn't stupid, he knew what he was doing and to him, it was a good idea, he didn't need JR's approval. He'd always known that he was his father's favourite son at home, but at the office, it was clear that JR had a little edge on him in category related to reliability and importance. He wasn't the naïve, inexperienced college graduate that he had been two years ago when he started working for Ewing Oil full time, he was more knowledgeable and experienced now and he believed that he deserved to have his ideas considered for what they were, not nodded at and passed on to JR for approval. The combination of being put in his place and excluded from a business meeting had him frustrated and annoyed today and he wasn't really sure what to do with himself right now. He had no real work to do in Dallas, his position involved him going out on the road promote Ewing Oil, but he'd returned from his latest trip earlier in the week and hadn't been given any further instructions yet, so right now, he was alone in his office, just thinking, obsessing over the secret meeting down the hall.

Signing the papers and handing them to his father to sign, JR grinned to himself as he mentally calculated the potential amount of time before he owned fifty one percent of Ewing Oil. His father was sixty-three years of age, the social security retirement age was sixty-five and if anything his father had been saying over the last few years was true, he didn't plan on staying president forever. It wasn't as if his father needed the government provided retirement benefits, he was a millionaire in his own right, however, despite his enormous personal wealth, his pride would stand in the way of him taking an early retirement. JR knew his father considered it weak and silly for an able-bodied man to stop working just because he felt like it, but once he was considered eligible for retirement by a higher authority, it was ok to relax, at least a little bit. His father's beliefs regarding work were very close to his own, so he knew he wouldn't have a problem coming up with comments to encourage and further his decision; it was for his father's benefit and his own, because he wanted to see his father happy, but he also wanted Ewing Oil and he wanted it as soon as possible. Having both of their lawyers present was really only a formality, JR and Jock had already agreed on the terms and had both read and understood JR's new contract and the wording in Jock's will, however, the meeting was still no less significant in JR's life. His father may have always intended on passing Ewing Oil down to his eldest son, but it was guaranteed now, there would be no surprises in the, hopefully distant, future when his father did die and the control of the company was a legal matter; to know that it would be all his made JR very happy.

Signing the documents, Jock had mixed feelings; on one hand, he was pleased that JR was finally getting his life together and acting like a good husband and father, but on the other hand, it slightly annoyed him that the presidency and ownership of Ewing Oil had been the thing to push him into behaving that way. In some ways, he blamed himself for JR's thoughts and actions, because he had raised his eldest son to believe that life was a competition and to think of Ewing Oil first in all of his decisions, no matter what the collateral damage was. However, in doing that, he'd obviously neglected to teach him where to draw the line and stop with his destructive actions, because even though power and money were important and enjoyable, there was so much more to life than just those two things. JR could be the richest man in the world, but it wouldn't be much fun when he was retired and had no family to share his wealth or his life experiences with. The positive side of JR's change in attitude was the point in time where it had happened; luckily for him, he was still young and he was in an excellent life position, a much better position than a lot of men his age. He was thirty three years of age, he had a wife who adored him, a child on the way and he was completely financially stable; he had the power to use those things to his advantage and be a real man, a family man, but unfortunately, up until recently, he hadn't really understood how important or enjoyable that role was. Jock hoped that his change in attitude and behaviour was permanent though, because despite being hard on his eldest son, he always wanted him to succeed and that success included his personal happiness and the happiness of his wife and child. If giving his son the one thing he wanted was going to make him a better man, then it was worth it, because he'd seen the alternative and he didn't like it very much.

Eavesdropping on the conversation in the foyer, Bobby found himself jealous of the chumminess that his father and brother had with each other and their lawyers, he wanted to be included in things like that, but for some reason, he wasn't. "Thank you gentlemen", JR and Jock shook Harv and Brooks' hands and showed them out of the office to the elevator doors, JR grinning as the lawyers left to file the paperwork and Jock not far behind him in terms of how happy he was. In a way, everyone had gotten what they wanted, or so Jock thought; noticing Bobby in the doorway of his office as he walked back down the hall to his own office, Jock realised that there was a loser in the new order of things, his youngest son. Gary wasn't interested in Ewing Oil and he'd moved on from thinking that his middle son would ever change, but Bobby was a different story; he had never promised or led Bobby to believe that Ewing Oil would be his, but that didn't mean that Bobby didn't have a certain level of expectation about his place in the family business. In all the thoughts he'd had about JR's proposal, he hadn't even considered what would happen to his youngest son; Bobby was a capable young man, but JR was really the brains behind a lot of Ewing Oil's recent success and combined with his status as the eldest son, it only made sense to leave the company to him. Unfortunately, in not considering Bobby, he had possibly made the mistake of signing his dismissal papers; his sons weren't exactly best friends and JR could be ruthless at times and he knew that although it would probably start out ok, it probably wouldn't take long for JR to use his new power. Luckily for both Bobby and himself, he didn't plan on retiring and giving JR too much power just yet, so he still had a few years to figure out exactly how to deal with his oversight.

To be continued…


	240. Making Plans

**Dallas, Texas**

"Phone call for you Miss Sue Ellen", Teresa walked into the living room as Sue Ellen and Miss Ellie drank their tea and chatted; they hadn't had much time alone to talk when she and JR returned home from their vacation last night, so it was nice that they both had a free afternoon today. "Excuse me", Sue Ellen stood and walked out of the living room into the foyer, "hello?" she used her polite, proper voice to answer the phone, however, as she heard the slight giggle on the other end, she knew it wasn't necessary. "Polite as ever, your mama would be proud", Sue Ellen laughed as her friend finally spoke, "thank you. You know what my mama says; there's no such thing as being too polite, though I do believe my efforts are wasted on you", she was relaxed as she spoke, though she realised that it probably wasn't entirely appropriate to speak so casually when she was in an open space where her mother-in-law could hear her. Gasping in a mock-offended manner, Paula then laughed, "if I were your mother, I'd revoke your social privileges for that comment. However, luckily for you, I'm not and it would ruin my plans too if you weren't allowed to leave the house, so I'll ignore that for now", she laughed and then continued to speak.

"Now, because you seem peppy, I'm going to assume that you're not ignoring me and the fact that you didn't call me back simply means that the message I left with your niece earlier in the week never got to you. She did say something about a vacation though so I'll give you a pass, as long as you tell me all about it when I'm there. That actually brings me to the reason I called; it's President's Day on Monday, so Roger and I have decided to come back to Richardson for the weekend to visit our parents; my mama's been nagging me about not seeing enough of her grandson and Roger's mother seems to think we purposely avoid them. We'll be arriving tomorrow night and since I have a feeling that the proud grandparents will want some time alone to spoil their little grandson, I'm fairly sure that I'll have some time to myself. That brings me to our friendship; since I can't remember the last time I saw you, I know that it's been much too long, and since it would be a crime not to attempt to plan something when I'm going to be so close to Braddock, I am calling again. So please tell me that you're free sometime over the weekend? Or does the great and powerful JR Ewing have some extravagant date planned out for the two of you?" she joked about JR and Sue Ellen's past, not knowing that Sue Ellen had recently rediscovered the passion and excitement she'd originally felt for JR Ewing. Sue Ellen laughed at her old friend's comment, "well, the great JR Ewing may have something planned, Lucy told you right, we just got back from a five day anniversary vacation in Mexico; but as much as he loves me, I'm sure he can deal with being without me for a few hours. If you tell me a time when you're free, I can arrange to meet you somewhere", she smiled as she spoke, her life was good and she was happy. Making arrangements for Sunday afternoon, the two women said their goodbyes and went back to their prior activities; Sue Ellen smiled to herself as she re-entered the living room, feeling like a college girl again; her relationship with JR was exciting and her friend was right, they were well overdue for some girl time.

Hours later, Sue Ellen made her way upstairs to ready herself for JR's homecoming, he'd promised her a night out and she was determined to look nice for him. He hadn't told her the exact details about what was happening at Ewing Oil, but she knew that he and Jock were signing some important contracts concerning his future ownership and control of the company and it pleased her greatly to know that he was getting exactly what he wanted. She knew how hard he had worked to get where he was and how frustrated and disappointed he had been in the past when it appeared that Bobby was treated better than he was. The fact that he'd been a terrible husband in his pursuit of power was irrelevant right now, because they really were trying to start anew and she still believed that a wife's job was to support her husband, especially in his career. Things were different now too, she knew that Jock had drawn a hard line with JR and she knew that JR understood how serious she was about his fidelity and commitment to their marriage. She may have been infatuated with him, but she wasn't stupid, she'd forgiven him for cheating this time and they had moved on, but she was stronger and wiser now and she had made it perfectly clear that she wouldn't tolerate him going back to the way he used to be, this was it, there were no more second chances.

In pursuit of moving on from their previous issues and improving their relationship, they were both trying to be better spouses, because even though a certain sector of society believed that it was archaic and simplistic to say that men and women had certain roles and should stick to those roles, neither of them actually minded living that way. The only bad thing about their set roles as husband and wife were the silly confines that they believed came with their titles; unfortunately they had lived much too long following those traditional 'rules'. When she married JR, Sue Ellen had committed to being a good wife and she honestly intended on doing just that; JR had entered into marriage with honest intentions too, however he was much weaker than she was in terms of commitment and fidelity. The combination of the power imbalance in their relationship, their misunderstanding and miscommunication of what they each expected from the other and how they actually behaved had caused them problems. However, now that they were starting anew, neither saw anything wrong with playing the traditional husband and wife roles, they were both fairly traditional people and enjoyed the role that they had been assigned. For their marriage to work now, they just needed to make sure that they didn't limit themselves to such conservative boundaries, worked on communicating better with each other and didn't disrespect the other by acting in a way that was inappropriate for a husband or wife. It was simple and complicated all at once, because it was easy to make those commitments, but living them was a little harder; however, they were both determined to be better people now and it was a real determination, not just a surface-level commitment.

To be continued…


	241. Romantic Effort

**Dallas, Texas**

Jumping as she heard a car door slamming, Sue Ellen wandered out of her bedroom and downstairs to see what was going on; if JR was upset then it was her job to help him, and if it was someone else, then she was still interested, because all in all, she was a nosy person. Walking out onto the patio, she was passed by Bobby as he stormed angrily into the house, sliding the patio door shut so roughly that the glass shook; something was wrong and the fact that he'd been at work all day gave her a feeling that it was probably Ewing Oil related. Noticing JR's car driving along the road outside Southfork and turning into the driveway, she waited patiently for her husband to park and get out; it wouldn't be long before she knew exactly what had occurred at the office earlier.

"Ewing Oil is yours JR, you earned it and your daddy obviously thinks highly enough of you to back up your decisions and make it a legal guarantee. You're more experienced, more knowledgeable and hold a more powerful position than Bobby, and if he doesn't like that, then that's his problem, not yours", gently removing his jacket and tie, Sue Ellen calmly reiterated his thoughts and beliefs. He didn't really need her to come up with anything profound, all he wanted to hear was confirmation that he was right in his decisions and position and Bobby was wrong when he accused him of being a terrible person who was always out to get him. Sure, he didn't necessarily enjoy his brother's presence at Ewing Oil, however, he'd dealt with it and moved on and his decision to reject Bobby's natural gas proposal was purely about business, it wasn't personal. If Bobby had done his research properly, he would have known that unless a company was already established in the natural gas field, it simply wasn't worth the trouble. Natural gas was in demand, but it was also a product that had an artificially set price, one that was well below the market price, making the cost of the equipment and exploration too high in comparison to any potential benefits, especially for a company just starting in that field. Perhaps in the future it would be a good idea for Ewing Oil to expand into other areas, but once again, Bobby had come up with a dud of an idea and he didn't want to take responsibility for his own mistakes. Jock had listened and passed Bobby's proposal on to JR for further consideration, but once JR explained his opinion of the whole thing and gave the cold, hard facts about the costs and benefits, the decision was practically made for him. Unfortunately, as much as Jock wanted his youngest son to be a bigger part of Ewing Oil, he still had a long way before he was able to play at the same level. "Thank you darlin'", JR was calm as he spoke; it wasn't that he'd really been angry or upset before, he was just a little wound up from Bobby's words. Taking a step back from his annoyed thoughts, he noticed how nicely she was dressed and suddenly remembered that it was Thursday evening and he'd promised to take her out; "I'll just change clothes and then we can go. I made reservations for six thirty, I know it's a little early, but I have something else planned afterwards", he left his comment hanging before giving her a quick kiss and walking over to his wardrobe.

Leaving the restaurant after a romantic dinner, Sue Ellen giggled as she caught sight of JR's second event of the night and she felt like a college girl again as he took her hand and helped her into the horse drawn carriage. She knew it had to be hard for him to change his ways and consistently make a real effort, but she appreciated what he did do and she speculated that he secretly didn't mind being a romantic man, especially since it always brought them back to a place of intimacy and pleasure. To Sue Ellen, everything was better when love was present in their thoughts and actions, everything meant and felt like so much more, even if they were just small actions; she finally had what she'd always wanted, and even though JR wasn't particularly interested in always verbalising his feelings, she knew that he felt the same way. The combination of the chilly February air, the ambience of the carriage and sound of the horse's hooves clopping on the pavement made Sue Ellen smile and snuggle even further into her husband's welcoming arms; to her, this was a moment where everything really was perfect.

As JR held his wife close, he was reminded of when they were first dating; that had been a period in his life where he had wanted her so badly and he'd acted accordingly, charming and romancing her, showing her the best side of himself because he knew he had to make an effort to hook her and keep her. She had been different to the usual women he pursued and he'd known the moment that he'd laid eyes on her that he wanted her, from that moment doing everything he could to make sure that she was his, in the present and in the future, forever. Unfortunately though, somewhere along the way, he'd forgotten how special she was and had begun to take her for granted and mistreat her. No matter how much he tried to justify his actions as a preventative measure, the truth of the matter remained; his cheating and neglect wasn't all about protecting her ladylike status, it was partially because he was an immature man who didn't fully understand or respect the commitment he'd made on his wedding day. However, now, as they sat cuddled together under a blanket on a romantic carriage ride through Dallas, he found himself considering all the things he had going for him in his life and he realised that what his father had been trying to tell him for years was true. There came a time in a man's life where he had to re-evaluate his priorities and make changes to his actions, and over the past few weeks, he'd really been working on that, and now, he really understood the purpose and enjoyment that could come from being a one-woman, happily married man. Even though he enjoyed women and he would always enjoy women, he knew that his life was better when he shared himself with only one woman, his wife. Whispering her name, she turned toward him and looked into his eyes, they didn't need to speak, their non-verbal communication said everything and what couldn't be communicated with a look was understood through the kiss that followed.

To be continued…


	242. Friends

**Dallas, Texas**

"…you'll be great and I just know that you're going to love it. You're a natural mother figure, you're as prepared as you can be, you have a wonderful support system and I know how much and for how long you've wanted this for; you may have concerns about your ability, but I have no doubt that you'll be an excellent mother. I won't say that it's easy, because it's not, it's the hardest thing I have ever done, but it's also the best and most rewarding thing I've ever done. I love being a mother and even though, in an ideal world, I wouldn't have necessarily planned on having a baby so soon after graduation, I wouldn't change a thing". Walking around the pond at Southfork together, Sue Ellen listened and smiled as her friend gave her an encouraging speech and reflected on her own experiences, and when she paused for a moment, Sue Ellen turned toward her and hugged her tightly. She and Paula didn't see or communicate with each other nearly as often as they should have, but both women still considered the other a dear friend. Sue Ellen mentally chastised herself for being so silly in the past when she was so down and depressed, her friend may have been a busy wife and mother, but she was in a similar position when it came to real friends and they could have really helped each other over the past year. The majority of Paula's friends were mothers of her son's friends or wives of Roger's co-workers and she often missed having someone to have fun with and just talk with openly and honestly, just as Sue Ellen did. Moving to a different city or state as a young, newly married woman was not the ideal time to make friends based on one's own interests, and Paula really regretted not keeping better contact with Sue Ellen, because as much as the two had had a completely different life experiences over the past few years, their feelings often overlapped.

Pulling back from their hug after a few meaningful moments, Paula decided to change the subject, neither of them really wanted to spend the precious time they had together dwelling over the sadness of the past and a little girl-talk was exactly what they needed to improve the mood. "Now, enough about motherhood; tell me all about your marriage, because from the slightly disgusted tone of voice your little niece used, I'm assuming that something has changed since the last time we spoke", she grinned at Sue Ellen devilishly and waited for a reply. Laughing aloud, Sue Ellen couldn't believe how comfortable she was with her old college roommate; Paula was the only person who really understood the transformation she had gone through between the ages of eighteen and twenty four, and excluding JR, she was the only person she was comfortable sharing her thoughts and opinions about certain topics with. They'd known each other since freshman year, when Sue Ellen really was a naïve, very conservative young woman, but over the course of their college years, Paula had encouraged her to open up a little and introduced her to a different side of life. It was nice to have a girl friend to talk to about certain things as opposed to only JR, because it gave her a different perspective and understanding of what women should want and expect from men; it wasn't as if her mother had given her a balanced or unbiased understanding of anything of that nature. Giggling as she gathered her thoughts, Sue Ellen launched into a brief explanation of their separation and reunion, emphasising that they were over those issues and she didn't want to dwell on them, but also making sure that her friend understood how necessary their separation and argument had been to the overall health of their relationship.

Grinning at her friend's happiness, Paula laughed aloud as she realised that she had been right about JR Ewing; for some insane reason, he had been holding back on his wife, but once they broke the barriers down and began to act on what they actually wanted, everything was so much better. It made her feel proud knowing that Sue Ellen had remembered and used some of the many pieces of information that she had relayed to her over the years, it wasn't all in vain. She'd always known that Patricia Shepard's teachings were ridiculous and archaic and that deep down, Sue Ellen was just as much a sexual being as any other girl her age, and now she had confirmation that she was right. There was one thing she was a little concerned about, but she was sure Sue Ellen was just taking her time getting there, not that JR Ewing was that selfish, though if he was, it wouldn't be entirely surprising, he could be an arrogant, inconsiderate bastard at times. "It's a little limiting being pregnant, but we're making it work, and I can't complain", Sue Ellen finished her brief overview of their relationship developments and waited for her friend to respond. Pausing for a moment as she processed everything Sue Ellen had said, Paula knew she had to say something, "I'm very happy for you and I'm very pleased that you two finally dropped the stuffy, conservative veil, however, in my honest opinion, I do think you're being a little short-changed here… You speak a lot about the things you do for him and it sounds like you're pleased with the distribution of power, however, there is one area where I think you need to be more upfront with your wants. If I know men, they always expect to receive, but they need a little nudge before giving and from what you're saying, JR is no exception to that generalisation. I'd be careful about accusing him of being selfish, because men hate that word, so I'd try a more subtle approach first, and then if he doesn't take the hint, then you can call him selfish, because I guarantee he knows exactly what you want. Next time you get to that point and he starts moving back up instead of going for it, do exactly what he does to you when he wants a little more attention, push him down, direct his attention to where you want it and if you must, exaggerate your reaction for a little while to boost his ego. Men are very sensitive about their ability to please a woman when it comes to using anything other than the obvious, but I guarantee you, he'll loosen up after a while, especially if he sees or hears that you're enjoying it, and then all of a sudden, you're faking won't be so fake anymore…" She winked at Sue Ellen and then shrugged, Sue Ellen may have been a good girl in college, but she certainly wasn't; she knew what she wanted and what she liked and she wasn't a pushover; if a man wanted it from her, then she expected a little reciprocation, it was only polite.

Not at all shocked about the logical information her friend had given her, Sue Ellen felt a little nervous about actually putting the instructions into action, however, if her previous experience with Paula's advice was anything to go by, JR wasn't that different to a lot of men in that respect and she should at least try it. "I'll remember that", she shook her head and grinned to herself as she tucked the information away in the back of her mind; Paula was right, she needed to stop being so meek and start being more direct about exactly what she wanted, because not saying anything was the worst way to resolve a their miscommunication issues. Continuing their afternoon of girl talk as they walked around an empty field on the ranch, one of the only places they actually had space to be alone and talk openly, without fear of being overheard, Sue Ellen smiled to herself as she realised how much she had missed and benefitted from having someone to talk to openly and honestly. Miss Ellie was a kind, sensible woman and Sue Ellen did consider her a friend, but first and foremost she was her mother-in-law, not a friend; what she needed was a real friend, preferably someone her own age and of her own generation. They had graduated college almost four years ago, but in that time, Sue Ellen still hadn't managed to find anyone who fit the bill as well as Paula did; she needed someone to laugh and have fun with, someone to support her when she was down, and someone to call her out when she was wrong or being wronged. It felt good to finally feel like a young, happy woman again; her life was good in most aspects right now and she could only see it improving.

To be continued…


	243. Satisfaction and Dissatisfaction

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen smiled to herself as she left the building and walked back to her car; she had had a satisfying morning, sorting through the available clothes and styling them to suit the women who the organization was helping and she felt good about her efforts and how they affected others. She loved having something all of her own to focus on and she loved actually getting some personal reward from her work; she'd always participated in charitable work, on her own to boost her extracurricular involvement in the community, as a pageant queen and as Mrs JR Ewing, however, this was something that was different, this felt different. Yes, she had gotten the job through her DOA connections and being Mrs JR Ewing, but her role now was simply the same as any other volunteer with an eye for fashion; she worked with a small group of other women, but within that group, she was the only 'socialite'. Although she had never really been known to socialise with anyone too far outside of her socioeconomic circle, and if she did, they were always in a social class above her own, she was rather enjoying the experience she was getting with her new job. At the root of everything was the desire to improve other women's lives, it was a human to human connection, it wasn't a cause where the Ewing wealth was a major factor or something that was purely to make a certain group of privileged women feel like better people and boost their public image. She felt good having real goals and accomplishments and she enjoyed having an external commitment in her life again. Heading back to Southfork to collect Miss Ellie, she spent the rest of the day meeting with the DOA ladies, planning their next fundraiser and then socialising and having tea with them after the meeting was over. She really did enjoy planning, organizing and actually accomplishing goals and being an active member on as many committees as possible really benefitted her as a person as well as the people they were trying to help. She loved being a wife, but the fact of the matter was that JR worked long hours and she couldn't simply just sit around during the day counting down the hours until he came home again, it wasn't good for her and it wasn't good for their marriage.

Across town, JR sat in his office as he read over pages and pages of tedious paperwork, he really did need to read the documents and Ewing Oil would benefit from having a vice president who was knowledgeable and aware of up-to-date information, however, the business benefits weren't the only reason he was hidden away in his office. A little part of him was also purposely avoiding his younger brother, for everyone's sake; Bobby still seemed to be annoyed with him about using his authority to deny his prospective business expansion idea and frankly, after almost a week, JR was sick of dealing with his pouting and bratty attitude. Jock happened to agree with JR's position on the issue of natural gas, however, he also had a personal soft spot for his youngest son and he didn't like the idea of having an ongoing conflict between his sons. What he wanted to happen was for everyone to move on from this one issue but to still encourage Bobby to keep working at his role within the company and expanding his knowledge and understanding, however, it was no secret that what JR wanted couldn't have been further from that. Therefore, instead of pretending to act like everything was ok, JR simply avoided his brother, working independently in his office and planning on staying that way until Bobby left for Houston in the morning. He had arranged for Bobby's PR position at Ewing Oil for a particular reason and after dealing with his brother hanging around the office for a week, doing nothing but moan about how unfair JR was, he was beginning to wish they had more out-of-town connections that needed persuading. In an ideal world, he would be the only Ewing son at Southfork, perhaps even the only Ewing son, at least until his own son was born, but unfortunately, he wasn't living in an ideal world and he had two brothers, two brothers that were not on the same level as him in his mind. Of course, Bobby was better than Gary, and as people, they got along well enough, but that was their personal lives, business was different and he was just about done with having another Ewing son working at Ewing Oil.

He didn't even want to think about his father dying, but he couldn't say he wasn't looking forward to a future where he and he alone owned and operated Ewing Oil; he couldn't wait to have complete control. He hadn't decided Bobby's fate yet, because it seemed too far in the future to know exactly what their needs would be and whether he could use Bobby to his advantage, but at times like this, he began to question his own sanity and wonder why he would even consider including his younger brother in the business. JR's preferred method of dealing with his youngest brother was generally to leave him to stew for a while and then carefully directing him to focus on a new project, distracting him like he would a child. As much as he wished Bobby would just listen to his rational explanation for his decisions and not jump to the conclusion that he was out to get him, the reality was that Bobby was a hothead and when he was angry, all thoughts of rational conversation went out the window. Physical conflict resolution wasn't JR's style, so other, more passive methods would have to do in the meantime, at least until he could get rid of Bobby once and for all. He didn't like avoidance, but Bobby's spoiled child act wasn't worth getting physical over and with his father around keeping an eye on his eldest son's behaviour, JR knew better than to try anything underhanded, at least for now.

Arriving home just before five, Sue Ellen headed upstairs to get ready for cocktails and dinner; just because she knew better than to spend all day at home pining for her husband, didn't mean that she didn't still want to look nice and be there for him in the hours that they were together. She still took her role as a wife very seriously, she just knew now that she had to have more than just being Mrs JR Ewing, she had to be Sue Ellen, whether it was Sue Ellen Shepard or Sue Ellen Ewing, she had to do something for herself. However, her self-indulgence didn't need to take over her life, just as her selflessness didn't need to take over her life; it was all about balance and she finally understood that. Hearing JR's car parking in the driveway, she smiled to herself and made her way downstairs to greet him, she was his wife and she wanted to be the best wife that she could and that meant making the effort to really be there for him, no matter what the circumstances.

To be continued…


	244. Pep Talk

**Dallas, Texas**

Kneeling on the bed behind her husband, Sue Ellen gently traced a pattern over his back with her finger, "just relax JR", placing a light kiss on his shoulder, she willed him to let go of his conflict with Bobby and focus on what was important right now, them. Over the past few days, family dinners had been tense and she had spent a large majority of the time wondering whether they would ever get away from the Ewing Oil drama. There was no real line between business and personal problems in the lives of the Ewing family, because the men of the family not only worked together all day, they also lived in the same house and hadn't grasped the concept of leaving business at the office, so unfortunately, they ended up bringing their issues home with them. When things were good at Ewing Oil, they were good at Southfork, the family got along well and it wasn't uncommon for champagne and caviar to be served in celebration of their many successes; however, with the good came the bad and when there was a divide at the office, there was also a divide at Southfork. The concept of the whole family living together and the men working together was a nice idea in general, but the reality was often less enjoyable. Tense interactions laced with snide remarks and subtle glares didn't exactly provide the basis for a relaxing environment and staying focused on the positive side of their marriage was a lot harder when they were surrounded by so much uncertainty and negativity. "Don't let Bobby get to you, he's not worth it. Everyone knows you're the better oilman, even your daddy; you're also the smartest man I know and as long as you stay rational and calm, you're right on track to gain control of Ewing Oil. When you're the president, you'll be able do whatever you want with Bobby and if I know you, he'll soon be wishing he was nicer to you", she grinned at him for a moment and leaned around from her position to give him a light kiss on his cheek. It was an odd paradox, as much as she knew how badly the power JR Ewing held could hurt a person and never wanted to personally experience his manipulation and control first-hand again, there was something so sexy and alluring about seeing him use his power and wits to manipulate and control a situation that she wasn't personally involved in. She loved seeing him succeed and she would always encourage his success, she just wanted to be by his side, not the victim of his schemes.

Listening to his wife's encouraging words, JR felt silly for caring what Bobby said or did as much as he had. Of course, he didn't like being made out to be the bad guy in the situation, that wasn't a fair judgement at all, but Sue Ellen was right, Bobby wasn't worth getting upset over and he certainly wasn't anyone to really worry about in business. The time would come where Bobby would be wishing he had just sat back and accepted the decisions that were made for him and the tasks that were delegated to him. In a few years, when JR finally had control of the company, there would be no more coddling and encouragement for his younger brother when it came to his role in Ewing Oil and he would be out of the company at the first sign of trouble, wishing that he hadn't grown so used to challenging authority. Considering Sue Ellen's words, JR acknowledged that in a moment of weakness, he had allowed Bobby's attitude to get to him, however, her small dose of encouragement had brought him back to his original perspective and mind-set; ignore and distract was the game plan right now, elimination had to wait. "That's a lesson a lot of people could do with learning; making an enemy of JR Ewing is never a good idea, because I don't forget those who choose to do that and I certainly don't forgive easily. It could be a week, a month, a year or even a few years, but I will always get the final word and I will always win; I make sure of it", he let out a loud, sinister laugh and it was apparent that his earlier mood of annoyance and slight upset was gone and his cockiness had returned.

Listening to his tone of voice changing, Sue Ellen grinned to herself; she didn't want or need to know the exact details of his business dealings, she just enjoyed knowing that he was as sneaky and powerful as ever and he had no plans to change the way he lived in that respect. As long as their relationship remained strong, she didn't particularly care what he had to do to make things work; she was a little selfish in that way, she liked the benefits that came from having a wealthy and powerful husband and when things were good in their lives, she wasn't too concerned about the particulars. Unsure of where to go next, having sorted the present issue and moved past it, there really wasn't much more she could say without repeating their conversation, Sue Ellen decided to be assertive and move their evening along a little. "There's something positively evil about that laugh and I love it", she complimented him briefly before moving toward what she wanted; gently biting his neck and directing her attention to his lips, she unbuttoned his shirt and lightly ran her fingertips over his bare chest. Their evening was going to end up in one place and she saw no reason why they should wait any longer and apparently, neither did JR; pulling her from her position half behind him and half next to him, onto his lap. Making a mental note of the way she quickly reacted to his hints of mischief, he wasted no time attempting to talk or even think about anything other than his wife right now, and with her firmly where he wanted her, he moved his attention toward participating equally and fully in their undressing and embrace.

**Author's Note: Opening scene inspired by the episode **_**The Ewing Blues**_**, not so much the dialogue, but the general setting (I know some of you like to watch the corresponding scenes) :)**


	245. Quid pro quo

**Dallas, Texas**

Sue Ellen's confidence was boosted as she briefly made eye contact with her husband from her position at the end of the bed; from the look in his eyes and the sounds that filled the room, there was no doubt in her mind that he enjoyed what she was doing. It made her feel good to know that she was responsible for the way he felt, because in a way, she was still self-conscious about her overall inexperience, so it always pleased her when she could tell that he was genuinely reacting positively to her efforts. It wasn't that she was selfish, because she genuinely did enjoy trying new things and giving him pleasure, however, in the back of her mind, she also reasoned that if she gave him a positive experience now, then he was more likely to be receptive to returning the favour later on. Looking down at his wife and running a hand though her hair, JR felt the same feeling of regret that he'd had many times over the past month. He had been a total fool to assume things in regard to his wife and her feelings, because his assumptions couldn't have been further from the truth and in making those false assumptions, he'd allowed them to waste almost two years of marriage and had dug them some deep holes that they'd had a hard time getting out of. In marrying his wife, he hadn't locked himself into a lifetime of discontent, he had just allowed himself to believed that he had, however, now, he understood that their marriage was about them, not silly, restrictive ideas about what marriage should look like. "Darlin'…" he had enough regard for her to warn her that if she kept going, things may not go where she wanted them and he couldn't be held entirely responsible for that. She was smart enough to take him seriously and wasn't nearly selfless enough to only want for his satisfaction, so upon hearing his words, she began to move her attention back up his body, eventually capturing his lips as she hovered over him. It was an odd thing, with other women, he was always a down to business kind of man, however, with his wife, he actually enjoyed the intimacy that came with the touching and kissing between activities and it frequently surprised him just how nice it felt to be affectionate. It could mean nothing, but he had a feeling that it was an indication of just how strong his feelings for her were; he really did love her and she was different to the other women he had had in his life, different in a very good way.

Surprised when she didn't make any moves to further their actions, he took the initiative and gently rolled her onto her back. He was careful to make sure she was propped up by pillows, because although he didn't really understand why it was necessary, she had insisted that her doctor had recommended it and honestly, it was easier to just do it instead of questioning her. Knowing that although she didn't say it as often as she thought it, she definitely enjoyed when he paid attention to her body, he wasted no time in refocusing his attention on her, running his fingertips along her curves as his lips moved down her neck toward his new favourite part of her body thanks to her pregnancy, her chest. Enjoying the soft sighs that came from his actions, he continued his journey down her body, stopping at her growing belly for a moment to appreciate her as his wife and the mother of his child before feeling her hands in his hair, gently pushing him further downward. It appeared that she was willing him to keep moving, so he did, continuing to run his hands along her soft skin as he placed little kisses on her belly and moved further south. Knowing that it was up to her to make sure he knew exactly what she wanted from him, Sue Ellen emphasised her reaction to his actions, though it wasn't too much of an overstatement as his hands moved toward her inner things and his lips followed. She really did take great pleasure from his attention, she just wanted to make sure that he followed through with what he began, because in the past, it hadn't always happened the way she wanted it to.

Noting a marked difference in her reaction, JR was a little confused; it wasn't as if he didn't know exactly what she was hinting at, he was just wondering why now? It was something he had only done for her a few times and although she always seemed to enjoy it, they'd been back together for over a month and she never seemed to demand it the way it felt like she was right now. Of all the things they did in the bedroom, this wasn't exactly what he considered his strong suit and her submissiveness and lack of complaint when he didn't follow through with his actions in the past only pushed him into thinking that his original assumptions were confirmed. In a silly way, he reasoned that if he wasn't the best at something, then he didn't need to keep trying to pretend that he was, especially when it was such a minor thing and there were many other things he considered himself a master of. It wasn't that he was bad at it, because he knew he wasn't and even if he were, he probably wouldn't admit it, however, it was something he didn't do for a lot of women, so his ego was smaller in relation to feedback on that activity. He expected it from the women he was with, but to return the favour was reserved for women he really cared about and he could count on one hand the number of women he'd pleased in that way. All things considered though, if Sue Ellen was making it clear that she wanted him in that way and he really did love her, then there didn't really seem any logical reason why he should refuse her, especially when she had gone the extra mile for him more than a few times. Setting himself a personal challenge to maximise her pleasure, partially because he wanted her to feel good, but also in an effort to boost his own ego, he threw himself into doing exactly what she wanted and if her moans and sighs were anything to go by, his personal challenge was a complete success. Although she noticed and was a little curious at first about the lack of protest to her prompts, Sue Ellen's conscious thoughts were soon clouded by the intense pleasure that she was receiving and questioning anything logically was the furthest thing from her mind. Grinning to himself as he worked, JR had no doubt in his mind that he was good and that if she was reacting this well to a simple gesture like this, then they were in for an exciting and satisfying evening.

To be continued…


	246. Compromise

**Dallas, Texas**

The next few weeks passed relatively uneventfully as Bobby was sent back out on the road and JR began to relax again; with Bobby gone for a few weeks and JR secure in the knowledge that he was still the second most powerful Ewing, the tension was automatically lowered and it was noticeable within the family. With the improved state of JR and Sue Ellen's marriage and their loving behaviour becoming more of a norm and less of a novelty for everyone at Southfork to observe and discuss, things around the house were fairly quiet and civil and the calm after the previous drama filled months was a welcome change for Sue Ellen. Even if she was sometimes physically uncomfortable, now being in her sixth month of pregnancy, at least she felt mentally and emotionally stable and loved; it really was a world away from the way her life had been at the beginning of the year.

Returning to Southfork after their DOA meeting, Miss Ellie decided that it was time to ask Sue Ellen to make some definitive plans; she was getting closer and closer to her due date and being an excited grandmother, she really didn't want Sue Ellen to miss out on celebrating her pregnancy and the upcoming birth of her child. "Sue Ellen?" taking a seat outside at the patio table, she gestured Sue Ellen to join her for some tea and unaware of the direction her mother-in-law wanted to take the conversation, Sue Ellen sat down without question. "I was wondering whether you'd put any more thought into what we discussed last week… about your baby shower", Miss Ellie decided to just ask her directly, because if she was still insistent that she didn't want a baby shower, then she didn't have to have one, however, she really did want her to consider it before just saying no. Tradition and etiquette stated that a close family member should not be the one to host the event, but knowing that Sue Ellen didn't have a whole lot of close friends, Miss Ellie had already made an exception to the rule in her mind, even before she had been contacted by Sue Ellen's former college best friend. Unfortunately, although she wanted to do something nice for her friend, Paula lived in a different state and wasn't able to easily plan an event for Sue Ellen without knowing specific details, so in an effort to alleviate the stress on herself and give Sue Ellen the shower she deserved, she had called Miss Ellie to fish for information. She hadn't intended to have Sue Ellen's mother-in-law actually plan the event, she just wanted someone who had a better idea of who to invite and where to host the party, but being so busy with her own life and so disconnected from Texas life, she had unintentionally dropped the ball and left Miss Ellie to take over the planning. It wasn't something Miss Ellie minded at all though, she was pleased that someone else was thinking along the same lines as she was and event planning was something she had experience in and enjoyed, so it wasn't a bother to her.

Sighing at Miss Ellie's words, Sue Ellen's mood dropped; of course, in an ideal world, she would love to have a large baby shower, surrounded by lots of friends and family, similar to how her bridal shower had been, however, what she envisioned and what the reality of her life was were two different things. She didn't like to admit to herself, or to others that even if she was feeling happy and fulfilled with the way her marriage was, the way her charitable pursuits were playing out and the fact that she was about to become a mother, she really didn't have a lot of close friends to celebrate those things with. If she knew Miss Ellie, she would want to invite all of the DOA ladies and honestly, that was the last thing she wanted. Those women were the biggest gossipers she knew and the fact that they would be the majority of the guests at the shower would only add to what they already assumed; that even if Sue Ellen was Mrs JR Ewing and a former Miss Texas, when her titles were stripped away, she was mostly just a lonely, largely friendless woman. Clearing her throat, she spoke, "yes, I did, and I agree, it is something that's supposed to be fun and enjoyable and it would be nice to celebrate the baby before he or she gets here. However, if there's going to be a party, I would like it to be a small one. Please", she looked pleadingly at Miss Ellie as she spoke and hoped that she understood where she was coming from. She had agreed to the idea simply because she knew that Miss Ellie would be upset if she refused her offer to host a baby shower, because this was really the first grandchild she was allowed to participate in the preparation for and be excited about. The circumstances surrounding Valene's pregnancy and Lucy's birth had been less than ideal and she hadn't had a whole lot of time to really enjoy the small moments, so with Sue Ellen's pregnancy, she was determined to do everything in her power to make it an enjoyable and memorable experience. Sue Ellen didn't have the heart to tell her she didn't want her to put so much effort into the small things, so she reluctantly agreed, though she tried to at least hold on to some of the power. "Small is fine", Miss Ellie smiled, she was just pleased that they'd come to an agreement without too much of a struggle; even if a small event wasn't what she had originally planned, it was about Sue Ellen and her baby, so if she wanted a small shower, then that was ok too. "Would you be able to make me a list of who you'd like to invite? We can handle the rest of the planning ourselves", she smiled at her daughter-in-law as she offered her the power to control the guest list, because she sensed that that was what Sue Ellen's insistence for a small party was all about. "I can do that", reaching out to touch her hand lovingly, she smiled at Miss Ellie; she really was a lovely woman and it was a nice gesture to offer to throw her a baby shower, "thank you", she meant what she said, she was thankful to have married a man with a mother who cared so much about her. "You're welcome dear. Now, would you like some tea?" sensing that Sue Ellen didn't want to get into a long discussion, she decided to take what she could get and move on, at least for now.

To be continued…


	247. Forethought

**Dallas, Texas**

"…and the classes, how have you been finding those?" Doctor Krane questioned Sue Ellen as she made a few notes on her patient file; medically, everything appeared to be progressing normally and healthily, but she was still obliged to ask questions to get a real human perspective of her patient's wellbeing. "They're good; we've hired a baby nurse to help us after the birth, but I still find it comforting and enlightening to learn all of this information for myself, so I'm informed enough to make my own decisions", although she had a number of fears and worries about motherhood, the classes her obstetrician had recommended were definitely helping. She'd always wanted to be a mother, but now that it was almost time, her old fears about repeating her own mother's mistakes had returned. She was about to have a large influence on shaping another person's life and that was a scary thought, however, even just the basic goal of keeping a child alive and healthy was something she had been incredibly nervous about. In telling JR of her worries, she was supported, though not in the way that was constructively helpful; JR was a fairly traditional man when it came to parenthood, he held the belief that if she were a sane, supported and prepared woman, then she needn't worry about how the baby would turn out, because everything would fall into place. Despite the fact that his own childhood hadn't been one where relatively sane, stable parents had automatically turned him into a well-rounded man, he had no doubts that he and Sue Ellen would be different to their own parents and wouldn't repeat their mistakes. They were well aware of their own parents' errors and in his mind that meant that they were already ahead of the game, because awareness and purposeful difference was a major step toward being the loving parents they wanted to be, not the unfair, sometimes-unkind parents they had grown up with. Sue Ellen enjoyed hearing that he had confidence in their abilities, however, learning and gaining a real, concrete knowledge about parenting was something that she needed for her own peace of mind.

"Good, good… and JR? Have you discussed what we spoke about last week? It's not the right choice for every couple, we understand that, however, with the recent social changes, the hospital is obliged to inform expectant mothers that husbands are welcome to be a little more present. Now, that doesn't mean he has to be in the room for the birth, because I understand that a lot of couples absolutely do not want that, however, I wouldn't discount how beneficial it can be for a labouring mother to have someone there for personal support, prior to the actual birth". Nodding as she listened to her doctor, Sue Ellen thought back to the previous week; she had already had an idea of what JR would say to her suggestion, but she'd asked him anyway; "we discussed it. I think we're more on the traditional side when it comes to childbirth and parenting…" she wasn't going to mention that JR had scoffed at the idea of actually being present to support her personally, however, the meek, quiet tone of voice she used was enough for Doctor Krane to get the gist of what she meant. "That's fine, as I said, it's not for everyone", she smiled weakly at Sue Ellen and felt a little sorry for her, though she knew she had to stay objective and professional about it; it wasn't ethical or helpful to offer her personal opinion on the thoughts and actions of JR Ewing. As their standard check-up ended, Sue Ellen had mixed feelings; on one hand, she was excited and keenly anticipating meeting her baby, but on the other, she was nervous and worried about everything that could go wrong or not turn out the way she wanted it to. Calming herself down as she made her way back to Southfork, she decided to try to not dwell too much on what she couldn't control, because she knew she would drive herself crazy if she did.

Walking into their bedroom after arriving home from work, JR was confused about his wife's whereabouts; she was usually so predictable, always appearing in the driveway as he parked or waiting for him in the bedroom as he came upstairs, however, she was in neither place tonight. Walking out of the bedroom and down the hall, he noticed one of the bedroom doors was slightly ajar and walking into the completed nursery, he spotted his wife. "Darlin'…" he spoke softly as to not startle her and when she turned around to look at him, he was surprised at the way he felt. Despite the fact that she was always trying to convince him that she was strong and didn't need to be coddled, deep down, she really was a fragile young woman and he needed to be there for her when she was emotional, even if he didn't fully understand her emotions. Walking toward her husband, Sue Ellen ceded control of her emotions and fell into his arms, crying not for any particular reason other than having just put her life into perspective; everything she had ever wanted was real and happening now and that was both a happy and scary thought. For once, everything was clear to JR and he really understood that what she needed and wanted from him right now weren't words of encouragement or reassurance, she just needed him; his presence and understanding were enough.

**Austin, Texas**

Opening her mail on Saturday morning, Patricia Shepard was slightly surprised to find a yellow and green card and opening it, she found herself smiling at the invitation; it pleased her to know that although JR Ewing had threatened to cut her out of her daughter and grandchild's life, it hadn't happened quite yet. Walking inside the house, she placed the invitation next to the phone and made a mental note to call and RSVP later on in the day, because right now, she had to take Kristin to her dance class and there was no way in hell she was going to be late to that. She'd managed to marry her eldest daughter off to a wealthy man, but there was no guarantee that her youngest daughter was heading in the same direction, however, she intended on doing everything she could to make it happen and if winning a beauty pageant had worked for Sue Ellen, then she assumed it would work for Kristin too.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: From what I understand after a little Googling, the changes around men in the delivery room was a late 1960's-early 1970's thing, so for 1972, it seemed logical to at least mention it.**


	248. Disruption

**Dallas, Texas**

After a long afternoon of relaxing by the pool and not-so-discretely flirting with her husband, Sue Ellen excused herself under the guise of needing to get out of the sun, slipping back into the house, making her way upstairs to 'rest'. JR knew exactly what his wife meant when she made her excuses to go inside, because he felt it too; the energy between them this afternoon was electric and he wanted to get away from prying eyes just as much as she did, so a few minutes after she left, he too made his excuses to leave the family gathering. Entering the bedroom, he barely had time to shut the door before his wife attacked him, pushing him back against the door and thrusting her tongue into his mouth, not that he minded, she was just taking the direct approach to what they were going to end up doing anyway. "You took so long to come upstairs", she made a brief comment before resuming their physical contact, working on quickly ridding them of their clothes.

"Sue Ellen!" jumping slightly as she heard the loud banging on the door and Lucy's insistent tone, she called out to answer, eventually deducing that her mother was on the phone and was asking to speak with her, even after being told that she was resting. "Thank you Lucy, I'll take the call in here", sighing to herself, she leaned toward the nightstand, "good afternoon mama", she tried to sound perky and interested as she reluctantly picking up the phone, however, she wasn't doing a particularly good job, because speaking to her mother was the last thing she wanted to be doing right now. Reluctantly, she gently pushed JR away from her and as her mother began to speak, she cursed her ability to make her presence felt at the most inconvenient times, as if she were trying to interrupt. She would have gladly chosen JR over her mother if she'd had the choice, however, she didn't, not really; Patricia Shepard was always on the lookout for weakness and now that she had her eldest daughter on the phone, Sue Ellen knew she was trapped and she couldn't afford to only dedicate part of her attention to their conversation. "Sue Ellen dear, how are you?" Sue Ellen was in no mood to be talking, but she put some effort in anyway, "I'm fine mama, how are you?" JR listened to his wife's conversation and grinned to himself mischievously as he continued with their previous actions, there was no way he was going to let Patricia Shepard ruin his afternoon with his wife and if he had to get rid of her himself, he would. Gasping quietly as JR placed light kisses on her cheek and neck, Sue Ellen found it difficult to concentrate on anything her mother had to say, and when JR moved his attention to her chest, she bit her tongue to avoid yelling at her mother for calling at such an inopportune time. "I'm fine dear. I was calling to respond to the baby shower invitation I received in the mail this morning…" waiting for a response and feeling confused when she didn't get one, she spoke again, "Sue Ellen?" Patricia's voice trilled through the telephone as she realised that she didn't have her daughter's full attention, "what's going on there?" Sue Ellen tried to push JR off her, though it was a fairly weak attempt, because she was rather enjoying his actions, they just happened to be poorly timed. "Nothing mama. What was it that you were saying?" she managed to race through her words before covering the mouthpiece for a moment as she let out an unavoidable moan at the attention JR was giving her breasts. Grinning to himself, JR found some kind of entertainment in provoking a reaction from his wife while she was in no good position to respond, and feeling naughty, he decided to have a little fun with her for a while; it wasn't as if she had to talk to her mother right now, she could always call back.

"Oh? Mhm, I agree, yes mama", listening to her mother prattle on, Sue Ellen gave her standard lines, ones that required little to no real thought, because, at the moment, she wasn't exactly capable of thinking clearly and holding a conversation. Gasping aloud in surprise as JR moved his attention further south, she knew she had to end the call soon, because knowing JR, he wasn't about stop his actions. "Sue Ellen?" Patricia sounded annoyed and confused, she clearly knew something was going on, but she had no idea what it was, "are you even listening to me?" she heard her daughter giggle before she responded and she began to work out what was happening on the other end of the line. "Sue Ellen Shepard!..." just as she was about to launch into a speech about boundaries, as if she was reprimanding her teenage daughter, she was cut off by Sue Ellen, "Ewing mama, Sue Ellen Ewing. I have to go. I'll call you back this evening. Goodbye", she made a quick move to hang up, though her hurried efforts weren't particularly good and the phone was still connected to her mother's end until she hung up herself. "Sue Ellen Ewing!" Patricia didn't even realise that her daughter had attempted to hang up on her until she heard a loud gasp and then a pleasured moan, and at that point, she'd heard enough of her daughter's improper actions for one day, making her own move to hang up. Disgusted, Patricia shook her head; Sue Ellen may be a married woman, one who was perfectly entitled to participate in such activities, however, there was no excuse for acting so inappropriately in front of company, even if that company was on the other end of the telephone; it just wasn't ladylike. Chuckling to himself as he heard her hurried goodbye, JR intensified his actions; he may have started out simply trying to get rid of his annoying mother-in-law, however, now that she was gone, he was just as dedicated to pleasing his wife and eventually, himself. In the back of her mind, Sue Ellen knew she was in for an embarrassing lecture when she eventually did call her mother back and did see her in person at her baby shower in a couple of weeks, however, right now, that was the last thing on her mind. Because despite JR's initial cautiousness concerning his current activity, he was good, very good, and when she had JR's attention, nothing else was important enough to warrant present thoughts.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thanks for the recent reviews :) ****I would love a little feedback on the intimacy vs story ratio though. I don't mind writing it and from the reviews, you all seem to enjoy it, but I always want to keep in mind what people want to read. So, how often is enough vs too much? I try to spread it out so it's every few chapters right now**


	249. Decorum

**Dallas, Texas**

Having made the mistake of not listening to his mother's words properly and agreeing without thinking about what he was agreeing to, JR now stood next to his wife in the airport arrivals terminal as he waited for Patricia and Kristin's flight to land. The baby shower was planned for later in the day and although he had no plans to be at Southfork while it was happening, he had been unable to think of a good excuse fast enough to get out of meeting his mother-in-law and sister-in-law at the airport. However, despite the fact that he wasn't at all looking forward to seeing Patricia, she brought nothing but trouble and unpleasantness with her wherever she went, he was still in a relatively good mood. As much as he disliked her, he loved her daughter and for that, he was willing to put up with Patricia; he loved seeing Sue Ellen happy and he loved being the one that was largely responsible for her happiness, especially after their recent rollercoaster of relationship developments; if Sue Ellen was in a good mood, then so was he. Returning her mother's call had been awkward for Sue Ellen after the way their previous discussion had ended and although she still didn't particularly want to see her family in person, the thought of facing her mother now wasn't as scary as it had been previously and she wasn't dreading it the way she had in the past. She and JR had reached a new point in their relationship and the way she felt as an individual as well as a spouse meant that even if she still had moments of quiet submissiveness, she wasn't the pushover she had been in the past and her mother's empty threats were nothing but words. It had taken her years to figure out, but she understood it now, she was the more powerful one in their relationship and it was silly for her to fear her mother's wrath and punishment; Patricia needed Sue Ellen and JR more than they needed her and it was stupid to act as if she held the upper hand.

Spotting Patricia and Kristin walking toward them, JR put on his friendliest smile and turned on his Texan charm, "Patricia", nodding at his mother-in-law and ignoring the glare she was giving him, he didn't let her negative vibe ruin his good mood. Patricia Shepard was an annoyance he had to deal with, but she wasn't a real threat, she could glare all she wanted, he didn't care what she thought, not anymore. In addition to having been married for over two years, the fact of the matter was that he and Sue Ellen hadn't done anything wrong and it was ridiculous for her to treat him as if he were some horny boy who had deflowered her teenage daughter. Technically, that judgement wasn't entirely inaccurate; as her husband, he had had the honour of being her first and only, even if she had been twenty two and he thirty at the time, not teenagers at all, though it hadn't stopped her mother from treating her as such. However, the fact that he and Sue Ellen were intimately involved at all though was beside the point; they were all adults, even Sue Ellen, and despite what Patricia liked to believe, she was no longer the main authority figure in her daughter's life. That was JR's place now and even he was learning to be a little lenient when it came to using that authority; if anything, their history together had proven that they were in a better place when they held a near equal amount of power in their marriage, at least in principle. It was fine for Sue Ellen to be the quiet, submissive wife and JR to be the authoritative husband in a general respect, but beyond that, at the heart of their marriage, they needed to have open communication and equality of choice with each other. Finally, after almost five years together and two years of marriage, it appeared that they had reached a point in their relationship where they both understood their needs and what worked for them and to be opening their relationship to new ideas and experiences was difficult enough to begin with without Patricia making them feel bad about it.

"JR", Patricia curtly spoke his name and continued to glare at him as he collected their bags and then returned to his place next to her daughter as they left the airport. It wasn't that she hugely disliked JR Ewing or disliked the idea of her daughter being in a marriage where she actually gained some kind of satisfaction and enjoyment from her role as a wife, it was just that she had high moral standards and she was easily offended. She was annoyed, from what she had observed lately, neither JR nor Sue Ellen's behaviour indicated that they had much regard for social politeness any longer and it infuriated her to see that all of her hard work was coming undone. She didn't like the idea of her daughter being seen in any way other than as a perfect lady and she could already see the corrupting influence JR Ewing's immorality was having on Sue Ellen and she didn't like it one bit. Although the evidence in front of her stated nothing more than that JR and Sue Ellen appeared to be a polite, happily married couple, she still didn't like where she assumed their relationship had gone and what was beneath the surface. She had raised Sue Ellen as a lady and she had expected her to remember the rules and guidelines she had been raised with and to live by those teachings, whether she was in public or private. Broadcasting their intimate moments, or even being as casual about it as she had appeared to be was enough to cause Patricia to express her disapproval, no matter how antiquated, silly or nosy it seemed to do so. She reasoned that someone had to be responsible for keeping Sue Ellen on the right track and if neither she nor JR were going to do it, then the task fell to her and she wasn't going to sit back and say nothing. She relied a lot on Sue Ellen's name and reputation to get her things and if she could make sure that her reputation stayed favourable, then she would do just that, and the first step to making sure that happened was making sure Sue Ellen understood that just because she was married, didn't mean she wasn't still a Shepard. Staying quiet for the moment, knowing that it would be easier to get to her daughter without JR present, she stuck with general topics of small talk on the way back to Southfork; she and Sue Ellen would have a real conversation later, but right now was not the time or place for that conversation.

To be continued…


	250. Goals and Promises

**Dallas, Texas**

"Patricia", escorting his wife and in-laws toward the house, JR took advantage of the brief moment he had to get Patricia alone, asking her to hang back for a second before they entered the house. He needed her to understand the new rules before he left for the day, but he knew that his opportunities to communicate the new order of things would be few and far between once they were grouped together with his family. Looking at him blankly, Patricia gave nothing away, not a glare, not a smile, not a thought, she appeared to be receptive to what he had to say and that surprised him, she wasn't usually the type of woman who liked to let other people speak and make the decisions. However, in this case, she was smart enough to know that JR Ewing was one of her primary benefactors and she would be stupid to openly defy his requests.

Wandering inside the house with Kristin by her side, Sue Ellen noticed that her mother and husband didn't follow and in a moment of selfishness, she was glad that JR had taken the initiative to pull her mother aside. She knew her mother would never really change and even if JR persuaded her to act nicely and politely, deep down, she would still be thinking the exact same way she always had and the congenial act would be just that, an act, however, she wasn't at all upset by it. She didn't want to hear her mother's criticisms and if her mother didn't say them aloud, then it was easier to pretend that they didn't exist; all she wanted was a nice, quiet family life and with a newly faithful husband and their baby arriving very soon, she wasn't prepared to allow her mother to ruin that fantasy anymore. Pleased that Lucy was in a good mood and offered to bring Kristin upstairs show her her new dolls and outfits, something both girls enjoyed, even if they tried to pretend they were too old for things like that, Sue Ellen wandered back downstairs to find JR and her mother. JR and Patricia were similar in a way, they both liked to be in control and they hated to lose; Sue Ellen had accepted it a long time ago, she was the pawn in the game when it came to their negotiations. Although she liked to make her own decisions and be independent sometimes, it simply wasn't who she was when it came down to it; she hated to be alone and she hated to have to control everything in her life, her time alone in Austin had proved that to her. As long as she wasn't being forced to do anything she absolutely did not want to do, she didn't mind having someone make the big, hard decisions for her, in fact, it was a relief to not have to worry about the most simple parts of living life; she liked being able to just live. With the way she and JR were now, she actually enjoyed the give and take of being his quiet, submissive wife in some aspects, because they'd come to an understanding that realised that just because she wasn't the decision maker, she wasn't a weak woman either. She could and would say something when she really had an opinion and she could act dominantly if she wanted to, however, she never felt the need to in most aspects. The fact was that most of the time she was content to allow him to make the big decisions himself; she didn't like worrying about money or business problems and she didn't like being responsible for supporting herself, it was stressful and she didn't deal well with stress. Of course, there were things about their life together that she worried about, she shared her worries about, and sometimes it did feel as if JR didn't understand, however, for now, their lives were good and if she was seriously discontented in the future, she knew she wouldn't have a problem asking JR to change things. It was different when it came to her mother though, because as much as she wanted to assert her independence, she knew she was no match for Patricia's dominance and she hated the way fighting with her mother about her life choices made her feel, so if JR was willing to handle it for her, then she wasn't complaining.

"…insurance agent, financial advisor, lawyer, you know, the kind of people that deal in securing our future as a family, a family of three and our extended family…" Sue Ellen walked toward the patio door and paused, she knew it wasn't right to eavesdrop, however, she also knew that if she asked JR about exactly what his arrangement with her mother was, she'd only get a very simple answer, one that wouldn't completely satisfy her curiosity. Standing a few feet away and behind a door, she wasn't able to hear exactly what they were saying, they were already speaking in hushed tones, even without knowing of her presence, however, she was able to get the general idea of the direction of their conversation and she smiled to herself as her husband spoke, reasserting his position. "…reconsidering how I divide my fortune…" she'd always known that he was funnelling money to her mother in one way or another and she'd never really approved of that, however, it did pleased her that he was able to use his financial control as a bargaining chip sometimes. As much as she knew how horrible it was to be financially manipulated into a decision, she couldn't help but feel that her mother deserved it, she was a gold-digger and she was getting exactly what she deserved. No one was forcing Patricia to accept JR's generosity and she always had the power to remove herself from the agreement if she didn't like the deal, however, she was greedy and as much as she disliked when JR tried to call the shots, she enjoyed the benefits of his financial support and wasn't ready to live without them. "…I trust that we both have the same goal; we both want to see Sue Ellen happy and healthy…" smiling at the fact that he mentioned her happiness as one of his goals, Sue Ellen found herself daydreaming for a moment, zoning out and missing the next few sentences of their conversation. As she tuned back in to what they were saying, she was annoyed at herself for missing the connecting sentences, because it appeared that the conversation was coming to a close and the tone had changed completely. "…I expect to return home to the same bubbly, happy wife that I am leaving and if I don't, you can say goodbye to the privileges our marriage affords you. I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you upset my wife, you will have me to answer to and I can guarantee that that will not be pleasant". Knowing that it was time to make an appearance, before things got really nasty, Sue Ellen stepped back a few feet, throwing her voice as if she were just entering the room, looking for her husband and mother, "JR? Mama?" stepping outside onto the patio, she stood by her husband's side and looked at her mother, "there you are, Miss Ellie's making some tea, come inside?" looking at the two, she gently nudged them out of their former conversation and back into the present events and was pleased when they followed without argument, their conversation was over, for now.

After about half an hour of polite socialisation with his in-laws, JR was about ready to leave; where he was heading, he had no idea, however, he'd never intended on staying at Southfork for the baby shower and being around Patricia and Kristin for more than an hour was enough to push him toward making his excuses. Looking at his watch and then at Bobby, JR was grateful that his youngest brother was socially adept and understood exactly what he wanted simply from the look he gave him; they hadn't really made any solid plans, but they both knew when it was time to depart. Traditionally, a baby shower was a women's event and even if Sundays were usually family days, the Ewing men knew when to stay and when to leave and today was certainly a day where leaving was the preferable choice. Looking at his own watch, Bobby took JR's cue and spoke a few words, apologising for their hasty retreat and wishing the ladies a good day before leaving the room, giving both JR and Jock a reason to follow soon after. Less tense about leaving Sue Ellen with her mother now that he and Patricia had an understanding, JR made his own apologies and joined Bobby as he walked outside to his car. Since reconciling with Sue Ellen, he'd spent the majority of his free time with her and it had been a while since he'd spent any real time with the Ewing men. He wasn't upset about it, because he loved spending time with his wife, especially now that they'd redefined and improved their relationship, however, it did pleased him that Sue Ellen was occupied today. The baby shower gave them time to be apart to do their own things for a while, but not time for Sue Ellen to get lonely or upset because JR was occupied with activities of his own, ones that didn't include or concern her. Although he and Bobby weren't on the best terms in business, they understood each other enough to know that solidarity was the best thing right now and a little family bonding was probably exactly what they needed to mend their bruised relationship, and in a way, JR was actually looking forward to spending time with his family.

To be continued…


	251. The Baby Shower

**Dallas, Texas**

"Thank you all for coming", Patricia raised an eyebrow as she realised that her eldest daughter was addressing the group as a whole and if she were doing that, then she was satisfied that all of the invited guests were present, all six of them. Looking around the room, she couldn't help but wonder what had happened to her daughter if she, Miss Ellie, Lucy, Kristin, Paula and Mavis were the only women Sue Ellen knew well enough to invite to a party; surely the Ewings were more connected than this, they held barbecues for hundreds each year and were high-flyers in Dallas society. Of course, this was a more intimate, private event than a barbecue, however, it struck her as both odd and sad that there were only two guests who weren't obligated by familial ties to be present and it seemed ridiculous that a woman of Sue Ellen's status and popularity only knew two people outside of her immediate family. Her daughter had been Miss Texas and she was now Mrs JR Ewing, to only have six guests present to celebrate the upcoming birth of her child, the heir to the Ewing throne, seemed absurd. She couldn't understand why her formerly popular daughter seemed so unpopular right now and it bothered her that Sue Ellen didn't even seem to mind the tiny group of guests, in fact, she seemed happy and almost relieved that she was only addressing a small group, not a large crowd and that worried Patricia. Although her job as a mother was pretty much done, she had raised her daughter and married her off, she didn't need to sit around worrying about her life and her every move, it still concerned her that people may hear something negative about Sue Ellen and judge her for it. She didn't want Sue Ellen to appear antisocial or unpopular because she knew how people talked and she worried that it would reflect negatively on her parenting skills and the public opinion of her second daughter, Kristin. If Sue Ellen had fallen from the popularity of Miss Texas and hadn't kept up her image as Mrs JR Ewing, then people were surely set to forget about Kristin, especially in a few years when it came to finding her a suitable husband. She had based a lot of her future plans off of being able to rely and manipulate their connection to Sue Ellen and the Ewing family and she was worried that if Sue Ellen was already failing to maintain a well-rounded social presence, then her plans would fall apart and if that happened, she wasn't sure what she would do. Brought back into the present as Sue Ellen's loud, college friend, Paula stood and took over the hosting role, she decided that now was not the time or place to be worrying about her future; she couldn't say anything to Sue Ellen today, not without knowing all the facts and especially not with JR's threat hanging over her head.

Smiling as she opened the sentimental, fun gifts, Sue Ellen's excitement about becoming a mother grew; she and Miss Ellie had purchased everything the baby would need and a lot of things that were just nice, unnecessary but enjoyable things to have, and they didn't really need any more items, however, it was still nice to receive gifts. Unwrapping the packages, she was overwhelmed by how much thought had gone into some of the gifts and she found herself fighting her emotion as she looked at the embroidered blankets, tiny cowboy boots with a matching hat, photo frames, baby book, silver spoon, toys, clothes and books that had been gifted. It was easy to just walk into a store and purchase something, but coming from the women closest to her, she sensed that they hadn't done that, that they'd actually considered what would be nice and appreciated before purchasing and she felt blessed to have the opportunity to be in this situation. Even if her mother and sister weren't close and Lucy, Miss Ellie and Mavis were really only in her life because of her connection to JR, she still felt loved and blessed to be on the receiving end of their thoughts and attention. It had been a tough two years for her, but upon reflection, she couldn't have been happier with the way her life had turned out; she loved JR Ewing and she loved the life they were finally living together and even if she didn't have a large group of friends, she was content. It had taken her years to understand, but she did now; if a having large group around here meant filling her life with meaningless acquaintances and false relationships, then she'd rather just have a small group. Being a public figure with a large entourage had been fun, but it wasn't what she wanted anymore; that part of her life was all in the past and she didn't want to dwell on it. She was ready to settle down and be a wife and mother now and she was pleased that she finally had the opportunity to do just that.

Although her mother and sister had been on their best behaviour and she'd actually not been bothered by their presence, Sue Ellen was still pleased that they'd been unable to stay the night at Southfork. Being Sunday, Kristin had school the next morning and Patricia had plans for the next week to do whatever it was that she did all day; leaving the airport after saying their farewells, Sue Ellen sighed with relief. Her family were tolerable in small doses and she could enjoy their presence, however, she didn't want to make a habit of seeing them too often; absence really did make the heart grow fonder. Arriving back at Southfork, she made her way up to the nursery to look at all of the charming items she and the baby had been gifted, smiling to herself again as she evaluated her life; she was happy. "The party was lovely; did you enjoy it?" turning around as she heard her speak, Sue Ellen observed Miss Ellie's behaviour, she was just as much a happy grandmother as Sue Ellen was a mother and Sue Ellen smiled to herself as she added that to the list of things to be grateful for in her life. "I did. Thank you Miss Ellie", looking directly at her as she spoke, Sue Ellen hoped that Miss Ellie understood what she meant; she had a hard time verbalising her feelings sometimes but she wanted her mother-in-law to know that she did love and appreciate her and everything she did for she and JR. "You're welcome. We all love you and it was an honour to be able to celebrate my new grandchild", she looked wistful as she spoke and Sue Ellen's curiosity was piqued. It was as if she were thinking something that she wasn't saying, something about the past, however, not wanting to intrude, Sue Ellen chose to leave it for now, she would intentionally overstep the line and she didn't want to ruin the nice atmosphere in the room; if Miss Ellie wanted to speak about the past, then she would. Looking over the items and discussing the party, Sue Ellen was once again thankful for her life and the way everything was coming together; she'd wanted this for so long and it was finally real.

To be continued…


	252. The Gift

**Dallas, Texas**

Following JR outside onto the driveway on Saturday morning, Sue Ellen was eager to see exactly what the surprise waiting for her was. JR, Bobby and Jock had come back from their bonding time last Sunday with the briefest of explanations, they'd been in town, though whether they were at the office or elsewhere was still a mystery to her. JR hadn't come home appearing to be drunk, guilty or overworked, so she hadn't been too concerned about his exact actions, especially not since his father was watching his every move more closely than ever. However, now, almost a week later and with the three Ewing men giving each other knowing glances at breakfast, she was beginning to wonder exactly had happened between them and what they knew that she didn't. Stopping in her tracks as she laid eyes on her husband's surprise, she put her polite beauty queen acting skills into practice, "a new car? JR, you shouldn't have. You spoil me too much", her response appeared to be one of flattered graciousness, however, deep down, her real reaction was anything but; she couldn't understand why JR would do this to her, but she was smart enough to not make a scene in front of the family. "That's a real family car, don't you think?" Jock appeared behind them and gestured toward the large, brown station wagon parked in the driveway. It appeared that he was truly excited to have such a car at Southfork and his reaction only confirmed to Sue Ellen that lying was exactly the response she needed to put forward, because even if she hated it, it would be rude to say so so openly. "Mercury Colony Park. Great American car, perfect for your growing family", through gritted teeth, Sue Ellen continued to smile and act interested in the obnoxiously large and terribly unattractive car as Jock went on and on about the features and benefits of such a vehicle. Truthfully, it was exactly the opposite of anything she would have chosen herself and she couldn't believe that JR had really thought it was a good idea to replace her sleek Camaro with this monstrosity.

Knowing the way Jock could be and hearing the car salesman spiel he was giving right now, she sensed that even if JR hadn't chosen this particular car himself, he hadn't had the heart to tell his father no and now, she was the one paying the consequences for his hesitation, something she wasn't at all pleased about. JR was no stranger to buying her large gifts and this wasn't the first car he'd bought her and in the past, she really hadn't minded the surprise aspect of the whole thing, however, now, with his obvious lack of sanity or taste, this was a step too far and it irritated her. The first time he'd given her a car had been just after they'd returned from their honeymoon, he'd surprised her after one weekend with a trip to a dealership and allowed her to choose the car of her liking; it had seemed like a nice, generous gesture and she'd been appreciative of the gift. The second car she'd had during their marriage had been a surprise, just after her accident last year, a replacement for her ruined car; she'd been thankful and pleased with the gesture then too, however, this time, the whole surprise aspect annoyed her. "My old car?" she had a bad feeling that they'd probably sold her old car, however, she was still holding out hope that it was being stored somewhere in a garage on the ranch, in case she wanted to use it at a later date; "sold it. That little sports car was nice, but it's not suitable for the mother of John Ross Ewing III. Babies and children come with a lot of stuff you need to bring everywhere with you; you'd have been frustrated with the lack of space sooner or later. Trust me", it appeared that Jock was now speaking for JR and Sue Ellen sighed; when it came to his father, JR really didn't know when to push his own opinion and put his foot down. "Can't have my grandson being uncomfortable", cringing internally as her father-in-law spoke, Sue Ellen couldn't help but be a little angry at how assumptive and brazen he was; of course he had the right to want a grandson, but to make it so widely known that her child be a boy seemed rude and uncalled-for. She had no control over the sex of her child and although she'd received confirmation and reassurance from both JR and Miss Ellie that another Ewing granddaughter would be just as accepted and loved, she found that hard to believe when Jock said things like that.

She worried about her relationship with JR if she did give birth to a daughter, not a son. It wasn't that she didn't believe JR wouldn't love his daughter just as much, she didn't doubt his love for their child one bit, however, she did worry about Jock's negative influence on his eldest son when it came to the topic of heirs. The way Jock spoke about the Ewing heir almost seemed as if he cared more about titles and legacies than the actual humans involved and with JR always eager to please his father, always wanting his love, Sue Ellen worried that he would pull away from their relationship if she didn't deliver the thing his father wanted the most. Not saying anything, about the car or the inappropriate comments in reference to John Ross Ewing III, Sue Ellen remained falsely pleased, only changing her expression when JR presented her with the keys and suggested a drive around the ranch to get a feel for her new vehicle. His suggestion took her by surprise, though it really shouldn't have, it was her car after all, but with the surprise came relief too, it pleased her that he was offering her an opportunity leave the family for a little while because she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep up the happy, grateful act. Now that she hadn't been using her acting skills so often in her daily life, it was more difficult for her to portray an entirely different persona to what she was really feeling; she was still very capable of pretending, but it took more effort and thought, because her honest happiness didn't provide many opportunities to practice. "A test drive sounds perfect", giving Jock, JR and Bobby a polite smile, she followed JR over to the driver's side door and stepped inside when he opened it for her. If JR was any bit the caring, understanding husband he had been acting like the past few months, then she hoped that they would be able to discuss things like adults and the outcome of their little drive would prove more positive than the past few minutes. They needed to talk about the whole situation: Jock, the baby, JR's ability to say no and finally, the car, because she was beginning to feel overwhelmed by the pressure and expectation again and being overwhelmed and sad had never proved to be a good combination in the past.

To be continued…


	253. Confused

**Dallas, Texas**

As JR watched his wife driving around the ranch, it became clear to him that something was wrong; her dissatisfaction and false happiness were becoming more and more obvious as the minutes passed and he no longer felt completely relaxed in her presence. She was still smiling and making polite conversation and to an ordinary person, it would appear that she were actually pleased with her gift, however, he knew her better than to be fooled by the happy façade she was portraying. After having seen her genuinely happy many times, having been witness to her acting and pretending everything was fine when it clearly wasn't and remembering the memories of her pageant queen life as directed by Patricia, it was obvious to him that the way she was behaving right now was not even close to being due to true happiness. She was consciously controlling her actions so that she appeared happy and if she had to pretend that she was happy rather than just naturally showing it, then what she was really feeling was much worse. "Pull over", as the pond appeared within walking distance, he decided that it was time to get to the bottom of whatever was bothering her and if he was going to start asking hard questions that would make her overly emotional in any way, he knew it was best for them to not be driving when he broached the subject. After the events of the previous months, he'd come to a realisation, he did love his wife and a life with her was so much more than a life without her and in light of his realisation he had honestly been trying to be a better husband. At times, he still lacked full understanding of exactly what being a better husband meant and how to balance his actions and reactions to things, because there was no manual to love and marriage, it was all about gut instinct and doing the right thing, something he had to consciously consider sometimes. However, as unnatural as it was for him to always consider the emotional side of a situation, he knew full well that communication was the key to solving many of the problems he and Sue Ellen faced. If he sat back and said nothing when he clearly noticed that something was bothering her, or worse, simply accepted her false answers as truth, then he was contributing to the problem; sweeping things under the rug didn't help Sue Ellen or their relationship and he understood that now.

Following her husband's directions, Sue Ellen pulled over, stopping and parking a few hundred yards from the pond; switching off the engine as she sensed his intentions, he wanted to talk and she was going to have to give him some answers. Stepping out of the car and walking around to the driver's side, JR opened the door and held his hand out, assisting his wife as she stood. Taking the initiative to do something about whatever the current situation was, he subtly guided them away from the car; they were going to go for a walk and if he had his way, they wouldn't return to the ranch until found a solution to whatever problem was bothering her. Walking silently for a few minutes, JR took the initiative once again, "what's wrong?" although his words sounded simple, perhaps even a little demanding, the way he spoke was sincere and Sue Ellen didn't feel threatened or upset when he questioned her, though it still didn't make it any easier to verbalise what she was feeling. In a way, it wasn't one thing that was bothering her; sure, the car had brought her feelings to the surface, but she'd been ignoring the little things for a while and stupidly, she had once again pretended that little issues didn't compound into a bigger issue, though she knew that they did, she'd experienced it many times before. Unsure of how to respond, Sue Ellen found herself diverting the attention away from her own issues and back to her husband's thoughts, "why did you buy me a new car?" The words left her mouth quickly and as they did, she began to regret saying anything; if his face dropping were anything to go by, then he had come to the obvious conclusion and it hurt him and that was the last thing she wanted to do. "You don't like it?" seeing the way he was looking at her made her feel guilty and ungrateful and she hated knowing that she'd hurt him, almost as much as she hated that he constantly allowed his father to railroad him into decisions, often ones suspected he probably wouldn't have made himself. There was a place for Jock Ewing in JR's life, but it wasn't supposed to come at the expense of their marriage and that's exactly how Sue Ellen felt it was sometimes. Unable to control her guilt and embarrassment, she felt herself blushing, "it's not that. I love that you think of me and want to give me gifts, it's just…" she didn't know how to explain it, because even though she had just denied that she disliked the new car, she hadn't changed her actual opinion. Watching her with confusion, JR wasn't entirely sure what to think, she was verbally expressing one thing, but her body language was saying something totally different, "I don't understand the problem then. I like giving you gifts and you like receiving them. I know you were fond of your old car, but daddy's right, a sports car is no place for a baby…" he had more to say, but as he spoke, his sentence was interrupted by his wife as she looked at him exasperatedly, "daddy said? Which one is it JR? You wanted to buy me a car because you wanted to be a nice husband, or you felt pressured by your daddy to change something about our lives because he didn't approve?"

Thrown off by her question, he found himself getting defensive, "whether daddy's opinion factored into my decision is irrelevant. I bought you a new car because I wanted to do something nice for my wife, though I'm not sure why I bothered now, it's obvious that you don't appreciate it and from the way you're acting, I'm not sure you deserve it…" His final few words came out sounding angrier than he had intended when they started talking and she felt more like a disobedient child being scolded by her father rather than a wife who was just trying to explain her feelings to her husband. She'd never intended on starting an argument, but in the moment, she'd lacked the self-control to temper her words and respond in an inoffensive but still direct way, indirectly offending him and feeling the consequences of her words almost immediately. Feeling like her old, needy, weak, emotional self again, she stopped walking and blinked back tears; she honestly hadn't meant for her response to upset him, but she hated the way he always took the opportunity to make her feel bad about what she had said and the way his words and look could make her feel. Overwhelmed by JR's anger, Jock's power over JR and their lives and the worry of how another Ewing granddaughter would change things for them, she began to cry and from his position three feet in front of her, still angry and annoyed at her formerly bratty attitude, JR found himself more confused than ever. Why was she crying and what was he supposed to do right now? A part of him wanted to hold her and comfort her, but another part was still seething at the way she had basically accused him of acting entirely on his father's preferences, inferring that he'd done so without consideration for her feelings. Knowing that it was the right thing to do, he consciously made himself walk toward her, gently pulling her toward him in an effort to comfort her as she cried, and as she made a mumbled apology through her sobs, he felt like a terrible husband. Although he was still a little upset by her accusations, he felt his anger dissipating as he held her close; she may have become a stronger woman, but she wasn't immune to upset, especially when it was caused by someone so close to her. Focusing he energy on comforting her, he temporarily shelved his anger, they still needed to talk and find the underlying cause of the issue, but now was not the right time, she was in no mental or emotional position to properly discuss anything; what she needed was her husband's unconditional love, at least for the moment.

To be continued…


	254. Respect

**Dallas, Texas**

"Darlin'? What is it? What else is bothering you?" feeling the way she was clinging to him, desperate, upset and from her mumbled words, seemingly overwhelmed by conflicting emotions, JR was smart enough to infer that her current mood wasn't entirely just a bratty reaction to a gift and then a sad response to being called out on her behaviour. There was something more, but without a real explanation, he was at a loss to explain exactly what that more was. He had thought that everything had been going well for them and they were finally in a good place, but it didn't strike him as normal for a happy wife to fall to pieces over a gift. "Darlin'? Talk to me, please", softening his tone of voice, he attempted to get her to talk again; he'd intended on not leaving until they resolved her problem and he wasn't ready to give up on that goal just yet. "It's everything", pausing for a moment, she stepped back and looked at him and noting the confused look on his face, she took a deep breath and then turned away slightly, finding herself embarrassed and unable to look him in the eye as she attempted to tell him something that would be depicted as negative. "Please don't be mad at me", mumbling her words quietly, JR found himself even more confused than he already was; what did 'everything' mean and why would it make him mad? "Sue Ellen…" giving her a firm but empathetic cue to continue, he waited for her to speak again; "I'm worried and I'm scared", her voice was shaky as she spoke, but she continued, "your daddy is so… forceful. What if we have a daughter? No matter what you or Miss Ellie say, I know your daddy will be disappointed and I'm scared of what that will mean for our relationship and the family. I do not want our daughter growing up with the feeling that she's a disappointment or somehow not good enough. We both know what it's like to try so hard to please a parent but always come up short and I will not have my daughter feeling that way about herself…" Pausing for a second, she tried to work out whether she needed to specifically tell JR that his father was overbearing and lacked empathy or insight into his behaviour or whether JR understood what she was saying simply from her brief explanation.

Feeling exasperated and still confused as to why they were rehashing the same conversation they'd had a million times before, JR found himself reaching out and turning her face toward him, "darlin', we've discussed this before, I don't know why you don't believe me. It's only natural for a man to want to continue the family name and legacy, but a child, no matter whether it's a boy or a girl, will be loved and wanted. Daddy just gets a little excited about things, but he doesn't mean it harmfully. I promise you, I will not allow my son or daughter to grow up the way you and I did, because I agree, it was wrong and harmful and no child should have to experience that. However, that being said, you need to stop demonizing daddy, he's a traditional type of man and he's excited for the birth of his next grandchild, possibly the grandchild that will bear his name and legacy. I know you think he interferes where he's not welcome and I know you have a less than pleasant opinion about the way he raised his sons, but I need you to stop holding that against him and pulling it out as an attack card when you're upset. Daddy is the head of the Ewing family and no matter how you feel about his past actions, he still deserves our respect and you need to stop holding his mistakes against him. Another thing, before you mention the car again, the one you're obviously displeased with, no matter how much you try to pretend that you're not. Yes, we went to the dealership and yes, he did mention that the station wagon would be more appropriate, but he didn't force me to do anything and he didn't purposely suggest it because he knew you wouldn't like it". Making sure not to raise his voice as he spoke, he tried to calmly explain the position he was in, he didn't enjoy being put in the middle of his wife and his father and he didn't think it was entirely fair, to anyone involved.

If he thought objectively about it, he could see her perspective; his father had suggested the station wagon over the sedan he had picked, but he hadn't forced him into anything and he'd only said it with good intentions based on his own experiences. The simple fact was that children did come with a lot of things and it did make sense to have more than enough space to fit everything rather than worrying about rearranging and balancing items in the car. His father knew what he was talking about and after mentally comparing the pros of both cars, JR had agreed with his opinion. He'd honestly intended on doing something nice for her and when she hadn't reacted as he'd expected, it had thrown him and he had gotten angry. His father was a sore spot for Sue Ellen though and his thoughts and overbearing opinions were less welcome in her life than they were in JR's, something he had to remind himself of more often, otherwise, her responses seemed cold and possibly rude. He was trying his best to maintain the open communication they had established recently though and in that came empathising and at least attempting to understand and see things from her perspective.

With mixed emotions, Sue Ellen attempted to think of a rational but still firm response to her husband's words. She wasn't entirely convinced that it would be that easy for them, however, JR appeared to be on her side in the opinion that even if his father wasn't pleased with another granddaughter, there was no way in hell that they would ever allow that sort of negativity to enter her life and that was somewhat comforting. Sighing to herself, she was conflicted, one part of her wanted to just apologise and move on, forgetting the whole argument, but another was telling her that she couldn't just ignore the facts, even if she were exaggerating them a little. "You're right and I apologise, I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions about the car and your daddy's part in it, and for the record, as much as I dislike the physical car, I love the thoughts and ideas behind it. I love that you were thinking of me and the baby and I love that you wanted to surprise me", pausing for a moment, she looked at him and smiled, she really did appreciate the gesture, it was just the material actualisation of the gesture that was the issue. "My opinion and position remains the same though; I understand that you love and respect your daddy and you want to please him, but I will not allow my daughter to feel like she's not enough, because I wanted a baby and I'm getting a baby, whether it's a boy or a girl is irrelevant to me. I want to be a mother and I want everyone to respect that, especially your father. Please just understand where I'm coming from; I agree, your daddy is the head of the Ewing family and I respect that, however, he needs to respect us as a family too and I am the mother of this baby, a protective mother, one who will not stand for negativity about my son or daughter. I want you to promise me that you'll be on my side if it does become an issue", looking at him expectantly, she smiled amusedly as he let out an exasperated sigh, "darlin', how many times do we have to have this conversation? Yes, I promise. You're right, I respect my daddy, a lot, but respect goes both ways and our child, whether it be a son or a daughter is just as much worthy of respect as my daddy and I will see to it that he understands that from now on". Realising that her powers of persuasion were stronger than she'd originally thought, Sue Ellen grinned at him, "good… and thank you. I love you and I love our baby. I don't mean to cause problems, I just want everything to run as smoothly as possible and now that we're on the same page, I think we have a better chance of that happening". Looking at him expectantly, her large brown eyes glimmering with hope and happiness, she was entirely unsurprised and totally happy when he ended their conversation, kissing her as if his actions could portray his feelings better than his words, and they did exactly that. They could negotiate about the car specifically later, but right now, her main fears and worries were calmed and she was happy.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	255. Change of Plans

**Dallas, Texas**

"What about this one?" wandering around the large car dealership, stopping to examine each vehicle, JR let out a loud sigh as his wife shook her head yet again. As much as he enjoyed looking at brand new, good, solid, American cars, she was a hard woman to please and nothing seemed to appeal to her. She still seemed to be of the opinion that if she had to trade her 'fun' car for a more suitable 'family' car, then it was to be one that she loved and unfortunately for his wallet, that meant one that was of similar ilk to his own car, a lovely, but very expensive Mercedes-Benz. "Do you like anything here?" blushing as she shook her head and quietly muttered the word no, Sue Ellen then grinned to herself as her husband let out another loud sigh as he resigned himself to the fact that she'd been corrupted by his introduction to a more lavish lifestyle than she'd had growing up. "Shall we head over to the European car dealership then? See if they have anything that's to your liking?" nodding, Sue Ellen's smile widened, she had him wrapped around her little finger and she loved it.

Almost a week later, and still on top of the world thanks to JR's generosity and increased attention, Sue Ellen's stomach dropped as she heard her husband's car pulling into the driveway in the early afternoon; it was a work day and he never just randomly came home early on work days, something was different, something was wrong. "JR?" standing from her seat under an umbrella by the pool and walking out onto the driveway, she greeted him as he opened his car door, "oh good, you're home. I was going to call, but I was coming home anyway so there didn't seem much point", closing his car door and taking her hand, he walked toward the house, his wife in tow, just as confused about why he was home as she had been a moment ago. Following his lead, walking into the house toward the stairs, Sue Ellen felt ill as JR called out to Raoul to bring his suitcase upstairs, "JR?" her voice was shaky and scared as she realised that her husband was going somewhere, probably out of town and if experience was anything to go by, probably for more than just the night. "I have to go to Washington darlin', I'm sorry", pausing outside their bedroom as he heard the vulnerability in her voice, he temporarily stopped himself from thinking about his duty to Ewing Oil and instead, focused on his duty to his wife. "Bobby is in Odessa and daddy needs to be here to meet with some bankers tomorrow, so I am the only one available to go. If there were any other way, I would take it, but there isn't and I truly am sorry about that, I know it's not good timing. I'm going to be the president of Ewing Oil very soon though and with the way things are going right now, not with Ewing Oil specifically, but with the whole economy of oil, I need to make sure that our livelihood isn't put at risk. I need to go to Washington, please understand that". He empathised with her position, because he knew how much she hated him leaving Dallas even before she knew about his tendency to be with other women when he was away on business, and now, even though their relationship was in a much better place, she probably still had lingering memories of his former infidelity. He imagined that she was probably feeling a little wary of what the time and distance would do to them, however, he honestly didn't intend on this being anything more than a business trip and he really did need to go.

"Can I come with you? Please", looking at him through watery eyes, Sue Ellen didn't even think about what she was asking before she spoke, she simply wanted to be with her husband, not just for her own peace of mind about his whereabouts and actions, but because she really loved spending time with him and didn't want to give him up. "Darlin', as much as I'd love for you to come with me, I don't think it's a good idea. You're almost eight months pregnant, I'm not convinced that it's safe or right for you to be so far away from our hospital and besides, I'll be in meetings all day, you'd only be bored sitting around the hotel waiting for me to return". Hooking his arm around her waist and bringing her closer to him, he looked her in the eye as he spoke, "I love you and I don't intend on doing anything that would endanger our relationship. I'll be back on Friday evening and we can go out to dinner and spend the whole weekend together, I promise". Smiling at the fact that her husband seemed to be able to read her mind and reassure her before she started to really get worked up about potential problems, Sue Ellen leaned into his arms. As much as she disliked what he had to do, she understood it and knew that it was her responsibility to offer an equal amount of empathy for his position; he wasn't doing this to hurt her, in fact, he was trying his hardest to not hurt her and she needed to acknowledge and be thankful for that. "Can you at least call me when you get back to your hotel? Even if it's before you're about to go to bed. I like hearing about your day and I like knowing that you're safe", fighting the urge to really push him into allowing her to go with him, she decided to request the next best thing. She really did love him and enjoy being involved in his life and she didn't want the physical distance between Washington and Dallas to affect anything too dramatically. "Sure darlin', I'll call you", knowing that it was a fairly small request, one he was fully capable of fulfilling, JR agreed without argument. He was trying to be a better husband and sometimes that meant following orders his wife gave him, and honestly, he didn't mind that so much, he enjoyed speaking to her and it was the least he could do to make her happy.

To be continued…


	256. JR Ewing: Husband & Vice-President

**Washington, D.C.**

"Darlin', I don't want to bore you with the details, because it's a very complex issue, but simplistically put, American oil consumption is rising and our domestic oil production is declining, leading to an increasing dependence on oil imported from abroad. Now, no one really believes that the OAPEC members are a real threat right now, but with the murmurings around town, it's necessary for me to at least show my face and be informed about what's going on behind the scenes. Ewing Oil is a producer and seller, not an importer, but our business is intertwined with the whole industry and we're vulnerable to price and regulation changes, so as I said, I need to be here. Unfortunately, politics and politicians aren't known for their speedy decisions and my meetings today were essentially just a lot of men rehashing the same things we already knew, so I have a feeling that it's going to take a little longer than I anticipated for anything solid and real to be agreed upon". Listening to the silence on the other end of the line and knowing his wife, JR hoped that she could push past her sadness and worry and understand that he wasn't in control of the situation and unfortunately, even though he intended on being home by Friday, he may have to return to Washington in the near future. The timing was horrible, not only was there a lot of paperwork building up, paperwork he would have to deal with upon his return to Dallas, but his wife was heavily pregnant and even if he didn't necessarily plan on being in the room with her, he still didn't want to miss out on the birth of his first child. He was confident that she didn't have to worry about him cheating, this wasn't a chummy, goodwill visit where the intent was to schmooze the good men of Washington to think favourably of Ewing Oil, this was a simple fact-finding mission, he needed to know what was going on and what the government intended on doing about it. However, even though this was purely a business trip and he was acting like a completely faithful husband, he knew that Sue Ellen still probably wasn't entirely happy about him being so far away for so long; she was attached to him and she didn't like being alone and he felt bad putting her in that position again.

"You never bore me… and I understand, Ewing Oil needs you and I support you. You do what you have to do…" surprised at how chipper she sounded, JR sensed a sad undertone in her words, she was trying hard to appear strong, but it wasn't her natural inclination; she needed her husband and he wanted to be there, but he couldn't, he had other responsibilities. "Thank you darlin'. I promise, I'll try to get things done as soon as possible, but unfortunately, Washington isn't my town the way Dallas is and I don't have quite as much influence here as I do back home", he didn't like to admit it to outsiders, but he trusted his wife to understand his vulnerabilities without using them against him. Smiling to herself, Sue Ellen didn't feel it necessary to dwell on his lack of power, she knew he didn't really want to talk about it, so instead, she decided to boost his ego, "you're JR Ewing, you can do anything", knowing that he would enjoy a few words of encouragement, she waited for him to laugh before speaking again. "I'll be waiting for you when you do come home; I love you and I miss you and I don't like being without you. So please, even if it's the middle of the night when your flight gets in, wake me up, just so that I know you're safe and you're back with me". Blinking to himself at her words, he was surprised by her response, she wasn't angry or annoyed, she was simply a woman in love and she wanted to reassure her husband of his position in his company and their life together and it warmed his heart to know that she believed in him that much. "I'll remember that", he smiled amusedly to himself as he imagined waking her up in the middle of the night just to say hello. It would go one of two ways and with Sue Ellen getting toward the end of her pregnancy, he had a feeling that the reality of the situation would be a lot different to what she imagined. She liked to think that she was still energetic and up for anything, but she was thirty two weeks pregnant and JR could see that it was beginning to slow her down, even if just a little; she was more tired, a little more emotional and found basic physical activities a bit more demanding than she had in the past. In no way was she a write-off, but he had a feeling that she was overestimating her ability to appreciate a middle of the night wakeup call, even if she did love and miss her husband. Hearing her disguising a yawn on the other end of the line simply proved his point to him in his mind, though he knew better than to make a point of her limitations; letting out a small, but audible yawn of his own, he made moves to end the conversation, for both their sakes. "Darlin', I have a few early meetings tomorrow, so I should probably head to bed now, it's an hour later here than it is in Dallas, but I promise, I'll be home on Friday evening", saying a few quiet goodbyes and making plans to talk the next evening, before seeing each other again on Friday, he then ended their call.

He'd finally worked out that even just increasing his efforts as a husband by a little was something that could dramatically reduce the friction in their marriage, and even though he knew he'd probably be tired by the time he got home on Friday, he needed to show her that she was special to him. It may have taken her walking out on him for him to realise that he couldn't just do whatever he wanted without it affecting their relationship, but it made sense to him now to consistently make a point of showing her that he loved her, even if it was just saying it more often and spending time with her. It had never made sense to him in the past, his money, power and the Ewing name had always been his biggest drawcard but with Sue Ellen and their marriage, it was different. Little shows of love meant more to her than grand gestures after long periods of time where he neglected their marriage, because that was really all she wanted, to love and to be loved, everything else was simply a bonus. In a way, it was both easier and harder for him; it was easy in the sense that small things impressed her and the effort required of him wasn't anything dramatically greater than he was capable of, the hardest part was really just changing his thoughts and behaviours to naturally act in such a way. He was working on it though and it motivated him to see that the effort he was putting in did seem to be having an effect; he felt good about their relationship and although the JR Ewing of the past would have scoffed at the idea, he was constantly surprising himself as he realised that marital bliss really did exist.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Historical accuracy concerning the oil business isn't my strong suit, but I know that in 1973 there was a huge oil crisis in the US, so I thought I should at least attempt to integrate that (it's April 1972 in the story for context). The actual specific facts are a little vague simply because of my lack of detailed understanding though, so hopefully no one really follows for the details like that :P**


	257. The Home Stretch

**Dallas, Texas**

"They're called Braxton Hicks contractions, essentially it's just your body preparing itself for the upcoming labour, it's a completely normal process. From what you've described, I don't believe they're anything to worry about right now, however, if they do become stronger, more frequent or there is any change in your fluids, I want you to call me and let me know. You're healthy and I do believe that you're on track to deliver at full-term, but that's not for another five weeks and medically, even the healthiest pregnancy can be unpredictable; preferably though, I'd like for that little boy or girl to stay right where they are, at least for the next four weeks". Sue Ellen sighed with relief as Doctor Krane finished speaking; she could deal with normal, it was the abnormal that she worried about, however, even though her doctor had mentioned that pregnancy was unpredictable, she didn't appear to be too concerned and her calmness about the situation helped Sue Ellen's own mood immensely. If her doctor, a woman who had spent years in medical school and had delivered hundreds of babies, wasn't worried, then she knew that she didn't need to be overly concerned either. She'd learnt the hard way that stressing over small issues was dire to her health and she was really trying to change the way she reacted to things, for both her wellbeing and the wellbeing of her baby. "Thank you doctor", saying goodbye before she left the room to allow her to change back into her own clothes, Sue Ellen felt much better than she had when she'd worriedly made the appointment that morning. Simply just lounging outside by the pool didn't strike her as a strenuous activity, so when she started to cramp and feel noticeable physical discomfort, she had panicked and done the first thing she could think of, hastily called her doctor, almost in tears by the time she finally got through to her. In her mind and medically, she wasn't ready for the baby to make its entrance into the world, not just yet; she needed the final few weeks she had left until her due date to really prepare and get herself ready to be a mother. It wasn't that she didn't have everything she needed and wouldn't be capable of pulling herself together if required, but she was determined to do a good job and that meant starting the new chapter in their lives in the right place, time and circumstances, and to her, that meant the end of May, exactly when the baby was expected.

In her mid-morning panic at feeling what she assumed to be the first signs of labour, much earlier than expected and was ready for, she had begun to worry about the situation as it was: JR was 1300 miles away and the baby wasn't yet considered safe to deliver. If it so happened that their baby was born prematurely, she didn't want to be all alone in dealing with it; she was scared not only the baby's potential health problems, but her own potential emotional state too; she knew it would all be too much for her to handle by herself and the thought scared her half to death. It brought her great relief to hear Doctor Krane reassure her and explain that not only had she done the right thing by calling when she was concerned, but that her concerns weren't anything to be worried about and what she was experiencing was completely normal. JR had promised to be home this evening and she couldn't wait to see him; they didn't even have to go out to dinner or really do anything exciting if he was tired, she was content to just be next to him at family dinner and then retreat to their bedroom to relax later on. Perhaps she was getting old, or boring, or perhaps she and JR were just more relaxed in each other's presence now, but she really did find pleasure in the simple things and she knew that JR did too. Their elaborate vacations and dates were wonderful, but even just spending the evening together at the ranch was nice, especially when the rest of the family left them alone to enjoy themselves as a couple. For the first time in years, she actually felt like she and JR were really connected and were on the same wavelength when it came to expectations and wants for their relationship. She didn't plan on letting go of their old, more exciting life forever, but right now, simply just enjoying each other as husband and wife before they became parents of a real, dependant baby, child and teenager, was something they were both enjoying.

In moments of self-doubt, she found herself worried and unsure of JR's commitment to a monogamous relationship, but when her sanity returned, she really did believe that he had changed and they were finally living the way they were supposed to be; she couldn't really say why, but she felt it, something was different, in a very good way. Of course, she wasn't stupid, she knew that they would have to work at their marriage to make sure that he never felt as if he needed another woman, however, she was a little limited in exactly how she could do that right now. Luckily though, he didn't even really seem to mind, he actually seemed happy to just have a wife, especially one who very soon was about to deliver the ultimate gift a woman could give a man, a child. The JR Ewing who had a short attention span and enjoyed a lot of variety in his life seemed to have checked out and had been replaced by the loving, attentive JR Ewing she had first met and fallen in love with and she was enjoying the change. She knew he would inevitably regain some of his old personality traits, it was only natural, she just hoped that when it did happen, it was an evolution of personality and character, not a regression. She didn't want him to make himself unhappy by having to pretend to be someone he wasn't for the rest of his life and she was more than happy for him to regain a few of his old personality traits, she simply hoped that when he did start to change again, he did so with love and respect for her and their marriage. If he did that, then she had no doubt that they could be very happy together, forever, and that's exactly what she had always wanted.

To be continued…


	258. Adjustments

**Dallas, Texas**

"I want you to tell JR that he doesn't have to go back to Washington on Monday and his out-of-town trips are on hold, indefinitely", holding up her hand as her husband attempted to protest her request, Miss Ellie cut him off, "no Jock, please, just hear me out. Ordinarily, I wouldn't interfere in business, but this is personal too. You were at work all day, you didn't see the way Sue Ellen reacted to false labour pains this morning; she was in tears before she saw the doctor and I know for a fact that those tears weren't all due to the physical pain she was experiencing. I've been where she is, she's a scared young woman and she needs her husband's support right now; she needs to feel that his love and support is real and I know that even just knowing JR is close is a huge comfort to her. I think JR knows it too, look at how thoughtful and caring he's been this evening, he really is a different man now and I am so happy and proud that he and Sue Ellen finally reached that place in their marriage. However, that being said, even with his love and care for his wife and child, it's obvious that he's still a torn man; he wants to do the right thing for his family, but he also feels an obligation to Ewing Oil and right now, I don't think it's entirely fair to put him in such a positon. I understand that you want to prepare him to take over the presidency, but that won't be happening for years, so forgive me for not seeing the urgency or immediate importance of all of these out-of-town trips. Sue Ellen is due to give birth in just a few weeks and call me an irrational and emotional woman all you want, but I believe JR's primary concern should be about his wife and child right now, not the potential problems in the oil business. Please Jock, try to see it from a different perspective; this is the grandchild we've been waiting for for years, but it's also the child JR and Sue Ellen have been wanting and wishing for for a long time and I think they deserve time to themselves to enjoy the changes their lives are about to go through".

Huffing at the way his wife made sense, Jock reluctantly agreed to spread the upcoming trips to Washington between he and Bobby, though not before making a few grumbly remarks about his dislike for stuffy business trips where a lot of men in suits talked and debated, eventually reaching an agreement that no one was really happy with. He was good at business, but he liked to be in control of a situation, he liked to be the one negotiating, not the one having facts and decisions dictated to him; he would take over JR's responsibility as Ewing Oil's Washington representative, but he couldn't pretend that he really wanted to do so. "Thank you Jock", leaning over and giving him a soft kiss, Miss Ellie hoped that he understood how grateful she was that he wasn't fighting her on this issue. She wanted the best for JR, Sue Ellen and their child and she knew Jock did too, sometimes he just didn't see that things weren't always best the way he arranged them and she felt that it was her responsibility to present a different perspective and way of approaching things. She always enjoyed when he simply agreed and followed the way she suggested things happen, because she knew her place in their marriage and she didn't make suggestions on things that she didn't feel strongly about. If she were saying something to her husband about his thoughts or actions then it meant that she'd thought long and hard about it and she wanted him to listen; she didn't just make comments for the sake of talking, there were reasons behind her words and she wanted him to listen and understand those reasons.

Down the hall, Sue Ellen yawned for the third time that evening; although she'd taken a nap after returning home from the hospital, she couldn't deny that as she got closer and closer to her due date, her stamina was steadily declining. Sensing his wife's yawn, JR's body soon followed, though his reasons for yawning were much different to hers, he was simply just tired from a long week at work; travelling, meeting and discussing the same issues over and over was mentally and physically draining. "Darlin', you've had a long day, you must be exhausted. How about we get ready for bed and then we can talk until you fall asleep. We'll go out to dinner and maybe even dancing tomorrow night, but tonight, you need to rest", acting as if he were doing it all out of care for her wellbeing, he was pleased when she seemed too interested in his idea to question it. She loved pillow talk and she couldn't think of anything more appealing right now than falling asleep with her husband, because even though he hadn't mentioned his own sleep in his suggestion, only that she was tired and would feel better after a good night's rest, she knew that he was speaking for himself too. Brushing her teeth, washing her face and changing into her nightgown, she smiled to herself as she considered the changes their relationship had gone through even just in the small period of time that she had been pregnant. She'd finally gotten pregnant after eighteen months of marriage and months of mental and emotional issues related to her marriage and self-worth, but the pregnancy had changed those feelings, at least for a little while. After finding out and telling everyone of their success in conceiving a baby, she had been on top of the world, until her whole life came crashing down around her when she found out that her husband was a serial cheater and had risked both she and the baby's health with his reckless actions. Leaving him had been both the easiest and hardest thing she'd ever done, but it was completely necessary and worth it in the end. By exposing and standing up to his ridiculous double standards and silly issues, she had opened the door to a real, open, honest relationship and their lives were better because of it. Her refusal to play by his and only his rules any longer was the best thing she ever did and she was pleased and relieved that everything had worked out the way it did. Getting into bed and laying down next to JR, she smiled to herself; it was amazing that they'd had so many issues relating to intimacy in their marriage, but right now, just lying beside him, she felt so close to him. They didn't have to be physically consummating their relationship to show each other love, there was so much more to it than that and it pleased her that they both seemed to really understand and believe that now. Of course, that didn't mean she didn't still enjoy that side of their relationship, she did, she was just pleased that they weren't basing the quality of their marriage on just one aspect. There would be plenty of time to resume a full, diverse relationship in that sense, but now was the time in their lives where the focus was on them as a couple, because in just a few weeks, their lives would never be the same.

To be continued…


	259. Frustration

**Dallas, Texas**

"Fat, useless and quite frankly, sick of being pregnant", clapping her hand over her mouth in embarrassment as she realised that she had actually voiced her thoughts aloud, Sue Ellen looked at her mother-in-law and blushed. There was no way Miss Ellie's general, "how are you feeling today?" query was one that was really, honestly asking her to explain her innermost thoughts and she was highly embarrassed that she'd allowed herself to respond in such a casual manner. What fed her embarrassment the most though was that in expressing her honest feelings, she had given an answer that made her look bad, because even though the way she felt probably wasn't uncommon amongst women in her condition, it definitely wasn't what was promoted in society as what she _should _be feeling. Although she knew she shouldn't allow her fear of coming off as socially impolite to impact on her every decision, knowing and actually doing tended to be two different things and in this case, she felt guilty for showing herself as anything other than what she was expected to be. Her mother had taught her to be too self-aware and if she wasn't careful, she tended to take her analysing and scrutinizing to the extreme, causing her self-esteem to drop, and right now, she couldn't afford to lose any more self-esteem. Of course, she was waiting in excited anticipation to meet her baby, but it couldn't come quick enough as far as she was concerned; nearing the end of her third trimester wasn't at all the blissful pregnancy experience she had been hoping for and she couldn't wait to finally just have her baby with her, outside of the womb.

At first a little taken aback by Sue Ellen's honesty and lack of her usual high regard for social politeness, Miss Ellie then let out a small laugh as she processed her daughter-in-law's words and empathised with her, "don't be embarrassed; remember, I have three sons, I know exactly how you're feeling". Patting Sue Ellen's hand lightly as a sign of camaraderie and empathy, she knew she had to make sure that Sue Ellen didn't feel too bad about herself and didn't blame herself for having certain thoughts and feelings. It was completely normal for her to be tired, frustrated and uncomfortable at this point in her pregnancy, she was almost thirty-seven weeks pregnant, she really could go into labour any day now and she was allowed to wish that it would happen sooner rather than later. Although Sue Ellen was tall, she was usually slender and toned, so it had to be physically draining for her to be thirty pounds heavier than usual; and on top of the physical frustration, her hormones were probably going crazy, she needed someone to tell her that she wasn't alone and wasn't wrong to feel the way she did. "Firstly, you're not fat, you're pregnant, there's a difference; there's a baby growing inside of you and that baby needs you to gain a healthy amount of weight so that it can be healthy, so please, don't start thinking that you'll look this way forever or it's something you did wrong. Your doctor isn't concerned and you shouldn't be either. Secondly, you're not useless, it's completely natural for you to feel tired and slower than usual, your body is growing another human, it has to work hard to do that. Your only job right now is to make sure you take care of yourself properly, so that you and the baby are both healthy at the end of this process. Leave everything else up to JR or me, we'll help you with whatever you need or want and you don't need to feel bad about it. As for being sick of being pregnant, I completely understand how you're feeling, but at least try to think of the positive side; you're already a mother, but once the baby is born, you and JR will never be a family of two again. Please make sure you enjoy these final few weeks of your pregnancy, it'll mean a lot to you in the future". Giving her another little pat on the hand, Miss Ellie smiled at her daughter-in-law and hoped that at least some of what she was saying would sink in and change the way she was thinking and feeling. A lot of Sue Ellen's problems stemmed from the fact that she'd grown up with a mother who didn't tolerate imperfection and was overly critical of small details, and for Sue Ellen, not having a lot of same-age friends to reaffirm that she wasn't crazy for feeling the way she did often meant that her self-consciousness was destructive. So, although they were decades apart in age, Miss Ellie felt that she not only had a responsibility to Sue Ellen as a mother-in-law, she should also make sure to help her as she would any other friend and that meant occasionally giving her a reality check, but mostly just supporting her.

Listening to Miss Ellie's words of encouragement and slight chastisement, Sue Ellen understood what she was saying and she could see that she may not be acting totally maturely; however, what Miss Ellie's words didn't change was how she was actually feeling. No matter how much she was reminded that her body was working overtime to support two lives, she couldn't help but wish that it would be over soon; she was more than ready to meet her baby and selfishly, she was ready to start working on getting her old body and energy back. They'd hired a baby nurse for her own peace of mind about having someone qualified to deal with anything that she didn't know how and to make sure that there was always someone available to look after the baby if she needed to go to a DOA meeting or some other commitment. Therefore, in knowing that she would have the time, she had planned and scheduled everything, at least as much as she could, babies didn't exactly work on a schedule, even she knew that. Her doctor insisted that she and JR needed to abstain from practicing their conjugal rights for six weeks postpartum, to allow her body time to heal from the birth process, so she had decided that she would use those six weeks of mandated celibacy to try as hard as possible to get herself back into shape for the big night. It sounded completely selfish, she knew that, so she'd purposely refrained from discussing it, however, although it sounded selfish, it wasn't entirely a self-centred action; yes, she wanted to feel good about her appearance again and she wanted to feel healthy and fit again, but she also wanted JR to find her attractive and desirable. She wasn't stupid, she knew that JR had initially been interested in her for her looks, he had approached her at the Miss Texas pageant knowing nothing more about her than her name and college and that there was some unspoken chemistry between them, though she wasn't sure that that chemistry was independent from appearance. She felt partially responsible for making sure that he never had an excuse to cheat again and to her, that meant making sure she was exactly what he wanted and expected, both personality and appearance wise. Her mother was superficial and had taught her to prioritise certain things over others and even knowing that it probably wasn't entirely right wasn't enough to stop her thinking that way. She was aware that it was a pretty twisted idea, that her husband wouldn't love her if she weren't the same woman physically, that he had originally married, but she wasn't going to take a chance to test his love; she wanted to look good for herself and her husband and she didn't want anyone telling her otherwise. Alongside her low self-esteem was her annoyance at the way time seemed to be passing slowly; it felt as if she had been pregnant for years, not months and she was beyond ready to stop being an expectant mother and start being a mother. They'd purchased everything they needed months ago, so she'd been staring at a completed nursery for a long time, waiting and counting down the days until she could finally start calling it '_'s room', not simply, 'the nursery'. She couldn't wait to meet her baby and it was beginning to get on her nerves that she had to wait; she was spoiled by JR's wealth, it meant that she could get almost anything immediately, so to have to wait so long for her child was difficult, she wasn't used to waiting. Leaving her thoughts in her head, she simply smiled and nodded at Miss Ellie, "I understand what you're saying, thank you for listening to me and being here for me. I really do appreciate everything you do for me", she didn't feel like embarrassing herself any more than she already had by voicing her inner thoughts, so instead, she guided the topic of conversation in a more positive direction. She was being truthful in what she said though, because Miss Ellie had really been the one constant positive throughout her pregnancy and she had a feeling that she wouldn't be half as sane as she was now if it hadn't been for her caring and necessary interference.

To be continued…


	260. Distraction

**Dallas, Texas**

"Darlin', I can think of many more efficient and entertaining ways to tackle your frustration than pacing around this room", stepping behind his wife and placing his hands on her shoulders to stop her from moving any further, JR attempted to get her to relax. He understood why she was frustrated, she was a week away from her due date and had expressed every desire to have time speed up, or at least have the baby make an appearance early and he empathised with her position, at least as much as he, a man could. He completely understood her anxiousness and anticipation of actually having a real child to hold and call his own, he wanted it not only for his father and wife, but for himself too, he wanted to be a father and now that it was close, he didn't enjoy the waiting game. He also had an understanding of why she was ready to not be pregnant anymore; she was his wife and they spent a lot of time together, especially in an intimate setting; he knew that she was physically uncomfortable with being this pregnant and from looking and feeling her, he understood why. He didn't know how much his wife had gained, but from the way she tired doing basic activities, as if she were carrying something heavy, he imagined that it couldn't be very comfortable to have an extra weight attached to her body, especially not in her abdomen area. In a selfish and slightly chauvinistic way, he was pleased that she didn't seem entirely content with the way her body was now, because although he didn't find her unattractive, in fact, he enjoyed many of her features that had been enhanced by pregnancy, he very much enjoyed her slim, toned pre-pregnancy figure. He wouldn't be upset if she did carry a little extra weight in certain areas after birth though, simply because he enjoyed the way she had developed in a more womanly way at the beginning of her pregnancy and he knew that she had enjoyed the way he had paid special attention to her enhancements. However, in the current moment, none of the thoughts he was having about the future really mattered, because as far as his wife was concerned, she was the biggest, most unattractive woman in the world and didn't seem to understand that the way she was seeing herself was completely warped and not at all how others viewed her.

"Sue Ellen…" turning her around slowly, JR decided that distraction was his best bet, he'd already tried talking her out of her irrational mindset and it had gone in one ear and out the other, not changing a thing about the way she felt or was acting because of how she felt. "JR, what are you…" her sentence was cut off as he finished turning her toward him and kissed her as they came face-to-face, effectively silencing her with the ultimate distraction, him. He knew the effect his kisses had on her and he knew how to use that to his advantage, however, his actions weren't entirely about distracting her, he very much enjoyed kissing his wife and if he had his way, that wouldn't be all they did this evening. She was a complicated woman, but he was a smart man and thanks to the extra time and attention he now had since he made the decision to really be a monogamous man, he had begun to gain a deeper understanding of the way she was and the way her mind worked. From what he could tell right now, her self-esteem was low and instead of either ignoring it or trying to make up for her sadness in materialistic ways, he needed to tackle the issues head-on. So, in the spirit of being a better husband, he wanted to at least try addressing her body image issues, and having experience with his wife's personality, he knew he needed to show her that he loved her and wanted to be with her, not just tell her or allow her to imagine otherwise. She needed to feel it and he was making all the moves toward allowing her to do just that.

Hours later, after a thoroughly enjoyable and very distracting evening with her husband, Sue Ellen awoke suddenly. Looking at the clock, she noted the time, it was just after three in the morning and she was fairly used to waking up in the night to use the bathroom now, so thinking nothing of it, she stood, slipped out of bed and quietly walked into the bathroom. Returning to bed and laying back down next to JR, she closed her eyes and attempted to go back to sleep, however, for some reason, she was now wide-awake, though she wasn't entirely sure why, it wasn't as if she weren't tired. Switching positions in an attempt to help herself fall asleep, she groaned to herself as she felt an all too familiar cramping, the Braxton Hicks contractions were so unpredictable and she found them irritating to deal with; it wasn't as if they were real, so she saw no good reason why she had to suffer through them. Moving position again, laying on her other side and relaxing her breathing, just as Doctor Krane had told her to do, she was confused when the pain didn't appear to lessen as quickly as it had in the past. Sighing with relief after a few minutes as the pain did eventually dissipate, she once again began to try to go back to sleep, though just as she found herself drifting, she was hit by a sharper, more pronounced pain, one that she couldn't ignore or attempt to reposition her way out of.

Feeling his wife tossing and turning beside him, JR gently awoke, aware that something was going on, though not quite aware of exactly how serious it was. "Darlin'? Is everything ok? You seem restless", turning toward her, he mumbled a few words, not at all expecting the answer he received; "well, yes and no. I think I'm in labour, but I'm not sure". Processing her words, JR's eyes widened, "why didn't you wake me? Shouldn't we be going to the hospital now?" Letting out a small giggle, Sue Ellen was a little surprised at his reaction, though it pleased her that he appeared to want to help her, even if it was just by driving her to the hospital to hand over responsibility for her wellbeing because he obviously had no idea what to do in a situation like this. "Relax JR, the contractions are fifteen minutes apart and although they're painful and unpleasant, they're manageable right now. Doctor Krane told me to start counting the time between each contraction and only when they were around five or six minutes apart was it necessary to be in the hospital". Just as she finished speaking, another sharp pain hit her, completely wiping out any reassurance she had tried to give JR and allowing her to grip his hand, JR wasn't entirely sure what to do. He was out of his depth right now, even he knew that; the amount of pain she appeared to be in wasn't something he had experience in dealing with and acknowledging that, he made the decision to use the wealth and power he had. "Doctor Krane may have said that, but I want a second opinion. The Ewings have donated a lot of money to that hospital in the past and Ewing Oil provides only the best health insurance coverage, so I am calling the hospital now and you will get the care that you deserve". Waiting until she appeared to not be in pain anymore, he spoke quickly and reached over to the nightstand to pick up the phone, asking the operator to transfer him to the labour and delivery ward at Dallas Memorial Hospital. Resigning herself to the fact that she wasn't in control anymore, Sue Ellen tried to relax and savour the minutes without pain between contractions, because as far as everything she knew and understood about the birth process was concerned, the pain was only going to get worse from this point onward.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: The moment everyone has been waiting for is finally here ;) For anyone counting, Sue Ellen was knowingly pregnant for 75 chapters (mostly an unintentional thing, just like the 100 chapters it took to finally get them married, apparently I'm not good at being succinct :P), so yep, longest FF pregnancy ever :P Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	261. Waiting

**Dallas, Texas**

"Five centimetres. I'm afraid you have a little longer to wait before you meet your baby", the older midwife spoke in a kind and commiserative way that made Sue Ellen feel comfortable and less frustrated with the slow progression. It was almost one in the afternoon and she'd been in the hospital for hours, progressing at an even, but very slow pace, but although she knew she'd probably been admitted too early, she didn't mind; it pleased her that JR appeared to really care about her health and wellbeing and wanted the best care for she and their baby. In a funny way, she really was getting what she'd initially wanted, her husband actually present and participating in the birth process, even if it was mostly just by directing the staff to pay attention to her. Out of caution, she purposely hadn't made a big deal out of his presence in the room with her, she knew that he knew this wasn't what they'd originally planned, but she could tell that he was annoyed with himself over his original reluctance and that was enough for her. Gripping JR's hand as one of her now frequent contractions began, she found herself entirely thankful that he was there, not cautiously waiting out in the waiting room or worse, sitting at his desk at Ewing Oil, waiting for the news, as if it were just something that happened, without any real effort by his wife. She liked that he was there to support her, because he was able to calm her in a way that no one else could, and selfishly, she was glad that he was present to see how much pain she had to go through to bring their child into the world. Knowing JR, he would have been sympathetic to her, but he never would have really understood or empathised with just how much effort and discomfort having a baby required, so to have him present as a witness not only to her pain, but to the medical staff's comments and explanations was almost a blessing in disguise. Having her husband present throughout the process would save her a lot of annoyance and frustration in the future, because to have him actually understand that she didn't just check in to the hospital, deliver a baby and then leave, that there was a lot more to it than that was much easier to show than to explain.

"Mrs Ewing, how are you feeling?" walking into the room, Doctor Krane was surprised to see the infamous JR Ewing sitting next to his wife, it was unexpected, though she knew not to say anything about his presence, it wasn't her place and from the way Sue Ellen had described her husband's attitude, he wouldn't appreciate it. "How do you think she's feeling?" JR was irritable from both the lack of sleep and the stress of worrying about his wife's increasing pain and it seemed stupid for a medical professional like the woman in front of him to ask such a question, she had to know that his wife was feeling pretty terrible right now, so why she asked was beyond him. Shooting JR a serious look, as if to warn him to stay in his place otherwise he would be removed from the room for interfering, Doctor Krane then extended her hand, "Mr Ewing I presume? I don't believe we've met. I'm Doctor Krane, Mrs Ewing's obstetrician and hopefully, provided that Mrs Ewing progresses within the next eleven hours, the doctor that will be delivering your baby", giving him a polite smile, but not losing the seriousness in her eyes, she shook JR's hand and then turned her attention back to her patient, Mrs Sue Ellen Ewing. Sensing that Doctor Krane didn't particularly care for JR and understanding why, she knew more details of JR's bad side than most people, Sue Ellen attempted to move the two people she needed the most into a place where the tension wasn't so obvious; "I'm ok. It's definitely painful and I'm definitely not enjoying that its taking so long, but JR's been here the whole time and he's really helping me through the pain", holding onto JR's hand and gently squeezing it, she hoped that he got her message and relaxed a little. "I'm pleased to hear that. Now, do you remember what we discussed about breathing and relaxation techniques? Have you been using those?" gathering the information from Sue Ellen that she needed and then doing a quick physical exam, she then wrote a few notes on Sue Ellen's patient file and left the room to continue her rounds. She would be back to check on her later, but she did have other patients and right now, it appeared that Sue Ellen was in good hands, no matter what her personal opinion regarding JR Ewing was.

"Darlin'?" coming back from a quick trip to get coffee, JR had news for his wife that he wasn't entirely sure she was going to want to hear. "Mmm", hazily, Sue Ellen responded to her husband's tone; the doctors had given her some medication that not only relieved the pain she was feeling, but also made her mind a little foggy, but very relaxed. "Mama, Daddy, Bobby and Lucy are all outside in the waiting room and they'd like to come in and see you if you're ok with that?" He purposely didn't mention that his mother had called Patricia and that she and Kristin were en route from Austin at this very moment, because he didn't want to deliver two slightly negative pieces of news right now. It was just after three in the afternoon and despite the fact that she'd been given some pain relief to help her rest a little before she was tasked with the actual delivery, he knew she was still self-conscious about anyone non-medical seeing her. She'd been awake for twelve hours, in the hospital for around ten hours and with her lack of attention toward her appearance earlier in the morning, there was no way she wanted to be hosting visitors right now, even if she was feeling a little better physically. "Five minutes. Tell them the doctors don't want me to have to have a lot of visitors; I don't care if it's not true, it's what I want", feeling selfish and wanting to say no, but knowing that the family would get antsy if they weren't allowed to see her, she made a small concession and sent JR off to inform them. Doctor Krane seemed confident that she was progressing steadily and that she would deliver sometime this evening, so if the family really wanted to see her, then she'd rather it was now than later when her thoughts were elsewhere.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Just in the interest of giving a slight explanation, from what little research I did, I gather that back in the 1960s and 1970s (maybe earlier, I'm not sure?) they put women into what was called 'twilight sleep', making childbirth both painless and difficult to remember afterwards. If you're interested, you should Google it, I found it fascinating to read about.**


	262. Countdown

**Dallas, Texas**

"It hurts. Make it stop. Get the doctor back in here; I need more medication", seeing the tears streaming down his wife's face, JR felt helpless about his lack of real authority or power in the hospital and on top of that, he felt like a terrible husband for initially planning on letting her experience this all alone. It was painful for him to watch her in physical pain and he couldn't imagine how she would have felt emotionally if he'd abandoned her because he had followed his silly, traditional, uninformed view that men had no place in the process. The medical staff at Dallas Memorial, at least the ones in the labour and delivery ward, appeared to be very open and supportive of his presence and the only time he felt any real resistance to him being there was when he tried to put his foot down and make a decision that went against what they were recommending. He'd learned pretty quickly that manners and politeness were appreciated and respected there and if he asked nicely for them to do something for Sue Ellen, then they were more likely to do it. It was just after seven in the evening and having been in labour for over sixteen hours, he couldn't imagine just how exhausted his wife was feeling, not to mention how difficult it had to be for her to get comfortable. At least he was able to relax a little in the times between her digging her nails into his arm or crushing his hand with her own as a means of getting through the pain of a contraction; she had to deal with the initial pain and then the fear of the next wave of pain. Never in his life had he had so much respect and empathy for another human being, not even during his short stint in the military; Sue Ellen was the woman he loved and he hated to see her in pain. As much as he knew she had wanted this baby for herself, he also knew that a good percentage of the pain she was going through was because of her want to please him and his family by giving them the next generation of the Ewing family. He'd always planned on giving her a congratulatory gift, but he could see now that he probably owed her more than a pretty bracelet, some balloons and a bouquet of flowers and he made a mental note to deliver on that, because he was grateful to her, for everything. If at the end of this process they simply had a healthy baby, that was enough for him; a son would be wonderful and a daughter would be a completely new and challenging experience for him, but right now, the sex of the baby that was about to be born into the Ewing family was of little relevance.

Pressing the small button on the wall next to her bed, JR spoke into a microphone similar to the intercom in his office, letting the person on the other end know that his wife was in a lot of pain and a doctor who could administer pain relief medication would be very much appreciated in her room right now. Wiping the tears from her face and whispering a few words of encouragement to her in hopes of bringing her mind to a better place until the doctor arrived, he once again mentally chastised himself for ever considering leaving her alone. She didn't deal well with stress or pain and to purposely leave her alone would have been the worst thing he could have done. Even his father, a fairly traditional man, seemed to understand why he was there with his wife; he could see how much it meant to her to have a support person and even if it were a selfish hope that JR's presence would magically guarantee a Ewing grandson, he wasn't going to make a comment about it. During the family's short visit, it had been apparent that Sue Ellen appeared to be relatively happy and healthy and it wasn't entirely due to the medication; JR's presence was good for her. Unfortunately, at this moment in time, JR just being there wasn't quite enough for her though and as the door to her room opened and a doctor and nurse entered the room, Sue Ellen sighed with relief and hoped that her pain would soon dissipate again.

"It's time. Please, don't be scared, you've got this, you'll be fine. You've got everything on your side; you're ten centimetres dilated, you're young, fit and healthy. Medically, your body is as prepared as it can be, so I want you to focus your mind and listen to both my directions and the signals your body is giving you. When you feel the next contraction starting, I want you to take a deep breath and then push. I will count aloud and when I finish counting and the contraction begins to end, you may relax, but I really want you to focus. The more effort you put into pushing now, the faster you get to meet you baby", looking at Sue Ellen to gauge whether she understood what she was saying, Doctor Krane then turned to JR, "husbands are welcome to stay and support the labouring mother, but you may leave if you would like…" Not even getting to finish her sentence, Doctor Krane was interrupted by Sue Ellen, "don't you dare leave me now. I need you JR", starting off vehement Sue Ellen's words then changed into something more vulnerable; sure, she could do this without JR, but she didn't want to. "I'm not going anywhere darlin'", giving the doctor a dirty look for upsetting his wife, JR made it abundantly clear that he was there for her and their baby; "good. A support person is a wonderful thing for a woman to have, however, please keep in mind that you are just that. If I or Nurse Wilson here request anything of you, including that you leave the room in the event of an emergency, you must listen. This is not the time for arguing or mistakes; we all have the same goal, so if anything is requested of you, then it is for a reason. Understood?" she may have been a woman, but she was the highest qualified medical professional in the room and even JR knew that that was to be respected, she was right, they all had the same goal, "understood". Feeling Sue Ellen begin to grip his hand again, he knew it was time and turning toward the good doctor, he spoke, "start counting, my wife and I are ready to meet our baby".

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Next chapter, I promise ;) Thanks for the recent reviews, I'm pleased everyone is enjoying the story :)**


	263. Showtime

**Author's Note: Reviewer Honkytonkangel, it wasn't really detailed, but hours passed between the family visiting and visitor hours ending; Sue Ellen got her wish, JR made it clear that this wasn't the time for everyone to socialise with he and his wife and bribed the reception staff to reiterate his message. As for why they're not bothering them by trying to pop in every five minutes, a tough staff member made it clear (partially because of policy and partially because of JR's push) that extended family weren't allowed to hang around in the waiting room outside of official visitor hours and the Ewings were no exception. Patricia and Kristin were flying in from Austin and arrived in the afternoon, though they hadn't arrived yet at the time the Ewings were at the hospital. It took hours for Sue Ellen to progress far enough to be ready to give birth and it's around 10.30-11pm ish now. Hope that little backstory fills in some gaps :) ****Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing. Enjoy :)**

**Dallas, Texas**

"The head and shoulders are out, that's the hardest part. One more big push and you'll be able to meet your son or daughter", it was almost as motivating for JR to hear the words as it was for Sue Ellen and in waiting in nervous anticipation, he realised that the small aversion he used to have for the word 'daughter' no longer existed. If Doctor Krane announced that their baby was a girl, there would be no disappointment on his part; the whole day had taught him that life, female or male, was precious and took a lot of hard work to make it into the world. It now struck him that it would be incredibly wrong for him to feel anything negative toward his wife or child if she were a girl, it wasn't something anyone had any control over and women were absolutely not as weak as he had believed. The world had changed since his father was a baby, since he was a baby and would absolutely change again by the time his future child was of age to start working at Ewing Oil. Perhaps by 1990 when their child started college, or 1994 when they graduated and were starting their career, marriage, or whatever it was that they planned to pursue, perhaps the world would look like a much different place. It then struck him that 'perhaps' was the wrong word, because he knew the world wasn't static, it was always changing, it would be different, no matter whether he was ready for it to change or not. The thought of raising a child for the now and the future was both odd and completely common sense; he was one of three sons, but alongside his natural ability to succeed in the oil business, a lot of what he knew was because of what he'd been taught. He was the one very successful Ewing son and it wasn't only because of him, it was because of his father too. If he wanted his own child, son or daughter, to be successful, then it was not only going to be based on their natural ability, but what he taught them and he was determined to do a good job.

During the labour process, he hadn't actually looked at what the doctors were focusing on, his attention was mainly directed toward Sue Ellen's upper half, encouraging and giving her something to focus on between contractions. However, hearing that the head and shoulders were out, he found himself mildly curious about it, though not curious enough to actually look, the blood on Doctor Krane's gloves was enough to put him off making any move toward satisfying that curiosity, he wasn't that brave and even he could admit it to himself. "One, two, three…" upon hearing Doctor Krane counting again, JR's attention moved back to his wife and before he knew it, there were tears welling in her eyes and turning toward the doctor, he knew exactly why. Holding up the smallest, pinkest, little baby either JR or Sue Ellen had ever seen, it was as if the world stopped for a moment, as if no one but the three of them existed; they were a family, nothing and no one could change that. Neither of them needed it to be said, they could see it for themselves, but Doctor Krane said it anyway, "congratulations Mr and Mrs Ewing, you have a beautiful, healthy little baby boy", and quickly suctioning his mouth and nose and then wiping the gunk off him, she then placed him onto Sue Ellen's chest. Standing awestruck for a moment at the perfect image of his wife and his son, their son, John Ross Ewing III, JR's thoughts were brought very much into the present moment at the loud, almost shrieking cry. "No, what's wrong?" looking up at the doctor in panic, Sue Ellen's euphoric excitement and pride was disrupted by the pained cry of her child; she felt something she had never felt before, she felt protective in an almost primal way, she needed to shelter and comfort her son, because it pained her to hear him distressed in any way. Shaking her head and smiling, Doctor Krane spoke, "nothing's _wrong_. He's a baby, he'll cry for many reasons, it's how he communicates his needs prior to learning how to speak; in time, you'll probably be able to distinguish which need requires your attention simply from the way he cries, however, right now, crying is his natural instinct, he needs to get used to using his lungs in the outside world. It's much different out here than it is in the womb and just as it's a new experience for you, it is for him too". Satisfied by what the doctor was saying, Sue Ellen turned her attention back to her son, admiring and appreciating every little thing about him and trying her hardest to comfort him, even if she wasn't entirely sure of what she was doing. He was tiny and fragile, so his cries reverberated throughout his whole body, but even shaking and crying, he was the most beautiful little boy she had ever seen and she found herself falling more and more in love with him every second.

Having known that it was happening, but been too distracted by her new baby to really take notice, Sue Ellen was then a little surprised when Nurse Wilson handed JR a pair of scissors to cut the umbilical cord and then asked her to gently push. It wasn't as if she didn't realise that the placenta was still there, Doctor Krane had explained that in their appointments and earlier in the day, it had just completely slipped her mind and after the amount of effort it had taken to deliver her son, a gentle push for the placenta was nothing. Refocusing on her newborn son and the way her husband was looking at both of them with love and pride, she began to cry; she really had everything she had ever wanted now and she couldn't imagine having it any other way. Waiting as her son was weighed, measured and had an identification bracelet put on him, Sue Ellen was anxious to have him back with her, though she allowed Doctor Krane to hand him over to JR first. In all the excitement, JR hadn't actually had a chance to hold John Ross just yet, but from the look in his eyes, she had no doubt that he wanted to and as she watched her husband and son interacting one-on-one for the first time, she felt herself falling even deeper in love with both of them. "He's perfect. Congratulations darlin', and thank you", gently sitting down on the side of her bed, JR placed a light kiss on her forehead and did the same to his newborn son before handing him back to his wife, "I love you, both of you". It was clear to him that she was anxious to touch and hold their son again and it pleased him to see the pure love she had for him; he hadn't really been totally aware of it until this point, but this was exactly what he'd always wanted and he finally had it. He was a very lucky man and he felt blessed to be in the position he was in; everything was perfect.

To be continued…


	264. John Ross Ewing III

**Author's Note: Writing is a funny thing, in a way, I was just as convinced the baby would be a girl as some of you were :P But then I started planning out the next few chapters and something changed, I hope no one is too disappointed. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**

**Dallas, Texas**

After reluctantly allowing the midwives to take her son down to the nursery, Sue Ellen finally acknowledged to herself that perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea. She'd been awake since three in the morning and she was both physically and mentally exhausted; a few hours of sleep tonight would allow her to be a better mother to her son in the morning when they brought him back to her. Smiling at JR laying down on a bed that had been brought in for him, she reflected on the day that had been; it had been a struggle, but she finally had it all, a husband and a son, a real family of her own. She hoped that she would remember this for the rest of her life, though from the way the doctor had explained the drugs to her earlier in the day, she was aware that she might not get her wish. However, despite that, she had made JR promise to retell the story if she didn't remember, because although it had been painful and unpleasant, she would absolutely do it all again if it meant getting to experience the euphoria that came with seeing her son for the first time. Nothing could replace that experience and nothing made her happier than to know that JR was by her side the entire time. Slowly drifting off to sleep, she lay dreamless and almost motionless for the first time in months; May 22nd 1972 had started out as simply another day, but it had ended as one of the best days of her life, it was her son's birthday, and was the day she and JR really became a family of their own.

"Daddy may hold him; he is half yours", awaking to the gentle and soothing voice of one of the midwives, Sue Ellen smiled to herself at the image of her husband holding their newborn son. Although she found it a little difficult to recall all of the details of his birth, she was quickly committing the image before her to mind. Sitting up in bed, she winced in pain as she realised that the baby JR was holding had literally come out of her just ten hours before and although he was physically fine, she was still a little tender; perhaps the mandated six weeks of abstinence wasn't such a stupid idea after all. "Look at that, mama's awake", JR was constantly surprising people with his new personality and attitude, but none more than both he and his wife this morning. The way he was speaking to their son was full of kindness, reverence and held a hint of playfulness, something an ordinary citizen of Dallas would never guess JR Ewing was capable of and even his family would do a double take at. "How are you feeling this morning darlin'?" enjoying having his son in his arms, JR decided to keep John Ross with him for now, he had a feeling that he wouldn't get to hold him as much as he would like for the rest of the day, especially not when the family arrived later. Addressing his wife's wellbeing, he hoped that she wasn't in too much pain, she'd already been through so much yesterday and it seemed unfair for her to have to keep suffering. "I'm a little sore and still a little tired, probably from the medication and the sheer exhaustion of yesterday's events; however, seeing you holding our son almost negates all of that. I'm happy, so very happy. I love you JR and I absolutely love our son, thank you, for everything", feeling herself on the verge of tears, she mumbled her final few words before passing the conversation back to him, "how are you?" Feeling uncharacteristically emotional about the events of the past twenty-four hours, JR replied as honestly as he could, "I'm wonderful darlin'. I just can't believe that all of this is really real; it feels so surreal. I really have a son, we really have a son, there's really another John Ross Ewing in the family. This little boy is really a part of me and a part of you; it's hard to come to terms with that; he's really ours", he didn't quite know how to verbalise what he was feeling, emotional expression wasn't his strong suit, however, from the way Sue Ellen was looking at him, he didn't think he'd done a bad job. "What I'm saying is, I love you and I love our son and I have to say thank you too", gently moving, cautious of the tiny baby in his arms, he held up a hand to silence her protest to his gratefulness toward her. "Don't say anything", smiling at her, he hoped that she understood that he appreciated everything she had done for him, "now, would you like to hold our son?" grinning as he emphasised the words 'our son' he had all the confirmation he needed when she fluffed her pillows and held out her arms in anticipation. "He's perfect", not taking her eyes off her son as she gently stroked his cheek, Sue Ellen knew she was in love, more in love than she had ever been, with the man she called her husband and now, with their son. "He really is", leaning over and giving her a sweet kiss on the cheek, JR then held his son's hand, enjoying the moment that was, just the three of them together.

Allowing the new family a little time to bond, the midwife who had brought John Ross into the room from the nursery stood off to the side for a while. She needed to check up on Sue Ellen's health, but it wasn't immediately urgent and the maternity ward wasn't full to capacity, so to allow Mrs Ewing a little time with her husband and newborn son wasn't too much of an inconvenience. Noticing a break in the reverie the new family of three seemed to be in, she cleared her throat, "I'm sorry for the inconvenience Mr and Mrs Ewing, but Mrs Ewing, I need to do a short check-up to make sure that everything is ok. Childbirth isn't all about the baby, the mother's health is important too", in her sweetest and most apologetic voice, the midwife explained her presence and hoped that she wasn't intruding too much; although it was her job, she still didn't enjoy disrupting the sweet moments between parents and their new baby. Aware and concerned about his wife's health, JR spoke first, "I'll be right outside"; directing a small smile toward her and giving her a light kiss, he then excused himself from the room. He'd had enough experience with the check-ups the medical staff performed to know that it was better if he wasn't present, mostly for Sue Ellen's personal privacy, but also because he, as a man, simply didn't enjoy hearing the details about some of a woman's bodily functions and issues.

Wandering down the corridor to find the nearest phone, planning on calling Southfork to tell the family they could visit this afternoon, he was almost not surprised at all as he walked into the waiting room and spotted his parents, brother, niece, sister-in-law and mother-in-law walking in the door. It was just after nine in the morning and knowing his family, especially his father, they'd specifically planned on arriving right as visiting hours began, even without an invitation. "JR!" he'd never seen his mother run as fast as she did toward him this morning and it made him smile a little at the evident excitement in her actions; "how is he? How's my grandson?" his father wasn't far behind his mother in approaching him and although he loved his father, it did annoy him a little that he neglected to ask about Sue Ellen. He'd gained so much respect for his wife in the past twenty-four hours that it struck him as rude for his father to bypass asking about her, even if it were an honest, excitement fuelled mistake. As the rest of the family was now gathered around him, JR found it easiest to simply say what he was feeling, "they're both wonderful, Sue Ellen and the baby, John Ross Ewing III", pausing for a moment with pride and looking at his father as he said his son's name aloud, he then continued to speak. "I won't speak for Sue Ellen or say that I believe that it was in any way easy, but I can say that the doctors seemed confident that everything went as well as it could and that everything is near-perfect now. Sue Ellen's just being checked over by a midwife right now and I'm not sure what's happening after that, but I was just on my way to the telephone to call Southfork to say that we'd probably be ready for visitors this afternoon". Seeing the disappointment on everyone's faces that they couldn't see the baby right now, he felt a little annoyed about their presumptuousness, but decided to explain instead of showing his irritation, "it's been less than twelve hours since Sue Ellen gave birth, it's all very new. You'll see John Ross soon and I'm sure Sue Ellen will be thrilled to see everyone, but there are a few things we need to do, for us as a family, before we start hosting visitors. Please understand", once again, he felt as if he were being uncharacteristically nice about their interruption, however, with the high of being a new father and having his own perfect little family, he didn't care to spend too much time getting annoyed about things that didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. He wanted to get back to his wife and child and he wouldn't let anyone tell him it was selfish for him to do so, because they were his and this was his and Sue Ellen's news to share, everyone else was simply a spectator. "We understand. We'll wait, excitedly of course", Miss Ellie stepped up and spoke for the rest of the family, giving a polite, but still somewhat disappointed answer, however, being a mother herself, she understood what the first few hours, days and weeks were like and she wasn't going to allow anyone to ruin JR and Sue Ellen's experience.

Giving his mother a quick kiss on the cheek, JR walked back down the hallway toward his wife's room, however, seeing that the door was still closed and the blinds were still shut, he walked down another corridor, straight toward the gift shop. He'd organized for his own florist to send several large bouquets of yellow roses to Sue Ellen's room and he had a bracelet purchased and on hold at a local jewellery store, simply waiting his call as to which name was to be engraved on the inside before he presented it to her. He also had one more idea for a larger gift he wanted to give her, though since she delivered a week prior to her due date and since he'd only thought of it recently, he hadn't actually purchased that gift yet. However, he was JR Ewing and it was no problem to get what he wanted; his wife would get her gift, he just had to set the wheels in motion. What he hadn't organized though were any balloons, soft toys or other small gifts for her or the baby, partially because many of those gifts were gendered, pink or blue, but also because they were so simple that it didn't seem worth it to pre-order them. However, now knowing he had a son and wanting to have something to present his wife with himself when he re-entered the room, he made his way down the corridor.

To be continued…


	265. Family

**Dallas, Texas**

"Oh, Sue Ellen, we were so excited when we heard about the baby and seeing him now…", Kristin, although usually uninterested in the details of Sue Ellen's life, couldn't help but coo at her new nephew. She was just as enthralled by the baby as everyone else and although she'd heard her mother speak about the future Ewing heir securing Sue Ellen's place in the Ewing family a million times before, right now, she couldn't care less about the Ewing money. "Congratulations dear, he's beautiful", Patricia joined her youngest daughter in praising her eldest, Sue Ellen had done a good thing and didn't see an issue with expressing that; she was a proud grandmother and as a mother, she had succeeded in providing Sue Ellen with everything she needed to live a comfortable, well-respected life. On top of Sue Ellen's prosperous and happy present and future being wonderful outcomes from the birth of her first child, there was an even more obvious positive outcome, John Ross Ewing III really was a beautiful baby and it pleased her that both JR and Sue Ellen looked like proud, elated parents. She never intentionally wanted her daughter to be unhappy, she simply wished that she would have been more accepting of the path she had laid out that would lead her toward the life she deserved. In Patricia's mind, there was nothing wrong with her parenting, Sue Ellen had just been a difficult teenager and young woman, but that was Sue Ellen's issue, not hers. Her daughter's life had taken a more complicated path toward the end result than she would have liked, Billy Frampton would have made a fine husband, if only Sue Ellen had been more obedient and understanding, however, although JR Ewing was her second choice for son-in-law, she wasn't displeased with the way things had turned out. The Ewings were a well-respected and well-to-do family and she enjoyed the trappings that came with having JR Ewing as a son-in-law, even if the benefits were getting smaller and smaller by the year. "Thank you mama", smiling at her mother, Sue Ellen temporarily forgot all about the worries of the morning and felt a sense of pride, in part due to being a mother and having everyone compliment her on her son and in part due to finally having made her own mother proud. It was nice to hear something kind come out of her mother's mouth and although she knew it probably wouldn't last and she would start criticising her parenting soon enough, she reminded herself to just be happy with what she had right now, because her mother was who she was and it wasn't worth trying to change her.

"Quiet only when he sleeps, just like his daddy", laughing to herself quietly, Miss Ellie paused for a moment and then spoke again. "How are you feeling?" handing her grandson over to her eager husband for a moment, she changed from joking to serious as she took a moment to engage Sue Ellen in a conversation about how she was feeling, because although it wasn't the main thing on Sue Ellen's mind, she could tell there was something there, something was bothering her. Despite the wide smile on her face and the stream of joyous comments coming from both she and JR, she knew Sue Ellen had to be feeling something else, even if it was just physical pain as a result of giving birth, and she wanted her to voice those thoughts before sentencing herself to suffer in silence. Smiling at her mother-in-law as she addressed her as a person and not just as the mother of John Ross Ewing III, Sue Ellen was pleased that someone other than JR was concerned about her, though she didn't blame the rest of the family for their eager excitement, that wasn't what was really bothering her. "I'm very happy Miss Ellie; tired and a little sore, but still, very happy and very much in love", it was the truth, though not the whole truth. She had omitted the fact that the family hadn't arrived at a particularly good time for her and that seeing everyone interact with her son so well was making her feel worse than she already did. However, she wasn't going to get into her issues now, not with the rest of the family in the room and not before she spoke to JR. Sensing that Sue Ellen didn't need to be pushed into talking right now, but making a mental note to not forget about it, Miss Ellie smiled and politely continued the conversation, letting Sue Ellen speak freely about whatever she wanted.

An hour later, noticing Sue Ellen yawn for a third time, Miss Ellie took the initiative to start the process of getting the entire Ewing and Shepard family to start saying their goodbyes. She was enthralled by her new grandson but she also had a lot of empathy and admiration for her daughter-in-law and she could tell that both mother and baby needed sleep. It appeared that the maternity staff had the same thoughts, because just as everyone was saying their goodbyes, a nurse appeared in Sue Ellen's room to take John Ross back to the nursery. A little disappointed that she wasn't going to get to spend any time alone with her son before they took him away from her again, Sue Ellen stayed quiet, simply because although she wanted to be with him, Miss Ellie's comment about how she must be exhausted wasn't too far from the truth. Prior to the family's visit, she'd had her first real taste of what it meant to be a mother; with a midwife's guidance, she'd been shown how to feed, change and comfort her son and although she was trying her hardest to do everything perfectly, it didn't come as naturally to her as she'd hoped. John Ross had been fussy and uncooperative with her efforts and although she understood that it was neither her or his fault, that this was a new experience for both of them and it would take a little while to get the hang of it, it had still caused her self-confidence to drop a little. It saddened her that he had wriggled around in her arms as she tried to feed him, cried as she tried to change his diaper and hadn't seemed comforted at all by her attempts at soothing him to sleep. What hurt her feelings the most though was that whenever JR or anyone else went near him, he seemed to calm down a little and when the midwives handled him, they seemed to have some kind of special connection to him, one that allowed them to seem like the ones in control, not the tiny baby in their arms. As much as she wanted to try again to be the perfect mother, she knew that she was tired and probably not in the right frame of mind right now, so kissing her son goodbye, she allowed the nurse to take him back down to the nursery for a while.

Sensing his wife's frustration, JR hoped that she wasn't too hard on herself, she had to be exhausted, so obviously she wasn't operating at full capacity right now, and even if she were, John Ross was a baby, all he needed was someone with good intent and love for him, her perfectionist instincts weren't necessary. She needed to relax and stop worrying about it so much, she was a new mother, no one expected her to be an expert and no one was blaming her for not being able to immediately calm her newborn son, especially not when he was less than twenty-four hours old. Walking his family out of the room, JR couldn't help but feel a deep sense of pride and happiness at what he and Sue Ellen had done and at the response they had had received from their families; not once had anyone uttered anything even remotely negative about Sue Ellen or John Ross and that pleased him very much. It was possibly due to the fact that everyone was relieved and pleased that the newest Ewing was a boy, but he had a feeling that it had more to do with the fact that their son was sweet, adorable and everyone was absolutely in love with him. His parents had been waiting a long time for another grandchild and to finally have that, and for him to be a little boy, the son of the eldest son in the Ewing family, everything seemed perfect, especially since John Ross Ewing III had been born into such a loving and caring marriage. Lucy's birth had been marred by the tension between Gary, Valene, Jock, JR and Miss Ellie, but John Ross' birth couldn't have been more different; JR and Sue Ellen were finally in a good place in their marriage, they got along as well as could be expected with JR's parents and even Patricia seemed to be behaving herself lately. Things really were near perfect right now and JR envisioned that once they got over the small hurdle concerning Sue Ellen's approach to motherhood, their happiness would just keep growing; everyone had what they wanted and they were all in a good place to actually enjoy what they had.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: In case anyone was wondering why John Ross isn't constantly with his parents, in the US in 1972, only 22% of women breastfed and it was common for babies to be kept in the hospital nursery instead of in the mother's room. On a different note, there will be no chapter tomorrow night, but I'll be back posting on Sunday. Thanks for reading :)**


	266. Motherhood

**Dallas, Texas**

Awaking after a few hours rest, Sue Ellen noticed that she was alone in her room and looking around, she began to reflect on everything that had happened in the past day. Surrounded by yellow roses, blue balloons, stuffed animals, multiple bouquets of other flowers, gift baskets and a few small gift boxes, she smiled to herself; it was obvious that Miss Ellie had been phoning around town to tell people of the good news, because there were too many gifts for the Ewing's and her mother alone to have purchased. Although she didn't consider herself to have many close friends, it still made her smile to know that there were a number of people in her life, or the Ewing's lives, that cared enough to actually send a gift; it was nice and although they were just material items, she still appreciated the thought. Focusing on the blue mylar balloons with the words, 'it's a boy' and 'baby boy' printed on them, she found herself smiling widely at the message; she had a son and everyone knew it. However, while basking in the happiness of having finally delivered the baby everyone had been waiting for, she suddenly felt a little guilty about just how happy she was. Although she hadn't really realised it before, she had been preparing for the worst with the thought of having a daughter, because although she personally only really wanted a healthy baby, she knew how much everyone else wanted a boy. Knowing that she hadn't disappointed anyone with the birth of her child and seeing the way the family had unconditional love for her son, it seemed wrong to her that she was so relieved and pleased that she had had a son, not a daughter. She didn't honestly believe girls were worth any less than boys, but something inside of her was telling her that having a son was a superior situation and she found herself racked with guilt over having those thoughts and feelings. Brought out of her thoughts by the sound of the door opening, but still a little distracted, she didn't fully comprehend what was happening and was a little surprised when the nurse snapped down the barrier on her bed and started assisting her in standing up. Apparently, it was time for her to shower and start moving again; it made sense, but it still surprised her. She'd been so wrapped up in John Ross' needs that she'd almost forgotten that to the nurses, she was also considered a patient in need of their care and in the moment it was actually rather nice to have someone look after her as a person, not simply as the mother of a baby. Wincing as she stepped out of bed and slowly walking into the bathroom, closely followed by the nurse, she suddenly felt self-conscious; in giving birth, she'd lost the weight of the baby, placenta and fluids, but looking in the mirror, she didn't feel as if she'd lost any weight at all. She still looked pregnant and suddenly, her goal of getting her pre-pregnancy body back in the next six weeks seemed a whole lot more difficult.

**Tokyo, Japan**

_'…oil magnate, John Ross 'J.R.' Ewing, Jr. and wife, Sue Ellen Ewing, are pleased to announce the birth of their first child, a son, John Ross Ewing III, born May 22__nd__ 1972 at 11.05pm…'_. Not needing to read any further details about his first love's new happiness, Clint Ogden placed his coffee down on the table and sighed; he had finally lost Sue Ellen, not in the short term until she realised that JR Ewing wasn't the man for her, but forever. She was happily married to a wealthy man whom she loved and if Clint knew anything about Sue Ellen, she was now completely head over heels in love with her son, the baby she had always wanted. The perfect life and family she had always dreamed of was now a reality for her, but unfortunately for him, it was with another man. In the back of his mind, he'd always known that he'd lost her the moment she and JR Ewing laid eyes on each other at the Miss Texas pageant, but a small part of him had been holding out hope that she would change her mind. He'd moved from Austin to Tokyo shortly after graduation and although he'd been career driven in his work within the electronics field, he'd always had a secret ambition, he'd always hoped that upon his return to Texas, his newfound success would allow him another chance with his first love, Sue Ellen Shepard… Ewing. It was clear to him now though that any chance of getting her back was lost; she was a devoted wife and mother, a popular society lady in Dallas and most of all, she was happy. It would be a terrible thing for him to come back into her life now, not when she finally had everything she ever wanted, even if it wasn't with him. In seeing the newspaper announcement, it finally resonated with him; he had been her college boyfriend/fiancé and what they'd shared was special, but she'd moved on with her life and he needed to as well.

**Dallas, Texas**

Having showered, walked around for a little while, had a physical check-up and then spent the rest of the evening with JR and John Ross, Sue Ellen had fallen into a deep, restful sleep at the end of the night and waking up on Wednesday morning, she felt refreshed and physically less sore than she had the previous day. She'd initially worried about JR's presence after the birth, because Ewing Oil had demanded his attention so much in the past, however, seeing the way he was with both she and John Ross and hearing the reassurances from Jock and Bobby the previous day that Ewing Oil could survive for a little while without JR, she began to relax. Everything was really falling into place; JR's words of kindness and the gentle encouragement from the midwives was finally getting through to her and she was slowly learning to lessen her expectations and worries about being prefect and relax a little when handling John Ross. It wasn't easy and she definitely had a lot to learn, but now, even though he still cried and was a fussy little baby, she felt a little calmer and more confident about motherhood. She'd allowed Miss Ellie to talk her into having a baby nurse at Southfork months ago, simply to support her in a professional capacity the way the hospital staff did, and although she'd initially been a little wary of having another adult present in her baby's life, she now felt more comfortable with the idea. It wasn't that anyone was interfering and stopping her from being a mother, the women assisting her were simply more experienced and knowledgeable and they were there to help and guide her in becoming confident and competent in her role as a mother and for that, she was grateful. She couldn't imagine having no family or help with her new role, because when she failed to calm and comfort her son upon her first few tries, her initial confidence had diminished and being sent home without any support or help would have sent her spiralling down a path that wouldn't have been good for she or John Ross. No, she was determined to be a good mother to her son and if that meant taking up the offers of help and advice that were available to her, then that was exactly what she would do.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: The Clint stuff comes directly from his arc in the show, so credit goes to Leonard Katzman and Arthur Bernard Lewis for the general ideas.**


	267. Mr, Mrs and Master Ewing

**Dallas, Texas**

"Do you like it? I know we already have one that we bring on vacation with us, but this is specifically a gift for you, to use whenever and wherever you like. I've been assured that it's easy to use and it comes with this case that supposedly fits well into your purse, so you can bring it anywhere", handing Sue Ellen the camera, JR waited in anticipation for his wife's reaction. He knew she enjoyed receiving the jewellery and flowers he purchased for her, but he wanted her to be able to remember the event in more ways than just by looking at their son and the pretty, sparkly tokens of remembrance that went along with his birth. A camera was really a gift that kept on giving; it had practical usage, would last for a long time and allowed his wife to always have the means of capturing special moments, especially the ones he would miss while he was at work all day. He knew that she was always overly cautious when it came to their shared possessions and wouldn't dare just take something without first asking his permission, even though she didn't need to, they were married and what was his was hers too. However, even with his reassurances that she was entitled to take and use whatever she wanted, he knew that it was easier for him to simply give her something of her own, at least that way he was guaranteed not to miss some of the special moments in his son's life. Neither of them had many photographs from their own childhoods, partially due to the low popularity of personal cameras and partially due to parental disinterest, but JR was determined to do things differently with their son, even if it was something small like encouraging his wife to capture the small moments on film for no purpose other than memories. "I love it. Thank you for being so thoughtful", Sue Ellen still couldn't get over how amazing her husband had been over the past few months, he was like a completely different man sometimes and she absolutely adored how he treated her. It may have taken him a while, but he seemed to really want to be a good husband and father now and she couldn't fault his efforts.

"Is there film in it?" thinking along the same lines as her husband, Sue Ellen was ready to start making and capturing memories for their family and with the nurse fetching John Ross from the nursery right now, she thought it was the perfect time to start recording their current happiness. She'd been through a few emotional ups and downs over the past forty-eight hours and it would be a lie to say that she'd been completely prepared for everything motherhood had and would throw at her, but despite the challenges she'd faced, ultimately, she was happy, very, very happy. "Of course darlin'", mentally patting himself on the back at his successful gift giving, JR grinned to himself as the mixture of happiness and pride welled inside him. Watching his wife give birth and then seeing and interacting with their son had been an eye-opening experience for him and although he'd been reluctant to listen and really comprehend and apply his father's words to his own life in the past, he now understood what he'd been trying to tell him all the way back in 1967. There was nothing inherently wrong with being a bachelor and really enjoying his time as a bachelor, but there came a time in a man's life where he had to leave that lifestyle behind and face up to his responsibilities, first as a serious adult and second as a real family man. After reuniting with Sue Ellen, he'd really begun to understand what it meant to be a good husband and actually enjoy being married, but now that their son was here and he was a father, he had an even better understanding of what his father had been trying to tell him. For the first time in his life, he was genuinely pleased with the way everything in his life currently was; he had a wife, a son and he was set to gain control of 51% of Ewing Oil in just a few years. Things were good, very good and for once in his life he didn't find himself wondering about the what ifs of taking a different path anymore, he was happy with what he had now and none of the temporary women in his life or the pursuit of small, petty victories compared to the way seeing his family made him feel. Sure, he loved doing business and he got a huge thrill out of winning a battle or using his deviousness to crush an unsuspecting but deserving opponent and he'd probably never change in that aspect, but in his personal life, something had changed within him. He finally had the familial love he'd longed for his entire life, even when he didn't want to admit to it, and he wasn't prepared to do anything to mess that up. What he did in business was for them; he wanted his son to grow up looking at him with the same reverence he had for his father and he wanted his wife to be proud to be Mrs JR Ewing. Now, his plans to build Ewing Oil into the biggest independent oil company in Texas were not only for his own ego and to make his father proud, they were for his son, his wife and their family.

"Mama loves you, yes I do", speaking softly and playfully as she worked on fastening his new diaper, Sue Ellen smiled as her son quietly gurgled and she was convinced that he even let out a small hint of a smile, as much as a newborn could, in response to her words. Perhaps everyone had been right, he did seem to be responding better to her calmness and relaxed demeanour than her previous tense disposition. Allowing herself to relax and just interact with him as if it were a normal thing, not something she were being graded on really did seem to be a better, more successful approach and although she knew that his contentedness wouldn't last forever, his current mood was slowly building her self-confidence back up. "There we go, all done", snapping his tiny yellow sleeper onesie together, she picked him up and held him to her chest, loving the way he felt against her. She always loved her son and nothing could change that, but in moments when he was calm and content like he was now, her heart swelled with happiness and she couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the feelings she had for him. She'd wanted a family of her own for years, prior to JR, prior to Clint or any of the other men she had dated, she'd always imagined that her future would look something like her reality was now and the fact that she was comparing the two and had no disappointments pleased her greatly. Provided that the doctors were happy with their health, she and John Ross would be leaving the hospital and heading home to Southfork to start their lives together tomorrow and as much as she sometimes wished that she and JR lived on their own, she was grateful for the familial love and support living at Southfork would provide. Taking a step back for a moment to observe his wife and son, there was no doubt in JR's mind that he had made the right decision all those years ago. Walking backstage at the Miss Texas pageant to introduce himself and then pursuing the popular beauty queen he now called his wife and the mother of his son was the best decision he ever made; she was a loving and devoted wife and mother and he couldn't have asked for anything more.

To be continued…


	268. Welcome Home

**Dallas, Texas**

"The bleeding gets any heavier or you have any engorgement issues, you call. You experience any discomfort that seems unexpectedly strong, you call. John Ross has any symptoms that appear to be out of the ordinary, you call. We're not in the business of abandoning mothers and babies as soon as they leave our monitored care, however, you have to contact us if there are issues prior to your next check-up, otherwise we won't know and we won't be able to help. Do you understand?" Doctor Krane looked at Sue Ellen sternly and waited for her to respond; she really did want the best for all of her patients and the Ewings had an excellent insurance policy, so there was no reason for Sue Ellen to suffer in silence if any issues did arise. "I understand. Thank you for all of your help", she really was grateful for everything Doctor Krane had done for her throughout her pregnancy; at times, she'd been the only person who understood what she was dealing with and although she was a professional, paid to care for the wellbeing of both mother and baby, Sue Ellen felt a more personal connection. "You're welcome", smiling at her patient briefly, she then motioned toward the nurse who had brought a wheelchair into the room, "now, are you ready to go home?" nodding eagerly, Sue Ellen looked up at JR and then toward John Ross; going home to Southfork was when everything would finally become real and she was excited to have that happen.

As they drove down the long driveway toward the large white ranch house, Sue Ellen smiled to herself as she remembered the first time she ever visited Southfork, she'd been awed by the beauty and scale of the property and had found herself applying the image before her to the imagined fantasies she'd had as a young girl. As a little girl, she'd always dreamed of raising a family in a place like Southfork and to be here right now, not only as a married woman but as a mother was amazing and almost surreal. "We're home", parking, JR opened his door and walked around to the passenger side to assist his wife and son just as the family walked out onto the patio and toward the driveway. For a moment, he was surprised to see his father and brother present alongside the women of the family, but he then reminded himself that to his father, the first Ewing grandson's homecoming was a monumental event and even Ewing Oil could wait a few hours. "Welcome home", Miss Ellie was the first to greet the new family of three as they walked toward the house and as quickly as she had spoken, everyone else took it as a cue to start speaking too, overwhelming Sue Ellen slightly but also making her feel loved and appreciated. "Sue Ellen, may I hold him?" feeling eager to participate as an aunt, Lucy pushed her way toward Sue Ellen, "Lucy!" JR, feeling protective of his wife and son reacted quickly toward her swift action, grabbing her arm as she attempted to get Sue Ellen to hand the baby over to her. "He's small and fragile, you need to calm down around him", his words came out in an angry tone and Lucy couldn't help but feel a little upset by his admonishment, she was just trying to be nice, but instead she'd been told off, she didn't understand what his problem was. Agreeing with what JR had said but noticing that his tone had come out sounding as if he were angry with Lucy, not simply protective of his son, Sue Ellen felt a little sorry for Lucy and attempted to right the situation, "that's right, he's small and we must be careful around him. I know you're excited to hold him though, so how about we go inside and sit down and then you can hold him?" The last thing she needed was to deal with bratty Lucy and it seemed smarter to fix the problem now than to let her stew in her feelings. "Ok", speaking in a softer and more deflated way than her previous excited tone, Lucy acknowledged that what JR and Sue Ellen were saying was correct, though it didn't make her feel any better to have been called out about her honest gesture in front of the family. "May I hold him after Lucy?" Kristin, who was still in a surprisingly good mood, mostly due to the cuteness of her new nephew, not because she'd changed the way she felt about her sister, moved in on the conversation. She knew that if she didn't ask now, she'd be last in line, that was simply how it worked in a large family like the Ewings, she wasn't a priority for anyone, so she'd learned to make herself a priority. "Of course Kristin; everyone may hold him, as long as he doesn't start getting upset by all of the attention", she hadn't expected to come home to such a crowd and although it was nice to know everyone cared, it was still a lot for Sue Ellen to deal with. However, seeing it from the family's perspective, she noted that they were all excited for the new Ewing baby and they'd not been around him as much as she and JR had, so of course they were eager to spend time with him now that he was home. They were a family of three, but they were also part of an extended family and it would be unfair to purposely limit the amount of time John Ross spent with his extended family, at least within reason. She and JR would always be his parents, but he had aunts, uncles and grandparents too and they deserved to be able to show their love for him. Ushering everyone inside, Miss Ellie directed Teresa to bring in some refreshments for them and made sure that Sue Ellen had everything she needed to be comfortable; seeing the entire family together and happy was a joy and she would do everything in her power to make sure it stayed that way.

"He sure does cry a lot", swiftly handing her nephew back to her elder sister, Kristin made a strikingly obvious observation; although the newest little Ewing was a very cute and sometimes cuddly child, he was first and foremost a baby and when taken down to a base level, babies mostly just ate, cried, pooped and slept. "He must be getting tired; this is a big day for him, he's not used to having so many people around him, it's very overwhelming for a baby to focus on that much information. I think I'd better take him upstairs for a nap…" as if it were an obvious exit line, explaining her intent and future absence, Sue Ellen replied and then stood. She intended on putting her son down for a nap herself, however, from the quick reaction of her mother-in-law, the baby nurse and surprisingly, her own mother, it appeared that everyone else had other ideas about who was in charge of tending to his needs. "If you don't mind, I'd really like to do it myself. I am his mother and it's his first day home…" looking at JR as she spoke, her mood improved slightly as she noted that he was intently observing the situation, ready to mediate if things got too heated but generally staying quiet as to not belittle her position by controlling the situation with his power alone. She then turned her attention back toward the three women who were now discussing her opinion, as if her looking after her own son were only one of many options right now, which in her mind, it wasn't. "It's ok, I can manage…" readjusting her son's position in her arms, she nodded goodbye to everyone and silently left the room, the sound of John Ross' tired whimpers the only thing indicating her position in the house. She didn't know what to say in situations like these, she didn't want to be perceived as rude and tell everyone that she didn't want their help right now, that she was a perfectly capable adult and she didn't always need everyone to do things for her, however, that's exactly what she wanted to say. Instead of getting in an argument though, she'd simply left the room, making her decision clear without having to verbalise it again; they could argue all they wanted, it wouldn't make any difference to her, she had her son and she was going to look after him exactly as she saw fit. As much as she liked having family around and people willing to assist her, she needed everyone to remember that she was his mother and she and JR were the final decision makers in his life. If everyone respected that, then everything would be ok.

Walking into the nursery, she felt a wave of emotion as it all became real; she and Miss Ellie had spent months perfecting the room and now the baby that it was for was actually here to use it. Hearing the door close behind her, she was brought back into the present and gulped as she realised that she was probably going to have to deal with the fallout from her previous 'rudeness'. Noticing her slight jump at the door closing, JR knew not to open with anything other than what she wanted to hear, "it's just me darlin'. I had a word with everyone downstairs, they understand where you're coming from and they'll try to respect that we're his parents…" walking over toward her, he stood next to her and gently patted his son on the back, "now darlin', enough talk, let's put our son to bed, together". He was enjoying the role of being a father and as much as he thought his wife overreacted slightly to things sometimes, he understood where she was coming from on the previous issue; being a man, he didn't quite experience things the way she did, but he understood why she would feel the way she did. His father was a proud grandfather and JR wanted his son to respect him the way he respected his daddy, however, he didn't want him to grow up fearing him or feeling as if he had to be overly formal in his presence. It wasn't the same thing, but he understood the need to establish a power hierarchy early on, because if he didn't, he could potentially end up being steamrolled by his father when it came to decisions about his son and as much as he loved his father, he didn't want to replicate his own childhood. "I'd like that", smiling to herself, Sue Ellen let out a sigh of relief; she'd probably have to deal with everyone at some point, but that was an issue to deal with later, right now, she and JR had more important things to focus on.

To be continued…


	269. Week One

**Dallas, Texas**

"Mrs Ewing, I assure you, your son is in good hands. Now, please, you need rest. Master Ewing and I will see you in eight hours", Mrs Smith, a lovely older woman with years of experience as both a mother and a baby nurse, spoke quietly as she encouraged Sue Ellen to go to sleep. The elder Mrs Ewing had hired her, though she was caring for the younger Mrs Ewing's son, and she suspected that the slight disparity in what was expected of her came more from the minor miscommunication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, rather than she and the two Mrs Ewings. In her experience, it wasn't uncommon for first time mothers to feel a little guilty about leaving their child in the care of someone else in their own home, even when they'd hired her themselves, but she also knew that most of the time, all they needed was a little assurance that they weren't being neglectful. She was a firm believer in the idea that it was better for a baby to have a loving, attentive mother for 2/3 of the day than to have a tired, overworked and possibly inattentive mother for the whole day. In hiring her to look after their child through the night and selectively during the day, they were making moves toward improving the quality of the relationship between parent and child and were investing in their child's future. At least, that's how she saw it; she had no real research to back-up her idea, however, anecdotally, she knew of many women and children who had benefitted greatly from her services. "Ok… I will be right down the hall if John Ross needs me", picking her son up and kissing him goodnight, she joined JR in leaving the nursery and walking down the hall to their bedroom. It wasn't as if she'd ever actually cared for John Ross at night before, he'd always spent nights in the hospital nursery, but seeing him in his own nursery at Southfork and knowing that he would wake up at least once, she felt a strong urge to be there for him. However, JR and Miss Ellie had strongly encouraged her to listen to the advice the baby nurse was giving her, she deserved to sleep too and Mrs Smith was a professional, just as the hospital staff had been. John Ross would be there in the morning and she would be able to do everything for him again multiple times tomorrow; his needs were round-the-clock and she was lucky to have help with them. It was a blessing for her to get to sleep through the night and wake up refreshed and ready to be a good mother in the morning, not every woman had those benefits and if they were available to her, then she was entitled to take them and not feel guilty about it.

Getting back into their usual morning routine, though without the occasional morning intimacy that she and JR had established prior to giving birth, Sue Ellen awoke on Monday morning feeling good; physically, she was beginning to heal and mentally and emotionally, she was getting used to what it meant to be a mother. In just sixteen hours, her son would be a week old, though in a way, it felt as if he was both much older and much younger than that. The past week had been filled with ups and downs, from feeling surprisingly guilty about her excitement over having a son to the first little speedbumps that came with getting used to catering to another human being's every need and getting used to having so much attention directed toward her, though not really at her personally. It was an adjustment for everyone, but she was finally getting used to it and she could honestly say that being a mother was as fulfilling as she had hoped, though it wasn't in the way she had originally imagined when her and JR's child was still a figment of her imagination. She'd never known the type of love she could feel for another human being, it was different to the overwhelming romantic love she felt for JR and it was different to the feelings she felt for her family and friends; being a mother had introduced her to a whole new set of emotions and she was enjoying them immensely.

In imagining having a child, she'd never quite expected to get excited about tiny things, like feeling him grasp her finger or even just getting him to burp without regurgitating the entire contents of his stomach. It had never occurred to her that in caring for him and being responsible for his every need, she would begin to see his actions as a reflection of her parenting and it fed her feelings for him to see him thriving under the care of everyone at Southfork. JR had been amazing over the past week and it saddened her that their lives were about to change again with him going back to work this week; she'd gotten used to having him around during the day and selfishly, she didn't want to share his attention with anyone other than their son. Of course, she knew how much Ewing Oil meant to them and even though they had more than enough money in the bank and investments to provide a steady income for them to live a nice, comfortable life, it wouldn't be fair to him to ask him to step back from the business. She had a feeling that JR was beginning to gain a new perspective on life though and even though he would still be a dedicated businessman, she didn't anticipate him neglecting any of his personal responsibilities in favour of Ewing Oil. She could see how much he already loved his new life and she felt the change in him; everything he was doing at Ewing Oil was in hopes that their family would have a good future, not simply because he wanted to boost his own ego and please his father. JR Ewing was an oilman and a family man, he was everything she'd ever wanted in a husband and she hoped that their lives always stayed that way, even when things got tense or stressful in one area; she would always love him and support him and she wanted everyone to know that.

Arriving at work on Monday morning, JR felt odd; he was excited and ready to get back into his work, he loved the oil business, but at the same time, he felt a little sad at the knowledge that his wife and son were at Southfork, living their lives and inevitably making memories without him. It had been different when he and Sue Ellen were just a married couple, she had her activities and responsibilities and he had his and although they missed each other during the time they were apart, they were able to come together at the end of the day and still maintain a strong relationship. He worried that with all of the new responsibilities in his life, he wouldn't be able to be the father and husband he wanted to be while still operating at full capacity at Ewing Oil. He was determined to juggle everything and give one hundred percent of himself to everyone who he considered important though and when JR Ewing set out to achieve something, chances were that it would happen, so with a lot of hard work and conscious consideration, he was sure that he could do it. He would make his son, wife and father proud of him and he would feel good about it, of that he was sure.

To be continued…


	270. Jealousy and Ecstasy

**Dallas, Texas**

"Please have this framed and placed on my desk next to the photograph of my wife by the end of the day", handing his new favourite photograph to his secretary, JR looked over the stack of messages she had handed him and then walked into his office. "Oh, isn't this photo just adorable, no wonder Mr Ewing is proud, his son is beautiful; the perfect mixture of both Mr and Mrs Ewing", admiring the photograph, a candid of John Ross that had been taken at the perfect moment, capturing his sweet disposition on film, JR's secretary Diane didn't notice the way Julie was looking at her. "I'll have to encourage Mr Ewing to have his wife and son visit office more often", making a comment more to herself than to Julie, Jock's secretary, she then slid the photograph into an envelope to protect it from damage prior to being framed and then placed it neatly in a stack on her desk. A little annoyed that Diane seemed so joyful about JR's life developments and extremely jealous that JR now had everything he wanted and seemed genuinely happy with the way everything was, Julie stood and excused herself for a moment, walking down the hall to the bathroom.

She'd been sure that when Sue Ellen left JR earlier in her pregnancy that their marriage was doomed to fail and JR would be an available man again soon enough, however, much to her chagrin, almost the exact opposite had happened. Taking a few days break from the office on the orders of Jock, she had assumed that JR would do as his daddy said, he would bring his wife and more importantly, his son back to Southfork, but she never expected that it would be an honest move, one that almost completely changed the man she knew. In the past, even when JR was in one of his 'committed husband' moods, she'd always ended up in bed with him again eventually, however, upon returning to Southfork with his wife, everything had changed. JR hadn't looked twice at her in months, now it seemed that he was too into his annoyingly perfect, former beauty queen wife to pay any attention to a lowly secretary like her. He'd been trying to keep to regular work hours too, even when there was actual work to be done; he'd treated his wife to more gifts and gestures than she'd seen since they were dating and in general, he seemed to have more respect for what it meant to be a businessman without being a philanderer. Those were all big changes for him and she'd noticed them almost immediately after he and Sue Ellen reconciled; however, the biggest and most noticeable change to her was the fact that he no longer went through secretaries like calendar pages. It was no coincidence that Diane had joined Ewing Oil at almost the exact time everything else was happening; she was pretty and sweet, but quiet and slightly nerdy and most importantly, happily married. From the few conversations they'd had, Julie suspected that Diane had come top of her class at secretarial school based entirely on her grades, not her ability to bat her eyelids and talk her way out of situation and knowing Jock as well as she did, she had a feeling that that was exactly what he wanted. In fact, he probably would have hired an older woman for JR's new secretary if he weren't so invested in giving their business partners something to admire while they waited in the reception area. Diane was definitely attractive, but she was no threat to JR's marriage and that was really all Jock wanted.

Sitting in his office and catching a glimpse of the photographs on his desk every so often, JR found himself completely content with the way everything was. He had the perfect family, his father was actually honestly proud of him, things were going well for Ewing Oil even though the wider economy was having issues and he was set to become the president of the company soon. The only negative was that it hadn't all happened earlier; he had really messed up in his miscommunication with Sue Ellen in their early marriage and he honestly regretted a lot of the things he had done in the two years they'd been married. He'd married a woman who loved him and wanted to please him and he'd essentially pigeonholed them into living by silly rules for no good reason; he could have had the things he wanted from his wife years ago if he'd just been more open-minded about it and actually communicated with her. She may have been a relatively innocent college girl when they were dating and he couldn't deny that the way she acted like a real lady was part of what originally fed his attraction, however after marriage, there was no reason why she had to remain a meek, mild lady all the time. By not considering that there was any other way for her to act though, he'd almost forced her into acting that way and he definitely regretted it now.

Did he still find other women attractive? Sure, he wasn't blind. He definitely noticed the swing of female hips and appreciated when women chose to wear clothing with necklines that accentuated their cleavage, however, he found himself also seeing his wife in a different way. She had always been the most beautiful woman in Texas and even now, a little heavier and curvier than usual, his opinion was unwavering; she took good care of herself and 80% of that was to appeal to other people, namely, her husband. She'd not shared her entire plan with him, but knowing his wife, he had no doubt that letting herself go was not on her agenda and in five weeks, when she was medically cleared to resume full intimacy again, he wouldn't be disappointed with her, emotionally or physically. As far as he could tell, aside from the small amount of weight she was still carrying and her new cup-size, she didn't appear to have any permanent marks from her pregnancy and with her determination, she would be back to fitting into her old Miss Texas gown in no time. He wasn't her though and although he knew her body pretty well, he knew that she would naturally be displeased with something, it was expected and if he'd learned anything during their almost five years together it was that she got enough criticism from Patricia and her own thoughts and it was always best for him to stay quiet. His advice and comments were welcome in many areas, but when it came to her appearance, compliments were really the only acceptable form of comment; with a beautiful woman like Sue Ellen though, it wasn't too difficult for him, she wasn't unattractive, no matter how she or Patricia often saw things. Hearing a knock on the door and calling out to the person to enter, he grinned as Diane handed him the framed photograph of his son and he placed it down next to Sue Ellen's frame; his father had been right, family really was everything and he finally understood that.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Just to clarify, Julie was Jock's secretary originally in the show, she only became JR's secretary when Jock retired, so at this point, she's still working for Jock :)**


	271. Routine

**Dallas, Texas**

"I asked Doctor Krane before I left the hospital and she said that as long as I felt physically up to it and didn't push my body to an extreme, I could start at any time. It's been a week and I'd really like to start moving again; I feel fine and I promise, I'll not overwork myself. I'll run for thirty minutes, come back, rinse off, change, and then swim for another thirty minutes. An hour's exercise a day is what I did pre-pregnancy and I believe that even if it's at a slower pace for a little while due to lack of consistent practice, it's not impossible for me to achieve that level again if I pace myself correctly". Sue Ellen didn't enjoy having to justify her every action, but she understood where Miss Ellie was coming from with her concern; her mother-in-law wasn't trying to tell her that she shouldn't want to work toward getting her body back or feeling healthier, she was simply worried that she would take it too far and overwork herself. It was possible that she may have done that in the past, she was a rather vain woman and working off the extra pounds she was still carrying was something that was important to her, however, there was a simple thing stopping her from going too crazy with her exercise regimen, her son. She enjoyed spending time being a mother to him and even though she knew that she would eventually have to split her attention multiple ways and get her life back to 'normal', that wasn't what she wanted right now. However, the fact was that John Ross slept for a good part of the day and during those times, there wasn't too much parenting to be done, so she wanted to do something productive with her time while he was in that state. Working out was something she needed for herself and she wanted for her husband and son and she had decided even before she gave birth that having a child wasn't going to stop her from maintaining her health and wellbeing.

She had mentally planned and was in the process of implementing a relaxed routine for she and John Ross during the day, but to do that, she needed to make sure that Miss Ellie understood why she did what she did, because although she was John Ross' mother, not Miss Ellie, her mother-in-law still worried about both of them. In the few days they'd been home, she'd started working on getting them on a loosely structured schedule; after family breakfast, she brought John Ross downstairs to wave goodbye to JR as he went to work, then she and Miss Ellie spent a little time outside with him in the sun to allow him to get his vitamin D. At around 10.30am, it was time for his next feeding, usual diaper change, a little playtime where she either read or sang to him followed by a little quiet time in preparation for his nap. The rest of the day happened in a fairly repetitive cycle, John Ross was just a baby, he didn't really do much else apart from his basic life cycle. Now though, a week after his birth, Sue Ellen was ready to change things a little; she wanted to use the hour from about 11am-12 noon to get herself back into shape. It all worked in her mind, while John Ross was sleeping, she would exercise and return to the house in time to shower and change back into normal clothes for lunch with Miss Ellie and in time to be there when John Ross awoke from his nap. She hadn't incorporated her DOA or charity commitments back into her personal schedule just yet, right now, she was still getting used to and enjoying every day with her son. However, she knew that at some point, even if it was only to maintain her adult brain functionality, she would have to start making sure she had enough time for herself too. She couldn't just be John Ross's mother, being JR's wife wasn't enough for her in the long run and she was determined not to repeat the same mistakes with her son, he was an innocent and didn't deserve to have to deal with her falling apart, he needed his mother.

Of course, her schedule was loosely structured specifically because even though she had everything planned out, her plans didn't always come to fruition and sometimes John Ross had plans of his own. She was flexible though and really, she only needed her general hour of her time alone each day to exercise, it could be any time, it didn't have to be right at 11am. Her biggest hurdle right now was Miss Ellie's apparent opposition to her suggestion that she would start exercising again, as if it were too much for her to handle at the moment. She didn't want to sit around the house all day though, she was feeling better and she wanted to start living her life normally again, as a wife and mother but also as a relatively young, healthy woman; she wanted to look good and she didn't want anyone telling her that she shouldn't or couldn't do that.

"Well, if Doctor Krane said it was ok and you truly feel ok, then I suppose it'll be ok for you to exercise for a little while. Please don't overexert yourself though, I worry about you…" In expressing concern, Miss Ellie was thinking of Sue Ellen's mental health more than her physical health. Over the past few years, she'd witnessed Patricia Shepard criticise her daughter's physical appearance in great detail and although her last visit had gone relatively smoothly, she could see that it bothered Sue Ellen to not be the same size, shape or in the same physically fit condition she had grown to believe was expected of her. If she knew Sue Ellen as well as she thought she did, she had a suspicion that she would do anything and everything to get back to the way she had been, if only to avoid hearing an exaggerated truth from her mother. In thinking about the situation though, Miss Ellie had neglected to consider Sue Ellen's perspective; perhaps she didn't just want to avoid her mother's criticism and the harshness of her own thoughts, perhaps she actually enjoyed being a healthy and attractive woman and she wasn't prepared to pretend that having a child automatically moved her out of that category. "I won't, I promise. I want to be here when John Ross wakes up, but there's no reason why I should sit around doing nothing while I wait for him to do that. Please don't worry about me Miss Ellie, I told you a long time ago that all I really wanted in life was to be a good wife and mother and now that I have the opportunity to do so, that's exactly what I intend to do. I'll be back in half an hour and I'll be finished in time for lunch and to see my son", hoping that her smile was one that encouraged Miss Ellie to believe her, Sue Ellen was also relieved when Teresa appeared in the doorway to say that Mavis Anderson was on the phone. It gave her an out from the conversation and by the time she arrived back at Southfork, right on time, Miss Ellie would see for herself that there was nothing for her to worry about; she was different now, everything was right in her life and she didn't intend on screwing that up. The old Sue Ellen had had a hard time just living, simply existing as an adornment on the arm of a wealthy man wasn't enough for her, but now that she had real goals and responsibilities, she felt more determined and focused, she would be a good wife, mother and happy woman, for herself and for her family.

To be continued…


	272. Confusion and Disappointment

**Dallas, Texas**

"Darlin', please open the door, I can't help you if you won't talk to me", sighing to himself, JR tried his hardest to be the loving and supportive husband he wanted to be, even if it was getting increasingly more difficult. It had been almost a month since their son was born and although he understood that she wasn't medically cleared to be completely intimate with him, he was still a man with needs and she wasn't the only one who was having issues. She almost never spoke about it, but from what she did say and what he gathered from her actions, she wasn't mentally in a place where she felt completely comfortable doing other things, things that by definition were intimate; even if he reassured her that she was attractive and he wouldn't be disappointed, she still didn't believe him. He didn't know what had changed; she was still an excellent, attentive mother and when they were speaking about normal, everyday things, everything was good between them, but anytime he tried to take things further, she clammed up and shut him down. He didn't want to imagine her with any other man, but the way she often closed herself off to his advances reminded him of when they were first dating and he had wondered how her previous boyfriends dealt with her apparent prudishness. From what he understood, she hadn't quite recovered her self-esteem about her physical appearance and he would always respect that if she didn't want to give herself to him in such a way that she didn't have to, but he couldn't help but be frustrated at the way she was going about it. Kisses were now chaste and if they turned passionate, she ended them before he got to a point where undressing was expected; she no longer changed clothes in front of him and even in her unconscious sleep state, she didn't snuggle as close to him as she had in the past. It wasn't just about her anymore, now he was beginning to wonder what was wrong with him, and on top of his thoughts, the physical frustration of being without the intimate company of a woman for so long was beginning to get to him. He'd never been good at finding enough satisfaction in only his own actions and in the past, he hadn't had to, but now, with his new commitment and want to be a good husband and father as well as the consequences of him digressing from that path, the frustration was beginning to build. He wasn't going to ask her to do anything she was uncomfortable with, but he couldn't help but feel a little annoyed that she was so opposed to so much. The selfish part of him was beginning to question whether she really wanted to be a good wife, because there was a very simple thing she could do for him, one she didn't have to take her clothes off for. Realistically, he knew that her issues were probably a lot deeper than the physical self-consciousness and she probably wasn't thinking straight right now and it wasn't fair to get upset with her, but sometimes he did find himself slipping into a more selfish state of mind, where his needs were number one. At the moment though, he was genuinely concerned; he'd simply kissed her as a sign of his love for her, without intent to push her further and even without any physical prompting, she had reacted in such a way that seemed extreme, locking herself in the bathroom and breaking down in tears as soon as the door closed.

"I… I'm so confused, I'm sorry JR… please, just give me some space", mumbling a few words in between her sobs, Sue Ellen wanted nothing more than for him to simply listen to her request and give her a little time to think. In her everyday life, her state of mind was rational and empathetic toward other people's feelings, however, right now, she couldn't remove herself from focusing on her own thoughts, feelings and fears. It wasn't that she was afraid of him hurting her or really pressuring her into anything she specifically objected to, but it did scare her that what she did give him would be a disappointment to him and he wouldn't see her in the same way he did in the past anymore. Her self-esteem about her appearance had dropped dramatically after her first week of working out and it was hard for her to come back from that. She had never imagined that exercising would be so difficult after having a baby, and coupled with the dissatisfaction she felt at the results of her efforts, almost three weeks after starting, she was having a hard time believing her husband when he said that his feelings for her hadn't and wouldn't change. He was a man and if her mother were correct about anything, it was that men were very visual creatures; he may enjoy her carrying a little extra weight in her chest and while pregnant, he may have found her growing abdomen cute, but now, she couldn't bring herself to willingly allow him to appreciate her body as it was. She wasn't comfortable with her appearance and she couldn't see how he would be either, it just didn't make sense.

He'd scared her a little tonight; they'd been out for dinner with the family and everything had been good, she enjoyed spending time with him and she enjoyed being part of a large family when everyone was happy; after dinner, they'd returned home, spent a little time with John Ross and then retired to their bedroom. That was where things started to get to her; he'd closed the door, kissed her and she'd enjoyed it, but in the back of her mind, she knew that he wanted more and even if he hadn't made any moves toward that 'more', she'd seized up and cut him off before he even started. She knew where it was heading and she just couldn't bring herself to actually go there. Doctor Krane had said that although she wasn't physically ready to resume their intimate relationship again and she should avoid anything that neared the point of no return, it wasn't forbidden for she and JR to resume some intimacy in their relationship, as long as she was comfortable. That was the problem though, she wasn't comfortable and it was a bigger issue than anyone expected it to be. She'd had it in her mind that six weeks after birth, when she was 'allowed' to give herself to him again, it would be a big deal and it would be the perfect evening; the reality of the situation now though didn't bode well for that evening that was quickly approaching. She wanted to look good and feel good about herself before presenting herself to him and right now, nothing was going that way; it was all wrong and when things went wrong, she often had no idea how to deal with them, exactly like how she felt now. In a moment of sanity, realising that even if her feelings were legitimate, it wasn't helping the situation to ignore JR, she unlocked the door and allowed him to enter, though she couldn't stop her tears from flowing. She really couldn't verbalise how she was feeling, not to herself and not to her husband, but instead of questioning her and pushing her for answers like he instinctively wanted to, JR simply accepted things as they were for the moment and pulled her to him, lovingly and not at all in expectation of gaining anything more from her. He really didn't understand her sometimes, but from years of experience, he knew that she often lacked feeling loved and wanted and the biggest thing he could do for her was to help her feel both of those things. She may have changed for the better in becoming a mother and she may have been getting stronger, but she wasn't immune to feeling vulnerable and sad and his job was to help her to feel better, however she needed. He would eventually get answers, but now wasn't the time for hard questions.

To be continued…


	273. Help

**Dallas, Texas**

"Please make sure you take advantage of the help he's offering, he's there to help you, we're all here to help you. You know I worry and I don't want to see you suffer", Miss Ellie had noticed a slight difference in the way Sue Ellen had been acting lately and upon being questioned by JR about her daily activity, her worry had increased dramatically. Back in her day, women didn't have a lot of help or support, pre or post birth, however, Sue Ellen was surrounded by people who wanted to help her and had the resources to do so and it seemed silly not to take advantage of her privileged position. It was an odd situation, different to anything she had seen before; Sue Ellen wasn't simply pretending to be a happy wife and mother as she had in the past, she really was a happy woman most of the time, however, there were things that triggered a change in her entire demeanour and that wasn't right. Eating noticeably less at meal times and physically pushing herself harder than she had in the past were the two issues that were most apparent to Miss Ellie, but from what she gathered from JR's cryptic questions, her old self-esteem issues were beginning to affect their marriage. Sue Ellen was a beautiful girl and it was ludicrous for her to be so harsh with herself, but simply telling her that had no effect on her; she had tunnel vision when it came to 'fixing' her issues and outside opinions often went in one ear and out the other. Miss Ellie was pleased with Sue Ellen in one area though, she wasn't completely in denial about her issues and she was seeking help for them, help that if she thought about it, Sue Ellen could have used years ago. Indirectly, Sue Ellen had told Doctor Krane about her weight loss and self-confidence struggle and Doctor Krane, being the intuitive woman she was, had picked up on it straight away and insisted that she not ignore the problem, swiftly referring her on to a mental health professional who she was set to meet with this morning. Doctor Krane didn't believe Sue Ellen's condition was bad enough for her to need serious psychiatric help in a hospital environment, but she definitely needed someone to talk to who could counsel her and help her. Society was changing and the medical community was beginning to adapt to those changes, creating and offering new services and ways of doing things and from the little she understood about the services available, they were perfect for a woman like Sue Ellen; she was mixed-up and confused, but she wasn't seriously disturbed or insane. "I will Miss Ellie", feeling a little closed-off, Sue Ellen gave her mother-in-law a polite smile and short answer before walking upstairs to see her son one last time before she left; today was a big day for her and she wasn't entirely sure how she felt about it.

"Why do you think you put so much pressure on yourself?" pausing for a second, Doctor Williams observed the way his newest patient reacted with surprise to his question, "you're surprised. Why?" he had two guesses as to why she was surprised, but his job wasn't to make assumptions and give her his version of the 'right' answers, it was to lead her to discovering them for herself. She either didn't believe that she put too much emphasis on being perfect, or no one had ever questioned her in such a way before; the answer was out there, but she needed to give him her thoughts, not simply allow him to tell her how she was feeling, that wouldn't be helpful at all. Confused by his question and almost offended that a total stranger had the nerve to ask her such intrusive questions, Sue Ellen attempted to swallow her annoyance, though her short, sharp answer revealed her feelings anyway; "I'm surprised because we've known each other for fifteen minutes and already you're asking about my personal life". Laughing to himself, Doctor Williams wasn't offended by her slight rudeness, it wasn't unexpected that she found him intrusive, however, it also shouldn't have been unexpected on her part that he was asking her personal questions, they were meeting specifically to sort out her issues. "Fair point. Was there something else you wanted to talk about? I'm here to listen, though according to the brief summary in your patient file and the small amount you've told me today, I do believe that my question was a legitimate one. But by all means, if there's something else you'd rather focus on, the floor is yours", waving his hand at the space between their chairs as a physical companion to his words, he waited for her to respond. Unsure of what to say or what to think of the man in front of her, Sue Ellen sighed, "no, I suppose not. How much did Doctor Krane tell you?" she was surprised that her patient file had any information in it, she didn't even know how she felt herself, so if Doctor Krane had been able to summarise it into words, she was interested in what those words were. "Not very much; we try to respect patient privacy as much as possible. I would really like to hear how you feel in your own words though, not Doctor Krane's words", handing the conversation back to her, he waited for her to say something.

"The pressure has always been there, as far back as I remember; throughout elementary school, middle school, high school and then college. It died down a little after I married JR, but that didn't last for long. I've always had something to strive for, I've always had a goal in mind and for the most part, I've always achieved those goals and I've always been able to work well under pressure. It was really only after I found out that there are some things in life that are out of my control that the pressure really started to get to me…" spilling a lot of personal information in the space of a few seconds, though not very specific information, Sue Ellen then paused as some unpleasant memories came back to her. It had been awful to feel as if she were failing everyone month after month with the news that they would have to wait a little longer for the newest Ewing to arrive and in that time, with everything else that had been going on in her life, she had buckled under the pressure of everyone's high expectations. Allowing everything to affect her personally, even the things she had no control over, had brought her down a bad path in life and she didn't want to ever return there again. Therefore, even if it was tough and she was uncomfortable revealing her thoughts and feelings to a total stranger, she was going to do it, for herself and her family; if it would help her in the end, then it was worth a little discomfort now. Surprised with her sudden outburst and revelation of real information, even if it were cryptically stated, Doctor Williams smiled to himself; perhaps they were finally getting somewhere.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Think her sessions with Doctor Elby, but a different doctor. I chose a different doctor simply because Doctor Elby wasn't that old and probably wouldn't have been a fully qualified doctor yet in 1972.**


	274. Insight

**Dallas, Texas**

"You mention elementary school, tell me about that…" prompting her and hoping she didn't close herself off again, Doctor Williams waited for her to gather her thoughts and speak. "Nothing specifically. You asked about pressure and I answered; that's really all there is. I don't believe my time in elementary school has much relevance to who I am now", feeling defensive and a little annoyed at herself for revealing something about her childhood that she didn't particularly want to dwell on, especially not with someone who was basically a stranger, Sue Ellen hoped that he got the hint and moved on. "Really?" raising an eyebrow, Doctor Williams shook his head slightly, "I don't think you honestly believe that. It must have had some impact on you; otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned it", giving her a questioning look, he waited for what he now expected to be a somewhat annoyed and snarky response, though none came. "My mother, she's very… high-handed…" pausing as she reflected on her relationship with her mother, Sue Ellen then continued to speak, if she really wanted to move past her issues, then she needed to verbalise them, she understood that. "She and my father never got along, she didn't think he was enough and she wasn't happy with what he did give, and to be fair to her, being a mother myself now, I can see where she was coming from; he really wasn't there for us very much. That being said though, she wasn't exactly practicing what she preached either. She wanted me to have better and she was determined that I would have it, to a point where everything was a competition, whether I wanted it to be or not. I had to be the best, but I also had to be the prettiest and the most appealing. I was set to be Miss Texas and Mrs JR Ewing from the moment she found out I was a girl; she threw herself into pushing me into the life she desperately wanted for herself but failed to attain and I always knew it…" Looking directly at Doctor Williams, she then spoke slower than she had been, "so yes, I suppose you're right; elementary school did have an impact on me, not so much the actual schooling, but everything else. The pressure to be more, to have more and to always want more was immense; I never really had a childhood, especially after Kristin was born…" she found herself getting lost in memories of the past and only when Doctor Williams spoke aloud did she snap back into the present again.

Still surprised at how openly she was speaking, Doctor Williams gave her another prompt; he was interested in finding out about the birth of her younger sister, however, first, he wanted to know about the obviously somewhat present, but hardly mentioned father in her life. "You speak a lot about the way your mother controlled your life and briefly mentioned her relationship with your father, but you didn't mention his role in your childhood. Where was he when all of this was happening? Surely your mother was not the head of the household? Society was much different to how it is today", curiously, he questioned her and again hoped that she didn't get offended and shut down; this was insightful and even if it wasn't directly related to the problem she had come to him to fix, the more he knew, the better he believed he could help her. "My father… he was there, but not really. The most vivid thing I remember about my daddy was the smell of liquor on his breath and honestly, I think that says it all. He left us right after Kristin was born; he probably couldn't handle my mother or the pressure of being a father again, but he also couldn't handle life, at least not to the extent my mother expected from him and I wanted from him. I guess it was a year later mama got a letter saying he was dead", wistfully, she felt a pang of regret at not being able to really describe her father, but remembering something JR had told her a long time ago, she decided not to dwell on it. She was the child in their relationship, it wasn't her responsibility to manage the situation and make sure that he was there for her and acting like a responsible adult and no matter how much she thought about how little things could have changed it, it was what it was and it wasn't her fault.

"I'm sorry", giving his condolences, even if they were over a decade late, Doctor Williams gave her a weak smile and was pleased when she nodded and didn't appear to be too wrapped up in her memory to continue, they really were making progress today. "You mentioned that you didn't have much of a childhood and I think I have a relative understanding of why, but you also mentioned that it got worse after the birth of your sister. Do you think that was because of her presence or because of the lack of your father's presence?" it occurred to him that to get a better insight, he'd be better off speaking to her mother, but as the issue of her childhood wasn't really the main focus of their sessions, he didn't see it as necessary just yet. Once again surprised at the direction he was taking their conversation, Sue Ellen took a moment to think about his question, it was an interesting query, one she wasn't entirely sure of the answer herself. "Both I suppose. My mother isn't incompetent, she knows how to keep a baby alive and stimulated, but there's also a point where one person isn't enough. I lacked a childhood for one reason, but I lacked a good teenage experience for another. My father's absence put pressure on us financially and socially and after he died, my mother really threw herself into making me the future banker. She never should have married my father, she had so many ambitions and she knew exactly what she wanted; she wanted to be the wife of a wealthy man and when she didn't end up that way, she was miserable and it carried over into the way she acted as a wife and mother. I didn't necessarily have to parent my sister physically, but I was the second adult in our house after she was born, even if I was only a teenager myself. I followed my mother's orders; I did pageants, I modelled, I took etiquette classes and socialised with all the right people and in the end, it did all work out the way she had planned, I did marry a wealthy man and she and my sister are relatively well supported by my connections. However, I didn't really choose any of this; I was young and controlled and there was a lot of pressure to be perfect and do everything and until a few years ago, I did do everything". Sighing to herself as she realised just how controlled her life had been and that if she had been in control, she probably never would have even met JR and she would definitely be a very different person now; she then found herself wondering how she felt about that. She loved her life now and even back when she was a young girl, she'd always wanted a family of her own, but if she hadn't followed her mother's path, she wouldn't have the family she did now and perhaps she wouldn't have been happy like she was now. It wasn't something she could change, but that didn't stop her from questioning it.

Sensing that their conversation was heading in a direction different to where he had originally intended, Doctor Williams made a mental note to come back to her childhood, but directly asked her about something she had mentioned a few times now; "that must have been hard. Everyone needs to have some independence and space to make decisions, even if it is in a controlled environment", nodding and pausing for a moment, he then spoke again, "you mentioned the events of your early marriage a few times. What specifically happened to you that made you feel like you were under pressure, pressure that you no longer had the power to overcome with your own actions…" he couldn't quite work out what she was hinting at, but as soon as she said it, it clicked. "Children", looking directly at the doctor, she felt as if she didn't need to say much more, it was a topic that really explained itself. Letting out an audible sigh, Doctor Williams was surprised by his own surprise; of course a young married woman wanted children and it made total sense that she would feel hopeless and disappointed when she couldn't simply work hard to make it happen, even a normal person without the controlled childhood she had had would feel that way. "I'm sorry…" pausing for a moment as he took everything in, he realised that it wasn't helpful to her to dwell on her past disappointments, especially when everything in the present pointed toward her no longer feeling that way about that particular issue. "I can imagine that much have been very difficult for you. I'd like you to remember though that whatever you felt during that time was completely legitimate and real, you are allowed to feel disappointed and upset, it's not a crime and no one can tell you that you are wrong for feeling the way you do, or did. I do have to wonder though, what are you worried about now? Because earlier in our session, when you first explained your life, you mentioned that you're a very proud and happy wife and mother. What is it that you're having strong negative feelings about now?" looking at her, he knew that this was something she was dealing with now, not in the past, it was a current issue and that made it more difficult for her to verbalise what she was feeling. However, from the look on her face and the fact that they'd had a surprisingly insightful session so far, he didn't doubt that she had the words, she just needed a little time to think of them. Luckily, they still had another 25 minutes left of their current session though and with the way she was opening up, he didn't think it would be too difficult to get her to return for another session, or two, three, four etc. She clearly had a lot of issues and even if she was a little reluctant to talk at first, she now appeared a little more comfortable with him and the general idea of their therapy. He was there to help her and she needed his help.

To be continued…


	275. Therapy

**Dallas, Texas**

"…and now every time I look at myself in the mirror or look through the racks at clothing stores I shopped at pre-pregnancy, I feel like crying, sometimes I do cry… it's also affecting my relationship with my husband, I cringe every time he approaches me in an intimate sense, even sometimes just in a general sense. It's an automatic response though, not something I'm purposely doing and I feel horrible doing it to him, because he has given me so much and I want to give him things, but I can't bring myself to actually do it. I'm not happy with myself and I know, no matter how much he says otherwise, I know he'll be disappointed with me and I couldn't bear having real confirmation that he felt that way or giving him something solid to push him toward being with other women again…" Spilling a few of her inner thoughts, Sue Ellen looked down at the glass of water in her hand; she couldn't make eye contact with him, it was embarrassing to think that a total stranger now knew so much about her life and marriage. She wasn't usually this open and she was beginning to regret getting so comfortable with his questions; she couldn't imagine that JR would be happy with anyone knowing that they were having real intimacy issues or her mother being happy that she was detailing the less than ideal upbringing she'd had. "Why do you feel that way?" hearing her explain how she felt, Doctor Williams had a fair idea of the reasons behind her thoughts, but as the point of their sessions was for her to make her own discoveries, he needed her to do just that and tell him why she felt and acted the way she did.

Snapping out of her embarrassment and into a state of semi-annoyance and anger, Sue Ellen spoke sharply, "I'm sorry, was I not clear enough for you? I just gave you more details about my life than I've ever told a complete stranger before and to be honest I really don't feel like giving any more explanations. If you can't understand why I feel the way I do, then perhaps we should end this right now, because you're obviously not a very good therapist". Used to patients getting heated in their sessions, Doctor Williams didn't allow her upset to ruin his mood and he remained calm as he spoke, "no, it's not that you weren't clear enough for me; I understood exactly what you were saying. However, you didn't answer my question", noticing the confused look she was giving him, he decided that an explanation was probably what she needed. "The crying, crazy diet and exercise, extreme self-consciousness and withdrawal from an intimate relationship with your husband are all symptoms of a bigger issue, they're not all separate things, independent of each other, they are all connected to each other in one way or another. I asked you to tell me why you feel the way you do and you gave me an answer that bypassed answering the question. So again, I pose the question to you; why do you feel the way you do? What is at the root of your thoughts and actions, because there has to be something, there has to be, these things do not just happen for no reason. I want you to identify and isolate the root cause and then together, we'll work on a way to eliminate the connection between the thoughts and actions", looking her in the eye as he spoke, he knew she understood what he was asking now.

Still feeling a little angry, Sue Ellen found herself listing off her thoughts again; "the root cause? The root cause has to be the irreparable damage my mother did to me in always controlling and criticising everything about my life and myself. I never learned to deal with things when they didn't go my way, because for the most part, they always have. I couldn't control my father's actions, but I was never expected to. What I was expected to do was be perfect though and you know what? That's impossible. I can't always be the best, the thinnest, the prettiest, the most desirable et cetera et cetera. I can't control what other people do, think or say and as much as I would like to control the way my body works and responds to the efforts I put forth, it doesn't and won't always work that way. As Doctor Krane has explained to me before, not all women's bodies are biologically programmed to snap back into shape straight away and it's not a failure to be one of those women. I know all of that, but that doesn't stop me from having the thoughts I have. I cannot stop myself from hearing my mother's voice every time I see myself in the mirror or try on an item of clothing and I cannot break away from the feeling of fear she instilled in me that I am my appearance; if I'm not the beautiful, elegant Miss Texas or Mrs JR Ewing, then I am no one. It still gets to me every time I see or think about the way I am now; although I'm expected to be polite and personable, those things don't guarantee me a good future, one of prosperity and happiness with my husband. I want to be a good wife and mother and I want to be happy with myself and who I am, but I can't, I have too many thoughts and other feelings running through me to just ignore those things in favour of what I want to feel". Looking at him as she teared up, she gratefully accepted the box of tissues he handed to her, because as hard as she tried to keep her feelings from appearing physically, she wasn't strong enough and eventually the tears began to fall.

Making a note that as well as working through her childhood in more detail, they also needed to work on her deep-seated self-esteem issues and her believed dependency on her husband for her happiness and prosperity, Doctor Williams then allowed her to release her emotions in her tears for a moment before speaking. "Firstly, I'm very pleased to hear that you're aware of so much, both the good and the bad, and I want you to know that I plan on helping you to move past those feelings, or at very least, help you to learn some ways of dealing with future situations like this. I'd also like to ask you something though, something I think you desperately need to consider. Has anyone ever told you that if you're worrying about being a good mother, then you probably are one? You've already moved past the major roadblock that a lot of women face, you're not in denial of any issues, you understand that something is wrong and you're actively seeking help for it. You want to see yourself doing and being a better person than you currently think you are, that is something to be proud of; even if that doesn't quite make sense to you right now, in the future, it will. You're here, you have a clear idea of what you want and I know it may come as a surprise to you, but I honestly believe that you're very much capable of everything and anything you want to achieve, emotionally, I mean. That is an excellent place to begin and I don't plan on discharging you from my care until you have reached a level where these things are not a primary concern to you anymore. I want it, you want it and I'm sure your family want it too". Deciding to wait on broaching the subject of having her mother and husband come in for one of their sessions at some point in the future, he gave her the encouragement and validation he believed she needed right now. He then made a few more comments encouraging her to really think about what Doctor Krane had said and then gently ended their current session. It was an odd thing for him to see, she knew what her doctor had told her was true and in a way, she accepted it, but when applying those truths to her own life, she appeared to have trouble. He wanted to help her to become a more comfortable and confident woman first and foremost and with being comfortable with herself, he hoped that she would also learn how to feel better about herself as a wife and mother. He anticipated that it would take a while, she obviously had a lot of issues and they went back almost as far as she could remember, but with the right techniques and strategies, he was confident that he could help her in the way she needed and she would be able to help herself in the future. "Thank you Doctor Williams, this was… liberating", in a way, she had been annoyed that she was the one spilling all of her personal thoughts and he'd really just listened, questioned and nodded, but in a funny way, it was also helpful. It was nice to just talk and not feel as if she had to censor herself out of fear of personally offending or hurting him; he had assured her that the Hippocratic Oath bound him fairly tightly in what he could and could not say about their sessions to anyone and the reassurance of almost total confidentiality was comforting. Stepping out of his office, she actually felt as if she had benefitted from their time together, despite the fact that it had been an unpleasant walk down memory lane for the most part, and walking down the hall and out of the building, she accepted her feelings completely on face value, not stopping to question and analyse them. Perhaps it wasn't such a terrible idea to allow someone more qualified to help her, perhaps it was exactly what she had needed years ago.

To be continued…


	276. Daily Life

**Dallas, Texas**

"I promise I'll be a good mama", sitting in the wooden rocking chair in the nursery, gently moving back and forth as she held her son in her arms, Sue Ellen felt calm and happy; there was something about being with her son that made all of her other concerns seem small and insignificant, at least in the moment. Her appointment with Doctor Williams earlier in the day had stirred up a lot of old memories and feelings, but instead of getting caught up in all of the negativity that came with some of her experiences, she was trying her hardest to focus on the positive side. Her mother may have treated her poorly and her father may not have been much of a father to her in the years he had been present, but she was determined not to let those experiences completely ruin her life. Having such a poor representation of what good parents were and knowing how it felt to live that way, she knew she had to give John Ross a better life. It wasn't simply a want now like it had been before she and JR conceived or when she was pregnant, it was a need and she would do everything in her power to make sure that happened, including putting herself through painful sessions of recounting and analysing her memories. It would all be worth it when she came out at the other end as a happier and better-adjusted woman.

Having fed, changed and cuddled him, she wasn't surprised when her son's eyes began to droop. He wasn't entirely predictable, sometimes things didn't go as expected and his fussiness and crying would last for a long time before he eventually fell into an exhausted sleep, but usually, a new diaper, full tummy and a little bit of love and attention were just what he needed to feel sleepy again. Standing as smoothly and quietly as possible, she placed him into his crib and watched over him for a few moments before she turned and left the room. As much as she would have liked to have stayed and held or simply watched him for his entire nap, she knew that it would be unnecessarily clingy for her to actually do so. She wasn't entirely unaware, she knew she needed balance and losing her own identity to only identify as a role in relation to her husband or son was a bad path to go down; she needed Doctor Williams' help for a lot of issues, but that wasn't one of them. What she did need help with was her constant struggle with her inner demons; her appearance, worthiness and all-round low self-esteem were things that she knew she needed to address and this afternoon, she was actually quite proud of herself for making the first moves toward addressing them. Doctor Williams hadn't said anything particularly profound, in fact, his words during their appointment had been limited, however, just having someone who was purely on her side and was there to help her succeed in dealing with and eventually overcoming her issues was a huge help in itself. She'd only been to one appointment and had stirred up memories that she would have preferred to forget, but despite that, she was actually feeling a little happier and more positive; it was good to talk to someone and coming home, she was reminded that even if she had a hard time in life sometimes, not everything was bad. It made her feel good to know that Miss Ellie cared enough about her to want to see her happy and healthy; she felt loved when JR expressed his affection, respect and adoration for her; and feeling the way John Ross went from distressed to calm because of her maternal actions was a great joy.

"Julie", pointing at the bar in his office, Jock gave his secretary her next instructions before turning back to his sons, "are we all in agreement about this plan?" looking from Bobby to JR and then back again, he was pleased when they both nodded and verbally agreed. The oil industry was becoming increasingly unpredictable and Ewing Oil needed strong leadership and management to ensure that they remained a powerhouse in Texan business; luckily for him though, his eldest and youngest sons both seemed to agree and understand that what was best for Ewing Oil was what they had become accustomed to doing. In the past, JR had travelled a lot for business, partially because he was the most qualified businessman Ewing Oil had, partially because he didn't trust Bobby to do any real business and partially because he enjoyed the freedom that came with being out of Dallas. However, that had all changed during Sue Ellen's pregnancy and Jock completely understood why those changes needed to be established as permanent; he had the grandson he'd always wanted and the way he saw JR interacting with him was something to admire and be proud of. He understood and supported JR's decision to focus on Ewing Oil's Dallas-based business and only commit to travelling on completely necessary occasions; it made him proud to see that JR was finally facing up to his responsibilities and that he actually appeared to be enjoying his new life. Of course he wanted his eldest son to do whatever it took to make Ewing Oil the biggest independent oil company in Texas and he knew that it would take a lot of time and effort to do such a thing, however, it all seemed so much more worthwhile now that little John Ross Ewing III was here. JR was his firstborn and they shared a special bond that he didn't have with his other sons; he may have liked and treated Bobby better than Gary or JR, but he couldn't deny that when it came to Ewing Oil, JR was the one he had originally worked so hard for. He wanted his son, his namesake, to have a real, solid legacy when he became an adult and throughout JR's childhood, teenage years and adulthood, he had worked on doing just that and now that JR had a son of his own to pass it on to when he retired, he knew all of his past actions were worth it.

"Yes daddy", nodding and agreeing to the proposed plan, JR found himself content and actually rather pleased with the way everything was working out; he had a son, a company and a wife and he couldn't have been happier. He didn't necessarily agree with or like Doctor Krane, but he knew that she genuinely wanted Sue Ellen to be happy and healthy and if allowing and encouraging her to see the recommended shrink to help her overcome her issues was what was going to help her and their relationship in the long run, then he could deal with that. He wasn't thrilled at the prospect of some stranger hearing and analysing all the details of their marriage, especially the intimate ones, however, if he sensed right, Doctor Krane already knew all of those things and despite the fact that she had a low opinion of him, she had treated him professionally and politely during their few short meetings. He would never meet Sue Ellen's new therapist and even if he did, he could deal with not being liked, there were a lot of people in Texas that didn't particularly like him and he was used to that. So, if she needed to confidentially tell someone about her/their problems in order to move forward with her life, then it was worth sacrificing a little privacy. It thrilled him to see and feel how happy they were as a family of three and he really wanted them to have a good life together for years to come; unfortunately though, there were a few dark spots in their marriage and they were things that despite trying, he wasn't equipped to deal with by himself. Therapy wasn't something he would ever consider for himself and prior to his wife's referral, he had assumed it was for crazy people, however, he was willing to try to be more open and accepting, for Sue Ellen and John Ross. He was a firm believer in the idea that oftentimes the steps toward getting a good result were irrelevant as long as the end result was what he wanted; it worked in business, he wasn't exactly known for following the rules, and if it worked in business, then he assumed it would also apply to personal problems too. As long as he had a happy, healthy wife and son at the end of her slight struggle, then he would stay quiet about his personal opinion on the whole area of psychiatry and allow her to do what she needed to do.

To be continued…


	277. First Visit to Ewing Oil

**Dallas, Texas**

"…and this is where daddy works…" holding his son so that he could see the office, JR couldn't stop grinning; John Ross was still much too young to really understand anything anyone was saying to him, but he wasn't going to let that stop him from sharing his life with him and Ewing Oil was a big part of that. Many of his early childhood memories involved fun trips to visit his father at the office or out in the fields and he wanted John Ross to experience the same thing. It was only after Gary was born and his mother handed over parenting responsibility to his father did the visits become less about spending time sharing fun experiences and more about training and preparing him to one day be the president of Ewing Oil. He understood the difference though and being so aware of it, he knew that if he and Sue Ellen did have more children, he wouldn't repeat his own parents mistakes; he wouldn't show such obvious favouritism toward one child over another and he wouldn't put so much overwhelming pressure on John Ross to always be better and achieve more. Of course, like any good father, he wanted his child(ren) to be successful and make him proud, but he didn't want it to come at the expense of their happiness or emotional development and stability. He wasn't stupid, he knew that the way he'd been raised wasn't normal or healthy and even if he loved and respected his father, he wasn't going to blindly follow his directions; he had a family of his own now and he and Sue Ellen needed to do what was best for them and their son. "This is Diane, daddy's secretary", holding John Ross' hand as if he were waving, he waited for Diane to wave back and then turned toward Julie, "and this is Julie, granddaddy's secretary", waving at her too, he then pointed at Bobby's office door, "that's where your uncle Bobby works, but he's not here right now". He then turned toward his father, "and you already know your granddaddy", in seeing his grandfather, John Ross let out a small gurgle, one that the family had come to identify as him expressing some happiness at the familiarity of a situation. "That's my grandson, so smart and handsome already", Jock, even though he wasn't particularly attuned to emotions, had a real soft spot for his grandchildren and he enjoyed doting upon them; it was less stressful and more fun than parenting and it made him proud to know that his family would continue to be great even after he was gone.

Observing the situation, Sue Ellen was pleased that everything appeared to be going well; Miss Ellie had convinced her that it would be nice for her to bring John Ross into the office for a visit, but knowing that JR was usually focused on one thing when he was at the office, she had been a little hesitant. Bringing it up in front of the family at breakfast though, both Jock and JR had surprised her with their enthusiasm at the possibility of seeing the newest little Ewing during work hours and their enthusiasm had encouraged her to do it. John Ross was exactly a month old today and she knew that it was about time that he began to see more of life than just what Southfork offered, even if they had an extensive amount of land for him to explore. She was planning to return to her charity work and DOA meetings in a few weeks and she was interested in checking out a few mothers and baby groups that Doctor Krane had told her about and with her exercise regimen and twice-weekly therapy appointments, her schedule was beginning fill up, just the way she liked. For the most part, she was happy and with the help of Doctor Williams, she was already feeling more confident about the future; she couldn't deny that she had a long way to go before she was the woman she wanted to be, but simply knowing she had someone to support her unconditionally was already doing wonders for her psyche.

Rolling her eyes as JR's perfect little wife and adorable new son arrived at the office, Julie couldn't help but feel jealous and annoyed; she didn't even like children that much, but that didn't stop her from wishing that she were standing in Sue Ellen's place and the little boy in JR's arms was their son. She and JR had really had something special and if JR hadn't been so insistent about having the 'right' woman as his wife and the mother of his child, he could have had the son he wanted years ago; she would've gladly gotten pregnant and been a mother to his child if it meant having a real future with him. It annoyed her that Sue Ellen's presence in JR's life had changed him so much, he was a lot different to how he had been in the past and she wasn't entirely sure she liked the new JR Ewing, for one, he practically ignored her now. It also irked her that despite having gained at least thirty pounds during her pregnancy, a short month after giving birth, Sue Ellen once again looked like the model and beauty queen she had been in her youth; the woman appeared to have too much control over both JR and her own life and it annoyed Julie to no end. It should have been her standing next to JR, not Sue Ellen. "Julie?" hearing Diane's sweet voice, she was brought back into the present, "yes Diane?" noticing her co-worker had the smallest Ewing in her arms, she then worked out why she was speaking, "would you like to hold him?" Ordinarily, she wasn't particularly maternal and she had no real desire to spend time with or even think about children, but right now, with her previous thoughts, something inside her was telling her to hold him. As Diane passed the small, delicate little baby to her, she felt him squirm for a moment before settling; looking at him, she understood why people liked babies, he was rather cute; perhaps children weren't so bad after all. "Aren't you sweet?" getting into it, she bounced him on her knee for a moment, as if it were something that was a completely natural action to her. If she couldn't be Mrs JR Ewing or the mother of John Ross Ewing III, she could at least pretend that she was in her mind; showing a small amount of maternal affection might even show JR what he was missing out on.

"Er, Julie", ignoring Sue Ellen's soft voice, she soon regretted everything; her happy thoughts and actions and wilful disregard of Sue Ellen's attempt to get her attention hadn't turned out in the way she had expected and now covered in baby spit up, any semblance of a positive attitude toward children was gone. Letting out a loud, shocked scream and then a string of annoyed words, she practically thrust the icky creature into his mother's arms and despite the fact that Sue Ellen appeared to be apologising, she sensed that there was also a little smugness in her words. In Sue Ellen's mind, her apologies were only necessary to save face; she had tried to warn Julie that bouncing her son so soon after eating was a recipe for disaster, but she had been ignored and Julie learned it all on her own. In a bitchy way, she was almost glad that it had happened to Julie, she wasn't the sweet woman she tried to pretend she was and she deserved some punishment for sleeping with a married man for years and not feeling at all bad about it. John Ross wasn't connected to that situation in any way, but Sue Ellen didn't care; she couldn't exactly slap Julie in front of everyone, especially not now that her relationship with JR was over, but that didn't mean she didn't want to. John Ross's actions, no matter how innocent, natural or disconnected to the past, caused Sue Ellen no sorrow; the way she saw it, Julie hadn't paid any price for her adulterous actions, so she deserved a little retribution and whether the punishment fit the crime was irrelevant.

Letting out a loud laugh, Jock interrupted Julie's dramatics and Sue Ellen's apologies; women always made a much bigger deal out of things than they really were and this was no exception. "Whoop, looks like you moved him too much; same thing happened to Bobby last week. It's ok, no real harm done, he'll be fine", turning his attention toward Sue Ellen and the now increasing cries of his grandson, he locked eyes with her and knew everything would be fine, she was far from incapable and despite the pained sounds coming from her son, she had it all under control. "JR's office is free if you need a little space", having an increased amount of respect for her since the birth of his first grandson, he had subconsciously begun to treat both she and JR more fairly and kindly and his tone of voice reflected those feelings. Julie may have been covered in spit up, but his primary concern was John Ross' wellbeing. Nodding, Sue Ellen walked into JR's office and JR followed closely behind her with his son's diaper bag; turning back to Julie, Jock finally acknowledged her discomfort, "you may go home and change or take the rest of the afternoon off if you'd like, whatever you choose. Diane is capable of fielding my calls for the rest of the afternoon if necessary", his words were honest and true, he liked Julie as a person and even though John Ross was his number one priority in the situation, he saw no reason to add to her hurt or humiliation. Nodding and quietly collecting her things, Julie thanked him and quickly left the office; she hadn't gotten anything she wanted today, but there was one thing she was now sure of, any small desire to have children, with JR or any other man, was now gone. Sue Ellen could have JR if it meant putting up with the hot, smelly, dirty, noisy little creature that they now called John Ross Ewing III; she wanted no part of it, not even in her fantasy life.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: The way Julie sees Sue Ellen's physical appearance is the way she appears to most people (except perhaps Patricia); it's her insecurity that is making her feel as if she's huge, not the actuality of her appearance. So of course, she's not exactly the same physique as she was pre-pregnancy, but she's absolutely not the unattractive woman she believes she is. I just wanted to make that clear in case it seemed like there were two completely different descriptions. Also, please note that I feel awful for referring to a baby (albeit imaginary) in such a mean way, it was necessary for the story though. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	278. Trying

**Dallas, Texas**

Increasingly cautious about how he approached his wife now, JR found himself completely torn between satisfying his sexual desire for her and wanting to respect her emotional wellbeing; he didn't understand her sometimes, especially when she sent him mixed signals like she was tonight. As part of the effort he was making to be a better husband and man, it had become part of their routine to spend time together as a couple, simply dating each other and being together because they liked doing it, not because they were socially expected to; this weekend was no different. They had driven out to the pond with John Ross and gone for a long walk around the ranch before dropping him back at the house for his nap and then heading over to Fort Worth for lunch. It was nice to walk around in an area where no one really knew or cared who they were and it was nice to get to share an experience together, even if it was just lunch and then a little window-shopping and coffee in the afternoon. Returning to Southfork in time for family cocktails and dinner, they had continued their evening as parents, enjoying a little time with John Ross in his nursery before laying him down for another nap and then retiring to their bedroom together. It was then that things started to get really heated; no longer simple romance, their actions had turned passionate and although they both knew it was still too soon for them to take things all the way, it appeared that they both wanted more than just a kiss. Whether Sue Ellen was in a place to allow him to love her like that was a different issue though, because even if her body wanted it, she still had thoughts and feelings that left her feeling conflicted.

Having almost forgotten Doctor Williams' words during their day activities, Sue Ellen now had them running through her mind at a million miles a minute. During their second appointment, Doctor Williams had gone a completely different route to the one he'd taken in their first appointment; first questioning her about her body image issues and then challenging her to at least try to be a little more open to intimacy with JR. He'd explained that every reason she was giving him as an excuse as to why she was afraid to share herself with JR came down to fear of the unknown and no amount of talking and discussing the possible outcomes could replace an honest attempt to change. Her fear of JR leaving or cheating on her because he was displeased with her body was countered and questioned by Doctor Williams as he repeated her own words back to her, reminding her of how JR had acted during her pregnancy and how he was still acting. JR's words and actions indicated his desire for her and at no point did it appear that he wished she would change for him or was dissatisfied with the way she looked; if Doctor Williams was to be believed, the only one that seemed genuinely afraid of JR being disappointed was Sue Ellen.

Swallowing her fear in an attempt to be bold and not allow her mind and actions to be controlled by the negativity, Sue Ellen opened her mouth a little more and began to unbutton his shirt, hinting to him that she was ok with the way things were heading right now. She wanted to be a good wife and she knew that he was probably frustrated and wound-up now, so even if she couldn't bring herself to allow him to fully appreciate her body, she was committed to at least offering him a condolence prize. Surprised, but thrilled by her actions, JR wasted no time in getting them horizontal and impassioned, though when her hand clasped his as he tried to slide her nightgown up, he knew he'd probably moved a little too quickly. "JR", speaking breathlessly, Sue Ellen looked him in the eye from her position beneath him, "please… I'm not saying no, I'm just saying slow…" leaning up and resuming their kiss, she hoped that he understood; she was enjoying the way things were, but she didn't want him to get so into their actions that he forgot about the emotional aspect of it, especially her emotional vulnerability.

'Slow, not no', with the words repeating in his mind, JR resumed his actions, this time in a more gentle and loving way; he wanted her, but he wanted her to be comfortable too. Ridding him of his shirt and working on his pants, Sue Ellen panicked for a moment as he equally participated in undressing her; he hadn't gained and attempted to lose thirty pounds over the past few months like she had and he still probably didn't quite comprehend exactly what that meant for the state of her body. As she felt her nightgown come up over her stomach and she heard no loud gasp or revolted sigh, only feeling her husband's hands and lips paying loving attention to her body, she began to relax; if he wasn't disgusted by the untoned mess that her stomach was now, then they were past the worst of her fears. Sliding her nightgown up even further, eventually allowing it to gather around her neck before she lifted her head to allow him to toss it onto the floor, Sue Ellen covered her face with her hands as she felt his eyes taking in her appearance. Kicking his remaining clothes off, JR then moved her hands away from her face, "stop darlin'"; he now understood why she was so self-conscious, she was still carrying a little extra weight from the pregnancy, however, the reality of her appearance wasn't nearly as bad as the mental images she had built up in both of their minds. She was easily the same weight she had been in her early months of pregnancy and only in comparison to her slender, toned pre-pregnancy body was she in any way 'fat', though fat really wasn't the word he would have used if asked to describe her physical appearance. The truth of the matter was that her body image issues were mostly mental and emotional, not physical and despite the fact that she truly believed he would be disgusted by her, he wasn't.

Allowing herself to relax and actually enjoy the attention he was giving her, Sue Ellen was almost disappointed when she remembered that even if she was feeling good, they had to stop at third base. She didn't want to risk physically hurting herself by doing something her doctor hadn't approved her to do just yet and as much as she loved John Ross, she didn't want to get pregnant again anytime soon. She and JR had never used any barrier method of contraception, so she doubted he could find anything of that sort in their bedroom and she wasn't on the pill yet, so a second pregnancy was a real risk if they did break the rules right now, and that was a risk she wasn't prepared to take. Of course, not being allowed to complete their actions in the most obvious was wasn't directly connected to anything else and with the amount of enjoyment they both appeared to be getting out of their current actions, she wasn't too worried about it.

To be continued…


	279. Accountability

**Dallas, Texas**

"Do you understand now why I tell you to push yourself?" raising an eyebrow and waiting for her to agree with him, Doctor Williams considered which issue they should tackle next. It wasn't as if her body image issues were completely fixed, not by a mile, but from what little she had told him of her intimate evening with her husband, he knew that there was hope; if she simply tried, instead of shying away from things that seemed uncomfortable or confronting, then she would get a lot further in life. A large part of her current issues were due to her relationship with her mother though and simply from listening to her life experiences that involved her mother, he knew that it was going to be a huge challenge for her to deal with some of those issues. Her mother seemed to have a very strong personality and he couldn't imagine her willingly coming in for a group session; perhaps if she were paid, but that set a precedent that he really didn't want to set. He wanted Sue Ellen and her mother to have a more honest, open and caring communication relationship, not one purely motivated by money or obligation like it was now. He wouldn't mind meeting with JR Ewing either, he seemed as if he had a number of issues both of his own and connected to Sue Ellen and would benefit greatly from professional help; he also wished to see for himself how he and Sue Ellen communicated, because from what Sue Ellen described, he was a complicated and confusing man. For now though, he wanted to help Sue Ellen become a stronger woman on her own before throwing her into a heated confrontation with her mother or husband.

"Yes, I suppose so", knowing that he was right, but still reluctant to completely admit it, Sue Ellen gave a short response. In pushing her to consider simply trying something without building up a huge fear of possible consequences, he had helped her tremendously. Knowing that in just two weeks she would be medically cleared to say yes to him, combined with her continued efforts to resume a physically active, healthy lifestyle, she no longer felt trapped by her fear of JR's rejection based on her physical appearance. Of course, her issues with her appearance hadn't simply disappeared and she wasn't sure they ever would, but she now understood that sometimes her worst fears weren't even close to reality and instead of sitting around worrying and thinking of the worst possible outcome of an event, she needed to just confront the issue head-on. The thought of confronting her mother about the way she'd treated her her entire life wasn't something she was sure she was ready for just yet though and after JR's little talk with her mother prior to John Ross' birth, things had actually calmed down between them, so unless her mother brought it up herself, she planned on staying silent.

"Good, good", giving her a friendly smile, he then posed another question to her, one she wasn't so confident or pleased about, "how about your scales? Did you move them and avoid seeking them out?" his challenge was meant to give her mind a break from stressing over the arbitrary numbers, but from the look on her face, he had a feeling that even if she hadn't weighed herself, it didn't mean she had stopped being caught up in the thoughts that went with those numbers. Blushing at her failure, Sue Ellen mumbled her answer, "well, not exactly. I had Teresa move them, but they aren't the only scales in the house…" She wasn't going to explain that the morning after having a nice, intimate evening with JR, still on a little high about the way he was so loving and accepting of her, she had wandered over to the guest room to see whether she had been imagining her weight as more than it was. It was embarrassing to admit her failure and curiosity and it was embarrassing to admit that in weighing herself again, she had confirmed that she was still about ten pounds over where she wanted to be. Despite the fact that she knew it wasn't a failure to be where she was and she wouldn't be that weight and look as 'big' she did forever, she still felt a little disappointed in seeing the numbers in front of her.

"Can you explain to me why you did that?" questioning her actions, Doctor Williams already had a fair idea of her answer, however, it was always preferable for the patient to have to consider their own thoughts behind their actions. Encouraging critical thought and analysis brought awareness and liability to actions instead of simply allowing them to brush past them and pretend that they were subconscious and therefore not their responsibility to change. "I had to know… I had to know whether JR was seeing something different to what I was and my issues were all in my mind or whether I had magically turned back into the woman he'd always known and that's why he was so pleased with me". Nodding, Doctor Williams pushed her to answer further, "and why did you need to know that? What difference would it make to you?" Thinking about his question, something inside her snapped, "I don't know! Why are you always asking me stupid questions that have no relevance to anything? What difference does it make why I wanted to know? It all leads back to the fact that I'm insecure about my body and don't believe that anyone could see me differently. Is that what you want to hear? I know all of that, so I'm not sure what good sitting here and discussing it is doing. I came to you to help me overcome my issues, not to constantly discuss and overanalyse things I already knew about myself", frustrated and almost a little angry that their appointment seemed to be going in circles, she found herself yelling the words at him and was once again surprised at how calm he kept himself. He had an amazing ability to not reciprocate her anger and instead just listen to what she was saying; annoyingly though, he also analysed her words, too much sometimes.

"It makes all the difference in the world. You have identified the reason and you understand that it is mostly about your own insecurity, not JR's criticism, however, you appear to use the knowledge of that insecurity as an excuse as to why you can't change things instead of seeing at as an opportunity to take control of your own life". Seeing the confusion on her face, he sighed as he realised that although she understood what he was saying in general, it still wasn't getting through to her that she really did have the ability to change her root feelings and she didn't have let them control her. "Your insecurity led you to believe that JR couldn't possibly be interested in you as you are, but rationally, you neglect to remember that your husband loved you at your heaviest while pregnant and that love for you only increased upon the birth of your son. You're doing a disservice to yourself by constantly putting yourself down and pushing the belief that to be loved, you must be 'perfect' when all evidence and logical thought points in the opposite direction. I want you to consider that and really try to remember it next time those thoughts come at you. You have some ability to control how you feel, as long as you make the effort to do so. You are not the number on the scale or the size on the clothing label and the sooner you allow yourself to believe that, the better". Feeling torn between vulnerability and annoyance, Sue Ellen looked at him directly, "and how do you suggest I do that? I've told you that the thoughts are overwhelming and uncontrollable; if I really had the ability to just switch them off, don't you think I would have done that already?" Deciding that her main feeling was annoyance, she found herself glaring at him; it was easy for him to sit in his office and tell her that she was in control of her life, but the fact that she was even there confirmed to her that she wasn't actually that powerful. Saying and doing were two completely different things and he didn't seem to understand that.

"Active thought", meeting her annoyed glare with a soft, friendly smile, he hoped that she would listen to what he was telling her, she was paying him for his help and she really would benefit from listening to him. "Instead of acknowledging your actions only when you are here in my office, I want you to acknowledge them as they happen. You've trained yourself to automatically think negatively, but it's not impossible to reverse those thoughts. What I want you to learn how to do is to stop the negative thoughts before they start, or at least before they begin to take over. If you can acknowledge that the worst possible scenario isn't the reality of the situation after the fact, then you can certainly doing it while it is happening. All you have to do is try. It won't be easy, I won't lie to you there, but it is possible; it's something you have to do for yourself though, no one else can control your thoughts. Your husband and family want you to feel better, but even with their positive encouragement, that change has to come from within you". Sighing loudly as he finished speaking, Sue Ellen knew that he was right; it wasn't enough for her to simply acknowledge her thoughts in their sessions, she needed to think that way all the time if she truly wanted to change. "I suppose you're right…" slightly embarrassed at her previous outburst, she looked down as she spoke, "do you have any helpful tips?" she was willing to listen and learn now, she really did want to feel better.

To be continued…


	280. Preparation

**Dallas, Texas**

Leaving the hospital after their six week check-up, Sue Ellen couldn't stop smiling; it was a huge relief to hear from a doctor that both she and her son were right on track with where they should be and that as long as she kept up with their routines, there was no reason that should change. It was a boost to her self-esteem to know that she was doing a good job as a mother; she had been so worried in the beginning that she was incapable of caring for her son and that he was rejecting her as his mother, but after a little learning and practice, she was now more competent and confident. She'd also received good news about her relationship with JR; as long as she was comfortable and they were careful, there was no reason why they couldn't resume their intimate relationship. Just as JR had wanted their honeymoon and anniversaries to be special and memorable, she had decided a few weeks ago that he deserved to have a special evening/day/weekend planned for him for this event. However, just as much as her plans for the upcoming weekend were about her love for him, they were also about her empathy for his situation; he was a man of needs and despite the fact that she'd been trying to satisfy those needs as best she could, after six weeks, he was probably ready to resume a fuller relationship. Knowing the way she and JR were when they resumed contact after a drought, she had a feeling that a little time away from Southfork was just what they needed; no one in that house needed to know just how much they loved each other and frankly, she didn't want anyone else knowing it. Driving back to Southfork, feeding John Ross and then putting him down for a nap, she explained to Miss Ellie what she would like to do for JR and without even having to ask, she had a babysitter in place. Miss Ellie was a wonderful mother-in-law and grandmother, she was kind and understanding and she knew exactly what to say in any situation. In a moment of self-doubt, Sue Ellen had wondered whether it was really right for she and JR to go away for the weekend when their son was still so young, but Miss Ellie reassured her that it was exactly what they needed and John Ross would be just fine at Southfork for the weekend. The Ewings were a family and John Ross was part of that family; he would be well cared for and loved.

Leaving John Ross in Miss Ellie's care for the next few hours, she then drove over to Fort Worth; she liked the anonymity that Fort Worth offered her, especially when she was planning on purchasing a few things that she'd really rather not be questioned about. It was completely natural for her to want to feel good about herself and purchase a few special outfits for the occasion, but if she could avoid bumping into any of the DOA ladies on her shopping trip, then life would be much easier.

**Fort Worth, Texas**

Leaving a travel agency with their flights and accommodation booked, Sue Ellen made her way over to the only lingerie store she knew of in Fort Worth, purchasing a few new nightgowns for their weekend away as well as a few things for later on in the year, when she really looked her best. After purchasing the items she wanted, for both she and JR's pleasure, she remembered the practical side of their actions and made her way over to a nearby drugstore. Never in her life had she ever had to consider contraception, she'd always been abstinent, trying to conceive or pregnant, there was no in-between. She would begin taking the pill tomorrow, but Doctor Krane had advised her that for at least the next few weeks, it was preferable for she and JR to use other means of protection to prevent pregnancy; whether that meant abstinence again or condoms was up to them, she was just advised to know her options. She'd also been advised that their physical connection may not be the same as it was pre-pregnancy and there was no shame in that, she simply needed to know how to solve those issues if they did arise. On her shopping list were two items; the first had been relatively easy for her to choose, each bottle described its use and benefits and she'd chosen the one with the longest list; it wasn't so much a medical decision as it was a consumerist one, she was easily influenced by marketing. Her impressionable mind was confused when it came to the men's section though; as easily as she had been able to use her female knowledge to work out which product was right for her, the use of different words that really meant nothing of any value simply confused her. She'd slept with a total of one man so even if she believed he was a 'large', she had no way of knowing, and what exactly were the pros and cons of 'thin', 'transparent', 'shaped', 'colored'? Overwhelmed by choice and her own nativity, she decided to leave it to JR to decide what he needed, because as much as she hated to think about it, he had years of experience choosing protection for himself and from the absence of illegitimate children in his life, he knew which ones worked best.

**Dallas, Texas**

Packing their bags on Friday afternoon, Sue Ellen excitedly waited for JR to come home. She had their flights booked for 7pm and Miss Ellie was more than happy to look after John Ross for the two days they would be away, all she needed now was for JR to come home so that she could surprise him with her news. She knew he probably wouldn't be extremely surprised that they could resume full intimacy again, he'd been waiting for this day for weeks, however, the fact that she had booked a weekend for them to enjoy themselves, away from Southfork and Dallas, would come as a complete surprise to him. Hearing his car park in the driveway, she excitedly ran downstairs and outside. Relieved to see that he appeared to be in a good mood himself, problems at Ewing Oil could make or break a weekend, she bounded toward him, unable to contain her excitement. Surprised but not upset by the amount of energy she was displaying, JR held her in place for a moment, giving her enough time to stop and think before speaking, "I have a surprise for you". Watching the grin on her face widen as she spoke, JR knew it had to be something exciting and when she kissed him with the passion that was usually contained to their bedroom, he had a fair idea of what the 'surprise' was. "I can't wait to find out", grinning back at her and then kissing her again, he then stopped what they were doing and took her hand, leading her into the house. She probably had special evening planned for them and he would respect those plans, but that didn't mean that they couldn't still enjoy themselves right now.

To be continued…


	281. Aspen

**Aspen, Colorado**

Arriving at their large, luxurious wood cabin just after eight thirty in the evening local time, Sue Ellen was in awe of just how beautiful everything was. They were paying a hefty fee for a private cabin high in the mountains, especially since she had booked so close to the date that they would be staying there, however, seeing both the beauty of the surrounding area and the architectural design of the large estate, she knew that it was worth every penny. It wasn't as if JR would complain about the cost anyway, he was worth millions and he was a generous man who enjoyed experiencing the life money could bring him. He saw money as a means to a full and enjoyable life and although he was smart in how he divided his fortune, in no way did that mean that he restricted the amount they had to 'play' with. Carrying their suitcases into the master bedroom, JR was surprised when the doorbell rang and Sue Ellen disappeared out of the room only to return a few minutes later to announce that dinner was ready for them. Spending a few moments freshening up, but not putting too much extra effort into looking formal since it was only the two of them, they then made their way downstairs to enjoy the food Sue Ellen had ordered to be delivered to them from a local restaurant.

Sitting across from each other at the dining table as they finished their late dinner, Sue Ellen admired how handsome her husband was and thought about how grateful she was that they were finally living their lives like a real, loving, passionate couple. No longer did she shy away from her strong feelings for him, now she felt as if she were allowed to and was welcome to show him just how she felt for him and even if that was mostly physical, she didn't see it as any less important than their verbal and emotional communication. "I want this weekend to be all about us. No talk about business or the family, just us and whatever we're doing", looking at him sincerely, Sue Ellen giggled when JR replied. "Don't worry darlin', I don't plan on wasting our precious time alone together by talking about any of that stuff, especially not when we could be doing something much more exciting", leaning forward, sliding their dishes toward the unused part of the table, he placed a light kiss on her lips. "Did you have a plan or shall we see where the evening takes us?" Shaking her head at the mention of a plan, Sue Ellen then motioned for him to lead the way; she had some berries and ice cream waiting for them in the kitchen, but as they were refrigerated, they didn't require immediate consumption and right now, she was hungry for her husband, not food.

Cuddled together on the cushioned outdoor sofa on the large balcony, looking out at the stars and the outlines of the surrounding mountains, visible only by the brightness of the moon, Sue Ellen basked in the romantic atmosphere that was already present on their mini-vacation. She always loved her husband, but their connection always felt much stronger when it was just the two of them, alone. Of course, being around John Ross, she felt a real familial connection and enjoyed the maternal and paternal love they each showed for their son, however, the love she felt for him in moments where they were a family was markedly different to the love she felt with him in romantic moments. Enjoying a drink, champagne to mark the celebratory occasion and the romantic theme for the weekend, they spoke quietly about everything and nothing; it was fun and relaxing, and completely removed from the stressors and annoyances that were present in Dallas. The occasional lulls in the conversation provided them the perfect opportunity to do what they couldn't at Southfork, kiss, touch and flirt shamelessly; there was no one around to interrupt them or turn up their noses at their affection and it felt wonderful to be able to do whatever they wanted. Knowing that he had waited six weeks and they would get there eventually, maybe even more than once this evening if he were lucky, JR knew that slow and steady was the best approach to their actions and although a rare feeling, he really was satisfied with that answer. It was fun and exciting to act so openly romantic with each other and the fact that he been without full intimacy for six weeks only built up that feeling; it was almost like when they were dating and then finally married, he'd known then not to push too hard and he knew it now too.

"Shall we take this inside?" sitting astride him, having finished their bottle of champagne and spent a good amount of time at second base, Sue Ellen felt ready; her confidence was slowly being rebuilt and she really, genuinely wanted this evening to happen and to go well, so taking the initiative, she suggested moving things along. Without words, JR stood and carried her back inside the house, stepping into the bedroom with her in his arms as if they were newlyweds again. "I love you", whispering the now common, but no less meaningful words to her, he gently laid her down and slowly began to work on removing her dress, not losing contact with her lips as he did so. "I love you too", much more confident now than she had been a few weeks ago or even a few days ago, Sue Ellen knew the nerves in her stomach were anticipation and eagerness rather than fear and even if it wasn't physically the same as it had been pre-pregnancy, she knew their emotions were still there.

Having taken it slow and steady, not rushing or pushing for anything that was too much too soon, JR awoke on Saturday morning a happy and satisfied man. As much as they now enjoyed a full range of activities in the bedroom, he realised that he had almost begun to take their old, more conservative sex-life for granted, but the previous evening had reminded him of how enjoyable the soft, sensuous intimacy that came from loving each other for a long, slow period of time was. As much as it had been a necessity to be gentle with her, it had also been their choice of approach to the evening. It was almost more about romance and intimate affection than it had been about the physical act and from the way Sue Ellen acted all evening and then responded to his actions in the bedroom, he knew that she appreciated that approach. Watching her sleep for a while before seeing her come out of her slumber, he grinned as he realised that they had the whole weekend to be alone together. He really did love his wife and with that love for her came a great enjoyment for being with her. As much as he loved his family, it was bliss to know that there would be no disruptions for at least the next two days. They were free to be loving, married couple, in the bedroom, in the house and if they chose to, out in public. He was still a little self-conscious about being so showy about their relationship in Dallas, he hated when people gossiped about his personal life with Sue Ellen, mostly because Dallas was full of nasty women and men who wanted what he had, but Aspen was different, no one knew or cared who they were and that suited him just fine. Being 'JR Ewing' was nice, but sometimes it was also nice to just be 'JR'. "Good morning", sleepily noticing him watching her, Sue Ellen mumbled her greeting and smiled; Doctor Williams had been right, the majority of her fears were in her mind and were not based on reality, JR had been nothing but kind, thoughtful, loving and gentle with her and she was incredibly grateful to have him as her husband. "Good morning", leaning down to kiss her, JR heard her sigh happily and he knew that everything between them was good, more than good in fact, everything was excellent and the only way their relationship could go now was up.

To be continued…


	282. Weekend Away

**Aspen, Colorado**

"Well, I won't say it's more beautiful than Texas, because nowhere will ever beat Texas, but it sure is pretty", walking along the Maroon Lake Scenic Trail, stopping every few minutes to take in the scenery, JR made a casual comment to his wife; he wasn't much of a rancher, but he could appreciate the beauty of land. His family didn't think that he really cared about Southfork or had any real Southworth blood in him, but he did; he just happened to be a little more Ewing than Southworth, really understanding and appreciating the land for its practical uses, especially oil-rich land. However, that didn't mean that he didn't understand other land uses, even passive use like just observing it for its beauty rather than cultivating it and gaining some benefit from it. His opinion was backed up by observing how his wife reacted to the scenery; the beauty of the landscape wowed her, especially now that it was summer and the plants were thriving and the sun was shining. Although she had planned their weekend getaway, he still felt responsible for making sure it was an enjoyable trip for both of them, however, judging the situation by the way things were going so far, he had a strong feeling that he had nothing to worry about. "It truly is", sighing with happiness at the pretty picture in front of her and the contented knowledge that their marriage was stronger now than ever, Sue Ellen kept her comments short, there really wasn't much else that needed saying.

**Dallas, Texas**

"Grandma?" entering the nursery and having to raise her voice to make sure she was noticed, Lucy knew that her decision was the right one. "Yes Lucy?" holding John Ross to her chest and gently bouncing her own weight between each of her feet in an attempt to calm him, Miss Ellie turned to her granddaughter and waited for her to speak. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm going down to the stables… it's too noisy to do anything here", muttering the second half of her sentence but knowing that her grandmother had still heard her, she waited for her to nod and remind her to be back in time for dinner before she left the room. Her new little cousin was visually adorable, but the sounds and smells he produced were less adorable; he had been crying for what seemed like hours and although she had been trying to practice tolerance, he was only a baby after all, it was all too much for her to deal with now. Knowing that it was better for everyone if she simply left the house for a while instead of getting bratty and lashing out at her grandmother or cousin, she changed into her riding clothes and then headed down to the stables.

Sighing as she looked out the window and caught sight of her granddaughter walking away from the house, Miss Ellie empathised with her position. In hindsight, the way she had treated JR when Gary was born was not at all the correct way to approach things and even if it was difficult, she really didn't want to repeat the same mistakes with Lucy and John Ross. She would make time for Lucy, eventually; she didn't like the idea of having the baby nurse solely raising her grandson though, especially not when she was available to look after him, so her time with Lucy would have to wait until JR and Sue Ellen were back at Southfork. She had encouraged Sue Ellen to take the weekend to re-bond with JR and she knew that everything would be ok in the end, however, right now, she did wonder whether perhaps John Ross would have benefitted from being in his mother's arms. She couldn't blame Sue Ellen or JR for being away though, Sue Ellen was a wonderful, dedicated mother and when he wasn't at work, JR was a wonderful father; they deserved to have a little time to themselves every once in a while. Brought out of her thoughts by the increasingly shrill and pained sounds of her youngest grandchild, she turned her attention back to soothing him. The baby nurse assured her that he was medically fine, he was either just overtired and overstimulated or he was in the middle of a growth spurt and it was changing the way his natural schedule and habits occurred; either way, giving him her love and attention was just what he needed right now.

**Aspen, Colorado**

"JR?" sitting in a small café in the main town, enjoying their afternoon coffee, Sue Ellen's eyes focused on a family sitting over the other side of the room; "yes darlin'?" oddly relaxed despite the foreign location and lack thoughts involving Ewing Oil, JR turned his attention to his wife. "Promise me that we'll be a real family…" seeing the confusion on his face, she realised that he hadn't been looking at the same thing she was and had no idea why she was bringing up their family now. "I just mean, promise me that we'll really spend time with John Ross as a family. I want him to have good memories of his childhood; trips to the park, the zoo, the aquarium, riding horses on Southfork, spending time with us together and alone, seeing us sitting in the bleachers at his baseball or football games, maybe even a real family summer vacation; all the things we missed out on". She knew they were on the right track as a married couple and as parents, she just wanted to reiterate their goals and keep them focused, and discussing it openly and regularly instead of waiting for things to deteriorate before they addressed them seemed like a good way to do that. Miss Ellie had assured her that although she had questioned whether she should leave John Ross for the weekend to spend time with JR, it was necessary for the health and strength of their marriage and John Ross would only be better off in the long run. To make sure that that really did happen though, she knew they had to be on the same page as parents too and she needed reassurance of that from JR right now.

"Of course darlin'", reaching out, he took hold of her hand, "we are not our parents; I want this, you want this and together, we will make it happen. We're a family, a real family and I promise, I won't allow anything to get in the way of that. I know we didn't have the strongest relationship in the past, but I am trying and not to toot my own horn too much, but I do think I'm… we're succeeding. I love you, I love our son and I love that we're finally a real family", gently rubbing her hand with his thumb as he spoke, he was a little surprised when he saw tears in her eyes, though knowing his wife's tendency to get emotional, he knew he shouldn't have been too surprised. "Thank you JR. That's all I wanted. I love you and I love our family", giving him a teary but very happy smile, she spoke again, "let's go back to the house…" she didn't want to cry in public, but mostly, she just wanted to spend as much time alone with her husband as they had. "Good idea", standing and taking hold of her other hand, he guided them out of the café.

To be continued…


	283. Fussy

**Aspen, Colorado**

Having spent the majority of the morning in bed, gone into town for lunch and then returned to the cabin for an afternoon of uninterrupted couple time, Sue Ellen was extremely content with the way her life was as she and JR boarded their evening flight. Things were excellent between her and JR and although in the past she had been saddened by the idea of leaving their honeymoon state to return to the reality of their life in Dallas, this time, she wasn't upset. She had loved the time she and JR had spent together, but in the back of her mind, she was also counting down the hours until she was able to see John Ross again. She loved her husband, she loved her son, she loved being a wife and a mother, and she was excited to get back into that routine again. Watching her look out the window as the plane took off, JR smiled smugly and contentedly to himself, he was one lucky man and his past self was one huge idiot for not realising it sooner. Sue Ellen was the perfect mother to their son and the perfect wife for him, she truly aimed to please and with the willpower Patricia had instilled in her, when she aimed to do something, she usually achieved it. He'd originally been sceptical about her seeing Doctor Williams to discuss her issues, but he was a convert now, she really was trying to not only be a good wife and mother, but be a better person for herself too and that pleased him. He wanted to see her happy and he'd tried to help her in whatever way he could, but at some point, his efforts weren't enough and professional help was needed. Whatever the doctor was doing in those appointments appeared to be working and as long as he wasn't pushed into attending with her, he was one hundred percent supportive.

In his subconscious, he knew that he would probably benefit from seeing someone about his confusing, unfair and somewhat traumatic childhood and the way that it had affected who he was as a person. However, a stronger belief in his mind was one his father had repeated throughout his lifetime; he was a Ewing man and Ewing men were strong men, not weak. Gary had been emotional and weak and his father had hated that, no way was he going to start showing that side of himself any more than he already did, which unless he was with his wife and occasionally his mother when he showed concern for his wife, wasn't very often. His father supported him being a better communicator, a better husband and a better father, but he couldn't imagine him honestly supporting or encouraging him to really get in touch with his emotional side and as much as he wanted to separate himself from his father, he really did care what he thought of him. Seeing Sue Ellen happy and productive was enough for him to ignore his father's opinion in some respects though, because even if it was by the advice of a stranger and he didn't necessarily trust the psychobabble he was probably peddling to his wife, he couldn't deny that therapy was working wonders for her. If only for the positive results he had observed as an outcome from her time with Doctor Williams, he would always support personal choice when it came to attending those sessions; it wasn't something he would do, but he wasn't going to stop or discourage her from seeking help.

**Dallas, Texas**

Running up the stairs as she heard the distressed sounds coming from the nursery, Sue Ellen immediately felt guilty for leaving her son for two days. She had no idea whether he had been crying for five minutes or five hours, but even the thought of him crying for five minutes while she was away doing something enjoyable was enough to make her feel immensely guilt-ridden. "Shhh, little John, you're ok baby", rubbing his back and whispering to him, Miss Ellie stood in the nursery as she attempted to calm her fussy grandson. He had eaten, been burped, had his diaper changed, been rocked, swaddled and laid down, picked up and held by she, Lucy and the baby nurse, and now, she was attempting to rub his back to relax him, but from his shallow breathing and shrill cries, it wasn't doing much good. Noticing Sue Ellen standing in the doorway, looking heartbroken, lost and probably blaming herself for his distress, Miss Ellie silently walked over and handed her grandson to his mother, "he's just in the middle of a growth spurt. It's completely normal for him to be unsettled", she was trying to reassure her that she wasn't a terrible mother, but from the look on Sue Ellen's face, she wasn't sure she'd succeeded. "My poor baby", with all the love she felt for him, Sue Ellen held him to her and cuddled him, hoping that even just her maternal presence would calm him a little; however, when his distress still didn't appear to lessen after a few minutes, she began to worry. "Should we call Doctor Danvers?" she didn't know what was wrong with him or what to do about it, but she knew that she would never get over the guilt if something really was wrong with him and she hadn't taken the necessary steps to fix it. "I don't think it's necessary, his behaviour isn't unusual, all babies go through fussy periods, I would know, I've raised four of them. However, if you would like me to call Doctor Danvers, I will". Not feeling it completely necessary, his temperature and behaviour really were quite normal for a baby, they were ever-changing, not just physically, but emotionally too, Miss Ellie decided that if Sue Ellen needed to hear it from a doctor to feel better, then she would assist her in doing that. She understood what it was like to be a first-time mother and she would do whatever she could do to help Sue Ellen to feel comfortable in her position as a mother; having confident and happy parents would only benefit John Ross and she really wanted him to have a good life.

Following his wife up the stairs, at a quick pace, but not quite as fast as she managed, even in heels, JR entered the nursery just in time to hear his mother explaining that she didn't feel a doctor was necessary right now, but if Sue Ellen wanted one, then she would call. Making the decision for her, he spoke, "call him. I don't care what it costs or what he's doing, I want him here within the next half hour", not prepared to take any chances with his son's health or his wife's emotional state, he knew that getting the doctor to Southfork was the best thing right now. Even if his mother was right and John Ross was behaving completely normally for whatever biological changes were happening within his body right now, he knew Sue Ellen needed to hear it from the doctor himself and secretly, so did he. He put on a brave face and acted tough, but underneath the façade was a softer, more vulnerable part of him, a part of him that worried almost as much as Sue Ellen when it came to their son's wellbeing. He knew he would never forgive himself if something really was wrong and he had ignored the signs, so instead of doing so, he asserted his power and directed his mother to call the doctor.

To be continued…


	284. Guilt

**Dallas, Texas**

"You seem distracted today. Is there something you would rather talk about?" observing her oddly distant demeanour and noticing her running a finger around the rim of her glass of water, Doctor Williams knew there was much more on her mind than her relationship with her husband. "I'm sorry", apologising for her short answers and inattentiveness to their conversation, Sue Ellen hoped that he wasn't angry with her, she really should have been paying attention and hated to be seen as rude. "It's ok, I'm not upset. I would like you to let me in on your current thoughts though, because they're clearly worrying you", noticing the way she reacted to his question, he knew he had to reassure her that he wasn't upset with her, just concerned. She put too much pressure on herself to appear proper and perfect all the time, but she didn't need to and although he couldn't be there in her everyday life to remind her of that, he could at least do it in their sessions. Sighing sadly and regretfully, Sue Ellen spoke, "it's my son", looking down at her glass of water as she thought about her vulnerable, delicate little boy, she held back tears. John Ross was so tiny and dependent and in hindsight, it pained her to know that she had left at home to go away for a romantic weekend with her husband and now again had left at home to attend a therapy appointment. She so desperately wanted to be a good mother but even with everyone telling her that she was and in good times, feeling that she was, she still questioned whether she really, truly was. Would a good mother really leave her six-week-old son for two days so that she and his father could spend a little time alone together in peace? It sounded so selfish when she repeated it back to herself, even if it had felt like the right thing to do at the time. Coming home from Aspen, she and JR had been happy and excited to live their lives again, but hearing the distressed sounds of her son had brought reality to their actions and she felt like a terrible mother for doing such a thing. In the three days they had been home, she had made a point of sticking by his side for as much of that time as she could, only sleeping when he slept at night and only leaving him alone with the baby nurse for a couple of hours while she attended the obligatory family meals. She'd intended on easing herself back into her charity work this week and DOA meetings in the next few weeks, but right now, outside obligations were the last thing on her mind. First and foremost, she was John Ross' mother and she wanted to make sure that she was a good mother to him before adding anything else to her plate.

Doctor Danvers had assured she and JR that his fussiness and apparent distress was normal for an infant his age, something about six week regression, growth spurts and his mental development now making him more aware of the world around him, opening the door to him being overwhelmed by the sights and sounds present. Despite hearing from a trusted doctor that her son was fine, developing quite healthily and all they could do was try their best to make sure his needs were met and use trial and error to find out which sounds, visuals, actions, movements etc. calmed him, she still felt guilty. It was irrational to believe that her leaving for two days had somehow caused him to react more severely to the changes he was going through, but in moments of self-blame, she didn't think particularly rationally. Sighing to herself, she began to verbalise her thoughts and feelings; Doctor Williams had proven helpful in the past and she was warming up to trusting his perspective and opinions. Even if he couldn't absolve her of her guilt, only she had the power to do that, he could at least provide her with a few encouraging comments and possibly some helpful tips on how to deal with her overwhelmingly negative feelings about herself. She wanted to be a good mother and she honestly believed that she was a good mother most of the time, but when things happened that in hindsight seemed like a bad idea, she began to question whether she really was a good mother; a good mother wouldn't willingly have left her child as easily as she had, would she?

"…and if I overlooked his needs in favour of my own, then am I really any better than my own mother?" almost in tears as she spoke, Sue Ellen verbalised her self-doubt and self-blame, causing Doctor Williams to sigh as he handed her the box of tissues and attempted to break her spiralling thoughts. Giving her a few moments to collect herself after his first few soothing comments, he then tried a more stern approach, "stop"; the harshness in his voice was enough to pause her sobbing for a moment and cause her to look up at him. "You are not your mother, you cannot change the past and you must stop thinking in a way that allows for constant comparisons", giving her a look as if challenging her to challenge him, he paused for a moment before speaking again. "You didn't ignore or neglect your son's needs, you didn't even know and by all accounts, he is behaving perfectly normal for a child of his age, so you need to relax and allow yourself to see it for what it is, not what you imagine it to be. There is a fine line between being a dedicated parent and being an obsessive parent and although I cannot definitively tell you where that line is, as time progresses, you will learn what this means for you and your family. You must remember though that it is neither practical nor wise to dedicate one hundred percent of your time to your son and you also deserve to be able to do things for yourself. I'm not saying that you should be selfish, but John Ross is not the only person the world and you are allowed to do things for yourself every once in a while; it's not a crime and putting yourself down as if it is does nobody any good. As for your mother, I want you to practice active thought with that too; not everything that happens to you can be related back to something your mother did or does and you do not have to let her control your thoughts and feelings. She had her own challenges as a parent, but those challenges are not yours to analyse, not unless you are both here and actively working to overcome the consequences of those things. I want you to stop thinking of yourself and your actions in terms of you mother and start thinking about them as they actually are. You organized for your son to be in the care of family, you left him after an appointment where he was given a clean bill of health and from which he was acting like his regular self; you were gone for a maximum of thirty hours and when you returned, you then spent the next few days by his side. You are not a terrible mother and his fussiness is not your fault; you didn't know and if you had known, you would have done things differently, but that is not something to feel guilty or blame yourself for now". Looking at her again, he softened his expression, "please, take a minute to consider the facts and stop laying blame where none lies". His patient had a lot of deep-seated self-esteem issues and he was beginning to wonder how much he could really do for her. On a conscious level, she knew and understood that she couldn't change the past and wasn't responsible for anyone's actions but her own and even then, some things just happened, there was no blame to lay, however, on an emotional level, that didn't seem to compute.

"But…" unable to voice her thoughts articulately Sue Ellen paused. It made sense, she did need to stop thinking of her ability to be a mother in comparison to her own mother's ability, because they weren't the same and it made little sense to always relate everything back to her own mother. She also knew that it wasn't her fault that John Ross was naturally developing and reacted to those changes in a distressed manner, but knowing and feeling were two different things and she didn't know how to voice her inner feelings or change the way they occurred to her. There was an immense amount of guilt inside her for things she knew she didn't need to feel guilty about, but even by actively telling herself that she hadn't consciously left her distressed son at home to go have fun and despite her unaware actions, she hadn't permanently damaged him, she still felt guilty. "I just want him to be happy and healthy and it makes me feel awful to know that perhaps I could have saved him from some of his distress if I had been here. It pains me to see him suffer and it pains me to think about my own actions contributing to his suffering", knowing that he was going to tell her that there was no way to know what 'could have been', she wasn't surprised when he spoke. "Mhm, yes, theoretically, your maternal presence _could_ have saved him from some distress, however, there is no way of knowing and if the biology of his natural development is in any way responsible for his behaviour, which I think we can safely assume is the case, whether you were there or not is not a major issue. As I said earlier, you cannot change the past; you can reflect and take into account past occurrences when making present and future decisions, but you cannot change what has already happened. You were not responsible for your son's distress and you cannot take responsibility or change it now. All you can do is move on and try to be a good mother, which you appear to be doing. Quality over quantity; John Ross needs a happy, confident mother in his life and you can be that mother, the minimal hours you spend away from him are less meaningful in the long-term as long as you make the hours you are with him really count. Be happy with yourself, be happy with your situation and try to live in the now, not the past or the future and you'll find yourself becoming the mother you want to be; it's all about your attitude and the quality of your actions. You love your son and other than meeting his basic physiological and safety needs, love is what he really needs right now". Looking at her sincerely as he spoke, he hoped that she really listened to and understood what he was saying, because he didn't know how many more different variations of the same thing he could say to her before he ran out of words or her maternal abilities and instincts started to regress. She had the power to be different, more confident and feel less guilty; she just needed to believe it.

Feeling the tears flowing again, Sue Ellen nodded, she could try, but she didn't know how successful she would be. She felt trapped in her negative thought-space and even with all the encouragement in the world, she knew it was up to her to change her life; she really lacked the self-confidence to believe she was really capable though and that worried her. "I'll try", mumbling the words, she then felt the tears begin to flow more steadily; she really would try, but still, the fear of failing and ending up in a place where her son thought of her as she thought of her mother, that frightened her, more than anyone knew. As Doctor Williams had said though, she couldn't change the past and worrying about the future so much that it removed her from living in the present wasn't doing anyone any good, so the first action she needed to take was to control her thoughts, at least as much as she could, and she was determined to do that.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: The stuff about John Ross' needs is a very basic version of Maslow's hierarchy of needs; it's an interesting theory and seemed to relate here, so I borrowed a few of his ideas, full credit for the theory goes to psychologist Abraham Maslow though :)**


	285. Exhaustion

**Dallas, Texas**

Looking around their bedroom as he arrived home from work, but not finding his wife, JR then listened for sounds of life within the house and upon hearing nothing other than the faint sound of Lucy humming to herself as she readied herself for dinner, he then left his bedroom and walked down the hall to the nursery. Smiling smugly as he opened the door and had his suspicions confirmed, but also smiling warmly at the pretty, happy picture in front of him, he knew he had to document it. Leaving the nursery for a moment, he made his way back to their bedroom, grabbed the camera and then re-entered the nursery, snapping a photograph for memories before quietly and gently removing his sleeping son from his sleeping wife's arms and placing him into his crib. As much as he wanted to leave them sleeping in their position in the rocking chair, he knew it wasn't practical nor safe for him to do so and he wasn't about to take any chances. Stirring a little as he was picked up and laid down in his crib, John Ross appeared to be too exhausted to put up too much of a fight and after a few wriggling moments, he settled again. "We must've fallen asleep", turning as his wife spoke, JR nodded and smiled, she looked exhausted but also thrilled; John Ross hadn't been settling well all week and it had been affecting the way Sue Ellen judged herself, so to have had success with soothing him all on her own and to see him settled now was a beautiful moment. Walking out of the nursery and back down the hall to their bedroom together, JR spoke, "you must be exhausted darlin', why don't you take a nap? I'll explain to the family why you aren't at dinner, they'll understand". Wanting and trying to be a more kind and considerate husband, he made a suggestion and although it did briefly flash though her mind to question whether he was hiding something from her and was trying to briefly get rid of her, she couldn't deny that he was right, she was exhausted and a nap sounded wonderful right now. Nodding and thanking him, she changed out of her clothes and into her nightgown; even if John Ross only slept for another hour, it was still an hour of rest that would be beneficial, for both of them.

Awaking and looking at the clock, Sue Ellen sat up in shock as the numbers registered in her mind. 3.03am, she hadn't intended on sleeping for ten hours, she didn't even usually sleep ten hours on a normal night, but having had only broken sleep for the past few days in an attempt to be by her son's side when he needed her, her tiredness had obviously caught up to her. Getting out of bed, she put her robe on and walked down the hall to the nursery; she knew that she wasn't John Ross' only caregiver and the baby nurse was paid to be on duty all night, but she had to check that he was ok for herself. "Mrs Ewing", smiling warmly, Mrs Smith, the baby nurse, greeted her in a quiet, but friendly tone, "he's just gone back to sleep", moving around the room as she tidied, collecting empty bottles, tossing his dirty clothes in the laundry hamper and restocking the diaper change area, she explained a little of John Ross' evening to his mother. Splitting her attention between listening to every word coming out of Mrs Smith's mouth and watching her son sleep, Sue Ellen considered how lucky she was to have the help she did. She didn't know how other women did it, she had only been acting as a 24/7 mother for four days and already it was taking a toll on her. Luckily for she and John Ross though, her exhaustion wasn't something she had to persevere through, if at any point it became too much for her, she could go to sleep for the night and wake up refreshed and ready to be a good mother to him and that truly was a blessing. Gathering that it would probably be a few hours before he awoke and knowing that it was pointless for her to be awake in the middle of the night when he was asleep, Sue Ellen said goodnight to Mrs Smith and John Ross for now and made her way back down the hall to rest for a few more hours.

Awaking in the morning and seeing his wife asleep next to him, JR was relieved. He hoped that her uninterrupted sleep would bring her back to a stable state of mind; they paid a baby nurse to look after John Ross at night so that they could sleep, and she wasn't a failure as a mother if she took advantage of that service. He liked having his wife alert and awake when he came home from work, partially for his own good but also for hers; he'd known her for five years now and in those five years he'd come to learn that she really was a more pleasant person when she was well-rested. Exhaustion led her to be more easily shaken and frustrated and made her less likely to enjoy the little moments and be the mother she wanted to be, so he supported and encouraged her to put the quality of the time she spent with John Ross at a higher priority than the quantity of time. He also encouraged her to step back and allow the baby nurse to look after John Ross during the night for the health of their marriage. Of course he loved talking to her, but he also very much enjoyed being intimate with her in a physical sense and if she was awake all day and night, then by the time they did meet in the bedroom, she was in no mood for anything of that nature. He couldn't help that he was a man of needs and although he was smart enough to know now that the appeal of other women was not worth sacrificing his marriage for, there was still only so much waiting a man could do before his eyes, mind and eventually, body started to wander. Putting it in perspective, he knew that their exciting Sunday in bed, just four days earlier, was enough to sate him for a while, however, he wanted to get Sue Ellen back on their pre-Aspen schedule as soon as possible. She was medically cleared to be with him, they enjoyed being together and he wanted to open up as many opportunities for that to happen as possible. Watching her sleep for a moment and then looking at the clock, he grinned to himself. If his calculations were correct, she'd had ten hours sleep between the time he left her the previous evening and when he felt her slip out of bed at some point during the night, plus the remaining hours since then, she was definitely very well rested now, no matter how exhausted she had been the previous evening. Getting up to use the bathroom and then slipping back into bed quietly, he then gently brushed the hair out of her eyes, as a sweet gesture but also as a gentle physical prompt to wake her, and as if on cue, she turned and opened her eyes a little, smiling sleepily at him as he continued his gentle gesture. Grinning as she awoke, he mentally patted himself on the back for knowing how to get her to see him waking her up early as a good thing rather than a negative; she was predictable in all the best ways and he knew they would have a wonderful morning together.

To be continued…


	286. Victory

**Dallas, Texas**

'I cannot control anyone but myself and most things are not as serious as I imagine them to be', repeating the words in her mind as she walked up and down the long, tree-lined driveway with John Ross in her arms, she tried to remain positive about the current situation. It appeared that the combination of the motion of walking and something about being outside was what he wanted right now and although she wasn't particularly enthused about walking around in the hot, dry Texan summer for long periods of time, if it was what was going to prevent him screaming the house down then she would do it. According to Doctor Danvers, John Ross Ewing III was a healthy little boy and his parents and caregivers were doing everything they should be to nurture him, he just happened to be specific in his instinctual likes and dislikes and unless those preferences were met, he wasn't completely satisfied. Being an infant though, it was very difficult for anyone to truly know exactly what he wanted or what was bothering him, so knowing how to soothe him at a particular point in time was really more about trial and error rather than anything else and by that method, she had now worked out that he enjoyed being carried. She enjoyed carrying him, she enjoyed spending time alone with him and she was enjoying the occasional gurgles and sounds he made, some even sounding as if he were giggling, though she couldn't be sure; the only thing that was truly annoying her about the situation was the heat. Naturally, John Ross was quite a hot baby, so having to hold him to her, combined with the fact that it was 100°F outside meant that she was on the verge of overheating and she couldn't understand why he appeared to enjoy it so much; even in his light cotton outfit, he had to be boiling. It was calming him though, that she couldn't deny, so even if it wasn't an activity she would have chosen, she kept walking, up and down, up and down. Southfork ranch was huge, but most of the land lacked significant tree shade coverage, so the driveway, although a little monotonous, was her only choice if she didn't want to keel over from heat exhaustion. After almost an hour of walking, she sighed with relief as she noticed his eyes beginning to droop and with an extra burst of motivation about their current activity, she found herself walking more enthusiastically than she had been; eventually seeing his eyes close, she then made her way up to the house and laid him down in his crib. He would probably wake again within the next hour because he was hungry or his diaper was full, but she wasn't thinking about that as she quietly closed the door of the nursery; she had successfully soothed her son by herself and that was a victory, even if only a small, temporary one.

Across town, JR sat at his desk and sighed to himself as he read the reports from his connections in Washington; things were not good for the US as a whole right now and no matter how good his personal life was, he found his mood slipping. Ewing Oil was safe, for now, but to have the national oil industry crumbling around them didn't bode well for John Ross' future legacy or even the more present legacy his own father was planning to pass down to him. He couldn't bear to think about the possibility that things would take a turn for the worse before he was named president of Ewing Oil; he had worked for that his entire life and now it was within reach, so to have it all taken away from him now would play out like a sick joke. His father had committed to giving him 51% upon his retirement and had been hinting more often since John Ross' birth and since he cleaned up his behaviour that that day wouldn't be too far off and even if it meant inheriting a company in the middle of industrial difficulties, he desperately wanted to have that commitment fulfilled. He deserved it, he wanted it and he was going to have it, he just had to make sure that there was still a company to inherit when his father did eventually retire. He was JR Ewing and he would do it; even if his actions only benefitted Ewing Oil, that was still success and if being single-minded toward that particular goal instead of trying to prop up a failing industry meant that he would be seen as a successful and powerful oilman, then he would do that. He had always planned on making Ewing Oil the largest independent oil company in Texas and for a moment, he wasn't sure that that would happen now, but thinking about it a little more, he knew that he was capable, as long as he was smart. If a lot of other companies were failing because of the economic and political climate, but he thought and worked smartly, then he could reach that goal a lot quicker than originally planned. Small companies going bust meant larger companies were free to purchase their assets and that could only mean good things for Ewing Oil. Yes, the industry was in trouble, but he was JR Ewing, he could do anything he set his mind to.

Making her way downstairs for lunch with Miss Ellie and Lucy, Sue Ellen found herself in a good mood; although being a mother was mentally, physically and emotionally hard work, amongst all the challenges and frustrations were the amazing, rewarding moments and personal victories and she really did love it. She still felt as if it were a blessing for her to actually be in the position she was in, where she had the resources available to her to allow her to truly enjoy the experience of being a mother without the stresses of worrying about everyday issues. She enjoyed being in a privileged position financially and socially where she didn't have to worry about her husband's salary being enough to support their family or whether she would be able to get all the chores done before the baby awoke. That didn't mean she didn't worry or have her own challenges, she certainly did and her life definitely wasn't perfect, but she was truly thankful for the way things were working out and she was sure that if she continued to work on her own personal issues, then things could only get better for she and everyone around her. Sitting inside for lunch at her request, she couldn't bear to be outside in the heat again, not after her morning with John Ross, she found herself looking between Lucy and Miss Ellie as they ate and talked amongst themselves; despite all the hardship and conflict, she really had ended up in a pretty good life position. "Miss Sue Ellen?" hearing the phone ring in the background, but not thinking much of it, she was surprised when Teresa spoke her name; standing, she walked over to the phone and answered, her good mood deflating as soon as the person on the other end began to speak. Listening to her mother making comments about missing her first grandson and wanting to be a part of his life and politely answering her questions about how she was doing, she had no choice but to say yes when her mother hinted at wanting an invitation to visit Southfork for the weekend. It may have come in the form of grandmotherly longing, but Sue Ellen knew it was more than that; her mother liked pretending she was a wealthy woman for a few days and by contacting Sue Ellen, she could make that wish a reality, at least for a little while. Her mother was good at manipulating though and despite the fact that Sue Ellen knew she had a hidden agenda, nothing she verbally said actually indicated that, so she had no real excuse to say no. She could hardly stop her own mother from visiting her first grandson, especially when she had asked so politely and tactfully, so reluctantly, she agreed. Sighing to herself as she hung up she knew she would have to sort out her mental and emotional issues much faster now than originally anticipated; she could not show her vulnerability to her mother, she would eat her alive if she did. She needed and wanted to be strong and happy, not weak and sad; it was what John Ross needed his mother to be and she truly wanted to be that woman, so even if it meant more frequent sessions with Doctor Williams and being mentally tougher on herself until something changed, she would do it.

To be continued…


	287. Coming Home

**New Orleans, Louisiana**

"…it's a better salary and benefits, next to no travel and I will be the boss, meaning that I'll be able to set my own hours; in earlier, home earlier, more time for us together as a family", smiling as if trying to convince her, Roger Hensley paused for a moment before explaining the catch. "The only potential negative is that the job is in Arlington, though that really depends on how you look at the situation", looking at his wife he held his breath and waited for her to react. He knew her well, she loved and missed Texas, so he hoped that she would be pleased by his announcement, however, he wasn't sure it would be that simple. After graduating college and just months before the birth of their son James, he had accepted a job in New Orleans, far away from the life he and Paula knew and were comfortable with. For him, the adjustment hadn't been too difficult, he'd been occupied with work for the most part and then coming home to his wife and son, he hadn't had much time to really miss or even think about missing home; Paula's life had been a little different though. She'd never directly complained about their life in New Orleans, she loved him and she wanted to be a family, but he knew she'd had a hard time adjusting to the loneliness and newness of life in totally foreign state, especially life with a new baby and no prior friends or acquaintances. Added to her difficult adjustment was the fact that just months prior to moving, she'd been a popular, outgoing sorority girl and if she hadn't accidentally gotten pregnant, she probably wouldn't have even thought about marriage or children, at least not for a few years. She'd never been the kind of girl who longed for quiet domesticity, so being thrown into that life was difficult for her to adapt to. She had adapted though and her friendly, outgoing personality was an asset to her, allowing her to make friends with the wives of Roger's co-workers, the mothers of James' friends and various women in their neighbourhood. It wasn't anywhere near the same as college, but after graduation, nothing really was, for anyone, so that wasn't a surprise; it was enough to keep her sane and relatively happy though and over the past few months, she had really appeared to be getting used to and actually enjoying life in New Orleans. The change in her attitude and behaviour hadn't gone unnoticed by Roger and although she was an adaptable woman and he knew that ultimately she would always think of Texas as home, he wasn't so sure she would really be enthusiastic about moving again, even if it was back to Texas, the one place she really wanted to be. Realistically, although Arlington was a stone's throw away from Richardson, their childhood hometown, they had been gone for four years and things were bound to be different, hardly any of their high school friends lived there anymore and even the ones that did had their own lives and friends. He was simply concerned that if they did move back and things didn't turn out as amazingly as his wife expected, then she would be back to square one again; perhaps staying in New Orleans where they had built a life for themselves was the right decision.

"Arlington?" repeating the word aloud as she tried to make sense of her husband's comment, Paula looked at him, "why on earth would moving to Arlington be a negative thing?" Breaking out in a smile as she considered it, she hoped that he only had a silly answer, because she couldn't think of one reason why moving back to Texas would be a bad thing; she tolerated and made the most out of New Orleans, but in no way, shape or form was she really attached to their life there. "I just…" shaking his head as he saw the joy on her face, he didn't even bother explaining; she was happy and even if his concerns were valid, it was worth a try, she was obviously thrilled by the idea, "nothing, don't worry about it". Pausing, he looked at her again and relaxed as he realised that this was probably a good thing, "we're going home", grinning at her, he leaned forward and kissed her and as soon as their lips met, he knew they were making the right decision, she was truly happy and he loved being the one that made her that happy.

**Dallas, Texas**

Pulling into the driveway, Sue Ellen was relieved when she spotted JR and Jock getting out of their own cars; she wouldn't be late for dinner after all. "Sue Ellen's home late", making an observation, Jock judged the situation and indirectly fished for an answer; he didn't object to Ewing wives having their own lives, but Sue Ellen was a new mother, she ought to be at home with her baby at this time of night. "A little later than usual, yes, but don't worry, we'll be ready in time for dinner", brushing off his father's comment with a short answer, JR walked toward her car and opened the door for her. Upon hearing on Friday afternoon that her mother was coming to Dallas next weekend, Sue Ellen had scrambled to make an extra appointment with Doctor Williams, and although not ideal, she had snapped the late Tuesday afternoon appointment up as soon as it was offered to her. She needed someone to unload her feelings to and although JR was a wonderful listener, he was also very biased when it came to her mother, he didn't like her very much and his suggestions for how to deal with her were often a lot harsher than anything she would realistically do. Doctor Williams was different, instead of directly offering her advice, he usually turned everything back on her, asking her to identify and isolate her thoughts and feelings about a subject instead of becoming overwhelmed by the largescale issue. He helped her to mentally separate her fears from the facts and in doing so, he allowed her to tackle issues with a clearer and more direct mindset. Her fears about seeing her mother again were related mostly to her self-consciousness and lack of self-confidence, about her body, about her parenting ability and just in general about how she lived her life and in the past, hearing her mother say anything negative about any of those things would have sent her into a downward spiral, but not now. She was working through those issues and she knew she was succeeding at overcoming them, she could see and feel the results; so even though her mother was openly judgemental and opinionated, that didn't automatically mean that she was right, Doctor Williams had helped her to understand that.

"Good evening darlin'", assisting her as she got out of her car, JR smiled as he noticed her relaxed demeanour. He knew where she'd been all afternoon and knowing his wife, he knew that an appointment with Doctor Williams could go many different ways, luckily though, it appeared that she wasn't upset or angry and she was ready to slide right back into her role as loving wife and mother. "Good evening", smiling as he held her hand and greeted her, Sue Ellen waited until he closed her car door behind her before leaning in to give him a soft kiss, she felt good and she wanted JR to know that she appreciated and loved him. Observing his son and daughter-in-law, Jock was torn; they appeared to be very happy together and for that he was immensely grateful, but he was also still a conservative man and he liked to know that Ewing wives were performing their roles as expected and from the way the situation had played out, he wasn't sure that was the case. To him, a good wife was ready and waiting for her husband when he arrived home from work, she didn't arrive home in a rush at the same time or later than her husband. A man was busy enough with his own important thoughts and activities and if possible, it was always best to try to avoid extra, unnecessary worry of waiting on his wife, especially when she had the whole day to run errands. As his own wife so often told him though, JR and Sue Ellen were a complicated couple and if they were happy, then that was all that mattered; Miss Ellie had also warned him not to interfere too much, because Sue Ellen was sensitive and JR was unpredictable and a small, well-meaning action could trigger an unintended domino effect. He may not like it, but he understood where his wife was coming from, so until he saw evidence that Sue Ellen's schedule was interfering with her wifely duties or was distracting JR from his job at Ewing Oil, he would stay quiet.

To be continued…


	288. Mothers and Children

**Dallas, Texas**

"Aww, look at how big he's gotten", cooing at her nephew, Kristin once again found herself pleased with the way her mother had planned her life and annoyed that Sue Ellen had ever caused such a fuss about not wanting to be controlled in that way. She truly enjoyed being with little John and by looking at Sue Ellen, even if she was still a little pudgy, life as a wife and mother wasn't so bad either, especially when she had access to anything and everything she could ever wish for. In seeing and experiencing a little of the life Sue Ellen had, it simply didn't make sense to her why her sister had been so resistant to it in the first place. Sure, JR Ewing was her own choice, not her mother's choice and she truly did love him, but when taken down to a base level he was still a very wealthy and socially important man and even if Sue Ellen had had a little of her own input, she was still essentially living the life Patricia had planned for her. Knowing it was better to just move on and not think too hard about it, she shrugged off her confusion; Sue Ellen had her life and she and their mother had theirs and if everything went to plan, in just a few short years she herself would be in an equal or better position than Sue Ellen was now. Sue Ellen had been on dates and turned down offers of relationships with wealthy men and it had taken her years to get married and start living the life she was entitled to, but Kristin was smarter than that. What was the point of putting four years of effort into college if she was just going to marry a wealthy man anyway? No, she trusted her mother and if Patricia introduced her to a man that would give her the life she deserved, then she would marry him, even if she were only eighteen or nineteen at that point in time. The point was, she wasn't Sue Ellen, she didn't need all of those extra titles or personal victories, all she needed was a Mrs prefix and a credit card with her married name on it.

Biting her tongue as the thoughts passed through her mind, Patricia simply nodded and agreed with her youngest daughter; John Ross wasn't the only one who had gotten big, but he was the only one that it was acceptable for anyone to make comments about. For fear of having JR get angry at her and deciding that it was the last straw and he would no longer funnel a little money to her as well as pay Kristin's school tuition, she stayed silent, but that didn't mean she wasn't thinking judgementally. John Ross was almost two months old and in addition to his mother, he had a grandmother and baby nurse to look after him, so Sue Ellen had no excuse for not taking the time to work on getting herself back into shape. There was only so long a man like JR Ewing would stay with a frumpy woman like Sue Ellen had turned into before he got bored or dissatisfied and started shopping around for a mistress, at best, or at worst, a new wife. She needed to warn Sue Ellen about what was in her future if she wasn't careful, but she needed to be smarter in her approach, because Sue Ellen was hypersensitive and if it looked at all like she was upset because of something she had said, then JR would be angry and that was not what she wanted. JR Ewing was the man to please in the situation, she just needed Sue Ellen to realise that he would be extra pleased if she worked harder to present herself nicely.

"Mhm, he weighs a little over ten pounds now, he was six and a half pounds at birth; the doctor says he's very healthy", smiling, oblivious to her mother or sister's thoughts, Sue Ellen repeated the numbers proudly. She truly enjoyed being a mother and to have the doctors and everyone around her confirming that her son was not only adorable, but also thriving in his environment, was a boost to her self-esteem; it pleased her to know that her efforts were a part of a bigger picture and her life really had meaning now. "Erm, Sue Ellen…" feeling him start to squirm a little and watching him open and close his mouth, Kristin had a feeling that he was hungry, but she wasn't his mother and she didn't really know what to do; "oh, he must be getting hungry, I'll make his bottle. Would you like to feed him?" In a good mood because of the way her family's visit was going, the way John Ross appeared to be settling back into a normal routine and the fact that Paula had called earlier in the week to tell her that she was moving back to Texas, Sue Ellen politely offered her sister the opportunity to participate. If Kristin were anything like Lucy, she enjoyed getting to play the nurturing role in real life every once in a while, it was almost like getting to bring one of her baby dolls to life, at least temporarily. Of course, John Ross could only be compared to a baby doll in the broadest sense; he was cute, cuddly and the majority of his clothes were cutesy, delicate and charming, but the moment he started to cry, smell like poop or vomit or generally just started acting human, the façade was broken. In the brief moments where he was silent and content though, he was angelic. "Sure", smiling brightly, Kristin agreed and continued to hold John Ross while Sue Ellen disappeared from the room to make his bottle; touching his tiny hands and brushing her fingers over his cheeks, she felt happy and useful and it confirmed to her that everything her mother was training her to do was worth it. Sue Ellen had a good life and she wanted hers to head in the same direction, only faster and more directly.

**New Orleans, Louisiana**

"You'll get to see grandma and grandpa, and nanna and poppa more often, and daddy will be home earlier, so you'll get to play with him for longer and you'll get to make lots of new friends. You'll love it", trying to get her son involved in packing up his bedroom and attempting to convince him that moving would be fun, Paula sighed as he sat on his bed and sulked, "no". He was only three and three-quarters and had no real idea what was about to happen, even with her doing her best to explain it to him, but that didn't stop him from kicking up a fuss at the fact that they were leaving. She had a feeling that he was mostly upset by the idea of packing up his toys and other fun things, so she was sure that once they settled into their new house, he would be fine, but life sure would have been easier if he'd just agreed and enjoyed the stories she was telling him. Knowing that if she attempted to convince him now, when he was sulking, he would really start to yell, she just let him lie silently on the bed for a moment before using distraction and flattery to attempt to change his mood. Sighing loudly and dramatically, she feigned strain and exhaustion as she attempted to pick up a light box of wooden blocks, "wow, this box is so heavy. I wish I had a strong man to help me", acting as if she were the only one in the room and she were simply verbalising her thoughts, she was not at all surprised when he sat up and stood up. "I help mama, I am strong", wandering over to her, he took the box from her hands and then walked over to the large cardboard box and placed it inside, "look", pointing and grinning, as if he had just done something amazing, she mentally patted herself on the back. "Good boy, you are strong", walking over and giving him a hug, she smiled and made a few more comments complimenting him and inviting him to be her helper; it was all mind tricks, he didn't like the idea of why they were packing things away, but the activity itself was enjoyable if she said the right things. He would have to deal with leaving eventually, but today was not that day and if she could get a few more things packed before he started to fuss again, then she would be happy.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thanks for all the recent reviews :)**


	289. All is Calm?

**Dallas, Texas**

"…and I'll have a Caesar salad", waiting for their waitress to finish taking their orders, Sue Ellen then thanked her and took a sip of her water. Observing her eldest daughter silently, Patricia was pleased at her choice of food and beverage and at the fact that prior to their lunch, she had gone for a run and a swim, explaining that she tried to exercise regularly. Perhaps Sue Ellen wasn't so stupid and naïve after all, she knew that getting back into shape was a priority, alongside being a good mother to her son and as long as she was making an effort, that was enough to satisfy her and keep her silent for now. However, if she visited again in another two months and Sue Ellen still looked pudgy, then she would say something, she had to, for Sue Ellen's own good. "This is a nice restaurant. Do you come here often?" looking around and making polite conversation, Patricia asked a basic, neutral question and Sue Ellen was relieved when she heard it; it was easy to answer and led them toward talking about the DOA and her other charity work. She liked safe, fairly impersonal topics when it came to her mother, they gave her less opportunity to nit-pick and if she could avoid having her life overanalysed and critiqued, then she would always choose that path. Even though she was stronger now and she felt as if she could stand up for herself in a situation where there was conflict, she still didn't particularly want to have to do that, she didn't want to fight, she just wanted to get along. She knew she and her mother would probably never agree on everything, but they didn't have to; they didn't live close and they were both adults with their own separate lives; in the times where they did see each other, all they had to do was be polite to one another.

Leaving the restaurant after their light lunch, Sue Ellen was in a good mood; her mother and sister's visit was shaping up to be the calmest and most pleasant weekend they'd all spent together in a long time and she didn't care if it was because they were on their best behaviour out of fear of being cut off. Whatever deal her mother and JR had together was between them and the less she knew about it, the more she liked it. JR wasn't stupid, he knew exactly how to stay in control and if paying her mother a small amount of money allowed him to call the shots when it came to what she could and could not say or do around her daughter, then Sue Ellen wasn't going to argue, all she wanted was a peaceful, happy life. Looking at her watch and noting that John Ross would have just gone down for another nap, she knew they still had a couple of hours to get back to Southfork; "mama, would you mind if we stopped by The Store for a moment? I need to get a few new things for John Ross, he's growing so fast". She knew she'd probably end up purchasing a few things for her mother and sister, but she didn't mind; as long as they didn't beg or complain, she liked being generous and she liked when they thought highly of her, even if it was mostly just because she spent money on them; she was used to expressing love like that. She did actually need to go shopping though, her explanation was the truth, John Ross was growing fast and did need a few new outfits and if they were in Dallas, she may as well purchase them now. Even though she was a stay at home mother, she didn't actually get very much time to herself, so to be out now seemed like the perfect time to get some errands done. "No, of course not. Lead the way", in a pleasant, cordial mood, Patricia waved forward and allowed Sue Ellen to guide them. All the years of teaching her daughters to be charming and polite had been mostly for public consumption, not private, but in practicing those skills herself today, she was really experiencing how they worked; being a kind, polite person really did reap rewards.

Leaving The Store, Sue Ellen was pleased that her mother had been so occupied by the selection of womenswear, juniors and infant clothing that she hadn't even enquired about Sue Ellen's lack of personal purchases. She was well aware that she still had a few pounds to lose and a little body toning to do before she was back in her pre-pregnancy shape, she didn't need her mother to remind her of that, so the fact that she had stayed silent so far really was a blessing and a relief. It was Saturday afternoon and they were staying at Southfork until Sunday evening, and at the rate things were going, Sue Ellen hoped that their remaining hours together were as pleasant and uneventful as the past day. Doctor Williams had taught her a few skills to help her to be strong and stand up for herself, but so far, she hadn't actually had to use those skills and she was enjoying that. She didn't like fighting and if they could get through the weekend without conflict then that would be a success in her mind, even if they didn't actually confront any of the underlying issues. She knew at some point Doctor Williams would insist that avoidance wasn't a long-term solution and she would have to defend herself one day, but if her mother wasn't pressing the issues and was being a pleasant person, then she really didn't want to be the one to break that. She knew that their current good relationship was probably only temporary; there would be plenty of opportunities to assert herself as independent and strong in the future, but if she could avoid it for now, then she would.

Sitting in the downstairs office at Southfork, JR reclined in the large leather chair as he attempted to catch up on some paperwork from earlier in the week, but as his eyes scanned over the words, his mind wasn't really in the right place to actually comprehend what the words were saying. He was worried about Sue Ellen; he knew Patricia, she was acting sweet and polite, but he had a strong suspicion that she was thinking her usual mean-spirited thoughts and that always meant bad things for Sue Ellen. Despite knowing deep down that leaving her alone with her mother was a bad idea, he'd still facilitated the opportunity for that to happen and now, he was definitely having regrets about his actions. He'd had a long week at work and honestly hadn't really felt like putting up with Patricia for hours on end, so, in a moment of selfishness, he had suggested that the three Shepard women needed an afternoon to reacquaint themselves and had insisted that they all go to lunch in Dallas, alone. In doing so though, he had really just excused himself from having to interact with Patricia any longer than necessary and now he felt awful about it.

Looking at his watch, he knew that if his calculations were correct, John Ross was scheduled to awake again in about half an hour and if he knew his wife, she wouldn't want to miss two playtimes with him in one day, so she would probably be arriving back at Southfork soon. He was fairly certain that his assumptions were correct, John Ross was back on a somewhat predictable schedule now and Sue Ellen was a good mother; what he couldn't be sure of though was what was happening somewhere in Dallas right now. He couldn't control the interaction between Sue Ellen, Kristin and Patricia and he was annoyed at himself for giving up any opportunity to at least mediate it; he had been thinking about the present, not the future and that was a mistake. Antsy and unable to concentrate on the work in front of him, he headed upstairs to the nursery to look at John Ross for a moment, his son had a special effect on him and he was always amazed that he could feel so much for someone so tiny. He'd disliked Gary and Bobby as babies, there was never much good attention left for him when they were around; and being a man in his early twenties when he brought Lucy back to Southfork for his parents, he hadn't really spent much time thinking about her or even just with her, but with John Ross, everything was different. John Ross was his son, his son with his wife that he loved more than anything; he, like Sue Ellen had had no idea what it was like to really love someone in the way that he loved John Ross, but now that he knew that feeling, he was incredibly grateful that it was there to stay. He'd originally wanted a baby for reasons mostly relating to the future of Ewing Oil, but the moment Sue Ellen told him that she was pregnant, he'd begun thinking differently and in feeling and seeing his son growing inside his wife, his expectations and hopes for the future Ewing begun to get more personal. He loved being a father, not because his son had secured him ownership of the family company, but because he truly loved and adored the little boy sleeping in the crib and he truly wanted an opportunity to be a good father and have a good father-son relationship.

Caught up in his thoughts, JR didn't notice the minutes ticking by and was startled when Sue Ellen entered the nursery behind him, taking hold of his hand as they waited for their son to awake from his nap. Once he got over his initial microsecond reaction to the presence of another person, he then observed his wife for signs of damage, emotional or physical, and he was honestly surprised when she appeared to be smiling and happy; an afternoon with her family almost never resulted in such emotions, so he did have to wonder what was going on. However, noticing John Ross begin to wiggle and stretch, he knew that now was not the time to start that conversation; they were parents and now was the time to act like parents and honestly, right now, there was nowhere he'd rather be.

To be continued…


	290. Saturday Afternoon

**Dallas, Texas**

"It was nice, honestly", trying to explain their afternoon to JR, Sue Ellen found herself getting confused and frustrated; it was unusual for her mother to not cause problems, but she didn't want to question it too much for fear of ruining her good mood. She couldn't explain why her mother was all of a sudden a pleasant person and in some ways, she didn't really want to; whatever was going on probably wouldn't last and she didn't want to get her hopes up in expecting that it would. She'd tried to get JR to understand what she was saying, but he didn't seem to get it, repeatedly questioning her as if her mother had told her what her hidden agenda was and she had just missed the signs; it was getting annoying now, she didn't know and she was sick of him asking her to explain. "So you went to lunch, had a pleasant chat, then you went to The Store, bought a few things and then you came home? That's all? She didn't say anything odd?", not realising how frustrated she was getting with his questions, JR continued to ask and was shocked when she glared at him and screamed her answer back at him, "yes! That's all!" pausing for a moment, she stopped sorting through the new purchases she'd made for John Ross and looked at him, "what more do you want? I don't know what goes on in my mother's mind. All I know is that today, for whatever reason, was nice and to be honest, I don't care to know why that was, I just enjoyed not fighting or feeling terrible about myself for an afternoon", sighing and pausing for a moment, she continued to speak, this time in a more resigned, tired manner. "Look, I know you're curious and confused, so am I, but I honestly don't know, so can we end this discussion before it turns into a fight? Please", looking him in the eye and then looking down at the floor, she pleaded him to just let it go; she didn't want to fight or talk about it anymore and she hoped that he would respect her wishes. Surprised by her directness, JR nodded; he couldn't argue with her when she was asking him something nicely, even if she had been yelling at him just a moment ago. "Of course darlin', I'm sorry if I upset you", knowing that everything was always a little better when he just apologised to her, even if he wasn't entirely sure what he was apologising for, he did it anyway. She had a point, he didn't particularly want to fight either and honestly, he didn't need Doctor Williams hearing any more bad stories about him, the man probably already thought Sue Ellen was crazy for staying married to him. Changing mood again as she heard him apologising, freely, without prompting, Sue Ellen walked over to him and hugged him, mumbling into his shoulder as she did, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you. I know that the situation sounds odd, but really, it was just nice and I'd like for it to stay that way". Pulling out of their hug but not losing contact, JR nodded and kissed her lightly on the forehead; he didn't understand her a lot of the time, but he was learning to just let her be and to not try to control her or the situation. Even if in the past he had thought he was allowing her to be her own person, she hadn't felt that way and it had caused a lot of problems for her and for their marriage, so now, he was trying to make a special effort to allow her to make her own decisions and speak for herself. She needed her own identity and to feel as if she was being heard and he wanted to help her to do that; he loved her and he wanted their marriage to work. There were very few people JR Ewing respected, but his wife was on that list and he wasn't going to purposely upset or anger her by pushing her to do anything she didn't want to do.

Downstairs, outside on the patio, Miss Ellie and Patricia sat talking and drinking iced tea as they watched Lucy and Kristin swim in the pool. "I can't believe how much John Ross has grown in such a short space of time. He's beginning to really smile and he responds so enthusiastically to the colourful mobile above his crib", taking a drink as she paused, Patricia then continued, gushing about her grandson's development in both an excited and regretful tone of voice. She didn't believe she was a terrible mother, she had done everything for her daughters, but in manipulating and controlling their lives, she was finding it difficult to remember the things they had accomplished on their own, without any assistance from her. She remembered Sue Ellen's first steps and Kristin's first words, but she didn't really remember little details about their early lives, the kind of things that the Ewings seemed to talk about and admire and it made her a little sad to think that those things had happened in her own children's lives and she hadn't noticed. Granted, she had had a lot going on in her life when her daughters were younger and she'd been under a lot of stress most of the time, unlike the Ewings who were socially, financially and emotionally stable, but still, in the back of her mind, she felt a little regretful. "He has, he's getting bigger, stronger and smarter every day and I'm so pleased and grateful that I get to be here with him to experience all of that. Things are a lot different now to when my sons were young and Lucy, well, Lucy's first few months were turbulent to say the least. I'm pleased that Sue Ellen is beginning to feel better now too, I would have hated for her to have had a bad experience with motherhood, she'd wanted it so much and for so long, she truly deserves all of the happiness in her life". Smiling calmly and happily as she thought about the future of JR and Sue Ellen's little family and the future of the Ewing family as a whole, she felt happy and content. It would have been nice for Gary to be part of their daily lives, but she couldn't deny that Jock and JR were nicer people when Gary wasn't around and although she didn't know where he was, she had to assume that Gary was happy with his life too. He knew that he always had a home at Southfork, but if he chose not to come back to that home, then she had to accept that; as much as she hated to admit it, he was an adult and he could make his own decisions.

A little taken aback by Miss Ellie's comment, Patricia's mood changed, "what was wrong with Sue Ellen? As far as I was aware, she's always been very happy here at Southfork. I'll have to have a word with her if she's been burdening everyone with an unpleasant attitude", annoyed that her eldest daughter would act so rudely in front of her in-laws, she spoke without really considering the meaning behind Miss Ellie's words. Sighing, Miss Ellie, quickly regretted saying anything, she knew Sue Ellen probably didn't want her mother to know about her struggles, she and Patricia weren't close and didn't share things like that with one another and from observing their relationship, she had a strong understanding why that was. "Oh no, nothing like that. Sue Ellen is a lovely young woman; she's polite, graceful, beautiful, appreciative, a wonderful wife and mother and I couldn't have asked for a better daughter-in-law. All I meant was that the first few weeks for any mother are difficult, but I'm pleased that her struggle wasn't long lasting", giving Patricia a warm, friendly smile in an effort to help convince her, she hoped that her cover story was believable and she wouldn't push the topic any further. "Oh, that sounds more like the daughter I raised", smiling proudly at the glowing assessment of her eldest daughter, Patricia temporarily forgot about her previous suspicions; they wouldn't be gone forever, but they were pushed to the back of her mind once Miss Ellie finished speaking. Nodding, Miss Ellie stayed quiet for a moment before turning her attention toward Lucy and Kristin who had gotten out of the pool and were now drying off and chatting amongst themselves.

Walking over to her grandmother, Lucy used her most charming voice to ask whether she and Kristin could go down to the stables and responding that as long as they were back in time to get ready for dinner, they could, Miss Ellie smiled to herself as the two young girls ran back into the house to change. Observing the interaction between grandmother and granddaughter, Patricia felt a little jealous; she and Kristin were close, but in a much more controlled way; it was obvious that Miss Ellie held real love and affection for her granddaughter and if the way she interacted with John Ross was any indication, her grandson had a bright future ahead of him. Not only would John Ross grow up in a socially, emotionally and financially privileged home, he would also grow up secure in the knowledge that he didn't have to worry or stress about his future. If all went to plan, and she expected it would, in another two or three decades, John Ross Ewing III would follow in his father and grandfather's footsteps and become the president of Ewing Oil. JR Ewing may not have been her first choice for Sue Ellen's husband, but she couldn't deny that Sue Ellen's marriage to him had been very beneficial, for both the Shepard and Ewing families. "How nice, Lucy and Kristin get along so well…" pausing for a moment, she then continued, changing the direction of their conversation a little. "I'm sure little John will have a wonderful life growing up on this beautiful ranch. His Uncle Bobby will teach him to ride, and someday he'll have a great big office, right next to his daddy's. What a wonderful future", smiling proudly, as if she were a major player in his life, she then sipped her iced tea and listened as Miss Ellie concurred. Agreeing with Patricia but not wanting to get into an in-depth discussion about John Ross' future, not after telling Jock to behave in a more controlled manner when speaking about the future, Miss Ellie gently nudged the conversation back to a general topic and was pleased when Kristin and Lucy emerged from the house again. John Ross may have been born into a family where his life was pre-planned, but she didn't want it to be a daily discussion, she had a feeling that that hadn't done JR much good and she wanted things to be different for John Ross.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Credit for some of the lines between Patricia and Miss Ellie goes to Arthur Bernard Lewis who wrote the episode **_**The Silent Killer**_**.**


	291. Kinship

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR?" hearing the familiar sound of JR walking down the hall, Sue Ellen called out to him from the nursery, "would you please watch John Ross for a moment while I make his bottle. He really seems to be enjoying his play gym this morning, so I don't want to have to put him back in his crib while I'm away". Knowing that it wouldn't take her long, but not wanting to have him start crying or fussing because she took him away from his fun activity, she requested JR's help and was happy when he nodded and took a seat on the floor next to his son, immediately taking over her role as supervisor and parent. Quickly leaving the room, Sue Ellen smiled to herself; in many ways, JR was constantly surprising people, but none more than with his parenting skills; he was a wonderful father and husband and she was thrilled to be the woman who got to experience that side of him the most intimately.

Sitting and watching his son swat at the colourful hanging objects, JR chuckled happily to himself; John Ross was still very young, but he was convinced that he was already showing signs of being smart, just like his daddy. It still surprised him how much he actually enjoyed being a father, but he was thrilled that their bond was already established and by all accounts, strong. John Ross cooed and smiled when he saw a familiar face, but with he and Sue Ellen, JR knew there was something more, John Ross knew they were his parents and they loved him, he had to. In his enjoyment as a father, it had never really occurred to him to treat the time he spent with John Ross as if he were simply minding him, like a babysitter or nanny, not a father; it had always seemed like a logical thing, he was his father and he should act like it. That didn't mean that he liked or wanted to change diapers or clean up spit up, but he did those tasks, occasionally; the majority of the time though he did enjoy the benefits of being a man, in both gender role expectation and as a result of his immense wealth. It was nice to not be expected to be a hands-on father, it meant that he was praised for his efforts, even if they paled in comparison to those of his wife, his mother or the baby nurse; it was also nice to have the means to hire a baby nurse to help out, because she really was a blessing. However, just because he had and used the help available to him didn't mean that he was stupid, incapable or unwilling; he could and would perform the dirty tasks by himself if necessary, he was simply lucky that it wasn't often that it was necessary. For now though, John Ross was clean, alert and ready to play and that was fine with JR, he liked being a part of his son's development and he liked seeing him express happiness. He wanted to be a good father and his son's reactions to him and Sue Ellen's affection for him when she talked about him as a father were anything to go by, he wasn't the only one that thought he was doing a good job.

Returning to the nursery, Sue Ellen brimmed with pride as she stood in the doorway and watched her husband and son interact; the scene in front of her was sweet and loving and she still couldn't believe that she was lucky enough to be part of it all. John Ross was still very little, but he knew who his parents were and he knew that they loved him and that made her extremely happy; she had worried so much about parenting and raising a child, but she was beginning to see that if she put a good effort in, then she reaped good rewards. She and JR still had a lot to learn and a lot to overcome before they were anywhere near perfect, but parenting was no longer a scary, greatly overwhelming task; it was challenging and could be exhausting at times, but it was worth it and would always be worth it. "Is somebody hungry?" walking over to her son and husband, Sue Ellen hoped to distract and redirect John Ross' attention away from his toys and entice him to instead be excited by his bottle. It wasn't the end of the world if he cried, but she didn't like upsetting him or seeing him upset, so she always aimed to introduce new things in a more sensitive and less direct way if she could. He was just a baby, but he wasn't insentient or stupid, he had feelings and she wanted to make him as comfortable and happy as she possibly could. Turning his head at the sound of his mother's voice, John Ross looked at her curiously before whimpering a little as his father picked him up and handed him to her as she sat down in the rocking chair. Luckily for all three of them though, his distress was only temporary and he calmed as he instinctively latched on to the teat and began to drink, much to the relief of his parents. Looking at their son and then at each other, both JR and Sue Ellen felt happy and completely satisfied; starting and becoming a real family really was one of the best things they'd ever done together and although neither could really verbally express how greatly the felt about the issue, somehow, they both knew. It was only just beginning and there would be a multitude of challenges for them to face in the future, but together, it was possible and they would succeed.

"…well, Kristin goes back to school in the fall and we each have our activities, but I am having a few second thoughts about going back to Austin, it's only an hour's flight, but it seems so far away now that John Ross is here". Speaking quietly to Jock as they waited for the rest of the family to come downstairs for pre-dinner cocktails, Patricia planted the first seeds of her plan. She had made up her mind the previous day while out shopping with Sue Ellen; the easiest way to benefit from the Ewing money and connections was to reside within the general Dallas–Fort Worth metroplex and that was exactly what she now intended on doing. She had to be smart about the way she presented her decision to the Ewing family though, because she didn't want to be perceived as a gold-digger, even if that's essentially what she was. "That is true; family is the most important thing in this life; money is useful, enjoyable and gives us the power and drive we need to succeed, but without a family to share that success with, not much else matters", speaking honestly, mostly about his own life experience, Jock felt proud. For the most part, his life was about his family; granted, he was focused on improving their financial status and building their collective power just as much as he was on improving their kinship, but he was a lucky man; three generations of Ewings lived at Southfork and most of the time, they lived happily. It pleased him to know that Southfork was a true family home and he had no problem informing people of the way he felt, so when Patricia mentioned being far away from John Ross, his mind automatically moved into a place of promoting the benefits of being close to family, not questioning the real motives behind her statement. "You know, Dallas is a nice place and if you want to be closer to your first grandson, it is possible. We have very good schools here and Kristin's a social girl, she'll easily make new friends. I'm sure Sue Ellen and Miss Ellie could introduce you to a few of their friends too, so it's not like you would be all alone either…" grinning, as if he'd just come up with a brilliant solution to her problem, Jock looked at her and stated the obvious, just as JR and Sue Ellen entered the room. "Why don't you move up here, to Dallas?" going pale and then looking at her husband, Sue Ellen panicked and froze; the last thing she wanted was for her mother to be closer all the time, even if she had been a pleasant person this weekend. Staring at JR, waiting for him to interject, she was speechless and for the first time in a long time, she hoped that his new, nicer persona wasn't all encompassing; right now, she needed scheming JR. This couldn't happen, she was happy with the way their lives were and that included her mother residing two hundred and thirty miles from Southfork.

To be continued…


	292. Solution?

**Dallas, Texas**

"I don't care what you do, just don't let her move up here. For some insane reason, I do love my mother and I want to believe that she's had a change of personality and truly wants to be an involved grandmother, but you know what? I'm not stupid, I don't believe it. I know her and this isn't who she is, not really", she didn't quite know what her mother's motivation was at this point in time, but she knew it wasn't nearly as pure as wanting to be closer to her grandson. "Please JR", going from frustrated to helpless and needy in just a few seconds, she practically begged him to use his power to do something, fast. "Darlin', I promise, I will not allow your mother to make a mess of our lives, however, we cannot just jump and make a quick, irrational, reckless decision; we need to be as smart about this as she is, because no matter how much her comments tonight appeared to be spur of the moment honest thoughts, they were anything but. I imagine your mother decided quite some time ago that she wasn't satisfied with what Austin has to offer and saw an opportunity to improve her life by cosying up to the Ewing family. I can't really blame her for trying, I do admire a good scheme and opportunistic mindset, however, I stand by what you're saying; I do not want your mother any closer to Dallas than she currently is", looking his wife in the eye as he confirmed that he was on her side, he was relieved when she smiled a little. "Now, ordinarily, I would either renegotiate our deal or simply cut her out of our lives, depending on how our interaction went down, however, it's not that simple this time. Your mother is smart; she purposely made her feelings known in front of my parents in order to set up an expectation, primarily that she'll be around John Ross more often, but secondarily that she'll be able to do so because she and Kristin will be relocating from Austin to Dallas. By planting the seed for the idea but allowing daddy to suggest it, she also removed herself from any future accusations that she somehow masterminded the whole plan and manipulated her way back into our lives. The way it appears to Lucy, Bobby, mama and daddy is that your mother was overcome by regret and longing for closeness to her grandson and that she wasn't planning anything until daddy suggested it; that's how it is, we can't change that. We have to be careful about how we approach her now though, because if I know Patricia as well as I think I do, I'm sure she already has a long list of reasons why Austin is no longer the place for she and Kristin and even better, a list of reasons why I should help finance their move".

Sighing, he considered his options; in general, he didn't really have a problem with paying a little money to Sue Ellen's family each month, it increased Patricia's opinion of him, allowed him to assert a little control in their lives if necessary and boosted his ego when he considered that he could comfortably support so many people. In this instance though, Patricia's presumptuousness, entitled attitude and manipulation irritated him; he didn't like being played and he didn't like when people assumed they were smarter than him, so instinctively, he wanted to shut down her plan and teach her a lesson, but logically, he knew she had him between a rock and a hard place. He couldn't do anything too harsh, not with his parents watching, however, he also didn't want to do anything to give Patricia the idea that she'd won, so he knew that instead of going for his instinctual approach, he had to think and act more cunningly. Instead of automatically cutting-off her current line of credit and have a hard, semi-threatening conversation with her, he had to be smarter, he had to beat her at her own game and whatever way he thought about it, that involved him spending an exorbitant amount of money. Luckily for him though, he was a very wealthy man and that wasn't a real world issue as much as it was a personal one; it almost felt like extortion, despite the fact that she hadn't asked him for a dime.

"So what do we do?" looking at him expectantly, Sue Ellen was unaware of just how deeply JR felt about the issue. For him, he didn't care so much about what happened to Patricia as he did about the damage to his ego if she successfully got exactly what she wanted; he couldn't and wouldn't allow himself to be seen as weak, but he also had to maintain a good image with his family. "We give her what she wants, but on our terms", snapping up from looking at the ground, he looked her in the eye as the idea hit him. He could do to Patricia what his father had done to him; he could force her hand by giving her exactly what she was asking for, as long as she followed his rules. "We draw up a contract, lay out ground rules, expectations and consequences if the rules are broken, and in return your mother gets what she wants, a bigger home, closer to Southfork, and if she plays her cards right, she can have access to more money. If we offer enough incentive, I'm sure we can get her to sign a legally binding contract, outlining what she can and cannot do, and if that means that we no longer have to deal with the drama that inevitably follows contact with her, then so be it, I don't care how much it costs, it'll be worth it".

Looking at him as if he were insane, Sue Ellen shook her head lightly; it wasn't a totally crazy idea, her mother was heavily motivated by money, however, the idea that someone would sign away their right to say or do certain things seemed foolish to her. Sighing, she spoke quietly, "it's worth a try. For the right price, my mother will probably agree to anything", not knowing that the same could be said for her husband and his fidelity, she spoke freely, without awkwardness or anger; money was important to her mother and Ewing Oil was important to her husband, but she wasn't equating them to each other right now. As she spoke, something in her tone triggered a thought in JR; she had no idea that along with his father's commitment to handing the company over to him came a contract with many small details and one big catch. He had to remain faithful to her in order to gain control of the company and although he was now a better man, in times of possible temptation, it was both the image of his wife and the thought of the contract that stopped him from doing anything that would jeopardize his future. Realising that she probably wouldn't take too kindly to hearing that his love for her wasn't the only reason why he was acting like a better man now, even if it were the main reason, he knew that if he wanted their marriage to stay good, he had to make sure she remained clueless about his contract. He was a good husband and father, but he hadn't been in the past and the scars were still there, so he needed to make sure that he didn't do anything to open up old wounds; he didn't want to hurt her. If she was on board with the plan to make Patricia conform though, he didn't have any problem involving her, he just had to be careful to not speak of his own experience with contracts of that nature. "I'll call Harve in the morning", nodding and giving her a commiserative but strong smile, he hoped that he hadn't lost his negotiation skills, because getting Patricia to sign anything binding probably wouldn't be as easy as he hoped and he would need to be on top of his game if he were to get what he wanted.

To be continued…


	293. Push

**Dallas, Texas**

"…and you don't believe she simply wants to be closer to her grandson?" looking at his patient expectantly, Doctor Williams prompted her; he knew she didn't believe that John Ross was her mother's primary motivation, and frankly, neither did he, however, he needed her to verbalise her own thoughts before they moved any further. "No, I don't", looking him in the eye as she spoke, Sue Ellen thought for a moment before continuing, "don't get me wrong, I believe she loves John Ross, she's not a complete monster, however, I don't believe John Ross has anything to do with her wanting to move closer to Dallas. I don't believe that she is dissatisfied with having to fly an hour each way, first class or by private jet I must add, to see her grandson; she knows that all she has to do is call and most likely, the answer to her hints about visiting will be yes. She knows how to guilt me into inviting her to places and giving her things, she's a master manipulator. That's why I don't believe her. There is nothing stopping her from making more frequent visits to Southfork, not really; but in the two months since John Ross' birth, she's seen him for probably a total of six or seven days; that's fine with me, she doesn't have to be heavily involved, but it also doesn't ring true to the wishes of a needy grandmother. John Ross is a convenient excuse for her to move closer to JR and me, closer to the Ewing money and connections. Kristin will be starting junior high in the fall and if I know my mother, that means she'll be entering more pageants, taking more extracurricular classes and going to more social mixers; she's starting her real, serious training to find a wealthy husband and with my marriage to JR, Dallas offers a better range of options for my sister's future. Now, it's not all selfless either, it's not all about Kristin's future; I'm sure my mother realises that she's met and mixed with every wealthy man in Austin between the ages of forty five and eighty and apart from one or two who may have temporarily fallen for her act, she's now exhausted her options. Dallas offers everything she wants, but she can't just up and move here without reason and expect everyone to accommodate her, so she's planned it carefully and is now putting that plan into action; John Ross is her gateway to a better life".

Sighing as she verbalised her thoughts, she wondered how true her beliefs were; her mother was selfish, but she wasn't a monster, she wasn't entirely self-motivated, was she? Perhaps she was; to Patricia, Sue Ellen's marriage to JR and the idea of Kristin's future marriage pleased her mostly because she indirectly bettered her own life, not because she truly cared about their happiness; so perhaps instead of caring at all, she really was entirely motived by money. Shaking off that thought, Sue Ellen reassured herself that that wasn't the case. Her mother had to have some heart, otherwise, instead of being Mrs JR Ewing right now, she'd have probably been Mrs William 'Billy' Frampton III, or worse, the silent, controlled and completely miserable wife of one of the many, much older and less kind men her mother had set her up with. JR was eight years older than her and although she truly did love him and enjoy being with him, there were still times and had been many times in the past when she was still a college student that she'd felt like a child with her father rather than a happy young lady with her boyfriend/husband. Some of the men her mother had set her up with had had nothing going for them except for having large bank balances, so even though they were wealthy, she had no doubt as to why they were still looking for wives; any sane woman wouldn't go near them. To be JR's wife and have been allowed to get to almost twenty-three years of age prior to marrying him, confirmed to her that although somewhat high-handed, her mother wasn't completely heartless; she could have pushed her into a lucrative, but wholly loveless marriage she didn't want if she had tried hard enough, luckily for Sue Ellen though, she hadn't.

"Mhm, and what does your mother have to say about all of this? I don't mean what did she say in front of the Ewings, I'm asking what she said when you discussed it between yourselves privately", raising his eyebrow at her as he spoke, he knew his question would fluster her enough to make her think. In his previous experience with Mrs Sue Ellen Ewing and from everything she had said in their appointment that morning, there was no doubt in his mind that she hadn't actually confronted her mother about the issue directly, but he wanted her to consider that for herself before asking him for his thoughts on the subject. "Well…" knowing that a few agreeable words at family dinner and then a brief, non-invasive conversation on the drive from Southfork to the airport didn't really count as a discussion, she paused, at a loss for words. "That's what I thought", pausing and taking a moment to make eye contact with her, he spoke again, slowly and carefully, hoping that she understood he was there to help her, not judge her, "communication Sue Ellen, communication. You must not allow your mother to control your thoughts like this. You feel a certain way and assume that her motivation is selfish, and it's entirely possible that it is that way, but you will never know for sure and will never have your thoughts and feelings on the subject considered if you don't say anything. I think you know by now that your mother is a doer, she doesn't look for a range of opinions before making a decision, she simply does what she wants and if somebody is upset with that, then so be it, it doesn't bother her. You're not the same and although you're probably more polite about the way you approach situations, it's often to your detriment, not your benefit. In this case, I don't want you to just suffer silently because you want to avoid confrontation and I don't want you to simply allow your husband to speak for you, I want you to sit down and talk to your mother, rationally and politely, but still firmly. You don't have to be rude and you don't have to accuse her of having other motivations, but you need to speak to her, you need to open up a dialogue so that she is aware that you have feelings, because if you allow her to just do what she wants, then I guarantee that she won't consider your feelings. Then do you know what's going to happen? We'll be sitting here again in a month or whenever when she does move to Dallas and we'll be having this same conversation again. You need to be proactive and voice your concerns now, before anything happens, not later on, when it's already happened. Do you understand?" he knew that he had to be gentle and sensitive toward her feelings sometimes, but now was not one of those times, this was a situation that required her to use her initiative and directly address her concerns, because it wasn't just going to disappear if she pretended that it didn't exist.

Feeling sick to her stomach at the idea of confronting her mother, because she knew that any way she approached the situation would probably turn into an argument, Sue Ellen nodded warily, "yes, I understand". Seeing that she was deeply afraid, Doctor Williams softened toward her, "a polite, direct discussion about her future in Dallas, that's all. No accusations of gold-digging or bringing up past, unrelated actions; I simply want you to talk to her and manage expectations of what will happen to your lives now that she intends on being closer. You have the right as her daughter, the mother of her grandson and as a concerned participant in her and your own life, to ask questions and set a few boundaries. If possible, I'd like you to do it without JR present, however, if you really need him for moral support, then you may include him; I do not want JR to speak for you though, you need to assert yourself, you need to make your mother understand that you aren't a pushover and she shouldn't act as if you are. I will also offer my services for a group session if you do not think that your own efforts are enough. You're my patient and your happiness is my primary concern, however, your happiness is connected to all of the other people in your life, so if you need to make decisions in a safe, supportive space like this, then you're welcome to do so. First things first though, I would like you to at least try to speak to your mother alone, it's good practice for your life after our sessions come to a close and it's a good way for your mother to learn that you are a serious adult and she cannot treat you as if you're a petulant child". Offering her a warm, encouraging smile to go with his words, he gave her a specific task and reassured her that she was capable of at least attempting that task. "Thank you", nodding as she considered everything, Sue Ellen took a deep breath and then agreed, thanking him before standing, shaking his hand and then leaving he room. Leaving the building after arranging her next appointment, the sick feeling in her stomach worsened; she had a bad feeling about everything, Doctor Williams had never met her mother, he didn't know how bad she could affect her and she wasn't sure that she was ready to throw herself into a situation like that. Whether she was or wasn't was irrelevant though, because as Doctor Williams had said, her mother had a mind of her own and unless Sue Ellen said something to discourage her, she would not hesitate to do exactly as she pleased, no matter who it hurt.

To be continued…


	294. Questions

**Dallas, Texas**

"Doctor Williams said I should speak to my mother alone before I involve you. I don't know if that's the best thing, but he seemed to believe that it was necessary for my future growth into a stronger, more assertive and less submissive woman, so I'd like to at least try". Looking at JR as she explained the situation and informed him that she would like to try to resolve the issue by herself instead of involving Harve Smithfield and his legal contract, she hoped that he understood, however, from the look on his face, he didn't and he wasn't happy. "I'd like to speak to this Doctor Williams, give him a piece of my mind", huffing in annoyance at the idea that his mentally and emotionally delicate wife purposely start a divisive conversation with her mother, the woman that was the cause of so many of her issues, JR paused and collected himself. He couldn't really verbalise his thoughts, she wasn't so weak that she would really accept him using her former emotional instability as an excuse as to why she shouldn't move forward, and starting a discussion that would inevitably turn into an argument would be counterproductive right now, so instead, against his instinct to make himself heard, he held back. After a few moments of consideration, thinking about what would work for them as a couple in the long run, he spoke again, "ok, do what you have to do. I'm coming with you though, that is non-negotiable. I'll stay quiet, but I need to be there to make sure she plays fair", not mentioning that he wouldn't be telling Harve to cancel his contract writing any time soon, he played agreeable and was relieved when she appeared to accept his answer. "Fine", knowing that JR wouldn't take no for an answer and that she was lucky he was even allowing her to deal with the situation on her own at all, despite being a grown woman, she agreed and secretly, she was actually a little pleased that he was so set on coming with her. She acted as if she were entirely sure of her decision, but deep down, she wasn't, and she liked when JR was there to support her, even if it were to raise her mood after a confrontation that she willingly and foolishly put herself into. "Good", giving her a soft kiss, JR ended their discussion and motioned for her to finish getting ready for dinner and he was pleased when she did exactly as he instructed; he didn't mind her being her own person, but he did get a certain satisfaction out of having the last word.

**Austin, Texas**

"Mama?" setting the table for dinner, Kristin thought about the cryptic things her mother had said over the past few weeks and the conversation that had occurred the previous evening at Southfork, and sensing that now wasn't the worst time to ask, she decided to broach the subject. "Yes dear?" looking up from the kitchen counter, Patricia noticed her youngest daughter had a quizzical expression on her face, as if she were really trying to understand something. "JR pays for my school and gives us a little money each month, but I don't get the feeling that he does that because he likes us, he does it because he's Sue Ellen's husband and he should help to support her family…" pausing as her mother nodded subconsciously, she then continued. "The thing I guess I don't quite understand is why you're so sure moving to Dallas will upgrade our lives in some way. If JR doesn't like us, surely he doesn't want us living closer to he and Sue Ellen, and if we do move, what's to say that he won't get annoyed and stop supporting us? Aren't you afraid that he'll use the power he has over us if he's angry?" Speaking rationally for a moment, she then slipped into a more emotional state of mind, "I like my school and my friends and unless you're sure that our lives will be better in the future, I would really prefer to not have to move". Trying to remain as respectful as she possibly could, as to not anger her mother, she hoped that she had a good answer, one that would make everything seem better, because honestly, Dallas, while nice enough to visit, wasn't her home and she really didn't want to move, especially if there was no guarantee of a better life.

Pursing her lips as she tried to decide whether she was annoyed with her youngest daughter for questioning her or proud of how intuitive she was, Patricia took a deep breath and then spoke. "What JR Ewing thinks of us is irrelevant now; he must support us in one way or another, it's a social expectation, I made sure of it. Now my dear, as well as being a good negotiator, I am your mother and if I tell you to do something, then you do it, no questions asked", she didn't appreciate being questioned, but she tried to remain level-headed simply because she needed Kristin on her side; an upset Kristin could ruin her plan if she wasn't careful. Neither of her daughters were stupid, however, although Sue Ellen had fought a lot of the decisions she'd made for her, she was still the more submissive of the two, she often did what her mother told her to do because she respected authority, as she had been taught to. Kristin had a different personality to her older sister, she followed Patricia's instructions because she wanted the end result, she wanted a life of luxury and wealth and she believed that her mother knew how to get her that life, however, as well as trusting her mother, she wasn't afraid to speak her mind and question the decisions she made. Her mother was the authoritarian in the family and she trusted her, but she wasn't stupid herself, she had learned a lot from both her mother and JR Ewing and she could tell that whatever her mother's plan was, it didn't necessarily guarantee them a better life. It seemed obvious to her that her mother was taking a risk in assuming that JR would offer them more than what he was currently giving and honestly, she wasn't sure that she was prepared to take that risk, even if her mother was.

"You're sure?" not wanting to get into an argument with her mother or look like she was being too disrespectful, she simply waited for her to nod and assure her that she was sure, even if Kristin didn't believe it. "I'm sure", nodding, slightly annoyed with her youngest daughter for questioning her, Patricia remained calm, she needed Kristin on her side when it came to her future negotiations with JR and having her upset because she got angry at her wouldn't help her case. As well as being calm for reasons of future manipulation, she was also calm because she was confident. The way she saw it, JR had one of two options to choose from and either way, she and Kristin were better off. He would either give in and provide them with a nice life in Dallas to make sure his image was not damaged with his family. Or he would do the more likely thing and try to bribe her into not moving, thus opening their prior agreement up to negotiations again. She knew what she wanted out of life and JR Ewing was the man who could facilitate that, even if it were because he was trying to get rid of her rather than because he liked her. One way or another though, she would get her wish.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thanks for all the recent reviews; the comments about Patricia make me laugh, and about JR, I agree with most of those too. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	295. Nervous

**Dallas, Texas**

"Sue Ellen?" noticing how antsy and distracted her daughter-in-law appeared to be, Miss Ellie knew she had to at least ask her whether she was ok; Sue Ellen didn't have to talk if she didn't want to, but she needed a little reminder that she wasn't all alone in the world. Looking up from her lunch, Sue Ellen saw a familiar look in her mother-in-law's eyes, love and genuine concern, "yes Miss Ellie?" knowing that she probably wasn't concerned about John Ross, he was a happy, healthy little boy who had everything and everyone there for him, she knew what her next words were going to be, "is everything all right?" Sighing, Sue Ellen remembered the way things had been over the past year and the past few weeks with Doctor Williams; she needed to say something, keeping things inside her never ended well. "Well yes and no", taking a sip of her iced tea as she paused, Sue Ellen then began to speak, "it's my mother. She called me earlier to discuss her plans for the future, plans she just decided to make a reality, without consulting me or thinking about my feelings or how things would realistically work for us", sighing again, she looked down at the table; it was always easier to explain her feelings when she didn't have to make eye contact. "I'm worried about the way things will be if she moves up here, to Dallas".

Taking another pause, she then continued, encouraged by Miss Ellie's kind expression, "I love my mother, don't get me wrong, but I like the separation we have now. After college graduation, JR bought me an apartment and I loved the independence of having my own place, my mother did not; she was nosy and bossy and couldn't accept that I was an individual who was allowed to make her own decisions. I'm worried that even though I'm a married adult woman and a mother myself now, she'll end up interfering in my life in ways that are more destructive than constructive. I feel like I've made a lot of personal progress and am becoming a more confident, happier woman, but that's not necessarily the case when my mother is around. I'm always on edge, waiting for her to say or do something that undermines me and even when she doesn't and she's perfectly polite and nice, I still can't relax. I don't mind her coming up for weekends and I love that she wants to spend time with John Ross, but I don't know if I can handle her just popping in to check up on me, without warning or reason; I like being an adult, I don't want to go back to feeling like a schoolgirl again". Hoping that Miss Ellie understood that she wasn't really trying to be nasty or take away her mother's privileges as a grandmother, she simply wanted to have her own space, and having her mother and sister in Dallas was a little too close for comfort, she was pleased when Miss Ellie gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Sue Ellen, you're a mother now, but you're still a young mother, you still have your son's whole life to share; your mother doesn't have the same privilege. I know it seem like she's too overbearing sometimes, but that's a sign that she loves you and cares what goes on in your life. If she didn't care then she wouldn't visit or call, or plan to be closer to her family; she may not show it in the best way sometimes, but she loves you and she loves John Ross and she wants to be closer to you two". Temporarily forgetting that they were speaking about Patricia, not her, Miss Ellie was confused by the look on Sue Ellen's face, however, as soon as it clicked in her mind that Patricia's motivations to be in Sue Ellen's life weren't really that similar to her own wishes to be in Gary's life, she scrambled to add a little more. "I understand what you're saying though; you want to be treated like the adult that you are, no matter how much she may not see you that way. It's hard for a parent to let go and it's hard for a parent to stay connected to their child if they don't make a real effort, so I understand where she's coming from too. Have you discussed this with her? She's more likely to take you seriously if you act like an adult and from our conversation right now, I think you're more than capable of expressing your feelings in an articulate manner". Looking at her expectantly, she wasn't surprised when Sue Ellen looked nervously down at the table, "we're flying down to Austin this weekend; that's actually part of the reason why I'm so nervous right now". Feeling sick to her stomach at the thought of confrontation, Sue Ellen sighed and was surprised when Miss Ellie responded with only one word, "we?". Looking at her mother-in-law, she blushed before speaking, "yes, I'm bringing JR with me for moral support… and because he wouldn't allow me to go by myself". It was a little embarrassing to admit that although she kept verbally repeating her wish to be treated like an adult, she also allowed her husband to dictate her actions, even if she secretly enjoyed his protectiveness. However, she was pleased that it was only Miss Ellie she had to explain herself to, she was a kind, understanding and for the most part, non-judgemental woman.

Smiling as Sue Ellen explained she and JR's plans, Miss Ellie kept her inner thoughts to herself; it pleased her that JR was acting so protectively toward his wife, without prompting from his father or other outside forces; he was finally growing up and becoming a man. "I think that's a nice gesture. From what you've described, you may be able to handle it yourself, but that doesn't mean you should have to", remembering how vicious Patricia could be, she was then extra glad that JR was accompanying his wife to Austin; Sue Ellen and her mother needed to talk, but the reality was that a mediator may be needed. If she knew JR though, he wouldn't hesitate to punish Patricia in whatever way he saw fit if she upset Sue Ellen again, and although she respected Patricia on an adult level, she wouldn't be upset to hear that someone had finally put her in her place; she did treat Sue Ellen particularly badly sometimes and it wasn't right. Knowing that Sue Ellen had JR with her to support her, even if she didn't necessarily need him to fight her battles for her, was a blessing and it pleased her to see that JR was taking the initiative to be a good husband, it was about time. "Thank you", keeping her response simple but still sentimental, Sue Ellen thanked her mother-in-law; Miss Ellie was a good listener and she seemed to truly have her best interests at heart, so conversations with her were usually just the reassurance she needed. She was trying to become stronger and more resilient, but it wasn't something that happened overnight, so she was glad to have understanding and supportive people in her life.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Response to guest reviewer Alexia: yes, she's still a little self-conscious about her body, however, JR's positive attention and her therapy are helping her mentally overcome the overwhelmingly negative thoughts, plus, she's still working out; so yes, she's still a little self-conscious, but it's getting better and she is physically getting back into shape :)**


	296. Beggars Can't Be Choosers

**Austin, Texas**

"Mama, why are you being so dramatic? I'm not saying you can't visit or be in John Ross' life, I'm just trying to be realistic about what a life in Dallas would look like for you and Kristin…" Trying to explain her concerns as politely and tactfully as she could, Sue Ellen felt her frustration building as her mother sighed loudly; in a way only she could, Patricia had somehow managed to twist the situation and make it seem as if she were the one being put out by the whole plan. "I'm being dramatic? Really Sue Ellen?" changing tone, moving away from offended and into scolding, as if her eldest daughter were a child that needed reminding of who the adult in the situation was, Patricia scoffed and looked at her contemptuously. Taking a moment to breathe, trying her hardest to not allow the obvious tension to hurt her feelings, Sue Ellen then replied, "mama, I'm not trying to be nasty or hurt you, I'm just being realistic. I live a full, busy life in Dallas, and you and Kristin live full, busy lives here in Austin, but with those busy lives come incompatibility and scheduling issues. The reality is, even if you and Kristin moved to Dallas, we probably wouldn't really see each other much more than we already do, not with the way each of us schedule our events. Plus, it's a bother to pack your whole life away into boxes, move everything to a new location and then start a new life in an unfamiliar place; it sounds nice, but it's not easy, and with Kristin at such a critical age in her development, I'm not so sure major life changes are a good idea right now. I know you want to be around John Ross more often though, and I have no problem with that, you're his grandmother and as long as you respect that JR and I are his parents, we're happy to schedule visits whenever possible, in Austin or Dallas. I really don't think you moving to Dallas is right for any of us though and if you consider the situation as a whole, I think you'd probably agree". Looking at her mother, hoping that she was really listening, not just allowing her to speak, without comprehending or considering anything, Sue Ellen was surprised when instead of responding, she turned her attention toward JR and Kristin.

"Kristin dear, why don't you show Mr Ewing some of your schoolwork; after all, he has a vested interest in your education", needing to get Sue Ellen alone so that they could talk more openly, but also hoping that JR would see the good his money did and would expand his generosity, Patricia directed her daughter and son-in-law upstairs. Hearing the use of the more formal 'Mr Ewing' rather than the usual, casual 'JR', both JR and Sue Ellen looked at each other, silently communicating through eye contact; Patricia was not calm nor happy and was just waiting to get rid of her youngest daughter and son-in-law. Although Sue Ellen was mildly afraid of being left alone with her mother and JR wasn't particularly enthused about the idea either, they both knew that at some point in time, Sue Ellen and Patricia would have to talk. Nodding and giving him a weak smile, Sue Ellen assured JR that she would be fine, she was more confident and invested in asserting herself now, and knowing that even if he left the room, he would still be close by, she wasn't so fearful; so, giving Patricia one chance, JR followed Kristin out of the room. He didn't have any real interest in looking at Kristin's schoolwork, however, Patricia was right, he did have a vested interest in her education, so he may as well check that she was taking full advantage of the resources provided.

Seeing the door close, Patricia wasted no time before launching into a rant, "what kind of daughter are you? I thought I raised you with some sense of familial responsibility and loyalty, but obviously you didn't comprehend nor learn anything from those valuable lessons…", shaking her head in disappointment, or anger, Sue Ellen wasn't quite sure, Patricia then continued to speak. "Actively trying to discourage your mother and sister from moving closer to our family, anyone would think that you don't like us at all. Is that what it is? Do you hate us?" looking directly at her daughter, challenging her to say no, Patricia was angry, but also patient and waiting; her plan was a slow burn and had a few risks, but so far, it was a success, at least on the secondary front. She hadn't expected Sue Ellen to jump for joy at the idea of she and Kristin moving to Dallas, she'd been prepared for that and had planned accordingly, but getting more access to her new grandson and in turn, the benefits of Southfork and the Ewing family, was easier than expected. She hadn't expected Sue Ellen to offer more regular visits, but she wasn't complaining, unless of course, that was Sue Ellen's only offer. What she truly wanted was for JR or Sue Ellen to suggest that instead of upping and relocating their lives, to a new place, a place where she was close enough to bother them, they would offer her a better incentive to live in Austin. Despite having almost run out of eligible prospective husbands for herself in Austin, she actually enjoyed the life she lived there; Dallas was the second best option, but one she was willing to take if it meant more money and benefits. She couldn't simply ask for more money though, that would look greedy and wrong; she needed it to be suggested to her, as if it weren't her idea, even if it was; essentially, she was looking to be bribed, bribed into exactly what she already had, just with access to a little more. By accusing Sue Ellen of hating her, she hoped to evoke her daughter's sense of repentance, loyalty and guilt; she wanted her to feel bad about what she was suggesting and she wanted her to offer her a little more as an apology, and if she knew Sue Ellen, she would do just that; her eldest daughter hated confrontation.

"Hate you? No mama, I don't hate you, actually quite the opposite, I love you, you're my mother and I will always love you, no matter what you say or do to me. That doesn't mean though that I'm a pushover and will just do what you tell me to do or try to guilt me into doing, and from listening to you today, that's what it feels like you're trying to do. You cannot tell me that our relationship hasn't improved since I moved out of this house and into Southfork, with my husband. Do you remember what life was like when I lived here, or when I was in college? We would argue about the smallest, silliest things and we never really spent time together, not the way we do when you and Kristin visit Southfork. I'm respectfully asking you to not rock the boat too much by moving to Dallas, because I don't know about you, but I enjoy the way our relationship is now and I don't want it to regress because we're too close for comfort". Remaining strong and direct but also trying to appeal to her mother's small sympathetic side, she waited in anticipation, hoping for a good response, but knowing that the opposite could also happen.

Hearing her eldest daughter speaking sense and doing it calmly, without getting upset, Patricia was caught off-guard; she hadn't really prepared for a logical conversation, she'd anticipated an emotional fight, one which ended with Sue Ellen feeling bad and wanting to make up to her, thus giving her exactly what she wanted. "Well, yes, I suppose you're right. It is nice for us to visit and spend time together as if it's a special occasion, not just an everyday occurrence, and more weekends together would help me to satisfy my urge to see John Ross more often, but…" deciding to play just as innocent, concerned and sympathetic as Sue Ellen was, Patricia continued. "…well, there's another reason why I wanted to move to Dallas, one that's actually a little embarrassing, which is why I didn't tell you; a mother never wants to have to admit her failures to her daughter…" hoping that she was coming across as pathetic and downtrodden as she intended, she kept talking. "...it all started when your father left us…" spinning a story about the financial woes the Shepard family had been in for at least the past decade, half of which were lies and the other half simply half-truths, she attempted to make Sue Ellen see her in a more vulnerable light. If she couldn't get Sue Ellen to bribe her to stay in Austin, she could at least get her to feel sorry for her and help her out a little more. "…so you see, after you married JR and moved to Southfork, we took a financial hit, despite the fact that JR has been helping us. It's not 1967 or 1970 anymore, things are more expensive, the economy is more volatile, Kristin is older and has more needs; the stipend we're living on is simply not enough to support us, but you know me, I'm a proud woman…" Playing innocent and vulnerable, she hoped Sue Ellen still held some of her people-pleasing personality traits she'd had in the past; otherwise, she was quickly running out of ideas.

"You want money", stating the obvious, unaffected by her mother's pity party, Sue Ellen raised her eyebrow and waited. JR was right, her mother wasn't a very genuine person, she operated on a base level of games and manipulation, and pathetically, she allowed her to. "Mama, I can't sit here and discuss money, not without my husband present; we're equals, but I still feel a sense of submission, just as you taught me to. If you are having financial trouble, you're going to have to ask JR to help you, and you'd better come up with a better excuse than 'life is more expensive now', because with everything else you stated to us earlier, all those things about wanting to be a closer family, he's probably not going to be too easily swayed". Knowing JR was somewhat concerned about what his parents thought of him and how he treated his wife's mother, she knew he would probably be more forgiving of Patricia than he was of a random business acquaintance, however, she didn't want to make it too easy for her mother. She and JR had discussed it before their trip, he was prepared to offer her mother a financial and social incentive to stay in Austin, so it wasn't as if he were going to be completely shocked by her mother's request, but that didn't mean that either of them necessarily believed her mother deserved anything she was asking for. Instead of taking responsibility and getting a real job, she was still asking for handouts and despite the fact that they didn't mind helping her, the arrogance and expectation of such actions was off-putting. Only out of politeness and respect for her elders did Sue Ellen not let her mother truly know what she thought of the situation, but from the look on her mother's face at her second sentence, she had a feeling that her politeness wasn't going to last long. Her mother looked angry and offended and when she was angry and offended, politeness was the last thing on her mind.

To be continued…


	297. Fight

**Austin, Texas**

Having looked quickly over the leftover schoolwork Kristin had kept from last semester, gaining satisfaction that his money wasn't entirely wasted, JR and Kristin quickly ran out of things to do or talk about; the reality was, apart from Sue Ellen, they didn't have very much in common. "Mr Ewing?" using his formal title until she received further instruction, Kristin looked at the man that held so much power over her, despite not really having any real connection to her; she didn't really understand what her mother's game was, and although she trusted her, her trust only went so far. "It's ok, you've called me JR for years, we don't need to regress", holding back from rolling his eyes, JR quickly corrected her and then waited for her to ask whatever she was planning on asking. "JR", nodding respectfully, as she had been taught, Kristin began to speak, "I just wanted to thank you. I know my mama probably doesn't show it sometimes, but we really are grateful for everything the Ewing family have done for us; me especially, I enjoy my private school and I like visiting Southfork. I'm not stupid, I know that you mostly do things because Sue Ellen is your wife and you have a duty to look after your wife's family too, but I wanted to let you know that I do appreciate it". Deciding not to take any chances by letting her mother's words and actions solely secure their social and financial position, she sucked up to her brother-in-law; most of what she said was true though, so it wasn't too difficult to make her words sound meaningful, and from the look on JR's face, she wasn't a bad storyteller. "Intuitive little thing aren't you?" muttering mostly to himself, JR was impressed that even at a young age, Kristin understood the difference between him giving money because he cared and him giving money because he felt a sense of obligation and duty, and deciding to use her intuition and understanding to his advantage, he chose his next few words carefully. "Thank you Kristin, it's nice to know that somebody appreciates my efforts, heaven knows the oil business could use more grateful and understanding people", buttering her up with a compliment first, he then asked her a sly question, "say, did I hear you mention earlier that you were a cheerleader?" She was young and smart, especially in the ways of manipulation and information gathering, however, she wasn't that smart, not in comparison to him, and if he played his cards right, he could have all the information he wanted for only a small price.

Downstairs, things weren't going so well; "how dare you speak to me like that!? JR may be your husband and have authority over you at Southfork, but I am your mother and in this house, I am the authority figure. I didn't have to, but I told you the details of the pitiful life your father left us with when he cowardly deserted us and I explained the unfortunate details of why things were so tough for you growing up. I did that because I wanted you to have a better understanding of why we need help now, and I had hoped that I had raised you with some understanding of empathy and generosity, but obviously, that's not quite how things turned out. Now, I'm not one to get easily offended, but for you to listen to all of the details and then so insensitively reply with the remark that all I'm looking for is money, well, that's not right and you know something, I am offended and I would like an apology". Half playing her daughter for sympathy and kindness and half actually offended, Patricia looked at Sue Ellen expectantly; things weren't at all following the plan she had imagined and she was actually getting a little worried. She had expected Sue Ellen to apologise and ask JR to compensate her appropriately, or simply just suggest helping her out with her problems, but with Sue Ellen's judgemental and unhelpful attitude, she could see her goal slowly slipping away from her and she was not happy. It also bothered her that Sue Ellen had simplified all of her confessions and explanations down to the fact that she wanted money and she was actually a little offended, even if it was true. "How dare I? Really?" hearing the way her mother raised her voice, Sue Ellen snapped, politeness was obviously no longer required. "I'm sorry that daddy didn't leave us with much when he left and then when he died, but that was over a decade ago, you have to stop blaming things on him; he's not here and he doesn't control the money you have. As for that money you do currently have, you should be thanking JR, not begging him for more; he's a very generous man and contrary to what you believe, he's in no way obligated to support you or Kirstin financially, or in any way really. As for your plan to move to Dallas, I imagine that that was nothing more than an opportunistic attempt to up your social and financial position and the fact that John Ross and I are there is really just the secondary benefit". Seeing the look on her mother's face was enough to confirm to her that her assumptions were correct, "that is it, isn't it?" shocked and hurt, she wasn't sure what to say, "I can't believe it… well, actually, I can, but I don't want to. Does family really mean less to you than money and power?" knowing that even JR had a true sense of loyalty to his family, or at least his father, she hoped that her mother was similar, but judging from their past relationship, she wasn't so sure.

"Don't you judge me; I sacrificed a lot for you and you're better off because of it. You're married to a wealthy man, you have the social connections to get ahead and you have a family who love you; you don't understand my perspective or why I had to do what I did. Of course family matters to me, but I have to be realistic about everything else too. Not everyone has the same privileges as you; you'd do well to remember that", glaring at her daughter, Patricia was ready for a fight. "Privilege mama? I know I'm privileged, but that doesn't mean that I owe you anything. You said it yourself, you purposely manipulated me and pushed me into income earning activities as a teenager so that I could make a little money and support our family. I was the child in the situation, you were the adult, you were responsible for making sure that we were looked after, not the other way around, so as far as I'm concerned, I've done my part to support the family, it's time you did yours. If you so desperately want to live the life of a wealthy woman, why don't you marry a wealthy man yourself? There are plenty of single, wealthy men out there, I know, I've dated them; they may be disgusting and unappealing, but they're rich and that's all you seem to care about. Actually, if you ask JR for anything, it could be that; I'm sure he knows some _nice_ oilmen", replying in an annoyed, sarcastic and almost angry tone, Sue Ellen wasn't particularly surprised when her mother replied, raising her voice louder than she had heard her in years, "SUE ELLEN SHEPARD! HOW DARE YOU!" what did come as a complete surprise though was the stinging pain that then overcame her and looking at the floor, she then realised exactly what had happened; her mother had slapped her, just as her husband and younger sister re-entered the room.

To be continued…


	298. Argument

**Austin, Texas**

"Ok, that's it", re-entering the room, glaring at his mother-in-law, more angry than he had been in a long time, JR decided that now was the time to do what he should have done years ago, lay down the law. Taking a moment to check that his wife was ok and recognizing that she was mostly just shocked, not physically injured, he then turned his attention back to his mother-in-law. "You have disrespected me and my wife for years, but no more", pausing to take in the surprised look on Patricia's face, he then continued, a mixture of glee and anger in his voice as he spoke. "We came here with the intention to have a nice, calm conversation about the future, but I can see now that that was a mistake. This isn't going to work; not until you change. Because you know what? You're the problem, not Sue Ellen, not Kirstin, not your former husband or the men that only temporarily fall for your tricks, no, it's all you…" calming for a moment, he turned to his wife, running his hand tenderly along her slightly pink cheek, "darlin', perhaps you should ask Kristin to show you her diorama, it's very impressive". He didn't have much love for Kristin, but the few minutes he'd spent upstairs with her had given him a little insight into the way things were, and even without that insight, he was socially aware enough to realise that the things he really wanted to say to Patricia were probably not things her children should have to hear. Seeing how serious JR was and feeling the love and care he held for her, Sue Ellen didn't protest; she hadn't been able to get through to her mother, but JR was different, she had no doubt that with his current determination, her mother would get the message loud and clear, "you kept a project from last semester? It must be impressive. I'd like to see it", knowing that her sister wasn't stupid, but not wanting to make things any weirder than they already were, she then walked out of the room, her younger sister in tow.

"Let's have a little chat, one we should have had years ago, before all of this started. Firstly, you will never touch my wife that way again, and if I hear or see anything to the contrary, then I will not hesitate to press charges and allow the law to deal with you. Understood?" pausing for a moment and seeing the look in her eyes, he knew she did. "Now, Sue Ellen may be your daughter, but she's my wife, and most importantly, she's a human being with feelings, feelings that are easily hurt. She has been through hell over the past few years, but she's finally getting better and becoming stronger and I will be there supporting her one hundred percent of the time. Part of that support includes taking responsibility for anything I can, and if that means eliminating sources of negativity from her life, then I will do it…" Still glaring at Patricia, he paused, "let me make my position perfectly clear, no more; from now on, you get nothing. If, and I do mean if, if Sue Ellen chooses to allow you to stay in her and John Ross' life, it will be on the understanding that it is happening because you love them and want to spend time with them; otherwise, you will not be in their lives at all. I will not make that decision for Sue Ellen, but I will make my position very clear, to you and to her; I don't think you deserve to be in your daughter and grandson's lives, not after the way you have treated Sue Ellen. I don't think Sue Ellen will be seeing you in a sympathetic light anytime soon either, not until you make a real, genuine, love-driven decision, one that is completely independent from money or social status".

Taking a small pause between sentences, he wasn't the least bit surprised when her capacity for staying silent ran out and she interrupted him. "Who do you think you are? Deciding who Sue Ellen and my grandson can and cannot see; you're just as bad as what Sue Ellen thinks I am", shaking her head, she then pulled her final card, "you know, you really shouldn't threaten me. I'm sure Jock wouldn't be happy to hear that you practically threw us onto the street and Miss Ellie would never approve of a grandmother losing contact with her only grandchild…" still glaring at him, genuinely believing that her words would have an effect on him, she was shocked when he laughed, cruelly and harshly. "You really think that my family don't see you for who you are? They're polite, not blind. Sure, in principle those things would upset them, but when related back to you and your treatment of Sue Ellen, I have no doubt in my mind that their support would be behind me and Sue Ellen, not you".

Knowing that he would never quite get through to her and now feeling challenged to beat her at the threats and manipulation game, he finished speaking, "you made a fatal mistake, you underestimated me and overestimated your own abilities and now it's all coming back to you. I have no problem with generosity, in fact, I enjoy spending money, however, I don't take kindly to being used, manipulated and extorted". Glaring at her, he continued to speak, "there are a few rules I like to live by and in the spirit of giving, I'm willing to let you in on some of those rules; you're probably going to need them once Sue Ellen and I leave today". Grinning, he savoured the look of confusion and horror on Patricia's face as she mentally worked out what was happening. "Don't forgive, don't forget, and do unto others before they do unto you, and most especially, keep an eye on your friends, because your enemies will take care of themselves. Oh, and one other thing; life is a little bit like a poker game, it's good to get caught bluffing early on, because after that, somebody's going to call you when you've got a winning hand… that is of course, unless you're playing with somebody better than you". Revelling in the absolute confusion and fear on her face, he grinned; he loved winning and he knew that he had won, though from his previous experience with Patricia, he knew it would be a while before she truly conceded that he had in fact won. He was prepared for that though and he was ready for whatever argument she was going to throw at him; he enjoyed arguing, as long as he had confidence in his ability to win, and right now, that's exactly how he felt.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: 'JR's Golden Rules' come from the episode **_**The Lady Vanishes**_** written by Leonard Katzman. Their confrontation continues next chapter; it just got a little long, so I cut it into two. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	299. No More

**Austin, Texas**

Annoyed, frustrated and angry, Patricia huffed loudly, none of her imagined plans had turned out as expected and feeling JR's anger, she knew she had messed up. In hindsight, she knew that she should have taken the safe route and politely asked him to help her, gently encouraging him to open their agreement for renegotiation, as she had in the past; in reality though, she had gotten greedy and arrogant, and tried to manipulate her way into more. Whether she liked to admit it or not though, JR was better at manipulation and playing games than she was and her plan had failed miserably. Opening her mouth to respond, she was cut off by JR's hand and quick words, "save it; we're done here. I've made my point clear, you will be getting nothing in the way of financial help from me from now on, so whatever fake grovelling and apology act you were about to pull is unnecessary. As for your role as a member of our extended family, I'll allow Sue Ellen to decide how much or little contact she wants with you from now on, she is the one that is most negatively affected by your presence in our lives. I suggest that before you even attempt to convince her to allow you to participate in her life again that you really look at your thoughts and actions and make an effort to change them… I've heard therapy can really help", not mentioning that he held that opinion because of how Doctor Williams had helped Sue Ellen, he held back a laugh at the look on her face. A woman as conservative, controlled and traditional as Patricia was of the same mind as his father and how he had personally seen things prior to seeing the way Sue Ellen had transformed; therapy to them meant psychiatric help for crazy people, and unable to admit that perhaps it could help anyone, the very suggestion seemed horrific to Patricia. "Oh, and don't even think about trying to contact my parents to complain about what I'm sure you believe is 'unfair' treatment, it won't help your cause and you will regret it in the end". Leaving his statement vague but clear, he then waited for her to say something in response; she never was the type of woman who could just allow him to have the final word.

Glaring at JR, Patricia didn't know what to say; she couldn't apologise, he would just call her insincere, and she couldn't argue, that would only increase his anger, so letting out another annoyed breath, she remained silent, trying to think of a reasonable response. Turning as the sound of the door opening took the attention away from their conversation, both JR and Patricia were actually pleased to have an out; Patricia solely to get the attention off of her for a moment and JR simply because he was just about done with discussing the same things over and over. Seeing the door open and her eldest daughter timidly re-enter the room, Patricia felt a pang of guilt and annoyance; guilt for what she had done and annoyance at herself for believing she was invincible; JR Ewing was right, she was no match for him and now she was paying the consequences for her risky actions. "Darlin'", turning his attention to his wife, JR felt protective; there were many more things he could say to Patricia, but his wife's wellbeing was more important right now. Walking over to Sue Ellen and taking her hand, he then looked her in the eye to make sure she was ok, at least enough to be in the same room as her mother for a few moments, and surprisingly, instead of looking weak and worried, she looked strong and determined, at least while he was standing next to her. Strengthened by the look of love and concern JR had in his eyes and the encouraging thoughts she had learned to repeat from her sessions with Doctor Williams, Sue Ellen gave JR a thankful smile, held onto his hand and turned to face her mother. "Mama, John Ross and I have a busy schedule for the next few weeks, and it's going to take me some time to consider where I want to go to from here after our conversation today, so I'm sorry, but I don't think we'll be able to have you over to visit anytime soon. I'll call you when I'm free and ready though", making it clear that she didn't want to fight anymore and didn't want to be hassled by her mother when she returned to Southfork, she then turned to JR, "take me home", looking at him pleadingly, she was surprised when he kissed her softly, "as you wish. Why don't you go and say goodbye to Kristin, I'll be out in a minute". Watching his wife nod and leave the room, he then turned back to Patricia, "I think that settles it. Sue Ellen will contact you if or when she feels like reopening the lines of communication, but until then, please leave her alone". Nodding and then walking toward the door to leave the room, he paused briefly and turned back to her, "oh, one more thing to make you think about your words and actions. Before coming here today, with a fairly certain idea of what you truly wanted, I had my lawyer draw up two contracts, one that would allow you to continue your lives comfortably here in Austin, and another to assist you in starting anew in Dallas. I'm sure Harve will be deeply disappointed that he won't be getting paid for any more legal work regarding those two documents, except of course, stamping them as null and void. I advise you to think about that next time you consider saying something rude; nasty words and an inflated ego can cost a person a lot, and when a person doesn't have a lot to begin with, the results can be devastating". Grinning as he finished speaking, he then opened the door and walked out of the room, leaving Patricia standing by herself to think about exactly what she had done and what the future now held for her.

To be continued…


	300. Three Hundred

**Austin, Texas**

"JR?" looking at her husband as the Ewing jet levelled and her thoughts moved away from the view out the window and back to what had happened earlier in the day, Sue Ellen spoke. "Yes darlin'", moving over to the bar to make the two of them some large, well-deserved drinks, JR looked at his wife sympathetically as she spoke his name; the day had to have been harder on her than it was on him, so he was there to help her in any way she needed. "What are we going to do with Kristin? She's not necessarily an innocent party and heaven knows I can't stand her sometimes, but spending a little time alone with her did make me feel a little bad for her. No matter how much she wants to pretend that she's grown, she's still really only a child and I can't bring myself to say that she deserves the same harsh treatment as my mother. Now, I don't mean I want to adopt her or simply redirect the money you were sending to my mother to her instead, but I don't want her to end up hating me because she feels like I ruined her life", mostly concerned about that specific possibility, she looked at her husband for guidance. She and Kristin weren't close, but they were closer than she and her mother, at least at this point in time, and although she disliked her mother and at times, disliked her sister, she didn't want to purposely hurt them or instigate drama; she would react and defend herself, but she did not want to be the catalyst. "Why do you think she'd hate you? Did she say something to you?" looking at his wife quizzically, JR was annoyed that Kristin would distrust his promise to not allow her entire life to fall apart just because he was mad at her mother. He didn't hold any particular feelings for his young sister-in-law, but from their conversation earlier and from the simple fact that although he could be nasty and vengeful when he was angry, he wasn't a complete monster, he knew that it wasn't fair to punish her to the same extent that he was punishing Patricia. "No, not as such. It's just, I don't know, I got the feeling when I was alone with her that she was worried. I'm sure my mother didn't exactly tell her her plans and we didn't really detail any of our plans in front of her, so I can assume that even being as intuitive as she is, the lack of facts is probably unnerving for her to deal with", sighing, she took the drink JR passed to her and waited.

"Darlin', your sister is going to be just fine, trust me", speaking with an air of authority, he hoped that she did just trust him and didn't question him. Truthfully, he wasn't quite sure what he was going to do with Kristin from now on, but in exchange for what she knew of Patricia's plan, he had promised that she wouldn't be left to fend for herself. What that meant, he wasn't making any promises about, however, he knew that he'd unintentionally set himself up as the second most important adult in her life, so if Patricia was no longer able to support her as she had in the past, and he intentionally cut off her financial help, he knew it wouldn't end very well for her. Realistically, although Kristin was skilled at manipulating and was well able to hold her own in situations where conflict arose, she was also still a minor and treating her as if she were an adult would all be too much for her at some point. Knowing that and having some social conscience, especially now that he had a child of his own, he knew that he couldn't allow her to live in poverty in the event that Patricia decided not to help herself and kept struggling on a small amount simply to keep up appearances. If requested nicely by Kristin herself, he would take a little pity and find her a nice boarding school, one far, far away from Texas. Patricia didn't deserve anything, but he couldn't quite bring himself to ruin a child's life too, and besides, she would probably benefit greatly from a new life, away from the dysfunction and disparity of her family. That was all still a hazy plan though, he didn't know how Patricia was going to react to his actions or how she would treat Kristin now, so he couldn't really start to make any solid, permanent plans for her, and honestly, he didn't particularly want to either. He was sick of funding their lives, but hearing Kristin speak about her school had somehow affected him and made him realise that by making a promise years ago, back when he was just Sue Ellen's boyfriend, he'd locked himself into a lifetime of commitments, even if unintentionally. He needed a little time to consider his next move, but luckily, he had the advantage in the situation, so he wasn't worried, and if he wasn't worried, then Sue Ellen had no reason to worry either.

Surprised, but encouraged by his tone of voice, Sue Ellen raised her eyebrow and spoke, "do I even want to know what's going on in that mind of yours?" Laughing in response and sitting back down, drink in hand, JR then shook his head, "no, I told you, trust me". Grinning, he then patted his lap and spoke again, "now, unless you want to spend the rest of this flight talking in circles, worrying about your sister, analysing your conversation with your mother and generally just getting frustrated, I suggest you come over here", looking directly at her, he hoped that she took his hint. Leaving her mother's house, she'd been wound up pretty tightly from the energy and reality of their confrontation and although JR found her newfound take-charge attitude appealing, he also realised that she needed a little time to collate her thoughts before she did anything else. However, knowing how she could be, he was aware that although he needed to allow her time to voice her thoughts and vent her frustrations, he also had to put a stop to that process before it went too far. Honestly though, that was fine with him, there were many more things he would rather be doing during their time alone together. "No", shaking her head at the idea of choosing analysation of the past over enjoying the present moment with her husband, she stood, "I like your idea better", walking over to him, she took his drink out of his hand and placed it next to hers on the table before sitting down in her favourite place, his lap. Feeling the shift in atmosphere and emotion, she leaned down and kissed him softly before pulling back, "I love you. Thank you for coming with me today", although she found him exerting control over other people very attractive and appealing, and she knew he enjoyed it too, their morning had been quite a personal confrontation and she wanted him to know that she truly did appreciate his presence and support. "Anything for you darlin', I love you too", knowing that she needed to hear him say those words more often and truly meaning them, he looked into her eyes as he spoke and then kissed her. Allowing their feelings for each other to guide their actions, it was clear to both JR and Sue Ellen that although they'd been through a lot, as individuals and as a couple, they were now strong and happy, and that was all either of them really wanted; things were good.

To be continued…


	301. Happiness

**Dallas, Texas**

Sitting outside in on a picnic rug, under a purposefully placed umbrella to protect them from the hot summer sun, Sue Ellen watched John Ross giggle and react to Lucy as she made dramatic funny faces, and taking in the whole scene, she felt completely content. She and JR were happily married, they had a happy, healthy son, a wonderful extended family, they were financially and socially stable, her best friend was moving back into the area in just a few days and for the first time in years, she wasn't worried at all about her mother's judgement, actions or opinion; everything was wonderful. Lucy felt good too; she enjoyed being around her baby cousin when he was playful and not tearful, and she liked the change that had happened in Sue Ellen in recent months, bringing her back to the kind, happy and non-controlling young lady she had originally met and attached herself to; even her uncle JR was a nicer person now. Of course, there were times where she still felt a little left out or less important, because John Ross was needier and more dependent than she was and therefore, it seemed like everyone paid more attention to him and praised him for tiny accomplishments, however, after the first few weeks of John Ross' life, things started to improve for her. She didn't know whether everyone had just gotten used to the fact that the long awaited Ewing heir was really real and was there to stay, so their overly enthusiastic excitement had died down a little, or whether her family consciously realised how she felt and had decided to make a change, but either way, she didn't particularly care. She was old enough to realise that she wasn't being replaced or punished just because there was another child in the family now, and in a way, it actually pleased her that the family's attention was now split, it gave her more freedom and ageing as she was, she enjoyed the idea of making some of her own decisions. Happier about her home life now and truly loving her little cousin, she was pleased when Sue Ellen made an effort to include her in their activities, it made her feel special and wanted and although she didn't idolise Sue Ellen the same way she had when they'd first met, she was still an important person in her life.

Stopping her goofy play as she noticed John Ross' facial expression change, she then let out a giggle of her own and looked at her aunt, "either he's mimicking me, or he's pooping", and seeing Sue Ellen's reaction, she couldn't help herself from falling into a fit of giggles. There was no way she would have done a sniff test, but to Sue Ellen, it seemed completely natural and logical. In just two short months, she had developed a tolerance for the majority of the less pleasant realities of being a mother, and being the mother of a boy, she had learned the hard way that opening a diaper 'just to check' was not a good idea if she wanted to stay dry, even if she wasn't checking for pee. "Well, unfortunately, I don't think he was mimicking you…" letting Lucy know that she needed to take him inside to change his diaper, Sue Ellen was surprised when her niece stood and followed her. It wasn't that unusual as of late, Lucy, just as much as the rest of the family, loved John Ross and enjoyed spending time with him, but in the grand scheme of things, it was a surprise to see that Lucy wanted to be close to her again. She'd really thought that getting older and becoming more independent, her niece was moving away from seeing her as anything more than her uncle's wife, however, although they'd grown apart over the past year and they'd probably never have quite the same close relationship they'd had when Lucy was younger, things did seem to be improving and that pleased her.

Across town, JR, Jock and Bobby sat in the Ewing Oil boardroom, each sporting a wide grin as they looked over the last quarter's financial records and listened to what their accountants had to say. Despite the worries within the wider oil industry and US economy, Ewing Oil was doing well, and for JR, that news was especially pleasing. He had pushed for Ewing Oil to take a different path to their counterparts; instead of being cautious and worrying about the economy, they were going full steam ahead and pumping as much, selling as much and buying up as much of other, less fortunate companies as they could. The idea of using the misfortunes of other companies to their own advantage wasn't a new one, however, he had been the one to suggest it in this situation and having it confirmed to him and his father that they things were running smoothly and Ewing Oil was still a successful company pleased him greatly. If all went to plan, he really was set to make Ewing Oil the biggest independent oil company in Texas and he knew that would make his father proud, make him a very rich and powerful man and give his son a wonderful foundation and legacy for his future.

Things couldn't have been better in his personal life either; he and Sue Ellen had been back from Austin for a week and in that week, they hadn't heard a peep out of Patricia or Kristin, a reality that he enjoyed very much. In addition to the absence of annoying in-laws, he and Sue Ellen had returned to a good place in their relationship. They enjoyed spending time together, were still very much attracted to each other, she had a more relaxed attitude toward life, she seemed to be in a much better place with her self-confidence and with the news of her college friend moving back into the Dallas–Fort Worth metroplex, she seemed more socially happy. It also helped her confidence and self-worth to see that John Ross had now returned to a somewhat predictable schedule and was no longer crying for what appeared to be no real reason. Knowing that she could calm him, love him and receive love and affection in return had helped her to see for herself that she wasn't a terrible mother and it truly pleased JR to see that his wife was happy with herself and confident in her abilities, because he and everyone else had always known it. Yes, with both his personal and business life going so well, he felt like a very lucky man and he had every intention of keeping that luck going and increasing his and his family's wealth and happiness; he liked his new life and although he'd been cautious about what he was committing to, he now had no regrets.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thanks for the recent reviews and congratulations on three hundred chapters. I never intended to write this much, but the positive feedback, my enjoyment of writing and my inability to be happy with any possible endings I think of has kept the story going. I can see the viewing stats, so even if you choose to not review or comment, thank you for coming back to read every day :)**


	302. Harmony and Balance

**Dallas, Texas**

Planning to bring James to his grandmother's house in Richardson anyway, Paula had jumped at the invitation to spend the day with Sue Ellen at Southfork, especially after hearing that she had the whole house to herself for the day, well, mostly to herself, John Ross and the staff would be there, but that wasn't a problem. "…I love it, I really do. Being back in Texas, even if in a different city from where I've ever lived before, it's wonderful. Everything is so familiar, the food, the stores, the accents or lack of accents, the customs and way people treat each other, even just being able to say I'm a Cowboys fan, that's nice; I feel like I'm back where I belong. Plus, Roger has better work hours and almost no business trips now and with Arlington just a thirty five minute drive from our families in Richardson, there are so many more opportunities to spend time with our families, but also spend time just as our own little family. I am so happy to be home, and I'm happy to be close to you again", smiling widely as she spoke, Paula's emotion about being back in Texas was contagious and with Sue Ellen's general happiness about how her life was, she couldn't help but smile just as brightly. "I'm happy that you're happy, and as a former Miss Texas, UT cheerleader and all-around Texan girl, it makes me extremely happy that your happiness is centred around Texas". Taking advantage of an opportunity to jokingly reference her former ambassadorial status, knowing that Paula truly 'got' what she meant and didn't take the Miss Texas title too seriously like some people she met in general life, Sue Ellen felt tingles of happiness as her friend laughed and then light-heartedly responded in a way that mimicked Sue Ellen's unwavering politeness. It felt good to be around someone that she was completely comfortable and relaxed with because apart from JR and occasionally Miss Ellie, she didn't have many adults in her life that she let see every side of her. Doctor Williams only knew what she told him and he was her therapist, not her friend, he didn't know her personally. She liked her in-laws, but didn't want to completely let go of her inhibitions in front of Jock or Bobby and Lucy was just a child, and as much as she enjoyed chatting with the ladies she worked with at her charity job and occasionally socialising with the DOA ladies, it wasn't the same as being with a true friend.

Sitting on the patio, sipping their iced tea and chatting, mostly about Paula's life to begin with but occasionally about Sue Ellen's, the two old friends were gleeful; everything finally felt right. The fun they'd had together in college had ended at graduation and for both of them, the few years in-between then and now had been a little challenging, but finally, after everything, things had settled and each of them were completely content with their lives. It was a wonderful feeling and it was even more wonderful to be able to share it with a friend, especially a friend who understood the whole timeline of events. Feeling comfortable with her friend and being infinitely grateful that there was no judgement because Paula understood exactly how her mother could be, Sue Ellen detailed the situation and events that had occurred between JR and her mother. Listening, Paula spoke, "it's about time someone said something and put her in her place, in fact, knowing JR, I'm actually a little surprised it took so long; from what I understand, he's not the type of man to allow someone else to dictate his actions, especially not after he got what he wanted out of the deal… you. I understand how he got into the situation, because your mother was a bit of a control freak, especially about who you dated, so in courting you, he had to impress her, but after the wedding, that was generous and she should have been very thankful for the support". Giving her opinion on the situation, she didn't even try to hide her real thoughts; Patricia Shepard was a manipulative schemer who wasn't owed anything by anyone, least of all JR Ewing. She would always maintain that JR Ewing was her second choice for Sue Ellen's husband and she was testing him to make sure that he was suitable and could support her daughter properly, however, it wasn't really that deep; the moment the Ewing name was mentioned, Sue Ellen's fate was secured and sealed. The Ewings had money, Patricia knew that, and with Sue Ellen clearly feeling something strong for Mr JR Ewing and vice versa, they were a perfect match; Patricia had to have known that, but if she did, she didn't make it easy for things to fall into place.

Nodding, Sue Ellen spoke, "I agree; I actually don't even believe JR owed her anything when we were dating. My mother was greedy and purposely obstinate, she knew JR and I wanted a little freedom to explore our relationship and she wasn't truly opposed to us dating, but to give permission freely would have meant that she didn't really benefit. By making life difficult, she found herself being bribed into things that she shouldn't have even really had control over in the first place, but to JR, the money didn't really matter, it was such a miniscule amount to him that it was easier to just give it to her than to argue. I'm not entirely sure how he got roped into supporting my mother and sister post-marriage though, but I know he didn't really mind, not until my mother pushed too far, asking for too much without having anything to offer in return. Cutting her off was the best choice for us… I'll probably end up back in contact with her at some point in the future, but it will be on my terms, not hers. I'm stronger and more assertive now, I won't be pushed into anything, and JR is done with her and her begging; if she wants a relationship based on love and respect, then we'll talk, but anything else is not going to happen". Feeling strongly about her choice and happy to have support behind her decision that wasn't only from the Ewings, Sue Ellen felt confident and happy as she spoke and watching her friend raise her glass, she giggled. "Hear, hear", thrilled that Sue Ellen had finally overcome her mother's controlling nature, Paula toasted her; it was wonderful to see her friend happy and successful and she hoped that the future held nothing but good things for them. "Hear, hear", raising her own glass and clinking Paula's glass, Sue Ellen smiled and sighed happily; everything was good.

To be continued…


	303. Unexpected Visitor

**Dallas, Texas**

"Mr Ewing?" hearing the buzzing of his intercom and then the cautious and confused voice of his secretary, JR pressed the talk button, "yes Diane?" noting a pause between him instructing her to speak and her actually speaking, he knew something strange was going on, and when she did finally speak, his intuitive feeling was confirmed. "I know you're a very busy man today and you specifically requested that I not schedule any meetings for this afternoon, but you have a guest in reception and she's very insistent that she needs to speak to you". Considering the situation, he knew something was going on and it could possibly be messy for he and his family, he hadn't always been the man he was now, however, without the mystery guests name, he couldn't be sure exactly what he was getting into and what response he needed to put forward. "I see… and what is this guests name?" waiting for what seemed like a long time, but he knew really wasn't, he was completely surprised when Diane responded, "Miss Kristin Shepard". Taking a long pause as he comprehended her words, he then pressed the talk button again, "I'll be right out". What his wife's sister wanted from him, he had a fair idea, but the fact that she had come to ask him for it in person instead of just phoning him like her mother occasionally did was a bit of a shock; however, he couldn't say he wasn't impressed, she was a young girl, but she wasn't completely immature.

Walking into the reception area, the first thing JR noticed was the mug of hot chocolate in his young sister-in-law's hands and he was pleased to see that although she was much younger and less business minded than their usual clientele, the secretaries had still given the same Ewing Oil welcome hospitality to her as they would any other guest. "Kristin, how nice to see you today", smiling and trying to act as if the situation weren't completely odd, he welcomed her and then invited her into his office, away from the secretaries curious eyes and eavesdropping ears. Sitting down in the large, comfortable, leather chair that JR waved his arm toward, Kristin looked around the office in awe; she'd always known that JR Ewing was an important man, but the downtown Dallas skyscraper and large, ornate office gave credence to those thoughts; her sister had married a wealthy man, just as her mother had always dreamed. Looking over at the door to confirm that it was closed and they were alone, JR took a seat, looked directly at Kristin and then waited for her to speak; she was a direct talker and he didn't particularly see the need for social niceties when there was no one around to chastise them for jumping straight to the point.

"Thank you for seeing me today…" starting off a little quiet as she got used to the intimidating nature of JR's office furniture arrangement, his chair and desk a little higher and more important looking than her chair, establishing exactly who was in control in the room, she relaxed a little when he softened his expression a little. It wasn't that she was truly afraid of JR Ewing, if she were, she never would've taken this trip, however, it was a new situation for her and even she, a confident young lady, needed a little time to get used to things. Relaxing, she found her voice, "I suppose you want to know why I'm here… or you already know, you're a smart man…" unsure of how much detail he would want to know, she was encouraged by his open hand gestures, waving for her to continue speaking. "I don't blame you for what you did to my mama, she was being greedy and opportunistic and that wasn't fair to you, however, I'm not sure whether you realised that it's not entirely fair to me either. My life over the past few weeks has been hell. She won't stop talking about what a mess our lives are and how she wishes I were already finished my 'geisha training' so that I could put those skills to use to help our family. She makes me feel like it's my fault that I'm not legally old enough to marry and even if I were, I'm not nearly at the point in my social skills or social presence where I could marry the right kind of man. It's awful, there was so much pressure before, but I didn't mind it, that was manageable pressure and I liked doing most of the things she taught me. However, now that I'm no longer enrolled in my private school and we don't have enough money for me to do all of the activities she had planned, she's become irrational and angry and I don't enjoy any of it anymore…" Pausing, she looked at JR and waited for his next direction; she would explain everything in more detail if she had to, but she didn't really want to.

"I see", keeping his response short, JR considered what she had just told him and what kind of life he would be sending her back to if he ignored what was obviously a cry for help. "How did you get here?" changing the subject entirely, he asked a question that he was genuinely intrigued about; surely an airline wouldn't have allowed her to fly unaccompanied without a parental consent form, and even then, an airline ticket was more expensive than what he assumed she had saved up in her piggy bank. "I took a bus…" not going into any real detail, she was pleased when JR nodded and gave her a small smile; he appeared to be impressed by her navigational skills and common sense and satisfied enough with the answer she had given to not ask any further questions. Wondering briefly what Patricia was thinking at this moment in time, JR decided to listen to Kirstin and make an action plan with her before deciding what to do about Patricia. For all he knew, she possibly hadn't even noticed her youngest daughter wasn't at home, it was only two in the afternoon and it wasn't unusual for girls her age to spend time at a friend's house. Pausing after nodding, accepting her answer, he then spoke, "so, what can I do for you today?" wanting her to tell him what she wanted before deciding anything about her future, partially because she could possibly only want something small and partially because he wanted to see how far she might push him, he then waited for her to respond.

Not sensing that he was angry, annoyed or upset by her presence, just intrigued, slightly impressed and perhaps even a little sympathetic, she then softened her expression, showing her most vulnerable self, "I'd like you to help me, in whatever way you see fit". Knowing that he would be more likely to help her and give her the best opportunities if it were something he was willingly doing, not being forced into, she left her opening statement purposely vague and then took a long pause before continuing, this time hoping to show him that she understood his perspective, because being Patricia's daughter, she did. "I completely understand why you wouldn't want to start supporting me and my mama again, she did take advantage of your generosity, I'm mostly just asking for a little compassion, because I know it was an unintentional consequence, but my life has not been good since you and Sue Ellen visited and I don't want to live this way anymore". Nodding, surprised by Kristin's honesty and mature comprehension of and approach to the situation, JR knew that his plan B was now needed. He'd never intended for Kristin to be so harshly affected by his response to Patricia's actions and attitude and he had promised her that he wouldn't allow her to suffer because of his anger and annoyance at her mother. In leaving Austin a few weeks ago, he had made a mental provisional commitment to himself that if requested by Kristin, he would help her; so now that she was here, showing him her vulnerable side and not making any excuses for her mother's behaviour, he knew what he had to do.

To be continued…


	304. Executive Decision

**Dallas, Texas**

"…it is how it is mama, you either take it or leave it. Kristin is happy to go and if you'd let go of your controlling thoughts for a moment, you'd see that it's probably the best thing for her and for her future. Boarding school in New Hampshire will bring her into contact with a completely new group of wealthy classmates and social connections than those she already knows in Austin and will give her a wonderful edge over other students when applying to colleges in just a few years. The school JR has selected and Kristin approves of has a one hundred percent college acceptance rate, offers numerous academic support programs for students and employs only highly qualified and experienced teachers. They also offer a diverse selection of interscholastic sports along with recreational, intramural, and instructional sports during the fall, winter and spring seasons; in addition, the arts are very well funded and the school prides itself on offering a wide range of activities for students to participate and excel in. The campus is in a small, lakeside town with an impressively low crime rate and high quality of life index rating; I promise, Kristin will be well educated and trained for the future you envision for her, so please, just sign the paperwork, it's the best choice for all of us". Nervously wrapping the phone cord around her finger as she explained the situation and change of plans to her mother, Sue Ellen hoped that she was doing the right thing. Sending her sister away from the drama and dysfunction that was present in her life in Texas seemed like the wisest choice, but she knew that sometimes hindsight could offer a completely different perspective and she really didn't want that to be the case in this situation.

After having received a confusing phone call from JR the previous afternoon and then discussing the situation with Kristin on the way from the office to Southfork and then for a good portion of the afternoon, she completely understood and agreed with JR when they spoke with each other alone that evening. They couldn't keep Kristin with them in Dallas, but they couldn't send her home either. What she needed her mother to do now was listen, think and then agree, but she wasn't sure it was going to be that simple; in her experience, nothing ever was with her mother. In applying to colleges when she was in high school, her mother had laid down the law; nothing outside of Texas, nothing too far away from Austin, no co-ed dorm living and if possible, no dorm living at all; if Sue Ellen was 'choosing' to stay in/close to Austin, then she could live at home and commute to college. Listening to her mother, she had applied to six colleges and been accepted into four of them, two with almost completely paid scholarships. Upon hearing the news, Patricia had been thrilled, until she learned the locations; neither of the scholarship funded colleges were located in Austin, one was in Houston and the other was in San Antonio, both less than three hours' drive from Austin, but she wasn't happy with that and therefore they weren't options anymore. Despite the fact that she had allowed Sue Ellen to apply to colleges within the large state of Texas, she'd only ever really intended for her to actually attend a college close to home, close enough for her to be able to watch over her; she liked to be in control and letting go was not something she did willingly. It had taken Sue Ellen over a month, including three campus visits and two meetings with the resident advisor, before she was finally able to talk her mother into letting her live in the dorms freshman year and then the sorority house for the rest of college. Therefore, knowing what she knew about her own college experience, knowing how mad her mother probably was right now and considering that Kristin was much younger than she was at the time she had struggled for independence, Sue Ellen wasn't entirely confident that it was going to be as easy as JR had tried to convince her it would be.

They needed to send Kristin out of state for two reasons though, one, as a check for authenticity to the origin of the request and two, to truly help Kristin as a person. Although they both believed Kristin when she recounted her version of events and didn't doubt the sincerity of her request, they knew they couldn't be too lax in their approach, just in case it was something Patricia had sneakily thought up with the expectation that JR would take pity on Kristin and continue to fund her private schooling in Austin. No, Patricia needed to be giving something up in order to gain something and Sue Ellen knew that control of the situation was something that was important to her, as was ensuring her daughters were successful in achieving the goals she had set for them. So, if she agreed to give up some control in return for the opportunity to better her daughter's life, ticking all of the boxes she had set out originally, only without allowing her to maintain control over the situation, Sue Ellen felt that only then would she be sure that her mother hadn't planned everything. There were other motives behind the decision too though, it wasn't simply to force Patricia into sacrificing her control in order to truly improve her daughter's life; both JR and Sue Ellen wanted the best for Kristin, but they also wanted the best for themselves, and that meant a continued separation of the Ewing and Shepard families. She and JR had only just gotten back into a good routine and emotional place in their relationship and adding an additional child into that equation would not help them. Being in constant communication checking up on Kristin's wellbeing under Patricia's control wouldn't help their relationship either, especially since neither of them particularly wanted to be any more involved with Patricia than necessary.

Kristin was still a child, she deserved a chance to succeed, but that chance wasn't limited to Texas and seeing the benefits of separation, the decision to send her out of state had been easy. There were boarding schools all over the country and for the right price, space for another student could be made, even in early August, just weeks before the beginning of the school year; after considering it, JR had decided that Kristin needed a completely new environment and being a person who was open to anything, Kristin had readily agreed. Putting down some ground rules and expectations before making any promises, the three of them had discussed it and decided to follow through with the plan, JR had then found a beautiful and very highly regarded school in New Hampshire that would accept Kristin's late application, and although it was pricey, it was worth it to him. The freedom of not having to be in contact with Patricia as well as having control over what she could and could not do by way of being in control of her youngest daughter's destiny, away from her influence, was a small price to pay and he was happy to pay it. So, with everything decided, Sue Ellen had then had to make the uncomfortable call to her mother, though she seemed less upset about the reasons why her youngest daughter had run away from home than she was about the fact that she had missed a dance class that afternoon, a class that she was paying for herself. Explaining the situation to her mother and making it clear that it was the best option for everyone, she then waited, and waited, the silence on Patricia's end of the line a clear indicator of her opinion; she was not happy, but she knew she was locked into at least considering it, it was the best choice. Eventually, after pondering Sue Ellen's words for a while, she then spoke, quickly and directly, "…I'll think about it. Send me a prospectus and I'll get back to you with my answer in a few days". She knew that there was really only one option if she wanted Kristin to have the life she had imagined for her, however, never one to concede too easily and annoyed at both of her children, she decided to drag out her decision.

To be continued…


	305. Agreement

**Dallas, Texas**

"Thank you", looking at JR and then at Sue Ellen as she sat in the downstairs office for a group meeting, Kristin truly meant what she said. It still amazed her that her sister who she had never been particularly fond of and her sister's husband who she was sure wasn't particularly fond of her, were being so kind toward her, especially when they didn't have to be. She wasn't an orphaned child, she had a home in Austin, however, she didn't feel comfortable there anymore and it was obvious to anyone who would listen that her home in Austin wasn't the best environment for her; what she was grateful for though was that as well as recognition of her situation, there was genuine help available to her. She wasn't stupid, she knew that JR had his own agenda behind his actions, however, there appeared to be some empathy for her situation in his decision too, and for that she was appreciative. She didn't expect him to support her forever and she had been somewhat understanding of his decision to cross Patricia off of his 'charitable causes' list, but understanding something and being happy to deal with the consequences were two different things, and for her, despite being a strong young woman, life had been difficult since he stopped financing her mother. In going to see JR to ask for his assistance, she had put herself on the line, because if he said no and sent her back home to her mother, then her mother would have been even more upset and angry than she already was and then the situation she had to deal with at home would've been even worse. Luckily though, JR had agreed to help her, and although his help was conditional on her taking responsibility for her academics and personal actions, upholding the standards of the Ewing name and following other general rules he set, she had no hesitations about accepting, especially after seeing the prospectus of the school he had selected for her. She was an independent and confident young woman and although her mother had controlled her entire life up until this point in time, she didn't feel nervous or upset by the prospect of leaving home and moving to a boarding school two thousand miles away; she had asked for the change and she was ready for it, she was excited. Her excitement was tempered though by the knowledge that although they were already planning her new life, it wasn't actually a confirmed plan yet; her mother hadn't signed the paperwork and even trusting that she truly did want the best for her future, a little part of her was worried that her mother would be petty and say no.

Looking at each other as Kristin thanked them for their kindness toward her over the past few days, JR and Sue Ellen knew that the decision that had been confirmed just an hour ago was the right one. Kristin had the potential to grow into a lovely, charming, polite and successful young woman, free from the mental insecurities and silly rules her mother set for her, and with their help, she would achieve her potential. Nodding as he accepted her thanks, JR paused for a moment before speaking, "I've just spoken to your mother and she has agreed to sign the paperwork allowing you to go… on the condition that you follow not only the rules we discussed, but an additional set of rules she puts forward. Now, before you protest, she has told me the sorts of things that they entail and I happen to agree with her; if I had a daughter, I would probably insist she follow the same guidelines. The rules your mother explained to me essentially fall under the 'upholding the Ewing name' rules of behaviour and conduct that we've already discussed and being a proper young lady, I wouldn't expect you to be doing any of the things she insists you stay away from anyway. So, I have accepted her permission and assured her that her wishes will be upheld", not wanting to have to deal with Patricia any more than necessary and actually agreeing with her, he had listened to her, promised her that he would deal with the situation and then taken her words as a victory. He knew that Kristen understood that although she was freeing herself from Patricia's stronghold, she was still a minor and was still required to follow the rules he, Sue Ellen, the staff at her new school, her mother, or any other elder in her life set forward, and she had agreed to do so, he didn't expect an argument. He needed to make his position clear before they moved any further forward though; it was good business practice and good practice in personal relations too.

"She said yes? I can go?" smiling widely as she heard the most important part of JR's speech, Kristin was elated; she liked her friends and her school in Austin, but the opportunity to make more, new friends, participate in new activities, live 'alone', away from her mother, and generally reinvent herself as whoever she wanted to be, excited her. Jumping into the conversation, keen to assert her position of authority too, Sue Ellen spoke, "yes, mama said yes, but Kristin, we're serious, you must follow the rules, behave in an exemplary manner and act responsibly; there's a lot hinging on this opportunity and it won't do anyone any good for this to fail. I empathise with your position, as does JR, so we don't want to have to send you back to live with mama, but believe me, if we get word that you're not acting responsibly and respectfully, then all empathy, sympathy and generosity will disappear and you'll be on your own again. You're lucky that you're young, you have your whole life in front of you and it really is up to you to make the most of the opportunities available to you, so please, listen to us, follow the rules and have a good time, you'll be better off for it". Happy that her sister was happy, but also aware of the responsibility she and JR were taking on and a little nervous about her mother's reaction if anything did go wrong, Sue Ellen spoke honestly and was relieved when Kristin appeared to be listening and comprehending the seriousness of the situation. "Of course Sue Ellen", keeping her response short and sweet but silently adding that she wasn't stupid and wanted a good future for herself just as much as everyone else did, just without the pressure her mother was putting on her recently, she then smiled and thanked her sister and brother-in-law again. In a way, although she'd had to put up with a lot of not so nice things, she was grateful, because from everything described to her and the promises that were made to her provided that she behaved correctly, she foresaw a wonderful future for herself and she truly was excited. "Good", nodding, happy with her response and keen to get their meeting over and done with and his young sister-in-law out of his life again, JR responded in a brief manner and then explained what the plan for the next few weeks was, and after getting an agreement from Sue Ellen and Kristin, he then adjourned their meeting. The sooner he could get Kristin and Patricia out of his hair, the better; he wanted his happy, uninterrupted life with Sue Ellen back and he would do whatever it took to get it.

To be continued…


	306. Plans

**Austin, Texas**

Walking through the airport arrivals gate, Kristin's stomach dropped; her mother was waiting for her and although she didn't look angry or upset, she also didn't look happy, and knowing her mother, a neutral expression scared her almost as much as an angry one; neutral meant that she was displaying a public façade, but was struggling to maintain it. "Kristin, lovely to see you again dear", as Patricia greeted her daughter with polite words that unfortunately lacked any genuine warmness, Kristin's thoughts were confirmed; her mother wasn't happy and that was a scary situation to be walking into. Luckily, the orientation for new students at her new school was just a week away, then she was set to officially move in to her dorm room the weekend after that and classes were scheduled to start the following Tuesday, the day after Labor Day. She found comfort in the fact that she only had to survive another eight days with her mother before she could leave again; she would return briefly to Austin after her orientation to really pack her things, but after that, she would officially be a boarding school student, free from the constant pressure her mother put her under. She didn't have a problem with following her mother's social rules or working toward the goals her mother had set, however, it was too much pressure and negativity to be around her all the time now. It had been different when she had JR's money to help her, but now that she was fending for herself, there was a lot of hostility and misdirected anger in the Shepard house and Kristin didn't like dealing with that. Having confessed her fears to Sue Ellen before boarding the plane, she tried to put on a brave face though; acting anything less than polite and submissive to her mother's wishes wouldn't do her any good and she knew it. She did hope that her mother would eventually come around though, especially since the situation wasn't actually a bad deal, not really. Yes, Patricia was losing the tight control she had over her youngest daughter's life and she was no longer receiving regular payments from JR, however, although not a rich woman, she also wasn't a poor woman; she was completely middle class and the money she did have would be fine for her to live as a single woman.

Patricia Shepard was a gold-digging snob who was never happy with what she had and always wanted more, however, what she did have was nothing to turn her nose up at; she'd married a man who was firmly middle class and when he wasn't drinking, was a dependable and responsible person who had the good sense to plan financially. Thanks to her husband's sober dependability and financial planning skills, she and her daughters hadn't been left to beg on the streets after he left her, or later, after he died. Luckily for the remaining members of the Shepard family, the life insurance policy he had been paying into meant that not only was the mortgage on their family home paid in full upon his death, but the lump sum payout was a reasonable amount to support their family for a while, provided that it was correctly budgeted. Being very aware of monetary matters, Patricia had been able to stretch the life insurance money a long way and as soon as Sue Ellen was old enough to start competing in pageants that had larger prizes and modelling for a bigger, more popular agency, she had directed her toward those activities. Building Sue Ellen's personal skills, public presence and financial worth were three of her goals and the day she finally saw her daughter marry the wealthy JR Ewing, she knew she had succeeded. Kristin was a little younger than Sue Ellen was, so she'd had to do some financial recalculations in the meantime, however, she'd always intended for her to follow in Sue Ellen's footsteps, and getting to the age that she was, it was just about time for her to really start the process of making herself into the ideal woman. Allowing her to move two thousand miles from home was a risk, a big risk, but with JR Ewing's assurance, knowing her current situation if she kept Kristin in Austin and from looking at the school prospectus, she knew she was doing the right thing, even if it was hard to let go. With Kristin provided for away from home, she had less bills and more time to work on a plan to improve her own social and financial status and she intended on doing just that. Sue Ellen had jokingly suggested that she marry a wealthy man herself, even one that she wasn't remotely attracted to, and although that had been something she hadn't ever really considered, she did have a few standards, it now didn't seem like such a terrible idea; love wasn't everything. However, knowing that decisions made in haste often resulted in a lifetime of regret, she decided to simply focus on her and Kristin's lives for now, everything else would happen in due course.

**Dallas, Texas**

"…father's name?" sitting next to the young, unmarried woman and her newborn son as they filled out the required forms, the nurse wasn't particularly surprised when she received the reply, "no father", it did surprise her however when she kept speaking "…not yet anyway". Crinkling her forehead in confusion at the statement, she decided not to question her, it wasn't really her place and she had a feeling that the young woman would be just fine on her own, even if her son were currently fatherless. "Fine", giving her a warm smile, she then stood and turned, "a doctor will be with you and baby John soon and as long as they give you the all clear, you should be able to go home this evening", walking toward the door, she then left the room, leaving the young woman and her baby alone. "Did you hear that little John? We should be going home tonight", excited to be a mother, even if she had no idea who the real father was or how she was going to survive if JR Ewing didn't go along with her plan, the young woman held her newborn son's hand and leaned down to place a soft kiss on his forehead. "You'll have a good life, I'll make sure of it", content to just hold his hand and enjoy this time together, before things inevitably turned into a crazy mess, she reassured him and then watched as he drifted off to sleep again.

To be continued...


	307. The Joy of Parenting

**Arlington, Texas**

"I had a wonderful time tonight, thank you for inviting us", leaning in to give Paula a farewell hug, Sue Ellen meant every word she said; she was genuinely happy with the way her life was, it was nice to have adult friends, another couple to socialise with, and it felt wonderful to be in such a good, strong marriage. "Yes, I agree. We must do this again soon", directing her comment at both JR and Sue Ellen, Paula was thrilled when Roger shook JR's hand and reiterated her feelings without any prompting; as Sue Ellen did, she too found it wonderful to have adult friends and seeing that her husband appeared to feel the same way, the situation appeared promising. Agreeing and making tentative plans for another dinner date sometime soon as well as extending an invitation to the upcoming Ewing barbecue, JR and Sue Ellen then said their final goodbyes before leaving Paula and Roger's home. Holding his liquor better than his wife, JR insisted on driving home, though as Sue Ellen happily chatted about their evening, audibly a little tipsy, his concentration began to slip, both from the alcohol he'd consumed and the love and desire he felt for his wife. At the rate his mind was working, they'd end up in a car accident before they got anywhere near Southfork; he couldn't concentrate on the road, not when his wife was right there, happy, sexy and free from parental responsibility for the moment. So, pulling off the interstate, he followed a conveniently placed sign and before Sue Ellen noticed or thought to question what was happening, they were parked outside a small, romantic boutique hotel and he was opening her door for her. Giggling as she finally caught up to his thoughts, Sue Ellen was not at all upset when almost immediately after assisting her out of the car, he pinned her up against the passenger door and kissed her; their connection was romantic and fun, like it had been when they were first dating and that was a wonderful feeling. Aware that they were in a public area, even if it was dark and deserted, JR pulled out of their kiss as it began to get increasingly passionate, "spend the night with me". Making his words into a statement rather than a question and ignoring the fact that they were married, in love and completely committed to each other, he looked her in the eye and waited for her answer, and when she leaned up, kissed him gently and then took his hand, waiting for him to lead her, he had his answer.

Awaking on Saturday morning, in an unfamiliar room, with a slight headache, Sue Ellen's confusion was relieved when she felt JR moving slightly and the wonderful memories of the previous evening came back to her. It had been lovely to have dinner at Paula and Roger's house and it had been unexpectedly and wonderfully romantic when JR had interrupted their drive home with a detour. She didn't _need_ spontaneity in her life, but she did love when it occurred, especially since JR's time was so precious and often inflexible, it made the rare occasions where he did act impulsively so much more precious. Gently slipping out of bed and walking into the bathroom, she freshened up a little before returning to the bedroom and getting back into bed next to her husband, lying down on her side so that she could watch him sleep; he always looked younger and more relaxed when he was sleeping and she enjoyed seeing that side of him. Happy and relaxed by the knowledge that John Ross was in good hands with Miss Ellie at Southfork, as she'd insisted that they needed adult time and there was no need for them to rush home to check on him, Sue Ellen decided to take her mother-in-law's words seriously and really take the time to enjoy her husband this morning. It wasn't often that they had the opportunity to be completely alone like they were now and she really wanted to enjoy it while she could. Watching him sleep for a while, relishing in the peaceful look on his face, her thoughts turned elsewhere as he changed position, rolling closer to her, reminding her just how much she loved him, physically as well as emotionally, and knowing that he never objected to waking up happy, she made her move, slowly sliding her hand under the covers.

**Dallas, Texas**

Arriving back at Southfork, happy, refreshed, satisfied and relaxed, JR and Sue Ellen were pleased to see that John Ross was still a happy little boy and their night away from home hadn't had any lasting effects on him. They didn't plan on ever intentionally being away for him for too long, not when he was so young, but it was good to know that he was adaptable and happy to be looked after by his grandmother and the baby nurse for a while before his parents returned. Home now though and completely ready and willing to act in a parental way again, they quickly settled in to enjoying their son's playful mood and developing curiosity about the world around him. It was a joy to be a parent, to be there to experience him growing and developing and to be a major part of who he turned into, and although it was a big responsibility, it was also very rewarding and neither of them would have had it any other way.

Across town, the joy of parenting wasn't so obvious to Miss Cynthia Moore; of course she loved her son, there was never any doubt about that, however, without help from her parents, her son's father, whoever he was, or anyone else, she was beginning to feel as if she were going crazy. For the moment, she was lucky enough not to have to worry about her living situation, thanks to an ex-boyfriend who had taken pity on her situation and had offered her a place to stay, in exchange for her housekeeping services and _other_ favours. However, now with a baby that cried every time she put him down and a body that had been to hell and back and physically showed it, she wasn't sure how much longer her current situation would last. Part of their agreement had been a promise that her parenting wouldn't affect their arrangement, as well as an understanding that since he was not the child's father, he wouldn't be expected to take responsibility as if he were; now though, exhausted, emotional and in need of help, she wasn't sure those were commitments she could stick to. She'd been a little hesitant about blackmailing a man as powerful as JR Ewing, she didn't exactly have proof and she was the weaker party in their negotiation when assets and social power were taken into consideration. However, it wasn't impossible that the doctors could have been wrong about her date of conception, they only guessed it based on her previous menstrual cycle, they weren't psychics, so, for all either of them knew, he was the father of her son and she had every right to ask him for support. The doctors at the clinic and hospital assured her that her medical records were completely confidential, so unless he wanted to go through a potentially public court process to disprove her claim, blackmail was worth a try. From what she had read, he was a happily married man and she couldn't imagine that he would really risk his good life just to prove her a liar, especially since it was a fact that he had slept with her, whether it resulted in her son or not. She didn't want him to leave his wife and she didn't even particularly want him to have marriage problems, all she wanted was a little monetary support for her son; surely that wasn't too much to ask for.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Wow, so much feedback on the last chapter :O Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	308. Contact

**Laconia, New Hampshire**

"So, are you excited?" knowing that she was reaching with the word 'excited', Sue Ellen asked anyway, all she really wanted to do was prompt her younger sister out of the quiet, reflective mood she had been in since they'd left Louisville after refuelling the Ewing jet. Although Kristin was a confident young lady, she was also probably very nervous and a little apprehensive right now, it was only natural, she'd never been in such a different situation before; however, with the outgoing personality Sue Ellen knew Kristin possessed, she had no doubt that the nervousness would disappear once she familiarised herself with her new surroundings. Snapping out of her inner thoughts, Kristin noticed that they were coming in to land, and although she was a little nervous, she answered with a broader, more honest answer, "nervous excitement. I'm looking forward to the orientation events, moving in next weekend and starting classes next week, but I'm also a little worried that I'll do something wrong and disappoint everyone". Looking down as she spoke more openly with her sister than they usually did, she was pleased when Sue Ellen quietly reassured her that as long as she tried her hardest and behaved as she knew she should, no one would be disappointed in her. It was nice to know that she had someone in her life that understood that perfection wasn't an easy goal and the pressure was hard to deal with sometimes, and it was nice to have reassurance that she would be fine. Deep down, she was confident and excited, but the situation she was walking into was a little intimidating and she did need the encouragement Sue Ellen was giving her.

As they landed at the small airport and exited the Ewing jet, transferring to the chauffeured vehicle that was waiting for them, Sue Ellen was pleased as she observed her younger sister, she looked happy and excited and it confirmed to her that they had definitely made the right choice. It would be good for Kristin to get away from Texas for a while and the controlled and enriching environment her new school offered was the perfect location for her to work on discovering her own interests and planning goals for the future she wanted for herself, not just what their mother wanted. Everything would be just fine, she was sure of it now.

**Dallas, Texas**

"Mr Ewing?" knocking on the door, Diane entered when JR told her to; "this just arrived for you. There is no return address or sender information", giving him the information about the envelope before he had a chance to ask, she then handed it to him and left the room. Intrigued by the mystery package, JR wasted no time in opening it, though as he saw what was inside, he really wished he hadn't. _'Congratulations on the birth of your son'_, seeing the words printed on the card, he hoped that someone was just three months late with their well wishes on John Ross' birth, however, he knew that was wishful and delusional thinking, especially when a photograph fell out of the card. Feeling ill, everything suddenly became very real, in the worst way; after almost two decades of playing the field before finally settling into a happy, monogamous life, complete with one wife and one son, his past actions were now coming back to haunt him. In all his years of 'enjoying female company', very few times had he had this kind of thing happen to him; he was smarter than that, he knew what the Ewing name meant and what was at risk if he didn't protect himself from manipulation, blackmail and the consequences of being close to women who enjoyed a similar lifestyle. Because of that knowledge, with very few women did he not use protection, and combined with his commitment to his wife over the past few months and recollection of only one encounter where he'd not followed his own rules, always maintain control and always use protection, there was only one woman, girl really, that the envelope could have come from.

If it hadn't made him feel so uneasy, he would have found it ironic that after almost two decades of acting exactly as he pleased, only now did his actions seem to have consequences. The timing couldn't have been worse and it was almost karmic when he thought about it, as if some higher power had finally gotten around to looking at his file and had decided that his apology and changed attitude toward Sue Ellen simply weren't enough and he needed to try harder. It wasn't at all what he wanted to deal with right now, but it was a very real situation, for he, his marriage, his career, his public image and his relationship with his family, and he had to deal with it. Although there was a chance that he wasn't the father of the baby in the photo, the girl was obviously an easy lay and could have been with dozens of other men, there was also a chance that he was, so he couldn't just ignore the situation, it wasn't something that was just going to go away. The whore who had infected both he and Sue Ellen with chlamydia had almost ruined their marriage for good once, they'd managed to get over that situation and move on though, but now she was back and on the brink of breaking the relationship again and the thought of that made him angry. Unfortunately, as vividly as he recalled the immediate consequences of their actions and the effort it had taken to get Sue Ellen back on his side afterwards, he had no real recollection of the night they'd spent together and had no knowledge of the surrounding circumstances, a fact that he hated. He hated that he wasn't in the position of strength in the current situation and he knew that he had to do something about that before he made any move to respond; he couldn't and wouldn't move forward blindly, that wasn't who JR Ewing was; so, picking up the phone, he dialled a familiar number. If he were going to come out on top, then he needed more information, luckily for him, he was JR Ewing and he had the means to get the information he wanted when and where he wanted it.

To be continued…


	309. Information

**Dallas, Texas**

"Cynthia Moore, born August 13th 1950 in Fort Worth, Texas to parents Oliver and Stella; no siblings, middle class family. She completed three years at NTSU before withdrawing unexpectedly one week into the fall semester last year; it would have been her senior year and she would have graduated in May if she hadn't dropped out. Because of that though, most of the students she socialised with are no longer on campus and asking around, not many people remembered her other than in vague recollection of her reputation as a bit of a party girl and for lack of a better phrase, easy to bed. The two months between August and October last year were very difficult to find any information on, but looking through the public records of all counties surrounding her parents' home, the college and the bars you mentioned visiting that evening in December, I found two arrest records; one for solicitation of prostitution and the other for burglary. The burglary charge was dropped, however, for the solicitation of prostitution she paid a $350 fine and now has that charge on her record. Both of those events occurred between November and December of last year, prior to _meeting _you. Then again, after December of 1971, it's almost as if she dropped off the face of the earth, only to reappear a few months later, this time seeking medical attention at a non-profit clinic. From about February onward, her routine becomes quite predictable, returning to the clinic every few weeks over the next few months and socialising and living with but not resuming a full romantic relationship with a man that appears to be an ex-boyfriend. From what I gather, her withdrawal from NTSU also coincides with the last time she made contact with her parents, so unless they found out from someone else, they are unaware that she was even pregnant, let alone that she's now a mother, a mother who is attempting to extort something out of you". Pausing as he relayed the information, Harry McSween then continued, this time giving a more personal view of the issue rather than a factual one, "she's smart though, she hasn't made it clear yet exactly what she wants from you, and by that small action, or inaction, she hasn't actually involved herself in a crime just yet. My guess is that she wants you to be intrigued and ashamed enough by the supposed illegitimate child that you'll call her to find out how you can buy her silence, though she'll package her request as something much nicer in the beginning. I wouldn't be surprised at all if she attempts to hook you in with a sob story about the child's wellbeing and then feigns guilt at the thought of your wife finding out, so she'll _reluctantly_ accept a monthly cheque and stay quiet to give you and your family the life you deserve. Of course, she could take a completely different approach, however, I'm no stranger to these type of situations and this seems fairly typical of attempted blackmail; it would pay for you to keep that in mind as you work out exactly how you want to approach the situation. I can bring her in on extortion or blackmail charges depending on her next demands, however, you'll probably need to communicate with her for that to happen, and there's also the child to consider…" He didn't necessarily want to assume that the child was JR's, because from the information he'd gathered, Cynthia was far from frigid, so it was entirely possible some other man was the father of her child, however, she was connecting JR to it and that could get messy if it did become public knowledge, even if it weren't true.

Listening as Harry McSween spoke, JR felt ill; in the past, blackmail and extortion would have almost excited him, he loved gaining the upper hand and then watching the other person crash and burn when he came after them, but this was a little different. He and Sue Ellen were happy, John Ross was thriving, his father was pleased with him and he was genuinely enjoying the way his life was going, but the letter from Cynthia, connecting him to a child that could very well be his, had just thrown a huge spanner in the works. He didn't want it to be true; he wanted another child at some point in the future, yes, but with Sue Ellen, not illegitimately with some whore who had not only given him an STD, but had then had the gall to come after him for what he assumed was financial gain. Things were a mess and for the first time in a long time, he really wasn't entirely sure how to deal with a problem. "Thank you Harry", pausing for a moment as he thought about what to say or do next, he then verbalised his thoughts, "I suppose I have no real choice but to contact her, or alternatively, wait for her to contact me, but I'd really rather do it on my terms…". Nodding, Harry spoke, "yes, however, before you do that, as an officer of the law, I do think that it's probably best for you to contact your lawyer if you're going to start a negotiation, just to get a second opinion about the legality of your actions and reactions. I can handle any charges when she does demand 'compensation' or hush money, but your lawyer will be able to advise you on your rights and responsibilities, especially those toward the child. He may not be yours, and if he isn't and she publicly tries to claim he is, then I can have slander added to the list of charges, however, even before that, your name isn't on the birth certificate, so you may need to file a different set of paperwork to get the child tested. As far as I'm aware, to establish paternity on a biological level is medically possible, however, it's not widely used and you may need to get your lawyer to make the right connections before you can access those resources. Your lawyer will be able to advise you much better than I though, so please, I know you want to keep this quiet, but your lawyer is bound by confidentiality, so you needn't worry about it becoming public knowledge because of him". Nodding at Harry, JR sighed and agreed; if possible, he would like to settle with Cynthia without having to use the law, but he understood where Harry was coming from and that it may come to that if she wasn't cooperative with his negotiations. "I will. Thank you Harry", standing, he showed Harry to the elevators and then headed back into his office, he needed a little time alone to think before he decided what move to make next.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: $350 in 1971 money is around $2000 in 2016 money and according to a Texas law website I found, that is about the amount someone would be fined for solicitation of prostitution.**


	310. Rights and Responsibilities

**Dallas, Texas**

"Have you spoken to your wife about this?" looking at JR, trying to withhold his personal opinion from appearing in his response to JR's questions, Harve Smithfield waited for his response and when JR shook his head and mumbled the word "no", he wasn't particularly surprised. Of course he hadn't thought to be open and honest with his wife before consulting his lawyer, his natural response was always to think factually and economically before thinking empathetically; profits before people had helped to build Ewing Oil into the company it was today, unfortunately though, this wasn't really about Ewing Oil, at least not directly. Sighing, Harve spoke, "I know you don't want to, and legally, you don't have to, but there's a chance that the media may get wind of this story and I think we both know Sue Ellen would be devastated to find out from a newspaper rather than her husband himself. I strongly recommend as both your lawyer and as a family friend that you speak to your wife about the situation and if at all possible, bring her over to your side", trying to be non-judgemental, he made sure to get his point across before moving on to the more legal aspects of the situation. If it did become public knowledge, which was a possibility in the case that either JR or Cynthia filed a legal case against the other and the court documents were a matter of public record, or the press did somehow pick up on the story, it would only help JR to have his wife on his side, legally and emotionally.

"Noted. Now, can we please discuss the rest of this?" not entirely sure that he would tell Sue Ellen anything, at least not until he was sure of more facts, JR nodded and waited for Harve to move on. He wanted and needed to know where he stood and what his next move should be, he wouldn't just sit around and wait for something to happen, he needed to make the next move, he needed to assert his authority and power, but before he did that, he needed to know his legal rights and responsibilities. "Yes, of course", listening to JR's tone of voice, Harve switched straight back into lawyer mode, temporarily leaving his empathetic side behind; "first things first, your name is not recorded on the child's birth certificate, this can be both a pro and a con for potential fathers, however, in this case, it's more of a pro than a con. By leaving the father's name section of the birth certificate empty, not establishing any man as the father of her son, Miss Moore has made it more difficult to demand financial support from whomever she later tries to claim is the father, whether it is you or any other man. Establishing paternity of a child with unwed parents, especially after the paperwork has already been filed, is a more complex process than if the mother named the father at the initial signing of the birth certificate; this is good news for us, Miss Moore is in the weaker position now. If she wishes to ask you for child support, or in the unlikely case, you wish to ask for visitation rights, paternity must be proved or agreed upon by both parents, and if it is not, either party has the opportunity to counter the others claim. That brings me to my main point today; Miss Moore has not yet demanded anything from you, therefore, due to a lack of evidence, we cannot proceed with filing charges of blackmail, extortion or anything else just yet. However, we may begin gathering our own evidence to use in the event that she does make social and/or financial demands or threats. Ordinarily, I wouldn't recommend you respond to any correspondence that implies a threat or is written purposely to bait you into offering a bribe, however, with the action I would like to move forward with until such contact does occur, we cannot act alone, so we must make contact, and doing so on our terms maintains our upper hand. The action I want to take is getting a HLA blood test done, this will tell us exactly what kind of situation we're working with. The test requires a blood sample from both the presumed father and the child in order to establish or disestablish paternity though, and unfortunately, without permission from the child's mother or a court order, we cannot obtain the other sample. Therefore, although I don't like the idea of involving yourself in a situation that has potential for blackmail, I recommend that you respond to Miss Moore's letter in a polite, non-threatening and non-implicating way. Remember, all we want right now is to find out what she is looking to gain and why she believes she has the right to ask for such a thing; we want to gather enough information and evidence to build our case; we do not want to start an argument or push her to make any risky decisions". Pausing as he finished part of what he wanted to say, he then waited for JR to nod as a sign of understanding before he moved on to present him with his range of options.

"Now, I can draft a written response for you, or you may write one and I'll check it before you send it, or, alternatively, you can just go ahead and start legal proceedings against her. I can file a Petition to Adjudicate Parentage this afternoon if you would like; that would eliminate any need to speak with Miss Moore personally and would establish a legal request that she submit her son for blood testing to establish paternity before filing for any benefits from you. This is the most official way to do things, however, you must know that since making a personal dispute into a legal one is an official process, you will be giving up some control of the situation, including your right to complete confidentiality. What I mean by that is although the details of the case will not be made public, the case number, names and legal issue will be identified and will be public records, available for any potential snooping journalist or member of the public to find; so you need to think very carefully about which action you want to take today. With what you're telling me, although the dates are a little misaligned, there is still a possibility that you are the father of that child and although the blood test may completely disprove that, it may also prove it, and you need to be prepared for the consequences of such a link. If paternity is established, you will have legal responsibilities towards the child; child support, insurance coverage etcetera; but you also have legal rights, visitation, custody, educational choices, religious choices, things like that; I urge you to really consider each of these before making your decision about how to proceed today". Doing his duty as a lawyer, Harve explained what JR's options were and that it was his decision which path they took, however, as both a lawyer and a friend of the Ewing family, he hoped that JR listened to him and decided to attempt to negotiate and settle out-of-court; it really seemed like the best option right now.

Staring out the window of Harve's office for a few moments, JR considered everything that had been said and what his options were. Harry was working on obtaining a copy of Cynthia's medical records, however, that was an illegal action, so even with the information they would provide him with, he wouldn't actually be able to use it to his advantage. The fact was that despite not wanting any of it to be real, there was a possibility that it was, and he needed to consider what would happen to his life if that was the case. He had signed a contract with his father guaranteeing his good behaviour in exchange for ownership and control of Ewing Oil, and despite the fact that his mistake had occurred before the signing of the contract, he wasn't sure his father would see things the same way as he, especially not when it was about to have current consequences. What he wanted was for the tests to be done in a private, confidential setting, without the possibility of public record, consequence or reveal, so if a legal, but out-of-court negotiation between he and Miss Moore was possible, then he would rather do that than force their case through the court system and most likely, through the press too. He didn't want another child, not right now and certainly not with some filthy, manipulative whore, however, the fact was that he was being faced with a situation that was not just going to disappear and he needed to tackle it head-on, and if that meant entering a negotiation, even if it wasn't fair or right, then he would.

"No, no Petition to Adjudicate Parentage. I don't want this to be public knowledge and I don't want this to be something I have to secretly deal with for the next eighteen years if's proven that I am the father of that child. I want you to set up a time for blood tests and then a meeting, a negotiation. Make it clear that I will pay for the blood tests; if she truly wants something from me because she's sure that I'm the father, not because she's just playing me, then she has no reason to say no. We will establish paternity and what that tramp wants, and if it's proven that I am in fact the father, then we will settle for a relocation of mother and child, out of Texas, never to return again. Confidentiality contracts and a waiver to any future claims will be signed, no exceptions. Now, if the paternity test proves that she is lying and playing games, I will be very angry that she put me through all of this, so in addition to setting up an appointment, I want you to research what the harshest punishment I can legally dole out. Nobody attempts to blackmail JR Ewing and gets away with it". Speaking coldly and seriously, he gave his instructions and then waited for Harve to acknowledge them; he couldn't exactly tell his lawyer that he had no qualms when it came to illegal acts of revenge, so he tried to make it clear that he was serious and wanted a serious solution to the situation. Nodding, Harve comprehended what JR was saying, "a meeting, a blood test and contracts to cover every possible outcome", speaking and then mentally calculating how long it would take him to get things in order, he then finished his sentence, "I'll have the letter written and sent by tomorrow. I'll have it served to her personally; it's not a court summons, but it's a legal document requesting her presence, it's allowed. Shall we say next Tuesday morning for the blood test, Wednesday afternoon for the meeting? I'll have the lab prioritise the tests so that we can get the results quickly, and the paperwork will be completely ready and finalised by then. How does that sound?" waiting for JR to agree or counter his idea, he was pleased when he just nodded and mumbled a few words of agreement, "good, I'll have my secretary notify your secretary of the details, discreetly of course". Sighing at the realisation that he was really having such a conversation, JR agreed, shook Harve's hand and then left; he wasn't happy, but he couldn't do much about anything right now, not until he had the facts and was sure that he held the power in the situation.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Hopefully that all makes sense and is correct; I did a small amount of research to make sure I wasn't completely off-base, but I'm not a lawyer, so please excuse anything that isn't quite right.**


	311. Making an Effort

**Dallas, Texas**

"Is something wrong? You seem stressed", lying in bed next to her husband, Sue Ellen could feel him tossing and turning; he was restless, something was on his mind. "Nothing's wrong darlin'. I'm sorry I'm keeping you awake, I'll try to be more still from now on", making a promise he wasn't sure he could keep, he hoped that she just accepted his answer, because there was no way he was going to tell her why he couldn't sleep. "JR…" a little confused and hurt by the way he had brushed off her concern, it was evident in her voice that she was upset and hearing her tone, he immediately felt even worse than he already did. He'd gotten word from Harve earlier in the day that Cynthia had been served with a the request to bring her son in for a blood test to establish JR's possible paternity and then to attend a meeting with he and Harve the next day. He didn't want to see her again, he didn't want a reminder of his past mistakes and he didn't want to have another son, not with another woman and not in the context that everything had occurred. He loved Sue Ellen and he really had grown into a better man over the past nine months, so to have it hanging over his head that it could all come crashing down around him soon worried him. He didn't want to lose his wife and son, he liked his life as it was, but he knew that Sue Ellen was not a weak woman anymore, she wouldn't just accept his cheating and lying and she certainly wouldn't accept that he had another child, especially a son. Then there was the problem of Ewing Oil and his relationship with his parents; his father would be furious if he found out about this situation and that would mean bad things for him in his personal life and his business life, and if he didn't have Ewing Oil or a family, then he really didn't have anything. Money and power were important, but without the backing of his father in business and without his wife and son by his side in his personal life, his power was diminished and his money meant less. He wasn't a religious man, but right now, he almost wished he were; having faith would've given him hope that there was someone more powerful than he controlling the situation, however, he didn't really believe that there was; things were as they were and he couldn't change them; he was either the father of little John Moore, or he wasn't.

"Darlin', I'm fine, really, there's no need for you to worry. I love you, go back to sleep", responding to her concerned and hurt reply to his original explanation, he hoped that she really would let it go now. He was trying to spare her feelings by not telling her anything, because she didn't deserve to have to worry about the real problem and she didn't deserve to be lied to about a fake problem in order to cover up his true thoughts. All he wanted was to not have to lie to her anymore, he just wanted the problems to go away, and he was working on making them go away, he just needed a little more time before he could honestly answer his wife. If everything went to plan, no one would ever know what was going on and they would all be able to continue to live the good lives they had been living over the past few months. The only thing that worried him was what could occur within the next few days; he could try his best to control everything, but sometimes his plans didn't go as expected and right now, the last thing he wanted was for something unexpected to happen. "Ok… I'm here to listen or talk if you want to, but if you don't then that's also fine. I love you too", resigning herself to the fact that he didn't appear to want to talk, Sue Ellen made sure he understood that she loved him and was there for him, in any way he needed her. "Thank you darlin'", moving a little closer to his wife, he gave her a light kiss and then lay back down to sleep, this time making sure he didn't toss and turn, even if he was awake.

Hours later, Sue Ellen awoke to use the bathroom, and re-entering the bedroom, she looked at the clock and then at her sleeping husband and made a decision. Putting her robe on, she quietly opened the bedroom door and crept down the hallway, trying her best not to disturb anyone; it was Saturday morning and although they all still got up relatively early in order to eat breakfast together as a family, it was still very early and the likelihood of anyone else being awake was slim. Walking into the kitchen, she gathered the things she needed and began to prepare breakfast for she and JR; it was wonderful living at Southfork, having Teresa and Raoul around was a blessing, but occasionally, she did enjoy using the domestic skills that she had acquired during her many years living with and under the rules of Patricia Shepard. If her mother was to be believed, good wives knew how to run an efficient and pleasant home; raise pretty, polite and productive children; do everything in their power to please their husbands, and they made it look effortless. Not completely believing that being a good wife and mother was the be–all and end–all of life, but not disbelieving it either, Sue Ellen smiled proudly to herself as she plated the food, arranged it on the tray, covered it with a cloche to keep it warm, and then cleaned up the few dirty dishes she had made. If all went to plan, JR would have a much happier morning than he had night, and if her mother could see her now, she would be proud. Carrying the tray upstairs, she quietly placed it on JR's nightstand, removed her robe and got back into bed, intent on making his morning one he wouldn't forget and hopefully making stilted conversations and hidden feelings a thing of the past. She wanted them to have a good marriage and she wasn't afraid to assert herself to make it happen; she could be submissive, but she wasn't a pushover, she wouldn't just allow things to happen anymore, she would fight for what she wanted and their marriage would be better off for it.

To be continued…


	312. Happy Wife, Happy Life

**Dallas, Texas**

"…yes …mhm …yes, I agree ….ok, take care. Goodbye", responding with short answers and politely ending her conversation with her mother, Sue Ellen then hung up the phone and smiled; things looked as if they were really going to work out and she couldn't have been happier; calm was good, calm was all she wanted. It had been a few weeks since the hostile interaction between mother and daughter and mother-in-law and son-in-law had occurred and although Patricia was still holding a grudge against the two Ewings, she was also a little less angry than she had been. JR and Sue Ellen may have made her life a little more difficult, however, they weren't completely evil; they were taking care of Kristin and that was a huge burden off her shoulders, in a financial sense. There were a lot of costs associated with shaping her youngest daughter into the person she needed to be to succeed in life and with JR now committed to providing those things for her by proxy at her new school, the distance and relinquishing of power was worth it. The other positive of the situation was that although she'd taken a 'pay cut', she wasn't actually in a bad financial situation; yes, she needed to find another way to increase her income or access to money, but the money she did have access to was more than enough for her to live as a single, middle class woman. Raising children as a single mother had been a struggle, but she had managed, and she was more than capable of looking after herself; and now that she had more free time, she had the perfect opportunity to work on improving her own situation.

"From the smile on your face, I'm going to assume that Kristin's all settled in now and everything went smoothly?" Walking into the foyer as his wife finished her phone call, JR was happy; he'd had a rough night and he was still a little on edge about the whole Cynthia situation, however, his home life was almost perfect right now and he couldn't ignore the way that made him feel. Sue Ellen really was the perfect wife; she was a wonderful mixture of sweet, loving, caring, sexy, independent, submissive, and everything else he wanted her to be, but more importantly, she was happy with who she was and the way their lives were. It gave him so much pleasure to see her enjoying her life, as a wife, a mother, a friend, a family member and as a woman, independent of titles and roles; seeing her happy was important to him and experiencing the woman that she was when she was happy and trying to make him happy too was very much enjoyable. Sue Ellen's plan to improve his mood had worked; he'd awoken that morning to the slight smell of breakfast and the sensation of light kisses and caresses, and before he really had a chance to comprehend what was happening or feel bad about letting his wife treat him so well when he didn't deserve it, he was enjoying himself immensely. They'd had a wonderful morning together as a couple, as a family of three and as part of the wider Ewing family, and from the sounds of it now, Sue Ellen's phone call to her mother meant only good things for their relationship. Of course, he had to make sure that he kept his secret for a few more days and was able to get rid of the issue altogether before Sue Ellen ever had to know about it. He was sure he could though; he didn't plan on allowing Cynthia or her child anywhere near he or his family, not in the long run; if it was proven that her child was also his child, he would settle and send her away, and if it wasn't, then she would pay the price for messing with him. However, neither option required anyone apart from he, his lawyer and a member of law enforcement to know, so he had no plans to ruin his relationship with his wife by telling her; it would all be over soon anyway.

"Yes, that was mama calling from the airport; they flew in late last night, stayed in a hotel and then moved Kristin into her room this morning. Apparently, the dormitory staff were very helpful with Kristin's bags and because of the limited items students are allowed to bring, it took almost no time to set everything up as they had planned. Hearing that, I almost envy Kristin a little, I can't say my college move in day was quite that calm…." Letting out a small laugh as she remembered her own experience, she promised herself that when John Ross went to college, she would try her best to respect his privacy and personal wishes and not attempt to micromanage his life away from Southfork, no matter how much she believed that there was a 'better' way of doing things. "They're an hour ahead of us, so she and Kristin had lunch together in town before they returned to campus, Kristin then met her roommate, my mother 'introduced herself' to Kristin's roommate's parents and then a member of staff came around to remind the students that there was a dormitory meeting in the afternoon. They then said their goodbyes and mama left; she just called to tell me that everything went fine and thank us for our generosity, I think it's finally hit her that we don't want hostility and most of the negativity in our relationship comes from her. For the sake of our future relationship, I hope that she really takes that knowledge to heart and changes, however, I'm not stupid, I know she'll probably always be the same person, deep down…" Pausing for a moment as she thought about it and truly did hope that they could work on building some kind of constructive and positive relationship, she then remembered the final thing she needed to relay to JR.

"Oh, she also made a point of telling me how pleased with the service she and Kristin received while in the hands of the Ewing jet pilot, the chauffeur to and from the airport and anyone else that may or may not be a Ewing Oil employee. She said that it was nice to be back travelling in such a comfortable fashion and that your kind gesture was noted and acknowledged… Now, if I know my mother, I believe that was a thank you, or at least as close to one as you'll get". Smirking at the ludicrous way her mother said things, as if she were entitled to them, she then laughing at JR's expression, one of slight disbelief and then amusement. Stepping forward, she then kissed him, and when their kiss ended, she finished speaking, "because of that, I'll say it for her, and for me. Thank you for being so kind and generous toward my family. I know they're hard to deal with sometimes, but I love that you do and you do it so well", looking him in the eye as she spoke, she was worried for a moment as he briefly looked away, as if something horrible had just come into his mind, however, when he looked back at her, her worry disappeared. It was obvious from the way that he was looking at her that he loved her, wanted to be with her and would do anything for her, and she was thrilled by that kind of emotion, it was all she'd ever really wanted in a husband. "Mhm, yes, it's a hard job being Patricia Shepard's son-in-law, but apparently she comes with the territory if I want you as my wife, and I do, so I suppose I have to deal with her, and if being a nice person means that everyone is happy, then I'll do it, for you, because I love you". Maintaining their eye contact, JR started out joking, though he soon became more serious; he wanted her to understand how deeply he loved her, for the general purpose of making her happy and as a precautionary defence mechanism. If she did find out about the mess he was in, hopefully she would be more understanding if she remembered that his actions were in the past and didn't represent who he was as a man today. Smiling widely as she listened to her husband expressing his love for her, Sue Ellen felt wonderful; finally, after years of not quite having everything aligned, finally everything felt good and right, "I love you too", whispering her words as she looked him in the eye, she then leaned up and kissed him again. It was nice to feel so comfortable and accepted in their relationship that she could freely express herself without having to think about or conform to a silly set of conservative rules; everything was better when the lines of communication were open and the things they were communicating were positive.

To be continued…


	313. Ewing Barbecue Six

**Dallas, Texas**

"Oh Sue Ellen, he's precious"; holding John Ross as she and Miss Ellie socialised with the DOA ladies at the Ewing barbecue, Sue Ellen felt happy and proud; it was lovely to hear people complimenting her son, her marriage, her appearance and the Ewing family as a whole, but it was even nicer to feel that those compliments were genuine. At just three and a half months old, John Ross was still very young and mostly unaware of what was actually happening at Southfork that day, however, his age hadn't stopped his parents from going all out with his outfit and including him in the day's events. Wearing a tiny pair of cowboy boots, ones that matched his daddy's favourite pair, a small cowboy hat, jeans and a plaid shirt, he looked absolutely adorable and Sue Ellen had a strong feeling that when compiling photos in his baby photo album, the Ewing barbecue would be a well-documented event; it was hard to resist taking photos of him. Having spent a little time in the morning in the petting zoo area, showing John Ross the horses and other animals, she had then taken to carrying him around with her for a little while longer, at least until he needed to go down for his next nap. Greeting their guests and socialising with various members of Dallas society, all with John Ross in her arms, she grew fond of hearing people compliment her son and her life and she was contented by the confirmation that her perspective as a wife and mother wasn't completely delusional; she didn't just _think_ her life was good, it actually was good. "Thank you", responding to Linda Bradley, she smiled genuinely and then politely turned the conversation back to something they could both equally contribute to, the charitable acts of the DOA.

Half an hour later, having hashed out tentative plans to reintegrate herself back into DOA activities, Sue Ellen excused John Ross and herself and made her way into the house to put him down for a nap. Walking past the door to the downstairs office, she didn't notice her husband or Harry McSween inside and happily made her way upstairs to the nursery, completely unaware of the conversation that was happening on the floor below her, one that concerned a situation that had the potential to tear her current happiness to shreds. "…the medical records state that Miss Moore's son was born full-term, actually, perfectly full-term, right on his predicted due date. This is good news, not only for the child's health, but your case against her..." flipping back a page and then pointing at a small section in the papers, Harry waited for JR to examine them before he continued speaking. "It's written right here in black and white; estimated date of conception: November 28th 1971; estimated due date: August 20th 1972". Pausing as he allowed JR to comprehend his words, he then explained a little more, "now, my source tells me that these things aren't an exact science, the doctors can only do their best to calculate from the information they have, which includes a chart of some sort. Honestly, don't ask me how a woman's body works, I have no idea; however, from the information you provided me with about your encounter with Miss Moore and the hypothetical questions I posed to my source, I think it's safe to say that you're not the father of that child. From what I understand, the estimated due date of a child conceived around December 18th 1971 would be September 9th 1972, and with Miss Moore's records indicating a full-term birth, exactly in line with her estimated due date, I strongly believe that she saw an opportunity and took it, not that she actually, truly believes that you're her son's father".

Grinning as he heard the words, now confident that Miss Moore was playing games with him in hopes of making a quick buck out of his potential embarrassment, which was quite frankly a stupid, overconfident assumption to make, JR spoke, "well, well, well, isn't that interesting… thank you Harry". Finishing their conversation, he made a mental note of the dates and began plotting his next move; he still had a blood test on Tuesday, but he was now much more confident that the result was going to be negative and with that confidence, his inner turmoil began to calm. Everything was going to be just fine, revenge came naturally and easily to him, but dealing with the fallout of having an illegitimate son did not, and to know that he only needed to think about revenge from now on pleased him greatly.

Walking downstairs after changing, feeding and then putting John Ross down for his nap, Sue Ellen smiled to herself as she spotted JR outside on the patio, talking to Punk Anderson and Jordan Lee; it wouldn't be too difficult to get JR away from that conversation, Punk and Jordan were good friends with the Ewings, their conversation probably wasn't urgent. Walking up next to her husband and taking his hand, she nodded and politely greeted Punk and Jordan as they tipped their hats to her. "Hello darlin'", turning as he felt her hand slip into his and noticed the gentlemanly reactions of the other two men, JR smiled at his wife and squeezed her hand; it was nice to have her with him again after a morning of separate socialising and networking and especially after his meeting with Harry McSween. Politely including Sue Ellen in their conversation, Punk and Jordan were socially adept enough to know that although JR was interested in their conversation, he'd have to be stupid not to want time alone with his beautiful, charming wife, so they soon excused themselves. "Dance with me?" pleased with the development of the situation and much more relaxed and ready to have fun than he had been in a while, JR took his wife's hand and guided her over to the dancefloor, the two of them quickly falling into the rhythm of the music and moving exactly in time with each other. Smiling to herself and to her husband, Sue Ellen was truly happy; she had a wonderful family and life and with the way things were in that moment, she foresaw only a wonderful future too, and the thought alone filled her with joy. Everything was perfect.

To be continued…


	314. Collision

**Dallas, Texas**

"…oh you know, the usual; negotiating contracts, analysing geological reports, meeting with the cartel, oh, and a friendly lunch with Tex Jackson, he's mostly retired now, but Ewing Oil bought a lot of land off him a few years back, in a deal that was good for both parties, so we're on good terms. Murmurings around town are that he's getting ready to sell up and retire for good, so the remainder of his wells and oil-rich land holdings may be up for grabs soon, and Ewing Oil is always interested in acquiring productive land if it's offered, so, naturally, lunch is a very good idea". Grinning as he tied his tie and explained about his plans for the day, conveniently leaving out his appointment at the laboratory for a HLA blood test, he then looked over at his wife and noticed that she was dressed more formally than she usually would to spend the day at Southfork with their son or run errands in town. "What about you darlin'? You look lovely today. Should I be jealous?" jokingly fishing for information, he was genuinely curious about her plans for the day, he didn't remember her mentioning that she was planning on doing anything different to her usual routine. "Thank you", listening to his compliment, Sue Ellen's confidence was boosted and walking over to him, she gave him a soft kiss, "and no, no need to be jealous. Remember how I told you that socialising with everyone at the barbecue prompted me to move forward with my plans to start attending DOA meetings and participating in events again? Well Miss Ellie informed me last night that the committee she's on is handing out care packages today and they could use an extra pair of hands, so I'll be there this morning and home in time to spend the afternoon with John Ross again. I think it'll be nice to get out of the house for a little while and since I enjoy helping people more than I do sitting around and having tea, gossiping with the other DOA ladies at the meetings, I'm happy that this opportunity was available to me". Explaining her position, she was pleased when JR gave her a genuine smile and congratulated her; she knew he understood how much her activities meant to her and how good they were for her psyche and she was happy to know that she had his support. Finishing getting dressed, they made their way down to the nursery, collected John Ross and then headed down to breakfast together.

"All done", directing JR to put pressure on the cotton ball that was covering the needle prick mark, the laboratory phlebotomist then recorded his personal information on the tube of blood, checked to see that his blood was clotting and then showed him out of the room. Walking down the corridors and exiting the laboratory, JR felt a little anxious, but in a way, he was also relieved. He was fairly certain that Cynthia Moore was a liar and an opportunist and he was not the father of her child, so he wasn't too worried about what the results of the blood test were, what he was worried about though was the uncertainty of the situation prior to him having evidence to counter her claim. It wouldn't do him any good to have his father or wife finding out about his current situation, not now and if possible, not later on, so the sooner he could get the blood test results back, prove Cynthia a liar, punish her for her lies and eliminate her as a threat in his life, the better. If Harve had done what he said he would do though, everything would be over and done with by the next evening and he could go back to living his life as a happily married man with one wife and one son. It had occurred to him a few times that he was thinking about the situation coldly if that little baby was his son, however, he just couldn't and didn't want to believe that he was, so he tried to block out any guilty thoughts about potentially expelling an illegitimate child from his life. As it was though, all evidence pointed toward him not actually being the father, so he wasn't prepared to start thinking about what would happen if he were, it wasn't something he wanted to have to consider and until time came that he had reason to, he wouldn't.

Across town, set up in a community centre, Sue Ellen, Miss Ellie, Mavis Anderson, Linda Bradley, Marilee Stone and a few other DOA ladies were busy at work talking and distributing care packages to the small group of new mothers and their babies that were in less fortunate social and economic situations than themselves. It was a bit of a surprise to Sue Ellen to find out that the group they were helping were women that she could relate to, but at the same time, couldn't relate to because she had so much, however, instead of feeling guilty about what she had, she threw herself into doing as much good as she could. She enjoyed seeing the way a small action on her part could really impact another woman's life and it made her feel useful and valued to be thanked for her efforts. As her conversation with a woman whose husband had been laid off just a week before their daughter was born came to a natural close, Sue Ellen excused herself to use the bathroom, not taking much notice of the movement of the rest of the women in the main hall. Using the bathroom, washing her hands and then checking her appearance, she then pulled at the door to open it, just as a young woman and her wailing newborn son attempted to enter, startling both women and resulting in the young woman's personal items ending up all over the floor. "I'm so sorry, let me help you", shocked that she'd been so clumsy, Sue Ellen immediately crouched down and began to collect the diapers, wipes, bottles and other items that had fallen out of the young woman's slightly open diaper bag. "No, it's my fault, I'm so clumsy and I was distracted by John's crying and balancing him as I tried to open the door", crouching down and helping to collect her things as best she could with her newborn son in her arms, she then froze as she comprehended who she was speaking to. Sue Ellen Ewing wasn't a woman she ever expected to meet and the fact that they were there, having a somewhat friendly and embarrassing conversation made her feel a little anxious. Whatever way it was put, she had slept with Sue Ellen's husband, broken up their marriage for a little while and had possibly delivered a child that was a biological result of the fling she'd had with Mr JR Ewing, and although she wanted him to bow down to her wishes, she didn't want to ruin his marriage.

A little embarrassed by her clumsiness, even if it wasn't entirely her fault, Sue Ellen gave the young woman a weak smile and continued to pick up the contents of her diaper bag. Working relatively fast and not really having her mind set to where she was intentionally taking notice of what she was picking up and putting into the bag, it took her a moment to comprehend the letter when she saw it. No stranger to the interlocked S&amp;B logo that represented Smithfield &amp; Bennett law firm, something inside her was intrigued. Smithfield &amp; Bennett was not a cheap law firm and it struck her as odd that a young woman who needed charitable help would be dealing with such a company, however, as her eyes quickly moved over the contents of the letter, everything fell into place and as it did, her stomach dropped. In some horrible twist of fate, the words 'John Ross Ewing, Jr.', 'paternity', 'blood test' and 'minor child' were printed on the legal letter in front of her, and putting together JR's skittish behaviour last week, the age of the child, the child's name and the worried look on the young woman's face, she knew her initial thought was correct. Her worst nightmare was unfolding right in front of her; JR had or possibly had another child, a son, an infant son, with a girl that was even younger than she was, and he'd hidden it from her. Feeling physically ill at the thought of JR cheating on her, especially to the point where a child was created, and emotionally heartbroken by the betrayal she had experienced in the past and was now experiencing again, she dropped the items in her hands and sunk to the floor, unable to speak or look at the woman or her baby.

Seeing the reaction of JR Ewing's wife, Cynthia felt guilty and ashamed; she'd never wanted to hurt his family, all she wanted was a little support for she and her son from a man that had more than enough and even if he wasn't the father, very well could've been. It wasn't much to ask, not really; however, she never expected her actions to have such consequences either. Feeling as if she needed to say something, she stuttered as she attempted to do so, "I… I'm sorry…" getting out three words before finding herself at a loss and having her attention redirected back to her crying son, she was almost relieved then when Sue Ellen appeared to have a sudden resurgence of energy and stood. With more class than to act on her emotions, even if they were more than valid, Sue Ellen simply glared at the young woman and spoke directly to her, "I don't want to hear it..." then, collecting her things, she walked away, heartbroken, angry and confused.

To be continued…


	315. Hurt and Anger

**Dallas, Texas**

Spotting her daughter-in-law looking distressed and hurriedly rushing out of the community centre, Miss Ellie's stomach dropped, and apologetically excusing herself from the conversation she was in, she quickly followed in Sue Ellen's path. "Sue Ellen!" calling her name and seeing her turn around, now with tears streaming down her face, she had all the confirmation that she needed to know that something was very wrong. "Oh dear, what happened?" speaking in a calm, sympathetic manner, she stood next to and almost in front of Sue Ellen to stop her in her path; the last thing she needed her to do now was get in her car and drive off, upset and distracted. "How could he? I loved him, I forgave him, I thought he loved me, and now this…" sniffling and mumbling words that made little sense to Miss Ellie, Sue Ellen felt helpless, hopeless, angry, lost and most of all, confused. "He does love you, I know he does… why don't we take a seat over here and you tell me all about what's making you so upset, I'm sure talking about it will help clear your mind". Confused as to what JR had done now, but not underestimating the effects hurt and anger could have on Sue Ellen, Miss Ellie ushered her over to a small park bench next to the community centre building, and as they sat down, she simply stroked Sue Ellen's hand lovingly and allowed her to cry her tears; she would talk, eventually.

As she cried in the quiet, soothing company of her mother-in-law, Sue Ellen's mind wouldn't stop thinking and she soon found herself piecing together bits of information, and as she did, her upset soon became replaced by thoughts of anger and disgust. Looking forward, her eyes glazed as she subconsciously opened her purse and pulled out a small, lace edged handkerchief to dry her eyes with, she then spoke, angrily, but also audibly upset by the situation, "that whore… I hate her and I hate him…" there was only one explanation that she could think of and it was one that made her angry, especially since she already had such painful memories attached to that time in her life. Not helping the situation were the further details that had now come to light. Firstly, the young woman's age, she was very young and the thought of JR being with another woman, especially one younger than her made her feel ill and a little confused as to what JR wanted in a woman. Then there was the age of the young woman's baby; mentally comparing him to the size of John Ross, she knew that the baby had to be just a few weeks old, and after hearing that he was named John, she had no doubt of exactly when the young woman had 'met' JR. It hurt her to know that JR's past infidelity had not only had immediate consequences, but that it had had lasting ones too. That whore had spread disease to JR, who had spread it to her and unintentionally endangered their unborn child's life, and to know that the consequences of she and JR's actions hadn't stopped there, that a child had been conceived out of that act really hurt her. She trusted that JR had probably been faithful to her since they had reconciled, she couldn't deny that he had been a good husband over the past few months; and she trusted that he had been telling the truth in his disgusting confession, that it wasn't often that he didn't use protection, but recent faithfulness didn't make it all ok.

Still confused by what had happened just a few moments earlier, but able to piece together the larger picture, Miss Ellie was angry with JR and was growing increasingly more concerned for Sue Ellen as she heard the hurt and then anger in her voice, and when Sue Ellen stood, and began to walk toward the parking lot, she panicked. Opening her purse, Sue Ellen found her car keys and began to walk toward her car, only to find Miss Ellie in front of her, looking scared and concerned. "Whatever you're thinking of doing, I'll support you, but please, allow me to drive, I don't think you're in any state to be behind the wheel", hoping that Sue Ellen understood that she was supportive but also concerned, Miss Ellie then held out her hand and waited; she didn't drive often, but right now it was probably the safer option. Pausing momentarily as she comprehended the situation, she then realised that Miss Ellie was right; her track record when it came to emotional driving wasn't the best, and no matter how angry she was at JR, she had a son to live for and it would be irresponsible to drive when she was so emotional. So, making a decision, she then dropped the keys into her mother-in-law's open hand and strode purposefully toward her car, determined to go and see JR. Whether he was at Ewing Oil or at his business lunch didn't matter to her, she had decided not to play the weak victim any longer; they needed to talk and the location of that talk was irrelevant. She wouldn't run away and she wouldn't avoid uncomfortable conversations, JR didn't deserve to have time to practice a neatly apologetic speech; there was going to be a confrontation and she didn't care who heard it, JR didn't deserve privacy, not now, not after what he'd done.

Gleaning the overall context of Sue Ellen's anger from the few comments that she made as they drove into downtown Dallas, Miss Ellie grew less worried about Sue Ellen's emotional stability and more worried about the state of her son and daughter-in-law's marriage after their confrontation. Sue Ellen was angry, and rightfully so, she just hoped JR didn't do anything to further exacerbate that anger, because although she loved him, his wife was not the same woman she had been the first time she found out about his infidelities and she wouldn't be so easily swayed by his charm and promises now. Arriving at the Ewing Oil building and stepping into the elevator, Miss Ellie found herself almost regretting offering to drive Sue Ellen into town; confrontation needed to happen, but was now really the right time? It was a bit late to be second guessing her decision now though, because just as she was about to say something, the elevator bell dinged and the doors opened into the Ewing Oil reception area, and without hesitation, Sue Ellen strode inside. In her most neutral voice, not wanting to give the secretaries anything more to gossip about than her unexpected presence, Sue Ellen turned to Diane and spoke, "Diane, lovely to see you again. I know that it's short notice, but I need to see my husband, and it'll probably take a while, so anything he has planned for this afternoon will probably need rescheduling. No need to buzz him, I'll go straight through now", finishing her explanation, she did just as she said, walking toward her husband's office door and opening it; no business meeting or lunch was more important than their conversation, not where their marriage was concerned; they were going to talk, whether he wanted to or not.

To be continued…


	316. Fracas

**Dallas, Texas**

"YOU BASTARD!" angry and ready for confrontation, Sue Ellen didn't even think before her hand made contact with JR's face, leaving him with no question as to how she felt, though the fact that she had just walked into his office and started screaming at him did leave him a little confused about what she was actually reacting to. As far as he was aware, his situation with Cynthia was not on her radar and if she didn't explicitly describe what it was that she was angry with him for, he wasn't going to start admitting things, he wasn't stupid, he wouldn't accidentally incriminate himself. "Darlin'?" rubbing his face, in an effort to not reciprocate her anger and hopefully bring her back down to a calmer level of emotion, he spoke more softly than he normally would after such an action, and seeing her eyes soften toward him, he knew it had worked. However, it didn't really make him feel any better, because it soon became clear to him that her anger was borne out of upset and sadness, not irrational female emotion, and as she spoke, he knew that all of his efforts to protect her had been in vain, because she knew now, and she was hurt.

Looking her husband in the eye, Sue Ellen spoke, at a more normal level this time, "how could you?" now feeling more betrayed and upset than angry, she found it hard to look at him, but she did, because she needed him to understand how she felt and how responsible he was for her feelings. "How could you do this to me? To your son?" she wanted John Ross to have siblings one day, but she wanted them to be her and JR's children, not his illegitimate half-brother or sister. Was it selfish to still think that way now that there was the possibility that a John Ross did have a half-brother? Perhaps, but she didn't care too much, she had the right to feel that way, even if it was selfish; JR was her husband and the father of her son, and to want the best for their little family wasn't a bad thing. She hated the idea of sharing JR, of John Ross having to share JR or Ewing Oil and she absolutely hated the idea of having to deal with another woman in their lives; it wasn't fair and it wasn't right, she wanted their lives to be happy and normal, not full of drama because JR couldn't control himself. Sighing, she then made her other, more personal feelings known, "how could you hide it from me? I thought we had moved past the secrets and lies. I thought I could trust you… I really did, but I'm not sure anymore. How can I trust you when you clearly don't trust me?" It was confusing, she didn't know whether to act on her anger or her upset, because she felt both and she wanted him to understand that she felt both, but it also seemed misplaced and pointless to start shouting at him again. What good were raised voices now? His infidelity was no longer a past mistake, it had had very real consequences and they were dealing with them, whether they wanted to or not, and although that made her angry and upset, she was also able to see that raised voices probably wouldn't get them very far, though it did feel a little satisfactory in the moment.

Lost for words, JR didn't know how to respond. It was now clear that somehow, she knew about his situation and she was not happy about it and honestly, he couldn't fault her for feeling that way, he understood exactly why she was upset. He was pretty mad at himself for allowing himself to get into such a situation, as well as mad at himself for being a terrible husband in the past, because she didn't deserve to be treated that way and he would always regret the way he had acted during the first part of their marriage. Unfortunately though, regretting and being apologetic about the past wasn't enough right now and until they got the test results back, there was more to their reality they had to deal with. Being in such a situation, he really wished that he could have her on his side to support him, though realistically he knew that support was probably the last thing she was willing to give him right now. He knew he had messed up by not telling her about Cynthia as soon as she made contact, because somehow, even when he had plans otherwise, Sue Ellen always found out and the consequences were always worse when information was revealed from another source as opposed to directly from him. Stupidly, he had assumed that this time would be different, and unfortunately for him, and for Sue Ellen, it wasn't, and she had ended up hurt and distrustful of him again. "I'm sorry. I mean it, truly. I never intended for any of this to happen, and I'm doing my best to make sure that it doesn't turn into anything too dramatic, because there's a very good chance that that woman is a liar and is doing her best to blackmail me and that I'm not actually connected to this situation in any real way. I promise, I never intended for any of this to happen and I'm so sorry you had to find out this way. Please, allow me to explain everything"; the word 'sorry' seemed like a useless apology and weak excuse, but he said it anyway because he really didn't have many other words right now and if at all possible, he really did want a chance to explain everything to her, because he did feel bad and did want to take responsibility. Over the last eight and a half months, he really had been trying to be a better, different man and up until recently, he had felt as if his efforts were working. Unfortunately though, those efforts didn't occur in a vacuum and despite him changing, the things around him had a mind of their own and the consequences of his actions were finally catching up to him.

"You're sorry? About which part? Are you sorry that you had unprotected sex with another woman without any regard to our marriage, me as a person, the health of our unborn baby or your own personal life circumstances? Are you sorry that that is now coming back to bite you in the form of a real, live baby boy and his needy, trashy mother? Are you sorry that even if that baby isn't your son, there will still be some serious consequences? You can say sorry as many times as you want, but it doesn't make anything any better, not really. It doesn't take away the hurt, embarrassment and anger you caused me to feel; it doesn't take away the danger that you put all of us in when you did such a thing and it doesn't make the fact that you may have two sons now any better. Two families, two women, two children, two completely different life circumstances; tell me, how are we supposed to deal with all of that and continue as if nothing was wrong?" sighing loudly as she paused, she then considered what more she could say. They had been through the immediate issue of his cheating months ago and honestly, she had forgiven him and warily allowed him to prove himself to her as a decent husband and father, to which she had been pleasantly surprised that he was, until just recently when it had all come back to her. The real issue she had right now was that the consequences of that action were much longer lasting than either of them had ever imagined or expected and it hurt both to know that there was a possibility that he had another son and that he had hidden it from her. To think that he had purposely avoided telling her about something that could affect their marriage, her life, John Ross' life and the entire Ewing family in a huge way didn't say much about their commitment to an open and honest relationship. The fact was that if he was lying to her about this, then how could she trust that he wasn't lying about anything else? How could she trust him in any other area of their lives?

Sighing, JR had his thoughts confirmed, he had messed up; she was hurt, angry, frustrated and felt betrayed and from the sounds of it, an apology and explanation weren't going to be enough. She wanted answers and honestly, he wasn't sure he could give her answers, he didn't have all the facts himself and he wouldn't know what direction the situation was heading in until tomorrow afternoon when he met with Harve and Cynthia. He knew that whatever he said right now wouldn't be enough, the problem was, he wasn't really sure what would be enough, because apart from his recent lies and past mistakes, two things he couldn't take back now, he had been a good husband and besides increased transparency and continued effort, he didn't really know what else to do. "Darlin', you're absolutely right. I didn't think about the future or our relationship back then, and I know we have been through this and it feels like we're back at the beginning, and I know that my apologies don't mean much right now, but please, just allow me to explain. I can't guarantee that it will make anything better, but I want you to understand all of the facts before you make a judgement and get any more angry with me. Please, allow me to make good on the promise of open and honest communication, even if it's a little late", dropping any instinct he had to fight, be defensive or maintain his 'manly' emotions, he looked at her pleadingly and waited for her to respond. He couldn't have her leaving him like she did last time, there was so much more to lose now and he didn't want to lose any of it, even if he had done wrong and deserved to face some consequences for his actions. He wanted his wife, his son, his company and his family and if admitting his mistakes, apologising profusely and making good on promises of real change were what it took to keep her, then that's what he would do. He wasn't stupid, he knew that now was not the time to start asserting control in their relationship by telling her how things were and that she shouldn't question him, not if he wanted to stay married.

Glaring at her husband, still angry and hurt, even if she was softening a little to his attitude, Sue Ellen sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, "a little late? I think we've passed the marker for what counts as a little. You should have told me and the fact that you didn't hurts me…" pausing for a moment as she considered whether to listen to his explanation, she allowed her genuine curiosity to get the better of her, "…however, if you're willing to tell me everything, and I mean everything, then I'm willing to listen. I can't make any promises about us, our future, or my reaction to what you're going to tell me, but I want to and need to know, so do not even consider hiding things from me in order to 'protect' me. I'm a grown woman, I'm your wife and my life is just as much connected to this as yours is, so please, save the lies and cover stories for your future memoir, because all I want to hear is the truth… the whole truth, no matter how dark or embarrassing. I need to know, so, if you're willing to tell me, then I will listen, but, if you're not, then don't even bother". Looking at him expectantly, still a little unsure whether giving him a chance to explain, or lie, was the right decision, but hoping it was, she was relieved when he gave her a weak, embarrassed smile and thanked her for the opportunity; his subdued attitude was a good start, she just hoped that it wasn't all he had to offer.

To be continued…


	317. New Order

**Dallas, Texas**

"…that's the truth, all of it", finishing his explanation, one he was sure had to have been upsetting for her to hear, especially since they'd been so happy lately, JR looked at his wife and waited, and when he felt his face stinging again, he knew that his assumption was correct; she was angry and an explanation didn't nullify that. "I hate you! I hate that you did this to me, to our son and to our marriage. Whether the child is yours or not is almost irrelevant right now, because even if he isn't, and I sure as hell hope he isn't, doesn't take away from the fact that you cheated, you lied and you went behind my back to cover it all up. You don't seem to really care about how any of that affected me and to make it worse, with your history and the fact that this woman has caused this much disruption in our lives without even proving her child is yours, who's to say that this won't happen again in the future? This woman could be just one of hundreds that could claim the same thing and try to ruin our lives and I don't know how I'm supposed to be ok with that. I know, I know we discussed it the last time this was an issue and I know I said that I forgave you, and I did, but with this new development, I'm not so sure anymore; you have to understand how this all is for me. What if you do have another child? How am I supposed to live with that? How is John Ross supposed to live with that? How does the child fit into our lives? How does his mother fit into our lives? You know what it's like growing up in an unequal home; we promised that we wouldn't do that to John Ross and I'd really rather not deal with it in marriage either. I can't and I won't be one of many women in your life", frustrated, angry and not entirely sure herself what she wanted or what could come out of their conversation, she sighed to herself. Why was their marriage so difficult? Surely, it didn't have to be. When they were happy, they were blissfully happy, but it never lasted, there was always something just waiting to be revealed and she was tired of dealing with that.

"Darlin'…" attempting to reply and then pausing as he realised that he had no good words to say in order to reassure her, JR was both hurt by her expression of hate and distrust and cornered by the fact that she was asking questions and expressing realities that he had no answers for. "I'm sorry, I don't have all the answers you're looking for and I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth. I can tell you this though, you are my wife, you are the woman that I love and I am truly sorry that it took me so long to realise what that meant. I promise, no other woman will ever occupy the place in my heart and in my life that you do; no other woman will ever even come close. As for John Ross, he's my, our, first born son and he will have the best, as will the rest of our children, if and when the time comes; I promise, an illegitimate child will not interfere with the way we live our lives as a family, I don't want it to and I won't allow it to. As for the future and the possibility of this happening again, I can't make any statements guaranteeing that there won't be opportunists, however, I can promise you that those opportunists will not get anywhere near our family. You have to understand and believe me; that's the reason why I didn't tell you about this particular situation, I didn't want you to have to worry about something that's probably nothing and if it is something, then I wanted to have all the facts before I told you. I understand now that that was a bad decision to make, I should have just told you instead of hiding it from you, but I didn't deliberately try to exclude you or keep you in the dark", bending the truth about his motive little as he spoke, he hoped that she believed him, because his words weren't all lies. He had been hiding facts in hopes of making the problem go away before she ever heard about it, however, he was honest in his expression of plans for the future; he wouldn't allow an illegitimate child to interfere in his wife and legitimate son's lives, no matter what it meant he had to do. Sue Ellen hadn't really mentioned the impact on Ewing Oil partially because she wasn't involved in the business like he was and partially because she had no idea of the terms surrounding his future presidency, but if he could get this issue to disappear before his father found out about it, the better off he and everyone else would be. For that and other reasons, he had stayed secretive about the situation he was in and if all went according to plan, he would be off the hook in less than twenty-four hours; what he needed right now though was Sue Ellen's support, or at least her silence; he needed her to trust him, though he knew she probably didn't.

"JR…" feeling helpless and unsure of where to go to from where they were, because their conversation seemed to be going in circles, Sue Ellen paused and then spoke, "I'm glad that you agree that you should have told me about this and I want to believe that you have it all under control, but I don't. I don't understand how you're going to make all of this go away and I don't know if even if that happens, whether I can trust you again. I'm tired of the constant drama, I'm disappointed in the constant disillusionment of marriage and I'm nearing the end of my tolerance for a life like this. I… I don't know what you want from me anymore and I don't know what I can give you…" temporarily allowing herself to fall into a mindset of complete hopelessness, she then realised how pathetic it was to stand by and do nothing about the situation, and as she did, she found herself with a new perspective and determination. She wouldn't passively wait for him to tell her how things were going to happen or did happen, she would become a part of the solution. "…however, in saying that, I know that I cannot stand by and do nothing like I have been; it doesn't work for us and I don't want to keep repeating the same cycle of lies and mistakes. Now, you mentioned that you have a meeting with Harve Smithfield tomorrow; I will be joining you in that meeting, whether you like it or not, and don't even think about objecting, because you're not in a position to tell me what to do; this affects me and I will not allow you to control the situation without consultation anymore. In addition to that, you've said that you won't allow these types of situations to interfere in our lives any longer, so, in the spirit of being open, honest and trying to make things right, I expect to be included in every thought process and plan from now on, no matter how small or insignificant you think those things are. I want to know what you plan on doing about things before and as you do them, not after the fact. I need time to think and comprehend all of this and work out where we go from here, but for now, those are my two conditions for not just upping and leaving you, which I will do if anything more comes to light…" leaving her statement vague but ominous enough for him to listen, she then waited for his response. Knowing that she was right and that he was in no position to argue, even if he wanted to, JR simply nodded and agreed; his marriage was worth more than upholding his supposed strong masculinity through arguments and power struggles. If allowing his wife to be a part of his thoughts and actions was what it took to keep her and his son in his life, then he would do it.

"What the hell is going on in there?" walking out of his office and into the reception area in an attempt to find an answer to his question, Jock was surprised to see his wife worriedly hovering outside JR's office and the secretaries doing their best to look like they were working while also attempting to hear the argument inside. "Ellie?" addressing his wife directly, he was annoyed when she gave him a look as if to tell him to be quiet, "Ellie…" more aggressively this time, he was then a little shocked when she held up her hand and then motioned for him to follow her into his office; since when did she give the orders in their marriage? Shutting his office door behind him, he then demanded answers, "I asked a question and still haven't received an answer. This is my company and I deserve to know what is happening in these offices, especially when it involves an argument of some sort and three gossip hungry women hanging on every word", looking at her demandingly, he then waited for a response. "Have a seat Jock, I think you're going to need it", concerned more about the state of JR and Sue Ellen's marriage than the potential consequences the situation posed for Ewing Oil, Miss Ellie knew her husband wouldn't see things the way she did and she was prepared for such an event, though preparedness and calmness were two different things. "Ellie…" grumbling at the idea of being told what to do and not knowing the whole story, Jock did as she told him and as she began to speak, telling him what she understood about the situation, his anger and frustration grew. He didn't know what he was going to do with JR, but whatever it was, Sue Ellen wasn't the only one he had to worry about making good with.

To be continued…


	318. Paternity Suit

**Dallas, Texas**

"…darlin'?" noticing his wife tying her robe and holding her evening reading book, JR's concern grew; he'd assumed that their agreement to really try to be more open, honest and trusting meant that things were ok between them, however, from her physical and emotional coldness toward him and her current actions, he had a feeling that all was not right. "I'm sorry JR; I can't do this right now. I need some space, so I'll be across the hall in the guest bedroom", giving a quick explanation, Sue Ellen then walked toward the door, turned and gave him a weak smile and then left the room. If it hadn't been for John Ross, she would've probably left Southfork for the time being, however, she wasn't so selfish that she would really remove her three and a half month old son from the only home and family he had ever known, so for now, the guest room would have to do. She had left Ewing Oil shortly after coming to an agreement with JR that she would be more involved in his life and the current situation, however, just because she was now 'allowed' to be in on the information didn't mean she was happy about any of it or had to act as if she were. JR was on probation with her and with his father and until the circumstances surrounding the current drama changed, she didn't foresee them just slipping back into a happy marriage. Their meeting with Harve and possible negotiation or consequential punishment of Cynthia tomorrow would set the tone for the current and future situation, but until then, until she had a better idea of what the future held, she couldn't force herself to play happy, because she wasn't and she didn't want to lie or pretend everything was ok. Seeing the door close, JR sighed to himself; things were worse than he imagined and he wasn't sure how he was going to fix them; her trust and confidence were obviously diminished and once again, it was all his fault.

The next morning, after an awkward, tension filled breakfast with the family, one where it was obvious that JR, Sue Ellen, Miss Ellie and Jock all knew something that Bobby and Lucy didn't, but they weren't willing to discuss said topic, there was relief when the Ewing men left for work and the Ewing women went about their days activities. With the situation weighing on her mind, Sue Ellen found comfort in playing with John Ross and really paying attention to the details of his life, and in doing so, she found herself hoping and praying that John Ross Ewing III was the only child who had any right to John Ross Ewing, Jr.'s paternal love and attention. She and JR had a meeting with Harve Smithfield and that whore this afternoon and as much as she absolutely did not want to see that woman again, she knew she had to be there, she had to know the facts and what was going to happen in the future; it affected her whether she liked it or not. After a morning of avoiding talking to Miss Ellie about the situation, simply because she didn't really know what to say, she then put John Ross down for a nap, ate lunch and then got ready for her appointment, feeling ill as she changed into a more suitable outfit. No matter what the outcome of the meeting, things were going to be different; she didn't trust JR like she had in the past and that was a real issue. How could she be married to someone she didn't trust?

Sitting in a conference room at Smithfield &amp; Bennett, Sue Ellen's ill feeling increased as she watched the clock ticking; she and JR were waiting on both Harve and Cynthia and the anticipation of either outcome was enough to make her want to be sick. This was a pivotal moment in their lives, one she had no control over and she hated it. If JR and Cynthia had a child together, then everything was about to change, absolutely everything; and if they didn't, then she was still left with the distrust and hurt that had come from this situation and there didn't seem to be a clear path forward. Hearing the door open, both JR and Sue Ellen turned around and were slightly shocked to see that Harve Smithfield and Cynthia Moore were not alone. It wasn't something Sue Ellen, or JR for that matter, had considered a possibility, but it made sense that little John Moore, Cynthia, and possibly JR's son, was with his mother; clearly she wasn't as privileged as the Ewings were and didn't have such open access to child minding services. However, even quickly mentally acknowledging this fact, for the two Ewings present, seeing the child in question made everything more real and a lot more confusing; he was so tiny and vulnerable and even if he wasn't JR's son, he was still an innocent victim in the situation.

After an awkward formal introduction between the four adults who had until this point, never met or communicated in such 'normal' circumstances, and the required words about Miss Moore's right to have her own lawyer present if she wished, to which she politely declined, Harve then began the meeting. Explaining the scientific accuracy of the tests and making sure that both JR and Cynthia understood that although the tests had been done independently and were legally ordered, they were still in a private negotiation, meaning that they weren't bound by Texan child conservatorship laws right now, he then stated the much anticipated and highly dreaded results."…these independently tested and evaluated results determine that John Ross Ewing Jr. is of no relation to the minor chid in question. I'm sorry Miss Moore, but you have no case against my client". In a short, direct statement, Harve laid out the information and waited for a response, from anyone in the room and although it was silent for a moment, as each concerned party comprehended the information, it soon became clear that not everyone was happy, a not completely unexpected result; conflicts of this nature rarely allowed both parties to be victors.

Letting out a relieved sigh and then smiling, JR turned toward his wife and gave her a gentle pat on the hand; they had a lot to talk about and a long way to go before they anywhere near a good place again, but at least they had a chance to do so without an illegitimate child in their lives. Not so relieved by the result was Miss Cynthia Moore who at hearing the dismissal of her claim, began to sob; she'd always had an inkling that JR Ewing wasn't her son's father and she'd always known that she was taking a risk in involving him in the situation, but she'd never expected things to end like this. She had assumed that he would be so ashamed by the fact that they did in fact sleep together and could have conceived a child that he would pay her off as a bribe to keep her quiet; she never imagined that he would fight her, or invite his wife to be a part of her takedown. With this news and the fact that she had tried to blackmail JR Ewing, she was worried and scared; she was worried that he would lash back at her for her manipulative, dishonest and endangering actions and scared about what the future looked like for her and her son, because right now, she had nothing and nowhere to go. She tried to act tough, but deep down, she was just a scared, wayward college dropout and right now, she couldn't even come up with a good list of reasons as to why her life had turned out that way. Sometime over the past year, she'd managed to burn bridges with her family, lose most of her real friends, cut her job prospects down to almost nil due to her lack of complete formal education and inflexible availability because of early motherhood, and become poor and dependent on an ex-boyfriend that used her for his own benefit, on his terms. She was in a terrible social and financial position and honestly had no idea what she was going to do. She couldn't easily independently support herself or her son, she couldn't run back to her parents after the way they'd left things, she had no money or time to finish college and she was at the mercy of two men, one who probably hated and wanted to punish her and the other who would probably tire of her soon enough.

Completely relieved that the current situation was a dead end, Sue Ellen looked over at JR and smiled weakly as he patted her hand; she was still upset with him that they were even in this kind of situation to begin with, however, she couldn't deny that she was happy about the results. Unfortunately, as happy as she was that the tests had come back negative, she couldn't help but feel a little bad for the young woman sitting across the table from them. It wasn't that she forgave her for what she had done, or liked her any better as a person now that she had formally met her, however, as a mother herself, one who had felt helpless during her separation from JR and loved her own son very much, she empathised with the base emotions the girl was probably feeling. Brought out of her thoughts by Harve speaking, Sue Ellen found herself even more conflicted; "now, ordinarily in a situation like this where paternity is disproven by scientific testing, releasing the alleged father from any legal obligations to support the minor child, both parties would simply sign the papers acknowledging these results as true and would go their separate ways. However, due to the surrounding social and financial circumstances, I am requesting, on behalf of my client, that an additional set of papers be signed, a non-disclosure agreement that effectively seals this information for good and prevents any future legal action, from either party". Looking through the stack of papers on the table, Harve then found what he was looking for and nodded at JR as he handed a copy to both he and Cynthia. They'd discussed options for every possible outcome and there was a plan in place if she decided to argue, however, not wanting to be too generous, JR had specifically told Harve to hold off on presenting it unless she did request or demand something in return for her signature. Looking over the paperwork, Cynthia began to cry harder; she was completely out of her depth and was regretting the fact that she'd ever tried to blackmail JR Ewing and the fact that she'd stupidly forgone hiring a lawyer to represent her. That silly mistake had occurred mostly out of embarrassment and naivety of the seriousness of the situation she was entering into, but also because she hadn't realised that contingency lawyers and legal aid services existed and had truly believed that she had no hope of ever affording a lawyer for herself. The fact was, if she had hired a lawyer, she would have known that she hadn't actually committed a crime in sending JR the first photograph of her son, because she hadn't demanded anything from him, he had contacted her before it got that far, therefore, she had a little more power than she was being led to believe. Unfortunately for her though, she hadn't hired a lawyer and had confirmed that that action was her choice; she was scared for both her and her son's future and was naïve in the ways of the world, so reading over the contract, asking for an explanation of exactly what she was signing, she then signed it and handed it back.

Watching the entire situation unfold, Sue Ellen was completely conflicted. With everything JR had told her about her social and financial situation, it was no wonder that she had been at a DOA charity event as an aid recipient and no wonder she was upset now; her chance at gaining steady support for her and her son was now gone. Although Sue Ellen still hated the way the woman had come into JR's life, hated that she had seen JR as a target and hated that she had put them through so much stress, distress, embarrassment and anger, she couldn't help but see the small baby in the room as a completely innocent and undeserving victim in the situation. Watching the woman silently gather her things as she resignedly realised that she had taken on a man much more powerful than her, had lost, and now had no real prospects or direction in her and her son's life, Sue Ellen cleared her throat and did something completely unexpected. "JR, Mr Smithfield, I'd like a moment alone with Miss Moore, please", looking over at the two of them, she gave her best convincing smile and waited for them to leave the room, which they both did, only because they both knew that she and JR were on thin ice right now and upsetting her was not a wise decision. Unsure of what was going on, but not having a good feeling about it, Cynthia jumped slightly as the door closed and both JR and Harve left the room, however, as she looked up and made eye contact with Sue Ellen, she was surprised, there was more than just anger and upset in her eyes. Empathy? Compassion? She wasn't sure, but whatever it was, something inside her was telling her to listen and find out; it wasn't as if her situation could get any worse than it already was.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Hopefully their discussion all made sense in a legal way; essentially it's a private agreement, not involving the actual legal processes that would have happened if they had filed a real case (which would have gone nowhere since JR isn't the father, but would have been public record).**

**Thanks for reading and for all of the recent reviews :)**


	319. Discomfort

**Dallas, Texas**

Clearing his throat as he changed for dinner and turning toward Sue Ellen as she sat at her vanity, touching up her makeup, JR broke the silence that they'd fallen into, "Sue Ellen?" waiting for her to turn and face him, he then asked the question that had been weighing on his mind all afternoon. "What exactly did you say to that woman? You know, when you were alone with her today. She didn't look nearly as upset coming out of that meeting as she did when Harve and I left the room". Sue Ellen's actions and reactions earlier had surprised him and it was slowly eating away at him that he had no idea what her motive for asking for alone time was, what was said in the conversation or what the outcome was, for either woman. He knew it was an awkward and slightly risky question to ask, especially now, in an awkward silence, but he was curious, he wanted to know and he didn't want to have to wait to find out, especially since she was no stranger to keeping her thoughts and feelings locked inside her. Looking up at her husband from where she was seated, Sue Ellen sighed, she didn't quite understand him sometimes, "why do you want or need to know that? Is it not enough that she was happier?" pausing, she then saw the look on his face and knew that she had to finish, he wasn't satisfied with rhetorical questions. "Look, I may not like her and I may not condone what she did or what you did with her, but I'm not a terrible person. I won't go into detail, it's really not necessary, but if you must know, I started off by letting her know that I didn't appreciate any of this; not just the blackmail, but the original action and original consequences. I still find it particularly disturbing and disgusting that I somehow ended up involved in your dirty little secret…" deciding not to dwell on that part too much, she paused for a moment, sighed to herself and then continued, changing the direction of her explanation.

"That poor child doesn't deserve any of this, it's not fair and I would have felt awfully guilty if I just sat back and said nothing, allowing her to think that today's loss was the end of the world and her life is over, therefore, there's no reason for her to try and better things. That's not the case and her son deserves a better life than that. I haven't been exactly where she is, not really, but mother to mother, I understand what helplessness feels like and I wanted to make sure that she understood that even if she felt that this was necessary, it wasn't. There's help out there for women like her, she knows that, she was at a DOA sponsored event and she received her prenatal care through a non-profit clinic; there are many other services available to her, she's not alone in the world, I just wanted to make sure that she understood that. I told her to contact her parents and attempt to rebuild a relationship with them, even if it meant apologising and taking responsibility for things that she didn't want to, because no matter what, she needs some support, emotionally, financially and in other ways, and from what I understand, that ex-boyfriend of hers is not a good long-term choice. I also told her to set goals for the future, so that she doesn't end up in a downward spiral wondering what she got herself into. One of the goals I told her to aim for was to finish college if she could, obviously not immediately of course, because it's not reasonable to expect to be able to do that right now, but at some time in the future, going back and finishing would do wonders for her self-esteem and future career choices. I wanted her to understand that just because she feels like she's in a terrible situation right now, doesn't mean that it will always be that way, and she has the power to change certain things in her life if she really tries. I suggested that she meet with a charity for young mothers and children, one that helps them through all of these challenges, that's what those organizations are there for, to help. Essentially, instead of punishing her for what she did, even though I so desperately wanted to yesterday when I found out about all of this, I just wanted her to know that this isn't all there is; she doesn't have to resort to blackmailing wealthy men in order to support her son, it doesn't have to be this way. She seemed a little confused as to how I knew all of those things about her life, but she also appeared receptive to that advice and that confirms to me that she really was a naïve opportunist when she sent you that card; I honestly believe that she had no idea what messing with JR Ewing meant. Now, again, that doesn't mean that I approve or like anything about this situation, but as I said, I'm not a monster and the I would never purposely rub salt in the wound. Ultimately, it came down to me telling her that she's a mother now, she's responsible for more than just her own life and part of being a responsible mother and adult has to do with doing everything she possibly can to make sure that her son is happy and healthy. She needs to be a better person, for herself and for her son, and lying, blackmailing and living a dependent and borderline abusive lifestyle is not the way to do that. Of course, I said it in the least judgemental and most empathetic manner I could, which answers your question about why she didn't seem as upset after her meeting with me as she did during our group meeting. That child is not your son and for that I am so thankful and you should be too, because I don't know whether I would have been able to forgive a betrayal like that, I'm still having a hard time with the situation as it is, even without a biological connection to that child. The fact is though is that although I hate what that woman did and what she put us through, something inside me, call it maternal nature or just empathy, I don't know, but something inside of me was telling me that I couldn't just allow the situation to end like this, not with an innocent child involved. Does that satisfy you?" unsure of what else to say, she just ended her explanation and then turned back to her mirror to finish getting ready for dinner. It was difficult to explain how she felt, because she hadn't entirely forgiven him for his actions and she wasn't sure how she felt about him, their relationship, or the situation as a whole, but as a mother, in the moment, she'd felt strongly enough about the situation before her to say something, so she had, it was that simple.

Walking up behind his wife and placing his hands on her shoulders, JR made eye contact with her reflection in the mirror and then spoke, "yes darlin', and I love you for thinking that way, you're truly a much better person than I am…" Flinching uncomfortably as his hands touched her shoulders, Sue Ellen gave him a weak, unconvincing smile and then moved to stand up and walk away; his whole demeanour was too much for her right now, she couldn't deal with the assumed normalcy in their relationship, not when she was so conflicted about how she actually felt. "I'm ready for dinner", wanting to get away from the privacy of the bedroom and into a more public space, she hurriedly spoke and then walked toward the door and as she did, she silently confirmed her considerations from the previous night. It was too much to be close to JR right now, pretending that things were ok, because they weren't, not entirely; so, for the foreseeable future, she would sleep alone in the guest room, she needed time to think and consider everything.

To be continued…


	320. Parental Disappointment

**Dallas, Texas**

Getting ready for bed, after another awkward evening in the Ewing household, the conversation between Jock and Ellie Ewing inevitably turned toward the eldest Ewing son and his marital problems. "…they're adults Jock, you have to let them work things out on their own, which in their own, backwards way, they are, I'm sure of it. Sue Ellen has an appointment with Doctor Williams tomorrow and from my own personal experience observing her after those sessions, that man has a way of calming her and bringing a little bit of clarity to her life. I don't like their sleeping separation and distant relationship any more than you do, however, I do understand why she's acting this way and I would much prefer that they stay in separate bedrooms across the hall from each other than have to come to terms with the fact that she's left Southfork, or worse, Dallas. Sue Ellen loves John Ross and I know for a fact that it's written into Texan conservatorship law that the mother is the favoured primary caregiver, therefore, if she did leave JR and this ranch, so long as she filed the right paperwork, the law would be on her side and there wouldn't be much we could do about it. Now, I'm not saying that that's going to happen, and I truly hope that it doesn't, because it would break my heart to see that little baby taken off Southfork, I know it would, I still remember the pain of losing Lucy and even that was only briefly…" Getting lost in her sadness for a moment, she then snapped back into reality and continued, "…this isn't about Lucy though and as much as I would hate to see John Ross leave Southfork, I will not stand for a repeat of that situation".

"All I'm really trying to say is that JR and Sue Ellen are both adults and until a point in time comes where the situation is so dire that mediation is needed, or they ask for assistance, I believe that we should stay out of their issues. I know it's not entirely fair for me to say that, I know that I was heavily involved in their last separation and I know that JR probably never would have made the moves to fix things the way he did then if you hadn't spoken to him, however, things are different now. Sue Ellen is a stronger woman now than she was back then and I truly believe that although JR's past actions are catching up to him again and it's disappointing that he acted that way in the past, he's also a different man now, and together, they're well capable of communicating and solving their own issues. Us getting involved right now may be more counterproductive than productive and I don't want to risk our efforts backfiring; not having Sue Ellen or John Ross in our lives would be a horrible consequence and it's not a risk that I'm willing to take. Give it a little time, it's only been three days, the shock and confusion is still fresh for Sue Ellen, but as I said, she has a therapy appointment tomorrow and I heard her talking on the phone to her friend, arranging to see her sometime next week. I think she just needs a little time to come to terms with everything and make up her mind about how she feels, but I'm sure once she does, she'll realise that their relationship has been wonderful over the past few months and this situation is truly a consequence of JR's old life, not his new one". Finishing her somewhat pleading spiel of thoughts and hoping that he had actually been listening and considering what she was saying, Miss Ellie then waited for her husband to respond.

"Old JR…" muttering under his breath as his wife finished speaking, Jock's thoughts were a mixture of questions regarding JR's recent behaviour and worries about the possibility of not having his first and only grandson living on Southfork. Upon finding out about the possible consequences of JR's infidelity and misbehaviour, he had initially been very angry and ready to take almost immediate action against his eldest son; the only thing that had stopped, or paused, his actions was his wife's worried explanation and insistence that they wait until they had all the evidence to make a decision. Luckily for JR, the child hadn't been his and through ashamed explanation, he had managed to convince his father that when he recommitted to Sue Ellen months ago, he had been being truthful and had been faithful to that promise ever since, and if allowed a little time to make things right, he would do just that. Jock could tell that JR was worried about the morality clause in his contract, however, something in the way he spoke about Sue Ellen and John Ross convinced him that he truly did regret his past actions and had had best intentions when hiding the latest development from his wife, so for now, he was holding his final decision.

In addition to trusting that JR was telling the truth, that he had been doing his best and would continue to work hard to rebuild the trust in his marriage, Jock was also holding off making any moves on enforcing the contract for his and Ewing Oil's benefit. He couldn't deny that he needed JR at Ewing Oil, he was a skilled businessman and in the current economic climate, his different form of thinking was necessary; Ewing Oil was thriving under their joint leadership and he wasn't stupid enough to make a hasty decision and break that partnership. As well as in business, he didn't particularly want to deal with the personal ramifications of cutting ties between JR and the future presidency and ownership of Ewing Oil. He didn't want to have to explain the details to his wife, he didn't want to cause even more problems in JR and Sue Ellen's marriage by raising questions about JR's attitude and fidelity in recent months, he didn't want to risk losing John Ross and he didn't want to sit through any more awkward family meals. So, for now, because of his own concerns and after listening to his wife beg him to stay out of it, at least until it was necessary to get involved, he would do just that; his interference wouldn't be worth its consequences right now. That being said though, there was nothing stopping him from having a strong word with JR. "Fine, I'll give them a little time to sort it on their own, however, if I so much as suspect that things are worsening and there's a chance that Sue Ellen is considering leaving this ranch with John Ross, do not expect me to stand by and do nothing. I do not approve of married Ewing men behaving this way and I will not have my grandson being raised anywhere but Southfork…" not expanding on his threat, he ended their conversation as he finished speaking, nodded and then walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He would be watching JR even more closely for now on, but for now, his eldest son was safe.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: The law Miss Ellie said was referring to is called **_**tender years doctrine**_**. In short, it basically says that the mother is the preferential parent for primary custody of a child is the mother. Texas had this in their law until 1974.**


	321. The Heart of the Matter

**Dallas, Texas**

"…I don't really know how I'm supposed to feel or even what I actually do feel, because I want to forgive him and I want to accept that the way he's been acting for the past nine months has been real and this whole situation was just a horrible reminder of the old JR, but I'm not sure anymore. Yes, he's been a wonderful husband lately and yes, I can see both his reasoning for why he hid this from me and why that woman sought him out and attempted to gain something from their one-off encounter last year, but I find myself questioning this situation as part of a bigger picture, our marriage, our life together. How do I just forgive and move on when I'm constantly reminded of the way things used to be? How do we move past this situation when it's happened once and there's no guarantee that it won't happen again? That isn't something JR can fix or guarantee, but it's also something that I don't want to have to continue dealing with and I resent having to deal with. This isn't a fair situation and it may be selfish or childish to say that I just don't want to deal with it, but really, I shouldn't have to; I've been a good wife, I shouldn't have to deal with these issues, they never should have been issues in the first place. I hate feeling this way about the future and I hate that this whole situation has brought all of my sleeping thoughts back into my mind. I don't want to question my husband's fidelity, because rationally, I don't believe that he would cheat on me again now; I do believe we moved past our main issues, however, the doubts and questions are back and I hate that they affect me so much. I love JR and I don't even want to think about my life without him; I want our son to grow up with two parents who openly love, trust and care for each other, but how can I be married to him when all of these other things keep popping up and chipping away at the trust in our relationship? How can I forgive him and move on from the hurt and humiliation of this situation when there's no guarantee that this whole thing won't just keep happening again and again?" sighing as she finished speaking, Sue Ellen looked at Doctor Williams despairingly and waited for him to respond. Over the past week, her life had gone from wonderful to terrible and she was having a hard time dealing with and understanding her emotions; she wanted and needed guidance and she was seeking it, because she wouldn't allow herself to fall back into the weak, depressed state she had found herself falling into in their early marriage.

Considering everything, Doctor Williams waited a moment before responding, voicing his original and most prevalent thought throughout Sue Ellen's speech, a thought that had been on his mind since the moment she entered his office months ago. "Sue Ellen, you have every right to feel the way you do and you have every right, as a wife and as a person, to question what happens from this point on and how things are really going to change for the better, because your thoughts are correct, it is difficult to rebuild trust after an event like this. It's not at all unexpected or wrong for you to feel this way or for you to want to fix it but not know how. What you need to understand though is that although you should be one hundred percent invested in creating and living a good relationship with your husband, you're only fifty percent of the relationship equation and if you're putting one hundred percent effort in, but JR isn't doing the same, it's going to be very difficult to feel satisfied and equal. I want you to reconsider marriage counselling. Now, I know we've discussed it before, briefly, and you mentioned that JR was happy enough for you to work through your feelings in therapy, so long as he didn't have to do anything, and up to a certain point, that was a satisfactory agreement, it wasn't completely supportive, but it was far from discouraging, however, you need more now. You and JR need to work through the issues you each have, as individuals and in your marriage, and you need to work through those issues together. From what you've told me of your marriage and the way you two have worked through issues in the past, he has a tendency to apologise and make promises and you have a tendency to want to believe and trust him, so you accept his apologies and promises more easily than perhaps you should. Now, I'm not saying that his apologies and promises aren't genuine or that you shouldn't ever forgive him, however, I do think that some more serious conversations need to be had; you need a safe space to air your grievances and together, as a team, you need to find common ground and come up with a plan for the future. You cannot do this alone and you cannot keep struggling through issues alone or almost alone like you have in the past. It probably won't be pleasant and it won't be simple, because your concerns about not having any guarantee that this won't happen again are perfectly valid, however, you also need to learn how to deal with those thoughts and not let them constantly nag and hurt you. Remember, you cannot control other people and you cannot change the past, but you can control how you react to situations and move forward in after those things happen. I really do think that in order to help you move forward in regard to your thoughts and concerns about this issue, both you and JR need to engage in some form of marriage counselling". Looking at her seriously, but empathetically, he waited for her to respond, unsure of how she would react, though from listening to her explain her current state of mind and reading her facial expression, he could tell that she was up for just about anything right now; she wanted clarity and answers and marriage counselling could help her find those.

"I'll talk to JR", feeling defeated, Sue Ellen sighed and agreed; Doctor Williams was right, her issues weren't solely _her_ issues and without really communicating with JR, nothing would drastically change; it wasn't a fun reality to face, but she understood it and was prepared to do what it took to change things, even if it was uncomfortable. "Good", nodding, Doctor Williams gave her an encouraging smile and then changed the topic slightly; they could continue their one-on-one session more easily now that they'd come to an agreement.

To be continued…


	322. Pleading

**Dallas, Texas**

"No", responding to his wife's proposal with just one word, JR almost instantly felt bad as her face dropped; it was obvious that she was disappointed and sad, but even seeing her that way didn't really convince him to change his mind. Therapy was something he allowed her to do because she felt that she needed it and it did seem to help her, so naturally, only wanting the best for her, he supported that and wasn't going to deliberately stop her from going. However, his participation in her sessions was never something that they discussed or agreed upon, and from everything she had told him in the past and what she was describing to him now, marriage counselling wasn't something he was particularly interested in participating in and honestly, the idea of counselling in general was just completely out of his comfort zone. "But JR…" responding in a slightly whiny tone, but hearing herself speak and not wanting to portray herself as weak and immature like that, Sue Ellen then paused and recentred herself, "tell me why. Tell me why you won't come with me", surely there had to be some reason for his abrupt response.

Not having wanted to start a fight or upset her, JR sighed; how was he supposed to explain his feelings? Especially when he didn't even truly know or understand them himself. Apart from his conversations with Sue Ellen that centred around their life together, and his very brief conversations with his mother about marriage and Sue Ellen's overall wellbeing, he'd really never discussed his feelings with anyone, it just wasn't how he'd been raised or something he felt necessary to do. "I don't want to go to marriage counselling because I don't see any reason to. Why do we need some stranger to help us through this? Why can't you and I just sit down by ourselves and have a conversation? We're talking right now and as much as you think that nothing can change when it's just between us, I don't believe that's true; I'm willing to listen, apologise and show you that everything I've promised you is the truth, but to do that and to know what you really want from me, we need to have a real conversation. I just don't see why we have to involve a marriage counsellor in our business, especially when you're telling me that Doctor Williams will happily conduct the session for us. I'm sure that man thinks I'm the devil incarnate and honestly, I deal with enough people like that at work, so if I don't have to, then I'd really rather not enter a situation in my personal life where I'm automatically seen as the bad guy. I'm telling you, I want time alone with you to explain everything, but you're not listening and brushing over that offer in favour of one that just seems more complicated and frankly, puts us on uneven ground". Covering part of his cautiousness with a defensive argument, he wasn't entirely lying to her when he confessed his fears; he did think it was silly to have a third person interjecting their opinion into his and Sue Ellen's marriage, but more than silliness, he was a little afraid of being told what he already knew. Deep down, he knew that he'd done wrong in hiding things from her and he had a lot of making up to do for his past actions, and on top of those two things, there would always be the question of what the future held for them, especially in regard to other women and children coming out of the woodwork. He knew that she was upset about a lot of things and rightfully so, he had messed up and it was time for him to take responsibility for his actions and he was prepared to do just that; he just didn't understand why they needed to go to marriage counselling to come to an agreement and better their emotional position. He couldn't guarantee anything about the future, but he could try and promise to be the best man, husband and father he could be, and he wanted Sue Ellen to understand that, but from her discouraged expression, he could tell that they weren't exactly on the same page.

"Firstly, Doctor Williams is a very fair man, he wouldn't just make an uninformed judgement about our marriage and what we should do in order to fix some of our problems, he would listen to both of us and ask us questions so that we come to conclusions together; he's very good at that kind of thing, allowing me to find the answers myself rather than him just telling me. Secondly, he offered his services to us because I'm already his patient and I'm comfortable with him, but also probably because he's in business just like you are, he needs repeat customers. He never said that that was our only option though, he never said that_ he_ was our only option, so, if that's what you're worried about, then don't be, we can find another marriage counsellor, one who neither of us has any history with, therefore neither of us is in a better or worse position than the other. As for why I want us to see a marriage counsellor instead of just figuring things out on our own; all I want is a third, helpful opinion, someone to guide our conversations so that we can get through this instead of fighting or ignoring each other. I love you, even after all of this; what I don't love is the way all of this has made me feel though, and I don't love the thoughts and doubts that keep coming into my mind. I want clarity, apologies, solid plans and promises and I want to know that to the best of your ability, this will never happen again and if it does, it won't ruin us; I want all of those things, but I want them to be real and serious, not just something that you say to appease me. I honestly believe that marriage counselling can and will help us, because my sessions with Doctor Williams so far have been insightful and have really boosted my confidence; there's something about having a third party perspective that's enlightening, in a good way; for that reason, I really do think it would help. A therapist doesn't judge you or tell you how to do things, they mostly just guide you to help you to find the answers yourself, so essentially, we have the same goal, I just want us to have a little outside help to achieve that goal faster. I don't want you to feel like this is a punishment though, I want you to come because you honestly want to fix and improve our marriage and I want you to come because you want to come, not because I nagged you and you just gave in. Please JR, please just consider it", looking at him pleadingly, dropping her tougher attitude in favour for something more vulnerable, the way she actually felt, she stood in front of him and waited. It was a longshot, but if he loved her and truly wanted to fix things, then surely he would agree to do something she was asking; after all, she was only asking because she loved him and wanted to fix their marriage. They had the same goals, they just had slightly different perspectives on how to achieve those goals.

To be continued…


	323. Conversations

**Arlington, Texas**

"…well, he said he'd go, but the jury is still out on whether that means he's one hundred percent on board with the idea or whether he just recognized that this was important to me and didn't want to cause any further problems for us. I don't believe that he actually means to upset me, I think he just doesn't completely consider how his actions will affect me before he does them, so in this instance, when I made it clear that I had a strong need and want for us to do this and his refusal would upset me, he understood and agreed. Still though, understanding, agreeing and not wanting to cause further problems doesn't necessarily equate to truly wanting to be involved. I'm going to give him a chance to prove himself though, because I know that if I question his motives right now, he'll get defensive about it and try to talk his way out of going. All I want is for him to attend with me and for us to work through our issues together; I want us to strengthen our marriage, and if staying silent right now is what will get him to the appointment and into the correct mental space to really make progress, then that's what I'll do". Finishing her brief overview, Sue Ellen took a sip of her iced tea, looked at Paula with wide, expectant eyes and waited for her response; her friend was sure to tell her exactly how she perceived the situation, she was very honest and direct like that.

"Men…" shaking her head as Sue Ellen finished speaking, Paula mumbled to herself, paused for a moment and then looked directly at Sue Ellen. "I've met JR and I've heard a lot of stories about him, so I know that even getting him to agree to this must have been a huge achievement for you. I'm proud of you for not giving up on what you wanted, that shows that you are strong and you are just as much an important part of the relationship as he is; it's wonderful to hear that you even got this far with him. Now, I think your concerns about his motives are probably correct, because in my experience and from my understanding of your relationship, men like JR Ewing weren't raised to talk things through in such a calm way, not with their wives and especially not with a therapist. Because of that, if he has agreed to do this, even just because he loves you and doesn't want to lose you, not because he actually wants to get a third party perspective on the whole situation, then that's still a start. I can't tell you that it's going to be perfect or that he'll just automatically see the light when you get there, because he probably won't, however, with your determination and his slight willingness, I think you can do it, and I really hope that you can do it, together". Deciding not to be too critical of Sue Ellen's marriage, especially when she seemed to need support, not complete brutal honesty about JR's possible negative or selfish motives, Paula patted Sue Ellen's hand and smiled at her; JR Ewing could be a louse sometimes, even when he didn't mean to be, however, it wasn't really helpful to emphasise that. Feeling a little better about the situation, but still knowing that it was what it was and she couldn't necessarily control any more than she already did, Sue Ellen smiled at her friend and thanked her; it was nice to get confirmation that her feelings were valid but all hope for the future wasn't lost.

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR", motioning his eldest son into the downstairs office, Jock Ewing's expression remained impassive; he and JR needed to have a serious talk, but that didn't mean the rest of the family and staff needed to know that that's what they were going inside to do. "Daddy", closing the door behind him, JR walked over to the drinks cabinet and poured two drinks, it was a customary and almost automatic action, especially in rooms that were designated as offices. Thanking JR as he handed him the drink, Jock cleared his throat and then spoke, "JR, I'll make this quick because it's the weekend and we all have our own things to do, but I want you to give me some answers before we leave this office. Understood?" Not entirely sure what exactly he was supposed to be agreeing to and giving answers about, JR simply nodded and confirmed that he understood, "yes daddy", arguing with his father was not something he wanted to do, especially not now, not with the tenseness in their relationship. "Good. Now, I'm sure you're well aware, but John Ross is only three and a half months old, there are still another eighteen years until the time comes where it will be acceptable for him to move out of this house, temporarily of course, for college, not because he's taken after his uncle and disgraced the Ewing family…" Getting lost in annoyed thoughts about Gary, he paused for a moment before continuing, "…from what I understand of the situation between you and Sue Ellen right now though is that all is not well in your marriage. Now, I don't disagree that she has reason to be sleeping in the guest room, your actions were particularly despicable and your wife is not the only one that is disappointed and angry that you acted that way, however, I know that's in the past and you've supposedly changed, so I'll let that go for now. What I want to know though is how you plan on getting your wife back in your bedroom, your marriage back on track and stopping any possibility of Southfork losing John Ross as a resident. Your mother informs me that the law would be on your wife's side if she decided to leave you and take John Ross with her; I know we're Ewings and I know we have a lot of connections and we're not afraid to use them, but frankly, I want to stop any of this before it gets to that point. You've lost your wife and son once before and I do not wish for any of us to go through that again. So, as I said before, I want to know what your plan is to get Sue Ellen back in your life as your loving, supportive, loved and supported wife and I want to know it now. No 'I'm working on it' vague statements, I want to know your concrete plan", looking directly at his eldest son, Jock finished speaking and waited for a response.

More than slightly annoyed by his father's bossy, demanding tone, JR found himself replying in a harsher tone than was probably wise or normal for their interactions, "I have the situation under control, but thank you for your _concern_", sneering the word 'concern', he continued speaking. "Sue Ellen and I will be getting professional help for our marriage and I intend to make good on the promises I've made her, because I know what I did was wrong and hurtful, but I have changed and I do want to make things better. As for John Ross, neither he nor Sue Ellen will be leaving Southfork any time soon. I can't give you a concrete plan, because it's not all up to me, Sue Ellen and I are equals, but believe me, I know what I'm doing; I'm listening to my wife's needs and wants and I think it will be good for us. I'd appreciate if you would just trust me on this though; I know I messed up and I know that I have a lot of work to do to make things right again, but I don't need constant reminders of that, so I'd appreciate a little space to work things out". Finishing his statement more calmly than he had begun, but still remaining firm, he finished his drink and waited for confirmation that their conversation was over, for now. "You make sure you do just that…" not elaborating on the deeper motivations behind his statement, Jock nodded and accepted JR's response; he'd replied in a somewhat rude manner, however, if he was fired up about this, then that held promise that he was motivated to actually get the job done and make things right. There would be no more chances after this, but if JR insisted that things were on their way to working out, then he had to trust him, just this once, he didn't really have any other choices right now.

To be continued…


	324. Introductory Session

**Dallas, Texas**

"Success. Let's talk about that for a moment… Being successful is important to you, yes?" observing JR Ewing as he nodded, almost confusedly, as if he didn't quite understand what was going on, Doctor Williams then continued, "tell me why?" Taking a long pause in-between hearing the question and responding, JR looked at the good doctor and then at his wife who was watching him calmly, just waiting for him to answer, as if the question wasn't completely random. "Why? What do you mean why? What kind of question is that? Who in this world doesn't want to be successful? Of course, not everyone is successful and not everyone has the ability to be successful, but that doesn't mean that those who can't don't still want it…" answering the question with more questions, genuinely confused by the subject matter, he felt completely lost when Doctor Williams simply nodded and scribbled a few notes down on the notepaper in his lap. "What are you writing?" leaning forward, even though the angle didn't really help him to see anything, he grew more confused and frustrated when Doctor Williams just smiled and answered in the most basic way, "I'm noting your response to the question". What did Sue Ellen see in this man? He was so elusive and calm; frankly, it just struck him as weird that the doctor seemed to lack any true reaction to things. So far, marriage counselling had been a very odd experience, one he didn't really understand and had yet to see the point to. They hadn't even really spoken about marriage yet, in fact, everything they had discussed so far had been very open-ended and vague.

"Success as a concept is related to the achievement of goals or accomplishing something bigger and better than what is considered average. You said it yourself, everyone, or at least most people, want to be successful. What I want to know is what this means to you? For example, different things motivate different people: money, power, happiness, respect, reputation, legacy, expectation, revenge, even just the thrill of winning; there are many more motivators, some broad and others very narrow and personal. What I'm asking is for you to think about what drives you to want to be successful? Success is obviously important, but there has to be a reason why, especially since you are a very successful man", explaining a little but leaving JR to think and then respond, Doctor Williams observed both JR and Sue Ellen as JR considered everything. "I'm sorry, I don't think I quite understand what's going on here. Are we not gathered here today for marriage counselling? What does any of that have to do with marriage?" holding off on answering the question until he had a few answers of his own, JR then stared at Doctor Williams and waited, once again sighing in frustration at his calm, unaffected nature; how did he manage to respond to hostility with such neutrality? "You're right, this is a marriage counselling session, however, in order to help you and Sue Ellen with the problems you face as individuals and as a married couple, I first have to understand you, but more importantly, you both have to have a deeper understanding of yourselves and of each other. If you and Sue Ellen were two completely new patients, I would pitch these sorts of questions to both of you in this first session, however, as Sue Ellen and I have been working together for a few months now, she's already answered a few of the standard questions, so naturally, more time is spent on getting to know you. Now, that doesn't mean this is all about you and not at all about Sue Ellen, it's not, and you're not being excluded from hearing her answer questions either; you'll both have a chance to speak and discuss, but right now, we're talking about you. Think of this as an introductory meeting, one where we simply talk and get a feeling for the situation rather than anything where we're really working at creating an action plan. Does that make more sense?" looking JR in the eye as he spoke, Doctor Williams smiled slightly when he noticed JR's expression changing; it was obvious that JR Ewing liked to be in control and situations where he wasn't made him uncomfortable, but if he could be reassured with basic, truthful explanations, then all hope was not lost.

"Yes, I suppose so", nodding, JR accepted the doctor's answer and then paused, considering the question that he'd been asked. What drove him? Why did he want to be successful? Taking a breath, he then answered as honestly as he could, "to answer your question, all of those things you listed, all of those things drive me. I want to be successful because I enjoy the wealth, reputation and thrill that winning and being successful brings me. I am expected to be successful because I am a Ewing and Ewings are winners and have a legacy and reputation to uphold and I will not be the one to ruin that. As well as those things, I want my family, especially my wife and son, to be proud of me. I want my son to feel the same way about my legacy as I do about my father's legacy; I want John Ross to want to emulate and continue my success, and in order to have that happen, I have to be the best, do the best and give him the best. My success is not just my success, it doesn't just affect me, it affects everyone around me, so naturally, I have to be a very driven man, there are a lot of people watching and judging me and I do not and will not disappoint them". Driven not only by ego but also by pride and love, JR delivered his answer strongly and was surprised when Sue Ellen's hand moved toward his. His answer hadn't really centred around her, but she obviously appreciated his dedication to being a good father to their son and he knew that she understood what he meant when he spoke of his success being for a group larger than just himself. Scribbling down a few notes, Doctor Williams smiled inwardly; the two Ewings had a lot of work ahead of them if they truly wanted to fix the underlying issues in their relationship, however, their introductory session was proving to be a success, so he held high hopes for the future; it wouldn't be easy, but it was definitely possible.

To be continued…


	325. Realisation

**Dallas, Texas**

"How did you feel about that? Honestly", leaving Doctor Williams' office after another half hour of conversation, Sue Ellen looked at her husband and spoke. For her, it really hadn't been a bad appointment, she was comfortable with Doctor Williams and she understood why he asked certain questions, especially ones that seemed irrelevant, however, she also remembered how she'd felt during her first session and it wasn't all positive, so she wanted to get a feeling of JR's opinion. They were attending marriage counselling in an attempt find a way to repair the cracks in their relationship, especially in regard to rebuilding trust, but before they really started discussing the issues specific to marriage, they first had to explore their own personal histories, including their motivations and fears. She understood and didn't mind Doctor Williams' somewhat intrusive style, because there was always a point to his questions, however, just because she was comfortable didn't necessarily mean JR felt the same way and she really needed and wanted to know that he was still on board with the whole thing. It wouldn't do their marriage any good if marriage counselling was viewed as a negative event; she wanted him to get as much out of it as she was and she wanted it to be a success, but for that to happen, she knew that she couldn't just overpower the conversation and ignore his opinion; their opinions were equally important.

"Honestly? I thought it was rude and intrusive for a stranger to ask the sorts of questions he did and I think that man needs to think long and hard about who is in control here, I am paying for his services after all, not the other way around. What does my relationship with my mama and daddy when I was a child have to do with our marriage? What does my opinion on success and successful people have to do with marriage? What does the pressure of running a multimillion-dollar company have to do with marriage? I thought we were here to discuss you and me, and our marriage, not analyse my life prior to meeting and marrying you or prior to any of the problems we've faced in our marriage? I didn't particularly care for his answering style either, he wasn't in-depth enough about his intentions for my liking; I felt like I was being tricked into spilling information that I wouldn't have otherwise told him; I don't like that, I don't like feeling like I'm being taken advantage of. I'm JR Ewing, I'm always in control, but he didn't seem to grasp that… well actually, he did, but instead of respecting it, he just ignored it and started asking more questions; I don't appreciate that". Exiting the building as he finished airing his main frustrations, JR observed his wife's expression and was both surprised and almost a little annoyed when he saw something more than concern on her face, she looked amused. "What's so funny? You asked for my opinion, I gave it to you, and I don't see anything amusing about the intrusive nature of this so-called marriage counselling", stopping as they reached his car, he looked directly at her and waited for an answer.

"Oh JR… I'm amused because my first reaction to the personal questions was much like yours; I didn't understand why a perfect stranger would think it was any of his business or his place to ask me such things, so I understand exactly how you feel right now. That being said, now that I've been through these types of sessions with Doctor Williams and I feel like I've made some progress, I understand why he does what he does and why he doesn't ever change the way he approaches things. He wants you to think and analyse, he wants you to look at yourself more deeply than you ordinarily would and he wants you to find the answers to your problems within yourself rather than having someone else dictate them to you. He's trying to get inside your head to teach you how to cope with problems and think about things in a different way when you're outside of his office. Does that make sense?" hoping that his opinion of marriage counselling so far didn't mean that he was officially turned off and no longer interested in attending with her, she waited for his response.

Unimpressed, JR grumbled a few words in response, "mhm, makes sense. Doesn't mean I like it any better. I don't enjoy being questioned about things that, in my opinion, are irrelevant to what we're actually paying that man to help us with. I don't believe that he needs to deeply understand my relationship with daddy before he can help us with our marriage. Daddy has nothing to do with our marriage and I'm a grown man who can make decisions about personal and business affairs without considering daddy first", scowling as he considered the idea that the doctor felt he was that incompetent, his mood darkened further when Sue Ellen let out a small giggle. "Sue Ellen…" speaking in a warning tone, he glared at her, "it's not funny and I don't appreciate you laughing. You may understand and enjoy the stupid questions and ridiculous self-analysation, but I don't". Despite being a little hurt by his tone of voice, one that reminded her of an adult disciplining a child rather than two equals having a conversation and disagreement, Sue Ellen also empathised with his words; he honestly seemed upset by her amusement, but her intention hadn't been to hurt him, she'd honestly just found his claim a little odd. "I'm sorry JR, I didn't mean to make light of your feelings. I do however have to ask you whether that's how you truly feel? Do you really believe that your daddy has no influence over your business or personal decisions? Now, before you get upset again, I don't mean it in a bad way, as if you shouldn't respect your daddy, but honestly, sometimes it does feel as if I'm married to multiple people; don't you ever feel the same way? First we had my mama interfering in our relationship when we were dating, then everyone was asking questions about engagement and marriage; then it was all about children; then when I was pregnant and still, now, the comments are all about future of Ewing Oil and the part both you and John Ross play in all of that. There are a lot of opinions to deal with and I assumed you felt the same way, so when you said that your daddy didn't have anything to do with our marriage, I found it slightly amusing; I'm sorry if I upset you though, I didn't mean to". Genuinely meaning what she said, but also calculatingly knowing that she'd never get JR back to marriage counselling if he had completely negative thoughts attached to his experience, she apologised; she hadn't intended to hurt his feelings, it had been an accident, so she didn't mind apologising, even if she was still upset with him in a general sense.

Considering her apology and explanation for a moment, JR sighed to himself, she was right, they did hear a lot of opinions in their life together and he did take his father's words to heart and try to please him as best he could, and pretending otherwise was silly. As everything fell into place in his mind, he sighed again, "fine. I still don't like Doctor Williams or consider the questions about my relationship with daddy prior to meeting you to be particularly related to our marriage, but I suppose you're right, our marriage does often feel like it's more than just the two of us and John Ross. We do receive opinions and feedback from all angles, so I suppose some of the questions that man was asking about my parents do have a purpose and he's not just being nosy. Again though, just because they have a purpose, doesn't mean I like them or feel comfortable answering them. I know that you feel it's necessary, so I'll keep going to these sessions, for you, but I do wish that it could just be you and I sometimes, not just in our lives, but in problem solving too". Taking a chance, he hinted toward dropping out of marriage counselling in favour of an honest talk between themselves, though as he saw her expression, he knew she wasn't going to change her mind. Looking at him with one eyebrow raised, Sue Ellen shook her head and then smiled mischievously. In a way, although he wanted to stop going to marriage counselling, she had still won a small part of the battle; she and Doctor Williams had helped JR to realise something about himself that he hadn't noticed before, and as long as she approached it correctly, they'd soon be on the road to recovery, at least she hoped so. "Thank you, and I'm proud of you", leaning forward, she gave him a light kiss on the cheek and then continued to speak, "I'd like us to continue to attend these sessions. However, that being said, I'm hearing what you're saying and I'm listening, so, if you're being completely honest right now and you're really willing to try to work on our relationship, outside of Doctor Williams' office, then I'd like to try that too. I won't be moving back into our bedroom until I'm ready and I wouldn't expect any highly intimate displays of affection if I were you, I'm still upset about everything that has happened and it's going to take me a while before I make any drastic decisions either way, hence why I want us to keep attending these sessions. As I said though, if you're really willing to try and change things now, then I'm listening and receptive". Staying firm in her position, but also showing him that their marriage wasn't a lost cause and she wasn't completely set on being mad at him forever, just until he earned back her trust and respect, she then motioned toward the car and waited for him to open her door for her, and being a gentleman, he did just that. Waiting for her to get in and then closing the door, JR found himself a little confused as to how their conversation had ended, though he knew that whatever had just happened couldn't have been all bad, because for the first time in weeks, he felt hopeful; they could and would work through their issues, he just felt it.

To be continued…


	326. Explanation

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR", without knocking, Jock Ewing opened the door to his eldest son's office and entered, abruptly closing the door behind him and walking toward a slightly startled and confused looking JR. "Daddy?" looking up from the geographical reports he had been reading, JR waited for his father to tell him whatever it was that he was annoyed about, because from the way he'd entered the room, it was clear that something was bothering him. "JR, I want to know what you're planning on doing every Tuesday and Friday at eleven in the morning for the foreseeable future and what all of the locational conditions about meeting scheduling on those days are all about. You're the vice president of this company and that position comes with certain responsibilities, one of which is having a high level of flexibility and availability to work wherever and whenever Ewing Oil needs you to. We have meetings with important people and sometimes we need to work around their schedules, you know that, and I'll give you credit where it's due, you're normally very good at that, but when Julie comes into my office to clarify meeting changes because you're swanning off somewhere secretive and therefore aren't available when I need you, that concerns me. What also concerns me is the fact that even Diane wasn't able to give me much more than a list of meeting scheduling dos and don'ts for those days and an explanation that the time was marked down as 'early lunch'. Now, I know that sometimes we don't tell our secretaries everything, but as much as I want to just trust that you're doing whatever you need to and it's all above board, I need to ask you directly, because I need to know". Pausing for a moment as he looked at JR expectantly, he finished speaking, "so, what do you have to say for yourself?"

A little annoyed that his father was essentially implying that he couldn't be trusted to leave the office on his own, JR sighed and then decided that with the state his father was in right now, honesty was probably the best policy, because he wasn't doing anything wrong and making excuses was silly and unnecessary. Taking a deep breath, he looked at his father and then spoke, "well daddy, I'm doing exactly what you told me to do; I'm working on bettering my life, my marriage, John Ross' future and the future of Ewing Oil". Seeing that his father wasn't pleased with a vague explanation, he then made it very clear what he was intending to do on Tuesday and Friday mornings, "Sue Ellen and I have begun marriage counselling. We're booked to attend twice a week and I intend to use the break time I am legally entitled to to attend those sessions; I'll just take that lunch break an hour earlier than I usually would and any other breaks I just won't take. I'm well within my legal rights to do so, especially since half the time I'm at work I don't even take a break because I'm so busy, because, as you said, my job does demand long hours. Now, I don't enjoy you implying that I'm untrustworthy, because I have changed and I have been a good man this past year because I've wanted to be, not just because you have me in a tough legal position with that contractual clause. You could get rid of that contract tomorrow and I would still be a faithful, loving husband to my wife, because despite all of the bad things that have happened to us over the past few months, I have changed and I do realise that I was a fool to ever mistreat Sue Ellen. I don't want to discuss changing the contract right now though, because that's not the point of this discussion; my main point was that I wasn't purposely hiding my planned activities from you, I just didn't particularly want it written down for everyone to see, because it's no one else's business what I do in my lunch break. But as I said, I wasn't purposely hiding it from you, which is why I'm explaining it to you honestly. I'm not ashamed of what Sue Ellen and I have planned, but I also don't care to publicise our private business". Giving as deep of an explanation as he was prepared to freely give without specifically being asked for the details, he then looked at his father and waited for his response.

Grumbling to himself as he listened to JR's explanation, Jock knew he was stuck. On one hand, JR was right, he had told him to fix his marriage and legally, he was entitled to a lunch break during the day, so he couldn't stop him from getting that help in that time, even if he would have preferred him to be available for Ewing Oil business. On the other hand, he wasn't particularly comfortable with the method JR had chosen to fix his marriage and he really didn't appreciate that it was inevitably going to end up interfering in JR's work schedule in some way. It was a good thing that JR was making choices to do better, but did they really have to be so inconvenient for everyone but he and Sue Ellen? "Marriage counselling? What do you need that for? Women like gifts, sweet-talking and promises that their husbands actually intend to keep. You can do those things without spilling the secrets of the Ewing family to an outsider. What do we even know about this man? and if you must go to him, why does it have to be at such an inconvenient time? Did you not offer him enough money to work weekends?" annoyed by the general situation and not caring too much whether JR knew it, Jock huffed to himself in annoyance and then looked at his eldest son expectantly. He wanted more answers, even if it seemed unreasonable to ask for them, especially since JR had just explained his position quite clearly.

"Daddy, it is what it is. Sue Ellen wanted us to go to marriage counselling, I protested for a while and then I gave in, because it makes her happy and honestly, it's really not as bad as you'd think. Yes, that man can be nosy and it can be irritating to tell him everything without getting anything in return like I would in business, but apparently that's just how these things work. As for who he is, I ran a background check before Sue Ellen started seeing him; he appears to be an upstanding member of society, and since he's a doctor, he's bound by the Hippocratic Oath, he cannot tell anyone our private information and I will crush him if he does, I made that very clear. As for the times and days, in general, I agree and I tried, however, apparently not everyone works the same hours that we do here at Ewing Oil and apparently it shows dedication and commitment on my part to take time out of my work day to do something for my wife. If it makes her happy, then I'll do it, because although it may seem a little inconvenient now, it's all for the greater good. I want to rebuild my marriage with my wife and if that requires sacrifice on my part, then I'll do it, and you have to deal with it. As I said before though, it's not really taking anything away from Ewing Oil, I'll still be here and available, just not during those couple of hours each week; the secretaries know now, so it won't be a problem for future meeting scheduling. Don't worry, I have everything under control and I am working toward the future that everyone wants", finishing his explanation just as his intercom buzzed and he received notification of his next meeting, JR felt good; ending the conversation at that point meant that he'd explained himself clearly without fighting and he was able to have the last word. He didn't want Doctor Williams and Sue Ellen to be entirely right, he didn't want to have his father's opinion overpower everything he thought on his own. Hearing who JR's next meeting was with and knowing that it was more important than their current conversation, Jock accepted JR's answer, gruffly responding, "fine. This conversation isn't over though, there are a few more things I'd like to discuss with you tonight", looking at his watch, conscious of JR's next meeting, Jock then motioned toward the door and both men left the office, walking out into the reception area, ready to do business.

To be continued…


	327. Difficult Questions

**Dallas, Texas**

"…yes, common ground is very important in a relationship and it's especially important in situations that require an empathetic response. I'm pleased to hear both of you explaining and agreeing about your own and each other's personal situations". Smiling as he responded, Doctor Williams was pleased at the level of empathy and understanding JR and Sue Ellen had with each other on the topic of their childhoods. Each of them spoke about dealing with a parent who always expected the highest level of success and didn't stand for anything less, but when that success was realised, the praise was short-lived and soon forgotten as the pursuit of bigger and better things became the focus. As painful as each of their experiences had been, it was heart-warming to see the deep connection they held with each other on that subject and it gave him hope to see that they did have such love and empathy for each other. The two Ewings had a lot of problems to work through before their marriage was in a healthy state, and the sore subject of lying and infidelity was sure to cause a lot of tears and heartache when they did start to analyse and discuss it, but he hoped that somehow, their love for each other would help them through.

Watching as Doctor Williams noted a few things down, JR considered the conversation that had just occurred; he and Sue Ellen had always been very open with each other about the pressure they felt when it came to their parents and he felt lucky and blessed to have her in his life, it was nice to have someone who understood. As he thought about their shared experience, he then thought about a question the doctor had posed to him earlier in the session and had allowed him time to think and consider before requiring him to answer. Why was it that both he and Sue Ellen could put Patricia in her place when they felt that she was being demanding or disrespectful, but to do the same to his own father seemed unimaginable? Of course, no one really expected Sue Ellen to be the one to make the first move, not in the formal, gendered hierarchy of the Ewing family, but for JR, why was it so inconceivable to imagine him really telling his father how he felt? The first answers that came to mind were respect and admiration; Sue Ellen wanted to please her mother to ease the pain of disappointment and the lectures and mistreatment that came with not doing and being the best; but for him, it was so much more. Sue Ellen didn't want to be her mother or follow her path, she just wanted to please her mother by being and doing what she wanted, she was essentially just a living doll, manipulated to play a part in an imaginary life until eventually she met and married someone who was able to make that imaginary image a reality. Sue Ellen hadn't had it easy, she'd basically been raised knowing that she was just the ticket to a good life for Patricia, but at least Patricia was somewhat honest about her shallow, questionable motives, those qualities had made it easy for JR to bribe her into submissiveness until Sue Ellen was strong enough to stand up for herself. It wasn't ideal, but once she'd started to really believe that she was allowed to live for herself and have fun and goals that were independent of her husband, mother or son, she'd found strength within herself to make a change, but for JR and his relationship with his father, things were much more complicated.

There had been a clear life path for the life John Ross 'J.R.' Ewing, Jr. would live since the moment his parents found out that they were expecting a child. Naturally, his father, John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr., had assumed the unborn child was a male and with this belief had begun planning exactly what kind of life he wanted his son to live and what legacy he wanted to leave when he did retire and eventually pass on. In hindsight, it was clear to Jock's wife, Eleanor 'Miss Ellie' Ewing, that the plans they'd discussed and the parenting techniques they'd used, on all of their sons, were not necessarily the smartest or most successful things to do and had caused deep issues within the family, though explaining such a thing to her husband proved to be difficult. To Jock Ewing, there was nothing wrong with a son wanting and doing everything to please his father, especially when that was exactly what he was expected to do; JR was his eldest son, he would one day take his place in the family and he needed to be prepared for that in every way. JR had always known his place and he'd always strived to prove that he was worthy of that place, but because of the expectations put upon him by his father, his accomplishments were somehow less noteworthy than Bobby's, a fact that had damaged him from a very young age. Bobby was his father's favourite son for reasons unknown to JR, because despite doing better and more than Bobby, he never won, not really. Yes, he held a better position than Bobby within Ewing Oil, but sometimes he felt that it was only because tradition dictated that he, as his father's namesake and protégé, was entitled to the position of vice president, not because his father saw him as truly deserving of the job. He'd been learning from his father since he was a child and he really was the better oilman of the three Ewing brothers, but he'd always had a feeling that if Bobby's intellect and business skills had been in any way comparable to his own, he would have really had to fight for his rightful position within Ewing Oil.

He'd been particularly concerned about the hierarchy at Ewing Oil after Bobby graduated college, because being Jock's favourite son, Bobby had been given more opportunities and responsibilities than JR was comfortable with, so when he realised that Bobby's true talent lay in people pleasing, he'd worked hard to create a place for Bobby, one that didn't interfere in his business. He'd managed to manipulate things and create a plan that worked to everyone's advantage and then just months later, in an odd twist of events, brought on by his own bad behaviour, he'd managed to truly secure his position and future ownership of Ewing Oil; unfortunately, it had a condition attached to it that he was less than proud of. He hadn't told Sue Ellen about the morality clause in his contract and honestly, after really talking to her and thinking about what he'd done to hurt her, his motivation to be a good husband and man in general was almost entirely because he wanted to, not because he was obligated to. In business, he was in a great place, but in his personal life, he wasn't; he may have been making a lot of money for Ewing Oil, but when his wife no longer slept in the same bedroom as him and their marriage was clearly far from perfect and loving, he questioned everything. Thinking about his life, he knew that there were a lot of uncomfortable things he would eventually have to deal with, including his father's inherent unfairness and his wife's inevitable anger and upset if or when she did find out about his deal with his father, even if the contract had nothing to do with his actions now. Doctor Williams was pushing him for thoughts and answers and he knew that he couldn't just sit back and act as if certain things didn't bother him or were completely out of his control. It wasn't something he'd wanted to do, but in a way, therapy really was eye-opening and he couldn't say it was completely useless, because he was thinking about things in a different way than he had before.

"JR?" Doctor Williams' voice speaking his name brought him out of his thoughts, "have you thought of any further answers to the question yet?" circling back to their original conversation, Doctor Williams posed the question to JR and waited, observing him as he thought about it. Staying silent for a moment, JR considered how to put his thoughts into words. Why was it that both he and Sue Ellen could put Patricia in her place when they felt that she was being demanding or disrespectful, but to do the same to his own father seemed unimaginable? "Respect, fear, social position, everything really. Who am I if not John Ross Ewing Jr., son of Jock Ewing, heir to the Ewing business and fortune? My identity depends on making my father happy, it always has and it probably always will. So where Sue Ellen was pleasing Patricia for reasons of Patricia's selfishness and greed, I'm doing it for so much more, I'm doing it for my entire identity and life". Seeing no harm in explaining a little more about his life to get a second opinion, especially since they'd long broken the awkward intrusiveness barrier and had started to have conversations that were a little more open, JR began to speak, and as he did, he actually felt a little better. It wasn't fun to admit, but it was nice to be able to say it aloud without horrifying or offending someone; perhaps Sue Ellen was right when she said that therapy was liberating.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: I know I didn't really mention Gary, but don't worry, I didn't forget that he exists. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	328. Family Day Out

**Dallas, Texas**

"Thank you for doing this with me darlin'", feeling oddly content, despite the state of his marriage, JR thanked his wife as they wandered around the butterfly garden at the Heard Natural Science Museum &amp; Wildlife Sanctuary, a beautiful, two hundred and eighty nine acre wildlife sanctuary that was located just fifteen minutes from Southfork. "JR, just because you and I aren't on the best terms right now doesn't mean that John Ross should have to suffer. I like it when we spend time together as a family", honestly meaning what she said, Sue Ellen was also content. JR had approached her the previous evening in a way that was uncharacteristically shy for him, asking her politely if it would be possible for them to spending time alone together as a family of three the next day. Naturally, she had said yes, because she wasn't a terrible person and she wasn't purposely trying to punish anyone with their separation, least of all John Ross. She needed time to think and relearn to trust JR as a husband, but just because she wasn't entirely happy with their marriage didn't mean she had a problem with him as a father to their son, in fact, quite the opposite, he was a wonderful father, it was just too bad he wasn't a better husband. They were working through their issues as husband and wife and as individuals with Doctor Williams though, so she couldn't complain about that either, she was getting what she wanted, even if it did bother her that they were in that position in the first place and it was a process that was going to take a while. In discussing their plans for their family outing, they had both agreed that as John Ross was still quite young and needy, they didn't want to travel too far from Southfork, because he did tire easily and if he did become extra fussy, it wouldn't be so inconvenient to return home. Staying close to Southfork didn't limit them to actually remaining on ranch property though and after some discussion, they'd decided that a visit to the nearby wildlife sanctuary was a good idea; they had gardens full of brightly coloured flowers and they had a range of birds, reptiles and animals for guests to observe. Of course, John Ross was still very young and wouldn't really appreciate or understand the experience in relation to the specific things there, but as a general sensory experience, it would be good for him, and if he did happen to fall asleep halfway through their visit, then it wasn't a problem, it was a nice place for adults too.

"I do too darlin'" pleased about Sue Ellen's interest and commitment to their family, JR smiled to himself and kept walking; he wouldn't force the conversation and ruin a good day, he was just happy to actually be in such a 'normal' situation in the first place. In all honesty, although their marriage counselling appeared to be going well, their actual marriage still wasn't great and he'd really been expecting her to spend some time considering his request before reluctantly accepting for the sake of the family, so when she had immediately agreed to family time, he was surprised, but thrilled. It was hard for people to believe, because he had earned himself a reputation as a womaniser, but he really did enjoy being a father to John Ross and a husband to Sue Ellen and if at all possible, he wanted their shared future to be a happy one, one where pain and drama were not such frequent occurrences. He wasn't stupid though, he knew that he was partially responsible for the drama and pain in their lives and if he hadn't done some of the stupid, inconsiderate and irresponsible things he had done in the past, he could have minimised the pain Sue Ellen had endured as his wife and could have prevented other, external things from happening. In addition to that insight, he'd also come to realise that as long as he kept judging his self-worth by the expectations his father set for him and kept putting himself under tremendous pressure to do bigger and better things than anyone had ever done before, he would never be able to reach a state of complete personal happiness. As a result of discussing everything with both Doctor Williams and Sue Ellen, he was beginning to realise that just because he was the one in control of his actions didn't mean that he was necessarily in control of his life overall, that was true of any person, no matter how powerful or strong-willed. He didn't necessarily agree with everything the doctor or Sue Ellen said, but he did understand their perspectives; he could see the correlation between his dissatisfaction and need for more, and allowing his thoughts and actions to be motived mostly by what would make him more powerful, respected, wealthy and would win him good recognition and praise from his father. He had completely agreed with Doctor Williams when he'd told Sue Ellen that she was allowed to live her own life for herself, independent of pleasing her mother, her husband, her son or anyone else, so it seemed hypocritical and silly for him to doubt that the same would be true for himself, however, that didn't stop him at first.

In their last session, Doctor Williams had asked him to consider why he was so concerned about pleasing his father and what was so absurd about the suggestion that perhaps being the owner and president of Ewing Oil, making Ewing Oil the biggest independent oil company in Texas, and being a tremendously wealthy and powerful man weren't really that important. To him, he had been working toward the goal of presidency and ownership of Ewing Oil his entire life and he deserved to receive them when the time came, it was a reward he was working toward and there was absolutely no way he was going to willingly deviate from that path. The other things were more complex though, because yes, he wanted to please and prove something to his father and everyone else by showing that he was deserving of the privileges he was given as the current Ewing heir and he wasn't taking that position for granted, but that wasn't his entire motivation. No one could ever know whether it was a natural inclination or something he'd been indoctrinated into, but he truly enjoyed the oil business and the benefits he got from being a major player in the oil business, both personally and professionally. Because of his true enjoyment, sense of pride in his work and undeniable talent in all divisions of the oil business, it seemed unfair to him for an outsider to assume that his entire motivation to do and be the best was because he wanted to please his father, because that wasn't true. Yes, there was an element of wanting to prove himself to his father and make his father proud, but just as much as he wanted to be and do the best for his father, he wanted it for himself, for John Ross, for Sue Ellen, for the future of Ewing family and for his public image and reputation. In a selfish sense, his current success made him feel better about his childhood too; he would never be completely free of the emotional scars left by never feeling the same love from either of his parents that Bobby and Gary had received, however, being the wealthiest, most successful and most powerful Ewing brother did dull the pain a little. He was the guaranteed heir to the Ewing dynasty and that was one of the few things he had always wanted, truly wanted, not just worked toward because it was what he was 'supposed' to do.

"JR?" hearing Sue Ellen quietly speak his name and feeling her tapping his arm lightly as they walked, he was somewhat startled by being brought out of his thoughts and back into the present. Noticing his surprised reaction but not mentioning it, Sue Ellen pointed down at their now sleeping son as he lay in his stroller, "apparently this walk was more relaxing than mentally stimulating". Letting out a small laugh as she spoke, she pulled the shade cover over the front of the stroller and then looked at JR, "would you mind if we just kept walking?" Despite the fact that she was still uneasy about allowing him back into her life and in no way did she intend to just allow him to do that without first sorting out their marital and personal issues, she couldn't deny that their family day out had been enjoyable so far and she was relaxed. "Of course not darlin', whatever you want", smiling widely and genuinely in response to her question, JR was thrilled, he too was enjoying their day out together as a family and if they didn't have to end it early, then he didn't want to. They didn't have to talk, the silence they'd fallen into was a comfortable silence, not an awkward one; internally though, he was having a lot of conversations with himself and if an opportunity did present itself, he had a feeling that everything he was thinking and feeling would finally find its outlet. He was ready to start really talking about how he felt and why he felt that way and if he was going to do that, then he wanted Sue Ellen to hear it, because he had a lot of explaining to do.

To be continued…


	329. Regression?

**Richardson, Texas **

Sitting in a small café, sipping her tea and listening to her friend speak, Paula sympathised with Sue Ellen, but also found herself wondering whether the drama in Sue Ellen's life would ever end and what it would take for her to finally snap and end things once and for all, or, alternatively, for JR to honestly and truly change. She and Roger liked JR when they double dated, but she wasn't naïve, she'd seen the highs and lows and was well aware that JR had a darker side and that things weren't always as perfect as they appeared to be, and although she wished only the best for them, it was probably unlikely that things would just run smoothly. She was in no way a supporter of unnecessary or hasty marital separations or divorces, especially not when there were children involved, but in Sue Ellen's situation, she completely understood and would totally support her decision if she did decide that marriage wasn't working out for her and JR anymore. If she had been Sue Ellen or in a situation similar to Sue Ellen's with JR, JR or whoever the man may be wouldn't still be her husband, not after everything he'd put her through, time after time. She wasn't Sue Ellen though and she didn't completely understand the way she felt or why she kept returning to JR, because she'd never been in a relationship where co-dependency was such a prevalent thing, she'd always been her own person, even in marriage. Just because she didn't completely understand Sue Ellen's feelings didn't mean she didn't sympathise with her though, because it was clear that Sue Ellen did love her husband and did want to make things work, she was just a highly confused woman. It was a little disappointing for Paula to see Sue Ellen this way again, because she had had a lot of personal growth over the past few months and years, so to see it reversing itself and her returning to second guessing her thoughts was both sad and frustrating. However, just because she had a certain opinion on the situation didn't mean she wasn't there to support Sue Ellen in any way she needed, because she was and she always would be, they were friends and that's what friends did for each other.

"…I don't know how I feel. On one hand, I still don't trust him and I still have so many doubts about the sincerity of his commitment to me, because he's made and broken so many promises in the past and if our recent history is anything to go by, he still somehow finds it very easy to justify lying and hiding things from me. On the other hand though, I can feel his sadness and regret at the state of our marriage and it pains me to see him so vulnerable when he opens up about his past, our past and the way he feels now. The love and empathy I have for him means that every time he expresses his inner feelings and shows repentance, all I want to do is comfort him; I truly do want to see him work past those things and I want to see him win, but I don't want it to happen at my expense. I know he's trying and I know he's hurting and I would never purposely antagonize that situation, because I want to see him heal and become a better, healthier and happier man, but I need to find a balance between helping him and enabling him, because I will not enable him any longer. I will not be his submissive wife that allows him to get away with everything as long as he apologises; I do not want to and will not stay married to someone I can't trust. Do you see my problem now? It's all so confusing and I don't know how to feel or what reaction is entirely appropriate". Sighing to herself as she finished speaking, Sue Ellen ran her finger around the edge of her teacup before picking it up and taking a drink; she really was confused, torn between wanting to love and forgive and being angry and wanting to end it all.

Nodding, Paula murmured a few words of agreement at understanding what Sue Ellen was saying, though before responding in any real fashion, she took a long pause; Sue Ellen was confused and hurt, so telling her that she didn't really understand why she kept giving JR chance after chance probably wasn't a helpful statement to make. "Do you remember a few weeks ago when you came to visit me? Just after you managed to get JR to agree to marriage counselling. Do you remember how you felt back then? You were unsure, but you were strong. I want you to find that part of yourself again, because I know it exists and I know that Sue Ellen would have answers to some of the concerns you've just voiced to me. It's ok to be empathetic and want to comfort JR, you love him and you want the best for him, but wanting the best for him and being a nice person doesn't automatically mean that you have to be a pushover. You can and should demand answers and change from him if he wants to remain married to you, it's not unreasonable to want or expect respect from your husband and it's not unreasonable to put your relationship on hold until a point where things do change. You're a person just like he is and your rights and feelings are no less important than his. I want you to remember that and I want you to follow your intuition instead of overanalysing things. If he's hurting, you're allowed to comfort him and not second-guess that action, but by the same set of rules, if you suspect that he's lying to you or you don't trust him, then you don't have to allow him all the way back into your life, that's also your right. You do not have to do anything that you're not comfortable with, you need to remember that. Now, JR is attending marriage counselling with you, that's a good start, it gives both of you a good opportunity to work through your thoughts and feelings before making any permanent decisions; so, if you're asking me what you should do, I think you should use this time for just that. There's nothing wrong with having feelings or opinions about a subject and just because your feelings may seem illogical doesn't mean they're wrong. Relax a little, you deserve it", hoping to sound encouraging, Paula smiled and then reached out and touched Sue Ellen's hand. "I know you're right, I just get caught up in my thoughts too much sometimes. Thank you", knowing that she was only human and did have a habit of putting herself under too much pressure to come up with a solid answer that pleased everyone, even if she really wasn't sure that that was what was right, Sue Ellen knew she had to allow herself to relax a little more. Stressing over finding a balance between empathy and toughness wasn't doing anyone any favours. Smiling at her friend, she actually felt a little better; it was ok to not have all the answers, sometimes she just needed reminding of that.

To be continued…


	330. Options

**Dallas, Texas**

"How difficult would it be to get that clause removed? My motivations are purely personal, but this is business and I know daddy connects the two rather closely", sitting in Brooks Oliver's office, JR felt a little sick as he waited for an answer to his question. He knew that if he kept the morality clause in his contract and Sue Ellen found out about it and what his good behaviour guaranteed him in the future, whatever progress they had made toward repairing the trust in their marriage would disappear. He was also aware that he would also lose her if he did nothing about the clause and she did later find out about it, which would inevitably happen if history was anything to go by; so, naturally, in pursuit of being a better husband, he was making moves to overturn the clause; it was the right thing to do. "You say your motivations are personal, I assume that that doesn't mean that you intend to go back to a life of infidelity, but rather that you want to be a good man for yourself and for your family, not because you're contractually obligated to be; is that assumption correct?" assessing the situation, Brooks looked to JR for a response. "Yes, that's correct. I know I was a bastard who had his priorities in the wrong place, so I understand why daddy did what he did, but I'm trying to change and I really believe I am changing, however, I do not want that change to be attributed to the promise of Ewing Oil rather than love and respect for my family. I cannot lose Sue Ellen and John Ross and I know my relationship with daddy will deteriorate rapidly if anything does happen to my marriage, so instead of just sitting back and hoping that nothing happens, I want to change things before they do get out of hand. I want to fix our marriage, but to really start with a fresh slate means not having secrets or hidden agendas like this hanging over me". Finishing his explanation, JR hoped that Brooks Oliver was satisfied with his answer and didn't question him any further; he didn't mind explaining his reasons, but to delve deep into the thoughts and feelings behind everything wasn't really something he cared to get into with anyone but Sue Ellen and perhaps Doctor Williams.

"Good, that's what I wanted to hear and that's exactly what you need to tell Jock, because I believe that this is more of a moral and personal decision than a legal one. What I mean by that is, if you're asking whether you can legally request that the contract to be overturned on the basis of unfairness or illegality, then you're out of luck, because the contract as it is written is legally sound, there is no legal reason why it would be declared null and void just because you want out. However, that doesn't mean that you cannot request a renegotiation of the contents or request a rescission, essentially repealing the contract, sometimes even as far back as if it had never existed. I know you're probably concerned about the guarantee of ownership and presidency of Ewing Oil connected to the morals clause though, so, as a lawyer, I would recommend a renegotiation rather than repealing or rewriting the contract entirely, it's the safest way to ensure that you don't lose those or other benefits. That being said though, as I mentioned before, I do believe that this is much more of a personal discussion than a legal one, so I really do urge you to talk to your daddy before you start making any legal requests to amend the contract; it's probably the least messy option and you may be surprised by the results". Pausing for a moment as he waited for JR to comprehend his words, Brooks was relieved when JR murmured a few words of understanding, without argument, "fine. I suppose I have to listen to you, you are my lawyer in this situation. As long as you're sure that I have options, I suppose I can hold off on making any legal requests until after I speak to my daddy. I want to be clear though, whatever way I have to do it, I want that clause eliminated". Speaking firmly, JR then looked at his watch and noticing the time, he knew that he needed to be getting back to Ewing Oil; if he was going to approach his father with the subject of changing his contract again, he didn't need him to be in a bad mood because he had arrived back at work late.

As their meeting ended, JR shook Brooks' hand and then followed him toward the office door, though he stopped for a moment when Brooks cleared his throat, as if he had one more thing to say. "JR, tell your daddy exactly what you told me and you have nothing to worry about in terms of him believing you about your personal motivation. If Jock Ewing is anything like I think he is, he will be proud to hear his son speak so seriously about being a good man for his family. Add to that the fact that he as much as said that he had always intended for you, the eldest son, to inherit Ewing Oil, I don't believe he would go back on his word, especially not now, not in this circumstance, this is a good thing for you and Mrs Ewing". Pausing for a second, he then added, "forgive me if that was out of place or incorrect, but that's just how the situation appears to me", and giving him an encouraging smile, he then shook JR's hand again in a professional manner and opened the door to show him out. Hopefully he actually listened and took his advice, because he was fairly sure that what he'd suggested wasn't insane and really was the best way to approach the situation.

To be continued…


	331. Daddy

**Dallas, Texas**

"I think I hear daddy. Shall we go and see him? Tell him how well you did at your doctor's check-up today?" gasping playfully as she heard JR's car parking in the driveway, Sue Ellen spoke her thoughts to John Ross and delighted in the squeal that resulted at the mention of 'daddy'. Although she and JR weren't in a calm, happy marriage right now, as parents, they were definitely on the same page and she adored that their son appeared to be so attached to both of them, it was exactly what she had always wanted for her child. Picking him up off the rug in his nursery where they had been playing with his toys, she then carefully carried him downstairs and walked out onto the driveway to meet JR.

Having had a long day at work and knowing that he and his father would be having a serious discussion later that evening, JR was slightly distracted when he opened his car door and didn't immediately notice his wife and son waiting for him, though that all changed as soon as he came into John Ross' line of vision. Catching sight of his father, John Ross began to make excited noises and move around in his mother's arms, and noticing that happening, JR's thoughts turned toward the present rather than the past or future; it was a wonderful picture to see, he really did love his wife and son and being part of their little family. "There's my boy", grinning as he held his arms out and took hold of his son, he then nodded at Sue Ellen thankfully and turned his attention back to John Ross, bouncing him in his arms a few times before walking toward the house. Entering and making their way upstairs, his grin widened as Sue Ellen explained the details of their day, first gushing about John Ross' four-month check-up and how Doctor Danvers had been very pleased with his development and very complimentary about his overall nature, and then explaining what she and John Ross had done for the rest of the day. Sue Ellen's attitude toward motherhood and John Ross' obvious recognition and excitement at seeing him, his father, made him a very happy and proud man; it felt wonderful to know that his family loved him, at least in a fatherly capacity, though he was hoping that he would have Sue Ellen loving him as a husband again soon. Reaching the top of the stairs, JR found himself a little disappointed as their time as a happy little family of three was interrupted by Miss Ellie as she exited her bedroom and kindly offered to watch John Ross while he and Sue Ellen got ready for dinner. It was a genuine, loving and practical offer and he was pleased to have such a supportive, helpful family, however, in the split second it was offered, before the practical side of things was clear, he did feel a little put out; he liked being an involved father and selfishly, sometimes he didn't like the idea of sharing John Ross. Realising that his mother wasn't offering to look after John Ross as part of some scheme to remove him as a major player in his son's life though, he then gave him a light kiss on the forehead and handed him over. John Ross wasn't going anywhere and the five minutes he spent away from him as he got ready for dinner wasn't going to ruin their bond; his son knew he was his father and no one could or would ever take that place in his life.

A couple of hours later, JR and Jock headed into the downstairs office to talk. Family dinner had been conversation-filled thanks to everyone's interest in John Ross' development; apparently, according to Jock and agreed upon by JR and to a lesser extent by Miss Ellie, Bobby, Lucy and Sue Ellen, Doctor Danvers' compliments were evidence of the superiority of the Ewing genes and lifestyle. It was a nice, happy conversation and although they all knew that in some ways, they were just making up facts, they were no less proud or happy; John Ross was the Ewing they'd all been waiting for, especially Jock, so leaving the dinner table and entering the office for his talk with JR, he was in a good mood. Also in a good mood as dinner ended, JR began to get a little more nervous as he closed the door to the office and walked over to the bar to make two drinks; he had a point to make, but he needed to make it in the most sincere way if he was to get what he truly wanted. "Daddy", handing his father his glass, JR then waited for him to take a drink and give him a cue to begin speaking, he wanted to remain as polite and respectful as possible in their discussion, it would only add to his point and show his father that he was serious. "Thank you", taking the drink, Jock eyed his eldest son suspiciously, JR was obviously up to something, though what that something was, he wasn't entirely sure, and to not know beforehand what their conversation was going to be about made him feel a little uneasy. Like JR, he liked to be in control, but right now, he wasn't and he didn't like it. "You wanted to speak to me", offering JR a chance to explain his reasoning for their private meeting, Jock almost chocked on his drink when JR did finally speak, "yes, I wanted to discuss changing my contract again, specifically the morality clause".

After a long, awkward silence, one where JR felt as if he were standing on the edge of a cliff and Jock wondered who the hell his eldest son thought he was, JR then added a secondary part to his explanation, "I suppose that didn't come out very well. Please, allow me to explain before you make any decisions", pausing for a second, but not hearing his father object, he then continued to speak. "I know I was a bastard who had his priorities in the wrong place, so I understand why you did what you did and why I felt like it was a good plan to agree to, because at the time, it really did seem that way. However, over the past few months, I've come to realise the extent of the consequences of my behaviour and I've been really trying to change the way I think and act and honestly, I do believe that I am changing. The thing is, how can anyone ever trust or believe that my change in behaviour and attitude was because I love and respect for my family and not just because my future at Ewing Oil was on the line? I cannot lose Sue Ellen and John Ross and I really don't want to lose Ewing Oil, but I also don't want the two things to be so closely connected. I want a chance to be a man, to prove myself as worthy of Sue Ellen's love and the ownership and presidency of Ewing Oil, but to do that, I believe that I need to start afresh, without secrets or hidden agendas. You said it yourself, there comes a time and a place when fun stops and you start facing up to your responsibilities and I always had that in business, but not in my personal life; I understand exactly what you were saying now and I want to prove that that's no longer the case. Please daddy, please give me a chance to prove myself in an honest way; I have a wife, a son and a business that I care about, and I want to show that I can do right by them because I care about them, not because I'm obligated to". Knowing that he was heading into territory that could border on pathetic begging, he decided that it didn't really matter as long as his father could see that he was serious and honest in his intentions, though as he waited for a response, he did begin to wonder whether he'd approached the situation incorrectly. Stone-faced, Jock stood in thought for a moment before holding his now empty glass out to his son, "I think I'm going to need another drink". He understood JR's point, but they were going to have a long, serious discussion before anything was even remotely agreed upon as a plan for the future; there was so much at stake right now and he couldn't risk anything.

To be continued…


	332. Stuck

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR", shaking his hand and motioning for him to have a seat, Doctor Williams kept his mouth shut about his surprise at seeing JR outside of his and Sue Ellen's twice-weekly sessions, because the last thing he wanted to do was make JR second-guess his decision to make a one-on-one appointment. Feeling a little awkward now that he was actually there, alone, with a man who was sure to overanalyse his thoughts, JR sat silently for a few moments before clearing his throat and breaking the silence. "Before you get too excited and start patting yourself on the back for a job well done, I think you should know that you weren't exactly my first choice; I just needed someone to talk to and when I considered my options, you seemed the least risky. I can sue you if you spread information told to you in confidence; you'd do well to remember that", speaking in a slightly threatening tone, he then paused again, and noting Doctor Williams' unfazed expression at his threats, he found himself a little irritated by the man's lack of reaction; he didn't enjoy feeling like he wasn't being taken seriously. "I'm aware", nodding, Doctor Williams made a mental note to explore JR's trust issues and lack of friends, before motioning for him to continue speaking.

Sighing to himself, JR considered his current situation and then began to speak, "well, firstly, I'd like to make it clear that I'm aware that my past actions were wrong and hurtful to Sue Ellen and did absolutely nothing to help our marriage, so if you're considering lecturing me, save it, I'm well aware of my wrongdoings. Secondly, I'd also like to make it clear that although I was not exactly a faithful husband in the past, the incident with Miss Moore last December and just this past month were exceptions to the norm and my actions in those cases aren't representative of the general issue. I'd like to clarify that since that occasion last year, I have been a loving, faithful husband, despite what anyone else chooses to believe. In saying that, when I was a bad, unfaithful husband, it was because I wasn't mentally in the right place to make the right decisions, not because I purposely wanted to hurt Sue Ellen with my actions. I was a selfish, overly conservative man who was really only thinking of himself and an idealised image of what a lady should look like and do. I know that those thoughts and actions hurt our marriage and upon realising that it was an issue, Sue Ellen and I began to work through those personal issues, especially the ones that caused me to validate seeking other women. As a result of our newfound openness and my newfound understanding of what it meant to be a good father and husband, we managed to get our marriage back into a good place, until of course, my mistake with that naïve little gold-digger came back to bite me". Knowing that Doctor Williams had probably heard the majority of his and Sue Ellen's backstory from Sue Ellen's perspective, he decided to explain a little of his side of the story before launching into an explanation of his current predicament. He needed Doctor Williams to believe that he had good intentions now, otherwise, he was likely to see the situation in the same way that his father did and that's the last thing he needed right now.

"Noted, and as we're clarifying things, I'd like to remind you that I'm here to help you, not judge you, so please, don't feel as if you have to whitewash your feelings or motivations for my sake or for the sake of making yourself appear more or less than what reality truly is. As you've pointed out numerous times, our meetings are confidential; honesty is not something you have to fear here, this is a safe space", pausing to make sure JR was listening, Doctor Williams then continued to speak, "now, since we're back on the same page, would you like to enlighten me with your concerns? I'm a very good listener and you said you needed to talk", giving him an encouraging smile, Doctor Williams handed control of the conversation back to JR, waiting patiently for him to put his thoughts into words.

"I made a mistake. I accepted a deal that appeared to be a good idea at the time, but now, in hindsight, probably wasn't the smartest thing to do. I was a little apprehensive about tying my personal and business lives together so closely, because although they're connected, they're not really dependent on each other unless I make them and unfortunately, I did. As I recognize now that I probably signed up for a deal that isn't a good plan for the future, I tried to reverse it, but my efforts to do so have been unsuccessful so far. My lawyer told me to speak to my daddy, so I did, but that wasn't the easy fix that he made it out to be. My daddy says that he believes me when I explain my motivations for wanting change, but he doesn't necessarily trust me enough to actually reverse our deal; he says that there's too much at stake right now and until he's one hundred percent sure that it will work, he won't be signing anything that unties my previous promises and guarantees. He says that he needs me to be on my best behaviour at home and at work, and right now, with Sue Ellen and me living a somewhat separated marriage, he doesn't believe that he can trust me to do as I say I will without the threat of consequences and the promise of reward. What he doesn't understand is that to do what he wants me to do and what I want to do for myself, Sue Ellen and John Ross, I need a clean slate. For my own peace of mind and Sue Ellen's peace of mind if she ever does find out, I want my actions from now on to be entirely my own, not because of some stupid contractual obligation. Do you see my problem now? Everyone, including myself, wants me to be a better man and a better husband, but when it comes to me actually doing that, the unbreakable walls start to come up. How am I ever going to prove to my daddy, my wife, my son or myself that I can and am a faithful, loving husband without the freedom to actually prove that it's true? I honestly believe that I've been a good husband and father this year because I've wanted to and because I'm not the same man I was in the past, but how much is it going to take to get everyone else to believe that?" sighing loudly as he finished speaking, JR looked at Doctor Williams helplessly. Right now, he didn't particularly care that Doctor Williams was basically a random stranger whose opinion meant nothing to him in the grand scheme of things, all he wanted was a little reassurance that he wasn't a terrible person and his efforts did mean something.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Their conversation ran super long when I was writing, so I just split the chapter into two. They continue speaking next chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	333. Honesty is the Best Policy?

**Dallas, Texas**

"Yes, I think I understand your predicament. Being a good person isn't always the easiest thing to do, especially when it feels like everyone is against you, so I want you to allow yourself to feel proud of the fact that you are trying and do believe you've made some progress, because change does take a lot of personal commitment and hard work". Understanding enough from what JR did say, although he hadn't specifically detailed what his 'contractual obligations' were, Doctor Williams nodded and then made a move to reassure JR that his concerns were valid; it was quite obvious from his helplessness that he was actually upset, not just acting that way to manipulate a certain outcome. He didn't personally agree with the situation JR was alluding to, but he understood it and was capable of remaining in a neutral position in order to help him work through his feelings. As far as he could tell, the agreement JR spoke of consisted of some sort of contract specifying that in exchange for his fidelity and good behaviour, he would receive a reward from his father, and if his assumptions were correct, that reward probably had a lot to do with Ewing Oil, the Ewing men's biggest strength and weakness.

"Well, that's all very nice to say, but it doesn't help me very much. Pride in my hard work is pointless when that hard work is brushed over in favour of old opinions". Even though he was looking for support, JR found himself annoyed by Doctor Williams' positive response; nice words didn't mean anything when there was no reality to match them. It was simple, his father didn't trust him and if he didn't trust him, then there was no way he was going to reverse the contract, and if the contract wasn't changed, then how was he supposed to prove himself to anyone? In the back of his mind, he was also a little concerned that perhaps the contract had had more of an effect on his behaviour than he wanted to give it credit for. In thinking that, he knew that to prove to himself and to everyone else that he really was a changed man, a good man, he needed to be able to act on his own, without promise of reward or consequences for his actions. His motivations for being a good husband needed to be pure, they needed to be because he loved his wife and wanted the best life for them, not because he was being promised big things for his future at Ewing Oil.

"Mhm, that's somewhat true, however, I believe you'd benefit from a more positive attitude toward yourself and other people; thinking so negatively isn't helping your situation right now. In addition to that, I also believe you'd benefit from taking a step back and viewing things from another perspective, because sometimes it pays to see things the way other people do. Yes, you know that what you did was wrong, however, I don't get the feeling that your father tricked you into anything and I don't get the feeling that his actions now are necessarily exactly as you're perceiving them. Have you ever considered his viewpoint? Perhaps he's tired of hearing broken promises, much like Sue Ellen has indicated that she is. Perhaps instead of just telling your father that your actions are motivated by only the best thoughts, perhaps you need to show him, really show him. You said it yourself, your marital situation with Sue Ellen right now is hardly indicative of a loving and faithful husband, so perhaps that's part of the reason why he's so leery about renegotiating whatever this contract says, perhaps he doesn't trust that now is a good time for you to be free of contractual consequences. Now, I know that you and Sue Ellen worked through the major issues that first separated your marriage, however, the latest situation has definitely been a reminder of that situation for Sue Ellen and if I'm guessing correctly, probably your father too. Do you see now why perhaps he doesn't believe you? Instead of simply telling everyone how much you've changed, you need to consistently show it; but by trying to make that point right now, with everything else so fresh in everyone's memory, your words are much less convincing. Now, I know that that probably doesn't help anything, because I do believe that you have been and are still trying to make things work, your participation in these sessions is evidence of that, as well as the fact that you actually appear to have had an honest conversation with your father, that's progress too. However, despite your present efforts, everything is still very recent and memorable, so it's not that farfetched to assume that other people are cautious about your behaviour and words", pausing as he waited for JR to think about what he was saying, Doctor Williams considered his next move; was it wise to challenge JR right now?

Grumbling at the way Doctor Williams flipped the situation on him, asking him to consider his actions as they appeared to everyone else, JR mumbled a few words and then sat silently, thinking. "So what am I supposed to do now? I've told you, I'm making an effort, an honest effort, but if I'm already doing all I can, how am I supposed to improve on that and show that my attitude and actions are real?" genuinely confused by what Doctor Williams thought he could do to make any difference, JR looked at him quizzically as he spoke. Staying quiet as JR spoke and then waited for him to respond, Doctor Williams evaluated the situation and decided to just say what he was thinking, "well, have you ever considered informing Sue Ellen of the details you're currently hiding from her? I don't believe you really need me to tell you this, because you're a smart man and deep down, you probably already know that it's the right thing to do, but I'll say it anyway. You cannot honestly participate in marriage counselling with your wife if you are withholding information that hugely influences the way you act, even if you don't believe it does. I know for a fact that Sue Ellen will be upset by this news, but I have a feeling that she'd much rather hear it from you now, as you're trying to rectify the situation, rather than days, weeks, months or years down the line when by some accident, it all comes out. Take the recent situation with Miss Moore and her child, yes, it was highly upsetting information for Sue Ellen to hear, but half of the reason why she was and still is upset about that information is related to the way it all came out. Lying, omitting information and bending the truth, those things never work out the way they're planned and they always end with someone getting hurt. Honesty really is the best policy, especially in marriage. If you want to rebuild trust with your wife, then you need to be honest, about everything. Sue Ellen has told you very clearly that in time, she can forgive mistakes, but lying is not something she wants to or should have to deal with and it's not something that's easy to forgive. To answer your question though, I cannot make you do anything, but I do highly recommend that you look at the situation holistically and try to see things from other people's perspectives. I have a feeling that your father will take your word more seriously if you're completely honest with your wife and even in the anger that's sure to follow this revelation, you continue to be a good husband, and as for Sue Ellen, as I said, she'll be angry, however, I do believe that she'll appreciate the honesty. Again though, I cannot make you do anything, but as you asked for my opinion, that's what I believe you should do", watching JR intently as he finished speaking, Doctor Williams was pleased by the contemplative and slightly worried look on JR's face; hopefully he was actually considering honesty as a plan.

"Do you really think that would work? What if she leaves me? She's done it before and it took everything to get her back, plus, it really damaged my relationship with daddy. What if I tell her and she gets so upset that she leaves Southfork, takes John Ross with her and then files for divorce? Then I'll have no wife, no son, no company and my family will all hate me". Having listened to Doctor Williams' words and thought about the situation he was describing, JR found himself feeling vulnerable and sad, he'd messed up, badly, and no amount of cockiness, self-confidence or force could guarantee that everything would work out in the end; this truly was a situation where he couldn't control anyone but himself and he hated it. "As I said, she's going to be hurt and angry, whatever way you try to spin the situation, because if you don't tell her, she will find out, you and I both know it. So, in knowing that she's going to one day be privy to that information, I honestly believe that you can mitigate the severity of the consequences by being as open and honest as possible in your explanation now; no more hiding things. In addition to that, you need to keep doing exactly as you have been doing, you need to remain the loving and faithful husband you want to be and have been; how you respond to her inevitable hurt and anger will also determine the outcome of the situation. What I mean by that is do not even think of using her reaction as an excuse to justify your own bad behaviour; she has reason to be upset, you need to understand and adapt your behaviour to that. She may leave and she may take John Ross, but that's not something you get to decide for her, and think about it, the chance of that happening only increases the longer you keep this a secret. It's going to hurt, but you have the ability to lessen the extent of the consequences. To answer your question in short though, do I think that telling Sue Ellen about all of this will help the situation? Yes, in the long run, I believe it can, as long as you're honest, apologetic, take the consequences as they are dealt to you and show that you really are committed to this new life. Does that make any sense?"

"Sure, it makes sense. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Right?" looking straight at Doctor Williams, JR shook his head and then sighed, he really was in a precarious position and he honestly wasn't sure how he was going to get out of it.

To be continued…


	334. Accusations

**Dallas, Texas**

Lying in her bed in the guest room, Sue Ellen found herself analysing and questioning the state of her marriage and JR's attitude toward everything, and the more she thought about it, the more confused she got. He was up and down and she didn't understand it. It made sense that he was making an effort to show that he could be a good husband and father, because she was still upset with him and it really was the least he could do. What didn't make much sense though was his oddly distant attitude when they were alone as husband and wife, his quietness and lack of argument or deep answers in their marriage counselling sessions and the argument she had overheard between he and Jock earlier in the evening. It wasn't at all strange for JR and Jock to get together and discuss business after dinner, however, it did strike her as odd that her name was mentioned as she walked past the office door and that both JR and Jock were speaking in harsh tones, as if they were in a heated debate. She knew that Jock wasn't happy about their physical separation as husband and wife, he made that perfectly clear to both of them, dropping it into conversation wherever it would fit, however, she really didn't understand what extra things he could have to say to JR, especially now. She and JR had been separated for weeks and in that time, not that much had changed, at least not publicly; yes, they had started marriage counselling and JR's moods had been a little odd, however, those things were more private than public and she didn't believe JR was giving anyone enough details to justify an argument like she'd overheard.

It was all very confusing and she didn't understand it; something inside JR had changed, but she didn't know what it was or why it had happened; he was definitely acting differently though and she couldn't help but feel both worried and annoyed by that change. All she truly wanted was to be a happy woman, wife and mother, but having such a hard marriage made it difficult for her to enjoy her life as an individual and as a wife, though as a mother, she couldn't have been happier, she truly did love motherhood and seeing JR as a father was equally delightful. Simply being a good father wasn't enough though and it certainly didn't provide her with any of the answers she was currently looking for. What had caused JR to become distant lately? What were he and Jock arguing about and how did it relate to her? Why did he seem to be so docile in their marriage counselling sessions? Especially when he'd originally been so uncomfortable with the idea of a stranger hearing his secrets and making comments about his life in order to make them think and reconsider things. It was so unlike JR to just sit back and allow Doctor Williams to make comments and direct the conversation without argument or question. Something was wrong, she knew it, but what that something was, she had no idea, and that irritated and concerned her.

Sitting up as a horrible thought hit her, she quickly reached over to her nightstand, turned on her lamp and then grabbed her robe, putting it on and tying it as she got out of bed. Opening the door, she strode out of the guest room, across the hallway and not stopping to knock, she opened the door to their bedroom and entered; she had a purpose and there was no time or need for politeness. "Is it happening again? Are you cheating on me? Is that why you and your daddy were arguing? Does he know?" surprising JR as he buttoned his pajamas for bed, she closed the door behind her and moved further into the room, closer to him. "You're hiding something and I want to know what it is. Now".

Slightly flustered by her presence, her anger and her physical appearance, a sight he'd sorely missed seeing during the past few weeks, JR was silent for a moment as he processed her words and then when he did comprehend her questions, he was lost for an answer. No, he wasn't cheating on her and no, that's not what he and his father had been arguing about, not really, however, he couldn't deny that he was hiding something, but he also couldn't just admit it, it wasn't the right time, or was it? Taking a deep breath and walking over to her, he looked her in the eye and spoke, "no, I am not cheating on you and I have not been unfaithful in any way since the last time we had and then resolved this argument. I promise, that is the truth; I love you and I do not intend to make a mistake like that again. As for my conversation with daddy, I don't know what you heard, but I'm sorry you had to hear any of it. Daddy and I are currently in a disagreement about a few things, and I won't lie and say that none of them concern you or my fidelity, because they do, however, none of the things he was voicing his concern about are actually real issues…" Pausing for a moment as he considered how deeply he needed to explain the discussion, especially since he didn't know how much or what exactly she had heard, he found Doctor Williams' words echoing though his mind and he knew that he had to be completely honest with her, no matter how humiliating or angering it was. Being honest was the right thing to do, and from the glare Sue Ellen was giving him, honesty was also the only answer she was going to accept. "Hm, well, I'm pleased to hear that, but you didn't answer my question, so please, finish speaking. What were you and your daddy arguing about? What is your daddy concerned about that's supposedly not an issue? And what are you hiding from me? Because I get the feeling that your daddy's concerns are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to information I'm being kept in the dark about, and that's not good enough. I want to know JR, and I want to know now".

To be continued…


	335. Marital Mess

**Dallas, Texas**

"You did what?!" not even really trying to eavesdrop, simply hearing the argument down the hall because of how loudly Sue Ellen was shouting, Miss Ellie's stomach dropped; she didn't know what they were arguing about, but whatever it was, it couldn't be good. Her nervousness and worry only increased as silence followed the few moments of indistinguishable shouting between her son and daughter-in-law; silence meant one of two things, they were either making up, or something much more sinister had happened, and right now, she wasn't sure she would put her money on making up.

Down the hall, shaking her head in disbelief and anger at JR's words, Sue Ellen sighed heavily before taking a deep breath and looking him directly in the eye as she spoke, responding to his earlier confession and explanation in a much calmer manner than she had just had. "Why would you agree to that in the first place? Why would you agree to such a degrading, manipulative and immoral agreement? And why does there even need to be a reward promised in order for you to be a proper husband? I understand, Ewing Oil is important to you and the eventual presidency and ownership is something that you're entitled to, not only as the eldest Ewing son, but also as the hardest working and most knowledgeable son, so to be offered the chance to legally guarantee that entitlement is obviously enticing, but did it have to happen this way? Did it have to be tied to the success of our marriage? I want our relationship to be good and healthy because you and I both want that, not because I want it and you want Ewing Oil. Does that make sense? I don't want to be just another business deal, I see how business deals are done in the Ewing family and I won't stand by and allow myself to be the pawn in your plan to gain control and ownership of Ewing Oil. Your daddy was wrong to suggest such a plan in the first place, but you never should have accepted it or purposely kept it a secret from me; withholding information is on the same level as lying, it's not right and it's not nice. I appreciate that you've recently made moves to try and repeal that part of the contract, but it doesn't really make me feel any better about the situation in general. It's humiliating to think that this whole time, you've had an ulterior motive, one that drastically affects your motives for being the husband you've been lately. How am I supposed to trust you when you're constantly lying and hiding things from me?" Speaking sadly but sharply, Sue Ellen considered what JR's words meant for them and their future together. She was angry with JR for his actions and withholding the information from her for such a long time, but more than that, she was angry at Jock for manipulating his eldest son into constantly having to jump through hoops to get what was rightfully his. If their sessions with Doctor Williams had clarified anything, it was that a great majority of JR's thoughts, actions and motivations were about pleasing his father, and in a way, although Jock probably acted subconsciously in some ways, other actions were very much conscious and were very much purposely manipulative, and she hated to see JR treated that way.

Lost for words, JR was quiet for a few moments before responding, stepping a few feet closer to his wife and touching her hand as he began to speak. "I know it doesn't mean much anymore, because I've said it so many times and I still manage to make a mess of everything, but I really am sorry, please believe me. I initially had my doubts about the contract, because I didn't want my personal success and business success to be so closely tied to each other, but the reason I negotiated a deal and then signed it really came down to the risk and benefit assessment I did at the time. I had already made the commitment to be a better husband to you prior to any mention of a deal; you and I were working on our relationship and I was feeling good about that progress, so when daddy came to me a while later and proposed making my commitment legal, it didn't seem like a terrible idea. I know it's selfish, but I'm weak when it comes to daddy and Ewing Oil; I liked the idea that the future presidency and ownership of Ewing Oil was being legally offered to me, because although I don't distrust that daddy intends for me to take over, it's no secret that Bobby is his favourite and that'll probably never change. I'm not stupid, I know that my daddy was playing games with me by manipulating me into acting a certain way for a guarantee of something that should have been mine anyway, however, as I said, at the time, it didn't seem like such a bad deal, because I had already made a personal commitment to you. I didn't tell you, because I foolishly believed that I didn't need to, I had already made a commitment to you, an honest one, my deal with daddy was just a legal version of that deal. I understand now though that those thoughts were wrong. I understand that I should never have used you or our relationship as a pawn in a deal and I never should have withheld information from you, our marriage means more than Ewing Oil and my behaviour as a good husband should not be dependent on the reward of Ewing Oil, it should be because I love and respect you. I know you don't believe me, but I really do mean that, I understand that what I did was wrong and I understand now that hiding it from you was also wrong, and I really am sorry for both of those things. I love you and I truly do care about our marriage, I'm just not very good at interpersonal relationships or seeing personal consequences for my actions before they happen, I'm a flawed man, but I truly am sorry and truly do wish to right my wrongs". Still holding her hand, he finished his words and then sighed, he was vulnerable, sad, disappointed in himself, upset with his father, and he was scared, scared that he was about to lose his wife, his son, his livelihood and his place in the Ewing family. Everything was such a mess and he really had no idea how he was supposed to fix it.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Apparently it's the one year anniversary of this story today, so I want to say thank you to everyone who has been reading since the beginning and those of you who have come in and caught up or are still catching up. Thank you for reading and commenting, it means a lot :)**


	336. Time for Change

**Dallas, Texas**

"Darlin', what are you doing?" confused as she turned away from him and then used their still joined hands as a means to pull him toward the door, JR's stomach dropped when she looked over her shoulder as she opened their bedroom door and answered his question, "we're going to have a little talk with your daddy". Upset with and mad at JR about his constant lies, general deceit and infidelity, but also empathetic to his motivations for many of his thoughts and actions because of her prior knowledge of his feelings about Ewing Oil, his father and his place in the world, she found herself more angry with Jock than JR in the moments following JR's confession. She wasn't excusing what JR had done, because the fact that they were two and a half years into marriage, had been in a relationship for over five years and they were even discussing rewards and consequences for fidelity and infidelity, was enough in itself to upset her, however, right now, adultery was really the secondary issue on her mind. From being JR Ewing's girlfriend and wife and from attending sessions with Doctor Williams, she understood more of why JR was the way he was, and the majority of those reasons had to do with Jock, Miss Ellie and the way the Ewing family operated in general, and she couldn't blame JR for being a hurt and broken man. She herself had been a hurt, broken woman at the hands of her mother for much too long, however, acknowledging that hurt and acknowledging that she would never change who her mother was, couldn't keep blaming her mother for things and couldn't base her identity and happiness on pleasing her mother, she had found some calmness. With the knowledge that she couldn't control other people but she could control how her relationship with other people affected her, she had had strong words with her mother about their past and boundaries for the future and they had somewhat settled their issues. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for JR and Jock, though if she had anything to do with it, that would all change very soon.

Feeling sick at the thought of confronting his father in general, but especially since they weren't exactly on good terms right now and the late hour of the night was hardly the ideal time for rational discussion, JR stopped walking and pulled Sue Ellen back toward him, stopping in the hallway, just a few feet from their bedroom. "Sue Ellen, please, just stop for a moment. I know you're angry and upset and I know you think it'll provide some kind of clarity or resolution, but I don't think that right now is the most appropriate time to have this discussion". Looking her in the eye as he spoke, he continued to hold her hand tightly, an action that was partly because he needed to maintain control, but mostly because he liked touching her and hadn't had the chance to do so in any real, meaningful way in weeks. "When is the right time?" with every passing moment, she found herself feeling more helpless and sad than angry, and although she was willing herself not to allow the weaker emotions to take over, it was difficult. She felt as if the constant issues and bad timing in their lives and the lack of power she had to make any real change were beating her down. "The morning, the weekend, I don't know darlin', but not right now, not like this". Unsure of what to say to her, not wanting to admit that he was afraid of the future, afraid of his father's wrath and not wanting to admit that he really didn't know what he was going to say when they did speak, JR froze and gave her a basic explanation, one that did nothing to ease her mind. Feeling herself falling deeper and deeper into an emotional hole, Sue Ellen's shoulders sank at JR's words; she couldn't go into the situation alone, there was absolutely no way Jock would listen to her and there was no way JR would be released from any of his issues if it was just her fighting and speaking. "JR…" not wanting to cry, but feeling the tears welling up, she knew that any hope of a strong, to the point, life-changing conversation was gone, at least for tonight. She wanted to be the leader, she wanted to be the one that made things happen, even if they were painful at first, but she was too emotionally invested in the situation. She couldn't tell Jock what to do, she couldn't tell JR what to do, she couldn't change what had happened in the past and she couldn't change the future alone; she felt stuck, downtrodden and emotionally exhausted. She had been going through the ups and downs of life for much too long and it was all catching up to her; living in fear of her highs dropping to lows at any moment was no way to live life and she was sick of it, all of it. Why couldn't they just be a normal married couple, away from all of the family drama, lies and infidelity? Feeling her tears breaking their banks, she was surprised when JR pulled her into his arms, though she couldn't say she it was an action that completely upset her; she was already upset and she wanted comfort and to make everything better. Feeling completely comfortable with him in that moment, even though she was still technically upset with him, she knew that she was about to enter a bad situation, but once again, she felt powerless to stop it. She wanted to be strong and direct, but it was so much harder than she imagined.

Awaking early the next morning in the most familiar and calming spot she could think of, in JR's arms in their bedroom, Sue Ellen's conscious thoughts slowly moved from contented happiness to dread and worry; she couldn't keep doing this, they couldn't keep doing this, it wasn't good for her or for their marriage; something needed to change. Lying still for a few moments as she considered the current state of her life, she knew that there were really only two options and JR was going to have to make a choice if he wanted to keep her. She trusted that Doctor Williams was doing enough for them in their marriage counselling sessions that they would be able to work through their trust issues once everything was out in the open, however, to start afresh, they needed to tackle the issues they faced head-on. Jock had JR in a tight legal position and if she left Southfork and took John Ross with her, she knew he wouldn't hesitate to enact the morality clause consequences on JR and then go after her, so she really was thinking twice about physically leaving. In thinking about everything though, she knew that if they ever wanted to be free of Jock's control and JR's constant need for approval, then there really was only one solution. "JR", gently shaking him, she spoke a little louder when he stirred, "wake up; it's morning and it's time to sort all of this out once and for all".

To be continued…


	337. Jock

**Dallas, Texas**

"Daddy, Sue Ellen has a few things to say, things that I wholeheartedly agree with and support, so I'd appreciate if you'd listen to her without interrupting or arguing". Closing the office door behind him, JR looked at his father and then at his wife and then moved toward the bar, a natural action considering the context of their meeting and the location they were in. Having discussed a lot of things with Sue Ellen earlier, JR felt a little less nervous and a little more confident about confrontation with his father; he and Sue Ellen both had the same goals and although there was still tension between them, they were mostly on the same page again. It would take a lot of grovelling, real change and marriage counselling to get them back to a truly good place in their marriage; however, he was confident that as long as they settled the major issues in their lives right now, a fresh start was possible. Hearing his father muttering something under his breath, he decided to ignore whatever smart comment he'd just made for now simply because questioning it would derail the purpose of their conversation.

"Thank you JR", giving him a small smile, Sue Ellen turned toward her father-in-law, and nodding, she gave him a small smile too, "Jock". Pausing for a moment as she gathered her thoughts, quickly assessing the situation and deciding to take the high road until Jock argued otherwise, she then began to speak. "Thank you for agreeing to hear me out. A few things have come to my attention recently that I believe need to be discussed openly", taking another pause, she then launched into her planned list of topics. "Firstly, before anything else, I'd like to make my opinion on this whole thing quite clear; I understand the reasoning and motivation behind your actions, but that doesn't mean I agree with the contract itself or wish to live with the consequences of it any longer. I am hurt and disgusted by JR's infidelity, lies and deceit, and my trust in him and confidence in the success of our marriage or even a good personal relationship with each other has been damaged greatly, however, the relationship JR and I have or don't have is no one's business but ours. Whether we are happily married or not has nothing to do with Ewing Oil, so I'd appreciate it if both of you would stop connecting the two together."

"Take a step back and think about it; it's only fair that JR is next in line for the role of president of Ewing Oil, and it's only right that he is also the one that inherits Ewing Oil when you do retire. As far as I'm aware, through what I've heard from you personally, Miss Ellie, JR and in general, that has always been the plan, one that has been in place since before JR was born, so to be putting new and extra conditions on that guarantee seems entirely unfair to me. Of course, Ewing Oil is your company and you're free to do what you wish with it, and of course, I do not take any of JR's actions lightly, because they were hurtful and wrong and I do wish he'd never acted that way, however, I also know JR and I know how much Ewing Oil means to him. I don't quite know how to eloquently word what I want to say, but what my main point comes down to is that although I dislike JR's actions and I believe that there has to be consequences for those actions, I don't believe that those consequences should be automatically linked to Ewing Oil; our marriage is not a business deal. I'm not denying that we have relationship problems, however, I do not appreciate them being used as a weapon, because plain and simple, they're no one's business but ours. JR and I are currently attending marriage counselling sessions with Doctor Williams and in those sessions we are working through our marital issues together, so for now, I'd like to consider that a closed topic of discussion outside of JR, myself or Doctor Williams."

"In saying that though, I respectfully request that you please really think about that and what is right for everyone in relation to Ewing Oil and the Ewing family as a whole. I don't want to see the family separated or hurt, but I have a bad feeling about what will happen if you start punishing JR at Ewing Oil for reasons that have nothing to do with business. The fact is, JR is the eldest Ewing son and is the rightful heir to Ewing Oil, and that status combined with his knowledge, passion and love for the oil business and the fact that he has been working toward the role of president of Ewing Oil since he was a child, tells me that it's only fair. Yes, there needs to be consequences for his bad behaviour, however, it's just wrong to have the consequences for his personal behaviour be in business, and even I, JR's wife, the person affected the most by all of this, can see that. As I said earlier, our marriage is not a business deal gone wrong, it's our lives, so please, I'm asking for you as my father-in-law, JR's father, JR's boss and as a decent human being to get rid of that immoral and humiliating clause in JR's contract, and to please allow us to figure out our relationship status, alone". Pausing as she finished her main points in relation to the contract, she took a moment to really look at and analyse both JR and Jock's facial expressions, and if it hadn't been such a serious moment, she would have laughed; they both looked incredibly shocked that sweet, mild-mannered Sue Ellen Shepard/Ewing actually had her own opinion and voice. It wasn't as if JR didn't know that she had feelings and wasn't afraid of speaking them, but doing so toward such an imposing figure like his father was a new experience, one he was thoroughly impressed by though, even if she had said a few things that alluded to her hesitation about their relationship right now.

Shocked by Sue Ellen's audacity and annoyed that she was inserting herself into Ewing Oil business, even if she had a point, that it wasn't really Ewing Oil business at all, Jock looked between Sue Ellen and JR and then spoke. "JR, what kind of man are you? Are you really going to stand by and just allow a woman to speak for you? Make decisions for you?" a male chauvinist at heart, Jock's response came out sounding every bit as sexist as it was, and if Sue Ellen had been any less of a lady, a strong slap would have been the next occurrence in their meeting. However, as JR was quick and Sue Ellen was a lady, there was no time for Sue Ellen to respond before JR did it for her, and for him, "excuse me? That woman is my wife and I told you before she started speaking that I wholeheartedly agree with her and I do. My wife is just as much involved in this situation as I am and I happen to respect her opinion and feelings about all of this, and I don't think that makes me any less of a man. The fact is, I was a terrible husband, but I'm trying to be a better one now, but really, what happens in our marriage is our business and no one else's". Angry with his father, JR took a deep breath in order to control himself and stay on topic, because right now, he couldn't afford to start throwing insults, that would have to wait until after he and his father reached an agreement.

"I never should have agreed to the terms of the contract, because my marital status has nothing to do with Ewing Oil or my ability to do a good job at Ewing Oil and if what you inferred when we were originally negotiating was true anyway, the contract is pointless. I am the Ewing heir, the eldest Ewing son, I am entitled to Ewing Oil, and you always intended for it to be that way. You and I both know that I am the only Ewing son that will be able to continue to build and grow Ewing Oil at the same or greater rate than it currently is, so for us to even be negotiating the future of Ewing Oil was silly anyway. You love Ewing Oil just as much as I do and because of that, your conscience would never allow you to give up control to a less capable man like Bobby or Gary. As Sue Ellen said and as I have admitted before, I did wrong and I deserve to be punished for my misdeeds, however, my personal life and my business life aren't particularly connected and it's not fair to tie them together. I have admitted my wrongdoings to my wife and we are working through the consequences of those together, alone. In light of that discussion though, we're both requesting the contract be changed, it affects both of us and together, we want to start afresh, but to do that, we need a clean slate. So please, I'd really like for you to seriously consider it and consider allowing us to work on our marital issues independent of Ewing Oil, as it should be". Knowing he was risking a lot by talking to his father in such a direct and demanding way, JR was a little nervous, however, he also knew that he also had no other option, not really; he and Sue Ellen needed clarity and the only way to get that was to lay all of their issues out in the open. Analysing his father's facial expression, his anxiety about the situation grew, though the fact that his father hadn't immediately started screaming at him for talking back was a positive sign. Waiting and waiting, he found some comfort in Sue Ellen's hand reaching out to grasp his; the small things really did make a difference and right now, he was pleased to have any support he could get.

To be continued…


	338. Jerk

**Dallas, Texas**

"I can't believe the nerve of that man!" entering their bedroom with JR following closely behind her, Sue Ellen let out the rant that she'd been holding in since their meeting with Jock had 'politely' ended a few moments ago. "I can't believe he tried to order me out of the room so that 'the men could talk alone', as if just because I'm a woman, I have no place in the conversation. Somehow, in his eyes, I'm not affected by the situation, I don't have feelings regarding the situation, and my opinion about the situation is worthless. It's as if he didn't hear a word of what I was saying about our marriage being our business, but I was shouting when I tried to logically point out that getting rid of that clause was the right thing to do to and that you have a rightful place in Ewing Oil no matter what our personal relationship is. Selective hearing, very selective hearing", frustrated, she paced around the bedroom as she spoke. She had always been a little afraid of her father-in-law, but no longer, now she was just irritated and angry with him; the way he treated JR on a daily basis and the way he had treated her today was unacceptable and she didn't want to have to put up with it any longer. Unfortunately, Jock had the upper hand in the current situation; to rewrite JR's contract required negotiation and agreement from both Jock and JR, and a favourable outcome for JR was much more likely if his father was in a pleasant mood. The only upside of the situation right now was that for the first time in weeks Sue Ellen felt a real bond with JR as her husband and as a man rather than just as John Ross' father. He'd stepped in and defended her right to speak and right to be informed; he'd made it clear to his father that he respected her opinion and in a way, she was beginning to understand that when he said his infidelity was in the past and he was trying to be a better man, he meant it. She didn't appreciate his infidelity earlier in their marriage; his lies and purposeful omission of information regarding the situation with Cynthia Moore; or the fact that he had signed himself into a contract that essentially rewarded him for being the father and husband that he should have been anyway, but she understood some of his motivations and appreciated his apologies. Of course, apologetic words and an increased effort to be a better husband didn't make all of his previous wrongdoings just disappear and they didn't really lessen the pain she felt when she thought about everything, but it was a small comfort to know that he did care and was trying.

Turning around as she reached far wall of their bedroom, she caught sight of JR's amused facial expression for the first time since they'd entered the room, and annoyed at the fact that he did seem to be amused rather than angry or irritated like she was, she glared at him and then made a beeline for him. "What are you grinning at?" as she came to stand in front of him, staring and waiting for an answer, her annoyance at his relaxed attitude was clear, and JR knew that he needed to explain himself, he couldn't risk adding anything extra to her list of reasons why she disliked him, he was already on thin ice with her. "Darlin', calm down, I'm grinning because I'm amazed and proud… of you and who you've become", silently omitting that he was also grinning because she was sexy when she was angry, he looked her in the eye as he spoke and then paused for a moment as he watched her processing the words he did say aloud. "I completely agree with you, daddy was totally out of line in the way he spoke to you and in attempting to order you out of the room, and you're right, there was a lot of selective hearing going on in that conversation, selective hearing that favoured his and only his opinion. As you are, I'm angry that he had the nerve to speak to you like that or that he even believes that he has the right to control anything about our relationship, but in addition to that anger, I'm also incredibly proud of you and I'm and awed by your response to the situation. The Sue Ellen I married was meek and mild and in a sense, almost entirely submissive to the wishes of those who she perceived to be authority figures, but the Sue Ellen that I'm looking at now is much more independent and strong-willed. I'm not saying that either is good or bad, because I loved you when I married you and I love you just as much, if not more, now than I did then, but I can see why daddy would be surprised at the change. Think back to last month when you had strong words with your mama, now imagine having that same conversation a few years ago, in general, it's the same kind of thing with daddy, his traditional, conservative and sometimes archaic views don't exactly mesh well with the independent thinking, strong-willed Sue Ellen. Not that any of that matters though, none of what you said was wrong or inappropriate and the fact is, our relationship is no one's business but ours. I completely agree with what you said and I completely support you. I know I can't change the past and I can't take away the pain I've caused you, but I'm going to try my hardest. I love you, I have from the moment I laid eyes on you at the Miss Texas pageant, and I will do anything to keep you, including admitting where I was entirely wrong and attempting to do whatever I can to show you that I am changing". Starting off explaining why he was grinning, his words quickly turned into something much deeper and from looking at Sue Ellen, he knew that he wasn't the only one affected by them. Her expression had moved from annoyed glaring to a much softer, contemplative look and it was obvious that anger and irritation were just two of many emotions she was feeling right now. "Thank you; and I love you too", whispering her words, Sue Ellen looked at him and maintained eye contact for a few seconds before speaking again, "love isn't a magic cure though. We have so many problems right now, problems that have nothing to do with love. How are we going to get through this? Move past it? What does our future look like?" speaking her thoughts, Sue Ellen sighed to herself, they had a long way to go before everything was 'normal' again, and an even longer way to go before their lives were really good. However, with JR's attitude and support, she did feel a little more confident and optimistic, and that was a small comfort to her.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Chapter title suggested by presea221 :)**


	339. Informant

**Dallas, Texas**

"Sue Ellen? Is everything ok? You seem distracted. Please remember that you can always talk to me". Sitting in Sue Ellen's car as they made their way back to Southfork after a DOA meeting, Miss Ellie was hyperaware of the silence that surrounded them, and paired with the recent awkwardness at family meals and the general tension between JR and Sue Ellen, especially their shouting and arguing a few nights ago, she was concerned. Wincing at the question, Sue Ellen mentally scolded herself for being so obviously distracted, but after a moment of thinking about the situation as a whole, she felt differently. Turning toward Miss Ellie, she gave her a weak smile before speaking a few words, "I suppose I'm just feeling a little out of sorts right now due to all of the issues JR and I have been having lately, and now with Jock's involvement, it didn't seem right to burden you with my troubles. In general, a wife should support her husband, so to make you choose between me and Jock wouldn't be fair". Although it was a little awkward, she realised as she thought about it that it wasn't fair to lie to her mother-in-law by telling her that everything was ok when it wasn't, especially when she was so irritated with JR for lying to her; lying to her mother-in-law to 'protect her feelings' would make her a hypocrite.

In giving a basic explanation of why she seemed distracted, she had assumed that Miss Ellie had at least a basic understanding of the situation she and JR were in and what her own husband had to do with it, unfortunately though, from her quick head turn and strong verbal command, Sue Ellen realised that her assumption wasn't exactly correct. "Jock's involvement? Pull over, right here", hearing her husband's name and knowing that Sue Ellen wasn't a bad person and wouldn't speak slanderously of him without reason, Miss Ellie knew that something was really wrong, and she wanted to know exactly what that was, because Jock certainly hadn't told her anything himself. Hearing the seriousness in her mother-in-law's voice, Sue Ellen turned into a side street and then pulled over to the side. Stopping, she turned toward Miss Ellie and waited for her to speak again, though when she did, her words only made her feel more anxious about the whole situation. "It's no secret that JR hasn't been the best husband lately and it's no secret that you two have been having a few problems, however, my husband's involvement, whether he meant it to be or not, is apparently quite secretive, because I truly have no idea what Jock has to do with this whole situation. So, please, start from the beginning and don't leave any details out, I need and want to know", looking at her daughter-in-law in both a pleading and strong-willed way, Miss Ellie waited for her to begin speaking, and as she did, it soon became clear that JR was not the only deceitful Ewing husband.

"John Ross Ewing Senior! What is wrong with you!" barging into her husband's office without regard to possible important business he may be doing, Miss Ellie slammed the door behind her and walked toward his desk purposefully. Her conversation with Sue Ellen had been enlightening, but not in a good way, and after hearing what her daughter-in-law had to say, she'd demanded that they take a little visit to Ewing Oil right away; she and Jock needed to talk, now. She'd been aware of Jock's intent to force JR into a better way of life, whatever way it needed to be done, she'd gotten all the proof she'd needed to form that opinion months ago when Sue Ellen had left JR and Southfork and had been reluctant to return, and even after, when she did return to JR and Southfork. However, despite being aware of his intentions, she hadn't quite realised how far he would go, especially since he hadn't informed her of any details regarding JR's behaviour since Sue Ellen's return or what role he played in JR and Sue Ellen's recent arguments. She knew that deep down, Jock's motivations had to do with what he believed was right for the Ewing family, but she also knew that when it came to getting what he wanted, he could be ruthless. What she hadn't imagined though were the lengths he would go to to make sure that the family did stay together. She never imagined that he would basically legally force JR into submission, or that he would refuse to amend the contract when requested by both JR and Sue Ellen, and that thought in particular made her angry. It was one thing for JR to make the mistake of agreeing to such questionable terms in exchange for ownership and presidency of a company, but it was another for Jock to deny his request to remove that clause when he realised how wrong it was. Did he not want JR to start acting like a man and own up to his mistakes and try to work toward a better life for him and his family? Did he not see that he was part of the problem when it came to how greatly JR valued Ewing Oil and the mixed messages he'd received in his young adult life in regard to women, power and money? Did he not see that it was a good thing for JR to want to show that he could be a good husband without incentive? Or that he'd managed to get Sue Ellen to see things from his perspective and to support him? Did none of that matter to him? In addition to being frustrated and angry with her husband for his initial actions regarding how he'd dealt with JR's behaviour and position in Ewing Oil months ago, she was also angry with him for what Sue Ellen had described to her as happening recently. She loved him, but that didn't mean she was blinded by her love for him; he had no right to speak to Sue Ellen or JR the way he had and he had no right to keep controlling the situation like he was, and someone needed to tell him that.

To be continued…


	340. Silence

**Dallas, Texas**

"What is going on with this family? Why is everyone so quiet? Again", looking from her grandparents to her uncle and his wife and then over toward Bobby, Lucy broke the awkward silence at the dinner table. A tense atmosphere wasn't extremely unusual at Ewing meals, not when Bobby and JR were arguing about something at Ewing Oil or there were problems in the oil business in general, and it wasn't that unusual as of late for JR and Sue Ellen to be a little distant from each other, however, tonight seemed different to those situations. Tonight, it seemed like everyone was upset with everyone else, but no one was willing to say anything to each other and no one had told her why they were upset in the first place. Looking at Bobby for an answer, but receiving only a weak smile, shoulder shrug and then an awkwardly detailed vision of him cutting into his steak, she soon realised that although he was an adult, this time, he was just as clueless about the situation as she was. Sitting in silence for a few moments longer, JR cleared his throat and answered his nosy, confused niece, though it was probably not the answer she was looking for, "Lucy, didn't anyone ever tell you it's not polite to pry into other people's business?" Receiving a glare in response to his response, he then just sighed and went back to eating his own steak, silently; he wasn't in the mood to deal with Lucy as well as his parents, wife and clueless brother.

Finishing dinner, after what felt like an eternity, the family quickly separated, Miss Ellie and Lucy heading upstairs to their respective bedrooms, Jock making his way into the downstairs office for another drink and Sue Ellen heading upstairs to bathe John Ross, unfortunately for JR though, Bobby pulled him aside before he had the chance to leave the room. "JR, I want to speak to you", confused as to what was going on, but determined to find out, Bobby then motioned to his brother to join him in the living room. Walking over to the drinks cart, Bobby poured two drinks and handed his older brother one before asking him a direct question, "why are mama and daddy fighting? I know you know, so don't even try to pretend that you don't. Things have been tense around here for weeks, but that was mostly between you and Sue Ellen, then today, mama and Sue Ellen show up at Ewing Oil, a shouting match ensues and then all of a sudden, not only are things tense between you and Sue Ellen, but between the entire family. I want to know what's going on", finishing speaking, Bobby paused and waited for a response. For some reason, he naively believed that just asking JR for that information would make it happen, so when JR just finished his drink and then let out a small laugh, he was somewhat surprised. "You're right Bob, it does have something to do with me, but guessing that fact doesn't entitle you to know what that something is. Didn't you listen to anything said at dinner tonight? It's not polite to pry into other people's business", placing his empty glass back down on the drinks cart, JR looked at his brother, "now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to spend some time with my son before he goes to bed", and turning, he left the room, making his way upstairs to join Sue Ellen and John Ross.

Looking out over the ranch from her bedroom window, Miss Ellie sighed to herself, she felt silly for not putting all of the pieces together earlier and she felt unsure of how she truly felt about the situation she was in with her husband and the situation JR and Sue Ellen were in as a married couple and with Jock. If she had just thought about Jock's words a little more when he'd said them, perhaps she could have prevented some of the things he'd done; it wasn't as if he had kept her entirely in the dark, he had indicated clearly when Sue Ellen had left Southfork that he wouldn't stand by and allow her to control the situation. He had indicated clearly that he was forcing JR into bringing his wife back, by whatever means necessary. He had indicated that she had nothing to worry about after Sue Ellen's return in regard to JR's future as a good husband, and he had indicated that with JR behaving properly and with John Ross Ewing III finally present, his retirement wasn't too many years away, details he'd always been a little vague about in the past. If only she had thought a little more about what he was inferring when he made those statements rather than just listening and then reminding him to stay a safe distance away from being overbearing. If only…

Downstairs, Jock sat at the large wooden desk in the office, drinking his bourbon and branch and mulling over the day's events. How was it that in trying to do something that was equally beneficial for Ewing Oil and the Ewing family, he had managed to make everyone so angry with him? He had initially had hesitations about his decision to suggest a morality clause and had initially been bothered by the fact that he'd raised a son that needed such a clause to act like a man, it shouldn't have had to be that way. However, in negotiating the terms of the contract with JR and two lawyers, the final agreement had seemed fine to him, and to JR, so the fact that it had come up for renegotiation so quickly had struck him as odd. Because of those thoughts, he had been cautious about changing the agreement, JR wasn't exactly known for his fidelity. Unfortunately for him, somehow, in raising questions about JR's motives, questions that any father, business owner and sane negotiator would ask, somehow he'd become the bad guy. Taking another drink, he sighed to himself, everything was a mess.

To be continued…


	341. Time Out

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR?" speaking his name softly as they left their Friday appointment with Doctor Williams, the second one since JR had come clean with her about the morality clause and since the tension within the Ewing family had increased dramatically, Sue Ellen looked at her husband to gauge his mood and then continued to speak. "I'm pleased that we've had an opportunity to discuss things with Doctor Williams and I'm pleased that despite the general antagonism between the two of us, we're still able to talk calmly and put our differences aside when it comes to time spent with John Ross". Giving him a small smile, she then introduced the real reason she had begun speaking, "in light of everything that's been happening though, I'd really like to get away from Southfork for a few days. I know your daddy seems to be softening and rethinking his actions and position, but considering things and actually making changes are two different things and honestly, I'm still angry with him, and you, but more so him right now. I still find it abhorrent how he spoke to me a few days ago. Because of that, I'm not sure I can take a whole weekend at Southfork right now, the atmosphere is hardly friendly and loving. I was thinking of heading out of town, somewhere quiet, where I can think for myself for a little bit…" pausing as she gathered the courage to finish her sentence, she looked him in the eye as she started to speak again, remaining strong as she did so, "…and I want to take John Ross with me. I need to take a break from the hostile environment at Southfork."

"Now, before you start yelling, I want to make my position clear and explain why I'm telling you right now instead of just leaving like I did last time; this is different to the last time, this is not me as a wife leaving her husband, it's me as a person needing a break. I want to take John Ross with me because he's my son, I love him, I want to care for him, he should be with me as his mother and experiences away from Southfork are good for him. If you wish, you may join us, but I want to make it clear that that offer is nothing more than fairness toward you as John Ross' father. I am still hurt and confused about our marriage and I don't intend to just forget everything and resume our relationship as if the lies, deceit and actions that caused my trust to be severely damaged never happened. As I said earlier though, I'm pleased with our progress with Doctor Williams, so I don't believe that our relationship will never improve, I'm just saying that I'm not ready for any serious developments right now, so if you do choose to come away with us, please remember that". Leaving her words hanging for a moment, allowing JR to process them, she wondered how he was going to take it and hoped that he reacted well rather than badly. Despite their marital issues, she couldn't deny that he was a good father and that he was taking their sessions with Doctor Williams seriously, so she respected him enough to take his feelings into consideration when making decisions, though his feelings didn't stop her from actually making the decisions. She intended to leave Southfork for a few days and she intended to take John Ross with her, but there was no reason for her to do so in a hostile manner, she didn't want to introduce any more drama into her life than already existed.

Going through a number of emotions as Sue Ellen spoke, first feeling happy at her acknowledgement of their progress and their dedication to their son, then feeling hurt that she wanted to take some time away, then angry at the mention of taking John Ross with her, JR eventually found himself feeling more optimistic and calm as she finished speaking. He wasn't stupid, he knew that regaining her trust and rebuilding her want to be his wife wasn't going to be fast or easy. The fact that they were seeking professional help for their problems, she was being so level-headed about their relationship and was communicating her need for time and space to him, seemed like a good start though. He couldn't argue with her comments about the atmosphere at Southfork, the way his father had treated her or her overall need for space, because in general, he understood and agreed, and with her explicit clarification that she was not leaving him and invitation for him to join her and John Ross, he saw no reason to make a fuss. It was clear that she was sick of dealing with the constant problems that presented themselves in her life, and honestly, so was he, so if a quiet weekend away was what she wanted, then that's what he would give her. "I'd like that. Did you have a location in mind?"

Optimistically, he hoped that perhaps their time away together, away from the distractions of Dallas, would give them time to think and talk, openly and more clearly, but even if it didn't and it was exactly as she had told him it would be, that was ok too. He enjoyed being a father and he had no doubt that Sue Ellen was completely content in her role as a mother, so to get to spend quality time together with John Ross was worth it in itself. "No, I hadn't really thought that far ahead, I was just going to see where a travel agent recommended, the woman I used when booking our Aspen trip was very informative", thinking back on their trip to Aspen, she felt a little sad, they'd been so happy on that trip, but somehow, just a few months later, everything had changed. Smiling to himself as he too remembered the their weekend in Aspen, JR then thought about the other trips they'd taken as a couple, and soon thought of the perfect location for their family weekend, "how about the lake house?" Remembering how much she'd enjoyed the lake house and knowing that it matched what she was looking for, he was pleased when she leaned up and kissed his cheek, "perfect. Thank you JR". Their relationship was nowhere near perfect or fixed, but cordiality was so much more pleasant than aggression or the pain of losing her, so whatever he could do to at least maintain that feeling, he would, and a trip to the lake house was the perfect start.

To be continued…


	342. Permanent?

**Dallas, Texas**

"I don't like it. Why did you let them go? How do we know that they're really just staying at the lake house? What if that's just a cover story and they don't plan on coming back at all? That'll ruin everything!" grumbling and then shouting at his wife as they stood in the living room waiting for Bobby and Lucy to arrive for pre-dinner cocktails, Jock Ewing then gulped down his drink and made his way back over to the drinks cart for another, he needed it. "Stop shouting! I will not have your anger and distrust ruining family dinner for us Ewings who are actually here", raising her own voice in response to her husband, Miss Ellie then paused, recentered herself and then spoke again, this time in a more calm manner. "Now, to answer your questions: I didn't object to them leaving because it's not my place to stop or forbid them from taking a short vacation, they're adults and as much as we like to have our opinions heard, we can't force them on them. As for whether they are really staying at the lake house, we really have to just trust that they are, however, since they have given me no reason to doubt that they are, I don't doubt it and I do trust that they're there and that they'll be back on Sunday evening exactly as planned. Regarding the possibility of it being a cover story for something bigger, well, I certainly hope it isn't, and as I said, I don't believe it is, especially since all of their things are still here and it's clear that JR wants what he's always wanted, Ewing Oil for himself and a real legacy plan for his son. I don't believe he would just leave Southfork, he may not have many Southworth traits, but he knows how much family means to us and how much it means to us to have that family at Southfork. Sue Ellen too, although she doesn't have nearly as much history with Southfork as the rest of us, I believe that she loves this ranch, even if just the land and amenities, not the people, because right now, I very much understand why she'd have a problem with the people. Still though, I have no reason to doubt their return". Speaking calmly but firmly, Miss Ellie sighed to herself when almost immediately after uttering her final words, Jock responded, "problem with the people? What does that mean? We've been nothing but good to that girl and yes, JR made mistakes and then made a mess of the situation by involving her instead of being a man and dealing with it himself, but even in that situation, she should've realised that I was really doing her a favour, I guaranteed that JR would act like a proper husband". Stopping as he thought about it, now angrier than ever that everyone had gotten involved in the situation and was blaming him for the way it had all happened, Jock mumbled a few words and then poured himself another drink.

Glaring at her husband, Miss Ellie shook her head and then spoke, again using a calm but stern tone, "that's exactly the problem, both Sue Ellen and JR have explained it to you before and they have a point, it's not right to connect business successes and consequences with personal successes and consequences. I understand that you believe you were doing the right thing when you and JR signed that contract and I believe you when you tell me that you did think long and hard about that decision prior to suggesting the contract or negotiating the terms, but I don't think you're seeing the rest of the situation clearly. When JR asked you to renegotiate, he was doing so in good faith, he wanted to be a better husband and put his past behind him, but you questioned his motivations and he reacted to that questioning by doing what he saw as an honest action, he told his wife everything, as he should have in the first place. You cannot hold it against Sue Ellen for getting involved or getting angry, this concerns her just as much as you or JR, whether you like it or not. On that note, I don't believe that…" stopping in the middle of her sentence as she caught sight of her granddaughter entering the room, Miss Ellie simply looked her husband in the eye and silently warned him not to ruin the rest of the evening, at least not until they were alone. He may be the man of the house, but that didn't automatically give him the right to control everyone and it didn't shield him from having his decisions questioned. She and Jock would be having a long discussion later that evening, because he needed to hear exactly that.

**Denison, Texas**

Watching John Ross' eyes droop and then eventually close, Sue Ellen laid her son down in the small, foldable travel bed she'd purchased at The Store earlier in the day, watched him sleeping for a few moments and then motioned to JR to follow her out into the hallway. "He'll feed again at around eleven, but other than that, Mrs Smith has informed me that he sleeps through the night most of the time now, so we probably won't need to tend to him again until around six thirty or seven tomorrow morning. She did say that he does occasionally still wake up in the night though, sometimes for feeding, other times just because he wants to be held and soothed. I'll sleep in this room tonight just in case he does wake", explaining the general situation to JR, she was pleased when he didn't put up a fight and agreed to her plan, additionally offering to feed John Ross his morning bottle so that she could sleep in for a little while. Thanking him, she happily agreed to his plan and for a brief moment, she felt lighter. She hadn't forgiven him for his actions yet and she still wasn't sure she was ready to do so either, however, kind and compassionate JR was a JR that she liked and she was pleased to see that that side of him still existed outside of his paternal role.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: The foldable baby travel bed is something I found a photo of in a 1969 Sears catalogue. It's currently 1972 in the story, but as far as I'm aware, the items available for children's travel and safety didn't develop too much between those years.**


	343. Circles

**Denison, Texas**

"Sue Ellen?" bored and restless, JR wandered outside in search of his wife. Much to his disappointment, her earlier explanation of the purpose of their weekend away from Southfork hadn't been an exaggeration, and in the few hours they had been at the lake house, they really hadn't talked or spent time together outside of being parents to John Ross. After a quick dinner together, speaking only about general topics, they had separated for a while as JR gave John Ross his bath and Sue Ellen cleaned and tidied the kitchen and dining room. They had then spent a little time together reading John Ross a story and feeding him before putting him to bed, and almost immediately after doing so, Sue Ellen had had made a quick comment about going outside for some air and then separated herself for some alone time. That had been over an hour ago and since he hadn't had quite as much time to plan and pack for their weekend away, JR hadn't even really thought about bringing any books, work paperwork or other items to entertain himself with during their downtime earlier when he was packing, and now, inevitably, he was fidgety and bored. There was only so much attention he could pay to investigating the miscellaneous items that remained in the house from previous family vacations before he lost interest. He hated not having anything to do and he hated thinking about the fact that his wife was in such close proximity but was avoiding him. After a good amount of time procrastinating and thinking about it though, he decided that the situation couldn't really get much worse than what it already was, and he'd never know what she was thinking if he didn't at least try to find out, so heading outside, he called her name and looked around. Spotting her sitting by the pool, looking out over the lake, he knew she was probably deep in thought, because since it was long past sunset, it was dark and honestly, although the lake was pretty, right now, there wasn't much to see.

Jumping slightly as he sat down next to her, Sue Ellen turned toward her husband and smiled shyly, her embarrassment growing as he explained himself. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you. I did call your name", offering an apology, JR took her lack of argument or hostility as a sign to sit down next to her, and when she let out a small sigh of what he assumed to be relief and then laughed a little, he was pleased, she wasn't upset by his presence. "I… I didn't hear you. You scared me a little, though thinking about it now, it sounds so silly", having been completely lost in thought, she honestly hadn't heard or noticed him until he was right there, standing and then sitting beside her, however, now that she knew, she was surprisingly ok with it. Her thoughts had been mostly about their marriage and the issues that they faced because of JR's inability to tell the truth and live virtuously, however, although she was angry with JR, their sessions with Doctor Williams and her general empathy for him as a person lessened the severity of those feelings. It was clear to her that JR's want to make things better for them was honest and his father's refusal to help them do so was really hurting him, however, she was still having a little trouble reconciling those thoughts and working out where to go to from there. The truth was, she loved JR and she wanted to be with him, but she didn't want to have to deal with the trouble that seemed to constantly surround them. She didn't want to have to worry about whether he was being faithful to her, but she also didn't want to have to be suspicious of his motives when she believed he was being faithful to her, and she didn't want to have to question whether he was withholding information from her or purposely deceiving her. At the heart of it, she wanted them to be a happily married couple, but for some reason, there was always something to get in the way of them attaining that status, at least for long periods of time. In general, she loved the Ewing family, she loved the ranch and she loved that JR was so powerful and passionate about his role in the oil industry, however, the general idea of each of those things was often more pleasant than the reality and she was sick of dealing with the less pleasant realities. Thinking about it so often only made everything more confusing though, because most of the time, she ended up going in circles and coming out feeling more uncertain than she did to begin with.

Sensing that despite her general ease at his presence, Sue Ellen wasn't exactly relaxed, JR felt nervous and guilty again, however, remembering something Doctor Williams had told him many times, he decided not to dwell on the negatives of the situation, a lot of which was focused on the past, and instead, try to make a difference to their future. He had to show her that he was capable of being the husband she deserved, not just repeatedly tell her that he was sorry and would do better. "It's not silly, I know what it's like to be so deep in thought or so engrossed in an activity that you become desensitised to everything around you. I'm sorry I scared you, I really just came outside to check that you were ok and see whether you needed anything, I didn't mean to startle you". Bending the truth a little, leaving out the part of his motivation that had to do with his antsiness, he was actually a little relieved when Sue Ellen let out a small laugh and responded to his comment in a much more light-hearted tone than their former exchange, "it's fine, I'm fine, no harm done. I'm actually a little surprised that you didn't appear earlier. Not that I was willing you to, but from previous experience, whether we were on good terms or not, you and I never lasted too long alone together without something happening". Speaking as she continued to look out at the darkness and the lake, Sue Ellen didn't even need to turn to look at her husband to know that he had a confused look on his face; her general observations had a way of sounding like invitations for something more, even when they weren't necessarily meant that way. Relaxing a little, JR was both confused and happy, he didn't understand her at all sometimes, but he wasn't going to question why she had suddenly changed tone, especially not when it was a good change; this was the least formal conversation they'd had for a while and he was happy to be having it.

To be continued…


	344. Future Considerations

**Denison, Texas**

Awaking just before seven in the morning out of habit, Sue Ellen looked at the clock and then willed herself to go back to sleep for a little longer, she had a rare opportunity and it felt wrong to waste it. Living at Southfork, breakfast was served promptly at eight and attendance was expected, and combined with the fact that she didn't want to be impolite or seem lazy and wanted to be a hands-on mother to her son, sleeping in was something she almost never did. Today was different though, she wasn't at Southfork and as he had promised, JR had come in to collect John Ross earlier, so she had nowhere she needed to be and there was no one around to judge her for what she did or didn't do with her time. She had no doubts about JR's capability or willingness to care for John Ross, so right now really was the perfect opportunity to rest and relax for a little while, however, knowing and doing were two different things and as much as she wanted to, her mind was now awake and sleeping was not on her agenda. Lying in bed for a few minutes, she eventually gave up trying to sleep or even just rest, because thinking about her son and husband downstairs and the lovely, peaceful environment that awaited her when she did eventually step outside today, staying in bed now seemed like a waste. When they were happily married, she and JR were usually desperate to spend time alone together as a couple or with John Ross, and although the state of their marriage was still up in the air, she was softening and she want to enjoy every opportunity for alone time with her family. Sitting up, she got out of bed and walked into the bathroom to get ready for the day; she was awake, so she may as well make the most of it.

An hour later, after having breakfast as a family, Sue Ellen, John Ross and JR set out for a nice morning walk along the lakeshore. She hadn't necessarily planned on spending time with JR this weekend, but right now, Sue Ellen found it to be a pleasant and appealing idea, because so far, he had been nothing but sweet to her and if she was honest with herself, she really did miss being in a good, happy relationship, specifically, a good, happy relationship with JR. Having had a little time to think after their conversation the previous evening, as well as during the few weeks of their separation back in Dallas, she was finally coming to terms with the way things were. Attending sessions with Doctor Williams hadn't just suddenly changed everything and allowed her to forget the past, but thinking and talking things through, she had started to see the other side of events, especially in relation to the incident with Cynthia Moore and her son and the situation with Jock and the morality clause in JR's contract. Yes, it was JR's decision to be unfaithful to her in their early marriage and it was his actions that had brought a possible illegitimate child into their lives, however, as angry as she had been about that situation itself, she did truly believe that he felt guilty and remorseful, he wanted to change and he was changing. The morality clause in his contract was both degrading and particularly counterproductive if the aim was for JR to learn a lesson about being a good husband because it was the right thing to do, however, after considering and discussing with JR, Jock and Doctor Williams, she also somewhat understood why it existed and why JR had agreed to it. It was a small comfort to her when she realised that JR was telling the truth when he said he hadn't been unfaithful to her since they'd reconciled earlier in the year, and the commitment he'd made to her during that time had been because he'd wanted to, not because he was being guaranteed a reward if he did so. If he could promise that there would be no secrets, lies or other deceit in their future relationship, and he could promise to keep acting like the husband that everyone wanted him to be and he claimed he wanted to be, then perhaps a reconciliation was possible. There was still the issue of JR's relationship with his father and his current indebtedness to his wishes via the contract he refused to renegotiate right now, however, with the general tense atmosphere at Southfork over the past week, she had a feeling that Jock was beginning to have a few revelations of his own. If Jock hadn't been so rude to her in his quick dismissal of her opinion, she would've probably understood more of his motivations, but right now, she only empathised with his decisions on a very basic level; Jock wanted his eldest son to behave and if he had to bribe him to do so, then so be it. Choosing to not think too much about the situation with her father-in-law right now though, Sue Ellen sighed happily as she and JR fell into a comfortable silence on their walk; so far, they were having a nice family weekend together and she wanted to make the most of the remaining time they had together.

Walking along the lakefront and into a wooded park area, they carefully made their way up a small cliff to a lookout. Looking out over Lake Texoma, Sue Ellen broke the silence between them, "I'm really enjoying this", smiling to herself contentedly and then looking at John Ross and JR, she verbalised her thoughts in a very general, but meaningful way. For the first time in weeks, she felt good about her life outside of being a mother and she wanted JR to know. "So am I darlin'. Thank you for including me", genuinely meaning what he said and genuinely pleased that his wife had expressed her feelings to him, JR too felt good and had good feelings about what the future held for them, especially the immediate future. It was only Saturday morning and they were already on a good path, so he was optimistic and intended on doing everything he could to win his wife back and be the husband he wanted to be and she wanted him to be.

To be continued…


	345. Breakthrough

**Denison, Texas**

"How is he? Is everything ok now?" worriedly looking at his wife, JR was relieved when she nodded and then gave him a small, sympathetic smile. "Yes, he's fine. He's asleep now. I think he was just overstimulated by the new environment and since we did cut it a bit close to his usual naptime, he was probably very tired by the time we got back here. His fussiness continued as I changed him, but he calmed down a little when I closed the curtains, then when I gave him his bottle, I think that's when he finally began to relax, because I didn't even have to sing or read to him after that, he didn't even finish his bottle before he fell asleep". Explaining the events to JR, Sue Ellen understood his worry and relief; it was painful to see their son so clearly upset, but it was definitely reassuring to know that nothing was seriously wrong. The fact was, he was a baby who had a set routine and didn't do very well outside of that routine; now that they knew that though, they wouldn't repeat the same mistakes again.

"Good, I was starting to worry", speaking in a vulnerable manner, JR let out a relieved sigh and then looked at his wife, she was a wonderful mother and John Ross was lucky to have her. Seeing his pain, Sue Ellen walked toward her husband and hugged him, "I know, but he's fine now, everything's ok, you can relax", pulling away from him a little, she looked him in the eye as she finished speaking, "you're a great father, you do know that don't you?" Understanding his thoughts and feelings when it came to his father and him being a father to their son, she felt the need to comfort and reassure him. In business, he was a strong, powerful man who wasn't shaken easily, but when it came to his family, he was a little more vulnerable and cared a little more about what people thought. She loved his strong, powerful persona, but she also loved his softer side and she absolutely encouraged him to show that side every so often. It wasn't good for him to keep his feelings inside him and when they communicated their vulnerabilities to each other in order to gain support and strength, it really did improve their marriage. "Thank you darlin'. You know that goes for you too don't you? You're a wonderful mother. That little boy upstairs is the best thing we ever did and no matter how difficult or painful some of the situations we face as parents can be, I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together, as a family". Feeling sentimental, JR expressed feelings about them as a family, and deep down, he hoped that in time, she would consider reinstating their relationship as more than just parents. He really did love her and he really was sorry for his actions and all of the pain he'd caused her in the past, so he genuinely hoped that she could find it in her to forgive him and give their marriage another chance. All he needed was an opportunity to show her that he could be the husband she deserved.

Hearing the sincerity in her husband's words and being in such close proximity with him physically, Sue Ellen's feelings for him and feelings about the situation as a whole started to come together, and willing herself not to cry, at least not yet, she spoke a few words, words that were music to JR's ears. "Thank you… I… I think I'm ready to talk now. About us, about our marriage and our future", looking him in the eye as she spoke, she felt vulnerable but also happy about the clear joy that JR felt at hearing her words. They needed to talk, she needed to listen to his apologies and forgive him for the things he was genuinely sorry for and genuinely wanted to change, and she was ready to do that now.

**Dallas, Texas**

Walking out of the elevator and into the reception area of the Ewing Oil offices, Bobby Ewing paused and looked around before making any further moves. It wasn't that really he thought anybody else was there, the office was closed on the weekends and with JR out of town and his father working the ranch with Ray for the day, there was no possibility of his visit being interrupted, however, there was nothing wrong with being cautious. Hearing nothing, as expected, he quickly and quietly made his way down the hallway to his father's office. Using the extra set of keys he had 'borrowed' from inside the locked drawer of the desk in the office at Southfork, he then unlocked the door to his father's office and entered. Feeling both guilty and ashamed as he closed the door behind him, he put those feelings aside for a few moments in order to do what he needed to do, or what he'd convinced himself he needed to do. It was clear that something was going on between Jock and JR and whatever that something was, it had a lot to do with not only them, but Ewing Oil and JR's family too; what that something was though, he really had no idea and that bothered him. No one would tell him anything, but from the small snippets of information he'd heard and pieced together, he felt as if he really was missing out on information that affected him in some way and he didn't like that. Sure, he didn't hold as high of a position in Ewing Oil as his father or brother did, but he was still a Ewing and he still put a lot of time and energy into building Ewing Oil up, so if there was something going on in the company that would affect him, he wanted to know about it. Unlocking his father's filing cabinet, he suddenly realised that despite being a man on a mission, he really had no idea what he was looking for and no idea where to start. Sighing to himself, he took a step back to think about it and as he did, he suddenly felt silly for not considering the obvious facts to begin with; the files marked John Ross Ewing, Sr. and John Ross Ewing, Jr. may not hold all the answers he was looking for, but they were probably a good starting point. His father and brother were hiding something and he was determined to find out what it was.

To be continued…


	346. Reunion

**Dallas, Texas**

Slamming his car door shut as he stepped out onto the driveway, Bobby Ewing felt frustrated and betrayed. He expected JR to be conniving, it was who he was, but he'd never expected their father to agree to such an unfair, poorly planned idea. He didn't know exactly why is father and brother were arguing, but now, instead of just being a confused bystander, he was a hurt bystander. He'd always been his father's favourite son, he knew that, so naturally, he'd assumed that by following in his father's footsteps and pleasing him with his accomplishments, he would be rewarded, and so far, he had, however, what he'd read today worried him and he was angry about it. He didn't expect to one day be president of Ewing Oil, that was JR's future role, he was the eldest son and frankly, he was the more experienced and business-wise son, so he had no real issue with that part of the agreement. What he did take issue with though was the fact that his father had basically guaranteed JR full legal ownership and control of Ewing Oil in the future as long as he followed a few, basic rules, rules that any decent human being knew to be right anyway. Not only were the terms much too light for the reward, but the fact that JR needed to be bribed to treat his wife properly seemed repulsive to him, despite the fact that his own job for Ewing Oil was all about bribing men. What offended him the most about the whole thing though was that in the entire written document that he'd read, there wasn't one mention of him or his future at Ewing Oil. It shocked him that his father didn't seem to have done much thinking at all when it came to Ewing Oil as a family business outside of those named John Ross Ewing, because otherwise he would've surely realised that JR had no intention of sharing Ewing Oil when he did gain control. He had truly believed that his father cared about his contribution to Ewing Oil, but from the evidence he had read earlier, that didn't seem to be the case, and that really did upset him. Noting that his father's car wasn't parked in the driveway and remembering that he was out ranching for the day, he entered the house and immediately made his way to his room; their confrontation would have to wait a little longer.

**Denison, Texas**

"…I want to know that when you say that you want to be a better husband, you mean it, and I want to know that I'll never have to worry about your fidelity again. I want to be able to trust you when we're not together, because it's not healthy to be distrusting, but it's also not easy to just forget all of the pain of the past. I want to know that you respect me and love me enough that doing right by me is a default, not something you have to force yourself to do, and I want to know that when we return to Southfork, the current issues with your father will be resolved somehow and our future with him will be a respectful one. I won't stand for being treated disrespectfully and I know you feel the same way when it comes to your father's attitude toward me, but I want confirmation that if another argument does start, I won't be left to fend for myself. I don't want us to be fighting with your mama and daddy, I don't want to be fighting with you and I don't want the atmosphere at Southfork to be a negative one, but I can't help but react to some of the injustices in my life… our lives". Pausing for a moment to gauge whether any of her words appeared to be registering with him, Sue Ellen was satisfied when JR nodded and periodically murmured in agreement before patiently waiting for her to continue, and sensing his attitude, she softened her approach a little as she moved on to the second part of her speech.

"I've really enjoyed our time here at the lake house so far and I've had enough time alone to think about a few things and to really come to terms with what I want for our future together, not just as John Ross' parents, but as a married couple too. I love you, I want to be your wife, I want you to be my husband and I want us to be happy in those roles with each other. If you're willing to try, then I want to work with you to rebuild our marriage; I'm ready to do that now". Looking him in the eye as she spoke, she knew that he was extremely happy to hear what she was saying, a fact that pleased her and gave her hope, though she knew that she needed to get a promise for the other side of the situation too before making any further moves toward reuniting. "Before we move toward that though, what I want to make clear is that I do not want to go back to the way things were and I will not allow our lives to head in that direction again. If you can promise me that this won't all be in vain, then I'm willing to try. I love you JR". Looking at him as she finished speaking, she was both surprised and pleased to see the raw emotion on his face and when he stepped closer to her, she felt her attraction to him intensify. It had been a long time since they'd been romantically involved and the anticipation and excitement she felt now was overwhelming, she truly did love him and want the best for their future together, all she needed to hear first was an honest promise.

"Thank you", maintaining eye contact as he responded to her, JR felt wonderful, "I love you Sue Ellen and I promise, the bad times in our life together are over now. I'm sorry for all of the pain I caused you and I intend to work with you to move past that pain, I want us to come out the other side, stronger and happier. We'll deal with daddy when we get back, but for now, I just want to tell you that I will definitely be there to support and defend you. You're my wife, I love you and I intend on showing you how much you mean to me, for the rest of our lives together". Moving even closer to her, he closed the gap between them and kissed her, slowly and passionately, letting her feel how greatly he loved her and in return feeling how greatly she loved him. It felt wonderful to finally be in a good place with each other again and he didn't intend on making any more mistakes; he'd lived life without his wife and he didn't like it and didn't ever want to experience it again.

To be continued…


	347. Up and Down

**Dallas, Texas**

"Mama? Where's daddy?" entering the living room for pre-dinner cocktails, Bobby's frustration only grew at the sight of his mother, his niece and one of her friends. It wasn't that he had any issues with those present in the room, he was just irritated by the fact that his father was usually a stickler for timekeeping, but for some reason, the one time he actually needed to speak to him, he was nowhere to be found. He had been waiting all afternoon for his father to return from ranching with Ray and as of right now, he still hadn't seen him, and the longer he had to think about the information he'd found, the more offended he felt by it. It just wasn't fair and he needed to make his feelings known. "Oh, he won't be joining us tonight. Ray and the boys are doing a cattle drive and you know how much he enjoys that sort of thing. He'll be home tomorrow afternoon sometime. You can probably join them tomorrow if you're interested, I'm sure they'd be happy to have another man to help". Not noticing the disappointment and frustration her youngest son was feeling, because he was trying hard to maintain a neutral façade and because out of her three sons, he was the one she worried the least about, Miss Ellie explained her husband's absence and then moved on to answering a question posed to her by her granddaughter. Disappointed and frustrated, Bobby sighed and then resigned himself to the fact that his conversation with his father was going to have to wait until tomorrow.

**Denison, Texas**

Quietly entering the bedroom that she had been sharing with John Ross the previous night, Sue Ellen smiled to herself as she felt a mixture of excitement and happiness. Having spent the afternoon and evening switching between family time and couple time and then focused a lot more on couple time after putting John Ross down for the night, she and JR were now very well reacquainted with each other physically, and on an emotional level, she once again felt wonderfully close and connected to him. Things weren't completely perfect and they probably never would be, but they felt pretty close to perfect and it was a wonderful change from what had become the norm in their relationship recently. As long as they continued to see Doctor Williams, continued to work on communicating openly and honestly with each other, continued to be committed to their marriage and remained strong and united in their current disagreement with Jock and did work to seek closure in that disagreement, she truly felt that things would work out.

Removing her robe and sliding into bed, she then held back a giggle at the thought that popped into her mind as JR joined her. Naturally, since John Ross was asleep in her bedroom, they'd used JR's bedroom for their intimate activities earlier, however, although John Ross had slept through the night the previous night, she still didn't quite feel comfortable leaving him all alone, so she'd convinced JR to move back across the hall for the sleeping portion of the night. What amused her about the situation though was the fact that she felt a certain type of nervousness about making noise and being caught that she hadn't felt in years; it just seemed like such a silly reaction to be having, especially since the situation they were in now couldn't have been further from the situations of the past. She'd been a controlled, proper young lady when she and JR were dating, she'd withheld a certain amount of intimacy from him until after they were married, though she'd still given him more than what her mother approved of, however, despite the fact that they were married now, some of her old cautious thoughts still remained. Logically, she knew that she and JR were adults and they were the only people in the house, apart from their infant son who had no idea what was going on anyway, but despite those facts, there was still a tiny part of her mind that worried her mother was going to call and check-up on her any minute now. Her amusement came from the absurdity of the whole situation; it was ridiculous how much control she'd allowed her mother to have over her thoughts and actions, but somehow, her mother had justified all of it and in the end, it had all worked out in her favour. The past didn't particularly matter anymore though, she was a different person now to who she had been back then, so the way she saw things now and the strength she had now were irrelevant when considering her past self, but still, analysing the situation now, she could see the funny side. Mentally acknowledging that her mother had scarred her, but also acknowledging that that was in the past and she'd moved on from that part of her life, she then turned her thoughts toward the present, she was on vacation with her husband and son and their future together was looking bright; she was happy, very, very happy.

Awaking early on Sunday morning at the sound of John Ross' small coos and gurgles, JR slowly and quietly got out of bed and put his robe on, trying his hardest not to wake Sue Ellen but knowing he'd failed at that task when he saw her turn over and sleepily open her eyes. Kneeling back down on the bed, he kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear, "it's ok, I've got him. You sleep for as long as you want", and then walking over, he picked his son up out of his tiny bed. Receiving a small smile from his wife and then a larger smile and a soft coo of happiness from his son, he felt like the happiest and luckiest man alive. It may have been early in the morning and since John Ross didn't exactly smell fresh anymore, there was certainly a little bit of unpleasantness waiting for him to deal with in a few minutes, but knowing that he had a wife and son that loved him and truly wanted to be around him made it all worth it.

To be continued…


	348. Fall

**McKinney, Texas**

"Please, it'll be fun", widening her eyes and pouting a little, Sue Ellen attempted to convince her husband to get off the highway early so that could do one last activity before returning home. It wasn't that JR needed to be convinced to spend time with his family, it was more that he needed to be convinced to spend time doing the activity Sue Ellen had been fixated on since spotting a promotional sign on the side of the road half an hour ago. "Darlin', have you forgotten that we live on a ranch? Why would we make a special visit to someone else's ranch to look at horses or sit on a hay bale? We can do those things at Southfork anytime", raising an eyebrow as he spoke, but also slowly softening as he took note of her begging expression, JR waited for her response. It wasn't that he didn't want to spend time with Sue Ellen and John Ross, because he did, but did they really have to attend some wannabe Ewing barbecue as members of the general public? He wasn't particularly fond of animals or agricultural activities anyway, but if he had to do them, then once or twice a year at Southfork events was enough for him. "Well, firstly, because it sounds like fun and I think John Ross would like it, and secondly, because it's not a ranch, it's a farm, a pumpkin farm, and there are no pumpkins at Southfork. Besides, I know you, you pretend to dislike hayrides and horses, but you don't really, and I'm sure you can pay someone to let us have a trailer all to ourselves, you're JR Ewing". Grinning at him, she attempted to appeal to his egotistical side by convincing him that a fun family day out was an opportunity for him to bribe someone and make his power known, and watching him as she finished speaking and he processed what she was saying, she knew it had worked. Thinking about it, JR knew she was probably right, and even if she wasn't, there was no harm in at least checking it out, it would make her happy, John Ross did seem to enjoy animals and colours, and if nothing else, the photographs would look nice in their family album. "Fine, we'll go", giving her a small smile, he then turned his attention back to the highway.

Smiling to herself as JR agreed to her plans, Sue Ellen then verbalised their plans to John Ross, "did you hear that John Ross? Daddy's going to take us to a pumpkin farm. I know, it sounds silly when I say it like that, but it'll be fun, I promise. There will be horses, a petting zoo, pumpkins and maybe even a corn maze. You'll love it". Not really sure whether he understood what she was saying or whether he just recognized the sound of his mother's voice, she explained the situation anyway, it was enjoyable to see her son thinking about her words and then hearing him respond to her in his own language. The confirmation of their detour combined with her general happiness as a mother and a wife right now allowed her to relax and enjoy the rest of the car ride in a way that she hadn't earlier in the day. In all honesty, although she and JR were back together and on the same page again in marriage, she was still a little nervous and apprehensive about returning to Southfork. The atmosphere at the ranch hadn't exactly been friendly lately, so she wanted to delay returning for as long as possible. What was on her mind just as much as the tension waiting for them at home though was the sadness she felt at the impending end of their family alone time. She, JR and John Ross had been away from Southfork for less than two full days, but in that time, she'd really grown to love the privacy and calmness of their own space and although it sounded silly seeing as it had been such a short amount of time, she felt as if they'd fallen into a nice rhythm. It was nice to be able to decide for themselves what they would do and when they would do it and it felt wonderful not to have to worry about what other people thought of their actions. As much as she loved Southfork as a place, the lack of privacy and independence did get tiresome sometimes. Yes, the surroundings were beautiful and it was nice to be a part of a big family when everything was going well, but the moment things started to turn in the opposite direction, so did her attitude. It wasn't an everyday feeling, most of the time things were what they were and she enjoyed them, but then there were times where the obligatory family meals and close quarters really didn't do anything positive for family relations and it did all become a bit much for her to deal with. Making a mental note to assess the situation when they returned and then possibly approach JR with the idea of either taking more family vacations or making some kind of permanent change in the future, she then put those thoughts aside in favour of happier ones. She, JR and John Ross still had a couple of hours left to be a family of three and she wanted to make the most of that time.

Kneeling down to place John Ross on the grass so that he could touch the pumpkins and dry leaves, Sue Ellen looked up at her husband and grinned, "admit it, this really isn't as bad as you thought it was going to be". Although the pumpkins and leaves seemed to be the things John Ross was the most interested in out of all of the activities provided, they'd still managed to make their way around the various stalls and attractions without any grumbling from JR or whining from John Ross. "Well, I still don't see why he can't just pet a calf at Southfork, it's not like we don't have plenty of them… but seeing as you seem to want to hear me say it, I will. No, this wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, in fact, as much as I dislike ranching, I can almost see the appeal in farming. It's kind of nice to see crops growing instead of just field and fields of grass. Still, crops and ranching are secondary uses of land, only to be approved after a geological evaluation has declared them no good for drilling. Oil fields, they don't necessarily look pretty, but damn they're a beautiful sight to see, if that makes any sense…" Catching himself before he started a long spiel about oil, something his wife probably didn't care about other than in the sense that it supported their family, he then crouched down next to her to watch John Ross happily crunch dried leaves and prod the pumpkin in front of him; it was hardly riveting, but it was definitely cute. "It does", smiling at him as she replied, Sue Ellen then sighed happily, it felt wonderful to be part of a happy, loving family and she hoped that whatever the atmosphere was like when they returned to Southfork, the three of them could at least remain at their current level of happiness.

To be continued…


	349. Change of Heart

**Dallas, Texas**

Sitting outside on the patio together, Miss Ellie was the first to spot the returning family, "they're home", happily commenting to her husband, she then looked at him more seriously, "I meant what I said Jock. Please, do the right thing, for all of us. Give JR a chance to prove himself…" Things had been tense between them since the previous week when she had found out the details of Jock and JR's deal and the disagreement they were in because of JR's request to rewrite the terms, a request that Jock questioned the motivation behind. She understood Jock's scepticism about JR's motivation to change things now, but what she didn't understand or approve of and what they had argued at length about was the fact that he had offered such a deal in the first place and that when requested by both JR and Sue Ellen in good faith, he had still refused to budge.

JR's initial actions weren't right, he should have never been unfaithful to his wife, however, just because he was a bad husband didn't make him a bad businessman and thinking about it, she saw where Sue Ellen was coming from when she defended her husband and took his side, even in times of personal disagreement. She was aware that both she and Jock had made mistakes in the way they had raised their sons, and she couldn't disagree with the opinion that with as much as JR did for Ewing Oil and with the promises that had been made to him, it was only right that he be rewarded for his hard work and dedication. Simply put, when considering the entire picture of the Ewing son's lives and the privileges and expectations that they had been raised with, anything less than JR becoming president of Ewing Oil when Jock retired was completely unfair. Thinking about it, presidency was the least JR deserved, and the ownership that the morality clause promised him was really just a written guarantee of what was right, both morally and in a business sense. Out of all three Ewing boys, JR was the one that was the most dedicated to the company and held the deepest understanding of how to grow Ewing Oil into the biggest independent oil company in Texas, so for Jock to even consider retiring and not passing on the highest responsibility to his eldest son really was a silly idea. Deep down, she knew that her husband had probably always planned on retiring and allowing JR to move into his role, however, the fact was, he hadn't guaranteed anything in writing prior to the stupid legal clause he and JR had negotiated months ago. Because of that, she understood why JR had signed the contract, however that didn't mean she agreed with it, a fact that she had made very clear to her husband. It was apparent from speaking to Sue Ellen that the way she and Jock had parented their sons was somewhat unbalanced and wrong and although it was hard to admit, because it did make her feel like a bit of a failure as a mother, she could admit it. She had verbalised some of her feelings to Jock, however, as he was more stubborn than she was and he hadn't done the same sort of thinking that she had, getting him to understand and agree with her wasn't exactly an easy task, but that didn't mean she'd given up trying.

"Fine", mumbling his response, Jock reluctantly agreed. He still wasn't completely in favour of letting JR out of the morality clause but still allowing him to keep the guarantee of Ewing Oil because it was the right thing to do in regard to the promises he'd made to him throughout his entire life, but he was going to give JR a chance to prove him wrong. His decision to meet with the lawyers to rewrite the contract had come from a lot of his own thinking and considerations, but the ultimate final decision to change things had come from his discussions and arguments with his wife. She was a small woman, but that didn't make her weak, and honestly, after fighting with her about the situation for a while, stubbornly ignoring her point of view and rational thoughts in favour of his own, he had then realised that having her be permanently angry and upset with him wasn't worth it. Thinking about the situation as it had been when he initially approached JR with the idea months ago, he had to admit to himself that his wife's perspective wasn't entirely wrong or really all that different to his own. He'd initially had mixed feelings about offering JR the deal, but he had decided that if that was what was needed to get JR to behave, then that's what he would do. Consequently, his wife had a point now though, if JR now willingly wanted to be a better man, without the strings attached to that change, then it wasn't right to keep him locked into a contract that made it seem as if he wasn't capable of real change, only that he knew how to behave in order to reap rewards.

At the time of signing, he had done a lot of reflecting on his own parenting in regard to his eldest son, because it had seemed so wrong to him that he was seemingly incapable of behaving properly, however, sometime within the last few months, he'd forgotten the realisations he'd come to at that point in time. He was aware that he had raised his eldest son to believe that life was a competition and to think of Ewing Oil first in all of his decisions, no matter what the collateral damage was, but in doing that, he'd neglected to teach him where to draw the line and stop with his destructive actions. He'd never taught JR that although power and money were important and enjoyable, there was so much more to life than just those two things, for example, the love of a good woman and the way a man should act when he had a good woman, especially when she was his wife and the mother of his child. Offering the guarantee of Ewing Oil in reward for JR's good behaviour had basically been a move to make permanent JR's promise of change, a reminder for him in times where he did consider straying from the right path, but as JR, Sue Ellen and his own wife had pointed out, that now no longer seemed right. JR was adamant that he had changed, but for it to seem like real change, there had to be no strings attached to his good behaviour, otherwise, it would always be somewhere in the back of his mind and the back of Sue Ellen's mind that perhaps he wasn't being as genuine as he thought. Arguing with his wife and then doing a lot of thinking about it on his own over the weekend, he had come to understand the perspective of the others in the situation and had come to the conclusion that if his wife really wanted him to give JR a chance to prove himself, then he would. In addition to that, if he absolutely had to, he would apologise to Sue Ellen too. He still didn't entirely agree with her involvement, but he could see that his response to her had been somewhat rude and disrespectful and the fact was, she was a Ewing and she did have the right to an opinion on the issue, even if he still thought her involvement was unnecessary. After listening to his wife, he now understood that it seemed hypocritical to discount Sue Ellen's opinion on an issue he considered to be about Ewing Oil, but for him to want to have an opinion on what was a personal, private matter. It didn't please him to be called a hypocrite, but he understood it and understood that he had to be the bigger man in the discussion and admit where he was wrong, even if he didn't want to. "Good. Thank you", patting her husband's hand gently, Miss Ellie was pleased to hear him agreeing to follow the plan they had discussed, it really was the best thing for the family. Standing, they then made their way over to the driveway, ready to meet the returning Ewings.

To be continued…


	350. Return to Southfork

**Dallas, Texas**

"Sue Ellen, you look wonderful", noticing how happy her daughter-in-law looked, Miss Ellie hoped that it was due to JR turning over a new leaf and committing to finally doing right by his wife and her truly understanding that he meant it this time, and when Sue Ellen replied, she got her confirmation, "thank you. We had a lovely weekend away together". Smiling widely as she responded to her mother-in-law's words Sue Ellen almost forgot about her previous anxieties related to returning to Southfork, however, when Jock greeted her and JR and then muttered a few words about needing to speak to JR alone, all of her worries came rushing back to her. With John Ross asleep in her arms, she made a few comments about needing to lay him down in his crib and then took the opportunity to exit the conversation. She wanted to give JR time to speak with his father alone, but more than that, she just didn't have the energy to carry on a polite conversation with her father-in-law right now. Sensing that she wasn't needed anymore, Miss Ellie took Sue Ellen's cue and made a quick comment about checking on dinner before leaving her husband and eldest son to talk. "Daddy", nodding politely, not wanting to start an argument right off the bat, especially not when he sensed that something inside his father had changed, JR then followed his father's lead and walked into the house behind him.

"Thanks for helping out today Bobby", entering the tack room in the Southfork stables, Ray looked at Bobby and spoke casually before moving over to the far wall to hang up his saddle. "No problem Ray, you know I like ranching", moving back and forth between feeling antsy and relaxed, depending on what he was thinking about, Bobby smiled at Ray as he responded and then moved to the racks to hang up his horse's tack. "I'm sure Jock loves hearing that and I bet he loved having you out with him today. I know some of the boys appreciated it, it boosts staff morale to see the boss and his son out here with the rest of us, especially since it doesn't happen very often". Although he didn't mention JR or Gary specifically, Ray's words were enough to bring back Bobby's impatience, annoyance and nervous anticipation of what the rest of the evening held for him when he returned to the house. He wasn't lying when he said he enjoyed ranching, because he did, and he had had a great day out with the ranch hands as they herded cattle from one end of Southfork to the other, however, if it hadn't been for his father's presence at the cattle drive, he probably wouldn't have been there today. Hearing from his mother the previous evening that his father was out ranching and wouldn't be back until the next afternoon, he'd then made plans accordingly. With plans to speak to his father either before they started working, during their short break for lunch or really, at any point in time where the opportunity arose, he'd gotten up before the sunrise, gotten ready and then ridden out to meet the group before they set off for their second day of the cattle drive. Unfortunately, his plans to speak to his father had been rather optimistic and the reality of the day had turned out much differently to what he'd initially envisioned. As soon as he arrived at the campsite that morning, he'd realised that he'd been silly to think that he would be able to speak to his father properly; the fact was, even if they had the time to speak to each other, the location and context they were in didn't exactly lend itself to private discussions. Immediately realising that he'd have to put off the discussion with his father for a little longer, he had then thrown himself into being a cowboy for the day, because as much as he enjoyed working at Ewing Oil, sometimes it was nice to get outside and do some rewarding physical activity, and cattle herding was definitely that. Finishing for the day, he'd somehow ended up in the small group of men that rode back to the stables via the path they'd come in order to check that no cows had been separated from the herd along the way, unfortunately, this had separated him from his father, once again delaying their conversation and increasing his general agitation. "Bob?" hearing Ray saying his name and realising that he'd not been listening, Bobby quickly snapped back into reality, "sorry, what was that you said?" looking at Ray apologetically, he then listened as Ray repeated his invitation to join him and the other ranch hands for a drink in Braddock. "Oh, I would, but I actually have a lot to do before work tomorrow, I'm leaving for Houston on Tuesday. Next time, ok?" Finishing putting their equipment away, he and Ray then said their goodbyes and separated, and walking back up to the ranch house, he considered how to best approach the situation.

"…I mean it JR, no more. I thought I made myself clear months ago, but I suppose I wasn't clear enough, so I'll be sure to be as clear as possible now. It's become strikingly obvious that in the hundreds of thousands of hours we spent together when you were a boy and then a young man, I failed to emphasise that the way you behave in business, especially as a young, unmarried man, is very different to the way you conduct yourself in your personal life. There's a time for fun and freedom, but that time ends as soon as a man takes a wife, and especially after a man has a child; children need to have good, respectable adults in their life and it's their parents responsibility to provide that life for them, starting first and foremost with their own behaviour. Now, before you get angry and defensive, listen to what I have to say first. I believe that since the incident prior to John Ross' birth, you've been faithful to your wife and have made moves to be a better man, and I commend you for that. It's obvious that John Ross isn't suffering any effects from the issues that are present in your marriage, and for all of your faults and misdeeds, you've somehow managed to keep Sue Ellen on your side, even in this recent separation, so you must be doing something right. However, you cannot deny that there have been issues in your marriage and those issues appear to stem from your behaviour and attitude; that needs to change, permanently. I don't know all the details about the recent incident with that girl and her baby, but I know enough to say that it never should have happened. Enjoying the company of many women is fine for unmarried men, so long as precautions are taken to protect the Ewing name and fortune, however, none of that should be an issue for you now, you've been married for years, you should know better and be doing better. You married a beauty queen, one who loves you for you and would do anything to be in a happy marriage with you. Granted, she sometimes doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut, but still that girl loves you and really does seem to want the best for you, so she deserves a husband who wants and is willing to do the same for her. In addition to that, she's the mother of your son and if for no other reason than because John Ross' rightful place is here, in this house, you need to make sure that you keep doing right by your wife. I'm not sure if you know this, but I'll tell you anyway, legally, if she were to leave this house and you, as the mother of a minor child, she would get to keep John Ross and we would have to fight mighty hard to prove that she was unfit before getting custody back. I don't know about you, but with everything going on at work, I'd rather not be fighting a legal battle at home too".

"All of that is really beside the point though, what I'm trying to say is that with these upcoming changes to your contract, you're getting a damn good deal and in return for those rewards, I expect you to keep up your end of the bargain too. As requested, there will no longer be any legal requirement for you to behave like a man, but that doesn't give you any excuses to behave any other way. I expect good behaviour, your wife deserves a husband who's loving, faithful and who she can trust, John Ross deserves to grow up with a father he can respect and emulate, but most of all, I want you to act like a man because you want to be a good father, husband and person. Do we have deal? If we do, we can make it legal this week, but before that, I want an agreement, here and now. I'm willing to compromise, as long as the overall outcome is better for everyone, not just for you. I don't expect to hear any more stories about your past or present misdeeds and from here on I expect you to stay on the right side of enjoying yourself. It's in everyone's best interest for your wife and child to be here at Southfork and for you and your wife to be happily married. I don't appreciate having to have this conversation with you, but I believe it's necessary, so we're doing it. Now, I think I've made my position quite clear. Do you have anything else to add? Or are we in agreement?" somewhat annoyed at the conversation, Jock tried to remain as calm as possible, because having had time to think about everything as a whole and really analysed what his wife was trying to tell him, he now understood that starting the conversation in a hostile manner was a recipe for disaster. He needed to be firm, but not aggressive.

Listening to his father's offer and warnings, JR was stunned; he hadn't expected to return home to such an easy solution, his father had been so stubborn last week, but now, he was being reasonable and generous, though some of his language regarding Sue Ellen needed to change if they were going to live together in peace. "Yes sir. I understand and I promise, I won't let you, mama, Sue Ellen or John Ross down. I want to be a better man and I will be", making his position clear, he shook his father's hand and then grinned. Somehow, he'd managed to get what he wanted without having to really negotiate. Sure, he was still bound by moral expectations, not legally binding expectations, but behavioural expectations nonetheless. What did that matter though? He really did mean what he said, he wanted to be a better man and a better husband and he wanted to be the owner and president of Ewing Oil, and in some twist of fate, he'd managed to find himself in a position where he could have all of that, without having to legally connect everything. He didn't know what had caused his father to reconsider, but at this point, he didn't really care. By the end of the week, he would be exactly where he wanted to be and he was incredibly thankful for that.

Upstairs, standing in John Ross' nursery, Sue Ellen waited anxiously, splitting her attention between admiring her sleeping son and listening out for the sound of JR's footsteps. Being back at Southfork wasn't quite as bad as she'd imagined it earlier in the day, but it also wasn't the most calming thing she'd ever experienced. She was thankful that in the small amount of time she'd spent conversing with Jock earlier, he'd seemed relatively calm and not angry, however, he was often hard to read, so what he wanted to discuss with JR and how he would react when JR relayed their position to him again was anyone's guess at this point. She expected an apology from her father-in-law for his dismissive attitude toward her during the previous week, however, knowing how stubborn the Ewing men could be, she knew not to expect too much and was willing to make a compromise of her own. If Jock accepted JR's terms and did the right thing, then she could deal with a small, lacklustre apology, as long as treated her with politeness and dignity in the future. All she wanted was peace and happiness and to be honest, if her father-in-law did right by JR and was polite to her, then that was good enough for her.

To be continued…


	351. Home Sweet Home?

**Dallas, Texas**

"He agreed? Just like that?" shocked by her husband's words, Sue Ellen's mind immediately turned toward questioning the finer details of what had happened downstairs, "what are you not telling me? You have to be leaving something out of the explanation. Why would Jock just agree to rewrite the contract and in that rewrite, keep the part about giving you Ewing Oil? I know it's the right thing to do and it's absolutely what you and I wanted, but he was so adamant that it wasn't going to happen last week. He was rude, passive aggressive and things were tense when we left here, but in the two days we were gone, he's somehow had a change of heart and is now being agreeable? I don't understand. Something else has to be going on". Looking at JR with wide, confused eyes, Sue Ellen waited for him to answer; it wasn't that she distrusted him, but surely there had to be more to the story than what he was telling her, otherwise it didn't make much sense.

"I know it sounds strange and believe me, I was just as shocked as you are, but I really don't think daddy has a list of ulterior motives for this decision. I think that our leaving Southfork for the weekend was just the reality check he needed to start doing some real thinking about the situation, and when he weighed up all of the possibilities, this one really wasn't as bad as he'd originally imagined. I have a strong feeling that mama had something to do with him changing his mind and then making this decision, but he never really mentioned mama, so I can't be sure. His decision definitely wasn't one made in haste though, he gave me a very strong, fatherly talking to, about my behaviour and responsibilities, what he expects of me and what you and John Ross deserve as well as what I should want for myself. Everything he said was very pro-family; I think you would have liked it. There were probably a few ideas he has that you wouldn't appreciate hearing about, namely, what would happen to John Ross if you did leave me, however, I really do think that his main reason for changing his mind was that when he considered everything, he knew we were right and ultimately, he wants the same thing. He wants to know that when I promise that I've changed and I promise to remain a good man, that I mean it, I'm not just saying it because I want Ewing Oil. I do mean it, you know that don't you? I love you and I know I messed up, badly; I know that my actions were wrong and hurtful and I've lived with the consequences of them, consequences I didn't like one bit, so I committed to change and I have changed; I'm not that man anymore and I never will be again. Things will be better from now on, I promise. Please believe me". Finishing his explanation, JR hoped that she understood what he was saying and trusted him enough to not question his father's motives when they did go downstairs for cocktails and dinner. The atmosphere at Southfork now seemed to be a little better than what it had been when they'd left, but he wasn't naïve, there were probably more conversations that needed to be had and more conflicts that would arise from those conversations before things were back to being good and steady. In light of that knowledge, he knew that it would be best to wait until the legal changes had been made to his contract before opening himself up for the next round of family drama, and he needed Sue Ellen to understand that too. It was her right to take issue with the way Jock had treated her and he would support her if the disrespect and coldness continued, however, he had a feeling that right now, his father was pretty darn happy with the way things were and he hoped that Sue Ellen could see that too. There was a time and a place for the confrontation that would probably eventually take place between his father and his wife, but if at all possible, that time needed to be after the contracts had been rewritten and signed.

"I know you do and I love you too. It's going to take some time before we're back in a completely good marriage, but I trust that we can do it", smiling at him, Sue Ellen stepped forward and kissed him lightly. Pulling away from him as their kiss ended, her mind then processed the rest of what he had just said. "Wait, what exactly did your daddy say about what would happen to John Ross if I left you? Didn't the mention of that situation in the first place trigger alarm bells in your mind? John Ross may be his grandson, but the details of his life and how we raise him are none of his business; he has no legal right to custody of John Ross and no legal right to have a real say in how or where he lives. John Ross isn't Lucy, he has parents who are capable, loving and are present in his life, all his grandfather needs to do is love him and spend quality time with him, he's not responsible for anything else, we are, and I'd like to keep it that way. If I left you, which I'm not, but if I did, I would expect that I would be dealing with you and only you when it came to matters of custody and opinions on how our son is raised, and honestly, if I was looking for grandparent input, I'd ask your mama before I'd ask your daddy. Please tell me that you verbalised some kind of objection to that thought, even if it seemed like a small sentence in comparison to the larger point. I won't have your father interfering any more than he already does, and before you argue that he doesn't interfere, he does; the simple fact that our son is named John Ross Ewing III and his future role in Ewing Oil was planned out before he was even conceived tells you everything you need to know". Glaring at JR, she waited for him to respond; she wasn't really directly angry with him, but thinking about Jock interfering not only in JR's life, but in John Ross' too, she found herself highly annoyed and unfortunately, he was the closest target.

"Darlin', calm down. I worded it badly when I said that; yes, he was interfering, but not in the way you think. He was speaking about how I was an idiot to ever betray you and how you deserved better, then he said that not only did you deserve respect and love as my wife, but as the mother of my child. He said that if I wanted to keep John Ross here at Southfork where he belongs, then I needed to grow up and be a man, because if I kept acting the way I did in the past, then you would leave and take John Ross with you and it would completely be your right to do so. He was just looking out for me as a father and he was trying to make me see that if I wanted to be a family man like I say I do, then I have to act like it. Again, I already made that commitment and promise; he was just talking and reiterating things, trying to make me see that this was serious". Knowing that Sue Ellen was right and that his father probably did believe that he had some right to decide things about John Ross' life that were really up to his parents, he admitted some of what was said, but also attempted to smooth over the less pleasant parts and move on. It wasn't that he really wanted to defend his father's position, because he understood where Sue Ellen was coming from and he agreed with her, but things were good between them right now and he didn't want to ruin that by starting an argument. The next time his father mentioned John Ross' future, he would be sure to make it clear that he and Sue Ellen were his parents, but did he and Sue Ellen really need to discuss it at length and deal with it right now?

"Calm down? JR, this is our son's life we're talking about. I will not have your father do to John Ross what he did to you, and I would certainly hope that you would never even consider treating John Ross the way you were treated, but in order to prevent repeating past mistakes, we all need to be on the same page, and right now, it doesn't sound like we are. I have no problem with the general plan, I want John Ross to grow up with you as his role model, I want him to want to go to work with you and to want to work with you after college, but I don't want him to be forced into anything. In addition to that, I don't want to be made to feel bad about decisions I make that are best for our family, and you can bet that if I left you and took John Ross with me, it would be because I truly thought it was the best option, not just because I could. I had the opportunity a few weeks ago to do just that, but instead of ripping John Ross out of the only home environment he's ever known, I did what was best for him, I stayed and moved myself into a separate room in this house. Actually, while we're on the topic of houses, I don't know whether they were your words or whether you were quoting your daddy verbatim, either way, it doesn't matter, what I have to say applies to both; Southfork is our home right now, but sometimes I do wonder whether it's right for us, whether it's right for our family…" Leaving her sentence hanging for a moment, she then covered what she really wanted to say with a more general sentence, "…that's not really related right now though. My point is, I don't want to be made to feel bad if I ever do take John Ross away from this house. I'm well aware of what his life here is like and it would take something serious for me to do such a thing, so if I did, I don't think anyone on the outside would be in a place to judge. I don't appreciate the vague threatening language used in your explanation, language I suspect comes from your father rather than you", sighing to herself, she then looked at him in a more vulnerable and less irritated manner, "look, I'm not attacking you, I'm just frustrated. Even when things appear to be good, like your new agreement with your father, there's always a darker side and I'm sick of dealing with it. I just want us to be a happy little family, one that is part of a loving, happy and supportive extended family. It shouldn't be that difficult, but it is". Seeing JR step closer to her, she was relieved when he simply pulled her into his arms and hugged her, it was exactly what she needed in that moment. "I agree darlin', and I'm sorry that all of this is affecting you so much. We'll talk to daddy, together, and we'll figure out how all of this is going to work from now on. I don't want you to be unhappy and I don't want John Ross to feel like he has no option but the obvious. I want us to be a happy family and I'll do whatever it takes to make that happen". Unsure of exactly what to say in response to her concerns, JR simply touched upon the basic feelings behind them and offered the solution that seemed the most obvious. A conversation with his father wouldn't be easy and could possibly end up damaging their progress if he wasn't careful, but it was now clear that it was necessary, so that's what they would do.

To be continued…


	352. Little Brother Bobby

**Dallas, Texas**

Exiting their bedroom and walking downstairs together, Sue Ellen repeated JR's request and promise in her mind; they would speak to Jock and they would make their position clear for the future, however, if they could, they would wait a few days. JR had managed to convince her that waiting until his verbal agreement with his father was a legal one was the best course of action and after thinking about it for a little while, she had agreed, on the condition that there would be real changes in the future and the issues wouldn't just be swept under the rug again. With that settled, she decided that it was time to focus on the other, happier aspects of her life and start enjoying things again; the past few weeks had been stressful, painful and confusing, but she was ready to move on and start enjoying her life again.

Upstairs, unbeknownst to the rest of Southfork's residents, Bobby Ewing's mood was worsening by the minute. Angry and upset by the information he'd discovered and agitated by the fact that he hadn't been able to confront either his father or his brother since making the discovery, he stomped around his room as he prepared for dinner. Closing his bedroom door a little more forcefully than necessary, he muttered a few words to himself before making his way downstairs, and entering the living room, seeing JR and Sue Ellen involved in an apparently happy and loving discussion, his frustration, anger and disgust mounted. He still didn't understand what had actually happened between JR and Sue Ellen a few weeks ago to cause their separation, but the fact that they appeared to be back together and happy in that state made him sick. Sue Ellen deserved a better man than his eldest brother, she deserved a man who would treat her properly, because he loved and respected her as a person, a woman and as his wife, not just because that behaviour would earn him the right to future ownership and presidency of a multimillion dollar company.

"JR, I need to talk to you!" jumping a little as she felt the anger in Bobby's voice, Sue Ellen looked at JR worriedly and took hold of his hand as he responded to his youngest brother. "Can it wait until morning, or after dinner? I was in the middle of a conversation with my wife", speaking in a calm but somewhat annoyed tone, JR looked at his brother and waited for a response. Bobby seemed angry, but Bobby was easily angered anyway, he'd been in more fistfights than any other Ewing and he'd always been quick to whine and make issues out of things that less spoiled adults just dealt with, so whatever he was upset about was probably nothing of real importance, or at least not something that required immediate attention. "JR…" speaking his brother's name in an aggressive and annoyed tone, Bobby glared at him as if to subconsciously tell him to obey his words or he would be sorry, unfortunately for him though, JR wasn't taking the situation nearly as seriously as he was and didn't appear to be particularly interested in doing what he wanted. Shocked by Bobby's aggression, Sue Ellen attempted to get him to verbalise something more than what he was giving them right now, "Bobby? Are you ok? You seem… upset". Turning his attention to Sue Ellen, Bobby attempted to calm himself a little before responding, she wasn't the one he was angry with and she didn't deserve to have such strong anger directed at her. "I'm fine Sue Ellen. I just need to speak with my brother. Alone. Now", attempting to sound calm, his tone mostly just ended up sounding cold and unfriendly, and when JR just sighed and muttered something to his wife about needing to deal with the current situation, as if he and Sue Ellen were the only two people in the room, his mood only worsened. Kissing Sue Ellen on the cheek, JR finished his drink and then motioned for Bobby to follow him into the office so that they could have the oh-so important conversation that Bobby was so obsessed with having.

Just minutes later, JR found himself grinning amusedly as his brother rambled on and on about how sneaky he was, how unfair the contract was and how Sue Ellen deserved a better husband than him. Speaking just a few words in response, JR's grin widened as his brother's annoyance grew, "little brother Bobby, always late to the party". Of course, he was annoyed that Bobby had been snooping in his private business, was making judgements about anything and everything without any real knowledge and was involving himself so personally in something that really had absolutely nothing to do with him, however, overall, he was more amused than anything else. Bobby was predictable, he'd always been hot-headed and petulant, he always found a way to make it seem as if he were being wronged and he would always whine and fight until he got his way, which when their father was involved, was quite often, however, despite Bobby's annoyance and anger, JR knew that he currently held the upper hand. It amused him that his brother was so self-righteous that he hadn't even considered his own actions in the situation and how they made him look. Clearly, to find out the information that he now knew, he had been snooping around confidential files, because there was no way he'd found out from Harve Smithfield or Brooks Oliver, both lawyers were much too honest to disclose confidential information and Bobby was much too naïve to consider blackmailing them for it. Whatever advantage Bobby believed he had, he was in for a shock when JR broke the news to him that the situation couldn't exactly be discussed openly between the Ewing men without their father realising that his golden child had gone behind his back and snooped for information that he had no right to, information that was now outdated anyway.

"So, what do you have to say for yourself? And don't smirk at me and condescendingly address me as 'little brother Bobby', I'm an adult and whether you like it or not, I'm a Ewing, a Ewing that's also involved in Ewing Oil and deserves to know what's going on in the company". Waiting for JR to respond, Bobby felt strange, he was relieved to finally be able to confront his brother about immoral and unfair clause in his contract, however, seeing JR grinning at him, he knew that his brother wasn't taking him seriously and that further aggravated him. Shaking his head a few times, JR paused for a second before responding, "Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, you're always so quick to judge and retaliate based on your feelings, but you never take the time to consider things beyond your own perspective. It's one of your biggest flaws", taking a long pause between sentences JR then continued, very much enjoying the confused look on his brother's face. "You know, none of this is any of your business, however, seeing as you seem to be so fixated on knowing, I'll explain things a little more clearly for you. Firstly, I'm well aware of what the contractual clause says, and so is Sue Ellen, so if you're thinking of breaking the news to her, you can forget that plan. Secondly, I'm also very much aware that what is written in that clause is both degrading and humiliating and that Sue Ellen deserves better, however, Sue Ellen and I have already moved on from that, so you have no business judging that situation. Thirdly, before you go around calling me sneaky, take a good look in the mirror. How exactly do you know this information? I'm not sure which filing cabinet you broke into, but it doesn't really matter, I don't think daddy really distinguishes between the importance of his locked, private files here at the house and those at the office, snooping is snooping, the location is irrelevant and your status as favourite son won't protect you in this situation. Oh, and for your information, none of this was my idea, it was daddy's, and no, your name wasn't mentioned once during the conversation, but that's not my problem, or my responsibility, so if you take issue with daddy's plan for your future at Ewing Oil, then confront him, not me. Lastly, and really, most importantly, if it hasn't been established yet that you really don't know what you're talking about, then let this be the confirmation and your warning to stay away from the situation, because it will never end well for you; the paperwork you read is old and outdated and so are your judgements. Daddy and I have already come to a new agreement and I have already made new, real, honest promises to my wife about our future together. In short, the morality clause is no more, but my future inheritance of Ewing Oil is still guaranteed, and there's nothing you can do about it; really though, there never was, I was always the Ewing heir, whether you liked it or not, so grow up and deal with it. This situation has nothing to do with you, so leave it alone, it's in everyone's best interest". Glaring at his brother, JR then ended their conversation, "now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to spend some time with my wife, we have a lot of catching up to do", and turning, he walked toward the door, leaving his youngest brother to think about everything and hopefully realise that he had lost.

To be continued…


	353. The Future of Ewing Oil

**Dallas, Texas**

"How soon can you have the new documents written?" maintaining a straight face but internally grinning, JR looked at Harve as he spoke. It was Monday morning and he'd set up a meeting for he and his father with Harve promptly at nine; he wanted their verbal agreement to be made a legal one as soon as possible and for him, that meant having documents signed and filed by Friday at the latest, though preferably sooner than that. It wasn't that he didn't trust his father to go through with the agreement when it came down to actually signing the documents, but he wasn't stupid or naïve, he knew not to celebrate a victory before he'd actually won. His life was on the cusp of being great again, but there were a few loose ends to tie before he could officially breathe a sigh of relief, so the sooner he could get the new contract written and signed, the better. "Well, since we're just discussing amending a small part of the contract, not rewriting the entire thing or starting from scratch, I don't see any reason why I couldn't have it drafted and sent back to you by tomorrow. I assume you'll be using Mr Oliver as your lawyer again? He's a fair man and with the current agreement, I don't think there will be any reason for him to request a renegotiation or rewrite of the new agreement. As long as you notify him in advance that he'll be receiving the documents for review tomorrow, I'd say that you're probably looking at getting them signed and filed by Thursday afternoon, Friday at the latest. How does that sound?" Grinning as Harve spoke, JR thought about it for a moment and then nodded, "good, good; Thursday afternoon it is". Letting out a small laugh at JR's obvious glee, Harve murmured a few words of agreement before Jock made a move to shake his hand and end the meeting.

Minutes later, walking out of the Smithfield &amp; Bennett offices together, Jock placed his hand on his eldest son's shoulder to stop him for a moment. "JR", his gruff, slightly unfriendly manner was enough to make JR stand up a little straighter and listen; he needed to show that he was being respectful and taking things seriously, because although the amendment was what was morally right, Jock was still making a large economic promise, one that now had a whole lot less strings attached to it. "I take it you're happy?" making a comment about JR's obvious grin, Jock paused for a moment, anticipating his son's response, though he got a lot more than he expected when JR did speak. "Yes sir. Very happy. I'm very proud of Ewing Oil's history and what the company is today and I look forward to building it up to what you always dreamed it would be. I want Ewing Oil to be the biggest independent oil company in Texas and I'm tremendously grateful that you're trusting me to make it happen. I won't let you down daddy, in business or in my personal affairs; I promise". Meaning what he said, but also making sure to hit the points he knew his father would appreciate, JR looked him directly in the eye as he spoke and when he observed his father's facial expression changing, he knew that he was playing the game right. "Good, that's what I want to hear, forever. You stay on the right side of your wife and keep doing what you're doing with Ewing Oil and we won't have a problem. I'm trusting you JR, don't let me down". Remaining serious as he spoke, but allowing his own pride to show through just a little when JR nodded and agreed again, Jock then slapped his son on the shoulder and changed the subject back to his favourite topic, oil; "good. Now, tell me about the reports from Ewing Eight".

Across town, Bobby Ewing sighed to himself as he sat in his office, staring at the folder of information about his upcoming trip to Houston. Standing up, he walked over to the window and looked out over downtown Dallas in an attempt to clear his mind enough to where he could actually focus on the paperwork he was supposed to be reading, rather than his argument with JR the previous evening and the subsequent thoughts that had come from that talk. He was in a tough position, he needed to say something to his father before it was too late and JR was guaranteed Ewing Oil in its entirety, leaving him with no legacy for his own future family and in all probability, no job security for his future. He wasn't so naïve to believe that JR really, honestly appreciated his contribution to the business and truly enjoyed Ewing Oil being a very family-centric company; it was quite clear that JR tolerated him for the sake of maintaining peace and was happiest when his assigned tasks involved him being away from Dallas for long periods of time. He couldn't lie and say he didn't enjoy his job, he was the director of public relations for Ewing Oil, a role that mostly just involved him travelling around spreading goodwill to potential business partners and making sure that even those who weren't directly involved in the oil business thought favourably about Ewing Oil. There was a little dirty work involved when situations proved a little more difficult to guarantee an ally for Ewing Oil, but those situations were less frequent than the good-natured interactions and connections he made. Unfortunately, although the work he did for Ewing Oil was beneficial to their public image and increased their visibility in sectors other than the oil business, he somehow doubted that JR saw him as completely necessary and had a strong feeling of uncertainty when he considered his future. It wasn't that he expected to one day be the president of Ewing Oil, but he had hoped that perhaps he would eventually move up in the ranks and perhaps be the vice president, however, with JR the way he was, he had no doubt that without explicit instruction to do so, there would be no promotion in his future. Once JR gained majority control of Ewing Oil, anything was possible, and once he gained full control and ownership of Ewing Oil, Bobby knew that that would be the final nail in the coffin for his future in the family business.

He'd probably always needed to be a little clearer with his father about his feelings for Ewing Oil and his expectations about his future there, but in all honesty, he'd never really considered it, he'd never thought he had to. He had always known that he was his father's favourite son and from JR's disgruntled attitude, he'd been made aware that his father had allowed him to progress up the ladder in Ewing Oil much faster than JR had. Because of those things, he'd naturally assumed that his father had a plan in place for him and he'd trusted that whenever he was ready, the next stage of his progression would begin. Unfortunately though, his assumption had been wrong and he was now in a position where things weren't looking so bright for his future anymore, and on top of that, he was in an even worse position when it came to considering how to approach the topic with his father. JR was right when he'd said that his status as favourite son wouldn't save him from the wrath of their father if he found out that he'd been snooping through his private files, and he wasn't stupid, he'd probably get suspicious if he just raised the topic out of the blue, without any prompting. In addition to those two things, he was also uncertain about whether asking his father to rethink things was even an option anymore. From what JR had said, it sounded as if their legal agreement was signed and sealed and not up for renegotiation any time soon, and if JR and his father had a legal agreement about the ownership of Ewing Oil, that probably meant that JR would be involved in any future negotiations too, essentially putting them in a stalemate. Sighing to himself, he knew that until he could think of a good way to naturally introduce the topic of his future to his father, he was stuck where he was.

To be continued…


	354. Strategic Planning

**Dallas, Texas**

"That all sounds very positive. I'm pleased to hear that you've talked through some of your issues and come to an agreement for how you want things to happen in the future", expressing his genuine happiness at the obvious changes and improvements in their marriage, Doctor Williams paused for a moment before approaching the less pleasant part of the situation. "If you don't mind me asking, did you discuss actionable plans for the future? By that I mean, alongside discussing the goals you want to achieve and making promises to each other, did you also talk about how you're going to approach situations differently in the future? In order for your marriage to be a success from now on, as well as changing attitudes and behaviours, you both need to handle common problems differently to how you did in the past, and if possible, avoid areas in life that are known triggers for problems you've faced in the past. There will be a time in the future where those situations won't hold the same appeal or temptation, but at the moment, it's too soon to experiment and take chances. The last thing you want to happen now, after all of the problems, the separation and the reunion is to fall right back into a cycle of negativity and upset". Directing his question at both JR and Sue Ellen and then explaining why he was asking, Doctor Williams waited for an answer, though from the blank looks on each of their faces and then the way they looked at each other as he finished speaking, he already knew the answer to his question.

Clearing his throat after a long pause, JR spoke, "well, I wouldn't exactly call it an actionable plan, but we did discuss boundaries and I made a lot of commitments, commitments that I don't intend to break. As for temptations and bad situations, I'd like to remind you that I have not been unfaithful to Sue Ellen since the drunken mistake I made last December, I no longer do the kind of work that puts temptations right in front of me and I am committed to being a loving, faithful and honest husband. I understand how much my lies and deceit hurt Sue Ellen and our marriage and I know that I never want to experience the feelings I did when we were separated ever again, so I honestly believe that this time, everything will work out. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but I understand things better now, so I think we really do have a chance this time", looking over at Sue Ellen as he spoke, his mood deflated a little when he saw her facial expression; she looked happy, but also a little conflicted, as if perhaps she didn't entirely believe him anymore. "Sue Ellen? Are you ok? Please darlin', talk to me" ignoring Doctor Williams' presence for a moment, he turned his attention to his wife and looked her in the eye as he spoke.

Facing JR, Sue Ellen waited for a few seconds before responding to him. Although she believed her husband and didn't distrust him, Doctor Williams' words had been a reality check and the issues that still remained up in the air were all on her mind again. They did need to make a real plan for the future, one that would work toward eliminating the possibility of problems before they even began. "Yes… I'm fine. This whole conversation just got me thinking. I love you JR and I don't want to have to face any more unnecessary and avoidable problems in our marriage, and while I believe that you have the best intentions and that we really have a chance to be happy now, I also don't think that what Doctor Williams is suggesting is such a bad idea". She was confident that they were in a good marital positon when it came to promises of faithfulness, however, she was also aware that there were still other external issues, especially familial issues, that had the potential to cause conflict between them or put them in unpleasant situations. With those thoughts on her mind and first-hand experience of personal success due to following some of Doctor Williams previous advice, she really was interested in listening to what he had to say and making changes to the way she and JR approached things in the future.

Crinkling his forehead in confusion at her words, JR nodded and then responded, "of course darlin'. I suppose I didn't respond clearly enough before. I wasn't attempting to get out of talking about our problems and trying to combat potential issues prior to them becoming real issues, all I was doing was reaffirming my commitment to our relationship and marriage. I know I've said it many, many times before, but I want you to know that I'm serious. We'll talk about whatever you want, or whatever Doctor Williams thinks we should talk about. I'm all in. I mean it". He was unsure of whether his words really meant anything anymore, because he'd said them so many times but there were still times where still seemed to act in a somewhat formal, distant and cautious manner when it came to discussing their relationship, however, he reiterated his point again anyway, because it couldn't hurt to be clear about his feelings. Receiving a smile and a sigh of relief in response to his answer, he felt an equal amount of relief inside him. He didn't understand her sometimes, she had two very distinct and different personalities and while it wasn't unusual for her to switch suddenly, he didn't quite understand why she'd done it just now. They'd started the day and their appointment in a good place, she had been strong, direct and to the point about what she wanted and she'd happily participated in discussing the new developments in their relationship, but then something had suddenly changed, and he couldn't work out what that something was. There was no reason for her to be shy or cautious around him, they were far beyond the point in their relationship where things were new and she didn't understand where the boundary lines were in relation to what she could and couldn't say without getting an over the top negative reaction. Hearing Doctor Williams clear his throat in preparation to say something, he filed his thoughts away as a topic to revisit sooner rather than later and then turned his attention back to the present; his wife appeared to be in better spirits now than she had just a few moments ago and for now, that's what mattered.

Observing JR and Sue Ellen's verbal and non-verbal communication, Doctor Williams made a note to dig deeper into what had just happened in Sue Ellen's mind, because it was clear that something had happened; right now though, they had another topic to discuss. "Good, well, now that that's decided, shall we begin our discussion? I suggest we start by listing your shared overall goals, wants and needs, and then we'll move on to discussing boundaries, potential issues and creating plans to work through issues as they occur, without allowing them to become detrimental to your marriage". Receiving a nod from both JR and Sue Ellen, he was pleased when Sue Ellen began to speak, and from her tone of voice, whatever cautious thoughts and feelings she'd just had were now in the past. He intended to find the underlying cause of their relationship issues, but it was probably going to take a little longer than he'd originally expected; JR and Sue Ellen Ewing were a very complicated couple.

To be continued…


	355. Agree to Disagree

**Dallas, Texas**

"Sue Ellen, we've discussed this before and we both agreed to wait until the end of the week. I don't understand why you're bringing it up again or why it seems to bother you so much. Daddy doesn't dislike you, quite the opposite in fact, he thinks you're a wonderful wife and mother and any time you come up in conversation, he always somehow finds a way to mention that I could easily lose you if I'm not careful. I don't understand why you're making this into a fight, it's not necessary". Letting out a frustrated sigh, he then turned his attention back to Doctor Williams and glared at him; things had been calm and the conversation had been reasonable until he had pushed them into discussing the problems they anticipated for the near future. They'd already come to an agreement about reminding his father that they were John Ross' parents and that all he was required to be was a grandfather, and they'd already made a general plan for their future together as a married couple, one where they did have some autonomy, so he didn't understand the need discuss them again so soon.

"I'm not trying to fight with you, I'm just trying to explain my perspective to you to show you how it differs from yours. We've been home for days and I've yet to receive any sort of apology for the way he disrespected me in the last conversation we had about the morality clause. That tells me that he doesn't really care about me as a person, he really only sees me as 'JR's wife' and 'the mother of the Ewing heir'. I'm the woman you need to keep in your life and stay on good terms with because he wants and feels that he needs to maintain some kind of control over the family. Haven't you noticed that in the time we've been back from the lake house and obviously in a much happier emotional place than we were in in previous weeks, he hasn't once made a comment in my presence that shows that he's genuinely happy about our marriage and our happiness together. Sure, he thinks I'm pretty and I serve you and John Ross well, but I never get the feeling that he cares, not like you try to make out that he does and not the way I know your mama does. Miss Ellie is thrilled that we're back together and that we're truly enjoying parenthood, but most of the time it seems like your daddy cares more about the idea of being a family than actually being a family; he's happy that the Ewings are all together at Southfork and that the family name and company will be passed on". Thinking about her father-in-law and the relationship he and JR had, Sue Ellen moved from feeling highly annoyed to feeling sorry for JR; it was apparent that although he understood that his father was controlling in the broadest sense of the word, he still truly believed some of the things he'd been indoctrinated into believing. Where she could see that her mother did and said things in order to gain and maintain control, JR didn't quite have that critical perspective; he truly believed that despite all of the reasons otherwise, his father really did have a personal affection and investment in his family members.

Tilting his head, JR looked at his wife in both annoyance and confusion; why was she so hung up on what his father thought? They had literally already discussed and agreed that his father didn't control their lives and that they wanted to be more independent, so it was frustrating to be rehashing and arguing about the same things again. "Darlin', I'm sorry that daddy hasn't apologised to you on his own and I'm sorry that you believe that he doesn't care about you in any way other than in your roles as my wife and John Ross' mother, but I really don't think that that's true and I don't think he really intends to personally offend or upset you. You know that daddy is a traditional man, he's from a different generation and frankly, he's always been the one in control of things and probably hasn't had much experience with acknowledging when he was wrong and his words or actions were hurtful, especially when it comes to women. Mama is a unique woman, she's fiercely loyal, but she's not a pushover, she demands respect and knows how to make things happen, but she's also his wife and they have a much different connection to the relationship he has with any other woman, least of all you. I agree with you that he should apologise for what he said to you and his general attitude toward you last week, but I also understand the possible reason for his silence and lack of emotion toward you personally and our relationship, it's just not something that comes naturally to him. Yes, he wants our marriage to be a strong one and our son to grow up following a certain path, but it's because he cares, not because he doesn't care. He wants what's best for the Ewing family and while you and I may not necessarily agree with what he thinks that is, I don't think he necessarily sets out to purposely make you feel bad or neglected". More frustrated than angry, he looked at his wife as he spoke; what did she want from him? They already had a plan for when they would speak to his father, but apart from that, he wasn't really in control of the situation. Yes, he could've corrected his father when he spoke about her in a way that did mostly make reference to her roles as his wife and John Ross' mother rather than her as a person, but at the time, it hadn't seemed like such a big deal and approaching the subject at random seemed awkward and unnecessary. She didn't want to have a close relationship with his father anyway, she'd said it herself, so he didn't really understand why she was so bothered by the situation as it was.

Shaking her head, Sue Ellen looked at her husband, "I don't want to fight, so can we please agree to disagree on your daddy's motives and opinions. The fact is, it's mostly irrelevant whether he intentionally means to disregard my feelings, rightful positon and involvement in issues, or whether he really is just a traditional, conservative man who truly doesn't see any reason for me to be involved and doesn't see me as anything more than my titles, because whatever his reasons, his attitude still upsets me. I'm not changing anything about our plan, I'm just trying to make my feelings clear. Does that make sense to you?" Looking at JR for confirmation and receiving a small nod and murmur of agreement, she then looked at Doctor Williams, silently willing him to say something to divert the conversation away from the current topic, because it was clear that she and JR didn't agree and probably wouldn't agree, and she really didn't feel like going in circles again. Assessing the situation, Doctor Williams cleared his throat and then looked back and forth between the couple, and addressing them in a calm tone, he reiterated that each person's feelings were valid and if someone was expressing that they were upset and hurt by something, then it wasn't up to anyone else to decide whether they really were or not. Listening to Doctor Williams and his wife, JR nodded and then agreed to Sue Ellen's request to agree to disagree, because although he understood where they were both coming from and although he still didn't necessarily agree with what Sue Ellen was saying, this wasn't a discussion he'd wanted to have anyway, so an amicable ending was ideal.

To be continued...


	356. Prelude

**Dallas, Texas**

"Why are you so stubborn? What exactly is so difficult about admitting you were wrong and apologising to the person that you wronged?" Shaking her head as she looked at her husband, Miss Ellie wondered why things always had to be so hard. Theoretically, they should've been living a happy, undramatic life, they had two sons in the family business, two grandchildren, a great deal of power and influence in Dallas society and business community and they had more money than they'd ever need or possibly be able to spend themselves. Unfortunately though, those things didn't just exist, they weren't tangible markers of success like a trophy or medal, they didn't just sit in a display case and stay perfect, independent of the things around them, no, they involved real people with real feelings and opinions and unfortunately, having power, money and family didn't automatically equal peace and happiness. After JR and Sue Ellen had returned from their weekend away, happy and content, Jock and JR had spoken and come to an agreement, an agreement that was set to become legal within the next few days, however, although that situation was coming to a close, there still appeared to be a great deal of tension at Southfork. She didn't know the details of the situation, but prior to Bobby's trip to Houston, it was clear that he and JR were fighting about something, because although they were civil to each other, they weren't friendly and when Bobby left for Houston, there was no doubt in her mind that JR was pleased, even more than he usually was. In addition to that, there still appeared to be some tension between Jock, JR and Sue Ellen and until earlier in the day, she hadn't really known why, though now that she did know, she completely understood the reason why all was not well at Southfork.

Driving home from a DOA meeting earlier in the day, one of the few they had attended together since John Ross' birth, Sue Ellen had asked her a direct question, one that concerned her relationship with her husband and his role as head of the Ewing family. Her daughter-in-law's directness had come as a surprise, not because of what she asked, but because it was different to how she would've approached the situation in the past; it appeared that Sue Ellen was finding her own voice and making herself heard, and that was a wonderful change, no matter what Jock or JR thought. It wasn't wrong for her to want an apology from Jock for the way he'd spoken to her and it wasn't wrong to want him to see her as more than just a Ewing wife and mother; she didn't need or want to be best friends, but she did wish for their relationship to be more relaxed and respectful. Speaking openly and honestly about how she felt, it was clear that all she really wanted from their discussion was another perspective on the issue, because from what she described, she and JR saw the situation differently and their marriage counselling hadn't brought them any closer to a shared perspective. All she wanted to hear was that it was ok to feel like she wasn't valued as a person and it was ok to want to change that, starting with her own actions, but also by demanding changes from other people. To Miss Ellie, it wasn't too hard to imagine how Sue Ellen felt; Jock could be controlling, demanding and impersonal and it was easy to see how his attitude could come across as rude and uncaring. She also understood where JR was coming from though, he and his daddy had a special relationship, even if it wasn't perfect, and in her own experience, although Jock could be a real male chauvinist at times, she knew how to bring him back down to an even level and how to get what she wanted out of a situation. She loved her husband and didn't want to purposely anger or upset him, but sometimes she needed to be firm and direct with him to get him to think clearly and fairly. He would give Sue Ellen the apology she deserved and he would show her more respect from now on, she'd make sure of it.

"Look, I am grateful that you've started the process to change things between you and JR, but just changing the contract doesn't fix the whole situation; there's more to it than that. It's all well and good for you to tell me that you know you were too harsh and that your words and actions caused offence, but I'm not the one you really need to be communicating that apology too. You may not like Sue Ellen's involvement in this whole situation, but the way you made those feelings clear was unnecessary and rude, especially since when you look at the situation critically, she didn't do anything wrong. You told me that you would apologise to her for your rudeness last week, but from the conversation we had earlier, it didn't sound like you'd done that yet. Please Jock, take a step back and look at the situation. Last weekend you were concerned about the possibility that JR, Sue Ellen and John Ross had left Southfork and weren't coming back, but they did come back, with a few reasonable demands, one of which is respect. Is it really such a difficult thing for you to do? Apologise to Sue Ellen for how you spoke to her and from now on, try to treat her as you would treat your sister or your daughter if we had one. A small amount of effort can go a long way and I know that you're capable of it, so please, for me and for our family, please just try". Looking at him, she waited for his response, he was a stubborn man and he would not be pleased with her trying to direct and control the situation again, he was already irritated by her insistence that he change JR's contract, even if he knew it was the right thing to do.

"What has that girl been saying now? I'm giving her what she wanted, she wanted JR free of contractual obligations to stay faithful to her and that's what I'm doing…" starting to respond, using a gruff, annoyed tone, he was silence once more by his wife's raised hand and her glare. "Respect Jock, respect starts with the language you use. 'That girl' has a name and her name is Sue Ellen. I already told you that I'm proud and grateful that you're doing the right thing by changing JR's contract, and I know Sue Ellen is very grateful for that too. What I was really addressing was the general situation; things need to change and for them to change, everyone needs to be on board, not just one or two of us". Pausing for a moment, she then let out a small sigh, "look, I know it may seem silly or ridiculous to you, but it's a real issue and the best way to move forward and past the issues and tension that's present in this family right now is to apologise and change the way you approach situations in the future. Please, do it for me and for our family. I don't believe they're planning on leaving Southfork, but to prevent the possibility of that happening, we do need to make Southfork an appealing, pleasant place to live. Do you understand?" speaking in a caring, but strong manner, she looked at her husband and waited for his nod and grumble of approval; she knew that he knew he had no real choice, but she also knew that he wouldn't be happy with that knowledge, so she didn't expect too much of a response from him. "I don't know why I'm the one that's doing all the work here…" hearing him mumbling a few words of annoyance before stopping himself from continuing, Miss Ellie knew that she'd been right; he would do what she wanted him to do, but that didn't mean he'd like doing it.

To be continued…


	357. Agreement?

**Dallas, Texas**

"Excuse me?" standing in the downstairs office after dinner, Sue Ellen stared at her father-in-law in disbelief before mentally repeating his words to herself. Jock Ewing had just said something to her that sounded a lot like an apology, but just hearing the words didn't automatically change her opinion or perspective on the situation. Thinking about it, she knew that it was probably no coincidence that the apology she'd wanted had come after she'd voiced her thoughts, feelings and expectations for the future to both JR and Miss Ellie, and looking over at her mother-in-law and husband, she knew she was right and she knew exactly which one had said something. It was clear from JR's facial expression that he was just as surprised as she was to hear his father offering her an apology, and it was clear from Miss Ellie's facial expression that she was proud and pleased that her husband had said something.

"I said, I'm sorry for upsetting you and I'm sorry for making you feel like you weren't a respected member of the Ewing family", looking at his daughter-in-law and then looking at his wife, it was obvious that Jock wasn't exactly comfortable with what he was saying. It may have been true, he may have been sorry, but the apology he was giving right now was clearly not his idea. "I'll try my hardest to change the way I speak and act from now on, because you are a Ewing and it's not right for you to be made to feel as if you aren't". As he finished repeating his planned apology, Jock paused and waited to see whether his words had been enough or whether he was going to have to say more in order to gain his wife's forgiveness, his daughter-in-law's forgiveness and regain the sure feeling that his family would stay together, and in turn, he would remain in control. It wasn't that he didn't mean what he said, because he did; even before his wife had spoken to him earlier in the evening, he'd understood that he had been out of line when he'd disregarded Sue Ellen's involvement in JR's life and he could see why his attitude could be mistaken for rude and disrespectful. While JR, Sue Ellen and John Ross were away at the lake house the previous weekend, he'd done a lot of thinking and acknowledged his own mistakes and actions, and he'd attempted to right his mistakes when they'd returned; he and JR were in the process of changing his contract and soon, all would be well in the business again. Unfortunately though, he'd underestimated exactly what steps were necessary to repair the cracks in the relationship JR and Sue Ellen had with him and with the Ewing family as a whole. He'd arrogantly assumed that his business efforts would be enough to mend the personal issues too, so he'd skipped over apologising to Sue Ellen personally, even if he'd always known it was the right thing to do. He didn't like apologising, it meant acknowledging that he was wrong, and he didn't like being wrong, however, he'd always told himself that if it was absolutely necessary to apologise, then he would do it, so he was.

Hearing her father-in-law repeat his apology, Sue Ellen felt a wave of relief wash over her. It was possible that he didn't really mean any of what he'd said and that nothing would change, but it was definitely nice to hear him acknowledge that he was wrong and make a commitment to do better in the future, especially since both JR and Miss Ellie were there to witness it. "Thank you Jock", nodding politely, she wondered whether perhaps she should just accept his apology and commitment and wait and see whether things got any better before making any rules or demands of her own, it would probably be easier than starting another argument. Considering what Miss Ellie had told her earlier though, she decided just to go ahead and make her position perfectly clear, that way, there would be no place for boundary confusion and no excuses for future mistreatment. Looking over at JR, she was pleased when he understood her intent and joined her without hesitation. "Thank you", repeating again to Jock that she was appreciative of his apology, she then continued to speak, much to his surprise and confusion. "While we're all here though, there are a couple of things JR and I wanted to discuss with you…" opening the discussion with a very vague comment, she knew he was confused and worried, his facial expression said it all. Looking over at Miss Ellie, she was encouraged by her warm demeanour; they both wanted the same thing, they both wanted to live a happy, peaceful life, and although she wasn't sure Miss Ellie would entirely agree with everything she was about to say, she knew that in general, they were on the same side.

Glancing over at JR, Jock wondered what the hell was going on, however, receiving a small, nervous smile from his son and sensing that he was about to be told anyway, he stayed quiet as he waited for Sue Ellen to continue speaking. "While we're here discussing the Ewing family and the position each of us as individuals hold in the family, JR and I have something we'd like to say… about John Ross". Taking a short pause as she set the scene, Sue Ellen then launched into her explanation, one she was sure Jock wasn't going to be too happy about. "We're aware and very proud and happy that John Ross is the Ewing heir and will be the next generation to carry on the Ewing name, however, first and foremost, he's a person, independent of roles and titles. If we are thinking about titles though, the only ones that are of any real importance right now are 'son' and 'grandson'. John Ross is our son, JR and I are his parents and we will make decisions about what is best for him as a person, as part of our nuclear family and then as part of the wider Ewing family. We know that it's important for him to have a good relationship with his grandparents and we would never discourage that relationship, but we want it to be one that is focused on individuals, not their titles; we want you to spend time thinking about and with John Ross purely as your grandson, let us worry about his future". Pausing for a moment as she allowed Jock to process what she was saying before continuing.

"I'd also like to make it very clear right now that I will not stand for any mistreatment or nasty words toward my son if he does choose to do something other than follow the exact path that is currently hoped for him. There will be all the support in the world for him to get the education he deserves and the work experience that he needs to work at Ewing Oil when he's older, however, if at any point, he does decide that Ewing Oil isn't the future that he wants, I will not allow anyone to shame him for that decision. I've never met Gary and I don't know the details of his life at Southfork or his departure, so I can't judge that situation, however, what I do know is that I don't want to ever experience the pain that Miss Ellie feels every day because one of her sons is a stranger in her life. I love my son and I want the best for him, whatever that may be. In saying that, none of this may be an issue, John Ross may be entirely happy to follow in his father's and grandfather's footsteps and join Ewing Oil, and in that situation, all is well, as long as he's always treated like a person, not just an idea or a title. JR and I have discussed this at length, haven't we JR?" Looking over at her husband, she waited for him to offer his supporting comments and although he paused for a moment and she grew worried that he was backing out of agreeing with her, she knew she had no reason to worry when he squeezed her hand and spoke, "yes. I'm sorry if it sounds harsh daddy, but I have my own son now and I have to do what's best for him as well as what's best for the Ewing family and Ewing Oil. I have no doubt though that as long as we provide John Ross with a stable, happy childhood, he'll be proud of his daddy and want to be just like you and me, just like how I did when I was a boy, but we have to allow him to make that decision himself. It's the right thing to do". Knowing they were risking a upsetting his father and that if he was truly upset or angered by what they had to say, there was nothing stopping him from not signing the new contract tomorrow, JR held his breath as he waited for a response from his father.

Glancing over at his wife, Jock knew that Sue Ellen's mention of Gary had really sealed the deal for her and he was in a position where he really couldn't win, even if he did have a good argument against Sue Ellen's demands. Considering the situation for a moment, he actually found himself somewhat agreeing with the general ideas his son and daughter-in-law had, he just hated how they'd been presented to him, as if he wouldn't listen to anything other than demands. Of course he wanted John Ross to be happy, but naturally, he wanted him to be happy and working at Ewing Oil; from personal experience though, he couldn't deny that the best way to ensure a Ewing son followed in his footsteps at Ewing Oil, was to create a life for him where he truly wanted to follow the path. Mentally acknowledging and assessing everything, he stayed silent for a little while longer; he couldn't appear too agreeable, it wouldn't look right and it would open the door for many more negotiations, ones he knew he wouldn't be so open to agreeing to. JR and Sue Ellen were playing a game and he was going to participate fully in the negotiation phase of the game, even if he knew that in the end, they would come to a relatively easy and simple agreement.

To be continued…


	358. All Is Bright

**Dallas, Texas**

Parking his car in the driveway after work on Thursday, JR's happiness and good mood increased tenfold as he saw Sue Ellen and John Ross walking out onto the patio to greet him. Finally, after weeks and months of misalignment, his business and personal life were back in sync again and as a result, his entire outlook on life seemed brighter. Stepping out of his car, he walked over toward his wife and son, grinning to himself and to Sue Ellen as he neared; "good afternoon darlin'", moving closer to her, keeping in mind that they were not alone, he gave her a short but meaningful kiss before turning his attention to John Ross. Scooping his son into his arms and bouncing him in the air a few times, his happiness only increased as he heard the delighted squeals and witnessed the genuine excitement on the little boy's face; "that's my boy. Daddy's excited to see you too", letting out a small laugh, he kissed his son on the forehead and spoke again, though this time, he wasn't really speaking to John Ross, "daddy's excited about a lot of things actually". Turning so that he was directly facing Sue Ellen, he confirmed what she'd already guessed from his excitement, "daddy and I signed the new contract today. Ewing Oil is now legally set to be mine, no strings attached, as it should be. Thank you for supporting me", pausing to let his words sink in, he was thrilled when her smile widened too.

"Congratulations, and you're welcome", leaning forward, Sue Ellen placed a light kiss on his lips; she really was happy for him and happy that the Ewing family drama appeared to be dissipating and that their marriage was improving again; she was one-step closer to having the life she'd wanted all along and she couldn't wait to experience their new normal. It was a huge relief to know that JR would not be battling Bobby for control of Ewing Oil; it felt wonderful to have received an apology and promise from Jock about his behaviour and attitude, and it was nice to know that if he so wished to follow JR's path, John Ross' future at Ewing Oil was secure. "Thank you darlin'. I love you and I promise, I won't let you down. This is a new beginning, you, me and John Ross, we're a family and I don't intend for anything to interfere with that anymore". Of all the things she was happy about, hearing JR reaffirm his commitment and love for her was what made Sue Ellen the happiest, and coupled with feeling him hooking his arm around her waist before ushering them into the house, she truly did feel like they were starting over again, on a much happier note this time. They would continue their marriage counselling and although it wouldn't be easy or painless, they would find the underlying cause of JR's past issues with infidelity and truthfulness, resolve those issues and move on from them once and for all; dishonesty and infidelity had no place in their marriage anymore.

Walking into the house, JR's internal happiness grew; it felt good to love and be loved and it felt good to know that he no longer had to fight for what was rightfully his. If the events of the past few days were to be taken as indicators of the future, the future was looking pretty good for him and his family and this time, he knew not to mess it up. He had a wife, a son, parents, a company, health, money and social standing; his life was good.

Although the new contract didn't really change anything about what he was entitled to when his father retired and eventually when he died, it was a huge relief to finally be able to know it was now guaranteed, it wasn't dependent on his father's approval of his behaviour. Getting rid of the morality clause was also a wonderful thing for his marriage, because although he didn't really think his faithfulness to Sue Ellen was influenced by the promise of Ewing Oil, he could now guarantee it. He was committed to being a good husband because he wanted to be and because it's what Sue Ellen deserved, and hopefully, one day, she would be able to completely trust him again.

The new contract wasn't the only positive thing to come out of the past few days though. Equally as important was the apology and commitment his father had made to Sue Ellen. The previous evening had been a night of miracles and in a way, he was still shocked that the conversation with his father had turned out the way it did, he had expected it to be much worse. At the end of their marriage counselling session earlier in the week, Doctor Williams had advised him and Sue Ellen to run-through potential scenarios and come up with a few different reactions and counterarguments that could help them make the most out of what they assumed would be a tense conversation with his father. Surprisingly though, they hadn't had to approach the topic of discussion themselves and they hadn't really had to argue their position, just affirm it. After calling them into a private meeting after dinner, his father had made the first move toward opening a dialogue between them and although it was clear that many of the things he was saying were not his ideas, it did sound as if he'd thought about the situation, understood it and was really prepared to try to improve things. Miss Ellie had obviously warned him that his actions and attitude were doing nothing to promote unity in the family and if he continued to act in an unfriendly and divisive manner, then he'd have no one but himself to blame when the situation reached breaking point and the family split apart. In addition, although he had already made the commitment to change JR's contract, he had to learn that in the future, he couldn't get angry or upset about Sue Ellen having a say in things that affected her marriage or her life with her family, even if he considered those things to be Ewing Oil business, not personal issues. Essentially, he needed to learn that he had to be kind, considerate and respectful toward other people if he wanted to receive the same treatment. After their discussion the previous evening though, JR felt more positive and confident about the situation; his father seemed to understand the whole situation better and his agreement and apology to Sue Ellen seemed to have been genuine in the end, even if the initial ideas weren't his own. Now, with both a verbal commitment and apology from his father, and the new contract, he hoped that they could finally settle into a calm, happy state, because although the old JR Ewing never would have really understood it, the new JR Ewing truly valued time with his family and didn't want to waste any more of it.

To be continued…


	359. Can of Worms

**Dallas, Texas**

Closing their bedroom door, JR pulled his wife close to him and kissed her the way he had been wanting to all evening. He loved his son and he enjoyed spending time with his family, but sometimes a husband just needed time alone with his wife. Running his hands over her back, waist and then further down, he groaned, expressing a mixture of pleasure and frustration. He felt wonderful, not just because he'd been waiting patiently for hours for the opportunity to be alone with her, but as part of the bigger picture too; it felt so good to finally feel like they were happy and in sync with each other again, and now that he did, he wanted to make up for lost time. Untying the tie on the back of Sue Ellen's dress, he then moved on to sliding the straps off her shoulders and before she really knew what was happening, her dress was sliding right off her, though she had no complaints, the evening had been just as long for her as it had been for JR. Quickly ridding him of his clothes, Sue Ellen let out a small moan as he redirected his attention to her neck while simultaneously moving them back toward the bed, and as JR made a move to further their actions, her impassioned response only grew. It wasn't as if they hadn't been intimate recently, but everything was different now and she was excited and optimistic about their new beginning.

**Houston, Texas**

Sitting by himself on the Ewing jet as he headed back to Dallas after his short business trip to Houston, Bobby Ewing flipped through the incriminating photographs of Ewing Oil's newest ally before sighing to himself disgustedly. For the most part, he enjoyed his job, however, he had more of a conscience than his father and brother and when he had to resort to extortion in order to gain what was best for Ewing Oil, he always felt a little guilty. Usually he was able to move past his guilty conscience by reassuring himself that everything he did was for the good of Ewing Oil; that he made more positive deals than negative ones; that his work pleased his father, and that one day, he would be on the same level as JR and his father. He liked his job when it was enjoyable work, and he was good at his job, but growing up as Jock Ewing's son, he'd always expected that when he was all grown up, he'd be working alongside his father, not just occasionally meeting with him in his office before leaving for another business trip. Unfortunately, his dreams of working at Ewing Oil as a vital member of the team hadn't quite played out the way he'd imagined. It had become obvious in his first few months there that his talents lay not in the resources and deal making part of the oil business, but in public relations; he was good at making sure others in the oil business looked upon Ewing Oil favourably. He really hadn't had many problems with his position up until recently, when he'd found out that JR was set to be the sole heir to Ewing Oil and apart from being required to stay on the right side of morality and to keep Ewing Oil as a family owned business, there were no strings attached to his future ownership. The news had come as a shock to Bobby; he wasn't stupid, he knew that as soon as their father retired and JR became president and part owner of Ewing Oil, his days were numbered, and eventually, when JR gained full control, there would be no room for two Ewings at Ewing Oil, not until it was John Ross' turn.

With that new knowledge, doing the less pleasant part of his job on this business trip had left a bad taste in his mouth. He was ruining his personal reputation and other men's lives all to make sure Ewing Oil would have the connections it needed to grow; but what was the point? He was involved in all kinds of immoral things for the good of Ewing Oil, but as far as he was aware, he would never get to reap the rewards of his efforts, a realisation that really repulsed him. He loved socialising and spreading goodwill, but he hated sneaking around, hiring call girls and photographers to collect evidence for blackmail and extortion and then having to use that evidence to get what he wanted. He wasn't like his father and brother, he didn't find pleasure in other people's pain, but he did what he had to do because he wanted to be a part of Ewing Oil and he wanted his father to be proud of him. Knowing now though that his corrupt, nasty actions weren't going to benefit him in any way, he was really beginning to reconsider his life and purpose and it was clear that he and his father needed to talk and come to an agreement. He couldn't and wouldn't keep doing dirty work for no reward and even if they did come to an agreement where he regained his rightful place in Ewing Oil, he wasn't sure he wanted to keep doing that part of his job. Now that he'd thought about his actions from a different perspective, it was wreaking havoc on his conscience and he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to just go back to doing it just because it was part of his job. Sighing to himself, he slid the photographs back into their envelope and put them away in his briefcase before reclining his seat and closing his eyes; he needed to take a little bit of time to breathe and think about his course of action when he returned to Dallas. He knew he had to say something to his father, he couldn't just stay silent about his feelings, however, in saying something about his current job and his future at Ewing Oil, he was probably opening a can of worms with JR too, and knowing JR, that situation could potentially become complicated and unpleasant very quickly.

To be continued…


	360. Crisis Point

**Author's Note: Just to respond to a point made by a few reviewers; although JR was the one that did most of Jock's dirty work for him, Bobby wasn't immune to doing questionable things because his father told him to, (for example, when Jock had Bobby deal with Senator Orloff in **_**Spy in the House**_**. Not the same exact situation as here, but a general example). That being said, he certainly didn't do as much as JR did. The previous chapter was deliberately written as a look into Bobby's thoughts rather than to show a real, unbiased perspective of the situation though, keep that in mind ;) Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**

**Dallas, Texas**

Following his father outside after breakfast, Bobby scrunched his face at the sight of JR and Sue Ellen's reinstated morning goodbye, not only because he really didn't care to see how _in love_ they were, but also because it sickened him to think that Sue Ellen was ok with knowing her husband was being rewarded for being faithful to her. He understood that for whatever reason, Sue Ellen loved his brother and wanted to trust him, had forgiven him and was ready to move on with their lives, but the way he saw it, there was a distinct difference between forgiveness and utter stupidity and right now, she was acting stupidly. JR had repeatedly disrespected her and their marriage and from what he had read, was only behaving now because his good behaviour would get him what he'd always wanted: Ewing Oil. From the conversation he'd had with JR and from the image in front of him, it appeared that although Sue Ellen knew about JR's contractual obligation to her, she didn't seem to be bothered by it and he really didn't understand why that was. He didn't want to believe he'd been wrong about Sue Ellen when he'd assumed that she was different to her mother and sister, but for her to really not find anything wrong with being a pawn in a game, he was beginning to wonder whether he'd ever known the real Sue Ellen. No honest woman could happily stay in a marriage that placed more importance on money and power than on love, honesty and faithfulness. So what did that make Sue Ellen? A gold-digger? A social climber? An opportunist? Or was she just a naïve young woman who truly believed things were better not because of JR's contract, but because he loved her and had changed? Whatever the term was, it wasn't complimentary.

"I'll see you tonight", smiling at him as she spoke, Sue Ellen then leaned up to kiss her husband again. "I can't wait darlin'", responding to her as their kiss ended, JR grinned to himself; he had promised to take her out for a proper date night and he was excited to spend time alone with her again. His excitement was boosted by the fact that his mother had practically jumped at the opportunity to take care of John Ross for as long as they were away and she had made it very clear that there was no need to rush home or even really return home that evening; they were allowed and deserved a night to themselves. Saying a few last words to each other, JR gave her one final kiss before getting in his car, reversing and heading down the driveway. If he could stay away from Bobby and his whiny, petulant attitude, he anticipated that his workday would be good and his evening alone with his wife would be even better. Driving through Braddock, he whistled to himself, he really was happy.

Hours later, after pacing around his office, unable to concentrate on anything but the unfair working situation he was in and the way it was affecting familial relations, Bobby walked out into the reception area to check with Julie again about whether his father had returned from his morning business meeting. He had landed in Dallas late the previous evening and by the time he'd arrived back at Southfork, everyone had retired to their bedrooms and it didn't seem appropriate to interrupt his parent's private time, especially since walking past JR and Sue Ellen's bedroom, he'd received an unwelcome reminder of what married couples often did when they were alone. His plan to speak to his father had been further delayed that morning when the conversation at family breakfast had been dominated by Lucy's incessant chattering about an upcoming class field trip and then his thoughts on his way out to his car had been disrupted by JR and Sue Ellen's public display of affection. Finally, arriving at the office, finding only JR and the secretaries present, he'd been informed that his father had a morning meeting and wouldn't be back in the office until later, so he'd wandered down the hall and sulked in his office for the remainder of the morning.

"He and JR are in his office. Do you want to wait until that meeting is over? Or would you like me to call through and tell him you'd like to speak to him now?" Jock hadn't specified that his meeting with JR was a closed meeting and seeing how antsy Bobby appeared to be, Julie assumed that whatever he had to discuss with his father was important, so she offered him two options. "Tell him I'm coming in", hearing that JR was with his father, Bobby's annoyance grew; how was it that JR always managed to sneak in and get to things before he did? Turning around, he marched down the hallway toward his father's office; Julie's call probably wouldn't get to his father before he did, but that didn't really matter, he and his father needed to talk and whether it was during an announced visit or not was of little relevance.

"To Ewing Eleven", holding his glass up, Jock toasted to the good news JR had just delivered him. They made a habit of cycling through and reassessing Ewing Oil's properties, former wells and existing wells every few months to see whether there were better uses for their resources or better places to focus their efforts on each job site, and while it wasn't always useful, this time, it had proven to be a brilliant idea. Hearing his intercom buzzing, he walked over to his desk, pressed the button and answered the call, though as his youngest son entered the room, his secretary's words were redundant. "Well, this looks like some kind of party. Why wasn't I invited?" Observing the jovial interaction between his father and oldest brother, Bobby's frustration grew and his initial greeting came out sounding just as harsh and annoyed as he felt. "Well, have a seat Bob, we've got a lot of room and a lot of booze. We're celebrating", grinning, JR walked over to the bar and poured his brother a drink. He could tell that Bobby was annoyed and possibly even angry, but he wasn't really bothered by it, he knew he held the upper hand in the situation, even if his youngest brother did make a rash decision and reveal the main reason for his annoyance. He had their father firmly on his side right now and he was sure that he wouldn't take too kindly to hearing about Bobby's latest investigation.

"Thank you JR, that's real kind of you", glaring at his brother, Bobby took the drink handed to him and then turned his attention to Jock. "So, what exactly is it that we're celebrating?" Although he was irritated, he wasn't stupid; he knew it was best to assess the situation at hand before jumping in with insinuations or accusations, even if he knew his opinion was based on fact. "Ewing Eleven, the new geological reports show that there could potentially be up to twenty five percent more oil than we'd originally thought", responding in a happy, but to the point manner, Jock eyed his youngest son, he had appeared suddenly and angrily; something was going on with him and he was going to find out what it was.

Hearing his father's answer, Bobby found himself shocked, though he didn't know why; of course his father wouldn't just tell him of the changes to the company, he hadn't in the past, why would he now? "Oh, so we're not celebrating JR's future ownership of Ewing Oil? Ownership where he gets everything and I get nothing", without thinking, the words came out of his mouth and as they did, the atmosphere in the room noticeably shifted. "Well? Why are you so quiet? That is what the new arrangement is, isn't it? JR acts like a proper husband to Sue Ellen and in exchange, he gets Ewing Oil, lock, stock, and barrel. Meanwhile, I slave away making dirty deals and working all sorts of angles to find common ground and make agreements and business connections and in the end, I get nothing. Right?"

"Well Bob, that's not quite it…" feigning surprise and offence, JR then took a step back from the conversation, and although he was keeping a straight face externally, internally, he was grinning. Bobby was a hothead and prior to confrontation turning into physical violence, it was rather fun to needle him, especially when every word he spoke just made him look worse. "Oh? It's not? Please JR, do tell. What am I missing? I'm sure there's something, especially since I was never informed of the changes personally, even though they affect me and my family just as much as they affect you and yours", glaring at his brother's obviously fake innocence, Bobby downed the rest of his drink and waited for a response.

Observing the situation playing out, Jock slowly began to piece together why Bobby was annoyed, though he found it hard to have much sympathy for him because of the way he'd approached the conversation. "Now, you just hold on Bobby. JR doesn't discuss my business with you or anybody else unless I tell him to. Do you understand?" growling his words at his youngest son, he moved closer to him; he was in no mood to deal with Bobby's problems, especially ones that shouldn't have even been his problems, at least not yet. He was very much aware that Bobby didn't get much out of his deal with JR, but he'd been working on a future plan for him so that it didn't matter too much later on, however, that plan wasn't ready yet and he didn't appreciate Bobby trying to call the shots. "Oh I understand just fine daddy. This is a deal between you and JR and I don't factor into it anywhere. What I want to know is why I wasn't informed earlier of my fate? Didn't you think I should know? Would you have ever told me if I didn't bring it up myself? Would you have allowed me to keep doing my job here for years to come and then one day just drop it on me out of the blue?" asking the questions he needed answered, he waited for his father to respond.

"Firstly, boy, don't you forget who's in control here. Ewing Oil is mine, I am free to do with it what I like and I do not have to answer to you, to JR or to anyone else. I do not appreciate being accosted like this; it's none of your business until I make it your business, which I didn't, so we really shouldn't even be having this conversation. Secondly, I don't know where you got your information from, though I have a few suspicions and I'll be sure to reassess the security around here, but you're misinformed about my deal with JR. I won't go into details about that though, because as I've said before, it's none of your business and you need to understand that. Thirdly, I have a plan for you just like I have a plan for JR; your time will come, but that time is not now and I don't owe you any explanations about anything. I am in control of Ewing Oil. I am Ewing Oil. It would serve you well to remember that. Oh, and finally, if you don't like the work you do for this company, then the door is right there", pointing, Jock glared at his youngest son, "this is a business, we work for our money and contrary to what you seem to think, that work isn't always fun. You make deals and work angles because it's your job, just the same as partying and socialising is your job. This is the real world, not college or the football field, you don't get to pick and choose what you do and don't do. I give the directions, you follow them, it's that simple. Do you understand?" moving through his responses to his youngest son's questions, Jock was highly annoyed. What gave Bobby the right to question anything that they did at Ewing Oil? He may have played favourites more than once, but he couldn't deny that JR respected authority and followed directions a lot better than Bobby did. Silently waiting for a response, he could tell that Bobby was considering his next move very carefully, because if he hadn't understood before, he did now; this was a serious adult conversation and acting like a spoiled child was not the way to approach it.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Part of the conversation is adapted from dialogue in **_**The Venezuelan Connection**_**, written by Leah Markus. No chapter tomorrow. Thanks for all the recent reviews :)**


	361. Win-win Situation

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR? I don't want to spend our entire evening talking about Bobby, so I'll just say what I have to say on the subject and then can we please file it away to deal with at a later date?" Taking a sip of her champagne, Sue Ellen looked at her husband and waited for him to nod or verbally signal her to continue. "I'm sorry darlin', I don't want to spend our evening talking about my little brother either; I guess I just needed to tell someone about everything that happened today. Go ahead…" motioning with his hand, he waited for her to continue. "Thank you. Firstly, I want to say that I'm very proud of you for holding back and not getting too involved in the situation; I'm sure there were a number of things you could have said, things that are probably true, but wouldn't be appreciated by Bobby or your daddy. I know your daddy has officially promised Ewing Oil to you and he's trying to change his attitude, but it's no secret that he has a soft spot for Bobby and history hasn't always reflected the fair attitude he likes to think he has, so thank you for not involving yourself any more than necessary". Giving him a warm, genuine smile, she paused for a few seconds before moving on to her next point.

"Secondly, I know this seems contradictory when you consider my previous point, but at some point, we're going to have to talk to Bobby, because from what you described to me, it sounds like he's completely misinformed about our marriage and your agreement with your daddy. I know it's absolutely none of his business and he never should have been involved in the first place, but now that he is, I want to set the record straight. As much as I just want to move on from that stupid morality clause and the reasons why it existed, I don't think I can do that until we have a proper fresh slate; we have one with your daddy, for now, but with Bobby thinking ill of me, it makes me feel uneasy and it upsets me. I have moral standards; I'm not a gold-digger who stays in a marriage purely for financial reasons, and I'm not a weak woman, I won't put up with being treated badly. I know it's silly to care so much, but I need Bobby to understand that, because as a person, I do like him and I want him to like and respect me too. I don't agree with his opinion or behaviour, but that doesn't mean I want to completely burn bridges with him. You know how I feel about John Ross growing up in a calm, happy environment; if we're going to live at Southfork, then it has to be without tension between the family, and if we do move away from Southfork in the future, then I want us to be welcome and feel at home there when we do visit". Looking directly at him as she spoke, she hoped that he was considering her perspective as she was explaining it, not just listening to her with no intention of actually doing what she was suggesting.

"I agree darlin', I want that for our family too. As for what Bobby thinks, well, lucky for him, he didn't verbalise much about you, it was mostly about what he thought of me; if he had said more about you, especially anything offensive, you probably wouldn't be so proud of me for staying quiet. I'll admit it, I enjoy seeing my brother working himself up and throwing a tantrum, but only to a point…" trailing off as he thought about the hypothetical situation, he then shook his head and looked at his wife again. "We'll talk to Bobby, for the good of the family, not because I think he deserves an explanation. We'll talk to him on our terms though; there will be no business negotiation, I will not give him part of Ewing Oil just because he whines about it, and besides, daddy's right, Ewing Oil is his and he can do what he wants with it. Luckily for us, my position in the company has been settled and is guaranteed. So yes, we will talk to Bobby, but if anything, he'll be apologising to us, or at least to you". Making his position clear and getting a nod of agreement from Sue Ellen, he then reached over the table and gently touched her hand, "now, was that all, or did you have more to say?"

Taking another sip of her champagne, Sue Ellen briefly considered keeping her thoughts to herself, because it really wasn't her business anyway, however, since she and JR had made a commitment to be open and honest with each other and since she was fairly sure her idea wasn't completely ridiculous, she decided to just tell him. "Well, I had one more thought; it's the last one, I promise", pausing, she was encouraged by his interested expression. "I know it's not really any of my business what Bobby does, just like it's not really any of his business what we do, however, I was thinking about it earlier in the week and then again when you were first explaining what happened today". Taking a small pause, she then got to the crux of the matter, "to me, there seems like a very simple solution to the issues Bobby is concerned about right now; his future, his family's future and his worth as a Ewing, as Jock Ewing's son. Ewing Oil is not the only business the Ewing family is involved in; Southfork is a working ranch, one that your mama tells me her daddy insisted stays a working ranch. I know you, you have no interest in ranching, but Bobby does, and from what you tell me, he has little ability in the oil business when it comes to actual decisions that need to be made, so to me, it seems like a natural, sensible decision. Bobby is a rancher, you're not; you're an oilman, he's not. Your daddy is going to have to appoint someone to run the ranch when he's gone and as much as your mama wishes that Gary would come home and commit to it, I think even she knows that that's unlikely. You have Ewing Oil and Bobby can have the ranch, it's a win-win situation, both businesswise and personally". Explaining her thoughts, Sue Ellen watched his expression closely and was both relieved and pleased when he nodded periodically as she spoke and then began to grin as she finished speaking.

"That it is darlin'. I like that plan, I like it very much, in fact, I'm almost disappointed I can't take credit for it myself. Bobby's always been more of a cowboy than an oilman…" Thinking about the situation, his grin widened; if he played his cards right, he could get Bobby out of his business much sooner than he'd originally planned. "We'll have to approach it carefully, I can't have daddy thinking I'm purposely trying to push Bobby out, and I can't have Bobby getting suspicious about the plan and deciding that he'll object to it out of spite. I have no doubt that it's doable though, and it really is the perfect plan, so as long as we time it correctly, everything should work out. Thank you for your idea darlin', it was very insightful". Continuing to grin as he spoke, his thoughts were only interrupted as their first course arrived. Listening as Sue Ellen thanked him and then called time on their Bobby related conversation, he knew his scheming would have to wait until later, though he didn't mind, because it meant they were returning to couple time and he was definitely excited for that.

To be continued…


	362. Traditions

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR", breaking their kiss as she felt his fingers moving down her back, untying her dress and allowing it to fall to the ground around her feet, Sue Ellen breathlessly whispered her request, "bedroom. Now", and hearing his wife's words, JR needed no further prompting, making moves to do exactly that. Quickly shrugging his unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders, allowing it to join his shoes, jacket, belt and tie on the floor, he then took her hand, pulling her into the bedroom with him before quickly resuming their passionate embrace. Consciously, neither of them was thinking about anything other than their present actions, however, subconsciously, it soon became clear that there were deeper motivations and considerations behind their everyday actions, ones that didn't become obvious until they took a break from their regular routine. The alcohol they'd consumed over dinner probably influenced their behaviour, allowing them to be free of their inhibitions and considerations for those around them, however, a bigger factor in their current behaviour was the knowledge that they were all alone in a penthouse suite at one of Dallas' finest hotels. Aware that they were free to do what they wanted, without limitation, their subsequent actions came naturally, with great enthusiasm and heightened mutual enjoyment and satisfaction.

Letting out a happy sigh, breaking the euphoric silence they had fallen into post-intimacy, Sue Ellen turned toward JR so they were facing each other, and kissing his lips softly, she settled into a comfortable position before speaking. "Remind me again why we share a house with the whole family?" half-joking, but also half-serious, she looked him in the eye as she spoke. Their dinner date had been romantic, fun and subtly sexy, and returning to their hotel room after dessert, their excitement, love and need for each other had only intensified, leading them straight to where they wanted to be, with amazing results, ones she wouldn't mind replicating in their regular life. "Right now darlin', I can't think of one good reason", chuckling softly as he answered her question, JR's signature grin reappeared as he mentally relived their earlier activities, though her words did cause his mind to go to other places too, ones he wasn't sure he was ready to face just yet.

Although their first separation had allowed them to talk through their issues and come to a mutual understanding regarding wanting and needing a more varied and exciting sex life, and that understanding had led them to break down the barriers of impropriety and awkwardness, it was still strikingly obvious at times that their regular sex life was still somewhat subdued. No one at Southfork had ever directly said anything, however, after enough of Lucy's comments about not being able to get a good night's sleep, the way the rest of the family stayed silent during those conversations and her eventual move into a bedroom that didn't share a wall with her theirs, it wasn't too difficult to work out. Plainly put, reigniting their love and lust for each other may have been fun for them, but to the rest of the occupants at Southfork, it was just an uncomfortable new reality. For JR and Sue Ellen, it wasn't something they'd ever discussed together or even really acknowledged to themselves, but it had obviously registered somewhere in each of their unconscious minds, because if the trips they had taken away from Southfork in recent months were any evidence, their location and known privacy definitely affected the depth and breadth of their actions.

"Neither can I", laughing as she agreed with his statement, Sue Ellen moved to snuggle closer to him; it felt wonderful to be so close physically as well as emotionally. Laying in silence for a few moments, they both found themselves considering their recent actions, her question and the general context of their lives, and almost unintentionally speaking aloud, Sue Ellen said what they were both thinking, "so, why do we stay?" Crinkling his forehead as he thought about how to answer her question, JR waited a few seconds before letting out a small sigh and resignedly answering, "I don't know darlin', tradition I suppose. Southfork is the Ewing family home and we're Ewings, so naturally, we live there too…" knowing his explanation was fairly weak, JR left his sentence hanging, because honestly, he couldn't think of many reasons why they did what they did, it was just how it had always been and he'd never really questioned it before.

"Mm", murmuring to confirm that she'd heard and understood him, Sue Ellen leaned up to look at him, before changing the subject for a moment, "I like being a Ewing. Specifically, I like being Mrs JR Ewing, because I love you and I love our life together". Giving him another soft kiss, she then moved their conversation back to their previous topic, "traditions can change though". She wasn't entirely sure what she wanted to gain from their conversation, but she saw no harm in at least approaching the topic, especially since it was clear that they were both on the same page about a lot of things now. "I love you too darlin', and I don't and wouldn't want or have anyone else as Mrs JR Ewing", returning her kiss, he then moved on to responding to her second comment, "as for traditions changing, yes, they can change…", pausing for a moment, he then spoke more directly, "is that what you want? For us to change the family tradition?" speaking in a soft, caring tone, he waited patiently as she quietly considered how to respond to his question. Thinking about it, Sue Ellen knew in her heart that the answer was yes, but she also knew that despite the fact that JR probably agreed with her, there were a lot of other things to consider before they made a decision and before they were in a place where they could move forward with that decision. Knowing that none of that was really necessary to be thinking about right now though, she finally broke her silence; "well, yes and no", whispering her response, she took a small pause and the completed her sentence. "I still want the Ewings to have a family home, but I want it to be ours; you, me and John Ross, I want us to have our own home, I want us to make our own traditions".

To be continued…


	363. Making Headway

**Dallas, Texas**

"Think about it. Wouldn't it be nice to start every day in such a relaxed manner?" enjoying their breakfast together in the dining room in their suite, Sue Ellen made conversation, adding to the list of reasons why buying or building their own home was a good idea. JR had been fairly receptive to the idea the previous evening, however, he'd also expressed a few concerns about the impact it would have on their relationship with the family, though she knew that when he said 'the family', he meant his father. Things were good between Jock, JR and Sue Ellen now, however, that change in attitude and behaviour was also still very recent and JR feared that if they made any big announcements or changes that could be perceived as negative, things would quickly slide downhill again and he really didn't want that to happen, especially not right now. Things were finally settled in regard to his future ownership and presidency of Ewing Oil, however, there was still the problem of Bobby to deal with before he could properly relax and enjoy the stability of his job. He had no doubt that when the time came for Jock to retire, there would be no fight for Ewing Oil or the positions within the company, because he planned to make sure Bobby knew and was happy with his place; he would get his personal and familial succession plan, it just wouldn't be with Ewing Oil. JR wasn't a genie though, he couldn't just make things happen, he needed a little time to work his plan and he needed his father to on his side during that time, and knowing his father, even if he did eventually accept their proposal to move to a family home of their own, it wouldn't be his first response. Therefore, for reasons related to the overall context of their lives and the positive relationships he needed to make his and Sue Ellen's future plan a success, he needed to think carefully about her suggestion before agreeing to it.

Other than the issue of getting Bobby out of Ewing Oil once and for all though, he really had no other objections to the idea of moving into their own home, and if his father and brother hadn't been on his mind, he would have already agreed to making it happen. He and Sue Ellen had spoken a little about it the previous night and since waking up together an hour ago, there hadn't been one topic of conversation that Sue Ellen hadn't somehow managed to integrate the topic of their own, private space into. First it had been their morning intimacy, then their general preparations for the day, and now it was breakfast, though he couldn't deny that she was right, it was nice to spend their morning together, going at their own pace, and he imagined that it would be nice to live in such a way in their daily lives too. "Oh, I agree wholeheartedly darlin', this has been a very relaxing and enjoyable morning and I would love to start every day just like this, especially at busy times of the year. I'm sure you're aware, but although I love Ewing Oil and the oil business, sometimes I do just want to enjoy my wife, my son, my breakfast and my morning newspaper, without having to discuss business with daddy", taking a sip of coffee, he was pleased to see her obvious happiness at his answer.

"Mm, I can understand that", grinning as he responded to her, Sue Ellen hoped that his hesitation was starting to lessen and she would soon have a more promising answer. She could deal with waiting a little while for things to calm down and return to normal at Southfork before dropping the news on the family that they intended to move out, however, her ability to wait out that time was heavily dependent on knowing that it was a done deal. She'd never really thought about it too deeply before, because she'd always just regarded it as logical that she, Mrs JR Ewing, would move into her husband's home after their wedding, even if his home happened to be the family home; she couldn't pretend that she had never considered them living on their own before though, because she had. JR had bought her an apartment for her graduation and they'd played happy, domestic couple many times there, however, it hadn't been until their honeymoon that it had hit her that the normality of their marriage when they were alone was something that was a novelty rather than an everyday occurrence. For the most part, although life at Southfork was regimented and lacked privacy, she really did like living there and she really did like being a part of a big family. The idea of her, JR and John Ross living together on their own had been on her mind more and more in recent months though, usually after returning home from a vacation or weekend away; after their small discussion the previous evening as well as her attempts at convincing JR this morning though, she was now completely sure.

Taking a sip of her coffee, she paused for a moment before speaking again, "it could be a reality, we could spend our mornings together, just the three of us. Moving away from Southfork wouldn't mean the end of our relationship with the family, it would just mean that instead of seeing them for seven breakfasts and seven dinners a week, we see them for one or two dinners a week and perhaps spend a whole day together over the weekend. I don't want us to upset the family, I just want us to have a little privacy and space to enjoy our own family. Your mama told me that the ranch house we live in now isn't the one she grew up in, she told me that your daddy built the house for her and his family. All I want is for us to have the same opportunity", speaking emotively, she paused for a moment before directly asking him again, "so, what do you think? Can we at least look into it? I don't need it to happen immediately, I just want it to happen at some point. You can deal with Bobby and keep building your relationship with your daddy, but please, also think about you, me, John Ross and what's best for our family". Waiting for an answer, she could tell from his facial expression that he was really thinking about it and from his earlier statements, she knew he was interested in the idea, however, when he responded, "yes", she still found herself surprised. "Yes?" repeating his answer back to him, she began to grin as she watched him nod and then grin, "yes. We have to make sure to time out announcement correctly and make sure to communicate our plans properly when the time does come, but other than that, I don't have any other conditions. I want this just as much as you do, I want us to be a family". Looking directly at her as he spoke, JR knew he'd made the right decision; he wanted them to be happy and this would be a large step toward making that happen; they would have to plan it well, but he was confident that everything would work out; he was JR Ewing after all.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Reviews aren't showing again for some reason, but I am still receiving them by email, so thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter :) ****There will be no chapter tomorrow.**


	364. The Treehouse

**Dallas, Texas**

Dismounting from his horse, Bobby led him over to the pond to drink before tying him to a tree branch. Climbing up a small wooden ladder and entering his childhood treehouse, he sighed loudly; as much as he had tried to convince himself that taking a ride by himself would clear his head, it hadn't and he still felt exactly as he had when he'd left the house earlier in the afternoon, stupid and embarrassed. Forethought and holistic thinking had never been his strong suit, but those weaknesses and his jump the gun attitude had really put him in a bad position, because it was clear to him now that he had made some serious errors in judgement and his plan to regain his rights had backfired, making him look whiny, immature and untrustworthy. Not only was his father annoyed at him for snooping at his private files and attempting to involve himself in a situation he had no reason to be involved in or concerned about, he was also annoyed at him for the petulant, expectant attitude he'd had when confronting the issues, and he'd had no problem telling him that. In addition to being told off by his father for snooping, whining and questioning authority, he'd annoyed JR, made himself look bad by assuming things and offended Sue Ellen.

Leaving his father's office the previous day, after being put in his place, he had spent the rest of his workday in his own office with the door closed, though his efforts at avoidance seemed pointless in the end, he lived with his father, he couldn't hide forever. After dinner, one he was glad JR and Sue Ellen were absent from, he'd attempted to right things with his father, though even in apologising and taking the harsh reprimand his father had for him, he knew that he wasn't completely forgiven and his father wasn't ready to just forgive and move on. Accepting that he wasn't in his father's good books at present, he'd then spent the rest of the evening alone, not daring to leave the house to head into Braddock for fear that his father may interpret his leaving as an act of immaturity, as if he were storming out, not just having fun on a Friday night. The next morning had been a little better though and he wondered why that was; could his mother have more power over his father than he believed? She sure did seem to look at him expectantly at breakfast that morning. Whatever it was, he was pleased that he no longer felt as if his relationship with his father was completely strained and although it was nowhere near what he was used to, he was willing to accept it for now. Mentally reliving their argument, he'd realised that his father had specifically said that he had a plan for his future as well as JR's, so he needed to trust that he did and he needed to behave properly in order to make sure his father didn't angrily change his mind. Knowing that and knowing that he had been in the wrong, he made a commitment to himself to do exactly that.

The rest of the morning hadn't been too bad, at least not until JR and Sue Ellen returned home from their overnight trip, then the atmosphere turned back into awkward, icy and for him, embarrassing. After greeting the family as they walked into the house, JR had quietly pulled him aside and told him that they needed to talk, though since John Ross was currently awake, they would wait until after lunch to do so. He hadn't expected Sue Ellen to be in the meeting, so when they all gathered in the office after lunch, he felt even more uncomfortable than he had the previous day, because although he'd never verbalised his thoughts about Sue Ellen supporting JR even when he had no redeemable qualities, he had a feeling that she knew he was judging. The conversation itself had come as a bit of a shock to him though; instead of JR speaking first, he'd stepped back and allowed his wife to explain the situation, the one he had judged so incorrectly. It was obvious that Sue Ellen had years of etiquette training behind her, because she'd calmly and politely given him her direct, honest opinion, correcting him where his judgements about JR's contract and her submissive nature were wrong and making it known that their marriage was no one's business but theirs; not once had she sounded rude or nasty though. Despite the polite manner in which he had been reprimanded, his sister-in-law's speech definitely hadn't made him feel any better than he had after his conversation with his father the previous evening, and with JR's unnecessary additional comments about knowing his place and minding his own business in the future, he felt about two feet tall when the conversation ended.

Sitting in the treehouse doorway, looking out over the ranch, he sighed to himself again. He had been an idiot, he couldn't deny that and he couldn't deny that the position he was in now was mostly because of his own actions. He had assumed things, he had made judgements, he had acted on his feelings too quickly and he had reacted badly when the topic came up in conversation, but worst of all, he had acted in a manner that made him look like the ungrateful, disrespectful son and JR look like the dutiful, respectful son. There was nothing wrong with both he and JR being a part of Ewing Oil, but he didn't like the idea of JR being a part of it alone, without him, and his father being completely ok with that because he had given up on the idea of having two sons who equally loved and respected the family business. He couldn't deny that JR probably did have a better understanding of Ewing Oil overall, and he definitely had more experience, but at the end of the day, he couldn't pretend that he wasn't hurt by his father's decision not to include him in the future business leadership model and he'd reacted badly to that knowledge. He had to trust his father though, he had to trust that he knew what he was doing and that he understood that he was sorry for his emotional outburst, and hopefully, when things cooled down a little, he would find out what his father's plan for him was. He also needed assurance that despite their argument yesterday, his father's overall love and feelings for him hadn't changed; he couldn't deal with the thought of not being Jock Ewing's favourite son or having his father overly upset or disappointed with him, it wasn't normal and it wasn't right. Things had to get better, they just had to, otherwise, he didn't know what he would do.

To be continued…


	365. Mommy and Me

**Dallas, Texas**

"Oh Miss Ellie, it was wonderful. I don't know why I waited so long before joining, I really should have signed up sooner. We didn't do too many different activities to what we do when we're here at home, but I think John Ross really enjoyed the opportunity to do those things in a group with other babies; I know I enjoyed meeting the other mothers too". Unable to stop grinning as she explained how their first mother and baby playgroup had gone, Sue Ellen's happiness was obvious and contagious. Reaching out to pat her hand gently, Miss Ellie returned her daughter-in-law's smile and then asked a few prompting questions; it was lovely to see Sue Ellen happy again and she would do everything she could to encourage and support her and her grandson. Over the past two weeks, things had been a bit of a rollercoaster at Southfork, however, if there was one constant, it was JR and Sue Ellen's happiness in their marriage, as individuals and as parents. Smiling knowingly to herself as she listened to Sue Ellen explaining the nursery rhymes and songs they'd sang and the interactive games they'd played, she had no doubt that her daughter-in-law had well and truly moved past any self-doubt she'd had in the past; she and JR weren't their parents and they weren't doomed to repeat their own childhoods.

"It all sounds delightful. I'm very pleased that you went and you and John Ross had a good time. It's good for John Ross to interact with other children and I think making friends with some women in the same position as you is a very good idea. Is it a weekly activity?" responding with genuine happiness and interest, Miss Ellie then posed a question that seemed innocent, but was really intended to confirm the information she already knew before making a suggestion she'd been wanting Sue Ellen to take advantage of more often for years. "Yes, every Wednesday, but from what I gather, some of the other mothers are friends with each other outside of the group, so they meet up for playdates". Quietening as she finished speaking, her former insecurities came rushing back to her and she suddenly began to doubt her previous excitement. In her mind, it made sense that although she was excited to be in a social group, one that was much less formal and stuffy than the DOA, she was still a very new member and the friendly atmosphere she'd experienced during her first attendance could have been a fluke, there was no guarantee that she would make friends.

Observing Sue Ellen's mood change, Miss Ellie adjusted her attitude accordingly, "that sounds like a wonderful opportunity. I wish I'd had something like that to attend when I was a new mother", pausing for a second, she hoped Sue Ellen would remember that she was speaking to a woman who had had three sons of her own, so she wasn't totally naïve about parenting or worrying about her own identity and social life. "I'm sure once you get to know some of the other mothers a little more, you'll make a lot of new friends. You're a very friendly and likeable young woman and John Ross is a happy, playful and lovable little boy; you two draw people to you all the time and I'm sure this group will be no different". Giving Sue Ellen the reassurance she knew she needed, she was pleased when her daughter-in-law appeared to relax and then smiled warmly at her. "Thank you Miss Ellie. I don't know why, but sometimes I begin to second-guess and overanalyse situations. You're right, John Ross is a happy, playful and loveable little boy and from what I experienced earlier, he wasn't the only reason why I had a good time. I'm sure everything will be just fine". Having spent months in Doctor Williams' office dealing with her various personal issues, Sue Ellen was able to acknowledge and accept reassurance more easily now than she had in the past, and looking at the situation from Miss Ellie's perspective, she was able to see that she was worrying for no real reason; all evidence pointed toward a positive future.

Observing Sue Ellen's mood changing again, this time reverting to her original happiness, Miss Ellie took the opportunity to say what she had originally been planning to say before Sue Ellen's momentary irrational worry. "It will, and when you make friends with these women and John Ross makes friends with their children, I don't want you to hesitate in inviting them over for a playdate either; you and John Ross both deserve to have a few friends. Please remember too, you're a Ewing and Southfork is your home; you don't need to ask permission to have a few people here for a social visit, so if the opportunity does arise for you to invite a few of the ladies and their babies around spur-of-the-moment after class one day, you're more than welcome to". Not going into any real detail, Miss Ellie reminded Sue Ellen of her rights to use the family home as she pleased and was satisfied that her daughter-in-law understood when she nodded and verbally reassured her that she was aware of her place at Southfork and if the opportunity arose, she would certainly take advantage of the ranch facilities. Satisfied with Sue Ellen's answer, Miss Ellie smiled and was pleased when Sue Ellen began to tell her another story, happily accepting and then moving on from their former conversation; her daughter-in-law seemed happy and that was all she wanted for her. Her concern and insistence came from a place of love, because Sue Ellen was only twenty-five and a half years of age, she was still young, she was healthy, she was friendly, polite and beautiful, she had an adorable and lovable baby son and was in a happy marriage, but despite all of those things, she was largely friendless. Yes, she had Paula, but although Paula lived within driving distance, Arlington was still almost an hour's drive from Southfork and Paula had her own life to live as well as her friendship with Sue Ellen to think about. Sue Ellen needed more and Miss Ellie was determined to make sure that she had all the support and encouragement necessary to ensure that her future was happy, bright and social.

To be continued…


	366. Dream Home

**Dallas, Texas**

"So, what do you think? Is this your new home?" clapping his hands together eagerly, Mr Wilson, JR and Sue Ellen's real estate agent, waited with bated breath for the words they all wanted to hear, the words he was sure would be spoken after viewing their final property of the day. The Ewings had toured several properties prior to this one and hadn't quite found what they were looking for in any of them, however, saving the best for last, he hoped that the streak of disappointment was about to end. The large home situated in Dallas' prestigious Preston Hollow featured five bedrooms, six bathrooms, a home office and swimming pool and was surrounded by three acres of manicured landscaping; it was perfect for what his wealthy, important clients needed and wanted and as far as he was concerned, there would be no further need to keep viewing available properties. Unfortunately though, if Mrs Ewing's body language was anything to go by, his hopes for a quick sale of a very expensive home were about to be dashed.

Shaking her head and quietly whispering the word "no", Sue Ellen could feel the change in atmosphere in the spacious formal dining room. It was quickly becoming clear to her that although she'd thought she knew what she wanted, she really didn't and until that point, she wasn't ready to commit to any home. She and JR had discussed it at length over the past couple of weeks and had decided that location wise, they didn't want to be any further from downtown Dallas than Southfork already was, but at the same time, in moving closer to the city, they didn't want to forget one of the main reasons why they were moving, privacy. In addition to not wanting to be too close to their neighbours, they'd also considered the size of their family right now, and discussed the very real possibility that they wouldn't always be a family of three, so if they were going to purchase a home, then it needed to be one that could accommodate their current and future needs. Of course, no family of three, four or five really needed acres and acres of land to explore and a several thousand square foot house to live in, but seeing as money really was no object, they saw no reason to limit themselves to a regular suburban neighbourhood or to settle for anything less than perfect. Because of their discussions and agreement about what they wanted, she'd thought that they'd done pretty well at communicating their realistic needs and idealistic wants when they originally met with Mr Wilson earlier in the week, however, after viewing multiple homes and properties today, she wasn't so sure anymore.

Feeling Sue Ellen's shyness and slight embarrassment at delivering what had to be frustrating news to Mr Wilson, JR decided to step in and explain their decision. "Don't get us wrong, it's not the location or homes that are the problem, in fact, admittedly, most of the homes we toured today fit our list of must-haves and would-likes, so logically, there should be one that we're taken with, however, that's not the case right now. None of these homes feel right and until we find one that does, we won't even consider putting in an offer. I'm sorry I can't explain it any more than that…" feeling slightly embarrassed himself, because he could see the disappointment and frustration on Mr Wilson's face and he knew what it was like to deal with wishy-washy clients, JR attempted to explain the odd feeling both he and Sue Ellen had, one that had no logical reason for existing.

"I understand", remaining professional, even though he was confused and disappointed, Mr Wilson listened as JR described what so many of the clients he'd dealt during his first few years in the real estate business had naively expected to gain out of the home-buying process; the magical moment. It wasn't unusual for first-home buyers to expect to be completely enamoured with every detail of a property before purchasing it and to then be disappointed when they lacked the economic means to purchase their dream property, and instead, settled for something smaller, older or in a less desirable neighbourhood, however, with Mr and Mrs Ewing, the problem was atypical. Detailing exactly what they needed and wanted, he had compiled a list of suitable properties, ones that Mr Ewing himself had admitted were exactly what they were looking for and should have been drawn to, however, that hadn't happened and he had no real explanation why. He dealt with wealthy clients on a daily basis, but thus far, Mrs and Mrs JR Ewing were the most specific but ambiguous; direct, but confusing; and decisive but indecisive couple he had ever met. "Where would you like to go to from here? I can compile another list of properties that fit your specifications, however, I do have to be honest with you; the properties we looked at today are the ones that met the most criteria…" offering them the opportunity to decide their next move, he gave them his honest assessment before pausing and waiting for a response.

Half an hour later, as they exited the highway and drove through Braddock, toward Southfork, Sue Ellen's hazy, confused thoughts about their future home suddenly became a lot clearer. There was something very soothing about driving down the long, straight road and passing nothing but grass, trees, cattle and the occasional house; the land in the neighbourhoods they'd visited earlier in the day was nothing like the land in Braddock County and as much as she'd thought she was ok with that, she wasn't. The fact was, she liked riding her horse around Southfork and exploring the rural, unmanicured landscape; she liked being able to look out the window and not see another house for miles; and she liked that John Ross spent a good amount of time with Lucy and Miss Ellie. The only things she really disliked about living at Southfork were the lack of privacy, lack of autonomy and awkward atmosphere at times, however, none of those were things that really required a solution more drastic than a simple, short-distance change of location. "JR?" looking over at her husband as he drove toward Southfork, she spoke calmly, "I'm not confused anymore. I know what I want now".

To be continued…

**Author's Note: There probably won't be a chapter tomorrow. Thanks for reading and for all of the recent reviews :)**


	367. Ewing Business

**Dallas, Texas**

"…now remember, I'm not asking for your opinion on his personality, I'm asking for your opinion on his ability do the work required here; so, tell me honestly, do you think he's cut out for it?" Looking directly at Ray as he sought a second opinion on his prospective plan for youngest son's future, Jock waited for an answer. Although he was still annoyed by the tantrum Bobby had thrown and the overall bratty and ungrateful attitude he'd displayed in their argument a few weeks ago, he wasn't prepared to throw his entire future succession plan away. It also helped that Bobby was the one son of his who had enough common sense to know when to cut his losses and apologise, because he had done exactly that, just hours after their argument; he'd apologised for his behaviour and attitude and he'd promised that he would do whatever he was told, because he knew his place. In the weeks since then, although their relationship was still strained, things were also a lot better than they had been during the few days after their argument. He had done a lot of thinking about why Bobby had reacted the way he did and he'd come to a logical and understanding conclusion, one that he'd already been aware of prior to Bobby's outburst, but hadn't quite realised how strongly his youngest son's feelings were. He wasn't stupid, he knew that Bobby's words and behaviour were spurred by his fear of completely losing what little he had at Ewing Oil, his fear of ruining their father-son bond, and the sense of competition he felt with JR, and understanding his motivations, he understood why Bobby had reacted the way that he did. Knowing his youngest son though, he had a feeling that his emotions about his rightful place in Ewing Oil had more to do with the emphasis and importance that had always been placed on the company as the Ewing legacy and their family's main source of wealth than it did with a genuine interest and love for the oil business. He was sure that as long as Bobby felt valued and needed, it wouldn't really matter what he was doing. Going by that assumption, he moved full steam ahead with a plan he'd had for a while, one he hoped would calm things and secure the legacy of all Ewing business once and for all.

Considering Jock's proposal and question, Ray waited a moment before responding to him. "Well sir, you know I would never lie to you, especially not about something this important, so you can trust me when I say this; I think what you're planning is a very good idea. From what I've seen and experienced working with Bobby, he understands what needs to be done, he's capable and willing to do those things, and most of all, he really enjoys ranching. As well as that, I know you didn't really want to know my opinion on his personality, but I think it applies here, because it's important to the overall running of the ranch; the presence of a Ewing in our day-to-day work, whether it be you or Bobby, it's an excellent boost to staff morale. The boys like to see the boss and his son out here with the rest of us, they like to know that someone values and understands the work they do and I know that you and Bobby really do, so I'm sure that if in the future, there's a stronger Ewing presence around here, it can only mean good things. Bobby is a people person, he's friendly and relatable, but when the situation calls for it, he's also able to give orders and make his position of authority known. To answer your question simply though, yes, I think he definitely has the ability to work here, especially if you're planning to follow the steps you explained to me earlier. There's a lot to learn before he has the knowledge and experience necessary to run the ranch like you and I do, but as you said earlier, you're not planning to throw him in at the deep end. You took me in when I was just fifteen; I knew how to work hard and I knew how to follow orders, but I didn't really know anything about ranching; you taught me a lot and I'm very grateful to you for that, and if I know Bobby, he will be too". Looking Jock in the eye as he spoke, Ray hoped that he understood just how much he had changed his life, because he had and he truly was grateful to him for the opportunities afforded to him. He also hoped that Jock understood that he didn't take it lightly at all that he was being asked for his professional opinion on such a personal matter.

Silently nodding his head in agreement as Ray spoke, Jock waited a few moments after he finished speaking to respond to his affirmation that the prospective plan was a good one. "Good, good. To hear you say those things makes me a very proud man; you're a good foreman and a good man and I do trust your opinion, so if you agree that this is the right place for Bobby, then I trust you and I trust that you'll teach him some of the things I taught you". Slapping him on the shoulder, Jock took a small pause and then moved their talk away from slight sentimentality and back to straight business, "I'll talk to him this week and we'll see what we can do about his hours. We still need him at Ewing Oil, but I want him to do at least a couple of days a week here on the ranch". Receiving a nod and a verbal agreement from Ray, he knew the conversation had gone as far as it needed to; he was satisfied, Ray was a good man and Bobby would do well under his leadership. If all went to plan, everything would work out just fine. All he needed now was Bobby's agreement, though if his assumptions about his youngest son's need to feel important, special and included were correct, he wouldn't object too much to his new job, and hopefully, he would actually be happy with it. It was what was best for the family and for the two Ewing businesses.

To be continued…


	368. Bone of Contention

**Dallas, Texas**

"We're playing with fire and I don't like it. We need to tell your mama and daddy, because it is only a matter of time before someone else tells them, and if that happens, things will undoubtedly be more dramatic and tense than they need to be. It might not be said in a malicious manner, it could be a genuine query about whether your daddy is planning to expand Southfork ranch or something similar, but even then, it's going to be awkward, uncomfortable and upsetting for them if they find out that way. I don't know about you, but if I was in your mama and daddy's position, I would want to hear the information from the primary source rather than through the gossipy grapevine. In addition to that, we need to tell them because it makes me feel immensely guilty to listen to Miss Ellie when she speaks in such an excited and loving manner about John Ross' future here at Southfork, and it makes me feel guilty to know that she spends time worrying about whether I'm as happy here as he is. I don't like keeping this information to ourselves, it makes me feel like we're doing something wrong, but we're not, we're married adults, we have our own family and it's perfectly normal for us to have our own space. Hiding our intentions and sneaking around behind everyone's back will not reflect well on us when the time does come to convince them that this is the right decision. We need to tell them and we need to do it soon". Making sure to look JR in the eye as she spoke, Sue Ellen communicated her feelings and wishes to him in a direct manner, just as Doctor Williams had instructed her to do. She understood that communication, honesty and willpower were important when it came to a healthy marriage and effective problem solving and she was determined to make sure she did everything she could to achieve a good outcome.

Their plan to stay quiet about their prospective move was only supposed to have been a temporary one, however, to Sue Ellen, it was beginning to feel permanent. It had been almost three weeks since they had made the decision to buy their own home and although they had started the process of making that happen, they still hadn't announced their plan to anyone. They'd agreed to let things at Southfork settle a bit before telling the family their news, and as far as Sue Ellen was concerned, things had settled and it was time. Unfortunately though, JR didn't quite agree, and every time she attempted to convince him to make the announcement, he always had a reason why it wasn't the right time. She understood that he wanted to make sure Bobby's future away from Ewing Oil was secure before he gave his father any reason to be upset with him, because with Jock's overall feelings for Bobby, there was always the possibility that they would make up quickly, Jock would have second thoughts and then JR would end up being short-changed again. However, from what she could tell, although Bobby and Jock's recently icy relationship seemed to be thawing and slowly returning to normal, their previous argument hadn't been forgotten and Jock's attitude toward his sons and Ewing Oil had changed a little.

Apart from what JR had told her about Jock's brief mention of a plan for both Bobby and JR's futures, no one had explicitly said anything about planned upcoming changes. However, if Miss Ellie's small comments about Southfork land and her father's wishes for it to always remain a working ranch were anything to go by, she and JR were not the only ones who considered it to be a logical and smart decision for Bobby to eventually move away from Ewing Oil and into to ranch work. Because of both Jock and Miss Ellie's comments about the future, their wishes for peace and harmony, the fact that Bobby working the ranch really was a logical solution, and her knowledge that Miss Ellie and Jock did discuss family issues with each other, Sue Ellen was confident that Bobby and JR's futures were secure and separate from each other. Her confidence that everything was on the verge of working out was really contributing to her frustration with JR though, because the last thing she wanted was for everything to become happy and harmonious and for their news to come as a complete shock to the family, causing a whole new set of repercussions to deal with. They needed to be tactful and truthful when they informed Jock and Miss Ellie of their intention to move out, and right now, she had a horrible feeling that as the days passed and their plans became more real and widely known, their power over the situation was slowly slipping away from them and they would soon completely lose control.

Staying silent as he listened to his wife repeat the same message she had been telling him for over a week, JR was torn. On one hand, he understood exactly what Sue Ellen was saying and he agreed with her, but on the other hand, he still wasn't convinced that telling his parents their news right now was the best idea and he wished that she would understand his reasons for feeling that way. She'd told him multiple times that she had a feeling that they weren't alone in thinking that for a calmer, healthier familial relationship, it was only logical to have the two Ewing sons working in in two completely different family businesses; that way, they could both feel powerful and important and there would be no direct competition between them. Unfortunately though, he had no evidence to back up Sue Ellen's feelings about the situation, so he was cautious to do anything that would rock the boat too much right now, because although he was definitely a risk-taker, he wasn't stupid and he knew that there was a possibility that telling his father their news right now could completely backfire. No, he wanted to wait until Sue Ellen's intuitive feeling and his small, subtle hints became a more substantial, permanent plan, and he didn't see why she couldn't wait until that plan was announced before making their announcement, especially since she was so sure that it was about to happen, without their interference.

"Darlin', I understand what you're saying, I really do, but you have to see things from my perspective too. I know we're taking a risk by not telling mama and daddy about our plans right now, but is it as big of a risk as telling them and potentially getting stuck with Bobby as a business partner or something similar? You know daddy could hear what we're saying and completely overreact, causing more problems for me at work than I already have. I want to wait, just a little longer, just until everything you're assuming will happen actually happens". Attempting to respond, he stopped speaking for a moment as Sue Ellen let out a frustrated sigh and threw her arms in the air; it wasn't like her to react so openly or negatively to what he was saying.

"I have to see things from your perspective? Haven't you been listening to me at all? We've been following your plan for weeks and it's done nothing but make me feel jumpy, nervous and worried that we're setting ourselves up for a fall. Your daddy isn't a completely fair man, I can't argue with that, but I do know that he appreciates honesty and hates deceit, and right now, I feel like we're being deceitful and I hate it. Ignore the 'threat' of Bobby for now, I don't think it's as great as the threat that you could lose a whole lot more than Ewing Oil if your daddy finds out that we're sneaking around behind his back, making plans to move away from him and this house. If I know your daddy, he'll find out from someone else and automatically assume that you played him; he'll assume that you intentionally renegotiated your contract so that you got everything you deserved, all while you were planning to move away from him as soon as it was made legal. He'll hate it and he'll be angry at us, and I really don't want that. Please, for the sake of family relations, please tell me that we can sit down with your mama and daddy and have a calm, polite conversation about our decision. It's the adult thing to do, it's the right thing to do and it's the only thing I want to do". Frustrated, annoyed and borderline angry, Sue Ellen glared at her husband as she spoke; she didn't want to fight, but she needed him to hear and listen to what she was saying, because she had things to say and she wouldn't be ignored any longer. Seeing him staring back at her, looking shocked, but attentive, she knew that she had his attention now and she hoped that what she had to say would finally begin to get through to him.

To be continued…


	369. Reassurance

**Dallas, Texas**

Entering the tack room in the Southfork stables, Bobby Ewing felt confused and conflicted; something was definitely going on behind the scenes, but he wasn't quite sure what that something was, and that made him feel uneasy. As far as he could tell, either Ray had lied to his father about how understaffed the ranch was, or his father hadn't been completely honest with him earlier in the week, because from what he'd experienced during the past couple of days, Southfork ranch had the perfect number of ranch hands for the work required. It didn't make much sense to him why either of those possibilities would occur though, because Ray was an honest, hardworking man who was completely at ease with directing his workers to do what needed to be done, and it seemed unlike his father to exaggerate or completely fabricate an issue. There had to be some bigger reason for why he had been asked to help out on the ranch though, because it was an unusual request and it couldn't have been completely random, there had to have been some thought and discussion that went into that request. Thoroughly confused by the whole situation, he made a mental note to mention his day's activities and observations to his father that evening at family cocktails or dinner. He knew that it was best to clarify things he was unsure about before he got too involved and since he was leaving town on Ewing Oil business in a couple of days, it was best to ask sooner rather than later. Hanging up his equipment and saying goodbye to the rest of the ranch hands, he then left the stables and began his ascent back up to the house.

Across town, JR Ewing locked his office door, said a few words to his father and then left the office, sharing the elevator and walking into the parking lot with both Julie and Diane. Feeling a little nervous, but also happy and secure, his mood was unreadable to the two secretaries, but since he had and wanted nothing but a professional relationship with each of them, neither said anything to dig deeper into why he was acting so strangely. Saying their goodbyes as they separated to find their respective cars, JR breathed a sigh of relief and then grinned to himself as soon as he was alone. Although he was nervous and a little worried about how his father would react when he and Sue Ellen made their announcement, his meeting with Brooks Oliver earlier in the day had allowed him to feel a little more confident and secure now than he had been earlier in the week. He had been assured that even if his father was upset and angered by the news and attempted to retaliate and punish him by changing things at Ewing Oil, those changes would only be a temporary consequence. As far as the law was concerned, he was the successor to the Ewing Oil company and nothing but a new or renegotiated and dually signed contract could change that. Of course, temporary wasn't a fixed amount of time and there was a lot that Jock could do in the meantime, however, JR was prepared to deal with having Bobby more involved in the business for a small amount of time if necessary. If Bobby's absence from the office today was any indication of his father's plan for him though, JR had a feeling that his youngest brother was slowly becoming less and less of a business threat anyway. Driving out of the parking lot, his thoughts changed direction, moving away from the immediate consequences awaiting him and toward the benefits of his and Sue Ellen's decision. Having their own home could only mean good things for them and their family and he couldn't wait for their future together.

Sitting in the nursery, Sue Ellen smiled to herself as she watched John Ross giggle as Lucy played peekaboo with him; it was lovely to see the two cousins interacting and it was wonderful to know that her son was happy, healthy and thriving. John Ross' happiness wasn't the only reason for her happiness though; earlier in the day, after meeting with his lawyer, JR had called her to tell her that he was now much more confident about his rights and his father's responsibilities and that he was now open to telling his parents their news. Additionally, after returning from riding her horse around the ranch earlier, she'd happened upon some interesting and possibly very exciting information regarding their new home and she couldn't wait to share her news with JR when he returned home. In her mind, everything seemed to be pointing toward a positive future, they just had a few small issues to get past before they were on the road to eternal happiness, but with JR's confidence and her absolute surety that moving into their own home was the best choice for them, she really did feel good, happy and optimistic.

An hour later, standing in the living room together, drinking cocktails and listening to Bobby tell a story about his day out on the ranch with Ray and the boys, Sue Ellen smirked to herself. JR had had his doubts about his father's intentions for Bobby, however, she never had, and although it was petty, it felt good to win a small argument like that. Observing his wife, JR couldn't help but find her expression amusing; sure, he'd been wrong, and he hated being wrong, but if he was going to be wrong, then this was the sort of thing he wanted to be wrong about. It was only a good thing to see that his father was on the same page when it came to the future of Ewing owned companies; it boosted his confidence about his role in Ewing Oil in the near and distant future and it gave him hope that one day, things would and could be better between he and Bobby. He didn't dislike his brother on a personal level, he just highly disliked having to share things that were rightfully his, namely, Ewing Oil and on a more abstract level, their father's attention and praise. However, he had a feeling that if Bobby could concern himself with making a real success of Southfork ranch instead of Ewing Oil, their relationship would grow in ways that weren't possible right now. Separating their business and personal lives was a good idea and one he intended to make sure happened.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thank you for all of the recent reviews :) ****To reviewer Alexia, what a sweet, funny thought :)**


	370. New Home?

**Dallas, Texas**

"…it's ideal. We want to live in Braddock County and we want a large property, but we don't want to have to run our own ranch or shut down whatever ranch business is currently operating; we want to live close to Southfork, but not on Southfork; and we want a home large enough to accommodate our possible future family. Granted, I've never been inside the house or onto the land, I've only seen it from afar, but in general, it seems like the perfect solution. There's no way your daddy can object to us just moving a few miles down the street, especially since the two sections are right next to each other . Your mama said that she doesn't know who owns it now, but that it's definitely no one in the Wade family and as far as she's aware, whoever does own it has no real plans to do anything with it, because apart from the occasional hay baling, it's been sitting vacant for at least seven or eight years now. It makes sense why Mr Wilson wouldn't have suggested it to us though, because it's not currently for sale, so naturally, it doesn't show up in the list of available properties. If what your mama said is true though, I was thinking that perhaps the current owner would be willing to sell it… to us. Obviously I didn't say anything to your mama and I haven't done anything more with the information I know, because I wanted to speak to you first to see what you thought about the overall idea. I did a lot of thinking today though, and I still firmly believe that before we even make any further enquiries about available properties in Braddock County, we really need to tell your mama and daddy about our plan to move. All of this thinking happened this morning though, before you called me to tell me what your lawyer said, so I suppose I really don't need to reiterate my feelings…" realising that she had just thrown a lot of information at him all at once and was beginning to ramble, Sue Ellen trailed off into silence. Hoping that JR didn't find her idea completely ridiculous, she looked at him with wide eyes and waited for a response.

As he listened to his wife marvelling at her new discovery, one that was hidden-in-plain-sight and really was a good idea, provided that they could track down the owner and negotiate a deal, JR couldn't help but smirk to himself at the secondary benefit of moving into the old Wade ranch house; it would certainly annoy Bobby. It was obvious from Sue Ellen's earlier explanation about her conversation with his mother that she knew some of the history of the neighbouring ranch; however, it was also obvious that she was unaware of the significance of the Wade family to certain members of the Ewing family. His father and Lucas Wade had been friends and neighbours for decades, but the relationship that connected the two families more than the two patriarchs was the relationship between their children. Jenna Wade and Bobby Ewing had been friends since they were young children and as they'd grown older together, their relationship had matured into something much deeper than friendship. They had been engaged, but for reasons JR wasn't privy to, Jenna had abruptly upped and left Dallas one day, leaving Bobby heartbroken and confused and taking with her a huge secret. Prior to the breakup of Bobby and Jenna's relationship though, there had been an even bigger event; at just fifty-five years of age, Lucas Wade had died suddenly, leaving behind his young, unprepared daughter and a vast collection of unpaid bills and judgements. JR had been too involved in his own personal life and his work at Ewing Oil to really pay attention to who had purchased the Wade family assets, the biggest being the vast estate located adjacent to Southfork, however, he was much more focused now, so he was sure that he could easily find out that information. Considering it himself, Sue Ellen's idea made a lot of sense and since she appeared to be very passionate about it, he had a good feeling about the situation too. They had agreed a long time ago that this was the right decision for them, so if she wanted to arrange a viewing and potentially make an offer to buy the former Wade ranch, then he was completely on board with that idea, provided that the house and land met all of their requirements of course.

"The Wade ranch…" thoroughly amused by the thought of how ironic it would be for he and Sue Ellen to end up owning and living in a home that held more memories for Bobby than it did for either of them, JR then grinned at his wife and stepped closer to her, resting his arms on her shoulders. "I'll make a few calls and find out who currently owns that land; it shouldn't be too difficult, property sales and purchases are public records. Once we know that information, then we'll be in a better position to negotiate; that's when we'll introduce Mr Wilson to this knowledge; he can do all of the pre-sale checks and write up the contracts, but prior to that, I want to know who or what I'm dealing with. Before any of that though, you're right, we do need to talk to mama and daddy, I understand that now, so that's exactly what we'll do. I want this, I want us to have our own home and have time to spend together as our own family, so whatever it takes to make that happen, I'll do it. Daddy may not react positively to the news at first, but I'm sure that as he comes to terms with what is really only a slight change in physical distance and time spent together, he'll come around, and eventually, he'll be happy for us. I know everything will work out in the end, I'll make sure it does". Giving her the best answer he could think of in the moment and seeing her overjoyed reaction to his words, he then leaned down and kissed her. Their kisses always managed to convey how they felt, often much more strongly than their words could, and right now, they both knew exactly how the other felt: happy, optimistic and in love.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: No chapter tomorrow. Thanks for reading :)**


	371. Contentment

**Midland, Texas**

Pouring himself a drink and sitting down in one of the armchairs in his hotel room, Bobby Ewing opened the folder of information his father had given him to prepare him for his business meeting tomorrow morning. From the bullet points and summaries listed, it appeared that there would be no dishonesty or sneaky behaviour required for this particular connection, and for that, he was very grateful. He truly did enjoy the friendly, sociable and good-natured part of his job as the Ewing Oil goodwill ambassador and he was happy to perform the necessary duties for as long as his father wished him to do that job, but if he could maximise those interactions and minimise the negative, upsetting ones, then he would enjoy it even more. Fortunately for him, although his father had been angry and annoyed at him after his outburst a few weeks ago, he also appeared to have listened to what he'd said and acted on it, because since then, his duties had been mainly positive and his father had even begun to introduce him to his future career plan.

After politely questioning why his father had asked him to help Ray and the ranch hands when they seemed to be clearly capable of doing the work without him, he'd finally become privy to what his father had meant when he said he had said he had a plan for him, and he hadn't been disappointed with the answer. His father knew him very well, possibly better than he wished to admit, because in knowing him, he knew what his strengths were, but also knew what his weaknesses were. He may have been Jock Ewing's favourite son and he may have been given many opportunities and chances, but those opportunities and chances didn't automatically make him a natural oilman. The truth was, Bobby Ewing was a people-person, he knew how to endear people to him and how to make sure things went the way he wished, but when faced with work that required little to no human interaction and mostly technical geographical, mathematical and financial information, he wasn't nearly as talented. He was aware of his strengths and weaknesses, even if he sometimes tried to pretend that he didn't have the weaknesses that JR and his father clearly identified within him. Hearing his father explain his plan for his future though, he had come to realise that he wasn't angry or upset with him for not grasping the technical side of the oil business the way JR did; he was accepting of the facts and was adaptable. His father had trialled him in various areas of Ewing Oil before settling on the job he had now, one that was based on his strengths, and to go with that, he was also planning his future based on his strengths; it was a good thing and he was very grateful to have such opportunities available to him.

The idea of working for both Ewing Oil and Southfork ranch was very appealing, because from the way his father described it, it really was the best of both worlds. He would travel and promote Ewing Oil as much as necessary, but instead of spending his days in Dallas at the office doing what was essentially just busywork, he would instead use his time in Dallas to learn the skills necessary for his future as owner and operator of the Southfork ranch business. He didn't know everything about ranching, just as he didn't know everything about oil, but if he could learn about both and keep a foot in the door at both businesses, then he really saw no problem with that and was very happy about it. He liked ranching, he liked being outside and doing physical work and he liked the camaraderie between the ranch hands; he also liked the social connections he made when he travelled on Ewing Oil business though and if he could do both, then he had no complaints. As long as his father was thinking of him and wasn't purposely excluding him from inheriting something of importance like JR was, then he was happy. All he really wanted was for his father to love him and treat him well, because he'd witnessed occasions where Gary or JR weren't treated well or fairly and he'd experienced a small amount of his father's anger and upset and he had no desire to ever feel that way again.

From the way his father had described his plan for his future, he was now convinced that it really was the best decision, because realistically, he and JR never would have been able to work together completely harmoniously if they were competing for Ewing Oil and Jock's attention; they were just too different, in both skills and personality. They could get along relatively easily in their personal lives when Ewing Oil and business deals weren't the topic of conversation, but when they were, things just weren't very good between them. Knowing that, he was sure that this was the best plan; he would continue working for Ewing Oil over the next few years as the Ewing Oil goodwill ambassador and the rest of his time would be spent on the ranch, learning everything he needed to know in order to one day own and operate it himself. In the meantime though, Jock would be supervising both of his sons in their jobs and even after retirement, he had no plans to completely separate himself from the businesses; he would hand over power and control to his sons, but he would remain involved, just in a slightly diminished capacity.

As a part of the agreement Jock had with each of his sons, there was a guarantee that Ewing owned companies would always remain that way, and even if he was retired, he saw no reason to stop working altogether. No, he would help his sons where necessary and hopefully, he would live long enough to see John Ross and his other future grandsons following in the set Ewing path. The Ewing businesses had been multi-generational for decades and if Jock had his way, like he was setting it up to be, they would remain that way forevermore.

Taking a drink, Bobby let out a small sigh of relief; things were beginning to fall into place and finally, he truly felt that everything was going to be just fine.

To be continued…


	372. Announcement

**Dallas, Texas**

"Move out? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Ewings live at Southfork, this is our family home and it has been for generations. Why would you change that? What's wrong with the life you live here?" interrupting JR almost as soon as he began to speak, Jock didn't even give his eldest son time to explain himself before bursting in with his own questions and opinions. He'd been so sure that he had everything under control again after a rough few months at Ewing Oil and at Southfork, but all of a sudden, after hearing JR's news, he wasn't so sure anymore. Glancing over at his wife to gauge her reaction, his anger began to grow; not only did she look shocked, she also looked upset, and after worrying about the state of the family and each individual's happiness for months, this was the last thing she needed to be hearing. "Well boy, what do you have to say for yourself? What is wrong with this house? What has this family done to you to make you act this way? You had better have a good explanation, because your mama is upset and I'm… well, I'll spare the ladies from hearing exactly how I feel, but it's not good. So, please, explain…" Although he had been the one to interrupt JR before he could explain, Jock somehow still managed to turn the situation into one where it looked like JR had intentionally set out to upset and anger his family. Luckily for JR though, he'd had a long time to consider all angles of his and Sue Ellen's decision and had answers to all of his father's questions; he really just needed his father to be quiet long enough for him to actually explain.

Looking over at Miss Ellie as JR and Jock spoke to each other, Sue Ellen suddenly felt awful. She and JR had tried to plan and arrange things in the least disruptive and upsetting way and she was sure that Jock, Miss Ellie and the rest of the family would come around to agreeing with their plan once they understood all of the information, but knowing and hoping those things didn't make her feel any better right now. "Miss Ellie…" in an attempt to explain things, Sue Ellen spoke in a soft, sympathetic tone and looked at her mother-in-law, though when Miss Ellie looked her in the eye, she found herself lost for words. She and JR had never intended to upset anyone with their news and now that she saw that Miss Ellie was, she really felt terrible about the conversation they were about to have. Speechless and confused, she was pleased when JR interrupted their discussion and began to offer their side of the story.

Swallowing his annoyance at the way his father had interrupted him and asked him questions that he would have had answered if he had just allowed him to speak in the first place, JR paused for a moment as his wife spoke and then picked up from where she had left off. "I'm sorry mama, it wasn't our intention to hurt you; or you daddy, we never intended for this news to anger you. I'll explain everything, but please, listen to what I have to say before responding. Sue Ellen and I have done a lot of thinking about this, it wasn't a hasty decision and I think that what we've figured out will be beneficial to everyone, not harmful". Looking at his mother and then at his father, he paused for a moment and waited for a nod or murmur from either of them to tell him to continue.

Feeling Sue Ellen's hand in his and hearing no argument from his father, he then continued. "Daddy, to answer your questions, we don't have a problem with our lives here at Southfork and we completely respect that Southfork is the Ewing family home, however, Sue Ellen and I have also had a lot of conversations about our small family and how we need a little space and privacy. I think we can all agree that things here at Southfork can get a little tense sometimes, mostly due to business disagreements or issues, and I don't know about you, but as much as I love Ewing Oil, sometimes I just want to be able to have a meal without thinking about work or other issues. As well as that, in our personal lives, as Sue Ellen and I are working to improve our marriage, it's become clear that we need our own space to relax and have fun, and when we're here, in the house with everyone else, that becomes a lot more difficult. I know Lucy and Bobby don't particularly enjoy seeing Sue Ellen and I expressing any kind of affection for each other and I'm sure you and mama can completely understand how awkward and frustrating it can be at times when you have to censor your behaviour like that". Pausing for a moment as he attempted to explain their decision in an open, honest and relatable manner, he then continued.

"Don't get me wrong, we're not just doing this for silly, selfish reasons, we've thought long and hard about it and have decided that it really is the best decision for our family. Think about it this way, Southfork land has been in mama's family for generations, but you built this specific house, for your wife and your family; all we want is the same opportunity for our family, we just want our own space, in no way does that mean we want to separate from the larger Ewing family though. If you'll have us, we still plan to attend family dinners a few times a week and we definitely want John Ross to have as much family interaction as possible, but we also know that we need our own space. As I said though, we've done a lot of thinking about the situation and we think we've come up with a good solution to the problem, one that benefits everyone. Moving out of Southfork doesn't mean moving far away from the family, in fact, if all goes to plan, we'll just be a couple of miles down the road, and if you don't want to drive, you can always ride over. We're seriously considering purchasing the old Wade ranch…" Announcing their plan, but holding back on fully explaining the details until he could see what their initial reaction was, he then squeezed Sue Ellen's hand and looked at his parents.

To be continued…


	373. Power and Control

**Dallas, Texas**

"The Wade ranch?" unable to hide the surprise and possible happiness at the location of JR and Sue Ellen's intended future home, Jock looked at his son and daughter-in-law and motioned his hand to tell JR to keep speaking. He didn't really like the idea of them leaving, but if it was going to happen and he had no say in the matter, then the Wade ranch wasn't the worst location they could have chosen and if he played his cards right, JR's statement about it being a beneficial decision for everyone involved would be a completely truthful one. Before he allowed his ideas and plans for the expansion of Ewing land to really come together though, he wanted to know all the details.

Truthfully, although he was still angry with JR for even suggesting that he and his family move into their own home, after hearing his argument and reasoning, he actually understood and agreed with him on a few issues. JR wasn't wrong about the amount of privacy and public intimacy that occurred when a married couple were alone compared to when they were surrounded by other people and although he'd grown used to it, he couldn't deny that living in a house with six other people did get tiresome and frustrating at times. In addition to the privacy angle, he couldn't deny that living and working together didn't always equate to a harmonious existence. It was almost guaranteed that if there was trouble at Ewing Oil, then the atmosphere at Southfork wouldn't be pleasant and if there were personal issues between the men in the family, things at Ewing Oil often became tense.

There were a number of reasons why he didn't like the idea of separating the family, but they all came back to one main theme: power. He didn't want to lose control of the family, they were Ewings and he wanted that to mean something more than just being wealthy, he wanted it to relate to their closeness and familial bond. He liked the family to be together, it made him happy and proud, it pleased his wife and it gave them a good name in Dallas society. Because of his wish to remain a powerful family though, he had a lot of hesitations about showing any enthusiasm or agreement for JR's idea, because to him, their actions seemed as if they would set a bad precedent for future behaviour and actions. If JR, Sue Ellen and John Ross moved out, what was stopping Bobby and eventually Lucy from moving out?

Losing Gary had almost broken his wife, but he'd managed to salvage things, however, if her facial expression was anything to go by, she was remembering that whole situation again and deeply feared that those feelings of loss and abandonment were about to return. JR was neither his nor Ellie's favourite son, but that didn't mean he wasn't a valued member of the Ewing family or that they wished for him to leave the family home, because they didn't, especially since he had a wife and child now. To Jock, although he and Sue Ellen had never been very close, he couldn't say that he didn't find her a pleasant and pleasing young woman and didn't think she was an excellent wife to his son and mother to his grandson. Additionally, he knew that she and his wife had formed a strong bond, as both friends and family members, and his wife had formed a very strong bond with their first-born grandson, John Ross Ewing III. He knew that he probably didn't spend as much time with his grandson as he probably should, but in no way did that mean he wouldn't be sad to see him leave Southfork. Honestly, his lack of quality interaction with his grandson had more to do with his own lack of knowledge than it did with any lack of love, because he absolutely adored his grandson, he just didn't really know how to play with babies. He was a traditional man and with his own sons and first granddaughter, his wife had done most of the childrearing when they were babies, and he had really only become properly involved when they were children, children that were capable of doing activities that he enjoyed and saw a lot of value in. He couldn't wait to take John Ross to the office or out hunting, but that experience wouldn't be for a few years yet, so for now, he was stuck in an awkward place where he had a lot of feelings for his grandson, but no real understanding of how to show him how much he loved him. Considering his personal relationship with JR, Sue Ellen and John Ross and the impact their leaving Southfork would have on the Ewing family's power, his own personal power and their relationship in general, he then mentally filed those thoughts away, because from the look on JR's face, he was about to get more answers.

"Yes daddy, the old Wade ranch. As I said earlier, we're not trying to alienate ourselves from the family or hurt anyone, we just need and want a little space of our own. We want to be close to the family and the ranch and we want John Ross to be able to experience everything Southfork has to offer, we just don't want those things to overtake or overpower the importance of our own family. After considering a number of possibilities for our new home, we decided that right here in Braddock County is where we want to live, and seeing as most homes around here are either too suburban or come with a working ranch as part of the sale, the Wade ranch seemed like a good choice. We haven't actually made any official moves toward inspecting or purchasing the home and land, but as far as we're concerned, the old Wade ranch is in the ideal location, it's the ideal size and since no one is currently using the land for anything productive, we won't have to lay any workers off if and when we purchase it. We wanted to tell you and mama our plans before we went ahead and made any moves though, because we do want your blessing and support for our decision; we don't want it to be something that divides us or negatively impacts our relationship. This really is a decision that we spent a lot of time thinking about and we really do believe that it will be best for our family and the whole Ewing family. We won't be strangers here, we'll still be present at the ranch if you'll have us, but a little bit of time and space alone isn't a bad thing. Please, try to see things from our perspective for a moment. I'll explain anything else you want to know, but our main motivations really are that simple; we need and want space and if you look at the situation unbiasedly, it's not a crazy decision to come to". Hoping that he sounded sincere, because he was trying hard to and he was being honest in what he was saying, JR looked his father in the eye as he spoke and then waited for his response.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: No chapter tomorrow. Thanks for all of the recent reviews :)**


	374. Heartfelt

**Dallas, Texas**

Upon hearing JR and Sue Ellen's intention to purchase the property located right next to Southfork land, Jock's business mind had automatically begun to consider how he could spin that decision into something beneficial for the entire Ewing family. However, hearing JR express his and Sue Ellen's desire to purchase a property that was not currently being used as a working ranch, his mood changed again; perhaps his proposition wouldn't go down so easily after all. He had been considering expanding Southfork ranch for years, because although it was already large, it could always be larger, just like Ewing Oil was big, but the end-goal was to grow it into the biggest independent oil company in Texas. Because of various events though, mostly those related to the lack of neighbouring land for sale, he hadn't made any moves toward expanding the ranch operations just yet, however, with the possibility of a Ewing now owning the old Wade ranch land, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to make a deal. Unfortunately, from what he knew about JR and the tone he'd spoken in when explaining his and Sue Ellen's desire to purchase property that had no ranching operations attached to it, he knew that if he was going to negotiate partial use or ownership of the adjacent land, he would have to be careful about how he worded his proposal.

It appeared that the conversation they were having right now was one borne out of courtesy rather than because his son and daughter-in-law were asking permission to make their move. Because of that, he knew that his protests against their decision would most likely fall on deaf ears, because they had made their decision and nothing could really stop them now. Whether he liked it or not, they were adults and they were more than allowed to, willing to and capable of making their own decisions, so if he wanted it to end in any positive manner for both sides, then he needed to start accepting their decision and working with what he had. Thinking about the overall situation, he knew that he needed to make his idea sound like he was doing them a favour, not that he was negotiating the terms and conditions that they were required to live their lives by, because they were well past the point in their relationship where he could play authoritative father or wealthy banker.

As he silently considered how to respond to JR's explanation, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his wife's voice. "How often will you visit?" from the soft, sad tone of voice, it was obvious that even with JR and Sue Ellen's explanation of their motivations, his wife still wasn't very pleased about the news, though knowing her as he did, he knew that her reasons for not liking their news differed greatly from his. While he loved the atmosphere that came from the whole family being together, he also hugely enjoyed the power and reputation that came from being part of such a close-knit family, however, for his wife, being surrounded by family, especially her grandchildren was enough of a reason for her to love and not want to change their living arrangements.

"Oh Miss Ellie, like JR said, we wouldn't be strangers. I love being here at the ranch and I know John Ross does too, so I promise, we will be here during the day almost as much as we already are. JR and I also discussed family dinners and weekends and decided that if we're welcome to, we'd still like to attend a few dinners each week and we would still come over to spend time with the family. This really is just a physical move; we need our own private space and a little bit of freedom to choose how we arrange our schedules; that doesn't mean that we never intend to spend time here at Southfork or want to remove ourselves from the Ewing family though, because that's not our intention at all. If our plan to purchase the old Wade ranch pans out, then we'll just be a few miles down the road; it's just enough physical distance to satisfy our needs, but it's not far enough that we would really be disrupting the flow of the family dynamic. We thought long and hard about this decision and this is what we have concluded; for the sake of our marriage, we need our own space; for the sake of better family relations, a home of our own is a good idea; and because as luxurious as some of the homes in the suburbs are, they're not what we want. We've chosen to stay in Braddock County and we're hoping to purchase the old Wade ranch because this area is where we want to be, this area is home. I promise, this really will be a good thing for the family; a little space will do us good, because I know how much it bothers you when there's tension in the air; if we can eliminate those situations and only participate in good, happy ones, then the overall atmosphere will be a better, more positive one".

Although Miss Ellie's question had been directed more at JR than her, because up until now, he had been the one doing most of the talking, Sue Ellen felt the need to answer. As a Ewing wife and mother, she spent more time with Miss Ellie than JR or Jock did and she knew that in doing that, her mother-in-law had become quite attached to both she and John Ross, just as she had grown to love the relationship she had with her mother-in-law and John Ross had with his grandmother. Because of their relationship, she felt responsible for making sure that Miss Ellie understood that they weren't deliberately trying to hurt her with their news and that it wasn't a decision they'd made in haste, because she really didn't want to hurt or upset her, and if possible, she would really like her support and continued friendship. Waiting and watching as Miss Ellie considered her words, she hoped that her message had come across correctly. She liked being a Ewing and her and JR had no plans to completely stop being part of the Ewing family, they really were just making moves toward having their own space for their smaller family, but it wasn't meant as an insult toward the larger Ewing family.

To be continued…


	375. Forsaken

**Dallas, Texas**

"I do have to warn you, from the information available, it appears that no one has been inside the house for years, so the cleanliness and general state of the home probably isn't exactly on the same level as the previous homes you've looked at. I'm not trying to put you off purchasing the property, especially not before you've even seen it, I just wanted to make sure you understand what you're likely to be walking into". Standing outside on the Southfork driveway as she and JR met with Mr Wilson prior to their scheduled viewing of their potential new home, Sue Ellen's stomach dropped. She and JR had put so much time and effort into researching, deciding, pursuing and convincing everyone that the old Wade ranch was the perfect property for them; however, most of their words had been based on their fantasy ideas, not complete, honest reality. Without having viewed the properly themselves, JR's memories and Sue Ellen's few glimpses of the ranch from when she rode her horse around the outer edges of Southfork land weren't exactly reliable or valid sources for the information, so hearing Mr Wilson's words, she began to worry about disappointment and what their future held. Of course, factually, their opinion and argument about why it was the perfect property for them wasn't a wrong one, because after getting a reluctant handshake of support from Jock and a shaky, but heartfelt blessing from Miss Ellie, JR had quickly moved forward with gathering relevant information from the Braddock County Assessor. Both she and JR were well aware though that although everything could look good on paper and could sound good in their heads, no amount of property statistics, tax and ownership files or old memories could surpass the importance of actually viewing and inspecting the property as it was now.

"Of course", nodding, she politely and quietly responded to Mr Wilson before looking over at JR. Her husband didn't appear to be too surprised or bothered by their real estate agent's words and she hoped that was because he had some deeper understanding of construction and property than she did, not just because he wasn't bothered by the possibility that their ideal home may not be so ideal after all. They had discussed the possibility of the home not being structurally sound and had agreed that if completely necessary, if the land felt right, they could demolish and build their own home on the property, however, optimistically, they were hoping that the home was in a relatively good condition, because building a home was a much longer process than purchasing. Ideally, they wanted to be able to move into their new home before the end of the year, but with Thanksgiving and Christmas fast approaching, she knew that if they didn't find a home soon, their plans would inevitably slow down as the busy holiday season began. Hearing Mr Wilson's warning didn't make her feel very optimistic that that plan was one that would actually come to fruition, however, if being completely satisfied with their dream home before moving in meant that they needed to wait for necessary renovations, structural reinforcement, redecoration or a complete rebuild, then she was willing to wait. Her impatience was just that, impatience; there was no real reason to rush things through; ideally though, the less amount of work a property needed doing to it before they moved in, the better, so she hoped that Mr Wilson's warning was an exaggeration, not a description of reality.

Looking out the window as they drove down the long driveway, passing underneath the now overgrown trees, JR's thoughts moved back in time. Location-wise, the old Wade ranch was very close to where he spent a lot of time, at home, with his family, however, it had been many years since he'd given any thought to the property and probably even longer since he'd physically set foot on the land adjacent to Southfork. He and Jenna had never been close the way Bobby and Jenna were, but he had always liked her and as the Ewing and Wade families had been friends, he had attended many social events at the neighbouring ranch, so it was strange being back here now, under very different circumstances. The property hadn't been owned by the Wade family for years, but since it had been purchased in an estate auction by a property investment group, one who had purchased it purely because of the speculated future growth of Dallas and surrounding areas, none of the Ewings had ever moved on from thinking of it as the old Wade ranch. Despite Mr Wilson's warnings, the personal history the property held, and his own personal understanding of property neglect, he still had a good feeling about the old Wade ranch. He and Sue Ellen had discussed it at length and he knew that although she would probably be shocked by the state of a building that was essentially abandoned, it wasn't all bad; he was JR Ewing, he could make things happen and he could make them happen quickly, and whatever his wife wanted, she would get.

An hour later, Sue Ellen felt shocked, confused, angry, happy and hopeful, all at the same time. Sitting in the Southfork living room with Miss Ellie as they watched John Ross happily crinkling and patting his textured book and stacking his coloured rings, she gave her mother-in-law a quick explanation of the state of the old Wade ranch before promptly inserting her opinion about the home. "It's terrible. I don't could anyone purchase such a lovely property and then just allow the home on that property to just sit empty and deteriorate. The architectural details in the house are beautiful, but unfortunately, at best, they're covered by a thick layer of dust and at worst, they're either broken or rotting away. Almost a decade of Texas storms followed by a lack of general maintenance or even just human presence has been disastrous for that home…" Shaking her head as she remembered everything and relayed her thoughts, she sighed to herself; she really did love the home, but it certainly wasn't what she had expected and she really had no idea what her and JR's next move was. She didn't want to have to wait months to build a new home, but from the state of the current home on the neighbouring property, it was clear that there was no way a quick redecoration would suffice.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: No chapter tomorrow. Thanks for all of the recent reviews :)**


	376. Opportunities

**Dallas, Texas**

"No lies, no exaggerations, just give it to me straight. Timewise, moneywise, structurally and considering our long-term goals, is it worth renovating, or do we cut our losses, demolish the entire building and then start again from scratch?" speaking calmly and seriously as he questioned the man sitting in his office, JR felt both powerful and a little nervous as he waited for his answer. Earlier in the week, he had personally hired one of Ewing Oil's best civil engineers and one of their best geologists to do a complete assessment of the old Wade ranch and just that morning, he'd received the news he was looking for. However, he couldn't relax just yet because he was still awaiting the opinion of the building contractor and before he and Sue Ellen moved forward with anything, they still had to purchase the property, though the actual purchase was the least of his worries. From meeting with the geologist, he was pleased to hear that although the land was not oil-rich, it was suitable for agriculture and residential development, and from meeting with the civil engineer, he was pleased to hear that while the building structure was weather damaged and in need of a good cleaning and renovation, it wasn't a complete write off. He wanted to make an educated and well-rounded decision though, so he'd hired a building contractor to give him an honest assessment of the situation from a more hands-on perspective, because although he'd been assured by experts that the house could be repaired and restored, that didn't mean that it was the best decision.

He knew that Sue Ellen wanted to progress their plans quickly, so building a new home was probably not ideal, because even with a heavy financial incentive, it would still be months before they had a home of their own to live in. However, if it was going to take months and cost an equally large amount of money to completely reinforce and renovate the current house, then that also wasn't ideal and probably wasn't economically smart. Waiting patiently for Mr Moore, the building contractor, to answer his questions, he considered both possibilities and once again confirmed in his mind that he would be happy with whichever one was recommended to him as the best option, because ultimately, the actual physical home that he, Sue Ellen and John Ross lived in held little importance to him. He wanted Sue Ellen and John Ross to be happy; he wanted them to have their own private space and he wanted a home that showed his importance and wealth, but whether that home was one they restored to its former glory or whether it was one they hired an architect and building company to build for them was irrelevant. As long as he made a good economic and emotional decision, he was happy and he was sure everyone else would be satisfied too. Hearing Mr Moore clear his throat and then looking down at the piece of paper he'd handed to him, he knew that their meeting would provide him with the answers he'd been looking for.

"Sue Ellen?" gathering her and John Ross' things after their weekly Wednesday mother and baby playgroup, Sue Ellen was surprised to hear her name being called. She and John Ross had been attending the weekly sessions for almost a month now and although they always had fun and never had a problem socialising or fitting into the group as a whole, she still hadn't quite made the personal one-on-one connections she had initially hoped to, so hearing her name being called was a little unexpected. Turning around as she heard the voice, she found herself face-to-face with Kathy and her son Adam, two of the groups more socially connected members. "Will you and John Ross be joining us? We'd love for you to come. We usually head down to the diner down the street for coffee; it's very relaxed and unstructured, it's not meant to be a formal meeting or anything; it's really just an opportunity for us moms to get to know each other and take a break from the regular routine of life for a little while. Does that sound like something you'd be interested in?" speaking again in a warm, friendly manner, Kathy waited expectantly for Sue Ellen's answer.

Hearing the invitation to be included in an activity intended for a smaller subset group of moms, Sue Ellen was taken aback, though she couldn't say she wasn't thrilled to be offered the opportunity. After a few weeks of attempting to socialise and make new friends, it appeared that one of the more 'popular' moms was finally noticing her, and although it felt like she was back in high school again, though this time on a different level of the social pyramid, she knew that this was different and probably better. Unlike high school, the invitation to join a social group had been extended to her in a pure, honest way, without any judgement of her different socioeconomic circumstances to the rest of the suburban housewives in the group, and even if it didn't go well and she didn't make any new friends, there was no harm in at least trying. She'd joined the mother and baby group for John Ross' development, but equally, she'd joined for her own development and now that she was being presented with the opportunity to expand her and John Ross' social group, it was time to start taking those opportunities and making things happen. "Yes, it sounds lovely; we'd love to come. Thank you for inviting us", not allowing her surprise to show, she responded in a cheerful, friendly manner, just as she had been taught and just as she wanted to appear; it wasn't hard to act that way though, because it really did sound wonderful and she was thrilled to be invited. The end of the year was nearing and as happy as she was right now, she was ready for a new year and her new life to begin. As long as JR was able to figure out their living situation, Doctor Williams was able to guide them into living a more consistently happy marriage and John Ross remained happy and healthy, she was sure that 1973 would be a wonderful year and their lives were on a good path.

To be continued…


	377. Optimism

**Dallas, Texas**

"…I think it's an excellent idea, and I'm very pleased to hear that it was a joint decision", nodding as he listened to JR and Sue Ellen explaining their plans for the future, Doctor Williams was impressed. While they still hadn't quite worked their way back to discussing the elephant in the room, JR's previous infidelity and the plan to prevent a repeat of that situation, they had clearly made a lot of progress in other areas of their marriage and it was really benefitting them. A lack of privacy hadn't been an issue that they had directly mentioned in their earlier sessions, however, it was obvious from a number of conversations he'd had with the couple that their living situation did them no favours when it came to alleviating stress and tension within their marriage. For any newly married couple, the first year of marriage was a huge learning experience and a chance to really get to know each other and figure out routines and ways to manage potential issues, however, as their living situation differed to normal newlyweds, their opportunities to learn how to live together in a marriage also differed. He didn't want to blame their living situation for all of their problems, because there were clearly more things that had gone into Sue Ellen's previous mental health issues, JR's repeated infidelity and their inability to communicate their wants and needs with each other, however, although living at Southfork wasn't the cause of their issues, it certainly hadn't helped them. When he'd heard that they had discussed their living situation and had decided to look for a home of their own, he'd been very supportive, though as they updated him on their progress, he'd grown concerned that they were on different pages with what they envisioned for their shared future. That had all changed last week though, because from the moment they'd stepped into his office, it had been obvious that something was very right; where the previous properties they had viewed hadn't given them the special feeling they were looking for, the land next to Southfork did, and they were excited and optimistic about it. A lot had happened in the days since his last meeting with them, but as far as he could tell, although their idealistic view had been crushed a little when they'd actually stepped into the home on their dream property, that disappointment hadn't lasted too long, because in true JR Ewing fashion, fixable problems didn't stay problems for very long. With their money, power and determination to restore the home to a state worthy of a wealthy family, he had no doubt that they would get what they wanted, because they had set their minds to it and JR was entitled enough to insist that things always went his way.

"I think that went quite well. Don't you?" leaving their appointment, Sue Ellen felt happy and optimistic. JR had done a lot of research and was sure that they would have no problem purchasing the property, and if they offered enough incentive to have the workers focus solely on their home, they could have the majority of the structural restoration done by mid-December. After that, it would simply be interior work that needed doing and seeing as she already had a fairly clear idea of what style she liked and wanted for their home, she was sure that with the right decorator and competent workers and provided that there weren't any unforeseen problems, they would be living in their new home by mid-January. She had initially been worried about the length of time between making their decision to move into a new home and actually doing it, however, as long as there was work being done to progress their idea, she didn't mind waiting a little while longer to actually move in. She and JR wanted their home to be safe and healthy to live in and comfortable and unique to them, and as much as they wanted it to be an instant change, it just wasn't; she wasn't concerned though; they would get what they wanted, it was just going to take a little longer than initially planned. It really helped her too that although they had initially appeared to dislike the idea, Jock and Miss Ellie were slowly beginning to see that it wasn't such a terrible thing and wasn't the end of the world. With her in-laws support and Doctor Williams' encouraging comments throughout the process, her confidence and surety about her and JR's decision to move was growing and she felt wonderful.

"Yes darlin'. It's nice to know that the good doctor supports our decision. Not that we needed his permission or I would have really listened to his objections if he'd told us to stay where we are, but still, an ally is always better than an enemy when it comes to things like these. I love a good fight and opportunity to exercise power and control, but not when it comes to matters involving our marriage. I know I made many mistakes in the past and I will probably make many more in the future, but if I can consciously try to avoid problems in our marriage, then I will. I think mama and daddy understand why we're doing what we're doing now, because there are reasons, valid ones; so it's up to us to do what's best for our family now and I'm sure that a little space from the rest of the family will benefit everyone. As much as Lucy loves you and John Ross, I'm sure she'll love not having to complain about our supposed noisiness or normal affection any longer; I'm sure Bobby feels the same way. As well as that, as happy as I am to hear that Bobby will be appearing less and less at the Ewing Oil offices in the future, I'm sure he'll still find something to complain about, so I'd rather not deal with that day in and day out. This will be good for us and I have no doubts about our decision". Stopping as they reached his car, he leaned down and kissed her softly before reaching behind her and opening her door. He was happy and in love, he had a son and a guaranteed legacy at Ewing Oil, his little brother's exit from the company was in the works and his and Sue Ellen's plans to create their own private space excited him. With such a secure and bright future, he truly was content and he had no problem making it known.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: No chapter tomorrow. I had a busy week last week and completely forgot to upload a couple of chapters, but this week is set to be much calmer, so I should have them back to the normal schedule soon. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	378. Predictable

**Dallas, Texas**

Putting his hand on his wife's shoulder in order to stop her pacing, JR then gently guided her to sit down on the edge of the bed. "Darlin', calm down. You know your mother, it's just who she is. There's no reason to stress yourself out about it. She doesn't control you anymore and I guarantee that if she comes here and starts trying to call the shots, she'll be put in her place very quickly. I think she understands her place though, because I made myself very clear the last time she was here and when we saw her in Austin a few months ago. She doesn't get to decide what she's entitled to, it's not her place and there is no point in attempting to guilt you into it, because you don't need her as much as she needs us and if she wants any privileges that come from being connected to us, then she has to respect that. She knows that I'm serious, but she also has years of experience when it comes to manipulating you and she knows how to get a reaction out of you. Don't let her; don't let her words and actions upset you. Yes, it's terrible that she demands things and sees us more as a bank and way to boost her own social value than she does as family for the sake of family, however, that's who she is and we need to accept that. She'll come for Thanksgiving, she'll behave and then she'll leave again until she returns at Christmas. I'm sure she'll make a few comments about not seeing John Ross enough, but she won't follow through on making a plan to see him more, but think about it, the last time she did try to move closer to us, you hated that idea. It's not right for a grandmother to miss out on so many opportunities to see her grandson, but in this context, it's also something that we don't mind. Your mother has the ability to bring out the worst in people and I don't want John Ross to be raised around such hostility; I'm happy for her to come and visit, but she has to do it on our terms and she knows that. Stop allowing her to make you feel bad, she's not worth it and she's not right. Relax, next week will be fine, I promise".

In their regular life together, everything was wonderful, but even as strong and changed as Sue Ellen was, a call from her mother still had the ability to get her all worked up, because for reasons that didn't make logical sense, Patricia Shepard still held some control over her daughter; she knew exactly how to manipulate her emotions and reactions. A phone call that should have been a simple confirmation of Thanksgiving plans had turned into a long discussion about the supposed ill treatment of a mother by her daughter. Despite the fact that they were paying for Kristin to get an excellent academic and social education and they hadn't once stopped Patricia from making a day trip to see them or John Ross, she had managed to twist the situation into one where she was the victim and JR and Sue Ellen were out to get her. From what Sue Ellen had described to him, it appeared that while she had tried to defend her position and stay calm, the whole conversation had quickly descended into a hostile disagreement about their past interactions and future relationship and by the end of the phone call, tensions were high and she was absolutely dreading her mother's Thanksgiving visit.

"I know, I know, we're in control and she knows that she must follow our guidelines when she visits here and I do trust that she will, because she's much more respectful when she's around your family. It's just, on the phone and even in person, she knows me well and whether it's a conscious decision to irritate me or it's just who she is, I don't know, but whatever it is, she knows exactly how to get to me and I hate it. You're right, I'm me, I'm my own person, not just her daughter; I'm not someone she can control and manipulate, but even when I fight back against her attempts to control and manipulate me, it always ends badly. She knows my thoughts and feelings about her involvement in our lives when her motives are purely selfish and not simply because she truly wants to spend time with us, but even then, she still continues to attempt to make me feel bad for not handing her everything just because she asks for it. She seems to think that just because she raised me to marry well, she's somehow entitled to benefit from our marriage. She doesn't seem to understand that, one, I didn't marry you because you're wealthy, I married you because I love you, and two, when I married you, I didn't vow to pay her anything; she plays no part in our marriage and I'm sick of her attempting to guilt me into thinking she does. She complains about not seeing John Ross enough, but she makes no effort to start with a small relationship before she moves her plans into something bigger. We dealt with all of this months ago when we visited her in Austin, before Kristin went away to school and I'm not interested in revisiting it, my thoughts and feelings haven't changed and clearly her motivations haven't changed either, so I really don't see the point in talking about it". Annoyed, frustrated and upset, Sue Ellen looked at JR as if she were looking for answers, though she really didn't know what answers she was looking for, because all she wanted was peace and happiness. She was sick of tension and disappointment and she saw no reason to keep rehashing the same scenarios. Apparently though, her mother felt differently.

"So don't. You don't owe her anything, you know that, I know that and she knows that. We'll pick her up at the airport next week, I'll have a little talk with her and you won't have to deal with her attitude or demands any longer. Everything is going to be fine. Trust me". Irritated with his mother-in-law for causing Sue Ellen so much stress and ruining their private evening time alone together, JR was determined to remind Patricia of her place and rights, because apparently, although he'd been clear during their last conversation, it appeared that he hadn't been clear enough. He and Sue Ellen were on a good path in their marriage and relationship; John Ross was thriving; Sue Ellen was finally starting to carve out a life of her own, separate from her pageant and societal titles; and overall, their life together was really shaping up to be a good one. Nothing would ruin that, especially not Patricia.

To be continued…


	379. Emotional Spectrum

**Dallas, Texas**

Watching as Teresa walked into the living room with the champagne and glasses he'd requested, JR squeezed his wife's hand and then loudly cleared his throat, and one by one, the family quietened down to listen to what he had to say. "Sue Ellen and I have some news to share", pausing for effect, he observed the family's facial expressions; his parents clearly knew what was coming and were apprehensively excited, but from the look on Bobby and Lucy's faces, it was clear that they had no idea what the news was. "Sue Ellen and I signed the papers this morning; the old Wade ranch is now the new Ewing property…" Grinning as he spoke, he was happy for reasons related not only to his family's future, but because just as expected, it appeared that the news had come as a complete shock to Bobby and although he wasn't a completely horrible person, he couldn't say he didn't somewhat enjoy throwing unexpected surprises at his youngest brother. Before he could consider anything any deeper than what he was observing, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his young, brash niece speaking to his wife; "that's it? The Ewings buy property all the time. I thought this was going to be exciting news, like a new baby or something". Hearing her words, he was both shocked and annoyed, though as he looked at Sue Ellen's face and then heard his father laughing, his annoyance began to disappear and turn into amusement. It appeared that Jock had seen Sue Ellen's reaction before he had and when Lucy's words were combined with Sue Ellen's shocked and flustered expression and her stuttered denial, the situation went from uncomfortable to humorous. They wanted and were planning to have more children, but as of right now, it wasn't a reality and it was absolutely nothing to do with their current news. Once again, Lucy and her big mouth had managed to edge in on their exciting news. It didn't stay that way for long though, because as Teresa poured the champagne and handed everyone a glass, everyone was reminded of the reason why they were celebrating and as soon as Miss Ellie made the first move to congratulate them on their purchase and wished them well in their future, the rest of the family soon followed. JR could tell though that when it came to Bobby and Lucy, there were still a lot of questions they needed to answer before they understood exactly what they were celebrating.

**Austin, Texas**

Thanking Mr Prescott and allowing him to give her a chaste kiss, Patricia then unlocked her front door and entered her house, alone. Letting out a loud sigh of relief as she heard his car door opening and closing, she then hurried upstairs to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Thankfully, she hadn't had to deal with Herbert Prescott's tongue in her mouth tonight, because if the smell of his breath was anything to go by, she would have had to exercise a lot of self-control and after an evening of acting, that may have tipped her over the edge. Brushing her teeth and then wiping her makeup off, she sighed to herself again, this time in a more resigned tone. Was this it for her? Had her life really come to a point where the only eligible wealthy men she could snag a date with were those who had been rejected by the younger money-hungry women of Texas? She'd always known that as women aged, the opportunities available to them shrunk, that's why she'd been so adamant that Sue Ellen marry well when she was young, however, in focusing so much on Sue Ellen and Kristin's futures, she'd neglected to really plan properly for her own, at least outside of piggybacking on her daughter's successes. Now, with Sue Ellen and JR refusing to support her as she had initially planned, or even to the same degree they had supported her in the past, and Kristin off at boarding school getting the social and academic education she deserved and would benefit her in the future, she was all on her own in Austin.

After getting over the initial shock of JR and Sue Ellen's serious visit to Austin a few months ago, one that had come with threats about what would happen to the limited benefits if her 'bad attitude' continued, she'd then thrown herself into shopping around for a husband worthy of her. It hadn't taken long for her initial enthusiasm to wear off though, because after just three dates with three different wealthy men, it had become clear to her that the situation she'd imagined and the reality of life were quite different. In a way, she empathised with Sue Ellen for all of the dates she'd forced her to go on, despite her insistence that she had absolutely no romantic or even platonic interest in them, because after arranging situations for herself similar to those she'd arranged for her daughter, she'd come away with a bad taste in her mouth, literally. She would never admit that she had been wrong about the way she had treated Sue Ellen though, it was just how she was, she hated to admit failure or weakness, so she didn't.

Washing and then patting dry her face, she sighed to herself again. She was in a bad position right now and as much as she liked to shift the blame for her problems onto other people, she couldn't deny that she'd played a large part in her current situation. If only she had thought out her life plan a little better; perhaps then she wouldn't have been in the situation she was in. Perhaps if she had chosen a better husband when she was a young woman, she could have had a completely different life. Perhaps if instead of automatically becoming defensive, she instead attempted to have an honest conversation with her eldest daughter about how she'd treated her, perhaps they would have a better relationship. Walking out into her bedroom to change clothes, she shook her head; she'd never had much time for Sue Ellen's dramatic moments of self-doubt, but she was beginning to rethink that attitude. Confusion and regrets were legitimate and very real thoughts and they weren't as easy to dismiss as she'd originally tried to pretend.

To be continued…


	380. Shock

**Author's Note: I probably didn't explain in much detail originally, so I'll just clear up confusion about the phrasing 'limited benefits'. JR is no longer giving any direct financial support to Patricia, however, he is paying for Kristin's boarding school including her living expenses and extracurricular activities, so although Patricia has lost income by the way of being financially cut off, she's also lessened her expenses. With Patricia being the way she is, she sees Kristin's education and entry into a higher social class as a benefit to her by proxy, just like she did with Sue Ellen. Patricia is beginning to feel empathetic toward the position she put Sue Ellen in when she was a young woman, but she hasn't had a complete change of heart when it comes to what the ultimate goal is; she still wants money and status and if that comes from her own efforts or her daughters doesn't really matter to her. I hope that explains things a little :)**

**Dallas, Texas**

"Didn't anybody think I deserved to know about this before now?" glaring at his brother and parents, Bobby raised his voice as he spoke. While he had no legal claim on the old Wade ranch and wouldn't have been able to do anything to stop JR from purchasing the property, he did have a sentimental connection to the neighbouring land and would have appreciated JR informing him of his intentions privately before dropping the bomb on him in front of the whole family. It wasn't as if the news was a complete secret, his parents clearly knew of JR and Sue Ellen's plans and had had enough time to process the news that their eldest son, his wife and their youngest grandchild would soon be leaving the family home, because knowing them, acceptance of the news was not their first reaction. He felt aggrieved that his parents had been given the courtesy of hearing the intended news and had had enough time to come to terms with it, but he hadn't been informed of anything and hadn't had time to process his own thoughts and feelings before he was expected to congratulate his brother and sister-in-law on their newest purchase.

Ordinarily, he wouldn't have minded not being a part of the discussion prior to the official announcement that their offer had been accepted, because it wasn't really his business; and ordinarily, it wouldn't have been a difficult thing for him to congratulate JR and Sue Ellen in a situation like this, however, contextually, this wasn't an ordinary situation. The property his brother and sister-in-law had purchased wasn't just any property, it was one that held a lot of memories for him and while he hadn't thought about Jenna very much recently, it would be a lie to say that he was completely over her and the serious relationship she had left behind when she suddenly jilted him. He wasn't necessarily upset by the idea that JR and Sue Ellen were the new owners of Jenna's old house, it was just that he wished he had had time to come to terms with his feelings before the whole family launched into a spirited conversation about the new future of the property. Naturally, with any restoration and renovation project, many of the old, familiar features of the home would be erased and new things would take their place, and as he had only just heard the news, he hadn't quite come to terms with the magnitude of that reality. His memories were etched in his mind, but with his brother, sister-in-law and their son moving into the home and changing the way things were decorated and the general atmosphere, his memories would slowly start to become less and less vivid and perhaps, if he were very unlucky, they would become almost impossible to visualise. No longer would the third bedroom on the right of the upstairs hallway be 'Jenna's room', the room he naturally made his way up to when he arrived at the house; no, soon it would be 'John Ross' room', 'the guest room', 'the nursery' or some other room that lacked the sentimental feeling he previously associated with it.

It wasn't JR or Sue Ellen's fault that he had feelings he wasn't completely over, and he couldn't really blame them for wanting to live in their own home and wanting that home to be close to Southfork; the home they had chosen and the surprise of their news had really just come as a shock to him. In the heat of the moment, as the rest of the family excitedly discussed plans for the future, giving no regard to his feelings and personal history with the home, he had let his annoyance and shock get the better of him and had snapped, demanding answers for why he was left out of the loop until the last minute.

If he knew Sue Ellen, her intention hadn't been to purposely exclude him from the situation, so he didn't really blame her for not telling him; they weren't extremely close and no matter how much of an individual she was, there were certain things she simply allowed JR to take the lead in. Knowing JR though, he had either intentionally planned to surprise him with the news to get a reaction from him, or, he had been afraid that if he knew their plans beforehand, he would have attempted to do something to stop it going ahead. With JR, intentions weren't always immediately obvious, but in Bobby's experience with his brother, if he could get away with being mischievous and reaffirming his position as the older, smarter brother without being blamed for something, then he would. It had happened at Ewing Oil when he had first started working there; JR had intentionally set him tasks that would show his ineptitude and while it wasn't JR's fault that he wasn't a great oilman, it certainly hadn't been necessary for him to make a point of emphasising that. No, if he knew JR as well as he thought he did then this had all been planned and he'd fallen for it once again. Reacting badly to what was overall happy news only made him look bad; it didn't really validate his feelings any more than they already were. Of course he was allowed to be upset, but it didn't look good for him to project his upset and annoyance onto his brother and sister-in-law.

"Well Bob, it wasn't a done deal up until today, so obviously we didn't want to shout it too loud before we actually confirmed the plan. You'll understand in the future when you're making deals and waiting on confirmation that your efforts are going to be successful; it doesn't pay to be too loose lipped about prospective plans. We're telling you now though, that's enough, right? I'll tell you what, if we find anything in the house with your name on it, we'll be sure to pass it on to you". Grinning in amusement as Bobby reacted as predicted, JR then responded in a way that validated his reasons for hiding the news from his brother while also making him appear gracious and generous toward him. He'd always liked Jenna and he wouldn't have minded one bit if Bobby had eventually married her, but that didn't mean he saw their relationship as something so sacred that he needed Bobby's permission to go anywhere near anything that had a connection to her. Continuing to grin as he watched Bobby look flustered and annoyed that he wasn't participating in the fight, he then turned his attention back to his wife and parents. He and Sue Ellen were happily married, they had a wonderful son, he was the future owner and president of Ewing Oil, they were homeowners and most importantly, none of it had come at the expense of their relationship with his parents. All was well.

To be continued…


	381. Mind at Ease

**Dallas, Texas**

"…debate club? That's interesting", listening and responding as Kristin brought her and JR up to speed on how the first half of the semester at her new school had gone, Sue Ellen felt happy and secure. While she had spoken to her sister on the phone once or twice, it was very reassuring to see her in person and have it confirmed to her that she had indeed adapted well to her new life and they hadn't all made a huge mistake sending her off to school in another state.

"It is interesting. My English teacher told me that my quick responses to questions and ability to see situations from opposing perspectives would make me a good debater, so I went to the initial club meeting and it turns out she wasn't lying or exaggerating. They give us topics and we have to come up with a strong argument for or against that topic. It's fun, you get to argue your point without risking being punished for saying something that goes against popular opinion; the aim is to persuade people to agree with your position, so you get to be as strong and argumentative as you want. I'm sure mama will hate that I'm in a club that encourages being opinionated and congratulates the person with the best argument, but I'm sure she would have loved it too if she had done it when she was in school; you know how much she enjoys being right about things". Speaking the final part of her sentence in a more bitter tone than the rest of her explanation, Kristin then switched back to her previous demeanour, excitedly regaling her sister and brother-in-law with a recount of her school year thus far.

"Debate club is just one of the activities I'm in though. I've been working on my tennis skills so that I can try out for the team next semester and hopefully get a place in the JV team when I'm in high school. They also offer skiing and sailing lessons, so I've signed up for weekend classes for both of those. I've never done either of them, so they're purely fun extracurricular activities right now, but perhaps by the time I'm in high school I'll be good enough to try out for the teams. They don't have a cheerleading squad for me to work toward being a part of, but apparently when we get to ninth grade, if we want to, we can to opt out of traditional gym class and focus on one of our sports or choose something else like dance or swimming to try, even if we're not on the team. My classes and activities keep me busy, but that doesn't mean I miss out on being able to do things with my friends. Living on campus means that you're never far from seeing people you know or finding someone to do things with in your free time. I loved my old school, but this is better; we have rules and codes of conduct to follow, but they're not like the rules mama has, they aren't restricting and domineering, they're really just there to make sure we stay safe and achieve things to the level we're capable of, not simply to control us".

Surprised by her sister's intuitive evaluation of her life with their mother and away from her, Sue Ellen's satisfaction with her and JR's decision grew. She herself had felt smothered by Patricia's rules and ridiculous insistence upon certain behaviours, and even when she went away to college, she hadn't been able to escape her mother's control, so to hear that Kristin felt the same way and was thriving in an environment away from that made her very happy. Kristin had always been more comfortable with the idea of making good social connections and marrying young than Sue Ellen had, but Sue Ellen hoped that in living away from the intense influence of their mother, her younger sister would develop her own sense of self and strive for something more than to be the wife of a wealthy man. Sue Ellen couldn't deny that she enjoyed the money and status that came with being Mrs JR Ewing, but for her personally, her happiness had more to do with the fact that she had married a man she loved and who loved her and had married into a family that treated her well, than it did with the actual money. Her primary reason for dating and marrying JR hadn't been for money at all, in fact, at the time she had met JR, on the evening of the Miss Texas pageant, she had been in a relationship with a wholly middle class college student and she had been happy with that. The feelings she had felt for JR when she first laid eyes on him and subsequently met him had had nothing to do with his money or power, especially since she hadn't even been aware that he was wealthy and powerful; he had really just been an attractive, mysterious man who had caught her eye.

To Sue Ellen, if Kristin made good social connections in her life and eventually did fall in love with a man who could give her everything their mother had set them up to believe was important, then that wasn't a problem, not really, but it had to come from a place of mutual love and respect. Anything less would end horribly and she didn't want Kristin's life to head in that direction. Her sister was smart, beautiful and absolutely capable of more than just manipulating her way into marriage; there was nothing wrong with being the wife of a wealthy man, but it shouldn't be her only goal, she was worth so much more than that and Sue Ellen hoped that she was beginning to realise that. From what Kristin was saying though, moving out of Texas, away from her mother and the general atmosphere she was raised in was turning out to be the best thing she had ever done. If the encouragement from the teachers and coaches at her new school could boost her self-confidence about what she was capable of, she was on the path to a good, well-rounded life, one where she may get everything Patricia wanted for her, but not purely because she had set out to achieve those things. As JR pulled into the Southfork driveway, Sue Ellen smiled to herself; if things kept going at the rate they were, this was set to be a happy, undramatic Thanksgiving and she was very excited by that possibility.

To be continued…


	382. Tact

**Dallas, Texas**

As JR turned off the main road, Patricia began to really understand what a big step her daughter and son-in-law were making, because although Sue Ellen had explained the size of the land and home situated on the property, her mind hadn't quite processed just how large it actually was. Watching out the window as they drove down a long driveway, passing underneath overgrown trees, she was awed by the acres of land on either side of her and although she was highly impressed by the life Sue Ellen was living, she couldn't help but feel a little jealous and resentful of her too. It didn't seem fair that she had sacrificed so much to get Sue Ellen to a position in life where meeting and marrying a wealthy man was possible, but she never received anything substantial in return for her efforts. Of course, JR was free to do whatever he wished with his personal money and as his wife, Sue Ellen was included in those decisions, however, what was so horrible or sacrificial about them giving up a tiny percentage of their wealth to look after her and provide her with a few nice things? It was difficult to be a single older woman, especially when she wasn't content to just live her life as she had been. At this point, even a simple positive acknowledgement of her role in the life Sue Ellen now lived would have been appreciated, because it appeared that as far as her daughter was concerned, she had pushed and manipulated her purely for selfish reasons and her current position in life was despite her upbringing, not because of it. That was completely false though and for Sue Ellen to attempt to forget all of the things she had done for her and make it seem like she didn't deserve any repayment for her efforts whether it be monetary or just socially, seemed twisted. In her mind, if JR and Sue Ellen could purchase this large property for their small family of three, surely they could spare a small portion of their overall wealth for her benefit; anything less was just selfish.

Pulling up outside the large, slightly rundown home, Sue Ellen took a deep breath and turned toward her mother. "Now mama, don't expect too much when we go inside. As I said earlier, it's not in the best shape right now, but with all of the necessary permits now approved, it won't look like this for much longer. During the initial estate sale, most of the furniture and décor items were sold, so there aren't many items inside that we have to deal with disposing of, but the wallpaper is peeling, it's very dusty and in places, years of Texas storm damage has done horrible things to the overall state of the house. It's all fixable though and we've hired a very experienced and reliable contractor to oversee all of the construction work that needs to be done. He has a group of men coming next week to do the strengthening and exterior repair work and after that, the real remodelling and renovation will begin. JR and I will be meeting with an interior decorator in a few weeks to discuss the specific style we want for the house; she said she should have the pictures of what we want ready for us by Christmas and we should be able to get our orders placed by the time the New Year starts. After the major building work is complete, the interior process can really come together quite quickly apparently. The hardwood floor restoration and in some places, new installation; the painting; the bathroom and kitchen fittings; the electrical work; the furniture arrangements and all of the other interior things like that are all done by different people and most of them can be worked on while other things are happening. I think that if our contractor's estimate is correct and everything goes to plan, we should be able to move in by mid-January". Explaining the current state of the project, she hoped her mother was really listening, because she truly loved the home she and JR had purchased and she wasn't prepared to hear unnecessary negative comments about it. The home they would be living in wouldn't be grimy and dilapidated, so to point out that that's how it looked right now was pointless and silly. Kristin had managed to understand their plans, see past the current sad state of the home and show that she was happy for them, but she had a different personality to their mother and Sue Ellen wasn't holding out too much hope that she would get the same excited reaction from her.

"…you know, since you have so many unoccupied bedrooms, perhaps we could discuss a more frequent schedule for me to visit Dallas so I can spend time with John Ross more often?" as they made their way outside after their walking tour of the home's interior, Patricia looked at her eldest daughter and spoke. She was well aware of how Sue Ellen felt about her visiting, but with the way things had been during their visit, mildly pleasant, and her ability to manipulate situations, she wasn't too worried about harsh rejection anymore. The house was a mess right now, but with JR's money and Sue Ellen's taste, she was sure that it would be lovely, an opinion she had made known, much to Sue Ellen's delight. However, never one to just leave a good situation as it was, she had seen an opening in the conversation and gone for it. She did love John Ross, no one could deny that, he was her grandson and no matter what kind of mother she had been, she only wanted and showed him the best of herself when she was with him. Her grandson may not have been her only motivation for her request, but she wasn't lying when she expressed a desire to spend more time with him. If her time in Dallas meant an increase in social connections in Dallas though, then that wasn't a bad consequence either though. Unfortunately for her, from the look on Sue Ellen's face as she spoke, her daughter wasn't going to be quite as easily convinced as she had hoped.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: There probably won't be a chapter tomorrow. Thank you to everyone who has left a review recently :)**


	383. Repetition

**Dallas, Texas**

"Mama, we've had this conversation many times before. You know you're always welcome to arrange a visit to see John Ross; we're not keeping him from you and we want him to have a good relationship with you. You and I disagree on how my childhood was, so I don't want to get in a fight about that again, but I do think I should clarify again that we're happy for you to be in his life, as long as you respect the rules and guidelines we've set for how we want him to be raised. When our home is finished and we move in, we'll have several bedrooms that won't be being used as permanent bedrooms, so of course when you visit, you will have a guest room to stay in, just like you do at Southfork. I do think we need to set some boundaries though; we will not be providing you with a permanent home in this house and if you do choose to move to Dallas like you have talked about doing in the past, then that will be your responsibility to deal with. Of course, I don't mind participating in helping you find a place of your own here and I don't mind showing you around, you're my family and despite our previous relationship issues, I don't want us to see each other negatively. However, JR and I have previously made our feelings known when it comes to any kind of permanent financial support; we're not comfortable with setting up our relationship based on things like that and we won't be participating in a relationship like that. You're welcome to come and visit John Ross, but if you only intend to use him as an entry into my life and a new life for yourself here in Dallas, one with new social connections and financial benefits, then you're out of luck and I politely request that you stop pushing the subject. If you want a relationship with your grandson, then start small and work your way into the things you wish for; he is still young, but he's already very aware and forming social attachments, so the more often you make an effort to be with him, then the more he will respond to you. You've said in the past that you want to spend more time with him, but you never really tried to do that; we haven't seen you for months and you can't say that's because you've been busy with work of Kristin's activities, because you haven't. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but I do want you to realise how serious I am, how serious we are. If you want to be close to John Ross, then make the effort and do it, but if you want to be close to the Ewing money and social connections, then please, do us all a favour and say so now". Speaking in a serious but emotive tone, Sue Ellen hoped that her mother understood her perspective; they had been having the same argument for years and she was sick of it. With Miss Ellie, she received nothing but love and support, and John Ross had formed an attachment with his grandmother based on her honest, loving interactions with him; but with her own mother, things were different. She didn't doubt that deep down, her mother did love John Ross and did want to see him more often, because in a twisted way, she knew that her mother loved her and had honestly believed that most of what she'd done during her childhood and young adulthood had been reasonable and loving. That didn't mean she wasn't scarred from her own childhood though, because she was, and she was scared that her mother's ridiculous opinions, expectations and ulterior motives would do her son more harm than good.

Momentarily glancing over at JR, she was pleased to see him quietly nodding and listening and she knew that if necessary, he would deal with her mother much more harshly than how she currently was; for now though, there was no reason for him to interject himself into a conversation that was for the most part, between mother and daughter. From meeting with Doctor Williams, they were both aware that for anyone to take Sue Ellen seriously and for her to assert herself as her own person, she needed to do her own negotiation and confrontation sometimes. It didn't mean she was all on her own when it came to situations that she felt out of her depth in, but in situations where she had previously submissively or politely allowed people to manipulate her, she knew that she had to speak up and make it known that she wouldn't stand for being treated that way any longer. She had to make sure that people heard her individual opinions and respected that she was her own person, away from her titles and expectations placed upon her, and the best way to do that was to say what was on her mind instead of pretending her thoughts and feelings weren't valid or didn't exist. Of course, a little bit of politeness was always appreciated and she had been trained so well by her mother that it came completely naturally to her; so while inside her head, her thoughts and frustrations were unfiltered, but when spoken, they were at least somewhat tactful, at least until brutal honesty was completely necessary.

Maintaining her cool as her daughter accused her again of manipulating the situation, which in a way, she was, Patricia considered what Sue Ellen was saying. Perhaps small steps toward a larger goal was the way to get what she wanted; she didn't have to ask for everything at once, she could gradually work toward attaining the things she wanted and believed she deserved. Staying silent for a few moments as she thought about how to respond to the accusations and questions, she then carefully constructed her response before speaking. "I remember our previous conversations and I agree, I don't want to repeat the same argument, so I'll just say this; I understand what you're saying and I understand that you have a hard time believing me, but I want the opportunity to prove myself to you, and John Ross. I would like to see John Ross more often; I would like to see you more often, and perhaps one day I will move to Dallas, but right now, I completely understand your position on that and I respect your position. I'm not asking for anything from you except the opportunity to show you and John Ross how I feel". Giving a speech based on some of her honest feelings, Patricia deliberately omitted her plans for the more distant future and her feelings regarding what she believed she was entitled to; she wasn't stupid, she knew when to push and when to stay quiet and right now, making her more selfish feelings known wouldn't do anyone any good.

To be continued…


	384. Thanksgiving Dinner

**Dallas, Texas**

Splitting her attention between eating her Thanksgiving dinner, feeding John Ross his small bowl of mashed sweet potatoes and listening to the conversations happening around the dinner table, Sue Ellen smiled to herself contently. While the previous day hadn't gone exactly as she had planned and her mother had once again attempted to gain something more than love and sentimental relationships from her visit to Dallas, she had dealt with it much better than she had in the past and overall, she hadn't allowed her mother to ruin her good mood. She wasn't stupid, she knew that her mother's apology and promise to do better in the future was likely something she just said rather than actually meant, however, it didn't matter too much to her because the rest of what was going on in her life was good and she didn't feel the need to dwell on the negatives. In a few days, her mother would return home to her own life in Austin and it was likely that she wouldn't contact her again until it was time to make arrangements for Christmas, and while it saddened Sue Ellen to know that her mother was so much good talk and little real change and action, it also suited her. As unfortunate as it was, they had a better relationship when they weren't close to each other and although there was definitely tension when it came to the topic of financial support, she had learned to just shut down the conversation and move on instead of arguing about it. The possibility of her mother becoming more involved in her life and John Ross' life was somewhat worrisome, however, at the same time, she knew it was probably more of a farfetched daydream than a looming reality, so she wasn't too worried. If it did become a reality though, she felt equipped to deal with it better now than she would have been in the past, because she knew what she wanted and she wasn't afraid to tell her mother that she wasn't happy with the way she spoke to her or about certain things. John Ross wouldn't be raised in the same negative atmosphere she had been, she was sure of it and because of that surety, she felt secure in her decision to allow her mother to see her grandson whenever she wished, though she also made sure to put that responsibility back on her mother. After their conversation yesterday, her mother's subsequent behaviour and attitude had changed and whether it was real or not, she didn't care, it was just nice to be able to spend a few days at Southfork with her family and the Ewings without the whole visit turning into something unpleasant for everyone. Of course, she wasn't going to be too upset when her mother got on the plane and returned to Austin in a couple of days, but for now, her presence in Dallas wasn't as unpleasant as it had been in the past.

Across the table, Miss Ellie observed her son, daughter-in-law and grandson and couldn't help but smile as she considered everything. While she still wasn't totally happy with the idea of losing them at Southfork, she was still supportive of their decision and seeing how happy they were with the decision, she knew her encouragement and love was the best thing she could give them. With the home they had chosen to make their own just a few miles down the road and on land that was adjoined to Southfork, she really didn't have that much to complain about anyway. Sue Ellen had assured her that their daily routines wouldn't change too greatly and she knew Jock would insist on at least two family dinners a week, so she wouldn't really be losing a lot of time with her grandson and for that, she was grateful. She didn't know how Patricia could live with not seeing her grandson growing as he was, however, she never questioned that situation too much because if her own observations and from what she had heard from Sue Ellen was correct, the relationship between JR, Patricia and Sue Ellen was very complicated. She didn't need or want to know the exact details of why things had been so icy between JR and Patricia in the past, at least not right now, not when Patricia was a guest in her home, so for now, as things appeared to be bettering anyway, she was pleased and content.

As Teresa cleared their dinner plates and then set their dessert plates in front of them, Jock took a moment to look around the room and take everything in. Past Thanksgivings had always been dramatic, however, this year, so far, things had been quiet and largely uneventful and for that, he was grateful. Thanksgiving was supposed to be about families coming together and for the first time in years, that's exactly what it was; the Ewing family and Shepard family had managed to come together harmoniously, without bringing unnecessary drama with individual members to mess up the group dynamic. A lot had happened in the past year and it hadn't all been good, but they had all managed to come out the other side unscathed and happier and as the head of the family, that made him proud. To know that JR and Bobby were no longer competing for his attention at Ewing Oil had lifted a weight off his shoulders and he was sure it had done something for their brotherly relationship too. Things were good; he and his wife were happy, he had two good sons, a grandson and granddaughter, a daughter-in-law who had really begun to come into her own and although Southfork was set to lose three of its residents soon, he was even ok with that. With the proposal he had set out, both JR and Sue Ellen, and Southfork Ranch would benefit greatly from the new Ewing-owned land and on a more personal and less business related level, the relationship he had with JR would probably improve a little too. Some, but not too much space was a good thing and with the way he had planned everything, he was sure that that thought wasn't going to let him down.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: No chapter tomorrow. Thanks for all the recent reviews :)**


	385. Another Chance

**Dallas, Texas**

Nearing the airport, Sue Ellen nodded politely and gave short but meaningful responses as she engaged in friendly conversation with her mother. It a familiar but also new way, she felt happy and calm, but she also felt confused and a little uneasy. For the first time in a long time, spending a few days with her family had been pleasant and uneventful, but somewhere in the back of her mind, she was still waiting for the other shoe to drop, because surely things hadn't just changed and all of a sudden her family were almost normal. While she was under no illusion that her mother was one hundred percent changed and committed to being an involved grandmother and better person, things had been different over the past few days and surprisingly, even after having her daughter and son-in-law's position on wealth distribution reiterated to her, her original request and intentions hadn't changed. They had yet to make any real plans for another visit to Dallas, but this time, the conversations that they had had regarding that topic seemed to be more realistically intentioned and less obviously deceptive. Patricia Shepard would always be who she was, a manipulative social climber and gold digger who was never happy with the things she had, however it now appeared that that wasn't all she was and perhaps there was hope that her grandson would have better childhood memories of her than either of her daughters did. Sue Ellen wasn't relaxed and ready to forget the past just yet, but if things kept going the way they had been over the past few days, then she had hope that perhaps someday things would be different and she wouldn't always expect the worst and dread hearing from her mother.

"Well, Christmas is in a month, so I'll fly up to Dallas again then, but I wasn't lying when I said I would like our visits to become a more regular part of life. I'd really like to see you and John Ross more often, perhaps even in Austin sometime, so please, do think about it again and see if you could possibly squeeze me into your busy social calendar here". Aiming to speak in a calm, rational manner, Patricia requested once more that her daughter reconsider her wish to be more involved in her and John Ross' life. The past few days had been enjoyable and pleasant, but also enlightening and saddening; seeing how happy her daughters were with their lives away from her and how happy her grandson was to be with his mother and paternal grandmother had made her feel jealous, annoyed and a little regretful about the way she had gone about her own life. She had put so much effort into creating good lives for her daughters, ones that were supposed to benefit all of them, but somehow, everything had gone awry and everyone had ended up happy and satisfied, everyone except her. Sue Ellen had made it clear to her that she didn't believe her sacrifices, clear guidance and high standards and expectations were responsible for the life position she was in now; somehow, her daughter seemed to think she would have ended up meeting and marrying JR Ewing even if she hadn't been the graceful, beautiful and recognizable Miss Texas. Additionally, she had made it clear that if she hadn't met JR, a man she actually loved for himself, not just because of his money and power, she would have also been happy with the poor boy, Clint Ogden. Perhaps it was a snobby, judgemental thing to think, but for Patricia, the idea of her daughter ending up in such a dull, average life, just like the one she had settled for when she was younger, made her skin crawl. She had done so much to ensure that her daughters had everything she didn't, but neither of them seemed to understand that and in a way, they both seemed to resent her organization, planning and control of their lives. Kristin had been more agreeable than Sue Ellen, but from the way she had left her, didn't seem to miss being around her, and gushed about how wonderful her new life was, it was pretty clear that she was relishing in the freedom of being away from her mother and the life she had planned for her.

Seeing how happy her daughters were to be away from her and knowing how unhappy she was with the current state of her life, she was really beginning to question her entire perspective and motivation and beginning to wonder whether it had been a huge mistake to put all her efforts into her daughter's futures instead of her own. If she had married a different man when she was younger, she never would've been in the mess she was in today, but even after that, if instead of working to make Sue Ellen into someone worthy of a better life, she had worked to make herself into that person, then maybe they all could've had the life she intended. It was a confusing situation that consisted of a lot of regrets and 'what if's', but after years of denying that there was a problem within her family, she was finally able to see that perhaps all wasn't as well as she had originally believed. She was ready to make a change, but she was also ready for the uncomfortable, sacrificial part of her life to be over and the enjoyable, rewarding part of her life to begin. She was ready to be a better mother and grandmother and if being a better person would help to attract better men than she'd been seeing lately, then that was something she was also interested in. Her old methods obviously hadn't worked to get her the life she wanted, so it was time to try something new, something different.

Staying quiet as her mother again requested that they make plans for another visit, Sue Ellen thought about it for a moment before taking a deep breath and speaking. "How does two weeks from now sound? Will you be free? JR and I have commitments on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and John Ross and I attend a mother and baby class on Wednesdays, so I don't think it would be optimal for you to visit early in the week, but I suppose if you wanted to fly in on Thursday or Friday evening, you could stay for a few days". In an effort to be a good person and give her mother a chance to do what she insisted she now wanted, Sue Ellen gave her a prospective time to prove herself. Spending more time together wasn't her personal ideal, but she saw no harm in at least trying it before she made the decision to stay in a distant relationship. She and JR had made it their position on financial support clear and although she suspected her mother hadn't quite given up on that hope, she also hadn't made it the sole focus of their interactions and had been a relatively enjoyable person to be around for the past few days, so she was ready to give her a chance. Looking over toward her mother, she saw something she had rarely had the privilege of seeing during her childhood, a genuine smile on her face. Maybe this was the start of a new chapter in their relationship, or maybe not; she wasn't ready to completely open her life and heart just yet, but she was ready to at least try and participate in changing the closed and distant relationship they had fallen into lately.

To be continued…


	386. Observations

**Dallas, Texas**

Listening as Mr and Mrs Ewing described the recent happenings in their lives, Doctor Williams nodded and made agreeable comments; they were doing well, surprisingly well considering the reason why they were in marriage counselling additional to Sue Ellen's need for individual therapy. What worried him though was that although he had played a part in helping them repair their broken relationship, they had moved further and faster than he had originally planned and in doing so, he feared that they hadn't quite examined and truly fixed the deeper issues in their marriage. JR and Sue Ellen had come to an understanding that their marriage was about the two of them and their son and they deserved to be happy as their own family before they moved toward doing things to please the rest of the Ewing family or other, outside people. Because of their decision and understanding, they had made serious moves toward building their own lives, starting first with quality time alone together and then moving toward physically separating their lives from the rest of the family by purchasing their own home. Additional to those things, it appeared that they had overcome the first set of issues in their marriage, ones that had more to do with who they were as people rather than because of outside influences; namely, infidelity, learned submissiveness and people pleasing, and great misunderstandings of what the other wanted and expected. However, while all of those changes were positive, he couldn't help but worry that as soon as they achieved their ultimate happy status, which he expected to be in a few months, things would begin to go south again.

From what he understood, JR had committed adultery for reasons related to his overinflated ego, prudish and outdated attitude regarding ladylike behaviour, the ease of access to women who would do anything he wanted, and simply because he could, no one had ever seriously stopped him, so he did what he wanted. Things had changed for the better after Sue Ellen had left him and then only rekindled their relationship after a long break, a lot of promises of change, and a long, honest discussion about what each of them actually wanted in an intimate sense rather than what they thought they were expected to do and not do. For Doctor Williams, he had only had the opportunity to analyse the details of their marriage months after all of their problems came to a head, because Sue Ellen hadn't sought his help until after the birth of their son, so he only knew what he had been told. However, as Sue Ellen was fairly open and honest, he believed he had a good understanding of the situation, at least from her perspective. What he wasn't so sure of though was the change that Sue Ellen believed had happened in her husband, the change JR himself seemed to be certain was permanent. He needed to make sure that his patients were prepared to deal with and overcome future events that could present issues in their marriage, events like the claims Cynthia Moore had made, or the possible temptations of other women at events JR was likely to attend for his job or even just generally in life.

With JR set to inherit Ewing Oil in the next few years, the role JR's younger brother Bobby played in the company was likely to be minimized, however, someone still needed to do the PR work for Ewing Oil and if Doctor Williams' assumptions were correct, JR would allocate some of that work to himself. It was unlikely that JR would intentionally attend parties or meetings for business and _pleasure_, it was obvious that he did love and want to be with his wife, however, it was also obvious from past events that sometimes love wasn't enough or wasn't even on his mind. Because of that, and knowing how easy it was for people to slip back into old behaviours, Doctor Williams knew he had to help him acquire skills to deal with those situations in a better way than he had in the past. He would have liked to have JR be as willing to work with him individually as Sue Ellen had, because JR Ewing was an interesting man with a lot of complex issues, issues that stemmed from his childhood and overall family life, however, JR wasn't Sue Ellen and getting him to agree to individual therapy was probably a long shot. On the positive side though, he had JR attending and willingly participating in the marriage counselling sessions, so he was sure he could accomplish something and make the monogamous relationship between JR and Sue Ellen Ewing one that would last forever, not just until the next time JR left Dallas on a business trip.

Watching Doctor Williams as Sue Ellen filled him in on what had happened over the past few days, JR felt slightly uncomfortable for reasons unknown to him, because as far as he was concerned, his life was good and he had nothing to feel guilty or bad about. He and Sue Ellen were set to have everything they'd ever wanted; their marriage was exciting, fulfilling and comfortable; having John Ross had opened up amazing new feelings and experiences for him; and he no longer had to fight for recognition of his commitment to Ewing Oil or the promise that it would one day be his. As soon as they moved into their new home and were really able to explore what being a family of three, and maybe more in the future, meant for them, then he was sure things would get even better, especially when his father retired and Ewing Oil became his. With everything as good as it was, he simply didn't understand why he sensed that the doctor didn't seem to be as entirely happy as he and Sue Ellen were. What did he know that they didn't? Hearing Sue Ellen finish speaking, his observation of the doctor became even stronger and for the first time in a long time, he found himself holding his breath in anticipation. He was dreading hearing what the doctor had to say, because with his observational and psychoanalytical skills, anything could come out of his mouth and it may not be favourable toward JR, even if he didn't think he had done anything unfavourable lately.

To be continued…


	387. Dubiety

**Dallas, Texas**

"Who does that man think he is? Accusing me of not really having changed at all; making it seem like I'm only interested in our marriage right now because it hasn't been long enough since we've been back together for us to really fall into the lull of normalcy; insinuating that the moment we accomplish the things we're currently working on, I'll get bored and inevitably stray. Why is it that no one ever seems to believe that I can and have changed? Why am I always JR Ewing, bastard, cad, villain? Am I really that one-dimensional and unchangeable?" leaving their appointment in a huff, JR sighed in frustration and anger at the assumptions the nosy doctor had made. Would anything he did would ever be enough? It sure didn't seem like it sometimes.

Did he still think other women were attractive? Sure, he wasn't blind; but the difference between his natural appreciation of the opposite sex now and his previous attitude was simple, he knew the boundaries and consequences if he went beyond the boundaries, so he could look, but touching or anything even remotely close to flirting was considered out-of-bounds. Singular nights with nameless women, paid encounters with familiar women and an ongoing fling with a certain old acquaintance simply weren't worth it, not emotionally, not socially and certainly not physically. After having an honest conversation with Sue Ellen, it appeared that the things he sought from other women simply because he felt bad asking her for things he foolishly classed as 'beneath' her, weren't such a big deal after all and she was more than happy to participate in a varied, exciting relationship as well as a normal, ordinary one. Of course, her participation in their marriage, especially after finding out about his dirty, dishonest past, came with conditions, the biggest being that in return for accepting his answer and choosing to forgive him and move on from his previous indiscretions, he had to have honestly changed and the new JR Ewing had to mean what he said. She wouldn't put up with any more lies, deceit or dishonourable behaviour; if he couldn't keep his promise to be faithful and committed to her and only her, she was done with their marriage, relationship and trying to work things out, and before he could even think about begging her for another chance, she and John Ross would be gone. JR knew she was serious and she had his mother on her side if he ever did mess up again, however, he really wasn't that concerned about that possibility, because in his mind, things had changed and he was a different man now, a changed man, a more mature man who was ready for marriage, fatherhood and 'regular' life. He wished everyone else understood how he felt though, because having his motivations and actions constantly questioned and scrutinised was beginning to get old, frustrating and maddening. He had made mistakes in the past, but he had seen what a future without his wife, the only woman he had ever loved, looked like and he didn't like it, not one bit.

He didn't have complete answers for the questions Doctor Williams had brought up, but the topics they had discussed also hadn't been issues lately, not in the way the doctor had insinuated. It was true that he wasn't nearly as involved in the social side of the oil business as he had been in the past, so his exposure to legions of beautiful, available, willing women was a lot less, however, as he had tried to explain, his need for the things other women provided him with were also less apparent. He and Sue Ellen had always had an unbalanced relationship, he'd always been the more experienced, more powerful one and she'd always been the virginal or at least conservative, proper, submissive one, so naturally, they'd run into problems; it was inevitable with each of them operating on such different levels of experience, expectation and acceptance. Things were completely different now though, they had talked, acted, experimented and changed, together and after years of not completely understanding each other, their relationship was truly improving and he really believed it was near perfect. They finally understood and agreed with each other and after so much wasted time, they'd finally found a level they were both comfortable on, one that left them both happy and satisfied, that is, until outsiders started questioning things and making problems where, in his opinion, none existed.

Listening to her husband ranting and raving as they left their appointment, Sue Ellen was torn. On one hand, she was very sympathetic to his position and feelings, because it was true, no one really understood JR Ewing or seemed to believe he could seriously change, so it had to be frustrating for him to constantly be expected to be the bad guy and get no credit, only doubt, when he did improve himself. On the other hand though, she understood why people would question his changes, motivations and future thoughts and behaviours; it was hard to undo years of 'natural' behaviours and rewire yourself to act differently to how you would have in the past, so to believe that he was a completely different man now was optimistic. She understood why Doctor Williams was concerned and why he had brought up the topic in their appointment; they had made so much progress in a short space of time, a lot of it on their own, without professional guidance, so perhaps they had missed the deeper lessons involved. She also understood why JR was angry and upset though; she believed he loved her, she felt it, and she loved him, so she also felt defensive when it came to other people assuming things about their marriage. It was a complicated situation and she could see both sides of it, but naturally, as JR's wife and as Sue Ellen Ewing, an independent woman who also happened to be in love with a complicated man, she was more inclined to side with her husband. She didn't discount that Doctor Williams had some good ideas and a lot of academic experience and professional knowledge though; it probably was time to talk everything out, in detail. They did need to work on deepening their trust; understanding the root causes of why things had turned out so badly in the past; work on keeping things fresh and exciting but also respectful in the future; and lastly, work out how to prevent any possibility of past situations repeating themselves. Doctor Williams was right, whether they liked it or not, there would be times in their lives where there wasn't something new and exciting happening, or where physical attraction wasn't on their minds; they needed to work out how to live comfortably and happily together in any situation, good or bad, because they wanted their marriage to last forever.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: No chapter tomorrow. Thanks for reading :)**


	388. Disaccord

**Dallas, Texas**

Greeting JR as he arrived home from work, Sue Ellen felt uneasy and distant, and if JR's demeanour was anything to go by, he felt exactly the same way. After their appointment, they had separated for the afternoon, JR returning to the office, and Sue Ellen to Southfork, but despite having been around other people for the past few hours, they both felt like they had had a lot of time alone with their thoughts, and the result of those thoughts weren't exactly positive. Doctor Williams had been right, they needed to talk, openly and honestly, though communicating that and getting an agreement from both of his patients was trickier than it should have been considering the obviousness of the situation.

Being the professional he was, JR had still accomplished the work he needed to do, however it would have been a lie to say he was at the top of his game and completely focused on the oil business like he usually was during the work day. He had spent most of the afternoon brooding and sulking over what he perceived as unfair and unnecessary scrutiny and judgement of his motives; thoughts; past, present and future actions; and the way he lived his life in general. He didn't like feeling as if all the progress he had made toward being a better husband and a better man was worthless because he had made mistakes in the past and no one was prepared to let him forget it. Sue Ellen had listened to him defending his position and had made a few comments agreeing with what he was saying, but she hadn't exactly jumped in with a long, authentic speech to show that she loved him, had forgiven him and didn't expect the same of him as everyone else seemed to. He would have been lying if he'd said her lack of enthusiastic support didn't bother him, because it did, more than he cared to admit; it was enough that everyone else seemed to think the worst of him, but for his own wife to be so quiet and reserved rather than loud and affable, upset him. If Sue Ellen didn't believe him enough to make her feelings perfectly clear to the doctor who was questioning their marriage, then perhaps their relationship wasn't as strong and issue-free as he had assumed. That possibility worried him, because if that was the case, then he didn't know what he was going to do; he was already trying his hardest and being the best man he thought he was capable of being; there wasn't any further up to go.

While JR had spent the afternoon brooding, sulking and generally feeling sorry for himself, Sue Ellen's afternoon had been full of a completely different set of emotions. In their appointment earlier, she had been somewhat shocked that Doctor Williams had decided to move so far backward in their relationship by bringing up old issues out of the blue, so she hadn't really said much either way. JR's offended outburst was enough of a response for both of them in the moment and after spending a while listening to him rambling about how much he had changed and how annoyed he was that Doctor Williams kept bringing up old issues and nosing around in things that didn't concern him, both she and Doctor Williams had grown quiet. Their hour-long appointment had felt both fast and slow, because while both Doctor Williams and JR were speaking, she'd felt as if she were witnessing a bad situation unfolding in slow motion, but by the time it came to actually getting around to discussing the issues like calm adults, it appeared that their allocated time was almost up. Leaving their appointment, she had continued to listen to JR ranting and raving about how he felt, and in the moment, she hadn't entirely disagreed with him, however, after not once hearing him ask for her perspective on the appointment or enquiring about how she felt about the situation as a whole, she'd found herself growing more and more distant. They had said their goodbyes in the parking lot and gone their separate ways for the afternoon and for the first time in a long time, she felt truly ignored. He was getting himself all worked up over an issue that concerned both of them, but selfishly, he'd completely neglected to realise that that's what it was, a two person issue, it wasn't just about him.

As they made their way into the house, the distance between JR and Sue Ellen was obvious, both physically and emotionally. Apart from a light kiss and a quick, generic question about the others day, there was little interaction between the married couple, and as they headed upstairs together, they remained silent. It was unusual and uncomfortable and it cemented Sue Ellen's thoughts; she and JR had to talk, seriously, because as much as she had thought she was ok with their relationship as it was, it was now clear to her that she wasn't. She could not just accept that he had made mistakes, was sorry and had changed, she wanted answers and a real, honest discussion about why certain things had occurred. She wanted it for her sake, but also for JR's sake and the sake of their marriage and family; she wanted everything to be out in the open, no matter how uncomfortable, humiliating or angering it may be.

As they reached the top of the stairs, JR looked at his watch and then at his wife before nodding his head toward his son's bedroom. Receiving only a silent nod and weak smile in response, he crinkled his forehead in confusion; Sue Ellen was acting strangely this evening and he didn't like it. Right now though, he had other things on his mind; he hadn't seen John Ross since breakfast and he missed him, so no matter all the other thoughts and emotions running through his mind, he was determined to experience at least one bright, happy moment for the day.

To be continued…


	389. Marital Tiff

**Dallas, Texas**

Reaching the top of the stairs after her late night snack downstairs, Lucy grimaced and then rolled her eyes as she entered the area of the house where her aunt and uncle seemed to all too often forget the walls weren't soundproof and their bedroom wasn't located on a deserted island, far away from other people. Fortunately for her, this time, what she was hearing wasn't disgusting or embarrassing, it was mostly just annoying; she didn't need to or care to hear their latest marital tiff and she was sure that she wasn't the only one at Southfork that felt that way. As far as she was concerned, mid-January couldn't come fast enough, because she was sick of being privy to the details of her aunt and uncles lives and the idea of them doing their arguing and other activities in their own home, miles down the street from Southfork, sounded blissful. Shooting a dirty look down the hall, in the direction of JR and Sue Ellen's bedroom, she then turned and walked in the opposite direction to the noise, heading straight for her bedroom.

Preparing for bed, Miss Ellie worriedly glanced at her husband. From Sue Ellen's quietness that afternoon and the strange, tense atmosphere between her and JR that evening, it was obvious that something was wrong, and the snippets of what sounded like an argument was all the proof she needed to confirm her thoughts. "Ellie, it's getting late, stop worrying and come to bed. Let them talk it out; they're adults and they've made it perfectly clear that they wish to be treated like adults. Give them some space before you try to fix things. Knowing those two, the argument will be over soon enough anyway, that's how it always was for us…" Catching Jock's eye as she moved around the room, Miss Ellie's worried expression was met with an answer that was both typical and atypical of her husband. Jock didn't usually willingly miss a chance to tell someone how to live their life or what he thought of their actions, so for the most part, she expected him to voice his opinion on the argument going on down the hall, because he definitely had one. She understood why he had responded how he had though; over the past few months, he and JR had come to an understanding, in business and in their personal lives, so despite the historic disparity between how Jock had treated JR versus how he had treated Bobby, Jock had a new respect for his eldest son and his choices. In a simpler explanation though, Jock was tired, not only from the day he'd had at work, but of concerning himself with controlling aspects of other people's lives that didn't really matter. JR and Sue Ellen's argument didn't sound like something he wished to get involved in and it wasn't something his wife had any business interfering in; all married couples had disagreements and tense moments, but that didn't mean they didn't love each other; Ellie just needed to remember that. He wasn't a fan of his son and daughter-in-law telling a stranger details about their lives, but he had seen the way the marriage counselling had drawn things out of them and was changing their relationship, so he was inclined to leave the task of mediating their marital problems to the doctor; he wished his wife would do so too. Shaking her head, Miss Ellie complied with her husband's suggestion and got into bed; he was right, JR and Sue Ellen were adults, adults who were perfectly capable of asking for help if they needed it and perfectly entitled to keep things to themselves or deal with them in their own way if they chose to. It wasn't hers, Jock's or anyone else's place to interfere or even just be nosy about why things had changed so suddenly, it wasn't their business, at least not at this point in time. The argument sounded personal and private, it was emotionally charged, but not abusive; her help was not needed and she knew it. If JR or Sue Ellen wanted to confide in her, then that was their choice, but right now, it wasn't a choice either of them was making and she just had to accept that.

Oblivious to the annoyance and worry they were causing the rest of the family, JR and Sue Ellen engaged in a heated discussion, one that didn't appear to have an obvious end point. "…you're asking me to communicate and then when I try to, you can't give me a straight answer. I don't know what you want and I don't know what more I can give you. We discussed this months ago; we discussed the reasons why I acted the way I did; we discussed the good and bad points in our relationship, and then things were good. I made you a promise, a promise that I have kept and don't intend to break. I thought we were on the same page, I thought we were finally past the bad times. I admit, having things from my past pop up unexpectedly isn't ideal and it's not something you should have to deal with, but I take full responsibility for my past actions that cause those things to suddenly reappear, and I honestly do try my best to do what's right for us. You want promises and changed behaviour in our marriage and for us as individuals, but when it comes to acknowledging that I'm working on those things and accepting that I have given you no reason to doubt my renewed commitment to you, you don't believe me. What is it you want from me? I can only offer you so many reassurances of my love and changed behaviour before they become redundant and less meaningful. I don't know what more you want from me though, so please darlin', just explain it and I'll try my best to answer your questions, but without the questions, I don't know what else to say. You know how I feel and I thought we were happy together, so now I'm thoroughly confused". Frustrated that they seemed to be going in circles, JR gave a quick summary of some of his thoughts and then directly asked her to explain to him what exactly it was that they were arguing about, because right now, he had no idea how to answer or appease her.

"I want to know how you feel about all of this, not just how you feel in reaction to Doctor Williams' questions or things that you and I do together. That's all. I know you're trying and I am absolutely thrilled to feel like I'm the only woman you want, but I want to know more; I want to know your thoughts, your feelings, your motivations. You're right, we talked about why you did what you did months ago and I did forgive you, but that doesn't mean I'm not still hurt, confused and angry. I just want answers, some of them to questions I haven't even consciously considered yet, but I know I need an explanation for. I know that frustrates you because it's vague and it falls into a grey area, but I don't know how to explain my thoughts any better than that right now. I want to know how you feel; what's going on in your mind? Why do you do what you do?" Unable to coherently phrase what she wanted, Sue Ellen sighed and emotionally asked a few leading questions; they needed to talk, she wanted answers and she needed closure, but for what specifically, she didn't really know. The past year had been an emotional rollercoaster, one she had never expected to experience, so deep down, although she had found clarity and happiness, she still held a lot of confusion, uncertainty and anger. It wouldn't be fun, but she needed to hear exactly what had driven JR to act the way he did in the past again, but more importantly, she needed to hear and understand what was so different now. Love was one thing, but power, manipulation, egomania and lack of respect had all been present somewhere and she needed to know what had happened to those thoughts.

To be continued…


	390. Doubt

**Dallas, Texas**

Closing his eyes and shaking his head lightly as the door closed and his patients left, Doctor Williams let out a small sigh. Even after many years of study and practical experience in his job, there were still times where he doubted and even sometimes regretted his professional decisions; today was one of those times. Up until the previous day, JR and Sue Ellen Ewing had been happy and seemingly unbreakable, but after opening his mouth and reminding them of their past, things had gone downhill. It wasn't that he thought his questions were wrong to ask, because if anything, the couples response had highlighted just how much they needed to talk about those things, however, he did wonder whether he'd made an error in judgement for when to bring up the topic at hand. Their usual Thursday appointment had been one where JR and Sue Ellen expected to update him on their lives and remind him and themselves how happy they were together, but his professional responsibility to help them deal with and move past issues meant that the comfortable, willingly ignorant environment was soon no more. It would have been unprofessional and irresponsible for him to allow them to pay him money to sit in his office for an hour and gush about their happy lives while he looked down at his notes and ignored the list of concerns and topics they needed to address before he could eventually discharge them from his care. Unfortunately though, the things he'd written down from previous appointments were quite contentious and as expected, had not made for pleasant or calm discussion.

During their Thursday appointment, the topic of conversation had gone from optimistic and happy as Sue Ellen recapped the latest happenings in their lives, to a cold, awkward silence as Doctor Williams steered the conversation in a more serious direction, the more distant future. Hearing questions of whether they thought their current happiness was a permanent thing, and how they planned to deal with life after they settled into a new routine, neither JR nor Sue Ellen had really had answers more than the standard, shallow, 'we'll come to it when we come to it' line. The lack of plan or forethought in their response had worried Doctor Williams, but their reaction to his further probing about the previous hardships they had faced and how they had dealt with them as a couple, as individuals and how they planned to never repeat that history again, worried him even more. He had met JR and Sue Ellen Ewing late into their marriage, so he had never heard their thoughts and feelings first-hand as they were happening, he'd only heard Sue Ellen's thoughts after her son was born and then after she'd found out that JR's infidelity may have had further reaching consequences than she'd originally been aware of. He knew enough from what Sue Ellen had told him though to know that whatever conversations and agreements they'd come to in the months prior had probably been ground-breaking at the time, but in hindsight, still didn't completely fix or clarify everything. He needed to help them by having them discuss and really understand what had gone wrong in their early marriage, so that they could be sure to never repeat past situations and be able to recognize when a situation was turning into something that would later be bad news. JR and Sue Ellen needed to be able to talk about their problems without feeling the same depth of pain and anger that they had originally felt, and they needed to be able to address the root causes of the thoughts and actions that had caused so much damage to their marriage. Additionally, he needed to probe deeper and find out how JR's mind worked and what he was thinking, because as it was, a lot of their past problems were due to the way he's justified things and how he truly felt about things, and thoughts like those weren't usually something that were easily changed. Unfortunately, from what Doctor Williams had experienced the previous day and over the past hour though, things appeared as though they were going to get worse before they could even begin to look like they were getting better. They were moving backward in hopes of moving forward and no one was particularly happy with things as they were right now.

Arriving at work that morning, he had looked at his scheduled patients for the day and seeing something surprising, he'd called the receptionist into his office. He had then been informed that Mr JR Ewing had left several insistent messages with the night phone service and then had called again just as the admin staff arrived in for the day, and as they kept open one space for research time or an extra, emergency appointment time, the Ewings were now due to see him again today. Hearing the word 'insistent', Doctor Williams' stomach had lurched; something dramatic had to have happened for JR to be the one insisting on another appointment, their third that week, and he had a fair idea of what it was. The way JR and Sue Ellen had ended their appointment the previous day hadn't been great, but it also hadn't been terrible; he imagined though that their reaction had worsened when everything they'd discussed finally settled in their minds and they had a moment to properly think about it all, because it was a lot to consider and respond to.

Meeting with JR and Sue Ellen in the late morning, his questions for himself and his professional judgement had started almost immediately as soon as they sat down. From what JR was shouting and Sue Ellen was shakily saying, it sounded like his questions had unintentionally brought back all of their confusion and frustration and they were looking for a quick answer as to why they still felt the way they did, even months after they had supposedly made amends. He couldn't answer their questions, he could only help them to examine their own thoughts and feelings in an effort to help them come to their own conclusions. He wanted to help them and he could help them, but it wasn't going to be the easy fix they were looking for. It was true, they had reason to be frustrated that they were in a constant loop of disagreement and upset over so few issues, issues that were currently resolved, however, it wasn't unexpected that that would be the case, because in his opinion, they had a lot more to discuss in therapy than what they already had on their own. He had managed to calm them down enough for each of them to voice their main concerns about the situation they were in now, but at the same time, their appointment today had really been one where they hadn't made much progress at all. He was glad they had chosen to ask for his help in getting to where they wanted to be, but they still had a long way to go and it certainly wasn't going to be a pleasant journey to happiness and peace.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: No chapter tomorrow. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	391. Perspective

**Dallas, Texas**

Listening to her friend revert to the confused, upset mess she had been for so long before the recent changes in her life, Paula couldn't help but feel a little sorry for JR. There were times where she'd absolutely hated him for what he'd done to Sue Ellen, but right now, she almost saw his perspective more clearly than Sue Ellen's. Sue Ellen absolutely had the right to demand answers and change from her husband, but she had to at least try to communicate that that's what she wanted, because if history had proven anything, it was that JR Ewing was a brilliant businessman, but he wasn't exactly emotionally intuitive. Sue Ellen had called her in a state of upset earlier in the day and she had immediately arranged to come and visit her, to support her, because although they both lead separate lives, she really did care about her, however, after meeting up with her and hearing the dilemma Sue Ellen was currently in, she suddenly had mixed feelings.

"Please don't be offended or upset by this, because that's not how I intend for it to sound, but have you actually considered what you want him to say? Because from everything I understand about your marriage, which, admittedly, isn't as much as I should know for someone who sees you as one of my best friends, it sounds like JR is trying and has been doing well, so I can see his perspective on the issue and why he would be frustrated now. As I said, please don't think I'm trying to upset you, because I'm not, but as your friend, I do think I should tell you that perhaps you're being a little bit too expectant right now. JR did horrible things and I don't think any of it is excusable, even with the reasons he gave, but you said it yourself, you two talked about it and decided together to move on and start over, and if I'm correct in understanding the situation, that's what you did. The situation with that awful gold-digger and her illegitimate child was something that never should have even had the opportunity to possibly be true, and the details about that situation were truly disgusting, but if you're looking at the event on a timeline, it happened in the past, before all of your renewed promises and second chances. If you're asking me for my honest opinion, I have to tell you that I think you need to decide how you feel before asking JR how he feels and demanding further changes from him, changes that you're not even sure will help."

"Ask yourself why you feel the way you do. Have you really forgiven him? Has he given you any reason recently to change your opinion on him as a husband and as a man? I really don't mean for it to sound harsh, because I'm on your side, I completely understand and agree with why you would be angry and hurt by his actions, but on the other side of that, I do think there has to be an end goal in sight, otherwise what's the point? You either love him, have forgiven him and are ready to move on with your life with him, or you haven't forgiven him and you're still holding all of his past mistakes against him; it might not necessarily be that way on the outside, but deep down inside you, you resent him in some way. Your feelings are valid either way, but you need to decide what you do feel and where you want to go to from here. JR seems like he's changed and he's really trying; you said it yourself, he's been faithful and your marriage has been wonderful these past few months, aside from the unfortunate reminder of the old him of course. I mention that only because I think perhaps you're overthinking the situation and really confusing yourself more than you need to. If JR is the husband you want him to be now, then don't punish him for that, and if you've forgiven him for his past mistakes, then really forgive him and move on, don't use it as a weapon against him."

"Of course, I could be completely off in my assessment of your thoughts, because I'm not you and I don't know exactly what's going on in your mind, but you asked for my perspective and opinion, so I'm giving it to you. I do have to say though, as I just said, I don't know exactly what you're thinking, and I'll openly admit that sometimes it takes a bit of guessing and piecing together information to come up with a response, so I don't think it's crazy for JR to be frustrated by this situation, you'd both probably benefit from clearer communication."

"I don't think the doctor's idea is such a bad one; write down your feelings and insecurities, write down what it is that's bothering you. Why do you feel hurt by events that you've supposedly moved on from? What exactly do you want JR to tell you? What can he say that will fix the situation and allow you to both move on with your lives? Is that even what you want? Do you actually want to forgive him and start afresh? Do you want a more detailed answer as to why you weren't enough for him? Was his answer relating to your miscommunication about ladylike behaviour and activities that were 'beneath' a lady not enough for you? Are there other things you want to know? Does he still battle with the temptation of other women? What stops him from being unfaithful? Why is he different now than he was before? Is he just acting the way he is because he knows he'll never be able to get away with it again and it will cost him his family if he does stray, or is he acting this way because he truly understands how wrong he was and has changed his entire perspective on life and marriage? Is he happy with the way things are now? Are you happy? Apart from this recent conversation with your therapist, has there been anything in your life that's reminded you of the bad times? When you think about how you were back then compared to how you are now, how do you see yourself as different or the same? What do you want for the future?"

"I think your feelings are perfectly valid and there's no shame in being confused, but I also think you really need to start sorting through your feelings and being honest with what you want and expect from JR. As I said before, I don't condone or expect you to like any of his past actions, but I do think you need to consider your feelings about whether they are the past him or the present him. I think giving him a little credit to acknowledge how much he has changed would probably be nice, for both of you. Right now, I don't think the lack of meaningful communication is doing either of you any good, but I don't think your marriage is a lost cause. You two have been through so much and you both understand each other a hell of a lot better now than you did in the past, but you're not perfect and it's not easy, but it is possible and I think some of the methods your therapist suggested are probably good ideas. You're my friend and I know I've said it before, so it may seem hollow, but I really do care about you and want the best for you, so I'm not going to lie to you and tell you things that I don't think will help the situation. Please, take everything I say as a sign that I care for you, not because I'm trying to hurt you, because that's the truth. I want you to be happy and I was thrilled that you had finally found happiness with JR these past few months, so I really want to help you regain that position in life and I think you can, as long as you're proactive, reflective and communicative". Hoping that Sue Ellen was listening and understood her intention in being honest and blunt wasn't to hurt her but to encourage her and give her a realistic perspective on the situation, Paula then waited for an answer, and as she watched Sue Ellen contemplate the situation and then smile weakly, she knew things were on the right track.

To be continued…


	392. Changed

**Dallas, Texas**

Arriving home to Southfork on Friday evening, JR was genuinely surprised when he spotted Sue Ellen and John Ross standing outside on the patio waiting for him. After their discussion yesterday and their lack of clarity in their meeting with Doctor Williams today, he hadn't been expecting to come home to such a normal, happy and loving situation, but now that he was, he wasn't complaining at all. Despite what the doctor, his wife, his family and everyone else that knew of him seemed to expect and believe, he actually did love Sue Ellen and his role as her husband and John Ross' father and seeing such a scene waiting for him when he returned home from work was wonderfully gratifying.

It bothered him that no one believed he could change and that everyone expected him to be the same insensitive, narrow-minded asshole he had been in his early marriage, because he wasn't and the lack of confidence everyone had in him really didn't help the moments where he did have thoughts reminiscent of the old him. Things were different now, he was different now, and he really wanted other people to understand that, but it seemed that no matter how insistent he was or how well he behaved, everyone always expected him to revert to his previous personality and demeanour and appeared to distrust that the recent changes in his life were actually real or permanent. It didn't matter that he was still the excellent, sometimes ruthless, businessman he'd always been and he still held the power and control of wealth he'd always held; people still seemed to find something suspicious about his behaviour now, because at the heart of it, it seemed that JR Ewing being monogamous was cause for suspicion and wariness. Of course, no one really said anything to his face and with Bobby in the business, he didn't need to attend as many social events as he had in the past, so his opportunities for judgement and belief were naturally less, but he could tell that where he'd previously held a lot of clout, his influence was slightly diminished now. That being said, although it was a little harder to negotiate and make deals using his methods, because as he no longer partook in enjoying the things that his hired women offered, people were more wary and suspicious of his motives, he was still a smooth enough talker that he hadn't lost the ability to make and secure deals. Overall though, the majority of his dealings in business now were of the lunch and office meeting kind rather than the parties, hookers and blackmail kind, so his exposure that side of life was limited, and while he never would've guessed it, he actually liked it that way, for the most part at least.

His father was obviously happy enough with his performance too, because even if it had been a reluctant agreement, he'd still promised and legally pledged Ewing Oil to him and seemed to be pleased with the situation as it was; he was pleased to have each of his sons on a good path in life. Even still though, JR wasn't naïve, he knew that people talked and judged and he knew that people's opinions of him had changed over the past year, and not necessarily all in a good way. It was a complicated situation, because he enjoyed the benefits way his reputation preceded him in some aspects, but not in others, at least not anymore. He was working on changing and rebranding himself though, he just wished others would take to his new personality and positive life changes as they were happening, not sit back and stare at his efforts to be a better husband with disbelief and doubt. He wanted his reputation as a strong, serious, brilliant businessman to remain, but if he had it his way, he'd rather the world forgot about his philandering and other personal misdeeds. For now, things were ok, but he had goals and hopes he wished to achieve, things that would be much easier to convince people of if he had his wife by his side, not by force or obligation, but because she truly loved and wanted to be with him. After the past few days of rocky relations between he and Sue Ellen, his confidence had begun to diminish, but now, seeing how happy both Sue Ellen and John Ross were that he was home, he suddenly felt a little better and his hope for a good, happy future began to return.

"Da!" hearing John Ross verbally acknowledge his presence and seeing him squirming in Sue Ellen's arms, JR's mood brightened. He'd always wanted a son because he was expected to have a son, but now that he had one, he realised there was so much more to being a father than simply having someone to carry on the Ewing name. He'd never known he was capable of giving and receiving so much familial love and now that he had experienced it, he never wanted to lose it. The love he had for Sue Ellen was completely different to the love he had for John Ross, but they were both equally as important to him and he wasn't interested in returning to a life of shallow, momentary pleasure; he liked giving and receiving love, there was nothing more appealing or pleasurable. Looking at Sue Ellen, he received small, but genuine smile, causing him to feel wholly confused; she looked both happy and concerned and he didn't really understand why. What he did know for sure though was the doctor was right; they couldn't keep doing what they were doing; they had to talk, properly, because their miscommunication and assumptions of each other's feelings without actual evidence was causing more problems than it was solving. Even now that was the case, because after grappling all day with trying to understand what exactly it was that she wanted from him, what it was that would allow her to stop seeing him as the man he had been in the past, he really didn't have the answers. He didn't know what she was thinking and her lack of verbalisation of her thoughts was frustrating, as was her sudden change in attitude toward him. He was confused, she was confused and as the hours, days, weeks and months passed that they held their feelings inside them, acting as if everything was ok on the outside, but inside, allowing their resentment to grow, the end result would not be good. No, the doctor was right, they needed to talk properly: honestly and openly, and they would, tonight, whether she wanted to or not.

Earlier in the day, he had done exactly what the doctor had told him to do, he had written down all of his current feelings, past feelings and reasons for his actions and then most importantly, what he wanted and what he saw for their future together. He'd been reluctant to do it, because the idea of being so emotionally expressive, especially on paper, didn't really appeal to him, especially when it related to old, tired topics, however, after doing it, he understood why the doctor had recommended it and why people found it freeing. Writing everything down had given him a place to put all of his thoughts and a space to arrange them in a way that wasn't a confusing mess. He had answers and he wanted to share them with Sue Ellen; he wanted to help her understand him and he wanted to understand her, so he really hoped she'd taken their task as seriously as he had, because he was ready, ready to get everything out in the open and ready to move on from their turbulent past. "There's my boy", opening his arms as he reached his wife and son, he temporarily shelved his thoughts and focused on the present event, because right now, that was the most important thing happening.

To be continued…


	393. Overture

**Dallas, Texas**

Watching JR as he gently closed the door to John Ross' nursery, Sue Ellen's stomach flipped. It was time, time for their talk, and for the first time in a long time, she was very nervous to be alone with her husband. She had made her list, she had written out and attempted to organize her thoughts, feelings, questions, expectations, and she had to admit that both Paula and Doctor Williams had been right, it was freeing and helpful to get it all out of her head and down on paper. She suspected that the identifying and recording of her thoughts was the easy part of the task though and the hard part was yet to come; she still needed to actually communicate her thoughts to JR, hopefully without making things worse. Surprisingly, JR had seemed more receptive to the idea of talking than she had expected him to, especially after their past two discussions had turned into disagreements and emphasised their frustrations at the situation they were in. On one hand, she was annoyed with Doctor Williams for bringing everything back into her mind, because she had been extremely happy with the way their lives had been going these past few weeks and months, and she could have happily kept going on that path, she liked that path. On the other hand though, she understood what everyone was saying when they spoke about needing to get things out in the open, because it was true, she and JR did need to get to the bottom of their problems so that they could move beyond them once and for all.

Arriving home after work earlier in the evening, JR had made the decision that he and Sue Ellen would talk about their problems later on, whether she wanted to or not, so now, after following their usual routine and putting John Ross down for the night, it was time. Surprisingly, he hadn't actually had to ask her to make sure she was free to talk that evening, because before he could bring it up, she'd done it herself, she'd told him that she'd done a lot of thinking and writing and she was now more prepared to talk than she had been before. He wasn't really sure what to expect from their conversation, because if their previous ones were anything to go by, her thoughts were a jumbled mess, not unlike his own before he'd done a lot of thinking, but if she was requesting time alone for the two of them to talk, something must be clearer to her.

In the back of his mind, he was a little worried that perhaps her thinking had allowed her to come to a conclusion that he probably deserved, or at least the old him did; perhaps she had thought about it and decided that enough was enough and with their circle of problems, permanent separation was the best option for them. He didn't know what he would do if she wanted a divorce, because that's the last think he wanted and he hoped that it was the last thing the man he was now deserved. He couldn't deny that the old him probably did deserve it though, she had stayed far too long with him and although he loved her for doing so, he also felt sorry for her having to make that decision and live in the situation she'd chosen. He was now a different man to the one who she had shockingly discovered existed underneath his loving, faithful façade. He was a different man to the one she had run off to Austin to get away from, and he was a different man to the one who had tried to force her back into his life by cutting off her access to financial support. He knew it, she knew it, everyone knew it; he had been a terrible excuse for a husband and she had been both a wonderful and stupid woman to stay around while he made a mockery of their wedding vows. What they both knew too though was that there had been two huge reasons why she had stayed, why she had forgiven him, why she had given him more chances than he deserved and why she was with him now; simply put, she loved him and love was blind. There had been other motivations for her staying, social, financial and familial security being just a few, but mostly, she had given JR chance after chance because she loved him and she truly wanted the best for their marriage. It had taken JR a long time to finally get his act together, and he couldn't and would probably never be perfect, but now, finally, after just over two and a half years of marriage, he was certain that everything could and would work out successfully.

Opening the door to their bedroom, JR waited for Sue Ellen to enter in front of him, and as she did so, he appreciated her appearance. Silently, he hoped that their lifelong commitment to each other wouldn't be ending anytime soon, because he knew what he wanted, he wanted her, all of her, and no one else. If she didn't want him though, then he wasn't going to force her to stay, he wouldn't force her into a life she didn't want. She hadn't actually really given him any indication that she was on the brink of leaving him, but after the past few conversations they'd had and her vague talk of thinking and deciding what she wanted, he knew he had to prepare himself for anything. He had to be ready to react as the man he wanted to be and believed he had developed into, not revert to his old, controlling and domineering demeanour. Watching her as she walked over to her nightstand, opened a drawer and removed a small notepad, he was surprised when she spoke as she turned and walked toward him. "Do you think perhaps we could talk somewhere less intimate? I did a lot of thinking and writing and I really mean it, I want to talk, we need to talk, but if we can, I think perhaps somewhere other than our bedroom is a better idea". She didn't really explain why she wanted to get out of the bedroom, but JR wasn't stupid, when she said she wanted to talk, she meant just that, talk; a rushed conversation, brushed over feelings and then inevitable make-up sex was not what she had planned and she was taking precautions to ensure they did talk properly before anything else. Nodding, JR mumbled a few words of agreement, walked over to his attaché case, retrieved his own notes and then motioned toward the door, "after you". Watching her as she moved in front of him, his thoughts were confirmed; he loved her and he wanted her, and he was going to do everything in his power to make sure she understood that and agreed with him.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: I promise, communication will happen soon. There won't be a chapter tomorrow. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	394. Conversation

**Dallas, Texas**

Sitting next to JR on the couch in the Southfork office, Sue Ellen's mind flitted through a million different thoughts. Physically, the couch was a good place for their discussion to be taking place, it wasn't too formal and it put them closer to being in an equal and neutral position than sitting at the desk did. As part of the wider setting though, she was very thankful that they had plans to move into their own home soon, because trying to find a private space to talk at Southfork was both inconvenient and annoying. Her opinion on the location of their discussion was really secondary to her opinion on the actual discussion though, however, in a way, she felt more comfortable thinking about the office location than she did about their real issues. If what she was hearing was the truth of the situation from JR's perspective, then perhaps her own thoughts had been a little too hasty and judgemental and if that was the case, then perhaps Paula was right, perhaps she did resent him more than she had originally assumed; she didn't think that was true, but perhaps subconsciously it was.

After leaving their bedroom and settling in the office together, there had been an awkward silence followed by both JR and Sue Ellen speaking at the same time; each of them had so much to say but they were also both cautious of being the first one to say something. After breaking the silence together, JR had motioned for Sue Ellen to speak first; he had things he wanted and needed to get out, but before he did, he wanted to gauge exactly where her mind was, because when he'd made his list he'd been pretty confused about exactly what their newly antagonistic attitude toward each other was actually about. What had followed had surprised him; he'd been aware that Sue Ellen had a lot on her mind, that had been obvious to everyone, however, the sheer number of different thoughts, feelings, opinions and questions she had was shocking to him. It annoyed him that she'd led him to believe that she'd forgiven him, that everything was good between them and she didn't hold grudges or resent him, but he'd then found out that that wasn't entirely true and she was still bothered by a lot of their past experiences, however, he understood why that was and why she needed answers. For Sue Ellen, the past few months had been a long, complicated journey toward discovering who she actually was, independent of her titles and expected behaviours under her mother and husband, so naturally, now that she was getting professional help and truly discovering her own self, she had a lot of curious thoughts.

Running through a long list of things she had always wondered about, and receiving logical, honest and apologetic answers from JR, Sue Ellen didn't know how to feel. She didn't doubt that JR was a different man now than he had been before, and he did seem to be that man because he wanted to be and because he'd seen the error of his ways and didn't like who he had been, but what if that wasn't his only motivation? Naturally, it made sense that her and his father's opinions and treatment of him would influence his behaviour, but what if that was the only reason why he was acting like a better man? She wanted to believe that that wasn't true and that his change was more than just a reaction to him disliking how he was treated when he was a known philanderer; she wanted to believe that he was a better man because he cared and because being a faithful, kind husband and person was the right thing to do. She wasn't quite sure if she did believe it though; JR Ewing was no stranger to mind games and manipulation; what if this was just another situation he was bending to his advantage? What if he was acting the way he was because he realised he had no other options right now, but in the future, as soon as the opportunity arose, he took it? If he was unhappy with the way things were now, then she didn't doubt that he would be eager to change that situation as soon as he could get away with it. She had married a man who liked to get his way and enjoyed the things power and money afforded him and she needed to be sure that the way he saw life now was different to that perspective, because if it wasn't, then they were sure to face more problems in the future. Doctor Williams' questions had set off a series of thoughts in her mind; she wanted answers and she would probe and ask for things to be repeated until she understood and was satisfied.

"…Julie Grey?" looking down at her list, Sue Ellen moved on to the next topic. They had discussed their recent past and how she was pleased and proud of his change into the man he appeared to be, a loving, faithful and devoted husband and father, however, their recent past was just a small part of their overall relationship and to come to terms with everything, she needed to know everything. "Julie… Julie was a mistake. We'd known each other for a long time and before you and I were together, we were both single and free to do whatever we wanted, so we did. I admit, keeping a close, personal relationship with her after you and I were together was not a smart or fair thing to do, and I apologise for the hurt I caused you by maintaining that relationship, but I do want you to know that it is part of my past, not who I am now. I've explained this before, but I want to clarify it again, because I know you wonder; Julie was the exception to the rule, we were friends, we understood each other but didn't expect anything more than what we had, but every other woman I was with meant nothing, they were just women, nameless, faceless women. I was an egotistic, rich, powerful and selfish man and with that came an entitlement and ability to fulfil the needs and wants I thought I was entitled to. I had you and that should have been enough, but for me and who I was back then, it wasn't enough, not physically at least. Is that a right or nice thing to think? No, but it's the truth. I wasn't strong enough or mature enough to realise that monogamous meant monogamous, not selectively monogamous, so I had rules and exceptions, but I understand now that that was wrong and hurtful and I truly apologise for the way I acted and treated you back then".

Explaining a few things, JR paused for a moment and then continued his explanation, hoping that even if she didn't really understand, at least she had the information to consider and could stop questioning whether it was her that had forced him to behave the way he had. "I never pushed you into doing what I wanted and what you wished to wait until marriage for, because I loved and respected you and could see the bigger picture. With the amount of talks your mother gave both of us about proper behaviour, my thoughts about you became very compartmentalised; I wanted you, but I would never disrespect you by treating you the way I treated other women. I know later on those thoughts caused problems for us, because we didn't communicate to each other about our preferences and what we both enjoyed, and I know or at least I think we've moved past that, however, I want you to think back to a time before we came to that understanding. I used other women to fulfil my selfish desires; I wanted what I wanted and being JR Ewing meant I could get it, so I did. At the same time and mixed in with those selfish thoughts, I had you and our relationship and I knew I couldn't ruin it by doing something that would upset you or give you the opportunity to see a dirtier, rougher side to me, so I reasoned that by using other women to satisfy me, I was assisting our relationship. It's not right, it's not just and I know excuses sound hollow and stupid, but I don't have any other explanation, because it's the truth. Our relationship is long-term, I want us to be together forever, I think I knew that very early on, and emotionally, I liked it, but I'm not perfect and our relationship was the first time I'd ever had to refrain from doing exactly as I wished with my personal life. All I can say now is that I'm sorry and I completely understand why you were and probably are still angry with me, because what I did was a horrible thing and you didn't deserve it, not at all. Being in a monogamous relationship, especially one as serious as marriage, means that you no longer just have to think of yourself and your own desires, I understand and believe that now, but it took me a while. I was selfish, immature and egotistic, but I'm different now, I see things differently and I have a better appreciation for everything you and I have."

"As well as that, the way you and I have been these past few months has squashed any 'need' I may have had in the past, because you and I are on the same page. You helped me become who I am now, I needed someone to finally tell me to quit acting the way I was acting and show me that my actions have real consequences. I'm sorry that it had to happen the way it did, because it wasn't fair to you to have to deal with any of that, but I'm glad we were able to move past it. I don't know how to fix the way things are now, but I want to try, so I'm here to answer any questions you have. I want us to be able to be open and free with each other and I will do what it takes to get there. I know you wonder if the way you stood up to me was the only reason why have changed and now act the way I do, so I'll answer right now; no I am not just acting this way because I'm afraid of the consequences if I don't. I truly want the life you and I have made for ourselves, I want our family, and the personal relationship you and I have, I like that and I don't want to lose it, especially not over some disposable, meaningless women. I think the talk we had a few months ago was really necessary for the development in our relationship, but now that we have passed the things that were causing me issues and affecting you indirectly, I don't think we have current problems, aside from this one of course. Simply put though, I love you, I have you and our marriage gives me everything I desire and need. I love the life we've made for ourselves; I love that we're working on creating our own home, I love that we spend time alone with John Ross, I love that you seem happy, I love that I'm happy, and I love that we're forming lives for ourselves that don't repeat the past mistakes we and our parents have made. I like that you're there for me when it comes to business and family issues and I love that you and I are on the same page with our wants for the future, opinions on certain issues and other things. I like being married to you and I don't want to ruin that. It took me far too long to realise how immature, selfish and despicable I was acting, but I realise it now and I hope you believe me when I say I'm sorry and I want to prove to you that I am a better, different man now. I love you and I know we've had a rocky past, mostly because of my own ego and selfish attitude and actions, but I think we have finally gotten to a place where things are different and are looking positive, so I want to stay on that path. I want you to want that too though".

Falling into a long, somewhat rambling explanation of his past behaviour, JR looked at his wife's expression as he spoke. It appeared that she was thinking and a million different thoughts and emotions were running through her as she listened. At last though, as he got past the pitiful excuses for why he'd thought it acceptable to be the man he had been and moved into the reasons why he was a changed man now, he could tell some progress was being made. It was true, he had taken a long time to realise it, but Sue Ellen was the one woman who could offer him everything and he in turn wanted to offer everything to. Their relationship was more open, honest and free now and he truly enjoyed marriage and all the benefits that came from being married. He loved her and he finally understood that life meant more with her than it did without her. As well as that, he finally understood that things on her side of the marriage weren't that much different to his; she wanted to feel useful, loved, supported and happy and she wanted to get those things from him, not some random man. If she had wanted someone else, she would have married someone else, but she hadn't; she had chosen him and he had chosen her and it had taken them a few years to really fall into a good rhythm and discover the small things about each other, but now that they had, he felt wonderful about being a married man. Marriage wasn't something that was meant to make him feel trapped, it was something that showed how secure each of their feelings about each other were. Watching Sue Ellen processing everything he had said, he waited in anticipation. She would probably have more questions, but that was ok, he had answers, he was motivated and determined and this time, he had good behaviour on his side. He had been a good husband and he had no plans to revert to his old behaviour and by the end of their talk, he hoped she would understand that.

To be continued…


	395. Young and Beautiful

**Dallas, Texas**

Feeling a mixture of embarrassment and relief, Sue Ellen was silent for a moment before looking at JR and quietly thanking him and reiterating her love for him. Falling back into another silence, she then looked down at her notepad to assist her in working out what she wanted to say next, though as she attempted to read, her vision became blurry as tears welled in her eyes. She was thrilled that JR had just confirmed his feelings for her and his commitment to their marriage, but as well as that, he'd also confirmed that a large part of why he was content with their marriage now was because of their physical relationship. She was twenty five, not old at all, but certainly not the young, fresh-faced college girl and pageant queen she had been when he'd first met her, and even back then, he'd felt the need to seek other women. She believed him when he said his selfish, entitled attitude as well as his opinion on what was proper had been the factors that contributed the most to his unfaithful actions, however, she also had an inkling that perhaps it was just him acting on his natural urges; if he saw pretty women and wanted them, then he had them. For now, she was enough for him, because she was a beautiful, young, former pageant queen who freely participated and enjoyed participating in the things that excited him, but who was to say that he would be pleased with her forever?

JR was almost eight years older than she was and from what she could tell, apart from his former fling with Julie, he had no interest in women closer to his own age; he liked younger women and that was fine, for now, because she was relatively young herself, but what about the future? If in his thirties, his eye was for women in their twenties, what would happen when she reached her thirties? What would happen in the decades beyond that? She was beautiful and took good care of herself, but she would never again be as fresh-faced and supple-skinned as a twenty year old. Her mother had made sure she knew what even just a little bit of age did to a woman's chances of finding a good husband, finding work within the modelling industry and just in general, how she was viewed by other women, and the moral of those 'lessons' hadn't been pretty or positive. Why she listened to her mother was a mystery, because Patricia was an unhappy, unmarried, middle class woman who spouted judgemental nonsense most of the time, so what authority she actually had to give advice on the things she did was fairly non-existent, however the base ideas of what she had drummed into Sue Ellen's mind weren't entirely unbelievable. JR was happy with her now; he was committed and engaged in their marriage and believed that their future together would be wonderful and fulfilling, she understood and believed that now, but instead of bringing her instant relief, it simply moved her worries further into the future. Would he still be interested in her when she was fifty? Or sixty? Or beyond that? Was he committed to growing older together and staying together like his parents had? Was he prepared to allow time and natural aging to change the way they expressed their physical love for each other? It was probably a shallow, trivial thing to wonder about, but she did and she needed to know that he had thought about it and still felt the same way. Of course, JR wasn't aware that that's what she needed and wanted reassurance about, because instead of verbalising it, she simply wept, first starting out softly and attempting to hide it, but then as she was unable to, sobbing more heavily, eventually ending up in a familiar, comforting position.

As he watched his wife silently dissolve from strong, demanding woman into a sad, emotionally damaged young lady, JR felt terrible; he was one of the main reasons why emotional distress was such a common thing in her life and it was both upsetting and confronting for him to see how his actions had affected her. He didn't know exactly what it was that he'd said to make her react this way right now, but he knew it had to have been something related to his previous speech and that was enough for him to blame himself. He was a changed man and he was committed to remaining that way and doing right by her now, but that commitment obviously didn't just automatically rid their relationship of its previous issues. He had been frustrated that no one seemed to believe his change was real and everyone seemed to expect him to revert to his old self at any time, however, he understood it now; it was obvious that his actions had had a huge impact on Sue Ellen's perception, and the healing process wasn't going to be quick.

Naturally assuming the role of comforter as she began to cry, he didn't say anything, but did everything he knew how to to show her that he was there and she wasn't alone. Judging from the length of the list on her notepad and from the things he knew were on his that they hadn't gotten anywhere near discussing yet, he knew their overall discussion wasn't over, but their discussion for the moment certainly was. It was ok with him though, because although he felt awful that she was most likely crying because she'd remembered something he'd done to her in the past, he couldn't help but feel pleased that she was seeking comfort from him instead of lashing out at him by slapping him or something similar. They had so much to say to each other and clearly he needed to keep making an effort when it came to showing her how different he was, because she was probably uncertain again about whether he was serious, however, he had no problem doing that. He hadn't been lying or faking it the past few months and he hadn't been lying earlier in the evening when he'd verbalised his thoughts and motivations; he'd seen the error of his ways and he was changing, but naturally, after the way he'd acted in the past, it wasn't an easy thing to suddenly begin believing. Instead of getting angry or upset about that disbelief though, he would instead do exactly what he was insisting he was capable of and willing to do and what he had been doing; he would act like the husband she deserved, the husband she wanted. Hopefully, after a while, things would naturally grow and she would begin to understand just how serious he was.

To be continued…


	396. Growing Frustration

**Dallas, Texas**

Pulling herself together after a few minutes, Sue Ellen dabbed her eyes and steadied her breathing before allowing other thoughts to enter her mind. She was a stronger woman now than she had been in the past, but she wasn't without her insecurities, and as well as her worries about JR's physical attraction to her, she worried about the temptations he faced in life and whether she was and their marriage was enough to stop him from straying. She needed to know the answers to a lot of questions, but in a split second decision, she chose an entirely different topic to ask him about than the one she had just been crying into his arms about. He was probably extremely confused by her mood swings and lack of communication in a discussion that was supposed to be focused on communicating, but in the moment, she wasn't thinking about that; her thoughts were coming at her hard and fast and she was verbalising things at random.

Looking directly at JR, she spoke in a strong, direct tone, unlike the one she had been using just a few minutes earlier, when she had been an emotional mess, crying into his shoulder and seeking comfort like the needy, love-hungry child she had once been. "What stops you? In the moment, not afterwards or when you're in a neutral situation where you clearly remember our wedding vows and how much you love me. What stops you when you're at a business lunch or dinner where naturally, as is the JR Ewing way, there is an accidental meeting with a few eager and compliant women? What stops you when you're at the office and your daddy isn't there watching over your shoulder and giving Julie work to do? What happens when you're just living your normal life, perhaps doing some shopping or out with Bobby, what stops you from approaching other women or allowing things to go further if they approach you? How can you guarantee that we're never going to have to deal with another situation like the awful one with that girl and her baby just recently. I don't care that you weren't sober when you made that decision; drunk or not, you were still married, I was still your pregnant, unaware wife, and you endangered and disrespected our marriage and family. I've told you before, but I should probably say it again; I won't put up with any more misbehaviour, whether it's conscious or unconscious. I want your word, but I also want to know the thoughts behind why you feel confident you can make that promise".

Hearing her questions, JR was taken aback; of course he'd thought about the topic and he was confronted with temptations at times, but just hearing her actually directly asking him was a surprise and he was thrown for a moment when the words first came out of her mouth. What surprised him even more about the situation though was that she was once again, frustratingly, changing emotions, swinging from needy to accusatory in just a few seconds, giving him no time to adjust his own reaction. "I… I can't explain the way my mind works, it just does. It's like me asking you what allows you to be able to be in a room with men at charity functions, when you're out shopping or when you're out with your friends, without anything more happening? What keeps you in line? It's your love for me, your commitment to me and your human decency, but I assume there's something more than that too. Am I right? I can't explain it; I just do it". Shaking his head, he paused and took a moment to quell the frustration he was beginning to feel, though it was difficult, because whether he liked it or not, he was guilty of a lot of past wrongdoings and he couldn't blame her for being a little nervous and cautious about their future. He did wish though that instead of focusing so much on his past failures and bad behaviours, she would instead recognize that he was trying and succeeding now, because in his opinion, he was, and he deserved a little more credit than he received .

"Darlin', I don't know what you want me to say, because I've tried my best to explain it, but it always seems to lack the substance you're looking for. I try to be a better person and I think I have proven that I can be a better person, but instead of receiving free acknowledgement of my changes, I instead get questions about why I'm now acting that way. I want to and I try hard to, but to explain the inner, subconscious reasoning for why I do or don't do something in the moment is very difficult. I know I've explained my earlier motivations to you before, but those I know and I can tell you again; they may help, or they may not, but I suppose there's no harm in reiterating my past thoughts and why things are different now. Apart from my selfish, egotistic attitude, one of the main reasons why I sought and had other women was because I was lacking in satisfaction in one area of my life and I had a lot of uninformed thoughts regarding how you would perceive those desires. I have always been emotionally here with you and for a large majority of our marriage, I did try hard to be a one-woman man and I was a one-woman man, the way I was supposed to be. I don't know how much you think I played away, but it wasn't as often as you think. Business trips and meetings gave me space and opportunity to work out my pent-up frustrations, but apart from Julie and that gold-digger with the baby, there were no women in Dallas and no women I saw frequently. Despite how it may seem to you, I never went with other women to hurt you, that was just an unintentional consequence. I was trying to save you from having to see a part of myself that I was ashamed of, but now, after you and I resolved our issues that had to do with sex and what we both wanted, I no longer need other women to fill that void. It was a temporary, stupid solution to a problem that I thought was a problem, but have since realised was really not a problem and now that I know that, the inherent need and want for diversity is gone."

"As well as that, if you haven't noticed, things are a lot different now than they were back when all of this was a current issue. I don't like Bobby being in the business, but I'll admit that his presence and almost complete takeover of the public relations work has really taken away from the amount of time and number of opportunities I have to even think about cheating. My life now consists of office work, business meetings with businessmen that we've already made the initial contact and deals with, and at the office, daddy keeps Julie busy with work, but she also knows her place; she knows whatever we had was a mistake and it's all in the past now. I'm home every night; from my perspective, you and I enjoy a full and exciting life as a married couple and as parents; I don't take business trips; I don't go out with Bobby and the boys; I don't participate in any of the things that I may organize, as a favour or as blackmail in business. You know how I feel about all of that though? I don't hate it, I like it; I enjoy living this way. I want you to want to enjoy being married to me too though; I want you to be able to live your life without worrying that something is going to happen and you're going to be miserable again. I can apologise and explain my past to you, but I can't take it back and I can't erase the pain I caused you, and for that, I am truly sorry. I need you to work with me here too though. I'm working on being a better man and I honestly believe I have been a better man lately and have no plans to change that, but for any of my efforts to make a real difference to our marriage, you need to be on board too. I can explain my thoughts and actions a million times over, but in the end, you need to decide whether you believe me and whether you want to believe me".

Pausing for a moment as he finished answering her question, JR then spoke again, "so, do you? Can you? Tell me what you want and what we need to do to get there, but please, don't leave me in the dark about what you're thinking. I'm trying, so very hard, but I'm not the only one in this marriage". Laying out his feelings, he held back from asking whether she even wanted to remain married to him and whether she was going to hold a grudge forever and never allow their relationship to fully heal from his past mistakes. He was smart enough not to bring up that particular thought right now, because it would probably be counterproductive before he allowed her to digest and respond to what he'd just said. In the back of his mind though, the thought of a possible divorce was definitely present and he was worried, because despite the old him probably deserving that treatment, he didn't believe the new him did, and more than that, he didn't want that to be their future. He'd done a lot of horrible things in the past, but there had always been one constant; he'd always loved Sue Ellen and he always would. It was up to her to decide where she wanted things to go to from where they were now though, because he was in, but marriage was a two-person partnership and his want just wasn't enough. Watching her intently, he waited for her to comprehend what he had just said and respond to his questions.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thanks for all of the reviews lately. I love hearing different perspectives on the situation :) ****There will be no chapter tomorrow.**


	397. Request

**Dallas, Texas**

"Please, for the good of our marriage, keep Bobby around after you become president"; the words repeated in JR's mind a good few times before he fully comprehended what his wife was asking, and when he did finally process it, he didn't know how to react. He hadn't expected Sue Ellen to request such a thing of him, because he'd assumed she understood how much sole control of Ewing Oil meant to him, but apparently not, and now that she had asked him, he was in a tricky position, one he didn't like.

Had he made a mistake in admitting that his step back from hands-on work at Ewing Oil was one of the things that helped him stay on the straight and narrow? He had always planned to slowly move Bobby away from being involved in Ewing Oil when Jock retired and he became president, and Jock's action of assigning the ranch business to Bobby for future running had only assisted and supported his plans. Unfortunately, by admitting to Sue Ellen that what was happening right now in Ewing Oil was assisting his promise to stay faithful to her, he had just given her something concrete to request of him, something he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to do. Allowing Bobby to take over some of his less important responsibilities had once seemed like a good way of getting rid of him for long periods of time, and a good way to make sure he was never bored enough to request their father move him into a different role, one that encroached on JR's favoured area of the business. He had personally always enjoyed being the one who wined and dined potential business partners and was the public face of Ewing Oil, the man who travelled and promoted their company, making sure they were well connected and held information that would come in handy one day when they needed a favour. Giving all of that up was a small sacrifice when it came to what he gained though, especially since he was still responsible for local area meetings and since he wasn't exactly going without fun and satisfaction in his personal life. Despite feeling that way now though, he wasn't sure he would always feel that way and he wasn't sure he really wanted the opportunity to find out if he would always feel that way. He was set to gain majority ownership and control of Ewing Oil and Bobby was set to move into managing the ranch when Jock retired; it was a plan he was very comfortable and happy with and having Sue Ellen ask him to do differently didn't please him at all.

"Sue Ellen..." attempting to quell his frustration as he began to respond, JR spoke her name in a stilted tone. "Don't get me wrong, you know I want to mend our marriage and get past these issues, but I'm not sure that's the way to do it. Bobby being in the business solves one issue in our marriage, but it causes so many more and I don't think it's such a good idea. You know how important Ewing Oil is to me and you know how much I want it to be all mine and then eventually John Ross', provided that he wants it of course. Bobby is getting the ranch business, it's what daddy wants, what Bobby wants and definitely what I want; he'll be busy and happy and so will I. I don't see why I should or would give Bobby any part of Ewing Oil once it's mine, just as he probably wouldn't give me any part of the ranch, not that I want it, but for the sake of comparison. Things are settled, after a lot of hard work, negotiating and arguing and defending my rights; please don't ask me to go back to daddy or Bobby with a counteroffer. I know that request is a direct contrast to what I just explained to you and I understand why you would ask me to do it, but please, give me a little credit and at least try to trust me. Daddy's still at least a couple of years away from retiring and passing over control to me, so for now, nothing is changing; Bobby will split his time between Ewing Oil and the ranch, but neither of those affect my job responsibilities, so it's a non-issue for the moment. I don't know what our future will look like and I don't have an alternative solution to offer you here and now, but I do think that we can come to an agreement that we're both happy with. Don't make me promise to guarantee Bobby a role at Ewing Oil though, because I don't want that and I don't think I can comfortably agree to that, and since we're here trying to get things out in the open and come up with solutions to our problems, I don't want to make any false promises".

Apart from hoping to get on a clearer path toward forgiveness, understanding and a renewed happy marriage, JR hadn't entered the evening's conversation with very high expectations for his own gain. He had been prepared to admit his failures and wrongdoings and apologise for the hurt he had caused Sue Ellen, and he had been ready to make new promises of change, but this was too much. He couldn't and wouldn't promise to invite Bobby back into the company and he hated that she had asked him to do that; she should have known him better than that. Surely, after the experience of the past few months, she knew how much he had wanted Bobby out of Ewing Oil and how happy he had been when it had finally been announced. From what she was suggesting though, he wasn't so sure that that was the case. He was prepared to change certain things in his life and he had absolutely no plans to relapse into his old habits, but he didn't like being told what to do and how to do it, and he wasn't going to pretend that he did.

Watching Sue Ellen opening her mouth, getting ready to respond to his response to her request, he found himself remembering their sessions with Doctor Williams. He didn't particularly like the man and he didn't particularly enjoy the concept or experience of telling a stranger his and Sue Ellen's private business, however, the doctor was a medically trained and very experienced man and rarely did he do things that didn't have a reason or eventually lead somewhere enlightening. One thing JR appreciated right now was that doctor had made it perfectly clear that they were working their way toward a better marriage, not trying to simply brush over their old issues and repeat dealing with life the same way they had in the past. They needed to talk, listen, discuss, forgive and then come to a mutual agreement with each other, and that's exactly what he intended to do. Bobby would not be stepping foot in the Ewing Oil building as an employee after he was president, he was sure of that, however, instead of completely writing-off Sue Ellen's request, they would come up with a plan, one where they still achieved the same outcome, but he was happy with it too. It probably wouldn't be easy, but he was committed to their marriage, no matter how confusing, frustrating and ridiculous his wife could be sometimes.

To be continued…


	398. Inane

**Dallas, Texas**

Observing JR as he spoke, Sue Ellen immediately knew he was growing more and more frustrated by their conversation as it went on. He was doing his best, he was owning up to and apologising for his past sins and mistakes and he seemed to honestly want to change their future, and if the past few weeks and months were anything to go by, he was doing a good job at living by his promises. Unfortunately though, being able to hear and see the evidence of something didn't automatically equal a change in her mind and didn't just remove the pain of their past. In the moment, without thinking too much about it, suggesting that Bobby stay with Ewing Oil to remove the temptation and pressure in JR's life when it came to the highly social aspect of his job, had sounded like a good idea, however, thinking about it now, especially after JR had responded so negatively, she knew she'd made a mistake.

Taking a deep breath, she replied, her voice betraying her vulnerability. "I know how I should feel, I know how I want to feel, and I know how you want me to feel, but that doesn't necessarily mean I actually do feel that way. Logically and for the most part, emotionally, I know things are different now; we're different now, so I should give you and the overall situation the benefit of the doubt before I jump into assuming and preparing for the worst, but it's hard. I want to be free of the distrustful and resentful feelings and I want to be able to completely and honestly mean it when I say I forgive you, I trust you and I have no doubts about our marriage or our future together, but a small part of me is nagging in my mind, telling me to be cautious. I accept your apologies and reasons for why things happened, and I acknowledge and accept that you're really trying to be a different man and probably are a different man, but the man you were, that man hurt me and it's not that easy to just forget that pain".

"To answer your question though, when you asked me earlier in the evening what I actually want; I want the same thing I've always wanted and it's going to frustrate you, because I know you're trying and succeeding, but I can't control how my thoughts and feelings work sometimes. I want to know that when you say you want to be a better husband, you mean it, and I want to know that I'll never have to worry about your fidelity again. I want to be able to trust you when we're not together, because it's not healthy to be distrusting, but it's also not easy to just forget all of the pain of the past. I want to know that you respect me and love me enough that doing right by me is a default, not something you have to force yourself to do. You're saying and doing all the right things and I know you have been living that way for a while now, so I can't really blame you for finding this conversation repetitive and my feelings frustrating, because from where you're standing, you can't do any more than you already are. I get that, believe me, I do, but you know how emotions are; it's not easy to control deep thoughts and feelings". As she spoke, it became clear that she was getting emotionally worn out, just like JR was; it was tiring and frustrating going in circles, which is what they appeared to be doing, however, for some inane reason, they couldn't break the cycle.

"My suggestion that Bobby stay at Ewing Oil after your daddy leaves was one that was selfishly motivated and not particularly well thought out; I can acknowledge and accept that and I apologise if you were upset by what I said. I still agree with everything you fought for in your recent negotiation with your daddy and I still stand by my statements about your changes and what you deserve. Doctor Williams' brought up the past and it's messing with my mind. I hate feeling this way, because as I said a moment ago, logically and mostly emotionally, I know things are different; there's just one tiny part of me that is always looking for the downside of a situation…" Sighing in frustration as she tried to verbalise how she felt, Sue Ellen knew her thoughts came out sounding fragmented and shallow, lacking real depth or meaning, however, in the moment, she couldn't think straight, especially since what she was saying was mostly improvised, not spoken directly from the list of thoughts she'd planned to address in their discussion.

Doctor Williams had a lot to answer for; he had done this to her, to them; he had brought everything back into her mind and stirred up old feelings that weren't entirely relevant to their situation anymore. The past few months had been a time of tremendous change, positive change, yet for some reason, she was focusing on the negatives, specifically old negatives and hypothetical negatives. There were positives in their past though, and even some of the negative situations they'd been in had ended up positive in a way, so she knew she should've been thinking differently, but Doctor Williams had spurred a set of thoughts that were difficult to get out of her head. Sure, she had her doubts about their marriage and future, but she also had a lot of good, happy, positive thoughts and feelings about their marriage and future, and she really didn't know why her mind insisted on focusing on the upsetting side of life. The truth of the matter was that at the time she had defended JR to his father and professed her love for him and trust that he had changed and was capable of being a good husband, she had truly believed what she was saying and hoped that she hadn't been wrong, and so far, she hadn't.

She and JR were currently discussing old, resolved problems and hypothetical, 'what if' situations; it was different to their past arguments because this time, he hadn't actually done anything wrong and she had no real reason to be upset with him, especially not if she truly forgave him. It was all so confusing but also completely clear; she had been deeply scarred by the past and she allowed the pain of the past to impact on her current and future thoughts. It was easy to identify, but to get out of the habit of reverting to her wounded state was not so easy. She was willing to try though, really try, because although she had a lot of valid points when she asked JR to do something or explain how he planned to be different in the future, she also needed to acknowledge that his perspective was completely valid too, and in his defence, he had been a wonderful husband recently. Paula, Doctor Williams and JR were right; she couldn't punish him forever; eventually something had to change. She didn't want a divorce and she didn't want to repeat the past, so they had to figure out a way to move forward with their lives and that meant that she really had to figure out her own feelings and how to deal with future situations.

JR was a good husband now and she believed he was a better man too, so to punish him for his past sins was wrong and unhelpful. It all seemed so obvious in her mind and when other people said it; unfortunately though verbalising her feelings wasn't so easy or simple and she was sure that whatever she said probably came out sounding different to how she meant it. Doctor Williams had been the one who had caused the entire situation to reappear in the first place, however, he was also the one person who had a clear understanding and was qualified to make educated suggestions, so even though another visit to his office ran the risk of causing more problems, it was completely necessary. They would make another appointment to see him; perhaps she would even make a solo appointment to discuss how to separate her feelings about the past and her reactions to current and future situations. Whatever they did though, she hoped it would sort out their issues once and for all, because she was absolutely sick of feeling the way she did now, and she was sure JR was too.

To be continued…


	399. Muddled

**Dallas, Texas**

After making a few phone calls, Sue Ellen had achieved what she wanted and entering Doctor Williams' office hurriedly on Saturday morning, it wasn't long before she began to voice her opinion, speaking almost as soon as she caught sight of him. "Are you trying to cause arguments?! Are you trying to ruin our lives?! Our marriage?! Why did you have to bring up all of our old problems?! JR and I were happy and completely content with the direction our lives were heading in, until you decided to throw cold water on all of that and remind us of how far we've come, but at the same time, remind us that we haven't come that far at all. I get it, it's not good for your business if we're happy; our happiness means we'll soon no longer require your services and that means two less well-paying patients; that doesn't mean you're free to interfere and make more problems and work for yourself and for us though". Pausing only for a second, her opening rant was temporarily silenced by the maddeningly emotionless expression Doctor Williams managed to keep on his face; he was much too calm for his own good and it infuriated her, though what irritated her even more than his non-reaction was his verbal response. "What happened?" somehow, using just two words and a calm, professional tone, he managed to make her realise just how over-the-top she probably sounded.

"I'll tell you what happened; that damn list you suggested, it's like you were intentionally trying to upset me and damage my relationship with JR by forcing us to rehash old issues. You just had to suggest that JR and I make lists about those things in our past that are currently unresolved, or still nag in our minds sometimes. Well, you know what? We did it and instead of resolving things, it just made everything worse. I understand why you did it, because despite how I probably sound right now, I was calm at one point; that doesn't mean that I enjoy being put in that situation though, especially not in the way you did it. JR and I have a painful, dirty past, one we can never change and will always have to deal with knowing about, however, up until a few days ago, things were good, we had finally managed to put the past in the past and move on with our lives, the way they should have all along. Your damn list had us discussing the things that caused us the most heartbreak though and although I did get a little more insight into why certain things happened, I still don't think it helped us overall. To get to the future, we had to discuss the past and to be honest, I just want to forget the past. I wrote a list of all the things that are in the back of my mind, all of the reasons why I'm so nervous and worried when it comes to discussions of trust and complete forgiveness and willingness to not hold past mistakes against him. Do you know what came from my discussing those things with JR though? Nothing. Or at least, nothing different".

"Logically and for the most part, emotionally, I believe him, I really do, I think he's a different man now and I think he really does regret his past actions; at the same time though, I'm in a mental and emotional argument with myself when it comes to letting the past be the past. He says before we move toward any reconciliation, I need to sort out my emotions and decide whether I actually forgive him, or whether I'm just saying I do but I'm burying my true feelings, resentment and anger. He said he doesn't want a divorce, but he also doesn't want to have to keep apologising for things that he's apologised and is truly remorseful about and that I've told him I forgive him for. He says the past has to be in the past and if we're to get anywhere in the future, we have to be able to honestly say we've dealt with our issues and moved on. He's right, he's completely right. My notes say the exact same thing, but in more detail regarding specific issues. I want to be able to truly say I forgive him and won't allow his past to cloud my judgement when it comes to thinking about specific situations in the future, but right now, I can't honestly say that, and I hate it".

"What I want from you is simple, but at the same time, very complicated. I want to know why I've been seeing you for months and why I still feel this way. We discussed my childhood and teenage years; we discussed the influence my parents had on me; we discussed my relationship with JR, pre-Miss Moore and then with JR after that whole situation. We discussed my lack of individual identity and my identity as a woman in all the roles I take; we discussed what I wanted out of motherhood and life in general; we discussed in great detail the validation of my feelings and strategies for dealing with difficult and painful thoughts. Despite all of the things we talked about, together and in marriage counselling with JR here, I still can't honestly say I've forgiven him and can completely forget the past. I'm sure I'll be able to deal with negative things better in the future than I did in the past, but that doesn't mean I want to or feel prepared to allow things to take their own course. I want you to reassure me that these past few months haven't been a complete waste of time and money; I want you to assure me that I'm not broken and I'm not incapable of change and acceptance. I want you to tell me that I'm not to blame for this whole situation. Please, help me; help JR; help us. I need it. We need it".

Pausing for a moment as she relayed her thoughts to him, again verbalising things in a somewhat jumbled manner, despite having thought long and hard about what she wanted to say. It was all part of a wider problem she'd identified about herself; she was too wishy-washy and it came across in a lot of what she did. One minute she wholeheartedly believed and supported something and was able to easily and strongly articulate why she felt that way; the next minute though, she felt about two feet tall, shy, unsure, confused and pathetic. She wanted to be different; she wanted to feel strong and secure and be able to trust her husband again, because she loved him and she didn't doubt he loved her; they deserved another chance to make it work and she was no longer satisfied with attempting to solve her complex mental issues on her own terms. She'd initially appeared aggressive toward Doctor Williams, but that was really just her overall frustration coming to the surface; she needed his professional help and she was in his office early on a Saturday morning asking for his help.

Taken aback by Sue Ellen's dramatic entrance and subsequent angry ramble turned pleading speech, Doctor Williams' thoughts were confirmed; it wasn't a comfortable thing to bring back into JR and Sue Ellen's thoughts, but it was necessary if they wanted their fresh start to last. Sue Ellen's mixed up emotions were completely natural and normal and although he was sure they were probably becoming increasingly frustrating for JR to deal with, he couldn't and wouldn't tell her she was wrong to feel the way she did. She had to acknowledge that she wasn't the only one who was allowed to feel the way they did, without having a specific reason, but other than that, he wasn't going to make her feel any worse about her natural and somewhat uncontrollable thoughts and emotions. She was a patient that needed help, his help, and he intended to do just that.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: The overall theme here was inspired by one scene in **_**Mother of the Year**_**; the rest of the chapter is my own work. There will be no chapter tomorrow. Thanks for reading and thank you to everyone who regularly reviews :)**


	400. Timeless

**Dallas, Texas**

Pulling up outside their new home, Sue Ellen gasped at just how grand and magnificent it was. Although she and JR had been in their own little bubble recently, the progress on the old Wade ranch house, now the new Ewing house, was a reminder that life went on and they weren't the only people in the world. With JR's money and demanding attitude, their contractor knew exactly what he had to do and the timeframe in which to do it; Mr and Mrs Ewing would benefit from his expertise and ability to control the workmen, and he would personally benefit by doing everything he had been instructed to do and had promised to have done. Because of that, things were off to a good start and definitely on the right track for completion on time and on budget.

Walking toward the house, JR took everything in. Upon purchase, the house had been in a state of disrepair from years of lack of attention and general maintenance. At one time, peeling paint; damaged, broken wood; old, weathered and warped windowpanes and a number of other structural and cosmetic issues had been present. Now though, that image was all but a distant memory, because in just a few weeks, major work had been done on the exterior of the house and if the unkept landscaping hadn't been a tipoff, no one without previous knowledge of the property would've guessed it wasn't an occupied, well-maintained and well-loved home.

"Thank you", awed by the grand beauty and realisation that the large home was theirs and theirs alone, Sue Ellen's mind blanked and for a moment, forgot the current state of her marriage to JR. The life his wealth and ambition had provided them was absolutely lovely and she was extremely thankful that she was the one he'd chosen to share his social and financial privileges with. They had come to an agreement that neither one of them was in control of the other, however, as they both held somewhat traditional views of marriage, there had always been a little bit of an unspoken agreement that if Sue Ellen was to commit to something large, she would first run it by JR. It wasn't a necessity, just a courtesy, and it worked for them; she upped their social capital by socialising with the right people and donating to the right causes, and he upped their financial capital by working hard at Ewing Oil to be the best and do the best. In their own personal lives though, they were more or less equals; there was a give and take in what they wanted to do and what they did, and when it came to the topic of their living situation, that hadn't changed. If JR had still been a single man, or Sue Ellen hadn't made it clear that she wanted something different, he probably would've never even considered moving away from Southfork; however, he wasn't single, he had a determined and persuasive wife and a marriage that had been proven to benefit from having their own space, away from Southfork. When Sue Ellen had suggested they purchase their own home, JR had been receptive to the idea, though, he had also expressed a few concerns about the impact it would have on their relationship with the family, namely, his father. Luckily though, things seemed to have worked out and both Jock and Miss Ellie seemed pleased that they had purchased a property so close to Southfork. The house had needed a reasonable amount of work done to it and was still nowhere near ready, because apart from strengthening, nothing had been done to the interior yet, however, it was coming along nicely and both JR and Sue Ellen were extremely pleased to see that that was the case.

"You're welcome darlin'", responding in a quiet voice, JR didn't need it explained to him why she was thanking him. They were equals, but he was the one that had the ability to make things happen in such a fast, no-nonsense way, and she was thankful that he had used that ability to achieve this. They had marital problems that they hadn't yet completely resolved, however, right now, those things were the furthest thing from their minds. "This was a wonderful idea, your wonderful idea. None of the other homes we looked at were quite right, but this one is, I know it because I feel it. It's perfect; classic, timeless and beautiful. Just like you". Stepping onto the open porch that was supported by six large, square, white pillars, JR looked straight at his wife as they spoke. He meant every word he said; the large, white house was stunning and immediately captured the attention of anyone looking at it, just like Sue Ellen did. He wasn't comparing her to a house in an offensive way, all he meant was that the way she was awed by their new home was the way other people were awed by her presence all the time. She was a former beauty queen who had always had low self-esteem and he had always been surprised at how little she felt about herself sometimes; he wanted her to realise that her quality as a person, a person he admired and loved, wasn't based solely on appearance, it was based on a deeper connection. Sue Ellen Ewing evoked feelings in him that no one else had ever made him feel and it was one of the many things he absolutely loved and would always love about her. The house was the perfect choice for them and she was the perfect choice for him. They still had a number of things they needed to discuss with each other and although when they did attempt to discuss those things, he did grow frustrated, he also felt very positive right now. Visiting their new home and spending time with John Ross was a great reminder of the amazing things they had achieved together and he held hope that experiencing the good parts of their life again would have at least a small impact on her worries about the future. He was committed to being a better husband and he wasn't going to give her any reason to doubt that, but he was beginning to get worn out by repeating the same things to her over and over, so he hoped that she would soon start to understand and allow herself to trust that he was serious.

Hearing her husband's compliment, Sue Ellen blushed and smiled. She knew she was beautiful, but she'd always had a little bit of a hard time accepting that other people could think so much of her, so hearing JR complimenting her always gave her a little thrill. It really pleased her though that he had indirectly called her a classic, timeless beauty. No one could predict the future and no one could guarantee that he would always feel the same way about her physical appearance, but something inside her was telling her that that wasn't the big drama she had initially convinced herself it was. JR seemed to love her, in every way, and despite what the negative side of her mind tried to convince her sometimes, his affections weren't just skin-deep. Although she felt that way though, something inside her felt the need to ask for clarification. "A timeless beauty? How can you tell? I'm twenty five; hardly old enough for you to bestow that descriptor on me", speaking in a quiet voice, she looked up at her husband, wanting and needing reassurance. Her low opinion of herself and tendency to jump forward and worry about hypothetical issues probably made her look pathetic and needy, but at certain times, that's exactly how she was, and if JR loved her, he would do exactly what she needed him to do; he would reassure her, not berate her.

Crinkling his forehead, JR was both confused and a little frustrated. Somehow, even in giving her a compliment, she managed to find a way to question his feelings for her. He was aware though that although she was stronger now than she had been in the past, that didn't necessarily mean she wasn't still a little vulnerable and didn't still need reassurance of his love for her. He had hurt her a lot in the past and the way her mother had raised her had definitely impacted the way she perceived certain things; because of that and because he wasn't a heartless bastard, he did what she needed him to do and he did it without making it into a bigger issue than it was. "How can I tell? I just can. From the moment I laid eyes on you at the Miss Texas pageant, I knew you would win, because not only were you an extraordinarily pretty young lady, you had something else about you too, something that exuded class and humbleness. You were shy, but confident; you were sexy without trying and without flaunting every asset you have; you were smart and genuinely seemed to care about the topics you were answering on; and the combination of all of those things was just devastating. You're right, you're only twenty five, but I don't think that makes any difference to my assessment. I call you a timeless beauty now because I still see all of those qualities in you and I don't think they'll disappear any time soon; you are you, and by that I mean you are so much more than a pretty face. Saying that though, I really do think you're a timeless, classic beauty physically too. You're young and we've only seen each other grow older by five and a half years, but in those five and a half years, I've seen enough of your personal care routine to know that you take a lot of pride in your appearance and I don't see that changing in the future. I have no doubt that you'll always be beautiful; I foresee you aging gracefully, probably more gracefully than I will, but even if you don't, I really do think your overall demeanour enhances the way you appear to people. None of that really matters too greatly though; I love you, all of you, and I married you for life, not just for the next few years. Twenty five, forty five, sixty five, eighty five, it doesn't matter, I will always love you. Please, never forget that". Switching into supportive husband mode, he found himself lost in the moment as he spoke; she honestly had no reason to worry about her age, which is what it sounded like she was worried about, so if she needed reassurance that she didn't need to worry, then the least he could do was give it to her.

Although she and JR weren't in a perfect place in their marriage overall, in the moment, Sue Ellen had no thoughts other than the ones relating to his comforting and encouraging comments. Once again, she was making a big deal about something that didn't really require deep analysis; JR was wonderful though, instead of getting annoyed by her, he was doing exactly what she needed and wanted him to do, helping her work through her fears and repairing the gap in her self-esteem. She was well aware of how frustrating her mood swings could be, but until she was past the peak of an issue, it was difficult for her to recognize when to rein in her emotions. "Thank you. I love you JR, so, so much…" thanking him for his kind words and reciprocating his statement of feelings, she didn't elaborate on how she felt about her own behaviour or how good he was to her to go along with it. Instead, she simply leaned up and kissed him, slowly and softly at first, but after a few moments, allowing it to turn into something more heated and passionate. She was probably confusing the hell out of him, because the past few days had been awful for them and in contrast, their day so far had been the complete opposite of awful; whether she was confusing him or not wasn't really at the forefront of her mind in the moment though. It wasn't the end of her personal issues or their marital issues, she still needed to sort out her inherent thoughts and behaviours in the future, but for now, she was content to enjoy a closeness with her husband that she had sorely missed.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: The way the house is described is loosely based on the miniseries Southfork. It's not necessarily the same house as the Box Ranch, but for visual inspiration, I did look at a number of photos of that house and others built in a similar style.**


	401. Forgiveness

**Dallas, Texas**

"…because, in the past, his actions have really hurt me…" looking at Doctor Williams as she spoke, Sue Ellen's sentence was cut off by his hand gently motioning toward JR; "don't tell me, tell JR". Turning her body slightly, she then redirected her attention toward her husband and paused for a moment as she collected her thoughts. She had done a lot of thinking over the past week, but nothing had cleared her mind more than their visit to their new home. It was silly to put so much energy into mentally reliving and analysing the past, because no matter how hard she tried, it had happened and nothing could change that. What she and JR could change though was their future; if she would just give him a chance, their life circumstances had all the makings of a happy future. She needed to get everything out in the open, but once she did and once she was satisfied that JR's apologies and changes were honest and real, she then needed to forgive him and move on. It was absolutely useless to hold so much against him all while pretending to have forgiven him; doing that would only lead to overreactions and eventual deep resentment. No, she needed to say her piece, accept his word if that's how she truly felt and then move on; it was the only way they had any chance of making their marriage work.

"Our past has had a lasting impact on me, so it's hard for me to just accept things without first analysing them and questioning them. Sometimes I feel like we've done this too many times before and had it go bad, so this time can't be any different. I want it to be different and I believe it will be different, but it takes a lot of mental and emotional energy to get to that place of acceptance in my mind now. The first time you admitted to being with another woman, when we were first dating, I was upset, but you genuinely seemed to be distraught that you had done something like that, so when you apologised and promised it would never happen again, I believed you and forgave you. That wasn't the end of it though and months later, I found out that you and Julie had a much more intimate relationship than what you'd led me to believe. At that point, I probably should have been firmer in my position; I left you for a time, but you managed to sweet-talk your way back into my life. I knew we hadn't really figured anything out, but I was so in love with you that I didn't care and I didn't want to listen to anyone who gently reminded me that perhaps accepting your word at face value wasn't the brightest idea".

"Skip forward a few more months and things were back to being wonderful again, but for some reason, despite it really being time, you couldn't or wouldn't commit to making our relationship more permanent and serious. I don't know if I ever told you, but I had so many worries and fears during those months after graduation, after losing the Miss America pageant and after my job with the magazine ended; I was nothing and no one and I couldn't understand why you didn't want to give me something permanent. I don't know if I really want to know, because I think I know the answer, but at times I couldn't help but wonder if our entire marriage was some strange series of events that possibly should've never happened. I don't mean that now, because I love you so much and even with everything that's happened to us, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else or living my life with anyone else, but I do wonder if perhaps although I was so sure marriage was the next step for us at the time, perhaps it wasn't. I think we could have avoided a lot of heartache if I had been stronger and voiced my opinion louder, and I do regret that I didn't, but I can't change my past, just like you can't change yours, so there's no point in getting upset with myself for not being stronger. All I can do is learn from that experience".

"You've said in the past that your infidelity wasn't something that was regular and although it's some comfort, I do still think it's stupid for you to have even thought any unfaithfulness was an acceptable amount, because in a committed relationship, it's not. However, as we have discussed and decided before, it's in the past and we can't change the past. I believe you have changed now and I believe we have moved on from the main reasons why your infidelity occurred in the first place, so if you are honestly telling me it will never happen again, then I forgive you and I promise that I truly mean that. I know I have a part in the situation currently and it's not fair for me to repeatedly bring up old issues, especially not as a form of punishment. I admit that in the past, I held some resentment toward you even after we'd told each other that we were in a better place, but now that I am here, in my mind, I know that in the past, I wasn't completely in that frame of mind, but I am now and I'm ready to move on. I hope you can forgive me for being so up and down in the past; I know now that I wasn't as right as I'd originally thought".

Speaking directly to JR, as if Doctor Williams wasn't there, Sue Ellen covered her main thoughts regarding infidelity and her worries in their early relationship. She felt the need to return to that time in their relationship because despite having discussed extensively the infidelity that had taken place within their marriage, they had never really gone back further than that. Staying quiet for a moment as she watched JR processing what she was saying, she was pleased and unsurprised when he gave her a small smile, a nod and then responded to her long admission with a quiet, "you know I can and I do. I told you, I love you and I'm not interested in life without you". Smiling to herself as she heard his response, she thought back to a thought she'd had many times in the past; not many people understood or would believe that JR had a tender, emotional side, but he did and she was so glad that she was one of the few people that got to experience that part of him.

Watching and listening as Sue Ellen laid out some of her past feelings, Doctor Williams nodded to himself, but remained quiet; he wasn't going to ruin the atmosphere by interfering, at least not until it was necessary. There were still a few things Sue Ellen needed to get out in the open, but they were on the right track and he was very pleased with the way things were going.

Clearing his throat, JR broke the brief silence they had fallen into. "I'm sorry, I truly am. I know I hurt you and I know it's a challenge for you to move past the insecurities that have been introduced into your mind because of your relationship with me. Because of that, I know now why you previously asked me to put Bobby back into Ewing Oil. I have reasons separate from our marriage as to why I really don't want to and don't believe I will ever want to do that, so please understand that. That being said though, I know where you're coming from and I want you to feel happy and secure, so I'm open to exploring various options when it comes to the work Bobby does. I honestly don't believe that I would fall back into the way I was before, even if I was put in the same situations, however, I also see why you are wary about me taking that chance. It won't be happening for years anyway, because as long as daddy is president, Bobby will be employed by Ewing Oil, however, as I'm not as young as I once was and I have a full and satisfying home life now, I don't think I even want his job anymore. I don't miss that life, so if I have to find a way to still achieve the things Bobby does, without having Bobby or I doing them, then I will, because my life with you and John Ross means more to me than the brief, meaningless, phony interactions that are so common in that job. I'm sure I'm probably not making a lot of sense right now, but in short, what I'm trying to say is thank you for giving me another opportunity to prove myself. I won't let you down. I promise". It had taken him a long time to realise it, but there came a time in a man's life where certain things just weren't appealing anymore. It was fine for Bobby to be young and a little immature in his wants and actions, but that lifestyle wasn't supposed to be permanent and after a while, that lifestyle didn't hold the same appeal as it had in the past. It was difficult to explain, but he liked the life he and Sue Ellen had managed to make for themselves and he was ready for them to both settle down and start living as if that life was their natural and normal existence, not some fleeting situation that would soon disappear.

To be continued…


	402. Reminder

**Austin, Texas**

"You sound surprised. You didn't forget our arrangement did you?" looking at her calendar, Patricia knew she wasn't wrong and waited for Sue Ellen to apologise for making it sound as though her call was completely out of the blue. She had been looking forward to another visit to Dallas; she wanted to see her grandson, her daughter and Southfork, and most of all, she was ready for a break from her daily life in Austin. "No mama, I didn't forget. I have just been busy these past few weeks and this week has arrived much faster than I originally expected. Your flights have been arranged and I will personally meet you at the airport on Friday. You will stay the weekend and I will then take you back to the airport on Monday. Then we will see each other next in another two weeks, when you and Kristin arrive for Christmas. You don't need to worry about a thing, it's all arranged. I didn't forget". Listening to her eldest daughter's response, Patricia was reassured that everything was ok with her plans to visit Dallas, though from years of experience, she knew Sue Ellen's vague reference to the past few weeks being busy meant something much more than baby play group, DOA meetings and whatever it was she and JR had planned on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Something in Sue Ellen's life was amiss and she would have to probe to find out what it was, because Sue Ellen had never been particularly forthcoming with information about her personal life and it appeared that time and distance hadn't changed that. For now though, she was just pleased that her call to confirm their plans for later in the week were going ahead without issue. After talking for a little longer, she was content when the conversation ended and after saying her goodbyes, she hung up.

**Dallas, Texas**

Hanging up the phone as her call ended, Sue Ellen shook her head and waited in the foyer for a moment to clear her mind before she returned to her previous activity. When she was with her son, she wanted him to always have the best side of her, she didn't want him to sense her distraction or upset, so taking a moment to calm herself before seeing him again was always a good idea. She had been telling her mother the truth when she'd said she hadn't forgotten her visit, but she had been busy and it had sneaked up on her faster than she'd originally assumed. It was typical, just as she and JR were getting back on track with their relationship, her mother was due to arrive. Although recent visits hadn't been nearly as bad as she always assumed they would be, things hadn't changed that much between them that she believed they had absolutely no reason to worry. Things weren't awful though, her mother did seem to be a little mellower lately, so she hoped that personality would stick and her visit would happen in a seamless, drama-free manner.

Walking back into the living room, she was pleased to see that she hadn't missed too much; John Ross and Miss Ellie were just as she had left them a few minutes ago, playing his new favourite game, stacking wooden blocks as high as they could before gleefully knocking them down. So far, motherhood had been wonderful. Obviously there were the initial stresses of worrying whether she was doing well enough or even able to give him what he needed when he cried, but after a while, as with any first-time mother, things began to fall into place and although new challenges were always arising, she no longer felt lost or incapable, she felt confident and happy. Motherhood had introduced her to a whole new world of feelings and experiences and now that she and JR had re-entered a good place in their marriage, her level of happiness in day-to-day life was only increasing each day. It wasn't a quick process, but she was beginning to make new friends and get out of the house more, and in turn, so was John Ross. She knew John Ross adored the singing and interactive games they played in their weekly mother and baby group and she personally enjoyed meeting and being able to relate to women her own age again; for a few years, that hadn't been the case and it hadn't been good for her mental health.

She still attended DOA meetings occasionally, but in general, the work she did for the women's charity organization was mostly actual charity work, not the lunching and gossiping she had been so involved in before her pregnancy. It meant more to her to be able to spend time with her son, her husband, her friends and family than it did to spend time with a bunch of gossipy women who at times, seemed like the least empathetic people she'd ever met. Now, her work for the DOA was mostly a keeping up appearances thing and a favour to Miss Ellie, not because she was deeply interested in the club itself. She was interested in returning to her old 'job' at the charity she had volunteered at prior to her pregnancy though, because she had genuinely enjoyed the work she did there and the sense of accomplishment she got from hearing and seeing the success stories of the women she'd assisted. Thus far though, she hadn't done anything about reintroducing that commitment to her life. She enjoyed being social and useful, but first and foremost, she knew she had a commitment and responsibility to do right by her own family and by herself, so before she even thought about adding additional responsibilities to her plate, she needed to be completely secure in her own life and in the roles she played for her family. John Ross wouldn't be a baby forever and at some point, he wouldn't need or want her to be available to him all the time, but for now, he was young and she wanted to make the most out of the time in his life. She would return to some of her pre-baby life in the future, but for now, she was taking things one day at a time and she was thoroughly enjoying it.

To be continued…


	403. Mother Knows Best?

**Dallas, Texas**

Waiting for Teresa to leave the living room, Sue Ellen silently mulled over her mother's predictably judgemental and irritating comments. Why was it so difficult for her to understand that not everyone wanted to live the life she personally wanted and not everyone saw certain things from the same perspective as she did? She didn't think her mother was being intentionally annoying, but whether she was or not was irrelevant now, because she was beginning to grow tired of her presence and since she'd only been there for a few hours, that didn't bode well for the rest of the weekend.

Turning toward her mother as Teresa quietly left the room after delivering their tea, Sue Ellen then returned to their previous conversation. "Mama, I told you, this is my life now. Of course I do other things and spend time with adults, but first and foremost, I want to be a good mother to John Ross and be a good wife to JR, so I spend a lot of time with them. If you wanted to mix and mingle with the Dallas society ladies, you could've gone to the DOA morning tea with Miss Ellie earlier; I didn't think that was the reason for your visit though, so I didn't make a fuss about you having options to choose from. When you asked me to arrange this visit, you specifically said you wanted to visit Dallas to see John Ross and me again before Christmas, so I arranged for you to come. You're here now and so are we; this is our life. We sing, we read, we play, we go for walks and explore the ranch, we meet up with other mothers and their babies; sometimes I take him out to a park, library or to the mall with me, but most of the time, our lives are pretty simple and home oriented. On the weekends, JR and I will take family trips to more exciting activities and on some evenings, we'll take a little time for ourselves to go on a date, but most of the time, we're happy just being together, because after a lot of thinking and talking, we've both worked out what really matters to us".

"I told you you and I would go shopping and then to lunch in Dallas tomorrow, but for the most part, your visit here to see me and John Ross wasn't going to be too extravagant, so I'm not entirely sure what you're complaining about. I'm sorry if visiting the animals down at the stable this morning was boring or unpleasant for you, but it's something John Ross and I often do and I don't want to cause too many disruptions in his routine. I know he doesn't really understand exactly what's going on right now, but that doesn't mean I want to sit around waiting for him to grow up and become more aware, and it doesn't mean I'm comfortable leaving him with the baby nurse for long periods of time just so that I can go out and do 'adult' things. This past year has been a challenge, but I've been working on setting and achieving personal and familial goals, and in doing that, I've identified that I want John Ross to grow up knowing he doesn't have to fight for love or attention and I don't want him to grow up thinking that he's not a priority in my life. I have adult friends, I attend adult events and I think I have a healthy amount of personal, individual hobbies, but as well as those things, I genuinely enjoy being a mother and I have no interest in purposely distancing myself from him just because you think I should. I won't apologise for the way I live my life and I won't allow you to shame me into conforming with the way you want me to live. I did everything you wanted me to do when I was a child, teenager and young lady and somehow, even now, after everything, I'm still a disappointment to you. I'm sorry if you don't enjoy participating in the activities I now engage in, and I'm sorry that you still think I'm a bad daughter for not enabling your entitled attitude when it came to financial assistance, but this is my life and I'm going to live it in the way that is best for me and my family". Hearing the tone of her response to turn from cordial to clearly frustrated and annoyed, Sue Ellen sat silently as she finished speaking. She was pleased that she hadn't allowed her mother to completely control the situation, but she knew just saying what she had to say wasn't going to completely shut the conversation down or change the way her mother saw the world. What her mother probably needed was her own Doctor Williams, but even just the fleeting thought of Patricia in therapy was laughable. No, her mother was the way she was and since she didn't have much to lose like JR did when faced with an ultimatum, Sue Ellen was sure even the suggestion of professional help would be faced with a firm no and an even more hostile attitude during future meetings.

"Goodness Sue Ellen, I don't think anything I said warranted such a dramatic response. All I insinuated was that just by being John Ross Ewing III, that little boy is going to have more privilege and attention than he really needs and perhaps, if your goal is to raise a well-rounded child, a little less overbearing attention wouldn't be a bad idea. We're of different generations, I think you understand that well, but to me, it's laughable that you think a tiny disruption in his routine will do some sort of lasting damage to him. I know you don't believe me because of your own biased experiences, but children are resilient and adaptable; they don't need to see the cattle and horses every morning and sing nursery rhymes every afternoon in order to develop. Millions of people in this country, on this planet and for millennia before now have had children, and have entertained and raised them with much less than what you're doing. I can almost guarantee John Ross would be just as entertained by a wooden spoon and a pot as he is by all of those expensive toys you have in that basket upstairs. Likewise, if you had a family pet, he would be just as enamoured with the texture of fur and strange noises as he is with the ranch animals. You don't need to be so attentive and extravagant all the time; you're very privileged in the fact that you can live that way, but just know that if you keep making him the centre of the universe, you may find yourself with an overindulged, unadaptable child when he gets a little bigger. Now, before you accuse me of criticising you like 'I always do', just remember that I raised two children and unless you want to lay more blame on me for the supposed terrible life I led you into, especially for 'mistreating' you in your early years, I think you have your answer. I didn't have any of this when you were young. Before everything went bad, your father worked very hard and made a decent income; we weren't wealthy, but we had enough to live comfortably. We weren't too comfortable either though, so I still cooked, cleaned, sewed, tended to a vegetable garden and generally looked after all domestic work, including childcare. Take it from someone older and wiser, you need to relax, take a step back and remember your age and role; you're an adult, not a baby and you're John Ross' mother, not his friend; you're allowed to and should take time to keep doing the same things you did before you were a mother. He'll be fine with Miss Ellie or the baby nurse for a few hours and he'll be fine leaving Ewing property for more than one scheduled activity at a time; he doesn't have to control your life and you don't have to control his…"

Being mostly honest and well-intentioned in her assessment of the situation she had observed so far, Patricia also had a second motive for criticising her eldest daughter's approach to parenting; she was fishing for answers as to what exactly had occurred over the past few months, because as far as she had been informed, all had been well. From the language Sue Ellen used to describe her previous life though, something had happened to cause her perspective on life to change, and it both annoyed and saddened Patricia to not really understand or even have been told in vague terms what that something was. Sure, Sue Ellen and JR did family things on weekends and sure, Sue Ellen was partially involved in some of her activities from before her pregnancy, but something was different and it had to be more than just that she was an overly attentive mother now. For some reason, she had a feeling that the answer lay in the twice weekly appointments Sue Ellen had mentioned a while ago, because it seemed strange that a man as busy as JR Ewing would take time out of his work day to go somewhere with his wife so regularly. She hated not being trusted or wanted enough for her daughter to confide in her about what was actually happening in her life, not just the good things, but she was determined to change that situation. Although it often seemed like she was being overly critical and negative, and her approach to making her perspective known was less than personable, she did have good intentions when it came to the situation as a whole. Her life in Austin wasn't much and it may have been a selfish desire for love and attention, but she did genuinely want to build a better relationship with her daughter and grandson and she did want to show them how much she cared. Unfortunately, she and Sue Ellen had never been able to just agree on things without making them into something bigger than they needed to be, and her approach to voicing her opinion wasn't exactly subtle, so she anticipated that this situation would be no different.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: No chapter tomorrow. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	404. Standpoint

**Dallas, Texas**

"Mother, don't tell me you're jealous of an infant", raising an eyebrow, Sue Ellen wanted to laugh at how ridiculous and judgemental her mother sounded, but refrained for the sake of peacekeeping. She was a confident mother and none of her own mother's silly comments about spoiling John Ross bothered her too much, but still, she felt the need to at least address them. So what if he was 'spoiled' by attention? She and JR had been starved of forthcoming, positive attention when they were children and being raised that way had hardly turned each of them into well-rounded people. If she could prevent John Ross from feeling unloved, then she would, because although she and JR were in a better place now, it would have been even better if they had never needed to spend months in therapy just to achieve normalcy in the first place. In the future, John Ross probably would have to learn that the world didn't revolve around him, but for now, she didn't care too much about reminding him of that. Her feelings were partly because it seemed too soon to teach him about being patient and humble and partly because in her current life, he was one of her top priorities, so she wasn't going to purposely start paying less attention to him just for the sake of a life lesson.

"I do what I do because I love my son and I want him to understand that I love him. I know you're saying that we're of different generations so we see things differently, but I don't think that's the whole answer. Financially, we're in different places and since you always encouraged me to pursue a life of wealth, I find it hypocritical that you're now criticising me for using the money JR and I have to assist us in providing a life where John Ross can have it all. I'm sure you have a point about John Ross enjoying a family pet or entertaining himself with things around the house and not needing anything extravagant, but I don't agree that I should withhold the things available to us just so you can be satisfied. If we can afford nice things and I enjoy providing a certain lifestyle for John Ross to be raised in, then why does it matter to you? Why is it something you have to criticise me for? I'm sorry you and daddy didn't have the things JR and I have, the things you always raised me to believe were important, but I'm not going to stop doing something just because you tell me to. That's not really the point though; can't you see that everything I'm doing is because I love him? Spending time with him, showing him new things, making him comfortable and happy, those are things I enjoy doing and I enjoy seeing John Ross benefiting from. I'm a mother and you're a mother and we may not agree on everything all the time, but I don't like or appreciate your comments inferring that I'm somehow less of a mother than you are because I'm younger, I only have one child and I haven't had to struggle the way you and daddy did".

"I don't blame you or judge you for not having the social or financial means to give me the life I'm giving John Ross, so I would appreciate if you offered me the same courtesy. I do however take issue with the inference that I'm spoiling him by loving him. That's not true and the way you raised me and Kristin after daddy was gone damaged me more than it helped me and I don't wish to repeat the same experience with my own son. Now, before you say that I'm being unfair or I don't understand how things were, let me explain. I won't pretend to understand just how dire our situation was and why you felt that pushing me toward supporting our family and achieving nothing but social and financial wealth was the main goal in life, but I can tell you that the way you went about teaching the lessons you did wasn't right, for me or our family. I know you wanted us to have everything and you saw Kristin and me as the way to achieve what you wanted, but somewhere in your motivation for more, you lost appreciation for what we had. I wasn't upset by the life we lived, not until you made it sound as if we were nothing because we didn't have everything. Our home was modest and when daddy was there, it was loving, at least for me, and if I think back, that was the happiest time in my childhood. I can't pretend to know the details of your marriage or the things you hid from us, and I don't think that's really my business to know, not unless you wish me to. I did wish many times though when I was a child and teenager and even now as an adult, that you would show me that you loved me for me and not for what I could provide you with. I didn't need a palace or a lot of toys and I didn't expect those things; I did need love and some kind of sign I wasn't a burden to you. Our life circumstances and experiences are completely different and I think even if they weren't, our personalities would clash, but I want you to understand that the way I'm raising John Ross is the way I have chosen to, after a lot of thought and discussion. I never want him to question whether he's loved, whether he's enough or whether his presence is unwanted or a burden to everyone else. I don't want him to grow up with insecurities and questions like JR and I have; we want him to have the best and we're doing the best with what's available to us and in our personal situation, that just happens to be a lot. The material items are relative to our situation; you see them as extravagant, but we don't. As for the amount of time I spend with my son, I really don't believe that's an issue that warrants any criticism. I'm a mother, my child is my responsibility and with the privileges JR and I have in life, I have the ability to give John Ross a lot of my time; to me, that doesn't seem like a bad thing at all. Even with all of this women's liberation stuff, it's not unusual for a mother to be at home with her children, and for women of your generation, it shouldn't be at all shocking that I'm doing so. I just happen to be lucky enough that I have Teresa around to do all of the housekeeping and cooking, Miss Ellie around to oversee the organization and running of the home and annual events here, and JR in a business position where money isn't an issue for us".

"I don't really understand why you always have something negative to say about the way I live my life, but I've done a lot of thinking and have received a lot of good advice, and I have decided that as long as you understand my perspective, I'm ok with us disagreeing. We're allowed to think differently and both be right; different opinions are still valid opinions and I understand that. I really just want to explain my position and reasons for doing things, because I think too many times in the past I've just allowed you to tell me what you think and I've not done a very good job at explaining how I felt. Things have really changed recently though and I know now that as long as I'm happy, JR's happy and John Ross is happy and thriving, there's no reason to make huge changes in the way we live our lives, especially not if those changes are purely to please other people. Of course, as a daughter and a mother, I want you to support me and be proud of me, but I want you to do it because you actually, honestly feel that way, not because I'm asking you to or you feel pressured into it, so I'm not going to ask you to say anything you don't really believe. I love you mama, even when we fight and disagree; I wish you would show or tell me more often that you feel the same for me. We could have been so much happier if other things hadn't seemed more important than love and family, but we can't change the past; I'm trying to change the future though and in doing that I'm making sure I'm aware of why things weren't good in the past and changing my behaviours to hopefully achieve better results. John Ross is my son and I just want the best for him, please understand that before you criticise everything I do".

Allowing her amusement to turn into obvious annoyance and then into a quiet acceptance of the situation as it was, Sue Ellen finished speaking and watched her mother for a reaction. She didn't want to get in an argument about the past, not right now while they were supposed to be having a quiet afternoon tea while John Ross slept upstairs, and not right now in her own life, as she and JR had just been through a rough patch. She had hoped for a quiet, enjoyable weekend visit and she was still hopeful that her mother was capable of behaving in a way that allowed that to happen, because despite everything that had happened in the past, if it was possible, she really did want a positive, constructive relationship with her mother. She liked when she didn't contact her, but only because contact meant begging for money or critical comments, however, if she could have a relationship with her mother that resembled the one she had with Miss Ellie, she really would've liked that, and she was sure John Ross would benefit from it too. Her thoughts were moving much too far ahead though and she knew it, because just moments after she finished speaking, she knew calm and an agreement to disagree wasn't going to be as easy as she hoped.

To be continued…


	405. Content and Discontent

**Dallas, Texas**

Pulling into the Southfork driveway just after five thirty in the evening, JR hoped that the situation he was heading toward at home wasn't too bad. His mother-in-law had never been a particularly pleasant woman to be around, but Sue Ellen had seemed convinced a few weeks ago that things were changing, at least a little bit. He wasn't so sure about that though, Patricia was sneaky and currently didn't have much to lose by acting the way she had been known to act in the past. At present, her time with John Ross and at Southfork was limited; she wasn't receiving any personal financial benefits from JR and Sue Ellen; and her daughter and son-in-law had proven they weren't heartless and wouldn't punish Kristin when they were upset with her. Unless she did something extremely nasty, disrespectful or harmful that warranted a complete ban from their lives, the position she was in now was about as bad as it could get for her. If Patricia was to be believed, she knew her place and was sorry for what she had done to be put in that place, but she was also determined to show that she was capable and wanted to be and do more, selflessly, not selfishly. JR was sceptical and cautious though, and because of that, although he hoped Sue Ellen's newly regained good mood and optimism hadn't been crushed by her mother's presence, he wasn't naïve enough to completely believe that that would be the case. With that in mind, just in case things hadn't gone well, he'd ordered a large bouquet of yellow roses to be sent to Southfork that afternoon. Flowers wouldn't fix the problems she may be facing, but they would make her smile and hopefully not direct her upset toward him when he returned home.

Inside the house, Patricia watched as Sue Ellen changed John Ross' diaper and outfit, laid out a few toys for him to play with and then looked at her watch before asking her to sit and play with him for a few minutes while she went to freshen up. Aware of the time, she knew her daughter was doing exactly as she had taught her to do; she was making sure she was presentable and desirable for her husband when he returned home from work. In theory, seeing Sue Ellen married to a wealthy man, playing mother to her son, the heir to a large family fortune, and generally just being happy with the life she had should have made her proud and pleased that she had taught her so well, however, that wasn't exactly how she felt. Jealousy wasn't the word Patricia herself would have used to describe her emotions, but to a neutral observer, that's exactly what it was. Sue Ellen had gone above and beyond what she was taught she should want and what she deserved to have; she hadn't settled for just money, she had made decisions that led her into a life filled with love, happiness and real satisfaction. Somehow, Patricia doubted that a marriage to Billy Frampton or any of the other wealthy men she had set Sue Ellen up with would have had the same results, and she wasn't sure how happy she was with that knowledge. Sure, she couldn't change the past, as Sue Ellen had so kindly told her, but that didn't stop her from wondering 'what if?' She imagined that if Sue Ellen had been a more cooperative young lady, she would have easily married a much wealthier man than JR Ewing and in turn, the familial benefits she would receive would probably be a lot better than what she currently got. When Patricia organised Sue Ellen's dates, there was always an unspoken agreement that some sort of finder's fee would be provided to her; with JR Ewing though, nothing had ever been that easy.

For years, JR had negotiated with money, paying her a little bit here and there to ensure her agreement on certain issues, and after he and Sue Ellen married, he'd made sure to give her enough to keep the peace and silence her whining about her eldest daughter living luxuriously while she lived the same suburban life she'd always had. He hadn't been bad to her, not at all, but with the wealth he did have, what he was giving her was hardly a big deal to him. If she had negotiated with him before he and Sue Ellen started dating, she was sure she could've ensured a better life for herself than what she currently had. Unfortunately, she had done too much to annoy Mr Ewing personally and for some unknown reason Sue Ellen had undergone a personality change and was determined not to give her everything she deserved and expected. She was in a bind, at least that's how she saw the situation. Fortunately, things weren't all bad; she hadn't been completely cut out of their lives and Kristin was away at school getting a social and academic education that would equip her for her future, so she still had another chance at achieving the financial situation she believed she deserved. As well as that, although she disagreed with the way Sue Ellen did certain things as a mother and she couldn't help but feel overwhelmingly jealous that Sue Ellen was so confident and happy with the way her life was, she couldn't say Sue Ellen was all wrong. Her daughter had a point when she said John Ross was just a small, innocent baby and his view on the world was fairly simple; if she loved him and spent positive, constructive time with him, he would respond to her in a positive, loving way. Where adults and older children had preconceived notions of who and what to dislike, right now, he really only based his reactions on what he experienced; he was a blank slate and she had a chance to start from the beginning with him. Knowing that, she truly wanted to try and do it, though if the afternoon so far had been any indication of what her making an effort would be like, it certainly wouldn't be easy, because although John Ross was innocent and unbiased, Sue Ellen wasn't, and she was always out to defend herself and her perspective.

After making her way down the hall to their bedroom to check her appearance and make sure she didn't smell like baby puke, poop or some other unpleasant fragrance, Sue Ellen then headed back over to the nursery, just in time to see her mother and son participating in the bonding time her mother had been so insistent she wanted. Hanging back for a moment before she re-entered the room, she assessed her feelings; on one hand she was pleased that her mother did have the ability to be a nice, likeable person every once in a while; but on the other hand, she wasn't entirely sure whether she wanted her around any more often than she currently was. Their conversation earlier in the afternoon had ended with an agreement to disagree, but only because she had made it clear that she wasn't going to change anything anymore just because her mother told her to, and being a guest at Southfork for the next three days, her mother had known better than to start a large argument. She could tell though that her mother had a lot of unspoken opinions and in a way, she also sensed that the picture of happiness that she had been painting to her was beginning to annoy her and possibly bring out her underlying jealousy. Not only had she married a wealthy man, she was very happy with her decision, and to Patricia, having no part in that had to seem pretty unfair and unfortunate. To Patricia, it probably seemed like she had put in a lot of work for no reward, and Sue Ellen knew if that was the case, then she was not happy, not at all. The image that was in front of her at present though was somewhat different to her thoughts and assumptions and for once, even if only momentarily, she was pleased that her mother was able to put aside her jealousy and annoyance and give a good side of herself to her first and only grandchild. John Ross deserved to have the opportunity to build a positive relationship with his maternal grandmother, but it was up to Patricia to ensure that happened.

To be continued…


	406. Musing

**Dallas, Texas**

"Thank you for the flowers, they're beautiful", giving JR a soft kiss as he greeted her, Patricia and John Ross outside on the driveway, Sue Ellen then looked into his eyes and silently communicated that she really meant what she was saying. If they had been alone, she would have elaborated and told him just how nice it was to be reminded of the good things and people in her life, especially on days like the one she had had. As they weren't alone though, she stayed quiet and gave him a look as if to say she had a lot to tell him and would explain everything later. Mentally, she also knew that if they had been completely alone, she probably would've made a comment about rewarding him for being such a thoughtful husband, though since they weren't alone, that one was absolutely out of the question; they were more relaxed and open now, but they still had some sense of conservatism and respect for other people. Lucy's various comments over the past few months and the rest of the family's silence and lack of serious reprimand had told her everything she needed to know; the family were pleased she and JR were happy together, but they didn't want to be reminded of exactly how happy and in love they were.

Her mother was probably no different; with the way things had been in the Shepard household growing up, Sue Ellen sometimes still felt like a rebellious teenager when it came to showing her husband any affection at all in when her mother was present. Patricia and Sue Ellen had never really spoken about anything intimate except for the many talks pre-marriage that reinforced the idea that the deepest shows of intimacy was meant for marriage and girls that allowed anything more than kissing pre-marriage were putting themselves and their futures at risk and were actively aiming to diminish their social value. Things had changed a little when Sue Ellen had become an engaged woman, though they hadn't changed that much, because before her wedding, Patricia had sat her down and given a speech that focused on the mechanics of the carnal act and centred around the idea that it was her duty as a wife to do as her husband asked. At no point was it really expected that she would actually enjoy or have any say in how things were between she and JR, and for a long time, that's exactly how things were. She hadn't had any complaints about their sex-life initially, because going in unsure what to expect, what she got was pretty great, however, after a while, she began to sense and find out that JR wanted and needed more, and before their talk earlier in the year, she had only ever received brief indications of what that 'more' was. Their intimacy issues were behind them now and she hoped that once and for all, their infidelity issues were also a thing of the past now, but at times, the scars of her past experiences did make themselves known. Now was one of those times, because although she wasn't doing anything wrong, her actions and subsequent thought process had somehow led her to remembering a number of things from the past and in turn, becoming consciously aware of how her behaviour would appear to other people. Before she could really overanalyse the situation though, JR took control of the conversation and quickly redirected her attention back to the present.

"You're welcome darlin'", giving his wife a look that matched her level of mischievousness and understanding that more would come when they were alone, he then turned to his attention to his son and taking hold of him as Sue Ellen handed him over to him, he bounced him in his arms a few times. Delighted by his son's squeals, he didn't particularly care if he looked the furthest from his public image of hard businessman, especially since the only other person seeing him like that was his mother-in-law. Turning toward Patricia, he nodded politely and spoke in a tone that matched, "Patricia, nice to have you back again. I hope your visit has been enjoyable so far"; he had no real desire to know about her day or to engage in a long conversation with her, but he wasn't going to be rude or inconsiderate and ignore her, so he did the adult thing and put aside his general feelings about her. Whether he liked it or not, she was an invited guest at Southfork and unfortunately, although Sue Ellen tried hard, a lot of the time it just so happened that her happiness and good or bad mood depended on her mother's attitude, so if he could keep Patricia happy, he was doing his relationship with Sue Ellen a service too.

"Yes, it has, thank you", responding to JR's question in an equally polite tone, Patricia was well aware of how false they were both being, however, for similar reasons to JR's motivations, as well as her own want for a future with her grandson, she didn't argue with the way things were. Sue Ellen hadn't been particularly kind to her earlier in the day, but for all the unpleasant things she had said, she probably also had a small point. For now, she could accept Sue Ellen's request to agree to disagree, because in doing so, she didn't have to accept anything more than that their opinions differed; there was no need for her to acknowledge her wrongdoings or apologise for the past, so for the moment, she was ok with that. "Good, shall we head inside?" hearing JR speak again, her eyes followed the line of his hand and then subconsciously, she did exactly as JR and Sue Ellen were doing and walked inside the house.

A few minutes later, after talking briefly and then mentioning needing to get ready for dinner, JR and Sue Ellen headed upstairs together, leaving John Ross with Lucy and Muriel for a little while and giving Patricia a bit of time to herself too. Observing her daughter and son-in-law as they walked through the house and upstairs together, Patricia's confusion and jealousy over the whole situation grew a little more. It wasn't enough that Sue Ellen was confident, comfortable and happy with her life, now JR appeared to be too, and as odd as it struck her that JR Ewing was acting so family-oriented and relaxed, it also seemed extremely natural and authentic and for that, she was jealous. It was crazy, because in essence, Sue Ellen had everything and more that she had taught her to want and pursue, but to see that instead of just settling for the checkbox version of the 'ideal' life, she had worked harder and ended up living a life where love was present too. It made Patricia feel left out and unneeded. Why was it that her lessons had worked for Sue Ellen, but not for herself? Why was it that her daughter seemed so insistent on denying that anything she had done for her had actually assisted her in achieving the life she now had?

Sighing to herself as she walked down the hall to the guest bedroom, she knew her thoughts were at least a little bit unfair and silly, but something Sue Ellen had said earlier had stuck in her mind; her thoughts, feelings and opinions were also valid. She was allowed to feel the way she felt and Sue Ellen was allowed to feel how she felt, neither of them had to be right or wrong, though if she was being honest with herself, her own feelings right now probably weren't 'right' and probably did seem a bit crazy. For the first time in a long time, her daughter had been honest with her about how she felt and how she had felt in the past, and instead of processing her thoughts and taking them on-board, she had simply listened and agreed for the sake of peacekeeping, not because she really agreed or understood her perspective. As well as that, instead of taking on the main messages Sue Ellen had been trying to tell her, she had allowed her thoughts and feelings to wander toward something completely different. Jealousy over JR and Sue Ellen's situation and continued hostility toward the way they treated her, which if she considered it honestly, was a result of her own actions, probably wasn't the way to get herself back to where she wanted to be. Perhaps Sue Ellen had a point when she said they couldn't change the past, but they could change the future, if they worked on changing their behaviour and attitude toward each other.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: No chapter tomorrow. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	407. Baby Steps

**Dallas, Texas**

Closing her menu, Sue Ellen looked around the restaurant; it was busy, but not as busy as she had expected it to be on a Saturday afternoon during the holidays. "I think I'll have the pumpkin soup", saying something just for the sake of breaking the silence that had come over her and her mother, she then looked to her mother for an equally bland and uninteresting piece of information in response. Surprisingly, what she actually received in response was much different to what she had been looking for or anticipated; "what happened over the past few months?" Speaking in a rare sincere tone, it was clear to Sue Ellen what her mother meant in her short question; she didn't want to know what had happened during DOA meetings or business dinners, she was referring to something much more personal. She wanted to know where Sue Ellen's recent psychobabble about valid feelings, personal challenges and goals, looking into the past for answers regarding the present and future, and other such utterances had come from. Additionally, it had become increasingly obvious that where she had seen JR as a doting father and husband in the past, he was even more so now for some reason, and although she didn't want to question his motives, she found herself doing it anyway. How or why was it that Sue Ellen referred to the past few months as 'difficult' and 'a challenge', but when she referred to the present and future, her tone and wording was much more positive and optimistic? In short, she wanted to know about the therapy Sue Ellen and JR were in and why they needed to be attending those sessions, but for the moment, she didn't know that that was what she was asking about.

"What do you mean?" instead of answering what she knew her mother was asking, Sue Ellen played dumb for a moment in hopes that she could get her mother to ask her a more specific question that she could answer and then use to her advantage to redirect the conversation. Unfortunately, her idea didn't quite go as planned and although her mother took her lead and asked a specific question, it wasn't the one she had been hoping to have to answer.

"I mean, I've visited you a few times over the past few months but nothing has ever been as clear to me as it was yesterday. You said it yourself, something in your recent past has changed the way you view the present and future and has changed the way you interact with the people around you. I want to know what's been happening over the past few months that has caused such a change in you and your life. I'm asking because I'm trying to understand you better than I currently do, because you don't give me very much to work with, and if I'm going to improve the relationship you and I have and the relationship I have with my grandson, then I think I need a little bit of context". Asking in a sincere but also somewhat nosy and assuming manner, Patricia waited for Sue Ellen to respond. She wasn't entirely sure what she expected to happen, because realistically, Sue Ellen probably hadn't just forgotten to tell her everything, she had probably been purposely withholding information and probably wouldn't be too enthusiastic about divulging that information now, but there was no harm in at least asking. She had done a lot of thinking the previous evening and although she still wouldn't admit to herself that she was jealous of the situation Sue Ellen had achieved for herself, it had occurred to her that her eldest daughter made a few good points. Sue Ellen wanted the best for John Ross, just as she wanted the best for Sue Ellen and Kristin. They had vastly different ideas of exactly what the 'best' life was and how to attain it, but she couldn't deny that whatever Sue Ellen was doing did seem to be motivated by love and did seem to be working out well so far. What she wanted to know though was how she had gotten to that point in life and why it seemed to be so easy for her now, even though she referred to the past few months as difficult.

Staying silent for a few moments after her mother responded to her question by clarifying what she meant, Sue Ellen mulled over what and how she wanted and should respond. On one hand, she desperately wanted to engage in an honest and open conversation with her mother, because for so long their interactions had been stilted and false, or tense and unbalanced, so to finally have an opportunity to express her real feelings and have a willing, listening audience was nice. On the other hand though, she didn't completely trust her mother and although she seemed to be asking in an honest, sincere manner and had made several statements recently about wanting things to be different, she wasn't sure how much of that she could actually trust and believe as true. There was absolutely no way she was going to tell her mother the details of the challenges she and JR had faced in their marriage over the past year, but if she was genuine in her wish to start working on their relationship, then maybe being just a tad more open about her life was a good idea.

Although Miss Ellie and Jock were aware of JR's infidelity, she had no desire to make her mother aware of it too, and even if she did, she didn't feel that it was entirely fair to do so now since his cheating was in the past and as a couple, they had resolved the issue and moved past the consequences. Unfortunately, although she was sure when she eventually ended up telling Doctor Williams about her mother's visit, he would agree with her decision to withhold information regarding her situation with JR, she also knew that if she didn't even try to engage with her mother about her personal situation, he would be disappointed. As he so often reminded her, other people weren't mind readers and if she hid her true feelings and brushed things off a certain amount of times, people would begin to believe that when she said she was ok and nothing was wrong, that she actually meant it. In that example, she knew her mother was no different; she would push for information, but would eventually just leave her alone, at least for the time being, and was that really what she wanted? She had the opportunity to tell her mother how much work she had put into analysing her past and rebuilding the broken parts of herself, but if she kept the explanation of just how much effort she had put into improving her life, she would never get any recognition for her achievements. It wasn't right or polite to be too self-involved, but in a situation where someone was directly asking and seemed genuinely interested, it was wrong to brush off the opportunity for progress.

She didn't have to prove anything to Doctor Williams, but as he had told her many times before, their sessions weren't for his personal development, they were for hers and he was there to assist her, but to do that, she first had to do some unpleasant things and relive some unpleasant memories. With that in mind, she stirred her drink for a few seconds, further mulling over exactly what she wanted to say. After a long pause, she finally spoke, keeping things simple as she did; it wouldn't pay to get too far ahead of herself too soon, especially not before she knew how her mother would react to any of the information she was about to tell her. "Well mother, it's not easy to explain, but simply put, this past year has been a challenge because after twenty five years of thinking and behaving in ways that were expected of me in relation to the roles I was playing and the titles I was holding, I've finally begun to discover who I am, and it's been enlightening".

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Although it was only a dream in the show, Patricia was at one point shown to be less selfish and a little more open to listening to Sue Ellen's perspective on things. The episode **_**Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen**_** is a good example of this; she's still questioning, but is also accepting. I hope that gives a little depth to the way she is at the moment.**


	408. Unsurprising Response

**Dallas, Texas**

Raising an eyebrow as Sue Ellen spoke, Patricia's thoughts moved rapidly. "…and JR allows this? He doesn't object to you telling a stranger about your life and your feelings? Surely he inevitably factors into your stories somewhere, just as I apparently do so very often, and surely he doesn't just enjoy that knowledge, I know I don't". Taking advantage of a brief pause in Sue Ellen's explanation, she spoke and quickly made her initial thoughts known. She could somewhat understand Sue Ellen's desire to have someone to talk to openly, however, what she didn't understand was why JR hadn't shut the situation down yet. JR Ewing didn't strike her as the type of man who enjoyed other people knowing his business, especially not other men, and especially not a man who was paid to sit and judge the situation. From the little she had heard about Sue Ellen's efforts in therapy so far, it sounded as if she was ready to talk, and if their own personal history was anything to go by, when Sue Ellen got talking, she could really talk, and her talk often consisted of a lot of blaming others for the way her life was. Was JR really not bothered by his wife telling a stranger about their marriage? Even if it was a good marriage, which she suspected at times it hadn't been, she didn't understand JR's thinking if he did just allow his wife to tell the details of their life together to someone who was there to analyse and give 'answers'.

For her personally, she hated the idea of this Doctor Williams judging her parenting abilities and past choices, especially since the way Sue Ellen retold stories was extremely biased. Her daughter loved to say she was doing the best for John Ross and she loved to make it seem as if she acknowledged that her mother had done the same for her, but Patricia knew that deep down, Sue Ellen feelings weren't that simple and weren't that accepting. No, Sue Ellen blamed her for almost everything that had gone wrong in her life and never gave her credit where it was due. There were things she was responsible for and things for which Sue Ellen had no one but herself to blame, however, in life, there were also things that were no one's fault, they just were, but sometimes Sue Ellen didn't seem to understand that.

Patricia couldn't say she was disappointed or upset by her daughter's personal development, because she did seem happy, healthy and content with her life, however, it would be a lie to say she agreed or liked the way Sue Ellen appeared to have achieved her new life. Sue Ellen had the right to feel as if their relationship hadn't been ideal and could have been better, but did she really have the right to go around telling people that their relationship was directly linked to why she had so many issues as an adult? At some point, Sue Ellen was her own person, whether Patricia wanted her to be or not, and at that point, she couldn't blame her childhood for everything; she had to take responsibility for her own behaviour, thoughts, actions and overall life. As she loved to remind her mother, she was an adult; what Patricia felt like reminding her though was that if she was an adult, not Patricia's child, then she couldn't blame her mother for everything that went wrong, not anymore anyway.

Almost rolling her eyes as her mother reverted to her very traditional, conservative way of thinking, Sue Ellen managed to supress her urge and then responded in a polite but also somewhat passive aggressive tone. "Well, it's not like that, and even if it was, this whole experience has taught me that I'm above taking orders on such a personal level. I am an adult and I am perfectly capable and within my rights as a free person to make decisions about who I see and why I see them. JR doesn't control me or have the authority to allow or disallow me to do things; we both know and understand that, so it's really not a problem. When we were dating, things were different and I didn't know any better, so I allowed him to have a great deal of say in my life, but now, I make my own decisions and although most of the time I do the mature thing and include him in those decisions, there are times where I don't follow his lead. To answer your question though, yes, JR 'allows' me to see Doctor Williams, in fact, he's quite encouraging now that he sees how different things are and can be. Contrary to what you seem to think, my attending therapy isn't just so I can have someone to complain to and garner sympathy from and even if it was, Doctor Williams just isn't like that, he's more interested in self-improvement than he is in self-pity. I am trying to move on from the scars of my past, and so far, I think I'm doing well, and so does JR."

"As for telling our personal business to a stranger, Doctor Williams is only a stranger in the sense that before this, I didn't know him. I feel very comfortable around him now that I've known him for a while though, and since he's a doctor and bound by a code of ethics, as well as full knowledge that JR wouldn't hesitate to ruin him if anything I told him in confidence was leaked, I trust him completely. I know it's hard for you to understand, because the way things have always been with us, it seems unnatural to tell other people about private issues, however, I really would like you to trust and support me right now, because my actions and my telling you about my actions are only done with good intentions. I want my life to improve and I'm actively trying to make sure that happens. I have JR on my side, supporting and encouraging me in my personal progress, and actively participating in improving our marriage. I would like for me and you to have the same opportunity. Please listen to me and take what I'm saying seriously; I only want the best for myself and for my relationships with other people. I promise, Doctor Williams isn't judgemental about things; he's very helpful and often sees things from an entirely different perspective to my own. That's why he's so helpful; he's allowing me to see the world in a different way, and it's been difficult and challenging, but also fascinating and rewarding".

Deciding partway through her response that she didn't want to come off sounding too hostile, she calmed herself and allowed her vulnerability to show again. She had barely told her mother any details and already she hated the idea of anyone else knowing about their personal history, however, for whatever reason, Sue Ellen sensed that all was not lost and if she was able to get JR to see things from a different perspective, perhaps she could improve her relationship with her mother too. Before she did anything though, she wanted to make sure her mother understood the basics of what and why she felt the way she did, about therapy and about the actual reasons why she needed therapy. She was well aware that her mother would never want to actually participate in therapy with her, and she wasn't sure she wanted her to anyway, however, there was no harm in sharing some of Doctor Williams' wisdom. She was getting ahead of herself though; she had to get her mother to a point of calmness and understanding before she could explain anything more.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: No chapter tomorrow. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	409. Polite Request

**Dallas, Texas**

Listening to her daughter as she spoke, Patricia began to analyse the information she was being given and as she heard one particular line, things suddenly fell into place. "…actively participating in improving our marriage", hearing Sue Ellen's phrasing told her everything she needed to know about the present situation. It all made sense; the twice-weekly meetings, the psychobabble, the mentions of hard, painful work leading to wonderful rewards, the obvious development of a deeper love and understanding between her daughter and son-in-law, the praise for Doctor Williams' abilities. There was a very simple reason why JR was not objecting to her telling a stranger the details of their lives; Sue Ellen was not the only one in therapy, clearly JR was too, and from what she'd observed, it appeared that perhaps Sue Ellen wasn't exaggerating when she gushed about how wonderful the nosy stranger, Doctor Williams, was. She'd been aware that Sue Ellen and JR's marriage hadn't been all smooth sailing, though she didn't know the exact details of why that was, however, she couldn't deny that lately, their marriage seemed to be wonderful and as people, they both seemed to be extremely happy and content with their situation. If a few months of therapy could bring out the confident, optimistic side of her daughter, and the kinder, more charming side of JR, and they were clearly succeeding in other areas of their lives separate from their marriage, then perhaps Sue Ellen really was being completely honest in her assessment of Doctor Williams. The man sounded like he knew exactly when to be kind, when to be firm, when to listen and when to offer his opinion, so even if he was still a nosy stranger, at least he was a helpful nosy stranger.

"You're both seeing him aren't you?" hearing her mother speaking, Sue Ellen's eyes widened as she processed exactly what she was saying. She had convinced herself to open up to her mother about her own personal experience recently, but she had been hesitant and ultimately decided against mentioning that she and JR were in marriage counselling too; now that it was a topic of conversation though, what was she supposed to do? If she denied it and her mother later found out she was lying, it would probably damage their relationship even further, because Patricia loved to twist the truth and make it seem as if her motives for doing something were much more deceptive and hostile than they actually were, so naturally, this probably wouldn't be any different. Alternatively, if she did confirm that she and JR were seeing Doctor Williams together, was she inviting questions and judgement? If their earlier conversation was anything to go by, her mother still held rather traditional views on marriage and if that was still the case, then she probably wouldn't appreciate hearing about Sue Ellen's demands to her husband or their understanding regarding equality. Additionally, her mother would want to know what the reasons behind their marriage counselling were in the first place, and that was not something she was willing to or wanted to discuss.

Deciding to approach her mother's question from a different angle, Sue Ellen began to speak, "yes, JR has attended a few sessions. I told you, Doctor Williams is a good man and he's very good at his job. As you don't seem to be, JR also wasn't thrilled at first with the whole idea, but I truly believe he understands and agrees now why it's important and beneficial. I'm not asking you to attend with me, though if you'd be willing to, I know it would help our relationship; all I'm trying to do right now is answer your questions and explain my position. Finally, after years of not completely understanding why I feel and act certain ways, I now feel like I have some answers, and yes, the process to get here was not pleasant, but I'm glad I did it. I wasn't lying when I said these last few months have been hard, but I also wasn't lying when I said I really am happy now and with my new understanding of myself and my world, I think I'm finally ready for us to talk properly and hopefully eventually form a new, better relationship".

"You asked to come here this weekend so you could spend time with John Ross and me, but yesterday didn't exactly work out as I had planned it and if it's always going to be like that when you're around my son, then I don't think it's going to work out. I love you mother, I don't say that enough, but I do; however, I also want you to love me enough to respect my decisions. I love my son and I will do everything I can to make sure he knows it and never feels as if he has to compete for my attention or affection; JR and I will also always give him what we can and if that happens to be more than each of us had, then so be it. I understand where you're coming from with your comments about me spoiling him, but that's not my intention at all and I don't see my behaviour as negative. I know you don't see the way you raised me as an issue, but after a lot of thinking and discussion, I know it was and I really don't want John Ross to have to deal with any of the emotions JR or I did. Please, just respect that you and I have different parenting styles, but we both have the same goals. I know you wanted the best for Kristin and me, you wanted us to have the things you never had, and I really can't fault you for that, that's what a mother is supposed to want and usually does want, and I'm not trying to blame you or say you were wrong to want that. I am however politely telling you that I personally don't feel like I benefitted from the way my childhood was and I'm making a very conscious decision not to act the same way with my son".

"As well as that, I'm happy to tell you about my life and I don't mind discussing the past with you, but if you have an overwhelmingly negative opinion about something, I would really rather you just keep it to yourself. JR and I are happy in our marriage and I do credit Doctor Williams for a lot of things, because as you probably know, marriage and relationships are hard work sometimes. In my experience, therapy has been a very positive thing in my life and I don't want to hear that you disapprove of me telling a stranger personal details; I don't think comments like that are helpful or necessary. I want to improve our relationship, I really do, but for that to happen, I think we need to interact in a more positive way than we have in the past. I am willing though. Are you?" attempting to change the direction of their conversation, Sue Ellen waited for her mother's reaction. She didn't have much to lose by asking for a more civil, polite relationship between them and it really was the best thing anyway, so she did it.

To be continued…


	410. JR Ewing: Father & Husband

**Dallas, Texas**

While Sue Ellen and Patricia had gone shopping and to lunch together, JR had opted to stay at home with John Ross for the day. He didn't see his son nearly as much as he would have liked to during the week, so naturally, when the choice was between an invitation to lunch with Patricia and an afternoon alone with his son, the answer was obvious. He wasn't entirely alone, his mother, Lucy and Teresa were all at Southfork too, however, he wasn't incapable, so when he said he would look after his son, he meant it. Contrary to what society thought of men and what certain people expected to happen, he actually enjoyed being a father and although he couldn't say it was particularly pleasant to change diapers or see half of John Ross' food ending up on his hands, face and outfit rather than in his mouth, he wouldn't have traded those experiences for anything. He loved being a businessman, but he also loved being a family man. There was a certain thrill and pleasure he got from making deals, plans and having his plans culminate in a lot of money and increased power, but no longer were those things the ultimate and only source of happiness and excitement in his life. His younger self had enjoyed the company of many women, but the man he was now understood and appreciated the love of a good woman, one good woman, his wife. As well as that, before he'd become a father, he'd never really understood true, complete familial love and happiness, because his childhood and subsequent adulthood hadn't been as good as it could have been, but now that he was a father, he couldn't believe how much he'd been missing out on and how much he was capable of.

He wasn't a perfectly patient father though, and as much as he would have liked to read another one of the many boringly simple books his son had on the bookshelf in his nursery, he just couldn't; he was a smart man and reading just one or two words on a page was beginning to drive him insane. From what he could tell, John Ross enjoyed touching the pages of the book, looking at the pictures and hearing the sound of his father's voice, so assuming and hoping that's what it was and he wasn't exceptionally amused by the narrative content of each book, he put down the children's books and walked downstairs. Collecting the daily newspaper, he then settled into an armchair in the living room, and resting John Ross comfortably on his lap, he began to read aloud. Watching as his son began to take notice of the large printed pages in front of him, JR grinned to himself; he was surprised it had actually worked, but as well as that, he felt proud, he was a good father and knowing that gave him great confidence and enthusiasm.

Arriving home from lunch with her mother, Sue Ellen was both surprised and thrilled when she entered the house, made her way up to the nursery and caught the last few moments of her husband readying their son for his late afternoon nap. It make her extremely happy and grateful to know she had a husband who was so willing and happy to be involved in his role as a father, because if anything other women had told her was true, that wasn't always the case. As well as happiness though, she couldn't deny she felt something even more for him; JR had many sides to him and they all had their appeals, but for some reason, seeing him as a father made her love and desire him even more than she did just in everyday life. She was already n a good mood from the way her lunch had ended, with an agreement between her and her mother to interact in a more positive manner and possibly implement some of Doctor Williams' methods of discussion in their relationship. Coming home to see her husband and son like they were was the icing on the cake for her day; she felt good, happy, optimistic and very much in love, and it was all a welcome change from the way things had been in the past. Hanging back for a moment as JR laid a half-asleep John Ross down in his crib, she then made her way over to both of them, her presence obviously coming as a surprise to JR, though she could tell he was pleased to see her and very pleased to see the look of adoration on her face. As well as the love she felt for him, he could tell she had a few other thoughts on her mind, thoughts that would probably end very well for them when they were alone together. It was strange, because an afternoon with her mother wasn't usually such a positive event, but if this time it was, then he was glad, Sue Ellen deserved to be happy and deserved to receive positive attention from her mother.

Just ten minutes later, JR got the answers he was looking for. He wasn't thrilled that Patricia had worked out that they were in marriage counselling, because as far as he was concerned, it really wasn't any of her business and he'd rather not have her nosing into his and Sue Ellen's shared past, one they had put behind them now. He was pleased though that Sue Ellen seemed to view her day so far as positive and progressive, and because of that, he decided against really questioning her decision to tell her mother about their marriage. Additionally, if the way she had looked at him as they left the nursery and she was looking at him now was any indication of how her moods would be in the future with the new arrangement she had come to with her mother, then maybe it wasn't such a terrible thing. He and Sue Ellen had a very healthy intimate relationship, but he loved when she seemed to just suddenly want and need him; it was a real ego boost and always resulted in an interestingly different, but enjoyable experience for both of them. He couldn't tell exactly what it was that was making her move toward him with a determined, seductive look, but he was sure they would both benefit greatly from her sudden urge, and as she stood in front of him, wrapped her arms around his neck and then kissed him, he knew his assumptions would be true.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: There may not be a chapter for the next day or two. I'm a bit sick right now and I haven't had the energy to write more than half a chapter ahead yet.**


	411. Need

**Dallas, Texas**

Observing Sue Ellen's quiet, slightly nervous demeanour, JR knew there was more to her mood than just anticipation and hope that everything would go well in their meeting with the interior designer and decorator for their new home. Driving at a steady pace down the highway, he broke the silence, "darlin', why are you so worried? It's not like this is the first time our mothers have ever been alone together, and besides, you said it yourself, your mother is trying and I think she understands now that if she wants a relationship with you and John Ross, then she has to work for it. I don't particularly like your mother and I don't think her motives are as innocent as she tries to paint them, however, I do have to give her some credit, she does seem to be trying and I don't think she would waste the time she has left on this visit by making trouble". Not entirely sure of what his wife was so on edge about, JR assumed one thing and attempted to offer a brief counter argument; sometimes it wasn't enough for him to just reassure her, she actually needed reasons why she should believe him over her own feelings. He was sure things weren't going to be as easy as simply telling her she had nothing to worry about, but regardless, there was no harm in offering her an explanation in hopes of dulling her sometimes irrational state of mind. Patricia wasn't a pleasant woman and hadn't been a particularly good mother, but she wasn't completely evil or dangerous and leaving her at Southfork for a few hours with John Ross and Miss Ellie was not something that should be causing Sue Ellen as much anguish as it appeared to be.

Looking over at her husband as he spoke, Sue Ellen sighed; JR had a point, her mother did seem to be trying, however, a couple of days of effort didn't erase twenty five years of pain and negative experiences and didn't just automatically rid her of her anxious feelings. Staying silent for a moment, she gathered her thoughts and then spoke, explaining the one thought weighing heavily on her mind, "I'm worried that now my mother is aware of the situation with Doctor Williams, she won't just be satisfied with knowing my side of the story and she'll end up asking Miss Ellie for answers. I don't want to return home to more questions about our marriage or the reasons for why I started seeing Doctor Williams in the first place. I know my mother, she's nosy and she doesn't like not being in control, so having just a small part of what is definitely a bigger story has to be killing her. Of course she makes promises and she'll try hard to actually do a better job at building and maintaining our relationship this time, but I'm not stupid or naïve, I know she'll always want to know more and she'll always be looking for a way to manipulate and control the situation. It's who she is and I can't control it, so I know it's silly to worry about what's going on at Southfork while we're gone, but I can't help it sometimes. Doctor Williams has helped me to identify my feelings though and I am working on moving past allowing the 'what ifs' of life to control me, but please understand that I'm not quite there yet. I do appreciate and understand what you're saying though, so I will try to relax and not allow my imagination to get too far ahead. I'm sure everything will be fine though and even if it's not, Miss Ellie is a strong woman, she's polite, but she's also stern and protective, I don't think she would allow my mother to be negative about us and I think she knows better than to go into detail about our personal issues". Explaining herself, Sue Ellen could see how her thoughts could appear to be too much for what the situation actually required and as she listened to herself speaking, she knew her verbal commitment to attempting to just let things go was probably actually a good idea. She didn't want to be a nervous wreck all day, especially today of all days, so even if it was difficult, she was going to try, she was going to try to forget the potential negatives and instead focus on the real positives, specifically the huge decisions they were about to make.

"Good. You know I just want you to be happy and I hate seeing you so upset, especially when the things you're upset about are issues that aren't currently something that need attention. Your mother isn't pleasant and is pushy, but I think this time, at least for the moment, your message may have gotten through to her. You're right though, I don't think mama would put up with your mother's behaviour if I am wrong and she does act completely inappropriately; my mama is definitely a polite woman, but she doesn't have any of the same reasons for leniency like you and I do. As you just said though, there's not much you can do about who your mother is; you can change how you react when she does something and how you think about her though and I'm very pleased and proud to hear that that's what you plan on doing. I love you and as complicated as things are sometimes, I understand you, so I want you to know that I support you. I also support your decision now though; it is time to accept the facts and let go of the speculation". Not entirely sure what to say, because he never really understood what Sue Ellen needed when she was internally struggling with what she felt versus what she knew she _should_ feel, he then decided to just change the subject. Sue Ellen was educated enough to know her own mind and he was determined to support her, but that didn't mean he had to sit around dwelling on negative topics.

Pausing for a moment in his response to her, he knew she was listening and happy when she gently brushed her hand over his, and taking her small action as a sign, he then spoke again. "Now, let's not focus too much on the negatives at a time like this though. This is an important meeting for us and I want us to be as focused and optimistic as we can. I want to give you your dream home, but I need you to explain and clarify what that actually means, because I could probably guess and make some choices for you with the assistance of the decorator, like I did when I bought that apartment for your graduation, but I really don't think that's what you want or need. This is our home and I don't want either of us to have any regrets". Giving her reasons for why he was asking her for her involvement, he knew he was just babbling when he looked over and noticed her facial expression. She was a nervous wreck in some aspects, but in others, she was a confident, well-prepared young lady and speaking of the meeting they were about to have was something that did excite and please her. Sue Ellen Ewing loved to feel needed, wanted and loved, and she was thrilled to finally feel like she was in control of a few things in her life, even if right now they were just the material items and cosmetic decisions regarding their new home. Their new home represented a new start for them and if she stopped worrying so much about non-issues, she knew she actually had a hope of making their new start, the one she had needed for a long time.

To be continued…


	412. Unwelcome Surprise

**Dallas, Texas**

Entering the Oil Baron's Club after their meeting, Sue Ellen couldn't stop smiling. She had had a lot of ideas about how she wanted their new home to look and she had been a little nervous that things wouldn't materialize as she imagined, however, now that she and JR had met with their interior designer and decorator, she felt much better. They had discussed the look and feel they wanted for their home and somehow, the professionals knew exactly what to do show them and how to put their ideas together. Sue Ellen liked to think she had nice, classy taste, but she also always appreciated a second opinion and highly appreciated when JR appeared to genuinely like something she had chosen. They had decided together that they wanted their home to be brighter, airier and more relaxed than Southfork was, and somehow, they had been able to piece together exactly what they wanted. Instead of the dark wood and warm toned furnishings their decorator had attempted to convince them were the modern, popular choices, they had instead opted for paler walls, neutral furnishings and placement of objects in a way that allowed the most natural light to enter each room. They had initially been inspired by the style of the lake house and a few of the things they had seen in the various homes they had viewed before purchasing the old Wade ranch; overall though, those things really were just inspiration; their home would be theirs and she couldn't have been happier.

Looking over the menu, even though he always ordered the same thing, JR's mood was also very positive. The interior of their new home didn't cross his mind very often and honestly, he'd never really had a strong opinion on decorating styles, he'd never thought of Southfork as dark and imposing, it had just been his home for the past thirty three years, it was what it was. He did however understand that to women like Sue Ellen, women who enjoyed the process of selecting and creating a complete look, whether it was in fashion or home décor, the whole thing was very exciting and important and she wanted him to seem enthused about it too. Discussing it prior to actually seeing ideas, he hadn't had much of an opinion about what he wanted, however, after hearing Sue Ellen speaking about the lake house and showing him photographs from architectural and design books, he now understood what she wanted and he had no problem with that. Dark wood and heavy, imposing furniture seemed fine to him, those things were was masculine and classic, but he could also see how they weren't particularly inviting or comfortable, so he saw her point when it came to wanting something different. Sue Ellen was classy and understood very well what was and was not acceptable in their social circle, so he had no worries when it came to allowing her to take the lead in this project, and so far, he hadn't had any disappointments or regrets, nor did he think he would in the future.

As they ate lunch, Sue Ellen felt relaxed and happy. It didn't bother her that being in a popular restaurant meant having to pause her conversation with JR every so often in order to say hello to various social acquaintances, she had plenty of experience with it and she had nothing bad to say to anyone and only genuinely good things to say when she was asked how she was. Spending time alone with JR, even if it was in a public restaurant, reminded her a lot of how their relationship had been when they were dating. She'd loved the time and attention he'd given her during that time and even though their lives were naturally a lot different now, she never wanted their relationship to become boring or unfulfilling. It didn't take much for her to be happy and she was sure JR knew that now, so as long as they both made an effort to participate in their relationship, she didn't foresee their relationship going downhill again in the future.

After lunch, as they stood waiting for the elevator doors to open so they could leave the restaurant, Sue Ellen reflected on how wonderfully happy she felt. With JR's hand gently place on her lower back and their easy-going conversation about their plans for the rest of the afternoon with John Ross, she felt extremely content, optimistic and strong, like nothing could ruin her day. Unfortunately though, as the elevator doors opened, that all changed.

Stepping out of the elevator and into the Oil Baron's Club, Marilee Stone's mood went from bad to worse. Not only had Seth dragged her to lunch with his old college roommate and his dull wife, now JR and Sue Ellen Ewing were in front of her, flaunting just how happy they were. She didn't want JR Ewing, she never had, not really, but she couldn't deny that they had had some good times together and although he'd never been particularly kind to her, she wouldn't have minded rekindling their relationship, even just temporarily. Seeing him so happy with the perfect former Miss Texas was nauseating; she had seen Sue Ellen change from the completely dull, sweet girl into someone more confident and direct about what she wanted, however, she still didn't really understand what it was that JR and everyone else seemed to find so fascinating and appealing about Sue Ellen. Sue Ellen was no stranger to gossiping and being judgemental about everything with the rest of the DOA ladies, but lately, it appeared that instead of even doing that, she was just in the DOA to do actual charity work and not much else, and to some of the older members, that appeared to be very admirable. To Marilee, it was annoying and a little transparent. Sue Ellen obviously thought she was better than everyone else; she had a husband, a baby and a reputation that didn't appear to be able to be tarnished by anything. JR had and probably would always do whatever he wanted, but for some reason, Sue Ellen didn't appear to be bothered by it, because even after what Marilee had heard were a tough few months earlier in the year, Sue Ellen was now back to being as happy as she had when JR had first introduced her as his girlfriend. Marilee wasn't jealous, or at least she didn't think she was, but she was irritated and a little hurt; even at his worst, JR didn't want her and even at her best, Seth seemed to not care too deeply about her. It sounded bad, because Seth wasn't actually a bad husband and in a funny way, she did love him, but she was bored with what marriage apparently was and it bothered her a lot to see other people so nauseatingly happy with the way their lives were.

Shaking Seth Stone's hand and making a few general comments, JR observed how Marilee and Sue Ellen were looking at each other and he immediately knew they had to get out of the restaurant as soon as possible. Sue Ellen had never been Marilee's biggest fan and Marilee's past words and actions had made it clear to him that she held no positive feelings toward Sue Ellen, so it was probably not a good idea to make them interact with each other for any longer than to say hello. He didn't really understand Marilee, she didn't want him and he didn't want her, but from the moment she'd found out about Sue Ellen's existence, she'd been nothing but hostile toward her, for no reason at all. He didn't care to find out why she felt the way she did, he didn't actually care that much, he just wanted to continue living his life as he had been for the past few years, separate from Marilee Stone. Seth was a necessary social connection to have, but Marilee wasn't; his relationship with her was in the past and she was someone he deeply regretted allowing into his life in an intimate sense. He had been JR Ewing, eligible bachelor, able to get any woman he wanted if he tried hard enough, but for some reason, as a young, stupid man, he had chosen Marilee Hurst more than once. It had been fun while it lasted, but it was truly buried in the past and he had no desire to revisit it.

"Sue Ellen, we've missed you at the recent DOA meetings. Some of the ladies were beginning to get quite concerned that something tragic had happened to you, but Miss Ellie assured us that nothing was wrong and you'd be back soon enough. Is that still the case? You don't look sick and you clearly have the time. Surely you can sacrifice a few hours a week to help the less fortunate members of our society?" Listening to Marilee Stone's fake concern and judgemental assumptions and questions, Sue Ellen's mood dropped; of course Marilee could find a way to make her sound like a bad person for not attending the DOA's weekly gossip meetings. Apparently, several people, including her mother, seemed to think she was a horribly selfish person for prioritizing motherhood over serving the whole community or boosting her social image. No one seemed to recognize that she had and did still see other people socially and she did still donate her time and money to good causes, because apparently, if she wasn't doing it as much as she had pre-pregnancy, then it didn't count.

With a false smile and a matching sweetly condescending tone, she then replied, though she was mentally willing JR to make an excuse so they could leave quickly. "It's lovely to see you too Marilee. I'm touched by your concern, I didn't know you noticed or cared about my actions. To answer your question, nothing tragic happened, I've just been busy with my life. I haven't forgotten my duties to the DOA though; I still attend charity events and occasionally the weekly meetings too, but since I've become a mother, my priorities have changed and naturally, I can't volunteer for every project. I'll be back soon enough, don't you worry about that; in the meantime though, I'm sure you and the other ladies are doing a wonderful job". Not bothering to really enquire about how Marilee herself was, because they were clearly playing a game and neither actually cared, she then waited for Marilee to nod and accept her answer, or possibly respond with some snippy comment. What she wanted more than anything though was for the hostess to appear to show Seth and Marilee to their table, or for JR to make an excuse for them to leave. She wasn't really in the mood to spend her afternoon chitchatting with Marilee Stone and the sooner she could leave the conversation, the better. Unfortunately, as Marilee opened her mouth to respond again, Sue Ellen was reminded that nothing ever happened as easily as she hoped.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: I know The Oil Baron's Club didn't appear until later in the series, but it seemed a more appropriate place for a nice lunch as a couple than The Cattlemen's Club.**


	413. Cold Shoulder

**Dallas, Texas**

Driving along the highway on their way back to Southfork, JR glanced over at his wife and then mentally cursed Marilee Stone again. The woman had no shame, she said and did whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, and she didn't care how it made her look; she was perfectly content being known as a rude, hostile woman and she was perfectly content, happy even, for her words and actions to negatively affect other people. He should have cut the conversation with Marilee and Seth short before Marilee and Sue Ellen ever got a chance to talk, because history had proven that the two women were not friends and had no interest in a friendly relationship, and even a cordial relationship was a bit too much to ask for.

The DOA was full of women who knew what was what, so Marilee fit in well with the group, she didn't really have to pretend to be anything other than who and what she was. Sue Ellen understood the mentality too and at times, she had been just as bad as the rest of the members, however, she did like to think that her life wasn't like that all the time, but from what she'd heard and experienced, she assumed Marilee's was. Knowing she and Marilee would never be friends and not particularly wanting to be friends anyway, Sue Ellen had chosen to live her life as if Marilee didn't exist, and for the most part, Marilee did the same for Sue Ellen. Unfortunately, something inside Marilee had snapped when she had seen JR and Sue Ellen at the Oil Baron's Club and she had felt the need to make a number of thinly veiled nasty comments toward them. The false niceties had been easy for both JR and Sue Ellen to deal with, because they both knew the score with Marilee, so they were not expecting anything other than what they got, however, what had come next had thrown them for a loop.

JR didn't know how Marilee felt comfortable referencing her formerly promiscuous past in front of Seth, the man she was supposed to be in a committed, monogamous marriage with, but he didn't really care too much, it was her life and their marriage, not his. He did care though that Marilee had cruelly decided to remind everyone of their history and had purposely made a vague comment about rekindling old friendships. Seth Stone was a decent man, he wasn't innocent, but whatever he had done in his own past, he didn't deserve a wife like Marilee, a woman who didn't seem to have received the message that married women weren't supposed to act the way she had with JR and in polite society, the majority of things she said weren't acceptable. JR didn't know how or why Seth put up with Marilee's obnoxious and toxic behaviour, but it wasn't really his problem to worry about, at least it hadn't been until earlier in the day.

What he was dealing with now really wasn't something that had needed to happen; Marilee was a spiteful woman for reasons unknown, because she had lived a very privileged life and really, she had no reason to say or do such purposely dramatic and nasty things. Her comments regarding her and JR's past intimate relationship served no purpose except to make Sue Ellen jealous and angry, JR angry, and Seth, well, JR didn't really know what her intention was with him, though he did know that she probably wasn't trying to please him. Whatever Marilee's reasons for saying what she had, the end result was still the same, Sue Ellen had slapped her, glared at JR and then walked into the elevator without another word. Knowing his next moves were important and would affect how the situation between he and Sue Ellen would turn out, JR had then said a few angry words to Marilee, almost completely ignored Seth and then quickly entered the elevator his wife was standing in. He hated leaving a scene without having time to properly retaliate, because he had a lot more to say to Marilee than he had, however, he wasn't stupid and he knew his marriage was more important than having the final word with a woman who was purposely stirring the pot, waiting for drama to ensue.

Unfortunately, whatever path he had chosen to take in response to Marilee's intentionally provocative comments wouldn't have been right in Sue Ellen's eyes, because she was hurt and angry that the whole thing had occurred, and she needed a little time to calm down before she could see things clearly again. Deep down, Sue Ellen knew Marilee's comments were intended to hurt and upset her, so to react that way was just giving Marilee what she wanted, however, she couldn't help but feel that way, because no matter how horrible Marilee's intent was, she had been basing some of her comments off the truth of the past. Whether Sue Ellen liked it or not, JR had a past that didn't include her, and even though he had explained to her years ago that his relationship with Marilee was complicated, but nothing to worry about, just hearing him say that didn't automatically make her negative feelings disappear.

After JR had stepped foot in the elevator, he had known all was not well, because instead of crying, shouting, slapping him or really showing any kind of emotion, Sue Ellen had simply looked coldly and blankly at him, and now, after almost half an hour of complete silence from her, he knew he had to do something. If Doctor Williams had taught him anything, it was that he and Sue Ellen never fixed their problems by not speaking and the longer they held things inside them, the harder it became to fix the original problem, because it was reasonable to need a little time to think, but too much time to stew was never a good thing.

Getting off the highway, driving through Braddock and then passing the perimeter of what was now his and Sue Ellen's land, JR then made a surprising turn. He and Sue Ellen were going to talk and sort out whatever the problem was now, before it turned into something much bigger than it needed to be.

To be continued….


	414. Irrational Insecurity

**Dallas, Texas**

Standing under a tree on their long driveway, Sue Ellen wasn't sure how she felt. On one hand, she was so sick of reliving and being reminded of the past, because without fail, every time she and JR seemed to find happiness, something or someone came out of nowhere to bring their relationship crashing back to earth. On the other hand though, she felt that perhaps she had overreacted to the events earlier in the day and she needed to remember what both JR and Doctor Williams had told her in the past; if she was going to forgive then she had to actually forgive, not just say she did but secretly hold a grudge. In this case, it appeared that although she possibly had the right to be angry, she was also possibly overreacting. Right now, JR was being direct, logical and empathetic toward her and she was being irrationally jealous and angry about something that had happened in the past and was only a hypothetical thing in the present. Marilee and JR had had a sexual relationship in the past, that was a fact; she didn't like it and she didn't want to think about it, but she had no control over it and no right to be angry about it, because it had happened before she and JR had known each other, but not since. As far as she was aware too, what JR and Marilee had had really was purely physical; there was some psychological game playing, JR had never denied that, not even years previously when she had first asked about his relationship with Marilee, but their physical connection had never had anything to do with romantic feelings. In her mind, she knew she was probably overreacting and Marilee was getting exactly what she wanted, but she also knew she would always have an emotional weakness when it came to JR's commitment to her. She needed reassurance that he had no interest in Marilee's invitation to rekindle their old 'friendship'; she needed reassurance that the relationship he had had with her had not been a romantic one; and she needed reassurance that in the past five and a half years, nothing had happened between he and Marilee. It was stupid, because deep down, she already knew the answers, but she needed to be told again, for her own peace of mind.

"JR, I'm not angry with you, but I'm also not completely happy right now. I hate that this keeps happening and I hate that I allow myself to be so affected by it. That woman gets under my skin and plants seeds of doubt in my mind, I know that, I can admit to that, but I can't just move past that knowledge without first seeking reassurance. Please, just remind me again about what your previous and current relationship is; I need to know". Hearing his wife begging him for reassurance, JR's mind was all over the place; he was angry and annoyed at Marilee for causing so many problems and he was annoyed that he and Sue Ellen seemed to face the same problems over and over, even though he'd been a better man for so long now. Most of all though, he was still empathetic toward her, because as Doctor Williams had explained, Sue Ellen had clearly been damaged by a lot of things in the past and when she got into a certain frame of mind, it was difficult for her to refocus herself and accept the answers she was being given. He had to have patience with her, even if it was extremely frustrating to keep reliving the same experiences, so doing what he knew was the right thing to do, he explained himself once again. It was stupid for him to have to explain Marilee, she was a nobody from before he even knew Sue Ellen, but at the same time, he had nothing to hide about his relationship with her now and he knew that if he argued, he would end up making things worse, so he just reiterated his point.

"Sue Ellen, calm down, this is exactly what that woman wants; she's trying to cause problems because she's bored and spiteful, you even said so yourself, so please, just listen to me and listen to your intuition; don't allow her to have that much power. I'll answer all of your questions, but I need you to work with me too, I need you to communicate with me". Pausing for a moment, he waited for Sue Ellen to show him she was listening and understood what he was saying, and when she nodded and looked him in the eye, he knew she was and he could see she was beginning to calm down. "You asked about my relationship with that woman, so I'm telling you; we don't have and I don't wish to have any relationship with her. I never see her unless we are at a social function, but during those times, you are always with me. To be honest, you probably see her more than I do, so I don't think you have anything to worry about in terms of our current contact. Our past relationship is a little more complicated, but not in the way she's insinuating or you're thinking. There was never, ever anything romantic about our relationship, it was a psychological and physical game, one that I am very glad to be out of and I honestly do regret being a part of".

"It's hard to explain, because you and I have always had a romantic angle to our relationship, but with Marilee, that was never the case. She's a lot like the old me when it comes to getting what she wants out of other people; she likes a challenge and she doesn't like to lose; she sets her sights on something and then goes after it; she's manipulative and not shy about what she wants. All of those things are pretty irrelevant to you and I, so I won't try and analyse her too much, but I can tell you that I understand why she does things sometimes, which is why I'm telling you now to try and let it go. It's not nice or even really easy to explain, but she feeds off negative energy; I know it because at times, I've done the same thing. As I said, it's not nice and it's not right, but I understand, that's why I can honestly say, while slapping her and telling her exactly how you feel is satisfying in the moment, the best solution to the overall problem is really just to ignore her. Our marriage is much stronger than her singular spiteful attitude; I really hope you believe that, because I do".

Unsure of what else to say or do to get her to understand and believe him, JR then waited for her to respond. He wanted to be the rational one in the relationship, because past experiences had taught him that not talking about things and brushing over them with a kiss and make up attitude never worked out well. It was hard to be the calm, collected one though, because sometimes he did just want to shout and aggressively make his point; sometimes he did just want to question why things were always an issue in their relationship, even after they had agreed to leave the past in the past. Remembering what Doctor Williams had explained though, he knew better than to just shout at her that he and Marilee were nothing to each other and her being paranoid and needy was stupid. He knew he had hurt her; he knew she was insecure from past experiences; and he knew he needed to be someone she could trust, not someone she feared, so instead of getting frustrated and responding aggressively, he tried to stay calm and explain everything. He had nothing to hide; he and Marilee really were nothing to each other and she really was just a miserable, catty woman, so everything he was saying was the truth, even the part about understanding her. It wasn't something he was proud of, because he knew that it was pretty rotten to intentionally put someone else in a bad situation for his own personal gain, however, he couldn't deny he hadn't done it on several occasions. He wanted to be a better man for Sue Ellen and John Ross, and he thought he was doing a pretty good job so far, however, he would always have an understanding of the darker side of life, because before being a husband and father, he hadn't exactly been a clean, honest man. If explaining that part of his mind was what it took to get Sue Ellen to understand the point he was trying to make, then that's what he would do. For now though, he would wait and see what she had to say before he went any further into explaining why he so deeply understood the satisfaction Marilee gained from making other people uncomfortable, angry and upset.

To be continued…


	415. Predictably Unpredictable

**Dallas, Texas**

Eyeing her daughter as she entered the house, Patricia immediately knew something strange had happened during the time she and JR had been gone. When Miss Ellie enquired about their meeting with the interior design team, and both JR and Sue Ellen seemed a little dazed and vague about the details, as if it hadn't just happened, she was then absolutely sure something strange was going on. Sue Ellen was the type of woman who took an interest in the way things looked and were presented and prior to the meeting, she had been ecstatic about having such a large blank canvas to work with, so for her to be so vague about what they had decided was strange, suspicious and a little worrying. She wasn't too worried though, because she and JR had returned home looking somewhat happy, they had immediately shown a lot of positive attention to John Ross and they were eventually able to remember why they had been gone for the past few hours and what had happened in their meeting. It was very clear to Patricia though that the meeting and lunch they had attended afterward were not the only things that had happened that day, or at the very least, those two events hadn't been as simple and uneventful as expected. Whatever was going on, it was clear that neither JR nor Sue Ellen were going to acknowledge it publicly, and from past experience, she knew her questions regarding their strange behaviour would not be appreciated, so instead of asking why they were behaving so bizarrely, she kept her mouth shut, but her eyes open. She wouldn't ignore her observations, but she would refrain from making comments about them, because she was actually enjoying her time at Southfork and she didn't want to ruin her chances of being invited back for another non-holiday visit.

Across the room, Sue Ellen's mind was elsewhere. Naturally, she loved holding her son, but for some reason, right now, that was all he wanted from her. He didn't want to be put down on the floor with his toys, he didn't want to sing a song or read a book and strangely, he didn't even want to be with JR; he would whimper and whine if she even attempted to redirect his attention away from allowing him to just stare at her. She didn't really understand it, it wasn't unusual for him to want to be with her, but his clinginess and pickiness right now was strange and a little worrying. Perhaps he was just overtired, it did sound as if he had had a long, exciting afternoon with his two grandmothers, however, she worried that if she was wrong and he wasn't just overtired, then there was something more serious causing the mood he was in. Was he sick? Was he too attached to her like her mother had warned her he was becoming? Had she spoiled him with attention and ruined his ability to adapt to situations where she wasn't there for more than the couple of hours she usually left him for? Whatever it was, she was growing concerned and unfortunately, although he was unable to speak yet, John Ross could clearly sense her worried demeanour and was feeding off that energy, growing more unsettled by the minute.

Not happy about his son's rejection, JR felt a small amount of satisfaction when John Ross' clingy excitement at being reunited with his mother then turned into him fussing in Sue Ellen's arms, however, after observing the situation for a little longer, he suddenly felt very guilty and ashamed that he'd been happy about their discomfort. He didn't want his son or his wife to be unhappy and clearly, right now, they both were. John Ross' previous disinterest in being with him wasn't something he could or should blame Sue Ellen for and realistically, it was probably only a temporary mood, so it was pretty terrible for him to have thoughts about teaching her a lesson about what it felt like to be rejected by their son. Unfortunately, as he'd explained to Sue Ellen earlier in the afternoon, there was a part of him that did understand the satisfaction and occasional happiness that came from other people's unhappiness. Considering everything, he cursed Marilee again for her outburst; he had had to do a lot of explaining to get Sue Ellen back on his side, but he'd managed to do it. Unfortunately, it was now apparent that he also had a lot of thinking and explaining to do to himself, because it was incredibly wrong for him to derive any satisfaction from the discomfort of his son and wife. Keeping Bobby in his place and making sure everything ran well for Ewing Oil was completely different to what he had with Sue Ellen and John Ross and he knew he had to change the way his mind worked now, before he did or thought anything worse than he just had. He didn't want to be a bad father or husband and he was willing to do whatever it took to make sure he wasn't.

Quietly asking his mother when John Ross had last been fed and hearing that it hadn't been that long ago, but since he'd been growing a lot lately, he was probably due to eat again soon, he then motioned to Teresa to prepare his son's bottle. He then moved toward Sue Ellen and John Ross, spoke in a quiet tone again and sent them upstairs to the nursery. John Ross was probably just tired and grumpy, not purposely rejecting him, however, if he was, then he was going to at least attempt to show him he was worth giving another chance to. He didn't know if babies had any concept of holding a grudge or granting a second chance, but it didn't really matter, he wasn't just going to give up on fatherhood because of one bad experience; he wasn't that stupid, weak or pathetic.

Half an hour later, after feeding her son and gently rocking him from side to side until he fell asleep, Sue Ellen then closed the nursery door, walked across the hall to her and JR's bedroom and promptly burst into tears. What had started out as a wonderfully exciting day had turned into a huge mess and although both her issues with JR and John Ross were now effectively over, because she did believe and trust JR and she had managed to calm a tired, cranky John Ross, she was still incredibly overwhelmed by everything.

Why were things so difficult? All she wanted was to be happy, but without fail, just as she was finally getting what she wanted, there was always something or someone waiting in the wings with bad or upsetting news for her. John Ross was just a baby, she couldn't blame him for anything, especially not something like his crankiness affecting her mood, because naturally after a long day, he would be grumbly and fussy. She was his mother, she was the adult in the situation and it was up to her to deal with it as best she could, and finding reasons to blame him for why she was so unhappy in the present moment was definitely not the best way to deal with things. As well as that, she was upset with her situation with JR. She couldn't be mad at him for the way he had been before they had even known each other, it wasn't fair, she knew that and in a way, she actually felt it too. What she was really upset about was the fact that no matter how hard she tried and no matter how many commitments they made to each other now, the past was still there and there was always someone around to remind them of it. JR didn't have ex-girlfriends, he had ex… women, and unfortunately, he'd had terrible taste and/or a lack of self-control in the past, so the type of women that seemed to reappear were always just itching to cause trouble.

Allowing herself to cry freely for five or ten minutes, without shame or attempting to control herself, her tears and sniffles then began to subside and for reasons she couldn't explain, a few things suddenly became clear to her. JR and Doctor Williams were completely right, she could not go on living her life in a state of waiting for the other shoe to drop and always being suspicious about things that had no basis in fact now. The past was the past and it had to stay that way. The present was now though and it was ridiculous for her to constantly question him, doubt him and always act needy and weak around him, because she had changed and so had he, and those changes had been for the better. What was also ridiculous was the basis for her worries about the present; JR had made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with Marilee or any other woman, and up until just a few hours ago, she hadn't had any doubts about his words. It was incredibly stupid for her to be so affected by the words of a malevolent, manipulative, unhappy woman like Marilee Stone, because deep down, she knew she was trying to cause trouble, so to fall into that trap was giving her exactly what she wanted.

What Sue Ellen wanted for herself and JR was for their relationship to be as happy as it had been recently, and she knew that JR was trying as hard as he could to make sure that happened, but she was being difficult and silly. Knowing that, she then also knew what she had to do and standing up, she walked into the bathroom, splashed cold water on her face, retouched her makeup and then strode out of the bedroom with a purpose. She would find JR, she would apologise for being so immature, needy and untrusting, and then she would do what she had done so many times before, she would promise she had wiped the slate clean; this time though, she was determined for her words to actually stick. She could not control the past, but she could control how she reacted to reminders of the past. She was well aware that she achieved absolutely nothing by acting as if she had personally been wronged by things that honestly had no impact on her life, her own self or her relationship with JR, at least not if she didn't allow them to. In the same way her high school and college dating record had no effect on her current relationship with JR, she couldn't allow his past to affect her; she knew that now and this time, she was absolutely determined to make sure her emotional reaction to life followed the same path her logical mind was taking.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: No chapter tomorrow. Thanks so much to everyone who has been reading and reviewing :)**


	416. Malaise

**Dallas, Texas**

Examining his young patient, Doctor Danvers noted a few things down, read over his notes briefly and then looked at the boy's parents. Sue Ellen Ewing had always had a tendency to worry too much about small things and while JR didn't worry nearly enough about his own health, it was clear he too was worried about his son. Luckily for them and more importantly, John Ross, they were just being overly cautious and really didn't have anything to worry about, because as far as he could tell, John Ross Ewing III was a healthy little boy. He wasn't his usual happy self at present, everyone at Southfork had noted that during the past couple of days, though Sue Ellen had been more worried than Miss Ellie, because Miss Ellie's intuition and experience with babies told her that there wasn't anything seriously wrong. Even with that small reassurance though, after the first couple of days of John Ross' discomfort, it then did enter into everyone's minds that perhaps something terrible could possibly be wrong, and if there was even a possibility of that being true, then they needed to seek a professional medical opinion. Making a house call to visit the youngest Ewing, Doctor Danvers was now satisfied that he could officially rule out that speculation though; as far as he was concerned, John Ross was suffering from nothing more serious than just side effects of natural growth and development.

Opening John Ross' mouth and shining a light onto his gums, he then moved over so both JR and Sue Ellen could look at what he wanted to show them. "Do you see that? The little bump? I suspect that is the reason for John Ross' discomfort these past few days. He's teething. Well, he has been for months probably, because it doesn't just suddenly happen, but this is new, this is the first of his teeth to actually break through the gum. In order for it to come through, it needs to cut its way through the gum and clearly, that hurts, hence why he hasn't been settling well recently. I can recommend a few things I think would help, but for the most part, it's just something everyone has to deal with at some point in their lives and you have to take comfort in the knowledge that the discomfort John Ross is in at the moment is just temporary, it's not permanent and it's perfectly normal". Observing JR and Sue Ellen as he spoke, he was pleased to see that his words appeared to bring them a lot of relief, and when Sue Ellen thanked him and then asked him for his recommended course of action and appeared to hang on his every word, he knew everything would be ok. They were first time parents and they were human, no one expected them to know everything without asking for advice and experiencing things on their own and naturally, as with most parents, seeing their child distressed upset them, but they were asking and they were eager to do whatever was necessary to maintain their family's health and happiness.

An hour later, after putting some of Doctor Danvers recommendations into practice, Sue Ellen sighed with relief as John Ross's eyes drooped and eventually closed. He was still clingy, but she didn't mind his clinginess when she knew he was seeking her out for comfort and she was able to provide him with that comfort. She felt a little bad for JR, because over the past couple of days, although their personal relationship had improved, she could tell he was beginning to get frustrated with the diminished connection between him and John Ross. She knew he knew it wasn't because he'd done anything wrong and it wasn't because John Ross was knowingly holding some grudge against him, but she also knew sometimes he was just as influenced by irrational emotion as she was. Making a mental note to ensure JR knew what the situation was and that none of it was his fault, she then laid John Ross down in his crib, watched him sleeping for a moment and then left the nursery, walking across the hall to her and JR's bedroom.

The past few days had been a little strange and very tiring and in the moment, all she wanted to do was feel at peace again. She had forgiven JR, explained her feelings of frustration regarding the seemingly constant reappearance of old issues, and then they had talked about it and he'd accepted her apology and offered the only thing he could, the promise of his love and an apology for his past wrongdoings. She wasn't angry or upset with him anymore, she was just tired of the situation his past presented them with, however, she also knew it wasn't fair to blame him for the actions of others, especially vengeful ones like Marilee Stone, and it wasn't fair to keep punishing him for past mistakes. She had told him she forgave him and she meant it, she did forgive him and she was absolutely determined to move on, so except for momentary reactions when bad things did happen, she vowed not to dwell on the past.

Doctor Williams had been a wonderful addition to her life and she was truly grateful for the way he had helped her to see the world. She still had a long way to go personally, because she didn't want to have the immediate reactions to things that she sometimes did, but she was sure she had made a lot of progress. She felt the same way about her and JR's marriage counselling; they still had a few more things to work through before they would be able to comfortably step back from having Doctor Williams close involvement in their marriage, however, they had come a long way and she felt optimistic about the future. All she needed was for the temporary setbacks they were facing right now to disappear and she was sure all would be well again. She and JR were stronger than the problems they faced; she truly believed that was the truth.

"He's asleep", entering the bedroom, she was comforted by the familiar image of her husband sitting on the bed reading, and walking over to him, she didn't really have any plan except to be close to him. She needed JR, she needed John Ross, and she hoped that soon enough, things would be back to normal for the three of them.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: This is as far as I have written so far. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them :) (I know, no more whiny Sue Ellen lol; I'm working on that). For time context, it's mid-December 1972. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	417. Fortunate

**Dallas, Texas**

Hearing a child whimpering in fear as the costumed performers moved around on the stage, Sue Ellen looked down at John Ross to check he was still ok. She was fairly certain now that she understood her son well enough to be aware of what he was feeling, however, there was no harm in making sure. Seeing him staring straight at the stage, transfixed on the production, she knew her intuition about the situation was correct; as expected, his lack of fussing or crying meant exactly what she thought it did, he wasn't scared, he was enjoying himself.

As part of making a real effort to make connections and build proper, lasting friendships, Sue Ellen had accepted and helped plan some of the additional outings for the mothers and babies in the playgroup she and John Ross attended once a week. Purchasing tickets to a matinee performance of The Nutcracker by a local children's theatre hadn't been her idea, in fact, she'd initially been concerned that the general age of the children in the group was a bit too young for the length and content of the ballet, however, it seemed to be a success so far. A few children in the audience appeared to be frightened of the mice characters, but once the scene changed and the more magical, whimsical scene and characters appeared, the general feeling appeared to be positive.

As the ballet ended and everyone stood to leave, Sue Ellen stifled a grin; she'd been right about one thing, the production was entertaining, but it was too long for the attention span of the group of children she was with. Even with the slightly shortened production, almost every child under the age of two was either fussing or asleep; the older children seemed in good spirits, but it would probably be at least a year before she brought John Ross back to a sit-down production like a ballet or play. She imagined he'd soon be interested in a children's concert where he could singalong and dance, but as of right now, he and other children his age just weren't interested in or really able to focus on one activity for over an hour. She wasn't unhappy though, she adored The Nutcracker and even if John Ross had grown restless and then fallen asleep part-way through, she had still thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

Half an hour later, after an impromptu decision to continue the outing, even if their babies were all asleep, Sue Ellen found herself sitting in Marcia Jenkins living room listening to the fascinating tales of real housewife life. She knew she was privileged, but she had always assumed she wasn't completely removed from the real world, however, after hearing multiple stories about what being a wife, mother and woman meant for a large group in society, the middle class, she wasn't so sure her perception of herself was so accurate anymore. Her charity work had always focused on the less fortunate members of society and she'd assumed most of the problems they faced were related to their lack of privilege, however, these women also had a lot of very interesting stories about their struggles, and they were all wives of businessmen, so she wasn't sure what to think. She wasn't stupid, she knew not all professionals were on the same level as JR and the men he did business with, and she was well aware from the many conversations she and her college friends had had that marriage, even to a man with an established career, didn't guarantee a life without personal and financial struggle. She was clearly naïve though, because prior to hearing the conversation going on, she'd really had no idea how little her mother's lessons about domesticity and real life had actually taught her.

Patricia Shepard was old fashioned, she believed a woman should know how to run her home, manage her family, present herself well and always appear ready to serve others, though her plan had always been for Sue Ellen and Kristin to never have to actually use any of their domestic skills for survival. Sue Ellen had always been pushed toward marriage to a wealthy man, however, clearly, as she already knew, her upbringing had been different to her peers, though it was only now that she realised just how different. Where she had been taught to cook, clean and serve her husband and family, it had never been required of her that she actually juggle multiple demands and deal with the consequences if she didn't achieve everything expected of her. She had Teresa to cook and clean, she had had a baby nurse and Miss Ellie to assist her with taking care of John Ross day-to-day and even though she had always tried hard to, JR never really expected her to do anything more than offer him support and generally just be there for him. The problems she and JR had had had been more about their personal relationship and a huge miscommunication of what the other wanted and where they expected to get it from, rather than anything to do with marriage itself. They never had financial problems; JR was in an excellent career position; she was always there to greet him as he arrived home from work; they were on the same page when it came to what they wanted in their marriage now; they had a satisfying sex life; and they agreed on how they wished their son to be raised. She felt lucky, privileged and thankful for the way her life was, because apparently, it was different to the way things were for other women.

Staying quiet as the rest of the group chatted, Sue Ellen considered everything. Obviously not all wives, mothers and women had the same experiences, and even with what they were sharing now, it wasn't all bad and it wasn't all said in an intentionally negative or upset manner; it was really just shocking and eye-opening for her to hear, because she'd honestly never realised just how different her life was. Thinking about it, she didn't know if it was selfish, but she was somewhat relieved that her life was the way it was, because even though it was fun to play house and act submissively in play with JR, she enjoyed the freedom his wealth and power afforded them. She enjoyed being able to pick and choose when she would use her domestic skills and when she would leave the hard work to someone else; she enjoyed not having any experience or expecting to ever experience arguments related to financial problems; and she enjoyed having an open schedule where she could have fun with JR and John Ross. Being a young Ewing wife had been isolating and bad for her mental health at times, however, looking at her life now and knowing how happy she was, she knew she would do it all again if it meant ending up where she was now.

To be continued…


	418. Matriarchal Duty

**Dallas, Texas**

Although he was busy at work, doing his regular job plus making plans to ensure everything would run smoothly in a couple of weeks when the Ewing Oil offices shut down over Christmas and New Year, JR was never too tired to spend time with his wife and son. Doctor Danvers had been right when he had said John Ross was just fussy because he was going through some uncomfortable teething pain, because now, a few days later, things appeared to be back to normal, just the way he liked it.

Driving home from work, he smiled to himself as he thought about the upcoming weekend. He and Sue Ellen had no specific plans for that evening, but with the way their relationship was right now, he had no doubt it would be enjoyable. He had never really been much of a homebody, but with Sue Ellen, he actually enjoyed spending time at Southfork, because there was actually something fun and interesting for him to do there now. That didn't mean he wanted to spend all of their time at Southfork though, so with that in mind and knowing that Sue Ellen loved it when he made an effort, he had organized a date for them on Saturday evening. They would start their evening with a drink or two at a nice bar, then they would move on to attending the symphony orchestra's Christmas concert, then he'd planned for them to have a quiet, intimate dinner at Scalini, a restaurant he knew was nice but wasn't widely frequented by their associates. All of those plans would be somewhat expected for Sue Ellen, because he'd done the gentlemanly thing and asked her to go out on a date with him rather than just informing her it was happening. He had withheld some information though, because he wanted her to be surprised; she didn't particularly enjoy surprises, but he knew she'd like this one, because she was always eager to spend time completely alone with him. She would be thrilled to hear he had arranged for their evening date to continue after their dinner was over and eventually conclude with them, alone together in a suite at one of Dallas' finest hotels. Sue Ellen loved a little bit of romance and JR couldn't deny he enjoyed planning something and then watching things unfold as he enacted it; he had no doubt this would give him the same satisfaction and he was excited for the next evening. For the moment though, he was simply happy to be almost home, because he genuinely enjoyed the routine he, Sue Ellen and John Ross had fallen into recently.

An hour or so later, Miss Ellie observed her son and daughter-in-law as the family chatted with each other during pre-dinner cocktails. They looked extremely happy and content and she was very grateful for that; she was also a little worried though, because although she truly wanted to believe things were finally perfect, she knew she had to be realistic. Perfect marriages didn't exist, that was just a fact of life; there would always be disagreements, though she was confident that JR and Sue Ellen were finally on the same page, so their disagreements about large things would probably not occur again. That being said, things were still new and she was afraid of putting too much on them right now; she didn't want to put their marriage under any more strain than they had just recovered from, however, she knew Jock's upcoming proposition had the potential to do just that.

Jock had never been thrilled about losing JR, John Ross and Sue Ellen as permanent residents at Southfork, but he had agreed not to fight their decision for two reasons. The first was because as much as he hated to remember sometimes, his son and daughter-in-law were adults and he had no real say in what they did with their lives and no real power to control their actions. The second reason was a little more complicated and devious; upon hearing JR and Sue Ellen's intention to leave Southfork and purchase the old Wade ranch land, he had begun plotting and had quickly devised a way to twist the situation so he also benefitted.

Miss Ellie loved her husband, but she didn't always support what he was doing or planned to do and in this situation, she knew she had to tell him exactly how she felt. She couldn't allow Jock to do something that would introduce tension in the family at a time where their time with JR, Sue Ellen and John Ross was already about to be cut. She couldn't allow Jock to attempt to convince JR that it was his duty to assist in the expansion of Southfork ranch.

Aaron Southworth was a champion of the land, specifically, using it purposefully and responsibly, assisting it to flourish and provide, not robbing it of all its resources and then leaving it dead and worthless; so technically, he probably wouldn't have been pleased to hear how few future plans his grandson had planned for the land he and his wife owned. Miss Ellie also knew her father well enough to know though that despite his feelings regarding responsible and resourceful land use, he wasn't an unfair man and he wouldn't have supported or respected forced or strongly pressurised decisions like the one Jock was about to attempt to guilt JR into. Ellie Ewing's feelings about the situation were complicated; she too loved the land, so she wanted to see it used for something useful, however, she also knew it wasn't really her choice what happened to the land JR and Sue Ellen owned and she didn't believe Jock's intentions were pure, so she couldn't bring herself to completely support his proposition. If JR and Sue Ellen wanted to give back to the earth and the community by allowing their land to be put to use for cultivation or ranching, then she would completely support their decision, however, if they really just wanted to live on a semi-landscaped, semi-rural non-working ranch, then that was their right too and she would support them. She understood their intentions for moving away from the Ewing family home, they wanted independence; she and Jock had to loosen the reins a little, they couldn't attempt to maintain overall control of what and how things happened, not when their family members were independent adults.

Knowing how she felt and knowing Jock's intention to maintain a certain level of control over JR by tying him into another business venture and family responsibility, she knew she had to say something and she had to do it soon. She wasn't usually passive or quiet, but for some reason, she had been about this. No longer though, Jock had to learn that there were boundaries and consequences for his actions and unfortunately, she could see that if he kept going with his plan the way he had intended, he would learn that lesson much too late. JR would probably be interested in a financial gain from his land, he loved money, but it had to be his idea or an idea he felt equally a part of; he wouldn't appreciate or put up with being told what to do in his personal life. Ewing Oil was different, he knew his father was the president and a wise man, but he wasn't stupid, he would see this proposition for what it was if Jock approached the situation the way his wife knew he intended to, and Ellie knew if things went wrong, they risked losing a lot more than what they currently were. Yes, she absolutely had to speak to Jock and make her opinion heard, it was the only way to protect the overall Ewing family and the relationship JR and his family had with everyone.

To be continued…


	419. Almost Alone

**Dallas, Texas**

Although the evening had been spread out over a number of hours, after having a drink before the symphony, during intermission and then sharing a bottle of champagne with JR at dinner afterwards, Sue Ellen's mind was nicely hazy and her inhibitions were lowered as they eventually made their way upstairs from the hotel bar to their suite. It wasn't that she needed lowered inhibitions to be attracted to, want to be with or actually make moves toward being with JR, but after drinking a little, she loved how relaxed she was, and it showed. JR had no doubt about what would occur when they were finally in their private suite, because he knew his wife well enough to know her signs and signals and know his own feelings. He knew, he knew what she wanted and where the evening would take them, not only from his own logical understanding of the situation, but from the physical and emotional signs she gave him. Some of her actions were conscious, but others were subconscious and even she didn't really know she did them, JR did though. He knew the signs; her change in spoken tone, the way she looked at him, the direction their conversation went in, the general flirtatiousness of their interactions and the way she made moves to touch him in any way she could. He knew, whether it was a gentle graze of her foot against his leg, a small touch of his hand or something more obvious, like her occasional touching of his face and eventually, when they were alone in the elevator, the way she began gently running her fingers over his tie and then his chest. She wanted him and he knew he wanted her, so he knew what was coming and he was definitely looking forward to it. Sue Ellen was unpredictable in a lot of ways, but in many ways, she wasn't, and in their current situation, he had no problem with her being predictable, it made him feel good to know she was just as interested and invested in the situation as he was.

Relaxed and exhilarated by the events leading up to where she and JR were now, Sue Ellen couldn't help but show him just how happy she was. She loved their quiet evenings at Southfork and she was sure she would be even more pleased with their evenings completely alone in their new home, but it was also nice to get out of the house and do something. It seemed strange, because she and JR had long passed the point where a date was _needed_ in order for anything more intimate to be appropriate between them, but for reasons that she couldn't clearly define, she loved being his date for the evening in addition to being his wife all the time. She loved going places, doing things, making memories and having experiences with JR that existed between just the two of them. She wasn't sure if it was societally unacceptable nowadays to really enjoy being treated like a lady, but she did and she was thrilled that her and JR's relationship was back to being the way she'd always hoped it would be and had always enjoyed it being in their good times together.

JR resisted doing so, but he was almost tempted to press the elevator's emergency stop button as Sue Ellen's actions morphed from simply sliding her hands under his jacket and touching his chest into the much more direct action of loosening his tie before moving on to unbuttoning his shirt. Despite her actions not being anything too explicit, though they definitely weren't entirely appropriate for a 'public' space, he found her attention overwhelming; he loved kissing her, touching her and then everything that came from those two simple actions. It took a lot of restraint, but he knew not to allow the situation to progress any further than it currently was, because even if it would probably be a highly enjoyable experience, the risk of getting caught, getting stuck or just having everything end too quickly, was enough to put him off. He wanted to prolong the enjoyment of the evening for as long as he could and he knew that showing just a little self-control right now would ultimately benefit both of them. As the elevator dinged and the doors opened, he couldn't pretend he wasn't relieved though, because although he was able to control his urges, it certainly wasn't easy, because Sue Ellen was a beautiful, sexy woman, one who wanted him and one he wanted, so the sooner they could be alone together, the better.

Jumping slightly as the elevator dinged and the doors opened, Sue Ellen's fright then turned into amusement; there were many times in her life where a little perspective of her actions became clear to her and this was one of them. Automatically moving her hands away from her husband, she smoothed her hair and dress and then let out a small giggle as she caught sight of JR fixing his own appearance. Not that it was anyone's business but theirs, but the thought of her mother ever even hearing a vague hint of their elevator experience amused her; her mother would never approve of such brazen actions in a public space and honestly, she probably had a valid point, but that didn't stop Sue Ellen or JR from acting on their feelings. There was a time and place for real intimacy and she knew it was not in the elevator of a hotel, however, that didn't mean there couldn't be some prelude to what would inevitably come next, or that she and JR had to feel guilty for their actions, which for all intents and purposes, were currently private.

Taking his wife's hand in his, JR wasted no time in stepping out of the elevator and leading the way to their suite. He only had a limited capacity for self-control in situations like these and with the evening's events behind them, his excitement and desire was mounting, while his tolerance for waiting and 'proper' behaviour was quickly diminishing. Luckily, they didn't have to wait much longer to be exactly where they wanted to be, because after walking down the hallway, opening the door to their suite and entering, all thoughts of other people were gone and the only thing that mattered was each other and their present actions.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Sorry I just disappeared for a few days. I'm a bit sick again and just had no energy to sit down and focus properly on editing. There won't be a chapter tomorrow, but after that I should be back to posting on the normal schedule soon. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	420. Hypocrisy?

**Dallas, Texas**

After first attempting to ignore the obvious arguing down the hall, Lucy then nervously paced around her bedroom before eventually making her way down the hall to the nursery. If she was worried and upset by the shouting, then John Ross might be too. He had the advantage of a bedroom further from their grandparent's bedroom than hers was, and he was still a little too young to comprehend everything everyone said, however, she knew him well enough to know that he understood and reacted to different tones of voice, so if he could hear the argument, then he was probably upset by it.

Entering the nursery, she was somewhat surprised to see her baby cousin sleeping peacefully in his crib, even with all the noise in the house. Perhaps his parent's tempestuous relationship had had a strangely positive effect on him and he was able to sleep through anything, or perhaps he was just tired or hadn't heard anything, she didn't know, but whatever it was, she personally found some peace in his peace. Knowing her choices were to return to her own bedroom and worry about the argument her grandparents were having, or to stay as far away from their bedroom as she could, she then pulled a blanket off the shelf in John Ross' nursery and sat down in the rocking chair in the corner of the room. Avoidance wasn't a permanent solution, but for now, it was her preferred option.

Down the hall, in his and Ellie's shared bedroom, Jock Ewing's patience and tolerance for his wife's condescending attitude and pushy, ridiculous demands was growing less and less by the minute. He loved his wife, but he didn't have to listen or agree to everything or even anything she asked of him, let alone demanded. He wasn't stupid, he knew that realistically, he had no actual ability to force JR to do what he wanted, because his eldest son was a grown man, one who had his own money, his own home and land, his own family and who now had a legal guarantee of a future job and ownership of the family business. He knew his intended threats and arguments were hollow and probably a little unfair, but he didn't need his wife telling him just that and he certainly didn't enjoy being told he had to do something different to what he intended. He had allowed Ellie to sway his opinion on things in the past because for the most part, he wanted to keep the peace and he didn't particularly want to get into a power struggle with her over stupid things, but in this case, her demands were just too much. He wouldn't force JR to agree to offer his newly acquired land for purposes that benefitted Southfork ranch, but he did want to at least make him aware of the opportunity and if part of that meant reminding him of his place in the Ewing family and the benefits he could receive as well as give, then so be it.

He was not pleased to hear his wife's opinion on the situation though, especially since her opinion seemed to him to be a bit hypocritical. Somehow, she justified all of her interference and manipulation in JR and Sue Ellen's marriage but when it came to him offering their eldest son an opportunity that could prospectively be a win-win situation, suddenly he was the devil. How many times had she pushed Sue Ellen into saying or doing something that undermined JR's position as the leader and head of their small family? He didn't know exactly, but it had certainly happened more than once. Additionally, she had given JR a number of lectures about his attitude and behaviour and even though he had personally agreed with most of what she had said, because there had been many times where JR did need a good talking to and probably a harsher punishment, he was still annoyed that she didn't see how hypocritical her actions were. She couldn't tell him he was wrong for wanting to talk to JR about something that could affect his family in a positive way and she couldn't tell him he was wrong for wanting their son to act a certain way, because she herself had done the same thing many times before. It didn't matter that the context of her motivations had been slightly different, because when it came down to it, she was just as interfering and manipulative as he was, she just operated more on an emotional level rather than a business level like he did.

"Miss Ellie, when I married you I told you that I account to no woman for my time. I will speak to JR if and when I want to. You're free to do the same, but don't you dare try and control or change my actions. I've listened and gone along with your wishes many times in the past, but this won't be one of them. I told you earlier, I do not plan to steal that land away from him or force him into ranching; I just want to offer him the opportunity to contribute to part of what keeps this family afloat. I don't think that's too much to ask and I don't appreciate you telling me what I can and cannot say. Now, I'm tired, so I'm going to bed". Listening as he husband dismissed her concerns and wishes as if they didn't matter, Ellie Ewing then watched him turn away from her and climb into bed before looking at her expectantly.

She was used to Jock being bullheaded, sexist and controlling, but for some reason, the way he had made it seem as if she was no better than he was had really hurt her feelings. It was as if he saw no difference between his motivations and hers. She did though, she wanted JR and Sue Ellen to be happy and have a home life that was separate from JR's work life and she knew they longed for a life separate from the wider Ewing family too, so to push them into something involving merging their ranch with Southfork would probably not be the wisest idea. Jock didn't seem to care at all about whether JR and Sue Ellen were extremely happy together though. Of course he wanted them to be happy, but he wasn't too concerned about preventing things that put strain on their relationship. He was a businessman and he didn't seem to be able to separate his thoughts regarding the new acquisition of land adjacent to Southfork for personal purposes rather than business purposes. As far as she was aware, JR and Sue Ellen had turned down a number of other properties because they were working ranches, so she really didn't think they would want to turn their own land into a working ranch. She also knew JR though, and even though he was a strong man on his own, he also had a lot of respect for his father and was always keen to please him. If JR agreed to something simply because he felt he couldn't say no, that was a recipe for disaster in his and Sue Ellen's marriage and in his relationship with Jock. No, things had to stay how they were, they had to allow JR and Sue Ellen to make their own decisions and if one day they did decide they wanted to make good use of their land, then that would be nice, but it had to be their decision, not something they did just because they felt obligated to.

Watching his wife as she sighed and then turned and walked away from him, Jock crinkled his forehead, first in confusion and then in frustration and anger. He had ended their discussion and expected her to understand that, but instead of understanding and accepting it, she had done nothing; she hadn't even continued arguing, she'd just given up and looked disappointedly at him. It was annoying and angering; she was so demanding and judgemental, but the minute he demanded anything or tried to make a judgement and group decision, she disapproved and acted like this. It was ridiculous, she was his wife and she knew her place, but for whatever reason, she was choosing to ignore her position as well as his position as the head of the family. Watching as she walked toward the door and then left the room, he didn't even consider following her; she hadn't shouted, thrown anything at him or even threatened to use her horsewhip, but she had made her position perfectly clear. He knew she wasn't happy with him, but he wasn't happy with her either, so there was no way he was going to follow her or beg her to forgive him; as far as he was concerned, he was right, she was wrong and she would understand that eventually. For now though, he had the bed all to himself and JR would be home in the morning, so a good night's sleep and an early start to prepare his proposal was just what he needed.

To be continued…


	421. Almost Perfect

**Dallas, Texas**

Walking around their partially renovated home, Sue Ellen's smile grew wider. It wasn't necessarily exciting to watch the dust particles dancing in the air or hear her high heels clicking against the hardwood floor; her excitement was related more to what those things represented; in just over a month, she, JR and John Ross would be living there, in their own home. For the most part, the interior was still a mess, the walls had been primed, but not painted, the kitchen and bathrooms had nothing but a few electrical outlets and water pipe connections to indicate their intended uses and there was dust everywhere. Things weren't bad though, because realistically, no one expected a work in progress to look like the final product weeks prior to the expected completion date. Before the remodel had begun, the exterior had looked and been run down and neglected, but now the roof, exterior pipes, chimney and windows had been fixed and the exterior walls had been cleaned and then repainted and the house looked as beautiful as it had in its heyday. The interior would follow soon, Sue Ellen was sure of it and JR had absolutely no doubts, because even though he had every confidence in their contractor's ability, he had also made it very clear that if something did fall short of his or Sue Ellen's expectations, they would not just accept it, someone would be held accountable.

Stopping in what was set to be their bedroom, Sue Ellen walked toward the window and looked out over the vast white fields and snow-covered trees; it was all theirs and she was extremely happy. She was also extremely grateful, she knew she was lucky to be in position where she and JR could afford to live in a grand home and own a large amount of land around that home; she also knew she was very lucky to have a marriage where she had equal input into what they did as a family. Her and JR's marriage had never been perfect, still wasn't perfect and would never be perfect, but right now, it felt pretty close to perfect. She loved to do things to show him she loved him and wanted to be a good wife to him and a good mother to John Ross, and she appreciated when he returned her efforts. She didn't need a lot, she was content to stay home with him and John Ross, because she'd always longed for a peaceful, happy family life, but that didn't mean she didn't enjoy more, and the previous evening and current day's activities were definitely more. Her life was wonderful; their life together was wonderful.

Watching his wife standing at the large window in their new bedroom appreciating their land, JR knew her happy sigh was not just because she enjoyed knowing the fields and trees in front of her were theirs, but because their lives were finally coming together and she was getting everything she'd always wanted. She had never had a strong desire to follow the path of the extremely liberated women she went to college with, she hadn't wanted a career for a lifetime or a life free from men, she simply wanted to fall in love with a man who loved and respected her and live happily ever after. Of course, it was a lot more complicated than that, her mother had heavily influenced her wants and what she had been told to want, and she had always wanted and needed more than just marriage or a relationship to be happy, but at a quick glance, the quiet family life she had now was exactly what she'd always wanted. Allowing her to stay lost in her thoughts for a few moments, JR then slowly stepped closer to her, eventually ending up directly behind her, looking out the same window she was.

Sensing her husband standing behind her, Sue Ellen then turned, whispered a few dreamy, happy words and then kissed him. Their lives together were a mixture of quiet domesticity and thrilling, exciting events. She knew her husband, he needed both, he couldn't have just one or the other, it just didn't work; instead of allowing that knowledge to upset her or influence her negatively though, she instead knew she had to bend and adapt, as did he. JR could have the excitement and spontaneity he clearly enjoyed, but he had to have it with her if he wanted to stay married; Sue Ellen was sure he understood that now though, and she was completely on board with being an equal participant in that side of their marriage, so long as that wasn't all their marriage was. She was confident they'd found a good balance now though, so she didn't worry too much about being enough, just right or too much; she was happy with the way their marriage was and if everything that had happened recently was any indication, so was JR.

Half an hour later, after a relaxed morning visit to their new home, JR and Sue Ellen arrived back at Southfork. An evening away from family life had been nice, and if they weren't parents, neither of them would have minded extending their alone time; they were parents though and as much as they loved being alone together, they did miss their son. Sue Ellen was used to spending a majority of her day with John Ross and JR personally felt as if the evenings and weekends weren't long enough to do everything he'd promised himself he would do with his own son to ensure they had a better, closer relationship than he had with each of his parents. Because of their feelings, there was no doubt in either of their minds that returning to Southfork late on Sunday morning was the best option for them and their family; they deserved time alone together, but John Ross deserved to be raised by both of his parents and they intended to do just that.

Walking into the house, the first thing JR noticed was how eerily quiet it was; Sundays were usually family days and even if that often meant everyone doing their own thing, just on Southfork land, it still usually meant more noise than what he currently heard. He didn't have too long to think about why things were the way they were though, because almost as soon as the thoughts occurred to him, they were interrupted by a noise, though it wasn't really a noise he wanted to hear right now. Turning as he heard Lucy clearing her throat, he immediately noticed her red eyes; she had been crying, but she didn't appear to be looking for comfort, she looked angry, though he didn't have a clue why or why she was directing her anger at him. He hadn't done anything that would negatively impact her or anyone related to her in a long time, so in his mind, he was clear and free, but he sensed that things weren't that simple.

"I hate you JR. Just when things are good again, you always do something to make them bad. I don't know what you did, but I know you did something, something big, because grandma and granddaddy don't just argue for no reason. I hate you, why can't you just leave things alone when they're good?" Unsure of exactly what his little niece was talking about, JR crinkled his forehead before opening his mouth to speak but pausing before doing so; he wasn't going to engage in an argument with a child, especially not when he hadn't done anything wrong. Lucy was probably being dramatic, it wasn't as if she was known for anything less. His niece was a nice enough child when she was well behaved, but when she glared at him and made snide comments, he did find himself wondering why he'd ever followed his daddy's orders and removed her from her mother's care. This was probably just another situation where she was turning nothing into something, and if that was what it was, then that was easy to fix; she was the child, he was the adult and he was innocent. If his parents were arguing, that wasn't good, but it also wasn't his fault; Lucy's reasoning for blaming him was probably just a case of misunderstanding and he would make sure she understood that that's what it was.

To be continued…


	422. Puzzled

**Dallas, Texas**

After asking Teresa to prepare two mugs of hot chocolate, Sue Ellen thanked her and then left the kitchen, making her way upstairs to Lucy's bedroom where she had sent her young niece to wait for her. She and JR were on different pages when it came to 'parenting' Lucy; she didn't see any point in shouting at her when she was clearly upset; her language toward JR had been rude and unnecessary, but it had clearly come from somewhere, and if they wanted an honest answer as to where, they needed to approach the situation tactfully. JR on the other hand didn't have much time for Lucy when she acted the way she had when they'd first arrived home. He was mature and calm enough to know not to engage in an argument with her, because it wouldn't benefit anyone in the end, but he also had no patience or tolerance for listening to her when she was in a mood like she seemed to be in now. Each understanding the way the other was though, they had naturally separated from each other after the initial confrontation with Lucy. As JR headed upstairs to look in on John Ross during his morning nap, Sue Ellen attempted to get on an equal footing with Lucy, partly because she wanted answers and partly because she could see the young girl was upset, even if it was showing as anger on the outside.

Upstairs, sitting in her bedroom alone, Lucy suddenly felt guilty. She was angry and upset with JR, but she had never intended to upset or worry Sue Ellen, and if the concerned tone of voice she had used earlier was any indication, that was exactly what she had done. Sue Ellen was kind, understanding and at times, almost like a friend rather than an adult family member, and because of the loose friendship they had, Lucy felt guilty for inadvertently hurting her; she hadn't meant to and she didn't want to damage their relationship. Hearing a knock at the door, her thoughts were brought back to the present and as she stood to open it, she made a promise to herself; she wouldn't direct the anger she felt toward JR at Sue Ellen, even if she suspected Sue Ellen was somehow involved in the reason why her grandparents had been fighting. The fact of the matter was, Ewing women were strong, but their husbands were stronger, so if Sue Ellen was involved, it was probably still JR's fault.

Ten minutes later, after finding a comfortable spot to sit on Lucy's bed and opening the conversation with a few general comments about what had been happening in their lives recently, Sue Ellen then paused, took a sip of her hot chocolate and gathered her thoughts before directly approaching the question, "Lucy dear, tell me why you were upset earlier. Why were you shouting at JR?"

Down the hall, JR watched his son sleeping for a few minutes before turning his thoughts toward the situation with Lucy, more specifically, what she had said about her grandparents, his parents. She has said she hated him, that was nothing new, what was new information though was her comment about his parents arguing and how somehow, she had connected their argument to him. For reasons currently unknown to him, his niece seemed to believe he had done something to 'ruin' the good situation everyone was currently in. He was puzzled by what she had been inferring with her comments though, because as far as he was aware and was concerned, his relationship with both of his parents now wasn't all too different to how it usually was. His father hadn't been thrilled about getting rid of the morality clause in his contract and he definitely hadn't been too pleased to hear about his and Sue Ellen's intended move, away from Southfork, especially before he'd found out where they intended to move, however, both of those things were old news and had been closed matters for a while. Likewise, his relationship with his mother was just fine as far as he was concerned; she was thrilled to see him finally being a proper husband to Sue Ellen and she had always been proud of the way he had acted when it came to John Ross. His mother had been a little upset at the thought of them leaving Southfork, but once she had heard about their intended purchase of the old Wade ranch land and had heard straight from Sue Ellen that she didn't intend for John Ross to be a stranger, she had quickly come around to the idea. The relationship he had with his parents hadn't changed recently and he hadn't done anything that would be cause for conflict, so if his parents were arguing, then it had nothing to do with him. Lucy had to be mistaken or exaggerating, otherwise nothing she had said made any sense.

Unfortunately, although he knew it was probably best to just wait quietly for Sue Ellen to return to him with a more detailed explanation for Lucy's outburst, he had never been very good at doing nothing and allowing other people to take control, so he felt the need to do a little investigating of his own. It was Sunday, family day, so surely he, Sue Ellen, John Ross and Lucy were not the only members of the Ewing family around, even if they appeared to be the only ones actually in the house at the moment. Bobby was a young, single man who was known for his sociable, likeable personality, so there was no guarantee he had returned home from wherever he had gone the previous evening, however, his parents were more predictable and dependable, they had to be around somewhere and if they were, JR would find them. He wanted answers and Doctor Williams had taught him not to just take one side of a situation as the whole truth, so if while Sue Ellen was gleaning information from Lucy, he could be doing equally helpful work in the form of seeking answers from his parents and/or brother, then that's what he would do. The sooner he could get to the bottom of the situation and get back to enjoying his life as it had been recently, the better.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thanks for all the recent reviews, I really enjoy and appreciate all your thoughts :) To reviewer JR SE Fan: it is December 1972, so definitely closer to the time of Major Nelson than JR Ewing. ****No chapter tomorrow.**


	423. Insecurity

**Dallas, Texas**

"…you say they'll figure it out and I don't need to worry about it, but I do. What if grandma and granddaddy decide they don't want to be married anymore? My daddy left my mama and you left JR, what's stopping grandma from leaving granddaddy? What would happen to me then? You and JR are already leaving and taking John Ross with you; Bobby is fun, but between travelling for work and going out at the weekend, he's hardly ever here; and my parents sure don't want me. I just want things to stay how they have been; I don't like it when grandma and granddaddy fight and I know you say it's not JR's fault, but when I hear his name mentioned more than once in their argument, you can't blame me for feeling angry". Sniffling as she spoke, Lucy's helplessness was apparent. Most of the time she enjoyed the way her life was, but in times of turmoil, she was reminded of the circumstances surrounding her living situation and her inner insecurity about the permanence of that situation. She didn't really remember her life with her parents, but from everything she had heard, it hadn't been anything like what John Ross had, and just since she hadn't heard from either of her parents for a long time, she had a lot of doubts that it would be any better now if she did ever have to return. She didn't want her grandparents to end up like her parents or like JR and Sue Ellen had been many times before, separated and at war with each other; all she wanted was for JR to apologise for whatever he had done to cause an argument between her grandparents and for things to go back to normal. Preferably, JR would also make a promise and change his behaviour so in the future, there were no repeats of the occasional family disagreements he was often somehow linked to, but she knew that was probably too much to ask and not her business to request. She would settle for peace if she could get it, that and happiness were all she really wanted anyway, especially since she, like Bobby before her, had grown up without giving a second thought to the source or availability of money that supported the Ewing family. She just wanted to be happy again, she hated the way worrying made her feel and she had no desire to make the way she felt now a permanent feeling, or even a familiar feeling.

Listening as her niece shakily explained why she was so upset and angry, Sue Ellen had mixed feelings; she was torn between wanting to comfort Lucy in what was clearly a painful, emotional time for her and wanting to shake her because she was being so melodramatic and had clearly overreacted when it came to her interaction with JR earlier. She stopped herself from doing or saying anything she would regret later though, because she was in a better frame of mind than Lucy and she knew reacting in any kind of exaggerated manner would not help the situation. Additionally, Sue Ellen also knew she had no right to tell Lucy she was being silly and her feelings were probably not particularly valid because they were based off such vague snippets of evidence, because as Doctor Williams had told her many times, all feelings were valid and no one had to have a logical explanation for their emotions. As well as that, she also knew that unfortunately, some of Lucy's concerns were completely valid. The fact was, Lucy was a granddaughter living with her grandparents rather than her parents, something had occurred in the past to make that happen and naturally, whatever it was had had an impact on Lucy and she had a few insecurities related to that situation. Sue Ellen didn't know enough about Gary and Valene's situation to make an honest judgement about whether they wanted their daughter, but she had a feeling that their age, maturity levels, general personality characteristics and unfortunate socioeconomic statuses had more to do with their lack of presence in Lucy's life than a lack of love did. Sue Ellen had no doubt that in her life though, Lucy had many people who loved her, no matter what she thought; even JR loved her in his own way, so her insecurity related to her parents 'not wanting' her was understandable, but probably not something to worry a great deal about. In addition to that, Sue Ellen knew Jock and Miss Ellie, they loved their family members and they loved the idea of the family as a whole, so something huge would have to occur for them to even consider making changes to the way the Ewing family existed. Sue Ellen was sure that whatever Lucy had heard, she had imagined the consequences to be much worse than they actually were and would be in the future, because as far as she was aware, there were no problems in the greater Ewing family, especially not ones JR was involved in. JR's shock and confusion at Lucy's outburst earlier was genuine, she could tell just from his facial expression, he didn't have a clue what Lucy was so upset about, and coming from JR, that was a good thing.

Unable to remain solely angry when she was just around Sue Ellen, Lucy found her sniffles quickly developing into sobs and then complete, unrestrained torrents of tears; she hadn't intended for her feelings to take such a sharp turn, but they had. Worrying about her normally happy grandparents arguing and being angry with JR for causing the argument had quickly turned into something much more complex; she had a large family, but in a way, she was still alone, and that thought really upset her. As she felt Sue Ellen's hand in hers and heard her soft, soothing voice reassuring her she would never be alone, that everyone loved her and that she absolutely was wanted, she then found herself even more inclined to cry. Sue Ellen was purposely avoiding saying anything negative about JR, partly because he was her husband and she loved him and was loyal to him, and partly because she could clearly see that despite JR being the catalyst for the entire scene playing out presently, he really only played a small part in a bigger situation. Lucy knew Sue Ellen had an angle, however, in the moment, the comfort and reassurance she was receiving was more than enough to defer any doubts she had about Sue Ellen's motivations; her aunt cared about her and wanted to help her and in the moment, she was willing to take all the love and kindness she could get.

To be continued…


	424. Looking For Answers

**Dallas, Texas**

After looking around the house and finding nothing and no one, JR then drove down to the stables. He personally wasn't too fond of the ranching side of Southfork ranch, but he knew both of his parents were and even if he only found one of them down there, he would end up with more information than he currently had.

Getting out of his car after parking outside the stables, he muttered a few curse words to himself; the wetness of the recent snow did not mix well with the dry, dusty, unsealed paths on the ranch and he was not at all pleased about how dirty his usually clean car looked right now. One of his parents had better be there and they had better have some kind of explanation for why he had come home to an angry Lucy and an empty house, otherwise he would be highly annoyed he had dirtied his car and wasted time he could have been spending with Sue Ellen and John Ross. His weekends were precious, he didn't have time to be sorting out adolescent drama, and he would really rather not spend them sorting out drama in his parents lives, especially since as a married man himself, he didn't particularly enjoy when other people stuck their noses into his marriage, so he had a feeling his questions wouldn't exactly be welcomed. Unfortunately, he felt some need to investigate, because he didn't like being in the dark about things, especially not things he was involved in in some vague way, which from Lucy's outburst earlier, he knew he was. How he was involved, he had no idea, but he was going to get some answers, one way or another.

"Ray!?" calling out for the one Southfork ranch employee he actually knew more personally than just as one of the unnamed ranch hands, JR then waited and wasn't too surprised when Ray appeared from one of the stalls. He didn't know what hours ranch hands were expected to keep, but it seemed that whenever he needed to speak to someone, Ray was always there, and he was pleased to see that hadn't changed. "JR", watching as Ray nodded and acknowledged him, calmly, without any hint of worry about his father's current state, JR then wondered whether he was in the right place at all. "I… uh… have you seen my daddy, or my mama, or even perhaps just Bobby?" momentarily forgetting what he wanted to ask, JR's words came out a little unsure at first, but soon returned to his usual strong, direct tone. Upon seeing Ray nodding his head, he was surprised but relieved when he received a relatively detailed answer, "mhm, Jock was down here this morning. He saddled up and took off a couple of hours ago. I expect he'll be back any minute now. He didn't say, but I got the feeling he just wanted to go for a ride, he wasn't working or anything".

Nodding and thanking Ray for his answer, JR walked into the small office in the stables to use the phone. Calling up to the house, Teresa informed him that Sue Ellen and Lucy were still in Lucy's bedroom, John Ross was still asleep and his mother and brother had not returned home yet. Hearing the updates, he knew his plan to wait for his father to return from his ride was the right one; there wasn't much he could do up at the house anyway.

Two hours after he had left the stables, Jock Ewing returned from a much-needed ride around the ranch. The discussion he and Ellie had been having the previous evening had affected him a lot more than he cared to admit, and waking up alone on Sunday morning had only worsened his mood. If he was being honest, he could see his wife's point, JR had made it clear that he had no interest in ranching, so to try to involve him in ranching was a waste of time, however, that wasn't actually what he intended to do, though his wife didn't seem to understand that. Being an oilman didn't necessarily mean he had to be out drilling in the fields; ranching was similar in that to own or have an economic interest in a ranch business didn't necessarily mean a man actually had to be doing any physical ranch work. It all seemed to make sense to him, JR loved money and he had acres and acres of unused land that could be profitable if he so wished it to be; all he wanted to do was present JR with the opportunity to share in the ranch profits a little more than he already did just from being a Ewing. Ellie didn't seem to understand that he didn't plan to force JR into anything; he knew his heart and mind were in oil, not ranching, but he also knew JR knew a good deal when it came along, and this was one; they could both benefit from it and he saw absolutely no problem with just presenting it to him. He would not apologise and he would not call off his plan just because his wife opposed it; she didn't control him or his actions and even if in the past he had allowed her to have a say and there had been times where he'd allowed her to sway his decisions, those times were the exception to the rule. Business was a man's domain; she would do well to remember that.

After unbridling his horse and hanging up his equipment in the tack room, he looked at his watch and knew that even if he and his wife were not in a particularly good space at the moment, he still had other familial responsibilities and tasks to attend to. It was Sunday, family day, and he was expected up at the house for family lunch in just over an hour; additionally, he wanted to speak to JR about his proposition, so it was time to return home now.

Spotting his father walking out of the stables, JR opened his car door and briskly walked toward him, and as he called out to him, he was extremely surprised to see his facial expression as he registered who was calling his name. For a man who had supposedly been angry with him the previous evening, he sure looked happy to see him. "Daddy", nodding somewhat seriously, he didn't really know what to say next, because 'we need to talk' sounded much too formal and scolding, and he didn't want to appear to be disrespectful to his father. Luckily, his father didn't appear to notice his hesitation and was much too involved in his own thoughts to question what he was there for, and instead of dwelling on JR's presence and how strange it was, he simply moved forward with his own agenda. "JR, just the man I wanted to see", grinning, Jock slapped his son on the back and directed him toward his car, signalling to JR that he was about to get the answers he was looking for, without even having to ask for them.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: I had a quiet weekend, so I have finally managed to get back to having a good amount of chapters pre-written; because of that, there will be no breaks this week. Thanks for reading and thank you to everyone who has left a review recently :)**


	425. Interrupted

**Dallas, Texas**

After half an hour of reassuring Lucy that nothing was her fault and there was absolutely no way anyone would leave her behind or cease caring about her, even if things did change within the Ewing family, Sue Ellen then began to gently redirect the conversation. She needed Lucy to let go of the anger she was directing toward JR, because not only was it unhealthy and unfair for her to be so intently focused on demonizing him for something she didn't even really understand and that didn't actually involve her, it was also rude and unhelpful. Sue Ellen wouldn't lie to herself and pretend JR was always kind and polite to his niece, but in his own way, she knew he did want the best for her and he did treat her well, so it was completely uncalled for for her to carry around some grudge against him and treat him in a nasty way. Lucy and JR had to make nice with each other, otherwise things just wouldn't work. Sue Ellen was sure she could get JR to understand what she meant and could get his cooperation, because for the most part, she knew he was sick of the petty drama he had been involved in in the past and he had no desire to participate in some silly fight over nothing. She wasn't so sure Lucy was going to cooperate so easily though; Lucy was obviously emotionally damaged and looking for someone to blame for things, and JR was an easy target, because in her experience, a lot of things in the past had been his fault. There had been times where the relationship between uncle and niece had been good and without issue, mostly due to Sue Ellen's continued effort to give Lucy the love and attention she so desperately needed, though also at times where they both acted like human beings rather than bratty children, even if Lucy had been one at the time. Sue Ellen hoped that with a little talk to each of them, they could call a truce and return to being civil with each other; JR wouldn't like the idea of making nice when in this case, he hadn't actually done anything wrong, but she knew that she could convince him to appear to be the bigger person. In some ways, it was ridiculous that JR, a grown man, had to put so much effort into finding an equal level with a child, but Sue Ellen was adamant that that was what was necessary for the greater good, and as long as it was done, everything would be ok.

Not realising the time, Sue Ellen's thoughts and her heart-to-heart with Lucy was interrupted by a loud screeching sound, and looking at each other, they both stood and ran down the hallway. Opening the door to the nursery and picking up her now screaming son, Sue Ellen whispered in his ear lovingly and gently bounced him up and down in hopes of reassuring him he was safe and loved. From the way he squirmed and screamed though, it was clear he had awoken a little while ago, because he was usually content to just look around his nursery for a few minutes after waking if no one was there immediately. That state of contentment only lasted so long before his human instinct kicked in and he called out to make sure he hadn't been forgotten about or abandoned though, and unfortunately for Sue Ellen and Lucy, it appeared they had arrived too late for him to calm down just because he recognized their presence in the room with him.

After attempting to calm John Ross and having no luck, Sue Ellen made an executive decision, motioning to Lucy to follow her and then carrying John Ross out of the nursery and carefully walking downstairs. She hated to see her son cry and she hated that her presence alone wasn't enough to reassure him that everything was ok and his life hadn't crumbled, but she somewhat understood the way he felt. It wasn't enough to just tell him things were fine, especially when she wasn't sure whether he truly understood everything she said; she had to show him, and the best way to show him was to actually physically show him that everything was the same. It wasn't exactly helpful that JR, Jock, Bobby and Miss Ellie were missing from Southfork at present, but even just the familiarity of seeing Teresa in the kitchen preparing for family lunch, and watching the horses running around in the field outside was reassuring to him. Sensing a change in her young son, Sue Ellen then turned around and noticed Jock and JR standing in the foyer; it seemed as if they had appeared out of nowhere and it was a little odd that they were on such good terms, considering what Lucy had described as happening the previous evening, however, she wasn't at all disappointed. She was also thoroughly pleased that John Ross appeared to be calming with the familiarity around him, and as JR walked toward them, kissed her on the cheek, whispered in her ear in a calm, composed tone that they needed to talk and then took his whimpering son out of her arms, she somehow knew everything would be ok.

Saying a few quick words to Lucy about continuing their conversation later, Sue Ellen then turned toward her father-in-law, husband and now calm son and made a comment about heading upstairs to ready herself for lunch. As far as she was aware, Bobby and Miss Ellie were still absent from Southfork, but it wasn't like either of them to just not turn up to a family event, so she was confident that come midday, family lunch would commence as usual, albeit a little more tense than usual, but she had no doubts everyone would be present.

As JR watched his wife disappearing up the stairs, he wondered what exactly he had just walked into. John Ross was usually fairly calm and relaxed, but he'd been all worked up when he had entered the house; then there was Sue Ellen, it wasn't like her to just head upstairs without offering to take John Ross with her; something had obviously happened during his absence, though as with many other things today, he didn't know exactly what. Additionally, whatever Sue Ellen had said to Lucy appeared to have worked, because although she hadn't really smiled at him, there hadn't been any glare directed at him either. What really struck him as strange about the present situation at Southfork though was his mother's absence; he still had absolutely no idea why an argument had supposedly occurred between her and his father, in fact, if it hadn't been for her absence and Lucy's outburst earlier, he wouldn't have even known there had been an argument. During his conversation with his father outside the stables and then on the drive back to Southfork, there hadn't been one mention of either of their wives or any argument, just a proposed business deal, one that on a very basic economic level, made a lot of sense, though he couldn't and wouldn't just commit to. Many other things had to go into making a decision about his father's proposal, including that the land being discussed wasn't just his, it was Sue Ellen's too; that in all of their house hunting, they had purposely avoided properties that included a working ranch; and that a huge part of their reason for moving was to gain some independence.

Looking at the grandfather clock in the foyer, JR then turned his attention back toward his father who was looking at him expectantly as prior to walking into the chaos with John Ross, he had been waiting for an answer. "I think I'll go get ready for lunch too. I haven't forgotten what you said though, I'll speak to Sue Ellen this afternoon and see what she thinks and we'll decide together whether we even want to see a proposal". He didn't go too into detail, because he already had and he didn't want to get into a discussion about it being a business decision, i.e. a decision for men to discuss and negotiate, not women, however, he knew his father knew what he meant and even if he didn't really understand it, he could respect it, at least for now. JR and Sue Ellen were more than just a married couple, they were trying hard to be equals, in most areas, including making decisions that would affect their family's life, and this was a decision that required that effort.

Holding his son and making his way upstairs, JR was suddenly struck with a thought; perhaps the reason for his parents supposed fight had to do with all the ways their marriage was different to his and Sue Ellen's. Of course his father hadn't mentioned any argument, because in his mind, he was right and his wife was being silly by demanding to be a part of the decision. Sighing to himself as he realised how much he and Sue Ellen had to talk about after lunch, he then looked down at his son who was now contently snuggled against his chest and shoulder. Even in a somewhat negative and definitely dramatic situation, the simplicity of John Ross' actions and pureness of his love and affection was heart-warming and instantly brightened his day. It would have been nice if everything in life were as easy to fix as whatever he had done to calm John Ross, but unfortunately, the issues adults had were a lot more complex. The relationship he had with his son was nothing to take for granted though, and he knew not to; entering their bedroom, he knew Sue Ellen didn't either, because although she had 'left' her son earlier, her expression upon seeing him now told JR everything he needed to know to feel reassured that all would be ok.

To be continued…


	426. Conferring

**Dallas, Texas**

Pacing back and forth in their bedroom, Sue Ellen looked at her husband and spoke, "I don't like this JR. I feel like we're interfering in their marriage and it feels wrong. I know your parents have had more say in our marriage than we would have liked, but are we any better than them if we attempt to pry information from them and then mediate whatever issue they're having? I gave you my answer to your daddy's proposal. I'm not completely opposed to it long term, but I am opposed to it right now. We need time to settle into our own lives, independent of the rest of the family and independent of any official tie to Southfork ranch. I don't have a problem with the idea of using some of our land in the future for economic and environmental benefits, however, I do take issue with being railroaded into a decision before we've even left Southfork; to me, it feels like an attempt to maintain control of some part of our lives. I know there is no sale of land, so we wouldn't be giving up any of our assets, but I don't like the idea of being a landlord and leasing our land to Southfork ranch, it sets a bad precedent in my mind, as if a little money is enough to sway our decisions on things. I want us to take a little time to get used to living in our own home, on our own land, before we start thinking about all the ways we can make our land productive and profitable if we choose to do that. I want us to at least have the opportunity to figure out exactly which pieces of land we actually use on a regular basis and which we simply own and do nothing with, and I want us to be the ones that have first and final say on how we design our landscaping. I don't want to have to think about or consult anyone before making decisions about our home. Please tell me you understand that?"

She had a fair idea now why Jock and Miss Ellie had been arguing the previous evening, and although she sympathised with what she now assumed to be Miss Ellie's position, she knew better than to involve herself too much in the personal side of the argument, especially when neither Jock nor Miss Ellie has asked her to. She did however know she had to involve herself in the business proposition, because that was something she had a strong opinion about and knew that if she didn't voice that strong opinion, she would be pushed into agreeing to something she vehemently opposed. JR didn't really see it as clearly as she did, but it was obvious that Jock's motivations weren't purely about business, they were personal too, and with personal motivations came selfish thoughts; it wasn't smart to enter into a deal like the one currently being proposed, because they were finally moving toward independence and this would be a step backwards.

Watching his wife pacing back and forth and then listening to her response to his explanation, JR wasn't too surprised by what she was saying; essentially, she was just reiterating what they had already discussed, and the content of their discussion was what he had originally assumed she would say. She wasn't interested in being any more connected to the Ewing family than they already were; she had been the one to propose the idea of them owning their own home and she had always supported him when it came to his bid for the future presidency and ownership of Ewing Oil. She wanted him to be his own man and she wanted their marriage to be one where things were about the two of them and John Ross, not a constant back and forth consultation between them, his parents and her mother. She had a valid point; to enter into a deal where their personal land was tied to a Ewing family business from the very beginning, just seemed a bit too much too soon; she wasn't ruling the idea or a similar one out completely, but she did want to wait a while before considering doing anything productive with their land. It made sense, they didn't need the income ranching would provide, but they did need the time and space owning and controlling their own property would provide, so to sign a deal with his father right now didn't seem like the smartest thing to do.

As well as that, her point about involving themselves in his parents' argument was also true. He personally disliked it when his parents attempted to tell him what to do, and he had hated when it seemed like they were ganging up on him when he had wronged Sue Ellen, so it seemed a bit hypocritical for he and Sue Ellen to start asking questions and sticking their noses into things that didn't really concern them. Of course, they would probably have to approach the subject at some point, because it was now clear that there was a disagreement between his parents, a disagreement that was related to the idea his father had proposed to him earlier. Neither of his parents had actually made any concrete statement confirming the argument and neither had asked for their opinions, but it was obvious from the information he and Sue Ellen had pieced together from talking to and observing them at Sunday lunch and then just generally. Although it seemed silly, because in a way, it could count as interfering, he knew it was best to just say it and make their feelings clear; he and Sue Ellen needed to specify that they didn't wish to be the cause of any family disagreements and they were specifically making choices to ensure that they weren't. Once it was all said and done and everything was cleared up, he hoped things would return to normal and he and Sue Ellen would once again be able to resume the less serious, more carefree side of their relationship. He had highly enjoyed their evening together yesterday and their marriage as it had been recently and he was definitely ready to return to that way of life. The sooner they could get past the current drama in their lives, the better.

"Ok", listening as JR responded with just one word, Sue Ellen wasn't sure what to think. It wasn't like him to have nothing more to say, but somehow, even though he'd barely said anything, she understood what he meant. They had had a more detailed discussion earlier, but it had been less about coming to a mutual agreement and more about explaining their individual perspectives on the situation. Hearing his tone of voice now though, she found herself more physically and mentally relaxed than she had been earlier; he understood her perspective and was agreeing to respect her wishes, hopefully because he knew they were what was best for their family, their marriage and their relationship with his parents in the long run. It was clear to her now that their marriage was definitely different now than it had been in its early days, and for that, she was infinitely grateful, because although she hadn't necessarily been miserable just agreeing with him, it was a little stifling to never really have her own voice. It had taken a lot of hard work, because finding her own identity was hard when she had always been under someone else's control and had always been attempting to please everyone, but things were wonderful now; she finally felt like she had a voice and her voice was being heard. It was nice to be able to have an honest discussion with JR, to listen to his perspective and then voice hers, without fearing he would be upset or disappointed in her because she wasn't blindly following him.

She knew as well as JR did that a conversation with Jock and Miss Ellie would have to take place, but she didn't have nearly as much apprehension about it as she would've a few years ago, because she knew she had JR on her side and she knew their point wasn't too much to ask. It was perfectly reasonable to reassure her in-laws that she and JR were strong, independent adults who didn't need babying and didn't need other people to take their issues upon themselves and it was perfectly reasonable to reiterate that for the moment, they wished to make their own decisions about what they did with their own property. There was no need to be disrespectful or even dramatic about it; it was what it was and they would say it, then they would move on and hopefully Jock and Miss Ellie would too. She was ready to return to not worrying so much about the state of the Ewing family and instead take some time to actually enjoy the family she and JR had together with John Ross. She was ready for them to start their new lives in their new home, without the rest of the family somehow involved in every decision they made or proposed making.

To be continued…


	427. No

**Dallas, Texas**

"…so you see, we don't want to cause problems in this family, but even without saying yes to anything, it feels like problems are already brewing because of this situation. For now, Sue Ellen and I aren't interested in living on a working ranch, but maybe in the future, once we're settled and know exactly which parts of our land we do and don't use in our everyday lives, maybe then we'll consider it. We're not making any promises though, it's a firm 'never say never', but for now it's a no and will stay a no for the foreseeable future, until a point where Sue Ellen and I decide otherwise. What we really want to emphasise now though is that just because we're saying no to this proposal doesn't mean we're rejecting the Ewing family or anything like that. It's purely a personal decision that Sue Ellen and I have to make for ourselves and when and where we make that decision is our business and our business only. There's no need for either of you to take such a personal interest in what we choose to do with our own personal and joint assets and there's certainly no need for this to cause an argument like I've been told it did…" Standing in the living room explaining his and Sue Ellen's decision and perspective, JR was then interrupted by Sue Ellen herself.

"We love you both very much and it's upsetting for us to see you so upset with each other over something that doesn't need to be upsetting. Please believe us when we say that; this really isn't a personal attack or rejection, it's just us standing tall in our joint position. JR and I are adults and we don't deny that it has taken us a little while to actually settle into living like mature individuals and a mature couple, but I truly believe we're ready to do so now and we're ready to make our own decisions. If we want or need advice, then we'll ask for it, and I'm sure there will be a lot of things we do need to ask for advice about, because we're still young and inexperienced and you are older and wiser, but just in general, we'd like a little space to make our own decisions, and possibly mistakes. Just as you are married to each other and have your own lives, JR and I are married and wish to also have our own lives. We hate seeing our issues affecting other people so greatly, especially when it's two people we care do deeply about". Clasping JR's hand tightly as she spoke, Sue Ellen then waited for a response, any response, from her in-laws.

Torn between pride and devastation, but eventually settling on feeling proud, Miss Ellie nodded as her son and daughter-in-law spoke. In a strange way, she had achieved what she wanted, because both JR and Sue Ellen were agreeing with her side in the argument she and Jock had been having. She deeply regretted that her even having an opinion had caused them so much trouble though, because that hadn't been her intention at all. All she had wanted to do was prevent Jock from railroading JR into a deal he didn't actually wish to be a part of, simply because he felt some familial obligation to do so. It appeared that her worries had been valid, but also a little overblown, because despite JR and Sue Ellen not completely shutting down the idea, they had politely declined and stood their ground when it came to wanting their independence. Walking toward Sue Ellen, she gave her a hug and whispered a few apologetic and thankful words in her ear, before then turning her attention to JR and doing the same, though with JR, everything was just a little bit more stiff and formal. Looking over at her husband, she waited for him to show some similar gesture of understanding, though from his facial expression, she didn't anticipate one to be quite as forthcoming as hers had been. Jock didn't like to lose, and even though JR and Sue Ellen had valid, logical reasons for turning down his proposal, she had a strong feeling he'd bypass the logical and head straight for the illogical, assuming that despite being told it wasn't a personal attack, that's exactly what it was.

"Boy, are you really turning down a good business deal you haven't even examined yet? You said you would consult with your wife about it, but you never said you would be making any final decisions just yet, especially not about the whole deal. Come with me, we'll go and look at the files together, I'm sure once you look at the numbers, you'll reconsider it". Directing his attention solely at JR when it came to talking about looking at the files and discussing numbers, Jock waited for a moment for JR to follow him. Surely once they got away from the overly emotional women, had a drink and sat down to discuss hard facts and negotiate a mutually beneficial deal, everything would run more smoothly.

Unfortunately, he underestimated Sue Ellen's hold on her husband and JR's perspective on the situation as a whole. They didn't need the money ranching would provide them, but they did desire the independence living on their own property would bring them, and they were in some kind of 'modern' marriage where equality of the sexes was emphasised, so for JR and Sue Ellen, the decision was easy.

Seeing JR whispering something in Sue Ellen's ear and then kissing her on the cheek, Jock knew he had lost, even if JR was doing as he said. The meeting would be to humour him, nothing more; he knew it, he didn't know how he knew it, but he did. If Southfork ranch was going to expand anytime in the near future, it would be because the business purchased more land for itself, not because he and JR were about to settle on a deal.

"Let me speak to daddy alone. He's a traditionalist, he understands things better man-to-man, I'm sorry if that's upsetting, but that's how it is. I'll be back in half an hour, then we can resume our relationship where we left off before we walked into this mess this morning", whispering in Sue Ellen's ear and then kissing her on the cheek, JR was pleased when she looked up at him, kissed him on the cheek too and then leaned toward his ear to respond. "You say traditionalist, I say male chauvinist. I don't like it, but I can live with it. I need to speak to your mama about Lucy anyway. You go ahead and I'll see you in half an hour, because I would love to resume what we had to put on pause this morning". Sneaking in a small jibe about her father-in-law's irritating attitude, Sue Ellen quickly switched her own attitude, speaking the end of her sentence in a more sultry tone than she had started with, letting JR know that she wasn't upset with him in the slightest. She then turned her attention to her father-in-law and switching over to a more serious, formal tone, she acknowledged him, "Jock", before nodding and waiting for he and JR to leave the room.

Impressed by her daughter-in-law's tact and composure, Miss Ellie was about to apologise again for causing so much upset, before she was silenced by Sue Ellen's concerned look. "I meant what I said earlier Miss Ellie, I promise, JR and I completely respect you and Jock, but we need to make our own decisions, even if some of them are mistakes. We don't want to cause any problems between you and Jock either; I really hope you understand that, because I truly value our relationship". Hearing the sincerity in Sue Ellen's voice, Miss Ellie responded again in an accepting and apologetic manner. Things had been blown way out of proportion and if JR and Sue Ellen were ready to move on, she had no problem with that.

As they walked out of the living room and upstairs to check on John Ross, Sue Ellen decided the present was as good a time as any to approach her other concern. "Miss Ellie?" speaking her mother-in-law's name to get her attention again, she continued to speak, "there was one more thing I wanted to talk to you about. It's about Lucy…"

To be continued…


	428. Moving Forward

**Dallas, Texas**

"I'll be right here waiting for you when you come out", reassuring her young niece that everything would be fine, Sue Ellen then motioned for her to follow the middle-aged woman into her office. Jock hadn't been too happy to hear the news that yet another member of the Ewing family was going to be telling a therapist all about their dysfunctional family, however, his objections were quickly silenced. When faced with two options, one: to personally put a lot of effort into dissecting and assisting his granddaughter to move past her insecurities, or, two: to allow a professional to do so, the decision had been easy. It had been made clear to him by JR, Sue Ellen and his wife that ignoring the issue and doing nothing was not an option; Lucy clearly had concerns and insecurities that couldn't just be ignored, it wasn't responsible or kind to do so now they were aware of them; they had to and would do something to help. Lucy herself had been surprisingly calm when Sue Ellen had suggested speaking to a professional, and Sue Ellen was sure that part of that was because everyone was aware of her personal development and the improvement in her and JR's marriage since seeing Doctor Williams. She was setting a positive example in her own life and she had suggested the idea in a kind, friendly and relatable way, not a manner that was judgemental, mean or scary. As long as Doctor Lacey, the child psychologist Doctor Williams had recommended was as good as he'd said, and as long as Lucy was as willing to speak and open up to her as she had been with Sue Ellen, then Sue Ellen had no doubt things could improve and Lucy would one day again feel strong, loved and secure.

Back at Southfork, Miss Ellie was in full preparation mode. With all the chaos of the past few days, she had almost forgotten about the upcoming Ewing Christmas party, however, once reminded of it by Teresa, she had had no problem falling straight back into the role of party planner. Jock was still sulking about 'losing' a business deal and having everyone disagree with him, and Lucy was still a little shaken by what in her mind had seemed like a reality check about her vulnerable position in the Ewing family, but in general, things seemed to be returning to normal. There was sure to be some kind of drama or chaos soon enough, that was life; for now though, everything seemed to be steadying and calming down.

After confirming the final catering order and looking through the bags of decorations Teresa had purchased earlier in the week, Miss Ellie looked at her watch and decided to head upstairs to check on John Ross. At present, Bobby was probably on the Ewing jet, returning from his most recent business trip to Houston; JR and Jock would be extremely busy at the office right now as they tried to get everything in order for the shutdown period over Christmas and New Year. Lucy had finished school the previous Friday and was now with Sue Ellen at her first appointment with a child psychologist that could hopefully address and help her to move past some of her personal issues. As she reached the top of the stairs and her thoughts about her family's present actions turned toward John Ross, she smiled to herself as the thoughts forming in her mind were confirmed by the sounds coming from his nursery. Hearing him happily babbling to himself, her heart jumped as his babbles turned from casual into excited when she opened the door; he was pleased to see her, he loved her, and that was all she really wanted.

Across town, JR sat in his office, frantically checking and rechecking his paperwork. The Ewing Oil offices would be closed for ten days between Christmas and New Year and he and his father had to be ahead in all of the administrative work so that when they returned, they weren't bombarded with a pile of things that needed attention. They also had to have plans in place for anything that could possibly go wrong at their various oil fields; the office may be closed over the holidays, but their fields remained open, and they had to be prepared for any issues that could come up. With Bobby out of the way for now, he was more relaxed than he had been in previous years; however, with things still somewhat tense between him and his father, he wasn't entirely relaxed. In this case, his father was being ridiculous, it almost seemed as though he was more upset that he had taken Sue Ellen's opinion into consideration and come back with a firm 'no' than he did about the actual 'no'. For some reason, his opinion about his own marriage and his wife's reluctance to support him and general opposition to his proposal, had affected how he saw Sue Ellen and JR's relationship. He didn't really have a problem with the way JR and Sue Ellen's marriage was, because even as sexist as he was, he believed in being respectful of women, and in the past, JR hadn't been very respectful. He did however take issue with JR putting Sue Ellen's emotional plea on a higher level of importance than the potential business profits; that annoyed him and as a result, he had been acting a little more coldly toward JR than he ordinarily would have. JR was sick of allowing his father to control him though, so instead of caving and agreeing to allow Southfork ranch to lease his and Sue Ellen's land, he had chosen to simply ignore the situation for now. If his father mentioned it, he reiterated his earlier response of 'never say never, but for now, no', but if he didn't mention it, then neither did JR. He was sure his father would eventually get over it, even if it took him a while, so for now, he was content to just accept the slightly distant relationship being offered to him.

To be continued…


	429. All I Want for Christmas Is You

**Dallas, Texas**

Holding on to John Ross as he excitedly observed and was introduced to the guests arriving for the Ewing Christmas party, Sue Ellen never tired of hearing compliments directed toward him and took great pleasure in seeing how alert and fascinated he was by the new situation unfolding in front of him. The last large event he had been a part of was the Ewing barbecue; that had played out much like the Christmas party was currently, however, he had also been younger and less alert back then, so she hadn't been so sure it would be quite as easy this time. Fortunately, he was taking to being a party host like a duck to water. He probably didn't really understand what was going on, but already during his short life, he'd observed and been around enough people to know that when ladies leaned down to pat his head, stroke his cheek or give him a kiss, a smile or giggle in return was always appreciated and always seemed to make his parents happy.

Shaking hands with what seemed like and in truth, probably were, hundreds of people, Sue Ellen was selfishly glad to have John Ross to distract people from politely, or nosily, asking about how she was and how her year had been. Truthfully, her year had been up and down more times than she wished to remember and even though she honestly meant it now when she told people she was very happy and hoped they were too, the question itself still brought back a few memories she would rather forget. Luckily, with John Ross in her arms and JR by her side, no one seemed to care too much about her personally; she would happily take a compliment about how cute and/or well-behaved John Ross was, politely compliment and enquire about their guest's life, and then pass the conversation on to JR to continue. The further away from the present her Miss Texas days became, the less accepting she was of large crowds and insincere interactions; she liked her small family life and she wouldn't apologise for feeling that way. Of course, that didn't mean she would be impolite or antisocial, because she wouldn't, she knew what being a Ewing meant and she was happy to perform her familial and social duties, but in situations where she could quietly slip into the background, she had no problem doing so.

Half an hour later, after meeting and greeting with every guest who had walked through the front door, and then doing a round of mixing and mingling as everyone enjoyed themselves, Sue Ellen slipped upstairs quietly. The large crowd of new faces had excited John Ross, however, it was now nearing his usual bedtime and even the excitement of the party downstairs wasn't enough to keep him awake. She wasn't disappointed by the situation though, he was just a baby, he needed his sleep and honestly, as time grew later, the party would only get livelier; a party of that sort was not the place for a child, so putting him to bed now was the best idea for everyone.

Downstairs, trapped in a conversation with Wade Luce's wife, JR looked around the room for his own wife. He could deal with inane female chatter when it came from a member of his own family, but to hear it from someone he had no connection to except for occasionally doing business with her husband, was just too much. Seeing Bobby walking past with his date, JR then called out to him; Bobby wouldn't be too pleased, but his female companion would probably be thankful for the opportunity to speak to another woman and not have to stand by while Bobby nodded and added a few comments about business or football to whatever conversation he was in. Unfortunately, all didn't quite go as planned, because as he gently extricated himself from the conversation he had been a part of, he turned around and immediately came face to face with his mother-in-law.

Patricia and Kristin Shepard had only arrived at Southfork earlier in the day, but already he was sick of their presence. Sue Ellen seemed to be on better terms with her mother now, though JR still found her particularly trying at times. Kristin wasn't too bad either, however, JR sensed that she was heading toward turning into a bit of a show-off when it came to her personal achievements. For him personally though, it really just came down to the way Sue Ellen acted when her family were around. She was more edgy and particular about things when she knew she was being observed closely, and in situations where he just wanted to relax and have fun with her, like tonight, after she put John Ross down for the night, he knew it would take more effort to get her to just act 'normally'. For the first time in a long time, he and Sue Ellen were in a consistently good relationship and he wanted to make the most of that achievement, but he knew it would take a little more effort than usual this evening to get her to relax and let herself enjoy being with him. He was willing to put in his own extra effort though, because he loved her and he wanted her.

"Patricia", nodding at his mother-in-law, JR looked around the room again, willing Sue Ellen or even just any random person, to appear and interrupt the beginning of his conversation with Patricia. They really had nothing in common except for both enjoying control and power and both being connected to each other as family via Sue Ellen, so he knew how to and would always be polite to her, so long as she was to him too, but he didn't really actually want to speak to her. "JR", responding in an overly enthusiastic tone that was almost definitely false, Patricia looked at him before launching into what was definitely a speech intended for anyone listening in on their conversation rather than for JR himself. Patricia had already commented on the decorations, catering and impressive guest list earlier when just the family were present, so to do so again now was completely redundant. Tuning out about halfway through, as he caught sight of his wife coming downstairs, JR then made a few agreeable comments, thanked Patricia for her compliments and then redirected her toward a conversation some of the DOA ladies were having. She would be in good company with the gossipy women of the DOA if Sue Ellen's stories were even partially true, so he didn't feel too bad about leaving her.

Quickly making his way across the room, JR purposely avoided stopping to say hello to various guests in his path; he had done enough business networking for the evening and now he was a man on a mission and nothing was going to get in his way. "Dance with me darlin'", reaching his wife and taking hold of her hand, he guided her toward the dance floor and was pleased when she followed him without question, participating in an equally engaged manner as they began to dance. She wanted to be there with him just as much as he wanted to be there with her, and that made him incredibly happy. He had spent years hopping from woman to woman, temporarily satisfying his desires, but finally, after years of that behaviour, things were different, and he had absolutely no regrets. He loved his wife, he loved their life together and he was completely satisfied with the way their future looked.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: No chapter tomorrow and possibly no chapter the next day either. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	430. Mistletoe Not Required

**Dallas, Texas**

After several trips up and down the stairs, the large, ornately decorated Christmas tree in the corner of the living room now truly looked ready for Christmas Day. With nine members of the Ewing and Shepard families present for the holiday celebration, and the extravagant way in which they liked to show each other they loved each other, the Christmas tree was now home to a large number of festive, gift-wrapped boxes. Watching Kristin and Lucy out of the corner of her eye, Sue Ellen laughed softly; no matter how hard they tried to make it look like they weren't, it was quite obvious to her that they were trying their hardest to guess what was inside each box. Looking around the room, it appeared the only other adult that had noticed was Bobby, and after making eye contact with him, Sue Ellen's opinion about what to do about the situation remained unchanged. Neither she nor Bobby thought anything more of it than being a juvenile, harmless activity, so neither of them would say anything.

A couple of hours later, after sending a reluctant Kristin and Lucy up to bed, the group of family members present began to lessen even more when Patricia, Jock and Miss Ellie all said their goodbyes and excused themselves upstairs for the night. Enjoying a final drink with his brother and sister-in-law, Bobby knew when he was no longer needed or wanted, and after quietly excusing himself and then looking back into the living room as he was heading upstairs, he knew his intuition was correct and he had made the right decision. He didn't always like JR, and he was still a little hurt that he and Sue Ellen had purchased Jenna's old home without even mentioning their plans to him, however, the majority of the issues he'd had with JR were in the past, and as long as he didn't purposely rib him, he didn't really have a problem with him. His opinion of JR had taken a positive turn lately too, because after all the drama of the past year, where JR had definitely deserved the stress and punishment he'd experienced, things did seem to be changing and they did seem to be genuinely different now. If he and Sue Ellen were finally happy and actually making things work in all areas of their relationship, then he was happy too, because Sue Ellen deserved a husband who loved her as much as she did him, and treated her as well as she did him. He didn't really want to see or hear reminders of just how in love they were, but when compared to the tears and tension of the past, he couldn't really complain either. Leaving them to 'talk' alone wasn't that difficult and did ultimately benefit everyone, so that's exactly what he did.

Slightly tipsy after the Christmas Eve festivities, Sue Ellen felt extremely relaxed as the evening wore on. Hypnotised by the flames dancing in the fireplace, the casual conversation and the feeling of physical and emotional closeness with JR, her happy feeling only grew as the group grew smaller and eventually dwindled to just two, her and JR. Allowing her mind to drift as she caught sight of the way her engagement ring sparkled in the warm light from the fireplace, she then sighed happily to herself. She always wore three rings, her engagement ring, wedding band and the interlocking ring JR had given her for their anniversary, just before John Ross' birth; they all had special significance to her, but right now she was focused on her engagement ring. For some reason, in the moment, she didn't feel like she was twenty-five, married and a mother, she felt like the young, innocent twenty year old she had been when she and JR had first met; the young woman she had been during their first holiday season together. During the first few years of their relationship, they had really been in a honeymoon period; they had had difficulties, miscommunications, disagreements and she was now aware he probably hadn't been entirely faithful to her like she had to him, however for the most part, they were extremely happy together. It hadn't taken her long to fall in love with him and she hoped he had truly meant it every time he'd said those words back to her too, but even if he hadn't, she didn't really want to know now; she was happy now and she really believed JR was too. The past was in the past and the present and future looked and felt amazing.

Having observed his wife and their surroundings throughout the evening, JR was now keenly aware they were completely alone; that wasn't something that happened at Southfork very often and he intended to take advantage of it. For whatever reason, he too felt much younger than he actually was, though there was a huge difference between his true younger self and his self now; Sue Ellen was the woman of his fantasies, all of them, and was the woman he truly wanted in his reality too. Things weren't too serious though, he was just thinking and considering, but the atmosphere in the room hadn't changed one bit. He and Sue Ellen had been subtly flirting all evening and he was sure it had probably increased a little once their parents had retired for the evening, and then even more once Bobby had politely excused himself from the room; right now, they were silent, but it was a comfortable silence, not an awkward silence. Grinning to himself, he suddenly knew why he felt younger than he was; for whatever reason, neither he nor Sue Ellen had made a move to take things to the next level yet, just like when they were dating and for ridiculous social politeness reasons, they had often evaded openly acknowledging things before physically acting on their feelings. What made him grin now though was that even though they hadn't 'had to' do anything they'd done in the past, now they really didn't have to behave that way. Of course they both had to want to engage in any mutual activity before they actually did it, but no longer did they have to supress their urges or act as if something they both wanted was dirty, wrong or something they should feel guilty about. He could be a gentleman when the situation called for it, but he could also forget the societal requirements of that title every once in a while. To go with that, Sue Ellen was and would always be a lady, but that didn't mean she had to act within a tight set of rules and behaviours. Acting without inhibitions and having fun was allowed and he was so glad, especially because in the moment they were in right now, there was absolutely nothing weird or unacceptable about what he planned to do next; not that his actions were anything strange or risqué anyway, but it made him especially happy to know how good their relationship was.

Turning her conscious attention back to her husband, Sue Ellen opened her mouth to speak, but before she had the chance to voice any of her thoughts, she found herself occupied by something much more interesting. She wasn't sure whether JR had been having similar thoughts to her own, or her own thoughts were influencing the way she was interpreting his actions, but the slow, passionate kiss they were locked in only added to her feeling of being young. It reminded her so much of the way she had felt during the early years of their relationship, when they did spend a lot of time kissing and touching, but not going any further. This was better though, because just like she had felt on their wedding night and during their honeymoon, it was ok for their actions to develop into more, and if they didn't, that was ok too. As she became more involved in their kiss, her thoughts attempting to analyse everything soon disappeared, because not only was it hard to concentrate on anything else, it was also absolutely pointless; she and JR were happy now and that was all that mattered.

To be continued…


	431. Christmas Day

**Dallas, Texas**

After exchanging gifts, drinking, relaxing around the fireplace, drinking, eating their Christmas lunch and then drinking some more, the only members of the Ewing or Shepard family that had any real energy by the time the late afternoon arrived, were the children. While it was true that Lucy and Kristin weren't the best of friends, when it came to socialising with each other or sitting down and quietly listening to the adults discussing boring current events and business, the decision was easy. Additionally, Kristin found it a novelty to be around John Ross, and Lucy had formed a special bond with her young cousin, so neither of them had a problem with spending time with him, especially since as he grew older, he became more alert and interested in interacting with people and his toys. They had all received their own special gifts and would all enjoy their gifts separately over the coming days, weeks and months, however, for the afternoon, the interest and excitement generated from looking at and exploring all of their new items was enough to keep them all happy.

From across the room, Sue Ellen split her attention between listening to the conversation JR, Bobby and Jock were having, maintaining a conversation with her mother and Miss Ellie, keeping an eye on her son, sister and niece and enjoying how physically and emotionally close she and JR were. Things had been a little rough over the past week, not between her and JR specifically, but for them as a couple when it came to dealing with Jock. She saw no point in explaining further or being rude about their decision; they had made their feelings quite clear and now it was up to him to accept it and move on from whatever he was sure was in their future, however, just because it was that way, didn't necessarily mean things automatically changed. She was adamant they had dealt with that situation though; it wasn't going to come back to them any time soon; Jock was just being stubborn, he didn't like being told no, so he would sulk, but when it came down to it, he knew what was what and that he had lost.

Even though the past week or so had been a little rough, it hadn't been all bad and overall, she was feeling positive. Her mother and Kristin had arrived a couple of days ago and although they weren't her favourite people to deal with, their visit really hadn't been too bad so far. Her mother was still picky and opinionated, however, for the first time in a long time, she was also somewhat tolerable to be around, at least in small doses. Sue Ellen didn't really know what had caused her mother to act so sanely, but she liked to think the discussions they had had during her two most recent visits had caused her to think and reflect on the way she was and had caused her to want to try to be different.

Kristin was the same; things were a lot better now she was away at boarding school for the majority of the year. She had positive role models and her schedule was full of academic, extracurricular and social activities, so for the most past, she was too busy and too exhausted most of the time to get into trouble or develop a nasty, whiny side. There was a small downside to her new life of controlled freedom, privilege and encouragement; she knew when she was good at something and she had the resources to exploit her natural talent; so when she returned home with a long list of accomplishments and skills, she was only too keen to tell anyone who would listen. Sue Ellen knew her younger sister's boasting wasn't something JR enjoyed, he just wasn't that interested or interested in pretending he was interested, however, for her, she was interested and happy her sister was latching onto things that were productive and would be good for her personal development. Being a model, a pageant queen and marrying a wealthy man had worked out well for Sue Ellen in the end, but she also knew she didn't want her sister to be stuck waiting for the same thing to happen to her. Additionally, she didn't want Kristin to experience the pain, passiveness and self-doubt she had when she was a child, teenager and young woman, because no matter how well it had turned out in the end, she knew she was and would always be somewhat emotionally damaged by her previous experiences. Kristin deserved more; she deserved the chance to skip straight to being her own person, without having to break free from the control of those around her. There were a number of reasons why Sue Ellen was supportive of her sister and more than happy to hear her stories, but the main reason was because she truly wanted to see her happy and unburdened.

As well as things not being so bad with her mother and sister, things weren't at all bad between her and JR either, in fact, they were quite wonderful. It had taken them a long time to get to the point they were at, but they finally seemed to be there and she really believe things were actually going to work out this time. While it was true she hadn't exactly tested JR's loyalty recently, so she could never be entirely sure he would never betray her again, she did have faith and believe things had changed, that he had matured, had seen the error of his ways and the consequences of his actions and had made a decision to be a better man. Additionally, she had also changed a little; she wasn't the same naïve girl she had been when she'd married him, and as much fun as the previous evening had been, where they had enjoyed reliving some of the more innocent days of their relationship, she was glad things were different now that they had both grown and matured.

Attuned to her son's needs and behavioural cues, her thoughts quickly changed as she observed the way his interaction with Lucy and Kristin changed. From his apparent disinterest and almost annoyance with the toys they were offering him, and from looking at her watch, she knew it wouldn't be long before his slight grumbly mood turned into fussing, then whimpering and if she left him long enough, a full meltdown. Leaning over to whisper in JR's ear where she was going, she then walked over to her son, scooped him up off the floor and carried him upstairs, away from the busyness of the living room and toward the quiet and calmness of his nursery. He wasn't hungry, he'd eaten not long ago, he was just tied, nearing being overstimulated and in need of a break.

Watching Sue Ellen heading upstairs with John Ross, JR had two thoughts, two thoughts that simultaneously conflicted and fit together perfectly. The first was that despite all the worrying she had done prior to and during her pregnancy, she was a wonderful mother and she had nothing to worry about when it came to John Ross knowing he was loved and wanted. The second thought was that they would definitely be having themselves a merry little Christmas later when they were alone, because even dressed in her family-gathering-appropriate black dress and pearls, her long legs and lithe body were on full display. Emotional attraction and understanding was important in a relationship, there was no denying that, but in times where they didn't completely agree on something, or even just generally, his commitment to her was definitely strengthened by the fact that he was so physically attracted to her. He knew she worried about old age and keeping his attention forever, but he didn't see it as an issue she needed to be concerned about anymore. Their relationship was more than physical attraction and even if they only looked at the physical side of it, he had no doubt the things she had been so upset about wouldn't actually be issues for decades, so for now, it was absolutely nothing to worry about. He liked to plan for the future, he was a smart businessman, but at the same time, in his personal life, he was slowly learning to focus on the present and immediate future and not allow non-issues to have so much influence. The present was good and the future looked good too; it was time for him and Sue Ellen to enjoy their life together.

To be continued…


	432. Planning for the Future

**Dallas, Texas**

"…are you sure?" pausing before putting pen to paper, JR looked at his wife to gauge just how she was feeling; he wasn't opposed to her wish, he just wanted to make sure she was saying what she was saying because it was what she wanted, not what she thought she was expected to do.

He wanted to ensure 1973 was better and more consistent than their previous years together, so he had taken a page from Doctor Williams' book and suggested they make a list of goals and resolutions and then form some kind of plan for how they would make those things happen. Ending the year on a positive note, with a positive plan for the future and a positive attitude, was just about all they could do now to ensure some sort of success. They were still seeing Doctor Williams, but not in the same manner they had been previously; they had overcome the major issues in their relationship and now it was time to work on maintaining the good and being aware of and addressing small things when they were small, rather than ignoring or not noticing issues until it was too late. So far, everything appeared to be going well; making a list had prompted them to have conversations they hadn't even thought about having before now, and while they still had a few things to discuss about some of each of their suggestions, for the most part, they were combatting possible problems before they became a serious concern.

"Yes, I'm sure; I want to get involved again. I don't mean I want a full time job or anything even remotely close to that, I just want something to commit to, something that I know will benefit others and make me feel good about myself. I want to feel useful again. That's not to say my life with you and John Ross isn't fulfilling or wonderful, I just want something more. Doing some charity work a few hours a week will be good for everyone; I need time to work on my own pursuits, the women the charity help are truly in need, and your mama and John Ross are attached to each other now, so I think a little quality time together will definitely be appreciated. Miss Ellie pretends to be strong and accepting, but I have no doubt she's not entirely confident or happy about the looming changes; she's not your daddy, so she's not going to try and force us to stay here, but she would definitely be thrilled if we decided we're no longer interested in moving".

Knowing JR understood how her feelings regarding the DOA had changed, Sue Ellen hoped he also understood why she felt the way she did about her own personal charity work. She enjoyed assisting women to dress the part for the working world so that they could better themselves by getting professional jobs, allowing them to earn their own money and be self-sufficient. She loved being able to use her fashion-oriented mind to sort clothes and coordinate outfits and she loved seeing and hearing the positive feedback from the women she was helping. It was nice to be involved in something that wasn't just rewarding for her, but for those she was assisting; it made her feel good to know she was using her privilege and personal skills for a greater good, rather than just her own good. Additionally, it was nice to have something for herself, something she didn't have to share or be judged on; the DOA was as much a social organization for wealthy women as it was a charity organization designed to ease the inequality and injustice in society. It was nice to have something she was doing on her own, something that was not associated with her reputation, the Ewing family's reputation or anything else.

Nodding as she made her points, JR couldn't disagree with her; she had every right to do something for herself and as she had proved last year when she had been working for the women's charity, it did make her happy to do something productive. As well as that, she was right about his mother; she probably was taking things a lot harder than she let on. They were leaving, only moving a few miles down the street, but still leaving, and they were taking John Ross with them; she was definitely somewhat upset, she loved all of them and this probably felt like a loss. With that in mind, although he didn't want to think of or use John Ross as a pawn in some stupid game, he didn't see any harm in offering his mother a few hours a week where she could exclusively care for her grandson. Sue Ellen was right, her charity work didn't interfere with their lives in any extreme way and it would be nice and of benefit to everyone for her to do it. "Ok, fair point. As long as you promise to be honest with yourself, with me and with the people you're working with; don't feel you have to commit to something you don't want to do or don't have time to do". Agreeing with her point and staying brief with his comments because he didn't want to look like he was trying to take control of her decision, he then wrote it down on the notepad in front of him.

Reading over the list of things they had discussed so far, he grinned to himself; Sue Ellen was taking full advantage of his offer to plan their year, and even though he was somewhat of a workaholic, he couldn't help but be excited for the family vacation and various couples weekends she'd suggested. Getting away from Southfork was a good idea, but from prior experience, getting away from Dallas entirely was an even better idea. On a different note, he was also excited for what the next year at Ewing Oil held for him; he was more relaxed now that he was legally guaranteed future presidency and ownership of the company, and now that Bobby was splitting his time doing out-of-town PR work and ranching. Of course, it would be hard work to learn everything he needed to know before his father retired in a few years, and it would be a challenge to maintain a good work-life balance, but he wasn't afraid of hard work and he didn't lack determination. 1973 was still two days away, but he had a feeling it would be a good year.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: There will be no chapter for this story tomorrow, however, I will be posting a separate completed short story; I would love if everyone would check it out :) ****Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	433. Off to a Good Start

**Dallas, Texas**

"It's amazing that they've all grown and developed so much in just two weeks", sitting on the floor watching their children interacting with each other and playing with the toys spread out on the rug, Sue Ellen listened and nodded as Marie spoke. It was true; the break they had taken over the holiday period did seem to have been a period of growth for each of the children in the group, and for Sue Ellen, it was both exciting and reassuring. Life at Southfork, raising the Ewing heir, meant she was never short of compliments about John Ross and his abilities, and with JR and Miss Ellie around, she felt confident about her own abilities too. The playgroup really solidified all of her thoughts though, because seeing John Ross around other children allowed her to compare him and his progress and even though he was clearly not miles ahead of the other children like Jock and occasionally JR would make comments inferring or declaring, he was definitely on par with them; he was happy and normal.

Additionally, being able to share her experiences and hear the experiences of other women in the same stage of motherhood as her was enjoyable, helpful and reassuring. Her life was easy compared to some women, but at the same time, the basic events and feelings they were all experiencing were similar and it was nice to know she was not alone. Some of her thoughts probably weren't things Doctor Williams would encourage, because he had always emphasised that it was unhealthy for her to be so concerned about how others perceived her, it was unhealthy for her to critically compare herself to others, and it was unhealthy for her to rely on other people to validate her and make her happy. This was different though, or she told herself it was. She didn't attend the mother and baby playgroup for selfish or needy reasons, she attended because it was good for her and John Ross to be around other people; being a part of the Ewing family was wonderful, but it wasn't the be-all and end-all of life and there was no reason why they should isolate themselves. Being a part of a group of women and children who were in a similar phase of life was a good thing, it put things in perspective and provided a much needed sense of normalcy. They were privileged, but on a less societal and more human level, they were just mother and baby, just regular people.

Watching John Ross as he slowly shuffled his body toward one of the brightly coloured toys that were laying on the rug, just out of his reach, Sue Ellen also observed Marie's daughter Rebecca as she did something similar. It was clear that John Ross was nearer to crawling properly than Rebecca was, but from her earlier observations, she had a feeling Rebecca was further along in her verbal development than John Ross was. Neither baby was smarter or overall more developed than the other was, they were just different and it was nice to be able to compare, but not feel or appear to be cocky or overconfident about John Ross' development and her teaching abilities. John Ross was happy, healthy and from what she could tell from her observations of the other seven children in the room, he was developing at a completely normal rate.

Considering Marie's comment, Sue Ellen then responded, "yes it is; I can't believe how much can happen in such a short space of time". Pausing for a moment as she watched and noted just how mobile John Ross was becoming, she then continued to speak, "John Ross is definitely his daddy's son, but I think he's also inherited some of his uncle's traits. He doesn't like it when he feels he's missing out on all the fun, which in this case is free movement apparently. My mama and sister came to stay with us during the holidays and John Ross seemed thrilled to have a house full of people paying attention to him, especially my sister and niece. They're good girls, but they're not particularly interested in just sitting still. It was Christmas Day when he first started to really make an effort to not just reach out for the toys he wants, but also work on moving his entire body toward those things. I think my niece and sister definitely had something to do with that, he probably got sick of watching them moving around the room going from gift to gift. Whatever it was, it triggered something inside him, because although he hasn't mastered it entirely just yet, he hasn't stopped making an effort to move himself toward the things he wants rather than waiting for someone else to give them to him. Back when he started rolling over, my mother-in-law said it wouldn't be long before he was completely mobile and I'd be the one chasing him; I have a feeling that she wasn't wrong. He's not there just yet, but it's coming…" Pausing as she finished speaking, she then had a moment of self-consciousness, wondering whether her response had been too detailed for the conversation she and Marie had been having prior to her speaking. Unsure, but not willing to put herself down, especially over something so miniscule, she then moved on and did the polite thing in any situation, she enquired about Marie's view on the topic, "what about Rebecca? From what I can tell, she'll be talking up a storm soon enough".

Half an hour later, after their class singalong, story time and then free playtime was over, Sue Ellen packed up her and John Ross' things and said goodbye to the other women and babies. Usually, she would accept the invitation from Kathy to go for coffee after the weekly meeting, however, today was different. Although JR was busy with getting back into the swing of things at the office, he wasn't so busy that he couldn't spare an hour for lunch, especially lunch with his wife and son, so that's exactly what they were going to do. There were a few nice, family friendly restaurants near the Ewing Oil building, and it was only twenty minutes or so for Sue Ellen to get downtown from where she was and around thirty minutes back to Southfork, so once they were all there together, there was little stress about being too far from where they had to return to. It was nice to spend some time alone together as a family of three outside of the obligatory Ewing family get-togethers, so if it was doable within JR's schedule, Sue Ellen was keen to make it happen, and so far, her plans were working out nicely. Everything would be even better in just a few short weeks, once they truly had their own lives, separate from the rest of the Ewing family; for now though, she really didn't have any complaints, she was happy and she believed JR and John Ross were too.

To be continued…


	434. Premature Worry?

**Dallas, Texas**

Walking downstairs with John Ross in her arms and JR by her side, Sue Ellen winced at the sound of Jock's grumbling in the dining room; he didn't sound happy and that didn't bode well for JR's day or his mood when he returned from work. Glancing over at her husband, she knew he was having similar thoughts to her; he loved and respected his father as a man and as his superior at Ewing Oil, but that didn't necessarily mean he always enjoyed being around him, especially in moments where love, fairness and kindness were the last things on his mind. Giving him a sympathetic look, because with John Ross in her arms, her movement was limited, she was relieved when he gave her a small, reassuring smile and then put his arm around her waist; they couldn't control other people or events, but they could stay strong and connected with each other.

Taking a sip of his coffee and listening to his father's commentary on the stock market and international news, Bobby's mind began to wander. Would he seem like a coward or traitor to exit the oil business now instead of in a year or so when his father retired? Of course he cared about Ewing Oil and appreciated what it provided for the Ewing family, but at the same time, why did he need to concern himself about the ins and outs of the oil business anymore? As soon as his father retired and passed Ewing Oil over to JR and the ranch over to him, he knew his days working as Ewing Oil's roadman would be over. He didn't know whether his withdrawal from the oil business would be because of redundancy or resignation, but one way or another, he would be a rancher, not an oilman come 1974. Knowing that, he'd been working with his father and Ray at the ranch over the past few months and he was growing more confident and competent every day; he enjoyed working for Ewing Oil, but he was ready and willing to take over at Southfork Ranch when the time came. With that in mind now, he felt for his father, but he couldn't quite bring himself to care as much as he did; Ewing Oil wasn't now, wouldn't be, and had never really been his, but Southfork Ranch was set to, and by all accounts, business on the ranch was booming. Of course, the price they sold their cattle for was solely determined by market value, which was affected by the economy his father was so concerned about, but from everything he knew and was inferring from his father's commentary, the steadiness of the ranching business was not something to be concerned about, the oil business though, was. He was sympathetic, he understood the impact a bad economy could have on business and family, and he did feel bad for his father, brother, the Ewing family and everyone in the oil industry, however, his sympathy wasn't empathy and he didn't truly feel what his father was feeling. For now, he didn't foresee problems in his personal or business life, not unless his father or JR decided to make problems.

Hearing his nephew's soft babbling, Bobby's attention was drawn away from both his father's speech and his own inner thoughts; JR, Sue Ellen and John Ross were finally down for breakfast, not a moment too soon. "Mama, daddy", listening as his older brother greeted their parents, he had a feeling that somehow, JR knew exactly what he was walking into, but he didn't want to acknowledge it until he had to. Observing the situation as it played out, Bobby couldn't help but feel relieved when his father not only acknowledged, but redirected his attention toward JR; he'd fought for Ewing Oil for a while, but now that he had had a taste of another side of life, he was glad he was on his way out of the oil business. JR and his daddy were naturals at discussing numbers, both real and hypothetical, and they both seemed to really understand business models a lot better than he did, so for them, although the topic was aggravating, the conversation was invigorating.

Strapping John Ross into his highchair, Sue Ellen smiled kindly at Miss Ellie, Lucy and Bobby before thanking Teresa and silently commencing eating her breakfast and feeding John Ross his bowl of apple and apricot purée. It was difficult to understand quite what Jock was so concerned about, but JR seemed to, and thankfully, he was participating in the conversation like the vice president he was, rather than the easy scapegoat Jock sometimes treated him as. She didn't know much about the inner workings of the stock market or all of the politics and dealing that went into influencing certain things in industry, national and international economies, but from what she could tell, there had been a sudden drop in the stock market index and Jock, being a forward thinker, was already calculating the potential consequences. While she didn't quite see the point in stressing about something that wasn't actually a real problem just yet, she did understand it, because she had done the same thing many times in the past, albeit with much less serious topics, but still, she understood the thought process. It seemed as if JR was handling the situation with ease though, and she trusted his judgement, so for now, she didn't really have too many thoughts about Jock's rambling; he was entitled to express his opinion and he wasn't really harming anyone by doing so.

Twenty minutes later, as he drove through Braddock on his way to work, JR's mind drifted. He had always managed to stay one step ahead when it came to business, and he didn't see any real signs of his future planning failing Ewing Oil just yet, so he wasn't nearly as worried as his father was, but that didn't mean they could afford to be any less diligent than they were. They had to focus and figure out a plan for all possible circumstances if they wanted to stay in business and maintain the growth and positive changes they had achieved so far. That wouldn't be a problem though, because both he and his father were smart, motivated, forward thinking men, men who didn't like to lose and if challenged, would do anything they had to to win.

To be continued…


	435. Moving Day

**Dallas, Texas**

Walking around their Southfork bedroom one more time to check that nothing they intended to bring with them had been left behind, Sue Ellen then paused and sighed to herself happily, much like she had the first time she had entered the bedroom as Mrs JR Ewing. Her feelings now were slightly different to her feelings back then, but at the heart of it, she was happy and excited for much the same reason; it was finally moving day, the first day of her and JR's next chapter in life.

Packing their things hadn't taken nearly as long as she had imagined it would, because the reality of their life at Southfork was that other than the things in their bedroom, everything else belonged to the Ewing family as a whole, not her and JR as a couple. Of course, they had known that and had purchased the necessary furnishings for their new home, but even with that in mind, she hadn't quite realised just how little they had to bring with them. With Teresa and Miss Ellie's help, packing her, JR and John Ross' clothes and various personal items had been an easy task, especially since they were leaving the large furniture items at Southfork for convenience to them and other potential guests or future children, and because the dark furniture didn't really match the interior style of their new home. As well as physically easy, it had been surprisingly emotionally easy; while she was somewhat sentimentally reflective now that it was actually time to say goodbye to their first marital home, happiness and excitement were still her main feelings and were the feelings she had had for the majority of their journey toward becoming homeowners. She knew JR had been a little bit hesitant at first, mainly because he was concerned about his father's potential reaction to the news of them leaving, however, now that it was all happening and everything with Jock had been settled, she had no doubt he was as excited as she was.

"Are we ready?" jumping slightly as she heard JR's voice and then felt his hand on her shoulder, Sue Ellen's thoughts returned to the present moment. There was nothing more to check, there hadn't really been since Friday when the majority of the packing had been done, but now, it was all actually happening, it was officially time to vacate their old life. "I am if you are", turning to look at him as she responded, she smiled brightly before leaning up and kissing him softly. She was more than ready to start the next chapter in their life together, and as sentimental as Southfork was, it wasn't going anywhere, so she felt no sadness, only happiness and excitement.

Hours later, after unpacking the majority of what they had brought with them and adjusting the placement of some of their new furnishings, Sue Ellen couldn't help but laugh at how empty the house still looked. It was abundantly clear now that it would take more than a few meetings with an interior decorator and unpacking their few personal belongings before their new house looked like a home. She had no desire to clutter the many clean, clear surfaces in the house with various knickknacks, and she knew JR simply didn't notice or care enough to request anything similar to that, but she was now a firm believer in the idea that a house wasn't a true family home without some kind of personal touch. Even without many things that indicated exactly who lived in the house though, she still absolutely loved their new home; it was everything she had always dreamt about, it was everything she and JR had asked for and it was everything she had imagined it to be when it was just in the early stages of renovation. Their contractor had done an excellent job directing his team of workers to do the restoration and renovation work, and the interior designer and decorators had done a lovely job with their suggestions for how to incorporate the look Sue Ellen desired with the existing skeleton of the home. Overall, it was a beautifully restored, classic, but still individually designed and decorated home, and she absolutely loved it.

After unpacking and then retiring to their new living room for a well-deserved drink, JR's thoughts somewhat mirrored, but also differed from his wife's thoughts. He had never really had a strong opinion on décor, so looking at the pictures, he'd mostly just agreed to whatever Sue Ellen and their interior designer thought was best and what didn't scream 'ugly' at him. Now that they were in their new home though, he absolutely understood why Sue Ellen had pushed for a bright, airy design and decoration rather than the other version of classic décor, dark wood and heavy furniture. Sue Ellen loved the lake house and she had never been shy about making that opinion known, and now that he could compare the two, he definitely saw which parts she really loved about it and which parts she didn't mind veering away from. The pale walls, neutral, but still classic furnishings and layout of objects to take advantage of the most natural light to enter each room made for both a pleasant and comfortable space. He had never really analysed it before, but from all of the conversations he and Sue Ellen had had, and from seeing it all pulled together now, he absolutely understood and liked what she had been aiming to achieve and what they had actually achieved. This was their family home, he already loved it and knew he and Sue Ellen had made the right decision by purchasing the old Wade ranch, renovating it and making it their own. It would look perfect as soon as they put up a few more family photographs and filled in some of the bookshelves and other spaces, because as his mother and Sue Ellen had both pointed out, a family home needed some indication of who the family that lived there were. That was a minor thing though, and as far as he was concerned, their new home was wonderful and he had no regrets.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: No chapter tomorrow. Thanks for reading :)**


	436. Good Morning

**Dallas, Texas**

Although she stirred a little as the first hint of the sunrise began to peek through the drawn curtains in their bedroom, Sue Ellen wasn't nearly as alert in the morning as her husband was, so without stopping to get annoyed or to consider waking up for the day, she subconsciously turned over and returned to her previous restful sleep. Their move in day had gone surprisingly well, especially considering how much controversy their decision had caused over the past couple of months, though by the end of the day, both JR and Sue Ellen were exhausted, as were the rest of the Ewing family. JR and Sue Ellen's evening had ended much more quietly than they had originally planned and anticipated, because by the time they were done unpacking, somewhat arranging things and then performing as appreciative and generous hosts for the rest of the Ewing family, it was late and they were tired. After saying goodbye to the family and putting John Ross down for the night, they had made their way downstairs to the living room with the intention of having a drink and just relaxing together for the first time in their new home, which they did, but not exactly in the way they had both imagined prior to the day. In the back of both of their minds, there had been further intentions than what had actually happened, because it was an important occasion and they wanted to celebrate in an appropriate fashion, but the reality of the evening was that after a long day, they were both worn-out and anything more than kissing was probably unrealistic. Their quiet evening alone together wasn't unenjoyable though, not at all, because even being tired, Sue Ellen's enthusiasm about the whole experience was contagious. For JR, the thrill of owning and living in their own home was really more about the overall freedom than any opportunity to start from scratch when piecing together a room, but that didn't take away from either of them understanding what and how the other felt.

Five or ten minutes after Sue Ellen's initial sleep disruption, JR's body clock kicked into action as it did every morning. Slowly awaking, it took him a few moments to contextualise everything, because even just lying in bed was a different experience now, once he was more awake though, everything fell into place and he grinned to himself. Sue Ellen was sleeping as typically and as peacefully as usual, and with her brunette hair spread across her pillow and over her face, and her pale pink nightgown draping gently over her womanly body, she looked lovely to him. She pretended to be embarrassed by his morning compliments, but he knew she secretly loved them, and he was glad, because he genuinely meant them; she was a beautiful woman, inside and out, even with messy hair and no makeup. Looking at the clock, even though he already knew the time, because rarely did he sleep through his natural body clock alarm, his grin grew. A lot of the time, their mornings weren't nearly as relaxed as they always expressed a want for them to be, but he hoped that now that they were living alone, things would be different, and with their new living situation, he actually had a lot more control over making things different. Of course, John Ross was still young and needed his and Sue Ellen's attention in the morning, especially today, because Mrs Smith, his baby nurse, didn't work Sunday's, but in general, he and Sue Ellen were in control of how and when things happened at home. No longer did they have to be downstairs exactly at exactly eight in the morning for family breakfast; no longer did they have to be switched on and ready for social niceties for pre-dinner cocktails and family dinner, and no longer did they have to wait until 'later' when they were alone in their bedroom to have a proper conversation. Neither he nor Sue Ellen could probably really predict how easily they would adapt or what challenges they would face in the future, but it felt wonderful to actually have options, options for their initial actions and options for what to do when conflict inevitably entered their relationship in some way.

Feeling JR's hand on her face before she actually opened her eyes and saw him, Sue Ellen smiled to herself and him and murmured a few sleepy words. "Good morning", eventually opening her eyes, she was taken aback by the way he was looking at her; she knew he loved her and he was pleased about their new situation, but he looked so happy and she was so thankful to be a part of his happiness. Gently moving closer to him, she then gave him a soft kiss before falling into an easy, relaxed conversation with him; the ultimate physical intimacy that had yet to take place in their new home would eventually happen, but for now, it was nice to just enjoy the moment, especially the peace and quiet. While Southfork in the very early morning was peaceful, it didn't stay that way for too long with seven occupants talking and readying themselves for the day; the change at their new home was a welcome one.

Ten minutes later, in the middle of a conversation that was simultaneously about everything and nothing, Sue Ellen paused for a second before looking at JR knowingly and slipping out of bed. Tying her robe as she walked down the hall, she mentally patted herself on the back as she entered John Ross' new nursery; she had been right, he had awoken, right on time, and thankfully, he appeared to have slept just fine. She had been a little worried about him adapting to a new environment, but so far, he appeared to be dealing with the move just fine, or at least she hoped he was and his good night's sleep wasn't just the result of sheer exhaustion from watching all of the activity yesterday. There was no point in worrying about what may or may not have been just yet though, because at present, John Ross was happy and that was all that really mattered. Talking to him as she picked him up out of his crib, changed his diaper and clothes and then carried him into her and JR's bedroom, she couldn't help but grin to herself as she listened to his happy babbling and felt his small body relaxed against her. Watching JR enter the bedroom, carrying John Ross' morning bottle, her grin widened; her perfect, happy family picture was complete and she loved it. Realistically, a family morning in bed probably wouldn't be an extremely regular thing, because JR still had to work during the week and John Ross was now used to eating in his highchair, with the adults at the breakfast table, but every once in a while, it was nice to have a free, unplanned morning to just relax.

To be continued…


	437. Day One

**Dallas, Texas**

"So? Do you like it?" watching JR as he took his first bite of the breakfast she had made them, bacon and scrambled eggs, Sue Ellen couldn't help but feel a little nervous about his reaction; she hadn't cooked in a long time and even though she knew she was a good cook, she still wanted to hear it from JR. She hadn't always enjoyed her mother's lessons on how to be a classy and sophisticated, but equally domesticated woman, but she did appreciate the way possessing those skills ultimately benefitted her. She loved being able to look after her husband and son, both physically and emotionally, and she loved that despite having little recent experience, her old, well-rehearsed domestic skills felt completely natural to her once she was actually in the kitchen. Additionally, although she had no desire to fall into the complete housewife role, the one that included all housekeeping tasks, she couldn't deny that it did thrill her a little bit to feel normal and useful. Making the bed and washing dishes weren't particularly interesting activities, but they were a novelty for her and she enjoyed the satisfaction of seeing something done and knowing she had made it happen. The women's liberation movement probably wouldn't appreciate her opinion and she knew they had probably had a point, because her life was the exception to the rule, not the rule itself, but despite that, she couldn't and wouldn't deny that she loved her roles as a wife and mother and she was loving the mundane activities that came with homeownership. She wasn't stupid though, she knew if she did the things she was so excited about for too long, she would end up bored, tired and possibly resentful, because domestic labour wasn't nearly as appreciated as it should be and it definitely wasn't as fun or glamorous as she found it right now. Because of that and because it seemed only logical that they do so, she and JR had hired a housekeeper to assist them; Francisca, a middle-aged woman who came highly recommended by Teresa, would not live with them fulltime, but she would be present enough to keep the house clean and the small Ewing family happy and well-fed. For now though, as it was Sunday and they had only just moved in, Sue Ellen was free to enjoy her happy homemaker fantasy and reality, and JR was free to enjoy watching her be and enjoy being so normal and domesticated.

"Mmm, yes darlin', it's delicious. You're a wonderful cook", looking up from his breakfast plate, JR complimented and reassured his wife, meaning every word he said. Patricia Shepard had a few strange parenting ideas, teaching methods and questionable motives, but her parenting obviously wasn't entirely bad, because Sue Ellen was a very capable, talented young woman and being the polite lady she was, she gave credit where credit was due, which in this case, was to her mother. He doubted that Patricia had intended for her daughter to look gracefully sexy when she pulled her hair back off her face, put an apron on and moved around the kitchen preparing food, but that was exactly how she looked and he highly enjoyed seeing her that way. If John Ross hadn't been present, he probably would've made his feelings a lot clearer, however, he did have some decency and self-control and he had always enjoyed having to wait a little while for something, because when he did eventually get it, the anticipation that had built up inside him only elevated his level of satisfaction. "Thank you", watching her as she thanked him for his compliments, he knew his thoughts weren't too far off her own; her large, brown eyes were very expressive, and right now, they told him everything he needed to know.

Half an hour later, after finishing their breakfast and jointly working to wash, dry and put away the dishes and tidy the kitchen, Sue Ellen paused, looked at her watch and then really stopped to take in her surroundings, and as she did, the smile that had been on her face all morning only grew. It felt wonderful to have the entire day to do whatever she and JR wanted to do, without having to consider what the rest of the Ewing family were doing and where they were doing it. She didn't dislike the Ewing family, and in general, they were all fairly respectful of the shared space, but with seven people in one home, things did sometimes get a bit cramped and privacy wasn't easy to come by. As well as the space issue, living at Southfork made it difficult to establish themselves as a family of three when their lives were so closely connected with the other four Ewing family members; a little space was nice to have and she was glad she and JR had made the decision to establish that space, both physically and emotionally. She and JR finally had what they wanted and had been talking about for months, and now that they did, she was determined to make sure they made the most of it.

Unfortunately, although JR and Sue Ellen were thoroughly enjoying their new living arrangements, the reaction to the situation was not quite the same down the street at Southfork. Breakfast had been a quick, quiet meal, though it was obvious that everyone was silently having the same thoughts; it was weird for three members of the family to be absent, not just on vacation this time, but permanently. What made things difficult and tense though was the differing opinions on the situation; where Bobby was accepting and happy for his brother and family, and for himself, Miss Ellie and Lucy were heartbroken to have 'lost' John Ross and Sue Ellen, and Jock was still annoyed and almost angry that JR hadn't done exactly as he had proposed. Whatever their individual opinions were though, they would eventually all have to move on, because JR and Sue Ellen were in control of their own lives now and they were loving it.

To be continued...


	438. Southfork Sunday

**Dallas, Texas**

Zipping up John Ross' winter coat and then moving to slide his boots on, Sue Ellen looked up at JR, "I think we should call first. Just to let someone know we'll be there and I suppose, if they want to join us, to extend that invitation too. It's only polite". They were all set to head down to the stables to see the horses, because it was something John Ross enjoyed and they wanted to keep things as normal and familiar as possible, however, as much as it was normal and familiar, it was also different now. They were Ewings and had been told many times that they were welcome to visit or move back to Southfork at any time, but still, they didn't live there anymore and she did feel a little strange about just turning up unannounced.

Listening and considering what Sue Ellen was saying, JR nodded, murmured a few words and walked over to the phone. She had a point and although he was more of the opinion that as Ewings, they didn't have to ask permission or inform anyone of what they were doing on Ewing land, he knew that it would ease her mind and really, it wasn't that difficult to call. Dialling the number for Southfork, he secretly hoped Teresa picked up the phone instead of his mother, father or niece; because if he could just leave a message with her, it was much less likely he and Sue Ellen would be roped into spending the afternoon at Southfork. Hearing the phone ringing and then Teresa answering, he was initially pleased, however, as she explained that Lucy, Bobby and his father had all left the house earlier to head down to the stables, he knew they weren't completely free from familial obligation. There was a very real possibility that his, Sue Ellen and John Ross' visit to the Southfork ranch stables would be timed so they would be there when Bobby, Lucy and Jock returned from their morning ride in enough time to get back up to the house for Sunday lunch. If that happened, there would definitely be an invitation extended and as part of their promise to not become strangers, they would definitely accept that invitation, even if he didn't particularly want to. It wasn't that he disliked his family, because he didn't, he really didn't, but he also didn't want to spend as much time with them as he had in the past, because after experiencing a little bit of freedom on vacation and now living on their own, he much preferred the way things were now. He was neither of his parent's favourite son and although his relationship with each of them had been better recently than it had been in the past, he personally felt more loved and valued by Sue Ellen and John Ross than he did by his parents, so it wasn't difficult to understand why he would rather spend time with them. That being said though, lunch with his family wasn't the end of the world and to be agreeable and accept an invitation if it was given, was the mature thing to do and the best way to maintain good relations between his small family and the larger Ewing family.

A few miles away, completely unaware of her aunt and uncle's plans, Lucy Ewing slowed her horse down to a trot as she reached the fence that indicated the boundary line between Southfork land and JR and Sue Ellen's land. She couldn't see much, because the angle she was looking at the property from was obscured by a few trees closer to the house, but even just looking at the house was enough to trigger her thoughts. Her therapist, a kind middle-aged woman named Doctor Lacey, had been working on getting her to understand that in no way was she responsible for the actions of others, and that even if she felt abandoned sometimes, she was loved and wanted, however, just being told that wasn't enough sometimes. She had her own friends and her own life, but there were also times in her life where she did enjoy simpler activities like spending time with grandma, aunt and young cousin, but as Sue Ellen and JR had moved out and taken John Ross with them, the opportunities for building strong familial relationships had dropped, as had her mood. Her aunt, uncle and cousin had only been gone for a day, but the length of time didn't take away from her ability or right to feel upset, because as everyone had told her before, her feelings were valid and she didn't need to justify them. She missed having a younger woman to talk to and she missed having John Ross around to play with and fuss over; she enjoyed when he laughed at something she did, or gave her little hugs when he was tired or sad. She and JR had never really been close and to be honest, she didn't really miss him, however, she did miss the way family conversations were when all was well at Ewing Oil and at Southfork, and right now, things weren't right at either place, so the atmosphere at Southfork just wasn't pleasant. Shaking her head and sighing, she then took a deep breath and hoped her grandmother was right when she said things would take a little getting used to and they had to give JR and Sue Ellen some space, but eventually, things would calm down and return to a new normal state.

Half an hour later, down at the stables, whether JR wanted it to be obvious or not, it was apparent that they had arrived and clear where they were. He didn't mind so much now though, because John Ross adored horses and the giggling coming from the third stall on the right as he fed a carrot to Chestnut, Sue Ellen's horse, was very satisfying to hear. What was less satisfying to hear though was the faint sound of voices and the clip-clop of horses hooves in the distance; his brother and father were back from their ride.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: In the previous chapter, their new housekeeper was called Carmen, however, as presea221 pointed out, Carmen was the maid in the TNT show. I didn't even think about that at the time I was writing and had no intention of making them the same characters. To avoid confusion though, the previous chapter has been edited and the character has been renamed Francisca.  
There won't be a chapter tomorrow. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	439. Coddling?

**Dallas, Texas**

"Hm", clearing her throat, Sue Ellen looked at her husband and then at her father-in-law and spoke, "JR, John Ross is getting tired, I think we'd better get going". Lunch had been normal and undramatic, and coffee in the living room afterwards had been pleasant and a nice opportunity to catch up, even though they had only been gone for a day and there wasn't really much to catch up on; what had triggered her to speak up now though was Jock's subtle, but obvious, wish for more. If she and JR wanted the boundaries they had agreed upon to actually become a reality, then they had to actually stick to them, and that meant saying 'no' when they were thinking 'no'. From the way Jock spoke about the stock market, it was clear that there were a number of things he, JR and Bobby had to discuss and decide to ensure Ewing Oil was not too negatively impacted; however, from years of living with Jock, she could also tell that the sense of urgency in his voice was exaggerated. JR worked hard for Ewing Oil and if there was a true need for him to remain at Southfork for an impromptu business meeting, then he would, however, there was nothing pressing happening at the moment and any problems or concerns Jock had could wait until Monday.

"Oh Sue Ellen, don't worry about John Ross, I'll take him upstairs and he can take his nap here. His nursery is still functional, even if it is a little bare now"; not quite understanding that Sue Ellen was being truthful, but was also using John Ross as an excuse to leave, Miss Ellie spoke as she walked toward her daughter-in-law and waited for her to hand over her grandson. Unfortunately, things weren't that easy and she was going to have to do as she had told Lucy to do, wait and give Sue Ellen a little time and space to adjust before attempting to reinsert herself into her and John Ross' lives. "Oh Miss Ellie, that's very kind, but I really think it would be better for him to take his nap in his new nursery, so he can get used to all the changes. He slept wonderfully last night, but I don't know if that was just because he was tired from all the activity yesterday or whether it was because he's adaptable and the new environment didn't bother him. I think a little consistency, just for the next few days, is probably what he needs. You do understand don't you?" Truthfully, she did understand, because Sue Ellen had a point; children needed some consistency and routine and while John Ross had that at Southfork, the fact was, Southfork wasn't his home anymore and it was best for everyone if they gave him a few days to adjust before possibly confusing him with a nap at Southfork. That being said though, she was a little hurt by Sue Ellen's response, because as much as she knew it wasn't meant in a mean or hostile way, the change from having her son, daughter-in-law and grandson around all the time to hardly at all, was difficult to get used to. She knew she was probably being dramatic though, because it had only been a day, so of course things were still new and a little difficult for everyone.

Unfortunately, although things were difficult and a little confusing for everyone, not everyone responded in the same way to the same situation, and while Miss Ellie's suggestion that John Ross sleep in his old nursery was offered out of kindness, Jock's agreement and concurring statement was more to do with authority and setting the tone than being benevolent. Hearing the discussion occurring between his wife and daughter-in-law, Jock turned his attention away from JR for a moment to respond. "Don't you think you're being a bit dramatic? The boy is a baby, he will sleep just about anywhere if he is tired, and he will adapt to any situation if he has to. All of this overprotective coddling will do more harm than good in the end; believe me. Remember, he came into our lives, not the other way around. That doesn't mean we love him any less, but it does mean he is subject to the norms and boundaries that were already in place before his birth, he's not supposed to set the boundaries. Run along upstairs, lay him down and if he's as tired as you think he is, then the location he sleeps in won't have any impact on his nap". He had observed enough of his daughter-in-law's cosseting behaviour to form an opinion and he had no problem making his opinion known. While he definitely wanted to give John Ross the world, because he was his first-born grandson, he was the Ewing heir, and he was a very sweet, adorable little boy, he also had an old-fashioned, experienced parent perspective on the situation. He had spoilt Bobby and he had turned into a fine young man, but his wife had spoilt Gary and he had turned into an uncommitted, cowardly, immature boy; things really could turn out either way, and to prevent things from going bad, one needed to ensure that with reward came expectation too. A lot of his thoughts and opinions were more suitable for a child or teenager, but he knew that before a person became a well-behaved, respectful child and a manageable, courteous teenager, they needed to learn how to be those things. A parent needed to be loving, there was no doubt about that, and there was no real problem with a parent giving their child everything either, but a child was just that, a child, ultimately they were not the one in control and to learn the boundaries and norms of life, there had to be some rules and guidance. Sue Ellen bending over backwards to make sure John Ross never felt any discomfort and always had everything he needed and wanted, exactly when he needed and wanted it didn't do too much when it came to building resilience, patience, adaptability or empathy. There was no reason why his parents, the adults, needed to drop everything they were doing and head home just so he could nap in what would arguably be a less comforting space. Jock saw no problem pointing out what seemed obvious to him, he was used to speaking his mind, especially since he had set the tone long ago; when he spoke, people listened and followed.

Unfortunately for Jock, Sue Ellen was not interested in following his opinion just because he voiced it. Shooting a glare at her father-in-law, she then looked at JR, raised an eyebrow as if to invite him to interject to tell his daddy off, and then looked back at Jock, "thank you for sharing your opinion. I hope you'll understand though when I say, I don't want to hear it, or at least, I don't want to hear it in the way it sounds right now. I don't want to get in an argument with you, not here and not now, but I would like to remind you of the discussion you had with me and JR months ago. We said and you agreed that John Ross is our son, we are his parents and we will make decisions about what is best for him as a person while he's young, and then we'll guide him as he gets older to make the best decisions for his personal development and his future. I don't mean to be dramatic and I certainly don't mean to harm him, but it is my belief that he needs to get used to his new home before we start trying to split his time between our home and Southfork. I don't appreciate the inference that we'll somehow ruin him by wanting him to be comfortable, I think most people could benefit from a little more comfort". Not wanting to get into a discussion about how JR could have used a little more love and attention as a child, and not wanting John Ross to fuss any more than he already was, she then looked at JR again before directing her attention back to Jock and also Miss Ellie, though Bobby interrupted before she could say anything.

"Now Sue Ellen, I don't think daddy meant any harm", not having heard Sue Ellen's serious, annoyed tone many times before, Bobby was shocked, and while he could see both sides of the 'argument', he somehow felt the need to defend his father. From the look Sue Ellen gave him as he spoke though, he knew he had probably overstepped a boundary; this wasn't his fight to fight. "Please Bobby, stay out of it", hearing his sister-in-law's tone of voice, he knew to do as she said. She wasn't being rude, but her patience and tolerance for the conversation that had ensued following a simple statement of intention, was beginning to run out.

Observing the whole situation unfolding, JR was shocked at how quickly things turned from a slight disagreement into a discussion about parenting and all the ways they were doing it wrong. Shaking his head, he looked at his father, "daddy, John Ross needs a nap and Sue Ellen and I would prefer if he had it in his new room for consistency sake. It's not about spoiling him or allowing him to control our lives, it's about making everyone's lives easier in the long run. Please respect the decisions Sue Ellen and I are making, even if they aren't the ones you personally would make, and if you really want to discuss it, can we do it in private?" Indicating that he was in no mood to continue a conversation about his and Sue Ellen's parenting decisions at the moment, especially not in front of the family, he then paused before changing topic. "Now, our meeting can wait until tomorrow morning can't it? I promise, I'll be there right on time, just as I always am". Turning his attention to his mother after he finished addressing his father, he knew it was definitely time for them to leave, because although he got the feeling Sue Ellen had exaggerated John Ross' tiredness just a tad earlier, he could tell now that the tension in the room was upsetting him. Even if he wasn't ready for his nap just yet, he was definitely ready to leave, as was Sue Ellen. "Mama, thank you for lunch and for your kind offer. Really, thank you, we appreciate it; we just have to do some things ourselves before we open ourselves up to taking suggestions from everyone else though. I hope you understand", looking at his mother sincerely as he spoke, he was relieved when she nodded and gave him a small smile. All was not well just yet, but he had hope that at some point, it would be. For now though, he had to focus on the present, which unfortunately for him, probably meant an annoyed wife, a fussy son and an angry father. He wasn't incapable, unloving or illogical though, he would be able to find a solution to all of his current problems, it would just take a little time, love and attention.

To be continued…


	440. Irritation

**Dallas, Texas**

After returning home and putting a very sleepy John Ross down for his nap, in his new bedroom, JR had assumed that things would calm down a little, because he and Sue Ellen had been looking forward to a little bit of alone time all day, however, apparently, his assumption was a bit too quick. Standing in the living room with a drink in his hand, he couldn't believe how agitated Sue Ellen was; he knew his father wasn't her favourite person, and admittedly, he understood why she took issue with his attitude sometimes, however, despite having the final word earlier, she was still wound up, as if she were ready for another argument. He knew better than to try to reason with her before she had said her piece though; she needed a little time and space to vent, then she would be open to hearing what he had to say. When he was tense, he often required a similar approach if he was to be communicated with; sometimes it just felt good to be able to say exactly what was on his mind, without being interrupted. Allowing Sue Ellen to let out her annoyed thoughts first, he wasn't too surprised when her mood changed slightly, moving away from a rambling rant and toward what was clearly bothering her, what she perceived to be criticism of their parenting skills.

She was more headstrong and confident now than she had been in the past, but that didn't mean she was free from feeling sadness, inferiority or doubt, and while other people didn't have to tiptoe around her just because she was sensitive, it would also be nice if they kept some of their thoughts and opinions to themselves. It was difficult being a first time mother, a wife and an independent, confident woman, because for the most part, she was figuring a lot of things out as she went along. For JR, it had become clear to him over the past few months that Doctor Williams had really helped them; Sue Ellen needed personal guidance, and their marriage truly benefitted from having a third-party assisting them. Their day so far had been full of ups and downs and he had a feeling that Doctor Williams would find some deeper meaning to all of it when they explained what had happened, but if JR had any control over anything that went on, he wouldn't be the one in the firing line. He was done with playing the bad guy when it came to his marriage; business he didn't mind so much, ruthless and unemotional worked in that context, but his relationship with Sue Ellen was different and he had no plans for his words or behaviour to be perceived as anything other than loving and supportive.

"…I'm sorry JR, I know he's your daddy and I should respect him, but that man drives me insane sometimes. He's a hypocrite; he admitted in the past that he gave Bobby everything and he doesn't regret it; at times, he also downright spoils Lucy, and while I was pregnant, he swore our baby would have everything and more, but as soon as I make any move to participate in anything similar, I'm labelled overprotective and dramatic. All I want is for John Ross to grow up with the emotional security and understanding that neither you nor I had when we were growing up. Of course I want him to be resilient and adaptable, but not because it's all he's ever known and he's grown used to having his needs and wants ignored".

"All of that is really beside the point though; your daddy took what should have been a simple discussion and turned it into one long criticism of our parenting abilities; I don't like it and I don't appreciate it, especially not in front of everyone else. Your mama I understand, I don't think she means any harm and I don't think she intends for her actions to come across as too close for comfort sometimes, but your daddy, I hate to say it, but I think he does mean harm. Not physical harm or even intentional emotional harm, but he's used to being in control and having people listen to him when he speaks; even if we did something he himself would do, he wouldn't automatically support us if he couldn't find some way to attribute the idea to his brilliant thinking. I get the feeling he likes to undermine other people's credibility and he'll do it in any way he can if he has to, including criticising decisions that don't really affect him in any way".

"I'm sure there are many examples of where he did something to ensure Bobby was comfortable or happy, but I'm also sure that if you asked him whether that counts as coddling, he'd say no. That is what gets to me, the hypocrisy. I don't want John Ross to have the same feelings of sadness and vulnerability that we had when we were children. I want him to grow up knowing we love him and will do things to assist him. Perhaps it is a bit too much, but does it really matter? He's happy, we're happy, well, I was until all of this happened. I just want to continue living the way we were, without analysing every little action and without wondering whether I'm ruining John Ross with love. I don't want him to be spoiled or uncontrollable because he thinks he's the boss, but he's still so young that I don't think either of those things are an issue anyway. Even if they were though, I don't like that your daddy is so vocal about his opinion. I can't control that, he's allowed to have an opinion, I know that, but I can't help that it gets to me".

Pausing after rambling, but trying to stay somewhat close to the topic they had originally been discussing, she then considered everything she had just said. She was so annoyed and hurt, but she was also confused; clearly, Jock's words had hit a nerve if she was so upset about them. Looking at JR, she then spoke again, this time in a much quieter voice, "am I being oversensitive?"

To be continued…


	441. At Ease

**Dallas, Texas**

"No darlin', you're not being oversensitive, you're being a good, loving mother to our son", placing his glass down, JR stepped closer to his wife. Her deep protectiveness and wish to create a good, happy life for John Ross pleased him greatly, because as unfortunate as it was, she was right, neither of them had had an ideal upbringing and it was a scary and saddening thought to imagine John Ross having the same feelings about his childhood. He hated to admit it, but she was also right about his father, he was a hypocrite and his behaviour was often driven by his own selfish desires rather than because he was truly doing the best for everyone overall. It worked at Ewing Oil; ambition, willingness to do just about anything, and the ability to make large decisions without letting the impact on real people get to him; those things were all an asset to him in business, but in his personal life, the positive side was less apparent. It was one thing for Jock to make demands of Ewing Oil's employees, but it was another for him to do the same to his adult son and daughter-in-law. There were ways to make an opinion known and to disagree on things without one or both parties coming away angry and upset; JR knew that, it had taken his mother, wife and Doctor Williams for him to understand and know how to do so, but he did understand and did see the benefit of thoughtful communication.

In recent months, his and Sue Ellen's relationship had really changed and developed, in a very good way; his relationship with his father had also changed, though those changes had been both good and bad depending on whose perspective the changes were seen from. In the past, JR had worked very hard to please his father, not only because he wanted his love and respect, but because he also wanted Ewing Oil; he had Ewing Oil now though, not completely just yet, but he had the guarantee it would all be his one day, so in some aspects, he had been able to relax. Without the fear that Ewing Oil would be taken away from him and everything he worked hard to achieve would disappear, he felt a little more free to make large decisions and changes in the company, and after listening to Doctor Williams' wise words, he felt a little more confident speaking up when personal issues arose. Prior to the previous year, he never would have spoken to his father or supported Sue Ellen speaking to his father in the manner they had a few months ago when setting the boundaries, and earlier in the day when reiterating their position, but things were different now. It was silly for him, a grown man, to have been so fearful of his father's wrath, and it was harmful to his and Sue Ellen's relationship to allow his father to control the way they acted. Of course, his father had been right in some areas, he had been disappointed to find out about JR's repeated caddish behaviour and he hadn't hesitated to tell him so, however, now that things were different and both JR and Sue Ellen believed JR's reformed self was here to stay, Jock really didn't need to concern himself with their relationship. Additionally, although Jock was a father to three sons, to John Ross, he was just a grandfather and there was no need or request for him to act in the role of father to him. It would be appreciated if he spent constructive quality time with him, but when it came to the way his parents were raising him, his opinion wasn't nearly as sought-after or valued.

For JR, there was no question as to where his loyalties regarding John Ross lay. He and Sue Ellen had been through a lot and had had a lot of detailed discussions about what they wanted in the present and for the future, and when it came to acting on those wants, his position was not easily swayed. Whether John Ross took a nap at Southfork or at their new home was largely unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but he understood why his father's words had upset Sue Ellen. Not only had he belittled her decision, he had also made a point to tell her exactly what he thought of her general attitude toward motherhood. He was allowed to think it was a bit much for her to be so willing and serious about serving John Ross' needs and making sure he was happy, but surely he had to know when it was appropriate to say so and when it was more appropriate to keep his mouth shut. Sue Ellen had been able to defend herself and her behaviour, so it wasn't all bad, but JR understood why she was so irritated and upset by having to do so. It had taken a lot of work for her to get to a point where she was confident about her own thoughts and abilities, but that didn't mean she was completely immune to negative emotion, and to hear someone opposing her deeply thought out perspective, was frustrating and upsetting. JR wanted the same thing as she did, he wanted for them to have a nice, uncomplicated, happy life together, and based on his own experience and what they had discussed many times, he really didn't see an issue with giving John Ross a lot of love or attention.

Although he hadn't said a lot to Sue Ellen in response to her earlier question, he could tell from her expression that she was relieved and pleased to hear his reassurance. "You're right, it wasn't fair or right for daddy to say what he did and you're not being oversensitive by reacting this way. Remember what Doctor Williams said? It's only natural for you, and me, to have a strong desire to protect our son, and it's perfectly normal for us, being aware of our own childhoods, to make the conscious decision to attempt to give our son a different experience. So no, I don't think you are being oversensitive and I don't think daddy was right when he said our actions will cause more harm than good", gently brushing his hand across her cheek and then lightly taking hold of her hand as he spoke, he knew she was relaxing and her mood was improving. He really didn't want to spend their afternoon analysing what had happened earlier, but he knew better than to try and move on too quickly; things would change and improve in their own time, and they would have the happy, enjoyable afternoon alone they had been so excited about earlier. Their day was not ruined, they had just hit a bump in the road, but he was sure that with the right attention and a small discussion about what to do next, it wouldn't be long before the events of the early afternoon were not the main thing on their minds anymore.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Sorry about the sporadic updates lately, it's been a hectic week. Should all be back to normal soon though. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	442. Cooperation

**Dallas, Texas**

Sitting in his father's office, listening to him rant about the state of the economy, JR could almost physically feel the return of the tension Sue Ellen had helped relieve him of earlier in the morning. He was a forward thinker, so he had been planning for the predicted economic downturn for months and he was confident that his plan would help Ewing Oil when things eventually did take a turn for the worse, but there was something in his father's words and tone that made him feel uneasy. The last time he, Bobby and his father had met with the Ewing Oil accountants, they had heard nothing but good news, but for whatever reason, his father now seemed convinced that bad things were coming and they and their accountants had misread the figures and misjudged the situation.

JR didn't know what to think; he had decided almost a year ago that Ewing Oil should take a different path to their counterparts; instead of being cautious and worrying about the economy, they would going full steam ahead and pump as much, sell as much and buy up as much of other, less fortunate companies as they could. He had planned it with both the goals of saving them from having to worry about their current profits, as well as eventually making Ewing Oil the biggest independent oil company in Texas. From his perspective, it made sense to own and operate as many productive fields as they could get their hands on, because at the heart of the issue was a dwindle in national supply. Essentially, for Ewing Oil to grow, they had to sell as much oil as they could, and for that to happen, they needed to be able to access as much oil as they could. The price they were selling for didn't necessarily matter too much as long as they were selling a large quantity of it.

JR wasn't stupid or naïve though, he knew the market was unpredictable and things could change very quickly, so he had also been consulting with Ewing Oil's scientists and engineers in order to gauge what other options they had. A long time ago, Bobby had suggested Ewing Oil expand into other fields, namely natural gas, however, JR knew better than to just impulsively jump into a decision. Natural gas was at present, a less profitable business than oil, because unless a company was already established in the natural gas field, it simply wasn't worth the trouble. Natural gas was in demand, but it was also a product that had an artificially set price, one that was well below the market price, making the cost of the equipment and exploration too high in comparison to any potential benefits, especially for a company just starting in that field. Because of that, it didn't make sense for them to put resources into developing a plan for expanding into natural gas. Natural gas wasn't the only other source of energy available though and JR was confident that their excellent employees could come up with some kind of achievable and profitable plan for if the oil market did ever drop dramatically.

Planning everything, keeping in mind that things could change quickly and they had to be prepared, JR had been sure that if he succeeded, he would make his father proud, make him a very rich and powerful man and give his son a wonderful foundation and legacy for his future. Unfortunately, from the way his father was speaking now, pride was the last thing on his mind, and if his opinion was to be believed, the future of the Ewing family's success and good fortune was not as guaranteed as JR thought. Watching as his father shook his head and then looked at the pages of statistical information in front of him, it suddenly became clear to JR why his father was worried, because after ranting angrily about the situation all morning, he was now speaking a lot more clearly and calmly.

"People are dependent on oil, we produce and sell oil. In that respect, we're fine, but you forget JR, the vast majority of Ewing Oil's customers are not personal customers, they're other companies. If the economy keeps going downhill, everyone will start to cut back their operations, which in turn will mean when we go to renegotiate our contracts to sell to them, we're not going to be selling nearly as much as we had anticipated because no one will be able to afford to do as much business as they are currently. You keep talking about how great our plan is, but I don't think you're considering the wider context. We may be working toward Ewing Oil controlling a large percentage of the oil market in Texas and there may be a high demand for it, but if no one has any money because the economy is going downhill, or the price of oil drops dramatically, our actual profit is going to be very different to what we predicted. This is serious, you can be as confident as you want and you can try as many things as you think will work, but sometimes the economy has a mind of its own and we're left to just helplessly follow its lead. I've been around for a long time, I've seen bad things happen and good, prepared men go bust. We need to be serious and start preparing for the worst".

Listening to his father finally explaining things in a less emotional and more clear manner, JR still didn't necessarily agree with his interpretation of what information they had available to them, but he did find it easier to understand why from his father's perspective of the situation, things were bad. Fortunately for Ewing Oil, JR wasn't interested in passively accepting that the state of the economy was what it was and bad things were about to happen, he was more interested in preventive action; he loved a good challenge and he loved winning. "I understand and I agree this is a serious situation. I do believe though that with the way our business is set up currently, we do have the opportunity to be successful even if things around us are heading in a different direction. That being said, what do you have in mind? Because you know me daddy, I don't think I need to remind you, but I will anyway, because I mean it; Ewing Oil means a lot to me, and just as you wanted to build it into a successful company for you and your sons, I have the same ambition for myself and my son. I will work with you to come out on top; I need you to work with me too though. Please, don't doubt my abilities or plans, not without analysing the information I'm making decisions based on. We want the same thing, so tell me, how do you think we can achieve that? I'm listening and I'm willing to do whatever it takes". Not allowing his earlier uneasy feeling to control him, JR spoke directly and respectfully to his father and then waited for his response. He was gambling a bit, because his father was still annoyed with him about his and Sue Ellen's decision to leave Southfork and then to make a point of reiterating their position when it came to parenting, however, that was personal and this was business, and he had faith that his father, like him, was able to separate the two. Without Ewing Oil, their families would have a lot less than they currently did, so they needed to work together to ensure the company stayed strong; there was no place for petty personal disagreements in business and he hoped his father would remember that.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: The discussion in this chapter is all based on what I understand to be the context of the time, so I thought I'd better include it, because something like the stock market crashing in real life would have probably had some effect on the characters and storyline in the show. This is probably about as deep as the business talk will go though. Thanks for reading and for all the recent reviews, they're much appreciated :)**


	443. Day Three

**Dallas, Texas**

"Would you like anything else Mrs Ewing?" setting Sue Ellen's cup and saucer down on the coffee table, Francisca, JR and Sue Ellen's new housekeeper, then looked at her employer and waited for her next instruction. It was only her first day working for the Ewing family and it was only Sue Ellen's third day living in her new home, so neither of them had quite found their exact rhythm and routine just yet, however, things seemed to be running smoothly so far and both women were pleased with the arrangement.

"Thank you", acknowledging the coffee sitting next to her, Sue Ellen then considered Francisca's question, thinking back to when she and Miss Ellie would have coffee or tea together. From what she understood, agency staff usually had a pretty good grasp on what domestic tasks were required of them and how they should schedule those tasks into their day, so she really didn't need to direct her toward completing the basic tasks she was hired to do. That probably wasn't what Francisca was asking though, she was probably asking about additional tasks, because in serving Sue Ellen a cup of coffee, she had been fulfilling a request, not simply following her to-do list. "That's all for now", shaking her head as if to say no, Sue Ellen was relieved when she received a smile and nod in response; being in control of her own household was different to just being a resident at Southfork and it was now clear to her that it would take a little bit of getting used to.

A little while later, after juggling the tasks of carefully drinking her coffee, reading John Ross a story and then watching him as he shuffled and crawled around on the floor to reach out to the toys she had placed just out of reach to encourage him to keep moving on his own, Sue Ellen then looked at her watch. Had it really only been twenty minutes? She had felt so busy and accomplished, but apparently only a small amount of time had passed and despite being proud of handling things on her own for a while, she hadn't really accomplished anything remarkable or praiseworthy. Turning her attention back to John Ross as his attention was drawn to one of his squeaky toys, she couldn't help but grin as he babbled and giggled happily to himself as he discovered and rediscovered the connection between squeezing the toy and producing the high-pitched sound. In an effort to not become overbearing and overprotective like Jock had accused her of being and her mother had alluded to months ago, she was trying her best to allow John Ross a bit of controlled independence. Teaching him new things by showing him, talking to him and assisting him, was her job as a mother, but after a little bit of thinking, she could also see that perhaps there was room for her to step back just a little. Providing him with a few options and allowing him to just entertain himself for a little while was good for him; he was still relatively young, so his attention span wasn't very long, and he didn't have nearly as many skills as he would eventually acquire, however, as the scene playing out in front of her evidenced, he wasn't incapable.

Allowing her mind to wander as she watched her young son playing, it soon became clear to her that her plans to return to the world of work and hopefully, the world of adult friends, were very good ideas. John Ross was young and needy, but he was nowhere near as needy as he had once been, and JR had other things to think about during workhours; she needed to have a life of her own to enjoy in addition to the life she had with her family, it would be good for all of them. She was too young to just stay home and ignore that at one point, she had had a life outside marriage and motherhood, and recently, within the last year, she had really begun to discover her own identity. Additionally, she was very lucky, she and JR didn't have to worry about money, so she didn't have to worry about domestic tasks if she didn't want to, and that meant she had more time to focus on her son, her husband, herself and others. It was time to re-evaluate her life and start living in a way that would benefit everyone, not just her close relationship with John Ross.

An hour later, after allowing John Ross to tire himself out with his various books, toys and general movement, she fed him, changed him and put him down for his usual morning nap. He was adjusting well to their new home and she was relieved. Walking downstairs, she then made the call she had finally decided to make, and when she did, she was relieved to hear that not only did her old boss at the women's charity remember her, she also sounded thrilled to have her ready and willing to re-join the team. She would have to make more of an effort to organize playdates outside of her and John Ross' weekly class, and she knew she had to work on making friends outside of people who she really only had a relationship with because of their common identities as mothers, but she was taking things one step at a time for now.

Wandering around the house alone, she knew she and JR had made the correct decision; she absolutely loved having her own space, her own time and the freedom to choose what to do with those things. Interestingly though, although she had only lived away from Southfork for a very short period of time, there were already things she missed about her former living situation. While Francisca was polite and seemed nice, there was still a formality between her and Sue Ellen that Sue Ellen didn't feel with Teresa, and while she knew her mother-in-law was only a phone call and a short distance up the street, she somehow felt distant from Miss Ellie. Looking at her watch again and seeing it would be time for lunch soon enough, she then picked up the phone and dialled, waiting for JR or Diane, his secretary, to pick up. She didn't usually make a habit of calling JR at work, however, she was a bit lonely and she wanted to hear a familiar voice. Her new life was definitely taking a bit of getting used to, but she was confident that in time, everything would work out exactly as she had always imagined.

To be continued…


	444. Talk It Out

**Dallas, Texas**

Handing JR his drink, Sue Ellen looked at him sincerely as she spoke, "tell me honestly, are you worried?" Their conversation earlier in the day had been on her mind all afternoon and she had a feeling that if he was even half as emotionally invested in Ewing Oil as she believed he was, then he had a lot of things running through his mind too. She hoped that being home for the night now would allow him to relax for a little while before he had to return to the office the next day. She knew him well though, before he could relax, he needed to let all of his feelings out, either verbally, or physically. Prior to their now clear understanding of what they both wanted and enjoyed when it came to the intimate side of their relationship, some of the most exciting and satisfying sex they had had had been at times where JR was worked up and needed somewhere to direct his energy. With John Ross in the living room with them at present though, she knew verbally would be his chosen communication method, for now at least. If she thought about it realistically though, communicating by talking before acting physically was really the best option, because as history had proven so many times before, a lot of the time, they didn't really achieve anything except temporary satisfaction by acting on their physical instincts first. Sex was wonderful, but it wasn't magic, it didn't make problems disappear and acting as if it did was a recipe for disaster. That being said, there was nothing wrong with working through their feelings physically after they had verbally communicated; sometimes a discussion that ended with their clothes scattered on the floor was exactly what they needed to clear their heads. Talking was the key though, without it, there was too much room for confusing and untrue interpretations of issues.

Taking a sip of his drink, JR considered his wife's question for a moment before answering. "Am I worried? Yes and no. It's hard to explain darlin', but put simply, I'm still confident that the pieces I've been arranging over the last year will come together and protect us if things do worsen, but I won't deny that daddy's words and tone have made me question my confidence. I don't think worried is the right word to use though. Daddy's concern is concerning to me. He's the backbone of Ewing Oil and we need him to be strong. Having him consider things to be so black and white this early on is frustrating and borderline ridiculous. The stock market dropped a few points, so what? It's not the end of the world. I can't believe a man of his experience is so shaken by such a small event. It could become something larger and more concerning, but until we're actually nearing that, I really don't share his level of concern". Gulping his drink as he finished speaking, he then looked over at Sue Ellen to read her reaction. He didn't want to explain the inner workings of Ewing Oil in too much detail for a few reasons, the main reason being that as much as she tried to pretend to understand everything, he knew she didn't and truthfully, probably didn't really care either. The other main reason for his lack of detail was related to caution; although things were a lot better now, there had been a point in their relationship where she had taken his business concerns to heart and it had negatively affected her. He wasn't hiding anything from her and he would answer any questions she had, but he was cautious about unloading absolutely everything on her at this stage; she didn't need to concern herself about a crisis that was at present, non-existent. Surprisingly, mixed in with his thoughts about Sue Ellen and his father had been a couple of thoughts of Doctor Williams; he had initially been cautious about opening up to a complete stranger, but as time went on, he found it increasingly liberating to have someone neutral and rational to speak to. He still thought the man was too nosy for his own good sometimes, but he couldn't deny that his years of training and experience were worth something, and his services had been truly beneficial for his and Sue Ellen's relationship.

Observing her husband as he spoke, Sue Ellen knew he was purposely oversimplifying his feelings, though she was pleased that he wasn't completely glossing over everything. His response had made his position perfectly clear, he was frustrated with his father more than he was frustrated with the supposed bad situation they were entering into. She knew he loved and respected his father though, so his frustration was coming from a place of concern rather than plan annoyance like it had previously when he'd been worked up over Bobby's constant presence and unearned privileges at the office. Generally, JR and his father shared the same vision and most of the time, they agreed on how to achieve their vision, so it was always frustrating for JR when his father's thoughts and actions took a completely different path to his own, especially when he was convinced his way was the right way.

"Mm, I understand. I'm sure your daddy has his reasons for thinking what he does, but I have all the confidence in the world that you're just as knowledgeable and capable of forming a reasonable opinion", touching JR's hand lightly, Sue Ellen then paused, gathering her thoughts for what to say next. She was and wanted to be supportive and sympathetic, but she also had a small urge to dig deeper into why exactly JR was so sure he was right and his father, the man he had just called 'the backbone of Ewing Oil', was wrong. Unfortunately, just as she was about to speak, Francisca appeared in the doorway to announce that dinner was ready to be served in the dining room. They could and would talk over dinner, but the direct conversation they were currently in had been broken. It didn't matter too much though, because they had all night to be alone together, and if she failed to get any answers and/or help JR to relax and unwind, there was always their appointment with Doctor Williams tomorrow. She just wanted the best for him and for their relationship and she knew that to achieve that, they needed to remain close and uninhibited, so she would do what she could to make sure that happened and the good relationship they had created for themselves remained that way.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: No chapter tomorrow. Thanks for reading :)**


	445. A Different Perspective

**Dallas, Texas**

"…what if my daddy is right and I'm wrong? What then?" looking directly at Doctor Williams as he spoke, JR's demeanour moved back and forth between being frustrated and angry and being childlike and needy. "I'll tell you what then; then I lose everything. If my plan to keep Ewing Oil afloat in the predicted bad economy fails, then it won't matter that daddy can't legally take Ewing Oil away from me, because there won't be much of anything left for me to take over when he retires anyway. On the other side, if I am right and everything works out exactly as I planned, then that's wonderful and I'm thinking too much about nothing, but I can't help but feel as though the odds of that scenario playing out without issue are slim to none, especially if you factor in daddy's reaction to being wrong. Only a stupid man would discount Jock Ewing's opinion as nonsense and only a very brave, stupid man would rub it in his nose that he was wrong. I'm not stupid and I don't have any interest in getting on my daddy's bad side, so either way, whether I'm right or wrong, I don't really win".

"I know you're going to ask how that makes me feel, you always do, so I'll save you some time; it frustrates me, it angers me and it worries me. I hate losing and I hate being wrong, but one of those is going to happen and I don't know which one is worse. Either daddy is right and Ewing Oil is ill-prepared for what's to come, or I'm right and my futureproofing plans are going to do what they're designed to do; one way or the other though, someone is going to be annoyed, because we're too alike and neither of us want to be wrong. Neither of us wants anything bad to happen to Ewing Oil either, but I have a strong feeling that if my plan, the one daddy is sceptical of, is what gets us through the bad times, there will be some resentment coming my way. The idea of resentment worries me more personally than professionally though; I don't want to be on bad terms with my daddy"

"When it comes to professional concerns, I have plenty of those too; I'm worried that daddy's negative opinion is going to affect the way the company runs, and I'm worried that the possibility of resentment could also arise if he decides I'm to blame for things going bad. You don't know my daddy, I'm one of the reasons for Ewing Oil's growth in the last decade, but getting him to acknowledge that positive is a lot harder than getting him to acknowledge or remember the negative, especially where my youngest brother is concerned. I've been planning for possible bad times for almost a year and as I said before, I believe my plan is solid, but you can sure as hell bet that the moment something goes wrong, it's going to be _my_ fault. I'm not a clueless, I know I'm a very capable adult, hell, I'm going to be the president of Ewing Oil sometime in the future, but do you think that makes any real difference in day-to-day business? It doesn't, not when something goes wrong".

Holding up his hand as JR paused, Doctor Williams knew it was time to intervene. The JR that was speaking now was a slightly different JR to the man he had encountered in previous appointments, this JR was clearly not as strong and secure as he liked to pretend her was, and just like Sue Ellen, his insecurity seemed to stem from his upbringing. Clearing his throat, Doctor Williams looked at JR and then responded to what he'd heard so far, "explain something to me. I keep hearing 'my daddy' this and 'my daddy' that, but I've yet to hear you really elaborate on exactly why you're so willing to kowtow to your daddy's wishes and why you seem convinced that despite your confidence in your research and planning, something is going to be wrong and everything is going to end badly. Your self-confidence clearly exists, but for whatever reason, you are allowing negative, probably irrational thoughts to take priority over that self-confidence".

"Do you remember when we all discussed the hold Patricia had on Sue Ellen? When we all discussed and agreed that it was counterproductive for her to be so concerned about things that may or may not happen and that just acknowledging her status as an independent adult wasn't enough, she actually had to believe it and live by her words if she wanted things to be different. I'll let you in on a little secret here, that lesson was not specific to Sue Ellen and her relationship with her mother, the general message applies to a lot of things in life. If you're an educated, experienced oilman and businessman and you're confident that your business plans are the right way forward for Ewing Oil, then act like it. Your father is your boss and that's a whole complicated issue in itself, but even if that wasn't the case, there's no reason why you need to think the way you are now".

"This may be a bit difficult for you to do seeing as you've only ever worked for your father, but try to imagine this situation with another man as your boss. You're the vice president of a huge company, you're entrusted with a lot of power and have spent years learning and working your way up to having that privilege and responsibility. As part of your job, you futureproofed as best you could and you believe that at present, those plans will be enough to see the company through any difficulties in the near future. Your boss isn't so sure, he's older and he thinks his experience in business and in life are worth more than yours. Perhaps he's remembering previous economic disasters and how even the best, most brilliant businessmen lost a lot; or perhaps he's just used to making decisions and having people listen to his opinion and in this situation he has some other, unknown reason for thinking the way he does and he expects you to do as his other employees do, listen. Now, tell me what you would say to your boss to convince him that your opinion is worth just as much as his, and your opinion isn't just opinion, it's based in facts and informed predictions. There would have to be some give and take, but give and take is all about communicating and coming to a mutual agreement, it's the opposite of passiveness and worrying about whether your actions are going to ruin everything simply because they were your actions, no matter whether they're positive or negative. While you're thinking about that, consider too how you would react if your professional opinion wasn't appreciated as it should be in a company. Resentment isn't just something other people feel toward you; you can feel it toward them too. Take a minute to think about all of that, neutrally at first, then more personally, and then tell me what you think".

Speaking firmly and rationally, but kindly too, Doctor Williams looked at JR with an expression as if to indicate that he meant everything he had just said. JR clearly had a lot of conflicting, confusing personal feelings, ones that weren't necessarily directly related to the actual business situation he was in, and to properly deal with his concerns, he really needed to be able to separate the two. A small change in context could be just the tool he needed to assist him, and even if it wasn't, it couldn't do any harm for JR to see his thoughts from a different perspective.

To be continued…


	446. Personal and Professional

**Dallas, Texas**

Sitting silently for a moment, JR considered the situation as it was and then as Doctor Williams had presented it. The man had a point, things were unnecessarily complicated in business because of the personal relationship he and his father had, but by isolating the business issue, they became a whole lot clearer. He was the vice president and future president of Ewing Oil and he had worked his way up to that position, he was an experienced and educated businessman and his judgements were worth something. That being said, his father was also a very experienced businessman and his opinion was worth a lot, but they were in business together and had a similar level of power and responsibility when it came to business decisions. The conversation they had had yesterday was a good start, his father hadn't completely dismissed his opinion, however he had made it known that he thought he knew best, even if JR believed otherwise. Things had to change a little more though, he and his father needed to talk again, this time not as father and son in business together, but as president and vice president; they needed to look at all of the information available to them and make an informed decision, one that had several backup plans. His father had never been a quitter before, in fact, he was part of the reason why JR was so insistent on winning and being the best, but for some unusual reason, in this circumstance he seemed to believe the wider context they were working in had more influence on their success than their own actions did. If JR's predictions were wrong and his father was right about the economy bringing bad times for everyone, meaning that their profits would be nowhere near predicted, even with his plans to attempt to make money in other areas, then so be it, but it was stupid to act as there was nothing they could do about it.

"Fair point. I don't like the use of the word kowtow, it makes me sound weak and I'm not, but I do see your point with the other stuff", breaking the silence, JR nodded at Doctor Williams, looked over at Sue Ellen who was silently observing their interaction and then continued to respond to Doctor Williams' earlier question. "This is business and whether my daddy is my daddy or not is irrelevant when it comes to making business decisions. I don't appreciate the way you say things sometimes, I have no problem telling you that, so I suppose I should do the same when it comes to making a point in business discussions, I am the vice president after all, my opinion does carry some weight. I think I'm already part of the way there in some respects, daddy knows I'm not weak and I'm not easily influenced by other people, that's half the reason why Ewing Oil is so successful, because I get things done, but I suppose I do act differently when I'm around him. I shouldn't allow him to manipulate me into doing things he wants me to do and I shouldn't allow him to override my decisions without real, valid reasons to do so. At the office we should be professional with each other, that means we should be discussing what is best for the company and making those decisions based on the facts and statistics; whether daddy is upset with me for moving out of Southfork, or whether he's the head of the Ewing family is irrelevant. He's my boss and he's my father, but if he was just my boss I probably wouldn't feel half the stress I feel, because a lot of my feelings do come back to worry about my relationship with him as my father and not wanting to be the son that disappoints him. I never want to be regarded in the same way Gary is".

Thinking as he spoke, JR was surprised by some of the things that were coming out of his mouth. It had never occurred to him in such a clear way before, but it seemed obvious now, his father was his weak point and he used that to his advantage. He had been delegated more than his fair share of drudgework and he had had to fight hard and work hard to get to the point he was at now in his professional life, and he didn't mind any of those things because he did genuinely love the oil business, but he didn't appreciate some of his father's actions. If he was capable enough to be trusted to seek, negotiate and organize deals and the running of certain fields on his own, and he had proven many times over that his ideas could and did work, then surely his opinion was worth something and his father should respect that. It was unkind and unfair for Jock to use JR's talents for things that benefited his agenda, but to also discount his opinion when it differed from his. Both JR and Jock had a problem with allowing their personal opinions to influence their actions at work, so they both needed to work on that, but in this instance, if JR's leaving Southfork had any bearing on Jock's attitude toward his professional opinion and plans, then that needed to stop. It wouldn't be easy to change the way their relationship operated at work because it was so natural for them to play the roles of father and son, but in the long run, it was better for them to separate their business and personal lives, or at least establish a higher level of respect in both areas.

Watching as both Sue Ellen and Doctor Williams' expressions changed as he finished speaking, JR knew he had said something they weren't expecting, and when Sue Ellen took his hand and gave him a sympathetic look, he knew what had made them both react that way. There were very few times where he would liken himself to Gary and even now, that's not really what he was doing, but just mentioning the fear of having his relationship with his father resemble anything similar to Jock and Gary's relationship was enough to make Sue Ellen feel for him. Of course, not knowing the entire history of the Ewing family, Doctor Williams' expression was more quizzical than sympathetic, but even without the details, it was obvious that for JR being 'regarded in the same way Gary is' was not a good thing. Sighing, he was a little annoyed that he was going to have to delve into a completely different topic because he couldn't keep his mouth shut and Doctor Williams was nosy, however, as experience had proven to him, sometimes talking about things was actually helpful. Even just the conversation they had been having had been helpful; he would have never thought to separate the business issues he was facing from the personal issues he and his father had, because to him and to his father, they were connected. Having a therapist wasn't something he would publicly advertise, but privately, he couldn't deny that without Doctor Williams interference, he and Sue Ellen would have probably divorced months ago and he would have never truly understood some of his thoughts and reasons for doing things. Because of that, if opening up about his childhood and early adulthood in relation to his brothers was what was necessary for Doctor Williams to assist him, then that's what he would do.

To be continued…


	447. Quality Time

**Dallas, Texas**

Talking to to Muriel and Lisa as they exited the main building after school, Lucy stopped talking for a moment as she noticed the Sue Ellen's car waiting in the parking lot. It wasn't unheard of for Sue Ellen or Bobby to bring her to or collect her from school, but more times than not, that task fell to one of the ranch hands. She didn't mind, she liked the ranch hands, but she couldn't deny she liked it better when one of her family members did it. It was a small thing, though not insignificant as Doctor Lacey had told her, she liked to feel as though she mattered enough to the Ewing family that they would take time out of their 'busy' day to do something for her.

It briefly crossed her mind that maybe Sue Ellen's presence wasn't a good thing, that perhaps she had come to deliver some bad news, however, she rationalised that if that was the case, she would have been pulled out of class earlier, not just left to finish the day as usual. Finishing her conversation and saying goodbye to her friends, she then made her way over to where Sue Ellen was waiting. Reaching the car, she took note of Sue Ellen's facial expression and as she did, let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding; Sue Ellen looked happy and it was clear she was not there as the bearer of bad news.

Waiting patiently in her car, Sue Ellen studied the front of the school building as crowds of students poured out, and when she spotted Lucy looking out and then finding her, she was pleasantly surprised at how happy her niece looked. After her and JR's appointment with Doctor Williams ended, she had driven back to Southfork to collect John Ross from Miss Ellie, and while she hadn't planned on staying for hours, she had done just that. She hadn't quite realised it before, but while she didn't rely on Miss Ellie to be her only friend anymore, she did genuinely miss having someone to casually talk to during the day. As well as that, John Ross and Miss Ellie had a special bond with each other and she saw no reason to end the happy picture as soon as she returned to Southfork.

For the most part, her afternoon at Southfork had been nice, though there was a small part of her conversation with Miss Ellie that had shaken her a little. John Ross' sweet, joyful disposition made it difficult for her to continue feeling melancholic like she had after hearing JR describing his vulnerabilities, however, even his happy, playful mood couldn't completely override negative news. Hearing that Lucy had been feeling a little down recently made her feel selfish and sad; she had just recently had a conversation with her niece where she had promised her everyone loved her and wanted her, but in moving out and making little effort to communicate, she had probably sent the complete opposite message. Discussing it with Miss Ellie, she had managed to make herself feel a little better; she couldn't change the past, but she could change the future; if Lucy honestly wanted a relationship with her, then she would make it happen; she cared and she wanted Lucy to know she cared.

A few minutes later, after getting the casual, general matters out of the way and falling into a comfortable silence as they left the school parking lot, Sue Ellen broke the silence. Focusing on the road, but briefly looking at Lucy, she began to speak, "I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately…" pausing for a moment, she wondered how much to say. "I meant what I said before Christmas, I care and I do believe everyone else cares. It's unfortunate and it's not an excuse, but sometimes there are things in life that get in the way of making that clear. I want to do better though. That's why I'm here now; this afternoon is about you, we can do whatever you want. If you want to go shopping, we'll go shopping; if you want to go riding, we'll go riding; if you want to go and get hot chocolate and just talk, we'll do that; whatever you want to do. John Ross is with your grandma and JR is at work; we have a few hours to spend together today, and we can figure out what you want the future to look like too". Smiling encouragingly at her niece, Sue Ellen then waited for a response.

Considering things for a moment, Lucy's initial annoyance at her grandmother for breaking her trust by obviously letting Sue Ellen know how she felt slowly disappeared as she considered Sue Ellen's words and gesture. She didn't like feeling left out, but it was obvious from Sue Ellen's apology that she hadn't intended for things to happen as they had and she did honestly want things to be different moving forward. Knowing that and knowing her grandmother's revelations were well intentioned, she was able to control her negative emotions and see the positive side of the situation; she couldn't just forget her previous sadness, but she could move past it and focus on the positive future being offered to her.

Nodding to acknowledge and accept Sue Ellen's apology, Lucy then paused for a moment before speaking again, "can we go ice-skating and then get hot chocolate?" She could go shopping or riding anytime, and while she could also go skating with her friends if she wanted to, it wasn't an all-year activity, at least not at the outdoor rink. It was January and still cold, but soon enough it would start to get warm again, so if she wanted to skate, now was the time to do so. Really though, all she wanted to do was spend some time with Sue Ellen. It was strange, because there had been times in the past where she felt as if Sue Ellen was too smothering and controlling, however, for the most part, she really did enjoy and appreciate having another adult female in her life. "Yes, we can do whatever you want", seeing her aunt nod and hearing her confirm the plan, she then smiled to herself; it was nice to feel as though her opinion and her presence was valued; she liked being made to feel special.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: New reviews don't seem to be showing publicly again; I am getting them by email though, so thank you to everyone who has left a review recently :)**


	448. Back to Work

**Dallas, Texas**

Entering the large, open storage and dressing room on Friday morning, Sue Ellen was surprised and thrilled by the scene that greeted her. "Welcome back"; "it's lovely to see you again"; "you look wonderful"; "you should have brought that darling little boy of yours in with you"; listening to the flurry of pleasant comments and observing her former and now current co-workers faces, she couldn't help but grin. It was nice to feel like she had been missed and that her presence now was more than welcome. She had always enjoyed the work she did for the women's charity and she had always enjoyed working with both the other employees and the clients they were assisting. The goal of the charity was to help vulnerable and/or inexperienced women in dressing the part for the working world so that they could better themselves by getting professional jobs, allowing them to earn their own money and become confident and self-sufficient.

Working for a charity of her choosing, one that wasn't associated with the DOA, was liberating and humbling; she was there to put in an honest day's work and she genuinely cared about the cause; it was nothing more and nothing less than that. Here, she was just Sue Ellen, not Mrs JR Ewing or a former Miss Texas; she did her job and her reward for doing so was the pride, happiness and satisfaction she felt when the women she was assisting thanked her for her time, and especially when they returned with news that her efforts had helped them achieve their goal.

Half an hour later, after thanking her co-workers for their warm welcome, catching up with them and where they were at in their lives and showing a few pictures of John Ross, it was time to work. Her primary role within the organization was the position of dresser; she used her fashion-oriented mind to pull pieces and coordinate outfits appropriate for different physical body shapes and sizes, and for different positions women would be interviewing for. The clothes she had available to her to work with were good quality donations from women in a similar social class to her. Most were donated in a self-serving manner, because it did make some women better about high turnover in their wardrobes when they could tell themselves they were helping the less fortunate while also clearing space in their closet. Luckily, there was a huge difference between growing bored with a certain skirt or blouse and there actually being anything wrong the clothes themselves, so no matter why they'd arrived at the charity's premises, the gesture did benefit everyone in the end.

As she had soon found out, picking and matching clothing was really the easy part of Sue Ellen's role. For her personally, it was much more difficult to maintain a professional but empathetic demeanour while listening to the personal stories clients would tell her. She didn't lack empathy, sympathy or professionalism, or creativity, but it was difficult at times to find the right balance between all of them. Hearing deeply personal stories of loss, heartbreak, betrayal and/or vulnerability did emotionally affect her and sometimes all she wanted to do was fix everything. Her job wasn't to be a social worker though, she was 'employed' to be a dresser, an empathetic one, but still, she wasn't trained in problem solving, conflict resolution or psychology. There were many charities and organizations dedicated specifically to healing emotional wounds and building real, marketable skills; she'd had the privilege of working with some of them during her time of dedicated DOA work, so things weren't all bad; it just got to her sometimes, there was often a lot more to the charity's clients than simply seeking fashion advice.

What got to her the most was when she heard stories of vulnerability that even though they weren't directly related to her or her life, she could empathise with. She and JR had moved past their issues, but still, hearing things like, "I was a secretary when I met my husband, but I stopped working after we got married. I can see now that perhaps that wasn't the best decision", and "I had no idea it would be so difficult to pursue a life of my own, away from my parents' home and the cocoon my husband created for us", did bring back a few bad memories. In a way, she was lucky; even after leaving JR, having him cut off her access to their joint bank account and then having to face the reality that returning to modelling was no longer an option for her, she had still found some support in the form of Miss Ellie and to a point, Jock too. It seemed that more often than not, other women weren't quite as connected or lucky as she was, so when it came to dealing with awful events in their lives, the option to hide away in a hotel suite, seek solace in their families and shame their husbands into doing the right thing, simply didn't exist.

Not all cases were that dire though; quite often, some women just needed a small helping hand in re-entering the workforce in a new social climate, because they had taken a long period of leave to raise their children and while they had been busy doing that, society had been busy fighting for women's liberation. Occasionally too, they got clients who were really just young, inexperienced women who needed guidance in choosing how to best present themselves for the roles they wished to obtain. The charity was there for any and all women who needed and wanted assistance, and Sue Ellen genuinely enjoyed being involved in something so personally, socially and emotionally rewarding. She couldn't pretend she hadn't enjoyed being an active member of the DOA, because for a period in her life, it had been a real lifesaver for her sanity and emotional stability, but when compared to this, there was no contest. Her personal circumstances were a factor, she was happier now than she had been in years, but that didn't really change anything dramatically; she liked being involved in something outside of her family and home life; she liked being involved in this activity specifically.

To be continued…


	449. It's Good to Have Options

**Dallas, Texas**

Listening to his father and brother as they had the same conversation they had been having all week, Bobby found his mind wandering. January never had fantastic weather, and ranching was hard work, but lately, he had found himself feeling much more fulfilled and energized on the days he spent at Southfork than he did on the days he was travelling or made an appearance at the Ewing Oil office. The oil industry was exciting and he loved that a lot of the time his work didn't feel like work, because socialising was something he had always done and had always enjoyed, however, lately, things had been different. JR and his father were both strong, opinionated men, and while they were respectful of each other's opinions, they had no problem making it known when they disagreed with something. In this case, he was tired of the discussion; he had heard both sides multiple times and had come to the conclusion that no one could actually predict the future, so all they could do was be as prepared as they could. JR's perspective was based on statistical predictions and an assumption that their proactivity over the past year, both in oil and other areas, would protect them from too much harm. His father on the other hand, seemed more negative about the entire thing; his opinion was also based on statistical predictions, but his numbers were a lot different to JR's because he had factored in 'experience from the US' social and economic past'. Bobby didn't know what to think; both his father and brother had fair points, but the fact of the matter was neither of them could control or completely accurately predict what the future held, so while talking and disagreeing was interesting at first, it was getting repetitive and boring now.

It didn't help either that he wasn't really involved in the running of the business. After graduating college, he had been so sure working at Ewing Oil, in the office with his daddy and brother, was exactly what he was meant to do and exactly what he wanted to do, however, the actual reality of life at the office was nothing like what he had expected. The roles he had played at Ewing Oil when he was a child, teenager and then college student, were quite different to the role he was initially given at the office after graduation. It soon became clear to him that as much as he wanted to and as hard as he worked to achieve what he wanted, it wasn't that easy. JR was sneakier, smarter and more experienced than he was, and his father loved him and wanted nothing more than for him to succeed, but he was a busy, successful man who wasn't used to having to train employees from the very bottom. It was obvious after the initial settling in period that reading and analysing maps and statistics, and preparing successful business plans were not his strengths; luckily though, all hope of success was not lost, because as he was naturally a people person and Ewing Oil needed someone like that. He was sure JR had set him up with the job he had simply because it meant he was out of the office and away from the 'important' decisions and action, however, after all of the things JR had done to sabotage his success, it was the one thing he actually hadn't been angry or upset about.

Things had changed recently though. Where he had previously just done a lot of schmoozing and entertaining to maintain important people's positive opinion of Ewing Oil, there was now more of a hard sell to do. He was perfectly capable of convincing people to see things his way even when they were initially sceptical or less willing to just accept his goodwill because they couldn't make equal promises to return the favour, but in the past, that scenario had been much less common than it was now. His father was right in some aspects, people and companies did seem to have less money to work with and there were things going on in Washington that he couldn't even begin to comprehend, so his job wasn't as simple as making contacts and discussing potential deals anymore.

The positive aspect of the situation they were in was that because he was focused on making and maintaining positive connections, he hadn't had to do anything unsavoury recently; he hadn't really had time and for whatever reason, his father didn't see it as being as important as doing what he had originally been assigned to do. He understood and accepted that sometimes, to get ahead, playing dirty made sense and could be seen as a need, even if they never intended to use the potentially damaging information they collected; he would be glad if he never had to actually deal with that side of business again though. Being sneaky or nasty didn't sit well with him on a personal level and often, his personal opinion influenced into his professional demeanour. JR and his father were similar when it came to business, even if they disagreed at times; he was different, he wasn't totally opposed or disinterested in oil, office work or family business like Gary had been, but he wasn't drawn to Ewing Oil the way his father and brother were.

Working at Southfork ranch was different. He had always loved being out on the ranch; some of his best childhood memories had been when his father had taken he and his brothers camping, and during the summers of his childhood, while he had found it exhilarating going out to visit the oil fields, he had always enjoyed physical ranching more than working at the office. More recently, ranching had given him exactly what he had been looking for; it was physically and mentally rewarding, it was something he was naturally talented at, and his father was proud of him when he achieved new things, things JR hadn't already achieved and set the bar for. He was lucky in that his family did own two completely different businesses and he had two ready-made careers if he wanted them. It had taken him a while and a lot of trial and error, but he knew now he had made the right decision. He liked his job a Ewing Oil and at present, while he was a little frustrated, he was in no hurry to leave, but ranching was in his blood and in his future and he was looking forward to that future.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: No chapter tomorrow. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	450. Dinner Preparation

**Dallas, Texas**

Checking her hair, makeup and outfit one last time, Sue Ellen turned her attention toward her husband. Looking him up and down, she shivered involuntarily; he looked very handsome tonight and she couldn't wait to remind him just how much she enjoyed when he dressed up. They had only been living in their new home for a week, but already they had established a more relaxed evening routine. Cocktails, dinner and couple time still occurred, but it wasn't so rigid and there was no strict dress code when it was just them. Of course, they still made an effort to dressed nicely and look clean and tidy, it was only natural to them to do so, but somehow, it felt different when it was just them. Francisca didn't care what they wore, and Mrs Smith was hardly around anyway, though even when she was, she was more focused on tending to John Ross' needs than analysing clothing choices; the only people they had to 'impress' were each other and that was nice.

Walking over to JR, Sue Ellen leaned up to kiss him softly before speaking, "you look very handsome tonight. I wish our guests weren't scheduled to arrive so soon…" leaving her comment hanging for a moment, she then kissed him again before gently attempting to break away. In the same instance, she found herself surprised, but blissfully happy as he grasped her hand, pulled her back toward him and kissed her passionately before whispering in her ear something akin to her sentiment. Blushing at his very direct wording, she was grateful she had to go and get John Ross before heading downstairs; she and JR were just having fun with each other and no real harm would come from her distracted thoughts, but it was always easier to face her in-laws with a clear head.

Heading down the hallway toward John Ross' bedroom, she was surprised at how good she felt. She and JR had promised months ago and more recently that they wouldn't be strangers to the Ewing family, and honestly, they didn't really want to be either, they just craved a little space to live their own lives. As part of their promise to keep in contact, occasional family meal times seemed like the least they could do, though if they were going to participate, there was no rule that said it had to be at Southfork.

It had been a long time since Sue Ellen had played lead hostess, but two decades of her mother's lessons and almost three years of being Mrs JR Ewing and working with Miss Ellie to plan and host events at Southfork meant her homemaking and hosting skills were still second to none. She was perfectly capable of hosting a dinner party, especially with Francisca to assist her and with her and JR's guests being their family. Meals at Southfork were fairly formal, but that didn't mean they never had a good time or every meal descended into disaster; for the most part, family meals were nice, it was really just the excessive closeness that had turned a nice event into something to dread. If JR's updates about Ewing Oil were anything to go by, things at the office weren't totally calm, but they were a lot better than they had been, so if they could keep the conversation light and keep the drinks flowing, they were on the path toward a successful evening.

Down the road, at Southfork, Jock Ewing poured himself a drink as he waited for the rest of his family to finish getting ready. Their plans for the evening weren't ideal, but they were far from terrible. He didn't like the idea of a family dinner where he wasn't the man of the house, especially since JR had been so vocal about his opinion lately; however, a Ewing family dinner of any sort was better than none at all, so if had to be at JR and Sue Ellen's home instead of Southfork, then so be it.

Upstairs, as she changed from her daywear into a dinner appropriate dress, Miss Ellie's thoughts were a lot more positive than her husbands were. Things were working out ok; JR, Sue Ellen and John Ross moving out of Southfork was not the end of the world; she still got to see her grandson during the week, Sue Ellen still sought out opportunities for them to spend time together and after explaining to Sue Ellen about Lucy's feelings, that entire situation had changed too. The physical distance between their families took a bit of getting used to, but she couldn't deny that it made separating their business and personal lives a whole lot easier.

She could tell her husband wasn't too fond of JR's strong opinions when they differed from his own, however, it didn't strike her as an entirely bad thing that JR was speaking his mind. Sometimes Jock's stubborn bullheadedness wasn't the best approach to situations and even she could see that decisions made weren't always what was best overall; she was just Jock's wife though, she didn't know anything about oil or business, but JR did. JR was set to become the president of Ewing Oil sometime in the next few years, and with Bobby moving into working on the ranch, the future of Ewing Oil, and the main source of income for the Ewing family, would be JR's responsibility. Arguing wasn't good for the family, but openly discussing things, compromising, working together and coming to an understanding about where they stood both personally and professionally, were good things. She would never support JR being rude or disrespectful toward his father, but she didn't get the feeling that that was what was going on now, and if the warmth from Sue Ellen and her and JR's good-natured dinner invitation was anything to go by, whatever was going on at the office was not the end of the world. Even if it didn't seem like it sometimes, there were other things going on in their lives and they did have topics other than money, oil and power to talk about. Tonight was not the time for the men to discuss the same things they did at the office; tonight was time to enjoy being a family; she hoped everyone would remember that.

To be continued…


	451. Family Dinner

**Dallas, Texas**

Taking a sip of his drink, Bobby Ewing silently took in his environment. It was strange to be a guest in a home he had been so familiar with, but that now looked so different to his previous memories. JR and Sue Ellen had certainly redecorated and made the home their own, but in his mind, he could still picture how it used to be. With all of his old memories vivid in his mind, it was difficult to ignore the feelings that came with those memories. The truth was, Jenna had ended their relationship in such an abrupt, strange manner that he had never really been able to move on with his life. He hadn't just stopped living because Jenna had left, he had had a lot of women since then, but he had never really been in a serious relationship and he certainly hadn't come anywhere close to loving anyone else. Because of the lack of closure, to be back in the house where they had had so many good times was confronting, saddening and angering all at the same time. He couldn't really blame JR and Sue Ellen for how he was feeling though, he knew that now; it was their right and probably the right decision for their family to move into a home that was all their own, even if the home they had chosen held special memories for him. The reality of the world was that unless one purchased bare land and built a home from scratch, all homes meant something special to someone, but that alone wasn't enough to stop people from moving on with their lives. His initial annoyance at his brother and sister-in-law's decision had been mostly due to the way he was told, or not told. He would have appreciated a little consideration for his feelings, but he understood now that it wasn't all about him and it only made him look bad if he repeatedly tried to make other people feel guilty about hurting his feelings. His parents had known in advance and while it was clear they weren't entirely happy, they had been able to accept and support the decision, so he really needed to too; it was ok for him to feel the way he did, but it was silly for him to make the entire situation about him when it really wasn't. It hadn't been easy, but he had chosen to accept it and move on, and observing his family as they happily chatted and drank, he knew he had made the right decision.

Across the room, Sue Ellen breathed a sigh of relief as she observed the scene in front of her. She didn't know if Miss Ellie had said something to Jock or whether he had just accepted their decision and adjusted his attitude accordingly; whatever it was though, she was grateful. Hosting the family as guests in her and JR's own home, as opposed to their gathering being a normal family event, was a new situation, one she had actually, surprisingly, been fairly confident about, however, in the back of her mind, she had also been a little nervous; because of that, it pleased her to see everything running so smoothly. As always seemed to happen, the men and women of the family had split into groups during cocktail hour; she didn't mind though, she naturally had more in common with Miss Ellie and Lucy than she did with Bobby and Jock anyway. She didn't know what the men of the family were discussing, and even if it was business or things that could wait until Monday if necessary, she didn't really care, just as long as the conversation was civil. For her, conversing with Miss Ellie and Lucy was so natural and normal now that she didn't even find the lulls in conversation awkward. So far, everything was going well; for that, she was grateful.

Twenty minutes later, as cocktail hour wound down and Francisca appeared in the doorway to announce dinner was ready to be served, Miss Ellie glanced over at her husband, sons and grandson and breathed a sigh of relief of her own. Jock had grumbled about having to go afield to see his own family, however, she could see now that even he wasn't having a bad time. It warmed her heart too to see that while he had claimed many times he didn't really know how to deal with children as young as John Ross and was waiting until he was a little older to really get involved, he was perfectly capable and actually excited to be around him now when the occasion wasn't so ordinary anymore. It still wasn't enough, he really should do more with his grandson, the child he had raised to godlike status prior to conception, during gestation and after his birth, however, holding him, talking to him and attempting to play with him was a start and she was pleased to see him making an effort. She would have to have a word with him about increasing that effort in the future, especially since John Ross no longer lived in the same house as them, however, for now, she was satisfied.

As they sat down in the dining room for dinner, it became clear to Miss Ellie that Sue Ellen had had much better luck than she had in the past when it came to hiring a housekeeper who could cook. Not only were the hors d'oeuvres Francisca had handed around earlier absolutely delicious, and the smell of the dinner she had cooked mouth-watering, the food on the table looked delectable and she had a very strong feeling it tasted that way too. Unfortunately, although the food looked scrumptious, the atmosphere was calm and happy and the evening appeared to be going well, it seemed that nothing was ever quite that simple. Hearing the phone ringing and watching Francisca as she hurriedly walked over to answer it, Miss Ellie, and everyone else at the table, immediately knew something was not right. It was impolite to call during meal times, everyone knew that, and since JR and Sue Ellen's phone had only recently been connected, very few people had the number; it seemed obvious that whoever was calling had to have a good reason for doing so, and if Francisca's facial expression was anything to go by, that assumption was absolutely correct.

To be continued…


	452. Tragedy?

**Austin, Texas**

Anxiously tapping his foot on the hospital waiting room floor and holding his wife's hand, JR's thoughts were a blur. The past two and a half hours had been both distressing and exasperating. First, someone from a hospital in Austin had called to inform Sue Ellen that her mother had been in an automobile accident, though information relating to what had actually happened and/or how badly injured she was didn't seem to be available at the time. After hanging up and hurriedly relaying the scarce amount of information to the family, Sue Ellen had then looked at him as if he had all the answers, which he didn't, even if he wished he did. He did have the next best thing though, access to a private plane that could be ready for them that evening. Shortly afterward, they had ending their dinner party and driven straight to their airport, leaving John Ross in the care of his grandmother and baby nurse. An hour and a bit later, after a long, tearful flight, they had arrived in Austin and made their way to the hospital, though in some ways, they may as well have been back home, because the nurses didn't seem to have any more information now than they had earlier.

The whole situation was maddening and saddening; Sue Ellen didn't like her mother a lot of the time, but she did love her and they had been making an effort to improve their relationship, so she was upset not only by the thought of her being injured and vulnerable, but by the thought that she could lose her too. The maddening part of the whole situation was the slow relaying of information, or even perhaps the slow attendance to injuries; JR had experienced it when Sue Ellen had been in a car accident a couple of years ago and he was experiencing it again now. It wasn't really up to him to make a huge fuss though, he was a businessman, not a doctor, and no matter how much he tried to buy answers or extra attention, in the hospital, his name and status meant almost nothing. The highly qualified staff had assessed Patricia's injuries and she would be seen in due course; he and Sue Ellen would eventually be given an update too, they just had to wait, exactly like everyone else in the waiting room.

After what felt like much longer, but was in reality probably only about half an hour, Sue Ellen's shallow breathing and light sobbing evened out, and as a result, so did a little bit of JR's anxiousness. Neither of them was completely calm though, it was hard to relax when so much was still up in the air. JR didn't like Patricia very much, but he didn't want her to die and he certainly didn't want Sue Ellen to feel any sort of guilt about not doing or being enough if her mother did die earlier than anyone expected. He was protective of his wife, he knew one of the worst things for her personal progress and sanity would be to be left with unresolved situations and feelings. Reverting to her previous frame of mind would be a disaster for everyone involved. He hated how useless he was in the current situation too; as much as he wanted to change things, he couldn't; he wasn't a miracle worker or doctor and his money, name and status meant nothing here; all he could do was offer his wife a shoulder to cry on.

A little while later, after the swinging doors opened and a nurse finally appeared with some news, both JR and Sue Ellen were reminded why they had such mixed feelings about Patricia as a person and why their relationship wasn't a closer one. It was a blur for Sue Ellen, she heard the nurse speaking and she knew she was probably being as clear as she could with the information she had available to her, however, in her mind, something seemed off. "…minor car accident… shaken… in good spirits… broken wrist… may need familial support… asking to see Mrs Ewing alone first…" she couldn't put her finger on what it was, but knowing her mother, it was something. She would know better when she saw her with her own eyes and assessed her condition herself, but just hearing the nurse's words made her feel strange. For JR, there was something odd about the whole thing too. He and Patricia weren't close and he understood why she wouldn't necessarily want to see him right now, he had been the same way about other people visiting Sue Ellen and John Ross in the hospital right after Sue Ellen had given birth. There was something about the whole situation that made him feel uneasy though; something in the way the nurse spoke and the way Sue Ellen gripped his hand, even after hearing her mother was in good health. He could feel it; he didn't know what it was, but he knew this wasn't just a normal medical situation.

A little while later, after stepping back and complying with Patricia's request to see Sue Ellen alone, JR's thoughts were confirmed. In stark contrast to how she had felt as she entered, Sue Ellen had left her mother's hospital room both flustered and annoyed, and now, pacing up and down the hospital hallway, JR was finding out exactly why. "I'm mad at myself. I don't even know why I even bothered shedding a tear. The doctors didn't seem very concerned about her health at all, and from what I've been told, for all intents and purposes, she is absolutely fine, or, she will be in about six weeks. She has a broken wrist and some cuts and bruises, but the cuts and bruises really aren't that bad, and since she broke her left wrist and she's right handed, she'll still be able to do almost everything she currently does. You should have seen her in there though, I knew the moment I walked in that she was absolutely fine, she's being her usual, overdramatic self. She was talking about suing the other driver, never mind that she has very good insurance and she's nowhere near permanently injured or traumatised. Do you want to know the worst part though? That wanting to see me alone request had nothing to do with me just being her daughter and everything to do with me being the one of us that's easier to manipulate. I'm sure the moment she found out she was fine, a lightbulb went off in her head, because I can guarantee you she's already planning how she can make this work for her. I have a very strong feeling that in the next day or so, we're going to be hearing a speech about how although she's mostly fit and healthy, it would be best for her recovery if she came to Dallas for a little while…"

Hearing the anger in Sue Ellen's voice and seeing the frustration and disappointment on her face, JR mentally cursed Patricia. Even when she was injured and vulnerable, and she had Sue Ellen's emotional concern and support without even having to ask for it, she was still scheming and manipulating things in order to gain more. It was never enough that Sue Ellen was there for her, loved her and would have probably offered some kind of assistance if the genuine need was there; for Patricia, she had to take things one step further. Being presumptuous and manipulative was her natural state, even if it didn't have to be. He didn't know what to do about the situation; he wished it was as easy as just cutting her out of their lives, but it always seemed that it wasn't. What he really wanted, for Sue Ellen, was for her mother to change, unfortunately though, change took commitment and willpower and as much as he wanted to, he couldn't force personal situations like he could business ones. Sue Ellen would have to speak to her mother again and she would have to decide what she wanted their future to look like; he knew now he couldn't be the one to make that decision; it had to come from Sue Ellen, no matter how difficult it was. It was a complicated situation, he could tell Sue Ellen wanted to have a good, honest relationship with her mother, unfortunately though, Patricia really didn't make it easy.

To be continued…


	453. Emotional Manipulation

**Austin, Texas**

"Oh Sue Ellen, it was so frightening. You know, it's true what they say; when you're on the verge of death, your life and everything that's truly important flashes before your eyes. The things I saw and felt when that car came hurtling toward me and then so violently smashed into my car; I thought I was going to die. I thought I was never going to see my family again…" speaking in an overly dramatic tone, Patricia recounted the previous night's events once again. She was lucky, she hadn't been seriously injured and would be back to full health within a couple of months, and she had reasonable insurance, so she wouldn't be left with any huge debts to pay from medical expenses or car repairs. Knowing she was fortunate and actually acting grateful for that good fortune were two different things though, especially in the presence of her daughter and son-in-law.

She knew she would be pushing her luck and her plans would be much harder to complete if she plainly announced her intent to leave Austin and relocate to Dallas, but in her mind, it made sense that if her decision was seen to be made during a time of personal distress and reflection, Sue Ellen may be more sympathetic. JR would be a lot more difficult to convince; he was sceptical of her motives and after years of bargaining and trying to please her, he had finally snapped out of his uncharacteristic people-pleasing mentality and behaviour and told her no more. No matter her daughter and son-in-law's opinions though, she would still do what she wanted, which in this case, was to leave Austin and take up residence in another part of the state, preferably Dallas.

She was sick of living in Austin, she had lived there her entire life and she had seen and done just about everything the city had to offer; she was ready for a change. A new city offered new people and experiences; she needed some of those, because in relation to the men of Austin, she had mixed and mingled with nearly all of the wealthy, eligible ones she could get an introduction to, and for one reason or another, they had all been eliminated from her list of potential husbands. In relation to other aspects of her life, with Sue Ellen now living in Dallas and Kristin off at school in New Hampshire, the only things she really occupied her time with now had to do with her friends, her social clubs, her work and her home. She did a small amount of administrative work at a local bank in order to stay financially afloat now that JR was no longer giving her any financial help and neither Sue Ellen nor Kristin were bringing in any prize money from pageants or modelling contests. After years of scrimping and saving to support the lifestyle she encouraged Sue Ellen and Kristin to participate in, she was fairly good at stretching a dollar, however, that didn't mean she wanted to do so for the rest of her life. To other people in similar situations to her, her financial circumstances weren't so bad, but to her personally, it was fairly depressing; she didn't enjoy being thrifty or feeling middle class, she wanted to be a wealthy woman and she was actively doing what she thought would propel her toward a new life. She liked her friends, her social clubs and her home, but if finding a wealthy man to make her husband meant she had to move away from Austin, and in the process, make new friends and purchase a new home, then so be it. Personal sacrifices would be difficult in the short-term, but in the end, they would be worth it, or at least that's what she told herself.

She was determined to make headway and achieve something in the future, but her plans would be a lot easier if she had Sue Ellen and JR's support. She wanted to be free to see her grandson without having to book a time with Sue Ellen weeks in advance, and she wanted to be free to live her life and pursue networking activities without JR sabotaging her efforts with men in his social and business circles. She was realistic in her expectations though, she knew neither JR nor Sue Ellen would probably be very enthusiastic about her move; they seemed to enjoy the distance between Dallas and Austin a little too much. Because of her expectation of a negative reaction, it seemed like a good idea to her to elicit sympathy before telling them her plans; surely they couldn't deny her access to a little familial support while she was recovering from her accident, and surely, after having her around for a little while, they would see a different side of her.

She did enjoy being a grandmother and she knew if given the opportunity, she and her eldest daughter may be able to work on their strained relationship. Things were different now that Sue Ellen was a wife and mother, she wasn't a teenager or unmarried young woman anymore, she didn't need the same kind of guidance, guardianship or strict mothering; it was a difficult thing for her to accept sometimes, but she couldn't deny it was true. She had many motives for wanting to leave Austin and relocate to Dallas, and some of them were selfish, but others were selfless; there was nothing wrong with wanting to be a mother and grandmother as well as wife, they didn't necessarily have to be related to each other. She wouldn't explain all of her thoughts and feelings to Sue Ellen, because she feared she would receive some judgement and negativity in return, however, if her daughter did ask, she would gladly explain a select few reasons behind her plans. For now though, her long-term plans were still a secret; in the short-term, all she wanted was a little sympathy and an invitation to recuperate from her physical injuries and emotional trauma away from the location where they occurred.

To be continued…


	454. Desperately Seeking Sympathy

**Austin, Texas**

Raising an eyebrow and shaking her head lightly, Sue Ellen shot JR a knowing look as her mother spoke. She had predicted her mother would have a sympathy-seeking speech prepared and she had been completely right; now all she was waiting to hear was the expected request for some kind of compensation or offering of goodwill from them to help heal her pain. They didn't owe her anything, they had been more than generous toward her in the past and they bore no responsibility for the current situation, however, despite those two truths, there was no doubt in her mind her mother would see things differently.

Knowing the way her mother operated, she knew she had to act quickly and offer an alternative to what she was sure her mother would ask for, before she actually asked for it. It wasn't necessarily fair that she had to offer anything, but it was nice to show she did love her mother and in the long run, it would benefit their relationship. As long as Kristin was still a child and as long as her mother was still alive, they would always have some interaction with each other and if there were steps she could take to ensure that interaction was as calm and cordial, then she would. "Oh mother, I understand. I remember after the accident Miss Ellie and I were in, I woke up in the hospital so confused and distressed. The most important thing to think about now though is that you didn't die and you aren't seriously injured; your life is still here for you to live. You can still see your family; Kristin will be coming home for the long weekend in a few weeks, and I'm sure once I get back to Dallas and look at my calendar, I'll be able to give you a better idea of when you can see John Ross again. Life isn't bad, remember that. You have your bridge club, your book club and all the people and events you're always updating me on when you visit. You had a car accident, it's scary, I completely understand that, but the truly important thing to take away from the experience now that you are ok is that you have a life to live and you should live it". She knew she wasn't exactly shutting down what she assumed to be her mother's plan to ask for either financial assistance or some kind of extra visitation, but she had her reasons for why she said what she said. She wasn't stupid, she knew if she openly told her mother she wasn't going to get something, it would cause a scene and turn into something much bigger and more dramatic than it needed to be, but if she validated her mother's feelings and then redirected her thoughts toward other things, she may save herself from an argument.

"Oh good, I'm so glad you agree…", listening as her mother began to respond, Sue Ellen suddenly knew she should have been a little more specific about what she meant, because her mother was known for taking advantage of opportunities that would benefit her. "…family really is so important. This accident has shaken me, I could have died and left so many things in my life unresolved. I could have left this earth without having had the pleasure of seeing John Ross grow up to follow in his daddy's footsteps; I could have died before seeing Kristin transform into a young lady, then a wife and mother, like you are. There is something about having a near-death experience that really puts everything in context…" listening as her mother continued, Sue Ellen knew exactly where the conversation was heading, though for some reason, she felt powerless to stop it. In a strange way, she believed her mother; she was being overly dramatic, she had broken her wrist, she hadn't been anywhere near death, but from the things she mentioned, she did believe there was a small amount of genuine emotion behind her words. Of course, with her mother, nothing was ever that simple; there was no way that seeing Kristin and John Ross grow older were the only things she was looking forward to in the future; they did sound like good, selfless, loving wants though.

"…I'm sure you understand some of my other feelings too. I don't know how long it took you to start driving again after your accident, but even with my physical restrictions right now with this broken wrist, just the thought of driving is near terrifying; especially the thought of driving on the same street where the crash occurred. I don't think I'll feel this way forever, but right now, the feelings I've had during this traumatic experience are still fresh in my mind…" Continuing to listen to her mother, Sue Ellen couldn't quite figure out a way to stop the conversation before it moved past the point of no return; her mother was specifically wording things with the intention of appealing to her empathetic side, and it was working. She empathised with the feelings of shock and physical pain that came with a car accident, she herself had spent the week after her accident recovering at Southfork with JR, Miss Ellie and Teresa all tending to her needs, but selfishly, she didn't really want to volunteer to do the same for her mother. She couldn't really think of any real excuse to use if/when her mother did ask to spend a little time away from Austin though, apart from, of course, that her mother hadn't exactly been present during her time of need. She wasn't too sure how much her mother had actually known about her accident though; JR knew how she felt about her and she knew how protective he had been during that time. She felt blessed to have had familial support, and she felt exceptionally blessed to know during the good period that had followed her accident, she and JR had conceived John Ross, however, although she had had a positive recovery experience, she couldn't quite bring herself to selflessly offer to give the same attention to her mother. Unfortunately, as her mother continued to speak, any possibility of her steering the conversation away from the possibility of a short break from Austin was lost.

"…I was thinking, I'm not going to be able to work, I can't type with a broken wrist, and by the time I can, I don't know whether I'll even have a job… I'll have to have a look at my contract again. For now though, with things as they are, I think I need a little time away from here; I need a little time to recover, physically and emotionally. I think Dallas would be the perfect location for me to do so. I really do miss seeing you and John Ross, this accident has made me realise that and has made me realise I should make more of an effort than I currently do. Being a mother and grandmother isn't something I should take for granted, neither is being alive…" As she listened to her mother speaking, Sue Ellen didn't know how to react. Her mother could stay with them for a couple of days if she really wanted to, some of what she said she wanted did make sense, it probably was time for them to spend a little time together again, but that didn't mean she wanted to.

Turning her attention toward her husband, Sue Ellen shot him a pleading look, though from the look he gave her in return, she wasn't so sure he understood exactly what she wanted. She understood his confusion, she had mixed feelings, so her expression was probably unclear; it was at times like these that she wished that amongst the many modelling classes she'd taken, she would have also taken a few acting classes.

JR had been silent throughout the entire conversation out of both courtesy to their mother-daughter relationship and plain unsureness about what his role was; she hadn't minded though, she understood why he was standing back, she often did the same when he and Jock were speaking, but right now, she wished he would say something. She didn't want to be the 'bad guy', but she also didn't want her mother to make herself too comfortable in their lives. For JR to be the one to respond to her mother and make their feelings clear made complete sense to her, especially since her mother already didn't particularly like JR, he had nothing to lose. Glancing between her mother and her husband, Sue Ellen let out a small sigh of relief when JR cleared his throat. She didn't know what he was going to say, but she hoped he had some understanding of how she felt and knew she wanted him to use his business expertise to word their offer in such a way that it was not open-ended. Her mother was welcome to stay with them for a few days, perhaps even a week, she was probably due for a visit anyway, but when they said a few days, they meant it; a few days was not a few weeks, months, or permanently; a few days was exactly that, a few days. Hopefully JR could convey that message in a way that sounded more like them being generous and loving than nasty or obstinate.

To be continued…


	455. Three Sides to Every Story

**Austin, Texas**

Listening to his wife and mother-in-law's conversation, JR couldn't deny he was momentarily convinced that perhaps Patricia had had an epiphany, did want to change the way she lived, and was honestly just seeking a little bit of familial comfort, however, after a few moments, he also remember who he was dealing with. Patricia was dramatic, it was part of her personality, even in everyday life when she didn't have any ulterior motives, but when she did have ulterior motives, she wasn't only dramatic, she was also manipulative and often used her talent for exaggerating things to make other people feel guilty. He liked to think of himself as a strong man, but after seeing how much his father controlled his actions and how much influence Patricia still managed to have when it came to Sue Ellen, he knew he wasn't quite as powerful and in control as he had thought, even if both he and Sue Ellen tried hard to be.

Seeing the way Sue Ellen was looking at him, he knew something had to change; she appeared to be confused and conflicted and that wasn't right. From what he could work out from her facial expression, she was torn between feeling guilty, sympathetic and obligated to be a good daughter, and feeling annoyed, used and generally tired of the way her relationship with her mother worked. She obviously loved her mother and in her heart, she wanted them to have a good relationship, but the way their relationship was, it wasn't very often that they just spent time together, without reason or expectation of some kind of benefit for doing so.

Sue Ellen looked as if she wanted to say yes to her mother, but she also knew what saying yes actually meant, especially if her mother was 'injured'. His wife wasn't stupid, just the previous evening, after first seeing and speaking to her mother, she had predicted exactly what was currently happening, and she had not been happy about it. When she was away from her mother, Sue Ellen could very clearly see how things worked and she was very clear about what she did and did not want, however, when she was actually in her mother's presence, things changed a little. If she couldn't bring herself to tell her mother how she felt, then it was up to him, because it was no use to anyone to keep pretending everything was completely fine.

If Patricia wanted something more from them than to see her daughter and grandson, then she would have to ask for it, and if she did, he knew Sue Ellen would not be happy. Sue Ellen knew her mother had a manipulative side to her, and she knew she wasn't happy to just live the life she had and was always scheming to obtain more, but time and time again, she was disappointed when it became clear things hadn't really changed. To find out her mother wanted nothing more from her than to live the good life in Dallas for a little while, would crush her, even if she already knew it was probably somewhat true. JR didn't doubt Patricia loved John Ross and Sue Ellen, but there was absolutely no way she was only seeking a better personal relationship with them; she wanted money and status, it wasn't a secret, but it was an uncomfortable truth to acknowledge sometimes.

Looking back and forth between Sue Ellen and Patricia, JR didn't really know what to do or say. Sue Ellen clearly wanted him to answer her mother's request for him, however, he knew that with the sympathy and small amount of empathy she did feel for her mother at the moment, he had to be tactful. He couldn't allow Patricia to keep calling the shots in their interactions, it was silly and unhelpful, but at the same time, to be unnecessarily harsh toward Patricia, especially when she was down, would upset Sue Ellen, even if it was probably exactly what Patricia needed to hear.

Considering the situation, he was glad to have a few options to choose from. If Patricia wanted to see her grandson, then she was allowed to, that wasn't an issue, as long as she was respectful of his and Sue Ellen's parenting decisions, which after the last couple of visits and Sue Ellen's words with her about criticism, he believed she would be. He had to set all boundaries about everything else before they even thought about leaving Austin though; he could not and would not have her arriving in Dallas mistaken about her rights and privileges and without any return ticket. Alternatively, if he ignored Sue Ellen's present sympathetic attitude toward her mother's feelings and only took into account all of their history, he had good reason to tell her no now, and in the end, even if it came after a little bit of annoyance, Sue Ellen would thank him. Whatever he chose to do though, he knew questioning Patricia's newfound want for familial closeness was something that had to be done, because entering into an agreement with unclear terms was a disaster waiting to happen.

In the back of his mind, JR knew he had other options too; he could always attempt to call Patricia's bluff by offering her something more lucrative than a week in Dallas, perhaps a week at a health spa and a small payment to assist her in her time of hardship. If she took that option, it would be very clear that money and nice things was more important to her than family. It would probably deeply upset Sue Elle though, not only because she would see her mother for who she was, but also because Patricia would probably say a number of nasty things to them if she was caught out, and Sue Ellen didn't need to hear those things, she'd heard enough negative comments from her mother to last a lifetime. For now, he would offer what he felt comfortable with and what he thought Sue Ellen wanted, but if Patricia wanted anything to happen, she would have to understand it was on their terms.

Clearing his throat, JR couldn't help but grin at the slight shock on his mother-in-law's face; she had directed her request at Sue Ellen and expected Sue Ellen to respond, but she wasn't, he was, and he had no intention of just allowing her to make the decisions and get everything she wanted. Before they made any final decision, he would have to speak to Sue Ellen privately; they had to be on the same page when they returned to Dallas, with or without Patricia, preferably without if he had his way. For now though, before they got anywhere near making or not making any offers, it was time for a few home truths.

To be continued…


	456. Conflict

**Austin, Texas**

Attempting to mask his grin and remain somewhat stern looking, for the sake of being taken seriously and for the sake of not starting an argument with Patricia over something stupid like his enjoyment of finally getting to say what Sue Ellen was too polite to, JR began to speak. "Patricia, while we appreciate your apparent epiphany, and we sympathise and I suppose even empathise with your current health condition, I do have to say, I don't entirely believe everything you're saying and if history is anything to go by, I'm right to question things. I'm not saying you're lying or that you don't care about your family, but I don't believe you've just suddenly decided Sue Ellen, Kristin and John Ross are the number one priorities in your life again. I think underneath all the regretful words, you are the same person you have always been and if this were a couple of years ago, you would have already proposed a deal for financial compensation. In fact, your suggestion that Austin isn't the right place for you right now seems to me to be a watered down version of a request for financial compensation. I think the sneaky, manipulative side of you is still very much present; you just try harder to hide it now because you know we don't like it".

Pausing for a moment to gauge how far he could push things before Patricia decided to fight back, JR was pleasantly surprised to see her stunned look on his mother-in-law's face hadn't changed. She had been surprised he had finally chosen to speak after staying silent for so long during the earlier conversation, and it appeared that that surprise had not turned into anger or annoyance just yet. He didn't doubt the change was coming though, it always did when Patricia didn't get her way. She considered the way other people treated her to be unfair and because of that, she had mastered the art of twisting reality to accommodate her wants and needs, and that often meant making a fuss until it was just easier for the other person to give her what she wanted than for them to keep arguing with her. He himself had fallen into her trap many times before, he wouldn't deny it, sometimes it was just easier to throw money at problems or give in to requests than it was to put energy into arguing for no reward, but this was different. Sue Ellen had predicted what would happen and it had turned into a reality; it was time someone questioned Patricia's words and handed some responsibility back to her. No one was trying to take away the privilege of seeing her family; she just needed reminding that it was a privilege, not a right.

In the midst of his pause, the change he had predicted began. Seeing the way Patricia's expression moved from shock to rage, JR held up a hand in an attempt to silence her before she even began to speak. She was clearly offended and angry at being spoken to as he just had, especially when she had been trying so hard to appear needy and regretful, but someone needed to say it. "Now, before you get angry and say something you'll regret, I will give you credit where it's due. It is very admirable to want to be more personally involved in family life than you currently are, so if what you say is true, then I am sure Sue Ellen, Kristin and John Ross will thank you later. That being said though, based on the past, your idea of involved differs greatly from what we want and will accept. Being involved doesn't mean taking over, ignoring all set rules and routines, criticising everything we do or say, and making everyone else feel inferior, but it also doesn't mean disappearing without so much as a phone call to check in on your grandson's progress or Sue Ellen's life for weeks at a time…" Shaking his head lightly as he mentally compared the relationship Sue Ellen and John Ross had with his mother versus the relationship they had with Patricia, he paused again for a moment, though he wished he hadn't, because the small break in the conversation appeared to be exactly what Patricia was looking for.

Subconsciously stepping back a little as JR began to speak, Sue Ellen couldn't help but be annoyed with herself; surely she was strong enough to speak to her own mother? It had been years now since she had been a young woman under her mother's 'supervision' and she had thought she had really grown over the past year when it came to her personal responsibility and assertiveness, but at the moment, she sure didn't feel like she had. She and her mother had been talking just fine earlier, but the minute it came to discussing something more difficult, something she didn't really want to agree to but also didn't want to appear to be the one to blame for, she froze. The worst part of the situation she was in now had to be watching the entire thing unfolding. She was pleased that JR had said something, even if it was perhaps worded more harshly than she herself would have said it, but if the way her mother's facial expression had changed was anything to go by, the confrontation she hadn't wanted to be involved in was going to happen anyway.

Letting out a loud gasp, Patricia glared at her son-in-law and daughter before speaking, "Sue Ellen, are you really going to allow your husband to speak to me in such a rude, disrespectful manner!?" Glaring at her daughter expectantly, she waited for an answer. She couldn't deny that JR had a point; her intentions weren't quite as pure as she had attempted to make them seem, however, for him to actually say so, and for Sue Ellen to say nothing was shocking and hurtful. What would it take for her to get what she deserved? Why did she always have to prove herself worthy before she was given anything? How did her former agreement and understanding with JR Ewing turn into this? She was angry and annoyed, but most of all, she was upset. Raising two children practically alone was not easy; being on her own now was not easy; and recovering from a traumatic experience like a car accident was not easy; all she wanted was a little sympathy and goodwill from her daughter and son-in-law, but apparently she didn't deserve that. It wasn't fair; Sue Ellen was her daughter and John Ross was her grandson, and while she wasn't responsible for everything, there was no way anyone could deny that neither of them would have been in exactly the place in their lives without her involvement. A little bit of kindness and contact was the least Sue Ellen could offer her, especially after everything she had done for her in the past.

Jumping as her mother shouted at her, Sue Ellen then nervously fidgeted with her bracelet and looked back and forth between her mother and JR. It was stupid for her to feel so shaky and anxious about speaking to her mother, especially since she had long ago established that she was her own person and had thoughts and opinions of her own, and months ago she had told her mother exactly that. Unfortunately, although months ago she and her mother had discussed and agreed on boundaries and acceptable behaviours and had agreed that they both wanted to try to make things different, she didn't enjoy what that meant in reality and she hated the way her mother treated her when things didn't go exactly as she had planned.

The truth was, in theory, she wanted to have a good, close relationship with her mother, but in reality, that would probably never happen, because her mother was manipulative and entitled and saw nothing wrong with the way she acted, but she did, and that disconnect caused a lot of issues between them. It wasn't enjoyable to be criticised or used and she had no desire to make an effort and offer her mother nice things if there was little compromise or change. It was complicated and confusing though, because she did want John Ross to be able to have a relationship with his grandmother and she did want to be able to look back at her life and have some good memories with her mother. Things had to change if she wanted that to happen, but she didn't know how to make that change happen, because she had given her mother many opportunities to act differently, but time and time again, the same things kept happening. To be shouted at for not simply accepting her mother's proposal, and for JR having voiced some valid concerns, was unpleasant and not something she wanted to experience often, if at all. Unfortunately, her mother looked as if she were expecting an answer, and it would be wrong to just walk away, so although she didn't want to engage in a negative conversation, she did anyway.

"Yes mother, I am. JR is my husband and you yourself taught me that a good wife always listens to her husband and supports his choices, even if they aren't the ones she would personally make. With that in mind, while JR may not have said things in the way I would have, I do have to agree with his opinion; I do think you are being manipulative right now. I don't doubt your love for me, John Ross or Kristin, and I don't doubt you were very upset and shaken by the car accident, but I also think you're deliberately putting me in an uncomfortable position in hopes of getting me to agree to something you want just because you know I don't like or usually engage in confrontation…" Feeling exceptionally nervous as she began to speak, Sue Ellen was surprised by what she heard coming out of her mouth; she sounded confident, even if she didn't feel it. It was upsetting to argue with her mother, or anyone really, however, sometimes certain things needed to be said and people were bound to get upset. She hoped speaking her mind would benefit her in the long run, however, at present, from the look her mother was giving her and the way she felt inside, she wasn't so sure responding to her mother's angry words had been such a good decision.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Sorry about the lack of consistent updates, sometimes things get unexpectedly busy. Thanks for reading :)**


	457. Home Truths

**Austin, Texas**

"How dare you speak to me like that!? I may have taught you to respect and obey your husband, but I know for a fact that that lesson was never taught in such a way that implied that respect should come at the expense of your mother. Don't you dare forget your roots; you wouldn't be in the position you are now without me and I think that deserves a lot more respect than it's getting right now". Glaring at her daughter, Patricia Shepard's anger grew; she had raised her daughters almost completely alone and had had to make a lot of sacrifices to get them to where they were now. Kristin seemed to understand how hard she worked, however, Sue Ellen often seemed ungrateful and unwilling to accept that she wasn't a self-made woman. Without the pageants, modelling, etiquette lessons, social opportunities and strict life guidance she had made sure she had, Sue Ellen would probably have never even made it to college let alone become Miss Texas and Mrs JR Ewing. She would do well to remember her past and how it led her to the present, and it would be nice if every once in a while, she thanked those who guided her toward the life she had now; it wasn't difficult, she was just stubborn.

"My roots? Mother, I understand that I wouldn't be where I am today without you, but that doesn't mean I have to appreciate or respect the methods you used to get me here. You manipulated and controlled me and everything in my life to the point where I needed professional help just to be able to feel good about myself as an individual, separate from my identity as your daughter, JR's wife, John Ross' mother or a former Miss Texas. If you really want to be thanked though, thank you for all of the things you did to get me here, because I am happy now, so it did all work out in the end. Just as much as this worked out though, I still believe that I would have been happy with the life you so desperately didn't want me to have. Before I met JR, I thought I was in love, I know now I wasn't, but I genuinely believe that if it wasn't Clint, it would have been someone else and whether that someone else was a wealthy man or a regular, middle class man, doesn't matter to me. I was happy with what I had; you were the one who wasn't happy; you were the one who was never satisfied with just achieving something and celebrating it; there always had to me more, something bigger to aspire to; that was hard and really damaged me".

"Being Miss Texas wasn't enough, I had to be Miss America; I was devastated when I didn't win, not only because I wanted it so much, but because I was afraid of what would happen to me once I had to give my crown back; and guess what? Exactly what I thought would happen did happen. I lost my modelling contract, I wasn't Miss Texas or Miss America, and I was a college graduate who had no real skills or aspirations other than to be anything but a wife, mother and wealthy society woman. Those few months were rough, I know I can't blame you for them, they weren't your fault, however, the thoughts that went through my mind at that point were all directly influenced by my upbringing. Luckily, I did eventually get back on the path I had been taught was the one to follow; I did marry JR and become the wealthy society woman you'd always wanted me to be, however, I couldn't help but feel as if I were disappointing everyone when the next task I was 'supposed' to do didn't just happen. It took me over a year to get pregnant and every day of my marriage prior to hearing Doctor Danvers tell me I had managed to conceive was a painful day; I was so afraid of disappointing everyone and failing at the one task that I had been assigned. Then after that, as I think it should be obvious by now, just achieving something was never enough for you, and in this case, for anyone; I was pregnant, but I was horribly anxious about the possibility of not being pregnant with the 'correct' sex, namely, a male child"

"Now, before you say anything, just hear me out; I know none of those things were your fault per se. You didn't force me to have certain thoughts or feelings, and you didn't force me to act in any specific way, especially after marriage, however, after many sessions with Doctor Williams, I can honestly say, a majority of my thoughts and actions are influenced by the way you raised me. I fear disappointing people, I fear judgement, I fear being reprimanded for my mistakes, and I fear the unknown aspect of our relationship. It took me a long time to do the things I want to do, even if some of those things are risky; and it took me a long time and a lot of hard work to realise that I am more than a pawn for other people to use for their own gain. I am allowed to make my own choices, I am allowed to have my own likes and dislikes, and I am allowed to speak my mind if I wish to".

"In this case, I agree with JR; I wish things were different, and I think I try very hard to make them different, but somehow, everything is always the same. Just once, I would like for us to be able to have a conversation and perhaps even a whole visit with each other where there is no ulterior motive present. I don't want to feel like my tears and sympathy were all for nothing; I don't want to feel like a fool for thinking you've changed when you really haven't, and I don't want to be shouted at for saying so".

"I was in tears last night when I heard you had been in an accident, and you have no idea how relieved I was when I found out you weren't dead or close to death. I love you and I would never wish you harm; I do wish sometimes you would just accept what you have though, even if it isn't exactly what you want. From the minute I walked in here last night and from the minute JR and I returned today, all you've really done is speak emotively and while I don't doubt this was a scary experience for you and perhaps your perspective on life has changed, I'm not entirely convinced that's all it is. I was prepared earlier to give you the chance you asked for; I was prepared to invite you to Dallas for a period to recover, just like you suggested; I'm really not so sure that was a good idea now though. I looked to JR to answer your request earlier because I know that if I did it by myself, you would somehow manage to talk your way into our lives in a much more intrusive and overpowering manner than what is good for anyone. You may see it as unfair, but I see it as being realistic. Tell me honestly that in asking to come to Dallas and expressing how much you miss your family, you weren't trying to manipulate my emotions for your own gain. I know you, and so does JR now, I think that's exactly what you were trying to do and I'm sick of dealing with it. I don't want to be used, I don't want to feel like I'm nothing but a means to an end, I don't want to believe that you only think of me at times when you need or want something. JR is right, involvement in my life means so much more than calling every once in a while, and when you do call, only doing so to ask for a favour or tell me what I'm doing wrong. I don't want to face unnecessary criticism or questionable acts of love; I want to feel good about communicating with you and having you be a part of my life and John Ross' life. At the moment though, I don't feel that way at all".

Both angry and emotionally exhausted, Sue Ellen looked at her mother and anxiously analysed her facial expression. She hadn't come to Austin to get in an argument, but somehow it had ended up that way. All she wanted was for her mother to change and become a better, more genuine person; unfortunately though, it was becoming increasingly clear to her that her wants didn't always come to fruition and some of her thoughts really were just wishful thinking. She didn't want to have to go through the process of completely cutting contact with her, because she did love her and she did hope that one day they would have the sort of relationship she and Miss Ellie had, but if they couldn't come to an understanding soon, she didn't know what else she could do.

To be continued…


	458. Response

**Austin, Texas**

Listening as her daughter spoke, Patricia Shepard let out a loud gasp before falling into a stunned silence. She couldn't believe what she had just heard; she didn't know how her daughter did it, but somehow, she always found a way to blame her for everything, even things that clearly weren't her fault. What was worse than that though was that even when she claimed she didn't doubt her feelings of remorse and regret were genuine, she refused to actually apply that opinion and belief to her attitude. It wasn't fair and it wasn't right, but Sue Ellen was stubborn and while she seemed to love the idea of being independent and responsible for her own life, the reality was, she wasn't and she didn't try very hard to be. It was easier for her to play the victim than it was for her to do something about the supposed hardship she faced in life.

"Oh for goodness sake Sue Ellen, grow up. No matter how much you want to blame me for your thoughts and actions, you can't; you know it, I know it, everyone knows it, so stop pretending otherwise and move on. You're not a teenager anymore, as you so often tell me; you're a married woman, you're supposedly an independent thinker and you're supposedly happier now than you've ever been before; most of the time though, you don't act like it. We've all had bad experiences in life; no one grows up in a completely positive environment; that's life, accept it, choose to leave it in the past and move on. The longer you dwell on your negative thoughts, the worse they become."

"I did everything for you and I received very little in return in comparison. The more you think about your childhood and try to find some sort of answers to why you are the way you are, the more you find it acceptable to believe a very twisted, unfair version of the truth. You said it yourself, you know I'm not to blame for your thoughts or feelings; I don't control your mind and while I may have guided you toward a certain lifestyle, I certainly never forced you into anything. Don't deny you didn't enjoy the attention and money pageants and modelling provided you with. You didn't spend days crying after losing Miss America because you were bothered by the way I had raised you, you were devastated for your own personal loss, plain and simple. It's the same with your marriage; you married JR because you wanted to, just like you dated that poor boy because you wanted to. I may have expressed my opinion on certain things and I may have done my best to guide you toward a life where you wouldn't struggle with the same things I had, but I certainly never controlled you so strictly that you were just a pawn. As for your pregnancy, when did you become so thin-skinned? If you were offended by people's natural curiosity, then I don't know what to say. I don't believe anyone was intending to be nasty when they asked about when you and JR would have a child, and I know you like to pin things on me, but I highly doubt the pressure you felt to produce a male child was because of my words or actions".

"Listen to what you're saying and think about it. You fear being judged, being reprimanded and disappointing people, and you fear our relationship; I didn't tell you to think those things and while I may not have coddled you like you do John Ross, I don't believe your thoughts are directly related to the way I raised you. I did the best I could and to be honest, until this conversation, I thought I had done a reasonable job. I know you say that doctor has helped you, but all I'm hearing now is how he's taught you to shift blame from yourself onto others. If you want to be an adult, then do so, you are of age and no one is stopping you. Remember though, with adult privileges come adult responsibilities, including accepting that you are in control of your own life, your own thoughts and your own actions. If you feel upset by someone else's comments or actions and those comments or actions were not said or done with the intention of upsetting you, then that is your problem, not theirs. I am not to blame for your lack of self-understanding or self-confidence and I am not to blame for your misinterpretation of other people's intentions. I think you know that though, you as much as said so. You know you are your own person; you have your own thoughts, likes and dislikes, you make your own choices, and you aren't afraid of saying what's on your mind. You admitted all of those things earlier, but they seem like a contradiction when you also try to make it seem like I am a puppet master, controlling everything you feel and do. It's time to grow up and accept that some things are your fault and your fault alone. Stop blaming me for your former unhappiness and stop focusing on your former unhappiness; if you're truly happy now, none of that should matter anymore".

"As for everything else, while I'm pleased to hear you'd never wish me harm and you do love me, I'm not even going to dignify your ridiculous accusations of emotional manipulation for my own gain. Whether I was looking for a gesture of goodwill and whether I receive one matter little to you in the grand scheme of life; surely you can afford to host me for a few days, and surely, if you really love me like you say you do, you will want to host me. I am in pain, I am not lying; I also miss my family, that's the truth. If you don't believe me, then I don't know what else to say, because apparently all I do is talk my way into things you want no part of. I think you're being very unfair though; I don't call often because you're always so cold to me, even when I try to be kind. You say you try, but I don't think you try as hard as you think you do; I think you could try harder, just as you seem to think I could try harder. I think that if you truly want what you just told me you want, then you have to change too, not just me…" raising an eyebrow as she spoke, Patricia looked at her daughter as she responded. If Sue Ellen was going to unfairly accuse her of things, then she had every right to respond to those accusations, so she was.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: No chapter tomorrow. Thanks for reading and reviewing; I love reading everyone's thoughts :)**


	459. Last Word

**Austin, Texas**

Wavering between hurt and anger, Sue Ellen didn't know whether to scream and shout or allow herself to cry. How could her mother say the things she did? Did she honestly believe she hadn't had anything to do with the negative feelings she had experienced over her lifetime? Was she honestly trying to pretend she wasn't emotionally manipulative? Did she honestly believe she had done everything for her and received very little in return in comparison? Was she honestly trying to tell her to grow up and accept things as they were? Did she not see how hypocritical that sounded? Her mother was the epitome of the terms emotionally manipulative, perpetual victim and fixated on the past. She had spent the last five and a half years attempting to squeeze as much out of JR as she could, and before that, she had spent at least fifteen years preparing and executing a plan to boost her own social and financial position, a plan that relied heavily on manipulating and exploiting her daughters. She wasn't innocent, not by any means, and to Sue Ellen, it seemed ridiculous and laughable that she had anything to say in regard to telling her to grow up and move on; she was in no position to tell anyone to do either of those things, she couldn't even do them herself.

"I should grow up? I don't try hard enough and should change if I want things to be different? You don't call me often because I'm cold to you? You did everything for me and take absolutely no responsibility for the way I was taught to think about things or react to things? Mother, I don't think you truly understood anything I was trying to tell you. You heard me, I know that much, because you countered just about everything I was trying to tell you, but you didn't really listen; there is a difference". She didn't feel like explaining exactly what Doctor Williams had told her about being a good listener, because her mother had just dismissed Doctor Williams' assistance as nonsense, however, in her mind, she totally believed what he had told her and she had no doubt that her mother wasn't truly listening, considering, comprehending and responding to what she was saying.

"I don't know how much longer I can do this; you obviously don't understand what I'm trying to say, and I don't know what to say anymore. You say things in a manner that sounds as if you want me to feel sorry for you, but you admonish me for supposedly doing the same thing; you refuse to see things from my perspective, but you expect me to see things from yours and agree with you; and you show no sympathy or empathy for me. I'll be honest, it's frustrating, angering and I hate it. I don't expect you to agree with me on every point I make, but it makes me feel awful when you dismiss my feelings and tell me I'm being silly. I don't for one second believe that everything you did was for me, and that you received nothing in return; I think you're conveniently forgetting that I was there and I do communicate with people. I don't know the details of your dealings with the men you set me up with when I was younger, but I'm not so naïve to believe that you set up those meetings without guaranteeing something in return for yourself; and I think you forget that JR and I do talk, I know all about your agreements".

"Furthermore, I don't know if you meant it exactly as it came out sounding, but I cannot believe that you honestly think you just guided me toward a certain lifestyle, but you never forced me to do anything. I very clearly remember many times where I wanted to do one thing and you wanted another, and guess who ended up getting what they wanted? It wasn't me. As well as that, I very clearly remember telling you I didn't want to do certain things, like go on dates with wealthy men I had no interest in and in some cases, had a very strong dislike for. I accept that once I was actually participating in pageants, winning was enjoyable, however, I don't think I ever actually volunteered myself to enter a pageant and I remember having a lot of anxiety relating to how you would react if I didn't win. The night of the Miss Austin pageant, I wanted to win because I wanted to make you proud; so yes, I was happy I won, but I was even happier that just for a moment, you were proud of me. You'll probably deny it, but I also remember that that night you told me I had passed one challenge, but Miss Texas and Miss America were still ahead of me and it wasn't the time to relax and enjoy my success. That is what I mean by things never being enough".

"As for my relationship with JR and my former relationship with Clint, don't even pretend that was really my choice. You hated every minute I was with Clint and you did everything in your power to break us up, which you didn't; we broke up for reasons completely unrelated to your interference, but still, your interference was unpleasant and unnecessary. The only reason you approved of me dating JR was because he was a Ewing; in fact, if I remember correctly, Ewing Oil was the first thing you asked about. I know there were a number of times you told me you disapproved of the way JR and I were together in our relationship, but those objections all seemed to be able to be fixed by bribes and the promise of eventual marriage".

"I understand that you don't believe you controlled every little thing about my thoughts and feelings, and I accept that you didn't, I said that earlier, however, I don't like that you're not listening to me when I tell you that the way you raised me did have an impact on the way I see the world. My feelings aren't something you can tell me I don't feel, because they are exactly that, my feelings, not yours. I'm just trying to be open and honest with you when I tell you about those feelings, but instead of you listening and saying nothing or offering some sort of acceptance or apology, you just deny any association with them. You tell me to grow up and stop focusing on my former unhappiness, and I try to do that, but you have to know by now that it's not that easy for me. Whether you like it or not, I am seeing Doctor Williams and I do believe he is helping me work through my feelings, specifically by talking about them and confronting them, not burying them or denying they exist".

"I'm not denying that I have a lot of things to work through and that I am responsible for a lot of my thoughts and feelings, and I'm not trying to blame you for everything I feel; all I'm trying to do is explain to you how you factor into everything that's 'wrong' with me. I'm trying to communicate and I feel like I'm getting nothing of any real value in return. I feel like this entire visit has been a huge waste of time. You say you miss your family and you want things to change, but you also make it sound as if that was your attempt at making that change; you make it seem as though your part is done and you have no further effort to make. I'm telling you now, I cannot live that way. I cannot keep participating in a relationship where you say you miss me and John Ross, but you refuse to acknowledge or attempt to change small things in the way you deal with us. I don't know what to do, I'm upset and I'm conflicted; I don't want to keep having the same arguments over and over. I want to start afresh, but to do that, I need closure, but without you acknowledging and accepting my feelings, I don't think I will ever get that closure…"

Feeling sad, relieved and overwhelmed, Sue Ellen felt as if she were about to burst into tears as she finished speaking. She knew she was probably setting herself up for disappointment, her mother hadn't shown any sign of understanding or empathising with her feelings, so she was sure the rest of their conversation wouldn't be any different. She needed to say what she had to say though; it was good for her to get it out in the open, even if she didn't get the result she was hoping for.

Feeling JR's hand in hers, gently rubbing his thumb over hers, she knew the conversation was probably almost over and from the look on her mother's face, her earlier assumption that all was not well, was probably correct. It was a sad situation, because she hadn't come to Austin to argue or completely cut ties with her mother, but whatever the result of their visit, she was glad she had said something and hadn't just allowed her mother to get what she wanted, again. She was exceptionally glad too that JR was there with her. He knew when to speak and when to let her fight her own battles, but she also knew he was well aware of her limits and how much she would need him later if her mother responded in any further negative manner. She was strong, but only to a point, so she was grateful to have her husband with her.

To be continued…


	460. Closing Argument

**Austin, Texas**

Observing the contact between her daughter and son-in-law as her daughter spoke, Patricia was filled with indignation and envy; nothing in her life was fair and she hated it. She had no one in her corner to support her, physically or emotionally, and it was becoming increasingly clear that Sue Ellen had been spoiled by the lifestyle marriage to JR Ewing afforded her, to the point where she was forgetting where she had come from and fighting back against any reminders of her past that didn't support her memories. Her daughter had everything: money, power, love, youth, security, respect and a number of other things she would love to have in her life, but for some reason, she was intent on focusing on her 'painful' past and selfishly refusing to assist anyone but herself and her husband to achieve the same happiness they had.

"…_you make it seem as though your part is done and you have no further effort to make… you refuse to acknowledge or attempt to change small things in the way you deal with us… I don't want to keep having the same arguments over and over. I want to start afresh, but to do that, I need closure, but without you acknowledging and accepting my feelings, I don't think I will ever get that closure…"_ Listening as her daughter finished speaking, she couldn't help but feel exhausted. Sue Ellen was being ridiculous, immature, single-minded, and was talking in circles, even though that was what she claimed she didn't want to do. Clearly her daughter was in no state of mind to do what she was telling her to do, listen, not just hear; and clearly now was not the right time to have any kind of real conversation. It was unfortunately extremely clear to her too that her plan to persuade Sue Ellen to assist her in her move to Dallas was not going to happen, at least not any time in the near future.

Sighing, Patricia accepted the current situation and readjusted her schedule and expectations. Even if she wanted to shout and shake some sense and perspective into her daughter, she knew that was not a wise thing to do with JR present, and unfortunately, even if he weren't present, she wasn't sure she had the energy to keep arguing much longer anyway. Whether her daughter and son-in-law wanted to believe it or not, she was injured, she was at a crossroads in her life, and she didn't have the time or energy to keep having the same conversation repeatedly. "Sue Ellen, I'm tired and you're being hysterical. I can see now that my simple request for a little kindness in my time of need is not going to be fulfilled and in the state of mind you're in, anything else I say can and will be used against me, so I think it's time to end this conversation". Attempting to be short and to the point in her response to her daughter's melodramatic rant, she was genuinely confused when instead of receiving a sigh, a snide remark and a cold goodbye from Sue Ellen in response to her words, she became witness to the much softer, emotional side of her daughter. She had deliberately stayed away from saying anything too cutting, but somehow, whatever she had said had still been too much. Sighing, she didn't know what to do or say, because it seemed that whatever she did or said, it was always wrong. If she was too nice, she was accused of having a hidden agenda; if she was completely honest, she was accused of being nasty manipulative; and if she acted in the middle of the two, attempting to get her point across without causing too much of a fuss, she was something else, though she didn't quite know what.

Hearing her mother dismissing her honest concerns as nothing more than hysteria, Sue Ellen felt hopeless, helpless, and completely emotionally exhausted. She had been angry earlier, and she still was, but no longer was her anger one of the main things driving her. Feeling the tears she had been holding back earlier now streaming down her face, she knew it was time to leave. She didn't want to look like she was acceding to her mother's suggestion though, because that would probably only boost her mother's confidence in her opinion that she wasn't in any state of mind to talk, specifically because she was hysterical. Unfortunately, in this case, she really didn't have it in her to do anything other than just that, end the conversation and leave; her breathing was already affected too much by her crying to speak any more anyway. Feeling JR's hands gently turning her away from her mother and toward him, she welcomed the way his arms felt around her and she had no concerns about ceding control of the situation to him.

Observing the situation unfolding, JR knew he had made a mistake not stepping in earlier, however, he also knew he had no power to change the past, so to dwell on that small regret was pointless. All he could do now was focus on the present and the future, and if Sue Ellen's current condition was anything to go by, the present was exactly where he was needed. Selfishly, just for a moment, he allowed himself to enjoy the way his wife made it extremely clear she needed him to comfort her and wanted him to take over fighting her battle for her; he liked feeling strong and needed. After that brief moment though, his thoughts and feelings returned to reality; he was angry and frustrated, not with his wife, but with his mother-in-law; Patricia had been told repeatedly that her attitude and behaviour wasn't kind, constructive or welcome, but just as many times as she had been told, she had refused to listen or change. The woman was infuriating and he was absolutely sick of dealing with her and the problems she caused. He and Sue Ellen didn't need her in their lives and he was ready to make it known once and for all that she would no longer be welcome to participate in their lives.

Conscious of his weeping wife's needs, specifically the need for privacy and to get away from her mother, JR knew whatever he had to say to Patricia had to be brief, at least for now. "Patricia, you should count yourself lucky that I care more about my wife's happiness and wellbeing than my own right now, because if I didn't, this conversation would not be over, no matter how tired you claim to be. For now though, the conversation is over; we're leaving and I wouldn't expect to hear from us any time soon, or possibly ever again if I were you. In our absence, I think you would do well to think about what happened here today. You've had enough chances to explain yourself, to listen to your daughter and to make things right, and with all of those chances, you've just wasted them and achieved nothing. Sue Ellen very clearly told you how she felt and she very clearly told you she doesn't blame you entirely for her feelings, because she understands that you don't control her mind, however, even with her explanations of why she feels the way she does, you've done nothing but attempt to make her sound irrational and crazy. I don't believe she ever said it, but I sure as hell was thinking it and I think you deserve to hear it; you're a completely unfit mother and I don't think anyone that knows the two of you would blame her for never speaking to you again. Now, I won't stop her from speaking to you if by some miracle things do change and you do a one-eighty, but I sure as hell have no plans to encourage her to try to communicate with you anymore. You've blown your chance, now it's time to live with the consequences. From now on, do not call us, do not write to us and don't even think about showing up at our home. Sue Ellen needs time and space away from you and your negativity, and I will do everything I can to make sure she gets what she needs". Glaring at his mother-in-law, JR then turned his attention back to Sue Ellen and cupping her cheek and putting an arm around her shoulder, allowing her to lean into him, he gently guided her out of the room; his wife needed him and he did not intend to let her down.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: The physical description of JR holding Sue Ellen is supposed to be similar to **_**Whatever Happened to Baby John?, Part II**_**, though it's actually rather difficult to describe.**

**Thank you to everyone who has left a review recently :)**


	461. Home Ground

**Austin, Texas**

"…take me home", holding his weeping wife as they left their disastrous meeting with her mother, JR's plan to leave Austin as soon as possible was solidified by Sue Ellen's three mumbled words. The further away from Patricia they were, the better, and the sooner he could make it happen, the better.

"How could she?" breathing shallowly through her tears, Sue Ellen looked at her husband before burying her face in his chest once again. "I hate her…" uttering three small, but very powerful words, her sobs got louder and her need for comfort grew stronger. Somehow, she didn't quite know how, she had other things on her mind, they made their way from seeing her mother, into the back of a waiting chauffeured vehicle, and in the back of her mind, she was eternally grateful that JR was as wealthy as he was. She was in no mood and wasn't entirely sure she would be capable of composing herself enough right now to make an appearance in a public space like she would if they were flying back to Dallas on a commercial airline. Additionally, she couldn't wait to leave Austin and delaying their departure by visiting their hotel or sitting around in an airport lounge, waiting for a commercial flight to leave sounded like agony right now. She knew she was being dramatic and if necessary, she could and would do what was socially acceptable, stop crying, hold her head high and get on with life, but she was grateful for the opportunities privilege afforded her; she was grateful for the sheltered life she was able to take advantage of if she so wished.

Naturally finding herself cuddled up to her husband, with her head nestled in the crook of his neck and one hand on his chest, she found herself relaxing as he gently ran his fingers through her hair and murmured a few kind words to her. It was a small gesture of kindness and they both knew she would need a lot more than what he was giving her now to eventually move past her hurt and anger, but for the duration of the journey to the airport and the freshness of her emotions, it was exactly what she needed.

**Dallas, Texas**

A couple of hours later, after a short waiting period at the airport and then what felt like a long flight simply because of how many thoughts had been running through her head, Sue Ellen breathed a sigh of relief as the pilot announced their imminent descent and the familiar sight of Dallas Love Field came into view. She was a lot calmer now than she had been earlier in the day, thanks not only to her husband but also to the time she had had to think and express her feelings, as well as the growing physical distance between her and her mother. Still, she didn't think she would be completely calm for a while, not until she was home with her son and she had had time to actually work through her thoughts and feelings. Right now, she was a mess, a calm mess, but a mess nonetheless; JR had been wonderfully kind and comforting to her and the personal strength she had gained within the last year was definitely an asset, but she wasn't naïve enough to believe everything would get better without a lot of hard work and realistically, professional help. She liked Doctor Williams and he knew and understood her difficult relationship with her mother, so unlike when she first met him and had hesitations about opening up, she now had every intention of asking him for his opinion and relying on his education and experience to help guide her through this painful, confusing time in her life.

Unfortunately, although she had managed to calm herself down and figure out a plan of action for the next little while in her life, Sue Ellen couldn't help but feel shaky and sick as they neared Southfork a little under forty minutes after landing. It was silly, she knew it and JR assured her so, but still, she was worried about their immediate future, specifically, how to explain to Jock and Miss Ellie what had happened. "JR, I know your parents, they mean well, and since we haven't spoken to them since last night when the only thing we really knew about my mother's condition was her physical state, they'll have a lot of questions if we return with a completely different attitude. I'm ok, I'm sure cried enough over the last few of hours that I don't have many tears left, but still, even if we don't really elaborate, your parents are going to know something is wrong, and honestly, I don't have the emotional energy to explain everything right now. Not to mention that I'm not even sure I want to explain things. When we moved out of Southfork, we made a point to separate our lives from the life we share in so much detail with the rest of the family. I love your mama and I wish my own mother were more like her, but I don't know if I'm ready to tell her everything just yet…"

Explaining her feelings to her husband, again, Sue Ellen wasn't too surprised when he glanced over at her and then pulled over. It had taken them a while to get on the same wavelength in a few areas of their marriage, however, for the most part, JR had always understood her feelings about her mother and had always known how to counsel and comfort her when she was upset because of something her mother had said or done. Because of their shared past with difficult parents and fighting to overcome the painful self-doubts that came from the things their parents had said or done, and judging by the last couple of days, she had no doubt JR would be the same wonderfully supportive and understanding man he had always been in situations like this. She didn't want to be a mess, but she was, so to have someone on her side was a blessing, one she was eternally grateful for.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Short chapter today and no chapter tomorrow, sorry. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	462. Mother Figure

**Dallas, Texas**

"Thank you for everything you've done for me Miss Ellie…" listening to the way her daughter-in-law spoke and studying her body language, Miss Ellie couldn't help but feel as though there was something more to their conversation than was being said aloud. Hearing that Patricia was 'just fine' and was 'already back to her old self' was a positive thing, but for some reason, there seemed to be deep sadness and other underlying emotions attached to the way Sue Ellen and JR were speaking. Knowing Sue Ellen and knowing the difficult relationship she and her mother shared, she had a feeling that whatever had happened in Austin was personal rather than medical and it had shaken Sue Ellen a little. She knew her daughter-in-law, she was sensitive and a lot of the time, she suffered in silence for a long time before her emotions all came spilling out, intentionally or not. Things had been different over the past few months, she and JR had been communicating with each other and with other people a lot more clearly and directly thanks to Doctor Williams; every so often though, a little push was needed. Although Miss Ellie wanted to give Sue Ellen that small push she sometimes needed to start talking about her feelings, because she loved her like her own daughter and she wanted to be able to help her through whatever was going on in her life, she knew the present was not the time or place to do so. It was Sunday afternoon, the whole family was present in the Southfork living room, JR and Sue Ellen were clearly tired and Sue Ellen hadn't once mentioned feeling down in any way, so to approach the subject out of the blue just didn't seem appropriate; their conversation could wait.

"Oh Sue Ellen, you know we love having John Ross with us, so don't even mention it…" stepping a little closer to her daughter-in-law as she responded to her comment, Miss Ellie lightly touched her hand and then looked at her again. "I'm here for you Sue Ellen, I love you and I want the best for you, we all do, so if you need to talk, or not talk, please don't hesitate to call me, or just come over, you don't need an invitation to come here", speaking in a quieter voice, she hoped Sue Ellen knew she was being honest. Watching as her daughter-in-law nodded slightly, she knew her message had been understood as intended when Sue Ellen looked at her with her big, brown, expressive eyes and politely responded, "thank you". Sue Ellen's eyes were both a blessing and a curse to her; they really were a window to her soul, and right now, she appeared to be sad, but also grateful. They would talk, not today, perhaps not tomorrow, the next day or even within the next week, but at some point, when Sue Ellen was ready and willing, they would have a nice, long conversation, maybe a good cry and then hopefully, Sue Ellen would find it in her to focus on the much happier parts of her life.

As Sue Ellen observed and listened to her mother-in-law's kind words and actions, she had mixed feelings. On one hand, she was so thankful and happy to have Miss Ellie in her life, not trying to be anything other than a caring family member, but on the other hand, she hated that the motherly words of her mother-in-law were a reminder of just how unmotherly her own mother had been, was, and would always be. As she was thinking about her own experiences with mother figures, she was soon distracted and reminded that she wasn't the only 'child' in the situation; she was a mother to a child herself, and while John Ross had been squirmy and eager to move around earlier, he now seemed to want to be close to her. Crouching down, she took his hands, assisted him in pulling himself upright and then watched with pride as he attempted to use his feet to walk toward her rather than crawling in the way he was now a master at. He was unsteady on his feet and soon found himself back in a sitting position on the floor, but just the small reality of having his mother's undivided attention and praise, and the new, exciting action he was learning was enough to make him smile and let out a small, happy squeal.

Picking John Ross up off the floor, Sue Ellen found her mood completely different to how it had been just moments ago; she loved being a mother and she was doing everything in her power to ensure John Ross loved having her as his mother. Whispering a few happy words in his ear and giving him a kiss, she then rested him on her hip before turning part of her attention back to her conversation with Miss Ellie. Remembering her mother-in-law's earlier comment about how the family loved having John Ross around, and conscious that her son was watching her, fascinated by her words and actions in a way only a small child could be, she made sure to involve him in her response as much as she could. "You love your time with grandma and grandpa, cousin Lucy, and uncle Bobby, don't you?" she knew he couldn't speak yet, but he wasn't insentient, he had thoughts and feelings and he was capable of basic communication. Smiles, giggles, squeals, attempts at words, and excited hand gestures were almost as much fun for his family as they were for him, and anything Sue Ellen and the rest of the family could do to encourage him to communicate with them, they did.

Half an hour later, after socialising with the rest of the family for a while, JR, Sue Ellen and John Ross arrived home. It was still a relatively new experience for them, living in their own home, away from Southfork, but it was one they adapting to quickly and happily. It was nice to be able to escape from the drama of the outside world, or the internal family drama they so often faced, and after putting John Ross down for his afternoon nap, the pleasantness of a quiet, private space of their own was obvious. Being back in Dallas, in their own little cocoon, wouldn't fix the issues Sue Ellen was facing; she would still have to talk everything out with Doctor Williams, and she would still need and want JR's love and support, but the comforts of home were already having an effect on the pain and anger she had experienced just hours earlier. It was nice to be around people who genuinely loved her, genuinely wanted the best for her, and wanted nothing but the same love, encouragement and well wishes in return.

To be continued…


	463. Seeking Answers

**Dallas, Texas**

Nodding, jotting down a few notes and making a few sounds to let her know he was listening, Doctor Williams couldn't help but feel very empathetic toward Sue Ellen and highly annoyed at her mother for consistently acting in a way that caused her daughter deep, prolonged pain. He knew he couldn't really make a proper judgement about Patricia Shepard without meeting her and hearing her perspective, and he knew that just as he always told Sue Ellen her thoughts and feelings were valid, so were her mother's, however, although he tried hard to see things in a fair, informed and unbiased manner, he was also human. From the way Sue Ellen described their interactions, it wasn't too surprising that she was the way she was and it was difficult not to sympathise with her position. Whether she had perceived situations as worse than they actually were or not, it was obvious that her mother's words, actions and general being had had a great impact on her and both consciously and subconsciously affected many of her thoughts and actions. As much as he felt for Sue Ellen and just wanted to temporarily rebuild her spirit with encouraging, but hollow words, he knew he had a responsibility to dig deeper and really help her to move past her issues with her mother, even if it meant making her mentally relive painful past experiences. He was her therapist, not her friend; he had more responsibility to her than to just alleviate her pain in the short-term.

"…I'm angry with her and I'm angry with myself. I opened up to her, I told her how I felt and why I felt that way, but I also made sure to not come across as accusatory before it was necessary. Did she understand anything I was saying though? No, she didn't. It was painful enough knowing that despite trying to clearly and maturely explain my feelings, I wasn't getting through to her, but for her to them go ahead and just dismiss my concerns as hysteria, that made me angry. I know my mother, verbalising the word hysterical was just a small part of what was actually going through her mind; I'm sure she had to try hard not to call me immature, bratty, ungrateful, greedy, spiteful, or a number of other things. I'm sure having JR there protected me a little, she knows where the money she's so obsessed with comes from, but I hate that it has to be like that. I hate that it takes the threat of having no association with money to scare her, so she holds her tongue in some ways not because she cares about me, but because she's afraid for her own situation. JR and I have made it very clear to her that we are no longer interested in financially supporting her, but I've also made it clear that a personal relationship is something that can develop if we both put effort into it, but she doesn't seem interested in just having a simple, loving relationship at all. To go with that, I hate that all I seem to be to her is a means to an end. Even in a situation where I had a great deal of love and sympathy for her and I genuinely did want to do something to help, she couldn't just accept what was being offered, she had to attempt to exploit the situation to her advantage. It hurts to know that your own mother only wants to associate with you for her own gain, and it makes me feel not only hurt, but also angry that I allow my feelings to be so heavily influenced by the way she treats me. I know who I am and I am happy with the way my life is now, but I also know I sometimes doubt myself when I really shouldn't, and I hate that. Frankly, I'm just as frustrated with my own insecurity as I am with her attitude and behaviour…"

As she attempted to explain her feelings to him, Sue Ellen's frustration with herself and the situation she was in was obvious. She clearly wanted something different than what she had and she knew she had to make an effort to change the things she didn't like, but it was discouraging to see her efforts not appreciated or respected by her mother. As well as that, she was clearly driving herself crazy by mentally going in circles with the guilt, anger and frustration she felt. It was only natural for her to be annoyed that her personal progress was so easily forgotten, but just telling her that was only helpful to a certain degree; what she needed from him was further assistance in practicing and eventually learning how to handle her thoughts and feelings before they got to the point she was at now. She needed and wanted to know how to say what she wanted to say, how to listen to what other people had to say and how to take on board their opinions, without letting those opinions completely ruin her day. It was ok for her to feel upset that her mother used her for her own means and didn't appear to ever really change, but it wasn't necessary to agonise over a reality she had always known existed and had no real control over. If her mother wouldn't change and didn't care about her feelings, and she had attempted to but failed at changing that reality, then for the sake of her present sanity, it was best to accept that reality and move on. Accepting a current reality didn't mean it was set in stone and nothing would ever change; Patricia quite possibly could see the error of her ways and attempt to make things right with her daughter, however, until that or something similar happened, it wasn't helpful or necessary for Sue Ellen to be so focused on the details of the situation.

Putting aside his notepad, he met her expectant, confused gaze, silently held eye contact for a few moments and then began to speak. "Firstly, before we delve into your concerns, I want to say congratulations and I want you to congratulate yourself too. Take a moment to look at your achievements; although the situation with your mother didn't turn out as you would have liked, it was still a huge accomplishment for you to tell her your honest feelings, to stand your ground when she tried to manipulate you, and to walk away before things got exceptionally nasty". Giving her something small to think about, he then paused and waited for her to do just that. There would be plenty of time in their one-on-one appointment for her to focus on the negative aspects of the situation she was in, but before they got to that, he wanted her to take a moment to refocus her perspective; she wasn't as weak and pathetic as she was feeling and it was time for her to remember that.

To be continued…


	464. Refocus

**Dallas, Texas**

"Good afternoon Mrs Ewing", always cheerful, even when the Ewing men she worked for weren't, Diane greeted Sue Ellen as she exited the elevator and entered the Ewing Oil reception area. "Good afternoon Diane. How have you been?" responding to JR's secretary's warm manner, Sue Ellen smiled at her as she looked around the room. She was aware that Julie was probably around somewhere, so she was prepared to be civil to her if she did see her, but it would be nice if she could go straight through to JR's office without having to play nice with her first. "I'm very well thank you. How are you and how is John Ross? I must say, you all look very happy in the Christmas photo JR had me frame for his office", smiling as she spoke, Diane's honesty and genuine happiness for JR and his family was apparent and for Sue Ellen, that, combined with Diane's happily married status and sincere pleasant personality only improved her mood. Unfortunately, as Diane spoke and Sue Ellen began to respond, the door to Jock's office opened and Julie appeared in the hallway; it was nice to know Julie had been doing her job, attending to Jock's administrative needs, not JR's sexual desires; however, her presence alone was enough to bother Sue Ellen.

"Thank you; we are all very happy, and thankfully, we're all very well too. I've been getting back into doing charity work and that's been very enjoyable and fulfilling for me. John Ross is crawling everywhere and starting to try to walk, he's also very curious and he's beginning to really develop his verbal skills. I absolutely adore being a mother and it's wonderful to see JR as a father", catching herself before she began to ramble and she ran the risk of Diane losing interest, she then paused and redirected the conversation, "speaking of JR, is there any way I could see him?" She was aware that JR was a busy man, however, she hoped he wasn't too busy and would be able to fit her into his day; her appointment with Doctor Williams earlier in the morning had ended on a surprisingly positive note and she wanted to get the ball rolling on the challenge he had set for her. "Of course. I'll call him now, but I'm sure he won't mind if you just go through", smiling warmly again, Diane picked up the phone and nodded as Sue Ellen thanked her and turned to walk in the direction of the hallway, passing and only briefly acknowledging Julie as she did. Noticing the polite, but not friendly interaction between Sue Ellen and Julie, Diane said nothing as Sue Ellen disappeared down the hall and Julie made her way back to her desk. She had a feeling she knew why the two women acted the way they did with each other, but she had no interest in confirming her theory; unless other people shared their problems with her, their private matters were none of her business and she respected that.

Hearing a knock on his door and his intercom buzzing, JR sighed to himself; if it was his father again, he didn't really want to see him. Ewing Oil was doing ok, but his father was still worried about the shaky economy and wouldn't let him forget it. The first few times they had discussed the pros and cons of each of their opinions, it had been relatively interesting, however, now, after more than a few conversations about the same topic, he was sick of talking about it and quite frankly, he had better things to spend his day doing. Gruffly calling out to whoever was at the door to come in, he then pressed the button on his intercom and waited for Diane to speak. Looking toward the door as it opened, he was pleasantly surprised when Sue Ellen entered his office and Diane stopped speaking; his secretary could clearly see from her desk that her message was now redundant, so she simply apologised and then ended the call, leaving him alone with his wife.

"Hello darlin', what a pleasant surprise. To what do I owe the pleasure?", shooting his wife his signature grin, JR stood, walked over to greet her and then gave her a short, but passionate kiss when he reached her. In a much better mood, he knew his earlier thought that it was his father who was knocking on his door was a misjudgement, his father never waited for an invitation to enter his office, he always just knocked as he was opening the door and then announced his arrival upon entering. With that in mind and because he didn't know the reason for Sue Ellen's visit, he made a conscious effort to lock his office door; there was no guarantee anything more intimate than talking would occur during his wife's visit, but there was no harm in taking precautions in case it did. "The pleasure's all mine darlin'", hearing the tone of her voice, feeling the way she responded to his kiss and then seeing the way she was looking at him as she responded to his greeting, he was suddenly not so unsure about whether their meeting would be strictly talking or not. Sue Ellen was happy and flirty and that only meant good things for them.

A couple of minutes later, after accepting a drink from JR and settling down on the couch in the corner of his office, Sue Ellen broke the comfortable silence they had fallen into, "I suppose you're wondering why I'm here?" Looking at her husband's quizzical expression, she then opened her purse and retrieved a small envelope, opening it to remove a neatly folded piece of monogrammed notepad paper. "As you know, I went to see Doctor Williams this morning…" thinking back to their appointment, she didn't quite know how to explain how their conversation had transitioned from her ranting about her frustration with her mother and herself into something much calmer and happier, however, she knew she should at least try. "I can't even begin to explain everything he said, you know him, he has such a way with words that it's almost impossible to repeat his message without losing some meaning. We have our Tuesday appointment tomorrow though, so I'm sure he'll be able to explain anything I can't", pausing for a second, she noted JR's expression remained unchanged and she knew she had to actually explain why she was there, not just talk around it. "Anyway, we were talking and he asked me to look at the bigger picture. He said that in focusing so much on my own insecurity and my anger toward my mother, I'm missing out on enjoying all of the good things I have, so he wanted me to refocus my thoughts on the things I set as goals for the new year. That's where this comes in", unfolding the note and handing it over to JR, she continued to speak, "it's is the list of goals and resolutions we made together. I want to revisit them, all of them, but there's one I really wanted to start working on as soon as possible", hoping he would understand why she hadn't just waited until he returned home later that evening, she then pointed at the second bullet point on the list.

Grinning as he caught Sue Ellen's meaning, JR stood quietly, buzzed Diane to ask her to bring his yearlong agenda in and then walked over to unlock the door. He had promised his wife more regular weekends away and a proper family vacation for them and John Ross this year, and he did not intend to go back on his word. He was a busy, important man though, so unfortunately, as much as he wanted to be able to say yes to Sue Ellen every time she suggested a date, he couldn't agree to all of everything; however, he was confident that with Diane's organizational help, everything would work out.

To be continued…


	465. Bargaining

**Dallas, Texas**

"Darlin, I'm the vice president and although you're right, my contract does include a very generous benefit package, including a number of paid vacation days, it's not that simple. I am very happy to agree to make the final weekend of every month time just for our family, or just for the two of us, but I don't think it's realistic for me to extend those weekends into three or four days. Maybe every once in a while, but not every month; I cannot take what adds up to between eleven and twenty-two days over the year, plus ten days in the summer, it's just not realistic. I'm not Bobby, I actually work for a living, so to be out of the office, not on a business trip or attending business meetings, doesn't look good and won't do me or Ewing Oil any good".

"Now, I before you say it, no, I'm not putting Ewing Oil before our family, I'm just trying to be realistic. I'm the vice president of a large company, financially, whether I take paid or unpaid vacation time is irrelevant, we have more than enough to support our lifestyle, but with the workload I have and the expectations other people have for me, I can't afford to be absent so often. A day here and there is acceptable, but if it spreads around town that JR Ewing is predictably absent on certain days of the month, other people will try to take advantage of that. I cannot have Martin Hurst and Seth Stone, or Wade Luce and Jordan Lee thinking they can just exclude Ewing Oil from important discussions because I'm not around to keep them in line. As well as that, I cannot have it appear to anyone who needs to make an appointment with me that I don't work on Friday's or Monday's; a little bit of negotiation for a meeting time makes me look important and busy, but constant unavailability is a guaranteed way to make sure potential deals never see the light of day. Do you understand? I'm not saying no, I'm just saying you're going to have to temper your expectations a bit".

Engaging in and maintaining eye contact with his wife as he spoke, JR couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking as he finished speaking; she was so easy to read sometimes, but for some reason, now was not one of those times. Waiting for her to respond, his mind moved through what he had said and what he had intentionally not said. He had purposely avoided mentioning how his father would react to the news of his intention to actually use a majority of the paid leave his employment contract entitled him to, and he still had no intention of bringing his father into the conversation until they had negotiated the number of days down. In explaining everything to her too, he had purposely left out his personal insecurity about his position within Ewing Oil, though his silence on that topic had been because of Diane's presence rather than because he didn't want to be honest with his wife. If he left town for too long, he didn't want anyone, especially Bobby, thinking that he was less dedicated to the oil business or less powerful. It was a somewhat irrational fear, he was guaranteed the presidency in a few years and realistically, a day of leave here or there was more of a big deal to him and his workload than to anyone else, however, it was still something on his mind and something he couldn't quite let go of. As far as everything he had told her though, he had been being honest; he did business with men who were only truly loyal to themselves, he had to be present and aware to stay on top of his personal and Ewing Oil's business success. Additionally, he was a busy man and his work often involved consulting with other people, it would be frustrating for everyone involved if instead of being available for the standard 160 business hours a month, he was forced to fit his weekly, monthly and unscheduled meetings into much less time. He hoped Sue Ellen understood the position he was in and why he had to say no to her first request and he hoped she would be open to accepting the way things were and working within those parameters.

Listening to her husband as he explained why he had to say no to her request, Sue Ellen had to force herself to hold back a smile. She wasn't at all surprised about his response to her first request; she knew how important he was to Ewing Oil and she knew how hard he worked during the week, so she wasn't under any illusions that he would be able to easily pause his responsibilities while he enjoyed a little vacation time every four weeks. "I understand. You're a busy man, I know that, and I know how hard you try to get everything done at work so you don't have to bring it home. I respect you and I love that you try so hard to be the best in everything you do", conscious of Diane's presence, her demeanour remained more reserved than relaxed, however, to show JR she did mean what she was saying, she reached out to softly touch his hand. Staying silent for a few moments, she then turned her attention to Diane to ask her to flip back to the yearlong calendar inside the agenda she kept on her desk to keep track of JR's professional, and personal, comings and goings. Looking at the calendar, jotting down a few numbers and then considering what she was looking at, she then turned her attention back to JR and broke the silence, this time speaking in a less emotional and more energetic tone than she had been just moments ago; "I have a proposal, one I think will work for everyone".

Starting out smiling as she explained, Sue Ellen's smile then turned into a grin as JR began to nod and make a few interested sounds. She had always known her earlier proposal was too much to ask for, but she hadn't known the limits of what JR could and couldn't do and she hadn't wanted to directly ask him in case he decided to consider it too deeply and ended up talking himself out of taking what was rightfully his. By starting with a larger request than was realistic though, she knew she could get him to think more generously toward himself than what he would have if she had just asked him otherwise. She had no intention of making a habit of tricking him into agreeing to things, because she wanted their relationship to be more honest than that, however, in this situation, it did seem appropriate and harmless to use one of his own methods of negotiation 'against' him. Starting high and negotiating things down rather than the other way around meant that in the end, everyone got what they were happy with, and that was all she wanted.

To be continued…


	466. Topic of the Day

**Dallas, Texas**

"Tell me JR, how did you and how do you feel about all of this?" having heard a slew of Sue Ellen's thoughts, but surprisingly, none of JR's, Doctor Williams directed a specific question toward him. Things were clearly much better in between he and Sue Ellen now than they had been when they had first started their joint sessions a few months ago, and he had come to see him a couple of times independently for advice, however, he still wasn't as open and willing to talk as he would have liked him to be. From what he heard from Sue Ellen though, JR was communicative about his feelings with her in private, so that was progress.

"Is that a joke? How do you think I felt? I was angry and I still am. Patricia is a terrible mother and a horrible person; I gave her a chance for Sue Ellen's sake, but she pushed her luck too far this time and I am through with dealing with her and honestly, I'm sick of talking about her and giving her the attention I know she craves. I don't want to incriminate myself, but I know a thing or two about pushing people to the edge of their tolerance and revelling in their exasperation or simply enjoying that just for a moment, you're the one receiving people's attention. It's selfish and petty, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Patricia craves attention just as much as she craves money and for years we've humoured her needs and wants because it was easier than arguing otherwise, but I'm done now and I'd really rather not give her the satisfaction of having us dedicate so much attention to discussing her, even if she doesn't actually know we're doing so. Sue Ellen came to my office yesterday and told me everything you had said to her, and for once, I happened to agree with you, so if we have to discuss something for the rest of this appointment, then I propose we discuss that. From what I understand, it's not good for Sue Ellen to focus so deeply on her anger toward Patricia, because in doing so, she's wasting time and energy on things she tried hard to but cannot change and is missing out on enjoying the good things she does have. I think it's only fair to say the same for me, isn't it? I'm a busy man, I come here twice a week during my lunch break and when I'm not at work, I try hard to focus on enjoying what I so easily could have lost if I hadn't had a harsh reality check last year. Sue Ellen and John Ross are my priority in my personal life and Ewing Oil is a priority in my professional life; I don't have time to sit around analysing Patricia's petty, manipulative behaviour and I'd rather not waste any more time explaining why I feel that way". Annoyed that the doctor seemed more interested in finding out his feelings about the situation as a whole rather than complimenting him on his improved communication and negotiation skills when it came to his and Sue Ellen's relationship, JR couldn't help but use a less than positive tone as he responded to his silly questions.

Glancing back and forth between JR and Doctor Williams, Sue Ellen cleared her throat and was ready to speak as soon as JR finished speaking. Doctor Williams was used to both of their personalities by now and rarely did he have a problem with honest responses, even if they were spoken in a frustrated tone, however, for Sue Ellen, there were still times where she felt the need to clarify things in a politer tone. "I'm sorry, what JR means is…" as she opened her mouth to speak, she was quickly silenced by the looks the two men were giving her. In a kind, but firm manner, Doctor Williams then interrupted her before she had a chance to finish speaking, "it's ok Sue Ellen, I know what JR meant and I appreciate his honesty and his points. This is a private, safe space, there are no right or wrong answers and unless things begin to get physically dangerous, anything goes. There is no need to be overly polite when there is a more succinct way to say things. So, thank you for coming to your husband's defence, but it's not necessary, I wasn't offended by JR's words, in fact…"

Turning his attention to JR, he continued speaking, "I applaud you and I agree with you. You're right, I did tell Sue Ellen something very similar to what you just said and I understand exactly where you're coming from in regard to your priorities. I think you need to hear it as much, if not more, than anyone else, but I am proud of you for the progress you have made, in your marriage and in your personal life. Don't be fooled into thinking that just because I don't open our meetings asking you about your interactions with your father or Sue Ellen, I don't take note of the things you do tell me. I know it must have taken a fair amount of negotiation, courage and confidence for you to submit your leave application form. You didn't say so, but in the way you and Sue Ellen described yesterday's events, it was obvious that some negotiation and compromising had to be done to come up with the mutually satisfactory agreement you've now agreed to. There was no argument, neither of you are unhappy and although your father may not be thrilled, you still did it and didn't allow the fear of being chastised by him or disappointing him to stop you. I notice your progress and I am very proud of you for your progress; that is the truth. The other side of that truth though is that while I'm sure you're no stranger to speaking first in other situations, in this room, you don't make it very easy for us to discuss things other than many of the issues on Sue Ellen's mind, which at present are related to her mother and your marriage. As you did answer the question honestly and succinctly though, and since you did ask and it is a completely understandable topic for you to want to discuss, let's now put talk of Patricia behind us and instead focus on the good things. I can name a number of things in your life that I think are worthy, positive topics, however, the floor is all yours; what would you like to start with?"

Watching as the two men made and maintained eye contact as Doctor Williams spoke, Sue Ellen held her breath for a moment as she waited for JR to react. Doctor Williams was an interesting man, his education and experience indicated he knew the best way to handle his patients, however, there were times when he was speaking to JR that she was never too sure whether his methods would work; this time was no different. Either JR would be thrilled that someone was finally giving him the attention and credit for his efforts that he deserved, or, he would be angry with the doctor for assuming he knew anything about him, even if the truth was, he did have a fairly good understanding of him. Looking at JR, she anxiously waited for any indication of his thoughts, silently cursing him for having such a good poker face from years of business negotiation experience. She wanted to know what was going on in his head as it happened, but she would have to wait for him to react in some way before she knew anything, because as it was, his expression and body language revealed nothing except that he was listening and carefully considering everything Doctor Williams was saying.

To be continued…


	467. Encouragement

**Dallas, Texas**

"Sue Ellen, I don't know where you found that man, but I feel very sorry for his wife; it must be exhausting having him psychoanalysing everything. She probably thinks twice about everything she does. I imagine that if she chooses to cook steak for dinner, he has questions about how she made the decision. Or let's say she wants to paint the house blue, he probably questions whether she's feeling down, because blue is a sad colour so she must be depressed. Those are trivial things, I can't even imagine the drama and questioning that must ensue after a phone call or visit from her family, or worse, if she actually has real concerns to deal with. The man finds meaning in things that just aren't that complicated, it's strange, it's like he doesn't believe that some decisions can be made without regard to other people. I can't believe he really thinks everything in my life relates back to my relationship with daddy, or that I really need a pat on the back for basic achievements, and I cannot believe how nosy he is. Remind me to take another look at the report I had done on him; I need to make sure he really did graduate from medical school…"

Listening to JR ranting as they walked into the parking lot after their appointment with Doctor Williams, Sue Ellen had to try hard to keep from laughing; she knew her husband well, he wasn't angry, he was just nettled; Doctor Williams interacted with him in ways he wasn't used to with other people and it was unsettling for him. He didn't enjoy having to answer to anyone about why he did things, and he found it uncomfortable to talk about his emotional side, especially when that talking involved another man identifying and congratulating him on his progress and efforts. Despite his conflictions though, she knew most of the reason for why he acted the way he did was because it was uncomfortable for him to acknowledge how accurately the doctor could read him and it was uncomfortable for him to acknowledge that it was nice to hear that someone was proud of him, even if it wasn't his father. He had already softened his public image considerably in showing that he was capable of being much more than a philandering, ruthless businessman; he could be and was a faithful, loving husband and father while maintaining control of his company and associates that could be of use to him. He was strong, but that didn't mean he didn't have weaknesses. It wasn't fun to have another man identify that small things like discussing vacation time with his wife, or telling his father that he was an adult who was in control of his own life, could be such sources of confliction and anxiety and that when it was acknowledged that he had succeeded and made someone proud, he was happy. He didn't like feeling like he wasn't the most powerful person in the room, Sue Ellen and Doctor Williams both knew that; neither one of them purposely set out to make him feel self-conscious, he did that to himself and most of the time, like now, he worked himself into a mess of emotion for no real reason at all.

On that note, Sue Ellen really did feel bad for her husband, his self-consciousness wasn't entertaining in the slightest, she empathised with his position greatly and she was truly proud of him for continuing to work with her and Doctor Williams. What did entertain her though was the manner in which he chose to express his feelings. As far as she was aware, his rant about Doctor Williams' home life was based more on what he imagined than what was actually true, and it was funny to see just where his mind went with his thoughts. Additionally, while she felt the need to scold him a little for the fact that at some point he had clearly distrusted the doctor enough to have his men look into his background, she couldn't help but laugh at how over the top his reaction was when it came to questioning his methods. Whether he liked to admit it or not, Doctor Williams had helped them and their marriage a lot and while it was true that he never went out of his way to mention exactly what academic or scientific theories and methods he was basing his thoughts and recommendations on, she had no doubt his education and professional experience was real.

As they reached their cars, Sue Ellen suddenly felt less like laughing and more inclined to hold and comfort her husband; he was annoyed and was ranting about everything and nothing, but deeper than that, he was emotionally vulnerable. Reaching out to take hold of his hand, she was pleased when he stopped and turned toward her rather than agitatedly shrugged off her contact. "JR, calm down, please. I know you find Doctor Williams' directness affronting sometimes, but I don't think he means anything negatively. As I said when we were discussing it with him, I think you deserve to be happy and if you just allow yourself to accept that other people do see you as a good man, a man that makes an effort and deserves praise for those efforts, you really would be happier. I think sometimes you forget that you're not alone in feeling the way you do. You're not the only one with a parent who never truly expressed anything meaningful or complimentary toward you and it's absolutely not a failure to be angry, confused and frustrated about how it feels to have a parent like that, or how it feels to have such a reaction to hearing someone else express those things toward you".

"I know you don't think some of the things we discuss with Doctor Williams are any of his business and I know you find it uncomfortable when he expresses an opinion different to what you were expecting in reaction to some of the topics discussed, but I want you to remember that your feelings aren't wrong or weak. It's ok to feel two conflicting feelings; for example, when you're clearly bashful about his compliments, but also angry and embarrassed that you're so bashful and angry that the compliments you deserve are coming from a therapist rather than the man you wish would say them, your father. It's ok to feel that way, I don't think any less of you because you have feelings and aren't stoic all the time. I love you, all of you and I don't enjoy seeing you struggle with keeping your feelings inside you, or struggling with the idea that you even have feelings in the first place. I know you're all wound up by what Doctor Williams was saying in there before we moved on to discussing our vacation plans, but please, don't feel that you have to stay so 'strong' and silent about what's really on your mind. I'm here for you, I want to listen to you and I want to help you, but I need you to be open and honest with me too. Don't hold back, say it to me, I won't judge you or belittle you; you're angry with your father and you're annoyed with Doctor Williams for reminding you of your issues with your father, it's not something to be ashamed of and it's not something you need to hide or divert attention from. You and I have had a lot of very similar experiences and I know for a fact that having you around to support me has helped me immensely; now I want to do the same thing for you. We don't have to get ahead of ourselves and deal with your father as we did my mother, but please, just let me in to your thoughts and let me help you; I promise, you'll feel so much better if you do".

Hoping she wasn't being too forward and that her assumptions were at least close to what was really bothering him, she then stepped closer to him, wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly before loosening her grip and then tilting her head up to kiss him. She wanted to be a good wife and friend to him and she wanted him to allow her to be those things. Doctor Williams could offer them a great deal of help if he would let him in to his life completely, but she knew that more than Doctor Williams' professional opinion and recommendations, it would be her and JR's individual and combined efforts that helped them improved themselves and their relationship with each other. She just wanted them to be happy, but to do that, they had to work hard and work together.

To be continued…


	468. Hostess

**Dallas, Texas**

Looking in her rear-view mirror as she drove along the long, straight street toward her home, Sue Ellen's mind and stomach flip-flopped between feeling nervous and happy as she and spotted the five cars following her lead. After her and John Ross' mommy and me playgroup earlier in the morning, she had taken the initiative to politely offer her home for their usual post-playgroup social hour. It seemed only fair that she give something in return for all of the times the other ladies had hosted the group, but more than that, after months, and honestly, probably years, of feeling a bit sad, unenthusiastic and lost, she was now ready to re-enter the world and this felt like one way of doing so. She had already begun making a real effort to get involved in charity work, to form bonds and begin to make friends with the women in her mother and baby group, and to separate herself from the negative people in her life, but she had to keep pushing herself forward. She had cut contact with her mother and while it had at first been a confusing and upsetting reality, she was beginning to come to terms with it and couldn't deny that it felt good to be free. In recent months too, she had only attended DOA events that truly meant something to her, and now, she was completely committed to dedicating as much of herself as she could on the days she was scheduled to work at the women's charity she had found her place in. Once or twice a week too, she made an effort to spend time with Lucy, with or without John Ross, because after being in her life for more than five years, they'd formed a bond and Lucy had made it clear that she couldn't deal with the pain of another adult abandoning her, even if abandonment wasn't Sue Ellen's intention. She had never stopped loving being a mother, and while being a wife had been difficult at times, she now felt completely confident and happy in that role too, so combined with her individual activities and commitments, and putting aside her feelings regarding some of the tough things she and JR were working through with Doctor Williams, she felt good.

The nervousness she was experiencing came from a different area inside her. She was nervous about hosting a group of women in her home because she hadn't properly hosted anyone in so long, and in her and JR's new home, she had never hosted anyone but family, so she felt a little bit out of practice in that respect, but more than that, she was nervous because she couldn't control everything. She had known the other mothers in the playgroup for a few months now and there had only been a few times where she had felt out of place, but still, the one moment where she had really realised just how different her life was to many people's was still fresh in her mind. She was a wife, a mother and a woman, but she was also married to one of the wealthiest men in Texas and even if that didn't affect her thoughts, it certainly had an impact on the lifestyle available to her. She didn't have the same domestic or financial struggles as some of the other women and she hoped that her friendly personality and lack of superior attitude would be remembered when they were confronted with the reality of how she lived. Of course, she remembered her early sessions with Doctor Williams, so she knew it was silly to be so concerned about something that hadn't happened yet, she wasn't sure would happen, and she had no real control over, however that didn't eliminate her nervousness entirely. She was different now, she was stronger and she wouldn't allow her negative feelings to control her like she had in the past; she would try her hardest to make sure things worked in her favour, but if they didn't, no longer would she allow her entire outlook on life be affected. She was a new version of herself and she did not intend to return to her old state of mind.

A few minutes later, after turning onto her long, tree lined driveway, and parking in her usual spot, Sue Ellen swallowed her nervousness and turned her attention back to the task at hand. She was an excellent mother and was well capable of being an excellent host and friend; so really, there was nothing for her to worry about regarding her own behaviour. On the other side of the situation, if she was as kind and welcoming as she wanted to be and she knew was acceptable, and other women still judged her and decided they didn't want to be friends with her because of everything she had, then she didn't really want their friendship anyway. As an eligible young woman, as Miss Texas and even as Mrs JR Ewing, she had made more than enough insincere social connections and she had no desire to make any more; she wanted friends, real ones, and she hoped her work so far would help fulfil her wish.

"Please, make yourselves at home. I'll just go and speak to Francisca about preparing some tea", welcoming Kathy, Susan, Carol, Nancy and their respective babies into her home, Sue Ellen showed them to the living room before excusing herself for a moment. Carrying John Ross with her, she smiled to herself as she walked into the kitchen and found Francisca paging through recipe books and making notes on a small notepad; over the short period they had known each other, she had come to appreciate Francisca's cooking talents and passion for trying new things; she and JR never went hungry. "Good morning Mrs Ewing", feeling comforted by the familiarity and friendliness in Francisca's voice, Sue Ellen felt at ease as she responded, bringing her housekeeper up to speed, "good morning Francisca", allowing John Ross to murmur a few sounds of agreement, she then continued, "we have a few guests joining us today. Would you please prepare some tea and use the special tea set, the one I told you I received as a gift at my bridal shower; I don't think we'll run out of topics to talk about, but if we do, at least that set has a story attached to it". Realising she probably sounded crazy, because she was once again assuming the worst, she then quickly informed Francisca of the number of guests they had, thanked her and then left the room before she let her mind and mouth start rambling again.

In the living room, in the absence of their host, after making a few observant comments, but then choosing to refrain from focusing on their surroundings, the four young women chatted comfortably amongst themselves; they had known each other for a good few months and were not strangers in each other's lives. As Sue Ellen re-entered the room though, it became apparent that the ease of conversation and the understanding they all had with each other was something they now questioned when it came to their individual and collective relationships with her. It was easier to forget or ignore that Sue Ellen was married to one of Texas' wealthiest men and didn't truly live the same type of life as the rest of them when they were all firmly on common ground, rather than when, like now, they were all faced with an explicit picture of what that status actually meant. Surrounded by acres and acres of beautiful Texan land, inside her large, beautifully restored and elegantly decorated home, Sue Ellen's hair seemed a little shinier, her smile a little brighter and her clothes a little more expensive and fashionable than when she was sitting on the floor in a community hall, singing and playing with her young son. It was always obvious that she had money and it never really came as a surprise to hear that with her grace and beauty, she was a former Miss Texas, but until now, to the women in the playgroup, the presence of the Ewing wealth in Sue Ellen's life hadn't been quite so obvious.

Watching Sue Ellen as she gave John Ross a kiss before she set him down with the other children and quietly took her place with the rest of the adults, it was obvious to all four women that the answer to their unspoken questions about whether Sue Ellen Ewing was hiding a part of herself was no. She was a wealthy, very privileged woman and there was no way she could truly empathise with some of their struggles, however, when it came to the reason why they were all gathered together and when it came to actually connecting on a human level with each other, she really wasn't that different. "Sue Ellen, your home is absolutely stunning, thank you for inviting us", making the first move, Kathy hoped none of her previous judgemental thoughts were obvious in her tone; she really did like Sue Ellen and she would hate to upset her, especially in such a hypocritical manner. If she acted as though she were superior to Sue Ellen because she made her way through life's challenges with less money and privilege than Sue Ellen did, but Sue Ellen didn't hold the same opinion, that she was better than anyone else, then really, she was the one in the wrong. She wanted things to go well and for their common ground to develop into something more, irrespective of their different backgrounds, and from Sue Ellen's friendly, familiar demeanour, that was all she really wanted too.

To be continued…


	469. Afternoon Delight

**Dallas, Texas**

Closing his car door and walking toward the house, JR grinned to himself as the front door opened and his wife appeared; she was waiting for him, with a drink in hand, prepared just as he liked it. Subconsciously sensing that she wanted something more than to just talk and relax in the way they usually did when he returned home from work, he walked a little faster and wasn't disappointed when he did eventually reach her. Handing him the drink, taking his attaché case and leaning up to give him a slow, lingering kiss, Sue Ellen then took his hand and led them into the house. Removing his hat and taking a sip of his drink, he admired her long legs and slender, but curvy figure, as she walked over to the door of their home office, opened it and placed his attaché case inside before turning and gracefully, but determinedly walking back toward him. Swallowing the remnants of his drink, he was very pleasantly surprised when she gently removed the glass from his hand, placed it on the entry hall table and wrapped her arms around his neck. Whispering "welcome home" in a tone that left little doubt as to her mood, she then closed the gap between them.

Allowing her to take the lead, because he knew what was happening but didn't really know what had spurred her actions, he only thought to pull away momentarily when he felt his body reacting to her touch. "Sue Ellen… John Ross?" knowing where things were heading and not wanting to get too carried away or have their actions disrupted, because it was traditionally the time of day where their son needed their attention, he pulled away momentarily to gauge exactly what was going on. "Don't worry, he's sleeping. He had a wonderful afternoon with the other children from the playgroup, so wonderful that he missed his usual naptime and I only just put him down. He was exhausted; I don't think he'll wake up anytime soon". Listening to his wife's explanation, but only really comprehending half of it, JR didn't even bother asking whether there was a reason for her extreme happiness and eagerness, she was happy and eager and that was good enough for him. They could talk later, it would probably be better anyway, because right now he could barely concentrate on anything other than the physical excitement she was dangling in front of him. Making a sound to let her know he had heard her, he then closed the space between them, kissing her passionately and gently walking her backward toward the stairs.

Closing their bedroom door behind them, Sue Ellen felt giddy with excitement as she and JR finally entered a completely private space. Realistically, their whole home was private at the moment, Francisca was out running errands and Mrs Smith, John Ross' baby nurse, wasn't a fulltime employee, so she and JR could have done what they were about to do anywhere in the house. With the slight time constraint due to the possibility of John Ross awaking, and the very slim, but still possible imminent return of Francisca though, the bedroom had been the unspoken agreed space to continue their actions. They would christen every room in the house one day, they had already made a start, but today would not be the day they added any new locations to the list of intimate places in their home. That wasn't a problem though, in fact, as far as she was concerned right now, there were no problems; she was extremely content, not just because her husband was lavishing her with some of the most stimulating, but relaxing, attention he could give her, but because everything else in her life seemed to be falling into place. Apart from worrying about JR's unresolved issues with his father and the pressure he was under at Ewing Oil to ensure the business maintained its profitability and competitive edge, she felt good; she was relaxed, happy and ready to take control back of her life. Her morning socialisation with the playgroup ladies had lasted much longer than planned because everyone was enjoying themselves so much, and her other activities and commitments seemed to all be falling into place. Additionally, after having it out with her mother, telling her all about her feelings and then letting go of the way she had felt when she had received such a negative reaction, she felt free. Then, with JR's commitment to making the final weekend of every month something special, plus his commitment to a few days away together for their anniversary next month and a family vacation in the summer, and just the general way their relationship and home life was nowadays, she was happy, very happy.

Feeling JR's hands skimming her thighs under her skirt before feeling the small gush of air that came as a result of him releasing the clasp holding the ends of the fabric together, Sue Ellen put her own hands to work, firstly to untuck his shirt, then to unbuckle his belt. From their mutual actions and individual physical responses, there was no question as to where they were heading or how they both felt about it, and moments later, after achieving their initial goal, ridding themselves of most of their clothing, she let out a small gasp as JR moved things along. She was very comfortable with her husband now, and she felt that she knew most parts of him quite intimately, however, it never failed to surprise and thrill her when she realised how comfortable he was with her, how intimately he knew her body and how willing her was to please her. It had taken them longer than it should have to verbally and physically communicate their wants and needs to each other, and it had taken them much too long to make the next move in their relationship, properly starting their married life on their own, away from distractions and stressors, but now that they were here, she had no regrets.

She loved the way they were together emotionally, but just as much, she loved their physical closeness and understanding too. She had kept a promise to herself, her mother and her future husband that she would remain pure until marriage, so she couldn't really objectively say JR's touch was like no other man's, because she didn't know, but to her, that's exactly what it felt like. JR had a way with words, he could send shivers up her spine just by speaking; more than just verbally communicating with her though, he knew how to command her full attention with the smallest of gestures. He could bring goose bumps to the surface of her skin just by touching her and when he was focused on bringing her pleasure, she felt powerless to resist him. With her thoughts racing through her mind and her senses overwhelmed by the feeling of JR running his fingertips down her body, trailing his path with his mouth, gently nipping at her skin, she let out a small sigh of pleasure. Silently acknowledging to herself that her plan to seduce her husband had flipped and she was now the one being seduced, she had no complaints. JR was very good at what he was doing and she was thoroughly enjoying where he was taking his actions, so she may have failed in her plan, but she was still winning, because all she had wanted when she had initiated their actions earlier was something like this.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: No chapter tomorrow. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	470. Reflection

**Dallas, Texas**

Shaking his head, sighing and then folding his newspaper, JR was thankful for the distraction Sue Ellen and John Ross provided as they entered the dining room for breakfast. The economy was showing no signs of improving, so his day at the office was sure to be full of repetitive, pessimistic conversations with his father, however, as John Ross' happy babbling and Sue Ellen's satisfied smile reminded him, things weren't all bad.

In his personal life, he was happy; being an attentive, hands-on father and faithful, loving husband was a departure from the life he had lived for so many years, but after experiencing what it was like to not have Sue Ellen, and in turn, not have anything meaningful or positive in his life, he knew something had to change. It had taken a lot of hard work, with a number of people in his life, including his wife, his father, and Doctor Williams, however, now that he and Sue Ellen had talked through their problems, made new commitments and changed the fundamental way their marriage worked, he finally felt like they were on the right path. He couldn't deny though that alongside understanding and respect, his and Sue Ellen's redefined sexual relationship was one of the keys to success in their relationship. He had been a stupid, selfish man in the beginning of his marriage, there had never been any real reason for him to seek other women to satisfy his 'needs' because as Sue Ellen had proven many times over, she was happy and willing to do almost anything with him, all she wanted in return was his love and fidelity. He couldn't be solely blamed for the miscommunication during their early marriage, because Sue Ellen' submissive attitude toward her marital role had held her back from making many direct moves to change things, but he knew now that he could have avoided a lot of heartbreak by just being open and honest with his wife. Now though, they were in a much better place than they had been a year ago and he didn't intend to do anything to jeopardise the progress they had made; his family was happy and nothing was worth risking losing that happiness.

In conjunction with his personal happiness and satisfaction, while he had a few concerns regarding business and his professional reputation, for the most part, he was very happy with where he was now. He was the vice president and guaranteed future president of Ewing Oil and despite what he father seemed to believe, they were still turning a profit and they still carried a lot of clout. The country relied on oil and although they were heading toward a predicted supply crisis and unstable economy, he truly believed Ewing Oil was strong enough to pull through and come out on top when things did inevitably improve. He wasn't an optimist, he was too smart for that, he just truly believed he was right and he had prepared the company properly for what was coming. He was confident and he wished his father would clear his mind, look at the situation again and see things his way; thus far though, that hadn't happened and although he was always up for a debate, he was getting tired of the back and forth between them. Right now, Sue Ellen's insistence that they take a one weekend a month to get away from it all seemed mighty appealing and he was glad she had been proactive and had Diane make a note of their planned getaways. Their time, as a couple and as a family, was precious to him, because with everything he was responsible for and the way he liked to stay informed about what was going on around him, even if he wasn't directly involved, his free time was scarce. It was tough making sure everything he valued received the correct amount of attention, but he had never been afraid of or discouraged by hard work, especially because in the end, the hard work was worth it.

Observing the scene in front of her, Sue Ellen felt a little conflicted. She was extremely happy and satisfied with her life now that the drama with her mother was calming down and she was free to focus on the rest of her family and her activities; but at the same time, it was clear to her that something was bothering JR and she wanted to help him work through whatever it was. Leaning down to allow John Ross to reach out and touch his father while he happily babbled repetitive sounds, she felt a little better when it became clear to her that whatever was on JR's mind had nothing to do with their family. She and JR had had a very enjoyable evening the previous night and if their actions earlier in the morning were indicative of anything, the loving, happy, relaxed mood they'd been in had not gone anywhere, that is, until they separated for a few minutes before breakfast. From JR's sigh and the folded newspaper next to him, she had a feeling she knew what was bothering him; they were the same things that had been bothering him for a while: the economy, Ewing Oil's stability and pleasing his father. It saddened her a little that he put so much pressure on himself to succeed in the oil business, because he was so much more than just an oilman, but she understood why he wanted to succeed in the oil business. He was a brilliant businessman, with both personal and side business investments and projects, however, Ewing Oil was his father's legacy and the legacy he wanted to leave for John Ross, so to succeed and make his father proud of him now seemed extremely important to him. He didn't like losing and he wasn't an inept businessman, so it wasn't fair to say his want was entirely symbolic, because it was partially financially driven, however, knowing JR and his relationship with Jock, and knowing how sure he was that his plan for Ewing Oil was going to work, she knew whatever was bothering him was largely personal. The specifics of what was in the newspaper were unknown to her, but she knew enough of the situation to know that if JR wanted to talk about it, he wouldn't need her to understand the intricacies of the situation, just the way it made him feel. Of course, he would never come out and just tell her he felt hurt by Jock's lack of active listening, he wasn't big into initiating conversations about emotions, but she knew, and she knew what he really needed from her was to keep doing exactly what she was already doing. The way his face lit up seeing her and John Ross, the way he reacted to her efforts the previous evening, the way he participated in their sessions with Doctor Williams, and his continued effort in their marriage told her everything she needed to know. He was happy to have her as his wife, and she was happy to be his wife, in any and every way he needed her.

To be continued…


	471. Giving

**Dallas, Texas**

Jotting down a few notes about the individual pieces of clothing and how to pair them up, Sue Ellen then turned her attention back to her final client of the morning, Sandy, a fresh-faced, recently employed young lady who was looking for a little guidance and help gathering a wardrobe for her new job. It wasn't that she was entirely clueless or unable to afford anything nice, she was just young, a bit naïve and not in a financial position to purchase a whole wardrobe of professional clothing. After listening to Sandy's needs and wants, Sue Ellen had then done what she did best in the organization, selected clothing that would remedy the situation at hand and make Sandy feel good, and now, with a few piles of clothing in front of them, everything seemed much clearer and less stressful. "…I know it can be daunting when you're faced with so many individual items and many of them look as if they need to be paired with something that matches exactly, but do you see now why you don't have to be so worried? You can base your outfits off the way store mannequins and catalog models are dressed, but you don't have to follow those ideas so strictly that they dictate exactly the way you dress. Remember too that the majority of the time you're more conscious of being repetitive and boring in your clothing choices than other people are, especially in an office where most people are sitting at desks, focusing on their work, not walking around making conversation about fashion. Your boss will notice if you're dresses sloppily, and if he's anything like some of the men I've met, he'll also notice if you're dressed in a manner that draws too much attention to your assets, however, in my experience, he won't particularly notice the actual items of clothing you're wearing. Female co-workers are a little different, they may take more notice of the look you're going for, but they too probably won't care too much, especially if you're all being paid around the same amount, they'll understand why you're not able to show up in something completely new and exciting each week; it's just not realistic. Using the mono-coloured skirts, pants and cardigans, and the patterned blouses we've selected, you can make a number of different outfits and I promise, no one will notice or care that you're wearing the same pieces over and over. You'll see, you'll start your new job next week and soon enough all of the stress and worry you're feeling now will subside. You have clothes now, and I hope I've taught you enough to know what to look for when you do start to make a little money and can afford to buy a few new pieces. Work is work though, you don't have to dress as if you're trying to grab people's attention, you just have to look tidy and professional, and with a few key pieces and a little bit of knowledge, you can do just that".

Handing Sandy the neatly folded pile of donated clothing and the notes she had written to accompany the pieces, Sue Ellen felt the beginnings of a familiar rush of emotion. "Thank you Sue Ellen. I was so unsure when I arrived this morning, but you've really helped me. I don't know why you're working here and not at a department store as a personal shopper or something like that, because you're really talented and if I had the money, I would pay for your help, but whatever your reason for doing this voluntarily, thank you". From the young woman's words and the way she was looking at her, it was obvious that the assistance she had given her had had the desired effect, and really, that was all she wanted. Her individual charity work wasn't like being a member of the DOA, she did it because she wanted to and she expected no brownie points or monetary reward in return; the thankful comments, clear happiness and obvious gratefulness for her time and attention she received from the individual women she was helping was enough for her. She didn't need JR, Miss Ellie, Doctor Williams, her mother, the DOA ladies or anyone else to pat her on the back and tell her she was a nice person for helping those less fortunate than herself; the way doing something kind and useful made her feel was a reward in itself.

"You're welcome, and thank you. I do this voluntarily because I want to; it pleases me greatly when I receive feedback like that though". She didn't feel like elaborating on why working in a department store had never been a real option for her, so she brushed past it and luckily Sandy didn't seem to notice. Chatting for a little longer and then concluding their conversation, Sue Ellen smiled to herself as she headed back to the stock room. Feeling needed and appreciated was a wonderful feeling and she was glad she had taken steps toward involving herself in things that boosted her self-esteem and happiness rather than sticking with things that were safe, but gave her little to truly enjoy or challenge herself. Despite being in a position that provided her many opportunities and avenues to socialise, her early marriage had been very lonely and despite Miss Ellie's best intentions, becoming more involved in DOA work hadn't truly provided her with the happiness and satisfaction she craved. She was lucky now, she had found happiness in her family, her activities, both individual and group, and the new friendships she was forming, so she no longer relied heavily on one particular person or thing to notice and compliment her efforts in order for her to feel needed and wanted. Change was good and she was very glad to no longer feel insecure about who she was, how she felt and how other people perceived her; she was Sue Ellen Ewing, wife, mother, daughter-in-law, sister, aunt, friend, volunteer, and many other things, but most of all, she was herself, independent of titles or adjectives; she felt secure, happy and free.

An hour later, after unpacking and sorting some newly delivered donated clothing, saying goodbye to her co-workers and leaving the building, Sue Ellen sighed happily to herself as she pulled into a grocery store parking lot. She, JR and John Ross were set to leave Dallas to head up to the lake house later in the afternoon and since she was already in town, it seemed only logical that she purchase the food and other supplies herself now. Entering the store and walking up and down the aisles, she couldn't help but laugh at how much she was enjoying herself. With Teresa and Francisca around to do the majority of the domestic tasks required to run a home, including running errands to purchase food and household items, it had been years since she had done any serious form of grocery shopping, so to do so now seemed like a novelty, even though the task itself was fairly basic and uninteresting. She didn't care too much that it was a silly thing for her to enjoy though, that was the beauty of Doctor Williams' teachings, she knew now that was allowed to feel however she wanted without also feeling bad or guilty about her feelings. Accepting that although she loved being her own person, she also loved being a wife and mother, she then happily continued her route around the store, selecting the things she wanted and the things she knew JR and John Ross would enjoy. They were going to spend the weekend away from Dallas and the stress of real life, and they were going to enjoy it.

To be continued…


	472. Be Careful What You Wish For

**Dallas, Texas**

Changing clothes in preparation for pre-dinner cocktails, Jock briefly stopped and looked at his wife in annoyance and frustration as she announced that once again, their eldest son and his family would not be joining them. "More time away? They're breaking their end of the bargain and I don't like it. I distinctly remember the plan to move out of Southfork was presented as an opportunity for all of us to grow closer. There were promises of attending family dinners a few times a week, and assurances that they wouldn't be strangers around here and would make sure that John Ross didn't lose his connection to our familial home and land, but from my perspective, it appears that all of those things were just hollow words. How are we supposed to be involved in their lives when they make it clear that there are boundaries when it comes to us visiting their home, and they show no interest in returning to our home? It was nice to be invited to dinner last week, but that was a week ago and when you add their absence from Dallas this weekend and what will probably end up being another week of separate dinners next week, before you know it, it will have been two weeks since we all spent time together as a family. Are we really going to pretend that everything is fine and we're still just as close and just as much on the same page as each other as we were before? I hope not, because clearly that's not true".

"Seeing each other every day at the office is not the same thing as seeing each other for family dinner, especially when nowadays, time at the office seems to be interrupted more and more often by those damn therapy sessions and couples lunches. Did you know JR has applied for twelve days leave this year? That includes a whole week in July; a whole week at the beginning of the new fiscal year where we're traditionally very busy. I don't know how things are going to turn out economically this year, it's not looking good at the moment, but I can't be certain it will be terrible, however, in any case, Ewing Oil needs its employees to be on top of things, not upping and leaving, deserting the company when it's time to do some work. Add to that too, Bobby splitting his time between being on the road, working the ranch and showing his face at the office; this family is falling apart and Ewing Oil is suffering too".

Seeing his wife taking a deep breath, preparing to respond, Jock hurriedly began to speak again; he wasn't finished saying what he had to say and after months of holding his tongue when it came to his son and daughter-in-law's life choices, he had finally had enough and would not be silenced until he had said his piece. "Now, before you claim I'm being unfair and treating JR like a child, I can't deny that JR needed the reality check his wife leaving him gave him, but come on, this is just ridiculous. There is a difference between being in a happy, loving, committed marriage and being in an obsessive, single-minded marriage. Those two can't seem to stay away from each other and it's affecting the whole family. My grandson needs to know he has a grandfather, grandmother, uncle and cousin living just a few miles down the street from him, but the way things are going I fear he won't understand any of that…" Shaking his head, he internally shuddered at the thought of John Ross growing up without a strong connection to Southfork land, or a proper understanding of what it meant to be part of the Ewing family; it wasn't right and somebody needed to say it. Unfortunately for him, it was clear from his wife's facial expression that he was not just going to get what he wanted.

"Jock…" silently closing her eyes and shaking her head, Miss Ellie took a moment to compose herself before responding to her husband. Like Jock, she had a strong opinion on the issue at hand, however, unlike Jock, her opinion was much less selfish. She was old fashioned though, she didn't want to completely emasculate her husband by cutting every one of his thoughts down to size; however, it also didn't mean she was prepared to just grin and bear his ridiculous thoughts. "With all due respect Jock, I disagree. We've waited years for this to happen and now that it has, we should be happy about it, not trying to interfere and change things again. You may not have seen how fragile Sue Ellen was during those first few years of marriage, but I did, and it was heartbreaking. Pushing JR into marriage and fatherhood before he was ready was a huge mistake on our part. Now that he's finally realised what actually means something to him though, I fully support him, even if it means a few less hours as a whole family".

"As for JR taking leave, I understand your annoyance when it comes to needing him for work purposes, but please, do remember that you equally agreed to everything in his employment contract, including the days he is legally entitled to take. As well as that, please, at least try to have a little empathy. Do you remember when you and I were first married? I don't know if you noticed, but I would have loved for us to take a few days away every once in a while. They're a young couple, they want to enjoy each other and their son, sometimes with us and sometimes without us; it doesn't mean they love us any less though. I agree, they could make more of an effort to participate in full family dinners and other events, but at the same time, if it means that much to you, why don't you do something about it yourself? I don't mean strong-arming JR into working more to prove his dedication to Ewing Oil, or inviting him and Sue Ellen to dinner in a manner that gives him no other choice but to say yes; I mean do something to show you care and you genuinely want to spend time together. I personally think I have a wonderful relationship with John Ross, _our grandson_; that relationship takes work and trust though. You can't just try to force JR and Sue Ellen to do things the exact way you want them done, we're too far past that kind of relationship for that to even be something you think is a good idea. If you want to see JR and John Ross more often then you need to offer to spend time with them, even if that time doesn't involve the entire family coming together. John Ross loves the horses and animals on the ranch; offer to take him down there to visit them, and at the same time, talk to JR, but don't force him into something he doesn't want to do. He'll happily hand John Ross the carrots to feed the horses, but he's not particularly fond of actually feeding them himself. If that's not something either of you want to do, find something else; John Ross is a baby, he enjoys simple things and he's not that difficult to entertain; JR is a little more complicated, but he's your son and you've spent enough time together over the last three decades that you can surely think of something to do together".

"I think you're being unreasonable expecting JR and Sue Ellen to make all the effort and the effort to be the exact things you want to do; I think you need to be more flexible and I really do believe that if you are, things will start to come together again. You're always saying power is something you take, but I think you need to reassess that statement; this isn't about power, it's about family, and family is all about giving and taking. You cannot expect JR to cede control to you when it comes to his family or his time; you know he's an adult, and in my eyes, he's doing what we've always wanted him to do and that's something to be proud of, not something to get upset about. I think you should be honest with him and then suggest starting small; don't ambush him with your ideas and don't force him into things he doesn't want to do, that method is dangerous. Tell him you understand that he wants to be a good husband and father, but tell him that you too want to do the same thing, and then start a conversation about how to find a new balance. I don't think either he or Sue Ellen mean to brush off our invitations, I think they're simply caught up in how happy and good their lives are now and how much they want things to remain that way".

Trying hard to remain calm and collected, Miss Ellie waited with bated breath for her husband's response. She didn't want to argue with him, but he was so clueless sometimes; JR and Sue Ellen were finally happy together and he seemed annoyed about it. Moreover, for some strange reason, in this situation, he seemed completely oblivious to the concept of making the first move, which if she knew him, he wasn't. If he wanted to have a relationship with his son and grandson, then he needed to make an effort, because she did, and she thought her relationship with John Ross and Sue Ellen was excellent, and even her relationship with JR was closer now than it had been throughout his childhood and early adulthood. She had to be cautious too though, she knew that; she couldn't and wouldn't allow him to drive JR and Sue Ellen away like he had Gary; she cared too much about her family to deal with another loss like that again. Jock was delusional though if he truly believed JR spending time with his wife and son was a terrible tragedy for anyone; it was what they had been waiting for for years, she just wished he could see it that way.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: No chapter tomorrow. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	473. Quiet Night

**Denison, Texas**

"I'm sorry darlin', am I boring you?" observing Sue Ellen yawning, again, JR wasn't sure what to think. He was well aware that nobody was as interested in Ewing Oil as he and his father were, so he did try to limit the amount of ranting and recapping he did about the specific things that happened at work. He had to tell someone how he felt though, otherwise he would end up venting his frustration in all the wrong places and that was not the way of life he wanted to return to. When it came to their current after dinner conversation though, he didn't think he'd spoken about any one topic too much. In fact, as far as their time together this evening had gone, their attention had mostly been geared toward John Ross' needs and unpacking their things before they finally got a minute to themselves to actually have a proper, focused conversation, so surely she wasn't already bored with hearing about his day? As he thought about it though, he was failing to come up with anything other than business talk that would bore her enough to make her yawn, so it had to be that; unless there was something she wasn't telling him?

"No, of course not JR. I'm sorry, it's not you, it's me; I'm just tired. I don't want to complain, because you work much harder than I do and you don't have a choice about your work, but honestly, I'm exhausted. Don't get me wrong, it's a good exhausted; I'm very grateful that I am able to choose what I do with my time and I'm very happy to be here with you, it's just, I suppose I've had a busy week, and then this evening with John Ross being so restless, it's all beginning to catch up to me". Listening to his wife answering his question and apologising, JR found it difficult to feel annoyed with her. She was right, she had a lot more choice about how she spent her time, and she did have a lot of help available to her, but as he understood on an empathetic level, she was human, just like he was, and in her world, what she did all day was enough to be exhausting. As Doctor Williams had taught him, life's problems weren't a competition and everyone's feelings were valid; they were both allowed to have equally strong emotions without one necessarily being better or more 'real'. He still wasn't completely convinced by some of the things Doctor Williams preached, but he did know his wife and it wasn't at all unlike her to downplay her own emotions when speaking about them, but to also internalise how they actually affected her. He didn't want to return to the way things had been in their early marriage, where she had been so concerned about being a 'good wife' that she completely disregarded her own mental and emotional health. Because of that, although a part of him wished she would put aside her tiredness and distractedness to focus on his issues, a bigger part of him was just grateful she was actually sharing her thoughts and feelings and that in the grand scheme of things, the issue between them really wasn't a big deal.

"Oh, uh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise. Why don't we finish our drinks and head up to bed?" prior to arriving, he had hoped to have a repeat of yesterday's evening performance, or the way things had been the previous times they had visited the lake house, however, it was now obvious that an early night was for the best. He didn't know the exact details of her day or week, but from what she was telling him now, and what he now realised had been a stressful journey with John Ross, anything even remotely romantic or intimate was the last thing on her mind. If he knew Sue Ellen though, by the time they awoke in the morning, things would be much better.

"That sounds nice. There's no great hurry though; I promise, I'm not so tired that I'm going to fall asleep before you're finished telling me all about your day. Please, continue with your story, I am listening", watching as Sue Ellen then motioned her hand to encourage him to keep talking, JR felt perplexed again. She was confusing sometimes; he often didn't quite understand where her changes in opinion or mood came from, though not understanding everything about her didn't mean he loved her any less. As well as that, while he was confused by the way she acted sometimes, like now, skipping from tired and disinterested to alert and attentive, he couldn't deny that he loved having someone there to listen to his frustrations and give him encouragement, and in this instance, that alone was all it really took for him to continue his story.

"…so he wasn't happy, but that's not the end of the world. We needed this…" ten minutes later, speaking more to himself than Sue Ellen, JR looked at her silently for a moment before quietly standing and leaning down to pick her up off the couch, and in a state she was in, somewhere between sleeping and being awake, she didn't resist. As much as she had tried, it appeared that her need for rest was stronger than her will to listen to him. He was content though, he didn't doubt she loved him and he didn't feel the need to sulk because every second of her day wasn't dedicated to him. He had lived in the past and he had lived in the present and at present, things were good. It was nice to have a wife, a son and a company, even if there were occasionally challenges and not everything was smooth sailing all the time. He was happy and from the peaceful way that Sue Ellen was sleeping, and the way things had been between them recently, he knew she was too.

After carrying her up the stairs and reluctantly rousing her to change out of her nice clothes and into her nightgown, JR couldn't believe how good he felt as she took her rightful place next to him in their bed. There would be plenty of time for them to talk deeply and sexually connect, but now was not that time; now was the time for them to work on a quieter, more emotional connection. There was no way his father would understand why he and Sue Ellen needed so much time for themselves and why they insisted on getting away from Dallas in order to develop a strong relationship with John Ross, but that didn't really matter right now. His father was his boss at work, but he wouldn't be forever, and in his home life, although he hadn't quite managed to set the boundaries Doctor Williams seemed so sure would lift a weight off his shoulders, things were different now to how they had been in the past. There was work to be done and progress to be made yet, but the present looked and felt good and he was glad.

To be continued…


	474. Hindsight

**Denison, Texas**

"I think I owe your daddy an apology", glancing at JR as she placed John Ross' lunch plate on his highchair tray, Sue Ellen couldn't help but smirk at the sound her husband made in response to her statement. "An apology? What for?" caught between choking slightly on his drink and laughing, it was evident in the tone of his reply that he was shocked, slightly confused and intrigued. JR Ewing wasn't an easily shaken man, but the complete randomness of his wife's comment was enough to briefly throw him; he knew Sue Ellen didn't despise his father, but she wasn't his biggest fan either, and to decide out of the blue that she was going to offer him an apology, for anything, just seemed odd to him.

Watching John Ross for a moment to make sure he was safely eating the small pieces of banana and cooked carrot on his plate, Sue Ellen then took her seat and looked at her husband, grinning at the look on his face before she began speaking again. "Well, I hate to say it, but he was right, babies are resilient and adaptable and if they're tired enough, they'll sleep anywhere. John Ross was fussy all the way here yesterday, but he slept just fine last night, and although it took him a little while to adjust to not waking up in his nursery or at Southfork this morning, it seems now that he's as comfortable here as he is at home. I'd like to think that it's completely related to him feeling safe and secure with us, no matter where we are physically located, but I don't know, I get the feeling some of it is just human nature. New things are a little scary at first, and changes to his routine are confusing or irritating, but then he gets used to them and it's not an issue anymore".

"I was just thinking earlier when we were down by the lake, I love our family time at home and I love when we take a few days like this weekend to just relax and take a break from everything back home. That got me thinking about the past though and I realised that perhaps I did overreact a little that first day after we moved out of Southfork; I was so insistent that John Ross sleep in his new nursery at our new home that I ended up upsetting your mama and daddy and for that I do feel bad. I don't think I was completely wrong for being excited about our new home or wanting to set firm boundaries, but in thinking about things in the context of how things are now, I do have some regrets. Heaven knows your father and I don't always agree on things, especially now that you and I have turned over a new leaf and are trying to live as equals in our marriage, but I'm not so self-righteous that I can't admit when I make mistakes. I don't agree that loving John Ross or paying attention to him is in any way harmful or will turn him into a spoiled, selfish, lazy or cowardly person, but I can see now that in some ways my displays of love could be seen as coddling and overprotective. I don't plan to change anything, I think John Ross is developing into a lovely, happy, healthy little boy and while some of that is just who he is by nature, I truly believe a large part of it is the loving and nurturing environment we've created for him".

"All I'm saying is that in that one instance, your daddy was probably right, I was probably being overdramatic, and I didn't react as I should have to that situation, so perhaps I should apologise. I'm not stupid though, I know your daddy, he's not perfect and there are many other things I should not and will not apologise to him for, including 'pressuring' you into taking time away from Ewing Oil to spend with your family, or being steadfast in my opinion that John Ross is an individual and should be treated as such. I can't change the past, especially the past that I am not a part of, like your childhood, but I can apologise for my past mistakes and I can make commitments and change the way I do things and react to things in the future". Attempting to explain what had gone through her mind earlier in the morning, Sue Ellen's mood and tone changed from amused to reflective, and looking straight at JR as she finished speaking, she hoped that even if he didn't completely understand her, he would at least try to respect her opinion.

Looking over at his son as Sue Ellen spoke, JR couldn't help but grin as John Ross babbled a few words as if he knew something was going on and he wanted to make sure he got to voice his opinion on the issue. Nodding at his son and murmuring a few words of agreement, he then turned his attention back toward Sue Ellen, "mm, well, you're a better person than I am, but I don't think that's a secret"; he knew he had a hard enough time admitting there were things he was wrong about, let alone actually apologising for them. "If you're asking for my opinion, I don't think it's necessary to reignite old disagreements, but I know you're not asking for my permission to do so, and even if I told you not to, you'd do what you thought was right anyway, because you are a good person and these things do weigh on your mind. This isn't about me though, not really…"

Reaching over to ruffle John Ross' hair, he then continued to speak, "you're right, John Ross is wonderful, and whether that comes from nature or nurture is almost irrelevant in my opinion; we're responsible for both anyway. John Ross is our son, by nature he's a combination of the two of us, and by nurture what he's learning from us is helping him to develop into the happy, loving, adaptable, resilient, determined little boy that any parent would be proud to call their own". Looking Sue Ellen in the eye as he spoke, he knew his words were affecting her and he felt empowered. It had taken him decades to feel, but in the last few years and especially in the last year he had really come to understand just how wonderful personal success felt and how the things he felt, did and said could influence a situation. Just like Sue Ellen, he hated to admit that his father had had a point years ago, but he now realised that what he had been saying was true; there came a time in a man's life where he had to leave the bachelor lifestyle behind and face up to his responsibilities. Being a husband and a father didn't have to be boring or feel suffocating, life was all about what he made it, and right now, his opinion was that he had made a pretty good life for himself.

"Go ahead, if you think you need to apologise to daddy then do it. I don't think you need to, at the time you said what you said because you really believed it, and I agreed with you. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, there's no point in dwelling too much on things in the past when we're powerless to change it. I think that if you really think it's necessary to apologise though, then you should, for your own peace of mind", looking her in the eye as he spoke, he have her a small, encouraging smile before turning his attention back to John Ross as he let out a happy squeal. He didn't know whether Sue Ellen would understand what he was trying to say, because in all honesty, he didn't quite understand the situation himself, marriage and fatherhood weren't easy and he was still learning; he hoped his good intentions were clear though; he loved Sue Ellen and he wanted her to be happy.

To be continued…


	475. January Rain

**Denison, Texas**

Watching as heavy raindrops pelted the kitchen window, blurring the usually clear view of the lake, Sue Ellen felt herself drifting between consciously thinking and dreamily relaxing. She, JR and John Ross were only seventy miles north of home, but there was something about their surroundings and the atmosphere inside the lake house that made her feel like they were in another world, far away from the one they knew so well. At the lake house, whether it was sunny and warm, or rainy and cold, time seemed to move differently and things that held so much meaning at home seemed to be insignificant or inconsequential. Their last visit had been in the fall and at the time, they hadn't exactly been on the best terms with each other, however, after spending a little bit of time away from Dallas, connecting as a couple and as a family, they had managed to find common ground and had returned home refreshed and ready to tackle their issues. The lake house itself was an inanimate object, it wasn't responsible for fixing anything, but she did credit its location and ambience for assisting change. The first time she and JR had visited was a weekend she would never forget and because of the change that had occurred there and had had an impact on their marriage as a whole, she really did believe the secluded, tranquil, private home and grounds was somewhere very special. At the lake house, business took a backseat, the wider Ewing family became all but a memory, and the slow, sleepy way of life was something to revel in. It was nice to get away from Dallas for a few days and although staying inside the house all day hadn't been something they had planned or expected to do, it didn't bother them either. There was plenty for them to do indoors and as long as the rain didn't turn into anything more severe, the steady, rhythmic thrumming of the rain teeming down onto the roof, the lake and the windows, was very pleasantly relaxing.

Pouring two cups of coffee and mixing a bottle of formula for John Ross, Sue Ellen then neatly placed everything onto a tray and made her way back into the living room, taking a moment to pause and observe the scene before making her presence known. Deep down, she sometimes wondered whether JR was going to wake up one day and decide he was completely bored with being a good husband and father and go back to his old life, however, at moments like this, where he appeared to be genuinely loving the new life they had made for themselves, her insecurities melted away. There was no way John Ross was following the elaborate story his father was telling him verbally and with the assistance of some of his many toys, but looking at JR's facial expression, that small fact didn't really matter. For JR, having his own son to share his life and legacy with was an absolutely joyful experience, even if John Ross was still much too young to understand the significance of his father and grandfather's jobs and how, in a perfect world, he fit into the succession plan. JR was well aware of his wife's steadfast opinion when it came to not forcing John Ross into a career at Ewing Oil and instead allowing him to choose his own path in life, and he agreed with her, but there was nothing wrong with having hope that his son's decision would be to carry on his birthright. On a more basic and presently relevant level, the story of Ewing Oil's origin was an exciting one and even if John Ross didn't really understand, he wasn't stupid; he was able to distinguish tones of voices and he could tell the difference between his father's regular spoken tone and the more enthusiastic, nostalgic tone he was using right now. For Sue Ellen, the scene in front of her wasn't heart-warming because she was particularly enthused about any of the Ewing men involving themselves in the oil industry, an industry where the excitement often came from dangerous situations, but because it was another reminder that she finally had everything she had ever wanted. It was nice to see JR enjoying and embracing fatherhood and it was wonderful to see John Ross thriving because of their interactions with him.

**Dallas, Texas**

Dismounting after a long, physically challenging ride, Bobby patted Ace, his horse, before leading him over to the pond to rehydrate and rest for a few moments. Looking up at the greying sky as he caught his own breath, he was torn, torn between selfishness and doing what was right for everyone. He'd left Southfork earlier for a reason and he had no desire to return too quickly, and in different circumstances, he could have quite happily spent a couple of hours brooding in his childhood treehouse, looking out at the pond and across the vast ranch. As it was though, he knew Ace, he was a loyal, loving companion and for the majority of the year he was a great working horse, however, it was no secret that he was spooked by thunderstorms. With the risk of the greying sky turning into something much more severe than a short rain shower, and the fact that he wasn't a bad person and would never intentionally want to inflict harm or distress on such an innocent, loving creature, the decision was easy, and after taking a few moments to himself, he began his journey back.

An hour later, as heavy rain pelted the roof of the stables, Bobby used slow, deliberate strokes to brush Ace's hair, allowing the repetitive, calm movement to influence his own mood too. It was getting harder and harder to ignore the unpleasant things in his life and he was growing very tired of having to deal with them just because he was the only Ewing son left at Southfork. The reality of the situation at Ewing Oil was that JR had never let him have access to anywhere near enough power or influence for him to be in any way, shape, or form responsible for the challenges they faced now. Even if he had though, it really wasn't fair for his father to try to blame any one person, whether it was him or JR, for what looked to be an industrywide issue and a national economic issue. He was sick of hearing his father talk about every possible negative situation Ewing Oil could end up in and in his honest opinion, the sooner he separated his personal and business lives, and the sooner he was able to transition into full-time ranch work, the better. He liked travelling for work and he liked being paid to wine and dine influential people and potential business partners, but the novelty of his job was beginning to wear off and he was ready to move on, in business, and possibly in his personal life too. Southfork was a big house, but sometimes it didn't feel big enough, and although he still held a small grudge about JR and Sue Ellen's choice of home and the lack of consultation with him about it, it was becoming more obvious to him every day that they had made the right decision. He loved his father, but he was beginning to become impossible to be around, so for everyone's sake, something had to change, and that change had to happen soon.

To be continued…


	476. Advice

**Dallas, Texas**

"…so, just to clarify what I understand and I want to know. Is there anything written in that contract that requires me to work out the entire year at Ewing Oil, and if, hypothetically, I did choose to resign from my position before daddy retires, can he renege the offer of a fulltime position and guaranteed future ownership of the Southfork Ranch business?" Sitting in Brooks Oliver's office on Tuesday afternoon, Bobby Ewing anxiously explained his understanding of his contract and which parts he really wanted further clarified. He didn't blame his father for feeling stressed and acting a bit short with everyone, because he did understand where he was coming from, however, just because he understood his father didn't mean he wanted to prolong the time they spent together discussing potential issues at Ewing Oil.

After attempting to fight for what he had believed was his rightful place in Ewing Oil, and then settling for something different, but still enjoyable and equally necessary, things in his business life had taken a sharp turn recently with the current economic climate. The atmosphere at the office nowadays was much less friendly and enjoyable than it had been in the past, and the business trips he took were suddenly a little more difficult to return home from with good news to report. JR would probably call him weak for doing what he was doing, but it felt necessary; he needed to know that if it became necessary, he could abandon the Ewing Oil ship and assume his new role at the ranch without running into any contractual issues. He liked the oil business, but not when it was how it had been recently.

He had long since come to terms with the fact that he didn't have a business mind like JR and his father and although he'd originally believed he wanted a future at Ewing Oil, when his father offered him the opportunity to separate his business life from JR's and work at the ranch, everything had become a little bit clearer. He was competitive and he wasn't stupid, so in different circumstances he knew he could have been a successful oilman if he had truly committed everything he had to it, however, with things as they were, that just didn't seem possible to him. He knew for a fact that JR was completely disinterested in running Ewing Oil as a Ewing family company employing Ewing's not named John Ross, and he was not afraid to do things that may hurt other people but would ultimately benefit him and Ewing Oil. With JR the way he was, it only seemed to make sense to him that if he wanted to live any kind of happy professional life, resigning from his position when their father retired was the right thing to do; JR didn't want to employ him and frankly, he didn't want JR to work for JR either. He liked being in control and feeling as if he was achieving something just as much as JR did though, and in ranching, he would eventually be able to feel that way again, so combined with the many other reasons for transferring, he had no regrets about his long-term decision.

Listening to Bobby Ewing as he spoke, Brooks Oliver's mind raced. Luckily, he hadn't read the papers he'd handed him yet, because their meeting had been scheduled very last minute and this was the first time he was hearing of exactly why Bobby had asked to meet with him, so he could bring the matter to a close before it even opened; that didn't make the situation any less awkward though. Clearing his throat and looking at a very anxious looking Bobby, he began to speak, "those are some very valid questions and you're absolutely right to seek legal advice before you make any decisions. With that being said though, I'm sorry but I cannot be the lawyer that gives you that advice; there's a potential conflict of interest in this situation. I recommend you either make an appointment with the lawyer that you originally had look at this contract before you signed it, or, if for some reason you're unable or unwilling to do that, I can recommend several excellent lawyers in Dallas". In all honesty, he wasn't sure how much of a conflict of interest there was regarding Bobby Ewing's contract at Ewing Oil, because the work he had done for JR Ewing had involved his request for majority ownership and control of the company, and Bobby wanted the opposite, he wanted a quick escape if necessary. He didn't want to risk having a complaint filed against him for shady business or non-disclosure though, so although it could be nothing, it was best for everyone to reassign the work Bobby needed doing.

"Oh", hearing Brooks' words, Bobby was confused for a moment before realising what the conflict of interest was: his brother. Brooks hadn't said it, but he didn't have to, it wasn't that difficult to work out what had most likely occurred. Prior to renegotiating his contract with his father, to now include his future at the ranch rather than at Ewing Oil, JR had done the same thing more than once and it made sense that he had need for a lawyer independent of the firm Ewing Oil used. He didn't know whether JR had realised it himself and just made an appointment with Brooks', or whether he had also received an apologetic response from Harve Smithfield that he wouldn't be able to act for him personally in this case because he already acted for Jock and Ewing Oil. The order of events didn't really matter though, the end result was still the same, he was going to ask a fourth lawyer for advice before he did anything. It was annoying, because he did have things to do during the day and he couldn't just keep taking long lunches, however, he wasn't an irrational man, he understood that no one was deliberately trying to stop him from getting the clarification he was seeking.

"It's a shame, and it's a bit inconvenient, but I understand. JR is possessive and secretive when it comes to business so I'm sure he wouldn't be too happy if you took me on as a client too. If you don't mind, could I take you up on your offer though? I do need a lawyer and you're not the first rejection I've had to deal with. First Harve Smithfield said something similar to what you're saying, and then Paul Morgan's secretary told me he's on vacation; it's fine, but I really would appreciate if you could put me in touch with someone who is available to assist me sometime soon". Knowing it wasn't really anyone's fault and appreciating the manner in which Brooks had broken the news to him, Bobby politely accepted what he was being told and then responded in a friendly tone. He wanted help and he had no issue paying whatever the fee would be to get that help, so although it was a bit of an ordeal to actually get that help, he knew he would eventually get what he wanted and really, for now, that was all he wanted.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Sorry about the sporadic updates lately; work, holidays etc., life gets busy sometimes. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	477. Positive Influence

**Dallas, Texas**

"Thank you Francisca", gratefully accepting the large mug of hot chocolate and relaxing into the cosy throw blanket that Sue Ellen kept on the couch, Lucy Ewing looked out the window at the pouring rain as she considered the question her aunt had asked her earlier. How was she doing? Honestly, she wasn't too sure. A month ago, her answer would have been different, it would have been a lot more negative, but now, although she still struggled with her deeper emotions regarding what seemed to her to be abandonment, she was happier and she did feel loved and wanted. That didn't mean she felt completely positive and optimistic though; deep down inside her somewhere was a feeling of loss, a feeling of loss that simply spending more time with Sue Ellen, her aunt, John Ross, her cousin, or Miss Ellie, her grandmother, couldn't fix. She didn't really know her parents and she loved her grandparents and extended family, but the feeling of not truly belonging anywhere weighed on her mind more than was good for her.

Doctor Lacey, her therapist, was wonderful though; she was really able to put things in perspective and had absolved her of some of her inner questions about whether it was her fault that her parents had left, and whether it was silly or selfish to feel down sometimes when she did have so many other positive things in her life. As it was, her grandmother truly tried hard to play both the role of grandmother and mother to her; her grandfather gave her 'everything a Ewing granddaughter deserved'; and when he was home and not working, Bobby did try hard to include her in things she was capable of and enjoyed. She imagined that in a couple of years, when her grandfather retired, Bobby began to work fulltime at the ranch, and John Ross was a little older, everything would be different in a good way. Her changing outlook on life was assisted too by the effort she knew Sue Ellen made to remain part of her life, even now that she and JR had moved into their own home. Afternoons like this weren't a rare occurrence, her aunt made time for her in her busy schedule and she truly appreciated it. Sometimes they spent time together with John Ross, and other times they had a girls afternoon; she loved both equally, because she adored her little cousin and his pure, innocent expressions and happy personality, but it was also nice to have Sue Ellen to herself every once in a while.

"Better. I think you understand more than grandma does, because you also see a therapist, but really, I do feel better. No one can change the past and as much as we try to direct our lives to go one way rather than another, we're not able to control everything; I find that comforting. It's not my fault that my parents weren't ready to be parents and I can't make them come back before they're ready, and they may never be ready, but that's ok, it's not something I have to worry about. What I can control is the way I act and the way I react; with the right people, I can show love and receive love in return and that's what I should focus on. Grandma, granddaddy, you, uncle Bobby, John Ross, and even uncle JR, you're the people that are the important, present members of my family, and I do have a place in all of your lives. Doctor Lacey says I'm an adolescent and the next few years in my life are going to be complicated and confusing in a lot of different spheres of life, whatever that means, so I am going to need you and the rest of the family… To be honest, I don't know what she's saying sometimes, but she is a nice lady and she does really help me, so I guess I believe her, and I guess, what I think I should tell you more than I do is that I do appreciate the things you do for me. I know there have been times where I've acted like a complete brat; like when I blamed JR for causing grandma and granddaddy to argue; when I sulked because grandma gave John Ross more attention than me; when I made a fuss about including Kristin; or when I turned my nose up at your clothing and activity suggestions. I don't have to be perfect, in fact, Doctor Lacey and grandma both say perfect is the last thing anyone wants me to be, because perfect is boring and unoriginal and I'm neither of those things, but I do have to look at my behaviour going forward and put effort into my relationships. I think I can do that, and I really want to do that, so I guess what I'm saying is, I'm doing better, because I understand things a little more now. Thank you for caring enough to suggest I talk to Doctor Lacey…"

Having been a teenage girl herself, having dealt with Kristin and her mother, having heard the stories of her college friends teenage selves, and having read a few of the pamphlets in Doctor Lacey's office, Sue Ellen couldn't help but smile amusedly as Lucy mentioned that the next few years of her life would be complicated and confusing. With the way the Ewings spoiled Lucy when they were paying attention to her, there was no doubt in her mind that if any teenage girl was going to be a challenge, it would be Lucy. Aside from her amusement at the mention of Lucy's bratty side, Sue Ellen felt a mixture of sadness, admiration and pride; her young niece had experienced more negative emotions in her life than someone her age should have, but she was growing up and by the sound of it, she was beginning to develop into a lovely young lady. There would surely be challenges and power struggles over the next few years, because as nice as teenagers could be, they didn't always get along with their elders, however, she had a feeling that as long as they both worked to maintain some kind of relationship, everything would be ok when they did eventually come out the other side. Lucy benefitted from having strong, loving family members and good friends, and as much as she would have also benefitted from having one or both of her parents in her life, it wasn't a necessity.

"You're welcome, and I'm glad. You deserve to be happy and if I can play a part in making you happy, then I will. Doctor Lacey is right though, I've been a teenage girl, there are going to be times where you don't like me and you think I'm being completely unfair, but please, do remember that everything I do for you is because I care. Please, never think I just spend time with you because I feel obliged to, and please, never just jump to a conclusion about why I'm saying something; if you really think I'm wrong, talk to me. I want us to have a good relationship with each other and I think we can have a good relationship. I enjoy our time together and I'm pleased to hear you do too", smiling warmly at Lucy as she spoke, Sue Ellen felt good; she was optimistic that everything was going to be just fine, and she was glad.

To be continued…


	478. Near Perfect?

**Dallas, Texas**

"…you really should spend more time up there… It's a lovely home, thank you for letting us visit. I can't wait to take John Ross again when it's a little bit warmer and we can enjoy the lake and the pool…" eavesdropping on his daughter-in-law's pre-dinner conversation with his wife, Jock Ewing had mixed feelings. On one hand, he was happy to finally have the entire family gathered together at Southfork again, that was the way things should be, however, on the other hand, he was still annoyed about the length of time that now frequently occurred before events like this happened. Of course he was thrilled that JR was finally taking his role as a husband and father seriously, but when he had told him to think about the important things in his life he hadn't meant for him to start neglecting the wider Ewing family, or the business they relied on to remain the wealthy, powerful family that they were. It was nice for JR to take his wife and son away on vacation, he almost regretted not doing the same thing more often when his own sons were young, but the fact of the matter was, Ewing Oil was their livelihood and it wouldn't run itself. They could afford to leave things as they were for a few days here and there, they had excellent staff, but any longer than a few days, and any more frequently than a couple of times a year and in his mind, problems began to emerge.

"…skiing in Vail for our anniversary; hopefully somewhere a little warmer in April; then we haven't decided where we're going, but we're taking ten days in the summer to go somewhere and do something. Then I was thinking we'd head up north to New England in August; then in October we'll probably take a little time away too, but after that, apart from the occasional strictly Friday evening through to Sunday afternoon weekends away, we'll be in Dallas. This past holiday season was lovely and I don't want to rush John Ross too much, but I am looking forward to him being a little older next time we're celebrating. I think as an eighteen month old he'll understand and enjoy a lot of the plays, parades and traditions a bit more than he did this past season…" Continuing to listen in on his wife and daughter-in-law's conversation, Jock subconsciously shook his head. JR's application for twelve days paid leave over the coming year was not just about keeping his options open, Sue Ellen was planning and that meant as long as he approved it, which he seemed to be cornered into doing, he himself was going to have to work smarter and probably a little harder. He wasn't ready for retirement just yet, he still had plenty of energy and passion for the oil business and he still needed to regain confidence about JR's commitment to Ewing Oil, however, no longer did he view retirement as the beginning of the end; by the time he was of age, he'd probably be grateful for the break.

"Daddy?" turning his attention back to his sons as he heard his name being spoken, he murmured a few words of acknowledgement and then took a drink in an effort to subtly signal to one of his sons to continue speaking. Embarrassingly, he had been listening to the women's conversation so intently that he had completely missed the more important men's conversation; it was ridiculous, he knew he shouldn't concern himself with such insignificant matters when his company and his country were on the verge of a huge crisis, but for whatever reason, JR's modern marriage got to him. Ewing Oil needed JR, but from the way Sue Ellen was talking, so did her and John Ross, and she intended to maintain his attention. He couldn't turn down JR's leave requests, he had applied within a reasonable timeframe and he was entitled to take a certain amount of paid leave, so there was nothing he could do about it, but that didn't stop him from grumbling. Unfortunately, despite having heard his complaints, his eldest son didn't appear to care too much about his opinion and hadn't even made an insincere offer to change his plans. There had been a lot of deliberation between JR, Sue Ellen and Diane prior to his application for leave had been submitted and to JR, the twelve days leave he had requested was much more reasonable and realistic than the extravagant, impracticable initial proposal Sue Ellen had originally come to him with. JR hadn't informed his father of any of that though, so naturally, to Jock, it was a shock when his eldest son, the future president of Ewing Oil and former workaholic, suddenly took his new personality to an extreme.

Twenty minutes later, after refocusing his attention, he found himself deeply involved in yet another discussion about the rapidly declining dollar, the government's response, the dwindling national oil supply and Ewing Oil's game plan to survive the looming disaster. He, JR and Bobby were discussing some fairly heavy topics, but he was in his element and it felt good to finally have the family back together in their family home again. Finishing his drink just as Teresa entered the room to announce that dinner was ready to be served, he nodded to himself with pride as he and his family made their way into the dining room, and sitting, he grinned as he noted just one empty space at the table. "Would you look at that, we're almost at capacity tonight. This is how it should be. Add another Ewing wife and a few more grandchildren, and the future looks near perfect. We finally have the whole family here tonight, three generations of Ewings under the same roof again. That is something to celebrate". Raising his glass, he was too wrapped up in his own words to notice the way a few of his family members were looking at him. For Sue Ellen, Lucy and Miss Ellie, Jock's words were bittersweet, because yes, it was nice to have a family meal together, but the fact was, it wasn't quite that simple. In Miss Ellie and Lucy's eyes, the whole family was not present and it was sad to think about just how easily Gary was forgotten. For Sue Ellen, the mention of more grandchildren brought back some painful memories and anxieties about the future, though it also made her happy, because John Ross was absolutely wonderful and she couldn't imagine and didn't want to imagine her life without him. All well aware that this was neither the time nor place for any serious discussions though, each of the three women kept their thoughts and feelings to themselves and allowed the moment to pass silently, letting Jock enjoy his moment without having to confront the other side of the situation.

To be continued…


	479. Words That Hurt

**Dallas, Texas**

Entering their bedroom after putting John Ross down for the night, Sue Ellen closed the door behind her, sighed to herself and then looked at JR as she began to speak. "I take back what I said about wanting to apologise to your daddy. One evening back at Southfork and I remember exactly why we left…" pausing for a moment, she then continued. "I appreciate that he's from a different time and that he probably doesn't mean to come across the way he does, but whether it's intentional or not, sometimes he does act in an inconsiderate manner, and I have a strong feeling that he'd misinterpret my words and intentions if I did apologise".

"I respect that Southfork is his home and for the past thirty-five or so years, he's been the man of the house, and I respect that it's not easy being in the position he's in, he is responsible for a lot, in both business and at home. I respect those things and I respect you as my husband and his son, so I would never just make a fuss when it's not absolutely necessary; for that reason though, I think I should hold off on making the apology to him".

"Is it enough for me to acknowledge when I was wrong just in your presence? I think he had a point when he said babies were resilient, but after the way he tried to convince us to stay after dinner tonight, or before that, his obliviousness to the way his comments can hurt, I don't think I could deal with allowing him to think he'd won something against me. I don't know if that makes any sense to you, but it does in my mind. I don't want him to think it's ok to make comments about how we live our lives, comments that hurt or just aren't appropriate. I don't want him to think it's ok to make those comments because although I may be silent or react badly initially, in the end I'll agree with him and apologise to him. I can't play into the way he runs things, I feel like that just gives him more power. He may have had a point when he said what he said, but just the same as that, I reacted in the way that I felt at the time and this visit to Southfork reminded me I still feel that way. It's petty and I probably sound ridiculous for overanalysing it, because you did say when I first brought it up that you didn't really see the point in bringing attention back to old matters, especially ones that I had a perfectly valid response to in the first place, but I don't want him to know he was right. I have this awful feeling that if I acknowledge his valid point in regard to where John Ross spends his time, he'll start to think he has more of a say in our lives than he actually does".

"I don't know if everyone else understands how difficult and painful the time between our wedding and finding out I was pregnant was, so I don't know whether he realises how upsetting his little comments about more grandchildren can be, but that's also part of the reason why I don't think I can apologise to him. He didn't push it this time, so I stayed quiet, but if I know him, that's not the end of the comments about our expanding family, and I can't have him thinking that I'm weak or not serious next time when I do have to say something".

Taking a breath between thoughts, she suddenly felt very vulnerable as she took note of the way JR was looking at her; she had a feeling that her thoughts were going in circles and from JR's unreadable facial expression, she was sure her perception wasn't too far off the truth. "I… I'm probably not making a whole lot of sense, I know that. I'm just wound up and annoyed with myself for glossing over reality so soon. We haven't lived here that long, but I'd really forgotten what family dinner at Southfork could be like sometimes. I will never allow my mother to control me again, I truly believe that, but I also believed I had moved past allowing your father to dictate things, but being back there tonight reminded me of the little potential problems that are present in our lives".

"I know we agreed to wait until John Ross was at least a year old before we even began to think about more children, but that very brief mention in the conversation tonight just brought all of my old memories back. I'm older and I'd like to think I'm wiser now and whether it's right or wrong, the extreme pressure we were under before having John Ross is no longer present, however, I am still scared. I don't want to feel the way I did in the beginning of our marriage. I don't want to downplay your feelings, because I know it bothered you too, but I was genuinely heartbroken every month that passed and I wasn't pregnant. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I do know that soon enough the pressure is going to start again and I don't know if I'm ready for that".

Feeling herself tear up as her true feelings about the evening came to light, Sue Ellen silently willed her husband to show some emotion, any emotion, to let her know he had heard her. She was sure she sounded silly, because she was usually much stronger than this and JR was probably sick of seeing her breaking down over uncontrollable things, but right now, she didn't care. On the positive side of what she was feeling, she was thrilled she and JR had finally made a life for themselves, away from Southfork, but before she could even begin to really think about the positive, she had to confront the negative. Being back at Southfork for more than just tea with Miss Ellie or to spend a bit of time with Lucy was not particularly pleasant and she wasn't looking forward to what she was sure Jock would try to encourage more of now that he'd had a taste of what he believed was a 'happy family meal' again. She was happy to finally have things the way she wanted them with JR and John Ross, but somewhere deep inside her she was still wary of all the things she didn't control, and her wariness often influenced the way she thought, bringing her back to a state of mind she'd thought she'd left in the past.

In the cold light of day, after a good night's sleep and preferably a few kind words from her husband, she would see things differently and wouldn't be so personally affected by what she perceived to be her weaknesses and other people's negativity, but for now, she was a mess and she needed her husband.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: I'm well aware that this is character regression… ;)  
Thanks for reading :)**


	480. Seeking Guidance

**Dallas, Texas**

Staying quiet as he watched his patient try to find words to describe why she had asked to make an appointment with him, Doctor Williams was all ears when she finally broke the silence. "May I ask you a question?" speaking softly, it was obvious from her tone that she was not feeling completely herself, however, her presence alone was personal progress. It was good for her to consciously make the decision to talk about what was bothering her rather than keeping everything to herself until she couldn't handle it anymore and eventually collapsed under the pressure of whatever was on her mind.

"Of course, the floor is all yours", motioning with his hand he then waited for her to speak, however, despite having given her 'permission', she remained silent. Waiting a few seconds, he then spoke again, sensing that despite their months of progress, the vulnerable woman she had been when she'd first come to him was still present somewhere deep inside her. "Sue Ellen, remember that I'm here to help you, not judge you, so please, don't feel as if you have to whitewash your feelings or motivations for my sake or for the sake of making yourself appear more or less than what reality truly is. As you have pointed out numerous times, our meetings are confidential; honesty is not something you have to fear here, this is a safe space", pausing for a second, he was pleased when she looked at him and gave him a small smile. "What's on your mind?"

Considering Doctor Williams' words for a moment, Sue Ellen felt a little silly for being so cautious about speaking honestly in front of him. Apart from JR, he was probably the one person who truly knew and understood how she felt, and after months of confiding deeply personal information in him and receiving nothing but true, honest support and having been given no reason to believe his promises of confidentiality weren't genuine, she did trust him. "It's Jock. I feel so powerless when I'm around him sometimes. As well as that though, I feel so silly for thinking that an idea I had was a good one. I don't want to be on bad terms with him, just like I don't want to be on bad terms with my mother, but somehow, nothing ever seems to happen as I want it or plan it". Beginning to speak, she almost instantly felt a little better; she wasn't sure she was verbalising her thoughts coherently, but even just being able to say them aloud was nice. JR was a wonderful husband, he had allowed her to speak her mind without getting angry or upset with her for speaking negatively about his father, however, in some ways, although it wasn't fair because he was such a good husband, she still felt better being able to vent her frustrations to someone neutral like Doctor Williams. JR was loyal to his father and he had a deep respect for him, a respect that Sue Ellen respected too, so no matter how frustrated or angry with him she was, she did always try to keep in mind that her perception of Jock Ewing was much different from other peoples.

"I don't remember how much I told you, so feel free to stop me if I'm repeating things we discussed in our previous appointment. When JR and I were up at the lake house last week, I found my mind wandering and I found myself able to acknowledge moments where I may have jumped ahead in my judgements or reacted too strongly to things that in hindsight, weren't as bad or dramatic as I imagined them. One of those was the way I snapped at Jock during a visit to Southfork the day after we moved into our new home. He made a few comments that were typical of his attitude and while I still don't think he was right, I can acknowledge that perhaps my reaction was a little strong. I admitted it to JR and I'm admitting it to you. I was and probably am still protective of John Ross and overly assertive when it comes to his needs. I don't think it's a bad thing to be attentive and loving, I think everyone, including Jock and JR, would benefit from more love from their parents, but I can see where love and attentiveness can be perceived as clingy and coddling..."

"I'm getting off topic; that's not really what's on my mind, it's really just information for context. Skipping ahead and summarising what I meant to say; in the way that you're always getting me to reflect on things and accept the past but work on changing the future, I thought everyone would benefit from an acknowledgement of past mistakes and an apology. JR didn't think it was necessary to bring attention back to old issues, but he told me to do whatever would make me happy. Fortunately and unfortunately, my assumption was wrong, and while I'm happy I didn't apologise before everything happened last night, I'm also highly irritated with myself for ever thinking it was a good idea, and I'm irritated with myself for being so incapable of speaking my mind when it comes to conflict".

It had taken her years to tell her mother how she really felt and to try to set boundaries in their relationship, and unfortunately, many times before their final meeting a few weeks ago, she had allowed her mother back into her life and back into a position of power. She liked having JR's support, but she hated needing him to fight her battles for her, and with her mother, that was exactly what he had done in the end. She didn't want to need him to resolve the issues she had with his father's attitude toward them, she wanted to be able to tell Jock exactly how she felt, however, there was more to it than that. She was looking for guidance on how to appear both strong and humble. She needed Jock to know that she wasn't interested in ceding control of her life or her family's life just to make him happy; if/when she and JR decided to have another child was none of his business; and parenting decisions regarding John Ross were none of his business. As well as that, how she and JR spent their time and money was none of his business and while he was just as entitled as anyone else to want to and ask to spend time with them and his grandson, strong-arming them into anything was a bad idea and wasn't something they were interested in being a part of. There was so much she wanted to say to him, but she didn't know how to do so without causing a raft of issues for the entire family. She also didn't want to keep allowing him to think he was in control though, and she certainly didn't want to apologise to him if it was going to be something he used to control her later on. She was confused and she felt stuck. Luckily, she had a wonderful husband and a very helpful, supportable therapist.

Listening and nodding, Doctor Williams then responded, "you mentioned some of that in passing earlier in the week, but the way you explained it just now was much more detailed. I'm very proud of you for taking responsibility for your mistakes, even if you're not sure now whether your opinion has changed again. Please continue, why are you irritated with yourself for thinking admitting to your mistakes was a good idea? What happened last night?"

To be continued…


	481. Self-reflection

**Dallas, Texas**

"Nothing really happened. I was just reminded of all of the reasons why JR and I left Southfork to start a new life and I was reminded why it's not always helpful to assume that having good intentions is enough to change the reality of a situation. Jock controls everything, whether he's trying to or not, and I hate it…" Listening as Sue Ellen spoke vaguely and then sighed to herself, Doctor Williams nodded commiseratively and quelled his own desire to sigh as he quietly flipped back through his notes. Sue Ellen still hadn't quite explained what exactly her father-in-law had done or said, however, from his past experience with her, he had a feeling that it didn't really matter whether it was something big, or something small, because the emotional impact on Sue Ellen would be the same either way. She felt things strongly and it appeared that although she did try hard to communicate her feelings when it came to her relationship with her husband and the Shepard side of her family, her communication with the greater Ewing family was much more subdued. If she wanted anything to change though, she had to be stronger and more direct. Subtle gestures and good intentions meant nothing if the recipient wasn't paying attention to her.

Clearing his throat, Doctor Williams looked his patient in the eye and hoped she would understand that what he was about to say wasn't intended to upset her, but to empower her and spur her into action. "Sue Ellen, if I may…" pausing for a moment, he then continued, "do you remember back when you and JR first started coming to me as a couple? In one of our first sessions we sat here and discussed why Ewing Oil and Jock Ewing had so much power and control over your lives? In that session I posed the question to JR; I asked him to think about why was it that you could both felt comfortable putting your mother in her place when you felt that she was being demanding or disrespectful, but to do the same to his own father seemed unimaginable? JR told me that his thoughts and actions on that topic were related to respect, fear, social position and a number of other things. For JR, it was and I imagine still is a large part of his identity being John Ross Ewing Jr., son of Jock Ewing, heir to the Ewing business and fortune. I have a few notes written here that related to the way JR saw your relationships with your parents as similar but also different. The way he sees things, where you were trying to please your mother for reasons related to her selfishness and greed, he did it for his entire identity and life".

"Now, I don't want to turn this into a session where we discuss JR in-depth and without his knowledge, because I do believe there has been a lot of progress personally and for you two as a couple recently, however, I wanted you to be reminded of that conversation. I want to pose the same question to you that I posed to JR months ago. The context is not the same, because we were discussing something much more specific the last time we had this conversation, however, I do believe it relates. I want you to consider it and then answer me, don't feel like you have to rush. Why it that you feel comfortable and confident enough to put your mother in her place when you feel that she's being demanding, rude, disrespectful or just plain unkind, but to do the same to your father-in-law is such a challenge? You've done it before and you should be very proud of yourself for the way that situation turned out. Jock may have reacted badly to your and JR's joint request to remove the morality clause from his Ewing Oil contract, however, in the end, you got what you wanted and the world didn't end. Additionally, you also spoke up when you and JR decided that living at Southfork wasn't best for your family, and when you decided allowing the Southfork Ranch business to work on your land wasn't something you were interested in at this point. I believe you also once told me about a conversation you had with your father-in-law regarding the way he speaks to and about your son, reiterating the fact that you and JR are John Ross' parents and that's something that needs to be respected".

"Sue Ellen, you are strong, much stronger than you allow yourself to remember and believe sometimes. I don't doubt that JR has a whole separate set of very personal thoughts and feelings about whatever happened during your visit to Southfork last night, but JR is only half of your marriage and he's none of you personally. You were prepared to apologise to Jock last night, that's very admirable and I commend you for having the insight to not only acknowledge, but want to remedy the situation you saw as wrong. Now, tell me, what exactly did Jock say last night that made you change your mind about saying anything at all to him? Moreover, what exactly is stopping you from confronting the things you find offensive or upsetting? I'm not suggesting that you make a scene at dinner in front of the whole family; I know social politeness is very important to you, and I appreciate that you're not entirely comfortable with everyone knowing everything about your life. I do want you to consider and answer me this though, what's the worst that could happen if you were just honest and voiced your true feelings? You and JR are adults; you don't live at Southfork; JR is legally entitled to Ewing Oil and seems to be a dedicated and well capable businessman; and you probably have some very fair points that he would do well to be reminded of. Above all else though, family should be able to speak to each other without it always being tense or uncomfortable. It's not unreasonable for you to want to live like adults and expect to be treated as adults; I do have to say though, it is bordering on unreasonable to allow him to walk all over you and dictate your behaviour, and for you to say nothing and then get upset that he continues to act the way he does. You have set boundaries in your life before and I believe it's time to do so again. JR needs to be a part of whatever plan you come up with, because he is involved, but I want you to consider it for yourself first. A communicative, respectful relationship doesn't just happen, it takes work and sometimes, although it's scary or it seems unfair, you have to make the first move. In this case, it's complicated, because this isn't the first time you've had issues and concerns, but instead of suffering silently this time, I want you to come up with a plan to tackle it and then move past it. First though, please do consider the question I asked you earlier and with that answer then consider everything else".

To be continued…


	482. Reiteration

**Dallas, Texas**

"…he just reiterated everything I already knew. I won't start an argument, but next time your daddy says something that bothers me, I will say something. I've always said that I don't have anything against John Ross following in the Ewing footsteps if that's what he wants to do, but I will not have him growing up thinking that oil is the most important thing in the world. As well as that, I refuse to allow him to take credit for John Ross being the way he is; I'm sure some of his personality is nature, so I suppose he can claim some connection, however, a large part of John Ross' demeanour comes from the way he's being raised. It's only natural for you to want to believe our son is smart because he's ours, he's a Ewing, but your daddy takes that train of thought and spins it even further. John Ross is smart and wonderfully personable, but it's not because your daddy had anything to do with it; quite frankly, he doesn't spend enough time with John Ross to claim anything other than inherited traits. I won't sit by and quietly listen to him take credit for things he had no part in, and I won't just let his comments about more grandchildren pass me by. Perhaps he means he wants Bobby to have children sooner rather than later and I'm just being sensitive thinking that he's referring to us, but either way, he's better off staying quiet. Bobby's younger than both of us, he has plenty of time before any pressure for him to settle down becomes valid, and even then, that's his business, not anyone else's. As for us, I won't deny it, I'm not ready to repeat the pain and disappointment that I felt the last time we were trying to conceive. I want to enjoy being a mother to John Ross for a little while longer before we decide to start trying to add to our family. Your daddy needs to mind his own business and appreciate the things he has before deciding he wants more. He has the grandson he's wanted for years, but with the way he talks, he may as well have no grandchildren at all. I'm not going to have another child before I'm ready… before we're ready… and I'm not going to allow him to make me feel bad for enjoying the family I do have. It's high time he stopped talking about how great it is to be a part of the mighty Ewing family and started showing it".

Listening to his wife ranting about his father's hypocrisy, JR nodded occasionally, but otherwise stayed quiet. They had had the same conversation a million times over and he didn't have anything particularly new or profound to say, and while Sue Ellen didn't really either, he could tell she needed to let her feelings out. She had some fair points, his father did need to mind his own business when it came to the future and he did seem to be unappreciative of the things he had, especially the things he had always talked about wanting, however, in other ways, he did think she was a little too hard on him. His father worked exceptionally hard at Ewing Oil and he was from a different generation to the two of them; in his mind, he probably truly believed that it was reasonable for him to call the shots and expect people to follow his wishes, and it probably never occurred to him to start building his relationship with his grandson now. From the way his own childhood had been, JR had a very strong feeling that the moment John Ross was able to walk, talk and be taught all of the things 'men should be able to do', Sue Ellen would be regretting ever wishing he would be more involved. For the most part, he agreed with his wife though, he had no desire to go back to the way their lives had been prior to having John Ross. The pressure to have a child had been extreme and the lack of control over the situation had been painful, disappointing and frustrating, and he, like Sue Ellen, wasn't ready to face the emotional rollercoaster that came with trying to conceive. He liked to strive to be the biggest, the best and ten steps ahead of the game in business, but in his personal life he was happy to just enjoy the moment. He and Sue Ellen had John Ross now, they were happy, and it seemed silly and ungrateful to him to seek more before either of them was ready just because other people made it seem like the thing to do.

"I know darlin', I know. As I've said before, I don't think he intends to upset you, but as he does, then yes, you need to say something. I tried to speak to him today, but you know how things are at the office…" pausing as he noticed the look she was giving him, he knew what he was saying was a cop-out and he found himself unable to come up with anything meaningful to tell her instead. The truth was, he hadn't tried very hard to speak to his father at work, because first and foremost, he had been working, but secondly, because although he was in a comfortable position at Ewing Oil, he still didn't want to rock the boat too much. It sounded cowardly and so unlike the image he tried to portray publicly, and he knew it was stupid to feel the way he did because he was afraid, however, there was something deep inside him that didn't like the idea of his father being truly angry with him. He had already experienced his father's wrath when he was disappointed and angry and he had no desire to put himself in that position again, though he would if it was necessary and his wife needed him to. As it was though, at the office, although things were a bit difficult at the moment, they weren't horrible and he didn't particularly feel like adding more stress and tension to his life.

"JR…" glaring at her husband, Sue Ellen felt betrayed; she hadn't expected him to really say anything, but she also hadn't expected him to give her excuses when he did speak. Of course he hadn't said anything to his father, it was exactly as Doctor Williams had said, the thought of standing up to the mighty Jock Ewing was not something that was on his radar, she knew that, but she didn't want to be reminded of it. She knew she was probably being petulant, complaining about something so silly, however, after thinking about little else over the past twenty-four hours, she was wound up and in need of an outlet to express her annoyance. "I need you to take this seriously. The next time your daddy says something, I won't be so docile and quiet, and when that happens, I need you to be there to support me. Please JR, promise me that you'll stand by me and defend me if need be". Looking at him both sternly and pleadingly, she felt herself relaxing as he downed the rest of his drink before stepping forward and kissing her. She knew her husband, she frustrated and confused the hell out of him and half the time he had no idea how to deal with her mood swings that went from vulnerable to angry and back again, but when it came down to it, he loved her and he would support her. As Doctor Williams had said, they had stood up to Jock it before and their lives had been better because of that, so they could do it again and come out the other side with the same result. They had to communicate and be proactive and in telling him exactly what she wanted and making a plan for when to do so, that's exactly what they were doing.

To be continued…


	483. Alone

**Dallas, Texas**

"Do you hear that?" walking out of their bathroom and entering their bedroom, Sue Ellen looked her husband in the eye as she spoke before pausing and answering his quizzical expression and her previous question. "Silence", grinning as she made her way toward him, dropping her silk peignoir to reveal her nightgown, she took great pleasure in the way JR was looking at her. She had good taste, she knew how to choose lingerie that was simultaneously sexy, classy and elegant and she knew exactly how to present herself to her husband in order to get what both of them wanted. If she sensed that he needed or wanted her to, or he explicitly asked her to, she could and would play the role of the less respectable women JR had socialised with in the past, however, it wasn't her natural inclination and it wasn't a precedent she wanted to set in their marriage. Role-playing was fine, they could do whatever they wanted as long as they were happy, she just didn't want them to forget who they were and why they had fallen in love with each other.

"John Ross is asleep, and Mrs Smith and Francisca have gone home. We're all alone…" leaving her words hanging as she finished her short walk from the bathroom to their bed, she then made her next move, gracefully but determinedly climbing onto their bed and situating herself astride him. "Whatever shall we do?" grinning again as she spoke, she was thrilled when her mesmerized, speechless husband tilted his head to meet her gaze before closing the gap between them. Inevitably, their earlier conversation and actions had been disrupted by the reality of being parents to a young child, and their evening, while enjoyable, relaxing and romantic, had yet to lead them to where they were now, so although it hadn't actually been a terribly long time since they'd last connected intimately, to them, it had been long enough. "Mmm", hearing JR's low groan as she deepened their kiss and ran her fingers over his chest, working on undoing his buttons as she went, she felt her heart pounding. They hadn't exactly fixed all of their problems and her mind wouldn't be completely clear until they did; luckily though, their problems were less about them than they were about Jock, so with the distraction of their physical actions and their deep love for each other, their disagreement earlier in the evening was the last thing on their minds.

Eyeing his wife as she stepped out of their bathroom and immediately began her seduction, JR grinned before kissing her and working on getting her equally as unclothed as she wanted him to be. Breaking their kiss for a moment as he shrugged his shirt off his shoulders and tossed her nightgown on the floor, he held eye contact with her before closing his eyes and sighing with pleasure as she ran he fingertips down his chest a couple of times, maddeningly drawing out her actions before continuing her descent. By the time she got to where she was clearly teasing she was going, he wouldn't need her assistance to proceed to the next step, however, as she was on her way down and she was aiming to please him and was certainly doing that, he wasn't going to put a stop to her actions.

Taking great pleasure and pride in pleasing her husband, even if he had annoyed her earlier in the evening, Sue Ellen threw herself into kissing and caressing him exactly where she knew he was the most sensitive. Emotionally, she loved feeling powerful and in control and she loved knowing she was the source of his moans and sighs, physically though, there were things she enjoyed more, because they were mutually physically pleasurable. She wasn't sure whether it was selfish or selfless, because there were two sides to her actions, however, in the moment, she really didn't care, and from the way JR reacted, she knew whether she had an agenda or not was the furthest thing from his mind.

Opening his eyes, JR intently watched his wife as she trailed kisses back up his body before reclaiming his lips and continuing her exploration of his chest with her fingernails. Taking the opportunity in front of him, he felt his heartrate increase even more as he ran his hands down her back, over her curves and back up to one of his favourite parts of her body. He had loved her body long before she had become pregnant, but he couldn't deny that pregnancy had given him a whole new appreciation for her chest. As it was, her body right now was about as close to perfect as he could ask for, and it was immensely attractive to him to feel her obvious attraction toward him, her willingness to give herself to him and her willingness to go above and beyond what was necessary to please him.

Revelling in the simple pleasure of JR's touch and his kisses, Sue Ellen found herself going along with his gentle, but determined attempts at moving things along, however, as she had somewhat mentally planned their evening earlier in the bathroom as she readied herself for bed, she was prepared for his actions. She knew what she wanted and what she wanted was to be in control tonight. Surrendering to JR's efforts to move them into a position where he could pay better attention to what she knew were two of his favourite things about her, she allowed herself to enjoy his attention for a little while before making a few of her own gentle, but determined moves.

Slightly disappointed at the loss of contact, JR's mood soon improved as he watched and felt his wife taking her earlier position, straddling him and taking control of their actions once again. She was amazing, she was incredibly sexy and her confidence and determination was thoroughly attractive and appealing. In the past, he'd never been very good at finding satisfaction in being with just one woman, but now, although she did drive him crazy at times, the physical and emotional attraction and love he felt for her was stronger and more satisfying than anything he'd ever experienced before and he couldn't imagine needing or wanting anyone else. Groaning as his wife began to move, and hearing the sounds she was making and seeing the expression on her face, there was no doubt in his mind that she felt the same way he did; they were meant for each other, in every way.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thank you for all of the recent views and reviews :)**


	484. To Southfork and Beyond

**Dallas, Texas**

"Remember sweetheart, Chestnut is like your mama and cousin Lucy, it hurts him if you pull on his hair. You have to be gentle, like this", taking John Ross' hand in hers and running it softly over Chestnut's mane, Miss Ellie smiled to herself as her grandson mimicked her actions. There was a lot more to horses than the simple statement she had told him, but he was still relatively young, so the simpler the message, the better. In this case, while a small tug of Chestnut's hair wasn't going to bother him, because he was used to being groomed, ridden and playing with the other horses, John Ross' sharp, erratic tugs probably weren't too pleasant either, and being in the confined stall, an annoyed horse was the last thing anyone at the ranch needed. "Good boy", watching her young grandson calm a little, obviously understanding some of what she said, she smiled to herself and kissed his cheek before readjusting him in her arms and allowing him to happily babble and continue to show affection to his mother's horse.

John Ross was interesting, he was JR's son and in many aspects of his personality he reminded her greatly of the way her eldest son had been and still was, but in other ways, he was very different to his father. JR's indifference to animals was not a new thing, but it was a fairly individual thing; both the Ewing and Southworth families were passionate about the agricultural side of life on a ranch, but that passion hadn't automatically appeared in him and despite a lifetime of participating in 'manly' activities, he still wasn't particularly enthusiastic about ranch life. On the other hand, while John Ross was still much too young for anyone to actually declare him a born rancher or assume that he would take after other members of his family, it was safe to say that he hadn't inherited his father's lack of interest in the natural world. She didn't know what the future held for her grandson but she had a feeling that if things continued on the path they were on now, in a few years Jock's life would be full of the experiences he'd been wanting and talking about for decades.

Hearing the familiar clip clop of hooves and her granddaughter and daughter-in-law's voices, Miss Ellie turned around to look behind her before speaking to her grandson, "I think I hear mommy and Lucy coming now. Should we go and see them?" Speaking in a calm, but enthusiastic tone, she hoped the mention of his mother and cousin would be enough to divert his attention so he didn't throw a fit when he eventually had to leave Chestnut. She knew he would be fine eventually, because they had other animals on the ranch and there were a million other things he enjoyed doing that didn't involve animals, however, if it wasn't done correctly, she knew he may get upset if he felt that he was being taken away from all the fun. She didn't want to spoil him, she understood that sometimes children did need to learn that not everything was how they wanted it all the time, however, if she could minimise his upset before it actually happened and make life a little bit easier for herself during the time she was set to take care of him, then she would.

Hearing her mother-in-law speaking to her son and then seeing them together, receiving a happy wave and a big smile from both of them, Sue Ellen smiled back as she stopped in front of Chestnut's stall in the stables. She couldn't wait until John Ross was old enough to really participate in riding; she loved her time out on the ranch with Lucy and occasionally Bobby when he had time; it was enjoyable, exhilarating and a great bonding experience and she was looking forward to sharing it with her son. She rarely convinced JR to ride with her, but that was ok, they did other things together and she didn't feel like she was missing out on spending quality time with him, especially when most of the time her outdoor pursuits occurred when he was at work anyway.

"Thank you for keeping Chestnut company while I was away", reaching out to take her son from Miss Ellie, Sue Ellen complimented him and gave him a quick cuddle before allowing him to wave at Toffee, Lucy's horse. Handing him back to her mother-in-law to hold, she then made her way into the stall to check Chestnut's bridle. The ranch hands had kindly prepared most of the things they needed done before they went for a ride, however, for both safety and comfort purposes, and in an effort to build her own self-sufficiency, she always liked to check everything herself before she left the stables.

Half an hour later, after a steady run, she and Lucy slowed as they neared the fence that indicated the border where Southfork ended and she and JR's land began. Giving each other a look that confirmed they were thinking the same thing, her niece broke the silence, "can we?" Considering it for a moment, Sue Ellen then realised just how silly it seemed to put so much thought into considering it; she and JR owned the land adjacent to Southfork and she had initially chosen it because of its rural location, so it seemed almost stupid not to take advantage of the opportunity. "Of course we can, it's Ewing land. We'll have to jump the fence, so if you're not confident that you can do that, then say so now and we'll turn around and go in the front entrance, but if that's not an issue, then by all means, lead the way". Motioning her hand slightly, she made sure not to jerk too much so she didn't confuse Chestnut and end up injuring herself or both of them.

"Great!" grinning at her aunt, Lucy excitedly clicked her tongue, pushed her legs and body into position and took off toward the fence line. She loved when Sue Ellen spent time with her in day-to-day life, but it was even more special when they did things together that were out of the ordinary, and while riding together wasn't unusual, exploring new, previously off-limits territory was exciting and appealing. She had initially been sad when she'd heard the news that Sue Ellen and John Ross would be leaving Southfork, but now that she had seen and experienced what life meant and felt like with them further away, but still close, she was much happier. Landing on the ground on the other side of the fence, she trotted a few yards ahead before slowing down and waiting for her aunt to join her. She didn't know exactly where they would go this afternoon, but she had no doubt that she would enjoy it.

To be continued…


	485. Covetous

**Dallas, Texas**

Stepping out into the Ewing Oil office reception area as the elevator doors opened, Sue Ellen's heart sank, Diane was nowhere to be seen and Julie's pleasant, welcoming, face of the company of smile had dropped and her expression had transformed into something much more contemptuous and unfriendly almost as soon as she registered who Ewing Oil's latest visitor was. Walking toward Julie's desk, Sue Ellen mentally prepared herself for the worst; she didn't imagine Julie would actually say anything nasty to her, but she always liked to be prepared. "Good afternoon Julie", speaking politely, but not in a particularly friendly tone, she greeted Jock's secretary and waited for an equally polite but generic response. She didn't see much point in trying to be friendly, Julie knew exactly how she felt about her and her past with JR and she had to know that if it wasn't for JR's respect for his father as the president of Ewing Oil, he would have suggested and then insisted she be replaced years ago. As it was though, JR wasn't going to tell his father what to do and Julie ought to be glad she worked for Jock, not JR.

After exchanging a short series of polite greetings and then enquiring about Diane's absence, to which she was relieved to hear was just due to her having a common winter cold rather than anything more serious or permanent, Sue Ellen then got to the reason for her visit. "I'm here to see my _husband_. Would you please call through and let him know I'm here", emphasising the word husband, she then waited for Julie to pick up the phone and call through to JR's office. She hadn't scheduled time to see him today, but she knew he was in, she had walked past his car in the parking lot earlier, and he had told her a long time ago that she was welcome to stop by the office anytime she wished.

Turning her attention to the weekly agenda sitting on her desk, Julie took her time reading over the page before looking back up at Sue Ellen, "is he expecting you? He's very busy today". Hearing Julie's words and condescending tone of voice, Sue Ellen's mood worsened; whether JR was expecting her and whether he could see her was between them and she had no interest in clearing it with Julie first. As well as that, it was infuriating to sense just how little respect Julie had for her, JR and their marriage. What JR had ever seen in Julie was beyond her, because as far as she could tell, she was rude, she lacked respect and she didn't follow orders well at all. It was bad enough to deal with her in a semi-professional manner, but to willingly choose to share intimate actions with her was unfathomable to Sue Ellen.

"Julie, please, pick up that phone, dial through to his office, and ask him whether he's expecting me. I think you'll find that once he hears I'm here, he'll make time for me, even if he is busy. He's my husband and I'm his wife, we're married, very happily I might add, that's what married people do…" pausing for a moment, she looked at Julie with a hard, serious expression and waited for her to either do as she had asked, or argue back. In her mind, Julie had one more chance to do things right before she bypassed her and walked straight into JR's office; she wanted to at least try to do things correctly before she barged in though, that way both Jock and JR were less likely to think she was just badmouthing Julie because of her previous relationship with JR.

Not hiding her contempt, Julie glared at Sue Ellen as she picked up the phone and dialled JR's extension, and when he picked up, she couldn't help but internally roll her eyes at the way his tone of voice changed as she spoke. "He'll be right out" motioning to Sue Ellen to take a seat, she then went back to her work, though it was extremely difficult to concentrate with JR's little wife in the same room. "Hello darlin', what a lovely surprise", hearing the door opening and seeing JR walk out into the reception area, greeting his wife with a kiss that was more than just a simple peck, she felt an old, familiar feeling bubbling up inside her. She'd thought she'd buried her jealousy months ago, when JR had first introduced his son to everyone in the office, because somehow, the reality of a child was much less appealing than what she had always imagined, however, the way she was feeling now told her that perhaps she'd been too quick to tell herself she had moved on.

"Mm, I was in town and I thought I'd take you up on one of those invitations you're always offering me. You're not with a client are you? I know you're a busy man…" seeing Sue Ellen briefly glance over at her before she followed JR's lead and they disappeared into his office to continue their conversation, Julie's glare intensified. What JR saw in Sue Ellen was beyond her; sure, she was pretty and she was well able to handle the recognition and socialisation that came with being a member of the Ewing family, but she was boring and honestly, although JR didn't see it, she didn't seem to be a very nice person. Sue Ellen hid her darker side well; she had the entire Ewing family convinced that she was the perfect wife and mother, so even if by some miracle Julie did manage to make public her true catty personality, she doubted anyone would believe her.

Hearing the click of a lock, a surprised gasp and then a playful giggle, she gagged a little. JR was a skilled lover and she wouldn't mind returning to a position where she was on the receiving end of his attention, however, as jealous as she was, that didn't mean she wanted to hear him giving that attention to another woman, especially not when that attention appeared to come with genuine love and affection attached to it. Not wishing to hear any more of what she was sure was about to happen in JR's office, she then picked up her phone and dialled Jock's office to check whether he was ready to dictate his letters yet; she needed to get away from the noise, the silence and reminders that Sue Ellen, not her, was Mrs JR Ewing.

To be continued…


	486. Midday

**Dallas, Texas**

"Julie, Sue Ellen and I have ordered lunch, so please bring it through when it arrives", relaying the basic message and then hanging up the phone, JR silently observed his wife's facial expression and took a drink. He didn't necessarily agree with her perspective, but he understood it and he had no desire to turn her nice, surprise visit into an argument, so he would keep his mouth shut in regard to further discussion of the elephant in the room, namely the nature of his current and former relationship with Julie Grey. At present, Julie hadn't done anything that warranted ceasing her employment at Ewing Oil, and even if he wanted to move her into a different role, away from the main office, he couldn't; she was his father's secretary and he liked her, his power as vice president didn't extend to deciding the fate of employees like Julie. For him personally, it wasn't exactly nice to walk into the office every day and be reminded of his past life, both good and bad, but it also wasn't as bad as it could be. Sue Ellen didn't seem to think so, but from his perspective it appeared that Julie understood and respected his commitment to his marriage and his complete lack of interest in her and that was good enough for him.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Sue Ellen willed herself to let her feelings go. She didn't want to feel the way she did and she had no desire to repeatedly have the same discussion with her husband, but that didn't mean she could just turn off her feelings. She believed JR when he said that he had moved on from Julie and he was committed to being a faithful husband now, but seeing Julie and sensing her attitude, all of her old feelings and memories had returned and it wasn't pleasant. Logically though, she knew it was silly to be so bothered by Julie; she was JR's wife, their marriage was wonderful and stronger than it had ever been, he clearly had no interest in Julie and he knew he had everything to lose if he did show an interest in her. Doctor Williams was a smart man, he had taught her that she didn't and couldn't control other people, but she could control her reactions to them and their actions; she needed to move on from the past, really move on, just like JR had. Before she could move on though, she felt the need to make her feelings clear, just in case JR didn't already understand her.

"I'm not sure I trust her to deliver food to us without some issue arising, but I'll give her a chance, because I know it's not fair to direct anger at her for something she hasn't actually done. I don't like her and I don't like that she still works here, but I know better than to involve myself so personally. I trust you and I trust that you'll do the right thing even in the face of temptation…" Looking at him with an expression that conveyed that her words were both difficult to say and completely true, she then paused before gently redirected the conversation, "is there anything I can do for you? I love seeing you in the middle of the day, but I'm not stupid, I know you're busy and I know that if I want to be able to enjoy your company for dinner time you need to focus on your work, so I don't want to occupy too much of your attention". Happy to work for him or just sit quietly and observe him working, she stepped closer to his desk as she waited for his answer.

Down the hall, as his phone call ended, Jock Ewing's stomach grumbled; it was midday, it was time for lunch and he had about twenty minutes to take a break before he had to be back to work. He loved the oil business, more than anything else sometimes, but there were times in his life where the pathway Bobby was following seemed more appealing overall. Ranching was hard, physical work and there were definitely deadlines to meet, but the majority of the time the day-to-day schedule included a decent lunchbreak, it was good for staff morale and overall health and there were times at the office where he wished he had the luxury of being able to put his workload on hold for a time. Of course, he was the boss, he was the president of Ewing Oil, he had the ability to do choose when and where to work and there was no one above him to reprimand him if he did become too lenient, however, it wasn't that simple. He had responsibilities and deadlines and there were a fair amount of people he did business with who expected him to be contactable at all times; as well as that, he was a workaholic, he enjoyed work and he took great pleasure in being the best and becoming the biggest. The cartel were good allies for Ewing Oil to have, but there was no way he would be happy for any of them or truly mean his obligatory congratulations toward them if by some miracle any of them beat Ewing Oil to the finish line and gained the title of the biggest independent oil company in Texas. He had to work long hours, he had to work smartly and he had to work extra hard if he wanted to achieve the one thing he had always drummed into JR was the ultimate prize.

Making his way down the hall, passing JR's office, he decided not to enter as it sounded as if JR were in the middle of an important conversation and lunch was the last thing on his mind at the moment, the way it should be. As he kept walking and entered the reception area, he grinned to himself; he had held off on asking JR what he wanted, but it appeared JR and/or Julie hadn't forgotten him. Getting closer to his secretary's desk though, his mood changed; Julie looked miserable and from the look of the food she was transferring from containers onto ceramic plates, his mood wasn't far behind hers. The steak meal was obviously JR's lunch, but the other meal was clearly ordered with a woman in mind and from Julie's facial expression, that woman was not her. It was clearly not for him either and he felt both silly and annoyed for his initial reaction; he gave compliments where they were due, but this time he had been too quick to assume JR's intentions and he felt foolish to have assumed something like that. As it was though, it wasn't something to dwell too much on, he had other, more important things to do this afternoon and lunch was a pit stop in his day, not the final destination. There was one thing he was a little curious about though, however, as soon as he spoke, he regretted ever asking, because the simple question, "who's JR got in there with him?", was apparently not something Julie wanted to think about and her ridiculous, unprofessional jealousy wasn't something he had time to deal with, not today, not ever.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Sorry for the lack of updates recently, it's a crazy busy time of year. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	487. Final

**Dallas, Texas**

Handing JR a drink and then sitting down in the leather chair behind his desk, Jock looked at his eldest son and continued the conversation he had reluctantly started. "JR, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I do think I need to say something. As your mother is always telling me, you're a married man and what happens between you and your wife isn't our business until we're asked to involve ourselves or it becomes extremely obvious that you're not capable of acting like an adult. Like all of that business last year when Sue Ellen left you and left Dallas and you proceeded to hide it from us; I didn't want to get involved, not until your mama made it clear that you weren't going to fix things yourself. Now, I know that's behind you and you and I think everyone can see that you and your wife are more invested in each other than ever before, however, I think I need to remind you that this is an office, not your home. Sue Ellen, John Ross and any of your future children are welcome around here, but please, have a little consideration for everyone else in the office. Whatever went on between you and Julie in the past needs to stay there, for the sake of your marriage and for the sake of the way this business runs, because I have more important things to think about during the day than dealing with a moody secretary and a distracted vice president".

"Now, before you start shooting your mouth off, I've had the same talk with Julie. She's a damn good secretary and I don't wish to lose her services, but she needs to remember that when she's here, she's just that, a secretary, and when she's not at work, she's a young, single woman who if she just focused her energy in the right place could probably find a fine man to marry her. I trust that whatever you two had is firmly in the past and will not be brought up again, but I also ask you to take a moment to consider your words and actions before you express them. Women are different to us men, they feel things more personally and if we want to avoid having to have conversations like this then it's best to not be too vocal about things that are sensitive subjects. If you want to know more, I'd suggest asking your mama, she's much better at these kind of things than I am. All I want from you is a commitment to try not to stir the pot too much; Sue Ellen can visit, your mama would give me an earful if I said anything otherwise, but for the sake of peace and productivity in this office, please, try to keep the overt reminders of your commitment to each other private. I get it, it's not fair, not after years of me telling you that you need to pay more attention to your wife, and not after a year of recommitment, and it's beyond ludicrous that instead of discussing Ewing Eight, we're sitting here like two women, gossiping about who said what and who's upset with who, but bear with me". Crinkling his forehead and taking a drink, Jock looked at his son as if to ask for a sign as to whether he had heard anything he'd just said, because JR was the master of hiding his true thoughts and feelings, especially when he was at the office.

Taking a drink and considering his father's words, JR stayed silent for a while before breaking the silence in the room. "You're right. It is absolutely ridiculous that we're sitting here having this conversation. Julie has always known her place in my life; we had fun together when I was single and admittedly, I allowed that fun to go on too long, but she has always known there was never any possibility of her and I becoming anything more than two people that had fun together. I cut off any personal relationship I had with her years ago and quite frankly, I don't think dealing with her lack of ability to accept reality and move on is my responsibility or my problem anymore. Sue Ellen is my wife and we'll do what we damn well please; we've wasted far too much time censoring our actions and reactions because of other people. As you're asking me to though, for the sake of peace and productivity, if it's really an issue then I'll at least try to avoid Sue Ellen and Julie coming in contact again. If this issue persists though, I think we both know what needs to happen. There's a certain amount of professionalism required of our staff and if Julie can't or won't behave in accordance with those standards and expectations then she can have a glowing reference regarding her secretarial skills and she can find employment elsewhere". Taking another sip of his drink, JR waited for his father to react to his response. He had been somewhat more strongminded than his father probably wanted him to be, however, he had no interest or intention to just agree to what he was saying. If they were going to discuss the Julie situation then he was going to make sure he wasn't just passively listening; Julie knew her place and if she couldn't deal with it then she was free to move on from Ewing Oil. It wasn't his or Sue Ellen's responsibility to pander to her feelings and play nice with her, especially when according to Sue Ellen, she had no interest in playing nice with them and her catty side was alive and well.

"JR… watch it, you're pushing it. As I said, Julie is a damn fine secretary and I don't want to lose her. If you control yourself and she does the same, then we have no issue. That's all I'm asking for from you, a commitment to being conscious of your actions around her. I'm not telling you to censor yourself or to look too harshly at standards of professionalism in our office, I'm just telling you to stop rubbing it in her face that she's lost. You can have your wife and I'm very happy that you've made that your choice, but Julie isn't a business opponent, you don't need to make it a competition and neither does she. Like I said before, you're both getting this talk, it's not just you, so listen to me and tell me you'll do it, then we can all move on from this ridiculous discussion and start doing what we're here to do, pump oil and make money". Giving his son a hard stare, Jock waited for JR to nod and agree with him.

"Mm, and as I said daddy, I'll try to avoid any obvious opportunities for confrontation, but I'm not going to choose Julie over my wife, so if problems do persist, I trust you'll do what you have to do and we won't need to have this conversation again. There is no competition and no one is making it a competition except Julie. The sooner she realises she's not in line for anything, ever, the better", finishing his drink in one gulp, JR paused for a moment before speaking again, this time flipping their meeting back to their intended topic of conversation. "Now that that's settled, let's talk about something more pressing. I spoke to Joe at Ewing Eight earlier…" not giving his father a moment to respond to his first point, he then launched into why they had come together. He knew he was risking a tongue-lashing by effectively ending their earlier conversation before giving him an opportunity to respond, however, he didn't care. He had made his point and his father had to know he didn't really have any strong retort, it wasn't as if he had made any point other than the obvious. Sue Ellen was his wife, they were all Ewings and Ewings stuck with Ewings; Julie was free to have her own opinion if she so desired, but if she stepped out of line and attempted to start a fight with a Ewing, then her time at Ewing Oil was over.

To be continued…


	488. Not again!

**Dallas, Texas**

"…it's a simple question Sue Ellen. Do you trust your husband?" mentally kicking herself for pausing for a second too long before answering the first time, Sue Ellen listened as Doctor Williams repeated his question to her. "Of course I trust JR; it's that woman I don't trust. I don't think it's a secret or a surprise that she's a sore spot for me and that I'm not happy she's still in his life in some form", directing the first part of her answer toward Doctor Williams, she then turned toward JR as she continued speaking. "I know it's not your fault and I truly do trust you and believe you when you say you have no interest in her and you'd gladly let her go from Ewing Oil if you could, but you know how I am and you must know how she is. I can see it, she still wants you and she's biding her time until she sees an opening to make a move and have you again. I've been hurt by infidelity before and while I trust that you have the best intentions and wouldn't deliberately hurt me or put yourself in a situation where she could get everything she wants, I don't trust that she wouldn't manipulate a situation or simply offer you something in a way that's hard for a man to refuse. I don't like her because of her past with you, but her reasons for disliking me are much more complicated and clouded and I don't doubt that somewhere in her mind she would find great pleasure in being with you again just because it would hurt me". Being completely honest with JR as she spoke, she was relieved when he didn't snap at her or react badly to her assessment of the situation. She needed opportunities like their sessions with Doctor Williams offered and she was always relieved when taking those opportunities wasn't met with an immediate negative response.

"Good, good. Your honesty is always appreciated. JR, do you have anything to say in response to Sue Ellen's concerns?" turning his head as his name was mentioned, JR's relatively good mood deflated. There were days where he truly saw the benefit of his and Sue Ellen's sessions with Doctor Williams, but there were also days where he wondered what went through the man's head sometimes and why on earth he was paying him so much money for his supposed help. "No, I don't", responding to Doctor Williams in a sharp tone, he then turned toward his wife and continued to speak, this time in a milder but still serious tone, "darlin', we've had this discussion before. I don't trust her either and I'm doing everything I can to avoid a potentially risky situation, but my hands are tied. Daddy likes Julie and until I become president and can make her redundant, or she does something that breaches professional standards, there's not much I can do. Unless of course you want me to do deal with her in the way I would other potential problems?" Annoyed by the repetition in their discussion, he felt himself responding in a way that was possibly too harsh for his wife's intentions, but probably just harsh enough to signify to the doctor that he was nearing his tolerance limit in their conversation. Of course he understood Sue Ellen's fear of future infidelity and Julie's possible intentions, but there wasn't much he could do about it other than reassure her that he was doing what he could and he wasn't the same man he had been in the past. They had been through her insecurities and his past mistakes a million times before and while he was empathetic to her emotions because he realised he had indeed hurt her very deeply, they had also previously discussed forgiveness and moving on from the past. If she trusted him like she said she did and she truly only distrusted Julie and her intentions, then there was little he could actually do or say at present and he saw little point to their conversation.

Gasping as JR spoke, Sue Ellen didn't quite know how she was supposed to react to his words and attitude. He clearly had no desire to have a conversation they had had before, but instead of making a general statement to both her and Doctor Williams or asking to end the conversation where they were, he'd spoken in a harsh manner that had hurt her feelings, whether he had intended to or not. "Ahem, perhaps we should pause this conversation for a moment and all take a breather", hearing Doctor Williams clearing his throat, she stayed silent for a moment, but after a few seconds of silence, she began to speak. "No, it's ok; this isn't just about me, this affects JR too and he's just as entitled to make his opinion clear as I am", responding to Doctor Williams first, she turned toward JR, "I don't want you to hurt her, as much as I do want to slap her sometimes. I purposely don't wish to know the details of your business dealings so I don't know exactly what you had in mind professionally, but I've experienced enough of your personal backlash in the past to know how painful and scary you can be when you're angry. I don't hate her so deeply that I would want her to end up hurt, I just want her out of our lives and it bothers me when I feel like that's never going to happen. She can have any man in the world for all I care, she just can't have you and I'd really prefer if she didn't think she could. With that being said though, I understand your point and I never intended to make you feel as though you were a failure or you had to explain your position again. I was just answering the question posed to me and I suppose I took it a bit too far. These sessions are supposed to be for us to open up to each other and I know we do that in our everyday lives now anyway so it's not so necessary to do so here, but I still like to get a third-party perspective and opinion to assist me in clearing my head. Much of what I say in these sessions is me just trying to make sense of my feelings and while I love that you pay close attention to my words and thoughts, a lot of the time all you need to worry about is what I'm telling you. I trust you and I love you and I'm afraid of losing you. Even though the risk of that happening is minimal now, I don't enjoy thinking about it, because I've been hurt in the past and I don't want to be hurt again".

Listening to his patients as they spoke, Doctor Williams stayed silent. He would interject if required, but it was clear from JR's earlier response that he wasn't interested in his opinion, and from the way he and Sue Ellen were conversing at the moment, it appeared that they were communicating with each other just fine, and if anything, his poking and directing was more antagonistic than helpful.

Sitting silently, JR closed his eyes, placed his fingers on his forehead and contemplated his wife's words for a long while. Opening his eyes after a few moments, he then looked straight at her and spoke in a quiet, somewhat confused voice, "ok. Just one thing though; explain to me why it feels like we're arguing? You trust me, you love me, you're afraid of losing me even though you know it's irrational. Can we just accept things as they are and not allow Julie to ruin the good run we're in in our relationship? I'll respect your wishes, I won't forcibly move her out of her role, but you have to trust me to be around her professionally without worrying about it. I love you too and I don't want to spend our free time, or the time where you come to visit me when I'm at work, arguing. Julie is nothing to me; let the thought of her go and allow me to deal with her. The minute she steps over the professional line, she's out, but before that happens, if that happens, there's nothing we can do and no reason for us to argue about it. I come home to you and John Ross every night, I haven't been out-of-town on business in months and the thought of having sex with Julie now is not the least bit appealing; I'm a different man now, I just wish you'd remember that sometimes. I'm sorry about the pain I caused you in the past and I don't want to minimise how much it hurt you, but if you trust me and you've forgiven me, then can we please move on? I am so damn sick of having this conversation. I want to live our lives, without feeling wrong or guilty when I have no reason to, and I want you to be happy". Feeling his volume and tone of voice changing as he spoke, he could tell from the way her facial expression changed that his message was coming across loud and clear, and when she reached out to touch his hand, he knew she understood him. Sometimes he needed to speak harshly to snap her out of her thought cycle and while it wasn't pleasant for her, it certainly worked.

To be continued…


	489. Sincere

**Dallas, Texas**

"Bobby?" walking into the Southfork dining room after her appointment with JR and Doctor Williams, Sue Ellen was surprised to find not her mother-in-law, but her brother-in-law supervising John Ross as he examined the food on his plate before attempting to get it in his mouth. It wasn't that Bobby was an unwelcome person in her son's life, because he wasn't, she was really just surprised to see him at home in the middle of the day, with Miss Ellie nowhere to be seen. Whatever his reason for being with John Ross though, she was pleased to see him, because it was good for John Ross to spend time with his family members one-on-one as well as in a large group, and from his relaxed, happy manner, it was good for Bobby too.

"Oh, hi Sue Ellen. I hope you don't mind. Ray and I are going into Braddock later so I came up to the house to change out of my dirty clothes and have lunch…", looking at his sister-in-law, Bobby motioned to her to join him, partly because he wanted the company and partly because it was easier to supervise his nephew when he didn't have to turn his head. "…anyway, I came down, had lunch and then mama and John Ross arrived from upstairs and mama asked whether I'd watch him while she prepared his lunch. That was no problem of course, I love children; I don't know whether JR ever told you, but I used to coach little league when I was in high school and then I did it on and off throughout college. That's really beside the point though, John Ross is my nephew, of course I didn't mind watching him. Anyway, long story short, mama got a phone call from a very flustered sounding Linda Bradley just as she brought John Ross' lunch out and she asked whether I'd mind supervising him eating while she put out the fire". Analysing his sister-in-law's expression closely, he was pleased when she smiled at his mention of loving children and didn't appear to be upset by or preparing any objection to his mother's actions. "I know you didn't ask, but I'm sure you were wondering where mama is", speaking a final sentence, he relaxed completely when she looked directly at him and smiled; she was JR's wife, but she wasn't JR, she wasn't immediately suspicious of people's actions or accusatory of their intentions.

Letting out a small laugh at his almost over-explanation of the situation, Sue Ellen smiled genuinely at her brother-in-law, "you're right, I did wonder where Miss Ellie was, not because I don't trust you, just in general; so thank you for answering. As for spending time with John Ross, you're family, of course I don't mind you being around him, in fact, I welcome it. I think sometimes people misinterpret my intentions; I want John Ross to grow up with a clear understanding of who his parents are, but that doesn't have to come at the expense of a relationship with the rest of his family". Pausing for a moment, she found her mind drifting to the distant relationship her mother and Jock had established with John Ross. Before she got too caught up in her thoughts though, she was pulled back into the present by the sound of her son giggling as he squished some of his food in his hand before it eventually made its way into his mouth. "I don't think JR ever told me about your coaching days, but I vaguely remember you telling me something when you were home from college one time. I suppose it's a good thing you love children, John Ross is probably going to be a dribbly, sticky mess by the end of this meal and since your supervising, you're on clean-up duty", grinning as she spoke, she let out another laugh at the way Bobby's facial expression changed. "Don't worry, I'm joking. I'm here now, I'll do it. If you're actually babysitting though…" not wanting to explicitly tell him not to be like his father or some of the men the ladies in her mother and baby group were married to, she stayed silent, though from his facial expression, her message had gotten through loud and clear.

"Don't worry Sue Ellen, if I can clean up after the animals on the ranch, I can certainly clean up after a baby. It's not my favourite thing to do, but I'm not remiss, I'll do what I have to do…" unsure of why it suddenly felt like they were having a serious conversation, one he had no business being a part of, he felt compelled to change the subject. "So, uh, how was your afternoon?" not realising where she had just returned from, he was surprised and annoyed with himself when instead of smiling and regaling him with a story about her charity work or shopping, she looked at him seriously and somewhat sadly before answering, "it was fine. I don't know where JR and I would be without Doctor Williams though…" from both her words and her facial expression, it was obvious to him that his question had brought some less pleasant memories back into the forefront of her mind. He didn't know what to say or how to react to her question, he had his own opinion regarding his brother's marriage, but it wasn't something he made public very often and he had a feeling that even now, Sue Ellen wasn't asking him to. "Don't worry about a reality that isn't real, focus on what is real. You and JR are together now and I know it probably doesn't make much difference to you what I think, but I know my brother, he's different now to how he was in the past and that's a good thing". Giving her a small, encouraging smile as he spoke, he wasn't surprised when her serious, sad facial expression turned into something more optimistic and genuinely happy.

"Thank you Bobby. You're right, you've just said what everyone else has said and what I already knew, I just needed to hear it again". Despite coming out of their therapy session much happier than she had gone in, and despite feeling happy and playful just moments before, she had also continued to struggle with allowing negative thoughts to overtake her mind, however, having Bobby around had helped her, even if he hadn't said anything profound. Staying silent for a moment as she thought about everything and tried to readjust her mood to reflect the actual reality of her life, not the imaginary reality she psyched herself into believing was real, she found her mind drifting once again, this time landing on a somewhat unexpected topic. "You're a really good listener, did you know that? Don't quote me on this, but I have a feeling that one day, some emotional lady is going to come to you looking for guidance and probably comfort, and her issue might be something to be genuinely concerned about, or it might be totally irrational, but either way, I have this funny feeling that you'll know exactly what to say". There was more she wanted to say, but she didn't want to cross too many boundaries or make him feel uncomfortable, not after he had attempted to bring their conversation back to something neutral and nonintrusive earlier. Seeing Miss Ellie appear from upstairs, she mentally congratulated herself for not saying more, because she didn't feel like explaining to her mother-in-law why she and Bobby were having a heart-to-heart, and she was sure Bobby felt the same way.

Greeting his mother and then looking at his watch, Bobby mumbled a few words about meeting Ray before scarpering out of the dining room. How his formerly cold-hearted brother had managed to snag and hold on to a woman like Sue Ellen was a mystery, but he knew the way things were now and he respected the sanctity of marriage enough not to involve himself too deeply in investigating such things. Walking out into the cool air, he took a deep breath and began the short walk back down to the stables; he needed a minute to clear his head, Sue Ellen's tone and expression had shaken him. A man could very easily get in trouble if he wasn't careful, but luckily, he was careful and he cared too much to allow any of his deep, subconscious thoughts to bubble to the surface and ruin the way things were now.

To be continued…


	490. On the Right Track

**Dallas, Texas**

"Good boy, you can do it", holding onto John Ross' hands and taking a few small steps backward, Sue Ellen encouraged her son to toddle a few steps toward her. He had shuffling and crawling down, he loved to feed himself, he seemed to understand the basics of object permanence and he was slowly beginning to use sounds that actually sounded like words; he was happy, healthy and achieving everything he was supposed to at his age according to the book Doctor Danvers had given her at his last check-up. Comparing his progress to some of the other children in their playgroup, she could see where he was a little more advanced and a little further behind some of them in terms of how developed his skills were, and while she sometimes wished he'd verbally communicate with her just a little more, like Marie's daughter Rebecca did, she wasn't worried. John Ross was an individual and he had his own strengths; where Rebecca was advanced for her age in verbal skills, John Ross seemed to be advanced for his age in motor skills. From the way he was always pulling himself up into a standing position and from the way he reached his arms up to anyone taller than him to assist him in keeping his balance, she had a feeling that he'd be standing and walking independently before any of his other skills developed further.

Cheering him on as he walked a few steps forward before his little legs wobbled, his knees bent and he fell back into a sitting position, she let out a loud, genuine laugh as he looked around him curiously before looking up at her, smiling, making a small noise and reaching his arms up again. He was resilient, stubborn and determined and as commendable and beneficial as those traits would be in the future, at present they were more adorable and charming than anything else. She was his mother, it was only natural for her to find his behaviour sweet and fascinating, possibly more than other people would, however, with his large brown eyes and playful, joyful and affectionate disposition, she doubted anyone could resist taking a liking to him. "You like walking don't you?" smiling at him as she spoke, she reached down and took hold of his arms again and repeated what she had done before, stepping back as he stepped toward her.

A good while later, after a little bit of walking practice, some time with his wooden blocks, shape puzzles and his favourite, his colourful and very noisy toy xylophone, she carried him into the kitchen, asked Francisca to prepare his bottle and then continued on upstairs to change him and get him ready for his nap. Sitting in his darkened room, reading him a short story about farm animals as he drank his formula, she smiled to herself contentedly as his eyes began to droop and the grip he had on his bottle slowly became less and less strong; he was falling asleep right on schedule and she felt good. She was sure everything would change soon enough and she would once again find herself feeling completely intimidated and unqualified to deal with the challenges motherhood presented in her life, however, at present, she felt confident, happy and proud of herself and her son.

Across town, JR clinked glasses with his father and grinned to himself with equal pride in himself in his role as vice president of Ewing Oil as Sue Ellen had in herself as the mother of their son. His father had been right about one thing, the wider economy wasn't doing well at all and the oil industry in particular was struggling, however, his father's prediction of doom and gloom for Ewing Oil hadn't been entirely correct. His father had always assumed that his long-term plan wouldn't work and they would really be scraping by during the next year if they weren't careful, however, JR had always maintained that he knew better and his plan to focus on a high quantity of output would work. He had sown the seeds of his plan a long time ago and while Ewing Oil wasn't exactly in its best state at present, it was definitely in a better position than it would have been otherwise. Years ago, when things had started to look a little shaky, he had pushed for Ewing Oil to take a different path to their counterparts; instead of being cautious and worrying about the economy, they were going full steam ahead and pumping as much, selling as much and buying up as much of other, less fortunate companies as they could. The idea of using the misfortunes of other companies to their own advantage wasn't a new one, people had been buying assets cheap from failing entities for millennia as far as he was concerned. As well as that, it wasn't unheard of for a company to do the opposite of what other companies were doing. In this case, instead of cautiously rationing what little supply they had because the United States had reached peak oil production and the amount left to discover and extract was only set to decline from now, Ewing Oil would try and control as much of that domestic oil as they possibly could. If they could pump, refine and sell enough oil now, even in a bad economy, they should theoretically have enough money to buy them some time in the future when they were required to come up with a new strategy and way of running a profitable business. At some point, whether they wanted to or not, they would probably need to look outside the United States to keep up with the demand for the product they sold, he knew that and he was quietly thinking about it, however, at present, that wasn't the main thing on his mind. After months of trying to explain to his father why and how his short-term plan would work, he was beginning to see it all come together and he was very proud of himself.

To be continued…


	491. Celebratory Family Lunch

**Dallas, Texas**

"What about you Sue Ellen? Will you and John Ross be joining us this week?" packing up John Ross' things after playgroup, Sue Ellen looked up at Carol and her son Daniel before shaking her head. "No, unfortunately we won't be able to make it this week", picking John Ross up, she then directed the next part of her answer toward him, "we're having lunch with daddy aren't we?" Hearing his happy squeal and mumbled but understandable, "dada", she smiled widely; he knew who 'daddy' was and his obvious happiness at the mention of him made her very happy. "Oh, well we'll miss you. Have fun though, it's not every day we get to see our husbands for lunch", sensing a slight tone of envy in Carol's voice, Sue Ellen just smiled politely and nodded, "no, it isn't. Our husbands are busy men, but it's always nice when they can take a moment out of their day to spend time with their families isn't it?" Looking at her watch, Sue Ellen feigned surprise at the time before smiling again, looking around the room at the rest of the mothers and babies and waving goodbye to them, "we'll see you next week". She wasn't prepared to match Carol's potential negativity and lack of enthusiasm because it seemed petty to do so, and in all honesty, if she put herself in Carol's position for a moment, she understood where she was coming from and why her words may have come out in the tone they had. It was true, JR was a busy man and he often didn't have time for lunch himself let alone lunch with his family, however, he was also a much more alert and sensitive man now than he had been in the past and he was more aware of how his behaviour affected his family than some men were. Carol was probably like a lot of wives in the society they lived in; overworked, underappreciated and a bit too quiet about her opinions when it came to expressing them to the people that truly needed to hear them.

Half an hour later, Sue Ellen stepped into the elevator, allowed John Ross to press the button for Ewing Oil's floor and then closed her eyes as the doors closed and the elevator began to move. This was a happy occasion, JR had come home in a wonderful mood the previous evening and the slight shakiness between them during of the past few days had been all but forgotten, however as she approached Ewing Oil now, she felt a little apprehensive. As the elevator doors opened and the Ewing Oil reception area came into view though, her slight nervousness resided and she suddenly felt a lot better than she had just a moment ago; Julie was nowhere in sight and from the look on Diane's face, she wasn't going to have any trouble during her visit to the office today. "Good afternoon Mrs Ewing, John Ross", smiling widely and genuinely as she stood and greeted them, it was obvious to Sue Ellen that Diane held nothing but positive feelings toward them, and for that she was eternally grateful. "Good afternoon Diane. John Ross, you remember daddy's secretary don't you?" speaking to Diane and then turning her attention to John Ross, her good mood increased as her son made a happy sound at the mention of 'daddy' again before smiling shyly at Diane.

A couple of minutes later, after a little small talk and strangely, a long tight cuddle from a newly shy John Ross, Sue Ellen large smile only got larger as the door to JR's office opened and he walked out to greet them. "Hello darlin'" leaning down to give her a short but passionate kiss, he then scooped their son out of her arms and lifted him in the air, causing him to smile and giggle, "that's my boy". Observing the situation, Sue Ellen was relaxed and happy; John Ross was clearly just a little shy around people he didn't know too well, however, when it came to those he knew and loved, he was a cheerful, delightful little boy. "Let me go and get my hat and then we'll go, ok?" nodding to indicate she had heard him, Sue Ellen then took hold of her son again and returned to her general conversation with Diane. She didn't know where Julie was, or Jock for that matter, but she didn't care to ask, she was just happy that her husband and son were happy and her day was running smoothly.

Not long after leaving the office, Sue Ellen smiled contently to herself again as she buckled John Ross into the restaurant highchair, handed him his favourite textured book to play with and then began to look at the menu. Family friendly restaurants were never somewhere she and JR had gone before they'd had a child, however, now that they were parents, she was very thankful for their existence, because despite John Ross being fairly well-behaved, she had a feeling that diners at nicer restaurants like the Oil Baron's Club and Scalini would not be thrilled by his presence. Ordering their food and drinks, she held back a laugh as JR emphasised to the waitress how he wanted his steak cooked, just as he always did when they ate somewhere where he wasn't a regular and the staff didn't know his preferences or understand just how much their good service would benefit them financially. It was funny, JR hated being seen as predictable, and in many ways, he wasn't, but in a lot of other ways, he was. It was fine, she enjoyed a little bit of predictability just as much as she enjoyed when he was spontaneous, especially when his predictability revolved around their family life. They had been through enough confusing, hard times in their marriage and she was glad to finally feel sure that when he said he loved her, he meant it, when he said he was and would always be faithful to her, he meant it, and when he promised to do something for her and John Ross, he would do it. A little bit of spontaneity and surprise was always nice to have in their marriage though and she felt like they had just enough of that too, especially since they had started the new year off with a resolution to spend more time together as a couple. She had pre-booked time in his schedule for the upcoming year because he was a busy man, but for a number of the trips away they had planned, the majority of the planning was for JR to figure out. As well as that, he was good at planning things on his own and then surprising her with them. It was nice, she loved being married and she loved being a mother; she was very happy with her life and she was very happy that her husband and son appeared to be happy with their lives too.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Happy New Year! Thank you for your continued reading and support :)**


	492. Resignation

**Dallas, Texas**

"What's this?" looking over the short letter his youngest son had just handed him, Jock shook his head in disbelief before staring up at him and waiting for him to explain it himself. Surely Bobby wasn't doing what he thought he was doing. "It's my letter of resignation from my position at Ewing Oil", listening to his son's words, his annoyance and disappointment grew. Bobby was supposed to be the son he didn't have to worry about or have words with; he was supposed to be the one that was grateful for the position he was in in life and was happy to follow the path planned for him, which at this stage was dual employment at Ewing Oil and Southfork Ranch. "Why?" speaking with a mixture of hurt and annoyance, he questioned Bobby's decision, though as his son began to respond, he almost wished he hadn't asked; he wasn't sure he wanted to hear another whiny speech from one of his sons.

Despite his wife insisting he had intentions to and the circumstances just weren't right, the truth was that Gary had never been able to commit to anything, least of all hard work. Then there was JR, he was a hard worker, he had a brilliant business mind and he was extremely competitive and motivated by being the best, but he had had his fair share of complaints, brooding moods and had been involved in more than one malicious scheme motivated by jealousy and perceived unfairness at Ewing Oil. Lastly, there was Bobby, his youngest and dearest son; Bobby wasn't perfect, he'd complained about his lack of inclusion in family business before, but after a bit of discussion and negotiation, things had changed for the better and their personal and business relationship had returned to its usual, positive state. For the most part, Bobby had been the son he'd had to worry about the least and had been able to indulge and receive the most positive personal feedback from; he'd always enjoyed their relationship, it had been relatively stress-free and enjoyable; now though, after quickly reading his letter, he wasn't sure that that status quo was set to continue.

"Well daddy, it's written more eloquently in the letter, but I suppose the gist of it is that I tried, I struggled, we compromised and now I have made my decision. It doesn't make any sense for us to stand here and pretend that I'm a great oilman, because we both know I'm not. I'm good at socialising and promoting, but with the way things have been around here lately I haven't had many opportunities to do so with a captive audience. I'm useless to you here at the office when it comes to making decisions based on geological reports and other scientific data, and between you and JR I don't get anywhere near being able to make decisions based on costs and potential profits. We decided months ago that oil wasn't for me and I've just chosen to accelerate my transition from oilman to rancher. It was always going to happen; you and I both know that there's no way that I'll still have a job here at Ewing Oil when you retire and JR becomes the president. It's not fair and I wasn't happy about that reality when I first heard you had formally promised majority control and eventual full control and ownership to JR in the future, but I learned to accept it and live with it. After a lot of thinking, I'm actually happy with that decision too, because I know you intend the same for me with the ranch, that's why it's written in to our agreement that I will transition from oil to ranching and eventual management and ownership of the ranch business. I'm not shunning Ewing business or trying to anger you by not following the plan exactly, I'm simply moving things along a little quicker by standing down from splitting my time between two of our family businesses".

"I love ranching and I'm good at it, just like you and JR love oil and you're good at it; I want to have what you and JR have, a real satisfaction and pride in your work at the end of the day and I think I can get that from ranching much more easily than I can from oil. That's not to say I don't like oil, because I do; some of my favourite memories are from when we would take trips out to the oil fields before they hit, and I do enjoy my current role here at Ewing Oil. I really just think I am more suited for ranching and since we already agreed that I would take over the running of the ranch in a couple of years, I don't see any real harm in moving forward with that plan now. I don't expect to be running the ranch straight away, obviously there is a lot I still have to learn, but I want to devote my full attention to doing so rather than only half of my time. Please, read the letter thoroughly and try to understand where I'm coming from. I want this and I'd like to do it with your blessing".

Listening as his youngest son spoke, explaining himself further, Jock's mood began to change. At first, he had assumed that he was about to whine about how difficult and unfair life at Ewing Oil was, all while neglecting to acknowledge the amount of attention that had gone into his training and the amount of compromise and continued praise that came with his new, better suited position. As well as that, from the quick glance at the letter, he had assumed Bobby was jumping ahead and wishing to move into his future fulltime job at the ranch, but from his speech, he could tell he genuinely understood that he was in no way ready for that just yet and was planning on staying in his current role. He was annoyed that he had made the decision on his own, without consulting him first, and he was disappointed to hear that despite all of his and JR's efforts to be inclusive, Bobby still felt like he was being excluded from important decisions. His annoyance and disappointment now though were less severe now than a few minutes ago and if Bobby was as serious as his impassioned speech had made him sound, he was willing to listen and discuss it further. Bobby could be a hothead and there were moments when it was very clear he was the youngest son, the one who was used to getting his own way, however, he wasn't malicious and he probably did have a few good, well-intentioned reasons for why he was doing what he was doing; the least he could do now was listen. "Sit down", pointing at the chair in front of his desk, he waited for his youngest son to take a seat before he looked at the paper in his hand again and began to read, this time more carefully and analytically than his original perusal.

To be continued…


	493. Appeal

**Dallas, Texas**

"Daddy, I'm telling you, it's not going to work any other way. You can't give me another job or more important tasks here at Ewing Oil without annoying JR and disrupting the way things are now, and I'm telling you, I'm not interested in prolonging what I know is a role that's going to come to an end sometime in the near future anyway. Please, let me move on, I want to be a rancher, I love the land and the animals and I'm not stupid, I do have a college degree and I took plenty of economics, accounting and math classes to get that degree. You said it yourself when you offered me the opportunity to make ranching my future, with the right training and experience I'll be well capable of doing so when the time is right. What I'm trying to tell you now is that I think the time is right. Southfork Ranch and Ewing Oil are your companies right now, but in the future they'll belong to me and JR, Ewing owned and Ewing run, individually, not jointly; we all know what the future of our family businesses look like and we're all happy with that picture. I don't understand why it's so unexpected and incomprehensible to you that I don't want to waste my time treading water at a company that will never be mine when I have a company closer to home and closer to my heart that will one day be mine. Daddy please, this is about my happiness and fulfilment just as much as it is business; I don't want to be JR's target again and I have no interest in being his adversary. There will always be a bit of brotherly competition when it comes to overall profit, but I can deal with that as long as it's not the same vicious competition it turned into when I first started working here at Ewing Oil. I don't think it will be though, because JR doesn't want the ranch, he only cares for Ewing Oil, and luckily for him, I'm happy to put all of my effort into the ranch. It's a win-win situation and it's one we've already agreed on moving toward, really daddy, this is just me stepping down and stepping up a little earlier than planned".

Trying to explain to his father why compromising further and taking a more active role in Ewing Oil wasn't a good idea, Bobby hoped that his father was actually listening rather than just pretending to listen all while having already made up his mind on the issue. It wasn't fair to him to force him to do something that he was explaining in a calm, collected manner he didn't want to do any longer and wasn't interested in discussing ways around it anymore. It also wasn't fair to JR; he had originally assumed his oldest brother was just spiteful and bitter about his entrance into Ewing Oil, their father's positive feedback about his work and his quick progress up the ladder toward a meaningful position, however, after working at the ranch, it became clear to him how JR felt about Ewing Oil. Just as JR loved almost everything about the oil business, he had found real joy, passion and satisfaction in working on the ranch and it had given him a sense of perspective when it came to understanding why his brother would feel threatened, annoyed and angry when he'd come along and inserted himself into the way things were run. It was wrong to think and he felt guilty when he did catch himself thinking it, but he was glad that there were two Ewing owned businesses and only two Ewing sons interested in running those businesses. He liked his brother Gary and at times he did miss him a lot and wish things were different, so he felt bad after moments of selfishness like when he felt relieved and happy at his absence from Ewing life. The reality was though that as it was, the plan for the future was near perfect when considering the number of separate Ewing entities and the number of willing and capable Ewing sons available. They had made the plan months ago and all three Ewing men had agreed, so he didn't understand exactly why his father was making such a drama about it now. They didn't need to compromise again, they already had the perfect plan organized and ready to enact.

"Ok, let me think about it and I'll get back to you with my decision sometime this week. I know you're free to hand in your notice and leave Ewing Oil at any point you wish to, that's your right as a an employee, but as the current owner of Southfork Ranch, I don't have to agree to employ you full-time, you do understand that, don't you?" Listening to the tone of his father's voice change from tired and resigned to gruff and derisive, Bobby nodded his head warily and waited for his father to make the next move. He understood the legal position he was in, he had sought legal advice before he had done anything, including even mentioning his plan in passing to anyone, and he knew his father was correct, to a point at least. There was nothing stopping him from refusing to change their employment agreement at the ranch just yet, however, he was locked in to his promise of current part-time training, further continued training and future ownership, and as far as he was concerned, that was enough. Besides, although he didn't like to acknowledge it very often, he was definitely aware of his status as his father's favourite son, the son who could manage to somehow convince Jock Ewing to say or do things he wouldn't ordinarily do. It might be hard work to get what he wanted, but just by being who he was, he knew he had a slight advantage and right now, he didn't care whether it was selfish to be happy about his status.

Sensing that his father wasn't going to continue speaking until he received confirmation that he understood the first part of his response, he then nodded again, more confidently this time, before answering. "Yes sir, I understand both of our rights and I am respectfully asking for you to just consider what I'm asking before automatically turning down my request, so thank you for agreeing to do that". Unsure of what else to say and receiving no verbal response from his father, he then felt awkward as the room descended into silence and after a few moments, he decided it was best to leave things as they were for the moment. "I guess I'll go now then. Thank you again for considering my request", waving his hand awkwardly, because his father hadn't extended his hand for a handshake or a pat on the back, he then stood, turned and left the room. He wasn't entirely sure what was going on in his father's head right now but he hoped his emotive speech had been enough to have some positive impact on his appeal.

To be continued…


	494. Brooding

**Dallas, Texas**

Slowing for a moment and squinting to get a better view, Sue Ellen then clicked her tongue, squeezed her legs and changed the direction her horse Chestnut was heading. Southfork didn't belong to her and whatever was going on probably wasn't any of her business but she was curious and if something was wrong she knew she would feel very guilty later if she just minded her own business and didn't investigate. Slowing as she neared the pond, she assessed her surroundings; it was definitely Bobby's horse Ace tied to the tree, what was less clear to her though was where Bobby was. Stopping, dismounting, leading Chestnut over to the pond to take a drink and then tying him to the tree, she then turned around to look for her brother-in-law, "Bobby?" Although she was looking and listening for any sign of him, somehow she still managed to jump in surprise when he made his presence known. "I'm up here", looking up, she let out a small nervous laugh before walking over to the treehouse ladder; of course he hadn't abandoned his horse or anything dramatic like that, he was just sitting in his treehouse, minding his own business.

"Come on up; I won't bite", observing his sister-in-law's jumpy behaviour, Bobby tried his best to sound friendly and cheerful, even if it wasn't exactly how he had felt just a moment ago. The treehouse was his favourite place to come when he wanted to be alone with his thoughts and as of late he had been riding out more and more. His life work life wasn't complicated, not in the way JR, his father, and Ray's lives were; he was an employee and a trainee, but he was also relatively free to do his own thing with his time. He wasn't in control of anything and being a Ewing, he didn't have to worry about working a certain amount of hours just to make enough money to get him through the week. He was very grateful for the financial and social position he was in, because being a Ewing did mean he had options, however, in some cases, it also felt like it limited his options. He wanted to be a rancher, he had no doubts now, but to actually transition into working on the ranch full-time, he had to get his father's permission, and as a grown man, that didn't sit well with him. He had made some progress, he had officially resigned from his position at Ewing Oil and his father was thinking about his request, but before he received any official answer, he was in limbo. Ray was a good person and he was always happy to train him and include him in ranch business, but he was also a busy man with a diverse job and it wasn't always practical for him to have to focus on teaching and training. As well as that, for Bobby, there was a difference between general ranch hand duties and the work he would actually be expected to do in the future and today was one of the days where he felt like he was more of a burden than a help to anyone. He had taken off earlier in the day for a solo ride around the ranch and ended up at his favourite thinking spot, his childhood treehouse, where he had spent the last hour contemplating life and staring off into space.

Surprised by his words at first, Sue Ellen hesitated for a moment before climbing up the small wooden ladder and into the treehouse, taking a seat next to Bobby. Sitting in silence for a moment, she then spoke, "I'm sorry if I'm invading your private time. I was riding and saw Ace tied to a tree but I couldn't see you, so I just wanted to make sure you weren't hurt". He hadn't looked annoyed by her presence, in fact, he'd been friendly earlier, but sitting next to him now she had a feeling that his mind was a million miles away and he really hadn't been expecting to have to talk to anyone for a while. "You're not, and thank you", looking at her briefly for a moment before looking out the pond again, Bobby kept his response short and added no additional information, and suddenly Sue Ellen felt awkward and out of place. Looking off in the same direction as her brother-in-law, she silently wondered what to do next; she could either leave now because she knew he was ok, or she could do what the curious part of her wanted to do and ask him exactly what was affecting his mood.

"Bobby? I don't mean to pry, because it's none of my business, but is everything ok? There's nothing wrong with wanting to spend a little time by yourself, but if you don't mind me saying, you seem distracted…" cutting her sentence short before she also noted that he seemed sad, she looked at him compassionately and hoped that he didn't snap at her for being nosy. Luckily for her, Bobby wasn't JR and he didn't automatically assume she intended to use his vulnerability against him, or that she was snooping just because she enjoyed gossip. "I guess I am a little distracted. I came out here to think, because a few things in my life are up in the air at the moment, but I'm fine, really. Everything will sort itself out soon and I think you and JR will be very happy when it does, but at this moment in time nothing has quite been confirmed yet and that uncertainty is affecting my mood". Listening to his response, Sue Ellen was still a little confused, because he was so vague about what exactly was on his mind and how she and JR tied into his mood, however, emotionally, his reassurance that everything was ok did make her feel a little better. "Bobby, do you remember when you and I were speaking earlier in the week? You told me not to worry about a reality that isn't real and to instead focus on what is real. Doctor Williams quite often says something very similar to me. You have a lot going for you and I'm sure that as you said, everything will sort itself out soon, but until then, if there's nothing you can do then you're better off not thinking about it at all, because trust me, concentrating on the 'what ifs' of life will slowly eat away at your happiness". She had no idea if what she was saying was relevant or helpful to him, but she said it anyway, because she did care and she did want to help. From the look on his face, he was considering what she was saying, though she wasn't sure whether it was in a positive or negative manner, and when he responded, her level of understanding diminished even further. "Mhm, I suppose you're right", there was nothing weird about his short response acknowledging her advice, however, the way he chose to continue his sentence baffled her, "so, how do you like living in your new home?" as far as she was aware, the two topics weren't connected and she wasn't sure why he had connected them. Considering his question and beginning to answer, she was sure she would find out soon enough though; Bobby was a good talker and now that they were talking, she was sure he would open up a little more as time went on.

To be continued…


	495. Trying to Connect the Dots

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR?" handing her husband his drink and then taking a seat next to him, Sue Ellen decided now was as good a time as any to broach the topic she'd been considering all afternoon. John Ross was getting older and was learning to play independently, so now instead of splitting their attention between entertaining him and talking to each other, pre-dinner drinks at their home was more of a time where they could all spend time as a family but could also have a bit of time to be adults and have full conversations. "Will you tell me about Jenna Wade?" she and Bobby weren't and hadn't ever been exceptionally close, but she was an empathetic person and did care about him and she had noticed that lately, he seemed to be more distant and lonely than he had in the past. It was no secret now that when Jock retired, JR would take over Ewing Oil and Bobby would take over the ranch, much to the pleasure of both Ewing sons, however, it was also obvious to her that where JR was thrilled with the way things were playing out in the present, Bobby wasn't quite as satisfied. Bobby hadn't explained much to her, about anything really, but she had a feeling that it wasn't just work bothering him; his questions about her and JR's new home and his expressed desire to spend more time with John Ross hadn't gone unnoticed and she had a feeling that they weren't just unrelated sentences meant as small talk. Bobby seemed sad, reserved and lonely lately and she was concerned; she herself had gone through a period of adjustment after graduating college, and again after marrying JR, and she found herself wondering whether perhaps he was having a hard time with the way his life was right now. He had a lot going for him, he was wealthy, handsome, sociable and kind, but he was also 'Jock Ewing's son' and 'JR Ewing's brother', he had never really done anything serious on his own and the things he had done on his own merit weren't worth a whole lot outside of a high school or college environment.

"Jenna? Where's this coming from? I've already told you most of what I remember, but I suppose I can answer some specific questions. What do you want to know?" crinkling his forehead, JR took a drink and waited for his wife to elaborate. It had been years since he had seen Jenna and months since he had thought about her; they were living in what had once been her family home and he sometimes got the sense that Bobby was reliving the past whenever he visited, but other than that, she never crossed his mind. Additionally, Sue Ellen had never met Jenna and apart from the basic history of their home and its place in Bobby's past, he didn't really understand why she would be asking about her. He was happy to answer her questions though, he had always liked Jenna and fortunately for both he and Sue Ellen, he could talk about her without feeling awkward, because she was a completely neutral woman in his life, she had always been Bobby's girl and he had never even considered trying to change that.

"Well no, you haven't really told me anything. I feel like I know more about her daddy than her. Miss Ellie once showed me a picture of her and Bobby together at one of the Ewing barbecues, and I've heard bits and pieces about the old days, but I feel like I'm missing huge chunks of her story, or more specifically, her and Bobby's story". Briefly explaining, Sue Ellen wondered how much she should tell her husband about her chats with his brother; she knew that honesty and transparency were key to a good marriage and she wanted to make sure made a continued effort to be a good wife, but she also wanted the opportunity to be a good friend and family member. She didn't want to put herself in a situation where she had the best intentions, but JR found out about her and Bobby's interactions and overreacted because she hadn't told him anything about them, but she also didn't want to hurt Bobby by revealing all of the private details he had told her in unspoken confidence. She was sure she could be both a good wife and a good sister-in-law though, and as she continued to speak, she kept her intentions in mind.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but Bobby has been quieter lately than he usually is, and every time I've spoken to him recently he's seemed a bit withdrawn from his own life, but interested in the small details of our lives. I can't really explain why, but I think he misses Jenna. I can't say for sure though, because I've never met her and I have never asked him, but he seems too interested in things that are vaguely connected to her for it to just be a coincidence. I could be wrong, he could just miss being in a serious relationship, but I don't think it's that general. Your mama told me once that Jenna was Bobby's first real love, and Bobby has told me a couple of times how much he enjoys spending time with children, and from the way he is with John Ross and Lucy, I don't doubt that that's true and he's looking forward to making your daddy a grandfather again someday. I know men don't dream of marriage and domesticity like women do, but I don't know, there was something interesting about how he said things and the way he acts sometimes. As well as that, it's clear to me from his level of curiosity about this house that he still sometimes thinks about his past here, his past with Jenna. I'm not stupid, I know that he wasn't thinking about us specifically when he enquired about whether we noticed and fixed the squeaky window in the third bedroom on the right of our upstairs hallway, or whether we have looked around the attic. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that it seems quite obvious to me that Bobby is nostalgic for the past, but I don't understand why he has to be nostalgic for the past rather than happy in the present. If he and Jenna loved each other so much, why aren't they together anymore? Like I said before, I feel like I'm missing important pieces of the puzzle, because it doesn't make sense to me. What happened after Lucas Wade died? What happened after that Ewing barbecue where Bobby and Jenna looked like the happiest couple on the dancefloor? Why is Bobby suddenly so withdrawn from the present and focused on the past? Is there something going on now that I don't know? Is it personal or business related?" speaking in a strong, inquisitive manner, her voice then dropped to an embarrassed whisper as she continued, "and lastly, am I acting totally out of line here?" She wasn't sure whether her curiosity was bordering on nosiness and invasion of privacy, or whether she was being a total hypocrite by wanting to know such private details of someone else's life when she disliked when people did the same to her, but she hoped it wasn't, because she was asking out of genuine concern and some genuine frustration. She wanted to help Bobby, but she needed to understand his thoughts a little more before she could.

To be continued…


	496. Prying

**Dallas, Texas**

"Hold on, she and Bobby were going to be married? When was this? And what happened?" interrupting JR as he spoke, Sue Ellen mentally tried to date the details he was telling her. In all the years she had known Bobby she had always had a feeling he'd make a good husband someday, but the fact was he was younger than both she and JR and she hadn't imagined that that day had already had the possibility of occurring in his life. He'd always appeared to enjoy the life he had as a young, handsome and wealthy man at college and then after graduation and it just seemed strange to her to think that if whatever had happened between he and Jenna hadn't happened, his life would have played out very differently to how it was now. As well as that, it was suddenly becoming clearer to her why everyone had seemed so surprised and thrilled when JR had introduced her to them as his girlfriend and then later on, proposed to her and married her. In the circle of Ewing men at the time she had entered his life, JR had apparently been the exception to the norm rather than the norm itself, because while neither Gary nor Bobby's marriages had worked out, they had at least said and done things that had indicated they were interested in a lifelong commitment. It wasn't fair or right that Jock had put so much pressure on JR to find a suitable wife, however, it suddenly made a lot more sense to her than it had in the past.

"Yes, they were, and I was just getting to that darlin'…" letting out an amused chuckle at his wife's curiosity and eagerness, JR paused for a moment to allow her to settle before he continued with his story. "Now, I don't know all the details, because to be honest, I was more interested in what was going on in my own life to really pay too much attention to Bobby's, but I do know that after Lucas Wade died things began to go downhill and then one day Jenna just abruptly upped and left Dallas. As I said, I wasn't that interested in what my little brother was doing, so I can't quite remember the exact times of all of these things, but I do believe it was on or very close to what they had planned to be their wedding date. Naturally, Bobby was heartbroken and confused, they'd had their problems but I do believe the breakup and subsequent disappearing act took everyone by surprise…" Making a quick judgement, he made the decision to skip recounting his attempts over the next couple of months to cheer Bobby up again, because although they were talking about a past where he hadn't even met her yet, he knew his wife and how she reacted to reminders of the past.

"…so she just disappeared? Without telling anybody? Never to be seen or heard from again? That seems… odd", crinkling her forehead in confusion, Sue Ellen sat silently for a moment, waiting for JR to continue to explain, though even when he did, she still didn't completely understand the situation. "Well, yeah, I suppose so… I told you darlin', I wasn't exactly paying attention to the details of Bobby's life at the time, and while I always liked Jenna, it wasn't as if we were friends and she told me what was going on. As far as I understand, she and Bobby were together, happy and engaged one day, and then the next she was gone. I don't know whether Bobby ever looked for or received an explanation for her departure, but if he did, he didn't do much about it…"

"Didn't do much about what? JR, what do you know that you're not telling me, or Bobby? I know you; it's taken me a while but I know when you're omitting something or skirting around the issue. You're not explicitly saying it, it but it certainly feels like you're hiding something, something important, something that would make this whole confusing story fit together", raising her voice a little in exasperation, Sue Ellen stared at her husband and waited for him to either tell her what was going on or deny that he was hiding anything. He was JR Ewing, he loved being the most knowledgeable person in the room and although he wasn't particularly interested in gossip, she got the feeling that he had done at least a little bit of snooping into the situation, it was just who he was.

Staying silent for a moment, JR tossed up whether to tell her what he knew or whether to deny that he was hiding anything. After seeing the way she was looking at him though, the decision was easy; she expected honesty from him, especially when she asked him a direct question, and he didn't really have anything to hide, it wasn't as if Jenna's secret was his secret. "Well darlin', let's just say I did have one of my men look into it. You see, Bobby was a wreck, so it was up to me to do the responsible thing and check that nothing sinister had happened. The last place I'm aware of her being was Italy, the newspapers reported that she married some wealthy Italian, only for that to all end in tears a few months later. Who knows how much of that information was true or not though, those publications love to spin a small detail into an elaborate story…" All too aware that his wife had read a couple of unpleasant things about him in newspapers over the years, JR was a little quiet as he spoke that part of his sentence, though his voice raised back to its normal tone and volume as he continued to speak. "You're right though, there is one thing I know that I was skirting around talking about, partly because I don't know whether it's really my news to tell and partly because I didn't want to involve you in my actions, they weren't exactly legal you know…" Knowing he was still being vague and it was annoying his wife, he then finished explaining what he knew, "Jenna Wade left Dallas in a hurry, breaking an engagement and my brother's heart and possibly taking a huge secret with her… or not, I don't know. I was able to get my hands on a copy of the birth certificate, that was easy, but the corresponding medical records proved to be a lot more difficult to locate, and without them, I cannot make an informed judgement…" Unsure of how much more detail he could explain without incriminating himself and/or bringing back her memories of their situation with Cynthia Moore, he slowly stopped talking and allowed her to take everything in. He knew a lot, but there was still a whole lot more he didn't know and couldn't explain to Sue Ellen. He hadn't thought about Jenna for years and now that he had, he wondered what was next, for everyone involved.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: It's quite difficult to piece together bits and pieces of information to form a timeline because the show was fairly vague and changeable when it came to details regarding Jenna's backstory and Charlie's age. Hopefully everything written in this chapter makes some sense though. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**


	497. Terms and Conditions

**Dallas, Texas**

"Daddy? Julie told me you wanted to see me as soon as I got in?" knocking and entering his father's office, Bobby closed the door behind him and walked toward his father's desk. "I did. Take a seat", following his father's hand motion and verbal instruction, he did as he was told. Observing his father then standing, walking over to the bar and making two drinks, his stomach turned; although it was clear his father wasn't angry with him, he also didn't seem to be in an extremely good mood and with the way things had been lately he wasn't sure what to expect. Staying silent except for the few words he spoke as he accepted the drink offered to him, he mentally gave himself a pep talk, calmed down a little and waited for his father to begin speaking. Nervousness was pointless right now, because really, what was the worst that could happen? He had already resigned from his position at Ewing Oil and he was confident that he was in a sound legal positon when it came to his future at the ranch, so while his father had been considering his response, he had also really just been delaying the inevitable.

Handing his youngest son a drink, Jock took a sip of his own drink, sat down in his large, leather chair and opened his top drawer, pulling out a brown manila folder marked 'Robert "Bobby" James Ewing – Employee Personnel Record'. "I'm sure you know why I asked to see you, so I'll cut to the chase. As the president of Ewing Oil, I am prepared to accept your resignation and as the sole owner of Southfork Ranch I am also prepared to allow you to increase your hours and responsibilities there. With that being said though, I have a couple of requests of my own before I talk to Ray and sort out everything regarding your increased presence at the ranch. Firstly, as per your contract with Ewing Oil, you specified in your letter of resignation that you were giving four weeks' notice; I'd like to request that you remain here for another six weeks so that we have enough time to find and train a suitable replacement. Secondly, since this is happening earlier than expected, I'm still working here at Ewing Oil and I won't be able to dedicate quite as much time to teaching you the financial side of the ranching business as I had planned. Because of that, I don't think you're at the level of understanding needed for running a business like the ranch and since I don't think it's fair on Ray to have to teach you everything as well as run the ranch fulltime, I want you to consider finding a mentor or applying to grad school. It's completely possible that you could learn what you need to without returning to college, you already have a degree and a good understanding of the basics of business, and I certainly succeeded without a formal education, but things are different now. As both an employer and an employee, I have seen the benefits of an education in the work presented to me and the results generated, so I'm supportive of you doing what you have to now if it means you'll have a better chance of understanding how to succeed in the future. If you don't want to do that though, then I'd like you to find a mentor. I don't want you leaking our confidential business information to anyone who could possibly be untrustworthy, so naturally I'd have to run some checks and approve whoever you chose, but as the more practical, hands-on option, I understand if you wish to do this instead of returning to college".

Taking another drink, Jock watched his youngest son intently. He trusted him and he loved him, but as well as being a father, he was a businessman and he knew that he had to do what was smart for the health of his business, which in this case meant not throwing an inexperienced and ill-equipped man in at the deep end and expecting him to just succeed. He needed to assist Bobby to succeed and preferably he'd do it just like he had over the last decade with JR, by working with him and training him himself, but as Bobby had jumped ahead in the plan, he now needed to re-evaluate and redesign his plan of action. Bobby would be a successful, independent man one day, but it wouldn't be an overnight change and it was naïve to expect it to just happen without some kind of guidance.

"I..." beginning to respond but then pausing to reflect, Bobby stayed silent for a little while longer before he finally did speak again. "I'm not going to argue with you and I'll do whatever you think is best, but I do have to ask why? Why is it that JR is set to become the next president of Ewing Oil and is surely capable of making business decisions without going to grad school or having a mentor, but when it comes to my business needs you're unavailable to assist me? Why do you think JR needs you more at Ewing Oil than I do at the ranch? As I said, I'll do whatever you think is best, so if you wish me to choose someone external, then I will, but to be completely honest, that would be my second choice, because if I'm going to learn from a mentor, I'd really like it to be you. If you want me to go to grad school to learn more theory that I'll be able to apply in the future, then I'll gladly do that too; my opinion is still the same though, I'd really like to learn about running a Ewing ranch from another Ewing, you". Explaining his hesitations, Bobby hoped his father understood at least some of his perspective. He liked Ray and he had learnt a lot from him over the past few months and he was sure he would continue to learn a lot from him in the future, however, Ray wasn't a Ewing and despite being the ranch foreman, he wasn't the one in complete control of the business. Jock Ewing was the man he had always looked up to and had always been sure he would one day follow in his footsteps, and technically, he was, because his father did make his presence known at the ranch, however, his plan for a hands-off approach to future training was disappointing and truthfully, a bit hurtful.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that, but understand the position I'm in now too. You may have been planning this for a while so in your head it sounds easy for me to drop what I'm doing at Ewing Oil and instead focus on you and the ranch, but that's not the case. JR is capable of running this company, but he shouldn't have to, not yet. I had a plan in place for my retirement; there were timelines prepared and everything, but all of that has gone out the window with your resignation and request. I haven't had nearly as long as you have to consider the situation and I have responsibilities as the president of Ewing Oil that I need to attend to and cannot just be handed over to JR to deal with, not when he has his own tasks to complete and especially not with the way the oil business is now. The timing of your resignation may have felt right to you, but to everyone else, it's a big disruption and not something that can just be fixed or taken into consideration immediately. I'll train you and work with you eventually, and Ray will continue to work with you as he has been and will eventually diversify what he's been teaching you, but you have to give it time. If you wish to change your timeline then that's fine, I accept that, but you need to remember that you're just a small piece in a large puzzle; you have to fit in around everything else, you're not the whole picture". Taking a drink, Jock hoped his youngest son understood where he was coming from, because if he didn't then they had a problem, and he already had enough problems to deal with without adding another one to his plate.

"Daddy, I…" beginning to respond, Bobby silently cursed the intercom as it began to buzz. Of course his father would get the last word in the conversation for now, he usually did. Listening to the message Julie was relaying, he knew his father's morning was about to get hectic and they wouldn't be able to continue their conversation until later. Luckily though, with JR now living away from Southfork, he didn't have to compete for his father's attention at home, so hopefully they would be able to take some time alone to talk after dinner. He had a few things to say in response to his father's remarks about his expectations, and he wanted to make sure that they figured out a new plan they were both comfortable with before he moved any further.

To be continued…


	498. Different Stages of Life

**Dallas, Texas**

After sorting and folding her last box of donated clothes for the day, Sue Ellen collected her purse, said goodbye to her charity co-workers and then left the building. She felt good, she had done some genuinely helpful and appreciated service work and now it was her turn to treat herself to something special. Driving out toward the highway, she made the snap decision to head a little further afield for her planned shopping trip today, not because the stores in Fort Worth would have a better selection of skiwear to choose from than the stores in downtown Dallas, but because Fort Worth had something Dallas didn't, her favourite lingerie store. Of course, Dallas had stores where she could get what she needed and wanted, but she had come to enjoy shopping for more intimate things in a city where she was less likely to bump into anyone from the DOA. She wasn't ashamed of what she was doing, it was perfectly normal for her and JR to enjoy themselves in an intimate sense, she really just had an attachment to one specific store in Fort Worth because of the role it had played in her past, the role it had played in the fresh start in her marriage. She and JR were in a good place now and she was looking forward to going away with him for a couple of days next week, especially after what felt like a long time since they'd last really spent any proper time alone together just focusing on each other. She wanted to and was determined to find a way to help Bobby, she loved being John Ross' mother, and she was always happy to listen to JR's thoughts and concerns about business and other personal matters, but she was definitely looking forward to leaving Dallas and experiencing a new environment for a little while.

Across town, JR was busy doing what he always did when he was at the office, working. He knew that if he wanted to be the best at what he did, but also be home in time to have dinner with his wife and son and actually spend a decent amount of time with John Ross before he lay down to sleep for the night, then he didn't have time to socialise or slack off. Becoming the president of Ewing Oil was guaranteed to be in his future, so he no longer had to go above and beyond the norm and what was expected of him just to show his father that he was the best man for the job, however that didn't mean he was completely free to relax. Ewing Oil didn't just run itself, it required a lot of attention, maintenance, forward thinking, and organization to maintain its position. After having spent more than a decade there though, applying his academic knowledge and learning through doing, JR was comfortable with his ability to do what needed to be done and to do it well, so despite being busy during his hours at the office, he wasn't overwhelmed by the tasks he was faced with. Hearing his intercom buzzing, he automatically pressed the button, murmured a "yes" and waited for Diane to speak; if she was interrupting him when she knew he was busy, then whatever message she had for him had to be somewhat important. Listening as she spoke, he nodded before responding, "wait a couple of minutes and then show him in".

Ten minutes later, as he flipped through a stack of newspaper articles, photographs, and surprisingly, a passenger manifest, JR shook his head, muttered a few things to himself under his breath and then looked up at the private investigator who had compiled the information for him, "the medical records?" Sue Ellen had somehow convinced him that it would be nice for him to help Bobby to find closure about his past. He knew his wife though, when she said help Bobby find closure, she didn't mean help him to move on with his life so he could remain a happy bachelor, no, she meant she wanted him to use his investigative connections to have another look to see what they could find and then use to their advantage. Sue Ellen wanted to play matchmaker and he had somehow found himself agreeing to it, despite not completely wanting to, feeling that it was the best choice, or knowing whether he would actually be able to access any new information now anyway.

"No, I'm sorry sir. I don't have an explanation for that failure other than that medical records are already difficult to access, but doing so in a foreign country is near impossible without already established connections, connections I don't have. I did a thorough job with everything else and I will bill you for my services, but respectfully, I think this is the last time you and I will do business together regarding Miss Wade, because there's nothing more I can help you with here. I'm an honest man and a smart man, I'm not going to try and deceive you; what's in that report is what any good PI will find, but it's going to take someone higher than me to find the medical information you're looking for". Listening as the private investigator explained his position, JR nodded, thanked him for his honesty and then showed him out of his office. He hadn't really been expecting to see the medical records this time, not after the last time he'd had one of his men look for them, and with the information he had now, it didn't really matter whether he knew Charlotte Wade's blood type or whether she had been born on her due date. It was unfortunate that he had first-hand knowledge of the topic of paternity, but he did, and he knew that a simple blood test would be able to tell Bobby everything he needed or wanted to know if and when the time came to seek those answers. Locking the folder away in his office safe, he decided he would focus on everything he now knew later, because unlike the brother he was about to do a huge favour for, he actually worked for a living and he couldn't afford to spend his afternoon analysing personal documents.

Down the hall, unaware of what was going on in his eldest brother's head, Bobby Ewing paced around his small office. If he was about to get what he wanted from his father, then why wasn't he happy? He understood some of his unhappiness was related to the way his father was controlling the situation and treating him, and some of it was because he was antsy and he just wanted to skip ahead a few years, past the training time and possible return to college, but there was something more. His business life was beginning to turn around and if he was just patient, he would have everything he was asking for and had been promised soon enough, but personally, he felt empty. He didn't lack female companionship, he had a family who loved him, he was wealthy, healthy and relatively free, but for whatever reason, he wasn't satisfied. He wanted more and he knew he wanted more, but irritatingly, he didn't know exactly what that more was. Sighing to himself, he grabbed his coat, opened his office door and walked down the hall. He needed to clear his head a bit and a walk, and maybe a drink, might help him do that.

To be continued…


	499. Uneasiness

**Dallas, Texas**

"Oh my…", standing, Sue Ellen slowly made her way over to the drinks cart, poured two drinks and then turned and returned to her husband, handing him a fresh drink even though he still had a semi-full glass. "That only took you two days?" nodding her head toward the brown folder on the coffee table, she looked at him with a mixture of surprise and concern. She felt sick; she had always known JR was capable of things that seemed impossible to other people, and she wasn't innocent in the situation, she had specifically asked him to use his skills to see if he could find Jenna and see how she was, but now that he had, she wasn't so sure about her plan anymore. Newspaper articles were public records and given the past social status of the Wade family, they didn't seem to be anything too out of the ordinary to Sue Ellen, however, photographs and clearly private information didn't sit well with her. It was contradictory of her to now not be so pleased about JR's actions, because she had asked him to find out what he could and she had done that knowing full well that he didn't pay his men to just do a quick scan of the phonebook. She had received what she had asked for, even after JR had voiced his own concerns about whether it was truly the best thing to do, and now she was regretting it.

Looking at the photographs of a young woman and her daughter and reading the details of their incoming flight from Rome a couple of years ago had suddenly reminded her of a time in her own life where she had been the victim of JR's snooping and a few things had become clearer in her mind. It was one thing to want to check that someone was alive and well, but it was another to stalk them and compile a dossier of personal, private information for the purposes of manipulating a situation. JR had done the same thing to her when she had left him during her pregnancy and his uninvited presence in her life before she was ready to see him again had not been at all pleasant. She had never met Jenna Wade or her daughter, but from what she had heard and what she could see in the pictures, she was a nice lady who had been through plenty of drama and heartbreak and reminding her of her former life now wasn't what was best for her. As well as that, it hadn't seemed real before, but now, after seeing the photographs of the happy, healthy little girl, Sue Ellen knew she had to think very carefully before even considering contacting Jenna or giving Bobby the information relating to her current whereabouts. It wasn't fair to add more disruption to the life of an innocent child, even if the child was possibly fathered by a Ewing man. Jenna had clearly had a reason for leaving Dallas and if Sue Ellen's experience was anything to go by, she had to know that the Ewings would welcome her and her daughter with open arms if she did ever return, but if she was staying away, then she had her reasons and those reasons were to be respected. For all she knew, the little girl in the pictures wasn't even Bobby's daughter; Jenna had married very soon after leaving Dallas and for the vast majority of young married women, the first few months of married life were filled with as much intimacy and romance as possible. It was very possible that young Charlotte Wade was not half Ewing but instead half Marchetta, and if that was the case and Jenna knew it, then the reappearance of Bobby in her life might be more unwelcome than welcome.

"Mhm…" setting down the second drink Sue Ellen had made him and taking a sip of his first drink, JR nodded and studied his wife's facial expression. He knew her, she was awed and scared by the depth of his investigations and the timely manner in which he operated. He was sure she genuinely enjoyed some of his shows of power, she had told him and showed him that more than once, but it was clear to him that she was uncomfortable with this one. "Darlin', finding out information about someone like Jenna Wade is easy, especially for the men on my payroll. That being said, I can just as easily make that information disappear if you don't wish to proceed with the matter. Just say the word". Taking another drink, he watched as her expression shifted again, her confusion regarding his process and other investigative work was evident, but at the same time, she looked as if she were annoyed with him for guessing how she was feeling before she explained herself. "I think you forget, you know me, but I also know you. You're a good person, you want Bobby to be happy and in your head it seemed only logical that that could come from a reunion with Jenna. Unfortunately, what you neglected to remember was the other side of the situation. Trying to manipulate people's lives is messy and can get complicated very quickly. I tried to tell you that playing matchmaker for Bobby might not be the best idea; do you understand why now? It's honourable for you to want him to be happy, but you and I both know his position when it comes to my interference in his life, and we both know what it's like to have someone uninvolved try to insert themselves into a relationship". Taking another drink, he waited for Sue Ellen to say something, anything.

Shaking her head slightly, Sue Ellen wondered how her husband managed to read her expressions so well and how he managed to say things that she hadn't even thought of, but made sense in her life as well as his. "You're right, I want Bobby to be happy, but I don't think this is the way to do it, and I'm sorry I only realised that after you paid for this report. I'll be honest, at the time it sounded like a romantic idea, but now, I feel terrible. I feel dirty seeing these pictures and reading this information; it's private and personal and I would be furious if someone I didn't even know decided to do the same thing to me and John Ross as we've done to Jenna and Charlotte. I value our family's privacy and I hate when other people try to interfere in our relationship, especially my mother or your father. I hope Bobby will one day find happiness in a relationship like we have, and if he wants my help or advice I'll gladly give it to him, but I'm done playing secret matchmaker, even though I've hardly even started". Pausing to take a drink and reflect on her feelings, Sue Ellen then looked directly at her husband and spoke again, "is that the only copy of that information or are there more?" She felt guilty and dirty having invaded Jenna Wade's privacy and she was looking for a quick solution to rid herself of some of her negative feelings, and while burning the documents was probably a little dramatic, their large, crackling fireplace did seem like an inviting option right now.

To be continued…


	500. Acceptance

**Dallas, Texas**

"Deal?" holding his hand out, Bobby Ewing waited nervously for his father to do the same, and when he did, verbally confirming that they had a deal and then reaching out to shake his hand and then pat him on the back in a familiar way that he knew meant he was proud of him, he began to smile. He wasn't quite sure what he wanted in his personal life, but his new agreement with his father meant that in six weeks, he'd finally be on the career path he knew he wanted to follow and he knew he could succeed at. He had had to compromise a little, but in the end, what his father had asked of him did make sense and did satisfy his needs and wants. Provided that he could find a college to accept his late application, he would begin working toward a Master of Agribusiness in the summer and since his father was planning to retire sometime in 1974, by the time he finished his two years of further study combined with his current and future work experience, he'd be set to take over. He hadn't planned to have to jump through so many hoops to get what would eventually be his anyway, however, after being put in his place by his father, he now had a new appreciation for everything he had in life.

Jock Ewing wasn't the most transparent man, he was like JR, he played a long game and he didn't keep everyone up-to-date on the progress of his plans, that didn't mean they didn't exist though. He liked to control things and have things happen on his schedule, not anyone else's, and while that was frustrating for Bobby at times like these where all he wanted to do was get on with the future, he understood why the planned timelines existed and he was content to adapt his own life plans to meet his father halfway. If he wanted his father to personally spend time out on the ranch mentoring him then he would have to wait until he was free to do so. The ranch was important to Jock, as was their father-son bond, however, financially, Ewing Oil was the company that allowed them to continue living in the way they had become accustomed to. Ranching was profitable, it wasn't just a pet project meant to satisfy Aaron Southworth's historic wishes, but oil was big business and Bobby had to respect that, and he did. It felt good to finally have a solid plan for his future, a future where he would eventually be the most powerful person in an organization rather than an employee and 'little brother'. JR didn't care about ranching and while he knew his father wasn't thrilled about that fact, he was, because he was ready to no longer have to worry about what JR was thinking, doing or had planned to stifle his success. A bit of competition was a good thing, but too much competition was exhausting and not fun, especially when he didn't have a chance at winning, which was sadly the case at Ewing Oil as long as JR was there. He was sure there'd always be a bit of competition between he and JR, they were competitive by nature and now each set to own a family business they would have something to compare, however, unlike before when they were both competing for Ewing Oil, he felt confident that their competitiveness would be more good-natured sibling rivalry than anything else.

"Good, well now that that's settled, buy you a drink?" asking more rhetorically than anything else, Jock automatically began to walk over to the bar in his office. He hadn't been thrilled by his youngest son's decision to be difficult and demanding and he was a little disappointed that he even felt the way about Ewing Oil that he did, however, he could see that Bobby genuinely meant what he said about the ranch and that was truly appreciated, and in the end, it did all make sense. He'd had to rearrange his schedule and come up with some alternative ways to teach Bobby how to run a successful business as well as farm animals and ensure the land they owned and relied on was sustainable, but in the end he'd managed to do that and he was sure the future would be positive. Bobby wasn't stupid and he wasn't afraid of hard work, oil just wasn't his calling like it was for JR, but he had a feeling that ranching just might be.

Setting two glasses down on the bar, Jock hesitated for a moment before setting a third glass down next to the previous two and then walking back over to his desk to phone through to JR's office. JR was the vice president of Ewing Oil and probably should have been consulted about a major change like a Ewing resignation, however, at the time of Bobby's request it hadn't even occurred to him to ask JR for his input, he was so used to making executive decisions himself. As it was now though, he was sure that while JR wouldn't be happy about being left out of the discussion, he would be thrilled about what the outcome of the discussion actually meant. In six short weeks, the only Ewings working at Ewing Oil would be named John Ross Ewing, it was what JR had always wanted and it was happening sooner than he had imagined. Logistically though, things were about to get a bit more complicated because they'd have to have a serious discussion about how to accomplish Bobby's role at Ewing Oil without disrupting their own schedules and in JR's case, without ruining his marriage. No way in hell was he sending JR back out on the road to use the three B's to promote Ewing Oil, create valuable connections and collect incrimination information on those men who may think of acting in a difficult manner in the future. JR was a married man, he was a father, and he had already nearly lost his family once; to put him in a role where he regularly dealt with paid women, excessive alcohol consumption and multi-day, out-of-town business trips was a recipe for disaster and Jock knew it. He was plotting and planning and so far there really only seemed to be one answer; they would have to hire someone new, but he had a feeling it wasn't going to be quite that simple. Overall though, the future seemed to be looking more positive now than it had been just a few days ago. JR would continue on the path he was on, Bobby would begin working toward his new life, and somewhere in the middle of the two, Jock would oversee everything to make sure that the legacy of the Ewing family did not stop with his sons.

To be continued…


	501. Thoughts and Attitudes

**Dallas, Texas**

"_Wear something nice, we're celebrating"_, allowing JR's vague, but enthusiastic, phone call to guide her, Sue Ellen selected an elegant, dark blue, silk dress from her closet and paid extra attention to her hair, makeup and accessories before heading down the hall to John Ross' room to analyse the contents of his closet. JR's phone call had been short, but his tone of voice and message were clear, something exciting was happening and the entire family was getting together for dinner at the Oil Baron's Club. Personally, she wasn't sure John Ross was ready to attend dinners at restaurants like the Oil Baron's Club, he usually did fine at more casual, family friendly restaurants, but the Oil Baron's Club didn't really have the same atmosphere, however, JR had insisted that it was a complete family event to celebrate something important, so she would at least try.

Down the road at Southfork, Lucy Ewing stood in her bedroom, staring absentmindedly at her closet. She had plenty of pretty dresses to choose from, that wasn't an issue, however, she was thoroughly confused about why she was choosing a dress at all. Her grandmother had been incredibly vague about the occasion they were celebrating even though it was clear she had an answer, so while she was pleased to dress up and go out to dinner, she was also a little annoyed; from her perspective, it always seemed like she was never important enough to be kept in the loop. She wasn't going to whine though, firstly because no one ever reacted positively to her whining, and secondly, because as Doctor Lacey was always telling her, sometimes it paid to be patient, with herself and with other people. Her grandmother had specifically said there would be some sort of announcement at dinner and had also made it clear that whatever that announcement was wasn't her news to tell, so although she was slightly bitter about being left out, it wasn't intended in a nasty way and soon enough she would be on the same page as everyone else.

A few miles away, driving down the long, straight road that lead from Braddock to his home, JR Ewing couldn't stop grinning. He had already been pleased with his life, but Bobby's announcement earlier was icing on the cake. In just six short weeks, he and his father would be the only Ewings at Ewing Oil; in a year or two, Ewing Oil would be 51% his; and in the hopefully very distant future, it would be entirely his, until of course, his own son began following in his footsteps and the cycle continued. In six short weeks, Bobby would be off doing what he was suited to doing and he would have one less thing to think about when he was at the office. He couldn't say he had been thrilled that his father had excluded him from what appeared to be more than one discussion regarding his little brother's future, because they were supposed to be a team, however, his annoyance was tempered by his elation at the news that he wouldn't have to share the company much longer. He'd have to talk to his father about keeping him informed about everything, not just the things he was assigned to control, and he would have to have another look at his methods of finding out things that weren't his business but he made it his business to know, but for now, he would play nice and act graciously. It wasn't hard to act as if he were pleased by the news even though he wasn't thrilled about the lack of consultation; he genuinely was thrilled and he was excited to share his excitement with his family.

In a car not far behind JR's, Bobby was another Ewing who couldn't stop grinning to himself; the reasons for his happiness were a little different to his eldest brother's though. Not only was he happy and relieved that his father and brother had taken the news of his departure from the main family business so well, he also felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and for the first time in months he could breathe again. Six weeks wasn't a short period, but it certainly wasn't a long one either and just knowing that there was a date set for his departure and new beginning was exciting and joyful. Instead of now thinking about what his future could be like if he did what he wanted to, he was about to actually experience what it was like. No longer would he have JR breathing down his neck when it came to anything and everything he did at the office; no longer would he have to compete for a prize he'd never had a chance of winning; and no longer did he have to put up with feeling like an idiot for not completely understanding the oil business. He would miss the social interaction he had come to enjoy during the good economic times, and he would miss the proud tone his father would use when describing having two sons following in his footsteps, however, he was looking forward to forging his own path while also maintaining his links to the Ewing legacy. He was also looking forward to being part of a team, the adrenalin rush that came with physical accomplishment, and oddly enough, he was looking forward to returning to college. He wasn't stupid, he knew grad school was a different experience to the traditional four years of undergrad study, but still, even knowing it would be different, in workload, atmosphere and student age, he was excited to be revisiting a time in his life where he'd been the happiest.

Down the street, hearing the crunching of gravel as her husband's car drove down their long, tree lined driveway, Sue Ellen smiled to herself, excitedly announced to John Ross that daddy was home, and then carried him down the stairs to greet JR. She still didn't have a clue what they were celebrating, but quickly analysing JR's facial expression as he opened the door, and then experiencing his passionate kiss and seeing the bottle of champagne in his hand, she didn't care, because it made JR happy and that made her happy.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: I never thought I'd write 500 chapters but somehow I did. Thank you for all of your kind words in your reviews and private messages, and to everyone who continues to read, thank you :)**


	502. Family Announcement

**Dallas, Texas**

"Oh that's wonderful, congratulations", squeezing JR's hand, but directing her words at Bobby, Sue Ellen smiled genuinely and listened intently as the rest of the family began to speak. It all made sense now, no wonder JR had been excited, he was now one step closer to getting his wish and what he was entitled to. Jock had always promised him that Ewing Oil would be his one day, but until recently he hadn't done a whole lot to actually make that promise a guarantee and there hadn't been any huge changes at the office to indicate what the future held. Now though, JR would no longer have to deal with Jock's unfair attitude toward his and Bobby's roles at Ewing Oil and in a year or two when Jock retired, he wouldn't have to worry about having a conversation with his little brother regarding it being time for him to move on and begin ranching fulltime. On the other side, from what she could tell, Bobby's news was what was best for everyone; Bobby himself looked happier than he had in months, Jock seemed excited and proud to have two sons set to continue the two Ewing businesses, Miss Ellie looked relieved that everyone was taking the news well, and even Lucy appeared to be excited.

"Your granddaddy would be proud", smiling and relaxing as she watched her youngest son from across the table, Miss Ellie's thoughts moved through the past and into the future. Her father, Aaron Southworth, had been a man of the land and she knew he would be very proud to know that one of his grandsons was willingly and lovingly committing his life to maintaining the land and everything it provided their family and greater society with. Bobby's attitude toward ranching was more pure than Jock's, even she could admit that; her husband enjoyed ranching, he enjoyed the outdoors, the physical work and the income they could generate from raising animals, however, he also viewed land as potentially oil rich first, and worth cultivating, ranching or building on second. If Jock had had his way, section 40 of Southfork would have been turned into another one of Ewing Oil's fields years ago. Luckily, they had never needed the money so desperately that they had had to resort to that, and Jock loved her enough to respect her and her father's wishes to maintain Southfork's environment for generations to come. She hoped that with Bobby around at the ranch in the future, she would never have to worry about losing precious, beautiful Southworth land to the temptation of making a quick dollar from the other natural resources the land contained. Bobby liked money, but he wasn't driven by money the same way Jock and JR were, so she hoped that while he was motivated to keep building the ranch business, he wouldn't become so consumed with being the biggest, best, and wealthiest that he forgot what was really important. "Thank you mama; that really means a lot", receiving a shy, boyish smile from Bobby in response to her compliment, her positive feelings about the future grew. Just like any good family man, Bobby liked it when he felt like he was really doing something worthy of praise from his elders, and she sensed that after struggling to find his place at Ewing Oil, he was finally happy with what he had chosen to pursue and was grateful to have the support of his family.

"You know son, your granddaddy isn't the only one who's proud of you, or would be proud of you if he were here with us today. I'm proud of you too. It took a lot of guts to decide to step out on your own and it takes a real man to know when to admit that things aren't working without just giving up and deciding life is too hard. We're Ewings and Ewings do, we don't just say we're going to do and we don't just try; we all have our talents and I'm proud of you for making the decision to work on developing yours. Just you wait, by the time you have your own sons and little John Ross is all grown up, the Ewing family businesses are going to be twice, if not triple the size they are now, and you will be able to look at your sons and tell them honestly that you built that legacy. That's pride, being able to say it, mean it, and have it all be true. Isn't that right JR? Having a son changes everything". Watching JR intently as his father gave a speech that started off praising Bobby for simply making a decision, Sue Ellen was surprised, but relieved when it took a turn and Jock managed to remember that he didn't just have one son and he had enough pride to share around. She wasn't thrilled that Jock managed to make everything he said revolve around Ewing men when there were also women in the family, and she wasn't exactly pleased to hear that despite trying to make it clear a long time ago, Jock didn't seem to understand that John Ross wasn't going to be forced into following any one path. As long as JR didn't seem to be upset by his father's lack of impassioned speeches toward his efforts though, she would wait until a later, less public moment to inform his father of her feelings. She couldn't stay quiet forever, she knew that, but they were at the Oil Baron's Club celebrating Bobby's achievement tonight and it was not the time nor the place to air her grievances, especially if no one else seemed to have noticed that Jock's proud speech wasn't entirely unifying.

A couple of hours later, after a surprisingly pleasant family dinner out, as Sue Ellen readied herself for bed, an unexpected thought popped into her mind, and walking out of the bathroom and into the bedroom so she could see JR's facial expression, she asked what no one else had. "JR? Who is going to do Bobby's job after he leaves?" She trusted her husband, she really did, but there was trust and then there was stupidity; Bobby's job wasn't just promotional in the sense that he handed out season tickets to ballgames or gave good speeches about what Ewing Oil actually did. She would have to be completely stupid to want JR to take responsibility for the tasks Bobby currently did and he had done in the past, and JR would have to be very naïve not to realise that that lifestyle didn't suit his current life position. He didn't have time in his work schedule to be leaving the office for out-of-town trips multiple times a month, and he wasn't a young, single man anymore, he had his own family now and they needed and wanted him in Dallas. Watching him as she asked the question, she hoped that the surprised look on his face meant more that he was surprised that she was interested rather than surprised at why she was interested; she didn't want to have to explain to him why she didn't think it was a good idea, she wanted him to understand that himself already.

To be continued…


	503. Further Reassurances

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR? Who is going to do Bobby's job after he leaves?" seeing Sue Ellen appear in the doorway between their bedroom and bathroom, JR briefly stopped what he was doing as he comprehended her question. Truthfully, he hadn't actually considered that part of Bobby's decision, he'd been so ecstatic to be getting his way sooner than he had planned that he'd actually skipped over the smaller details. As well as that, it didn't really surprise him that he'd skipped the stage of stressing about replacing a very qualified, experienced and valuable employee and even now after having been asked very directly, he still wasn't particularly concerned. He'd had a hand in creating Bobby's role and at the time his motivations had been fairly selfish; Bobby did the fun out-of-town networking work, he did the annoying, obligatory PR work, and he occasionally did a little work that ensured Ewing Oil had a number of people they could count on when times were tough. Many of Bobby's tasks were necessary and somebody would need to take responsibility for them, but at the end of the day, despite his name being Ewing, he wasn't as vital to the company's running as some of their other employees and JR knew it, in fact, he'd made sure of it.

"Well darlin', to be honest, daddy and I haven't actually sat down to discuss the details, as you could probably tell from my mood earlier, I was more excited about the long-term repercussions rather than the short-term scheduling changes. With that being said though, just thinking about it now, I imagine that when we do discuss it, it won't be too difficult to reassign Bobby's tasks. He's not a major player at the office, he was surplus to demand when he joined the company and we'll survive perfectly fine without him when he leaves; I think the fact that he's only been working part-time for the past few months anyway is testament to that". He didn't really see why Sue Ellen needed to concern herself with what went on at the office, but it was best to explain it to her when she asked, because he wasn't hiding anything and to avoid answering her questions only made him look like he was, at least from her perspective. Unfortunately, he soon realised that although he had answered her question, he hadn't actually told her what she really wanted to know.

"I'm sorry, I guess I should have been clearer. What I was really asking was who is going to be Ewing Oil's new roadman? And I suppose that what I meant to infer with that question was my uncomfortableness with the idea of you absorbing the tasks that Bobby performed in his role and that before he joined the company, the tasks that you performed; things like travelling, partying, late nights… women…" Looking at him with her large, brown eyes, it was obvious to JR that she was somewhat embarrassed by what she was asking him; they were supposed to be past the point of doubting whether he was capable of being faithful, but there were still times where her insecurity decided to make an appearance again.

"It's not that I don't trust you, I do, and if you absolutely have to, then I'll support you, because I understand that Ewing Oil provides ongoing financial support for our family and you have a very sentimental attachment to it, but before I just support your decision, I want you to be aware of my feelings. I've absolutely loved the way our marriage has been this past year and I don't care if it sounds selfish, I'm going to say it anyway, part of the reason why I've had so many good memories recently is because you're home more often. I like that you don't work crazy hours, despite being exceptionally busy; I like that you're home for dinner and breakfast; I love that you make an effort to take time away from your busy schedule to specifically spend time with me and John Ross, and I love that you and John Ross clearly have a father-son bond. Now that I've experienced what it's like to have you, all of you, I don't want to go back. It's not even really the temptation of everything away from home that I'm worried about, it's more the way you leaving is going to make me feel. I love you; I love the man you are now, and I much prefer the way things are in our day-to-day lives now than how they were in the past. I don't want things to change and while I'm incredibly happy for you that you're one step closer to having everything you ever wanted at Ewing Oil, I am also afraid that with Bobby's resignation comes the return of some of the things I was glad to be rid of. I'm sorry, I know that probably sounds incredibly selfish. I'm allowed to feel however I want, I know that, but I'm not oblivious, I know my feelings aren't always the same as everyone else's and I know you may not agree with me. I thought I should say something though, you know Doctor Williams will be displeased if I don't".

Listening to his wife as she continued to speak and the ended her explanation with a light-hearted comment, JR couldn't help but smile. Sue Ellen had always been emotionally affected by things, but it was a fairly recent development in her life that she could and would actually express her emotions, and that was all thanks to Doctor Williams. On a more serious note though, she had just told him some very important things and he needed to respond in an appropriate manner, because he had no desire to lose her, especially over something like this. "Darlin', listen to me; I love you and I love our life now too and I don't intend on messing up again. I truly had not thought any further ahead than what I just explained to you, but apparently you have, and since you have, I'll make you a promise right now. I will do what needs to be done, I am the vice president of Ewing Oil and I have responsibilities, but wherever possible, I will try to respect your wishes and keep things as they have been recently. Realistically, I can't go back to travelling frequently, I know that, I have a life here in Dallas with you and John Ross and my workload at the office is already busy enough anyway, so I don't think I will have time to do everything, not anymore. Daddy and I will need to have a conversation about how things will work, but I'm sure I can make them work, somehow. As for the women involved in the social part of Bobby's job, I really don't think I need to explain it again, but I will; I am not going to be unfaithful to you ever again, I understand how wrong my actions were in the past and I'm sorry, I really am. I need you to let your insecurity go though, it's not beneficial to our marriage, you know that, and since we're talking about Doctor Williams, he has said that too. We've moved on in our marriage and sometimes we need to remind ourselves of that. I made a commitment, I'm going to be a good husband and a good father, but please, give me a little time to actually do that before upsetting yourself over thoughts of it not happening. I love you and we're going to make this work". As sick of their repetitive conversations as he was, he understood why she sometimes felt insecure, but if he could stop her from taking her thoughts too far, then he would, because her insecurity was based on past truths, but the current and future truth was very different. From past experience though, he had a feeling that despite his reassurance, their conversation was not over yet.

To be continued…


	504. Sanguine

**Dallas, Texas**

"I'm sorry… I know I get caught up in my own thoughts and insecurities too much sometimes…" walking closer to JR, Sue Ellen stopped in front of him before wrapping her arms around him and whispering the rest of her apology. "I trust you, I truly do, and I want to be able to support you completely, I just need you to understand that I also have opinions on where I would like us to be in the future". Pulling back to look him in the eye, she then finished what she wanted to say, "I understand what you're saying though, I do need to give you time and space to do things before I react in an unnecessarily dramatic way. You and your daddy have six weeks until Bobby leaves, and you are both very capable businessmen so that should be plenty of time to figure out a plan. It's premature for me to assume the worst right now and I'm sorry that I did". Not really sure what else to say, because she was beginning to realise that she had overreacted a little and JR's words had reassured her that they were on the same page when it came to him travelling for business, she simply hugged him again before changing the subject, "I was very proud of John Ross tonight. I was a bit concerned when you called earlier to say you wanted him there for family dinner at the Oil Baron's Club, because he's still so young and he doesn't understand why he's free to make loud noises in some places but not others; however I think he did very well". In all honesty, John Ross had been well behaved but he hadn't done anything remarkable, Sue Ellen knew that, she was just a proud, happy mother and she liked to share her happiness with people who cared.

"Darlin', you don't need to apologise for having opinions, all I want from you is to pause for a second before you upset yourself with your opinions. Your happiness is just as important as mine and I think we're finally in a position to both be happy with the same things", looking Sue Ellen in the eye as he responded to her earlier comments, he then leaned down and kissed her, slowly and passionately. Sue Ellen could be an insecure mess sometimes, but she meant well and he loved her, and after everything they had been through, he needed her to know that. Pulling away from their kiss, he finished speaking, "I love you Sue Ellen, I love the life we've built together, and I agree about John Ross, I think everything went very well tonight, I didn't doubt it would though, he's been to restaurants before and he's more than entertained by Ewing family gatherings. I suspect all of the excitement tonight tired him out too, so maybe he'll sleep late…" As it was Friday evening, he was looking forward to the upcoming weekend, he and Sue Ellen always made an effort to do something with John Ross as a family, but before their family day began tomorrow, he was looking forward to celebrating the changes at Ewing Oil with his wife. Before any of that though, he needed Sue Ellen to relax, let go of her anxieties, and allow herself to live in the moment instead of stressing out about what she imagined the future held.

"Mm, maybe he will…" hearing the change in JR's tone of voice, his earlier words of support and reaffirmation of love, and feeling the depth of his feelings for her in the way he kissed her, Sue Ellen's mood improved very quickly. She was lucky, she had everything she had ever wanted in her life, sometimes she needed just needed a reminder to calm down and consider everything in context, because when she did, she quickly realised just how far she had come and how little she actually, truly, had to worry about in life. "You know, with all the excitement tonight, I think it's time for me to go to bed too…" leaning up to give him a soft, lingering kiss, she then turned, walked past him and grinned as she looked over her shoulder, "join me?" She knew he probably found her incredibly difficult to understand at times, but he loved her, she loved him, and as he had said earlier, together, they could and would work through complications in their lives. In regard to their issue earlier, she now felt much more calm and confident; JR was a smart businessman and a dedicated family man, he knew what needed to be done and when it needed to be done by and it wasn't worth her time or energy worrying about it. Instead, her time and energy were better spent focusing on her family, herself, her charitable commitments, and her social activities; she had the luxury of not having to worry about money or domestic tasks and she was allowed to enjoy that and other luxuries in her life.

A few miles away, at the Longhorn Bar in Braddock, Bobby Ewing grinned to himself as he walked from the bar to his table. He was happy, satisfied, and optimistic, not just about where the rest of his evening was heading, but about the bigger picture too, where his life was heading. He had a job he wanted, his family were happy and supportive of him, and with all of the changes set to happen, he was sure to meet a few new women, maybe even one that made him as happy as Sue Ellen made JR, or his mama made his daddy. He wasn't ready to get married just yet, he'd already tried that once and it had ended disastrously and had honestly emotionally scarred him a little; he wasn't a man without needs or wants though and while he was fairly good at satisfying his physical needs and wants, emotionally, he still hadn't achieved what he one day hoped to. As it was at present though, he was young, single, attractive, wealthy, and ready to have a good time; whether a good time meant something serious and permanent or simply something quick and casual depended on how he felt about the woman he was with. He was open-minded and he had a feeling that the recent changes in his life, whatever happened now was leading toward something bigger, better and happier for him.

To be continued…


	505. Family Day

**Dallas, Texas**

Catching a glimpse of the clock as she rolled back over to her side of the bed, Sue Ellen gasped as she realised the time; she couldn't hear her son's distress, but if it was as late as the clock said it was, there was no way he was sitting in his crib happily babbling to himself. "JR, we have to get up", sitting bolt upright, she threw her legs over the side of the bed, reached for her discarded nightgown and robe and quickly dressed herself. "JR! Why aren't you moving? Have you seen the time? It might be Sunday, but John Ross doesn't understand that we don't have to get out of bed early. I'm going to go and check that he's ok, and if he's not, do not even try and talk me out of being annoyed at you for A. not seeming to care, and B. looking at me the way you are right now. Don't you care that our son might have been lonely and crying while we were occupied by our own activities this morning?" shaking her head and glaring at him, she then turned and walked toward the door, though she turned as she heard him calling her name.

Picking up his watch to confirm the time and date, JR laughed to himself as his wife's mood changed from worried to agitated to completely annoyed. "Sue Ellen!" calling out to her as she reached out to open their bedroom door, he grinned, waved his hand, motioning her to retreat, and then explained his amusement. "It's only Saturday. Come back to bed, John Ross should be just fine with Mrs Smith for another half hour before breakfast", they didn't really need a baby nurse, John Ross slept through the night now and between his mother and Sue Ellen, he didn't lack capable, loving women in his life, however, it was a nice luxury to have. On mornings like these, where they liked to have a little bit of a rest, and maybe a bit of fun too, before they had breakfast together, it was nice to remember that they did have a baby nurse and that meant they had the privilege of not having to get up and do everything themselves. Sundays were days where everything in their home was completely 'ordinary', Mrs Smith and Francisca didn't work at all on Sundays which meant he and Sue Ellen did things themselves that they didn't usually do, though it wasn't a chore, it was a novelty. He understood Sue Ellen's worry if in her mind it was Sunday though, because on Sundays they were the first people John Ross saw in the morning and from previous experience, if he was left for too long in his nursery after he awoke in the morning, his enthusiasm and contentment when it came to individual play quickly declined. Today was Saturday though, so while Sue Ellen's concerns were completely valid if it had been Sunday, at present she didn't actually have anything to worry about, or anything to be upset with him about.

"Saturday? Are you sure?" feeling simultaneously relieved and stupid, Sue Ellen turned slowly and cautiously made her way back over to the bed, taking her husband's watch out of his hands as she reached him. "Saturday. Hm." JR was right, it was Saturday, not Sunday; the reason why she hadn't heard John Ross' distress was because he wasn't distressed; and the reason why JR hadn't seemed concerned when she had been, and why he had taken his time with their activities this morning was because he'd known all along there was no time constraint. Tomorrow would be different, tomorrow morning they would wake up, she or JR would go and collect John Ross and if it was still early, bring him back to their bed to snuggle and relax for a little while before getting up. When they got out of bed, she would shower and get ready while JR changed and dressed John Ross, then they would swap and while JR showered and dressed, she would take John Ross downstairs, put him in his highchair or on the floor in the breakfast area with some of his toys while she made breakfast. They had a routine, she knew it, JR knew it, and by now, John Ross probably knew it too.

"Yes darlin', Saturday. Now, you have two options. One, you can go and get John Ross if you wish, you know I love our little boy and you know I care about his feelings, so I imagine, or at least I hope you now realise how unkind your comments were earlier…" Pausing for a moment to allow her to think about what she had said and how she had said it, but to also increase his chance of getting what he actually wanted, because he was hurt, but not to a point where an apology wouldn't suffice, he then continued speaking. "Or, two, you can come here and show me how sorry you are", patting the sheet covering his lap, he grinned as he spoke and laughed when she gently smacked him after she realised that he was acting more dramatic and hurt than he actually was. "JR", whining his name as she began to respond, his grin increased when she inched closer to him and gently kissed his lips, "I'm sorry. I know you love our son. I was worried though, and I will react exactly the same way if this happens again, on a Sunday of course. As it's only Saturday though, I am sorry". Waiting a moment before saying anything in response, JR pulled her from her position kneeling next to him, onto his lap, looked her in the eye and whispered "you're forgiven" to her before returning her kiss. They had already done his favourite activity this morning and by the time he was physically ready again, they wouldn't have much time left before they really did have to get up and ready, but that didn't matter to him, he was content to enjoy whatever time he had left alone with his wife this morning.

A couple of hours later, with their earlier misunderstanding all but forgotten, Sue Ellen smiled to herself as she pushed John Ross back and forth on a swing at the park. As with many things, he would probably enjoy the park more when he was completely able to run around and explore, but for now he was happy enough and she was in no hurry to rush him growing up. She was very happy to be in a place in her life where she could focus on giving him a lot and receiving a lot in return. Her smile grew as she spotted JR out of the corner of her eye, shaking the slide to make sure everything was secure. He was a wonderful father, he was loving, doting, playful, protective and responsible and that made him even more attractive to her as a man, especially as the man she had chosen to be her husband and the father of her child. Being an adult was difficult at times and being a parent was even harder sometimes, but it was also wonderful and she knew in her heart that there was nothing she would rather be doing with her life than exactly what she was doing now.

Watching his wife and son from across the playground, JR smiled equally as widely. He loved the oil business, but it was almost a bit of a shame that it required so much time and attention, because every time he spent time with Sue Ellen and John Ross, he was left wanting more and wishing he had more to give. There was no point in dwelling on the negatives in life when he had so many positives though, life was short and it was worth it to value every minute of positive experience he had. He was lucky, he had a fantastic job and nearly owned a very profitable business and that meant he could financially support his wife and son in exactly the way he wanted to, and being the vice president, it also gave him some power to select when and where he wanted to use his vacation days. His weekends were precious to him too, during his younger years the weekends had always been his time to relax, but not in the way he did now, and now that he had begun to experience a different kind of relaxation, a simpler, more pure kind, he was happy to be older and more settled. Sue Ellen was a very versatile woman, so he never lacked the kind of attention and activities he had enjoyed when he was younger, but at the same time, she wasn't one of his disposable women, she was so much more than that, she was his wife, his lover and his best friend and he was very glad. John Ross was the other light of his life, he had always understood his father's pride and enjoyment of being a father to sons, but it wasn't until Sue Ellen had actually become pregnant and John Ross had been born that he truly understood the kind of value and substance being a father added to his life. John Ross was a wonderful little boy and anyone would fall in love with him, but what made him even more special to him was that he was literally the product of he and Sue Ellen's love; he had been conceived during the time after Sue Ellen's accident where they had really reconnected and recommitted their love for each other.

Being a father was a challenge, he'd had to learn how to do a lot of things he'd truly had no idea about, but he'd done it, from catering to John Ross' physical needs to fostering his emotional needs and developing an understanding of who his son was, and he loved it. It was a joy to play with his son and see the genuine surprise and happiness in his expressions and reactions to new things, and it was an absolutely wonderful feeling to see the amount of love and want his son had for him when he returned home from work at the end of the day. What made everything even more appealing was the way becoming parents had strengthened his and Sue Ellen's marriage; he truly loved seeing his son growing, but he also truly loved seeing his wife growing and changing as she too reaped the rewards of showing love to their son. Additionally, while he couldn't attribute the change in their sex life to parenthood, because things had begun changing before she had given birth, he was thrilled by the diversity and continued amount of energetic interest she had in intimate activities. All in all, he was happy and satisfied with his life and he was proud of himself for making the effort to listen to the criticism and advice his parents, his wife, Doctor Williams, and a couple of other people had had for him. He was a changed man and instead of being bitter about the changes in his life, he was happy, because he had more now than he had ever had before, and he was so very pleased about that.

Making his way over to the swing set, he stopped behind his wife, put his hands on her shoulders and leaned down to give her a soft kiss on the cheek. "Is the slide all up to code?" letting out a small laugh as Sue Ellen spoke, breaking the comfortable silence they had fallen into, he shook his head and grinned; he hadn't realised she had been watching him, but apparently she had, and that made him happy. "It is. I don't like paying taxes, but Braddock County can rest assured they'll get their money from the Ewings next time they send us a bill; I'm satisfied with their Parks &amp; Recreation Department, for now…" Laughing as he spoke, he knew Sue Ellen knew he was joking, but only just, and he was pleased that she 'got' him; it relaxed him to know that she accepted him and his unwillingness to settle for less than he was entitled to and deserved. "Good", stepping back to allow the swing John Ross was in to slow down naturally, she then bent down, unclipped the lap belt and lifted him up and out, speaking to him as she did so in an effort to stop him from screaming or grumbling at the perceived loss of fun. Watching in amazement as his wife did just that and his son happily clung on to him as they walked over to the slide, JR's grin widened; he was definitely a happy man and his wife and son were a huge part of why that was.

To be continued…


	506. Now Hiring

**Dallas, Texas**

"Daddy, I think the answer is obvious… we need to hire another man, even if just for a contracted term of say nine to twelve months. You and I are both extremely busy with work at the office, and as I've explained and you've made clear that you feel the same way, leaving town to promote Ewing Oil no longer fits my lifestyle, or yours. At this time in Bobby's life, the role he had here was the perfect fit, but he's made the decision not to do that anymore and we need to accept that and come up with an answer for what happens to his commitments in six weeks when he's no longer an employee. I'm of the same mind as you when it comes to hiring a new man, quite frankly I'm not looking forward to the process. It's a difficult role to define for a non-Ewing and it's going to take a lot of interviewing and probably a fair amount of training and trust on our part to find someone we can genuinely rely on to do what needs to be done and what is best for Ewing Oil".

"I don't have a lot of time this week, I'm leaving Dallas with Sue Ellen on Wednesday night and we'll be back on Sunday evening, everything is booked and I have absolutely no intention of rescheduling those plans. Because of my short week this week and the time constraint related to how much longer we have Bobby for, I propose that we agree on what to do now, make plans to either meet with an agency or whoever the appropriate person is tomorrow, and I want to have a final decision on how to move forward by Wednesday. I say that as the vice president and the future president of Ewing Oil, this isn't a decision you can make on your own as the current president, it has to be something we discuss and agree on and I want that discussion to occur now. I propose we hire another man, someone who knows PR and marketing, but isn't a suit, he's not needed here in the office to make promotional posters and television advertisements, he's needed out there, on the road, to make sure everyone knows who Ewing Oil is and why they should work with us, or side with us, when opportunities arise. Do you agree with me or do you have another idea? We need to do something, Bobby is leaving, but his role isn't disappearing, and as we've already discussed, it no longer suits you or I to perform the majority of that role, so trying to shuffle our own responsibilities isn't going to work". Heading over to the bar to pour himself another drink, JR considered the situation; he was ecstatic that Bobby was finally leaving, but surprisingly, he was also a little annoyed his youngest brother had chosen to leave so soon; six weeks was a decent notice period, but it might not be long enough to do what needed to be done.

Joining JR at the bar in the corner of his office, Jock too poured himself another drink as he considered the situation they were in. JR made a lot of sense, they did need to do something and they did need to move quickly, because in six short weeks, they would be without their roadman, but the meetings and potential connections Ewing Oil had scheduled and noted for investigation wouldn't just cease to exist. Life went on, with or without Bobby. They had survived without him for decades before he joined the company, but things were different now than they had been in decades past. He personally was older and trying to transition away from controlling everything, and JR was a married father with a real chance of making marriage work long-term, not to mention he was almost the president of the company, he was very busy, he really didn't have time to be leaving town for days and sometimes even weeks at a time. They needed someone young, someone capable, and someone loyal who they truly trusted to spread Ewing goodwill the way they intended it to be spread; they really needed another Ewing, unfortunately though, they didn't have another Ewing to enlist. Gary was useless when he was in Dallas, but away from Dallas he was even less useful; Lucy was a girl and a young girl at that; and John Ross was the same, he was less than a year old, his time to shine would come, but it wouldn't be for years yet. There were always other Ewings, if he remembered correctly, his brother Jason had a couple of kids somewhere, but they weren't close and with the way everything had occurred in the past, there was no way in hell he was going to go looking for his nephew in order to bring him back into the company Jason had willingly left. He and JR would come up with a plan on their own and they would be successful on their own, they were two smart men, they were more than capable of that.

"JR, I agree, to a point. We need another man, but no agencies, not yet. I propose that we look within the company and promote someone, that way there's no need for us to train from the very bottom, explaining who we are, what we do, and why we're the best. Why don't I give Bernard a call, you know, head of HR; I hate to say it, but he probably knows some of Ewing Oil's employees more than you or I do, he deals with all of the little things and other heads of department, you and I only see the big changes and receive reports of the smaller ones. If he doesn't know of anyone suitable within the company already, then we'll open the role to outside applicants. I'd rather not go through the bother of having to hire, train and learn to trust someone completely new if we can find someone who is perfect for the job who already has some of the necessary knowledge. How does that sound? Good? Take a seat; I'll call down to Bernard now".

Nodding his head in agreement, JR walked back over to his father's desk, sat down in one of the leather chairs in front of it, and waited for him to make the call. Promoting from within was worth a shot; it did mean slightly less work for them if they found a suitable applicant, and it did mean more time for he and his father to focus on other tasks, tasks related to oil rather than people. If Bernard didn't know of anyone suitable, then it wasn't the end of the world; he would be happy as long as they could get the ball rolling on some kind of plan to find a replacement roadman before he left town later in the week. They didn't have to hire anyone immediately, and realistically, they probably wouldn't, but he would like to be able to focus on his other work, and on his home life, without the stress of the possibility that they wouldn't find anyone and he'd be left stretched thin in six weeks because he'd ultimately be the one to assume Bobby's duties. He was interested in doing whatever they could now to plan for the future, because he liked the way things were now and he was not going to risk losing everything he had worked so hard for.

To be continued…


	507. Progress

**Dallas, Texas**

"Sue Ellen? What are your thoughts on all of this?" considering Doctor Williams' question, Sue Ellen stayed silent for a moment before answering, speaking in a confident voice as she did. "I feel good about it. I'm happy to see JR happy at work and I'm pleased that he realises how our home life benefits from the role he has now and how it would suffer if he were to try to absorb Bobby's tasks. Regarding the actual business decisions, to be quite honest I don't have too many strong thoughts or feelings there; as long as JR isn't the one travelling often and living a lifestyle that's unsuitable for his life now, and as long as he's happy to live that way, I'm happy. Somebody has to do the job, but I don't really care who that actually is, and my opinion on that topic really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things either. I have nothing to do with Ewing Oil in any aspect other than being a Ewing, a Ewing married to the vice president and future president; I'm not qualified to make business decisions or judgements. I do sympathise with JR though, neither Jock nor Bobby gave him forewarning about Bobby's resignation, so he is having to move quickly to find a replacement, and I know how difficult it can be to talk with Jock, especially when you disagree with him. As I said before, I can't make business decisions, I'm not qualified to do that and I don't think anyone really wants me to do that, but I do care about JR and I'm here to support him throughout this period of uncertainty. From what he tells me, hiring new staff isn't easy or particularly enjoyable, so I suppose I'll be glad when it's all over, not for my sake, but for his". Answering Doctor Williams specifically, because he had asked her a direct question and it seemed only natural to answer him, she then remembered what he had said many times in the past and turned toward JR to tell him personally how she felt.

"I mean it, I'm happy when you're happy and I know that the thought of one day having the company to yourself is what makes you happy, and every little step you take closer to that eventual outcome is a step closer to a new level of happiness for you. You are in a challenging time at work right now, but as you have told me many times before, it's not forever, and you're JR Ewing, you can do anything. I love your attitude toward life…" not quite going as far as to verbally tell him how attractive she found him when he took charge of things and did exactly as he said he would, she hoped he knew, but if he didn't, he would later, when they were alone. "I am also very secure in the knowledge that you love me and John Ross and you love our home life, so secure that I don't think your business aspirations are a threat to our happiness, as long as you maintain a balance of course. I think we're well past the point where things were too far one way or the other though; I'm proud of you and I'm here to support you". She genuinely believed they had come a long way and it would take more than a little bit of work stress to cause issues in their relationship again and she hoped JR felt the same way.

"I know darlin', I'm happy, you're happy, we're happy, and everything is going to be just fine. You're right, it isn't enjoyable to have to scramble and organize things in a hurry because my little brother just couldn't wait to get away from Ewing Oil, but it's not worth worrying about and it's certainly not worth allowing to affect our personal lives. I take this opportunity to thank you for your support though; from the very beginning of our relationship you have always been my biggest supporter and that means a lot to me; it's nice to have someone who is on my side and it's nice to have someone in my life who will just listen to me". Briefly changing the direction he was looking in, he turned toward Doctor Williams and finished speaking, "believe it or not doc, before Sue Ellen I didn't really have a whole lot of people to talk to". Going quiet as he immediately regretted verbalising his last thought, he then cleared his throat and looked at his wife again, "anyway, uh, thank you, and please, don't even bother starting to worry about me. I have everything figured out and with the amount of work daddy and I are doing to get everything set for when Bobby leaves, this will all be over soon enough, then we can get back to having normal conversations about my day again, you know, the ones where I proudly tell you about how I'm singlehandedly running the company". Quickly eliminating any vulnerability from his tone, he grinned as he jokingly talked himself up; Sue Ellen knew how deeply he felt about certain things, and he loved that she empathised with him, but there was no reason for her to worry, and he had no desire to start dissecting his feelings with Doctor Williams.

Listening to and observing the conversation between husband and wife, Doctor Williams jotted down a few thoughts, nodded and made a few sounds to indicate he had heard the comments directed toward him. It didn't surprise him one bit that prior to Sue Ellen, JR hadn't had many people in his life he could talk to; he was close but distant with his family, he'd never been in a serious relationship, and he seemed to lack real friends, people he spent time with simply because he enjoyed their company. It also didn't surprise him that JR had only shown a deeper side of his vulnerability for a brief moment before covering it up again. JR Ewing was a strong man, there was no doubt about that, but he wasn't made of stone, he had emotions and insecurities just like everyone else, he just didn't seem to enjoy letting anyone but Sue Ellen and his son see that part of him. Regarding the majority of the conversation between JR and Sue Ellen though, he was pleased with the progress that they had made. He was sure they were just verbally reiterating things now, things each of them already knew and had heard from the other, but it pleased him that they were becoming increasingly more comfortable just talking, without having to think too much about how to phrase their feelings.

A few minutes later, after congratulating them on their increased communication and strengthened emotional connection, Doctor Williams briefly scanned his notes to check they had covered most of what he had planned to before he began to bring their appointment to a close in the way he liked to when meetings ended on a positive note. "I think we're making a lot of progress here, you're clearly communicating with each other and that communication isn't just on the surface, there is a deeper understanding of each other's motivations and reasons for requests. With that in mind, before our next appointment, I want you to both consider how you can begin to use the skills you have developed with each other to communicate your feelings more clearly toward other people. Sue Ellen, I want you to think about actually verbalising your disapproval to your father-in-law the next time he says something you don't agree with. I don't mean be rude, just firm, so he remembers what you've already told him. JR, I want you to do the same, but I also want you to think about what you were saying earlier about not having too many people you can talk with. As wonderful as it is that you have Sue Ellen, I do believe it would be beneficial for you to have a peer to speak with, someone you consider a friend, or even just an acquaintance, but a personal acquaintance, not a business one. That person could even be your brother, or not; just someone, anyone, I think having a friend would be something positive for you. As a couple, I can only encourage you to keep doing as you are; I think you're on the right path now. With that in mind, I wish you all the best on your upcoming anniversary trip; take the time to enjoy yourselves and each other".

When they ended their meetings in a positive manner, he liked to set his patients a challenge or give them something to think about before their next appointment, it was intended to help them stay focused on their progress during the time between appointments and at any point where they started to doubt themselves. The Ewings had come a long way from where they'd been when he'd first met them, and he had a feeling that if they chose to stop seeing him now, they would remain a strong couple, but in his professional opinion, they still had a bit further to go before they were well-rounded individuals as well as an unbreakable couple. He was there to help them for as long as they wanted his help and as long as he continued to see areas where he could assist them.

To be continued…


	508. Valentine's Evening

**Vail, Colorado**

Smiling to herself in anticipation of what was about to come, Sue Ellen Ewing moved closer to the bathroom mirror to reapply her lipstick and as she did, she couldn't help but laugh as she studied her reflection from a different angle. She had thought she had understood JR's gift before, but leaning forward, she understood even more what had been going on in his mind when he'd purchased the barely there, red, lace bra and panties for her as a Valentine's Day gift. From what would soon be his perspective, all of her best assets were on display, but were also strategically covered by just enough of the delicate fabric to tease him and add a small sense of mystery to their foreplay. Displaying so much so soon wasn't her usual style, or JR usual gift style, but she knew her husband and she knew that he enjoyed things like this every so often, and honestly, so did she, so she was happy to indulge his fantasies. As long as he continued to be honest with her about what he enjoyed and what he wanted and as long as he only sought her to satisfy those wants, she was happy to participate. She wasn't conservative or unadventurous, and she certainly wasn't ashamed to admit she actually enjoyed trying new things, so as long as she continued to feel respected and loved in her marriage, she was happy to do what JR wanted to do and she wasn't afraid to suggest things she wanted to do. Her marriage to JR wasn't all adventurous, they certainly had a reasonable amount of intimate experiences that were just that, intimate, but not necessarily new or inventive, but she was happy, and she enjoyed the way things were; variety was the spice of life, but variety didn't mean things had to always be brand new rather than ordinary and familiar. Fluffing her hair and checking her makeup and appearance one last time, she then reached for the door handle and opened the door.

Turning his head as soon as he heard the familiar sound of high heels clicking against a hard floor, JR's mouth went dry as the bathroom door opened and his wife appeared. They had exchanged Valentine's gifts earlier in the morning and he'd found it difficult throughout the day to keep himself from fantasising about how she'd look, but even when he hadn't been able to keep his thoughts in check, his mind had never gone as far as to imagine just how sexy and beautiful she would actually look in reality. He'd come to terms a long time ago with how much of an idiot he'd been in their early marriage, but every time he was confronted with a visual reminder, he mentally kicked himself. There had been absolutely no reason he had 'needed' to use other women to live out his fantasies, his wife had always been there and if he had just been honest with her, she would have done anything he'd asked her to. Fortunately for him, they had managed to overcome their issues and were now very happy with each other and they were on a path individually and as a couple toward ultimate happiness. After briefly considering the past, his thoughts then toward the present, though as he took in Sue Ellen's physical appearance, it was difficult to focus on anything but his attraction to her and what the rest of their night held. "Hello darlin'", grinning at her as she slowly strutted from the bathroom toward the bed, he surrendered to his thoughts; they were going to have a wonderful Valentine's Day tonight, then tomorrow they would do the same thing, but in the name of their wedding anniversary, then the rest of their trip would just simply be wonderful. They had barely seen anything Vail had to offer, because they had arrived at their ski resort relatively late in the evening, but that had no bearing on is opinion; he loved Texas, but Colorado certainly had its benefits.

**Dallas, Texas**

A few hundred miles southeast of Vail, Bobby Ewing was in a similar but different position to his brother and sister-in-law. He didn't have a serious girlfriend to wine and dine this Valentine's Day, but he did have friends with girlfriends, and those girlfriends had single friends, single friends who were always on the lookout for the right man. The moment he had met Denise, he had known they had no future together, but he wasn't a bad guy and he wasn't going to disappoint her by refusing to take her dancing like he had promised his old college roommate's girlfriend he would. As expected, his date had been fine, but it hadn't been the beginning of anything special, in fact, by the lack of second date queries on Denise's part at the end of the night, he was fairly sure she felt the same way about him as he did her; they just weren't suited for each other and that was ok. After an uneventful evening, he hadn't been expecting to end up where he was now, however, somehow, he had.

Knowing he didn't have any work to do the next day except fly to Midland in the afternoon, he had elected to not return to Southfork immediately after his date ended, not just because he didn't feel like answering his parents questions about his early return, but because there really wasn't much to do at Southfork on a Wednesday evening. He was young, single and relatively free to live his life however he wanted, and if his wants at the end of the night were selfish, then that was ok; he didn't have anyone to answer to and as long as he wasn't hurting anyone with his actions, he could do whatever he wished with his time, energy and money.

Watching lustfully as the young brunette girl he'd begun talking to at the beginning of the second part of his evening stepped back, stretched her arms across her body and tossed her dress over her head, he wasted no time following her lead and before he knew it, they were horizontal and well on their way to satisfying their desires. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that if the situation were any different his actions would have been considered selfish, because although they had talked, he still couldn't have repeated her name back if asked to, however, from the way she was acting, she didn't personally care too much about him either, so it was a win-win. For the second time in one evening, he hadn't successfully found a woman he wanted to build a future with, but again, that was ok, because fortunately for him, Cathy, Carol, Cheryl, or whatever her name was, was simply a young, single, liberated woman with an appetite for sex, she had no expectation or desire for more with him. He wanted a girlfriend, eventually, but in the meantime, until that happened, he was happy enough to satisfy his physical desires with whatever woman was available at the time.

To be continued…


	509. Lessons

**Vail, Colorado**

"Mr and Mrs Ewing?" looking up as he heard their names being called, JR let out a sigh of relief as he matched the voice with the late-30s woman standing over by the door. He had tipped the hotel concierge a lot of money to ensure that he and Sue Ellen were paired with a female ski instructor during all of their lessons and he was happy to see his payoff hadn't gone to waste. He wasn't so insecure that he thought a male instructor was really a big deal, however, he wasn't interested in having to deal with any possible feelings of inadequacy or jealousy if the instructor turned out to be a young, attractive man, and he didn't want to deal with Sue Ellen's mood if he had to deal with that man. In his opinion, instead of allowing things to just happen and having to deal with completely preventable consequences as they occurred, it was better to mitigate and control the situation before it even had a chance of turning into a problem.

Squeezing JR's hand and standing to walk over to their ski instructor, Sue Ellen felt both ill with nerves and giddy with excitement. She had wanted to come skiing and thus far, she was enjoying Vail for everything it visually and culturally was, but she couldn't pretend she wasn't nervous about moving from spectator to participant. She had never skied before and while she was excited to learn how to, she had also read more than one accident horror story and couldn't get the mental image of broken bones and possible death related to an avalanche out of her mind. As JR had told her earlier though, it was highly unlikely that they would be doing anything adventurous enough today to actually warrant any of her worrying. In all honesty, she was a beginner, she was going to fall down more than a few times while learning, then she would get comfortable enough to move a few feet, then a little more, and soon enough she would be able to ski down the beginner slopes. What would be unlikely to happen though was anything more than that; she would go at a reasonable speed and possibly, if she didn't stop correctly, fall on her arm or twist her leg in a bad position, but most likely her body would be just fine, and she wouldn't be anywhere near active enough to cause an avalanche. As Doctor Williams always said too, worrying about the future was futile, she couldn't control much more than her own actions, and even in that case she didn't need to allow her fear to control her. She and JR were in Vail to ski and have fun, and that was what they would do, whether she looked foolish or amateurish or not. Vulnerability wasn't something to be ashamed of, not when no one was expecting her to be perfect, and certainly not when the only people around to witness her vulnerability were her husband and a professional instructor, two people who were there to support her, not tear her down.

"Mr Ewing, please, keep your skis across the hill for now, we don't want you sliding down before you're ready", staying calm as she spoke, Anna, the ski instructor, mentally shook her head. Mrs Ewing was a very cautious woman and had been following the directions almost too rigidly, but Mr Ewing had the opposite problem, he held a higher opinion of his level of ability than what she was seeing reflected in his physical actions. "Mrs Ewing, good, I think you've got the hang of coming to a stop, now let's try moving again and slowing but not completely stopping. So, body straight, legs forward, skis positioned down the slope and then allow yourself to slowly glide down; not too fast though, if you feel yourself picking up too much speed, turn your skis to form a v". Giving Mrs Ewing her directions, she watched as she did as instructed, making it halfway down the very small slope before losing her balance as she attempted to slow, ending up on her backside, uninjured physically, but a little embarrassed. Shouting a few words of encouragement and confirming that Mrs Ewing was ok and was returning to them, she then turned her attention back to Mr Ewing. "You've skied before, so you have the basics, stop, go, slow, but I don't want to send you down that slope until I'm confident you're able to think fast and swerve around other people. I imagine you'll want to be going at some speed once we make our way over to the slope so I need you more than your wife to be able to be responsible and aware of other people enjoying the mountain too. With that in mind, let's work on turning and slowing, and I want you to try to widen your view too; don't just look at what's directly in front of you, the mountain is like a road, you need to be aware of the hazards around you so you can ensure you arrive safely at your destination". Receiving a nod and what she was sure was probably an eye roll behind his reflective goggles, she then instructed him to practice zigzagging down the very small slope.

"Damn woman", reaching the bottom of the tiny hill Anna had insisted they start their lesson on, JR grumbled to himself as he came to a smooth stop, turned and then began his slow ascent back up to his wife and the know-it-all he had stupidly requested an afternoon with. She was right, he did have prior experience and understand the basics they were practicing for Sue Ellen's benefit, and he did want to go fast, but he did not appreciate her comment about his supposed lack of hazard awareness. He wasn't an idiot and he wasn't blind, he knew to swerve away from trees and other skiers instead of staying on a straight path and ploughing straight into someone; he didn't need a 'professional' to tell him what to do. Reaching the top of the small hill and seeing how happy and confident Sue Ellen was though, all thanks to Anna's encouragement and coddling, he swallowed his annoyance at her condescending attitude toward him and tried to genuinely listen as she commented on his performance. He'd paid the hotel concierge handsomely for the exclusive use of Anna's services during their vacation, however, he was now reconsidering that decision; as he saw it though, his payoff wasn't a wasted investment, because he had paid for a say in the scheduling of the resort's ski instructors and that meant he could change that schedule as he wished. Anna would be booked solid tomorrow, but they wouldn't be on her appointment list, he would make sure of it.

To be continued…


	510. Grandfather

**Dallas, Texas**

"Granddaddy?" watching as her grandmother carried her baby cousin upstairs for his bath, Lucy Ewing approached her grandfather and waited for him to acknowledge her. She loved her grandparents and although it wasn't pleasant to admit, she had more positive memories with them than she did with her parents, however, from what she saw of her grandfather with John Ross, she feared he might miss out on some of what she had, and she didn't really understand why that was. John Ross had his own parents, that was true, but that didn't mean he didn't also have grandparents, an uncle, aunt, and a cousin and it didn't mean his extended family weren't a part of his life. She wasn't an expert in childrearing and she definitely wasn't kept in the loop when it came to adult conversations, so there could be some perfectly reasonable explanation for her grandfather's actions, or lack of actions, but at present, she just simply did not understand why he was so hands-off when it came to John Ross. She had spent years listening to him drone on and on about how great it would be when the Ewing family finally gained a grandson, and she continued to hear him compliment John Ross on how smart, well-behaved, and handsome he was, but she never really saw it go further than that and that confused her. Where her grandmother and uncle Bobby would get down on the floor with John Ross and play with him, her grandfather preferred to watch and comment, and when it came to tending to his needs, he never seemed to volunteer. It made some sense to her that he didn't really participate in the actual childcare of his grandson, she didn't really remember him doing that with her when she was younger, but she did have fond memories of being out on the ranch and just generally spending time with him more than she saw him doing with John Ross now. It didn't make sense, her grandfather had wanted John Ross for years, but now that he had him, he didn't spend very much quality time with him, and knowing how it felt to be ignored, she wanted to change the way he treated her baby cousin before John Ross truly began to remember and respond back to him.

"Lucy?" looking up from his newspaper at his granddaughter, Jock Ewing immediately knew he wasn't entering an easy conversation, her facial expression said it all and that worried him. "Do you remember when I was a little girl?" hearing her words, it took him a moment to comprehend what she was actually saying. Did he remember? Of course he remembered, he had been there throughout her childhood, not like her no-good father and well-meaning, but ultimately inadequate mother. "Yes, I do, and you're still a little girl…" wondering where she was going with her question, he responded and waited for her to elaborate. "Good, and I meant a little, little girl, say from when I was about John Ross' age all the way up until I started elementary school, you know, when I was younger and I needed more attention". Letting out a small snort at the inference that somehow elementary school had made his dramatic, emotional granddaughter any less needy when it came to attention, he stifled his emotions fairly quickly as he noted her serious facial expression remained unchanged. "Mm, I remember. Why do you ask?" she clearly had a point, but he didn't know what it was, and as he was tired from a long day at work, he wasn't particularly interested in playing games, so he decided to just come straight out and ask what she was wanting to discuss.

"Do you remember when I used to ask you to piggyback me down to the stables so we could see the horses? Do you remember teaching me how to ride? Or when I used to refuse to go to sleep until you, not grandma or uncle Bobby, had read me that book about the farm animals? I ask you if you remember because I remember and those are happy memories for me. I want John Ross to have those happy memories too. I don't know if it's because you don't realise or you don't care, but I don't think he is going to have those happy memories if you don't start to do those things with him. He's little, but he already has a favourite book, and he loves when grandma and Sue Ellen take him to see Chestnut, Toffee and Ace. He's not like me, he has parents who care, but that doesn't mean he doesn't also need his other family. I don't mean to be disrespectful, so please don't spank me or send me to my room for saying this, but I think you need to show John Ross you love him if you do love him, because I can tell you, it doesn't take very much for a person to realise how much or little they are actually loved. My parents weren't around when I wanted them to be, but luckily I had you, grandma, uncle Bobby and now Sue Ellen and John Ross and even uncle JR isn't as unpleasant to be around anymore; I want John Ross to grow up with the same, but better than I had".

Listening and watching his granddaughter as she spoke, Jock Ewing was shocked, not only by her gall and that she would really speak to him in the way she just had, but also by the depth of her emotions and how much her accusations actually hurt him. He loved John Ross and he had always assumed he made that very clear to everyone, but if what his wife, and now his granddaughter, were saying was true, apparently his shows of love weren't very obvious to other people. "Come here", holding his hand out to his young granddaughter, he patted the seat next to him and guided her to sit down. "I don't know when you grew up so much, but I don't think I like it", half-joking and half-serious, because he still thought of her as a little girl and strong opinions had no place in little girl's lives, he stayed silent for a few moments as he tried to figure out how to respond to her concerns and accusations. "It's not nice to say such hurtful things to someone when you're not completely certain that they're true, but I'm not going to spank you or send you to your room this time because I do believe you had John Ross' best interests at heart. I love John Ross, just like I love you, and while I can see some of your points, I don't think you're being completely fair to me. You're grown up enough now to know your situation is different to John Ross'; he doesn't need his granddaddy to be his daddy and granddaddy, and he isn't mine to primarily parent. There are some things you won't understand, but as an adult there are boundaries I cannot cross, not until I'm invited to; John Ross has parents and they are the ones that are in control for now. You have a fair point about building other positive memories though and I suppose I could do better in some aspects, but you have to understand, young babies aren't something I have a lot of experience with. It's no coincidence that your early memories of me begin when you were a little older than John Ross is now; I like being able to communicate with my children and grandchildren and as you've probably realised by now, communication is a lot easier when there are words being exchanged. I suppose I could always try more though; if you say John Ross has a favourite book and loves horses then maybe I could start there…"

Realising that he had just allowed his preteen granddaughter to guilt him into something and feeling a little humiliated that he had admitted his weaknesses to her, Jock's brief period of openness and honesty quickly ended and he closed himself off in a way that left little doubt as to where JR had learned the habit. "It's uh, getting late, and you have school in the morning. I think it's time for you to go and get ready for bed…" making a suggestion but saying it in a tone that didn't make it really sound like she had any other option, he then stood, walked over to the doorway into the foyer and waited for her to follow him. It really wasn't that close to her bedtime, but he was uncomfortable with their conversation now and retreating into the downstairs office while sending her upstairs with a task to complete was preferable to continuing talking. Perhaps he would read John Ross a story tonight and perhaps he would try to take him down to the stables on Saturday, especially since Sue Ellen wasn't around to tell him he was being too controlling, but he would make that decision himself, maybe involving his wife, or maybe not, but not simply because his granddaughter told him to. He was Jock Ewing, he was the one people listened to, not the one that was told to listen, and just because someone else had a fair point didn't mean he was content to listen and passively change his behaviour. In this case, a change in his behaviour would probably benefit everyone, but he couldn't change too quickly, he was a proud man and it wouldn't reflect well on his strong personality if it appeared he could be persuaded to act differently simply because a little girl told him to.

Watching as Lucy ascended the staircase, walking slowly, without her usual energetic demeanour, he suddenly felt guilty about shutting down her attempt to communicate with him. That damn therapist of hers had probably told her to voice her thoughts when she had something to say, that's what JR and Sue Ellen's therapist seemed to promote, but he hadn't received the memo that he had to also remain open to communication, even when it made him uncomfortable. His granddaughter looked defeated and suddenly he felt a lot more insecure and unsure than he had a moment ago. Not allowing a child to control him was not the same as not listening to her when she tried to share her thoughts and feelings with him, he hadn't understood that before, but it was clear to him now for some reason. The problem was though, all of this was new to him and he had no idea where to go to from here. He wanted to do something, but he didn't want to look like he was only acting because Lucy had told him to, but at the same time, he didn't want to upset her or make her feel unimportant by doing nothing. Sighing to himself as she disappeared down the upstairs hallway, he turned and retreated into the office. He now had two things to think about; before he did anything though, he needed a drink.

To be continued…


	511. Après–ski

**Vail, Colorado**

"For the drinks, and in advance for the service", handing the crisp notes to their waiter, JR shook the man's hand and then turned back to his wife. After a long morning of 'learning to ski' and then an afternoon on the slopes that passed much too quickly, he was both exhausted and exhilarated and a nice drink fireside and mountainside was just what he needed to relax and unwind before he and Sue Ellen headed back to their room to get ready for dinner. When booking their vacation he had made sure his travel agent understood that they were travelling to Vail not just for the ski experience or because he was trying to impress his wife with an extravagant Valentine's Day celebration, but because it was their wedding anniversary and his wife deserved a perfect, relaxing, romantic getaway. He had emphasised that he expected everything to be of the highest standard and he was slowly but surely ensuring the people serving them in Vail knew that too, even the ones like the waiter serving them now. Their visit was a short one, but everyone who worked on tips would do well for themselves if they understood that when the Ewings were around, they were the people to please.

The situation with Anna the ski instructor earlier hadn't been ideal, but for all her faults, she did seem to have been successful with Sue Ellen, so he would allow her to move on to her next clients in peace. Apart from that one little hiccup though, everyone else had been very accommodating and he was thoroughly impressed. He had a special vacation planned and he wanted everything to go perfectly, not just because he wanted Sue Ellen to be happy, but because he liked the feeling of being in control and lately there had been a few times where he felt like he was losing a little bit of control and he didn't like it. Overall, he was still a powerful man and he was set to get everything he had ever wanted in relation to Ewing Oil, but the stress Bobby's leaving had put on him and his father recently had certainly had an impact on him. He would come out the other side just fine, and he always returned home to a happy home, free of tension and arguments now that he and Sue Ellen were in their own home, away from Southfork, but the journey to get to his absolute ideal life was currently a bit challenging. In coming to Vail, he had promised himself and Sue Ellen that he would try to relax and not think too deeply about what was happening in Dallas while he was gone, and so far, it was working and he was having a wonderful time; he just needed to remind himself sometimes that there was more to life than business. Somewhere in the back of his mind too he was mulling over what Doctor Williams had said about him needing a friend or even just an acquaintance, but he wasn't ready to admit just yet that the doctor was right; he would come back to it in due course, for now though, it wasn't something he was consciously debating.

"I can't believe all of this is real. It snows in Dallas, but it's nothing like this. Look at the mountains and this town, it's like a fairy-tale, or at least an advertisement, you know, a travel brochure or skiwear catalog". Sipping her hot apple cider and admiring the stunning scenery, lovely architecture, and bustling atmosphere, Sue Ellen's briefly remembered her time as a model and couldn't help but smile to herself as she considered how much happier JR would have been if she'd spent more time modelling ski suits and bulky sweaters than sundresses and swimwear. Her husband was a jealous man and at times she really disliked that about him, because he could be incredibly unreasonable when he was single-mindedly focused on something, but in the end she did love him and enjoy the way he thought of her as his.

"We'll have to bring John Ross here in a few years when he's older. I'm sure he'll love skiing, you do, and now that I'm more comfortable with everything, so do I". Listening to his wife, JR was brought out of his thoughts and back into the present, "mm, yes darlin', I agree, I think he'll love it. It might take him a while to appreciate the scenery, but I imagine if he's anything like the rest of the Ewing men he'll be thrilled by the idea of going down a mountain at high speed. You know me, I don't particularly like horses, but if I'm going to ride then it's going to be fast. The same goes for skiing, the faster, the better". Grinning, he let out a loud laugh at the way her facial expression changed as he spoke; he could almost hear her thoughts and her internal dilemma about whether she should voice them or not and it amused him that even after so many years, she was still so conscious of how certain things made her look. He knew his wife, she hated to think of situations where he was in danger, but at the same time, there were situations where she found his risk-taking exciting and sexy. In this situation, judging from her facial expression, he guessed she was struggling to reconcile her concerns about the potential harm that could come to him, with the fact that she also had many happy memories with him riding and skiing and she found him very attractive when he boyishly expressed enjoyment of certain activities. "Don't worry darlin', I'm careful too. If I do ever hurt myself though, I look forward to you nursing me back to health", shooting her his signature grin and then laughing again, he knew he'd broken her mood when she smacked his hand gently and gave him a very watered-down version of her disapproving look before muttering a few words under her breath and eventually smiling. Raising his glass to his lips, he smiled to himself and to Sue Ellen before taking a drink; he liked the way they were together now, it was nice to joke around, and he was pleased to have some time alone with his wife, away from everything, to enjoy each other's company and try new things.

An hour later, after relaxing with a couple of warming drinks at a bar near the ski field and then returning to their suite to shower and change for dinner, Sue Ellen checked her appearance in the mirror one final time before turning to face her husband, highly enjoying the way he looked at her as she did. JR had promised her the world when he had married her and in the three years they had been married, she felt he had more than delivered on his promise. She had a feeling that the best was still yet to come though, because with all of their planned travel, their happy and settled home and family life, and JR's success at work, everything was coming together to form a perfect picture. She didn't want to get too far ahead of herself though, the future would come, but it was time to enjoy the present, because what was happening now would soon just be a memory and she wanted it to be a positive memory. Thus far, their anniversary vacation had been wonderful; she felt very close and comfortable with JR and having the time to actually get out and do things together made her feel absolutely spoiled, she loved his companionship and attention. She didn't really know what JR's plan for the rest of the evening was, he hadn't given her many details other than to dress formally rather than casually, but she wasn't worried, in fact, she was excited. JR had always been a good date and vacation planner, but even if he wasn't and they spent every night pottering around their home, she wouldn't mind, because she would be with him, her husband, the man she loved more than anything, the man she knew loved her and wanted the same future with her as she wanted with him. "I'm ready", breaking the comfortable silence in the room, her heart skipped a beat when JR stepped forward, kissed her lightly and then whispered his raw, honest feelings in her ear before taking her hand and slowly leading them toward the door. JR Ewing had sent shivers down her spine the first time she had ever laid eyes on him, and five and a half years later, including three years of marriage, he still managed to have the same effect on her and for that simple pleasure, she was very happy and grateful.

To be continued…


	512. Mounting Frustration

**Vail, Colorado**

_"Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of Miss Texas 1967 is… Sue Ellen Shepard". Watching as she hugged one of the other contestants before turning back to the crowd and waving ecstatically as a white sash was placed around her chest and a beautiful sparkly silver crown on her head, he admired the stunning young woman from his place at the judges table. He had been watching her all evening and locking eyes with her as she walked across the stage to the sound of applause and 'The Yellow Rose of Texas' song playing in the background, he knew,_ _he knew he would have her, not only in his bed, but also in his life._

Awaking with a start, JR blinked a couple of times as he looked around the dark room and tried to register where he was and when it was. Feeling a leg draped over his, he turned his head, catching sight of his wife and the barely visible numbers on the clock and immediately realised where and when he was, and why he was there. His dream had been a memory, a memory of a time in his life where he had experienced something completely new and exciting, and a time in his life that had shaken him and changed his perspective on women, and love. He would be lying if he said the first thing that attracted him to Sue Ellen was her personality, because it wasn't; he'd made up his mind about her before ever actually interacting with her, even if he had heard her speak before he'd introduced himself. With pageants, the answers given on stage didn't necessarily reflect on what kind of person the young lady actually was, he knew that, so he hadn't put too much emphasis on Miss Austin's answers, though he had been impressed with her in comparison to her competition. In a way, Sue Ellen's personality had affected him a little bit though, he'd focused on her at first because he'd thought she was beautiful, and he'd recognized her escort, but after admiring how sexy she was without consciously trying to emphasise her sexiness, and how shy she seemed in comparison to the other girls flaunting themselves, he'd been hooked. Miss Austin, Sue Ellen Shepard, was something the other girls on stage weren't, she was a real lady, at least in his eyes. She knew what she had to do to win the title she was competing for, but at no point would she even entertain the idea of selling herself in a way that was beneath her in order to gain that title. Later, he came to understand that pageants themselves were something Sue Ellen enjoyed, but mostly because she wanted to make the most of the lifestyle her mother forced her into, not because she had always dreamed of sparkly crowns and sashes. The Miss America loss had been hard on her, she couldn't deny that, but he had a feeling that it was the uncertainty of her future without a title and a crown that was more upsetting than the actual loss of the competition, because once he finally proposed and they did marry, she seemed more than content to move on. Skipping the part of their marriage where things had gone a bit awry, he knew that the moment John Ross was born was the moment that really solidified her happiness with the path her life had taken. He knew from talking to her, and from being around her in general, that being a wife, mother, and simply being Sue Ellen Ewing, were all the titles she needed; she didn't pine for a Miss America title, or wish she had had the opportunity to further pursue her modelling career; she was happy with the life she had now.

Tensing for a moment as Sue Ellen moved slightly, brushing against his body as she did, he muttered a couple of words to himself under his breath as he felt his body reacting to her closeness. He had awoken for a reason and it wasn't simply because he'd recalled a vivid, happy, wholesome memory in his dream; he'd been able to ignore the small, subconscious biological reaction at first, but with every gentle wiggle his wife made in her sleep, his issue seemed to get worse and worse. "Sue Ellen, are you awake?" knowing she wasn't but trying his luck anyway, he gently nudged his wife; she wasn't a huge fan of being woken up in the middle of the night, especially not after an exhausting day and exciting evening, but he had a problem and she was the obvious solution to his problem. He may have been remembering 1967, but it wasn't 1967 and he didn't have to act like it was; they were married and he didn't have to suffer in painful silence through uncomfortable moments like this, at least not as his first option.

"Mmm, what?" mumbling a few words in response to her husband's gentle but continuous nudging, Sue Ellen didn't even bother opening her eyes as she questioned what was going on. "Darlin', I have a problem… one you could help me fix…" Half asleep, she mumbled a few words into her pillow before going silent again, "JR, I'm tired… can you fix it yourself?" it was true, she was exhausted, she had been skiing all day, then they'd gone to dinner and out dancing, and then they'd returned to their hotel suite for an evening of completely enjoyable, but physically exhausting intimacy. Now, it was the middle of the night and before he had started nudging her, she had been in a deep sleep; she wasn't interested in being awake and she certainly wasn't interested in using her brain to fix whatever problem he wanted to discuss. They were on vacation, everything could wait until the morning, it wasn't as if they had to get up and leave to go anywhere quickly. Exhausted, the moment of silence between speaking and waiting for JR to respond was almost enough time for her to return to the deep sleep she had been enjoying before he had attempted to wake her; as it was though, she wasn't quite asleep when it finally registered with her what was going on. His frustrated sigh and the friction of their bodies against each other as he moved to get out of bed was just enough to spur her thoughts and allow her to realise what he had meant earlier. While she felt a little sorry for him, because she was well aware of how worked up he could get when he was sexually frustrated, she didn't feel guilty enough to move toward him to give him the help he had been asking for. Instead, she buried her head deeper into her pillow and mumbled a few inaudible words before inevitably succumbing to her tiredness.

Getting out of bed, JR paced around the room for a few minutes as he tried to calm himself down; he wasn't mad at his wife, she was tired, it was understandable, it was the middle of the night, but damn, he was annoyed and growing more frustrated and tense as time ticked on. He didn't have to deal with blue balls, he could easily fix his issue himself and Sue Ellen had all but told him to do so, but he'd just been thinking that it wasn't 1967 and he was past _having_ to do so out of frustration rather than just doing it because he wanted to and it felt good. He was no stranger to the latter option, even now as a married man, but in most situations nowadays, he consciously chose the times when he felt like having a bit of fun himself, just like he often chose the times when he wanted to enjoy his wife. All of his frustrated thoughts were a bit useless now though, Sue Ellen wasn't interested in helping him and no matter how hard he seemed to try, his body did not want to listen to his mind. Eventually, after what felt like an eternity of unsuccessfully trying to calm himself down, he finally allowed himself to succumb to his urge, taking one last look at his sleeping wife before hurrying into the bathroom.

To be continued…


	513. Persuasion

**Dallas, Texas**

"Good morning granddaddy", stopping her grandfather on the stairs before they entered the dining room for breakfast, Lucy Ewing made sure to use her happiest smile and sweetest voice as she greeted him and prepared for a confrontation. "Good morning Lucy", receiving a warm, but short, response from her grandfather before he smiled and continued walking, she then put her hand out to stop him from turning the corner just yet. It was presumptuous for her to try to control him, but she had never been afraid of a small amount of conflict and she had all the best intentions, so she wasn't afraid of saying something. "Granddaddy, I've been thinking about what you said a few days ago and I've decided to help you. It's Saturday, so you have all day to watch and learn, starting with breakfast. Grandma is just getting John Ross ready now, so you don't have to do that, but later, when we're all seated at the table, I want you to try helping. Then later, I was thinking of taking Toffee for a ride, so usually I would ask grandma if she wanted to bring John Ross down to the stables too, but I'm asking you today. You said you didn't have a lot of experience with young babies, but you have the opportunity to gain some experience now. Trying something new can be a challenge, but we have to do things that are hard sometimes because otherwise we never learn or grow; Doctor Lacey taught me that". Smiling in a way that indicated she was both smug and caring, she then skipped down the stairs and into the dining room as she heard John Ross' happy babbling and her grandmother's voice coming from the hallway above her; she wanted her grandfather to listen to her, but she wasn't quite ready to explain her plan to her grandmother.

"I think Teresa has prepared some oatmeal and bananas for you this morning. How does that sound?" speaking to her grandson as she carried him downstairs, Miss Ellie smiled as he babbled a few baba and nana sounds back to her, sounds that she wasn't sure were him trying to imitate her, but she liked to think were. John Ross was just like how Bobby and JR had been when they were babies when it came to verbal skills and motor skills; he was quick to scoot, crawl and now begin to walk around, but when it came to talking, he was taking his time. Of course, he wasn't even a year old yet, he still had plenty of time to develop his language skills a little more so when he did 'speak' it was more than just incoherent babbling sounds; she wasn't worried at all, he was normal, just like two of her sons had been. Gary had been just as normal, but different to his brothers as a baby, he had enjoyed being held and carried for a long time past when he was strong enough to crawl, and he had developed his own voice at an earlier age than JR had and later, Bobby had. When comparing her three sons' development though, Gary had always been the quietest and shiest; he had a way with words, but not many people had the privileged of knowing that side of him. She missed Gary dearly and she had a lot of regrets and thoughts that were a result of hindsight, but she couldn't allow the past to control the present and future; she had told Sue Ellen that enough times and it would be hypocritical and silly for her to not also believe and follow that line of thinking. On top of that, she had enough things in the present requiring her attention that she didn't really have time to constantly dwell on the past and what she would have done differently. She had two grandchildren that she wanted to ensure she had a good relationship with and as she was always telling her husband, a good relationship required continued effort. Strangely, as she passed her husband on the staircase, she had a funny feeling that perhaps her words were finally getting through to him, because for whatever reason, he had looked completely perplexed the moment before he'd noticed her and John Ross, but as soon as they passed him, his mood seemed to change.

Ten minutes later, after trying to truly take an interest in the way his wife spoon-fed his grandson his oatmeal and then allowed him to attempt to eat the slices of banana himself, Jock Ewing choked a little on his scrambled eggs as his mischievous granddaughter skipped ahead in the agreed plan to watch and learn. "I was thinking of riding Toffee out to the pond today. Granddaddy, why don't you and grandma bring John Ross down to see the horses too"; nothing she was saying was out of the ordinary, but she had specifically made a point to invite him and that meant his wife now expected him to be there too. He wasn't uncomfortable with the stables, or even with showing his grandson the horses, he'd done it before, what he was uncomfortable with though was the way he was allowing a little girl to control him. Today it was petting the animals and supervising meal times, but who knew what wild activity Lucy would suggest he participate in next; he wasn't ready for solo days at the park, finger-painting, singing, sitting and reading anything longer than a bedtime story, or actively playing with toys. A visit to the office, a day trip out to the oil fields, camping, hunting, ranching, enjoying the land, playing cards and telling stories of the old days, those were things he was comfortable with, but those activities were more suitable for older children and adults than they were for babies. Logically, he knew Lucy was right, John Ross was just a baby, he was happy with simple shows of attention and love, and he knew he probably didn't put enough effort into doing those things with his grandson, but he also knew his granddaughter, she liked to stir things up and he had to be mindful of her intentions. With her suggested activity for today though, there didn't seem to be much that could go wrong and he did believe she was honestly just trying to get him to make more of an effort at being a grandfather. If her speech earlier in the week was to be believed, he had made a bigger impact on her life than he had realised and she simply wanted her young cousin to have the same good memories she had had. Glancing back and forth at his wife and granddaughter's expectant facial expressions, he buried his uncertainty beneath a chuckle and happily responded, "I think that sounds like a wonderful idea", before turning toward his grandson and speaking directly to him, "how does that sound John Ross? Do you want to go and see the horses?" Surprised by the reaction he received from all three of his family members as he responded, his mood improved almost instantly; he may have been uncertain and a little uncomfortable inside, but no one seemed to mind, they wanted him to do something with them and they were happy he had agreed.

To be continued…


	514. Hell Is Other People

**Vail, Colorado**

"Look at those rings… why do you never buy me things like that?" slipping her fur-lined, leather gloves off her hands and placing them in her purse as she exited the cloakroom and entered the large converted barn, Sue Ellen silently wished she hadn't as she heard the loud whispers behind her, whispers that she was sure were about her. "I see them. I don't know what you're complaining about though; you have a whole box of jewellery at home". She and JR had been having a perfectly enjoyable day until they had boarded the horse drawn sleigh half an hour ago, then they had 'met' Peggy and Melvin, a young married couple who acted more like a bitter old married couple. Internally cringing with embarrassment as she tried to but failed at not listening to another couple's disagreement, she reached out to squeeze JR's hand to indicate to him she wanted him to move faster because the faster they found a table in the large rustic dining room, the sooner they could get back to relaxing. Unfortunately, in the meantime, she had to put up with the private but public argument going on behind her, one that made her uncomfortable mostly because she felt like she had been the catalyst for the current squabble and it always made her uncomfortable when her and JR's wealth was the topic of conversation for other people. "Yeah, costume jewellery. Those ain't no off-the-rack accessories, they're the real deal. You never buy me anything nice like that and when you do it's only because you'll get something out of it too. I know you didn't just buy me that mixer or that new iron because you thought I'd like them, I know you did it for your own good, because now I have no excuse not to make you a cake when you ask me to, and you can gleefully point out where I missed the wrinkles in your laundry". Feeling JR squeezing her hand back before moving his hand to rest on her lower back, she relaxed a little as he then guided them toward a table a few feet to their right; there were two and only two open seats and for that she was very grateful. Unfortunately, just as she and JR found their table for the evening, it appeared Peggy and Melvin were also successful, taking a seat at a table just a few yards from theirs and continuing their somewhat publicly inappropriate disagreement, oblivious to the world around them.

Scanning the large converted barn's dining room to see if there were any open seats further away from the unpleasant couple, JR refrained from muttering his thoughts under his breath, instead just thinking them and sharing a look with Sue Ellen. Seeing little acceptable available alternative seating, he looked at Sue Ellen with an arched eyebrow and then leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, whispering in her ear so only she could hear as he did so, "I quote '_it'll be fun and romantic, a sunset sleigh ride and campfire dinner_'.It's funny that neither the brochure nor the hotel concierge mentioned the running commentary on everything but the scenery, or the fact that we would spend the first ten minutes of our time here competing with half of Colorado for seating because someone was too lazy to allocate tables beforehand". Grinning and shaking his head jokingly as he pulled back, he knew she understood he wasn't being completely serious, even if he was annoyed by the background bickering and inconvenient seating arrangements. Apart from the two big inconveniences, their day and evening had been very enjoyable so far and unless the little annoyances became absolutely too much, he was going to try to keep it that way.

Letting out a small laugh as JR whispered in her ear, Sue Ellen turned and faced him, raising her eyebrow as she looked at him. "I'll give you that one, this isn't exactly what I expected either, but before you smugly pat yourself on the back about being a better planner than I am, I remind you of our ski lesson this morning. I know Anna wasn't a random pairing for our first lesson and I know she wasn't accidentally overbooked this morning; you forget, I know you, I know you like to control things and I know you hate having people tell you what to do, least of all a woman who doesn't care about the Ewing name. I love you though, insecurity and all. Next time though, relax; I am not going to run off with any other man, let alone a ski instructor, so you don't have to go to such great lengths to control the situation and prevent things from occurring. I also don't care whether you're the absolute best at something or not, so you don't have to make up situations simply to change a small thing like our instructor because you're afraid her criticism will affect my opinion of you. I just like to see you having fun and I like it when you have fun with me, it doesn't matter how or where that happens", leaning up to kiss him on the cheek, she jumped a little as their tender moment was interrupted by Peggy's squawking. Unable to suppress her eye roll this time as she became privy to the details of another couple's inane disagreement, she then leaned closer to JR again, "scratch that thought, I want to amend what I just said. I love it when you're having fun with me, but I do rather enjoy seeing you exert that power of yours. Please, go over there, have a word with that man, pay him off, have him removed, something, I cannot deal with this all evening". Tilting her head and smiling in a way that looked friendly to anyone who was glancing at her, but that JR knew meant she was serious and reaching her tolerance limit, she was pleased when he grinned, nodded and stood up, muttering "it would be my pleasure" as he excused himself from the table. Watching as he pulled a young waiter aside and whispered something to him before handing him a small bundle of cash, she smiled smugly to herself and turned back toward the table. She was sure JR had everything under control now and she was free to enjoy her evening again, and enjoy it she would. The scenery riding out through the snow on a horse drawn sleigh had been spectacular, cosying up under a blanket with her husband had been very romantic, the converted barn was lovely, the food smelled delicious, and the atmosphere now that most people had found seating was buzzing; the scene was set for a positive evening and she felt good.

To be continued…


	515. Vacation Blues

**Vail, Colorado**

Lying facing JR and occasionally leaning forward to kiss and touch him a little more passionately than their resting position allowed, Sue Ellen smiled to herself as she snuggled down into the soft sheets and continued to listen to him talk, moving from topic to topic without any real pattern. JR had an effect on her like no man had ever had before, it didn't really matter what he was talking about, she always found it interesting to listen to him. Of course, there were times where she was exhausted or confused and therefore couldn't follow exactly what he was saying or respond particularly articulately, and there were times where he annoyed her, but for the most part, she loved listening to him speak. She had known it from almost the beginning of their relationship, he had hidden depths and not everyone was privy to those depths, but she was, and luckily for him, she had had a less than perfect upbringing too, so she had a lot of empathy for him when he dropped his façade of always being strong and powerful. This morning, as it was their last morning in Vail, she was reminded more clearly than ever that despite him acting like he was on top of things at the office, he still had a lot of things on his mind and he was never completely at ease. Sure, he wasn't a complete workaholic, he was able to remove himself from thinking about Ewing Oil every minute of the day, and when he was at home with her and John Ross, he was happy and relaxed, but with their return to Dallas looming, she could feel his tension returning. Bobby was leaving Ewing Oil and he and Jock had to replace him in somewhat of a hurry; the oil industry was chugging along, but wasn't anywhere near as profitable or reliable as it had been in the past; and while the issue of friendship wasn't work related, she knew it was weighing on his mind.

Drawing little circles on his chest with her index finger, Sue Ellen allowed her husband to lie quietly wrapped up in his own thoughts for a few minutes after he finished recounting his hopes for John Ross' future, hopes she had heard a million times before, but she didn't mind hearing again, because they weren't selfish like Jock's were. Even in speaking about something happy though, she could tell that he was preoccupied and not completely able to relax and just enjoy what he had right now; there was something on his mind and it was affecting the way he was thinking about everything, including her. "Do you want to talk about it?" breaking the silence after allowing him a good while to consider whatever was going on in his mind, she looked him in the eye and waited for any kind of response. They were fairly good at communicating with each other now, but even with open and honest communication, they still needed a little time to themselves to think sometimes, and at times, he also preferred to communicate not with words but with actions. From being out and about with him, she knew when he was tense, angry, insecure, or feeling cocky and on top of the world, and when they were alone, especially when they were in bed, it was much the same. While they had been enjoying a fairly energetic sex life over the past few days, this morning had been markedly different; this morning they had returned to their roots, enjoying slow, passionate intimacy, revelling in the emotional connection it left them with afterwards. Being together in a way that was at the time more about physical sexual gratification than emotional closeness was neither better nor worse than the alternative, it was just different and she enjoyed having both situations occur regularly in her life.

"Talk about what? John Ross' future?" subconsciously shaking her head as JR responded to her question with another question, she then leaned up and kissed him softly again before speaking, "no, about what's on your mind. I hate to remind you aloud, but I know you're already thinking about it, so I will anyway. We're returning home today and while we're both excited to see John Ross again, I know I'm not exactly looking forward to returning to my everyday routine and I don't have even half the tasks and responsibilities you do. You're tense and I can tell you're not completely here with me, but I want you to be, I want you to want to be too though. Remember, a problem shared is a problem halved, so please, share your thoughts with me; we're past the point in our relationship where we have to pretend that everything is fine when it's clearly not. As much as I love listening to you talk and I love talking with you about the past and distant future, I want to know your present thoughts too. What are you worried about?" Looking at him with kind, wide eyes, she hoped he understood what she was saying and chose to take her words to heart, because as she had just told him, she could tell he was concerned about something and she wasn't prepared to just ignore his worry.

Closing his eyes for a moment before looking his lovely young wife in the eye, JR sighed heavily before allowing everything to spill out. "It's not one thing darlin', I'm just a little stressed. This vacation has been wonderful, aside from those little annoyances, the ones you insist I should just embrace. Life isn't a vacation though, we're returning home this evening and tomorrow morning I'm going to be right back in the thick of it. I thrive on pressure and power so I know I'm psyching myself into feeling worse now than I actually will come tomorrow, but damn, I am not looking forward to all of the little things that are waiting for me back in Dallas. Daddy is capable and Diane is good, but she's not the vice president, there are some things she will have just taken messages about and I'll have to spend all morning sorting out. Then there's the whole Bobby thing; daddy and I are trying to hire from within the company, that'll be time consuming as it is, but if we don't find anyone it'll be an even bigger mission to find, vet, and train someone completely new. I have a lot to do and they're all little things; I hate little tasks when they're not part of an obvious bigger picture, aside from when I've purposely scattered details in order to throw other people off, which in this case, I haven't. I'll be fine later in the week, but damn, Monday, I am not looking forward to that". Feeling a little better as he verbalised his feelings about work, he worried for a moment that Sue Ellen would think he was weak and stupid, but as he looked at her again, his worries dissipated; she loved him and she was there to support him and it wasn't wrong to take advantage of that support. Additionally, after voicing some of his concerns, they suddenly became less overwhelming and while nothing had actually happened between them, he felt like he was more capable of getting everything done, promptly and properly. He was JR Ewing, not Gary or Bobby Ewing, he was more than capable of running the company on his own and a few days away from the office was not a big deal, not really. Laughing and grinning to himself in a manner he was sure confused his wife if her facial expression was anything to go by, he then moved his arms behind his head and looked at the ceiling; he would get it all done and he would do it well, even if it was only to prove to himself that he could.

To be continued…


	516. Picture-perfect

**Dallas, Texas**

"You have to see this", following her mother-in-law upstairs, Sue Ellen's mind went into overdrive as they walked down the hallway, past her and JR's old room and stopped outside of John Ross' Southfork nursery; Miss Ellie was being cryptic, but she also seemed very happy, so whatever she had to show them was clearly not a bad thing. Watching her put a finger to her lips and then slowly turn the door handle, she looked at JR quizzically for a moment before turning back to the nursery, her confusion turning to surprise and happiness as she studied the picture before her. She had been telling JR for months that his father needed to take more of an interest in John Ross, the grandson he had wanted so badly, but neither she nor JR had actually told Jock to change his attitude or deal with the consequences later in life. Now though, although she couldn't judge too deeply, from what she was seeing, that wasn't as big of an issue anymore as it once had been. She had never thought she would see the day, but clearly she had been wrong, because right in front of her eyes was her father-in-law, Jock Ewing, reclined in the nursery glider with his granddaughter on one side of him and his grandson nestled comfortably on his lap. From what she could tell, all three Ewings were comfortably and happily asleep and seeing that made her genuinely happy.

Looking up at JR, she could tell from his facial expression and the way he looked at her that he was conflicted. He wanted his father to have a good relationship with John Ross and seeing him showing that he loved him was a very nice thing to witness, but she knew the pain of his own childhood and lack of emotional moments in his life had had a lasting negative effect on him and he did wonder what could have been. The Ewing men weren't known for their soft sides, but from the way Jock had spoiled Bobby and the more informal relationship he and Bobby had compared to the relationship he had with JR, it was clear that he wasn't all serious all the time. JR wasn't completely left out, he went hunting and camping with Jock, Bobby and occasionally Ray; he was Jock's equal match and preferred conversation partner when it came to discussing and debating business, economics and politics; and Jock was entrusting him with Ewing Oil for more reasons than because he was the eldest son; but emotionally, they weren't close. She knew JR though, he didn't like to talk about his emotions, at least not with anyone but her, and as long as he held that attitude, little would change. She also knew it touched him deeply to see his own son so close to his grandfather, because although he and John Ross were separate people, the emotional softness his father showed to his son was enough to tell him that he had done well and his father was proud of him.

Gently closing the door, Miss Ellie waved her son and daughter-in-law down the hall so they could speak without disturbing the lovely scene in the nursery. "As you've seen for yourself, a few things have changed around here while you've been away", smiling as she spoke, she thought about the four days that had just passed. She didn't know exactly what Lucy had said to Jock, but it was clear to her that she had said something because a few times this weekend she had caught the two of them talking in hushed tones, and for whatever reason, her husband had finally started doing the things she'd been trying to get him to do for months. She suspected that Lucy had an advantage she didn't; where she was strong, she was also cautious when it came to honouring her marriage, but her granddaughter was different, she was a little girl who wasn't afraid to use her girlish charm on people, and she was a strong young woman that had little time for excuses. She knew she had allowed Jock to brush off her concerns more than once and she wished she hadn't, but at the time it had seemed like the best choice if she didn't want to cause too much friction in her marriage. Lucy on the other hand was in direct contact with a therapist who promoted discussing her thoughts openly, but even before she had ever been in therapy, she hadn't been afraid to say what she thought and argue her way into getting what she wanted. She was very much a Ewing, she was smart and headstrong, though those characteristics weren't always appreciated; she was also just a young girl who wanted a normal family life though, she had felt pain, loss and uncertainty much too early in life and she was interested in manipulating and taking advantage of any opportunity for happiness available to her. Building good relationships with her family was something she wanted to do and it was something she wanted John Ross to have automatically, without having to struggle the way she had and did, so she wasn't going to let silly excuses from her grandfather squash her efforts. Miss Ellie didn't know the exact details of what went on in her granddaughter's life or what had actually occurred between her and Jock, but she was happy something had happened, it was about time.

"Ha, you can say that again. Mama, what happened? Not that I'm not happy, but since when is daddy interested in reading bedtime stories and cuddling? Even with Lucy; I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to the girl in the past, but even I know it's been years since daddy played the hands-on grandfather role". Torn between confusion, happiness and thoughts of what could have been, JR questioned his mother and looked to his wife for any hint of an answer, even though she was just as in the dark as he was. "I don't know the details but I'd say Lucy put her foot down and insisted your father act like the grandfather he is. You know how determined she can be, she's just like you and your daddy, she doesn't like it when her requests are denied; and Sue Ellen, you know how she adores John Ross, I think with you away she saw potential for loneliness but she also saw an opportunity to do something that should've been done a long time ago. If you want to know what happened, I'd ask Lucy; for me personally though, I'm just enjoying seeing my two grandchildren spending time with their grandfather and I'm enjoying seeing my husband finally realising what he's been missing out on". Listening to his mother's answer, JR knew instantly that she had no interest in further dissecting and analysing the events leading up to what he had just witnessed, she was clearly happy with the way things had changed and was happy with simply assuming the reasons why those changes had occurred. For him, he was more curious, but looking at Sue Ellen, he knew that tonight was not the time to be asking lengthy questions and if she did want answers, she would do exactly as his mother had suggested, she would ask Lucy at an appropriate time.

"Whatever the reason, I'm happy to see that everyone is happy. Thank you for looking after John Ross while we were away, it's really a huge weight lifted to know he's happy, healthy and comfortable here in Dallas with his family when we're not here". Happy, but growing wearier by the minute, Sue Ellen responded to her mother-in-law sincerely before looking up at her husband to indicate that she was ready to go home. She was thrilled to see John Ross looking so peaceful, but she had missed him over the past few days and she was tired, it was time to collect her son, return home and go to bed. There would be plenty of time tomorrow to discuss the details of their vacation and the happenings in Dallas while they were gone.

"Mm, thank you mama, and I guess daddy and Lucy too. We're Ewings, we're family; like Sue Ellen said, it's nice to know we can trust our family to care for our son while we're away", pausing for a moment, he hoped his mother knew he meant what he was saying and he wasn't just saying it to soften the blow of his next point. "It's getting late though; it's time for us to collect John Ross and go home", looking at Sue Ellen after he finished speaking to his mother, he was happy and relieved to see her relaxed and happy demeanour and he relaxed himself as she whispered a few words and quietly walked back down the hall to collect John Ross. They weren't home just yet, but as far as he was concerned, tonight, all was well. Tomorrow was a different story, but tomorrow was also a new day; tonight, what mattered most was his family and right now, his family was happy.

To be continued…


	517. Catching Up

**Dallas, Texas**

"Ok, lay it all out for me. How much work did you deflect away from me, how much did you delegate to other people, and how much am I going to have to deal with today?" calling Diane into his office first thing and getting the pleasantries about his mini-vacation out of the way, JR then launched into a series of questions for his secretary to answer. She was a capable woman, but she was a secretary, not the vice president of the company and she couldn't do his job for him while he was away, just like his father could take as much of his workload as he could, but there would always be something he had to attend to when he returned to the office. "Actually, it's not too bad. You were away from Dallas for four days, but you were only out of the office for two. We made sure not to schedule any meetings on Thursday or Friday and I took messages from anyone who called with a general enquiry or meeting request for you and anyone with an urgent matter was directed through to Jock, so I have a stack of messages, but none of them should take too long for you to deal with. Would you like me to read the messages for you now? Jock has requested you meet with him today at two to discuss what you missed and I believe he also wanted to discuss the applications that have been sent through in response to the internal memo you sent out last week. Before that meeting though, I purposely left your schedule clear so you would have time to reacquaint yourself with being back in the office". Listening as Diane explained his schedule, JR relaxed a little; his secretary was right, he had only been out of the office for two days and he had planned for it, so while he had things to catch up on, it wasn't anywhere near as much as he had been worried about. "Ok, good. Start with the most important message and we'll work our way down the list", leaning back in his chair, he waved his hand to indicate to Diane to begin speaking. If they worked together smartly, he might just get everything he needed to do done and maybe, just maybe, he would actually return home to Sue Ellen and John Ross exactly on time at the end of the day.

Across town, at Southfork, Sue Ellen split her attention between recounting her and JR's trip to Colorado and watching John Ross carefully toddling a few steps before falling, looking at her and Miss Ellie for reassurance and then getting up again. He was still wobbly on his feet, but he was growing stronger and stronger by the day and soon enough he would be completely mobile. As far as she could tell, he hadn't changed too much during her and JR's time away from him, however, she had noticed that instead of babbling completely random syllables now, he did seem to be saying things a bit more repetitively now. His speech was still just babbling though and although ba-ba-ba and na-na-na could mean something, she wasn't totally convinced that they actually did, especially since he didn't seem to reserve his words for specific people, objects or events, they were just random sounds; ba-ba could mean banana, or it could mean ball, either was possible. She was relaxed about his development though, he seemed to be very happy and healthy and that was what truly mattered; he didn't have to be a genius or develop too quickly, there was plenty of time for him to grow up; he was still a baby and she wanted to enjoy the stage he was in now.

"Thank you", thanking Teresa as she brought their coffee into the living room, Sue Ellen waited a moment for her to leave before continuing her conversation with Miss Ellie. "As I was saying, it was lovely, just lovely; the scenery was beautiful, the service was for the most part, very high quality, the ski resort was luxurious, and the activities were a lot of fun. I know JR doesn't really like to talk about his time in the military but whatever they were doing overseas he must have had some free time, because he's no novice skier, at least in my eyes. Overall, I had a wonderful time and I think JR did too. I am glad to be home though, I've missed John Ross and the family, and it's nice to be back in our own bed and bedroom again", leaving out the slight negatives about being back in Dallas and returning to everyday life, she took a sip of her coffee and then turned the conversation over to her mother-in-law. "Enough about my vacation though, fill me in on what happened here while JR and I were away. How was John Ross, and how much grandfather-grandchildren bonding actually occurred? Last night was a surprise, a happy surprise, but a surprise nonetheless. Tell me about it?" asking a few questions, she hoped Miss Ellie would elaborate on what she had witnessed the previous night rather than get offended that she was pushing the subject.

"I'm pleased you had a good time, it's very beneficial in marriage to take time to focus on yourselves and enjoy being together as a couple. We had a good time here while you were away too; during the weekdays John Ross and I read stories, played with his toys, sang, went to the park, visited the horses, practiced walking, tried a little bit of drawing, or I suppose, scribbling, and in the afternoons when Lucy was home she would do it all again with him. I have to say, for a little while I was concerned about Lucy, but I think having you and John Ross around has really helped with her loneliness, and having Doctor Lacey in her life has truly helped her to become a more confident, mature young lady. I don't think the Lucy I knew a few years ago had quite as much patience or empathy as she does now, and I don't think the situation with Jock would have unfolded the way it has recently. As I said last night, you will have to ask Lucy if you want to know the details, but I'll tell you what happened from my perspective. I can't guarantee anything is permanent, but it does look promising".

"On Saturday is when I really started to notice a change, at breakfast we were discussing our plans for the day and Lucy mentioned that she was planning on taking Toffee for a ride and suggested it would be nice for Jock and I to bring John Ross down to the stables. I'd already been planning to do that, but you know Jock, sometimes he comes, sometimes he doesn't; today though, he was there and he was trying and I was very proud. He helped John Ross to feed the horses, he showed him how to brush their manes, and showed him the tack room and then they watched one of the ranch hands saddling up a horse and from John Ross' pointing and babbling it seemed like he wanted to go for a ride. Naturally he didn't let him do that, but he did take him in to see Chestnut and he held him while he sat on his back for a few minutes. After that, we came up to the house for lunch and to my complete surprise, though what I'm sure from the look between he and Lucy was somewhat planned, he actually offered to feed John Ross. I have to say, that didn't go too well; you know how much John Ross likes applesauce, and with the new situation he was a bit squirmy and I'd say more of the applesauce ended up on his face, clothes and highchair than did in his mouth. As I keep saying, Lucy had to have been coaching Jock, because although he didn't offer to bathe John Ross, he was still there and he was still interested in spending time with him later when we came back down after getting him all cleaned up. It's not difficult to play with children's toys, but it does take a bit of patience and relaxation, but I do think that once he started, Jock actually quite enjoyed it. He had no problem with building a tower of blocks and watching John Ross knock it over, and he seemed to find it an enjoyable challenge to get John Ross to actually roll his ball back to him instead of looking at it, chewing it and then throwing it off to the side. He's no master of childcare by any means, but like I've been trying to explain to him, no one expects him to be, it's enough for him to be there willingly playing with his grandson; John Ross won't remember the exact activities they did together, but he will form an emotional bond from the time spent together".

"Mhm, and the story time? That was the same thing? Jock was just trying?" nodding, Sue Ellen decided to ignore Miss Ellie's obvious obliviousness to how both she and Jock had neglected to form a true emotional bond with JR for now in order to gather as much information as she possibly could. She wanted to know what she had missed while she was away and interrupting the story now may mean she wasn't informed of important details, or even just details that were of no importance or interest to anyone but her as John Ross' mother. It was also interesting to hear her mother-in-law's thoughts on childrearing, because she agreed with her, but she also took issue with the way she had raised her own children and had to remind herself every so often that it was best to take other people's opinions with a grain of salt, because saying and doing were two different things.

"Yes, we had dinner together then after dinner instead of allowing Jock and Bobby to go off and talk about business, Lucy commented that it'd be nice for Jock to read John Ross a story, and then all of a sudden it was the three of them doing the bed time routine rather than just me and occasionally Lucy. Bobby even commented as they walked upstairs that Jock seemed to be different and that it was nice for him to finally realise how enjoyable it is to not just have a child, but to be involved in their life. That was Saturday, and on Sunday we did it all over again, this time though Bobby was there for a while too, and he and Jock insisted we fetch John Ross his cowboy boots and hat for his trip down to see the horses. Inevitably, by the end of a weekend of activity they were all exhausted and as you saw yourself last night, by the time John Ross' bedtime came, it was a welcome rest for both Jock and Lucy too. They had been asleep for a couple of hours by the time you and JR arrived to collect John Ross".

Listening to Miss Ellie finish speaking, Sue Ellen was satisfied that she had received an accurate recount of the past few days and she was pleased to hear that despite Lucy being there nudging Jock every step of the way, he did seem to have actually enjoyed his time with his grandson. One thing was still weighing on her mind though and she knew that in this situation it was best to just say what she was thinking, because from previous experience, holding her tongue with the intention of finding a more appropriate moment to speak rarely worked out and she never really received the answers she was looking for. "Thank you for recounting all of that for me. It sounds like you all had a lovely few days, I'm not unrealistic though, I know it's hard work to look after a child fulltime, so thank you all for giving up your time and energy to care for John Ross". Smiling and taking another sip of her coffee, she allowed Miss Ellie to nod and respond as expected, with a few comments about how it wasn't a bother at all and they all loved having John Ross to stay. As the predicted exchange between them came to a close though, she decided it was now or never to say what was on her mind, "Miss Ellie? I think Jock is on his way to becoming a much loved grandfather, he already is in Lucy's life, but I am curious, he raised three sons, surely none of this is new to him? He must know something about children. I don't understand why it took him so long to even try with John Ross, and please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't understand why you could see his aloofness with John Ross, but from the accounts I've heard, his lack of emotional bond with JR was never really a topic of concern when JR was young? JR and John Ross are the two most important men in my life and I truly just want the best for them, and I think for everyone's sake, it helps to understand these things". Looking at her mother-in-law with wide, honest eyes, she hoped she understood that she was being sincere and honestly just trying to understand rather than being catty and judgemental. It was true, she was a little bit judgemental of JR's parents parenting skills, but before she passed any true judgement, she wanted a more well-rounded understanding of the situation circumstances that had shaped her husband into the man he was today.

To be continued…


	518. More Questions Than Answers

**Dallas, Texas**

"Oh Sue Ellen…" feeling her mood deflate as her daughter-in-law spoke, Ellie Ewing stayed silent for a moment while she considered the enormity of Sue Ellen's accusations. Was she right? Had her and Jock's actions truly shaped JR into the man he was today? More importantly, had she neglected to take notice and then take action when she did notice that her eldest son's emotional needs weren't being met? She wasn't so sure that that had happened, but she had to say something, Sue Ellen was trying to engage her in an honest conversation and after everything they had just discussed about Jock and John Ross, it would be rude to brush off her questions and emotions as if they didn't exist or weren't important.

Taking a deep breath, she began to speak, "it's hard to explain and even harder to justify, but please, you have to understand that neither Jock nor I set out to be aloof or emotionally distant, it just happened, and I think by the time I personally realised it, it was too late". Pausing for a moment again, she thought back to when her eldest son was an only child, and then later when Gary arrived; even in her own mind she couldn't pretend that something hadn't happened at that point in time, but it sounded awful to admit that whatever had happened had continued and grown until it was out of control. "JR was my baby, he was my life for a few short years; he was so quiet and so charming, but also so very shy. When I took him shopping, he held tightly on to my skirts and unlike John Ross, he almost always shied away when people complimented him. He didn't like strangers attention, he didn't like being left alone, and he didn't even really like other children. I don't know what he'd think now, but he was a mama's boy when he was young. I think Jock scared him at first, he's gruff, I'm sure you understand that, so I realise now that I made a mistake in handing him over to Jock so soon, but at the time it didn't seem like such a bad idea. I married Jock when I was young, we had JR when I was young, and soon enough, JR wasn't our only son. When Gary came along, Jock just took over raising JR and regretfully, I allowed him to. It didn't ring alarm bells with me when he said he would make our son a 'man's man'; I was a blissfully happy and exhausted new mother again and you have to remember, it was a different time. My daddy, my brother, and Jock, they were all strong men. Digger, well, he was strong in his own way, but not the way that mattered economically or socially. Being a man's man was expected, especially with Jock, and especially since JR was our first son and his namesake. JR was just a small child when I stopped interfering in his life, I gave him up too soon, I should have held onto him a little longer".

"Hindsight is a strange thing though, by definition it doesn't occur until after an event, and by that time, what's the point? You can't change the past and it's tough to change the future, especially when the future is so set in stone. Jock had certain ideas and hopes for his sons and it'd be a cold day in hell before he gave up on those ideas without a fight; in this case though, there was no fight, I allowed it to happen and I need you to know that I do regret it now. JR was still young when I saw it happening, but I never realised just how damaging it was for him that I all but handed over parental responsibility for him until much later on and by that time it was too late to bring our relationship back to where it had been before. I suppose subconsciously my treatment of Gary and later Bobby was a reaction and early defence to how Jock liked to parent, but even now I can't be sure. I do know that by the time Bobby was born JR was too old to be mama's little boy again, and he was too distant to want to; at the same time too though, I think it took Jock that amount of time to realise how enjoyable children were just as children and not as empty vessels".

"You asked about Jock's knowledge of children and their needs and that's it, when JR was a baby he was still was extremely busy building Ewing Oil and when he was at home he still wasn't an equal caregiver, it was just how men were back then. Later, after Gary was born, JR was old enough to walk, talk and follow directions and that's when his indoctrination really began. I held on to Gary for as long as I could and since Jock was so busy training his firstborn to run the family business, he didn't mind so much. Then Bobby came along and since both JR and Gary were old enough to be a little bit independent, it was a freer and more relaxed time for me and for Jock too. He spent all day at work and a great deal of his free time coaching JR, but he had also faced the years Bobby was approaching more than once and he was more relaxed about what he needed and wanted Bobby's future to look like. By the time Bobby was able to walk and talk too, JR and Gary were already seasoned hunters, fishers and campers and while Bobby wasn't nearly as mature or probably ready to face the things they did out in the woods, he was taken along for the ride anyway. Then later Gary began to assert some of his opinions and he stopped spending so much time with Jock, so that left JR and Bobby to bond with Jock, and bond they did. You weren't here in the old days; JR and Bobby had very different childhoods, but I believe they do share an equal bond with their father in relation to personal relationships; Jock took them out on trips together, he never just brought one or the other. They are different though, Bobby is more interested in hunting, fishing and camping than JR is, and JR is more interested in business, economics and politics than Bobby is, so naturally the way they interact with Jock is different. Different doesn't mean better or worse though, it's just different. I imagine Bobby could only dream of being allowed in on some of the secret conversations and understandings Jock and JR have with each other, so JR isn't the only one who missed out on a little piece of Jock and he's not the only one that finds Jock distant sometimes".

Although she had considered her response before she began to speak, Ellie Ewing was still surprised by her words as they came out of her mouth and as they did, she stopped herself suddenly. In acknowledging that Bobby missed out on something with Jock, she was also acknowledging that her past thoughts regarding her and Jock finally getting things 'right' with Bobby may not actually be true. In her mind it had made sense that if Jock had taken an approach that was too extreme with JR, and if his statements about her coddling of Gary were true, then the middle ground they'd found when raising Bobby, their third son, was just right, but now she wasn't so sure. Sue Ellen wanted answers and she had thought she had them, but thinking about them before speaking them, she was now having to reconsider more than just what she would say to answer Sue Ellen, now she was reconsidering her entire approach to parenting. It was confusing, she didn't understand where she had gone so far wrong that she had one son whose wife seemed to believe had been greatly damaged by her and Jock's parenting. She had one son she adored but who couldn't stand to live in the same city as his family, and she had one son that she had previously worried little about but she was now not so sure was actually so well-adjusted in reality. Taking a long pause, she let out a small inaudible sigh as she collected her thoughts and considered where to go to from here.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: They will continue speaking in the next chapter, I just cut this one in half for length. Some of the dialogue is inspired by what was said on the show. Thank you for your continued reading and reviews :)**


	519. Maternal Answers

**Dallas, Texas**

Observing Miss Ellie's body language as she spoke, Sue Ellen could tell she was uncomfortable with some of the thoughts she was having, however, unlike Jock and JR, she wasn't simply shying away and cutting the conversation short because things became a bit tense. She hadn't intended for her mother-in-law to become so emotionally affected, though she couldn't say she wasn't a little pleased by the turn of events. All adults had been children at some point and in many ways JR was still a child, he needed parents who understood how much their love meant to their children and who were mature enough people to admit when they had been wrong and ask what they could do in the future to better their relationship. Watching as Miss Ellie slowly took a drink of her coffee and then took a deep breath, she was pleased when she began to speak and explain her thoughts and actions a little more; nobody was perfect, but being able to talk about imperfection was necessary for healing and future growth.

"Look, Sue Ellen, I don't know what else to say. I acknowledge that Jock and I made mistakes and you have no idea how much I wish I had known back then what I know now, but I can't change the past and I can't undo the consequences of the past. You and JR are lucky, you've had a lot of time to think and plan you're very conscious of how your present affects the future, but I wasn't that lucky and as I just said, hindsight is a funny thing, it only occurs after an event. Do I wish Gary were here in Dallas like JR and Bobby are? Yes, I do, and I regret every day that I didn't do enough to keep him here when it was clear he was about to leave, but even before that, I regret whatever aspect of my parenting meant he grew up without enough resilience to withstand the hard times he faced as Jock Ewing's son and as Lucy Ewing's father. With Bobby, I regret not paying enough attention to his challenges these past couple of years, because I do think things could have turned around the way they have now a lot sooner if Jock and I hadn't been so oblivious to Bobby's true wants. I do hope Bobby is happy now, not just in his business life but in his personal life too. Then there's JR, like I said, JR was the son I gave up too soon, and like I said, John Ross is very lucky to have you and JR as parents, because you're so conscious of how you're parenting him. I shouldn't have allowed Jock to solely parent JR and I do regret not making time for my little boy when he was still a little boy, because by the time he was a teenager and then a young man, it was too late to really regain the lost closeness we'd had".

She hadn't realised until it was too late, but her actions all those years ago had established the distant and confusing relationship she and JR still had with each other. He had to have known she loved him and still loved him very much, because she wasn't an evil woman, but to a young child, knowing that a parent's love existed, but not feeling it, had to be a very confusing and damaging thing. Whatever close relationship had existed between them in the past had ceased when she had naively handed him off to his father to raise and they'd moved into a new territory from that point. They were polite and generally acquainted with each other, but regretfully, they weren't close, not the way she and Gary had been when he was growing up, or even the way she and Bobby had been and were coming back to now. Really, it was only a few years ago, just before he had started dating Sue Ellen that she had begun to try to reinsert herself in his life, though she wondered now whether her motivations back then had been as pure as she had tried to pretend. She had judged a lot of his life choices and tried to push him toward 'the right path' more than she had just accepted him as he was and made an effort to get to know him after years of distance.

"You're JR's wife, you know him and I'm sure he's shared more with you than he has me, and I had never really thought about it before now, but I imagine it must have been very difficult for him to transition from being an only child to a big brother and focused heir. Do you think JR would speak to me about this like we are now? I want to apologise for the emotionally confusion I must've caused him when I began to treat Gary the way I used to treat him. I never saw it before and I suppose I'll never have a full picture, but I can see more clearly now where I should have stepped in, or in an ideal world, never stepped out. Jock's distance with John Ross has been a concern for me for some time, I saw it and I told him so, but I was never strong enough to truly have a serious discussion about how what occurs now affects the future. The way Jock was with John Ross doesn't reflect the way he was with any of our sons, because even with Gary up until they began to clash, Jock paid attention; there are things I wish I had noticed in our sons' lives like I noticed with John Ross though. I wish I could change the past and change how the present looks, but I can't and we have to accept that and I do think it helps to remember the positive things that we have".

"I can't speak for Jock and his relationship with JR when he was a child, he'll have to do that himself, but I do think I understand some things about him. Jock is a perfectionist, he has high expectations for himself and for those around him and unfortunately for JR, it's not easy being the eldest and first person to deal with those expectations. Unfortunately too though it's only from experience that we learn, so JR was the one who may have received treatment we wouldn't repeat later with our other sons, and it's easy to slip back into old habits when you've been out of practice for a while. I think this weekend with John Ross is exactly what Jock needed to spur his memories of Bobby and Lucy's childhoods and help him to realise that children aren't all about expectations and achievements, sometimes they are just enjoyable. I think Jock was being truthful when he made the excuse regarding John Ross' age though; he didn't really start spending time with our sons until they could walk and talk, before then it was a quick hold, some knee bouncing and a hug before bed, but like I said before, times were different and nobody thought anything of it. I have no excuse for my behaviour toward JR, looking back at my actions I know I didn't transition him well and I can't even begin to explain what was going on in my head when I figured that since he and Jock were spending time together, I wasn't needed as much. I can't explain why I thought that way for years later either, but I did, and I do regret thinking that way. JR and I have had very few personal moments in our lives and those that we have had were mostly related to his relationship with you, and thinking about it now, I regret that too. As I keep saying, none of this occurred to me before and I don't know why, so thank you for asking me and I'm sorry I can't give you a better answer, I simply don't know myself".

Listening to her mother-in-law speaking, Sue Ellen could feel her sadness and confusion and she truly did feel a bit sorry for her. She had originally believed that there had to have been some conscious decision by Jock and Miss Ellie to divide their love and attention between their sons as they had, but in speaking to her, it appeared that it was much more complicated than that. She was still looking for answers as to how it had seemed logical for Miss Ellie to swap caregiving of one son for another, without withdrawal or regret. She was still looking for answers as to how it had been so easy and natural for Miss Ellie to just hand over control of her first baby, the little boy she had done everything for and who had relied on her for everything. How was it not an equally horrific experience for her as it was for JR being ripped away from her love and care? How did she justify not including him in everything when he was at home and not shadowing Jock at work or out on the ranch? She was still looking for any information she could find regarding Jock and what had been going through his mind at the time of 'receiving' JR as his responsibility, and how he decided on what JR would and wouldn't learn and at what age he was old enough to do so. To her, it appeared that handing JR over at such a young age and in such a messy fashion had done a lot of harm and little good and she was still shocked by how little recognition JR's parents had had and still had with John Ross before other people pointed it out to them. She still had a lot of questions she had only received vague answers to, but Miss Ellie did seem to be trying and she did believe that her emotional, confused response was true and not an act. Smiling kindly and nodding, she stayed silent for a few moments before quietly whispering, "thank you", to her mother-in-law, she didn't have all of the information she had wanted, but she had enough and that was something.

To be continued…


	520. Family Man

**Dallas, Texas**

Stepping onto the open porch that was supported by six large, square, white pillars, JR immediately understood why Sue Ellen and John Ross weren't waiting at the door for him; it was very likely that she hadn't even heard him because she was occupied with something much more important than greeting him upon his arrival home after work. Unlocking the front door and walking inside, he hung his hat on the coatrack and placed his attaché case down on the floor before following the sounds of his son's distress, heading upstairs to the nursery. Entering the colourful, cosy bedroom, he wasn't at all surprised to find his wife looking stressed and distressed, his son screaming his little lungs out, and Mrs Smith looking calm and cool but not actually having much success transferring her attitude to John Ross. He didn't know what had happened to upset John Ross so much, but instinctually he knew he had to at least try to fix the situation, so walking over, he smiled at Sue Ellen and Mrs Smith before murmuring a few words and lifting his son out of the baby nurse's arms.

Holding John Ross at an arm's length facing him, he stayed still for a few moments in order to allow his son to see whose arms he had been transferred to, and as soon as he saw that he recognized him, he relaxed his arms a little and brought him closer to him. Although he was still crying, it wasn't quite as loud and frantic as it had been a moment ago and going with the assumption that the change of situation was distracting him, he continued with his actions, carrying him around the room as he spoke using a quiet, even tone. "Hey son, what's wrong? Why are you crying? I know it's not because mama or Mrs Smith weren't paying attention to you, and you smell just fine, so what is it?" Pausing for a few seconds to allow John Ross time to respond, even though he didn't expect him to do much but continue sobbing and whining because he wasn't really a talker yet, JR noted that he was rubbing his eyes before accepting his sounds as a reply and continuing their conversation. "Oh? You want daddy's attention. Is that it? If so, you're in luck because I'm here and I have a story for you if you'll listen. Would you like that?" he was unsure most of the time whether John Ross ever truly understood what he was saying, however, he was more confident now that he did because his whines and whimpers were becoming quieter and less frequent as he spoke, especially when he heard his tone change to indicate he was asking a question. Picking a soft brown teddy bear up off the rocking chair and handing it to John Ross, he sat down slowly, positioned his son on his lap so he was looking up at him and then began speaking again using the same soft tone he had been using earlier, "this story is about a baby bear…"

Listening to her husband patiently and lovingly tell a slightly mixed up version of the Goldilocks story, Sue Ellen visibly relaxed as John Ross' cries lessened and eventually stopped, and her heart swelled with pride and happiness as she watched the next few minutes playing out. She was fairly sure John Ross was overtired from the busyness of the past few days and not having settled for his afternoon nap earlier and she was pleased that if she couldn't help him right now, at least JR could, and as John Ross' eyes drooped and eventually closed, she felt a great sense of relief. It was a privilege for her to be able to spend all day with their son, so she was never resentful of the time and attention JR gave him when he came home at the end of the day, and she tried hard not to feel bothered when he so easily did something she was unable to. In this situation, although she had been stressed and upset about not having calmed John Ross herself earlier, her pride and happiness at seeing JR do so overruled any potential negative feelings she may have had. It was lovely to see that despite JR having had a less than ideal childhood himself, he was a wonderful father and a good man. She needed to talk to him about her conversation with Miss Ellie because he deserved to know and he deserved a chance to move forward now that she knew there was a possibility of healing the wounds, but that conversation could wait until later. Right now it was time to make sure he understood how much she loved and appreciated his relationship with John Ross, and then it would be time to focus on how his first day back at work had gone. Tonight though, she definitely wanted to settle down on the couch and talk with him and maybe do a little more than talking, though she knew that whether that happened depended on how angry or emotional he became after their conversation about his childhood. It was complicated; she could see potential for a renewed positive relationship, but before that could happen there were a lot of hard conversations that had to be had and old memories that would have to be relived. They would likely need Doctor Williams' help mediating the situation if JR and his parents ever did sit down to talk about the past, but she hoped that eventually it would all be worth it.

Placing John Ross down gently in his crib, JR looked up at Sue Ellen and smiled as he noticed the way she was staring at him and John Ross; she loved him, that much was obvious, but there was something more, she looked proud and emotional and that truly made him happy. After a long period of not being anyone's number one priority or favourite person, he was finally at a point in his life where he was and it felt fantastic. Motioning to his wife that John Ross was sound asleep, he then took her hand and led her out into the hall, and as he left the room, he gave Mrs Smith a nod of appreciation. The baby nurse was a qualified woman who didn't lose her cool easily, but she wasn't a magician and he understood that with children sometimes nothing helped, so he didn't blame her for the situation he had come home to. Right now his family was his priority though and since John Ross was settled and asleep, that meant it was time for him and Sue Ellen to talk and relax together. He had had had a long day and he wanted to tell her all about it, but from the way she had looked when he'd first entered the nursery, he had a feeling that they might need to discuss her day first, otherwise she'd be completely distracted. Wrapping his arm around her waist and guiding her downstairs, he smiled to himself as she relaxed into him, and as they reached the bottom of the stairs, he was completely ready when she finally stopped them from walking and just moved to bury her face in his chest as she hugged him silently. Stroking her hair gently for a little while, he knew she was grateful for his gentleness and understanding, because after a couple of minutes she pulled away, looked up at him, smiled, and kissed him softly, whispering, "thank you" as she did so. Nodding and kissing her back, he then wrapped his arm around her waist again and guided them into the living room, "you're welcome darlin'. Now, let's go and get a drink, I'm sure we could both use one".

To be continued…


	521. Unwinding

**Dallas, Texas**

"It sounds to me like Ewing Oil has a lot of capable employees, but it also sounds like you're not convinced. So tell me, what's the issue, and where do you go from here?" taking a sip of her red wine, Sue Ellen relaxed back into the couch as she waited for JR to respond. He had done an excellent job calming her down earlier and he had been right, a drink to take the edge off the long day was exactly what she needed. She never wanted to become like her father had been, dependent on alcohol for sanity, and driven to insanity by the very same thing, but she didn't see anything wrong with enjoying a drink with her husband at the end of the day. There had been a few times in the past where she'd drowned her sorrows, the biggest two being when she'd seen JR and Julie together, clearly after an afternoon romp, and as well in the days following her Miss America pageant loss; overall though, she knew alcohol didn't solve her problems so it wasn't worth trying to change that reality. A few drinks with friends and family was different though, it was social and enjoyable and it was the furthest thing from dependency like her father had had, and with that in mind, she allowed herself to enjoy the relaxing, warming effects of her wine.

She knew JR liked having someone to vent his frustrations to or simply just having someone who would listen to him and she was happy to be that person. He was a smart man and he was capable of making his own informed decisions, so he didn't _need_ her input to get himself out of the situations he found himself in, and he didn't like her to stress herself out about his problems like she had done in the early days of their marriage. Sometimes it was a little hard for her to accept that he was so independent and he didn't rely on her the way she did him, however, she understood why things were the way they were. JR was his own man because of how he was raised and because having a need to be independent and powerful was just who he was. She was different, she was able to make decisions herself and in the past few years had grown more sure of her own likes and dislikes, but she was still just a bit more dependent on other people than he was. History had proven that it wasn't good for anyone if she got too deeply involved in his problems, because in trying to assist him, she often got too personally involved and ended up stressing herself out about things that truly weren't her responsibility. JR was reasonable though, and she was better equipped now than she had been in the past, so he did still tell her about his problems and ask for her opinions on certain topics, and she was able to give him a few thoughts without spending her entire day stressing about issues she didn't even know the half of. They had always made a good team, but now that they had matured together and had a better understanding of each other's strengths and weaknesses and their joint strengths and weaknesses, they made an even better team.

"We do. Ewing Oil only hires the best, but that's an issue when it comes to promoting one of our existing staff; I don't want to lose any of the men we have placed very specifically in the positions they're currently in. I'll be honest too, Bobby's job isn't quite as easy as I might have made it sound in the past, but it's also not near as technical as some of the things the rest of our employees do and I can't justify removing one of our current skilled workers just to fill the vacancy Bobby is creating. I think we're going to have to open applications to the public, through an agency of course, I don't have time to sort through all of the unqualified applicants I'm sure we'll have and I'd rather our internal HR department didn't spend hours doing that either, they're already busy enough as it is. If I had it my way we wouldn't put up with the perpetual complainers, but Harve is always telling me it's better to settle small disputes than waste our time and money legally defending ourselves when an employee decides to sue us for treating them unfairly. Back to what I was saying though, there isn't really an issue with recruiting, I'm more concerned about the time constraints we're working under; I'm busy, daddy is busy, hell, even Bobby is busy, now isn't really an ideal time to spend days interviewing and then weeks training Bobby's replacement, but it has to be done, so ignore me". Finishing his drink as he finished speaking, JR placed his glass on the coffee table in front of him. He had had a long day and he hadn't exactly returned to a calm home, but things were beginning to look up; a drink always helped him relax and whether he was venting his frustrations or just recounting his day, it always felt good to get his feelings out in the open. Sue Ellen didn't need to say anything, in fact, there was little she really could say, he hadn't exactly asked her any questions or stated his intentions as if he were looking for her input, for him, just knowing she was listening and she wanted to support him was enough. Naturally though, she did have something to say, even if it was just a general, supportive, "everybody has their strengths and in this situation you're playing to those strengths, whether it be in leaving your current employees where they are, or hiring recruitment experts to send you the best applicants, everyone has a role and everyone is performing that role". She was right, and she hadn't said anything profound, but he did feel better having spoken to her about it.

"Mr and Mrs Ewing? Your dinner is ready to be served now", turning around as Francisca appeared in the doorway, Sue Ellen smiled to herself happily as JR stood, held his hand out, and then escorted her into the dining room. "Enough about my day though darlin'; tell me about your day. What did you and John Ross get up to today? Did you speak to Lucy or mama? I didn't get any real answers from daddy about that whole situation last night, but he did say he wants us to come over for dinner sometime this week and he wants us to resume attending Sunday family events more regularly". Listening to JR's words, she was filled with a mixture of dread and happiness; she had answers to his questions and they weren't bad answers, but she was a little nervous about how she would explain the result of her conversation with Miss Ellie. As JR had asked her two easier questions to begin with before she would ever need to explain how her conversation about his childhood had occurred though, she swallowed her nervousness, smiled, and began to speak as they walked into the dining room, sat down, and began eating.

To be continued…


	522. Misperception

**Dallas, Texas**

"…so it sounds like what your mama was saying last night is correct, and I don't see why it wouldn't be. Lucy adores John Ross and when you really get to know her she's a very sensitive girl, so I don't doubt that she noticed your daddy's lack of involvement just like the rest of us did, she was just bold enough to say something, and it worked. I'm sure you probably have a better idea of your daddy's thoughts than I do, but it sounds like he didn't want to fail at being a grandfather so he just didn't even try; Lucy coached him through it though and I think he's finally begun to realise making any effort better than making none at all. Nobody gets everything right at first, but it's not like John Ross is judging anyone, he just likes it when you show him positive attention and he's not reserved with his feelings like the rest of us are, if you show him love, he will return that love, I think Jock's now realised that. I imagine that's what the dinner invitation and request for more weekend visits is about, he's realised that he enjoys not just the way it sounds to say he has a big, happy family, but the way it feels too. With that in mind, I'm feeling more confident about those visits now than I usually would be, especially after some of the disagreements I've had with your daddy before. As long as he sticks to his role as a grandfather and doesn't try to weasel his way in and pretend he has parental rights to tell us how to raise our son, and as long as he doesn't try to push John Ross the way he did you, then I'm supportive of this change. I want John Ross to have a good relationship with his grandparents and I know your mama wants that too, but so far she's the only one whose approach to making that happen I actually support. She made mistakes with her children, she admits that, but she regrets them and I honestly believe she wants the best for John Ross now and if she could go back and change the past, she would. I trust your mama and I love your mama and if your daddy and my mother made even half the effort Miss Ellie does then I think John Ross would truly have the absolute best of everything. Life is what it is though and I'm not interested in trying to change my mother anymore, I am interested in encouraging John Ross to bond with the family he has here in Dallas though and for the first time in a while I feel very positive about that".

Nodding as he listened to Sue Ellen explaining much the same information as his mother had explained the previous evening and what he already knew from experience, JR's ears pricked up as she began to speak about his mother. He knew she loved his mother and at times in the past she had been her only real support, but he hadn't realised how deeply connected they were and he had no idea at what point in their relationship they had begun to discuss her mistakes and regrets. What he did know was that the idea of his mother and wife discussing parenting mistakes and regrets made him a little uncomfortable; it wasn't like discussing parenting with Doctor Williams in that Sue Ellen received unbiased feedback, with his mother he was sure whenever she responded to Sue Ellen's concerns, she was reflecting on what could've been with Gary. To him, at this point in his life, it seemed unbelievable that it would be any other way; his mother had dropped most involvement and interest in his life the moment Gary had appeared and in the decade since Gary had been away she hadn't exactly tried to reconnect with him. Sure, there had been a couple of times they had had honest, caring conversations regarding his relationship with Sue Ellen, and he didn't hate her, but they weren't close and he highly doubted she had even thought about their relationship enough to have regrets about it.

Sitting quietly eating his dinner as he considered his wife's words, JR finally spoke just as he could see Sue Ellen beginning to get antsy, "mm, I agree. It's good for John Ross to have family in his life, but only if that family have his best interests at heart". If he never had to deal with Patricia Shepard again it would still be too soon, but too with his father, he understood where Sue Ellen was coming from and he had no intention of allowing him to control how John Ross was raised now just because he had taken an interest in him. "I'm afraid I don't quite understand why you're so supportive of mama though. Don't get me wrong, I love my mama too, and I see it too, she loves John Ross and she loves being a grandmother again, but I don't understand why her mistakes with Gary would have anything to do with John Ross. Is she afraid of coddling John Ross like she did Gary? If she is, I don't think she needs to be, just like daddy, she's not his mother, she doesn't have to do anything but act like a grandmother; and if that's not it, then what is it? You said she has regrets and she would change things if she could, but where and how? She worships Gary, I highly doubt she sees anything wrong with the way she parented him, other than that she couldn't keep him here I suppose; again though, I don't see why that would affect her relationship with John Ross". Voicing a few of his confused thoughts, he grew even more puzzled as Sue Ellen crinkled her forehead and grew silent; she was either hiding something from him or he was missing a huge, obvious point. Watching her sit silently for a moment and then take a drink, he wasn't too surprised when she did eventually speak, though he would be lying if he said her words didn't fill him with dread; "ehm, I think we need to talk". Of course they needed to talk, the talk they were having now had left him with more questions than he had initially had and he was in no mental place to just drop the conversation and move on to other activities. "We're talking now… what is it you wanted to discuss? Before that though, can you please answer my questions, because I am thoroughly confused"; finishing his final bite of food, he placed his knife and fork next to each other, folded his napkin and took a drink, he didn't know what Sue Ellen was getting at right now, but something told him he might need another drink later.

To be continued…


	523. Forgive and Forget?

**Dallas, Texas**

Tightening his grip on his glass, JR listened as Sue Ellen spoke. After saying they needed to talk and indicating she had finished her dinner, she had suggested moving back into the living room for another drink, and while that drink was satisfying to his taste buds, it was doing nothing to calm his nerves. He didn't want to be so affected by his feelings about his parents, but he couldn't deny or control that he was, and with Sue Ellen's brief indication that his mother hadn't been referring solely to Gary when she had spoken about her parenting regrets, his mind and heart were now racing.

"…so we were talking and she was so wrapped up in how much Jock had changed and how obvious it all was to her and to him after a while that the way he was treating John Ross wasn't right. It all just seemed so strange to me, so I asked, and she went silent, and then she gave me an answer, an honest answer. Please, don't think I was trying to create drama or stick my nose in where I don't belong, because I wasn't; you know just how painful and unconventional my childhood was and you know that I empathise with you very deeply. I love you and I want to help you by understanding you and as part of that, I think I should try to make an effort to try to understand the people around you. So when your mama made it sound like it was obvious to her that Jock was being aloof with John Ross, I felt compelled to ask why she didn't notice it when it was you in that position. I'm not trying to be judgemental, in fact, that's the last thing I want to be; I want to help you, I want to be the one lean on and can be open and honest with about your feelings. We've been through too much for you to deny now that your relationship with your parents growing up wasn't what you wanted and didn't always make you feel loved. You have always deserved to have parents who love you and show you they love you, it's not something you have to earn and it's not right that you spent so many years trying desperately to do everything you could just to be noticed. You know that, I know that, and I think your mama knows that now too".

"That brings me back to what you were just asking, your mama wasn't talking solely about her regrets with Gary, she was talking about you too. She knows she messed up by stepping back from parenting you and handing you over to Jock when you were so young; she knows she did a terrible job explaining to you why that happened or showing you that she wasn't abandoning you, and she knows her actions damaged the relationship you two have with each other. She knows those things now and I honestly believe she genuinely regrets her actions during that time, but I think that regret has taken a long time to occur because she really had no idea how much it affected you until much later in life. I didn't get any answers from her as to why it didn't seem to bother her that one day you were hers and the next day you were thrust into Jock's control, never to be treated the same gentle, loving way again. I also didn't get any answers from her about why she didn't realise how badly she had messed up after Bobby was born and she and Jock figured out an equal, loving, supportive method of parenting him, and why it didn't occur to her to at least try to regain your trust and love. I did feel some emotion and recognition of mistakes though, and I think that's important".

"Your parents made mistakes, a lot of them, and it took them much too long to recognize and acknowledge those mistakes, and I understand that from your position, nothing is different, because no one is making any extra effort with you, but please, try and see how this is progress. If your daddy can recognize that John Ross needs love and positive attention and that a real connection can be built through play and tender moments, I think he's one step closer to realising his mistakes with you. Likewise, if your mama can recognize that the way she and Jock combined parenting responsibilities with Bobby turned him into a well-rounded person, and her actions toward you weren't fair, right or kind, and she's genuinely upset and ashamed about how long it took her to realise how much everything she did affected you, then I think that's progress. I think you need to talk to her, but I know that's not going to be easy or probably not very enjoyable either, and I know it doesn't seem fair that you have to be the one to say something first, because she's the one who needs to apologise, but please, keep an open mind. She might very well call you and ask you to talk, but she might not, she might still be in denial about her actions and how much they impacted you, or she might just be too ashamed to admit it to you. Whatever happens next though, I think we need to remember what Doctor Williams is always saying, it's not always easy to be the bigger person or to make the first move, but somebody has to do it, otherwise things are unlikely to change".

Downing the remaining contents of his glass as Sue Ellen finished speaking, JR remained silent as he comprehended everything she had just told him. "Screw what the doc says, I'm telling you now, I will not be the one to make the first move", breaking the silence, he spoke in a low, gruff voice. "If my mama wants to admit her failures, she's more than welcome to, but I don't have to listen and I don't have to forgive her, not if I don't believe her, which I'm sorry, but right now, I don't. You said it yourself, she had no idea how her actions affected me, so spare me the crap about her regretting her actions. You might empathise with me, but that doesn't change the fact that you weren't there when I was growing up and you weren't there during the years after Gary left. She may have been distracted while he was here, but she sure as hell didn't make any effort to get to know me again after he left, not even when Bobby was away at college and I was the only Ewing son living at Southfork. That's recent history and combined with what you admitted yourself you didn't get any answers regarding, I just do not believe that she's honestly that emotional or regretful about how she has treated me in the past and how that treatment has affected our relationship. Maybe I need to hear it from her, you seem to be convinced after speaking to her, but I sure as hell am not, and I'm sorry, but I have no desire to open myself up to more criticism, disappointment, or worse, indifference. I've had a lifetime of being third best and I'm not about to willingly cast myself into the spotlight for more of that attention". Getting up, he walked slowly over to the drinks cart, standing motionless, staring down at the bottles and glasses for a moment once he reached it before pouring himself another drink and downing it in one go. Standing silently for a few more moments, he then filled his glass again before turning and slowly walking back over to the couch. He didn't know what more he could say, but he knew his wife and he knew it would be a huge mistake and create a problem he didn't need right now if he simply walked out of the room, ending their conversation, even if that was what he wanted to do.

To be continued…


	524. Enigma

**Dallas, Texas**

"It's quiet around here", stating an obvious observation as he ate his dinner, Jock Ewing mistook the sadness in his wife's eyes as being related to the loss of the presence of their vibrant grandson rather than what it actually was, an expression of her inner turmoil. It was quiet, Lucy had finished recapping her day at school, Ellie had asked her usual set of questions, and Bobby was out somewhere for the evening and for whatever reason, no one seemed to be making any conversation post their usual dinner discussions. He didn't want to sound soft by saying he missed John Ross' babbling and giggling, and he didn't feel like having Ellie reprimand him again for inferring they never should've allowed JR and Sue Ellen to leave Southfork in the first place, nor did he feel like hearing again about how much time he had wasted, so he stayed quiet.

"It is quiet, it's because John Ross isn't here and nobody ever seems as interested in my stories as they do in watching him eat, so I try to only tell you the interesting things about my day. If you really want something to listen to though, I'm more than happy to provide some content; I have stories, or I could pretend to be John Ross' age again. Alternatively, since you're not really into interactive theatre, you could always tell Bobby he has to be home for dinner, preferably with a wife and maybe another baby". Listening as his granddaughter broke the silence, Jock found himself almost regretting allowing the conversation to fall into a lull; Lucy always had some ridiculous comment to make, though as she continued speaking, he did find himself agreeing with her slightly. It only took him a second to realise though that she wasn't exactly being serious, about anything. From what he could tell, she wasn't upset by the attention John Ross received, in fact, she missed him just like the rest of the family, she just had a strange sense of humour, he accepted it and most of the time he enjoyed it, he liked that she wasn't always brooding like her father had. Her second point was the one that really caught his attention though; Bobby was still a young man, he had a while before he would receive the same pressure to settle down as JR had, but he did secretly hope that it wouldn't come to that and he would choose to marry and have a child sooner rather than later. From what he could tell from Lucy's facial expression though, she wasn't quite as serious as he was; she loved John Ross and she loved Bobby, but afternoons with John Ross, Sue Ellen, and Ellie, and occasional evenings and weekends with he and Bobby were enough to satisfy her familial needs for now. Everyone would love and welcome another baby and it would be wonderful to have another child at Southfork, especially since Bobby's children would actually live in the Ewing family home, but it was clear from both Lucy and Ellie's reactions that he was the only one seriously considering her brief joking suggestion. He wouldn't push it, for now he was happy with John Ross and Lucy, even when she started talking about inane things; family meant everything, though it would be nice if every once in a while the family all actually spent some time together; he was working on that though and he was sure things were beginning to turn again.

"Oh Lucy, you know that's not true, we love you just as much as we love John Ross. You two are different ages though, you have different needs and talents and it's not a competition. If you have something to share with us, please feel free to do so, I'd love to hear some of your stories. In future though, I don't want to hear you making light of marriage and parenthood; Bobby is an adult who will make his own decisions when the time is right for him to settle down, and your uncle JR and aunt Sue Ellen deserve time to enjoy their lives now before they consider achieving and providing this family with more". Observing his wife as she replied to their granddaughter, Jock was confused by the amount of emotion she used in her response; Lucy had clearly been joking, but something in Ellie's words and tone made her sound very serious. Women, he didn't understand them most of the time, but he wasn't stupid, he knew when Ellie was serious it was best to just let her do what she was doing, unless of course it messed with his plans; in this situation though, it didn't, he had no better response for Lucy so his wife's would have to do. As it was, it appeared that Lucy was happy enough to accept the invitation offered to her, without dwelling on the tone it was issued in or the small reprimand that accompanied it. Listening as his granddaughter babbled on and on about something to do with her and her school friends, he returned to quietly nodding and murmuring before letting his mind wander. Grandchildren were wonderful, but he couldn't say he didn't prefer actual activities to downtime; he was just better at hands-on things like horse riding or building blocks than he was at making conversation, he was beginning to realise that was ok though. He had his strengths, Ellie had hers, and his grandchildren had their own personalities, they enjoyed many different things and they had more than enough love and energy to share around.

An hour later, after Lucy had disappeared upstairs to finish her homework and he and Ellie had retired to the living room, Ellie to read and he to work on the job description for the advertisement they would be sending to the recruitment agency, Jock was surprised when his wife sighed loudly, closed her book, and cleared her throat. She wanted to talk, that much was obvious, but what about, he had no idea. He was an important, busy man at the office, but he was at home now and at home he always tried to make sure he had time for his wife, provided she was being reasonable with her requests of course. "Ellie?" closing his notepad, he looked straight at her and waited for her to tell him what was on her mind, and from her facial expression as she looked back at him, he had a feeling he was about to find out what her earlier mood had been about.

To be continued…


	525. Cause and Effect

**Dallas, Texas**

"…don't be ridiculous, I love all of our sons and both of our grandchildren equally. I might have different opinions on them sometimes, but my love doesn't change; family is family. I can't be held accountable for their actions that are a disappointment to this family though; as much as I might try to guide them, I'm not them and I don't make their decisions for them, they are autonomous, I'm not a puppet master". Shaking his head and raising his voice, Jock Ewing felt his anger rising. What was wrong with his wife? Why was she always so emotional about everything, and why did she always feel the need to blame him or personally try to take responsibility for things that went wrong? On top of that, why was she even concerning herself with ancient history? Or more importantly, why was Sue Ellen? What did JR's wife have to do with anything? He hadn't been expecting any of this and quite frankly, he wasn't in the mood to deal with it either, but he had to, no way in hell was he just going to walk away from the discussion when there were questions about his decisions and accusations about his 'unequal' parenting being thrown at him.

"I tried with Gary, you know I did; when he and JR were young we were out camping and hunting all the time, and he was good at it too. Don't you go blaming me for that boy's unrealistic expectations, bad decisions and weak manner though; I can only do so much. If he had wanted to, he could have followed JR or Bobby's paths; college was right there and waiting for him when he graduated were two family businesses to choose to use his education to grow, he knew that and he did nothing with it. I knew he wasn't interested in oil, no matter how much I wanted him to be, but he squandered an interest in ranch life and an opportunity to participate and the consequences of that are all on him. He was a Ewing, he could've had any girl in the state, but he chose _that girl_ and then deserted her when it came time to man up to his responsibilities. As far as I'm concerned, Lucy is the only good thing that came from that whole situation, and the situation itself had nothing to do with either you or I. We did what we could, heaven knows you coddled him within an inch of his life and I offered him the world; it's not like he didn't have opportunities, he just didn't want them; that's not our fault and I will not accept responsibility for that".

"Then there's JR; I don't know what or why you and Sue Ellen were discussing his childhood, but whatever the reason, my response is the same; I don't appreciate being cast as the villain. JR is our eldest son, he's the Ewing heir, he always was and he always will be; with that title and role comes a certain set of expectations and responsibilities though and naturally there is disappointment and anger when those things aren't met to the expected level. Don't pretend you weren't disgusted by his actions toward his wife last year, because you were; we dealt with 'our role' in the making of that situation though and I thought we had moved on. I never taught him boundaries with women, I understand that, but I thought it was common sense to act like a proper husband and not a bachelor anymore after marriage. We've dealt with that situation though and things are good for JR and Sue Ellen now, too good sometimes in fact if I'm quite honest; all of that vacation time must be wonderful for his family, it's not so great for Ewing Oil though. I know what you're thinking now, 'why is Ewing Oil so important'? Do you want to know why? Because it's our livelihood and our key to holding the position we do in this town. Like I said before, JR is the Ewing heir, he was always destined for the life he lived, the life we provided him. Running a business is hard work, it takes mental strength and smarts and requires long hours, and to be quite honest, out of all of our sons, JR is the one best suited for that kind of work; he's quick and he's sharp, and as the eldest son, he is in the perfect position to use those traits. I don't believe for one second that we did him some great disservice by fostering his talents, especially since in all the years I was training him to come and work at Ewing Oil I never had complaints from him about how hard we worked together or how much we focused on oil rather than other things. I never expected to hear those complaints either, he knew what was what and so did I. As for having a well-rounded childhood, like I said with Gary, we did things together all the time; you were there, we used to spend weekends out camping and hunting and the boys loved it. He has always known his place, but he's never seemed unhappy to be in that place, at least not to me, and he's a straight talker so I think I'd know if he was dissatisfied with something. Plain and simple, he's an adult, he can make his own decisions about his life and he has done; he made his own choices and mistakes, he managed to claw his way back into Sue Ellen's life, he has asserted himself in business and in his personal life and despite his supposedly unfair childhood, and he's still here with us. JR is different to Gary and both JR and Gary are different to Bobby; JR has guts, he makes things happen, Gary doesn't, conflict was never really his thing, but instead of using that to his advantage like Bobby, he ran and I don't think he's ever looked back".

"Speaking of Bobby too, if you want to discuss our involvement in our son's lives, he's the one to focus on; he received everything JR and Gary did, but unlike his brothers, he's managed to stay away from making too many mistakes, personal and in business. He's young and single and he's allowed to do everything JR was and did when he was a bachelor, and when he was married; and he's quite capable of working at Ewing Oil, but his heart lies in ranching and he's not been afraid of making that known. Like JR, he's assertive in business, and like Gary, he had his pick of careers; unlike them though, he's managed to stay away from personal drama, aside from almost getting married of course, but even then he didn't allow that to ruin his life; he didn't run away from Dallas and he didn't lash out at those closest to him. I suppose if you really want to discuss our parenting 'mistakes' we can start with why it took us three tries to finally get a son with a balanced outlook? What the hell happened to JR and Gary that made them such extremes? It's not like they didn't all have the best opportunities available to them. To be completely honest though, I find this entire conversation to be ridiculous and pointless; like I said before, we're not puppet masters, we didn't force any of our sons into anything. They're adults, they make their own decisions and mistakes and those things are on them, not us; we're not responsible for those mistakes and it's best for everyone if you stop acting like we are. We didn't force Gary to leave, or JR to cheat, or Bobby to choose to leave Ewing Oil and pursue ranching; they made their own decisions and they have to live with the consequences, it's not our fault or responsibility".

Using a hostile tone and loud voice to answer the questions he thought his wife had been asking him, Jock rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in the air as Ellie silently glared at him before stepping toward him and meeting his eye, "that's not what I meant and you know it". Hearing her tone, he knew she was angry, the problem was, despite her claiming he understood her, he really didn't have a clue why she was so angry. She had opened their conversation with some babble about a conversation with Sue Ellen regarding JR and John Ross, and then she had asked him about whether he ever thought they could have done things differently to prevent some of the mistakes their sons had made and some of the personality traits they had developed. He had thought he had answered her questions, but clearly he hadn't and clearly she was not happy with how he had responded. He wasn't a weak man though and he was not interested in walking away and taking the blame for whatever it was she was so angry about, so staring right back at her, intensifying his own glare, he spoke again, "no, I don't know it. I answered your questions and I've told you my opinion, if you want more, you're going to have to ask for it, and be more specific this time, none of this ambiguous women's talk, ask me a straight question and I'll give you a straight answer, within reason". Maintaining eye contact for a few seconds, he then turned and walked over to the drinks cart; after the conversation they had just had and the response that it wasn't good enough, he needed a strong drink, and he had a feeling he might need more than one to get him through the rest of the evening.

To be continued…


	526. Unwavering Opinion

**Dallas, Texas**

"Oh JR", empathising with her husband as he responded to her concern in a very emotionally charged manner, Sue Ellen took his hand and moved a little closer to him as he sat down next to her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it seem like you had done something wrong and therefore it was your responsibility to make the first move; I was simply suggesting that now may be a good time to open the topic for discussion; I can see now that that suggestion was a mistake though. For what it's worth, I really do believe your mama is beginning to see the light and realise the reality of what it was like for you, but I completely understand your perspective too; I wouldn't automatically believe my mother had had an epiphany either, not after the experiences I've had with her. You have every right and it's only natural for you to feel angry and upset about how things were. It must have been very confusing and painful for you during your childhood when you were around the rest of your family, and from what you've told me about the lack of effort your mama made to build a relationship with you as an adult, I truly do understand why you would be sceptical and annoyed".

"I'm not your superior, I'm not going to tell you what to do or punish you when you don't follow my directions; I am your wife though and I want to support you, and I think part of supporting you means offering you my opinion sometimes. Whether it's you or your mama that makes the first move, I really do think you need to talk, to both of your parents, but just your mama at the moment, for your own peace of mind and for the sake of your relationship. Like I said before, it won't be easy or enjoyable, but I honestly don't think it will be quite as bad as you're psyching yourself into thinking it will be. I know it's hard to imagine now and I know I wasn't there in the past so I don't have anything to compare it to, but I can't imagine Miss Ellie really responding with criticism, disappointment or indifference, not after the conversation I had with her. She seemed to be seeing things clearly for the first time and I think that's shaken her as much as this conversation has shaken you. If you really don't want to make the first move, then don't, but please, for your own good and for the potential good that could come from a stronger relationship between you two, please don't ignore her or respond aggressively if she tries to start a conversation. Alternatively, I suppose you could do nothing at all and hope she also does nothing, but like I said before, what does that achieve? You have an opportunity to finally say all of the things you have wanted to say and I think you'd really benefit from doing just that".

Gently running her fingers along his hand and wrist, Sue Ellen tried her best to bring JR back to a calmer state of mind, though she completely understood why he was so worked up. Of course it was difficult for him to hear his mother supposedly regretted many of the things that had shaped him into who he was, and of course he was sceptical of that claim; he'd been hurt a lot during his life and he was used to accepting that that's just how it was and how it would always be. She wasn't interested in arguing with him and she wouldn't fight Miss Ellie's cause any more than she had, but she did want to support him in bettering his life and she did believe that to do that meant being firm and realistic with him about how things had to be for change to occur. Feeling his breathing evening out a little and seeing him loosen his grip on his glass, she knew something she was saying was getting through to him and he was relaxing, even if it was only because she had told him he could do nothing if he really wanted to. She knew her husband, he was a strong man who wasn't afraid of confrontation or making difficult decisions and when prompted enough, he would talk openly, their sessions with Doctor Williams had proven that, but she also knew how damaged he was from his relationship with his family and she knew it was hard for him to confront those feelings. He was 'JR Ewing', he wasn't supposed to be vulnerable or emotional and she knew that although he'd long-ago come to terms with the fact that with her he could be those things around her, he still struggled with accepting that it was ok to be that way around other people too. He didn't want to show his family how much they had hurt him, not just because he didn't want to be seen as weak and making a fuss, but because he didn't want to confront his feelings. He also didn't want to open himself up to more pain and additional negative memories, she understood that and she empathised with him, but she wanted him to understand that she supported him and she would be there for him every step of the way.

"I won't be rude, she's my mother and I do have some manners, but I can't and won't guarantee that anything will go as you want it to. You have a different relationship with my mother than I do and don't even get me started on the kind of problems this is going to cause for me and daddy. So you're right, it's not going to be easy, if it even happens, because there's no guarantee it will since I'm sure as hell not starting the conversation; and it's not going to be fun, because it is a serious topic and there are serious, real feelings and real, strong personalities involved. I know you want the best for me and you envision some perfect little conversation where we all express our feelings, hug, and then everything is ideal and all inequality and negativity is erased, but it doesn't happen like that and I have to be realistic before I go into any conversation". Listening to JR as he spoke and watching him then gulp down his drink and rub his forehead, Sue Ellen knew he was nearing the end of his tolerance for their conversation, so when he placed his glass down on the coffee table and looked back at her, she wasn't surprised to hear him verbalise that. "Now, I don't want to talk about this anymore, so let's drop it"; they weren't finished talking, not really, there was a lot more they could say if they were both in the same headspace, but she understood his position and why he wasn't interested in talking anymore, and she respected that. He wasn't ready and she wasn't going to push him. "Ok", nodding, she leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek and she was pleasantly surprised when he pulled her in closer for a hug; he was upset, angry, and annoyed with his parents, but he wasn't upset with her specifically, and knowing that made her happy and a little less stressed. Their relationship was strong and good and for now, that was enough.

To be continued…


	527. Confessions

**Dallas, Texas**

Walking into his home after yet another disappointing date with a girl one of his old college friends thought he would pair perfectly with, Bobby Ewing's mood worsened considerably as he heard the raised voices and specific words coming from the living room. His parents weren't just talking, they were arguing, and it sounded like they were arguing about him and his brothers, and that was never a good thing. Standing outside the living room, caught between nosiness and not wanting to be involved, which he probably would be if he made his presence known, he briefly contemplated going outside and hoping the balcony door was open, or even leaving the house entirely, but he knew his mother would worry if it seemed that he never came home. Frozen, he stood silently listening for an opening where he could just stroll past the doorway without being noticed, or casually greet his parents pretending as if nothing had happened before running upstairs to avoid the obviously tense atmosphere.

"…fine, you want straight talk, I'll give you straight talk, but I want you to actually listen to me before shouting at me and dismissing my concerns as women's talk which is apparently ridiculous and pointless. You're the man of this family and as your wife and the matriarch of this family I expect you to have more involvement in leading than just shouting orders and expecting everyone to fall into line with your plan. I want you to listen to me and to understand my concerns and I'm asking you for your opinion on how we raised our sons. Do you ever have any regrets or wish you did things differently? You clearly agree with me that by the time we had our third son we'd worked out that we both needed to be involved and you seem to agree that Bobby is the most well-rounded of our sons, so that clearly worked. You clearly understand that Ewing Oil isn't everybody's number one priority too and you support Bobby's choice to run the ranch, but I'm asking you whether you regret the way that understanding came to be? I think we made a mistake in the way we parented JR and Gary and I think it's obvious when I look at Bobby, and now John Ross. It was wrong for me to hand JR over to you when he was so young; he was still a child, he needed his mother and I wasn't there for him, nor did I prepare him for the transition into your care and I truly believe that that affected him deeply. JR and I aren't close, at all, and I feel like a terrible mother for having not realised why that is before Sue Ellen prompted me to. My conversation with Sue Ellen also made me realise that it was wrong of me to take such a deep interest in Gary when I was a mother to more than one son; JR needed me in the same emotional way Gary needed me. They spent time with you doing all of the things you wanted to do with your sons and that's wonderful, but ideally children do need two parents and it wasn't right for me to act as if just because Gary was the youngest he was the only one who needed me. I detest you saying Gary was weak and squandered his opportunities, because I don't think that's fair; Gary was an individual who made decisions just like Bobby is making now, he loved ranching but he didn't love the pressure you put him under when talking about a future in ranching. Likewise, it's not fair to expect him to react the way an adult should react in situations like the one he got into with Valene; he was a teenager, he made a mistake and only later did he truly realise the consequences of his mistake, but you really didn't help alleviate the pressure and guilt of those consequences".

"I digress though, this isn't about Gary, not really, I asked you about your regrets earlier because I was thinking about my conversation with Sue Ellen about JR and John Ross. With everything positive about these past few days with John Ross, it got me thinking about JR when he was a child. Why is it that I thought you should spend more time being a grandfather to John Ross but when JR was young, I never thought about my relationship with him? Why when we talk about our sons do you always talk about JR as if he's just your business partner, Gary as if he's the biggest disappointment in your life, and Bobby as the one who everyone should aspire to be? I'm struggling to deal with the amount of guilt I feel for letting go of JR so soon, not noticing how much that must have hurt him, and not standing up to you when you were clearly treating him less well than you treated Bobby. I'm struggling too with my own actions; I dislike your use of the word coddle, but I can't deny that I did dote upon Gary in a way that must have been very upsetting for JR. I can't deny either that when I think of my relationship with Bobby, Lucy, and John Ross, I feel nothing but good feelings and I have no reservations about showing them how much I care about them. For some reason though it never occurred to me to continue to treat JR the same way I had already been treating him before Gary was born. I feel guilty, ashamed and very sad about all of the time I've lost with JR, and I'm asking you whether you ever have regrets about the way things were when we were younger and our sons were still ours to shape and teach. I'm looking to you for some kind of support or empathy; I don't want to feel the way I do, I wish I didn't have the memories and experiences I have which make me feel this way, but I do and I want to know that I'm not alone".

Eavesdropping on his mother's confession, Bobby was torn between feeling guilty himself for listening in on something that he wasn't supposed to be and feeling intrigued and uncomfortable about the actual content of his mother's speech. He had always had a reasonably good relationship with both of his parents and for years he had thought nothing of it, not until he began to work with JR and his father at Ewing Oil and see just how bitter JR was about the difference in the way their father treated them. At first he had dismissed JR's concerns as silly and unfounded, because he had been working damn hard at Ewing Oil and it didn't feel like his father was going easy on him at all, but slowly he had begun to realise what JR was so upset about, and eventually he had had to face the reality of his future. JR didn't want him at Ewing Oil, but even if he had wanted him, it wouldn't have worked out in the long run, he just wasn't as talented as JR and his father when it came to oil and business matters, and his heart wasn't in oil the way it was in ranching. For him, life at Ewing Oil was the biggest reminder of the difference in treatment he received from his father, because in his personal life he was ashamed to admit he really didn't notice it all that often. From what he was hearing though, his mother noticed it and blamed herself for a lot of it and for some reason he felt bad, like it was his choice to feel bad about. Unsure whether he could or wanted to face listening to the rest of the conversation and definitely sure now was not the time to make his return home known, he slowly turned and walked back down the hallway, out onto the driveway and over to his car. He had no intention of worrying his mother by not returning home from his date at all, but it didn't feel right to be at Southfork right now, and in some ways, although he was running away from reality, he had a feeling that the time he was about to take for himself might help clear his head.

To be continued…


	528. Potential

**Dallas, Texas**

"…it's hard to believe these are all donated items, they're all such high quality and in beautiful condition. I could never afford all of these items new, that's part of the reason why I'm here today; I can't pretend that I don't do my fair share of window shopping though, and if I'm not mistaken, the majority of the things here are from recent season's collection. You're not short of options either; it's not just a sea of black skirts and plain blouses. You must have a lot of fun working here; I was a shop girl when I was in high school and I loved it; after high school I had to find something that paid just a little bit more than that though, so that was the end of that. I miss the people, the staff discount and the tasks in comparison to office work, but I appreciate the quality of life office work affords me. We're not rich, not by any means, but we have enough now, at least in my eyes we do…"

Watching with amusement and amazement as the young brunette girl stepped back and analysed the items of clothing on the racks in front of her, Sue Ellen briefly wondered why she had even been assigned the task of assisting her to choose a few pieces of clothing, because she was clearly capable of thinking fashionably and artistically. Taking a closer look at the young woman and thinking about the few details that she had given during their meeting though, she understood why she had asked for charitable help. She was pretty, polite, and friendly, but she didn't have the well-groomed shine she potentially would've had with a little bit more money, and from the way she spoke and the way her eyes grew distant and glazed, it was obvious the tough times in her life weren't completely a thing of the past. What was obvious to Sue Ellen too though was that although money was obviously a bit tight and it seemed that at some point the young woman had put her life on hold out of familial obligation, she wasn't unhappy or bitter about the life she was living. After the past twenty-four hours as a member of the Ewing family, it was nice to hear someone else referring to their dysfunctional family in a loving way. In the back of her mind too, Sue Ellen noted that when referring to her family the young woman never mentioned a mother, boyfriend, or husband; she barely knew the girl and after today she would probably never see her again, but that didn't stop her mind from racing ahead and connecting dots to form a potentially pretty picture. For now though she had to remind herself that she was working and she had a task to focus on.

"Yes, it's hard to believe sometimes, people are very generous, though to be honest I think sometimes it's more about ego and appearance, and making space for newer items than it is about being generous. Regardless of motivation though, this organization is helping a lot of women and that's really the most important thing; it's also why I choose to volunteer my time here, like you described about working in a store, I like the people and I like the tasks. Knowing that I helped make even just one woman's life a little bit brighter is enough for me, the creative outlet and social environment is secondary to that, but I do enjoy all of it". Getting lost in her thoughts about why she enjoyed volunteering, and embarrassingly, why she understood the motivations of wealthy women donating near new, expensive clothing, she snapped back into reality as she pulled a beautiful cream dress from the rack, and her client selected a lovely silk blouse; they had a goal to achieve today and achieve it they would.

A little while later, after a lot of careful deliberation about which items looked the best and were equally as versatile, Sue Ellen and the young woman continued their conversation as she folded and bagged the small pile of clothing they had selected together. "Thank you for having me today, and for all of these lovely things, it's very kind… you're very kind. I'm not sure anyone here will want my old clothing by the time I'm finished with it but I will keep this organization in mind, you're doing wonderful work here". Watching the way she smiled and hearing the grateful tone in her voice, Sue Ellen reflected on their meeting and smiled to herself at the memory of the rapport they had had with each other. They had worked well together and although they hadn't spoken too deeply about their personal lives she did feel like if circumstances were different they could have been friends. "Thank you", nodding and smiling back at the young woman, she paused for a moment before clearing her throat, "can I make a suggestion?" she appreciated the thanks she received for her time and effort, but what she found herself focused more deeply on was a need to reassure and redirect. "Don't sell yourself short. Clothing is not the only thing you can offer people, time, kindness, and patience, those things are more valuable if you're looking to be charitable. I know you're starting a new job next week and you probably have a lot of other commitments, but from our time today I think you'd be the perfect candidate for a sales consultant or fashion buyer job, or even a volunteer here, we're always looking for kind women with an eye for what looks good and what's versatile. Administration work might pay more and might be what you need to do at this time in your life, but eventually, I think you might find more happiness in fashion and customer service, and there's nothing wrong with doing something because it makes you happy. Of course, I don't know you so take my opinion as you please, but that's the impression I got from our meeting today".

Handing over the bag of folded clothes as she finished speaking, Sue Ellen was pleased when she received a warm smile and a genuine, "thank you, and you're not too far off the mark", in response. "It was lovely to meet you Sue Ellen. I'll think about what you said too, so maybe we'll see each other around sometime", watching as her client and potential co-worker/friend then gathered her things, she smiled as she responded as they walked over toward the door, "it was lovely to meet you too Pamela, and I look forward to it".

To be continued…


	529. A Man's Place

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR, my office, five minutes", popping his head in the doorway of JR's office and seeing that he was in the middle of a meeting with Diane, Jock gave a short, sharp direction before turning and leaving. They had business to attend to first, but after that was dealt with, he had plans for a little talk with his eldest son about women and where to draw the line in regard to listening to and acting on their feelings. He didn't know the specifics of Sue Ellen's talk with his wife, but from the way Ellie had referenced it the previous evening it sounded like Sue Ellen was taking advantage of her newfound confidence and 'communication skills', and he didn't like it one bit. Ellie was a good woman and he liked to think they had a strong marriage, strong, but traditional, where husbands and wives had their place, stayed there, and liked it. Of course, she was also a strong woman and she had made it clear to him a number of times in the past that she didn't appreciate his behaviour, but never in such a specific, audacious way, and never over such ambiguous, silly things. He didn't appreciate her trying to guilt trip him into admitting he had been a 'bad' father when he hadn't been, and quite frankly he thought her regrets about how they had raised their sons were fairly pointless and not worth getting all worked up about. They couldn't change the past and even if they could, other than keeping a closer eye on Gary and offering Bobby the ranch earlier to avoid all of the time and resources he'd wasted on trying to make him an oilman, he didn't really think there was much he would change. Her guilt about handing JR over to him to raise was hers and hers alone; he happened to believe he had done a good job with JR overall.

Of course, there were things he wished hadn't happened and others he wished hadn't taken so long to happen, but he had what he had always envisioned and JR seemed happy with that, so he didn't see the problem. Where he did see a problem was with the wives in the Ewing family; they didn't need to concern themselves with such unimportant, unchangeable matters, but more than that, he didn't like the idea of them getting together to discuss the supposed 'mistakes' that had been made. He had told Ellie that the previous evening before ending their conversation and going into his office to finish his work, then by the time it was time for him to go to sleep it seemed like Ellie had cooled down a little, and by the time breakfast rolled around things were back to normal, just how he liked them. However, although things at Southfork may have calmed down, with everyone resuming their assigned roles without causing issues, there were still a few loose ends he had to tie up before he could consider the case closed and go back to living how he wanted. He needed to speak to JR and he needed JR to remind his wife of her role and place in the Ewing family; he couldn't deal with more of Ellie's outbursts and he needed to ensure she wouldn't be pushed into pursuing pointless topics for no reason other than trying in vain to redo the past the 'right' way.

"JR, my office, five minutes", seeing his father appear in his doorway and then disappear almost as quickly, JR mentally sighed to himself, though physically he just nodded at his father before returning to responding to his mail and messages with Diane. He had a fair idea about what his father wanted to speak about and he wasn't particularly enthusiastic about having that conversation, but he wasn't weak and he would do what he had to when the time came. He couldn't blame Sue Ellen, he knew she acted with good intentions, but sometimes trying to do the right thing ended up causing more issues than it solved and he had a feeling that now was one of those times. Of course, she was right, if his mother was willing to approach the subject with him the least he could do was listen, especially if he ever wanted to move on from the resentment, hurt, and anger he held deep inside him. Knowing it and actually being willing to do so were two different things though and since his mother hadn't yet approached him in any way, it all seemed a bit pointless to continue thinking about. It was on his mind now though, because he could tell from his father's sharp tone that he knew of Sue Ellen's conversation with his mother, and knowing his father, he probably wasn't all that happy about it. His father was like him, or he was like his father, he wasn't sure, but neither of them enjoyed having other people sticking their nose into their private, personal business, and neither of them liked being told they were in the wrong. In this situation though he didn't have a whole lot of sympathy for his father; he respected him, but he was also a huge part of the issue and he couldn't just forget that. He wasn't Gary though, he was strong and he had no intention of crying or sulking all day or allowing it to affect everything else going on in his life, especially not now when he was at work, busy with real, time sensitive tasks.

Five minutes later, right on time, JR knocked on his father's office door, waited for the verbal invitation and then entered, taking a seat as Jock slid a drink across his desk and waved to the leather chair in front of his desk. "JR", nodding, Jock handed him a small stack of papers containing the job description to be advertised and the absolute minimum requirements for the agency to comply with, "firstly, I need you to read and then sign these; I want the agency to start working on finding us someone soon so we need to get these documents to them today". Watching JR silently peruse the papers, sign them and then hand them back to him, Jock then pressed his intercom button, told Julie to come and collect the papers for sending and then returned to being silent, only to continue speaking after his secretary had come, gone, and closed the door behind her. "Now that the pressing matter is dealt with, I want to talk to you; we need to have a serious discussion about your wife. It seems Sue Ellen had been sticking her nose into things that don't concern her and it's distressing your mother and making things very difficult at Southfork and I don't like it, not for me and not for her…"

To be continued…


	530. Back and Forth

**Dallas, Texas**

Listening to his father as he began ranting, JR's frustration and anger with the present situation grew. Sue Ellen was right, his father liked to control things, even things that weren't his business or responsibility, and while that worked ok when it didn't involve him, he didn't like it when it did involve him and his family. If his and Sue Ellen's sessions with Doctor Williams had taught him anything it was that communication was key and holding things in didn't work long-term, it only allowed small frustrations to grow and eventually explode in the worst way. What he understood too was that if his father was getting this worked up about what he called women's business, then something must have struck chord with him. He knew his father didn't like being wrong or looking weak or not in control, and with Sue Ellen and his mother discussing and agreeing on things that could be better, he didn't hold all the power. What really got to JR though was the hypocrisy of everything, even his own behaviour now. It made no sense for his father to tell him what to do in one way and then get angry when he did it, improved his life and his marriage, and he and Sue Ellen took it a step further, strengthening their marriage considerably. At the same time too though, was he just as bad getting annoyed about his father's beliefs and actions? If he was allowed to believe and act the way he wanted to, wasn't his father allowed to act that way too? He didn't know and he didn't have a lot of time to think about it, because as his father shouted, he felt his own anger rising and at the first opportunity to interrupt, he did.

"Now hold on a damn minute daddy. Firstly, Sue Ellen isn't sticking her nose into anything she's not entitled to know about. She's my wife and she wants the best for me and our family, and part of creating the best life for us requires her to understand the past, and the mistakes of the past, both hers and mine, so we don't repeat those mistakes ourselves. I think she was perfectly entitled to ask mama about my childhood and how parenting me was different to how we are parenting John Ross. Secondly, if you're going to have an opinion and tell me about it, then at least make it a consistent one; I don't think it's fair for you to send such mixed messages about how I act in my marriage. First in your eyes I don't understand women and don't treat Sue Ellen with the respect she deserves, and now I give her too much freedom and too much respect? Which one is it? You can't have it both ways, it doesn't work. Now that Sue Ellen and I have improved our lives and our marriage, we can't go back, and we don't want to go back, we like the way things are now. Thirdly, if mama is distressed about her conversation with Sue Ellen then perhaps she needs to come and speak to Sue Ellen or me about that rather than worrying herself sick but staying silent like you want her to be. Quite frankly, I'd enjoy never having to speak about any of this again, but I'm not going to silence my wife and with the things I keep hearing about mama, it's not going to be easy to just pretend none of this ever happened, so might as well talk about it, whether you like it or not. By all accounts though, it sounds like all of this came about because of you anyway; mama and Sue Ellen were impressed with how much you had changed this weekend when it came to John Ross, and then Sue Ellen asked why I never had a childhood like that. That's it, everything else was mama and her memories; I don't have a clue what she's remembering and I have no interest in asking her either, I don't think it's my problem to fix, but I won't stop her if she wants to say something to me. I don't know what's going on with you and mama at Southfork, but I don't think it's fair to solely blame me or Sue Ellen. Sue Ellen wasn't there when I was a child and I wasn't there when all of this recent talk was happening, so as far as I'm concerned, it's not my problem to deal with. If you want to talk about it, then we'll talk about all of it, but not just you and me, it has to involve all of us; and if you don't want to talk about it, then you have to stop blaming me for problems in your marriage".

Raising his voice to match his father's volume, JR found himself shouting his response, and although he did feel a little ashamed that he had just been so disrespectful to his father, it wasn't long before he was reminded why he also felt rage, frustration, and hurt. Meeting his father's eye, he could almost feel his response before he actually started speaking, and that response was not good. "No boy, you hold on just a damn minute! Who the hell do you think you are? Have some respect! There was nothing wrong with your childhood and I see no reason why you would need to follow any different parenting style with John Ross; he's the Ewing heir, his future is set and the plan that worked with you will surely work with him too. I don't know what kind of crap you've been telling that wife of yours but despite what she says, I didn't work you to the bone. I took all three of you boys out to spend time away from the oil business and I never had any complaints, you all enjoyed it, so if you had a terrible childhood don't blame me. Secondly, this has nothing to do with the talk I gave you last year about marriage; that talk was about the sanctity of marriage and growing up and moving on from the life of a single man. I said respect your wife and be faithful to your marriage vows, you know, keep your woman happy and satisfied; what I absolutely did not tell you to do was forget everything you know about being a man and about the roles of a husband and wife in a marriage. A wife is perfectly capable of being happy, satisfied, and staying in her place, quietly raising the children and tending to her husband's needs when he's home. A husband's needs don't have to extend as far as you two seem to push them though; I don't know where all of this crap about working through old feelings is coming from but I'm telling you now, keep me and your mother out of it if you're going to insist on doing it".

"As for my relationship with John Ross, I don't know why everyone is making such a big fuss; I'm better with children who walk and talk, everyone knows that. John Ross is smart though, and Lucy is persistent, so yes, I had a good time this weekend, but it was hardly something to spend this amount of time and energy dissecting. To your final point, you don't think any of this is your responsibility? I think you need to think about that again. Where do you think Sue Ellen got the idea that your mama was to blame for your faults? Your mama would never have verbally attacked me if it hadn't been for her, and no one would be so damn focused on any of this if it weren't for you moaning about the supposed hard life you endured. I don't want to have this discussion again with the women, they'll only get emotional and I don't have time for that, so hear me now, go home to your wife, tell her to back off, and I'll make sure your mother does the same. We're all having dinner at Southfork on Thursday and I'd like to keep it argument free, so it's best for us to put all of this behind us now, even if you seem to want to keep going in circles arguing about it. We both know I'm the head of this family and it's going to stay that way until I'm gone, so let's not waste time arguing about stupid things like the past, and instead, let's focus on the future, the future where this company thrives and so does our family. I don't want to hear any more about this and I trust that you'll ensure I don't have to…"

Understanding exactly why he had been so angry a few moments ago, JR opened his mouth to respond to his father's continued rant, however, before he could, their conversation was interrupted by the sound of the intercom buzzing and the minute his father answered the notification, he knew their conversation was over for now. His father was an important man and while their conversation was important and in JR's eyes, not over yet, it was also personal and as they were at the office, it had to come second to professional work. "I'll see you later daddy", not making any commitment to tell Sue Ellen to back off or any guarantee that their conversation was truly over, JR turned slowly and walked out of his father's office, and when he reached his own office, he closed the door behind him, closed his eyes, and swore to himself, "damn". He didn't like it, things weren't going as planned, even if he didn't really have a plan; he wanted to be in control, or living in ignorance again, but neither of those seemed like they were likely to happen any time soon and that bothered him. Opening his eyes as his own intercom buzzed, he quickly swallowed his feelings and walked over to his desk, and hearing Diane's voice, he compartmentalized and closed off his thoughts and moved on; he had work to do and that work didn't care whether he was distracted by his personal life or not.

To be continued…


	531. Invitation

**Dallas, Texas**

"Good evening Teresa, it's Sue Ellen calling. Is Miss Ellie available?" twisting the phone cord around her finger, Sue Ellen waited anxiously for her mother-in-law to come to the phone. She had had just about enough of the back and forth between her in-laws and her husband and she had decided as soon as JR returned home from work agitated that it was time to take control of the situation and if necessary, to ask for professional help. Jock clearly didn't want to listen to anything anyone had to say, Miss Ellie seemed to have trouble articulating her feelings to the one person they affected the most, and JR was angry, upset, and stressed; none of them were in the right frame of mind to take a leadership role, so it was up to her to do so.

"Sue Ellen? Is everything all right?" hearing Miss Ellie's voice on the other end of the line, Sue Ellen tightened her grip on the telephone cord before speaking, "good evening Miss Ellie. We're all physically fine here, I didn't mean to worry you with my phone call, it's just, I think we need to talk, and I think we need to do it soon. JR and I would like to invite you and Jock over to our house tonight, say after dinner? We'd like to get John Ross down for bed first, but he falls asleep early so I don't think that'll be a problem. Are you available? It's somewhat urgent". Waiting for an answer, she hoped JR would be perceptive if the answer was yes, because she had bent the truth a little when she had mentioned both their names in the invitation and she still needed to talk to him about having yet another conversation about the past. From what she could tell, he was almost done with thinking about it and was ready to write his childhood off as a personally damaging experience he would never receive any apology for or any opportunity for closure. If she didn't act now and try to assist the situation, she could see him turning into Jock and refusing to listen to any sort of reason or differing opinions. He was hurt and angry and he needed to understand why the things that had made him that way had happened, and if at all possible, he needed to hear an apology from the people that had caused those feelings inside him. Miss Ellie needed to do more than she was doing now, she needed to speak to JR, and Jock, well he needed to do a lot more than he was doing now and it all started with listening to other people's thoughts and feelings, not just hearing them and dismissing them as nonsense. Doctor Williams had told her during their last appointment that the next time Jock said something she disagreed with, she should verbalise her feelings rather than biting her tongue for the sake of keeping the peace; she didn't have to be rude, just firm, and tonight, that's exactly what she intended to do.

"Well Sue Ellen, it is short notice, but I suppose we don't really have anything planned tonight, so yes, we'll be there. Are you sure though? Jock is in a foul mood and I don't mean to stall, but I've been battling with my thoughts all day and I'm still not sure how to speak to JR about everything you and I spoke about". As she listened to her mother-in-law's response, Sue Ellen knew that she had been right to make the first move, it was clear that Miss Ellie wasn't going to, and knowing the Ewing men, it was highly unlikely they would ever suggest a group talk anyway, so it was definitely up to her to organize plans and move them along. "I'm sure. JR isn't going to come to you, so you have to be the one to start the conversation. I can't tell you what to say, but I can tell you that what you told me yesterday would be a good place to start. As for Jock, I can't tell you what to say to him either, but I do hope he realises coming tonight would be in his best interest and the best interest of the Ewing family as a whole…" Hoping she didn't sound too rude or dismissive of her mother-in-law's concerns, she paused for a second before changing her tone and finishing with a peppy, "we'll see you later", and receiving a few words spoken in an apprehensive, but kind tone in response, she said goodbye and hung up.

Closing her eyes for a few moments, she then took a deep breath and walked back into the living room to join JR and John Ross as they played together before dinner. JR had returned home from work agitated, but a drink, a loosened tie, a nice kiss, a long hug, and John Ross' abundant affection and excitement for playtime was a great distraction from the drama of the day, and returning to the living room, she could tell he was already feeling a little less stressed. Knowing JR as well as she did though, she knew it wouldn't be long before his negative outlook on life returned, because although he had known she was going to phone Southfork, he hadn't believed her efforts would be met with a positive response, so to hear they had would be a bit of a surprise to him. "They'll be over tonight, after John Ross goes to bed", speaking as she walked toward him, she kneeled down and stroked her son's hair before taking JR's hand and looking him in the eye. "I love you, please remember that. I'm not doing this to hurt you. I know it's not something you want to do and I'm not going to force you to act any particular way, but please, just hear your mama out. As for your daddy, leave him to me; I've decided to take the advice Doctor William's gave me at our last appointment; if he has a problem with how we're living our lives and he decides he's going to make sure we are all well aware of that, then I'm going to do the same". Grinning as she spoke, she leaned forward to kiss him softly before pulling away and watching his facial expression change; for the first time in a while, he was grinning back at her, and that made her very happy. He was a complex man and sometimes she didn't understand him, but she understood him now; he was sad, angry, and unsure of what the evening held, but he wasn't weak, and he was completely behind her when she made it clear she wasn't interested in playing the submissive, weak woman anymore either. They were a team and as a team they supported each other, that was how it should be, how it was, and how they hoped it would always be. Jock and Miss Ellie needed to hear a few home truths before they could even consider trying to move on from the past, and tonight, they would begin that process.

To be continued…


	532. Stilted Conversation

**Dallas, Texas**

"So, young lady, you've gathered us all here, now what?" breaking the silence in the room, Jock made eye contact with his daughter-in-law and held her gaze as he waited for an answer. He had reluctantly agreed to join Ellie in her quest to 'make things right' with JR, but that was all he had agreed to do. As he had told Ellie the previous evening and JR earlier in the day, he had nothing to apologise for, because he had no regrets, and from his perspective, JR had had a darn good life and neither he nor Sue Ellen had any valid reason to be complaining about the way he had been raised. He was present at the family meeting for three main reasons. One, because his wife had pestered him into making an appearance, or as she called it, an effort; two, because he needed to hear what was really being said about him, because so far he had only heard bits and pieces of conversations that had occurred; and three, because once he knew the allegations against him, he could defend himself. What he wasn't present to do was apologise or coddle his son and daughter-in-law because they decided it was necessary.

"Now, we talk, listen to each other, and try to gain some understanding of different perspectives, respectfully. Contrary to popular belief, family meetings aren't supposed to be like a trip to the principal's office, there is no authority hierarchy, we're all adults and this isn't a business meeting, no one is the president, vice president, secretary etc., we're all equals and with that comes equal rights. We all have the right to speak and have our opinions heard, but equally, we all have the responsibility to listen to what everyone else is saying too. That's what this meeting is about, talking, listening, and trying to understand each other. I know what I want to gain from this meeting, and I think I have an idea what JR, and Miss Ellie want to gain from this meeting, and I know it won't be easy, but I do think it's possible; we all have to try though, and when I say all, I mean all".

Speaking to JR and Miss Ellie, but more specifically Jock, Sue Ellen held eye contact with him until her eyes began to dry and she had to blink, breaking the gaze they were locked in. She wasn't afraid of Jock Ewing, he wasn't her boss, and although he was JR's boss, he really didn't have much to take away from him if he did decide to be an immature jerk and punish JR for daring to have an opinion on his position in the Ewing family. Businesswise, JR and Jock had legally sorted everything to do with the future of Ewing Oil, and he had made it perfectly clear he didn't like it when JR wasn't at the office to handle his workload, so there was no threat of him taking the company away from JR. Personally too, she and JR weren't in a bad position, they lived away from Southfork, in a home they owned themselves, and they had John Ross, the grandson Jock definitely wanted to maintain contact with, even if he wasn't happy with them. It wasn't right to use John Ross as a bargaining chip and she wasn't going to verbally do so, but she wasn't stupid and neither was Jock, they both understood the guidelines without having to say so. John Ross was her and JR's son and whether Jock wanted to admit it or not, she knew he knew he had to be a reasonable person if he wanted to keep his grandparent privileges. Her mother had already lost her grandparent privileges, they hadn't explicitly told Jock and Miss Ellie that, but it had to be fairly obvious by now, and that made the possibility of it happening to them even more real. Miss Ellie was safe, she had nothing but love and adoration for John Ross, and respect for JR and Sue Ellen as his parents. Jock though, he wasn't so safe, he loved John Ross and he was beginning to really enjoy spending time with him, but he needed to remember where John Ross had come from and the life he lived outside Southfork Ranch boundary lines. John Ross wasn't really the topic of conversation at present though and she wasn't going to drag him into the conversation until someone else did.

"JR, why are you so silent? Don't you have anything to say about all of this? No one else seems to be saying it, but if I understand correctly, all of this comes down to you and your supposed mistreatment; is that correct, or is there some other reason why we're all gathered here today? It's all hunky-dory to say we're here to 'talk', and 'listen', and 'understand' each other, but if no one has any idea what that means then it means nothing. Speak up now, and please, be a little clearer with your words than your wife was, we're not all seeing that quack that calls himself a doctor, we're not all aware of the vague, nonsense definitions attached to those words. We have work in the morning too, so let's get started, I don't intend to be here all night", staring at his son as he spoke, he waited for him to say something, anything, because he had been surprisingly silent so far and he wasn't interested in sitting around for much longer listening to Sue Ellen's inane comments. Left alone Sue Ellen was a nice lady, but when she got involved in anything of any importance she had a way of blowing everything out of proportion, and right now that's exactly what she seemed to be doing. JR didn't look like he wanted to be present in their conversation any more than he did, and although Ellie had said the previous evening that she wanted to talk with JR and try to clear her conscience, she was silent now, and that told him something very important. Sue Ellen was pushing a subject no one but she wanted to discuss and somebody needed to either humour her and go along with it, or cut her crusade short.

Silently glaring at his father, JR cleared his throat before growling his response, "of course I have something to say about this, in fact, I already tried to tell you this morning, but did you listen? No. You objected to every point I made and then you cut our conversation short and didn't talk to me for the rest of the day. If you want a clear conversation now though, I'll give you one. I'm angry, at you, at mama, and at myself, and I don't think I should have to explain why, not again". Turning his attention toward his mother, he continued speaking, his sharp tone no less harsh than the tone he used to address his father, "mama, Sue Ellen tells me you have something to say to me? Now would probably be a good time to start…" Allowing some of his frustration to slip out, but maintaining his cool, he downed the rest of his drink and waited for someone to say something. He was angry, but he was also annoyed and hurt; he had allowed Sue Ellen to talk him into giving his parents another chance to explain things, even after he had already tried with his father and heard nothing at all from his mother, yet despite Sue Ellen's efforts and his time allowances, everything was still exactly the same. Was it really worth it? He didn't think so, not anymore. Nothing was ever going to change, no matter how much time he allowed, so it seemed stupid to him to lower the wall around the vulnerable part of himself, he would either be taken advantage of, or hurt even more than he already was. He had no desire to feel any worse than he already did, so he was ready to just give up and continue with the distant, unfair relationship he had with his parents, however, before he really had a chance to make that decision, let alone announce it, his mother surprised him. "Oh JR… I don't know how to start, but please, just hear me out…" letting out a loud sigh and meeting his eye as she began to speak, something in the way she presented herself to him made him listen. He didn't necessarily want to hear what she had to say anymore, she had been silent and indifferent for much too long, but for some reason, he was listening. Perhaps this was the progress he had been hoping for, or not, but whatever it was, at least it was something more than his father's ranting, Sue Ellen's over explaining, or the silence that they all seemed to fall into when nobody was directly speaking to anyone else.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Sorry about the length between updates. Thank you for reading and for all of your reviews and messages, they're much appreciated :)**


	533. Hard to Explain

**Dallas, Texas**

"First of all, before I say anything else, I want to tell you how sorry I am, for my attitude and actions toward you when you were younger, and for a lifetime of being so oblivious to how those things were affecting you. I truly didn't understand before Sue Ellen and I started talking, I had no idea just how much the way I lived my life affected you, but when I did realise it, I immediately felt guilty, and so very sorry. I don't know how much you remember from when you were very young, but I remember a lot, but regrettably, my memories peter out around the time Gary was born, and I know that that's my fault. I never intended to ignore you or make you feel like you weren't an important member of this family, but I can see now that I also never did very much to ensure you didn't feel that way either. When Gary was born, he needed me in a different way than you did, he was so small and helpless, and you were bigger and more active, I needed time, and you needed attention, so at the time it seemed like a very natural transition to have you spend more time with your daddy. I don't know why, but it never occurred to me that you, my little shy boy, still needed me, and still wanted me. You didn't seem extremely unhappy with the change and I suppose, rightly or wrongly, I was so wrapped up in being a mother to a baby again that I didn't see much further than my own small little world. You're a father yourself, I'm sure you understand how much work babies are; I was at home by myself all day with Gary, and you were out of the house at school, or with your daddy at the office, out in the oil fields, or out on the ranch. By the time we came together for dinner at the end of the day, we were all exhausted, and I hadn't yet worked out how to handle multiple children, so I allowed that exhaustion to create distance between us. I feel awful thinking about it now, because those very early years of sleepless nights and absolute dependency don't last forever and Gary did eventually get older and become more independent, and yet I still allowed the distance between you and I to grow".

"I feel very guilty too about my lack of multitasking skills and the attention and experiences you missed that Gary and Bobby didn't when they were growing up. I think as much as I say now that I really didn't know how much damage I was doing to our relationship, I must have subconsciously known something, because I did make an effort to do things differently with Bobby. Gary wasn't that much older than you had been when I found out I was pregnant again, but that time, for reasons I can't explain, I knew I had to do things differently and I did things differently. By the time I realised I was capable of splitting my attention, and should do that, it was too late for our relationship; you were almost ten years old when Bobby was born and we weren't close at all, and I didn't know how to regain the closeness we'd had when you were an only child, so I didn't try. It's more complicated than that, yes, I admit that I didn't even think of our relationship as distant at times; you were your father's son, Gary was my son, and Bobby was our son, it all fit together and I thought it ran ok, so it wasn't cause for concern. I'm so very sorry that that was the case though, I can't even imagine how much it must have hurt you to feel like you weren't an important part of this family; you have no idea how guilty I felt when I realised that you did feel that way".

"When you were growing up I thought everything was how it was supposed to be; your daddy had always dreamed of having a son to follow in his footsteps, and my father had always had the same wish, so when things began to unfold as they did, and when they continued as you grew, I didn't think anything of it. You have to admit too, while it might not have been everything you needed, the way you were raised wasn't cause for constant upset. I saw your face and I heard your stories when you came back from your days with your daddy, and I saw the determination and pride you had when it came to doing well at school because it would allow you to succeed in business later in life. What I didn't see, and what I didn't think about was your fulfilment as a person independent of the things your daddy wanted you to be; where Gary and Bobby always had some other extracurricular interests, you were always focused on the things your daddy made sound important. Of course, there were women and whatever it was you did in your time away from the ranch in high school and college, but that's just it, I can't elaborate on what you did in your free time because I don't know. You're my son and until recently I really didn't know very much about you at all, and that's my fault, and I'm sorry, I really am. I don't know whether my apology will mean anything to you, or whether you even want to hear it, but I feel like I need to tell you, just so you know. Where we go to from here is up to you, but if you'll let me, I want to begin to get to know you again; I want to elaborate on those brief moments you and I have had together in our lives, the moments where we've been able to speak candidly and closely with each other".

Trying her best to explain herself, Miss Ellie remained clueless as to whether she was helping or hindering the situation, because the room remained silent and both JR and Jock had mastered the art of maintaining a neutral façade. Sue Ellen looked hopeful, but she was probably the most impressionable person in the room, so her emotions weren't a good indicator of general atmosphere. Waiting silently for a response, any response, she felt ill; she had made a lot of mistakes, and so had Jock, but Jock was refusing to acknowledge any of his mistakes, so she was alone in her efforts to apologise for the past and create a better future, and that was unnerving. She regretted her mistakes and if she could she would go back and change them, but she couldn't, and it wasn't really up to her anymore whether she and JR did ever mend their relationship. In a funny way, she was in a situation with JR that he had been in before, but this time the roles were reversed. There had been a time in JR's life where he had been the one who had had to pour his heart out and grovel for forgiveness, and then wait anxiously for Sue Ellen to decide whether she believed him and wanted to give him another chance. Now, she was in JR's position, she had just told him something very personal and she was waiting for him to decide whether or not he was prepared to listen and work with her.

To be continued…


	534. Opening Up

**Dallas, Texas**

Sitting silently, with a stoic expression on his face, JR considered his mother's emotional outpouring. He was torn, on one hand, he did believe her, she wasn't the type of person to say things she didn't mean; on the other hand though, what did believing her have to do with anything? An apology didn't erase all of his bad memories and experiences and it certainly didn't neutralise his anger, hurt, or broken psyche. His mother meant well, he knew that much, but meaning well didn't fix everything and like he had told Sue Ellen many times before, it was going to take more than an apology to mend the relationship he had with his mother. Feeling Sue Ellen's hand in his, he looked at his wife and knew he had to say something though, even if he wasn't really sure what, so clearing his throat, he then muttered a few words, "well uh, thank you mama, I think you might actually mean what you just said…" Growing silent again as he acknowledged her apology, not even Sue Ellen's encouraging words and actions were enough to convince him to extend his own olive branch. He was still angry, he was still upset, and if he were to say anything more, those feelings would be hard to control. His mother's apologetic words were nice, but simply saying she regretted tossing him aside and never looking back didn't actually change the fact that she had done that. Likewise, it just didn't sit well with him that she was honestly excusing his father's expectations and parenting methods as just what was done back then, and that she really had the nerve to make it sound like just because he enjoyed the end result of his life as a Ewing that his feelings at the time didn't matter.

He hated feeling the way he did, he hated feeling vulnerable and sad, but even more so, he hated that in so many other contexts, he would be considered a whiny wuss. His father already thought Sue Ellen was making a big deal out of nothing and had already dismissed his attempts at talking about things like adults, so to open up even further in front of him now was extremely unappealing. Doctor Williams and Sue Ellen had taught him to break down his internal walls and talk about things, and with them he didn't find that to be too difficult anymore, but with other people who didn't understand the methods and reasons behind the art of talking, he found it very difficult to communicate. There was so much he wanted to say to his mother, but he didn't know how to. Out of respect he didn't want to shout at her and show her just how hurt he had been and how angry he still was, but at the same time he didn't feel comfortable saying it quietly, he didn't want to expose himself so completely in case it all went wrong, which could certainly happen with his father present. It was complicated and he didn't know what to say or how to say it, so apart from a few words, he stayed silent.

"I do, I really do. I'm sorry JR. I know this must be hard for you to hear, so I don't blame you for not saying more, but please, don't shut me out forever. I want things to change and I know they can if we talk about it and figure out how we move on from here…" Closing his eyes as he listened to his mother speaking again, he suddenly wished had had just shouted at her, not because he wanted to upset her or disrespect her, but because it was clear now that she was living in a fantasy world and in the majority of his life dealings, that just wasn't a level he operated on. Normally, he was a realist, and he found it difficult to accept that other people really didn't see things so harshly. Apart from when he was deliberately trying to create a world where everything was lovely and perfect, for example, when he was pursuing a woman, or telling John Ross a bedtime story, he didn't just think so optimistically and uncritically about things. Of course it was hard for him to hear his mother's apology, of course it was hard for him to confront all of the painful memories of his past, and of course he was finding it difficult to discuss everything. His memories weren't faded and barely analysed like his mothers were, they were old, but fresh, because he'd spent a lifetime living and reliving them. It had to be difficult for his mother to apologise and ask for his forgiveness and the opportunity to move on, but at the same time, to him, saying those things was the easy part and it seemed a bit presumptuous for her to assume it was appropriate to ask him to move on with their relationship already.

Like he had told Sue Ellen the previous evening, being realistic about the situation meant not envisioning that everything would be wrapped up in a perfect little package at the end of the conversation. Before any real forgiveness could occur, many painful memories would have to be dredged up, talked over, probably argued about, and then dealt with to the satisfaction of both sides. Then the real work would begin, because despite his wife and mother's desires, it was impossible to just conjure up a close, happy relationship out of thin air. He and his mother weren't close and honestly barely knew each other beyond discussions about his family or Ewing Oil, and no matter how hard they tried, it would take a long time to get to know each other properly. Then there was the other issue, he wasn't the one that needed to adjust his attitude, his mother had to do that, and that would be difficult to change after so many years, but it had to happen to create anything close to equality in regard to his position as a Ewing son. He wasn't sure any of that would happen though, not with what he was interpreting from his mother's words now. From his perspective it seemed like she was looking for a quick fix, unfortunately though, the situation didn't lend itself to that kind of solution.

Sighing to himself, he knew what he had to do. He hadn't wanted to be the one to start the conversation, but it seemed now that if he wanted any kind of genuine acknowledgement of just how deep his scars ran, he was going to have to be the one to bring attention to exactly what had shaped him into the man he was today. "It is hard mama; you have no idea just how hard. You weren't the small child who was tossed aside the minute something newer and shinier came along, never to be picked up again. You weren't the straight A's student that watched from the side-lines wondering why tossing a ball across a field, or barely scraping by with C's was more praiseworthy than your achievements. You weren't the one who did everything to please everyone yet never seemed to do anything worth acknowledging as anything more than exactly what was expected…" Starting using an even tone, he felt himself growing progressively more frustrated and upset as he spoke, and as he watched his mother, wife, and father's faces change as he continued to speak, he knew he finally had their attention. Refraining from speaking his mind because he didn't want to upset people just wasn't how he communicated best, and from now on, he was going to remember that; he was going to tell his parents exactly how he had felt during his lifetime as a Ewing and he wasn't going to feel guilty about it.

To be continued…


	535. Enough

**Dallas, Texas**

Letting out a loud "harrumph" and waving his hand in JR's direction, Jock's unsympathetic manner was obvious and it was clear he was nearing the end of his tether when it came to listening to his son's opinion regarding how his actions had affected him. "I don't believe this. JR, cut this melodramatic nonsense, it doesn't suit you at all. Nobody tossed you aside and you weren't treated differently to your brothers for negative reasons, if anything it was for your own good, because you had potential and someone needed to tap into it. It's not bad to be driven and successful. You were the oldest son, the Ewing heir, and we had high expectations of you, so what? Would you really rather have struggled through school and work? You're lucky your mind works in the way it's expected to and I don't think that's something to complain about, and it's certainly not something to start comparing to completely unrelated things like Bobby's sporting accomplishments, or Gary's laziness and lack of commitment to academics".

"I think you're suffering from selective memory and a bad case of self-pity. We praised you plenty of times and if you made any effort to get to know Bobby you would know he doesn't think he's superior at all, in fact he feels inadequate compared to you sometimes. You are both jealous of what comes naturally to each other and it's ridiculous; I can't believe how childish you two grown men can be sometimes. I spent plenty of time with you as a boy, as a teenager, and now as an adult, and if you take issue with the quality of that time then it's up to you to change it, not me. I happen to think we work well together at the office and I was hoping now that you're back in town for a while before you jet off again, we'd all get to spend some time together as a family. I think that says it all; I want a relationship with you as my son and John Ross as my grandson, but if you're going to whine and complain about everything past, present, and future every time we see each other, then I don't know what to do. As for all of this emotional gibberish you and your mama are passing back and forth regarding your relationship, if you want to keep doing that, go ahead, but don't expect me to participate next. I maintain I did a fine job parenting you, aside from not teaching you boundaries when it came to women and business, but we've dealt with that so I see no reason to discuss it again. Now, do you have anything enlightening to say, or is this all just a platform for you to air your grievances to a captive audience?"

Gripping JR's hand tightly and glaring at her father-in-law as he finally said something after a long silence in the conversation, Sue Ellen was ready to jump in and speak at any moment if JR wanted her to. JR and Miss Ellie seemed to understand the point of their get-together, however, Jock didn't, but before she told him to get out if he couldn't say anything nice, she wanted to give JR time to think and react as she didn't want to take control of the direction of the conversation before it was absolutely necessary. Feeling JR squeeze her hand back, she knew he had everything under control, and when he let out a loud sigh and then spoke, she knew he would need her at some point, but for now he was just fine handling things on his own. "Daddy, this is pointless, you're not understanding me at all; I'm not trying to whine and feel sorry for myself, and I'm not trying to be melodramatic in the way I tell you how I feel, I'm trying to be honest and explain my perspective, a lot of which was the perspective of a very young child. I don't even know how the hell we all got into this conversation, it sure wasn't my idea, but now that we're all here, it's certainly an opportunity to investigate things I've wondered about for years".

"To clarify my point in relation to your responses, I don't want to be Bobby or Gary, you're right in that I enjoy the position I am in in my own life, but dammit, there's a difference between wishing I had had the same quality of attention my brothers received and actually wishing I was them. This isn't about Bobby's trophies or Gary's bad grades, it's about the way you and mama reacted to those things in comparison to how you reacted to me, and how it made me feel then and how it continues to make me feel. I did everything and more than I was supposed to and expected to, but I barely received a pat on the back; in comparison, one of your other sons does something much less important or special and yet they receive a celebratory party and real, honest congratulations. Now, the party might be an exaggeration, but you know what I mean. You said it yourself, you treated me differently, what you mean though is you like Bobby best and everyone knows it, and I don't think mama would deny that Gary is her favourite, so naturally, that leaves me; I might be the eldest son, but I'm also the third wheel in this family. Like I said before, I'm not trying to be melodramatic, I'm just trying to explain how I feel, even if I have no idea why we're having this conversation. If you're not interested in talking any more though, that's fine, you're free to leave, you're not part of a captive audience, the door is right there", pointing at the wide doorway that separated the foyer and the living room, he remained silent as he responded to his father and then waited for him to stay or stand and leave.

"See there you go again, you're being dramatic and I've now learnt that you're impossible to talk to when you're like this. I'll see you in the office tomorrow morning, when you've cooled down a little…" putting his glass down on the table and standing, Jock addressed JR before looking to his wife to follow him, which she did, though he noticed that she didn't exactly stand in haste.

"JR, I meant what I said and I'd like to talk more, maybe we could discuss things alone together sometime…" Knowing she was in for an earful when she returned to Southfork as it was, Miss Ellie knew when to pick her battles and decided to leave with her husband now to avoid an even bigger argument later, however, before doing so, she knew she had to make an effort to smooth things over with JR. Her eldest son could be ruthless and unfeeling in business, but it appeared in his personal life he was really just human, and knowing that the human part of him was hurt, angry, and disappointed really pained her. She had had a big hand in making him how he was today and she knew now it was going to take more than a short apology to mend things and rebuild their relationship. "I'd like that mama, I'll call you..." listening to JR, she noted that he was leaving things open, but she didn't object, he had Sue Ellen to encourage him to make the call, and he probably did need time to process everything that had gone on. They had made some progress, they had at least spoken a little bit, and that was a start. Standing and touching JR's hand lovingly, she then gave Sue Ellen a short hug before turning and walking with her husband, son, and daughter-in-law toward the door so JR and Sue Ellen could see her and Jock out. She wasn't looking forward to another conversation with Jock that went nowhere because he wasn't interested in listening to anyone else's experience, but she was tired and emotionally drained, so she wasn't all that upset about leaving. There was hard work to be done with JR, but they had made a start and whether Jock was interested in making amends or not was irrelevant to her now; she had lost her son through her own actions a long time ago, but she could rebuild a relationship with him through her own actions too.

To be continued…


	536. Groundwork

**Dallas, Texas**

Tracing little circles on his chest with her finger, Sue Ellen smiled to herself as she watched her husband sleeping peacefully; he deserved a good night's sleep after the previous evening's events and it was nice to see him so relaxed. Of course, he wasn't relaxed because they had solved their issues with his parents and they were all one big happy family now, nothing was ever quite that simple, but he was relaxed nonetheless and knowing she had had even a small hand in making him that way pleased her. She knew her husband, it took a lot out of him to talk about his emotions, but he had done it and as a result he had made some progress with his mother and had begun to see who his father really was. Additionally, it was becoming clearer and clearer to her every day that he had really changed as a person when it came to their marriage. From the beginning of their relationship he had leaned on her for emotional support in parts of his personal and business life, except when he had pulled back because of how she had been affected by his problems. Now though, using what they had learnt in Doctor Williams' office they were able to talk completely openly and honestly together about everything, including his deepest personal insecurities. Doctor Williams had helped him to accept and speak aloud his own feelings, and while JR had never had a problem communicating when he didn't want to talk anymore, she did credit Doctor Williams for assisting them through a time in their marriage where a decision had to be made about who he chose to release his pent-up frustrations with. She couldn't say sex was a solution, because it wasn't, not long-term; the situation with his parents was the same now as it had been the previous evening, but at least she and JR were happy and comfortable with each other in their marriage. It was nice to feel needed and wanted emotionally, and a little bit selfishly too, she enjoyed the way JR expressed his need and want for her physically. She liked sex, she could admit that, and while in an ideal world there wouldn't be any need for comfort sex, she was glad that in the world she was in, she and JR had each other. JR was on a difficult path with his parents and neither of them were under any illusion that it was going to be easy to reconcile and grow closer, especially with Jock being so obstinate, but she had hope that things could and would change. Leaning forward to kiss JR's chest gently where she had been touching him with her finger, she then closed her eyes and relaxed into the soft sheets; it was still early and after a long night with her husband and in-laws and with a full day with her son ahead, she needed her rest.

A few hours later, after kissing his wife and son goodbye, JR left for work, and a few minutes after leaving his home, as he drove through Braddock, he sighed loudly to himself. In the past, he had been able to avoid allowing emotions to get to him, but for some reason now he didn't seem to be able to do that anymore. Sue Ellen had done as much as she could for him and he was very grateful for that, but she was only human and there was only so much help she could provide. He had really tried with his parents too, he had tried to be honest and communicate his feelings, and with his mother he had made a small amount of progress, but with his father, he had almost given up even trying. Emotionally he was stuck, but he was man enough to admit that in this case, he needed guidance from an outside source, so for possibly the first time ever, he was actually looking forward to taking a break from his day later to meet with Sue Ellen and Doctor Williams. He wasn't looking forward to the inevitable follow-up questions that would open their meeting, because he hadn't given any thought to making a friend for himself like Doctor Williams had wanted him to, however, he hoped that because he and Sue Ellen had somewhat accomplished the goal set for Sue Ellen, he'd be given some grace. Initially, he hadn't liked Doctor Williams style of 'help' very much, because he seemed to ask a lot of questions and have very high expectations for a man who essentially just sat back and judged without personally involving himself in the process that it took to achieve something, however, he was slowly beginning to see how his methods were helpful. The questions he asked did spark thoughts in him that he hadn't necessarily dwelled on before, and his assessment of situations as they unfolded, without actually involving himself, was helpful in the sense that he offered a good third-party perspective on the whole rather than a biased perspective on just a small part. He didn't expect the doctor to be able to fix his relationship with his parents, however, he was hoping he would have some idea of how to proceed from where he was. He was interested in hearing what he had to say about talking with his mother alone, because he really didn't want to make things worse than they already were, and as he was out of ideas for how to make his father understand his perspective, he was willing to listen to what the doctor had to say about that too.

Down the street, at Southfork, after an awkwardly quiet breakfast and a noticeably cold and distant goodbye between her grandparents when it came time for her grandfather to head off to the office, Lucy Ewing mumbled a few words to her grandmother and uncle about gathering her schoolbooks before disappearing upstairs. Looking down the hallway to make sure nobody was behind her, she then opened the door to one of the guest rooms and walked over to the nightstand to use the telephone, dialling JR and Sue Ellen's phone number and waiting patiently for someone to answer. Listening to the dial tone, she hoped that nobody at Southfork decided they wanted to make a call just now, because she had specifically chosen the guest room for its privacy and having someone else pick up the phone would defeat the purpose of her actions. She was allowed to make phone calls, that wasn't the issue, she just didn't want to have to explain to her grandmother or uncle why she was calling Sue Ellen to talk this early in the morning. Bobby had tried his best to distract her the previous evening, but she wasn't stupid or deaf, she knew something was going on with her grandparents, she'd heard bits and pieces of their arguments the past couple of days, and it was definitely not usual for them to disappear over to JR and Sue Ellen's house on such short notice. She knew not to blame herself, nobody had mentioned her name and nobody was treating her badly, but she couldn't help but be curious about what was going on and whether there was anything she could do to make things better. She was interested in seeing Sue Ellen and John Ross in general too though, she enjoyed her time with her aunt and little cousin and she was determined to hold Sue Ellen to her promise of spending time together even though they lived separately.

"Good morning, Ewing residence", answering the phone, hoping whoever it was could hear her over John Ross' enthusiastic toy xylophone performance, Sue Ellen smiled to herself and relaxed as she heard Lucy's voice on the other end of the line. "Good morning Sue Ellen, it's Lucy. I don't have very long to talk, Bobby's going to come looking for me if I'm not back downstairs soon. I just wanted to call to see if you were free this afternoon; there's something I want to talk to you about… and of course I want to see you and John Ross too…" Although Lucy wasn't giving too much away, Sue Ellen wasn't too worried about what it was she wanted to discuss, she had heard Lucy very distraught before and the tone she was using now didn't indicate she was upset, in fact, she sounded more curious than anything. "Well you're in luck; John Ross and I are free this afternoon. Come on over after school and you can tell me what's on your mind. For now though, my watch says you have thirteen minutes before you're late for class, so go get your things and save yourself detention and a lecture from your granddaddy about punctuality". Receiving a hurried, but spirited goodbye, she then hung up and knelt back down on the ground with John Ross; something was going on with Lucy, but until she told her all about it, she couldn't do much about it, and that was ok, she didn't need to control everything and she didn't need to have all the answers.

To be continued…


	537. Missing Out

**Dallas, Texas**

"Harve, tell me, what's all this nonsense about age discrimination? This damn agency and my HR department keep sending me resumes of men older than JR and I'm getting sick and tired of hearing that it's illegal for them to disregard those applications for no reason other than because they're not an ideal age. We're looking for a young, unattached man, someone who doesn't have a wife and children expecting him to be home every night, someone who can completely commit themselves to the lifestyle the position requires. Tell me there's some legal jargon we can say to applicants to indicate they are unsuitable for the job because they're too old, you know, something like they're 'overqualified in life experience', or more honestly, it's a job suited for a young, single man, for both believability of pre-arranged situations and the reality of life in Dallas. That's true you know, if I were a businessman being wined and dined by a Ewing Oil representative, I would believe some of those women were 'old friends' of Bobby's before I'd believe they were friends of mine; JR's another story, but that's JR himself, nothing to do with his age. Does that make sense? Ewing Oil has a nice little operation running and just because Bobby has decided he doesn't want to be a part of it anymore doesn't mean the position ceases to exist; I'm not interested in changing anything more than the name of the man Ewing Oil pays to be its roadman though. Now, tell me straight, because I'm sick of these damn HR people messing about, legally, how do I make it clear the role is for a young man?" Closing his eyes and rubbing his forehead, Jock sighed to himself as he waited for Harve Smithfield to respond to his questions. Nothing seemed to be going right lately and he wasn't happy about it, not one bit. First Bobby had announced his resignation from Ewing Oil, leaving him and JR scrambling to organize things in just a few weeks; then he had had his granddaughter put him in his place regarding his grandson; then he had had an earful from his wife and later JR and Sue Ellen about JR's supposed traumatising childhood; and now this. He was the president of a large, successful company, he was a busy man, he didn't have time to take on any more responsibility regarding recruitment than he and JR already dealt with in doing second interviews, re-checking references, and making final decisions. The sooner he could get an answer from Harve to pass on to his incompetent staff so he could stop dealing with the small details, the better; he paid his HR staff and an employment agency good money to do their jobs and he expected them to accomplish their end of the bargain.

"Well Jock, I'm afraid your people are right, if you look in the handbooks I put together for you a few years ago when the law changed, you'll see all of the categories you cannot discriminate based on, age being one of them, and while we're discussing it, sex is another one. It is illegal for you to discriminate based solely on age or sex, so you cannot instruct anyone to simply throw away resumes that indicate the applicant is over forty years of age, in fact, it's illegal for you to even ask an applicant their age. It is illegal too to disregard applications from women just because they are women, now I'm not saying you're doing that, but I thought I should remind you. Before you ask what you can do, I'll tell you, you can be more specific about what the requirements of the position are and rule out those applicants who do not meet the job criteria rather than the personal criteria which is legally irrelevant. For example, make it very clear that there is frequent travel involved, explain the types of interactions and responsibilities that are associates with the role, give as much detail as you can about the job in order to give potential applicants an idea of what it is they're applying for, and interviewees a sense of what is expected. The aim is to get people thinking about how the role will fit in to their existing personal responsibilities and to get them thinking about that before you ever have any contact with them. I think you'll find that the type of applicant you are looking for and the type of applicant you'd rather not have to spend time checking out actually sort themselves; it's when things are too general that people apply for things they and the employer later realise they're not suitable for. Did that answer your question? I'll have my secretary send you some information for you to read through".

As he listened to Harve speaking, Jock made small grumbling and grunting sounds as he agreed or disagreed with what he was saying, and as his lawyer finished speaking, he was silent for a moment before responding. "I don't like it; the government is always trying to make things 'better' but all these laws seem to do is get in the way of productivity. I'll talk to my people though, tell them what you said about changing the ad, hopefully that works. Thanks for the recommendations". Finishing the conversation with a few pleasantries, he then hung up the phone, scribbled a few notes down, called Julie in to bring him a fresh copy of the current job advertisement, and then stood to walk down the hall to JR's office. If they were going to redefine the job specifications, he'd like to get it done as quickly as possible and that meant instead of double handling the matter by making changes himself, handing them over to JR to check, and then editing them himself again, it was easier to instead just collaborate with JR to make one set of edits. Unfortunately, his effort to be inclusive and productive was going to have to wait, because after walking down the hall, knocking on JR's door, receiving no answer, and then entering anyway, the highlighted appointment in JR's calendar told him everything he needed to know about JR's priorities. Of course he wanted his son to be a good and honourable husband and father, but did he have to work on his personal life during work hours? It didn't matter to him that JR was technically taking an early lunch, so he wasn't actually working any less hours, his unavailability during the middle of the work day due to personal commitments wasn't appreciated. Turning and leaving JR's office, he walked back down the hall to his own office, sat down, and began to edit the job advertisement himself. It wasn't his fault JR wasn't present to participate and since he had other things to do later in the day, JR was just going to have to live with not having the first word.

To be continued…


	538. Plans of Action

**Dallas, Texas**

"You know what doc, I tried it your way and it didn't work. I told my daddy how I felt and it got me nowhere, and I told my mama how I felt and I received an apology, but it's not enough. Now I don't know what to do, and I hate that, I hate not being in control and I hate this feeling that I can't shake. You've damaged me. I used to be able to shut up and just get on with my life, without making a fuss, I accepted things as they were, Bobby was daddy's favourite, Gary was mama's favourite, and I was nobody's favourite; I was nobody's favourite son, and I was nobody's favourite brother. I knew it and I accepted it. Now though, you have me analysing and asking questions I don't even know I want the answers to anymore. You've also caused a lot of problems for me at work; daddy tries to keep our personal and professional lives separate, but it's obvious he's angry with me when he either growls about nothing, or he's completely silent, even when we need to talk. Then there's mama, she apologised and tried to explain, but damn it, I don't know whether I can just accept that and move on, it all feels so sudden and like I'm not really, truly getting what I deserve. I can't stand it, you're driving me insane; I hate that I am constantly questioning and second-guessing my thoughts and I hate that this is all affecting other parts of my life. I find myself wondering if I even want to forgive my parents and move on with my life with them; our relationship has been so distant for so long that I've gotten used to having my own space and dammit, I don't know if I'm selfless enough to actually want to spend more time with them. Maybe it's easier to go on holding a grudge, at least then I can maintain a comfortable distance when I want to. I don't know though, I don't know if I'm overthinking it, but if I am, it's your fault. You and your damn questions and challenges, they seem to make more of a mess than they fix".

Listening to JR's rant, Doctor Williams nodded, scribbled a few notes down, and murmured a couple of syllables to indicate he was listening. JR's mood was to be expected, he was frustrated with himself and the lack of obvious progress in the situation; what he wasn't giving himself enough credit for though was the progress he had made with his family. "Mhm, I hear you JR, and I'll accept that I prompted you to think about certain things in your life rather than just letting them be, however, I think your anger is misplaced. It's ok for you to feel angry, in fact, it's expected, but please, consider where your anger is being directed. I know that isn't what you want to hear, but I really think it will help you if you take a moment to breathe and sort through your feelings as they occur. You've made huge progress recently; a couple of months ago it seemed unthinkable to you when I suggested being completely honest about your feelings with your father like you were with Sue Ellen's mother, and until recently you and your mother had barely had any relationship at all, but you're talking openly and honestly now. Nothing happens overnight, I'm sure you understand that from your work at the office, things don't just fall into place, especially not big, complicated things; you have to put in a lot of effort, and very often, so does another party. You're making progress, I'm very proud of you, and you should be very proud of yourself too. As for what you were saying about holding grudges, I don't think you're being fair to yourself; you're making a lot of assumptions about what a future as a happy family looks like. Boundaries for adults is a whole separate topic and we can come to that when it's truly an issue for you, but for now, I think you're better off just dealing with your emotions and your past with your parents. Regarding how you actually deal with your parents now that you feel you have done what you can, again, I want you to just breathe and think about things for a moment. Your father sounds like he needs some time to just be, your mother on the other hand, she sounds like she's ready to talk, and I think you two could benefit from talking some more. I'm not saying you have to forgive or become best friends, now, or ever, but I do think you should talk. If you're up to it, I think you should call her, arrange a time and place for you to be alone together, without distractions, and I want you to make an effort and try to respond to her effort. Remember, it's ok to be angry and it's ok if you don't immediately change sides, your feelings are completely valid, whatever they are, but there is no harm in listening and taking the opportunity to discuss the past".

Watching JR as he silently considered his words again, he also observed Sue Ellen; she was looking at her husband lovingly, and she was touching him very gently and supportively; she truly was the best person JR could have around right now. "Hm", hearing JR murmur a small sound, and watching him as he pouted slightly, he knew what he had said had gotten through to him. JR Ewing liked to grumble and move his feelings on to other people to deal with, but underneath his diversion tactics he was human, he felt emotion, and he ultimately he wanted to feel calm, happy, and free, but also in control. By talking to his parents openly and honestly, he had no doubt that eventually he could feel that way. It wouldn't be easy, but it was possible.

**Seattle, Washington**

Staring out the window at the planes taking off and coming in to land, the handsome, curly haired young man felt more like a little boy than the adult he supposedly was. Until earlier in the day, he had never even been to an airport, let alone actually flown anywhere, so now, after having flown from Anchorage to Seattle, and with another flight ahead of him, he was in an excitable mood. Giddiness over having one of his childhood wishes fulfilled wasn't the image he wanted to portray when he arrived in Dallas, but for now, surrounded by people he didn't know and who were taking no notice of him, he wasn't too concerned about feigning indifference about planes and the whole aviation experience.

An hour later, after wandering around the gift shops and eateries, the novelty of the enclosed airport began to wear off, and as he began to come down a little from the high of his first experience out of the Alaska, the feeling of anxiety related to the unknown began to set in. He was nervous about finally meeting the family he had heard about throughout his life, though his nervousness wasn't because he was afraid of them or afraid of how he would come across, it was simply because there was a lot riding on the Dallas Ewings accepting him as part of their family. He had left Alaska in a bit of a hurry after a strong disagreement with his father, and without giving his sister much of an explanation, so he had a feeling that if he were to return too soon, they wouldn't exactly welcome him back with open arms. Dallas was his destination for now and he planned to stay there for the foreseeable future if everything went smoothly, but if that didn't happen, he didn't really know where he would go next. He needed a job and he wanted a family, and in theory, Dallas seemed to offer both, in a different way than Alaska did. He didn't enjoy and wasn't particularly good at manual labour, but he did like to think he knew a thing or two about oil and the oil industry. In his mind, it all made sense; Jock Ewing may have started out in the fields, but his real fortune had been made in an office somewhere in downtown Dallas. Similarly, his father, Jason Ewing, had made a decent living from a hard day's manual labour, but at the end of the day, he wasn't the one with an empire to his name or anything remotely resembling an empire to show off to the world. He loved his father, but he had decided a long time ago that following in his footsteps to pursue a life of long, physically exhausting days and nights was not what he wanted to spend the rest of his life doing. Then, recently, after researching the other half of the Ewing family, he thought he finally had an idea about where he saw his life heading, and now, it was time to take a chance and see whether there was any chance of making his desire a reality. "Flight ASA658 to Dallas is now boarding at gate three; passengers in rows fifteen through twenty-three please make your way to the boarding gate", hearing the announcement over the loudspeaker, he took a deep breath, stood, and walked over to where the line to board was forming. It was time, and he was ready.

To be continued…


	539. Family Secrets

**Dallas, Texas**

"…you said we would always be open and honest with each other and I could come to you with anything, and since grandma and granddaddy were at your house last night I was hoping maybe you would tell me what's going on. I want to help you know, but I can't when nobody tells me anything. I'm sure Bobby hears the same things I do, but he treats me like a child sometimes, he wouldn't even acknowledge the weird atmosphere at breakfast when I asked him about it when he was driving me to school this morning. He said he hadn't noticed anything and I shouldn't concern myself with adult things now because there will be plenty of years in the future when I can't avoid adult realities. I think that's stupid, just because I'm young doesn't mean I'm deaf or blind, so I don't know how he expects me to ignore the things I hear and see, and besides, who said wanting to know what goes on in the family is just something for adults to be concerned about? I'm a Ewing just as much as he is and I think I have a right to be treated just like any other Ewing. It's not fair for Bobby, or granddaddy, or even grandma to say it's not my business; I live at Southfork, I hear and see everything, it affects me, it is my business. I deserve to know and I want to know".

Pushing John Ross back and forth on the swing in the park and listening to Lucy's complaints, Sue Ellen had to exercise great self-control to stop herself from laughing at the mental comparison she was making between JR, Jock, and Lucy. She knew her niece wouldn't appreciate her not taking things as seriously as she felt they were and she really didn't want to hurt her feelings even more than they already were. Just because she was maintaining a composed façade though, didn't mean she didn't find the situation entertaining, even if it was sad and understandably frustrating. Lucy was a Ewing, there was no doubt about that; she liked to be in control and when she didn't get her way, she didn't just accept it, she pouted, complained, and demanded she be brought into the inner circle, just like Jock and JR did. In reality, a petulant child wasn't endearing, especially when the reason she was sulking was in relation to something that was understandable from an adult perspective, however for Sue Ellen there was something amusing about the way Lucy expressed her frustration, she was so clearly her grandfather's granddaughter and her uncle's niece. From Lucy's perspective though, it was a serious topic, and as a person who had been through more than enough therapy to know the importance of having one's opinion acknowledged and listened to, Sue Ellen knew it was best to actually listen and respond empathetically to her niece rather than argue, or simply nod and focus on her amused thoughts.

"Oh Lucy, it's not how you think it is. I don't think Bobby is trying to treat you like a child, and I promise, I'm not either, it's just some things are private and it's not up to one person to make it public. The reason your grandma and granddaddy came over last night is between them and JR, and while yes, you deserve to live in a home where you can spend time without worrying about the state of the family and where you are regarded as an equal, you also have to think about what others deserve, namely, privacy. Think of it this way, would you be happy with me if I told Miss Ellie, Jock, Bobby, or JR all about what you and I talk about together? I don't think you would, because you come to me to talk in private about your private thoughts and feelings. With that being said, there are some things that are told privately that need to be shared with another person in order to do the right thing, like when I spoke with Miss Ellie to arrange for you to see Doctor Lacey. That was because I cared, and I know you care now too, but what's going on now really isn't something you need to be concerned about, you just have to understand that".

"What happened last night was simply that your grandma and granddaddy needed to talk to JR privately, and as you picked up on, it didn't go as planned. I can't tell you why that is, it's not my information to share, but it's also not Bobby's information to share, mostly because he wasn't there and he isn't involved. I also say this not as an adult, but as a member of the Ewing family, it's not something you have to worry about, they're not arguing about you and nobody wants to place the burden of those disagreements on your shoulders, it's not your responsibility. Your grandma and granddaddy have disagreed on things before and they will do so again many times in the future, it's all part of being human, but their disagreements don't mean they love each other any less or there are going to be any huge changes in the family. It's just like when you're upset with somebody, for that little while it seems like the biggest, most dramatic thing in the world, but eventually something happens and everything comes back into perspective again, and then you return to a more balanced level of emotion".

"I know you care, I love that you care, and I am very proud of the things you do when you care, but this just isn't a situation you can involve yourself in and fix. You did this family a very big favour while JR and I were away in Colorado; you told your granddaddy some home truths about his relationship with John Ross, and you worked very practically to demonstrate how his actions could change things. I don't know if I ever thanked you for that, so I will now, I am very grateful to you for caring about John Ross and his place in the Ewing family. You have to believe Bobby and me now though, the things that are going on between JR, Jock, and Miss Ellie are very complex and no one but them can truly comprehend the enormity of the situation, and no one but them has the power to change the situation. I am JR's wife and even I can only really fill a supporting role; you as Jock and Ellie's granddaughter and JR's niece just aren't equipped to deal with what's going on. It has nothing to do with you being a child, though your age does factor into it; it's to do with experience mostly. I'm sorry I can't explain more than that, but like I said before, it's private. Does any of that make sense to you?"

Stepping back to allow the swing John Ross was in to slow down naturally, Sue Ellen turned to Lucy and looked her in the eye as she finished speaking. She hoped her niece would understand what she was trying to say, she was trying to be as honest as she could be, but it was tough; Lucy could be stubborn, just like the rest of the Ewings, and to a stubborn person an explanation sometimes just wasn't enough to sway an opinion.

To be continued…


	540. Ewing Miscommunication

**Dallas, Texas**

"I'm sorry sir, Mr Ewing is not available at present. Can I take your name, company name, and contact number and give him a message?" Listening to the lady's pleasant voice on the other end of the line, Jack Ewing leaned against the wall next to the payphone as he silently contemplated her words, and after a few moments, he then responded, "huh, is that so?" before pausing to think about his next move. If his research over the past few hours was correct, he had come to Dallas at just the right time if he was serious about pursuing a future with Ewing Oil, the company his father had helped establish but currently had no claim on. It appeared that Ewing Oil was advertising a vacancy and it wasn't hard labour, in fact, reading between the lines of the neatly crafted job description, it didn't really sound all that hard period. Of course he'd never introduce himself as a man looking for an easy job, that would do him no favours, especially with a hardworking man like Jock Ewing, however, not spending his days from sunrise to sunset drilling for oil did sound like bliss to him, he couldn't deny that. His sister Jamie and his father had always been the ones that were genuinely interested in oil itself, he had really just worked in the industry because he needed a job, it was all he really knew, and compared to other industries, it paid well. The head office of an oil company was much more his style and if he could get his foot in the door, he was sure he could prove it was what he was most suited to too.

"Yes sir", hearing the woman speaking again, his thoughts were suddenly brought back to the present; Jock wasn't available and he was being asked to leave a message, the problem was, he wasn't from a company and there really wasn't a message he could give to the secretary to correctly convey why he had phoned. "No, no message, however this is kind of a pressing matter, so perhaps you could pencil me in for an appointment sometime today? I'm in the area so whenever he is free should be fine", trying his luck, knowing the answer would probably be something to the effect that 'Mr Ewing doesn't meet with unknown people who walk in off the street', he then waited for a response.

"I'm sorry sir, I didn't catch your name or which company you were calling from. May I record those details and I'll consult Mr Ewing's calendar and get back to you regarding a potential meeting, or to arrange for a more appropriate member of our staff to contact you", receiving a more polite reply than he had anticipated, he was once again a bit flustered when it came to formulating his own response. He had been naïve to think he could just call through to the president of a company like Ewing Oil, but stupidly he hadn't really considered what to do when inevitably his call was vetted and shuffled into a pile of other non-urgent messages. Thinking about his current living and contact circumstances and the reason why he was trying to contact his uncle, he decided it wasn't worth trying to get his message across via a few scribbled notes on a memo pad. For all he knew his uncle didn't even know he existed, so to leave a message saying to call him at a motel in the suburbs would probably be dismissed as nonsense anyway.

Rubbing his forehead as he contemplated his next move, he then took a deep, resigned breath and then spoke, "you know what, this is really more of a personal matter anyway, I'll see if I can contact him at home. Thanks for your help". Listening to the confused secretary's quick goodbye, he then hung up and leaned back against the wall next to the payphone. In hindsight, it seemed showing up in the office and flashing a flirty smile and his passport may have been a better option, however, it wasn't the option he had chosen and he had to live with that. Living with his decision to call rather than appear and hope his uncle wanted to see him wasn't the end of the world though; his comment about trying to reach Jock at home may have been impromptu and not particularly well thought out, but it was worth a try.

Thirty-three floors above street level, unaware of the conversation that was going on between his secretary and his long-lost nephew, Jock Ewing poured himself a large bourbon and branch, grabbed a red pen and the reports he needed to look over, and then reclined in his large, comfortable leather chair and began to read. After a couple of minutes of reading through the information JR had collated and analysed for him to review, he sighed to himself in frustration. JR was damn good at his job and frankly, he wanted to invite him in to have a drink and discuss just how much money they could potentially make if they followed the plans he had outlined, but he was also a stubborn man and he couldn't just forget everything else that was going on.

He was trying hard to keep things professional between him and JR when it came to business, because they were business partners as well as father and son, but he couldn't pretend that their argument outside of the office hadn't happened and hadn't offended him. He wasn't like the rest of the family when it came to whining about emotional damage, he just didn't see the point, but he also couldn't pretend it didn't anger and hurt him when JR accused him of such low actions. He wasn't a monster, he did love his son and he thought he knew that, though obviously he didn't and he was looking to pick apart every little bit of the past in order to make himself look like the victim, despite the fact that he was set to receive everything a Ewing son should want and aspire to have. He didn't understand JR, he really didn't. Finishing his drink as he considered his eldest son, he slammed the glass down on his desk and glared at the report in his hand. Why JR had to be so whiny, accusatory, pushy, and immature in his personal life was a mystery to him, especially since when it came to business he was so good at what he did and had no problem acting like an adult. Until JR could learn to act like a grown man in his personal life too though, he was going to continue to keep his distance; he had better things to do with his free time than to rehash the unchangeable past and he wasn't going to waste his time entertaining silly, biased opinions.

To be continued…


	541. Uncle Bobby

**Dallas, Texas**

Squinting to get a better view, Sue Ellen smiled to herself as she drove up the long Southfork driveway, stopping just before the rectangular patch of concrete where Bobby was pulling a very happy John Ross around in a red wagon. As JR's wife she was a little miffed that Bobby seemed to have endless amounts of free time on his hands during the middle of the week when JR was always busy and Jock had little tolerance for personal activities during business hours, but as John Ross' mother, she was happy to see her son enjoying time with his uncle. It was good for John Ross to spend time with his extended family and since Jock had only recently taken an interest in being hands-on with his grandson, she was grateful to Bobby for being so keen to play with him at family gatherings, because not only was he family, he was also male. She hadn't intended for her or her son's lives to be so insular, but somehow it had happened and apart from JR, Bobby, and Jock, John Ross didn't really have any close adult males in his life. She didn't think he really suffered because of it, because almost everyone who spent any time with him doted on him, regardless of their sex, but thinking ahead, she knew one day he would might have questions that were best answered by a man and it would benefit him if he had strong men to look to in his life. As young as he was now though, and for the few activities he had made it clear he genuinely loved doing, he was lucky, because for the most part, in the Ewing family the women knew just as much as the men did, and vice versa. He didn't have to wait for Jock or Bobby to take him down to the stables if he wanted to see the horses, and he didn't need to wait for his parents, grandmother, or cousin to read him a story if he was sleepy, everyone was capable of playing with him and taking care of most of his basic needs. That didn't mean everyone played an equal role in raising him, life wasn't that easily dividable, and even if it were it wouldn't be fair to expect everyone to contribute equally to the workload in that came with taking care of her and JR's child, but as it were, she did think things were fairly good. Life wasn't perfect, JR had a lot of things to talk through with his parents, and Jock needed to change his entire attitude toward his family so he could start to see them as who they were as people rather than characters in his imagination, but as dysfunctional as they were she had hope and loved being a Ewing.

Parking on the long driveway rather than on the concrete outside the garage, her smile widened and her heart swelled as she stepped out and was welcomed by a happy clap and a few mumbled "mama" sounds from her son as Bobby turned and slowed the little wagon so he was facing her. Her voluntary work didn't take up too much of her time, so in reality she hadn't been away from John Ross for more than a few hours, but from the way she felt and the way he reacted to seeing her again, it felt like much longer. "Hello sweetheart, I missed you, it looks like uncle Bobby has been taking good care of you while I've been gone though. Did you have fun together?" rushing over to pick him up and cuddle him for a little bit, she smiled warmly at Bobby before speaking and looking between the two of them for an answer. Feeling John Ross squirming in her arms after a few seconds of being pulled away from all the fun of the wagon, she had to agree with Bobby when he spoke, "I think you have your answer right there". Laughing, she knelt down, sat him back in the metal tray and then walked alongside Bobby as he started the fun ride again and began to explain what she had missed.

"He loves this old thing. I was in one of the storage sheds out on the ranch earlier and there it was, just waiting for the next little Ewing to enjoy it, so I dusted it off, brought it up to the house to show mama and here we are. It used to be mine, then it was Lucy's, and now it's his. I think he didn't really know what to make of it at first, it's bumpier than driving in the car, and he's never ridden a horse before, but it didn't take him long to decide he likes it, even if he doesn't really understand it. Before you ask too, mama is here, she hasn't just left John Ross with me; she's inside discussing meal options with Teresa, she wasn't expecting me home for lunch but insisted I stay since I'm here now; who am I to say no to that kind of invitation?" Listening to Bobby explaining things, Sue Ellen's mood dropped a little as he smiled boyishly and continued to pull John Ross around. On one hand she loved that her brother-in-law was a thoughtful man, finding one of his old toys he could have been selfish and not told anybody about it, or oblivious and not considered how it could be used now, but instead he had been thoughtful and tidied it up for the current youngest Ewing to use. On the other hand though, it saddened her that his relationship with Miss Ellie was so easy and loving; that's all she wanted for JR and all JR wanted himself, but it was proving to be extremely difficult to get to that point. She would never think badly of Bobby himself for accepting the love his parents freely gave him though, he was just as entitled to that love as JR was, and in reality he probably had no idea how good and easy his home life was, so he had no reason to analyse the situation like she did.

"That's really nice of you Bobby, thank you", looking at him as she spoke, she hoped her tone sounded upbeat; she was trying not to let her sadness about JR's relationship with Miss Ellie overshadow her happiness about John Ross' happiness, but to so quickly move between emotions was tough. Luckily, John Ross provided the perfect distraction from her thoughts as he discovered the consequence of banging his hands against the sides and base of the metal wagon; he loved music, but more than that sometimes she thought he really just loved noise. Smiling as Bobby took it all in stride and continued with his loop, her mind turned to the other topic that regularly appeared when she thought about her brother-in-law; he would make a wonderful husband and father one day, and while she didn't want to play secret matchmaker again, when a more transparent opportunity arose, she wouldn't hesitate to strike. She would never interfere the way she had with Jenna Wade, that kind of effort made her feel dirty, but she saw no harm letting Bobby know the next time she met a lovely, single woman. He didn't have to do anything with her information if he didn't want to, she just wanted to help him find the happiness she had with JR and John Ross; being part of a loving family was nice and she wanted other people to experience it. Turning around as she heard the sliding door opening, her thoughts changed again as she saw Miss Ellie emerging from the house and visibly brightening as she saw the three of them on the driveway. It was nice to be a part of a small family, but she truly valued her larger family too, especially when all was good. Jock's return home later would probably bring more drama and hostility to the ranch, but for the few hours while he was still at work, everything was tranquil.

To be continued…


	542. Dread and Anticipation

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR?" reaching out and taking her husband's hand to stop his pacing, Sue Ellen took a step forward and closed the gap between them, giving him a soft kiss before pulling away and looking him in the eye. "It's going to be fine. Your mama is coming over to talk, she knows the situation and where you stand on it, and she knows she's the one that needs to put forth the most effort to change things. You've already moved past the most awkward part, and with your daddy not present to say something mean and unhelpful I think you stand a chance at making further progress toward the resolution and commitment for a different future that you deserve. I'm proud of you for talking, even when you didn't want to, and I love you, please remember that", holding eye contact with him until she received a mumbled "I know", in response, she then leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you, and I love you too", hearing his barely audible words as she held him tightly, she felt both happy and sad. She felt incredibly blessed to finally be in a position where she and JR could talk about their emotions, but she was also sad that he had such a hard time communicating his feelings with other people, because in his experience and from what he had been taught, it wasn't something men did and even when they did nobody listened.

It was nice that JR and Miss Ellie were finally going to have a chance to speak with each other privately, but it was maddening that it had taken more than three decades for everything to fall into place in a way where JR had even half a chance of building a proper relationship with his mother. Forgiving his mother and allowing her into his life to prove she could show him the love he deserved wouldn't be the end of JR's personal problems though; Jock was an issue all on his own and with his stubbornness and negative attitude neither she nor JR were under any illusions that it would be quick, easy, or even possible. They had to try something though, doing nothing meant nothing would change and that wasn't healthy; JR needed to know his parents loved him, thinking otherwise was slowly tearing him apart. He was a powerful, commanding man in business and when challenged he wouldn't hesitate to disregard morality and do something that would ensure he and Ewing Oil remained at the top. In his personal life though, with all the progress he had made with Doctor Williams, it was difficult to go back to being cold and selfish; he deserved love and he wanted love, but just because he had changed and wanted something different to what he had didn't mean everyone else had or did.

Staying embraced in a tight hug for a little while, they eventually came apart, and after one more short, but loving kiss, they both knew it was time for them to separate for the evening. She had arranged to vacate her own home and take Lucy to the roller rink for a few hours in order to give JR and Miss Ellie some time to talk in private, and make sure Lucy didn't spend her evening wondering what was going on with her grandmother, or having to listen to her grandfather's ranting about family appreciation. The meeting between JR and Miss Ellie was all their own doing though; she had just arranged things around their plans. "I should get going, your mama will be over any minute, and Lucy will be bouncing off the walls if I make her wait any longer", walking over to the table in the foyer, she then grabbed her purse and walked back to him, smiling as he finally spoke in a normal tone, "I'll see you to your car". There were times when he wouldn't stop talking, and there were times when he was a man of few words, the way he was now was the latter, but that was ok, she knew he meant well, he was just lost in his own mind. She hoped being in a thoughtful mood meant he would be inclined to listen to his mother, but she wasn't sure it did, she couldn't do any more than she was already doing though, she had to stand back a little and allow JR and Miss Ellie to figure things out on their own. "Thank you", responding, she relaxed into him as he placed a hand on the small of her back and then walked with her out to her car.

Down the street, at Southfork, Lucy Ewing tied her long, blonde hair in a ponytail before running down the hall to check on Bobby's progress; she was excited to go skating and she wouldn't have him slowing them down because he wasn't prepared. Family dinner at Southfork had been another quiet affair, everyone had done a good job at taking an interest in her day and her plans for the evening though; Bobby so much so that she had invited him to join her and Sue Ellen, though she hadn't really expected him to accept her invitation, lately he never did. She loved her uncle Bobby and she loved spending time with him, but his job kept him away from Dallas a lot, and when he was in town, he quite often he spent the night away from Southfork, dating, whatever that meant nowadays, because it sure didn't mean he had a serious girlfriend, his dates all had different names. Whatever it was he did with his free time she was glad he was choosing to spend it with her, because she had missed his attention. With everything that was going on at Southfork too, not that she knew exactly what that was, she was glad to have the opportunity to get away from the house and have a little fun.

To be continued…


	543. Jack

**Dallas, Texas**

"Mr Ewing?" cautiously knocking on the office door, Teresa waited for her employer to respond and invite her in before she entered the room. She wasn't blind or deaf, she had picked up on the tense atmosphere at Southfork recently and with Mr Ewing being the only member of the Ewing family home she didn't want to do anything that would put her on the receiving end of his bad mood. "Mm?" meeting his eye as he looked up at her from his leather recliner, she relaxed a little; he seemed more thoughtful and lonely than grumpy and that was good because it made her job easier. "I'm sorry to disturb you sir, but you have a visitor, he says he's family, and he has a passport that says as much…" she really wasn't sure what to do about the handsome young man who had appeared at the door a few minutes ago and she hoped Jock would interrupt her speaking and give her a direction. The Ewings were wealthy people, they weren't listed in the phonebook and they didn't usually invite strangers into their home, but there was something about the man's appearance and manner that she found endearing, and with the passport he'd given her to verify his claim, she had a strong feeling that turning him away would not be a good idea.

"Family? What family? You know the Ewing family, we're all right here in Dallas, apart from Gary I suppose, I don't know where the heck he is nowadays, it's not him is it? What was the name on the passport?" listening to Teresa speaking, Jock's interest was piqued, and without thinking too much about his own personal safety if the visitor was some dangerous lunatic, he stood and started walking toward the door, looking back at his maid to follow him and answer his questions en route. "No sir, it's not Mr Gary. His name is…" overestimating the amount of time it took to walk between the downstairs office and the foyer, Teresa's response quickly became redundant, because walking around the corner, he came face-to-face with a young man who without even needing to see his passport, was quite clearly Jason's son.

"Good evening sir, I'm Jack Ewing…" Using the manners he hadn't had much use for drilling for oil, but sure came in handy when trying to get ahead with his parents, sister, and the women he dated, he nodded at his uncle and looked for some kind of sign to continue speaking, though before he could, Jock completed his sentence for him, "…Jason's son". Taking note of the tone his uncle used and his facial expression as he spoke, his nervousness lessened a bit. Jock Ewing had to be a tough, powerful, controlling man, he was the president of a large, successful company and the patriarch of a large family, that didn't come easy and wasn't easy to retain, however from his demeanour, it didn't seem that that's all he was. From what he could tell, Jock Ewing was glad to see him, his nephew, Jason's son, and that truly was a weight off his shoulders. "Yes sir. It's a pleasure to finally meet you after all these years, my daddy's told me all about you, and him, and the old days, wildcatting, and even before that, your lives together as brothers. It's nice to put a face to the name in the stories, the pictures my daddy has are few and far between. The stories though, they paint you as larger than life, and I have to say, you don't disappoint; the way you strode in here a minute ago, you command attention, just like my daddy said…" Deciding to make the most of the slightly friendly greeting he had received a moment ago, it wasn't long before he knew he needed to stop talking before he made a fool of himself; a little bit of flattery was nice, but too much would make him look insincere or obsessed, even if it was well-intentioned.

Listening and watching as his nephew babbled on, Jock's earlier glum mood began to improve. The boy was nervous, that much was clear, and if they were going to have any kind of future together they would have to work on teaching him how to conduct himself, even when he wasn't totally at ease, but even with his nervous chatter, he liked him. Firstly, appearance-wise he reminded him a lot of his older brother Jason, and that was a nice thing, family meant a lot to him, even family he hadn't seen in far too long; and secondly, because after being abandoned by his immediate family for the evening, it was nice to be around someone so glad to see him. "Well boy, nice to meet you too. Come on through, I'll buy you a drink and you can tell me all about my brother. You really are the spitting image of him", waving his nephew into the living room, he felt better than he had in days. With Ellie, JR, and Sue Ellen in his ear about reliving the past, Lucy's well-intentioned, but self-centred stories, and Bobby's lack of presence at the office or at home lately, his mood had been affected negatively more than he had realised; he was upset with his family, but he was also lonely without them around. With his nephew present and eager to listen and praise him though, he felt wanted and important again, and he was going to make the most of it. He was the president of Ewing Oil and the patriarch of the Ewing family, he was wealthy and people envied what he had, in all aspects of his life, but tonight, before Jack had shown up, none of that had really mattered all that much. He still had Ewing Oil, that much was a given, but his family had all chosen each other over him and that was not something he was likely to forget anytime soon, especially if Jack turned out to be as good a listener as he was a babbler. He didn't have to completely trust Jack, he wasn't committing to anything with him, he just wanted someone to listen to him, and his nephew seemed eager to do just that, so what did he have to lose?

To be continued…


	544. Blame

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR, you have to talk to me. You have to tell me what you're thinking, otherwise you're going to continue to be angry with me and I'm not going to have any idea why. I apologised for what I think are my biggest mistakes, but you're still holding a grudge and I don't know why. Please, talk to me". Sitting silently, JR repeated his mother's words in his mind before turning his thoughts to Doctor Williams and what he had told him about making an effort to respond to his mother's effort to engage him in conversation; for anything to change he had to be a participant, not a spectator. It was ok for him to be angry, his feelings were completely valid, whatever they were, but there was also no harm in listening and taking the opportunity to discuss the past. Tilting his glass and watching the brown liquid swirling around inside, he considered how to respond to her prompt; he didn't have to pretend everything was fine, but he did have to say something. Sighing heavily, he swallowed the contents of his glass and placed it down on the side table before looking at his mother and breaking the silence.

"Mama, I don't blame you or hate you for allowing daddy to take me under his wing and teach me the business, I'm sure you know my feelings about Ewing Oil, for all the grief it's given me I do love the oil business and I wouldn't want to be doing anything else. What I do blame you and him for and find it difficult to understand and even consider forgiving you for is how you let him treat me and how you treated me outside of business, alone and in comparison to Gary and Bobby. I was important when it came to being daddy's heir and the future president of Ewing Oil, but the minute the focus moved away from business into a personal sphere, I was either forgotten or treated completely unequally for no reason, and I'm angry about that, I have been for a long time. Do you know how it feels to be a young boy and to want to try to do something different but be told you have no time for such nonsense, only to watch your brothers do exactly the same thing without issue? Or to work hard at something and achieve greatness only to have your achievement overshadowed by something miniscule and insignificant? Do you know how it feels to have the one thing you were promised was to be yours and yours alone slowly chipped away at and given to your brother for nothing? To see the privileges you had to work hard for given out as if they were rights? Do you know how it feels to regarded as useful for only one thing, to have the responsibility and expectation of that weighing on your shoulders all the time, and have to fight every step of the way to move even an inch out of that box? Do you know what it's like to make a few mistakes and have your world collapse around you and have nowhere and no one to turn to? I don't think you do, and that's the problem; you never see things from my perspective, you never have. Clearly I was very young when you stopped showing any care for my wellbeing, because I don't remember the last time you treated me even remotely like you treat Gary and Bobby. My memories of being a boy aren't the best when it comes to parental love, and being a father myself now, that's not good enough. It's not enough for you to just apologise for your behaviour and it's too much to expect me to just forgive you and move on like nothing happened; it's not that simple and I want you to understand that before asking me what you can do to stop me from holding a grudge".

"I don't hate you or daddy as people and I'm not so self-absorbed that I can't admit that I've made mistakes myself, but I do hate the way I was and still am treated and I do blame you and daddy for a lot of the reasons behind why I feel the way I do. I blame you, I blame daddy, I blame myself, and I can't just move on to the forgiveness stage, it's just not who I am. I need someone to blame, I need someone I can pin my thoughts and feelings on, I need there to be a reason for things taking place, and I need there to be some kind of consequences for the injustices in my life. I don't know how Sue Ellen forgave me for my mistakes, it's hard as hell to just forgive and move on without dwelling on the negatives, it's not something I think I can do. I need you to change and stop treating me like a second-class citizen, but more than that, I think I need you to go back and change the past, which I know is ridiculous because nobody has that power, so I'm setting myself up for disappointment…"

"Anyway, I don't know if I'm making any sense, Doctor Williams told me to just talk and tell you how I feel, so I'm trying, but it's damn hard. This frustration had been building inside me for decades and it's not easy to put it in to words to communicate to you, let alone actually tell you exactly what you can do to turn the situation around". Thinking about it, he knew it was also difficult because he didn't have anyone guiding his thoughts; he hated Doctor Williams sometimes, he was nosy as hell, but the man did seem to understand the human psyche well and was good at asking the right questions to lead a conversation. In contrast, he was just voicing his thoughts haphazardly and hoping his point was getting through to his mother. What he needed from her was more than words though, he needed to see actions and real changes and have someone erase all of his bad memories, but he wasn't sure that was possible. His mother didn't seem to quite understand how deeply her words and actions had cut him and how much it was going to take to 'fix' the situation, worse than that though was the absolute understanding of the past as something that was unable to be changed. No matter how much he wanted to forgive and forget, he couldn't, and he was beginning to realise it was difficult to deal with anything personal alone. He hated how weak and pathetic he felt; JR Ewing was strong, powerful, and in control, but he could be taken down by a conversation with his mother? It sounded ridiculous, but he was beginning to realise it was true. He had agreed to have a conversation alone with his mother, but now that he was actually in the moment, he wished he hadn't. He wasn't sure what the conversation could really accomplish, he had no direction and had just admitted that he wasn't sure he could ever forgive his parents. What he did know was he was angry, hurt, confused, and in need of some kind of guidance; he probably needed Doctor Williams' advice, but he sure as hell wasn't going to admit that aloud.

To be continued…


	545. Family Night

**Dallas, Texas**

Taking a large sip of his drink, Jack coughed loudly as the brown liquid met his taste buds and slid down his throat; he was no novice drinker, but he'd never had anything quite like the burning drink his uncle Jock called bourbon and branch. He was much more of a beer man himself, it was all he had ever really known and he wasn't sure he liked his uncle's choice of drink very much. He wasn't going to make a fuss though, he didn't want to start off on the wrong foot with his uncle, he wanted him to like him and want him to stay, and he sensed that with powerful men like Jock Ewing, playing the yes-man role for a while was necessary. It wasn't too difficult for him to do that though, embarrassingly, he was actually a bit in awe of the empire his uncle had built for himself and he was genuinely very interested in seeing the old family pictures of his uncle and father, and hearing the stories Jock had to tell. He wasn't blinded by his excitement though, even with most of his attention going toward his uncle, he was still able to assess his surroundings, and he was still able to conclude that something odd was going on at Southfork. From everything he knew, the whole Ewing family lived at Southfork, but looking around and listening out, it appeared that apart from his uncle and the maid, the large house was empty, and for a Thursday evening that seemed strange to him. He wasn't going to ask what was going on though, not unless Jock approached the subject first. He had a goal and he couldn't jeopardize his chances of reaching that goal, especially since if he didn't achieve his goal, he didn't really have a backup plan. He had no desire to return to Alaska to work with his father and sister drilling for oil, so much so that wasn't even an option in his mind, unfortunately though, with his limited job experience and the income level he was used to, getting a job that paid well but wasn't in oil drilling itself probably wouldn't be easy. He knew he was capable of more than hard labour, but he had a feeling that a recruitment agency in a big city like Dallas would take one look at his resume and immediately make up their mind about his suitability for any kind of professional job. He didn't want his uncle to think the same way and he was sure he could convince him that he was capable and worth taking a chance on, he just had to make sure he sold himself well. He would have to wait a little while to actually sell himself though, because from the amount of talking his uncle was doing, and the few questions he had asked about his life, he was getting the impression that Jock was a man who liked to talk and liked to have everyone's attention, but he wasn't much of a listener.

"What's wrong with you boy?" stopping in the middle of a story about how he'd taken a train to South Central Texas in 1933 to join Jason in the oil fields, and how along the way he'd picked up Willard, he was just getting to the good part of the story when his nephew began to cough. Quickly deducing that it was the drink making him splutter loudly, he let out a loud laugh and slapped his nephew on the back a couple of times before speaking again, "bourbon, not a drink for weak men. You'll have to get used to it if you plan to stick around Dallas for any length of time". Waiting for his nephew to stop coughing, he took a minute to study his appearance again, it was amazing how much Jack looked like Jason, or the Jason he remembered, they were both older now, and he wasn't so naïve as to think he or Jason looked the same as they had the last time they'd been together as brothers. Sensing Jack's breathing returning to normal, he waited a few seconds to make sure he still had his attention, before continuing where he had left off, he was enjoying reliving the good old days and having such an interested audience. "So, as I was saying, we arrived in this little town and there were oil derricks everywhere, in those days that was a beautiful sight, still is to me. More than beauty though, it meant money, and we all needed money…"

A few miles east of Southfork, Bobby Ewing's loneliness and romantic unhappiness was temporarily forgotten as he, Lucy, and Sue Ellen whizzed around the roller rink together. He was a young man with plenty of friends and plenty to offer women romantically, but that wasn't all he was; he was a family man too and actually spending quality time with his family was something he didn't realise he missed or was missing out on until he started doing it again and remembered how happy it made him. "What do you think Bobby? Next lap we race, and whoever comes last has to buy everyone a milkshake. Are you up for it?" looking down at his niece, his thoughts about family time were confirmed, because while she was giving him a mischievous look, she also looked very happy, and he was glad that something small he had done was able to bring her such joy. "Am I up for it? You'd better make sure you have your wallet ready, because you'll be buying", grinning as he spoke, he looked from Lucy to Sue Ellen and back before pointing ahead and defining the rules.

A couple of minutes later, as he victoriously passed under the large flag that hung at one end of the rink, he was once again reminded that although being a family man was nice, it wasn't enough to complete his life. Skating absentmindedly, he looked back to see how far behind him Lucy and Sue Ellen were, and in the second he wasn't paying attention to what was in front of him, the inevitable happened. "Hey, can you watch…" registering the sound of someone speaking, it wasn't until he was on the ground with a throbbing head and the tone of the woman's voice changed that he really paid attention, "…oh my, are you ok?" Feeling a warm hand on his head, he opened his eyes and smiled boyishly as he took in the woman's appearance, from her face all the way down to her chest. "Bobby!?" hearing his name being called, he looked toward the sound, and for a moment, he was giddy at the image before him; having two beautiful brunettes leaning over him was very much to his liking, that was, until Lucy appeared and quickly brought some reality to the pretty picture in front of him. Sitting up, he rubbed his head and checked to see whether he was bleeding before looking at the three young women in front of him and mumbling, "I'm fine. There'll be a bruise, but I'm fine". Making moves to stand up, he focused his attention on the young brunette woman he had skated into and spoke again, "I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going. Are you ok?" Studying her face as he waited for her to respond, he felt something familiar inside him, though before he could really consider anything more, everything went black.

To be continued…


	546. Fortuity?

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR? I have a suggestion, one you're free to say no to, but I think might help us if you say yes. From everything you've told me, Sue Ellen's told me, and the changes I've seen in you two and in your relationship, it seems that Doctor Williams is a real asset in your life and I was thinking he might be able to help us too. I take it that you've already told him some of the things you've told me, but you feel like he has a better grasp on how to communicate and where to go to from here? If you're willing to bring me into that part of your world, I'll gladly follow you. I think you have a hard time understanding just how much this is all hurting me and how much I want things to change. I'm sorry that you felt excluded and treated unequally, and I'm sorry it took me so long to notice or do anything about it. I want you to accept my apologies and I want us to start afresh and build the relationship we should have had all along, but I understand that it's not that simple or easy. You are obviously holding a lot of anger and sadness from years past and that's not the kind of thing that can be easily set aside and forgotten, so I understand where you're coming from, even if you think I don't. Because of that, I want you to seriously consider my suggestion; Doctor Williams has been very good for you and Sue Ellen and you even brought him up in this conversation, so I don't think it's a crazy idea for you and I to see him together. I want you to be the one to make that decision though; I don't want you to be uncomfortable with the idea".

Watching her son intently, Miss Ellie felt helpless; she had come to his home to try to make amends and start things anew, but she was hitting a wall. JR was communicating, but it wasn't very constructive or beneficial communication; he was hurt and angry and that was understandable, but he seemed to only want to tell her how angry he was and how much she had hurt him, not accept her apologies or suggest any way of moving forward. Sharing their relationship with a professional wasn't something she had ever really considered, counselling wasn't something her generation had had access to in the past or ever really considered an option now that they did have access to it, however, she was open-minded about it because she had seen how well it had helped Sue Ellen, JR, and Lucy. She wasn't going to force JR into anything though; he was a grown man, even if during their talk she had seen shades of the little boy inside him; she couldn't tell him what to do and she couldn't make him do anything, he had to want to do something and want for it to work. "Mm, I'll think about it", receiving a few mumbled words and a frown from JR in response, she moved closer to him and touched his hand lightly, making sure to look him in the eye as she spoke, "thank you. I love you JR, I always have, even if sometimes you didn't feel it. I want us to be able to have a good relationship, and when you're ready to talk more, I'm here". Squeezing his hand a little, she then stood and allowed JR to show her to the door; their talk for the evening was finished, but she hoped he would take her suggestion seriously and they would be able to talk in more depth soon.

A few miles east of JR and Sue Ellen's house, after taking a step back so an off-duty doctor could assess Bobby's condition, Sue Ellen slowly began to take in the scene, and as she did, a few things suddenly became clear to her. Bobby had had an accident, but that accident had also been a serendipitous encounter, because he hadn't just skated straight into the back of anyone, he'd skated into the one woman she'd had in mind to introduce him to if the opportunity ever arose again. Knowing Bobby's general kind manner, it hadn't been all that much of a surprise to see his concern about Pamela before he had collapsed, however, she had a feeling that his reaction to her was about more than just being polite and apologetic. Seeing Pamela's concern in the moments after the incident too, she had a strong feeling that she wasn't the only one who saw something in Bobby. Of course, Pamela knew nothing about him and Bobby knew nothing about her either, but Sue Ellen's intuition was telling her what she had initially suspected was true, that there was at least a physical appreciation present between them and there was the potential for an emotional connection to develop. Things seemed to be going well, or as well as they could considering the circumstances, however, observing the overall picture, she knew that it wasn't going to be quite as simple as just making sure Pamela stuck around to introduce herself to Bobby and vice versa. If the young man hovering around the scene, or more specifically, around Pamela, were to have his way, their date would continue as it had been before Bobby's little accident. Sue Ellen was sure that from his perspective, Bobby's actions had been careless and his condition now that he was receiving medical attention was nothing for him or Pamela to be concerned about. Unfortunately for him, but fortunately for everyone else, from everything she previously knew and what she was seeing now, Sue Ellen had a strong feeling that things probably weren't going to just return to how they had been; something had happened earlier and they just had to wait and see how it played out.

A few feet away, Pamela Barnes knelt down and watched the off-duty doctor intently as he assessed the handsome stranger as he lay on the ground. She couldn't pinpoint why she felt so compelled to make sure he was ok, she didn't know him, and she hadn't been the one in the wrong earlier, however, for some reason, she cared and she needed to know. Studying his face, she felt a little guilty for finding him attractive, she was on a date with Frank, a perfectly nice, handsome man himself and it seemed wrong for her to be thinking about men other than him when she was supposed to be his girl for the evening. She was conflicted though, because as hard as she tried, she couldn't just walk away from the man she now knew to be named Bobby before she knew he was ok, even if it were unfair to Frank. She needed to know he wasn't permanently injured, and deep down, she also wanted to find out more about him, because in the second he'd spoken to her before he'd collapsed, she'd felt something, and that something was just begging to be explored.

Stepping back at the request of the doctor, her thoughts turned to the wider situation; there was something very familiar about the brunette woman Bobby had been skating with, and the relationship between the brunette woman, Bobby, and the young blonde girl puzzled her. If the brunette woman was Bobby's girlfriend that was understandable, but they were both too young for the blonde girl to be their daughter, unless perhaps she was one of their sisters, though she didn't look particularly like either of them, so she wasn't sure. The three other skaters were strangers to her, so she wasn't sure why she cared so much, but for some reason she did and she wanted to know more about them. Studying the brunette woman again, she noticed something she hadn't before, her rings, and quickly looking back at Bobby, she felt guilty again at the amount of relief she felt seeing no rings on his fingers. The brunette woman was married, but Bobby was not, and as bad as she felt for Frank that she felt relieved, she couldn't deny her feelings; she was glad Bobby wasn't married, because that meant there was a possibility she had a chance with him.

"He has a mild concussion, but he's going to be fine. I suggest you take him home now though, skating, or any kind of contact sport is not something he should be doing at present or for the next few days. He may experience some headaches, dizziness, and tiredness, and he'll probably have a couple of bruises, but no permanent damage has been done and I don't think he needs to seek further medical treatment unless his symptoms worsen. Rest and over-the-counter pain medication should be just fine for any little aches and pains that appear". Listening to the doctor speaking, Frank Copeland sighed with relief; the clumsy man was going to be just fine and his companions seemed capable of taking care of him from here on out, so there was absolutely no reason why he or Pam needed to stick around any longer. He liked Pam and she seemed to like him, but she had a problem he didn't have, she was too kind sometimes; there was no reason she had to be so concerned about a stranger, but she was and that was just who she was. They were on their forth date in two weeks and so far, he was happy with how things had been going, publicly and privately, and he was interested in maintaining and growing their relationship, so he really didn't want anything to disrupt or halt that progress. "Good, I'm pleased to hear that. We'll let you get going now", directing his words toward the doctor and other pretty brunette, he then took Pam's hand and motioned toward the rest of the skaters in the rink, though she didn't immediately take his hint. "I'm sorry about your injuries…" hearing her start off as if she were going to apologise and then announce that it had been nice spending time with the group of strangers, he then squeezed her hand a little harder before nodding at her and at the group and sliding his skates across the smooth floor. They were leaving, now, whether she liked it or not, and while for a moment it seemed like she wasn't going to follow his lead, eventually, he got what he wanted and she did follow him, though from the look on her face, it may not have been because she really wanted to.

To be continued…


	547. Open and Closed

**Dallas, Texas**

Stroking his sleeping son's cheek with the back of his finger, JR smiled to himself as he received a reflexive wriggle and something that resembled a smile in response; of course, John Ross was asleep, he didn't know who was touching him or why, but his small reaction was enough to lift JR's mood a little bit. "When's he due to wake up?" wondering whether John Ross would be awake and smiling any time soon, he looked over at Mrs Smith as she occupied herself with busywork in order to give him some space with his son. "Not until morning; he's sleeping between eleven and twelve hours at night now"; hearing the baby nurse's response, his mood deflated. He wanted John Ross to be healthy and well rested, and it wasn't his son's job to provide him comfort, especially when he didn't understand what that meant, but even knowing that didn't stop him from feeling a bit disappointed. John Ross was his son and their relationship was very different to the relationship he had with his parents; where he found it emotionally difficult to spend time with his mother, because there were so many feelings inside of him that weren't positive, he had the opposite feeling when he was with John Ross. He loved his son, wholly and completely, and his son showed him affection in a way that indicated he loved him the same way; John Ross' love was unconditional and pure, it wasn't tainted with bad experiences and peppered with conditions like the relationship he had with his parents. He was sure Doctor Williams would have something to say about him seeking John Ross' affection when just minutes earlier his mother had been offering him an opportunity to explore what he had missed during his own childhood, however, if Doctor Williams was going to judge, he had a very simple explanation for him in response. He wasn't ready to let his mother in just yet, he still held so many negative feelings toward her, but John Ross was different, his son meant the world to him and as terrible as it sounded, he wasn't sentient enough to disappoint him, so he felt safer letting his guard down with him than he did his mother. "Oh, ok", giving a very brief response to Mrs Smith's answer about John Ross' sleeping habits, feeling a bit silly as he did since somewhere in the back of his mind he already knew the information she'd told him, he then lightly brushed his son's hair with his hand before nodding at the baby nurse and silently leaving the nursery.

Down the street, arriving back at Southfork, Miss Ellie stood outside in the crisp night air for a few minutes to collect her thoughts before she entered the house and faced Jock's inevitable bad mood. She loved her husband, but he was a stubborn, negative man sometimes, especially when he got it in his head that other people were deliberately trying to rankle him, rather than the alternative scenario where there was more than one perspective and his wasn't necessarily the 'right' one. Her evening with JR hadn't accomplished everything she had hoped it would, but it hadn't gone the complete opposite way either, things weren't any worse now than they had been before, and for her, that was something to be pleased about. She was sure if she told Jock anything about her conversation with JR though that he would think she was being pathetic, he already thought JR was making a fuss about nothing. With that in mind, she made the decision to not engage in any deep conversation with him about her evening, he didn't understand her motivations and he didn't want to understand them, so there was little point in sharing such a personal experience with him.

Looking out over her familial land, her thoughts were interrupted by a loud sound, one that reminded her a lot of Jock's genuine, unrestrained laugh, though she was sure couldn't be that as he was home alone and hadn't been in a good mood for days. Turning toward the house as she heard the sound again, her interest was piqued when Jock's laugh was clearly followed by another man's laugh, one she didn't recognize. Looking around to see whether she had missed an unfamiliar car parked on the driveway, but seeing nothing, she then set off toward the house to investigate. Anyone who could make her husband laugh as loud as he was now was worth meeting.

"…so he had a nose for sniffing oil, but he was absolutely useless when it came to any kind of manual labour, so naturally he earned himself the nickname Digger…" walking into the house in the middle of a story she recognized, Miss Ellie wasn't quite sure what to expect when she entered the living room. Willard 'Digger' Barnes had been her first love and one of Jock's original business partners, however, there was a lot of history post the foundation of Ewing Oil, history that often led Jock to cast Digger in a negative light when retelling stories, so to hear him speaking about his old friend in such a casual manner surprised her. What surprised her even more than Jock's tone and mood though was what she saw when she finally entered the living room; she didn't know who the man was she had expected Jock to be chatting with, but the young man sitting opposite Jock wasn't him.

Seeing Jack's facial expression change, Jock turned around and looked over his shoulder before standing, walking over to his wife, gesturing toward his nephew, and breaking the brief silence that had come over the room, "oh good, you're home. Ellie, meet Jack, Jason's son". Waving his hand back toward Ellie, he then looked over to Jack, "Jack, meet my wife, Miss Ellie Ewing". Waiting for Ellie to politely nod, say hello, and take a seat, he then walked over to the bar to make her a drink and take a moment to figure out how he wanted to approach the whole situation. Briefly considering it, he decided a basic introduction was all that was necessary for now, Ellie didn't need to know everything just yet, he would bring her into his circle of thoughts when the time was right, and as much as he liked Jack, he wasn't ready to lay all of his cards out on the table quite so soon.

To be continued…


	548. Family Dynamics

**Dallas, Texas**

"…so I suppose just like the Dallas Ewings, my life has been all about oil. Being my daddy's son and living in Alaska, there weren't really many other options, not that I'm complaining though, the oil business has served my side of the family well". Looking around the spacious living room and down to the heavy, probably very expensive, glass in his hand, it was obvious the oil industry had served his uncle's side of the family better than it had his father's, however, Jack wasn't stupid and he knew sounding anything close to bitter would not serve him well. He wanted his uncle to like him and to want to get to know him and he had a strong feeling that Jock Ewing wasn't the kind of man that tolerated complaining, unless he was the one doing the complaining, which oddly enough, from some of his comments earlier in the evening, it almost seemed like he was. From what he had gathered, his cousins JR and Bobby both currently worked for Ewing Oil, but Bobby was set to leave in a few weeks, and JR had done something that Jock wasn't all that pleased about, so despite being a proud father, Jock also had a slight negative tone in his voice when talking about his sons. If he understood correctly from his research, he had another cousin too, however Jock hadn't mentioned him once, and wanting to stay on his uncle's good side, he wasn't going to pry.

"My family and I had a good life in Alaska thanks to oil. My daddy chose a different path for himself and his family after splitting with you Jock; he's very focused on the practical end of the business, being out on the job, drilling, not putting deals together. That was my life for years too, I have a lot of experience in the fields, that's part of the reason why I find your stories and my daddy's stories about the old days so fascinating; knowing how things are now and comparing them to the past is interesting. What I find more interesting than drilling though is all of the other stuff that goes on behind the scenes, that's why I left Alaska, I wanted to see more of the other side of life. I don't expect anything from you, I just wanted to meet the family my daddy has spoken about, and if at all possible, see the company he was a part of". Making sure to explain that he wasn't looking for anything from his family, even though in the back of his mind he was, Jack hoped he sounded sincere as he spoke to his uncle and aunt, and from the nods and thoughtful 'mhms' Jock was responding with, he was fairly sure he did. Miss Ellie was a little less readable, she was nodding too and she seemed friendly enough, but she didn't seem to be quite as interested in what he had to say as her husband was, and he hoped that that was just because she was distracted by something else, not because he wasn't believable. Before he could get clarification though, the attention in the room was diverted as an energetic little blonde girl, a pretty brunette woman, and a slightly dazed looking young man entered the house, all apparently completely oblivious to anything but their own conversation.

"…Bobby, you heard what the doctor said, you need to rest. Lucy, will you make sure Bobby gets upstairs ok? I'll talk to your granddaddy and see that Teresa brings some pain pills ups", entering the house through the patio door, Sue Ellen directed her niece and brother-in-law to follow the doctor's orders and head upstairs. She didn't particularly want to talk to Jock, but as it was, she was probably the most appropriate person to explain what had happened. Bobby wasn't permanently injured and was perfectly able to have a conversation, but talking to Jock Ewing could give anyone a headache and since he already had one she didn't think it was wise to send him into the lion's den. Likewise, Lucy was also fine, but she was a child, an emotional child, and her version of events was likely to be inaccurate and dramatized. Walking down the hall and into the foyer, she turned instinctively and stopped as she realise what had made her feel like she needed to look behind her. Not only was Jock home, but so was Miss Ellie, and they were joined by another young man, one she didn't recognize but seemed to be making himself right at home if the bourbon in his hand and his relaxed demeanour were anything to go by. The Ewings were free to have guests if they wanted to, it wasn't any of her business if they did or didn't, what did surprise her and worry her a bit though was the fact that Miss Ellie was present. It was still relatively early, she, Bobby, and Lucy had only come home because of Bobby's injury, and they had only really been out because Miss Ellie and JR were supposed to be talking in private; if Miss Ellie was home already though, she didn't have high hopes that her and JR's discussion had gone well.

"What happened?" standing as she heard Sue Ellen's directions, Miss Ellie rushed over to her youngest son as he appeared in the foyer; he wasn't limping or writhing in pain, but something was clearly wrong, she could tell just by looking at him, and Sue Ellen's words backed up that idea. "Nothing mama, I fell over at the roller rink and hit my head. The doctor says I have a mild concussion and that I should rest. It's nothing to worry about, I feel ok, really", listening to Bobby's explanation, her eye's widened and she felt the need to step closer to check his head, even though he had said he'd already seen a doctor. Sensing him flinch as she touched his head, she made a sympathetic sound before turning toward Sue Ellen, thanking her for bringing him home, and then directing him to follow her upstairs the same way he had many times before.

A few minutes later, after directing Bobby to change into his pyjamas while she went to speak to Teresa, she closed his bedroom door and walked back down the hall. Passing JR's old bedroom, she was reminded of her evening before returning to Southfork, and as she did, she considered the look Sue Ellen had given her a few minutes prior, and suddenly, a few things became clearer to her. Bobby was her youngest son and sometimes she forgot that he was a grown man who didn't need his mother fussing over every little cut and bruise; kindly though, he didn't protest too much when she acted overly motherly toward him. In comparison, JR was her eldest son, her first baby, the son she had had the most years with, but for one reason or another, she had babied him a lot less than Gary or Bobby, and he resented her for it. Casting her mind back, she remembered a time in JR and Sue Ellen's early relationship where he had come home from the office early looking sickly and she had made sure to send him to bed with some chicken soup. Despite having a memory of the event and knowing she had looked after her son, she still felt bad, because other than that one memory, she couldn't recall another time in JR's teenage or adult life where she had treated him the same way she was treating Bobby now. None of her adult children needed to be coddled like children, but she was sure it was nice for them to feel loved when they weren't feeling very well, unfortunately though, the way she went about mothering her adult sons was just another unequal action in a long list of unequal actions, and her lack of self-awareness was a problem.

Downstairs, after watching Miss Ellie whisk Bobby away like a mother hen, Sue Ellen ushered Lucy into the living room to explain things to Jock and the stranger. Following her niece's lead, she took a seat on the couch and waited for an introduction and a verbal question before she spoke. "Lucy, Sue Ellen, this is Jack, my nephew, he's my brother Jason's son. Jack, this is Lucy, my granddaughter, and Sue Ellen, JR's wife", noticing Jock didn't refer to her as his daughter-in-law like he had in the past, she sensed that he was still a bit annoyed with JR, and indirectly with her, about his efforts to talk about the past. She couldn't hold Jock's attitude against Jack though, so in response to Jock's introduction, she politely smiled, nodded, and said a quick, "nice to meet you", before explaining what had happened to Bobby. Miss Ellie was handling Bobby's condition like an attentive mother, so now she was little more than the messenger, and after performing that duty all she really wanted to do was return home to JR; she needed to know he was ok, and if he wasn't, she wanted to be there to listen to him and comfort him. She loved the Ewing family and she cared about what was going on in their lives, but the Ewings that were most important to her were down the street at her house, not inside Southfork, so the sooner she could get home, the better.

To be continued…


	549. Closeness

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR?" wandering through her home in search of her husband, Sue Ellen braced herself for an emotional scene as she followed the light shining under the door and headed toward JR's home office. Opening the door, the churning in her stomach slowed down a little bit when she met his gaze; he wasn't his usual confident self, he seemed quieter and more reserved, but simply from making eye contact with him it was clear to her that he wasn't emotionally broken. "Hi", lifting her hand to wave at him, she smiled empathetically before walking over to his desk and taking his small reciprocal hand gesture as an invitation to sit on his lap. "How are you?" leaning forward, she gave him a soft kiss before relaxing into him, enjoying the way her head fit into the crook of his neck and the way he ran his hand over her arm. Hoping he would talk to her, but receiving little verbal response from him, she decided to try again, "I saw your mama when I was dropping Lucy and Bobby back home…" Feeling his breathing change as she spoke, she moved her head to look up at him, and when she met his gaze again, she could tell he was considering how he was going to respond; she wasn't thrilled he was being so careful with how and what he told her, but she was glad he wasn't completely freezing her out. She wanted him to communicate with her, they'd come too far in their relationship for him to withhold his feelings from her; she wanted to help him with whatever problems he was having and she didn't mind whether that was through actual solutions she could offer him, or just by being someone he could tell his thoughts to.

"Mm, she left early, there wasn't much to say after we talked. She came over, was sat in silence, she told me I had to let her in, so I tried, I tried to explain, but I don't know, it's just not that easy. She wants answers that I don't have, and I want… I don't know what I want… I know what I can't have though… Anyway, we're going to go and see Doctor Williams together, I think it's the only way I'm going to be able to communicate anything to her. It's pointless trying to talk to her myself, I don't know what to say or how to say it, and she keeps apologising without understanding why it's not as simple as that". Listening to JR's confused explanation, Sue Ellen had mixed feelings; she loved her husband and she hated seeing how emotionally affected he was by an interaction with his mother, and she wanted to take away the memories and inequality that was causing the pain inside him; at the same time though, her feelings of anger and annoyance were growing. Jock and Miss Ellie had a lot to answer for, JR wasn't a weak man, in fact he was a very strong man, but he wasn't inhuman, he was a person just like everyone else, he had feelings and insecurities, and he needed comfort and stability just like anyone else. It wasn't fair that a conversation with his mother was so emotionally painful and confusing, he deserved to have parents who loved him and made it clear that they loved him, not just verbally, but in their actions too, it wasn't too much to ask.

Feeling better as his wife relaxed into him and gently stroked the back of his neck with her hand, JR relaxed too, and although he wasn't in any better position now with his mother than he had been a few minutes ago, he did feel better. Allowing his thoughts to wander, he considered what she had said to him a few moments prior, "hold on a minute, I know why mama wasn't here for very long, but why are you home so early?" He had been wrapped up in his own thoughts, so he hadn't really thought about it at first, but now that he had a slightly clearer head, even if he hadn't resolved anything, something was amiss. Lucy loved roller-skating and she loved spending time with Sue Ellen, so unless the child had hurt herself, or they had had an argument, which judging by Sue Ellen's demeanour, hadn't happened, he didn't understand why she was home so early.

"Oh, well when I went to pick Lucy up from Southfork, she had invited Bobby, so he came with us. So we went, we skated for a little bit, then we decided to race each other, and unfortunately Bobby skated straight into the back of someone, actually not just someone, Pamela, the girl I told you about a few weeks ago… Anyway, he hit his head and the doctor that checked him over said he probably had a concussion and it was best for him to go home and rest, so we left early". Quickly explaining what had come to be just the beginning of the evening's surprising events, Sue Ellen paused briefly before continuing, "actually, speaking of coming home early, I received a surprise when I arrived back at Southfork this evening. Do you know a Jack Ewing? I didn't stick around long enough to hear why he was in Dallas, but from what I observed before I left and then when I arrived back, I don't think your mama and daddy were expecting to see him".

Shifting in his seat as he listened to Sue Ellen speaking, JR pulled back to look at her face-to-face as he began to respond. "Jack Ewing? I don't think I know a Jack Ewing. Who did my daddy say he was? And how were they acting together?" He didn't know a Jack Ewing, in fact he didn't even really recall the name, but that didn't mean he wasn't interested, he was very interested, whoever this Jack Ewing was had obviously made an impression on his parents and selfishly he hoped it was a bad one. He would never admit it but it would be a huge blow to his self-esteem if his parents treated yet another Ewing better than they treated him, especially one they didn't know. He was their son and he was trying to build a relationship with his mother and work on figuring out how he wanted his relationship with his father to be too, but it wasn't easy and it wouldn't be very beneficial to the situation if another competitor was added into the mix, he already had enough brothers to compete with.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I didn't mention that did I? Jack is Jason's son, so he's your daddy's nephew, and I suppose that makes him your cousin. He's young, probably around Bobby's age, maybe younger; he seemed nice enough, but I don't know, he seemed awfully comfortable at Southfork for someone who had just turned up out of nowhere". Listening to Sue Ellen's further explanation, JR was silent for a few seconds as he considered the implications personally and professionally if what she was saying was true. Long-term it was good that he had a legal pathway to ownership and control of Ewing Oil, that meant his father couldn't start being overly generous if this Jack person somehow manipulated his way into their lives, but short-term it could prove to be a problem, there was nothing stopping his father from being generous in other, less materialistic ways. He knew nothing about Jack, but Sue Ellen's uneasy tone and his natural inclination to distrust the things he didn't know much about was enough to set off a series of thoughts in his mind.

"I'll bet he did. There's nothing like money to bring long lost family members out of the woodwork. You've never had the pleasure of meeting Gary, but he's exactly the same way; he leaves town without a word to anyone, devastating mama, and then saunters back months later when what little money he had has dried up. Don't let mama's accounts of him fool you, he's not some fragile little bird, he's a lazy leech, he pretends not to be, he pretends to hate the Ewing money, but the only time he ever comes back is when he's hit rock bottom and needs a helping hand from mama. I've never met this Jack person, but I imagine he's exactly the same. The minute he gained the ability to leave wherever he came from, he hightailed it and came straight to Dallas to ask for a handout from my daddy. How did daddy react to him? Did he see through his transparent plan?" Assuming a lot, but not considering for even a second that his assumptions were anything but correct, JR looked to his wife for any further information to back up his pre-judged opinion. His father wasn't stupid, but he did have a tendency to like everyone else more than he liked him, so while he didn't really want to know the answer to his question if it were anything but that his father had sent Jack packing, he had to ask, because he had to know, even if the answer would upset him.

To be continued…


	550. Trying To Reason

**Dallas, Texas**

Closing the bathroom door behind her, Miss Ellie walked into her bedroom to continue the conversation she had been trying to have with Jock since the moment Jack had left Southfork earlier in the evening. She had seen the way Jock was warming to Jack, and she had seen the way Jack had made himself comfortable in their home and she was worried. Jack wanted something, whether that was just family or more didn't really matter to her, she was still concerned; JR had confessed how painful it was for him to see his parents treating his brothers 'better' than they treated him, so to see Jock being so friendly with Jack would probably hurt him too and she didn't want that. If Jock was going to pay attention to anyone right now, it really should be his sons, but to tell him that would certainly anger him and would likely cause him to act rebelliously, hurting JR in the process, so she wasn't going to take that approach.

"Jock, please, listen to me. I'm not asking you to stop seeing Jack, you're perfectly entitled to get to know your nephew if you want to, what I am asking you to do though is please consider JR and his feelings before you make any big steps toward bringing Jack into your life. If there's one thing I understand it's that JR might be a man of few words, and he might seem stoic on the outside, but inside he's anything but and I think we both need to consider that he does have feelings that we haven't considered before. He's not a child, I know that, but you didn't see him earlier, it's like the little boy he used to be is still inside him and every time he has to deal with anything emotionally difficult, he reverts back to thinking like a child. He's jealous of the love and attention I gave Gary and Bobby, and he still questions what Bobby had that he didn't when it came to how you treated him when he started at Ewing Oil. There's no quick or easy fix for the way he feels or to mend the relationship he has with us, but I know for a fact that seeing you treating Jack so well after such a short period of time is going to hurt him. Thinking too about the way he treated Bobby in the past, I don't think it would be very good for Jack to be in that position either. I'm not saying don't get to know Jack, he's your nephew and he came all the way to Dallas to visit you, but please, just take it slow and don't forget that JR is your son and he needs you too. I need to remember the same thing with Bobby, I can't act so caring and motherly with him when JR is around, not unless I'm able to do the same with him when he needs it; it's important for JR to understand that we love him the same as we love JR and Gary. I know you think this is all nonsense and he needs to be a man and stop making a fuss, but that attitude is not going to help the situation. JR needs his father and the first step in making sure he gets what he needs is to ensure there is still some attention left for him when he does talk to you and spend time with you. Jack is your nephew, but JR is your son, please keep that in mind going forward".

Pulling the covers on his bed back, Jock glanced up at his wife as she emerged from the bathroom, however, the moment she began to speak again, he felt his eyes drifting back down to the bed; he was tired and he had neither the desire nor the energy to listen to her ranting about his parenting skills again. If she wanted to spend her evenings listening to JR complain about his childhood then she was more than welcome to, but he was sick of hearing it and he wasn't interested in having those conversations brought into his home, especially not into his bedroom. "Ellie, I'm tired, so I'll make this quick. I don't know what you think I'm doing with Jack but it's not something for you or JR to worry about. Jack is refreshing to have around, he's not here asking for anything or trying to engage me in serious conversations, he's just interested in finding out about the other side of his family and where his daddy fits into the story. JR has heard my stories a million times, I'm sure he doesn't want to hear them again. JR also knows how important he is to this family, if he would just for one second take a breath and stop feeling sorry for himself, he would probably feel a lot better. I don't know what you want me to do, or what he wants me to do, I see him every day at work, I make an effort to get him to do things with me outside of work, and despite him saying otherwise, I have given him many benefits that neither Bobby nor Gary received. He's complaining about nothing and you're not helping the situation. I'm sure if you pushed Bobby hard enough he'd have some complaints about my relationship with JR; the difference here is that he's happy with what he has, even if it isn't an exact replica of what JR has. Jack will be visiting Ewing Oil for a tour tomorrow and we'll take things from there, I don't know what that will mean, I haven't planned it all out, because unlike what you seem to think, I'm not plotting against JR. JR is welcome to join the tour and I would like him to meet Jack, it would be nice for Jack to be friends with his cousins in Dallas, but even if he doesn't, his presence isn't a threat to JR's position in Ewing Oil or in this family and if he thinks it is then that's his problem. The invitation I gave earlier in the week for him to bring John Ross and Sue Ellen to dinner here sometime this week is still open, I am not about to put a stop to anything because of Jack. Now, I'm tired, and I have a lot of things to do tomorrow, so I'm going to bed".

Giving his wife a look that left no doubt about his thoughts on the whole conversation, Jock waited for her to make her way over to the bed before getting in himself and turning off the lamp on his nightstand. She could have as many conversations and try as hard as she wanted to enable JR's whining and complaining, but he wasn't going to take part in any of it. JR was complaining about nothing of any real importance and Ellie was making an issue out of a hypothetical situation, it wasn't worth his time or energy and he wasn't going to pretend it was. Feeling Ellie lay down beside him and then seeing the room go black as she turned her lamp off, both without saying a word, he knew she was upset with him and would probably still be in a mood the next morning. She really wasn't in a position to be upset with him though, if anything he should be upset with her for accusing him of things he hadn't done and had no intention of doing, however, she was being quiet and that was all he had really wanted a few moments ago, so he wasn't going to make a fuss. He had had the last word tonight and he intended to maintain his position of power; neither JR nor Miss Ellie were going to break him, they could fight with him all they wanted, it would make no difference to him. JR was his son and he treated him just fine, nothing needed to change, except perhaps JR's attitude. That was an issue for the morning though, not the evening, so instead of dwelling on his eldest son's immaturity, he instead rolled over, closed his eyes, and enjoyed the silence around him, letting sleep take over his mind.

To be continued…


	551. Visitor

**Dallas, Texas**

"Sue Ellen?" hearing Ruth calling her name, Sue Ellen temporarily abandoned the box of clothes she was sorting through and walked over to the entrance to the stockroom. "There's a young woman here to see you, she said her name's Pamela and you'd know who she was". Listening to her co-worker's words, her mood instantly improved; if Pamela was here then it had to mean she was interested in Bobby, there was no other explanation in her mind. "I do, thank you. I'll be right out", checking her appearance in the mirror, she collected her thoughts and took a few deep breaths to calm herself so that she didn't walk into a situation where she came off as much too intense and excitable. She wanted to help Bobby find happiness and she was sure that this time her good intentions had a higher chance of ending in positive outcome than they had the last time, when she had tried to play secret matchmaker with Jenna Wade but had instead ended up feeling like a stalker. This time she was prepared and she knew her own limits; she could encourage Pamela and she could encourage Bobby, she could even arrange a few things, but unlike the last time, instead of her involvement being undercover and feeling sneaky and seedy, it would all be out in the open, just the way she wanted it to be.

"Pamela, it's lovely to see you again. To what do I owe this pleasure?" Walking out of the stockroom and into the public area of the charity's 'shop' premises, Sue Ellen smiled genuinely as she noticed Pamela's demeanour; there was something in the way she presented herself that said she was a bit nervous, but also hopeful that something positive would come out of her visit. "Hi Sue Ellen, I hope you don't mind me just dropping by like this, I didn't know how to contact you any other way though. Seeing you last night was a surprise, a good one though, well, mostly. How is Bobby?" Disregarding the pleasantries, Sue Ellen found herself focused on the final part of Pamela's response; she had come to visit for exactly the reason she had assumed, and that was a very good thing. "Oh you heard the doctor, he has a concussion but he'll be fine. I took him home last night and he went straight to bed, and since I haven't heard anything from him or the rest of the family today, I imagine he's just fine". Being honest, Sue Ellen almost wished she had called Southfork before she had left, just to check to see whether Bobby was ok, the reality was though that doing so hadn't really occurred to her, she had been so focused on John Ross and JR before she had left home that she had almost forgotten about Bobby. She did care though, so even just for her own peace of mind she made a mental note to check on Bobby's health after she finished her volunteer work for the day.

"Oh, I'm glad. I know he skated into me, but I can't help but feel responsible for his injuries. That's why I had to come and see you to check he was ok…" knowing that wasn't her only reason for paying Sue Ellen a visit, Pam grew quiet as she mustered up the courage to admit aloud that there were other motives behind her presence. After leaving him the previous evening, she hadn't stopped thinking about the things she had felt in the small amount of time she had been around Bobby, a man she didn't even know, and that scared her a bit. She knew she couldn't ignore it though, the way she felt around Bobby was something she had to pay attention to, especially when it was made even more obvious when she interacted with Frank. Frank Copeland was nice enough, he hadn't exactly been a gentleman when she'd dodged his question about their next date, but overall he seemed to be a reasonable man; the problem was, he wasn't the man for her, that had become very clear to her very quickly the previous evening.

Hearing Pamela go quiet, Sue Ellen waited for a few moments before putting her out of her misery, "that's very kind, but really, you have nothing to feel responsible for. If you really feel that checking on Bobby is something you have to do though, you could always come and see him for yourself. I know he would love to see you again, he said just about as much last night. He wasn't unconscious after that his initial collapse, he was awake and observant and I happen to know he was very pleased to have such a personal attention from a pretty girl". Not wanting to mention that a few of his rambled comments on the way home had been closer to what she would expect to hear from a frat boy than a nice guy like Bobby, she stayed general and hoped that Pamela took her offer as it was rather than asking her to elaborate on what exactly he had said.

"Do you think that would be too intrusive? I don't even know him…" Hearing Pamela's concerns and seeing her matching facial expression, Sue Ellen felt silly; in all of her thoughts about setting Bobby and Pamela up with each other she hadn't even considered how strange it might be for Pamela to show up at Southfork out of nowhere, or whether Bobby was even at Southfork to begin with. Not wanting to give up at the first hurdle though, she simply shook her head and responded, "no, I don't think so, Bobby's not like that, he's friendly and open, I don't think he would think a kind gesture like you're wanting to make was intrusive. I suppose if you want to be on the safe side though you could write down your number and I'll call you after I've had some time to explain your concerns. How does that sound?" Hoping her suggestion sounded ok and Pamela's nerves weren't enough to deter her from following through with her original intentions, Sue Ellen waited patiently while Pamela considered everything.

"Ok. I'll be at work this afternoon and tomorrow, but evenings and weekends I'm reachable at home", removing a small notepad from her purse, she jotted down two numbers, before signing it with her first name, tearing the paper out of the notepad, and handing it to Sue Ellen. It was best to work quickly, otherwise she just might lose the confidence she had managed to gather to visit Sue Ellen to investigate her encounter with the handsome stranger. Luckily, Sue Ellen didn't seem to be a mind reader, even if she did have some female intuition about the situation, so she believed she was hiding the true extent of her nerves quite well, and that meant the exchange of the small piece of paper didn't seem nearly as dramatic as she imagined it could have been.

"Great. I'll see if I can talk to Bobby this afternoon. I know he's going to be happy to hear from you, I just know it". Clasping the notebook paper in her hand, Sue Ellen smiled brightly at the young woman in front of her before finishing their conversation and saying goodbye as Pamela made her way out the door to leave. Walking back into the stockroom after waving goodbye to Pamela, she slipped the small paper into her purse and continued to smile to herself; she had pegged Pamela and Bobby as potentially good for each other a while ago and it was nice to see she hadn't been wrong. Unlike the Jenna Wade situation too, she felt good about her involvement this time; she wasn't sneaking around interfering in things she had no business involving herself in, this time she was just the messenger and she was sure Bobby would be happy to hear the message she had for him.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading and for all of the recent reviews :)**

**To those using the story follow feature, the email chapter notification issue is site-wide so I have no idea when it will be working again, sorry.**


	552. Ewing Inner Circle

**Dallas, Texas**

"…call and set up a meeting with the cartel, I'm sure some of them are cutting back production, not increasing it like we are, but you know how crabby they get when they think Ewing Oil is excluding them from something profitable. If they are cutting back production it's not really worth discussing joining us in drilling, but by making the first move and inviting them to a meeting knowing full well that they're not going to accept, we still get the outcome we wanted and they can't complain about a lack of consultation when we go ahead with our plans". Waiting for Diane to finish scribbling his directions down, JR strained his ears to hear whether he could pick up anything out of the ordinary happening outside his office, though he wasn't particularly surprised when he couldn't, the Ewing Oil office walls weren't as thin as the Southfork walls, and honestly, there was probably little happening outside anyway. His father had mentioned something about taking his mysterious 'cousin' Jack on a tour of the building, but with the office so quiet, he felt it was safe to assume the nosy stranger hadn't shown up yet.

"With or without Mr Ewing?" hearing Diane speaking again, his thoughts were temporarily interrupted as he turned his attention to his secretary's question and contemplated his options. "Without, but I still want you to invite him, take a peek at Julie's desk and select a time daddy's already busy, then invite him", giving his answer, he returned to his previous thoughts. His father had been getting on his nerves in his personal life recently, but at the office they'd been trying to remain professional, though in all honesty that had mostly just meant ignoring each other. He wasn't all that pleased with why he and his father weren't really talking, but he had found having less interference in his work had resulted in him being more productive recently. He wasn't stupid though, he knew how far he could likely push his father without retaliation and he knew that not making any effort at all to include him, the current president of Ewing Oil, in important networking would certainly break the silence that had fallen over the office. He knew his father and he wanted to please him, but pleasing him didn't always mean agreeing with him exactly and actually following through on those agreements, sometimes it meant just making the effort to look like he was being compliant and inclusive. He would never tell his father that that's what he was doing to him though, that trick was meant to be used on other people, not Jock Ewing, that's how the world worked, Jock Ewing was in control, always, nobody took advantage of him, or so he liked to think.

"Anything else?" bringing his thoughts back to the present again, he considered the things he hadn't yet had his secretary add to his to-do list, and just as he was about to dismiss her, he remembered the one thing he'd been trying not to think too much about. "Mm, I'll be taking lunch early again tomorrow, private appointment; as usual though I'll be back in the office in the early afternoon, so just take messages while I'm away from the office". Not wanting to mention what his private appointment was, because making the decision to see Doctor Williams with his mother was very personal and not something he cared to discuss at present, he then moved on, "that's all I have to add for now". Nodding at her, he was pleased when she took his hint and stood to leave, he hadn't been solely professional in the past, but he was sure his previous lingering secretaries had done so by choice, not because he hadn't been clear with them; with Diane though, everything was different, she made everything so easy and he was grateful.

Down the hall, Julie Grey was just finishing typing a letter for Jock when she looked up to see the elevator doors opening; ordinarily, the sliding metal doors didn't reveal anyone particularly interesting, especially since the downturn in the economy, however, today, the opposite was true. Jock had come into the office in much less of a foul mood than she had expected him to be in and when they had had their morning meeting to run through his schedule for the day she had got a small inkling of why that was. It seemed the son of Jason Ewing, one of the founding members of Ewing Oil had made an appearance and he was burrowing his way into Jock's life one story at a time, and surprisingly, Jock liked it. Seeing the man across the room, she was surprised by only one thing, his age. He was handsome, but he was young, definitely younger than JR and likely younger than Bobby, and while she didn't always think so far ahead, she had already ruled him out as having any romantic potential, she wasn't a fan of bedding younger men. Seeing him had started her thinking about her future though, romance and marriage didn't always have to go together and she knew that in general her aversion to younger men had been because of their lack of means, however, if the mysterious Jack did manage to gain some Ewing wealth of his own, she could possibly make an exception. Marrying a younger man would put a dent in her confidence as she grew older, she was sure of it, but she was also sure that for the right price, she could easily distract herself from the depressing reality of being the older woman; money spoke, very loudly. "Hi", seeing the man walking toward her and hearing him greeting her, she smiled, flipped her hair over her shoulder, and responded back, "good morning", before waiting for him to introduce himself, even though she already knew exactly who he was.

"Jock, Jack Ewing is here to see you", calling through to Jock's office to inform him of his nephew's arrival, Julie's good mood grew as she spotted Diane's facial expression as she registered what she was saying. Diane looked confused and she liked that; she liked being ahead of the game, she liked knowing things that other people didn't, it made her feel special and important, like she was being entrusted with a secret. If Diane was confused that meant it was likely she wasn't aware Jack had been expected, and that meant that despite being JR's secretary, she and JR had a strictly professional relationship, they discussed work in his office and nothing else. She didn't even really want JR anymore, she hadn't been with him for years and the only time she ever really thought of him was when she was considering how he could benefit her, or when she was trying to control the way she reacted around Sue Ellen, she liked knowing she had been and maybe was still special though. She knew things Diane didn't and while in this particular situation it wasn't because JR had chosen to share the information about Jack with her, it still thrilled her to be in the inner circle, even if Diane didn't seem to care about things like that. She was competitive and lonely and even if the rivalry was imaginary, because Diane wasn't competing, it felt good to be one up on someone.

Seeing Jock's office door opening, she watched with interest as her boss walked out, shook his nephew's hand, and then grinned and enthusiastically began to introduce him to everything. She knew only a little bit about Jack Ewing but she had a feeling he was going to be interesting to have around.

To be continued…


	553. Matchmaker

**Dallas, Texas**

"Knock knock", setting John Ross down on the floor as they entered the Southfork living room, Sue Ellen smiled as she noticed the look of relief on Bobby's face as he looked up and identified his visitors, they clearly weren't interrupting anything important and their presence was welcomed. "Bo bo", watching John Ross toddling at speed across the wooden floor and onto the rug, toward the armchair Bobby was sitting in, her smile grew as she saw how excited he was to see his uncle and how quick Bobby was to reciprocate, scooping him up into his lap as soon as he appeared at his feet. "Hiya partner, are you excited to see your uncle Bobby? I'm excited to see you", silently watching Bobby as he allowed John Ross to touch his face and helped him get comfortable on his lap, Sue Ellen took a seat on the couch across from them and waited for things to settle before speaking. "I think he is excited, he had a good morning with Mrs Smith, then he had a nap and now he's wide awake again and I think he's excited to be around different people. What about you though? How are you feeling?" Asking in a kind, casual manner, Sue Ellen hoped she could get Bobby talking about their outing the previous evening, so she could then inform him of Pam's visit without seeming as if she was being nosy and trying to involve herself in something that wasn't really her business.

"I'm fine. I slept well last night and woke up with a few bruises but other than that, I feel just fine. Mama insisted I stay home today though, so here I am. I am glad to see you and John Ross though; frankly it's not all that fun sitting at home when you're supposed to be taking it easy, it's not the same as being home on the weekend". Bouncing John Ross on his knee as he spoke, Bobby was grateful to Sue Ellen for the distraction her and John Ross' visit was providing him with. Being cooped up inside when he was 'sick' wasn't nearly as fun as it had been when he'd been a child, now instead of reading comic books and having his mother bring him hot chocolate, he was reading all about the grad schools of Texas and listening to the clock ticking, indicating the time that was slowly passing by. "Miss Ellie just wants to look after her little boy. Actually, speaking of your mama, where is she?" listening to Sue Ellen speaking, he had to smile, his mother certainly did want to look after her little boy, the problem was he wasn't little anymore, and he wasn't actually sick, so her attentiveness had felt more suffocating than anything. "She's at lunch with Mavis, she wasn't going to go but I insisted; her hovering over me last night and this morning was more than enough, probably for both of us if I'm being honest. Please, do stay though, I like the company". Seeing Sue Ellen nod and smile, accepting his answer without trying to analyse his health or tell him off for growing tired of his mother's attention, he let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and continued to bounce his nephew on his knee, much to John Ross' delight.

Sensing her brother-in-law was sick and tired of talking about his health; Sue Ellen decided to change the subject and hold off on telling him about Pamela's enquiries just yet, so nodding her head toward the books and papers spread out on the coffee table, she gave him a quizzical look and waited for him to explain. "Grad school, it's part of my deal with daddy; JR gets Ewing Oil, I get the ranch, but daddy wants me to get my masters first. I've sent in my applications, past the final application date and without GRE scores, but I've done it and now I'm just waiting to see what they say. These are the prospectuses for the programs, I guess I did things a little backwards, I was in a hurry so I applied to every college in Texas that offered anything remotely relevant, only now that I have a whole day of free time am I actually having a proper look at each college and what they have to offer. Don't get me wrong, I loved college the first time around and I'm not dreading going back, it's just that on weekends and when I'm home during the week, I usually have other stuff I'd rather do than read a bunch of academic catalogs; I can't really do any of that other stuff now though, so here I am".

Surprised by his honesty, Sue Ellen didn't really know how to respond to what he had said; she had known Bobby was returning to college, but it sounded like once again, Jock had nudged the situation along at a quicker pace than his son was actually ready for. Bobby clearly wasn't unhappy, and he didn't really have any reason to be, he was getting everything he had wanted, without too much personal sacrifice and at a relatively young age, so she was pleased for him; her feelings toward Jock weren't so positive though. "Oh, that's interesting. I loved college too… good luck, I'm sure you'll do great though", offering only a short response before she was interrupted by the sight and sound of John Ross' squirming and grumbling, she was glad to hear Bobby speaking again. "Someone's getting a bit antsy. John Ross, do you want to go outside?" watching Bobby slowing his bounces down and hearing him suggest a change of scenery, she breathed out and relaxed. Her brother-in-law and son were clearly sick of being cooped up inside, and she was anxious to change the topic, moving away from Jock's wishes for the future, so going outside sounded wonderful.

A few minutes later, Sue Ellen placed John Ross down into his wagon and made sure he was secure before standing up again and motioning to Bobby to start walking. The atmosphere between them had changed again since moving outside and she couldn't explain why, but it just felt like the right time to tell him about Pamela. "So, I had a visitor today…" looking at her brother-in-law as they walked under the large trees that lined the driveway, she smiled as she noted the look of surprise on his face; he didn't know who her visitor was, but she could tell he was glad to be talking about something other than Jock, Miss Ellie, or grad school. "It was Pamela, the young lady from last night, I'm sure you remember her", grinning as she spoke, she remembered the way he had spoken about Pamela on the way home the previous evening; he hadn't been rude, but he had been very clear that he found her attractive. "We've met before and she came to see me again today. She wanted to know how you were…" eyeing him to see whether he was reacting the way she expected him to, her grin grew as he turned his head and looked at her expectantly before asking how she had responded. "I said that I wasn't sure as I hadn't seen you today but yesterday you seemed ok and I was sure you were fine, but if she wanted to she could come and see you for herself. I hope that wasn't too forward of me". Feeling more comfortable with the conversation now that she could tell from his words and facial expressions that he was interested, she waited patiently for him to ask how Pamela had responded to her suggestion, because when he did, she could then tell him the most exciting part, and her role in the situation would move from matchmaker to spectator.

"Well, um, no, she was a nice girl; pretty too, I definitely wouldn't mind seeing her again. Is she coming to visit later, or…?" feeling ridiculously giddy and anxious, Bobby looked at his sister-in-law boyishly as he waited for her answer. He wasn't an inexperienced teenager, he was a young man who had had both casual sex and serious relationships, there was no reason for him to feel embarrassed or overly excited because Sue Ellen had suggested a pretty girl like Pamela come and visit him, but that didn't stop him from feeling that way. "No, she didn't want to intrude on your personal life by just showing up here at Southfork; I told her that her visiting wouldn't be intrusive, it would show you she cared, but I guess she's more on the reserved side. She did give me her phone number though, so I could call her to tell her how you were, or I suppose, since it's clear you're interested, for you to call her…" Listening to Sue Ellen's response, Bobby had to laugh; his sister-in-law was fairly reserved herself, if she were in Pamela's position it was likely she probably wouldn't have just shown up at Southfork either, but now that she was happily married and seemed to enjoy helping others, her actions and suggestions were a little bit less conservative and proper. "Mhm, I just might… what else did she say?" Grinning back at Sue Ellen, he considered the whole situation; he had been set up with many women over the past couple of years, mostly unsuccessfully, but this time, he had a feeling things might just be successful. From the small exchange he had had with Pamela, he liked her, and from what Sue Ellen was saying, she felt the same, so even if things didn't work out in the long-term, he saw no harm in at least calling her.

To be continued…


	554. Introduction

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR?" speaking his son's name as he opened his office door, simply announcing his entrance rather than waiting to be invited in first, Jock Ewing looked expectantly at JR before looking back at Jack, ushering him into JR's office and closing the door behind them. "Ahem", making sure he had his eldest son's full attention, he waited a few seconds before speaking again, "JR, there's someone I want you to meet". Looking at Jack again, he waved his hand in JR's direction, "Jack, this is JR", and then back in Jack's direction, "JR, meet Jack, your cousin. Jack's going to be in Dallas for a while so I thought what better place to start to get to know the city than right here in the Ewing Oil office?" He hoped that for once Sue Ellen had actually reported back to JR about what had gone on at Southfork the previous evening, because it would save him a lot of time if he didn't have to explain how Jack fit into the Ewing family and why he had come to Dallas. He hoped too that there wasn't even a grain of truth to what Ellie had tried to guilt him into before bed either. JR was a grown man, he was surely past the point of sibling jealousy, and if he was jealous of the attention others supposedly received in comparison to the attention he received, then that was something he had to deal with on his own, he had no business bringing Jack into his personal issues. Unfortunately, he knew that considering how he wanted JR to act was one thing, but actually getting him to act that way was another, and only time would tell whether the plans forming in his mind could ever feasibly work. JR had made it clear long ago that he had no interest in sharing anything at Ewing Oil with anyone not named John Ross Ewing, and he had made it very clear in his treatment of Bobby at the office that he intended to follow through with his selfish attitude and set plans. He couldn't blame JR too much for the way he thought, he himself had had to make a number of decisions regarding Ewing Oil that excluded Jason and Digger and he was always cautious about sharing too many deals with the cartel, so he understood JR's mentality, but that didn't mean he supported him completely. He liked Jack, just like he liked Bobby, on a personal level, and while from a business perspective it was obvious that JR had what it took to handle things alone, he didn't want to see people he cared about left out in the cold.

Studying the young man from the moment he entered the room, JR had a pretty good idea about what he was working with when Jack, his 'cousin', eventually spoke. "Nice to meet you JR, Jock's told me all about you. This is an impressive company you two have here. I'm glad I decided to investigate my daddy's stories myself", extending his hand in an introductory gesture, Jack looked at him expectantly and eagerly, and not wanting to reveal his opinion too soon, JR responded in kind, shaking his hand and nodding, before responding verbally in a faux-friendly, somewhat passive aggressive manner. "Howdy", grinning, he slowly walked over to the bar in his office and began to prepare three drinks, "this is an impressive company isn't it? Almost the biggest independent oil company in Texas... I'm sure my daddy, and yours, has told you all about that though, so let's talk about something more personal. Seeing as this visit is all a big surprise to me, let's start with, who is 'Jack'? Then we can move on to what exactly it is he here to investigate? You know, so I can make an informed decision about whether or not it really is nice to meet you". Handing his father and his 'cousin' their drinks, he then strode back to his desk, took a seat in his large, leather chair, and waited for them to follow him and answer his questions.

This Jack person, whether he was a Ewing or not was still to be determined, had clearly found some way to get in with his father and he imagined his father would have some strong words about his attitude toward him when they were alone. He had to make it clear though that he wasn't going to be quite as easy to push into sharing information, power, or tangible things with. Ewing Oil was to be his soon, he had spent years ensuring that the transition would go smoothly when his father retired and eventually died, and he wasn't about to let some stranger walk in off the street and ruin everything for him. He didn't anticipate it would be too difficult to get rid of him though, he was too keen to hear about Ewing Oil and involve himself in things, eventually he would slip up and Jock would realise he was just another moneygrubber. Then there was the matter of his age, he was young and from what Sue Ellen had told him, he had come from working drilling for oil in Alaska, so he was probably inexperienced in anything to do with the business that occurred in offices, therefore, he was unlikely to be a threat to anyone with half a brain. For now though, he couldn't be too impassive, unfortunate experiences in his life had proven to him that just because something should happen didn't necessarily mean it did, so even if he just stood back and allowed Jack to prove himself to be the shady person he sensed he was, things might not turn out as he expected. For that reason, he had to be aware of everything that was going on and a few steps ahead of both his father and his supposed cousin; if he wasn't careful, Jock would have Jack filling Bobby's role in more ways than one, and although he hated to admit it, that would hurt him. He was only just beginning to acknowledge how much it bothered him that his father refused to acknowledge his role in making him into the man he was today, issues and all, and it felt like he'd only just recently won against Bobby in regard to Ewing Oil, so to have to face a new adversary right now was inconvenient. Of course, he didn't doubt his ability to compete, anything Jack could do, he could do better, but the thought of having to compete for his father's affection and attention yet again was wholly unappealing, so if there was a possibility he could get rid of Jack without too much fuss, then it was worth a try.

"Well, that was a warm welcome…" sipping his drink slowly as to not embarrass himself again, Jack took a seat in the chair opposite JR's desk; he hadn't expected JR to be quite so rude, but he wasn't backing down either. Jock liked him and Jock owned Ewing Oil, so if he played nice with JR and continued to build a relationship with Jock, then things might work out exactly as he wanted them to.

To be continued…


	555. Enquiry

**Dallas, Texas**

"Well, that was a warm welcome…" raising an eyebrow as he listened to his supposed cousin talking, JR glanced over at his father and wasn't particularly surprised when he found him looking directly at him. It was highly likely he had expected exactly the response he had given and he was just waiting for him to say something worse so he could justify whatever it was he had in mind for Jack's future. His father was a smart man, but he was also a man who didn't play fair all the time, especially when emotions were involved, and for some reason, they were now. He didn't understand exactly what appeal Jack held for his father, he barely ever mentioned Jason, he wasn't known for being overly generous, and Jack wasn't anywhere near his age, so it's not like they had a lot in common with each other. If what Sue Ellen had told him was true, the most likely reason his father was interested in Jack was because he was self-centred; he liked to be flattered and he liked to talk about himself, so it was nice having someone around to compliment him on his hard work and listen intently to his stories about the old days. He didn't know for sure if his assumptions were true, but if they were and that was what Jack's appeal was, he wasn't sure there was really any possibility that he and his father could have the kind of relationship he wanted them to. He had tried so hard for so long to be better than Bobby in hope of clawing back some of his father's misdirected attention, and he had tried being a mature adult and actually tell his father how he felt, but both attempts to change their relationship had been unsuccessful. With that in mind, it seemed like a sick joke that a stranger could wander into his father's life and gain an unreasonably high amount of attention without much effort. His father had the capacity to love and give positive attention to more than one person, but by doing so selectively with Bobby and Jack, but not he, John Ross, or even Gary, he was choosing to alienate certain people, it wasn't an inevitable consequence.

"Mm, yes, well I'm not sure what you expected. You seem to know all about me and my family, but I know nothing about you, or even really of you, so I think it's only reasonable for me to have a few questions. I'm sure you don't experience it in Alaska or wherever you're from, but around these parts the Ewing name means something, and as part of the reason why it means something, I think I have the right to be protective; you wouldn't believe how many people have a hidden agenda when attempting to associate with us". Looking Jack in the eye as he spoke, JR hoped the young man was smart enough to listen to what he was saying and understand what he wasn't directly saying, because he wanted him to understand, but he didn't want to have to explicitly say it, not in front of his father who seemed to be captivated by him. There was no way his father would take his suspicions seriously just yet so he needed to play it safe and wait for the right time and until he had enough information to prove that Jack had not come to Dallas solely for a tour of the office and a drink with his extended family. He didn't have any proof, but it seemed obvious to him that his 'cousin' was an opportunistic, greedy man who was not just going to disappear now that he had seen what the Dallas Ewings had.

Meeting JR's gaze, Jack leaned forward just slightly, taking another sip of his drink, and then responding, "you know, you're right, things are different in Alaska, and you don't know much about me, so I guess I can understand why you're protective of your family and their assets. I have to say though, I didn't expect to be met with such hostility, and frankly, rudeness, especially not after the way uncle Jock described you, and after my interactions with your mother, niece, and your lovely wife went. I'm not here for any reason other than to meet the family I've heard so much about, and I'm trying to do that, but you don't make it very easy. If you want to know who I am and what exactly I'm here to investigate, I'll tell you, I have nothing to hide, but if you've already decided I'm not worthy of your attention, I'm not sure I should even bother". He'd done some research on what exactly he was going to find when he eventually made contact with his family, so it was a bit of a stretch of the truth to say he hadn't expected to be met with hostility from JR, because from his research, JR wasn't particularly friendly with other men, however, experiencing it was still surprising. Jock had been so welcoming to begin with, and although the rest of the family had been a bit distracted by Bobby's predicament the previous evening, they had still been polite and friendly, so to come up against such suspicion and negativity from JR was a bit of a shock to him. He had sensed something was going on in the family during his visit to Southfork though, so he wondered if perhaps everyone's behaviour and attitude toward him was influenced by that too; perhaps there was more to the Dallas Ewings than his research had described and Jock had chosen to inform him of just yet.

Taking a drink, JR watched Jack with interest; he was certainly young, he still seemed to have the mind of an immature teenager, and if his eyes weren't deceiving him, he was not an experienced bourbon drinker, which to him meant that he wasn't experienced in much of anything important. Just because he was immature and naïve though didn't mean he was someone he didn't have to pay attention to, because he was; Jack had managed to convince his father that he was worth interacting with and that was dangerous. Surprisingly, his father was watching them quietly, but if he knew his father, he was listening carefully to everything that was being said, so he had to ensure his concerns for the Ewing family as a whole were clear, otherwise he risked his father thinking he was being selfish and unfair toward Jack, his new pet project. "I'll tell you why you should bother, if your answer is satisfactory, you get the opportunity to prove yourself as something different to the rest of the pack, but if it's not, or you simply walk off in a huff to sulk about how rude and hostile I am, then that opportunity disappears. Nothing in this world is free, and not everything is fair; those who accept that reality and deal with it do well in life, the others, not so much. You might be a Ewing in name, and my daddy may have invited you into our home on that pretence, but a name only gets you so far, from here on out, you have to prove that you're worthy of this family's time and attention. Since you have nothing to hide and you seem to be very eager to gain something here, let's begin now; start at the beginning, I want to know everything".

To be continued…


	556. The Phone Call

**Dallas, Texas**

"…Cliff, I am not making chow mein again, we've already eaten it three times this week, and I don't even really like Chinese food…" staring at her brother in frustration, Pamela Barnes silently willed him to shut up and eat. She was anxious and jumpy due to not having heard anything from Sue Ellen yet, as well as not having seen her father awake and sober yet today, and having Cliff complaining about her cooking was not helping her mood. She loved her family, she really did, but for there just being the three of them, there sure was a lot of drama in their lives and dysfunction in their home. Sometimes she wished the calm normalcy that occurred when she was at work or out on a date would carry over to her home life, but so far, that hadn't been the case. "But I don't like pork chops and green beans", listening to her brother's whining, her stare turned into a glare, and when the phone began to ring, instead of the happy relief she had been hoping to feel when she finally spoke to Sue Ellen, all she felt was irritation and agitation. "Cliff, you're an adult, grow up and eat the food in front of you or make something yourself, but don't complain to me, I'm your sister, not your maid", continuing to glare at him as he threw his hands in the air as if he didn't understand why she was annoyed, she stood, excused herself, and walked into the kitchen. Her brother was a serious lawyer at the office, but at home it sometimes seemed like he hadn't grown up at all since they were kids.

A few miles away, Bobby Ewing was equally as anxious as he listened to the ringback tone as he waited for Pamela to answer his call. He wasn't fifteen, he was well beyond the time in his life where merely speaking to a girl was something to get nervous about, but for the first time in years, that's how he felt, and he couldn't say he liked it. It didn't help his nervousness either that living at Southfork he risked having his family member eavesdropping on his conversation, either purposely or accidentally, because although they were wealthy, for one reason or another they only had one phone line, and unless he wanted to go down to the small office in the stables, that was just how it was. Realistically though, there wasn't a whole lot he actually had to be embarrassed about, as he kept reminding himself he wasn't a teenager, he was a grown man, it wasn't a big deal that he was interested in a woman and he really had nothing to lose by just phoning her. The thing about the specific situation with Pamela that was making him the most nervous was really the depth of his feelings despite not really knowing anything about her at all. He liked to think he was less shallow than JR, because his brother had a special way of picking women based on one trait he was craving and then disassociating himself with them once he was satisfied, however, in his heart he knew that he had done the same with Pamela, though he didn't plan on treating her as disposable. He supposed Sue Ellen was the exception to JR's rule, she had found a way to keep him coming back to her and after years of getting used to monogamy he seemed to actually understand the concept now, but still, he didn't want to be like JR, he liked to think he was more noble than that. Of course, there were times where he envied JR and Sue Ellen's happy, stable relationship, and John Ross was a joy to be around, but he wasn't actively trying to replicate what they had with each other and he liked to think there was more emotional motivation behind his actions than his brother's actions. He wanted Pamela for reasons other than because she was pretty, or he wanted to think he did, the truth was though, other than knowing that she was an empathetic person and that she worked in an office, he didn't know much about her at all; he really did want to change that though.

"Hello?" hearing a female voice on the other end of the line, his thoughts were brought back into the present, and attempting to swallowing his nervousness, he responded, "hi, is that Pamela?" before internally cringing as he wondered whether she thought he sounded as boring and stupid as he felt. At the sound of her, "yes", response, he felt less silly though and even began to relax a bit when she continued, "is this Bobby?" He couldn't see her, but the overactive imagination he'd had as a child was back in use and he could just imagine her smiling, twirling the telephone cord around her finger like Lucy, Sue Ellen, and his mother seemed to do when they were talking on the phone. "Yes, it is. I take it you remember me?" continuing the conversation with a bland question spoken in a casual, flirty tone, he relaxed back onto his bed and listened to her response, an equally mundane statement that he felt meant more than the words themselves because of the tone she was using. They were clearly holding something back from each other, probably out of fear of saying something more personal and emotional and not having the other respond with equal emotion; however, despite playing it safe with their topics of conversation, it felt right.

"…I'm glad to hear you're ok, I know it wasn't my fault but I felt so guilty last night…" stopping mid-sentences as Cliff walked into the kitchen muttering something about the food needing soy sauce or sesame oil to 'improve' the flavour, Pam glared at him and pointed at the phone. As he nodded and grabbed the handset off her though, she knew her point had been completely lost on him. "Frank, we're in the middle of dinner, call her later", listening to him speaking to Bobby, she couldn't help but laugh at his mistake, though when he actually hung up, her amusement turned to slight panic and annoyance. "Are you sure that man's all there? This isn't the first time he's called during dinner… speaking of dinner, soy sauce…" listening to her brother speaking mostly to himself, her mood swung around again; Cliff was difficult to live with at times, but he wasn't a bad person, and despite not knowing much about Bobby, she didn't think he was either. With that in mind, she was sure Bobby would take the direction given to him as Frank over the phone and call back later, for now though, Cliff was right, it was dinnertime and although it was only the two of them tonight, it was still family time.

To be continued…


	557. Venting

**Dallas, Texas**

Running her fingers over the nape of JR's neck as she listened to his thoughts on his day for probably the third or fourth time that evening, Sue Ellen was more thankful now than ever that they lived in their own home. It gave them the freedom to walk away from tense or trying situations without causing a fuss, and they were close enough to Southfork to visit, but far enough away that they were not forced to spend every minute of their day with the family in one way or another. Closeness was a good thing, everyone wanted strong family bonds and most people benefited from those bonds, but there was also something to be said for personal space, especially at times like this. JR had a long, complicated history with his parents and she was hopeful that eventually they would be able to work through and move past the things that challenged their relationship closeness, but for now, that wasn't how things were and it was a blessing that they weren't forced to play nice with each other all day and all night.

"…you should have seen it, it was nauseating. He gushed over daddy and Ewing Oil and daddy lapped it up. Oil is one of my favourite things to talk about, you know that, but this was just odd, it wasn't a conversation as much as it was a stream of adoration. I tried to get him to talk about himself, and why he was here, but everything seemed to come back to daddy and Ewing Oil. It's not normal, he's not daddy's son, he's Jason's, or he says he is; unless my uncle Jason is some nutcase who doesn't stop talking about the brother he never speaks to and the company he hasn't been a part of for decades, this Jack person is obsessed for no reasonable reason. I suspect if he really is Jason's son, that Jason mentioned a couple of times he used to be involved in Ewing Oil, then Jack did some research and decided to make his way down to Dallas to cosy up to daddy and get himself a nice little slice of the Ewing Oil pie. I can't prove it though, not yet, but I'm working on it…" Caught between feeling irritated and sad at the clear indication that his father was easily swayed by such insincere flattery from a stranger but yet so gruff with him, and feeling gleeful at the thought of catching his supposed cousin out and giving him everything that was coming to him, JR savoured his drink and continued to think aloud. Sue Ellen was capable of intelligent conversation, Patricia had made sure of it, but she was also emotionally intelligent and while she often knew what to say when he was looking for a response, she also seemed to have an intuitive knowledge of when he just wanted someone to listen to him, like he did now. Doctor Williams had been a big help to both he and Sue Ellen, he had taught them a lot about emotional communication and he'd genuinely helped their relationship; he didn't go around publicising it, but he didn't deny privately that that was the case, and at times like these, he was glad he had given the good doctor a chance.

"Another thing; Jack is distracting daddy and not in a good way. You know mama and I are going to see the doc together tomorrow; I had Diane block a time in my agenda the way she does with our appointments, and I know that daddy saw it, but he didn't say anything. It's silly to feel disappointed by that, because I don't want him to grill me about where I'm going and why, I'm sure he already knows from talking to mama, but the indifference he's showing now is a surprise. I have everything I need for future control of the company, and with Bobby leaving I thought everything was going to start running more smoothly, but I have this awful feeling that somehow Jack is going to swoop in and gain something that he's not entitled to and I'm going to have to put up with it because of timing. Daddy isn't on my side in this, and he doesn't even seem to be challenging me when I challenge the changes that are being made, it's like he's given up on me because I'm too difficult and Jack is much easier to deal with". Continuing to talk, he didn't know whether he was making much sense and he was sure he sounded like a complete wuss, just like Gary, always blaming everyone else for his own weaknesses and insecurities, but he found himself speaking aloud anyway; he wasn't afraid of Sue Ellen knowing he was human. He did have a reputation though and that reputation hadn't come from nowhere; he planned to get rid of Jack, even if it was only because his presence made him feel insecure. He couldn't and wouldn't put up with strangers showing up in his life trying to steal the things that were his; his family was his family and his company was his company, he already did enough sharing with Bobby, there was no more room to comfortably accommodate other men and simply tolerating them being there just wasn't a long-term option. He had a plan though, he already had a man investigating his 'cousin' and he was sure that once he had a better picture of the full story, Jack wouldn't be bothering the city of Dallas for much longer.

"Oh JR, I don't think your daddy has given up on you, you're his firstborn son, you hold a special place in his heart, his life, and in Ewing Oil. Jack is a novelty, that's all; he's new and he's charming, but his charm is the kind of charm that gets old quickly, it's all based on superficial nonsense, not a genuine connection. Give it a week or two and your daddy will be sick of telling the same stories on repeat, and with Jack not having much of anything of his own to contribute, I think things will start to even out. In the meantime, why don't you try using this time to benefit your relationship with your mama? You heard what Doctor Williams said, your daddy isn't receptive to discussing the past right now, but your mama is and you've agreed to do that tomorrow. With your daddy distracted, this might be the perfect opportunity to start a conversation with your mama; you can talk with Doctor Williams and in private without having your daddy hovering around making unsolicited comments and judgements. I know it's hard to see Jack's presence as a positive thing, because for what it's worth I don't trust him completely either, I know exactly what you mean when you say he seems too interested in Ewing Oil and the past; but please, don't let him being here crush your spirit. You're JR Ewing, you're so special, to me, to John Ross, to your mama, and I know to the rest of the family too, even if things get tense sometimes. Jack is new, he's something interesting to play with for a little while, but he's not established, not like you are, and if you just wait it out, I'm sure your position in the family will be clear again soon". Knowing her husband and seeing the way Jack was with Jock, she understood him and his concerns; however, she also had a clearer vision of the future and a more optimistic attitude. JR had the perfect opportunity to make good with his mother without his father's interference, so instead of focusing on getting rid of Jack, she believed he should instead focus on improving his own life. She also believed that while the family treated JR pretty badly sometimes, they wouldn't choose Jack over JR, they did have some loyalty, and surely everyone else had noticed that Jack didn't seem completely genuine either. Continuing to run her fingers over the nape of his neck, she hoped her gentle action and encouragement to look at the less negative side of the situation would work. JR was her husband and she only wanted the best for him, and right now, she really believed that meant not focusing on his father's selfishness but instead focusing on how he could use the opportunity to move things along in other areas of his life.

To be continued…


	558. Introductory Session Two

**Dallas, Texas**

"Mama", standing as his mother entered Doctor Williams' waiting room, JR touched her hand lightly to greet her and was pleasantly surprised when she squeezed his hand and smiled at him in response; for all the awkwardness between them recently, things didn't seem to be quite as bad presently as he had imagined they would be. "JR", taking a seat next to where he had been sitting, she waited for him to sit down too before speaking again, "thank you for agreeing to meet with me here today, I meant what I said, I am sorry and I do want to change things". Listening to her words, he took note of her facial expression and knew she was telling the truth; it was likely that she really hadn't realised quite how much her actions and attitude had hurt him, but now that he had told her point blank, she felt guilty and wanted to make a change. Her willingness to try to improve things was nice, it wasn't often that he was around someone who listened to his perspective and actually looked at their own actions and how they had contributed to his perspective. He didn't completely trust his mother to do that in everything either, she still adored Bobby and with his luck probably thought Jack was a 'fine young man' too, but with her words during their meeting a couple of days ago and the way things felt now, he did feel like he could trust her a bit more now. Sue Ellen's point was probably one he should listen to too, instead of focusing his emotional energy on his relationship with his father and what could have been, but was currently not there, it would be better to focus on trying to build something with his mother, she, unlike his father, was at least willing to discuss everything with him. "So do I mama", keeping his response short, because he really didn't want to get too deep in conversation out in the open area, he then cleared his throat and changed the subject, steering toward something much blander, something he didn't care about the other patients or the receptionist overhearing, "did you, find the place ok?"

A few minutes later, walking down the hall and into the waiting room, Doctor Williams greeted JR and the elder Mrs Ewing before waving his hand down the hallway and directing them to his office. Taking the short period between entering his office and settling down to study the interaction between mother and son, his initial suspicions about the relationship between the pair were confirmed, though in actually seeing them together, a new set of questions were raised too. He would have to wait to see what they actually had to say to him and to each other, but he could see that there was a distance between them, though it seemed it wasn't by choice; what puzzled him most though was how the self-declared mighty JR Ewing was so affected by his mother, a small, seemingly kind woman. Of course, he knew not to judge a situation on appearances; the smallest, least physically imposing people could still have wicked tongues, and the most confident, bold people still had feelings that could be hurt. The few minutes he had seen JR and his mother together had set his mind racing though, they were an interesting pair and he sensed things were about to get more interesting.

"JR, nice to see you again, and Mrs Ewing, nice to meet you", following JR down the hallway, Miss Ellie nodded friendlily as he greeted her, responding with a genuine, "it's a pleasure to finally meet you", and taking a seat on the couch next to JR. It was true, after months of hearing all about the magical Doctor Williams, and seeing the positive results of his work, she was thrilled to actually have the opportunity to talk with him. She was conscious of the fact that she wasn't just a visitor to his office though, she was a patient too, much like JR and Sue Ellen were. It was definitely a pleasure to meet the man that had vastly improved JR and Sue Ellen's marriage, she had been curious about him for a long time, but she wasn't naïve enough to believe all of her interactions with him would be so pleasant. She was present to try to work through the emotional issues she and JR had with each other and if their previous conversations were anything to go by, that wouldn't be very easy.

"Likewise", nodding and smiling at Mrs Ewing, who had insisted he refer to her simply as Miss Ellie, especially since he, JR, and Sue Ellen were on first-name basis with each other, Doctor Williams looked between both Miss Ellie and JR and spoke again, "so, now that we're all acquainted, shall we discuss why we're here today?" Taking note of JR's sigh and Miss Ellie's sad facial expression, he had an idea, though without their verbal assistance he wasn't completely sure. Not one to sidestep issues because they were uncomfortable though, he jumped straight into an attempt to determine exactly why he had been asked to meet with them, "no takers? That's fine, let's talk about something I know you both have an interest in. How is John Ross?" Sensing that the issues between mother and son were very much related to that familial relationship, he decided to approach it from another angle. From talking to JR and Sue Ellen, he knew a lot of the way they wished to raise their son was related directly to how they themselves were raised, especially JR in relation to his father and Ewing Oil, but too in relation to his mother and his brothers. What he was interested in hearing from Miss Ellie was how she regarded her relationship with her eldest son, especially in relation to her other sons, he was getting the feeling that she was shying away from talking now though, but he wasn't a quitter and they had sought his help. He didn't mind having to go through the backdoor, enquiring after John Ross first, most conversations with his patients gave him some insight of value, and the majority of the time such complex issues weren't simply fixed in a day, so listening and waiting was just fine.

Looking at JR as the doctor spoke, Miss Ellie relaxed a little; she'd initially been pleased to meet him, but as soon as he had asked for an explanation about why they were present, she'd been reminded of exactly that; with the doctor's second question though, her mood improved, she loved John Ross and he was easy to talk about. "He's wonderful, isn't he JR? He's just like how Bobby and JR were when they were babies, he loves walking and he's so inquisitive when it comes to the physical world, he's always touching things, toddling back and forth, playing with his toys, and he adores the animals in the barn. He's taking his time with talking, but that's not a surprise, he's a Ewing but he's still a baby, he can't be good at everything, plus, he's just shy of a year old, it would be a surprise if he was good at everything already. Both of my grandchildren are wonderful, I think they both take after their daddies too, Lucy always enjoyed being held when she was young, just like Gary, though I think Lucy has been shaped quite a bit by her circumstances, she's a lot quicker to speak her mind than Gary was… John Ross though, he's a joy to have around, he's an example of reciprocal love, he has no reservations about showing affection to those who show him affection. It's taken Jock far too long to work out that if he wants the close relationship he's always envisioned he would have with his first grandson, then he has to work for it, but when he does work for it, it's so worth it. Lucy helped him understand that, she adores John Ross and I think she feels a real kinship with him, she wants him to have a relationship with his grandfather and she's been of great assistance for Jock".

Listening to what Miss Ellie had to say and studying the way she said it and how JR reacted to her as she did, Doctor Williams nodded, made small "mm" and "mhm" sounds to indicate he was listening, and mentally began to build a picture in his mind. His initial thought that the small, homely woman was also a kind woman appeared to be true, and it seemed apparent to him that she held family in high esteem, what still puzzled him though was what exactly the issue between she and JR was. JR clearly had issues with his father, issues that were completely understandable from the stories he told, and from the way Miss Ellie spoke about her husband, it seemed that she had an opinion on his attitude and actions, however, whether she ever spoke out against him was a different matter. Their problems could be as simple as that, but he didn't know for sure and he couldn't assume anything, so instead of assuming, he just continued to watch and listen; studying his patients body language was just as helpful as listening to their spoken language.

To be continued…


	559. Ewing Son

**Dallas, Texas**

"JR?" turning his head away from his mother, JR faced Doctor Williams, looking at him blankly for a second before remembering exactly what was going on. The good doctor had asked about John Ross, his mother had answered in a way that emphasised how much she loved being a grandmother, and for a moment, he had been surprised and a bit jealous. He didn't want to feel like it was silly, not in Doctor Williams' office, the man had spent months emphasising that his feelings were valid, even if they were unpopular, so he didn't want to label his emotion as silly or insignificant, but not wanting to feel one way didn't stop him from feeling that way. It was a bit irrational, his mother had mentioned how much John Ross mirrored him as a child and how much she adored him, so one would assume she had similar feelings about him, her first baby, and he knew she had, she had explicitly told him that during one of their conversations, but still, he felt something negative. It was all very well hearing about how much his mother adored her grandson and how much she had loved him when he was a baby, and it was nice to hear her mentioning her disapproval of his father's attitude, but he still held a lot of resentment inside him and it wasn't so easy to think rationally. He had to try though, and he had to communicate his feelings, he wasn't completely emotionally stunted and he wasn't inexperienced in the process he and his mother were supposed to be participating in, so with that in mind he considered the doctor's question and the likely motivation behind the question.

"I agree, John Ross is wonderful, he's everything and more than I could have hoped or asked for. It wasn't until I met Sue Ellen that I really understood what love was, but it wasn't until she told me that she was pregnant and then later when I held my son in my arms that I truly understood how much love I was capable of feeling. I always wanted a son, but only after actually meeting John Ross did I realise that I was motivated by all the wrong things. Daddy needed a grandson for the sake of Ewing Oil, mama wanted another grandchild to look after, and Sue Ellen and I had been married for long enough where the questions and uncertainty of the situation was starting to get to me. The minute John Ross was born though, none of that mattered, and every moment since then has been a blessing, not just because it finally gave Sue Ellen and I some breathing room, but because like mama said, John Ross truly is wonderful. Mama's right too, he's an example of reciprocal love, you show him love, he loves you back, it's that simple, he's not disillusioned by the world around him; he loves and he is loved, it's not something he has to worry about or question…" Seeing the look on his mother's face, he knew he had hurt her with his honesty, and in a way that made him feel bad, but he couldn't lie; she felt guilty for loving Gary and Bobby more than him, but her guilt and quick apologies weren't enough to eliminate the effect years of loneliness had had on him. "I'm sorry mama, I know how you feel about this topic; I believe you that you didn't see how things were until recently, and I hear your apologies, but it's going to take some time for me to let it go, it's just who and how I am. What I hope for John Ross is that he never has to have the same thoughts I have, and with the way things are, I don't think he will; you see Sue Ellen, Bobby, and Lucy with him, and I see you with him; he is loved, very much. You're right about daddy though, he doesn't know what he's missing out on, or I suppose maybe he does now, he seemed to take an interest in him while we were in Colorado, not that that made a lasting impression, he's off showing Jack everything that's mine, everything I already had to fight Bobby for, and won might I add. The way he distributes love doesn't really work in scenarios like this and he's going to have to make a choice, I just hope he makes the right one…"

This time listening to JR and watching Miss Ellie's reactions, Doctor Williams' suspicions were confirmed, JR clearly had issues with his father, and his mother and brothers too, but he had already known that from their prior sessions. He'd already known too that JR's hopes for his son were to have a childhood that replicated the wonderful parts of his own, but completely bypassed all the painful, negative parts, all while building character and strength though, because naturally he couldn't have his son turning out like the brother he had mentioned a couple of times, Gary, the coward. He didn't know all that much about Gary, but he got the sense from Miss Ellie's words and JR's previous comments that he was very much the odd one out in the Ewing family; where JR thought he was different and felt different, he still looked down on his younger brother. It wasn't particularly beneficial for JR to look down on anyone, especially if he wanted to feel more loved and accepted, but it was interesting, it was something he'd have to explore another day though. Right now, the thing that most intrigued him was the honest way JR had spoken about his emotions, and more so, how he had related them back to Bobby, his father, and someone named Jack. JR clearly loved his son very much, and from previous meetings he knew he never wanted to exactly replicate the relationship he had with his father with John Ross, because Jock Ewing never seemed to grasp that his eldest son was more than just that, he was more than an heir, and more than a namesake, he was a person. JR was telling his mother he craved love, for himself and for his family; he wanted to love and be loved, just like John Ross was, but at present, he didn't feel like he was. Knowing JR, the amount of vulnerability he was showing was an indication of how strongly he felt, showing that side of himself in front of his mother was promising though; there was hope for the two of them, though JR's statement about it taking time was absolutely true too. Jock Ewing on the other hand was proving to be more challenging than he'd anticipated, not only did he not seem to acknowledge or understand how his actions were affecting his relationship with his son, he didn't sound like he wanted to acknowledge that truth, he was happy to write off JR's feelings and concerns as unimportant. If what JR was saying was true, which it probably was, plus or minus some emotionally biased recounting, then it was no wonder JR had a few issues. With a father who treated everyone else 'better' than he treated one of his sons, and a mother who had unknowingly unequally divided her love and attention, it was also no wonder JR wanted different for his son, and why he was so cautious about letting people in to see other parts of himself.

To be continued…


	560. Misconstruction

**Dallas, Texas**

Listening to her eldest son as he responded to Doctor Williams' question and very clearly relayed his feelings about John Ross and the life he wanted for him, Miss Ellie had mixed emotions. On one hand she was thrilled that her once selfish, immature son had finally matured and was able to communicate how strongly he loved another person, but on the other hand, it hurt a lot to hear his constant reminders of how her own actions, or inactions, had shaped him and how that was shaping his treatment of John Ross. She had acknowledged her role in JR's life though and she was ready to make a change, that's why they were seeing Doctor Williams now, for guidance as to how to actually make changes rather than just keep talking about the same things repeatedly without moving forward. She was well past the point in her life where she could ignore problems in hope that they would disappear if she didn't acknowledge them, it hadn't worked in the 1930s and it wouldn't work now; back then she had had to make serious decisions about Southfork, and now she had to do the same for her relationship with JR.

"…he doesn't know what he's missing out on, or I suppose maybe he does now, he seemed to take an interest in him while we were in Colorado, not that that made a lasting impression, he's off showing Jack everything that's mine, everything I already had to fight Bobby for, and won might I add. The way he distributes love doesn't really work in scenarios like this and he's going to have to make a choice, I just hope he makes the right one…" Hearing JR change topic slightly, her emotions changed again, this time she almost completely agreed with him, and knowing JR, he would appreciate her telling him that, so when he finished, she cleared her throat to respond. "I agree. I love your father, but I'm not blind to his actions and attitudes. He's not solely responsible for the situation with John Ross and I believe that he didn't really understand what to do before Lucy nudged him and showed him, but that doesn't excuse everything before and after. He has to make his own effort with John Ross, but in his own way I think that's what those dinner invitations are, so please, if you're still undecided about those, just say yes, even if it might not be something you personally want to do at the moment". Pausing for a second to differentiate between her response to his comments about Jock's role as a grandfather and his role as a father and uncle, she waited for JR to quietly nod to tell her he was listening before frowning and waiting for her to continue. He might not completely agree with what she was saying, even if she did generally agree with his opinion, but he was still listening to her and hadn't closed himself off yet, that was progress, especially in comparison to their previous conversation where he had told her how he felt but then shut down when it came to further discussion.

"I agree too with what you said about your daddy's interests being in the wrong place at times. I've tried to explain to him what you've been trying to tell us about how you feel about your childhood, but he doesn't understand. I'm sorry about that, I really wish he did understand, I know how much it would mean to you to have him acknowledge your feelings…" Pausing briefly again, she made sure to make eye contact with him to confirm he had heard her and was still listening, and when he did, she continued. "You're right, he is making a choice at the moment, and it's not the one that's the most beneficial to his already established relationships. I think you might be a little biased toward Jack though, you say his name with a sneer without any real reason to, but I think understand some of why that is, and I want you to know I support you. Ewing Oil is yours, the ranch is Bobby's, that's how it is, and Jack being here doesn't change that; our family has spent far too long arguing over commercial entities and I don't want to start that conflict again".

"I also don't wish to see you treating your brother, father, and cousin with malevolence, but in the present circumstances, I do understand why you would feel like that was appropriate. Your daddy and I didn't treat you, or Bobby, or Gary fairly when you were boys and we're paying for it now, I feel foolish not having realised it sooner, but now that I do I see the cracks in our family and I want to change things. Your daddy isn't at that point yet, he doesn't see an issue, with you, Bobby, or Jack, and I'm sure you already understand him well enough to know this, but I'll remind you anyway; Jock doesn't react well to aggressive behaviour toward those he's close with. If you want to make a point about what you wish to retain as yours and the relationship you wish to build with your daddy, then you have to be tactful; you can't barrel through the situation, knocking things down left and right. I know it's not fair, I heard the anger and hurt in your voice when you spoke about how it felt to be you growing up, and I see now just how stubborn and biased Jock can be, but you know your daddy, he'll fight back twice as hard if you instigate a situation. For your sake and the sake of your family's happiness, I beg you not to do that; I know how vicious you can be and I don't doubt if you wanted to, you could stop Jack from getting any closer with your daddy, but we both know that wouldn't benefit you and your relationship with him. He has enough love, attention, and energy to spread around to the whole family, but as you pointed out, the way distributes his attention isn't always equal and that is heart-breaking. I want to help you, and him, and I want us to build our relationship too, but I also want you to listen to me and respect my wishes. Do you think we can tackle our problems together, by talking about them and trying to change things, without turning to aggression and sneaky tactics?" Well aware of how JR had treated Bobby when he had perceived him as a threat at Ewing Oil, she worried for Jack and how JR's actions would affect his relationship with Jock, but she worried too that JR would get too caught up in anger to focus on more constructive things like rebuilding their relationship and finding inner happiness. She was dealing with an incredible amount of guilt herself too and she knew that worrying about JR's single-minded revenge plan would not help her own mental state. It was simplistic and a bit naïve to want, but she did wish he would just accept things with Jock as they were for now and instead spend his time and energy focusing on more positive things; he had a wife, a son, and he now had her understanding and Doctor Williams' assistance. Unfortunately, in situations like this, nothing was ever quite that simple.

"Mama, do you know me or trust me at all? I'm not stupid, if I were going to ruin Jack, I wouldn't make it so obvious that it was me… I'm not going to ruin him though, so you don't have to worry, about me or him. Jack is a phony, he's nothing and nobody special, not here in Dallas and likely not in Alaska either, he's going to ruin himself simply by being who he is. Daddy will tire of telling the story of Ewing Oil soon enough, and when Jack has nothing of any value to offer him or Ewing Oil, he'll lose interest. I'm not hurt or upset by Jack's presence, I'm irritated, I can see the situation unfolding a mile away, daddy doesn't though, and neither do you. A smooth talker so easily influences everyone, it's nauseating and it does bother me, but only because I can't believe how much everyone else gets away with without consequence, compared to how much I have had to work for. First Bobby and his entire run at Ewing Oil, now Jack; it's so obvious if you just look at things from any perspective but your own…" Hearing everything his mother had said, but focusing mostly on what she had somehow twisted his words about Jack into, JR felt frustrated as he responded. He didn't know if he was focusing too much on something insignificant but when he considered the rest of their conversation it just felt so typical that his mother wouldn't understand his perspective, she hadn't much in the past and she was only just starting to train herself to think about him now. Glancing over at Doctor Williams, his frustration grew, the man could be so helpful at times, mostly when he actually had something to say, but then there were times like this where he was clearly completely observant, but he remained silent. "Say it, whatever it is you're thinking, say it", glaring at the doctor, he spoke again and then waited. He was probably being a bit rude, he knew that, but he had so many thoughts and emotions running through his mind that he didn't care, he was paying for professional help and it was his right to control the flow of some of that help, so he was.

To be continued…


	561. Another Perspective

**Dallas, Texas**

Not fazed by JR's outbursts, Doctor Williams used his usual calm, rational tone of voice as he responded to JR's demand for answers. "Ok, well, firstly, I don't know who Jack is in relation to your family, but I don't think that really truly matters either, his presence in your father's life obviously bothers you and you're lashing out at him and your father. From what you and your mother have said though, I can understand why you would feel threatened and upset by his presence and why you would want to expel him from your world. It sounds to me like you're fed up with having to compete for something that should be free to you and that you can't understand why it isn't, your experience as a father yourself brings a whole new set of questions to the table, questions that your father himself probably needs to answer".

"That brings me to my second thought, it sounds to me like you're not focusing your energy in the right place, you're blaming everyone but your father directly for what you perceive to be an injustice in your life. Now, I know you've spoken to your father before and it always seems to fall on deaf ears, but I don't think that necessarily justifies targeting the next person in line, for example, in the past Bobby, and now Jack. You've told me before in not so many words that you understand Bobby was raised differently to you and therefore his perspective on Ewing Oil and his relationship with your father differs to your perspective, I want you to remember that and apply it to Jack too. Where Bobby could only naturally expect to walk into a somewhat important role at Ewing Oil upon college graduation, one you had to put in the hard yards and work your way up, you understand that he only expected that because of how things had always been between him and Jock. In the same way, your father likely didn't see an issue with how he treated Bobby back then because like your mother has explained, it never occurred to him that such inequality existed so it's hard to believe when he's accused of being unfair".

"I think the same thing may be happening now, I've never met your father so I can't say for sure, but it sounds to me like he's a strong-willed man who doesn't take kindly to other people telling him he's doing things 'wrong'. He sees things like that as a personal attack rather than as a suggestion to look outside himself and see things from a different perspective. To him, there was nothing wrong with his choice to bring Bobby into the business and give him all the help in the world, and that action by itself isn't wrong, but when you put it in context of how he treated Bobby in comparison to how he treated you, there is a problem. Likewise, with Jack, I'm sure he thinks he's just doing a nice thing by showing him around Dallas and treating him well, even seemingly better than he treats you. It's unfair, and I understand that it's frustrating to you to see it and perceive his quality as a person to be beneath you and therefore beneath your family, but I think your perspective here is, like your mother said, possibly a bit biased".

"Now, I don't mean it's wrong for you to feel how you do, remember your feelings are always valid, even if they're unpopular, all I'm saying is that looking at the whole situation, I think you're taking out your anger and frustration on the wrong people. Bobby didn't set out to push you out of Ewing Oil, and I doubt Jack is expecting to gain anything near what you're assuming in your head; like your mother said too, and like we've discussed in the past, Ewing Oil is yours anyway, so even if things did change, nothing extreme can happen without your involvement. Your father is set to retire in the next couple of years and at that point half of Ewing Oil is yours, not just to run, but to own, then a long time in the future, ownership and control passes to you entirely; you have a legal agreement and he cannot break that agreement without consequences. You're safe in respect to Ewing Oil, I don't think that's something you have to worry about. What is on your mind and I absolutely support you doing is making a statement in your personal life, not toward Bobby or Jack though, toward your father himself. I know, I know, you've tried and it's gone nowhere, believe me, I understand your frustration, I just don't believe taking your anger out on associated parties who haven't directly harmed you".

"Now, I know you'll not accept that without a suggestion for change, so I'll tell you honestly here, right now I don't see things as being all that workable with your father. You can only do so much before you've exhausted your options and are simply waiting for a response; in this case, I think communicating clearly and directly with your father is the best option, but if he's not listening to you when you do that, then you either try a different communication style, or you take a break. Taking a break is a last resort; it can often be hard to come back from, even if in the short-term it seems like the most pleasant option, so trying a different style of communication might work better, even if it is frustrating and feels pointless. What I mean by a different style of communication is instead of sitting your father down and telling him exactly how you feel, because we've established that he doesn't process that information how you want him to, you get him alone and you talk to him in a way that does make sense to him. For example, instead of telling him you feel he treats Bobby and Jack better than he treats you and you don't think that's fair, you could ask him what he thinks of your relationship, then what he thinks of his relationships with others, and how and why those two things differ".

"Again, I don't know him, but it sounds like he's very traditional and set in his ways, he attaches titles and roles to people and those titles and roles are hard to shake off, much the same way Patricia was with Sue Ellen. If you get to understand the way his mind works, you might further understand how you can change things, or you might make no further progress, I don't know, but neither do you, so it's worth a try. The other option if you've exhausted trying to communicate is simply moving on and waiting for things to calm and mature before trying again; that's drastic though, and difficult with so many members of your extended family intertwined with your nuclear family and your work life. You and your father are involved in a lot more together than just a father-son relationship and any changes you make will likely affect more than just your personal relationship. With that being said though, I don't think things can get much worse than they are already, so whatever you choose to do is worth it at this point".

"The third thing I wanted to say goes back to what we were talking about earlier, but also relates to what we've just been talking about. I'm sure you already understand this, but I'll repeat it anyway, if you're wanting your father to have a close relationship with John Ross, then you have to be open to facilitating that relationship, and that means putting your differences aside for a time to focus on your son and his grandson. Your mother worries that you're considering turning down dinner invitations, and I don't know if that's true or not, you can tell me now, but if it is, I do have to say, you're not helping things. John Ross is young, he doesn't have a voice yet, he's a dependant, he needs the adults in his life to assist him with almost everything and a lot of the time that means cooperating. From what I understand, your family home is intended to be for your nuclear family and to show up without invitation wouldn't be unwelcomed but it's also not encouraged; with that in mind, you have to give a little with how you choose to spend your free time, meaning you have to be considerate of the rest of the family. If we understand anything about your father it's that he's not an excellent emotional communicator, so I think for him inviting you to dinner probably is making an effort, it's what he knows and he's comfortable with, and aside from all of the other things going on, I don't think it's too much for you to make an equal effort. It doesn't have to be dinner, you can counter his invitation with one of your own, but you can't expect a positive relationship to grow out of nothing". Pausing for a few seconds to separate his statements from his question, he then spoke again, "does any of that make sense to you?"

Knowing he had been talking uninterrupted for longer than usual, Doctor Williams took great interest in both JR and Miss Ellie's body language as he waited for any kind of verbal response. With JR, he knew some of what to expect, silence and a pensive expression weren't unusual before either another outburst of frustration, or a gleeful grin at the mental realisation that things weren't as bad as he had pessimistically assumed. With Miss Ellie though, he hadn't known her for long enough to really have a good gauge on her expressions. She too looked pensive, but there was something else there too, he just didn't know what it was, it could be happiness, it could be worry, or perhaps she was impressed with him, he wasn't sure though, he would just have to wait and see.

To be continued…


	562. Laying Plans

**Dallas, Texas**

"Hm, I don't think it'll work, but I guess I can try". Knowing he had asked Doctor Williams for his thoughts and now he had to live with knowing them, JR decided to play nice and not argue too much with the idea that his father was simply misunderstood, not completely selfish and a terrible listener. It was becoming clearer to him every time he interacted with his father that that was the case, but before he could declare it as the truth, he first had to exhaust all other options of communicating. He didn't particularly want what he believed to be true to actually be true, he wanted a good relationship with his father and he wanted that to be because his father actually understood where he was coming from, but from every conversation they had had in the past, he knew that was optimistic. He was disenchanted, he had grown up thinking he wanted to be exactly like his father and if he worked hard enough he could have everything his father gave to Bobby, but slowly reality had chipped away at his visions of the future. He wanted the same power his father held, and he would have it, but he wanted to get as far away from his parenting style as he could, and that was proving to be more difficult than he imagined. There was no easy or quick fix, his father was stubborn, he didn't understand how he felt and he didn't want to understand, in his mind nothing was wrong with his actions, if other people had a problem it was their fault, not his. Doctor Williams was probably right though, it was worth trying to get through to him one final time, because the alternative options were messy and painful.

"Good", giving JR an encouraging smile, Doctor Williams then looked over at JR's quiet mother to see if she was ready to verbalise the thoughts that were clearly running through her mind. "Miss Ellie? Do you have any thoughts on all of this?" Waiting a few moments, he was pleased when Miss Ellie looked at him and then turned toward JR to answer; he liked it when his patients addressed each other directly. "I do, not many because we've discussed this before, so I think you know my feelings about your daddy, but I want to tell you that it makes me very happy to hear that you're going to try with him again. I want nothing more than for all of us to have a good relationship and I know that's extremely difficult to achieve at the moment with everything so up in the air, so I want to thank you for not giving up". Watching Miss Ellie then reaching out to touch JR's hand lightly, Doctor Williams nodded and smiled again. He hadn't really had any idea what he was going to be faced with when JR and his mother arrived at his office earlier, and he wasn't under any illusions that things were going to be easy just because their discussion had been calm, but he was pleasantly surprised that things had gone so smoothly so quickly. "Mm well, I am JR Ewing. I don't just give up, you know that", seeing JR's signature grin and hearing his confident words, he had confirmation that things had gone well, though he knew JR too and he knew that there was only so much vulnerability he was willing to show, so even if he looked and sounded confident, he might not actually be so confident. Even with that in mind though, their first meeting had gone better than he had expected and that was very much an accomplishment.

Across town, Bobby Ewing was in a totally different headspace to his mother and brother, he was supposed to be resting at home, but since he hadn't been all that sick or injured to begin with he was now mostly just sitting around thinking, remembering, and considering the future, though that was ok with him, because his thoughts were pleasant. Again, he felt like a teenager, he wasn't one, but he felt like it; he had a crush on a young woman based on not much more than a chaotic meeting, a couple of short phone calls, and his memories of her appearance. She was pretty, she seemed nice, caring, and from what he could tell, she seemed to be interested in him too, and that was all very exciting; it had been far too long since he had been romantically involved with a woman and now that he was close again, he was remembering how much he liked it. Of course, he would have to actually spend some real quality time with Pamela before he could honestly say he liked her as more than just a fleeting, uninformed crush, but he was more than happy to do that. JR had Sue Ellen, his parents had each other, and while most of his college friends weren't married, a number of them were in relationships and seemed happy, he wanted that for himself too, and he wanted it with Pamela, not any of the other women he'd been set up with or met on his own recently. He had already made the decision to leave his job at Ewing Oil too, so he had already come to terms with the upcoming lifestyle change. He didn't like to think of himself as judgemental, but he knew his thoughts about the upcoming change and how it would affect him were a bit judgemental; he honestly did believe he'd have an easier time adjusting to living life away from dishing out and partaking in the three B's than JR had had. He had enjoyed his time on the road and there were still a few more weeks for him to enjoy again, but once it was over he didn't think he would miss it too much, and he certainly didn't believe he would jeopardise any serious relationship he did have simply to get a little bit of quick, dirty satisfaction.

Heading outside, because it was no fun being cooped up inside the house, he walked from the main house down to the stables and was pleasantly surprised to find his sister-in-law and nephew walking around talking to the few horses that were still in the stables during the working day. Standing back in the doorway just watching them for a moment, he knew instantly when they both noticed him that what JR had eventually realised for himself was very much true to his own life too. He had known earlier that he wanted a family of his own, but seeing the real life version of his own generation of new, small family, he knew that making the decision he had made at Ewing Oil was correct, and he hoped that the decision he was making to pursue Pamela was also correct. "Bobby, what a lovely surprise", taking hold of John Ross as Sue Ellen greeted him, he could tell from her tone of voice that she wasn't just pleased to see him because of his knowledge about horses, or because he was good with John Ross, no, she was interested in what he had to say about Pamela. With the way he was feeling though, he was glad, because he liked having someone to listen to him, someone who actually vaguely understood the situation he was in. He had phoned Pamela twice the previous evening and both calls had been cut short on her end, however, knowing what had happened the first time, he'd had the forethought to ask the question he'd been wanting to ask her fairly close to the start of the second call, and luckily for him, she had sounded very interested. He was going to call her again later to confirm where and when he was picking her up for the date he'd alluded to, but the hardest part was now over, and he didn't mind sharing any of those details with his sister-in-law, after all, he wouldn't have even known how to contact Pamela if it weren't for Sue Ellen.

To be continued…


	563. The Beginning

**Dallas, Texas**

"You're not staying for dinner?" catching his youngest son as he walked down the hall purposefully, Jock Ewing shook his head at his response, "no, sorry daddy. I've got a date tonight", though his head shaking stopped as Bobby continued, "I'll be here tomorrow though, Sue Ellen tells me they're coming to visit?" He couldn't really tell Bobby he wanted him to stay home for family dinner instead of going out on a date, he had no problem with him dating, he was a free man, it was just that with the way things were in the family at present, he felt like things were falling apart around him and he hated it. He wasn't used to not being in control but now that's all he seemed to be at home; Ellie was constantly yammering on about his supposed failures, JR had moved out and much like Ellie had started playing the blame game, Lucy was a good girl but she wasn't his closest ally, and nobody seemed to be warming to Jack. Bobby and Jack were good men, they did what they were asked and told to, but just having their backing wasn't enough, he wanted to be back where he belonged, back at the top of the family, not somewhere on the side, where people only looked when they felt like it. Hearing that Sue Ellen had confirmed to Bobby that they would be coming to dinner the next night was a small comfort though, at least when everyone was together things seemed normal again.

"They are? Good. You don't mind if Jack comes do you?" looking at his watch as he spoke to his father, Bobby noted that he had to leave soon if he wanted to get to Pamela's home in time, so when his father continued the conversation, he felt rushed to answer. "No, go ahead, I barely know the guy, but I don't have any objections. I'm really sorry daddy, I've got to go now, I don't want to be late", patting his father on the shoulder, he then continued walking down the hallway toward the stairs. Seeing the time as he looked at his watch again as he got in his car, he was glad that he drove a sports car and lived in an area where you'd be unlucky to meet a traffic cop, but if you did, you were in luck with the name Ewing. Reversing and turning, he then drove down the long driveway, past the Southfork paddocks, past JR and Sue Ellen's home, and toward Braddock.

A few miles away, in a middleclass suburban neighbourhood far from the freedom of Southfork, Pamela Barnes brushed her hair and checked her dress for wrinkles or dust for about the millionth time that evening. She was nervous, but more than that she was excited; she knew she liked Bobby, she hadn't just said yes to him because she was young and there was nothing to lose, which in the past, ashamedly, she had done. This time everything was different, she had somewhat pursued Bobby and in a positive twist he had responded by asking her out, she was already involved in something with him, even if she didn't really know what it was, if anything.

She knew she was pretty, many men had told her so and too many girls had been needlessly catty to her, plus, she owned a mirror and she'd spoken to her retail store managers in the past, she knew what it was that people liked about her when they first saw her. Despite knowing she was conventionally physically attractive and that was why she was able to get ahead sometimes, it was still flattering when someone she actually wanted to be friends with or in this case, wanted to date, found her appealing; there was validation in acceptance and as shallow as it sounded, she liked it. All her life she had struggled in other areas, so it was comforting to have at least one thing that she was able to fall back on, even if it was shallow and predictable.

Cliff hadn't always been a lawyer, her father had always been more unreliable than reliable, and without a mother in her life and a woman in her brother and father's lives, she had had to take control of a lot of things early in her life, and that hadn't been particularly fun. In comparison to dull, difficult domestic chores and emotionally draining familial tasks, it was nice to just switch off and allow herself to be treated as the pretty girl every so often. If men wanted to date her, then she was open to that, and before she had started working in an office, if her manager at the clothing store had wanted to use her as a pretty mannequin, then she was ok with that too. She wasn't all false though, she liked people and she enjoyed spending time with them, plus, she wasn't a model or anything quite that glamorous, she was just an attractive girl who didn't mind using her appearance to her advantage, because in her life, there were times where that was the only way she could get nice things.

A few yards down the hall from Pamela's bedroom, Cliff Barnes sat leafing through various Chinese takeout menus, only stopping when he heard a knock at the door. Standing, he walked over to the door, muttering a few words about feeling like a butler with the amount of door answering he did for his sister's social life, and opening the door, he couldn't stop himself from saying exactly what came to mind, "who are you?" Looking the young man up and down, he had a feeling that he had seen him before, though he didn't know where, in any case though, he wasn't sure who he was or why he was there, he wasn't Pam's date Frank, and he wasn't the kind of person Digger associated with, so he was fresh out of ideas. "My name's Bobby, I have a date with Pamela. Do I have the wrong address?" Tilting his head, he took in the man's appearance again before nodding and showing him into the house; he could've sworn his sister was still dating Frank, but the appearance of Bobby said otherwise, and that told him that what Pam was always saying about him being spacey when it came to her life was likely true. He would have to work on paying more attention to his sister's life, otherwise he didn't know what loser she would attach herself to, and that only meant trouble. He and his father had already had to save her from a terribly planned marriage once, now she was out of high school, of legal age for just about everything, and no matter how much she liked to think she was mature, she was still just a young girl, she needed protecting.

"What happened to Frank?" turning toward the door as her brother walked into her bedroom, Pam didn't even bother reminding him to knock, she was too busy rolling her eyes and shaking her head at the confirmation that he hadn't heard anything she had told him the previous evening. Bobby had called twice and both times Cliff had interrupted the call, both times too she had mentioned that where he assumed she was speaking to Frank, she wasn't, because she and Frank weren't seeing each other anymore; clearly though, everything she had said had gone in one ear and out the other. "I told you yesterday, I broke it off. Is Bobby here? He's my date for this evening. You haven't met before, but I like him, more than I liked Frank, so please, be nice…" responding, she gave her brother a look to indicate that she was serious and she didn't want him to say something silly that would give Bobby the wrong impression. "Yeah, he's here. Where did you find him? You say we've never met but I'm not so sure, there's something familiar…" Hearing Cliff trail off into silence, likely continuing the conversation in his mind, she grabbed her purse, checked her hair one final time, and walked toward the door, "we met through a friend", answering her brother as she slipped past him.

"Bobby", looking up as he heard his name, Bobby's mouth grew dry, Pamela had looked pretty skating earlier in the week, but she looked gorgeous dressed up to go out. He was a lucky man and he was not going to let anything ruin his luck, "Pamela", grinning, he stood and walked toward her to greet her.

To be continued…


	564. Too Much Talk

**Dallas, Texas**

"…so I was stuck between being very close to saying why should I continue to bother with daddy, and wanting to appear to be working with the doc and his brilliant ideas…" Splitting her attention between eating her dinner, supervising John Ross eating his dinner and listening to JR recapping his day, or more importantly, his meeting with Doctor Williams and Miss Ellie, Sue Ellen's mind skipped forward a little. JR was in a mood again and she felt like she had to help him de-stress and cheer up, luckily, the short-term solution for that was easy; unluckily, the long-term solution was a bit more difficult, however, since he was seeing Doctor Williams more often now, she hoped he wouldn't continually have a negative attitude toward emotional problem solving. It was good for him to talk to a professional and begin to openly communicate with his mother, and she understood where Doctor Williams was coming from in relation to Jock, but she also understood how hard it was for JR and why the right thing to do wasn't the easy thing to do.

"I understand JR, really, I do. You're a smart man though, you can play the game for a little while longer, with your daddy and with Doctor Williams. I'm sure you understand that you have to at least look like you're trying, otherwise you're going to get more of the same from your daddy and now that you've included Doctor Williams there's going to be an opinion there to deal with too. You can do it though, you'll go to work tomorrow and act as you always do, professionally, then we'll be at Southfork for dinner and you can either split off to talk to Jock alone, trying a different approach to the issue this time, or you can act like nothing's wrong and let him think he's silenced you. Later, if he continues acting selfishly and negatively, despite your efforts, I'll support you one hundred percent in your pursuit to cut ties with him personally, it's not fair to have to keep at it when he's not even trying to be nice. Before that though, please do try talking to him again, I want John Ross to have at least one set of grandparents he has good memories with and now that my mother isn't filling that role anymore we're running out of options". Explaining her feelings briefly, Sue Ellen stopped talking as she considered what she had just told her husband. If Jock continued to be negative toward JR then she would have no problem drawing the line like they had done with her mother, however, it was more difficult with John Ross around and with Jock so close to their home; things were delicate and had to be treated as such. Although Jock had been a crappy grandfather in the past, recently things had changed a bit and she didn't want to extinguish what progress had been made before giving the relationship a chance to grow; with that in mind though, she really did hate Jock sometimes, he didn't make anything easy and that was just so unfortunate. Jock Ewing had it in him to be a nice person, she had seen it with Bobby, Lucy, John Ross, and rarely but occasionally with Miss Ellie, but he seemed to resist being free and open with affection and respect, much like JR. Things were complicated, she really wished they weren't though.

"Darlin', I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'll try, but I hate this. You're right, I'm a smart man, I'm also wealthy and powerful, I shouldn't have to be dealing with this crap all the time. Daddy controls me without even trying and I loathe that, I also loathe being told to try, because I do and I do and I do and it gets me nowhere. But sure, once again I'll try…" Glaring over at his wife as he responded snippily to her annoyingly positive response to his venting, JR only calmed when John Ross made his presence clear again, pushing his plate of food back toward Sue Ellen and shaking his head before looking directly at him and babbling a string of "dadadada" sounds. Sometimes he forgot that just because their son didn't speak, didn't mean he couldn't hear and he didn't gauge the atmosphere in a room, because he could and did and it wasn't good for him to be exposed to arguing at such a young age. His parents hadn't fought much when he was young, but Sue Ellen had told him her parents had and it had worried her, and since they both wanted better for their son than what they had had themselves, he needed to take a look at his actions and change them. That was just another thing to add to the long list of things on his mind though and that frustrated him. He had tried so incredibly hard over the past year to really change and be a better man in his personal life, while still maintaining the control he had in his professional life, but it was difficult and it wasn't helped by the constant setbacks he experienced. He was a better husband, but he was struggling to achieve the better son status, and with his own son he wasn't perfect either, and for someone not used to being wrong, that was not fun.

"I'm sorry son, why don't you come and sit on daddy's lap", standing to remove John Ross from his highchair, he then sat down again a few moments later, touching Sue Ellen lightly on the shoulder as he passed her. Positioning John Ross so he was sitting in-between his legs, facing Sue Ellen, he then looked directly at his wife again before speaking, "do you mind if we continue this conversation later?" Nodding down at John Ross and seeing Sue Ellen smile and nod in response, he immediately relaxed and it was soon obvious to him how tense the whole situation was making him, and that was not a good thing. He wasn't used to feeling so bad inside and he had no desire to continue feeling the way he did. "Dadadada", redirecting his attention back down to his son, he tried to stay positive though, he and Sue Ellen had made something wonderful together and just because he had a crappy relationship with his own parents didn't mean John Ross should too. "What's that son? You want mama and daddy to play with you after dinner and then read you a story before bed? I think we can arrange that. Don't you Sue Ellen?" Looking up at his wife again, he knew things had shifted; they would talk later, or if he had his way, not talk, but for now they would focus on their son and the family they'd created together, that mattered a whole lot more than rehashing the same conversation repeatedly, and it was a heck of a lot more enjoyable. Something had to change permanently though, he could not keep doing things the way he was doing them, it was running him from the inside and as JR Ewing, he couldn't have that.

To be continued…

**Author's Note: Sorry about the sporadic updates lately. Thank you for reading and reviewing :)**


	565. Evening Routine

**Dallas, Texas**

"…and after a long day of fun on the farm, the piglet, the foal, and the calf's eyes drooped and when the mama pig, the mama horse, and the mama cow looked over at them, they were asleep…" Finishing reading the short picture book aloud in a low, whispery voice, JR held John Ross still for a few moments before standing and carefully placing him down into his crib. He was fairly sure that his son didn't _need_ a story to fall asleep and wasn't extremely sensitive to movement, because by the time they got to the end of the day he was exhausted and needed his rest, but since he missed out on so many moments with him during the day, he enjoyed doting on him. He loved working at Ewing Oil and he couldn't wait to start to share that with John Ross, hopefully even permanently, but there was something completely different and enjoyable about the other part of his life, his personal life. Baby toys were much too simplistic for his mind and if he could get away with reading his son the newspaper instead of his boring books he would, but even with the dull content of the things John Ross was interested in, he still enjoyed their time together; he enjoyed seeing John Ross happy, playful, and engaged.

He was influenced too by his own childhood; he had done a lot with his father and loved it, but those things had all been his father's idea, not his own as far as he remembered. He went to the office and he learned all about the outdoors because his father wanted him to, he had never really had a choice and despite not hating everything he had done, he still didn't want to repeat everything with John Ross. He didn't want his son to feel like he wasn't allowed to pursue his own interests, so in the spirit of trying to be different to his father, he was open with John Ross, even now when he was still very young and only really interested in what he was because it was what he was exposed to most often. Seeing John Ross' face light up at the sight of the familiar baby oriented activities was worth the boredom that came with the actual content of the activities, and he hoped that later he would get to see his son react in the same manner to the things he was personally more interested in. It occurred to him that he was on a path toward turning John Ross into Gary and he hated that thought, but having a happy, relaxed son did seem more important at present than having one who lived and breathed everything Jock was interested in and nothing more.

Jumping slightly as Sue Ellen made her way over to the door, making only a small sound but letting a bit of light into the room, JR was brought back into the present, and after taking one final moment to stare down at his sleeping son, he turned and headed toward the door himself. John Ross wasn't him, nor was he Gary, he didn't have any of the same burdens either of them had had growing up as Jock Ewing's sons and it wasn't fair to mentally pin so many ideas on him, especially this early in life. He did think there was a case for being aware of what his father had done and what he didn't want to repeat though; that was really what was, he wanted to be a better father than his father had been and it was easy to get carried away with analysing the situation, but the actual solution was fairly simple.

Closing the nursery door behind him, he did as he usually did, he took a second to watch Sue Ellen as she walked and then waited for him; they had an everyday home routine, he, JR Ewing, had a routine with his wife, and he loved it. There was enough drama in other areas of his life for him to not need to create something to twist and shape into drama with Sue Ellen; they had finally created something that was solid and reliable, but also exciting. Sue Ellen was strong, but she loved him and was so open about wanting to please him that he never seemed to get bored with being with her; it was new and strangely predictable even though it was unpredictable, but that was part of why it was so comforting. He could have whatever he wanted from a woman romantically, emotionally and sexually, so long as that woman was Sue Ellen, and he was more than ok with that; what he had with her was worth more than what he had without her, especially since without her he barely had anything anymore. He wasn't fixed, he needed Doctor Williams more than he cared to admit, but he could see in his everyday life now that he was benefitting immensely from the doctor's interference in his business. "Drink?" breaking the silence in the hallway, he asked an easy question that didn't really require an answer as it was more part of their routine than anything else, and as expected, Sue Ellen nodded, kissed him on the cheek and then allowed him to lead them down the hallway.

Retiring to the living room and taking a seat on the couch, JR was thrilled when instead of trying to push him into continuing the discussion they had been having over dinner, his wife simply made them a drink and then took her position next to him, silently. She was wonderful, probably more wonderful than he was when it came to intuitively knowing what someone wanted and needed, like now, he had asked to put their discussion off until after dinner, but now that it was that time, she wasn't going to force him to talk if he clearly wasn't interested. He liked that, he liked when she didn't do what she thought she had to do in order to be a 'good wife' but instead just did what she genuinely thought was best for the situation. She knew him, she knew he was a thinker and he debated everything in his mind, and she knew that eventually he did share things with her, but he hated being forced into it; he hated talking when he wasn't in the mood to talk. He'd had a hard morning with his mother, then returning to the office he'd been busy but satisfied, then he'd come home to well-meaning questions and a complete shift in his attention, and now he was both frustrated and satisfied. He didn't want to talk about his feelings though, that's just not who he was, not naturally; he liked that Sue Ellen got that, she was quiet, observing and waiting.

She was intuitive too, waiting a few moments to confirm his mood before gently touching him, starting with his hand and moving closer to him until they were sitting in a position more for intimacy than comfort, silently waiting for him to turn their contact into more. She knew him, she knew he liked physical touch and she was good at gauging what he wanted; right now he was being sentimental, so gentle it was, but later, who knew how he would feel, she would likely understand his needs and act accordingly though, she was good like that. He appreciated her, he really did, it was rare to have someone so unconditionally supportive and loving in his life and he hoped she understood that he valued her presence, he just didn't always say so. Removing her glass from her hand and setting it down next to his, he made the final move toward showing her how he felt, wordlessly pulling her completely onto his lap and closing the gap between them. Talking was only worth so much, especially when they weren't saying anything new; being intimate with one another was worth more in his mind, he was able to convey so much without actually saying anything, it was more fun too. He had always been a man of business talk and physical pleasure, though he could do both the other way around too, he just preferred not to if given the choice, and with Sue Ellen, she made that choice easy.

To be continued…


	566. Icebreaker

**Dallas, Texas**

Across town, Bobby was acting in a much more controlled manner, though he wasn't enjoying himself any less than his brother and sister-in-law. The drive to Scalini from Pamela's home was exactly the right length of time for them to get some of the awkward conversation about his concussion and the circumstances under which they had met out of the way and get comfortable with each other before diving into actually talking about themselves.

"…I played football in high school and college, but I also played a lot of other sports for fun. Now I mostly just swim, run, and ride Ace, you know, things I can do as an individual; with the nature of my job it's so hard to find time to be on a team, I can't always guarantee I'll be around for practice or games, and there aren't many coaches interested in a player like that. With everything happening now though, who knows what'll happen in the future…" Vaguely referencing his plans for college and his new job, even though he hadn't actually explained that part of his life yet, he quickly moved back to the topic at hand, hobbies, because it seemed a bit too soon to start explaining his entire life story to her. "I don't just play sport though, I have friends, and my family are important to me; I try to make sure I make time for everything and I think I do a pretty good job". Flashing a smile as he spoke, he hoped he sounded as he had always been told he was, well rounded; he didn't want to sound like JR, obsessed with working, but he also didn't want to sound flighty and not serious. "Enough about me though, what about you? What do you do for fun?"

Taking in Bobby's appearance and demeanour and listening carefully to him as he spoke, whatever nervousness Pam had had earlier in the evening subsided and the excitement she had felt seemed fitting. They had only really been properly alone together for fifteen minutes, but already she felt comfortable with him. He had reassured her that she hadn't been responsible for his accident and then joked that everyone seemed to make a bigger thing of it than it actually was, including his mother who had insisted he take time off work to recover. She couldn't quite work out what exactly his job was, he hadn't really described it in much detail other than that he travelled to promote the company and that he wouldn't be there for much longer. What she understood more easily was what he did with his free time, he wasn't complicated in that sense, he appeared to be similar to a lot of men his age. He was athletic, but not to the point of obsession or delusion that he could make a career out of his ability to toss a ball; he also remembered to mention his friends and family, and from what she'd seen the first time they met and what she'd deduced from his short explanation about work, he meant what he said. During her conversations with Sue Ellen it hadn't seemed at all strange that she, Bobby, and their niece Lucy had been spending time together, likely because it wasn't, because what Bobby said about his family being important to him was true. She understood that, Cliff and her daddy were immensely important to her, in fact, most things she did were for the good of her family, they were the one constant in her life and she felt responsible for contributing toward maintaining and boosting their living standards.

"What do I do for fun?" considering the question he had asked her, she felt stuck for a moment; like Bobby, she had interests, she wasn't boring and she wasn't solely focused on one thing, what she wasn't sure of was how many of their interests actually overlapped though. "I like a lot of different things. I love dancing and from working in a store with a lot of other girls my age, plus cheerleading in high school, I have a good group of friends I do that with. I have a slightly different group of friends I do other things with too; one of my friends lives in an apartment complex with a pool, so during the summer we swim a lot, in the winter we spend a lot of time doing other things, like skating…" Pausing as she made eye contact with him at the mention of skating, she laughed at his expression; he had actually winced, meaning he still clearly remembered his last skating experience and it was likely a bigger pain to him than he had tried to brush it off as.

"…I know what you mean about work interfering in team activities though, I haven't cheered in a team since high school, but I never really felt like I was missing out on being a part of something bigger until I started working in an office. Forgive me for saying this, but it's suffocating; I do it for my family though, because like it is for you, my family is very important to me too…" Leaving her sentence hanging as her mind drifted but she didn't verbalise her thoughts, her mind wandered over her answer again, she had been truthful, but she also knew that she had conveniently left out that a large chunk of her free time was spent dating various men. It would be a lie to say dating wasn't something she did as a leisure activity, because it was, she had learned at a young age that even with Cliff's drive and success in the legal field, some things were just unattainable without an extra helping hand. That's where the men she dated came in, she wasn't a snob by any means, and she had dated her fair share of men who were completely on her socioeconomic level, but she couldn't deny that she also dated wealthier men, often hoping to find love but enjoying the finer things in life along the way even if she didn't. She didn't want to mention all of that to Bobby though, it would be completely tasteless to reference money, or other men for that matter, so she simply omitted that topic from her brief social summary, and luckily, he didn't seem to notice.

"Well, I'm not sure I'm ready to go skating again, but dancing, that's something I think I can arrange", glancing over at Pamela as he responded to her, Bobby took note of the way she looked when she laughed. She was beautiful and he felt lucky to be with her, not just because she could likely have any man she wanted but she was with him, but because it had been so long since he'd actually had a connection with any woman he'd taken out on a date and he'd almost forgotten how good it felt. "Well, we can start with dancing and then move on to skating; perhaps if you're skating next to me rather than behind me you'll have better luck…" glancing at her again as she responded jokingly to his comment, he laughed in response and then grinned. He definitely felt comfortable with her and that was a really nice feeling to have after so long, because although he hadn't been sexually deprived, emotionally he was starved, so to finally have something that appeared to be suitable for satiating his appetite was just wonderful. "Perhaps I will, we'll have to go sometime to test that idea…", feeling good conversing with her casually, he was surprised when he found himself pulling into the Scalini driveway, clearly he'd been thinking about everything but driving. "Before we do anything though, dinner", slowing and pulling into the valet parking area, he was reassured by the look on Pamela's face that he wasn't alone in thinking that everything was going well, and handing the keys to the valet and opening her door, he had no reason to believe that things wouldn't continue that way.

Unfortunately, what neither of them had any way of knowing was how quickly and drastically everything could change.

To be continued…


	567. Assumption

**Dallas, Texas**

"…right this way Mr Ewing…" paying more attention to the feel of Bobby's hand on her back than what the hostess had to say, Pam missed the first sign that something wasn't quite right. By the time they were seated, had ordered their drinks, and had resumed their earlier conversation though, she had a small niggling feeling in the back of her mind that there was more to the situation she was in than she had originally realised. Bobby was attractive, funny, polite, and seemed genuinely interested in their conversation, but he also had a confidence about him that she couldn't quite define the source of, and subconsciously that bothered her. She didn't really know what her unconscious mind was thinking, it was unconscious, but deep inside her she knew he was hiding something, or at the very least, omitting something; she didn't have the capacity or time to analyse her cautious thoughts and feelings though, so instead she just attempted to ignore them and focus on the positive. She liked Bobby and she was enjoying getting to know him, and whatever vibe she was getting from him it wasn't one that scared her, it was just present, like she was missing something and needed another hint to jog her memory; she was enjoying talking with him though and would gladly continue.

Unfortunately, as he transitioned their conversation in a perfectly natural way, her self-awareness suddenly grew, "…what about you? You said you cheered in high school? What about college?" Sipping her wine as she listened to his question, she wondered if perhaps it wasn't Bobby that was making her a little cautious, it was her own insecurity. Savouring her wine for a moment, she decided she really didn't have much to lose by being honest though; she wouldn't want to date a man who thought less of her because she wasn't a Longhorn, or an alumna of any sort, so if he was going to judge her for that then it was best to know now. "Actually, I didn't go to college, it wasn't something I ever really had a chance to attain, and even if I did, it was a luxury we couldn't afford…" Pausing after briefly responding, she was relieved to see that he hadn't pulled back from her after hearing her confession; a lot of girls her age weren't college educated, but she imagined the majority of girls in Bobby's Mercedes-Benz-driving, diamond-ring-wearing, nepotism-filled world were, so his assumption was understandable.

"Oh…" hearing the hesitation in his voice as he responded to her statement, she took his response to mean he was more conflicted about what to say rather than that he was judging her for what she hadn't achieved, and with that assumption in mind, she felt the need to explain herself, even if it wasn't truly necessary. She didn't really want to get into her daddy's struggles with alcoholism and her family's constant struggle to get ahead when she and Bobby were still on their first date, but she needed something to explain her position, so Cliff was her scapegoat. "My brother, Cliff, he's a lawyer; for the past few years the majority of our family's income and moral support has gone toward making sure he was able to complete his degrees. After all of that there wasn't much left for me, even now, he's a practicing lawyer and we're so proud, but we still have leftover loans and everyday living expenses to pay, and with the way things are in my family it's not something I can just do". Noting his facial expression as she went into a little more detail, she blushed as she realised he was possibly a little embarrassed that he had unintentionally put his foot in his mouth and said something that had spurred her to start rambling about things more serious than varsity sport. They were so early in their relationship that it was likely he really had just been generally enquiring about her interest in cheer, not looking for her semi-honest explanation for a much more complex issue, namely her role in keeping her family afloat.

"I'm sorry Pamela, I didn't mean to pry…" looking at his date and then looking away as he realised he didn't really know what more he was supposed to say if he wasn't prying, Bobby considered everything she had just told him. Being the optimist he was, he then found himself blurting a few words out in further response, despite just seconds previously declaring he wasn't trying to involve himself in something so personal so soon. "You know, your brother's education doesn't have to hold you back. They have scholarships, you have a job, and he's a lawyer, plus, don't you think it's time he supported you the way you did him?" Looking at her again as he spoke, he knew instantly that he had offended her, despite it not being his intention, and as he had done before, he looked away in embarrassment, or avoidance.

"I'm sorry Bobby, do you hear yourself? You make college sound so easy and natural and in my experience it's not that way at all. Even grad school, you mention it in passing but you don't mention how draining it is to apply, to figure out how you're going to pay for everything, and then to actually do the work required of you. You don't know me, you don't know whether I'm smart or a complete idiot, you don't know whether I'm talented enough to be granted any scholarship, academic or otherwise, and most importantly, you don't know what I want. You've known me for all of an hour and you're already assuming that I feel like I missed out on something and should find a way to make it happen, even though I never told you whether I felt that way or not". More upset now than she had been earlier when she had been the one doing all the talking, Pam briefly wondered what she had entered into when she had contacted Sue Ellen. She wasn't after Bobby's money and he didn't seem to dislike her because she had admitted to not being as privileged as him, but for some reason they were clashing over something that only people with money considered to be easy, and she didn't really know why. He had asked about college cheer and she had gone off on a tangent, then he had apologised for prying, made what was likely an honest, naïve comment, and the she had gone off at him; it made sense, but it didn't. She liked to believe she wasn't embarrassed about not having a formal education, but if their conversation was anything to go by, she was at least sensitive about it, that was new information to her. She didn't understand it, she didn't have a type in the sense that she only dated rich men or men on the same level of wealth as her, she had experience with both, but never before had it niggled at her like it was now, and never before had she reacted in a way like she just had. It was puzzling and embarrassing, she liked Bobby and she didn't want to ruin what good they had managed to build simply because she overreacted to an honest question.

Bobby felt similar to Pamela, he didn't understand what was going on, but he felt bad about it. He hadn't been nervous earlier in the evening, in fact he'd felt pretty confident that things were going well, but then somehow things had spiralled downward and now they were here, him feeling embarrassed for saying something that had offended her, and her offended or upset about his words, or more importantly, the opinions behind his words. Never one to purposely hurt someone's feelings though, he felt the need to apologise and smooth things over, even if he wasn't quite sure whether it was his responsibility seeing as it appeared she had just overreacted to a question he had asked. "I'm sorry Pamela, you're right, we don't really know each other and it's crazy for us to make judgements assuming that we do. I don't know what more to say, I don't need you to have a college education, I was really just reacting to what I assumed you were trying to say. That's the word we're having trouble with here though, assumed; I probably assumed too much, but I think you might have too; getting into grad school isn't an easy process and if I made it sound like it was then I take it back. I think we're way beyond the original point though; I was just trying to make conversation about college cheer. Sue Ellen cheered for UT; I thought that perhaps you might have too. I assumed, but I shouldn't have. I'd really like to forget that I asked though. Do you think perhaps we could do that? Maybe you could ask me a question and this time I'll answer as honestly and unassumingly as possible". Smiling at her boyishly, the way he did with his mother when he wanted her to remember he was her youngest son, the one who could get away with more than his brothers could, he looked her in the eye and hoped for the best. All he could do was apologise for his faux pas and attempt to move on, the rest was up to Pamela.

"I'd like that. I'm sorry too, I guess I overanalysed your question and then got defensive. I haven't had an easy life and sometimes defensive is my natural setting. I am sorry though, I was short with you and I shouldn't have been". Pausing for a second to separate the two parts of her response, Pam then continued talking, taking his invitation to heart and using the opportunity to ask him something she had been wondering about for a while, "I think we've talked about my life enough for now. Tell me about you; I know you played football in high school and college, and I know you don't play for a team anymore because you travel for work, but what is it that you're actually doing when you're travelling? Tell me about your job, it sounds so much more interesting than my infinite loop of typing and filing". Leaning forward again from where she had previously leaned back due to her annoyance with him, she then waited for his response; she genuinely did want to know the answer, she liked him and she wanted to get to know him, despite the small blip in their interaction earlier.

To be continued…


	568. Simple Question, Complicated Answer

**Dallas, Texas**

Having tried to avoid selling himself solely on the Ewing name, because he wanted Pamela to like him for him, not just what he could offer her, Bobby found himself cornered when she asked him directly about his job. He had to tell her about Ewing Oil and his role in the company now, it would be a lie to tell her anything else, especially since the truth was that he'd never worked anywhere else, at least not as a paid employee. The problem was, he always felt a bit self-conscious telling potential girlfriends that his job involved a lot of tasks where his being a young, single man really came in handy. Meeting a woman and having that meeting develop into casual sex was a very different ball game to meeting a woman and trying to woo her and build a relationship with her, and after the past few years, he felt quite experienced in one area, and a bit inexperienced in the other. He was no stranger to enjoying himself and he was no stranger to being a gentleman, but in most instances the two didn't really mix. He was never rude to the women he bedded, but he also didn't try to pretend whatever they had was anything close to a personal relationship, so there was little real talk with them; with dates things were different, he wanted to talk, but to talk so frankly about the nature of his job wasn't something that he really enjoyed. His new job was one he felt less self-conscious telling potential girlfriends about, it was good, honest, hard work, and it didn't involve pimping, bribery, or blackmail. Of course, he didn't hate his current job and he would miss getting paid to travel around handing out favours and making connections; additionally, he had a feeling that one day he might regret his rush to get away from the world of easy women, he knew though that he wouldn't miss the way one particular question made him feel.

"Hm, an infinite loop of filing and typing does sound kind of dry, though I think I can match that level of dull. I don't think I've ever been quite as bored or frustrated with a work task as the time I was asked to read a series of geological reports for what turned out to be dry land, I spent hours staring and maps and reports waiting for something to jump out at me. Luckily, that's not my job; my job is people, I'm good with people and I enjoy people; I'm a goodwill ambassador, I travel to promote the company, to make sure people know our name and have a favourable opinion of us. That won't be my job for much longer though, in a few weeks I'm shifting gears and moving into a new role that focuses on the other thing I'm good at and enjoy, ranching. That's why I'm applying to grad schools, my daddy wants me to have some kind of formal business training as well as the agricultural knowledge I'm learning by getting out there and working the ranch. I love both of my jobs, but I think ranching is where my heart is, it's what I can see myself doing when I think of the future and my older self, plus, it really helps family relations. My brother JR, Sue Ellen's husband, he did just about everything he could to get me out of the oil business, his business, and at first it bothered me, but now that I've secured a future in ranching, I couldn't care less about whether he wants me at the office or not". Taking a drink, he paused for a few moments to gather his thoughts again and study her reaction to the information he had given her; he trusted her, even though he had only just met her, but still, he wasn't like JR, he didn't feel the need to splash the Ewing name everywhere in order to get noticed. Observing the way she interestedly nodded and then thoughtfully crinkled her forehead, he suddenly wasn't quite so sure about how much he trusted her though; he couldn't describe why he felt that way, he just felt it, there was something going on in her mind in reaction to something he had said.

Before Bobby had a chance to say anything further, either asking Pam what she was thinking, or continuing with his previous explanation, Pam took advantage of the momentary silence at their table. "That makes a lot of sense…" pausing herself, she smiled at him as he did as she had done before, crinkled his forehead in a thoughtful, likely confused manner. "Ranching and people, it fits", shrugging as if that explained everything, she then switched topics slightly, bringing the conversation back to the part that had most intrigued her, the ease and access Bobby had to whatever he felt like pursuing. "You're lucky, it sounds like you have everything at your fingertips; you tried office work, but it bored you, so instead you moved into a new role in promotions, and now you're moving into ranching and it sounds like you'll be running the place soon enough. I don't want to assume anything, you know how that can cause problems, but am I right to conclude that apart from your brother, you have a very supportive family?" He also seemed to have the resources to do whatever he wanted, but she didn't say that as she thought it might be a bit gauche.

Relaxing as Pamela spoke, not saying anything that really validated his earlier unease about trusting her, Bobby considered Pamela's point for a moment before nodding and then speaking again, "mm, assuming can be a dangerous thing, but in this situation, you're right, well, sort of. My daddy likes to be in control, the problem is, so does JR, and when it's between those two, you're better off doing what I did and getting out. JR is thrilled that I'm leaving the oil business, it can't happen fast enough for him; my daddy on the other hand, he had a plan and I skipped ahead and that displeased him, ultimately though my plans do please both of them; the rest of my family is just along for the ride, they'd probably support whatever I chose. The ranch has been in my mama's family for generations, so she's thrilled I've decided to make it my fulltime job, but she never pressured me into it, not like daddy did with his sons and oil. Growing up it was Ewing Oil this, Ewing Oil that, I didn't know any better, until one day I did and now here we are. I am lucky, you're right about that. I'd like to think that being lucky doesn't make me a bad person though; I still have to work hard and live up to the expectations that come with such support…" Pausing as he noticed her facial expression change, he tilted his head in confusion, she had clearly reacted to something he had said, but again, he didn't really understand exactly what that something was, especially since everything he had been saying had been somewhat related to her question and their conversation. Sitting in silence with her for a few moments, still totally confused, he then spoke again, attempting to break through whatever it was that was coming between them again "Pamela? Is everything ok?"

Across the table, Pamela Barnes sat stunned. She had found the source of the niggling feeling in the back of her mind, but instead of making things clearer, everything was now just a little bit more complicated.

To be continued…


	569. First Date, Last Date?

**Dallas, Texas**

Sitting silently for a moment as everything fell into place in her mind, Pam blinked once before addressing Bobby directly, "well, yes and no…" pausing again for a second, she wondered how things had managed to get this far without either of them making the connection. They had spoken on the phone, seen each other in person, and communicated through Sue Ellen multiple times, yet not once had it occurred to her to ask him or Sue Ellen for their surname, and apparently, it hadn't occurred to Bobby to ask her for any further details either. She didn't believe he'd had dishonest intentions in not clearly telling her from the beginning that he was a Ewing, because he had just told her in a casual manner, and now that she thought about it, there had been small hints here and there in their previous conversations, plus, it wasn't such an issue in any other context. She did find the news a bit hard to swallow though; initially she had thought it was serendipitous that Bobby had bumped into her at the skating rink and she had actually had a connection to him in the form of Sue Ellen, but now, now she didn't know what to think. Sue Ellen was a Ewing, by marriage, but still, a Ewing; Bobby was a Ewing by blood, he was a direct descendent of Jock Ewing, the man who had cheated her father out of a fortune, stolen his girl away from him, and not had a second thought about any of it. Bobby was also the brother of JR Ewing, she didn't know all that much about him, but she knew Cliff didn't have much respect for his unethical business tactics, and from what Bobby had just described, Cliff's opinion was fair. She liked Sue Ellen and she liked Bobby, but she was confused, she didn't know how to reconcile her positive opinion of them with her pre-existing negative opinion of the Ewing family and the dirty, evil Ewing Oil company.

"Ewing Oil… you're Jock Ewing's son?" continuing to address him directly, she watched him closely in hope that his reaction would push her one way or the other. She was conflicted, she didn't know how to feel and that frustrated her, she needed to know one way or the other whether she was supposed to dislike Bobby because of who he was, or whether it was ok to feel how she had before. She was attracted to him, but was it ok to be attracted to someone who was the beneficiary of something that had caused her own family so much hardship? "I am. It's not a secret, but it's not something I use as a means of introduction either, that's more JR's kind of thing", watching Bobby as he responded honestly, with a boyish smile and a shrug, she closed her eyes to think for a moment. He didn't understand, he couldn't; he didn't introduce himself as 'Bobby _Ewing_' with an emphasis on his surname, but he wasn't hiding his social or financial position either, he had a beautiful European sports car, he had his pick of jobs, he had benefitted from a fully funded college education, and he had little perspective on how he appeared. He was wealthy, that much had been obvious for a long time, and hypocritically, it hadn't been an issue for her, in fact she'd quite enjoyed it, right up until the point when she had come to realise his wealth was the direct result of his father exploiting her daddy before disposing of him once he was no longer useful.

"I suppose I should introduce myself then, my name is Pamela Barnes…" Pausing for a brief second to gauge whether she had to further define who she was or whether he recognised her surname the way she had recognised his, she internally sighed as he stared at her blankly for a moment before making a face that indicated he was scanning through his memory trying to make a connection. "…my daddy is Digger Barnes, the rightful owner of one third of the company you work for…" Pausing, she studied his reaction again, this time glaring at him rather than sighing when his facial expression changed, moving from curious to suspicious to amused. "Hm", hearing his curt sound that indicated he had heard exactly what she had said, but he wasn't going to let her in on his thoughts just yet, her glare intensified and she suddenly felt the urge to lash out at him. "Hm? That's it? That's all you have to say? You had plenty to say about all of the things your father's unethical business dealings have allowed you to achieve in life, but the minute you're confronted with the other side of the coin, you're suddenly silent".

Shaking her head in disgust and frustration, her thoughts from earlier returned when he cleared his throat and responded to her accusations and questions, not raising his voice or returning her immense anger, but simply speaking in a calm, but serious tone. "Now wait just a minute, I don't know what story your daddy has been telling, but the way I've always understood the beginning of Ewing Oil was that my daddy, my uncle Jason, and your daddy worked together for a while, then they split and went their own separate ways. My daddy owns Ewing Oil, all of it, even my cousin Jack, Jason's son, understands that, and his daddy hasn't been around Dallas for probably as long as your daddy has been out of the oil business. My daddy has built the company up from nothing and yes, our family is better off because of it, but our wealth has not been made off the back of unethical business dealings and I abhor that accusation". Watching him just sit and breathe for a few moments, Pam struggled with the feelings inside her. He was the enemy, everything about his family was just terrible, his attitude now was proving that, he was brainwashed, or perhaps he was just a louse, he truly didn't see how his father taking advantage of her daddy's vulnerabilities was wrong, and he was prepared to defend everything; despite that though, she didn't hate him. She was frustrated and angry at his complete lack of empathy or understanding for her daddy's position, but she was also still somewhat shocked by the fact that they were in this situation at all, and worst of all she was still attracted to him. She still thought he was good-looking, she was both frustrated and impressed by his calm demeanour, and despite everything he had being paid for by the dirty Ewing money, she still enjoyed the stories he had shared with her and the evening he had organized for them up until a few minutes ago. She disliked him and she liked him at the same time and that was a very new feeling for her, one she didn't know how to deal with.

"I like you Pamela, I really do, but if this is your attitude toward my family, then I think we should end this now", listening to him speaking to her, she didn't know what to say, though she found herself responding easily. "Of course I have a negative attitude toward your family, you're all a part of my daddy's downfall and the reason why my family has struggled all my life. It's been four decades since those men discovered oil in South Central Texas and formed a company together, and in those four decades your daddy has gone from having nothing to having what I've heard described as soon to be the largest independent oil company in Texas. In that same time my daddy has struggled, with alcoholism, with money, with my mother, me, my brother, with the shame and anger of losing what little he had, and with everything else. I don't doubt your daddy is a very rich man because he's smart, but he's not innocent, not at all; as far as I'm concerned, your daddy is at least somewhat responsible for my daddy, and for you to deny that and take such a hands-off approach is deplorable". Glaring at him again, this time not so enamoured by his appearance and ability to stay calm, she then found herself continuing to speak, "you're right about one thing though, we should end this now. If you'll excuse me", standing, she was surprised with herself when she actually moved to collect her purse, pushed her chair in, and then turned to walk back toward the elevator. She was in control of herself, but she also felt as though she wasn't; she had some decency and generally it wasn't considered polite to argue in public, especially not to the point where she ended up walking out on him, but she couldn't take any more, and really, their relationship was going nowhere now that they knew the truth.

Watching Pamela walking away from their table, collecting her coat and then heading toward the elevator, Bobby sat puzzled by what had just witnessed and participated in. He had expected one thing tonight and ended up with something completely different and to be quite honest, he hated that turn of events. It was ridiculous, he had met Digger Barnes once in his adult life, and even then 'met' was the wrong word to use; back in 1969 Digger had shown up drunk at one of the Ewing barbecues, he'd tried to kill his daddy and had been quickly escorted off Southfork. Since then, he hadn't heard much about him or his family at all, not until Jack had shown up and stirred his daddy's nostalgia about 'the good old days' he, Jason, and Digger has spent wildcatting. Of course, he knew about the Barnes-Ewing feud, it wasn't a secret that Digger Barnes was fixated on a twisted version of the truth, or that his son Cliff wasn't fond of JR much at all, but Pamela, his sweet, pretty Pamela, that was a shock to him and he didn't like it. Finishing his drink in one gulp, he thought about things once again, it was just his luck that the one girl he actually liked and wanted to get to know turned out to be part of a family with a vendetta against his family; apparently attractive, kind, interesting, and genuinely normal, uncomplicated women just weren't attracted to him. The problem was, he was still attracted to her, as crazy and delusional as she was acting, and he wasn't ready to let her slip away from him.

"Pamela", hearing someone speaking her name, Pam slowly turned around. He was there, and now she was more confused than ever, because again, her anger was still present, but unlike when she had stormed off a few minutes ago, anger wasn't the sole emotion she was feeling.

To be continued…


	570. Getting Settled

**Dallas, Texas**

"…good, good, it'll be a full house tomorrow, the way it's supposed to be…" listening to his uncle's words and tone, Jack Ewing grinned to himself and relaxed into his motel bed. "I look forward to it, I'll see you all tomorrow", responding with a polite comment, he nodded to himself when Jock reiterated that it was going to be a good evening, and then said goodbye as Jock ended the call. Hanging up the phone, he looked around the room and smiled to himself; the room itself was small and basic, but he was happy; what he had told Jock about looking forward to the next evening was true, he liked Dallas and he liked feeling like he was a part of something.

Coming to Dallas had been a bit of a sneaky, selfish move, he had been seeking money and power, even if just a small amount, but he'd found more than that. He liked his uncle Jock, he had been nothing but nice to him since he had shown up in Dallas unannounced and if his comments were to be trusted, he was a generous man. He hadn't been offered any role at Ewing Oil yet, but he had been given the special family tour and from the way Jock acted with him, it was only a matter of time before an offer did come his way, because Bobby's final day was fast approaching and it sounded like they weren't having much luck with recruitment. As nice as Jock had been to him though, JR was a different story, he seemed to have doubts about the motive behind his presence, probably rightfully, because it was true that he hadn't exactly been naïve about Ewing Oil's success, or the vacancy they currently had, but to treat him with the amount of scepticism he did seemed excessive. He hadn't done anything to JR, in fact he'd thought he'd been pretty friendly and given him exactly what he wanted when Jock had first introduced them, he'd answered all of JR's nosy questions and chosen not to get angry when he was met with a passive aggressive attitude, but still JR hadn't warmed to him the way Jock had. The rest of the Ewing family seemed to be decent though, or what he had seen of them so far anyway. Miss Ellie had been somewhat reserved, but still polite and reasonably friendly; JR's lovely wife Sue Ellen had been the same, though perhaps a little jumpy, and she had been quick to excuse herself to get home to JR; and Lucy was a chatterbox. Bobby was the only member of the family he hadn't had much of a chance to talk with, at the office or at Southfork, but from the very brief interaction they'd had, he seemed likeable enough. There was John Ross too, everyone spoke very highly of the child, but he was just that, a child, there probably wasn't a whole lot he had to do to get his approval, or disapproval, so he wasn't too concerned about him, he liked kids well enough, but he wasn't the main focus of his time in Dallas.

Overall, his time in Dallas so far had been positive, and with Jock's invitation to a full family dinner the next evening, he felt good, he felt like he was a part of something bigger than just his own individual self and bigger than his individual interactions with different family members. He might just be wishing for something more than he had back in Alaska, he knew that, but he really did believe there was potential for something more in Dallas. His immediate family were different to the Dallas Ewings, they were close, but distant; after his mother had died the closeness between Jamie and his father had become more apparent, they were alike and he was the odd one out; in Dallas though, he felt like he had a chance to be someone important. Jock was an inviting man and if everything went smoothly, an invitation to join the family business wouldn't be too far off. Everything did have to go smoothly first though, and that meant building a relationship with people other than Jock, people like JR, Bobby, and Miss Ellie, the other major players in Jock's life. He didn't anticipate slowly integrating himself into the Dallas Ewings lives would be too difficult though, he liked to think of himself as a people person, and although he had come to Dallas with somewhat questionable motives, he was genuinely interested in making real relationships too.

Lying on his motel bed for a little while, just thinking, he was surprised at the time when he rolled over and caught sight of the clock on the nightstand. It was early, surprisingly early, and as much as remembering the events of the day and thinking of the future interested him, those thoughts probably weren't enough to occupy him all evening. He had to get out of his motel room, at least for a little while; being cooped up wasn't good for him, in fact, part of the reason why he'd left Alaska was to avoid being cooped up. He wasn't necessarily cooped up at work, because drilling for oil was hard, laborious, outdoor work, but during the long, cold winters, the rest hours between shifts could get a bit claustrophobic when shuffling from the drilling site, to home, and around the limited locations in town. He really wanted his life in Dallas to be different, and with that in mind, he stood and walked into the bathroom to freshen up. He didn't know his way around Dallas very well at all, and other than his family and the secretaries at Ewing Oil, he didn't really know anyone in town, but that didn't stop him from wanting to get out and do something and meet some people. He was an extrovert, he thrived on social interactions, or even just being around people, so there was only so much research and alone time he could take before he really started to get antsy by himself.

A few minutes later, after freshening up a bit, he put his coat on, grabbed his wallet and headed out. Driving his rented car, he was cautious at first because he didn't really know where he was going, however, after following the road signs for some time and realising he knew more of the street names and suburbs than he'd realised, he grew more confident. He still didn't have a destination, but that didn't really matter, getting out and seeing the city he intended to make his home was enough of an activity for now; exploration could be fun, as could the challenge of integrating himself with a new set of people. He would have plenty of time in the future to become like JR, uptight, always busy, always on a schedule, and always holding a bit of power to control the actions of those around him, like when Sue Ellen had rushed home to be with him. Right now though, he was young, single, and free to enjoy an evening without any kind of plan, except of course to boost his energy and happiness and relieve his potential boredom.

To be continued…


	571. Proposed Solution

**Dallas, Texas**

"…ask JR to come in here after he's finished with Diane, then send Bobby in when he arrives. See if you can locate Jack too, I want to speak to him". Giving his orders, Jock nodded to indicate that was all he had to say for now, and then waited for Julie to leave before opening his top desk drawer and pulling out a brown manila folder. Leafing through the numerous resumes the employment agency and Ewing Oil's internal HR department had sent through to him, he shook his head and muttered a few words to himself before tossing the folder onto his desk and getting up to make himself a drink. It was still early in the morning and coffee was probably a more appropriate drink than bourbon, but coffee wasn't really strong enough to satisfy the 'need' for a drink, so bourbon it was, for him at least. Turning around as he heard a knock at the door, he called out to JR to come in, and looking up at him as he closed the office door behind him, noticing the cup of coffee in his hand, he didn't bother to ask his customary question, instead just going straight for what he had called JR in to discuss.

"Take a quick look at these and tell me what you think…" taking a seat, he slid the manila folder across his desk toward JR and then sat watching his son leafing through the resumes just like he had done. "Pathetic isn't it? Two million people in the Dallas–Fort Worth metroplex and that's the best they can come up with. This job isn't suitable for an older man, it's not suitable for a married man, and it's certainly not suitable for a woman; those idiots downstairs and at that damn agency don't seem to understand that though. What I don't understand is why we're getting attention from everyone except the ones we actually need it from; you're unique and so is Bobby, but you're not so different that the characteristics you both had that benefitted the role are nowhere else to be found. It's PR, pimping if you really want to be honest about it; it requires the right man, but it's not rocket science; there's something wrong with a certain group of young men nowadays if they don't read that advertisement and think what we're offering in return is a good deal".

Rolling his eyes, he waited for JR to finish looking at the documents and to voice his agreement; he was right, he knew he was, he always liked to hear the sound of someone agreeing with him that he was right though. In this case, he expected JR would be that person, at least in regard to the quality of the applications they had received, when it came to the idea he had to overcome their recruitment problem, he wasn't quite so sure JR would agree with him. He and JR didn't always get along and he was sure his eldest son was going to have something to say about the solution he had thought up in light of the problem they were facing, because he was clearly not sold on Jack's presence. At the end of the day though, JR wanted what was best for Ewing Oil, and from Jock's perspective that was replacing Bobby with an equally young, single, charming, and willing man, all of which Jack was. His opinion had been swayed somewhat by the fact that Jack was a Ewing too, albeit not specifically his branch of the Ewings, but a Ewing nonetheless; Ewing Oil was a family company, it was only right to employ family; with the lack of suitable talent in Dallas too, he saw no harm in at least giving Jack a chance.

"Mm", looking over the resumes and listening to his father, JR knew to make a sound in agreement, it was what his father had called him in to do. Not wanting to go too far with his agreement before he actually agreed though, he simply made a short sound and continued to read. "This one isn't so bad, but on the whole, you're right. Who wouldn't want to work for Ewing Oil? We're offering a good deal here and getting nowhere. We have to make a decision though, so I propose we interview some of these men, perhaps they're better in person than they are on paper. I doubt it, but you never know, and we need someone, fast. By the time we get through negotiations and they hand in notice, Bobby's last few weeks will be over…" Pulling one paper out of the file, he placed it on the desk and pointed his finger at the top of the page so his father could see which applicant he had selected as a possibility. Neither of them particularly wanted someone who was too experienced in a professional environment, the job they had open wasn't a traditional public relations role and it definitely wasn't a traditional marketing role, the job wasn't suited to someone who expected to actually be involved in running the business. The recruitment agency didn't quite seem to understand their needs though and continued to send them overqualified or irrelevantly qualified applicants; as he had said to his father though, they needed to make a decision and they needed to do it soon.

"I agree, we need to make a decision. I disagree with you though that we need to interview any of these men, I can see it from these applications they're not right, I'm not wasting my time interviewing to confirm the same", pausing for a moment, Jock made sure he had JR's attention before continuing. "I have a better idea; I wanted to wait until Bobby was here to discuss this but I suppose now is as good a time as any; I think we should bring Jack in for a trial run. From what I've gathered from talking to him he's perfect for the role; he knows oil, he's good with people, and he's a Ewing. Bobby can bring him along on his remaining trips, to train him, and then when he leaves, Jack can take over". Dropping the news on JR, Jock wasn't surprised at all when he received a glare and a very clear, "no"; JR had been downright rude to Jack earlier in the week, but he would just have to get used to his cousin being around, because he wasn't going anywhere if he could help it. He didn't trust just anyone, he wasn't stupid and he hadn't made it as far as he had in life by acting stupidly, he trusted Jack enough though, and from the basic report he'd had put together, he was right to. Jack was likely an opportunist, but he wasn't dangerous or a threat to Ewing Oil, in fact he could be an asset if his talents were exploited just right, and on a personal level, he liked having another person around to tell him exactly what he liked to hear. Jack was running from manual labour in Alaska, but unlike Gary he wasn't running from hard work, and he didn't blame him for wanting something different, drilling was arduous and a smart Ewing knew it wasn't the pathway to the real oil riches. What went on in the offices, restaurants, boardrooms, and hotel rooms of Dallas and greater Texas was where the real money was made, for both the company and the individual.

"No", maintaining the eye contact his father had established, JR stayed silent for a moment before elaborating, "we barely know this Jack person, other than what he's told us, which isn't a whole lot we didn't already know. I don't trust him and I won't have him worming his way into Ewing Oil; he's entitled to nothing and I intend for it to stay that way. I say that as the vice president of Ewing Oil, not as your son; we are not hiring that boy, not for a trial run, not ever". His father wasn't a stupid man, in fact he was a very smart man, but in this instance he was being incredibly naïve and unfair; they didn't know anything about Jack and inviting him to join their company was just about the stupidest thing they could do; his father had to understand that, yet it seemed he didn't. What really got him though was the fact that despite knowing Jack for only a very short period of time, his father already seemed to hold a very favourable opinion of him, he was treating him well, like he treated Bobby, but not like he treated him. Once again, Jock Ewing was being exactly who JR knew him to be, exactly who he claimed not to be; once again, it was everyone but him that received Jock Ewing's positive, caring thoughts and attention. Jack was the new Bobby and there was little he could do about it except fight to ensure his voice was heard; simply wishing his father would take notice and responsibility for his attitude and actions was futile.

To be continued…


	572. Middle Ground

**Dallas, Texas**

"Now just wait a minute boy; firstly, I am the president, you are the vice president, it's customary for us to make decisions for this company together, but I do not need your signature in order to make changes, don't forget that and don't you ever try to threaten me. Secondly, do you think I'm stupid? Do you really think I haven't done any research into the man I'm considering bringing into Ewing Oil? We screen all our new employees here, you, Bobby, and Jack included. His story checks out, he's Jason's son, he worked summers in the Alaskan fields when he was a boy, then after high school he worked there full time, until a few weeks ago when he handed in his notice and left, not just left the job but left Alaska completely. I'm working on finding out exactly what went on with he and Jason that caused him to run from Alaska, because I'm not stupid, I know something happened there, just like if Gary were to show up in Jason's doorstep, it'd probably be clear that something happened here too. I don't have a full report on what that incident was yet, but what I do have is a basic report and my intuition and those are telling me that your suspicious nature is over-the-top".

"Jack's young, he has no criminal record, he has a steady employment history, he's polite and can maintain a conversation, he knows the oil business and he's interested in our family history, he seems to be smart, and if what I overheard Julie telling Diane this morning is true, apparently he possesses the Ewing charm. I don't have much time for gossip, but this seemed like useful information, it appears he spent last night getting acquainted with the nightlife this city has to offer, much like you and Bobby did at his age. I'm not talking about handing any kind of power over to him, Ewing Oil is yours if that's what you're worried about, that's not going to change; what I'm talking about is taking the talent we already know Jack possesses and using it to our advantage. All of those applications are for men who are looking for some kind of career position, something they can use to create a name for themselves; the position is really made for a Ewing, someone who understands the company, someone who can sell the image because he really believes it and because people can connect to him. I did it, you did it, Bobby did it, and one day John Ross will do it, before then though, we need someone to fill that role and I want that person to be Jack. He's a Ewing, I think he's capable, and I'm willing to give him a chance, and I mean just that, a chance, if he's useless, he's gone, no issue, he's an employee, we can give notice; if he proves to be good at the role though, then we have him, not some other company. This is what I want and it's what's going to happen. None of this was his idea, he's not, as you put it, 'worming his way in', and whether you trust him or not is irrelevant at present. If you're going to play the vice president card, then so am I, I'm the president of Ewing Oil and until the day I die I will have a say in what goes on around here".

Downing the last of his drink as he finished speaking, Jock continued to hold his eldest son's stare. He knew JR, he was just like him, he was stubborn and he didn't like being told no; it wasn't a bad trait, or it wasn't usually a bad trait, his perseverance had served Ewing Oil well, but in this case, it was causing more issues than necessary. JR used to be so obedient and willing, but recently things had been different, that was a problem, one that needed to be fixed, fast. He had previously expressed his displeasure at certain business decisions, most memorably Bobby's inclusion in Ewing Oil business at all, and he had previously lost that battle, he'd also learned to live with Bobby though, and he could certainly do the same with Jack if he just tried. His current bad attitude was both more of the same and something different; he was still being a whiny little boy, complaining about anything and everything he could in order to make Jack look bad, but this time, he also seemed to really hate Jack. This time JR wasn't just whining about not being the only second-generation Ewing at Ewing Oil, one who would be happy to socialise with Jack if he chose to leave the oil business alone and instead decided to take up ranching with Bobby, no, this time, unlike with Bobby, he wasn't interested in any kind of relationship. That was a problem, he liked Jack, but he loved JR, even if he didn't ever really say it and JR didn't seem to believe it. He wanted to include Jack in life in Dallas because he was family and he seemed to be a decent man, but JR was making everything so difficult, from talking to being a family, nothing was simple with JR.

"If he's that good then he'll have no problem coming out on top of the interview process then, will he?" breaking eye contact for a second, Jock was unable to mask his surprise at the fact that JR wasn't responding directly to his executive decision to bring Jack in regardless of his agreement. He had taught JR everything he knew, but there were still times where the way he approached things surprised him, this was one of those times. Before he got a chance to question exactly what JR was getting at though, his eldest son began to speak again, elaborating without being asked. "If you're so confident that he's what we need, and he's able to prove that to be true, then I'm willing to give him a chance. You're failing to see the possibility that perhaps his age, level of experience, and his understanding of actual business aren't what we need though, and there's a very real possibility that he won't be the next Bobby, instead he'll be the next Gary…"

"I think you're also forgetting that the position is promotion, gathering favours, and insurance; we're sending someone out to represent us, he's the face of the company, he has the ability to make or break our chances of getting ahead in certain places and with certain people. That's power; maybe not in starting salary, access to confidential information, or level of actual, real importance and necessity within the company, but in regard to how much that man can influence outsiders to love us, hate us, work with us, or refuse to acknowledge us, that's power, there's no denying that. For that reason, I propose we select the very best applicants, vet them thoroughly, and then interview. Like I said, if Jack's half the man you're describing him as, and not in fact the phony opportunist I think he is, then he'll have no problem coming out on top, and when that happens, the job is his. It's only fair, you put me through the wringer to get to where I am today, and Bobby, well, he had a much easier time, but even he started off reading facts, maps, and charts before he moved on up. Jack deserves no more than that, if anything he deserves less, but if you're insisting we give him a chance, I insist we first cover all the bases. You can't deny me that, you taught me the importance of due diligence, remember?"

Leaning back in his chair as JR spoke, Jock shook his head; JR was smart and he was loyal to Ewing Oil, he'd made him that way, and it was wonderful, but it was also a real pain at times. He had taught JR to question and dissect everything, and never to be too trusting, but he had done that with the intention that JR use those skills and traits to tear the enemy apart, not cause problems within Ewing Oil. Listening to JR though, he couldn't help but agree with his son; he hated to admit it, because he had confidence in Jack and he liked him as a person, but perhaps he had jumped ahead just a little too far, too soon, and perhaps it was time to take a step back and let Jack's skills speak for themselves. They needed someone to fill Bobby's role, soon, but a time constraint was no excuse for sloppy work; being rushed not a worthy defence from his employees and although he was the boss, he knew that that really applied to him too. "Fine. Hand me those resumes", not smiling or saying anything else in relation to what JR had just said, especially the never-ending comparison between he and Bobby, he held his hand out and accepted the manila folder. He still didn't believe any of the applicants in the folder were truly fit for the role, but he'd agreed to interview and if he was going to waste his time doing that, then he might as well meet the best of the bunch.

To be continued…


	573. Unclear Motives

**Dallas, Texas**

Strolling in to the office a little over half an hour after JR and Jock, Bobby Ewing grimaced as he heard raised voices coming from his father's office, and when Julie gave him the message that his presence was requested, he walked a little slower. He wasn't in a particularly good mood to begin with and knowing he was about to walk in to something tense didn't make him feel any better; he had to do it though, that was what working professionals, and adults in general, did, walking away from problems wasn't an option in a lot of situations in life. Heading down to his own small office to hang his coat in an attempt to delay the inevitable, despite the fact that he knew he couldn't, he then turned and walked back down the hall, knocking on his father's office door and then entering. "Morning Daddy, JR. Julie said you wanted to see me?" speaking as he closed the door behind him, he was surprised when his greeting was met with complete silence, followed by a look between his father and brother, and then raised voices again as JR and his father spoke both to each other and over each other. "Yes, yes, Bobby, just the man we wanted to see", breaking the way the conversation was directed, JR waved him over and pointed at a chair, saying "take a seat", before finishing his coffee and then fanning through some documents in a brown folder. Doing as his older brother said, though not before giving him a questioning look, he relaxed into the chair and waited for someone to explain what was going on. He didn't feel uneasy like he had earlier, now he was just curious, he was in demand, that never happened, at least not at the office.

Looking back and forth between his father and brother, he was pleased when JR spoke again, getting straight to the point, or closer to the point than anything in their conversation so far had indicated. "Now, we have your final day in the office set as being March 23rd, that's a month from now, and as you've probably noticed, your replacement has yet to be selected. Don't you go worrying about that though, we're not going to force you to stay longer than you intend to; I know how stressful and tiring it is to travel, spreading the three B's, and collecting information along the way…" Sensing JR's tone changing from serious to sarcastic, Bobby glared at his brother and then stared at his father to try to gauge some of his thoughts. He had assumed the conversation was going one way, but it seemed to be going another and he wanted to prepare himself for whatever was coming next, because with JR, anything was possible; his brother could switch personalities in a second and that could be dangerous.

"Come March 26th you'll be free of all that though, free to roam around the ranch on horseback or whatever it is you're supposed to be doing. I'm getting ahead of myself though, what we called you in here to talk about was your replacement and your part in training said replacement. Daddy and I have discussed it and we'll be interviewing candidates next week; we hope to have a deal negotiated in enough time for you to spend your final week or two showing the new man how we do things around here. Now, daddy has decided our dear cousin Jack is the 'ideal' candidate, and I've decided to hold my tongue until he proves to us that he's not, but again, just leave it up to us to make those decisions, you just keep doing what you're doing…" Listening to JR talking, Bobby rolled his eyes as his brother paused dramatically for a second as if to emphasise again that he didn't quite understand exactly what he did all day, despite the fact that he had manipulated things years ago to ensure he played a minimal role at Ewing Oil, and he'd once done the job himself.

"JR, that's enough", turning his attention to his father as he cleared his throat and growled at JR in response to his sarcastic, negative tone and words, Bobby was once again curious. He expected his father to defend him when JR spoke to him in such a condescending tone, and he was glad it appeared he was about to do that, but he was also still intrigued by what JR had managed to tell him somewhere in the middle of his speech. JR wasn't known for his trusting nature, so it was expected that he was sceptical of Jack's presence, however, his wording when describing 'dear cousin Jack' told him that as well as being sceptical of his motives for being in Dallas, he really didn't seem to like him much at all.

"JR, we've discussed this, now hush, I don't want to hear any more. Bobby, we've managed to get off topic, what you were called in here for was to update you on the progress we've made in filling the position you're vacating. Usually I wouldn't bother you with all of this administrative talk, but in this case I'd like your input, not just yet, but later, when we shortlist applicants and select one or two who are suitable, I think your opinion might be beneficial. I'll be inviting Jack to apply along with the rest, I think he's perfect for the role, there are formalities to go through first though... Now, with that in mind, I've invited him here today and he'll be at the house for family dinner tonight; I'm putting you on welcome duty. Get to know him, he's your cousin, he's part of this family and I want him to feel it; don't be stupid though, trust your intuition…" Nodding as his father spoke, Bobby turned his attention to JR as his father did the same, "JR, I want you to do the same, but drop the preconceived notions and give him a chance. When you've both done that, I want a report back…" Trailing off without completely finishing what he was saying, it was clear to Bobby that although his father trusted Jack and was disappointed in JR for not feeling the same way, he was also starting to come around to JR's way of thinking. It was also clear to him now that in the situation they were in, he was the tiebreaker and whatever his intuition told him in the end, someone was going to end up disappointed, because his father and brother were on complete opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to their opinions on Jack.

"I can do that, I've been meaning to get acquainted with him anyway, not for business reasons but because he is my cousin, he is a Ewing…" Looking over at JR to gauge whether his negative opinion of Jack was based on the fact that he was protective of the Ewing name, or whether it was something else entirely, he knew he was on the right track when JR frowned at the mention of another Ewing. Not wanting it too obvious that he was searching JR for clues as to what he was thinking, he changed topic slightly as he spoke again, "while we're discussing my job, I have a question of my own if you don't mind answering. The other applicants, do they have any chance, or is this already Jack's job? I only ask because I don't anticipate my intuition telling me to run, but if it does, I want to know that telling the truth will be an option…" Looking back and forth between JR and his father, he knew he had asked an important question; he knew what JR wanted, and he knew what his father wanted, but he wasn't sure what his father's intentions were in involving him in the pre-employment process. Was he supposed to be the supportive good guy or the bad guy, Jock's scapegoat when everything went wrong? He wasn't sure. He did know one thing though; he would've been receptive to getting to know Jack even without being asked to, or being tasked to for a specific information gathering purpose. He didn't see Jack as a threat like JR did, and he didn't see him in the same light his father did, not yet, at present he was simply his cousin and someone to get to know. What he was wary of in the process of getting to know Jack was what would happen if his opinion differed to his father's opinion. His father seemed to already think highly of Jack, so he needed to know whether he was asking for his opinion because he actually valued it, or whether he was simply looking for validation. He knew he was a pawn in the game JR and his father were playing but exactly where he fit in to everything was still unclear to him.

"Now Bob, all applicants have an equal chance, what kind of company would we be if we didn't select the best man for the job? As for your second question, that's up to you, but you know what they say, 'never tell the truth when a good lie will do', unless of course, your truth is my truth, then of course be honest". Meeting JR's eye as his brother spoke, Bobby's confusion grew; JR could be so vague, and could switch moods so often that sometimes it was hard to keep up with him. "I don't know what that means, so I'll just say this, I'll meet with Jack, like I said, not out of any obligation, but because I want to. Regarding recommending him for the job though, I'll have to hold my opinion on that until after I get to know him, I don't know enough about him to agree or disagree at this point in time". Looking at his father as he spoke, he hoped he would understand, and when he received a nod and no angry words in response, he felt like they had an understanding. Turning his attention back to JR at the sound of his chuckle, he crinkled his forehead in confusion again, JR really was changeable, one minute he was angry, the next sarcastic, the next vague, and the next amused, it didn't make much sense to him, but that was JR, he did a lot of things that didn't make sense. Ideally, they would talk later, in private, but knowing JR, even that wouldn't help, though perhaps this time it would, because this time he wanted him on his side, he wasn't pushing him away. Whatever was going through JR and his father's minds though, he would try his best to come to his own conclusion about Jack, because he liked to be fair and this time was no different. Jack deserved a chance and he wasn't going to block his way, he wasn't going to assist him to the extreme either though; Jack had opportunities and it was up to him to make those opportunities into something.

To be continued…


	574. Evidence

**Dallas, Texas**

"Diane, is Bobby still around?" leaning back in his chair, JR spoke into the intercom and grinned to himself when his secretary responded, "yes". Ordinarily, his youngest brother's presence at the office was more of an annoyance than anything else, but today he was glad that he had decided to stick around and pretend to work, that meant he didn't have to travel far to prove his point. "Good, send him in here, I have a few things I want to show him". His father had done some research, but for a smart, sneaky businessman, he sure hadn't done a very thorough job. Jack was shady and it was high time someone dealt with him in an appropriate manner.

"Take a look at this", tossing his own brown manila folder at his brother, he sat and watched smugly as Bobby leafed through the contents. "There's a lot in there, but I'd like to draw your attention to a couple of things in particular. Firstly, you'll find multiple eyewitness confirmations that he was at the library using the microfilm reader to look at old newspapers, newspapers the Ewing family has appeared in more than a few times over the past few decades. Secondly, there's a detailed list of the contents of his motel room, nothing too out of the ordinary there, except of course the folder with his travel information in it, travel information that seems to indicate the trip from Alaska to Dallas wasn't exactly planned well in advance. To go with that, it appears our dear cousin won't be in for too much of a surprise when daddy makes his suggestion, as you'll see from the photo supplied, he knows all about the job we're advertising, he's torn our ad from the newspaper and I'd bet money that he did that before he ever showed up at Soutfork. Daddy says he's contacted a few people in Alaska to do his own research and Jack's story about his previous employment checks out, but I don't believe for a second that he just came to Dallas for a change of scenery. He's here with an agenda and you and daddy are very naïve if you think otherwise; he's playing a game and we're participating in it, like fools, because nobody has established the prize or the rules. He has no claim on Ewing Oil and I don't understand why everyone is so quick to gloss over that, it's not like we all have some great attachment to him anyway, he's nothing and no one to us. He didn't write first or call to let us know he was coming, he's a stranger who's shown up out of nowhere looking for a handout and I cannot believe you and daddy are so willing to just accept him, without any thought to the future".

Shaking his head as he looked over the dossier JR had complied on their cousin, Bobby wasn't sure whether to laugh or shout; JR was incredibly predictable, in the worst way. "You broke into his hotel room? JR, that's low…" His brother had had a point earlier in the day, they didn't know all that much about Jack or even of him and it was perhaps a bit foolish and hasty to jump straight in to offering him a job working with them, but still, that was no reason to treat him like the enemy. As far as he could tell, Jack was a young man just like himself, and even with JR's information documenting his prior knowledge of the state of the Dallas Ewings, it was still reaching to assume he was anything more than curious about his family. He was Jason's son, naturally he knew of Ewing Oil and one would expect when taking a trip to Dallas he would satisfy his curiosity by seeking the people and researching the company he'd likely only ever hear about in stories or caught glimpses of in pictures. In that general research it was also likely that one would stumble upon the job Ewing Oil was currently advertising, a lot of people had spent a lot of time and money ensuring the ad stood out amongst the others on the page.

As far as Bobby was concerned, JR was acting completely irrationally, Jack wasn't a criminal or even a suspicious stranger, he was just a young man who had made an impulsive decision and ended up stepping on someone's toes in the process. The most baffling and somewhat hilarious part of the situation as Bobby saw it though was the fact that despite all of the discussion about Jack and all of the effort that had been put into building him up and tearing him down, Jack had yet to actually say a word. For all they knew he didn't even want the job, he was simply curious about his family in Dallas and was planning on returning to Alaska soon enough. Before he had a chance to voice any of his thoughts to JR though, his older brother was back ranting again.

"Motel room Bob, and I didn't do it, one of my men did. That's beside the point though, don't you see, he's playing us and daddy's falling for it, we have to do something, before it's too late. You might not see it, you're leaving Ewing Oil soon enough so you won't have to deal with the consequences, but I sure as hell do and will. Ewing Oil is set to be mine and will be mine, but what use is it being in control later if I'm not in control now, or allow daddy to make quick, reckless decisions that could ruin everything? I'm sure you wouldn't like it if instead of daddy saying he wanted to give Jack a job here, he said he'd be better off at the ranch. The ranch is your domain, you do whatever it is you do there and you're happy about it, especially the power hierarchy. There's a plan and some insignificant, arrogant outsider pushing himself into our family businesses isn't part of the plan. Make friends with him all you want, if you still honestly believe he's worth being friends with, and if you're generous enough to part with what daddy has gifted you, then be my guest, but he has no place at Ewing Oil and I want you to back me up when the topic comes up for discussion again". Speaking animatedly as he described the awful picture of the future he imagined if Jack did worm his way into things at Ewing Oil, JR's tone changed as he spoke the final part of his last sentence. Bobby was his brother and although they didn't always get along, they ought to be far more important to each other than some secondary, Alaskan Ewing, and Bobby really needed to remember that. He was looking for his brother's support because it would be easier to convince their father if the son he actually liked was against his plan, however, he would push forward without his support if necessary. Jack was an intruder in Dallas, he had to go, one way or another, where to didn't really matter, as long as he was out of their lives.

To be continued…


	575. The Benefit of the Doubt

**Dallas, Texas**

With only the sound of John Ross's crinkly book filling the car, Sue Ellen watched her husband as he concentrated hard on driving, gripping the steering wheel, checking his mirrors every few seconds, and staring intently out at the long, straight road ahead of them. In other circumstances, focusing on driving would be a positive thing, however, from the pouty expression on his face, it was far from positive, in fact, it was clear to her that he was using driving as a distraction, though it wasn't working all that well. As was becoming the norm in his personal life, he was all wound-up, likely ready to explode at any moment, and that was not good, for anyone. Unfortunately, although Sue Ellen felt for him, because he had been hurt by his mother in the past, his father was currently ignoring his feelings, Bobby hadn't been as compliant or empathetic as he had hoped, and Jack had appeared in his life at an inopportune time, she did think he was overreacting just a tiny bit. Nothing had actually happened yet, but he was already acting like it had and like he had to be on the defensive, and if she knew Jock, that attitude would only escalate whatever problems were waiting for them at Southfork.

Noticing JR begin to drum his fingers against the steering wheel, Sue Ellen felt compelled to say something. To be completely stress-free was almost impossible when he was JR Ewing, he had a very important, stressful job, but that didn't mean he had to accept stress as part of his personal life, he could choose to make issues out of things that hadn't happened yet, or he could choose not to, she wanted to remind him of that. "JR, will you please try to relax, you're so tense I think I'm developing a stomach ulcer just sitting here watching you. Everything's going to be fine, it's family dinner, not war; we'll go, mingle, eat dinner, stay for a polite amount of time afterwards, then make some excuse about it being John Ross' bedtime and leave". Not wanting to startle him, she spoke in a soft tone, downplayed the significance of the family dinner, and made sure not to try too hard to get him to look at her, she'd been in a car accident while emotional once and knew better than to pull the driver's eyes from the road. "Mm", hearing his murmured response and seeing his grip on the steering wheel loosen just a little, she knew she was having some effect on him and decided to keep talking.

"You've done this a million times before, remember, we lived at Southfork during a lot of very hard periods in our lives, this isn't new, in fact, it's probably not even half as bad as some of the other things we've experienced together. Your mama and daddy are thrilled we're coming and I know they're excited to see John Ross at Southfork again; Bobby knows better than to make a scene in front of the whole family; and Jack, well I don't know him very well, but he didn't strike me as the type to cause a scene for no reason. I think you're right to be suspicious and protective, but I also think perhaps you need to loosen up just a little bit when it comes to Jack, give him a chance, or at least tolerate him, but don't intentionally needle him just to get a reaction, that won't do anyone any good. I imagine Jack is nervous enough as it is anyway, or he will be once he arrives and the whole family is seated for dinner, formal Ewing style. I remember the first time I visited Southfork, I was excited and terrified at the same time; you don't see it, but the Ewing family and everything you have can be imposing and a little bit daunting for an outsider to be introduced to. You're all human, and material possessions don't make a person, but to begin with it can be hard to see past that. Your parents were so kind and friendly when I first arrived though and that instantly made me feel welcome; I think, for the sake of politeness and family values, we should try to offer Jack the same welcome. Please believe me, I'm not trying to side with him or anything like that, I just, I can see things from his perspective; he probably did do everything you're accusing him of, and I totally understand why you don't want him anywhere near Ewing Oil, or even your father for that matter, but the fact is, he's a Ewing. In the weird world we live in, the name Ewing means something and until further notice, you have to live with that, or I suppose you don't have to, but it'll make everything easier if you do".

Unintentionally explaining some of her thoughts about his vendetta against Jack, Sue Ellen waited for JR to turn and glare at her and when he didn't, instead murmuring a single "hm", she wondered what was going on in his head. "Continue", not taking his eyes off the road as he spoke, her interest and uncertainty grew, she never knew what to make of him when he simply listened and kept a poker face. As he had requested her to explain her thoughts though and as he didn't seem to be angry, she did as he said and continued to speak, "I've listened to you enough to know that it's always best to drip-feed information to let your enemies think they have the upper hand, all while you are scheming in the background. I don't propose you go quite that far, not until Jock actually makes moves to have Jack encroach on your space at Ewing Oil, or he really begins to treat you badly; what I mean is I think family relations will be better if you are seen to be cooperating, not acting in a hostile manner without provocation. You can't expect to be seen as the calm, rational, correct man in the situation if you're the one poking and prodding at things, just waiting for a reaction. It's not fair, but it makes sense, your mama and daddy should trust you and love you more than Jack, but you have to meet them half way, you have to show them that you're not totally vindictive".

"The other part of what I meant is that there's a tiny chance your research is correct, but the conclusion you're drawing is incorrect, and in that case the outcome is positive too. Jack could have genuinely come to Dallas looking for his family and with an interest in Ewing Oil, the company he probably grew up hearing about just like you did. If that's the case and he's not here to try to scam you and your daddy out of what is rightfully yours, but instead he's interested in Ewing Oil because he wants to make a connection but doesn't want to be seen as a freeloader, so he's planning on working here in Dallas, then that's actually quite honourable. Think about it, he isn't staying here at the ranch, he hasn't asked for any money or other compensation, and he has a steady work history. He might be a bad guy, but he could also easily be an ordinary, good guy, I think it's too soon to tell, even with your research. Please, don't hate me for saying that, I'm really just thinking aloud".

Watching him as he slowed and turned smoothly down the long Southfork driveway, she was hugely surprised to find him expressionless again, his silence told her he was thinking, but his facial expression gave her no indication of what he was thinking and that was a bit unnerving. They were at Southfork now, about to walk into a family dinner, now was not the time for them to be fighting and it was not the time for him to decide to spend the evening silently sulking. "I don't trust him, I don't like him, and I don't expect to either, but I'll stay silent for now. The minute he provokes me though, I can't make any promises…" hearing him break the silence, she was both surprised and not surprised when a few seconds later he was out of the car and outside her door, like a gentleman; that was JR, he could be one way one second and totally different another. "Thank you", taking his hand as she got out of the car, she leaned in and kissed him softly before turning around and attending to John Ross and as she did so, she felt more positive than she had when they'd left their house. There was no guarantee anyone else would behave, despite what she had said while reassuring her husband, however, they couldn't control anyone but themselves, so it wasn't worth worrying about.

To be continued…


	576. Fishing for Information

**Dallas, Texas**

After saying a general hello to the family, handing John Ross over to an insistent Lucy to coo over and play with, and accepting a drink from Jock, Sue Ellen made a short comment about needing to speak to Bobby before separating herself from JR and her parents-in-law. For a brief second she wondered whether perhaps she had made a mistake in leaving JR with his parents, because things hadn't exactly been smooth sailing for them recently, however, remembering what she had told JR before accepting their dinner invitation, and taking into account how things looked now, she wasn't too worried. Jock and Miss Ellie missed having them around the ranch, or at least they missed John Ross and the concept of the 'family home', and they were well aware that in order to keep things as close to how they liked them they had to make an effort with JR. To add to that, if any of the conversations she had had with Miss Ellie meant anything, she really did feel terrible about how her and Jock's actions had made JR feel and she really did want to make things right, so it was unlikely she would just passively watch if Jock decided to start needling JR. She also trusted JR's judgement, he was a grown man, in fact, bar Lucy and John Ross, they were all adults and the least they could do was act like it. JR wasn't stupid and despite having the mentality of a sad little boy at times, he wasn't actually little, he knew the power of his words and when really pushed he knew how to use them against his father. At times he was hesitant to defend himself or call his father out on his nonsense because Jock had done a good job instilling a sense of hierarchy in the family and it was hard to break free from that mentality, however, JR was capable. For those reasons and the fact that she and JR had spoken before walking into the house, Sue Ellen didn't feel like she had to hover at her husband's side as support and emotional protection.

"Good evening Bobby", taking a seat next to her brother-in-law, Sue Ellen smiled with a knowing glint in her eye and silently waited for him to say something in response. She hadn't had the chance to speak to him since his date with Pamela and although it was perhaps a little ridiculous for her to be so curious, she couldn't help it, she had had a hand in pairing them up and she was interested in hearing how things had progressed since her involvement. "Sue Ellen, just the lady I've been meaning to speak to", meeting Bobby's eye as he spoke to her, Sue Ellen sensed that he meant more by his comment than a polite greeting, and raising an eyebrow, she verbalised her interest, "oh? Well I'm here, so let's talk…" Taking a sip of her wine, she then waited for him to respond, and when he did, she wasn't disappointed, though she couldn't say she wasn't at least a little bit confused; Pamela was the topic of conversation, but not in the way she had expected.

After watching his sister-in-law sidle across the room to sit next to him, Bobby wasn't the least bit surprised when the first thing she did after saying hello was fish for information; Sue Ellen wasn't much of a DOA member anymore and her popular cheerleader, sorority girl days were over, but that didn't mean she didn't still gossip. He wasn't too fond of the possibility of JR or his father finding out about Pamela's background before he did, so he didn't want to reveal too much to Sue Ellen in case she let it slip to JR, intentionally or not, however, he still wanted to talk to her about Pamela, he wanted her thoughts on the situation. "How much do you know about Pamela?" thinking back, he was able to draw a very clear line in his memory where his evening with Pamela had turned from pleasant to awkward and then to unpleasant and confusing. Evidently, a Ewing and a Barnes could get along just fine as strangers, but the minute the matter of family names was established, everything quickly collapsed.

"How much do I know about Pamela? To be quite honest Bobby, I don't know her that well, we'd only met once before the skating rink and even then our conversation wasn't extensive. I know she was a shop girl in high school and now works in an office. I know she has a kind heart too, I get the strong feeling everything she does is for the greater good of her family, not just herself, and when we first met she expressed interest and gratefulness for the charity work I'm involved in. When we met the second and third times, at the ice rink and when she came to visit me, it was clear to me that she's a nice, caring person, she was so concerned about you and I don't think that was only because she likes you, she's just a good person. Like I said though, I don't really know her that well, in fact you probably know her better than I do now, I don't doubt she has another side, she certainly wasn't all smiles when you skated straight into the back of her, but when it comes down to it I think she's a nice girl. Why do you ask though? My opinion and the small amount of information I have on her doesn't really matter overall does it? It's what you think of her and what she's told you about herself that really matters…" Getting the feeling from Bobby's question that he had something on his mind, Sue Ellen hoped he would just come out and say it, because not knowing anything about how the date had gone, or whether his opinion matched her own was beginning to get to her. She didn't want to seem too eager to get involved though, she was aware that it wasn't good to latch on to someone else's life events in place of her own because she didn't have all that much going on in her social life. She could give advice and act as a friend, but to actually feel things as Bobby and Pamela did wasn't a good idea. She did want to be Bobby's friend though, Pamela's too, and she was curious as to what had actually happened between them, so she was happy to participate in the conversation, just not to decide Bobby's feelings for him.

"That's just it though, it's what she told me, and how she reacted to me that's the problem…" aware that his parents and JR were in the room, Bobby was cautious about how much he said to Sue Ellen about Pamela. She was a Barnes and around Southfork that was not a name that was met with a positive reaction. Apparently, the same could be said for the name Ewing in her home, he had managed to catch her before she left the restaurant after their argument, however, catching her wasn't enough and although he had insisted on at least driving her home if she really didn't want to continue their date, he hadn't been able to sway her opinion. Of course, he understood her refusal to see things from a different perspective, he didn't believe the half of what she had said about his father and just because she said it didn't mean his opinion had changed, so naturally he couldn't expect hers to change either. What confused him about the situation with Pamela was that despite hating hearing her attack his family like she had and then refusing to listen to reason, he still had feelings for her, feelings that weren't anger or frustration, but were closer to romantic interest and lust. He couldn't date Pamela knowing what he knew now though, and even if he could come to terms with who she was, she had made it clear she didn't want to date him anyway, so now he was stuck.

"Problem? Bobby, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm confused, you're speaking very vaguely and I don't understand. How did Pamela react to you, why did she react that way, and why is that a problem?" Thoroughly confused by his ambiguous comments, Sue Ellen decided direct questions were the way to go, Doctor Williams often asked a direct question with the intention of getting her and JR to think about something specific and then verbalise a few thoughts, rather than getting overwhelmed and not knowing what to day. Seeing Bobby nod in response and then open his mouth to actually speak, she found herself irrationally annoyed when instead of hearing Bobby's voice, she instead heard Jack speaking, followed by Jock, Miss Ellie, and even JR. "We'll talk later, ok?" looking over at the foyer and then back to Bobby, she smiled politely and nodded, saying "yes", before standing to join JR and the rest of the family in welcoming Jack. The atmosphere had shifted and it truly was family socialisation time now, her confusing conversation with Bobby would have to wait; whatever was to happen next with Jack was just beginning though.

To be continued…


	577. Unconvinced

**Dallas, Texas**

"So Jack, how are you enjoying Dallas so far? Jock tells me you've toured the office, but what about the rest of the city? Believe it or not, Ewing Oil isn't the only thing Dallas has to offer, and our family love having you here, but I don't want you to get bored waiting for someone to find time to show you around…" Listening to his mother speaking to Jack, JR smirked to himself and looked around the room to see whether anyone else was hearing things the same way he was. His mother sounded concerned for Jack's sanity amongst the busy Ewing men, but more than that, to him she sounded as if she was sending him a warning, telling him that relying on Ewing Oil and the Ewing family to provide for him, financially or socially, wasn't a good plan. JR wasn't sure whether she meant it as a warning to stay away because he was bound to cause trouble, but he liked to think she did, because she had heard his thoughts on the situation and for once was taking his side. Of course, she could also just be being realistic with Jack, or genuinely curious about his activities during his time in Dallas, because she was a nice person like that, she did take an interest in other people, but deep down, he liked to think she was actually acting like a mother, protective, like Sue Ellen was with John Ross.

Turning his attention to Jack, JR listened quietly and interestedly as his supposed cousin responded. "Oh don't you worry about me Miss Ellie, I'm doing just fine here so far; I think it'll be a long time before I get bored in Dallas, it's an experience in itself just looking around, it sure is different here to Alaska, especially rural Alaska. Ewing Oil and the Dallas Ewings are what I came here for, but Dallas itself isn't so bad, in fact, I'm quite enjoying it here. To answer your question about exploring, I've been downtown to have a look around and since I'm staying in the suburbs I'm slowly getting acquainted with the layout of the city, mostly through wrong turns and missed highway exits. I went out last night too to sample the nightlife, that's something that sure won't bore me here; Alaska isn't lacking nightlife, oilmen can and do enjoy their time off, especially after a long shift, but Dallas is more… diverse? You have small country bars and live music here like we do in Alaska, but very rarely in Alaska did I ever visit anywhere like I did last night. I'm sure we have them, Anchorage isn't exactly a small town, not in my opinion, but for the biggest city in the state, it sure seems like a small town when I compare it to Dallas". Watching Jack as he paused for a moment, JR almost rolled his eyes at the 'grateful outsider/harmless country boy' story he was spinning, however, after looking around the room and seeing everyone else looking interested, he resisted; Sue Ellen probably had a point about at least looking like he was making an effort to be polite.

"Listen to me, I'm monopolising the conversation; I suppose I'm just excited to be here, a bit nervous too. Ewing Oil and my family in Dallas are something I've heard scattered throughout my whole life and now I'm here, in person. I understand your concern, but really, I don't need a tour guide to show me the city, I'm enjoying getting situated on my own". Turning his attention from Miss Ellie to Jock and then over to Bobby, Jack continued speaking, "I am very grateful to you Jock for fitting me in to your busy schedule at the office, and to you Bobby too, I know you're busy, but you took time to have lunch with me today". Watching Jack speaking and taking note of his family's reactions to him, JR really had to resist the urge to roll his eyes, or worse, actually scoff and say something; Jack was clearly playing a role, trying to solicit sympathy and it seemed to be working. "I suppose what I'm trying to say is this; Dallas isn't a boring city, but even if it was, the city is secondary to what I came here for, family, so thank you all for welcoming me the way you have, but please, don't feel obligated to entertain me, I'm capable of doing that all on my own".

Staring at his mother as Jack finished speaking, JR was now not so sure that she had actually been taking his side earlier, because she seemed to be awfully easily swayed by a schmaltzy speech. Sure, Jack had answered her questions, but in the most predictable, complimentary way possible, sidestepping any mention of how he planned to support himself or establish himself away from the supposed biological fact that he was a Ewing. The only real positive part of Jack's speech to JR was the thought of hearing his change of tune once he realised that not everything was easy and perfect in Dallas. If Jack had really just come to Dallas to get to know his family then fine, but if he wanted to work at Ewing Oil then he would have to interview and earn the job fair and square, if he didn't get the job though, JR imagined he'd probably leave as fast as he'd arrived. Jack was a user, it seemed so obvious to him, but apparently his mother, father, Bobby, Lucy, and even Sue Ellen to a lesser extent, just didn't seem to see it; in the end he would be right though, he always was.

"Now boy, we're family, we're Ewings, this is what Ewings do, no need to get sentimental about it, I know Jason would do the same for one of my boys". Watching his father standing and walking over to Jack to shake his hand, JR raised an eyebrow and smirked to himself at the thought of him or Bobby venturing anywhere near Alaska; Gary was different, he was a nomad, but even then, he had a feeling his little brother would be unlikely to go looking for more Ewings. It was a nice thought for Jock to mention Jason, but realistically, Jason's son was seeking and had found a lot more in Dallas than any of his cousins would ever look for or find in Alaska.

"Daddy's right, you're a Ewing, it's only natural that you're included in family events, so since it's Saturday tomorrow, why don't you come over, I'll show you the ranch, then maybe we could go out afterwards, I know some good places…" Turning his attention to Bobby as he too moved closer to Jack, JR took a drink, he would stay quiet because it was a better long-term plan, he didn't want to be written off as bitter and mean just yet, but that didn't mean he would act as happy and friendly as everyone else seemed to be. Finishing his drink as the rest of the family joined the conversation, clearly all influenced by the sappy story about coming to Dallas to find a family, but not wanting to bother anyone with his presence, he was almost relieved when Teresa showed up in the doorway to announce that dinner was ready to be served. A change of scenery didn't always mean a change of conversation, but it often did, and as it was now, he wouldn't mind that one bit, even if it meant listening to one of Lucy's school stories, his mother's DOA stories, or Bobby's ranch stories; anything that didn't focus on fawning over Jack was good with him.

To be continued…


	578. Full Table, Happy Family?

**Dallas, Texas**

"Would you look at that, all eight seats are occupied", hearing his father once again commenting on how nice it was to have Southfork filled with people again, JR actually meant it when he nodded, murmured in agreement, and smiled. His father had always associated a full table with a happy family, even when the people sitting at the table weren't always happy, so his comments now were basically nonsense, but still, hearing him acknowledge the number of people present in a positive way did make him feel good. For years he and his father had had private discussions regarding the two chairs reserved for his future wife and son and for years he had made excuses why they were still empty, now though, he didn't have to, and that pleased him greatly, as did the reason why. No longer did he have to make excuses as to why it wasn't the right time for him to settle down, or have to awkwardly reassure his father that he and Sue Ellen were in fact trying hard to bring John Ross Ewing III into the world; those two things becoming reality had really calmed and stabilised his personal life. The past had been very stressful for him personally, for a long time he hadn't been ready to settle down, then he had and conception hadn't happened immediately, then he and Sue Ellen had managed to conceive, but his infidelity had caused marital issues for them. After managing to reunite and welcoming their son into the world, all had been well for a little while, however, soon enough things had begun to change again, though luckily they were relatively easy to fix that time; deciding to move out of Southfork was a relatively minor issue in comparison to everything they had been through in their relationship.

He was happy now because for the first time in a long time he was back at Southfork and things weren't completely terrible, even though he still disliked Jack and disliked the way his father treated Jack and Bobby in comparison to him. Earlier, both of his parents had actually taken time to speak with him privately, letting him know how pleased they were that he and Sue Ellen had decided to accept their invitation and reminding him how much they missed the family all living together. He had no interest in moving back into Southfork, he'd had a taste of living away from the rest of the family and he had to agree that Sue Ellen had been completely right, it was better for their marriage, their individual sanity, and overall their relationships with the rest of the family. It was nice to hear that they were missed though, and now it was nice to hear his father acknowledging him and his small family as having done something good; he had done what had been asked of him, he had a wife and a son in their allocated seats. What was better than them just being there though was that they were happy to be there; he and Sue Ellen were happily married and John Ross was happy and healthy, their family unit was more than just a façade and that was nice.

At times he wondered how exactly he managed to stay faithful to Sue Ellen and their marriage vows, because he had failed so many times in the past, even when emotionally he loved her and she had been trying in every realm of their marriage to please him. He had analysed it a lot and he had a feeling that it really came down to the fact that if he lost Sue Ellen, he lost everything. He'd actually experienced that before and knew that was no life to live; when Sue Ellen had left him, he hadn't just become a single man, he had alienated everyone and things became extremely difficult in his professional life too. Things were different in business now, because his father had amended the terms of his inheritance of Ewing Oil, but realistically, he was far too attached to his wife and son now, far too detached from his family, and had no friends, so the promise of Ewing Oil meant little in any future scenario where that was all he had. More than that though, he was sure he had matured at least a little bit over the course of his marriage, as had Sue Ellen, and her efforts to be a 'good wife' were no longer the controlled actions of a naïve young lady; they were now a more equal match, in and out of the bedroom.

"It is nice… we're going to have to buy a bigger table if anyone else joins the family though", snapping out of his thoughts as Lucy responded to her grandfather's general comment, JR's somewhat negative mood returned. Unless the extra space required at the table was for his and Sue Ellen's potential future children, he wasn't too fond of the idea of anyone else joining the family; Jack was already too much of an addition as it was. Even the idea of Bobby marrying bothered him a little bit, he didn't have anything against his brother finding a nice woman and having a child of his own, there wasn't a competition to be the first anymore, however, the idea of having to play nice with a whole new set of in-laws was incredibly unappealing thanks to Patricia. He wasn't completely pleased with how things were with his parents, but he did see potential in the position he was in now; if any more people were added to the family pool though, stretching their attention, he would definitely start to be pushed to the outer edge of the family again.

He was nobody but Sue Ellen and John Ross' favourite, so there would always be someone ahead of him outside of his wife and son's preferences and that meant he had to work extremely hard in everything he did just to receive an equal share of the attention he deserved. When it came down to it, that's really why he disliked Jack, his 'cousin' wasn't a transparent person like he claimed to be, but was anyone? No, he disliked Jack mostly because he was essentially a stranger who had managed to walk straight into the role of a son with his father, not the son Jock expected anything of though, just the son he doted upon. Jack was another Bobby, but he was worse, at least Bobby had a solid history behind him, Jack was a peasant being treated like a king, or at least a prince; JR was a king, but a king who had to prove his worth before he was handed the kingdom. There was nothing wrong with working hard for what he had, in fact he expected to do so, it built more than character, it built skills and knowledge useful for future success. The problem he had with working for what he had was seeing everyone else being given things he had to work for; that wasn't fair and his father never seemed to understand when he tried to explain his feelings.

"I like the way you think Lucy", watching his father as he considered Lucy's comment, JR couldn't help but laugh and then feel sorry for his youngest brother as his father's next words came out. "Bobby, you turn some of those first dates you've been having turn into second and third dates and soon enough you'll need at least two more seats on your side…" His father was relentless, it wasn't enough to have one married son and two grandchildren already, he had to plan for more, even when that more was probably still far off. Bobby was still young and as his father had referenced, none of his dates ever seemed to turn into relationships and JR had a feeling that wasn't for the same reason none of his women had turned into girlfriends before he'd met Sue Ellen, Bobby wasn't the same type of man he was. "One day daddy; I wouldn't go looking for a new table just yet though", hearing his brother's response, he returned to a state of amusement rather than feeling sorry for him, Bobby was more than capable of defending himself against their father's pushiness, he just had to want to do so before he did it. Luckily, before his father could move on and start questioning he and Sue Ellen about their plans to add to the family, everyone was distracted by Teresa and Raoul entering the dining room, and soon enough, conversation was back to being between table partners rather than the whole family.

To be continued…


	579. Finding Common Ground

**Dallas, Texas**

"So you're a Ewing and your daddy was there when Ewing Oil was first starting, but you're not a Ewing of Ewing Oil? Doesn't that get confusing? Don't people ever hear your last name and start trying to talk about Ewing Oil business?" Interjecting in Bobby and Jack's conversation after listening for a little while and still not really grasping Jack's connection or lack of connection to the family business, Lucy stared expectantly at Jack and waited for an answer. She wasn't stupid, she had just been raised in a world where Ewing Oil was always somewhere near the centre and everything else revolved around it, including family relations, so it was new to her to meet a Ewing who had lived a different reality to the one she and her immediate family lived. Of course, she knew not all Ewings were destined for a job at Ewing Oil, her father had run as far from it as he could, and Bobby was choosing to leave too, plus, she wasn't being raised to see Ewing Oil the same way her uncles and cousin did, but still, Jack's circumstances were difficult for her to understand.

Hearing Lucy's question, Jack wasn't quite sure what to make of the little blonde girl. She didn't seem to be joking, and he didn't feel like she was purposely being difficult or sarcastic like JR had been during their few conversations, still though, he thought she seemed old enough to know where Alaska was and how far removed life there was from life in Texas. Making eye contact with her, meeting her expectant stare, he answered as best he could with the limited understanding he had of what was going on in her mind. "Well in short, yes, no, and no. I am a Ewing, but not a Ewing of Ewing Oil; mistaken identity really isn't a problem for me in Alaska, mostly because the fact is, nobody there ever really deals with Ewing Oil, so there's nobody to mistake me for someone important. You're in school, I'm sure you learn geography, Alaska isn't all ice, that's a stereotype, but it's a stereotype based on something somewhat factual, that fact being that Alaska's geography is a whole lot different to Texas' geography. The companies that drill in warmer climates like Texas are generally not the same ones that drill in Alaska, or if they are, they're not the independents like Ewing Oil. Plus, my job in Alaska was a lot different to the jobs your uncles and granddaddy do here in Dallas, there was very little opportunity for other people to find out about my family history in oil, it's not something me, my daddy, or my sister ever really talk about, and it's not something anybody ever asks about. Does that answer your question?"

"I guess so, Alaska is pretty far away and apart from you I've never met anyone from there, so I suppose it only makes sense that nobody there has heard of Ewing Oil, especially when no one from your family talks about it". Seeing Lucy think about his words for a moment and then shrug and accept his answer with a short response, Jack watched with amusement as she really showed her age by then turning her attention to Bobby, tapping him on the arm and whispering something in his ear. From looking at her and listening to her questions, it was clear she was still a young girl, but from her present actions he felt like he was seeing another side of her, she hadn't ever struck him as a shy person before, not until just now. Watching her and Bobby whispering for a few seconds, he felt less defensive and more comfortable with just being who he was when she finally spoke again, "this might be a stupid question, because you said Alaska isn't all ice and I think they kind of require ice and snow to be of use, but I'll ask anyway… Last year Bobby took me to see this movie, it was about a man and his sled dog in Alaska, or maybe it was Canada, I'm not sure. Anyway, I was wondering who's looking after your dog and if you had any pictures of him, but I feel now that I should probably ask first whether you even have a sled dog?"

Letting out a loud laugh at Lucy's naïve question, Jack grinned and leaned in toward her and Bobby and spoke in a quiet voice to avoid the whole family thinking he had been trying to get their attention. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, because believe me, more than once I've wanted one, but I don't have a sled dog, heck I don't even have a dog that just plays in the backyard. I think I know the movie you're talking about though and I should probably tell you it was set in the Yukon last century, so if you ever head up north, you might be in for a bit of a shock if you're expecting everyone to be living how they were in the movie. Not everything is different though, dog sledding is real and you can pay to do it yourself, it's just not something everyone does, and in populated areas most people use cars".

Blushing in slight embarrassment as Jack explained to her that what she had been hoping to see and hear wasn't really all that close to reality, Lucy was grateful to Bobby when he spoke and drew the attention away from her mistake, but still kept her in the conversation. "Come to think of it, that movie was set in the past… I suppose we have the same sort of thing here, not with dogs, but with horses, we use them as working animals, but they're also sort of like pets, especially Toffee and Chestnut, Lucy and Sue Ellen's horses. As you were saying about stereotypes though, not everyone in Texas has a horse, we just happen to live on a working ranch so we do, but if you're in the suburbs it's probably unlikely; I assume that's how things are in Alaska, generally everyday life just isn't that different". Nodding as Bobby spoke and watching Jack's face for a reaction to her uncle's words, Lucy decided then and there that their new family member was a Ewing in the way that really mattered, or at least in a way that she could relate to. His smile at the mention of their horses told her everything she had been seeking in her questions about his dog; she didn't know anything about oil, so trying to get to know him by relating to him that way was pointless, instead, she liked animals, and apparently so did he, that was their common ground. "Bobby's right, I love Toffee, he's beautiful, and so responsive, and he's extra special because he was a birthday gift from granddaddy. I'll introduce you tomorrow when you're here, you can meet Ace and Chestnut too, they're all very friendly. Do you ride?" Feeling comfortable with the conversation and company after a period of cautiousness and then embarrassment, she relaxed back into her chair as Jack began to respond to her question.

To be continued…


	580. Unexpected Answer

**Dallas, Texas**

"Now Sue Ellen, since Jack is going to be here tomorrow, and we haven't had a proper family day for a while, it would be nice if you, JR, and John Ross would join us tomorrow. Do you think you can make that happen? I know Ellie misses having John Ross around…" Nodding politely as she and Jock spoke quietly with each other since they were seated next to each other and JR and Miss Ellie seemed to be occupied by John Ross and their own conversation, Sue Ellen couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the reason her father-in-law gave for wanting them to join the family again the next day. Sipping her wine to give her time to think before responding, she began to wonder if perhaps JR was fighting a losing battle with his father when it came to getting him to understand his feelings because Jock didn't even understand his own feelings, or if he did, he wasn't quick to admit them.

Placing her wine glass down in front of her, she leaned slightly toward Jock and began to speak in a quiet voice, hoping to avoid the rest of the family taking notice of their conversation. "Jock, please, let's not play this game, Miss Ellie sees John Ross plenty, so let's not pretend bringing him here for family time is solely for her benefit". Giving him a look that made it clear she wasn't interested in participating in creating depth to his excuse, she waited a few moments before continuing to speak, softening her facial expression as she explained her position. "I wish you would just admit that you miss John Ross and you want him here because you enjoy being a grandfather, it's not something to be ashamed of, in fact it's something the rest of the family like to see and really does benefit everyone. I'm sure you've noticed, but in case you haven't, everyone is a lot happier and family events are a lot more enjoyable when we're not all arguing about something or trying to fit into very specific roles that aren't truly our own personalities. I spent years trying to play the perfect daughter, girlfriend, pageant queen, and wife, that was a lot of pressure and though I can't say it was all bad, I can honestly say I've never been happier than I am now in my role as JR's wife, John Ross' mother, and whoever I am as my own imperfect, human person. JR is trying to do the same, he's been trying to communicate with you more on a personal level and from what I gather that's not going as well as hoped… I'm not going to get into that though, it's not for me to make right. I didn't mention all of that for no reason though, I said it because I'm trying to express to you that it's difficult to really understand and be honest with someone when you only see a certain side of them and that side isn't really them. In this case, I think your formal patriarch role is too overbearing and you'd really have more success with keeping the family together if you just relaxed and embraced being a father and grandfather".

Bracing herself for her father-in-law to start to quibble and possibly even shout at her for being disrespectful toward him by judging the situation and telling him what to do, Sue Ellen was stunned when she managed to take a breath and take another sip of wine without any sound coming from him. Meeting his eye again, she had a feeling he was silent not because he was enthralled by what she had to say and was respectfully waiting for her to continue, but because he too was stunned, for different reasons to her surprise though. She had a feeling he was mostly surprised that their conversation had taken such a turn, because in the past, and even earlier in the evening, they had never really spoken at length, or in any real depth. Sure, they had exchanged heated words with each other before, but JR had been present in the majority of their conversations and although Jock and JR weren't particularly close, he did have a certain amount of respect for his eldest son, and with that came a respect of her position as JR's wife and a proper lady. Now though, things were different, she was speaking to him without JR to guide her or protect her, and she wasn't exactly sticking to the safe, neutral dinner topics that they usually touched upon when seated next to each other.

Deciding that while she had his attention she may as well say what she wanted to say, she then continued speaking, using the same quiet voice she had before as to not draw attention to their conversation. "I know you don't push transparency in business and I understand that, but our family isn't business, it's ok to just state what you want and move in a straight line toward that goal instead of playing a game of smoke and mirrors to ambush and defeat your enemies. JR is your son and John Ross is your grandson, if you're inviting us to spend the day with the family and we don't have any prior commitments, then we'll be there, we're all on the same side, part of the same family. With that being said though, I do think you should ask JR himself and ask him honestly, I know he would appreciate hearing you express that you miss having us around and you enjoy us all being together and acting like a family. Believe it or not, he doesn't hate this family and he wants many of the same things you want, he just lashes out when you try to control everything without consulting anyone, and it's tough on him when you don't acknowledge that you're acting that way".

Holding eye contact with Jock for more than a few seconds, she could see him gearing himself up to respond to her 'accusations', so quickly, before he could do that, she spoke again, reiterating her answer to his question and hoping to avoid ruining what had been a relatively nice family dinner so far. "That's just something to think about, like I said though, we'll gladly come tomorrow, we like being a part of the family when everyone is happy and no one is arguing", repeating again that she wasn't trying to be difficult, she hoped Jock was actually listening to some of what she was saying, not just hearing her. Receiving a loud laugh, a pat on the shoulder, and then seeing him taking a large drink, she knew he had heard something, though exactly what was a mystery to her, because she hadn't said anything particularly funny. "Lord help JR", not quite sure what to make of Jock's reaction, she took another sip of her wine and sat in stunned silence again. Her conversation with Jock hadn't gone as expected, but even with his confusing reaction, she felt positive about the direction of the evening and hopefully the direction of their family relations. Now that she knew she could speak to Jock in a way that he sometimes needed to be spoken to, without fear of him cutting her off and shouting at her immediately, she suddenly felt like a door had been opened.

To be continued…


	581. Uncharitable

**Dallas, Texas**

Turning his head at the sound of his father laughing and the mention of his name, JR looked on in shock and confusion at the picture before him; his father had his hand on Sue Ellen's shoulder and he appeared to be amused, not angry like a firm touch would indicate if it were on his shoulder. Leaning ever so slightly toward them, he frowned to himself as his efforts proved futile, his father's loud volume a moment earlier didn't appear to be him setting the tone for the rest of the conversation, and with everyone else at the table speaking, including his own mother trying to get his attention, he couldn't decipher much of their conversation.

Studying Sue Ellen's facial expression and body language for a few seconds, it didn't appear to him that she was upset or angry either, so although it bothered him that he wasn't able to eavesdrop, mostly because he was nosy, he didn't feel uncomfortable leaving her to deal with his father and returning to his own conversation. "I'm sorry mama, I missed that", somewhat reluctantly turning around to face his mother again, he made sure to try hard to actually listen to what she was saying and respond with real answers, not just polite, impersonal ones, because she was trying hard to interact with him, even if it was a bit awkward and borderline boring at times.

"I was saying I've been thinking about what Doctor Williams said about facilitating relationships… I think that can wait though, I notice your attention isn't completely with me right now and I see why", nodding her head in Jock and Sue Ellen's direction, Miss Ellie made eye contact with JR and the look that passed between them confirmed to him that he wasn't the only one surprised by the sudden chumminess between the two. His father and Sue Ellen had never hated each other, but they had certainly never been close, and over the past year or so, his father had definitely expressed his dislike for Sue Ellen's increased influence in his life. In his father's eyes, it was one thing to be a faithful, loving husband, but something completely different to regard his wife as an equal in their marriage, listening to her opinion and actually acting on her suggestions when it came to how they arranged their lives; the latter was just too far in his opinion. JR didn't know whether or not his father ever expressed his opinion to his own wife, however, if is mother's reaction meant anything, he imagined his attitude toward wives and their place in a marriage was very clear, even if he didn't say anything aloud. With that in mind, it was clearly just as surprising for his mother to see his father talking so quietly and friendlily with Sue Ellen as it was to him, it was just so unexpected, Jock and Sue Ellen Ewing weren't two people that ever really interacted beyond polite, generic exchanges.

Before JR and Miss Ellie had a chance to exchange more than a look between them that confirmed the strange situation, their attention was drawn to the other guests at the table, as was Sue Ellen and Jock's, breaking their strange bond. "Daddy, sorry to interrupt, Lucy and I need you to settle something. Jack's going to come riding tomorrow, he's ridden a before, not recently though and not at any great speed. I suggested Midnight because she's friendly, Lucy suggested Onyx because he's gentle". Frowning at the mention of Onyx and Jack in the same breath, JR glared at his niece when she interrupted Bobby's unimportant interruption with her own comment, "what Bobby said, but also because he's technically JR's horse, he's used to not going too fast or doing anything too challenging. He's also probably longing for someone other than the ranch hands to pay attention to him; he's probably already forgotten JR, but I still feel bad for him because we all have our own horses, so unless we have visitors the ranch hands are the only ones that do ride him".

Hearing Lucy's laugh at the end of her sentence, JR's glare intensified. His niece seemed to have matured a bit over the past few years, and he couldn't deny she was fantastic with John Ross, but at times like these all of the positives about her went out the window and he couldn't help but detest her. It was one thing for everyone to acknowledge that he wasn't a rancher, he had no desire to change that situation, but for Lucy to take it a step further, intentionally bringing attention to his 'failures' pissed him off. He didn't like being made fun of, but more than that he didn't like the idea that his lack of horsemanship was being used to provide an entry point for Jack into the family. With his luck, Jack's inexperience with horses would turn out to be an understatement and soon enough he'd be leading the pack around the ranch, on Onyx, his horse, no less; that possibility was not appealing at all.

"Now Lucy that's not fair, we all have our own interests and talents and horses just don't happen to be one of mine, like I'm sure oil isn't one of yours, you don't see me emphasising your inability to financially support this family though". Addressing her attitude to begin with, he paused for a moment before taking a breath and opening his mouth to speak again, though annoyingly his little niece beat him to it, rolling her eyes before meeting his glare and speaking herself. "Gosh, Sue Ellen's right, you are more sensitive than you pretend to be, it's not in a good way though. You're being a baby, I wasn't even speaking to you and you act like I was attacking you; I didn't lie and I didn't pretend to be capable of more than I am either, so I don't know why you're being so irritating". Watching her then turn her attention back to his father, he suddenly became aware of how public their conversation was and how bad he would likely look to the family if he continued the conversation he was having, because he knew that it was one thing to defend himself, but another to look like he was attacking a child.

Seeing Lucy open her mouth to address his father again, JR was surprised but pleased when Sue Ellen managed to get in first, taking his side in the argument rather than Lucy's. "Lucy, that's enough. Whether you like it or not, JR is your uncle and he deserves some respect and I don't think he's receiving that right now. You're right, you didn't lie, but you weren't very nice either; it's not polite, kind, or proper to use someone's limitations to prove a point that could've been made without doing so, it's not nice either to twist information to suit your agenda. I'm not going to force you to apologise, I think that needs to come from inside you, but I want you to think about that and we'll talk later". Squeezing Sue Ellen's hand under the table, JR couldn't help but grin at the latest turn of events. It was pretty pathetic that his wife was able to more effectively defend him and reprimand Lucy than he could, however, he was also proud and happy that she had done so, and in a sick way it gave him great joy to see Lucy's face drop.

"All of you, that's enough. Lucy, Sue Ellen's right, you could've made your point without mentioning JR; and JR, for goodness sake, don't be so quick to react to little comments, you're a grown man, one who prides himself on his business achievements, this is tiny in comparison, treat it as such". Jumping into the conversation after watching the situation unfold, Miss Ellie had everyone's attention when she spoke. "Now, I propose we table this discussion until tomorrow, there's no sense in getting in an argument about something that can be decided in the morning when you're all down at the stables with the horses".

Watching his mother as she made eye contact with each person at the table, JR's grin grew as he thought about what she had said, how she had said it, and how he could use what she had said to facilitate his return to where he liked being in life, at the top. "You know mama, I think you have a very good point there, you too Lucy, so good in fact that it's settled, for me at least. I'll be there tomorrow, it sounds like Onyx needs some attention and some people need reminding that just because I don't ride and I don't like riding, doesn't mean I can't ride and I don't do it well". Looking at his mother then at Lucy as he spoke, he then turned his attention to Jack, not softening his grin at all, "sorry Jack, looks like you'll have to wait a little longer before you can start working on the full takeover plan". Chuckling to himself, he took a drink and looked at his family sitting in silence as they probably wondered what on earth was wrong with him; riding wasn't something he ever volunteered to do, but this time it was, it appeared it was going to be a necessary step in maintaining control of what was his.

"Sue Ellen, I take it back, you've taught him some things, but he's still JR", glancing over at his wife and father as his father spoke, JR chuckled and nodded at his father, acknowledging his comment as a compliment, even if it was said in a somewhat snide manner. His father wasn't really speaking to him, but he was speaking loud enough that it was clear he wasn't hiding what he was saying, and since he didn't seem to be angry, JR didn't feel the need to control his reaction to his comment too much. "That he is daddy", turning at the sound of Bobby's voice, JR grinned again and raised his glass to his youngest brother, "I'm glad to know my reputation precedes me". Sliding his hand from holding Sue Ellen's hand to running along her thigh, he looked around the table and relaxed; those he wanted to feel uncomfortable looked it, and those he wanted to please or maintain power over seemed to be happy to let him speak. Things were beginning to return to the state where he felt like he could maintain control and that pleased him.

To be continued…


	582. It Ain't Over Till the Fat Lady Sings

**Dallas, Texas**

Looking around the table, from John Ross to JR, to Miss Ellie, to Bobby, to Lucy, to Jack, and finally to Jock, Sue Ellen was well aware of the change in mood amongst the family; things felt heavy and considering the context, that wasn't a good thing, family dinner was no time for heavy discussions. From JR's firm hold on her under the table, she knew his confidence was growing too and as much as she loved her husband and wanted him to 'win' whatever battle he was under the impression he was fighting, she didn't want it to come at the expense of the progress they were making with the family. She had been pleasantly surprised by how the evening had progressed so far and she didn't want to see all of that ruined because JR stepped too far over the line, even if he was justified in saying or doing what he wished.

Deciding to take things into her own hands, she held her attention on Jock as she scanned around the table, and meeting his eye, she spoke, responding to his comment about JR being himself, but also giving him a look that indicated now would be a good time to make public what they had been speaking privately about. "Mm, what would this family be without JR?" Holding eye contact with her father-in-law, she hoped his brief friendliness a short time ago hadn't been a complete fluke and the stubbornness he and JR shared wouldn't hold him back from taking her earlier suggestion. In a jealousy-motivated turn of events, JR had made plans to visit Southfork the next day, without her even having to suggest it, so half of what she'd encouraged Jock to say earlier had already been said, however, in an ideal world there was still something Jock could say to make the situation one that wasn't purely jealousy-motivated. Unfortunately, Jock didn't seem to want to take her hint, but since she had said her response loud enough for everyone to hear, Lucy did. "I can think of a few things; quiet, happy, together…" Turning her head as soon as she heard her niece speaking, her encouraging, challenging facial expression changed to one of anger and annoyance, she didn't know what was wrong with Lucy this evening but she knew she was nearing the end of her tether when it came to tolerating her attitude and negative comments.

"Lucy!" turning her attention again, this time to her mother-in-law, Sue Ellen felt a small amount of relief as it became clear she wasn't the only one unimpressed with Lucy's comments; Miss Ellie loved her granddaughter, but love didn't mean she liked or even tolerated everything she did. Apparently Jock felt the same way too, because before Miss Ellie had time to continue speaking, or Lucy had time to answer back, Jock interjected with his own thoughts, finally saying something that could be interpreted as at least somewhat defensive of JR. "Yes young lady, that's enough; any more of this behaviour and I won't hesitate to put you over my knee. Now, you to apologise to JR and then I don't want to hear you speaking out of turn again". Glancing over at Lucy again and seeing her face pale, she knew the threat of spanking was what had really made her listen and she wondered if perhaps she had threatened the same thing earlier they could've avoided the whole discussion they were having now. Realistically though, that wasn't the type of relationship she and Lucy had, nor one she really wanted to have, she wasn't her mother and disciplining her to that extent seemed like it would cross a number of lines.

"I'm sorry JR, it was meant to be a joke…" hearing the dejected tone Lucy used as she apologised to JR, Sue Ellen actually felt a bit bad for her niece, usually her sarcasm was tolerated and oftentimes found amusing, so to be told off for her misbehaviour now was likely a shock and a bit humiliating. She couldn't feel too terrible for Lucy though, she had already been warned for goading JR once during their meal, yet she had done it again and had overstepped the line. Sue Ellen also couldn't quite bring herself to feel too terrible for Lucy too because she had so much love and empathy for JR and she knew that although he didn't usually take anything their pre-teen niece had to say all that seriously, he still didn't want to be reminded of his differences in the family. It was already enough to know he was neither Jock nor Miss Ellie's favourite son, but to also be reminded that everyone but him liked ranch life, and that a life without him was able to be visualised in positive way, that was a bit much. Of course, very rarely did JR say or show that he actually felt in any way inadequate or left out, even now he looked serious but not upset, and his possessive hold on her was just as strong as ever, but she knew, she knew deep down inside him, he heard and felt everything, even if he'd never admit it.

"Well, it wasn't very funny. If it weren't for me you wouldn't have Sue Ellen and John Ross, you probably wouldn't have the other things you think you would either; believe it or not, I am not the one to blame for everything that goes on in this family". Listening to JR's response, Sue Ellen felt as if things were once again heading in a direction that was counterproductive to facilitating positive relationships, especially the one she as trying to encourage between JR and Jock. With that in mind, she was thrilled when Teresa and Raoul appeared with coffee and dessert; their presence was enough to take the attention away from the increasingly serious and tense conversation, at least for a short period. She would have to speak to Lucy later, that was, if Jock or Miss Ellie didn't get to her first, but for now she didn't worry that there would be further negativity from her; Lucy had been silenced by the threat of her grandfather spanking her, and JR's clear lack of amusement and tolerance of her opinion.

As with any meal at Southfork though, it didn't pay to be too relaxed. Getting a group of people like the Ewings all together in one room had the potential to be a disaster and although they had managed to avoid a complete family meltdown so far, the evening wasn't over yet, so there was still time for everything to change.

To be continued…


	583. Interrogation

**Dallas, Texas**

"So Jack, we haven't really had a chance to talk, so excuse me if this is a redundant question, but now that you're in Dallas, what do you plan to do here?" Observing Sue Ellen with interest as she posed her question to him, Jack wondered whether JR had put his wife up to pursuing answers or whether she genuinely wanted to know herself. From everything he had experienced with JR so far, pushing until he got the answer he was looking for was exactly his style, and using others to do his bidding for him wasn't beyond belief, however, he couldn't necessarily say without a doubt that he believed Sue Ellen was the same way. Her comment was correct, they hadn't really had a chance to talk, so he could be reading her wrong, but on the surface she seemed nice, but also firm, and he wasn't sure that JR could easily manipulate her into playing his game. With that in mind though, her firmness had all been in defence of her husband, and their interaction during their first meeting had seemed to be mostly just polite interaction, not the open friendliness he'd received from Jock, so really, he couldn't be sure about his opinion of her; perhaps she was completely on JR's side, willingly playing his game. Whatever he motive for asking him the question she had though, he knew what his answer had to be; he had to appear to be being open and transparent, Jock appreciated honesty, and with JR watching him like a hawk, just waiting for him to slip up, there was no place for lies. Of course, that didn't mean he had to tell the whole truth, some things didn't need to be said in as much detail as he had considered them, but on the whole, he would be better off telling the truth.

"No, no, not redundant, I understand why you'd be curious. I'll be honest with you, I didn't come to Dallas with any concrete plan; I came to meet my family and see and experience what life outside Alaska is like. I wanted to see the other side of the oil business looks like, my daddy is quite content to do the hard labour day in and day out, as is my sister, but I've always wondered what else there was, what went on in the offices of the men behind the list of orders received by the rig manager. I guess I'm opportunistic, because once I realised that I actually did have family involved in that side of the business, and I had means to make contact, that was it, that was the start of my separation from Alaska and the start of my journey here to Dallas. To answer your question in simple terms, I suppose I'm doing what I planned to do, because I didn't plan all that far ahead. Do I plan to do this long term though? No, I can't afford to. I can't afford not to work, and if I have to go back to working in the fields, then I will. Before deciding to do that because it's the only option left though, I'd like to look for other roles, something to satisfy my desire to see a different side of the oil industry. I feel I'd be lying too if I didn't say that I hoped being here, with my family, in Dallas, rather than somewhere else in the state or the country, would be of some benefit to me. I don't mean that in the sense that I'm looking for a handout from anyone here in Dallas, I have enough to get by on for now and as I said, I will go back to working manual labour if necessary. I was thinking more along the lines of an insider's perspective of the companies around town, perhaps an introduction to useful connections, from what I've heard, a number of jobs are never advertised, and being new around here I don't know where to begin. I suppose what I'm saying is, I don't have a job here in Dallas yet, so what I plan to do is ambiguous at the moment, but I am motivated, and I am experienced, so I feel positive about my future here".

Holding Sue Ellen's attention for most of his speech, he hoped he came across as genuine, because for the most part, he was. He had come to Dallas hoping to make connections with his extended family and escape his life in Alaska, both his work life and his home life, so he hadn't been lying about that. He was also telling the truth about being willing to get a job doing what he had been doing in Alaska, because he wasn't a leech, he did have some morals and allowing others to pay his way while he did nothing didn't sit well with him. As it was though, what he really wanted more than an introduction to important connections, or information, from Jock, was a job offer at Ewing Oil. Ewing Oil and his uncle Jock were the things he had heard so much about from his father, so even if it was a bit of a naïve fantasy, the idea of being a part of the successful Ewing family had been what had really pushed him toward Dallas, rather than anywhere else in the country, when he'd left Alaska.

"Other companies, or Ewing Oil? Come on Jack, be honest with us". Moving his attention just a few inches to the right, from Sue Ellen over to JR as JR interrupted his response and his thoughts with a probing comment, Jack inwardly groaned; for some completely unknown reason, JR didn't like him and had it in his head that he needed to sabotage his efforts to integrate. He was sure Jock knew he'd been motivated by more than just wanting to meet his extended family, they had discussed working in the fields and how backbreaking that could be, they had also compared mental toughness to physical strength, however, he had never specifically detailed to Jock that he desired to test his mental abilities at Ewing Oil. It appeared that now was the time to do that though, otherwise JR probably would; he didn't know him well, but he seemed like the type to research things so that when he asked a question, he already knew the answer.

"JR, I don't know what your problem is with me, but I'd appreciate if you weren't so sceptical all the time. I have nothing to hide; like I just explained, I'm interested in other companies, because I don't expect handouts; to answer your question though, I'm interested in Ewing Oil too, why wouldn't I be? Historically it's just as much mine as it is yours, my daddy was there too, I grew up with stories about the wildcatting days just like you did. Even with that history though, I don't lay claim on it, I know it's not mine, however, it's not a crime to be interested", pausing for a few seconds to let it sink in that he and JR weren't all that different, he then continued speaking. "If you're really probing too, I know all about Bobby's open position, it's not a secret, not in this family and not to the public. If that's what you're getting at then there's your honesty, and if it's not, then tell me, because I'm sick of this cold, suspicious attitude". Glaring at his cousin as he finished speaking, he actually felt pretty good; he had had to justify himself, and everyone's reactions were still to be determined, but at least he had broken the barrier, in front of everyone, so they all had the same version of events, from his thoughts down to his demand for an explanation from JR. He didn't know JR well, but he had a feeling that if their conversation had occurred in private, the story relayed to everyone later on wouldn't be quite so close to the reality of what was happening. JR couldn't be trusted, at least not now, that was a fact.

To be continued…


End file.
